something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

Equinox Specific VOY Memes

i would like to Try and make 20k today which is only 2k words and it's 11:30....only thing i have to do today is groceries...and i'm at work all day tomorrow so no writing then probably...i am working with a lot of stuff i've already written so that'll slow down the word count and this is a pretty slow chapter in terms of things happening it's more like, a lot of set up/establishing beau's current circumstances and how he interacts with it. but i think it's doable especially because when i get really into lover boy i just don't shut the fuck up

btw u guys have to promise to not be mad at me for becoming ur turtle mutual. please

This is about the characters, of course

Just gonna go sleep for tonight I like the idea of what's happening but the execution is giving me a migraine x) might just be me because i haven't watched bbh much before (the french were feeding us well) but he seems much more eratic than when we see him from etoiles. I understand that he's been getting more and more frustrated and it got to him but this is getting a bit much for me at 2AM. I can't take the wild accusations and the enabling that doesn't seem to go in the way the character was presented like before (though understandable if influenced by recent events) I might find it funny when I catch up tomorrow morning but it's becoming it little too much on the mind right now.

Also I wish we could go back to wondering what's up with the nether x) or even have the two storylines happen at the same time

i had a dream last night where i was trying to put together a piece for an art final in one afternoon (because apparently i was taking an art class? i kept having lucid moments of hey i’m not even taking a real art class but i was content to still do the project) and actually i remember very clearly what i was planning and i have all the stuff for it i think i should recreate the dream art final piece

choosing to be delusional and not accepting *’s death since we never saw the body beyond that scene and misty /is/ an actress after all

when im too lazy to make a height difference for my sims while im posing them in blender i just select their whole rig and move them downwards until their heights are correct and then hwen im taking screenshots in ts4 i just dont show their feet so u cant see that theyre clipping thru the floor

I like everybody else terminally online watched the plagiarism video this weekend

And maybe I'm just coming at this from a perspective of someone who was not exposed to j som before he got exposed but like Jesus fuck what the shit

Plagiarism notwithstanding, that man makes some bogus ass, shit ass claims that on a very basic level just do not pass a sniff test by anyone who knows even a little bit about anything

I mean, the man waxes on longingly about the beautiful aryan nazi bodies to serve the conclusion that US troops volunteered for service to.....prove that it wasn't just the nazis who had perfectly sculpted hairless asses? Is that like......even something anyone thinks smells a little bit true? Like on a basic motivational level, for a nation, for a people, for a single person?

Making claims that the Roman empire was 70% slaves and 30% patricians.........does that even sound correct? Like, even if all you know about ancient Rome is from memes and shit, where are the plebs? You know, the thing we still call people today, when they're acting common and unwashed

The thing about how no songs prior to 1956 made references to kissing....I mean guys.....

And like ......not to like.... But like ..... The man has the charisma of a slow growing fungus. Granted I've only ever seen clips bc by the time I got there, he'd nuked his channel, but like.... I've heard AI voices reading tiktok subtitles inject more urgency and personality into text. J som reads text like he not only doesn't know what he's saying, he doesn't know any of the individual words and how they interact with one another. Like who voluntarily listens to this boring dumbass badly read from a script that has no coherent style tying it together?

Like I know people are gagging for gay rep but fuckin seriously, not only is he a plagiarizing douche who makes shit up wholecloth, he's not even a decent entertainer

Is this what y'all are settling for? Is the bar really that fuckin low?

it took days for jane to get over and recover from the strain it required closing the gate. sealing the demogorgan away was one thing, it knocked her out for at least an hour, and left her incredibly weak and frail. the only reason she was able to fight for herself and escape the upside down was the sheer adrenaline of it all. knowing mike was out there somewhere, knowing the bad men were after her. but in closing the gate, she knew, for the moment, that she would be able to find some peace in herself, that she wasn’t required for the time being. although i think the series itself seriously underestimated and downplayed the affect of closing the gate actually had on her (bc of their goddamn ‘one month later’ bullshit. like it works sometimes. but noT ALL THE TIME!! it’s getting real old now imo). jane was very woozy after the events, and hopper had to carry her out of the lab because she couldn’t walk. on the drive back home she fell into a very deep sleep that was rather concerning at first. not only was the power extreme and draining, but it was terrifying, too. she lifted off the ground, her sheer anger was enough to lock this great beast away; the mental capacity this took on her was also enough to lull into that deep sleep.

the following days after closing the gate, she mainly sleeps, only waking for a few minutes over scattered times, waking to find someone (usually hopper) sitting at her bedside. it’s blurry and disorienting, and she’s not awake for more than three minutes at a time. her body temperature goes nuts over these few days, from boiling hot to freezing cold, and hopper is constantly opening and closing the windows, taking her bed sheets on and off, to accomodate to her temperature best he can. she thrashes about in her sleep, though never wakes up from the horrible things plaguing her mind. a few times in her brief moments of consciousness, she also vomits, mainly liquid goo because she hasn’t been eating, and has nothing to throw up. the sick itself is extremely hot; assumed aftermath of the heat she endured when closing the gate. when she does come to properly, and finds some semblance of balance and familiarity, she is slow on her feet, luggy and dazed. she spends another two days practically in bed, only getting up to go to the bathroom, and not allowed any visitors. eating gets her strength back up, but at first she can’t hold it down properly. she drinks a lot of water though, which gets her body working again, and she slowly but surely begins to function normally. those veins on her face take nine days to fade completely; there are also scattered veins up her arms, and on her hands. they begin in the centre of her palms, swirl around her fingers, and trail off in the front of her hands. they all fade in unison, and vanish after said nine days. however the veins on her left hand remain; they do fade, but for some reason never leave completely. jane often clenches that fist in and out, hating the marring lines, thinking it ugly and monstrous. it came from the upside down, and she feels like she’s stuck with a piece of it now. it is a process to get back to normal, but as we see by the time the snowball arrives, she’s back to some version of herself.

jane still dreams about closing the gate, the heat that burst in her belly, feeling her feet rise from the ground, feeling the blood pouring from her ears, the sweat on her face. all these feelings and more prickle at her skin sometimes, without warning, and can either vanish as quickly as they came, or linger without a timeframe. depending on the extremities, they can make her immobile, feeling like her body is seizing up, and she can’t move. it feels like her spine has been frozen, and her mind and body are completely disconnected from one another. it’s a scary, horrible feeling; feeling like she’s trapped in her own body. it does pass, and the longest it’s ever occurred was sixteen minutes. when she begins seeing cathleen ( her therapist in season four ), she is given ways to overcome when this occurs, mental and physical exercises to break free from the clasps of the upside down. this follows her way into adulthood though, never as bad when as a child, but still prominent. after she learns some ways to control it, it tends to occur just as she wakes up in the morning, waking to find her body betraying her. although being in bed, on her own, gives her time to work through it slowly, without feeling pressured or worried that anyone around her is scared for her. she doesn’t need to deal with prying (albeit caring) eyes, and can focus on herself.

so very interesting thinking about the similarities between john kramer and walter white for many reasons, but one thing that is on my mind constantly is that leigh whannell wrote a scene for saw ii that included john kramer shaving his head after receiving his cancer diagnosis, n the scene was meant to symbolize the moment john truly became jigsaw. and then in breaking bad (s1e6) there is a scene in which walter white shaves his head after receiving his cancer diagnosis and undergoing chemotherapy, symbolizing the beginning of him truly becoming heisenberg.

its impossible for you all to understand how much of my thoughts r in sweeney references. like there is one person on this earth who understand and its my sibling who is similarly inclined...

its been over 24 hours since i remade this psd for the 2nd time because i loved it so much on that one edit and i must say. i understand why i dropped the psd twice

i need everyone to know that leo is the first brother mikey introduces his new boyfriend to

build/buy cc creators who dont label their cc so it will all show up together in-game when u search their name are so annoying