#this one isn't as much about jikook as it's about jimin's trauma lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightswithkookmin · 2 years

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Hi goldy, Are you ok? I dont know if you have mental space for this topic right now. This is related to what Jk said in his proof collectors addition , about he not ever extend hand to anybody but his hand was held by others. Do you think that there is taker and giver in the relationship and can those roles be fullfilling for both parties? And can that be change in persons personality (Role exchange) ?Just a question for general discussion and not limited to jikook.

He said that?

If he really said that then he just admitted he's toxic

Welcome to the toxic gang JK. I'm the co-captain😌

Any relationship based on a giver/taker dynamic is a rather toxic abusive dysfunctional dynamic.

I get dragged for filth when I talk about these things but lord knows my eye be twitching and shit when it's staring at me right in the face, calling my name

The " I'm greedy" the "not wishing friends and coworkers a happy birthday on the internet while they do so consistently for him" the "not returning texts and calls but pouting when that energy is returned to him" the "going hulk on others for flirting but doing whatever the fuck he wants with whomever"

Chilee let me not drag him today cos Jimin's birthday is coming and I need to kiss his ass in hopes he posts something cos I don't want another heartbreak October🤧

The dragging will come later💀

JK YOU DOING GREAT SWEETY let's see some ass😁

Give/take relationships creates trauma bonds when one person is doing all the giving and another is doing all the taking.

You're putting all the emotional labor on the other person or persons while you cross legs on the emotional table and do nothing at all. You gonna sit there and watch them break their backs carrying all the emotional load and doing all the work in the relationship like sir that's not a good look.

Healthy relationships don't work that way. But I'm sure he's just exaggerating lol. When they use language like this it's often a show of humility and their own way of acknowledging they have to put in more effort because in their heads they receive more than they give.

Jimin uses similar language as well.

But truth is, they do too much for the internet 🙄

They sacrifice a lot of their autonomy, censor themselves, have to be careful what they post on the internet, watch their weight all the time, can't pause and enjoy their youth and their life and have to indulge in work work work till they are too old to keep gyrating on stage at which point we all would have moved on from them onto the next big thing.

On a personal level however, do be doing too little for eachother sometimes 😩😩😩😩😩

We always take the people closest to us for granted cos we stop desiring their validation and crave it from others.

Ladies, if your partner isn't doing too much for you but is willing to go all out for others that don't even mean much to them go back to the drawing board and work out how to make them want validation from you again💀

Take a page from Jimin's book and love bomb them, shower them with praises and compliments till they get complacent and then stop when you want to drive them crazy😈

It takes a lot of emotional strength or lack thereof to be able to give give give and receive so little in return.

And people who often put themselves in this position are those who are afraid to be the center of attention or to receive love. They don't feel worthy of the love they recieve. They say they want love but really are just scared to be loved and would rather be the ones giving love rather than receiving love. As long as you give them the bare minimum of affection they'll stick to you and work their bones to powder to prove themselves worthy of your love.

They are also the ones often with the anxious attachment style who very often want their partner by their side always and start checking their phones two seconds to see if their partner called.

They often attract people with avoidant attachments who come off as cold and closed off and hard to reach emotionally.

Wherever have I come across a duo like this

I think a healthy relationship take work and both parties must give in equal proportions, take in equal proportions and put in the same amount of effort so it's not lopsided dynamics.

What he is describing here is a codependent relationship dynamic and I think I've talked extensively about that aspect of their relationship in jikook.

And if I start talking again I would be dragging Jimin right along side him for also giving giving giving and not putting his own needs first most times in the name of kumbaya. Making excuses for him talking about he's not good at expressing himself emotionally- NO. SIR. YOU JUST DICKMATIZED.

And Tae too will be there JKsplaining away💀

B-b but he's cute look at his cheeks🥺

NOPE. YOU'RE TRAUMA BOUND TO HIM.

Stockholms I say. STOCKHOLMS. 🤣

Like dude won't even return calls or texts or even try to put in effort to make things work because he has all these boundaries in place- isn't this what Tae complained about in ITS? JK not meeting him half way and treating him like a hyng rather than friend? Eventually Tae stopped trying too cos he petty af too and their relationship went 🃏🎭📉 flatline.

And they'll turn around and ask "we were so close. What happened?" What do you mean what happened. You both petty is what. Free us😆

Jk is either very self aware or he's just a self deprecating humble brag. Cos he does have his strengths. Not gonna lie, he has such an amazing personality and he doesn't say much but he's one of the kindest idols ever in Kpop. Yet he doesn't talk about that. Part of his show, don't tell personality I guess.

I just think he has a different way of expressing his affection and love for others. And where he lacks in daily minute effort he makes up for it in grand sweeping gestures and grand declarations of love.

Relationships are about compromises too. If he doesn't pick up your calls but would rather show up to your door when you call it's a compromise and equally a great way to show effort and show you he cares.

This reminds me of JM saying JK never comes when he calls but two seconds later JK was on his door knocking, "because JM called." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He didn't post online on JMs birthday but showed up to help him celebrate his birthday on live.

This is why I don't dwell too much on "JK'S FLAWS" as some people will say. He is not flawed. He's different. The way you see him in one dynamic is not at all how he is in another dynamic or even outside the group.

He may come across as a 'push over softie' in one dynamic but I promise you he will break you in half if you fuck with him on the streets.

Just because he is not putting in the effort in one dynamic don't mean he does the same in his other relationships or that that is his pattern of behavior.

Most times, you can't generalise his behavior and say well he is like that with everybody- the way people tend to generalise JMs behavior to say he is like that with everyone.

He's not 'kind' to everybody but he's not mean to everybody too. Know what I mean?

That portrait he made for Hobi on his birthday is worth more to me than any post he's ever made on the internet cos that's peak effort and speaks volumes about the care and thought he put into giving to others.

Recently, me and my gf fought because she insists on sending me good morning texts every morning- and she does this consistently when we are apart. Its sweet and all but that's about all the effort she makes when we are apart- when I'll rather speak to her at the end of her day to know how her day went, what she did so I know know what her emotional needs are and meet them or express my love for them by comforting them or encouraging them.

But sis just thinks that's unnecessary cos she's tired at the end of her day and just wanna go to bed and talk to me first thing in the morning when she don't feel like the world is on her shoulders.

Problem is, it's her start of the day and the end of mine sometimes and she is in a hurry to go to work so she can't really say much and sometimes she's forgotten what she did the previous day🙄

I feel disconnected from her cos my love language is knowing a person intimately. The more I know about you the more I feel emotionally attached to you. But that's not her love language cos she's an Aries. Now we are at an impasse.

Compromises are important because what works for one person may not work for another. And it's admirable the way Jungkook customizes his relationship with others based on their unique personalities.

Hobi is not Jimin. He may get away with certain things with Suga but Jimin will put his foot on his neck if he tries it with him. They both very competitive with each other for example but that dynamic is absent with other members.

But at the baseline, i think he's a kind and generous person.

He's out there sending trucks, buying designer clothes, expensive jewelry for his friends and just look at the way he rushes to comfort Jimin when JM is down like no please he's a catch🤧

Y'all saw him and Jimin on JMs birthday last year? Came like Zeus in a flash of a light when JM said he needed him!

In ON:E concert in October when he saw JM crying his eyes out? That little hand grabbing. Pleaseee!

ROSEBOWL ANY ONE? Aaaaaaahhhhh JUNGKOOK!

T'is teww much my chest finna explode

I WISH SOMEONE WILL LOVE ME THE WAY JUNGKOOK LOVES ANYTHING REALLY.

I want to be his tattoos, his gcfs, his music sheet, his Playlist, bam, Jimin.

PLEASE THAT MAN A TEN. A SOLID TEN.

Plus, I think they've all grown so much over the years, matured and unlearned so much. They've come such a long way if Tae Kook were even willing to sit and talk and address their issues like adults and JM can hear I love you from a member without cringing- he tries lmho.

Show me someone with a heart of Gold. If not Jungkook. When he loves he loves deeply and with his whole chest. I think that trumps any perceived negative quality he thinks he has. He needs to be gentle on himself.

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