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cerise-on-top · 7 days

Note

Could you make a cute alphabet for Valeria?

Hey! Sure!

Fluff Alphabet for Valeria

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

While Valeria does love going shopping with you above most things, she’d actually love nothing more than to go stargazing with you. Although she has no idea why, she actually really likes looking at the stars and knows a few stories behind some of the constellations as well. Not very many, but she can tell you a few. She isn’t even that into space, but something about looking at the endless universe and realizing its beauty just gets to her. Loves doing that with you whenever she can.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

She loves the fact that you speak your mind whenever you feel like it. Valeria doesn’t particularly like guessing games and the uncertainties that come with them, she’d much rather have all the information she can get from the get go. So you telling her what you think without sugarcoating everything is a nice change of pace since everyone else usually hides things from her to get on her good side. You’re honest, sometimes even blunt, and she can truly appreciate that.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

If someone hurt you, then she’d go after them and teach them a lesson. A not very kind and gentle one, mind you. Anyone who makes you feel bad deserves to freeze in the ninth circle of hell, being chewed on by the devil himself. However, if you’re feeling sad for no apparent reason, then she’ll try to distract you by taking you on a shopping spree or getting you your favorite food. She’s not at all good at comforting people, but she tries. If you have a panic attack she’d try the same thing, except she’d speak a bit more softly with you than before.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Somewhere in a nice mansion, with a few trustworthy maids, where everything manages itself, she’d share her empire with you. On the one hand she doesn’t want you involved in the slightest in all of it, but on the other hand she sort of wants you to become as successful as she is in her business. She’d love to rule over the cartel with you, she’d love for you to be as cunning as she is. However, she knows that likely won’t ever happen, largely because she’s just that careful, but she can dream about it.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Valeria is dominance personified. Sure, you can make some suggestions and she’s more inclined to listen to you than someone else, but she wears the pants and it’s blatantly obvious in your relationship. Whatever she says goes, even if you can get into fights because of that. If she tells you to hide, you will. If she tells you to not tell a single soul about your relationship, you won’t. Although she may not always know everything, she usually knows what’s best and what she’s doing. She wants the both of you to be safe.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

I don’t think she’d forgive easily, not even you. She can be a very petty woman, even with you. While I don’t think she’ll let it out on you as much, she would definitely yell at you when she’s angry enough. Sure, she’ll try to be more on the rational side with you, but her anger gets the better of her and she’ll raise her voice at you. If you start crying then she’ll calm down a bit and forgive you more easily, in fact she might try to yell a bit less as well. However, it takes a proper apology from you for her to forgive you.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

It may not seem like she’s all that grateful to have you around, but she is thankful for you. She doesn’t have a lot of time for you, she sometimes gets hurt for one reason or another and doesn’t always tell you, when she’s home she doesn’t always take care of the chores. However, she’s truly grateful for you to care for her as much as you do, she doesn’t take it for granted. She does try to spend time with you whenever she can, she tries not to worry you with her injuries when she has some, she does try to do the chores but she’s usually too tired to do them once she’s home. However, she’ll try to show her gratitude by buying you expensive things. Again, she’s not good at being affectionate.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Yes, there are plenty of things she doesn’t tell you about. She doesn’t particularly like talking about her past all that much, even if it wasn’t all that traumatic either. Unless you somehow know about her having been part of the Mexican army, she won’t mention that either, having had too many regrets there to properly enjoy talking about it. If you ask her about her past then she’ll give you a cocky grin and tell you to figure it out on your own if you want to know about it so badly. Valeria may love you, but you really don’t need to know everything about her, some things are better swept under the rug.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Valeria may have become a somewhat more kind and patient person once she’s been with you for a while. She’s a businesswoman, so she knows how to deal with ne’er-do-wells. However, if you ask her to spare someone’s life, if you tell her to not be as mad at her people for messing up, then she might listen to you. You’d be the only reason some people are still alive at that point. Sometimes she’d remember what you said and might become a bit nicer. It doesn’t happen very often, she has a business to run, but it happens.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Valeria is a very jealous person. Someone talking to you for too long, you talking about someone in a more adoring tone than you should, someone being too friendly with you, it all pisses her off. Especially if that person makes you uncomfortable. She’ll get pissy and cranky, she’ll tell that dumb bastard to fuck off and leave you alone. She won’t claim you as hers in public, she won’t sling her arm around you or anything, but she will glare at anyone too close to you. Also not afraid of telling you how ticked off she actually is. Give her a lot of attention and she’ll calm down again.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Yes, Valeria is a very good kisser. Back when she was still single, women would actually flock to her just to feel her tender touch and kisses, that would leave anyone breathless. She knows what she’s doing and she does it so incredibly well, she’ll always leave you yearning for more of her. I think your first kiss was her pinning you against the wall and just going for it, after she made sure you liked her as well. She loves feeling like the bigger person and flustering you whenever she can.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It would be such an expensive, elaborate thing. You’ll be going to the most expensive restaurant, you’ll be going to see a musical or an opera and then she’ll buy you a nice gift. Basically anything to please you and court you in her own way. She has too much money anyway, so why not spend it on you when she can? Afterwards, ever so confident, she’ll tell you that she likes you in a romantic manner. While she may be a bit nervous about your reaction, she tries not to seem too anxious about it all. She can usually play it off well enough.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

On the one hand, she sort of does want to get married, on the other hand, she really doesn’t. Does she really want that sort of commitment to someone for the rest of her life? The thought scares her. Besides, she wants to keep you safe as well, so she can’t really afford to marry you as she is. Just being partners is enough for her, in all honesty. She leans towards not wanting to marry you, but her situation could change at any point in time and she might want to someday.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Cariño/a or querido/a, she really doesn’t like going for anything more fancy or romantic. She’s not a verbally affectionate person in the first place. And even then, she usually just calls you that when she’s drunk. She’s more affectionate when drunk anyway, but her Spaniglish is hard to understand for someone who doesn’t speak both languages.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

She tries courting you immediately as soon as she’s figured out she’s in love with you. Lots of gifts, tries to spend more time with you. Hell, she might just send you some money just because she can as well, especially if you need some. It’s not too obvious she’s in love, it only seems like she’s playing favorites, which she definitely is. She expresses her feelings by taking you on lots of coffee dates and just talking to you. If you’re very close then she’ll invite you to her home as well.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

She keeps your relationship a secret from the world. She’s a very dangerous woman, she could have anyone killed within days. However, she could, in turn, also be killed at any point in time. The same goes for you if anyone were to ever find out about the both of you. She really doesn’t brag about you, she doesn’t like PDA either and will actively advise you against being affectionate with her in public. All of that stuff stays behind closed doors.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

If you’re ever afraid to talk to someone, she’s got you. You want to change your order? You wanna make a new friend? You wanna compliment that stranger on their cool shirt? Valeria can easily do all of that and more for you. She talks to many people on the daily anyway, among them lots of strangers. She’s not afraid of talking to people, quite the opposite, she’s very good at talking to them. She may be blunt like barely anyone else, but she’s got a certain charm and charisma as well to her. If you’re on her good side, then chances are you’re settled for life.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

She’s not very romantic. Sure, she’ll cuddle with you on the couch when she has the time and watch a movie with you, but she won’t call you any embarrassing nicknames and dance in the rain with you. She’s far too practical for that. In fact, she doesn’t really like most romantic gestures in the first place. She’s not averse to them, but if she doesn’t have to hug you from behind then she won’t complain about it either. She loves you, don’t get me wrong, but she’s not a romantic at heart.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Valeria supports you, I can tell you that much. She has enough money to buy the world if she wanted to, so she can buy you just about anything you may want or need. You wanna learn how to drive? Here’s a Porsche. You wanna become a world renowned chef? Tell her what ingredients you need and they’ll be delivered to your door the next day. She may not have the most encouraging words for you, but she tries to help you in a way that doesn’t feel awkward to her either. She tries really hard for you, even if she may not always succeed at it.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

She doesn’t particularly need anything new all the time. Sure, sometimes she’d like to go to a new country with you, if she has the time, but she doesn’t get that urge very often. She really does prefer doing the same things with you over and over again when she can. However, that’s a rarity in and of itself since she’s not at home very often, so she doesn’t get to see you a lot either. That’s probably the reason why she prefers having a routine in the first place, she doesn’t always have one at work.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

She probably knows you very well. She’s a very observant woman, so she can tell when you’re upset, when you’re happy or when you need something from her, for example. However, she’s not an empathetic person at all. She really can’t feel what you’re feeling, but it doesn’t bother her either. Empathy would just get in her way at work, so she really prefers it that way. That way she can judge situations more objectively as well. She’s not a very emotional person, except when she’s angry.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

The relationship is pretty important to her, but I don’t think she’d want to give up her cartel for you. As mentioned before, she’s not a very romantic person. She values her status as El Sin Nombre a lot and wants to be respected by everyone. She worked hard to get where she wants to be and she really doesn’t wanna give all of that up. Sure, she values you more than many other people, but she won’t give up her job for you.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Every year she looks forward to going to a Christmas market with you. If it wasn’t for you, she wouldn’t celebrate that holiday in the first place, but she does like going to a Christmas market, taking in all the colors, drinking some hot beverages and maybe going on a ferris wheel with you as well. Even if you really don’t wanna go, she’ll drag you there at least once a year. Naturally, she’ll be the one to pay for everything, but she will feel a lot of sentiment if you pay for her this time around.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

She’s not a very affectionate person. She may praise you for a task well done, but she won’t be overly romantic with you. She sometimes likes kissing and cuddling, usually she doesn’t mind it, and sometimes she absolutely abhors any and all physical affection. Naturally, she’ll tell you how she feels that day. She much prefers to show her affections through spending time with you at a cafe and talking to you and giving you gifts over cuddling in bed all day. It’s truly rare for Valeria to initiate any sort of physical affection. Except when she’s drunk, she’s more inclined to cuddle then.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

She usually just calls you when she can, no need to beat around the bush too much. She doesn’t keep a picture of you on her out of fear of something happening to you, so her options are limited. Sometimes she thinks about the things she’d like to do with you once she finally gets back to you again. However, she’s usually too busy to miss you too much anyway. Tries to get back to you as soon as possible, though.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Valeria would kill and torture for you. She breaks the law on the regular anyway, but for you she’d break every law at once. If you’ve been together for a very long time, then she’ll take a literal bullet for you as well. It’s not often someone gets that sort of privilege, so you should feel really honored. She’d have some of her men killed just to make sure you get to smile again. You’re more important than them anyway. So yeah, Valeria would go to great lengths just to make you happy.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #I am not taking any more of these in their entirety and that's final #I'm gonna put my foot down this time #also ya boi passed their first theoretical exam today and I am very happy about that 🎉#now it's only the proper theoretical exam and the practical one as well and I'll finally have that driver's license!!#I got 100% and 92% today so I did really well too :3 #now I finally don't have to study as much anymore and can devote my time to other things such as writing #however I won't have time to write tomorrow since I'll be at my country house with my parents and we'll be grilling there!#there's so much I need to do these days: write for my blog. write a letter every day. journal #I do a lot of writing these days and it's kind of exhausting actually #but hey at least there's very little to do at work so I can usually do as I please there for now #however it's extremely boring as well unfortunately #well it's only for this month afterwards I'll be swarmed with work again #not sure if that's much better actually

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neallo · 5 months

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28 | she/they | follows from @blondiest

hi there! this is a compiled list of all my deathnote writing. this is a sideblog (i follow from @blondiest) and is also sometimes explicit. minors - please do not follow this blog or interact w/ explicit posts.

ships i write for in practice: mello/near, matt/mello/near, matt/halle

ships i write for in theory: matt/light, halle/naomi, halle/takada

below is a list of fics i have posted, separated by completion status. i also sometimes share excerpts/snippets of my writing, which can be found under the my writing tag; answered asks can be found under asks; original posts can be found under neallopost. i am not always that good at tagging things unfortunately :-) but i am. trying <3

complete:

hot soup on a cold day

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 5/5 | words: 15.6k | series [1/2]

“Roger,” Near says urgently, tapping the old man’s shoulder. “Roger, Mello needs another pillow.” Roger gives Near a questioning look, slight disapproval in his eyes “He’s not making me get him one,” Near clarifies. “Mello is asleep right now. He just doesn’t look comfortable, that’s all.” Roger looks like he’s about to protest, so Near adds— “And I have my mask, so I won’t get sick.” The headmaster sighs, pointing down the hallway towards the linen closet. Near retrieves the perfect pillow— not so old as to be sagging, but not so new as to be overly stiff. Once he props Mello’s head up better, gingerly moving the older boy’s head as he sleeps, he finds Roger again. “I think Mello’s room is too cold. Do you have a space heater I could use?” Roger massages his temples. “Ms. Peterson may have one in her classroom,” he replies / “Very well, I’ll ask her. Thank you, Roger.” The white-haired boy shuffles away, determined. He’s distantly aware that he's being a pest to Roger, but it's all in aid of a good cause. Mello is sick. Mello almost never gets sick, and Near is the expert on being sick, so Near is going to make sure Mello is as comfortable as possible.

hot tea on a cold night

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 800 | series [2/2]

Mello is half-asleep when it happens. He’s half-asleep, and he thinks Near is totally asleep, but then the younger boy wriggles in his arms, burrowing closer under the covers, and murmurs: “I love you.”

Minutes to Midnight (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

[part 2 of Time Together]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 3/3 | words: 14.8k

This is the only issue Near has with letting Mello do all their debriefings: it’s easy for Near to stare, undetected and uninterrupted, for a long, long time. In New York, he mitigates this by spreading out on the floor and surrounding himself with toys or cards or dice. Whatever he needs to do to occupy himself. When they’ve travelled for cases before – which isn’t common by any stretch of the imagination – Near has relied on the movements and sounds of their colleagues to pull his attention away instead. The squeak of Rester’s chair, the tapping of Gevanni’s polished shoe, the sound of Lidner shuffling through papers. He uses whatever he can to keep his eyes off Mello. Out of sight, out of mind. Right now, he’s out of luck.

it’s you and me, that’s my whole world

[part 1 of together (always)]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.5k

Once she reaches the first floor and steps out of the elevator, Near hears a voice floating down the hall. It’s a woman’s voice, so it must be Lidner, but the pitch of it and the cadence of speech seems painfully similar to the way Mello talked, even without being able to hear the actual words. The closer she gets, the more it sounds like her dead lover, and Near curses how cruel her mind’s tricks are. She has to grit her teeth and breathe in deep to get herself to push through the door into the main office, feeling almost nauseous with grief again already. A blonde woman in a red winter jacket stands with her back to Near, but she turns when the toy in Near’s hand clatters to the ground. Mello’s eyes are tired, underlined by dark circles, but she grins. “Hey, Near.”

i know i’m gonna lose you (but god, i don’t want to)

[part 2 of together (always)]

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.5k

Near’s bedroom— her tidy little suite in her untidy little makeshift headquarters in a high-rise hotel in Tokyo— is lit only by the shine of the city and the glow of the moon. Because the moon is full and because the city is bright, Mello can see her perfectly. Every little hair on her arms and legs catch the light as she sheds her soft, simple bra. The only thing Mello has taken off so far are her gloves. -- In which Mello rings in 2010 with some good old-fashioned lesbian sex and a minor emotional crisis. prequel to it's you and me, that's my whole world.

there's nothing i want but you

[part 1 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.5k

Though Near doesn’t really mind Mello’s tendency towards jealousy, he also doesn’t understand it. There’s no one in the world Near wants the way he wants Mello, no one who matters the way Mello does— he’s everything to Near. There’s no reason for him to feel jealous of anyone else. Near doesn’t get jealous of anyone else. Until, one day, he does.

nothing hurts like you do

[part 2 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.8k

Mello shoves him against the wall, his free hand moving from Near’s hair to the center of his chest as he holds the gun just inches from his forehead. He gives Near a once-over, quick, and at first Near thinks he hasn’t noticed anything amiss, but then an unkind smile unfurls on his face. “Hands up,” Mello says, grinning manically.

i want to hold you (hostage)

[part 3 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 21.7k

Rico asks, casual, what Mello will want next, what he’ll aim for after he gets the notebook, and suddenly it’s like the ground has dropped out from underneath him, because the first thing that comes to mind is Near. His stomach sinks as he tries to regain some semblance of composure, fighting off imaginings both tender and cruel, furious with himself for being so weak-minded. Near, he thinks forcefully, is in the past. He isn’t an option for what’s to come— and even if he was, Mello wouldn’t want him. (He wouldn’t.) (He wouldn’t.) (God. He can’t even convince himself anymore.)

my only one, my smoking gun

[part 1 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 3.3k

For as long as he can recall, he’s ached over Near. It wasn’t always like this, though; he didn’t realize he wanted Near until it was too late to actually have him. He should be grateful, really, because he’s been able to linger here after death, and that’s more than he deserves, but God, Mello would give anything to kiss him just once.

heaven is a place on earth with you

[part 2 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

There is no blood or body of Christ, no priest and no pews, but it’s here and now that Mello finally rediscovers a long-lost sliver of faith. Hands on Near’s hips, Mello lowers his face and presses his mouth to Near’s soft abdomen. “I love you,” he murmurs, head bowed and eyes shut as if in prayer.

replication in reverse

[part 3 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

Mello mumbles something into his neck, something to the effect of waiting until Near is ready for him to move, but Near only halfway registers it. Golden hair tickles his nose, and he pictures mitosis— prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase— then imagines cytokinesis in reverse. Two cells pushed together until, somehow, their membranes connect, two phospholipid bilayers self-arranging into one continuous structure, cytoplasms mingling. He swallows thickly and longs for something impossible.

starry eyes sparking up my darkest nights

[part 1 of you got your eyes from the stars]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 930

Near has a nightmare on the flight back to New York after the end of the Kira case; Mello, still tipsy off of the red wine they served in first class, is unexpectedly tender.

fireworks somewhere far away

[part 2 of you got your eyes from the stars]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2k

It’s the fourth of July. Or, rather, it’s still the fourth of July in the United States, which is where they live, but they’re in Madrid at the moment, so technically where they are it’s the fifth. It’s not hard math to figure out what time it is back home— it’s a little before six in the morning here, so it’ll be a little before midnight in New York. Somewhere on the West Coast or in the Rocky Mountains, though, there are fireworks going off. That’s what Near is thinking when Mello kisses her for the first time.

engaged

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

“So, like, I suddenly realized… Near is into me. Like, Near wants me.” He pauses as if to allow this to sink in, looking at Matt like this is still a groundbreaking revelation the second time around when it in fact was not even groundbreaking the first. Near’s crush has been obvious to literally everyone but Mello for the past ten years. “Yes. This surprised you. And also me, because I definitely did not know that Near was into you before you told me fifteen minutes ago.” Mello nods, satisfied, entirely missing Matt’s sarcasm, which might be for the best. “So, naturally, I slept with him.” “Naturally,” Matt says. Mello does not miss the sarcasm this time. “If you’re just going to be a judgmental bitch the whole time, I’m not going to explain it again. You should be smart enough to remember what I fucking said the first time anyway.” “No, yeah, I actually think most well-adjusted people would sleep with their sworn enemies the moment they find out they’re into them.” Matt smiles tightly. “It wasn’t the moment I found out,” Mello says petulantly. “I waited like, four hours.”

it’s friday, i’m in love

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.7k

Mello abandons a night out in favor of seeing (and holding and kissing and sleeping beside) Near.

early arrival

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.5k

It’s one in the morning and Near is wide awake, talking to Mello in hushed tones as the other passengers sleep soundly around them. According to the small screen on the back of the seat in front of him, they’re more than halfway through the flight, but it’s far from almost-over— it will be another three hours before they touch down in London.

Distraction (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.9k

The small pout Near offers in response would, under normal circumstances, result in the rapid undoing of Mello’s resolve. Worse still is that Near has begun writhing in his lap; not quite grinding on him, but shifting his weight in a way that’s troublesome nonetheless. Mello huffs. Near is fully aware of what he’s doing. He knows the effect he has on Mello. He’s teasing him. If that’s how this is going to be, then perhaps Mello will do a little teasing of his own.

wedding doves & leather gloves

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1k

“Don’t tell me,” Near says, derisive tone tainted by her words wavering. “You want to hear that I’m yours.” Exquisite pain blossoms across her scalp as Mello yanks on her hair. “Don’t be a fucking brat,” Mello hisses. “Answer me. What are you, Near?” “I’m a detective,” she replies flatly. “Just like you are.”

unknown caller

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.3k

“What are you wearing?” Near’s brow furrows in confusion. “What I always have worn.” “Mm. It’s summer, so— linen, right?” “Correct.” She wonders, then, if Mello asked the question to prompt Near to ask the same in return. Sometimes people do that. This is something she has learned since Mello left. “What are you wearing?” Near asks politely. “I am wearing,” Mello says, breathy, “black lace. It’s this— this fucking expensive set, you know— nice lingerie. I look good in it.” The description is extremely vague. Near does not know what nice lingerie looks like— she wears the same kind of cotton boyshort underwear every single day and a soft, thin bra. She also does not, honestly, know what Mello’s aim is in telling her this. It seems unlikely that she would call for the first time in five years to gloat about her finery, so there must be some kind of purpose to it, she just— “I’m touching myself,” Mello announces. Near drops the phone.

shot in the dark (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 8.2k

Mello’s posture changes, abrupt but liquid-smooth, shoulders squaring and spine straightening as he raises the gun until Near is staring down the barrel of it. Blood rushes in his ears, loud. Mello licks his lips. “Get up.”

something stronger than the drinks in the bar (matt/halle)

rating: M | category: F/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.3k

A former CIA agent and an exonerated felon walk into a hotel. There’s no punchline. They just fuck.

crying only because i’m happy

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 575

In which Mello lovingly overwhelms her good girl.

there’s an ache in you put there by the ache in me

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 975

The snow angels are, in all honesty, an excuse, a shameless attempt to get Near alone, to talk with him away from all these fucking people. He didn’t expect so many of their classmates to come back to Wammy’s for the holidays, but maybe he should have— after all, he hates this place, and yet here he is, half-drunk and dragging his ex-rival-turned-ex-something-else out into the cold.

works in progress:

there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 6/7 | words: 21.6k

“Ah, good morning,” Near says, and solely from the look on his face Mello knows he is missing some key fucking information. “I thought maybe you had left.” Mello shakes his head. He’s somewhat distracted by the fact that he still can’t tell if Near is naked; he’s shirtless, though, and that’s already ten times more of Near’s skin than Mello has ever seen before. Or, it’s more than he can recall seeing, anyways. And now Mello can’t stop staring at his chest. It’s so stupid, because Near is thin and scrawny and all pasty but Mello cannot tear his eyes away anyways— “So—” Mello’s voice fucking cracks as he finally manages to start speaking, a clear sign that some higher power is out to get him. He presses onwards anyways. “So, last night was…” He trails off, not even sure how he wants to finish the sentence, or if he wants to finish it at all. Near brings a pale hand to his hair and idly twirls a strand “Surprising,” Near completes the thought before glancing away. “But… not entirely unpleasant.” — In which Mello wakes up in Near’s bed after a night out and arrives at a wildly incorrect conclusion regarding the events that landed him there.

bury us both

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 5/? | words: 7.2k

Mello is demonstrably capable of killing, and has perhaps more reason to want Near dead than anyone else on the face of the earth. They were once rivals, and Near knows a fragment of that resentment lingers even now. She is also likely the only person who could successfully bring Mello to justice, so her very existence is a threat to Mello’s, in a sense. If that weren’t enough, there is the fact that Mello could make a fortune, too, were she to kill Near. There are no shortage of people who would pay a handsome sum to see L’s head on a platter. And it would be so simple for her to do it, so easy. She’s had countless opportunities— the two of them alone, Near in all kinds of vulnerable positions, any number of potentially deadly weapons within reach— but she’s never taken one. Despite having every possible motive and every possible chance, Mello has not killed her. On more than one occasion, she’s even protected Near. This is how she knows Mello loves her in her way, even if she has not said it aloud. Even if it isn’t enough to make her stay. -- Mello and Near through the years, in love and in agony.

what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

rating: M | category: F/F | chapters: 3/? | words: 6.3k

“Poor Near,” Mello says, stepping closer and pulling Near’s head back further, tilting her face up as Mello cages her against the wall. “How long have you liked me?” Near’s heart is kicking against her ribcage so hard it almost hurts, and her ears are burning with embarrassment. She squeezes her eyes shut, unable to hold the blonde’s gaze. “Mello, I...” she tries to speak, hoarse. “Has it been months?” Mello asks, her voice getting closer as Near feels her lean down. She braves a glimpse through her lashes and watches as Mello bends her head to brush her cheek against Near’s, putting her lips next to Near’s ear. “Years, maybe?” The older girl teases. Near finds it in herself to squeak out a “yes,” and almost jumps at Mello’s sharp intake of breath. “Years,” Mello marvels.

all’s fair in love and war (and this is both)

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 3/4 | words: 15.1k

Near has Mello under siege, dragging him into a battle of wits, strategy, and stealth, one that has him in a state of constant vigilance, ever-ready for an attack. With his dignity and his ego on the line, Mello throws himself head-first into psychological warfare against his longtime rival, trying any tactic he can to help him turn the tide in his favor. The game is as complex and mind-bending as four-dimensional chess, and Mello has to think twenty moves ahead just to keep up, but he’ll be damned before losing to Near at this. Or: Near accidentally gaslights Mello into being his boyfriend, and Mello does Olympic-level mental gymnastics in order to read Near’s actions as sinister.

an unusual proposal

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/? | words: 2k

“So,” Mello says. “What do you think?” Near scrutinizes his rival. Mello fidgets with the chain attached to his pants, seemingly anxious but still gravely serious. The proposal is… unconventional, to say the least, and logistically rather complicated— there are at least four-dozen things that could go wrong, and that’s just off the top of his head. It won’t be easy. His decision, though, is easy. He does not want Mello to die, and this, strange as it may be, seems like the best way to protect him. “Yes,” Near says. “I’ll do it.”

faded to oblivion

rating: E | category: F/M | chapters: 2/? | words: 3.6k

When Near phoned and asked to see him, he had a few vague guesses as to what she might need from him. This was not on the list.

#THIS TOOK ACTUAL AGES GHDFSGJSHDFDSF #new pinned post since i updated my other one and figured i should. have one for this blog specifically #will probs add a header someday #not rn tho #someday i will write for my theoretical ships :') they ARE in my “my writing” tag tho

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