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#this is the one take i’m 100% sure i’ve gotten right
chlorinecake · 7 months
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𝐉𝐎𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊 - a yjw oneshot 🕹️
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𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: a fun gaming session with your bsf leads to a night full of steamy shenanigans
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gamer!roommate!jungwon x reader
𝐜𝐰: swearing, kissing, teasing, hickeys, y/n gets her boobies fondled, oral (f. & m. receiving), mentions of other enhypen members
𝐰𝐜: 3k | not proofread, written quickly
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You sighed, “I wish more people in the world cared about Roblox… it saved my life, bro.”
“That was easily one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard you say.”
“What?”
“I said-”
“EVER! Wanna play COD Mobile instead?”
“Bruh, that game is so mid.”
You scoffed at his remark, bringing a flared hand to your chest. “I’m goated at COD mobile, averaging like 100 kills per match. People praise me for that.”
“Because it doesn’t take skill?” He made it sound like a question, when he was really making a statement.
“Mkay. I bet I’d still whoop your ass on console, but we don’t have to go there.”
A hint of ambition sparkled in his eyes at the challenge. “Oh yeah? And what are we betting here?”
“Hmm,” you thought for a moment, “If you win, I’ll fix you a victory snack.”
He nodded at the enticing offer, “And if you win? Which you won’t, but-”
“The bragging rights will be enough for me, but you could always fix the broken shower head in my bathroom so I can stop using yours,” you interrupted confidently.
Jungwon forgot all about how you broke your shower head last week. You told him it was an innocent mistake, but his mind obviously wandered to other places once you told him. By now though, he had already gotten used to sharing a bathroom with you, so he didn’t feel any urgency to repair it. Still and all, he understood how you might want your private space back. “Ok. Fair enough,” Jungwon agreed.
He handed you a controller, waiting for you to join him at the loading screen. Setting up your gear and choosing what weapon you wanted, the match eventually started. Needless to say, you didn’t stand a chance against Jungwon and his team of CPU’s, feeling sore from defeat.
A prideful smile waved over his features, showcasing his prominent dimples. “Sooo,” he began, “I would like your leftover Twix bar from the fridge cut up over two scoops of vanilla ice cream. Don’t forget the sprinkles.”
You pouted, handing him the overheating controller. “I’m not fixing you a damn thing. You probably cheated!”
His eyebrows raised, “First of all, cheating is for weenies. Second of all, a deals a deal!”
“Ugh, fine. I’m charging tips, by the way.”
“Not a chance, crook. Unless,” he caught your attention as you got up from the living room couch, “you wanna go for another round?”
“No, that’s alright. I think I'm gonna just watch you play the game for now. You could invite Heeseung, too, if you want.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be back, okay? I gotta use the bathroom real quick.”
Walking into the bathroom, you closed the door behind you, taking off the bra that had been killing your back for the past 12 hours. You didn’t know where else to put it, so you hid it under Jungwon’s bathroom cabinet before leaving.
“When do you ever wanna play games with me? Are you with Riki or something?” Heeseung asked from the headset.
“No, I’m with ____. She needs some testosterone in her life and wants to watch us play I guess.”
“I can think of a few ways to help her with that,” Jungwon could hear the smirk in Heeseung’s voice.
“Shut the fuck up and join me already.”
“What? It’s not like you’ll ever have the balls to make a move on her, anyway,” Heeseung chuckled. “How long have you know her for again?”
“Since the first day of college.”
“Damn, and you’ve barely even grazed first base.”
“She’s still sacrificing her free time to hang out with me, so I don’t see the loss here?”
“Look, buddy. Your rizz needs an upgrade. These cute little gaming nights you have every weekend needs an upgrade. Your wardrobe needs an upgra-”
“I get it, asshole.”
You came back with the snack he requested, eliciting a dramatic applause from your goofy ahh friend.
“Your majesty,” you bowed playfully, placing the bowl of ice cream on the desk in front of him.
You filled in the space next to him, resting an elbow on the arm of the sofa, your nipples now on full display through your thin shirt.
“Are you cold,” Jungwon asked, eyes not quite meeting yours. You meant to reply, but he was already reaching his hand out to grope your chest, using a thumb to smooth out your hardened buds with his warm touch. You eyes widened in shock.
“Woah- mmm, n-no, I’m okay” you stuttered, Jungwon smirking at how flustered you appeared.
What the actual fuck was that!?, you thought to yourself.
He went back to casually talking with Heeseung again as if he didn’t just rub your nipples…
You usually enjoyed watching Jungwon play the game, but now, you couldn’t take your eyes off of Jungwon’s pretty hands. The way his delicate thumbs maneuvered the joystick of the controller sent your mind into a daze.
“Hold up, Hee, I’m gonna put you on mute for a sec,” Jungwon said, handing you his controller before mouthing the words “play for me” with a catty smirk. He adjusted his headset over your head, bringing a finger up to your seal your lips. “Shhh,” he warned.
You knew Heeseung wasn’t actually on mute because there was an open mic symbol on the corner of the screen.
What’s he up to now?, you wondered.
Kneeling between your legs with greed, Jungwon’s fingers tiptoed to the waistband of your shorts. He paused before asking, “is this okay?," and you simply nodded in response. He smiled, tugging your shorts and underwear past your hips, knees, and ankles, stuffing them under the sofa.
He gawked at your wetness, your lips swollen with need. Heeseung started the match, and that’s when Jungwon started taking kitten nips at the sensitive flesh between your thighs, leaving a few marks. He blew at your heat before finally using his fingers to explore your folds.
“Cute,” he must’ve noticed the way your pussy pulsed in anticipation. Attaching his lips to your throbbing clit, he sucked it into his mouth, alternating with his fingers when breaking for air. He hummed at your taste, adding to the pleasurable sensations.
You tried focusing on the game for Jungwon’s sake, but you couldn’t resist the urge to reach for a handful of his hair and gently grind against his face.
“You’re doing so good for me, baby, just stay focused,” he said in between slurping at your wetness that never sounded so foul til now.
Did he just call me baby?
He inserted a finger into your tight hole and started pumping in and out of you, curling up to stimulate your g-spot. You were struggling to keep your moans in, rolling your eyes to the back of your head as he finger-fucked you. He looked up, noticing that you had fully abandoned the controller. “Keep playing or I won’t let you finish,” he purred.
“Fuck,” you panted quietly, how do you expect me to do that?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself, ____.”
You picked up the controller and started playing again. Heeseung was now swearing over the mic like a madman. “Bro, you’re really not helping out our stats here by letting the enemy clap your cheeks,” he scolded, but you weren’t really paying attention to his voice anyway. Jungwon dove back into your heat, licking rough stripes against your clit as he inserted a second finger. “Mngh,“ you mumbled dizzily, clenching around him.
“What?” Heeseung asked confused, having heard your noise.
You reached to mute the headset, but Jungwon gave you a look that told you not to test him. You gave in, and succeeded in holding back your whimpers, but your heavy breathing continued.
“Dude, I’m literally never playing the game with you agai- HOW THE FUCK DID I JUST GET DIED?”
One last thrust of Jungwon’s fingers, and you were finally coming undone, shaking from the intense wave of pleasure that washed over you. Slender fingers glided in and out of your needy hole, his knuckles adding to the delightful stretch. The match ended shortly after you came down from your high.
Jungwon licked his fingers clean of you and swapped the controller back. “Sorry about that, hyung. I was eating and didn’t wanna disturb you,” he lied, readjusted the headset on himself.
“Well, I hope it was worth it. Our team forfeited on some elite rewards.”
“You’re welcome,” he teased, which you didn’t know if it was meant for you or Heeseung, because he leaned in to kiss your lips softly, before going in for another match.
Still feeling your orgasm fresh in your viens, you reached under the couch to grab your shorts and underwear, putting them on and getting up from the sofa.
“Hey, what’s up,” Jungwon asked while taking a spoonful of the half-melted sundae into his mouth.
“I-I’m just gonna shower... and maybe go to bed after.”
“Alright. Me and Hee are gonna play one more match and I’ll be in after you. Don’t take long!”
"Dude, you’re abandoning me already? I thoughtyou were gonna help me take these punks to skill-ville," Heeseung whined over the mic.
"You need to immediately repent for saying that," Jungwon cringed.
You made your way to his bathroom with a change of clothes, closing the door behind you.
You entered the shower, trying to wash off the growing heat between your legs and any dirty thoughts associated with your roommate. A few minutes in, you also decided to wash your hair as it had been a week since that last time you did.
That’s when you heard the door open and close, followed by the sounds of clothes being removed and tossed on the bathroom floor. You peeked from the shower curtain, only to find a naked Jungwon standing right there. He didn’t notice you looking, so you pushed the shower curtain back.
“The shower is occupied at the moment, Wonie!”
“I know,” he smirked, entering the shower from the opposite end as if this was yet another casual ordeal.
“May I,” he asked, pointing to the spot you were standing at in the shower. “Oh, sure” you replied, trying not to make things awkward. He reached for the bottle of shampoo and started lathering the honey scented product in his hair and skin. You tried to avoid taking anymore peeks at his toned body so you busied yourself with a loofa and cleansed your skin for what felt a hundred times. By now, you sat idly in the corner of the shower, with bubbles waiting to be rinsed from your body. “Here,” Jungwon motioned for you to return to your original spot. “Thanks,” you said. “Would’ve been nice if you said that earlier,” he poked.
Oh shit.
“Here, let me help you,” he offered, rinsing off the soapy suds that painting your shoulders and back. Somehow, this gesture relaxed you. “Now turn around for me.” You faced him with a chest covered in bubbles. He quickly rinsed your breasts before lowering the shower head to your private, adjusting the water pressure from low to medium.
You could hardly stand up straight from the pressure building up at your center. The throbbing sensation between your legs travelled up to your quivering lips. You moved a hand to cover your mouth, hiding your lewd sounds. Jungwon didn’t mind though, because your squirming is what excited him the most. “Hold still, ____,” he teased, putting the water pressure on high.
Bracing your balance with his free arm, his soft lips met your damp neck, nibbling at the skin. The sensation was so sweet that you finally let your moans out. Developing a mind of its own, your hand reached down to stroke Jungwon’s hardness, a lustful look staining his features.
He groaned into your ear, making you feel more than half crazy. You felt your climax creeping up on you as it became harder to stand up or keep still. Starting to pump him faster, both of you were now on the verge of bussing.
A little voice in your head slapped you back into reality.
This has to stop! He’s my roommate!
You turned the water off from the faucet on the wall, retreating your hand from his member as if it tased you. Grabbing a towel from the curtain rod and covering yourself, you left Jungwon alone in the bathroom.
You went to your room and started to dry yourself off. You couldn’t quite wrap your head around what was happening but a part of you liked it and another part knew it was inappropriate.
You just touched Jungwon’s dick, and yes, it felt really fucking nice, but the thought will likely haunt you til the day you die. He was a good friend of yours, and you didn’t wanna let fleeting feelings ruin it.
You put on the scented lotion from your nightstand followed by your clothes before plopping in your bed. You didn’t bother locking your door because you never had you to worry about Jungwon intruding your privacy. Or at least, that was before today.
You buried yourself under the covers before a trail of footsteps made their way from the bathroom to your bedroom door.
Creak.
The door opened and closed.
Click.
He locked it.
Walking over to your bed, Jungwon sat behind you.
“I know you’re awake, so stop pretending,” he whispered in your ear.
Annoyed, you threw the covers off your head, giving him an exhausted look.
“What do you want, Jungwon? Huh?”
“I could always just show you,” he said, flashing you the sluttiest eyes you’ve ever seen on a man.
“You could’ve waited for me to finish up in the shower before barging in like that.”
“No, I really couldn’t.”
“We’re roommates, Won! Hell, we’re friends!”
“And? What does that have to do with anything?”
“You can’t just fondle my tits whenever you want to, or eat me out on the couch when you’re bored, or join me in the shower because you’re impatient.”
You let that sink in for a moment.
“Did you not like it when I did those things to you? Did you not like the way I made you feel,” he inquired, inching closer towards you on the bed. “Because the way I remember it, you never told me to stop.”
The room fell so quiet that your heartbeat sounded loud.
He reached over to grip your thigh, leaning in for a kiss before shoving his tongue past your lips, but you pulled away.
“Jungwon stop!” You reprimanded, turning your head from him.
He grabbed your chin and proceeded to kiss you.
“Jungwon, I said stop...”
“I can tell you didn’t mean it.”
He continued kissing you, shoving his hand into you panties and going straight to your pussy, sliding his digits up and down your moist folds, sending an ache through your stomach.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so wet for me.”
He called you baby. Again!
He didn’t waste any time to rub circles around your sensitive bud, causing your hips to jerk toward him.
“Stop it!” You raised your voice, pushing him away by his throat. Your hand never looked so small til now.
“Then make me.”
“What?”
“You know I don’t like repeating myself, ____.”
Darkness waved over both your features as you pressed his back flush against the bed, reaching for his drawstring and pulling his sweat pants down. He wasn’t wearing any boxers, so his pink tip sprung up, clear fluid leaking from the tip.
You grabbed his dick, giving it a firm stroke before grazing your teeth down his shaft, eliciting the prettiest whimper you’d ever heard from his mouth. The texture of his veins ran against your tongue as you took half of him into your mouth, using your hand to stimulate the base.
Your head bounced up and down as Jungwon grew dangerously desperate. Tapping your cheek, he guided you off of him to take a breath. Cradling your head in his grasp, he slid you back down until your lips reached his pelvis. “Hollow your cheeks for me, and breath through your nose,” he guided before using your head to please him. Your eyes began to water as his tip hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag a few times, but he ignored it.
“I’m so close, baby, just keep taking me,” he nearly begged, chest heaving as he screwed his eyes shut, “Be a good girl for me, mmm,” he grunted, picking up the pace.
You were getting used to being called “baby” by now.
“F-fuck,” he whimpered, bursting his load into your mouth. He lifted your head from his throbbing heat, using a thumb to wipe the cum that dribbled from the corner of your mouth. You went back down to taste his release, only for him to guide your head away.
“Don’t eat that, ____,” he giggled, but you swiped a finger to collect some of his cum anyway.
“It’s only fair, Wonie. Now we’ve both tasted each other.”
You went to the bathroom to wash your hands, coming back with a few tissues to help clean him up. Something about this dirty moment seemed so pure. So right.
“Okay, I’m going to bed for real this time, see you tomorrow,” you smiled, getting under your covers.
“You don’t expect me to go back to my room, do you,” he asked, giving you a look.
“Well, tonight, I’ll let it slide, but if you end up breaking your bed, don’t expect visitation privileges.”
“Thank you,” he let out a breath, smiling as he snuggled under the covers beside you.
“Jungwon?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think Heeseung has any idea about what we did?”
Ding.
Jungwon’s phone vibrated in his pocket:
Text Message from “Heenis” — Jake ditched me for a hoe 👍🥲 wanna call?
A mischievous smirk poked at the corners of Jungwon’s lips, “He can find out.”
“WONIE, IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER, I SWEAR YOU’RE SLEEPING IN YOUR OWN BED TONIGHT!”
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❁ if y’all can’t tell already, i am dangerously jungwon biased…
❁ anyways, thanks for reading “Joystick” by @chlorinecake! be sure to check out more works by me on my enhypen bookshelf!
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lnfours · 7 months
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doll | l.n
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summary: ‘i’m not even joking when i say i’ve fallen in love w the way you write lando you have me giggling every single time and i love it - i’m not sure if your requests are open rn, but cld i request a lando x reader enemies to lovers kinda vibe? honestly whatever you wanna go with is fine but i need need tooth rotting fluff rn so maybe he has a nickname for her that only he uses and there’s a lot of oblivious-ness from both of them over the fact that they like each other :’‘)’ - @mars-dreamworld
warnings: fluff, language, enemies to lovers, female!racer, just overall a whirlwind of emotions. strap in.
masterlist | ask box 💌
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
lando norris was absolutely, most definitely, 100% the most insufferable person you had ever met.
in the beginning of the year, mclaren had announced that you’d be joining the team as a third driver, and of course people men took it to social media to express how they felt women didn’t belong in the sport. that racing was a ‘real man’s’ sport.
and now you needed to prove them all wrong, prove you were worth your spot on the team. you know you didn’t have to, that it wouldn’t necessarily change people’s minds, but you worked hard to be here. countless sleepless nights, crashes, tunings, everything, was worth this moment.
and now it was your chance. oscar had ended up with an injury after a crash in one of the practice races over the weekend, ultimately giving you his spot until he was recovered.
you and lando hadn’t really gotten along. you had found yourself battling with him on the track, the two of you going head to head in the garage after practices. you had thought his ego and his sarcasm was unattractive, whereas he simply just saw you as a threat.
but, deep down, he had a soft spot for you that he kept buried under the fake hatred. he didn’t actually hate you, who could? he admired your hard work and dedication, but be couldn’t help but feel like you were trying to take his spot.
“what the fuck, norris?!” you yelled, throwing your helmet to the ground as you stormed over to him. he wore a smug look on his face that you would’ve found attractive if it weren’t for the fact that he felt the need to cut you off in turn 5.
“what?”
“are you thinking with your brain or your dick?!” you shoved his chest, but he didn’t move a muscle. he didn’t even budge, just looked down at you with those stupidly gorgeous green eyes.
“you’d know if i was thinking with my dick, doll.”
“don’t call me that.” you gave him a hard look and he put his hands up in fake surrender, shaking them like he was scared.
and that’s where it all started, that stupid fucking nickname. every time he said it, it made your blood boil, made you want to connect your knee with his crotch. now that he knew how to press your buttons, he wasn’t ever going to let you live.
right now, your face was red as your blood boiled, sitting in the drivers room as your leg bounced. the two of you had it out again today, the crew immediately separating the two of you and telling you both to knock it off.
the embarrassment from your crew telling you to quit acting like a child replayed in your head the rest of the day and as you sat in drivers room, and slowly your anger turned into sadness. you sucked in a shaky breath, trying to keep your composure, but you failed. the tear rolled down your cheek and you sniffled to yourself.
but of course, the door opened at the wrong time, causing you to wipe your cheeks quickly before looking at who decided to barge in. your eyes met lando’s green ones, which immediately softened upon looking at you.
“can i help you with something?”
he licked his lips, his brain going a mile a minute. why were you crying? was it because of him? fuck.
“i uhm,” he stammered over his words, letting out a breath before speaking, “are you crying?”
you shook your head, wiping your cheek on the shoulder of your race suit, “no.”
he knew better, though. the door closed behind him as he sat across from you, “you don’t have to lie, y/n.”
the way your name sounded rolling off his tongue with that stupid accent made your stomach do flips, but you refused to give in. this is what he wanted, right? pull you close enough to destroy you and prove to everyone that you’re actually not good enough to be here.
“why do you care?” you asked, an eyebrow raising, “it’s not like you actually give a fuck, so can you go somewhere else with your fake sympathy?”
he immediately got defensive, “what makes you think i don’t care about you? would i have run over to you the other day at practice when you crashed if i didn’t care about you?”
you thought back to last week, your car going into the barrier on the track. lando had seen the crash, immediately following the crew onto the track and ignoring the drop in his stomach. you had climbed out, shaken up but okay when he reached you. he grabbed onto your shoulders after you tugged your mask and helmet off, your eyes distant as he searched them.
“y/n?” his voice was laced with concern, “y/n, are you okay?”
you snapped out of it, meeting his eyes before you looked down at your body, “i think so…?”
he grabbed your face into his hands gently, turning your face side to side as he tried to examine you. the medics pulled up, rushing over to you.
“it’s okay, we’ve got it from here.” the female said to lando. he hesitated before he let go, letting them lead you over to the back of the ambulance to check you over. you looked back at him, the feeling of his hands on your cheeks lingering as they ushered you in.
you looked back at the brit, shrugging, “i dunno.”
he chuckled, but it wasn’t laced with humor, more like disappointment, “okay,”
“why would i think that when you’re always trying to prove that you’re better than me?”
he didn’t say anything, looking down at the tile floor, “because i’m threatened by you.”
you scoffed, “tell me something i don’t know.”
“no, you don’t get it,” he said, sitting up again, “i’m threatened by you because you’re good. you’re insanely good. you race well, you train hard, everyone here loves you, the fans. you’re an inspiration. something i’ve always wanted to be for someone.”
your attitude shifted, looking over at the boy across from you. he wore a sad, regretful face as he played with the zipper on his suit.
“you’re an inspiration, lando,” you said, “the little boy who dressed up like you the other day? the one who said he wanted to be just like you?”
he shrugged, “one boy compared to thousands of little girls who see themselves in you. i know i shouldn’t be upset, you’re literally changing history, but seeing it makes me wish i was someone like you.”
“you’re right, you’re not like me,” you said, moving to sit next to him, “you’re lando norris, the one who got P2 in your home grand prix a few weeks ago, the one who goes out of their way to say hi to literally all the fans and take pictures with them. you’re literally someone’s ray of sunshine.”
he smiled softly, letting you continue, “be like you. don’t be like me, lan.”
his head snapped up at the nickname, “did you just call me ‘lan’?”
a smile spread across his face and you let out a soft laugh, “i guess i did.”
he smiled back, “thank you, though. i needed that. and, i’m sorry for how i’ve been towards you.”
you waved him off, the smile still playing at your lips. you tried to bite it back with your lower lip tucked between your teeth. he swore his heart skipped a beat at the sight. you nodded your head softly, “we’re cool. just pipe down the ego a bit, yeah?”
he let out a chuckle. being this close to him made you realize there was a hint of blue in his green eyes, the short stubble growing back from where he had shaved his facial hair. he was undeniably pretty and you were getting wrapped up in him and distracted. he was doing the same, his eyes scanning over every single one of your facial features as he tried his hardest to memorize them.
you smiled softly, “why’re you looking at me like that?”
he smirked, “you mean the same way you’re looking at me?”
you blushed, turning away from him but his eyes were still locked onto you. you went to stand up, smiling softly at him as it was nearing the beginning of the next race.
“i’ll see you out there.”
he smiled, “see you out there, doll.”
you shook your head, letting out a soft laugh as you let the door close behind you, the nickname no longer making your blood boil but suddenly making your stomach do flips.
lando norris was going to be the death of you.
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sincerlyleclerc · 1 month
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ciao, amore
cl16 x reader
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part I
warnings: google translate, nothing else really just fluff
word count: ?
summary: maybe that summer fling from monaco wasn’t just a summer fling.
a/n: the ending to my last fic was so terrible so i hope this makes up for it, also this is part 2 of salvatore so enjoy 🤍🤍🤍🤍 click on the title for the song
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“bonjour? chérie?” the familiar voice that you missed and craved bringing a smile to your lips. “char?” you questioned if you should ask someone to pinch you to ensure that you weren’t dreaming and it was in fact him who was calling you right now. “hi,” you imagined a smile spreading across his face, his dimples deep and his eyes lighting up. “i’m sorry i haven’t texted or called until now, i’ve been busy with training” “no it’s fine, just worried me for a second” “what did you think i wasn’t going to call you? i could never do that,” a soft laugh followed after his words “tu es tout ce à quoi je pense” *you’re all i think about*
you and charles had called, facetimed, and texted nonstop over the next few weeks after that first phone call you got from him. he loved listening to you talk wether it was about your day or wether you were giving him a haul of things you had gotten when you were out shopping it don’t matter he just loved hearing your voice. he would talk to you about how his training was going and how excited he was to get back on the track for the new racing season. every friday night you would both take turns teaching each other how to cook a new meal on facetime, the lastest one was pesto pasta taught to you by charles.
“and then you drain the pasta and add the pesto with a little bit of water” he spoke, draining the pasta out into his sink before walking back over to the kitchen counter. “how much water like that much?” “un peu plus” *a little more* he looked up at the computer screen a good distance away to make sure it didn’t get any water or pesto on it. “bien?” your own eyes glancing up at him on the screen. “perfecto” he smiled, kissing his fingers like an old italian man. “thank you chef charles” a laugh leaving your lips “okay now wine” with a clap of his hands his voice trailed off as he walked out of the frame before coming back with a bottle of red wine in hand. you both pouring yourself a a glass of wine before he held it up to the screen. “cheers mon amour” *my love*
for valentine’s day he sent you a bouquet of 100 red and white roses with a note that read “roses almost as beautiful as you, from yours charles.” along side the roses he sent you chocolate covered strawberries and a stuffed bear wearing a red ferrari suit with the number 16 on the back.
“did you like it?” “i loved it charlie merci.” “i want to see you. come to the next race in monaco, i can pay for the flight and everything j’ai juste besoin de te voir” *i just need to see you* he bit at his bottom lip as he spoke into the phone that was held to his ear. it was dark but the lights around the track lit up the entire place, he was there checking it out with carlos and the rest of the drivers as they always did before every race. “charles are you sure i mean..” “yes im sure, please i must see you.”
he flew you out to monaco that same night, bought you the plane ticket without a single second thought in his mind. you arrived in monaco at four in the morning. he waited for you there at the airport. he wasn’t in the slightest bit tired all he could think about was holding you.
“mon amour” *my love* the moment he saw you his arms wrapped around you. his scent just as you had remembered it. he pulled his head back from your neck, a smile on his face before he placed a soft kiss to your lips. “tu m’as manqué” *i missed you* his hand came up to rub soft circles against your cheek, his dimples showing from his adoring smile, his eyes looking at you with a soft twinkle in them. “i missed you too cha”
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taglist: @m0cha-bunny @chonkybonky
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ohthewh0rror · 4 months
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I’VE DUG TWO GRAVES FOR US, MY DEAR.
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˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt — “Can I request Tom riddle x (fem!) reader angst? Basically, they have been trying for a long time to have children, but haven’t succeeded. So, to have an heir, Tom gets Bellatrix pregnant and obviously hasn’t told reader. Reader finds out shes pregnant and goes to tell Tom and show him the pregnancy test, but right outside his study she hears him ask Bellatrix „how is my heir doing? Is my child healthy?“ and reader drops the test in front of his study, where Tom finds it later, and leaves.”
Part 2
Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader
Word count: 3.6K
A/N: “but baaaabe, she doesn’t even mean anything to me” and for him he MEANS it, that’s the worst part. Oh god I’m going to be sick. I headcanon him as loyal and now he’s out here embarrassing me. Anyway, thank you to my best friend Madie for helping me choose the right ending for this and for proof-reading for me. To the requester: I didn’t take the suicide route bc that’s a very sensitive topic that I have personal ties to. But yeah, if anyone wants it I’m 100% down to write a part 2 to this.🖤🖤
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You felt wrong.
Well, not exactly you, just something felt wrong. You felt on edge, tense, like you were just waiting for the galleon to drop. There was no explanation for the way you were feeling, at least not one you could think of. But you couldn’t help but feel on edge, your mind racing as you resisted the urge to continuously look over your shoulder throughout the day.
You had hoped that the feeling would be gone by the end of the day, but as you sat with Tom having dinner the feeling was still there. You wanted to hide it from him, but you just knew he could see the slight shake of your hand as you poked mindlessly with your fork at the food in front of you. Though, either out of courtesy to you or him just not wanting to deal with it at the moment, he didn’t ask.
No, it wouldn’t be until the two of you had gotten into bed for the night that he would.
As you settled into bed, you felt Tom’s arm wrap around your waist, pulling you close. While you would normally welcome this, as it was rare that Tom would hold you in such a way, the unusual action added to your sense of unease. You felt his lips press a kiss just behind your ear before he asked, “there’s something bothering you, what is it?”
You didn’t know how to tell him, or if you even wanted to tell him. You didn’t want Tom to think negatively of you, to think you were officially losing it, but a part of you knew Tom wasn’t going to drop it. What Tom wanted, Tom got, one way or another. So, reluctantly, you told him.
“I’m not sure, I just don’t feel right, not in a sick way but—,” you paused, mentally kicking yourself for admitting it out loud, “I feel as if something bad is about to happen, something very bad.” Tom said nothing, but you could feel his hold on you tighten just a fraction. There was a few seconds of silence before Tom finally spoke again, “I see, I’m sure you are alright, you probably just need to rest.”
You know this was his way of comforting you, but it did nothing to help how you felt. You tried taking his words to heart though, and forced yourself to relax, attempting to get some sleep.
6:23 am.
You stared at the ticking hands of the clock on the wall, watching them dutifully count the time, hoping the dullness of it all would help you fall back asleep. It did nothing to help you, though, and instead just aided in helping your mind wander. You went through every possibility, until you were left with two options.
Tom was up to something… or you were pregnant. You didn’t want to think of the first option, it was a thought that left you upset even considering, but he had been distant for the past 4 months. He did not treat you any different, but he seemed… distracted. Where he once did not mind if you opened his letters for him, he now tightly guarded them. You tried asking him why, but he said it was to protect you if things went bad. He attempted to explain your worries away, saying he did not want you implicated in anything he was up to.
Not to mention he was out the house more— Death Eater business, he tells you. Always that. It almost made you angry how much time he spent working towards his grand scheme when all you wanted was just some of his time. At first you tried to push back on it, but soon realized it did nothing to sway him. Tom did what he wanted, regardless of the feelings of others.
Despite all this you refuse to accept Tom may be up to something behind your back. He was your husband, and he loved you, even if he did not express it often. So that left you with one conclusion: you’re pregnant.
It was a possibility that had been hanging in the back of your mind, but not one you wanted to genuinely entertain. After years of trying and it being false alarms have left you with nothing but negative feelings towards the process of finding out. You did not want to get your hopes up once again, as each negative was becoming more and more unbearable.
You couldn’t just rule it out without taking a test though, so you had no choice but to do so. Not wanting to go to a healer and have them check on you magically, you decided to instead go about it the muggle way. You had heard during your younger years, while at Hogwarts, that muggle women had measures of finding out on their own in the comfort of their own bathroom. So that’s what you set off to do, after getting dressed of course.
Entering muggle London, it was hard not to stick out. While you tried to dress as casual as you possibly could, you knew there was still something off about how you dressed. No one seemed to mind though, letting you walk through the busy streets without much more than a double take. It didn’t take long for you to find what looked like a small store, you hoped to Merlin that they had what you needed.
As you walked around the small shop, you realized what you were doing was beyond ridiculous. You were truly out of your league as you browsed the aisles looking for what you needed. You were beginning to get frustrated when you heard a feminine voice from the left, “excuse me, miss, can I help you find something?”
You paused, stopping midstep, turning your head to look at who was speaking to you.
The girl, who couldn’t have been any older than 19, seemed to be a shop attendant. She had on what you could only guess was typical muggle attire, and a vest with the name of the shop on it. You nodded, “yes, I need the test that will tell me if I’m pregnant or not.”
The shop girl gave you a look, and you began to worry more that you were sticking out far too much. “You mean a pregnancy test?” She asked. “Yes, that,” you replied, hoping she would just show you where it was and stop talking to you. Thankfully she seemed to have read your mind, gesturing you to follow her. She took you to the aisle furthest back in the store, pointing out the shelf that was filled with a dozen different options. You thanked her, and she left you alone with all the different tests.
Looking over them all you picked the one you thought would be best, but as you held the test you had a revelation, ‘I have no muggle money’. You froze, now weighing your options. You could leave and convert the money, coming back at a later time, or you could just…take it. Leaving was the morally correct choice, but just taking it was the more tempting one as it would save you the trouble of explaining to Tom why you needed muggle money if word got back to him.
So, looking around and making sure no eyes were on you, you silently cast a spell, hiding the box from any prying eyes. As you walked out the store you couldn’t believe what you had done. Stealing? From a muggle establishment? How scandalous! As you walked down the street you shook your head, banishing the thought from your mind. You didn’t have time to worry about the ethics of stealing from muggles. You needed to know if you were pregnant.
Thankfully, it was a little easier to find a place to use the restroom. You sat on the toilet, reading the box, and the instructions seemed easy enough. You followed them exactly before capping the test, holding it in a way where the results faced away from you. You didn’t want to see the results, too scared of it being negative once again. After what you considered an appropriate amount of time, you flipped the test over.
Positive.
‘It’s wrong, it has to be,’ you thought to yourself as you eyed the muggle pregnancy test. The test was wrong, it’s a defective muggle device. You’d make an appointment with the healer as soon as possible until you could confirm it for sure and you’d keep it a secret from Tom until then. You didn’t want to tell him, only for it to be a false positive and get his hopes up fruitlessly.
So, you wrapped the test tightly and tossed it in the bin. Washing your hands, you made your way out of the muggle establishment, and to an empty corner before apparating to the edge of yours and Tom’s property. You stood there for a moment, taking in the site of your shared home, wishing you had some calming draught on hand.
You knew as soon as Tom saw you he’d know something was wrong. Tom had always said you weren’t a very good liar, and you knew with the state you were in right now that if he tried to pry your secret would come tumbling out before you had the chance to stop it.
You couldn’t stand out here all day though, the November air was more than chilly, and you were going to freeze if you didn’t go in soon. You took a steadying breath and walked forward with your head held high, taking your time to get to the doors, attempting to look casual. You were halfway up the set of stone stairs leading up to the front doors, when they began to open. For a split second you felt yourself panic on the inside, thinking maybe it was Tom who came to greet you, until your house elf Poppy came into view.
“Welcome back, madam,” the little elf said, ushering you in.
“Hello, Poppy,” you said. You had never been happier to see a house elf in your life. As Poppy shut the doors behind you, and she ushered you to the dining room, she informed you that Tom had already left for the day, leaving you to have breakfast alone. Normally that would have left you disappointed, you and Tom made sure to always eat breakfast and dinner together, and this would be the first time in a long time that you ate alone. But, after the morning you had, you relished in the absence of conversation.
“Poppy, please make an appointment for me with a healer,” you asked, sitting down at the dining table. Poppy nodded wordlessly before leaving you to go make the appointment.
It was a week later that you found yourself sitting in a sterile room, awaiting the results. You wanted so desperately for it to be true. You’d never recover if you found out the test had lied. Tom still didn’t know about the possibility of your pregnancy, but then again, it wasn’t hard to hide it from him with how busy he’d been this past week. And seeing as your mind was preoccupied, you hadn’t pushed on what had him so busy.
Just as your mind began to drift from boy names, to more feminine names, the door to your right clicked open. The healer gave you a bright smile, greeting you. The forced politeness left a bad taste in your mouth as you just wished for the results so you could get home. You gave a tight-lipped smile back, and a similar greeting. The healer stopped in front of you, flipping one of the papers up, quickly reading its contents before looking at you once again.
“Well, Mrs. Riddle, it seems you certainly are pregnant!” He congratulates you, before explaining how far along you seem to be and that he needs you back in a month. You’re still in a daze when he hands you the paperwork, telling you your diagnosis and other information regarding your pregnancy. It feels too good to be true, and you’re not sure if you should laugh, cry, or do both as you leave the office.
You’re pregnant. You’re actually pregnant. You walk down a secluded alley, casting the muffliato charm as you buried your head in your hard, a soft cry erupting from you. You both had tried so hard for so long and it’s finally happening, you are finally having the child you both wanted. You let yourself cry from the overwhelming feeling of happiness for a moment longer before collecting yourself. You needed to tell Tom, you knew this was just the news he needed.
Tom was working from home today, something you had never been so happy about before today. It made the process of talking to him much easier than if he left to Merlin-knows-where to do what he needed. But, as you walked up those stairs to the hallway that his office was down you felt your heart plummet.
Tom was here, but so was another woman.
You quieted your steps, hoping to figure out who the woman was and what they were talking about. It was difficult as the door was mostly shut and they were talking in hushed tones. But, as you stepped off the stairs and into the hallway you recognized the voice of the woman immediately.
Bellatrix Lestrange.
A woman that you held more than just disdain for. She is the only female Death Eater Tom has recruited, and not only that, she was his second in command. While Tom didn’t see any of his Death Eaters as true equals, even you knew he seemed to favor her over the rest of them. Bellatrix seemed to revel in this fact, and despite being married herself, her loyalty seemed to lay more with your husband than her own. She did whatever Tom asked, no matter what it may be, without even a hint of resistance. You truly believe if Tom asked her to kill herself, she would do it without hesitation.
As you walked closer to the door they seemed to have stopped talking, but before you could knock and let yourself be known, you heard something that knocked the breath out of your lungs.
“You had a check-up last week, did you not? How is my heir?” Tom sounded casual, as if he was asking Bellatrix about the weather. His heir? His heir? Your mind was sent reeling as you began to hyperventilate. You quietly backed away from the door, walking as silently but also as quickly as you could away. But, as you turned to leave you nearly tripped over your own two feet, the papers you were holding falling to the ground. In your distress you left them, not being bothered to pick them up, as you caught yourself and hurried down the hallway intent on putting space between yourself and the cracked office door.
You found yourself in a guest room on the other side of the house, away from Tom and Bellatrix, away from the source of your heartbreak. You sit on the edge of the bed, and cast the muffliato charm for the second time today. After you cast the spell, you finally let yourself feel completely. Your heart shatters into tiny crystallized bits, the shards of it dig into every crevice of your sternum, leaving you clutching at your chest as it pierces your lungs and esophagus. Your chest and throat have an indescribable ache as a piercing wail leaves you, the pain of his betrayal leaving you feeling something beyond devastation.
The knowledge that he cheated on you was painful enough, but the fact that it was Bellatrix made it all the more painful. He knew how you felt toward their dynamic and his trust in her. It was as if he chose her on purpose, to tell her that Bellatrix is a more suitable partner for him.
How Bellatrix was everything she wasn’t: unwaveringly devoted to him, believed in his pureblood ideology, and stood by him on it. Bellatrix could also give him children, and she couldn’t.
Or so he thought. He didn’t know she was pregnant yet. Maybe that was for the best, you considered, as you sat in that empty room, fingers wringing together painfully as you tried to calm yourself. As you attempted to gather yourself, knocking on the door began to reverberate throughout the room, causing a panic inside you. You cleared your throat, and took in a breath, hoping to gather yourself before addressing who was on the other side. Lifting your wand you released the muffling charm, “come in.”
Your voice still wobbled as the words left you, leaving you mentally kicking yourself. The door opened, revealing Tom, on the other side. As he took in the sight of you, sniffling and teary-eyed, he walked in completely, softly shutting the door behind him. Looking at him sent a surge of anguish through you, a new wave of tears gathering in your eyes. The vision of Tom doubled as your lips began to wobble as you held back your tears. You were unable to see the look on Tom’s face as you looked away, trying to calm yourself once again, so you weren’t quite sure what he was thinking.
Getting on one knee before you, Tom placed his left hand on your knee as his right reached up, wiping at your tear streaked face. You let out a shuddering breath, finally looking at him. Tom’s face was the most expressive you’d ever seen it, if you hadn’t been in such a miserable state you would have taken a moment to admire it.
There was a look of genuine worry on his face as the both of you looked at each other. The silence was suffocating, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be the one to break it. There was nothing you wanted to say to him, you could hardly bear to look at him, much less talk to him.
“Why are you upset, darling? This is wonderful news” Tom sounded sympathetic in his attempt to comfort you. You let out a laugh in disbelief, you could not believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Wonderful news? In what world is this ‘wonderful news’?” You were close to yelling by the time you finished talking, feeling your sadness morph into something far uglier: anger. Tom at least had the decency to look taken aback, seeming to not expect the response he received.
Tom’s eyes searched yours for a moment before his expression became guarded, he gave your hand a squeeze before standing up, “it seems we are talking about two different things.”
You said nothing, there was nothing you could say that he hadn’t just deduced for himself, and it seemed he knew that too as he continued speaking.
“Y/N, you have to understand, I needed to ensure I had an heir and we hadn’t been successful in getting you pregnant,” Tom tried to explain. You’re sure in his head that this was logical, just the rational choice to get around your fertility issues. But to you, this was anything but the best next step. There was no reasoning good enough to make this okay; it will never be okay. This is a wound that may scar over, but will always ache when brushed against.
“You had an affair with a woman who I already voiced my concern about, without even consulting me on your decision, and expect me to understand?” You asked, incredulously. Tom, though looking mildly annoyed, still had the decency to also seem a touch guilty. “I didn’t step out of our marriage for pleasure or some sort of validation, you've always been the only one for me, it was merely to—” you decide to cut him off. “Produce an heir,” was all you said, finishing his sentence for him.
A heavy silence hung in the air, what you said leaving a palpable bitterness in the air. Tom still had the same touch of guilt in his eyes, but it wasn't enough. The guilt wasn’t strong enough to let him take full accountability for how wrong he was. Tom reached out, his hands cupping the back of your neck as his thumbs grazed your jawline, forcing you to look at him.
“It will be okay, I made a mistake by not telling you my plans, I apologize,” Tom may have sounded sincere, but it wasn’t good enough. Nothing will ever make up for what he has done to not only your relationship, but also to your trust in him. You reached up, and gently removed his hands from your face before standing up yourself, forcing him to take a few steps back.
“No, it’s not going to be okay; it will never be ‘okay’. You didn’t just make a mistake, you ruined our marriage, and for that, Tom, I hate you.”
And you left.
Leaving your husband to stand in that spare room, alone, with only his thoughts to keep him company.
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floralpascal · 4 months
Text
Taking Care of You
Summary: You've been stressed out and working like crazy lately. John finally has enough and devises a plan to take care of you and make you forget all about your work.
Pairing: John Price x f!reader (no use of y/n)
Word Count: 2.9k
Rating: Explicit (18+ only, minors do not interact)
Warnings: stressed reader, kissing, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected p-in-v sex (you know the drill, wrap it y'all), orgasm denial, praise
A/N: This one goes out to all my stressed and busy babes out there! This is 100% self indulgent since I've been working day and night recently. We all need us some Price to take that stress away
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You knew that you had been distant for a while. Work had been piling up on you, responsibilities pressing in from all sides. It seemed like all you did was work, work, work these days. 
Your husband, John Price, was as supportive as he always was. He, of all people, understood that sometimes you just had to put your head down and get work done. When he was home with you, he always made sure that you ate and stayed hydrated. He limited your caffeine intake. He made sure you took breaks. In all, he was the most supportive, understanding man on the planet. 
…which was why his reaction now was so surprising. 
You saw him approach the makeshift office that you had set up at your kitchen table from over your laptop screen. In a soft, even voice he ordered, “Close the computer, love.”
Continuing to type, you spared him a questioning glance as you shook your head. “I just took a break like… an hour ago.”
“Three,” he corrected. “It’s almost eleven at night.”
You whipped your head up to look at the clock that hung on the wall behind him. Sure enough, he was right. Dread spread through you, your brain already kicking into crisis mode. “Shit. God, I’ve got to get this done.”
“It’ll be there tomorrow,” he countered. “You’ve been workin’ like mad all weekend long. I’m not gonna let you run yourself into the ground. So. Shut. The. Laptop.”
He stressed each word, and suddenly you felt what it must’ve been like to have John as a Captain, calm but commanding. Your eyes met his, your mouth open to fight him on the matter, but you found him ready for it, a testing eyebrow raised. It was rare that he would ever tell you what to do, but it always came when he was worried about you and trying to take care of you. Any time you had gotten a significant injury, he had made sure that you stuck to every word of the doctor’s orders. 
You huffed and leaned back, already sensing defeat. Instead, you tried to plead with him, “John, I won’t be able to sleep unless I get this done. I’ll just keep thinking about it.”
He put one hand on the table, leaned toward you, and pushed the laptop closed with the other hand. With his face barely a breath from yours and his eyes darkening, he rumbled, “I can fix that.”
Your body reacted to his sultry insinuation immediately, your heart rate jumping in an instant. You couldn’t help but drop your gaze to his lips for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “And how’s that?”
“I’ll make it so that you can barely even think anymore. I’ll wear you out so much you’ll fall asleep without even a thought about this,” he said, tapping the closed lid of your laptop. 
At times like this, you hated how easy it was for him to get you riled up. He knew exactly how to play you, exactly how to make his gravelly voice even more enticing, exactly what to say to get you squirming in your seat for him like you were now. 
You pressed your lips together, thinking for a moment. You couldn’t pretend that you didn’t want this. You were so tired of all the work and John knew exactly how to play you. But if he was going to have some fun, then so were you. With a provocative flit to your voice, you challenged, “Then prove it, Captain.”
For a moment, all he did was let a sultry smile pull at his lips. Then he was on you, his hands guiding you up from your chair and his lips finding yours. It was all fire and passion, but yet not too rushed. No, John never rushed this early. He loved to work you up slowly and leave you begging for him to just touch you already. He followed that playbook now, walking you backwards to press you up against the wall, his hand guarding your head from hitting it. 
As he tilted your head to give his lips access to your neck, he rasped against your burning skin, “Never too stressed to tease me, are you?”
Your breath hitched as he found the sensitive part of your neck, your hands clawing at his back and tangling in his short hair. After a moment, he moved back up to kiss you, his tongue dancing with yours for a long while. 
Eventually, his hands on your hips guided you to walk with him towards your shared bedroom. You took turns pulling at the other’s clothes, leaving a trail haphazardly in your wake. By the time you both passed through the doorway, John was only in his boxers and you in your plain black bra and panties. As he laid you back onto the bed, he eyed you as hungrily as he did when you wore lingerie for him. 
“D’ya know how fuckin’ sexy you are, love?” His hands pressed against your stomach before roaming up, up, up as slowly as possible. Your eyes fluttered shut as he ghosted his hands over your bra, arching shamelessly into his touch. Still drinking the sight of you in, he rasped, “Gotta take care of you. Gotta make sure I get rid of all that stress, all those worries.”
“John…” you whined, already needy and falling for his plan. One side of his mustache raised in a smile, clearly understanding that he already had you right how he wanted you. “Just touch me, please.”
John chuckled, giving your breasts a quick squeeze before placing a kiss just over your heart. “I am touchin’ you, baby.”
“Fuck, John, you know what I mean.”
He pressed the faintest of kisses up your chest and to your neck. Against the skin of your neck, he teased, “Maybe I don’t. Tell me. Use your words, love.”
Despite his insistence, he gave you no time to answer. Instead, his lips found the sensitive column of your neck, the touch no longer feather-light like it had been before. Now, he kissed and nipped with a passion that had you gasping beneath him. 
“Hhm? I didn’t catch that. Gotta speak up,” he mumbled next to your ear, the heavy timber of it sending shivers down your spine. But you could feel the curve of his lips against your soft skin, his beard prickling you as he did. 
“Don’t be a tease,” you grumbled halfheartedly. Even now, though, you couldn’t resist him. Giving in, you begged, “God, just fuck me, John.”
He made a sound of appreciation, deep and reverberating, the kind you could feel in your own chest. Leaning up over you, his icy blue eyes came to meet yours. “Now, was that really that hard?”
You rolled your eyes, suppressing your own smile as you grabbed his neck and leaned up to give him a bruising kiss. Returning the heat immediately, he dropped the act for a moment. Lips moving in tandem with yours, urgency lacing every movement, you felt him get lost in it. Surely enough, as he adjusted over top of you, you felt his hard-on graze your lower stomach. You chased him, hooking a leg over his hip to roll your hips against him. He groaned into your mouth, eyes squeezed shut. 
“So impatient today,” John chided. He pulled away and sat up, his hands coming to unhook and discard your bra on the floor. As he went to do the same with your underwear, you breathed a sigh of relief thinking that the torture of his teasing was finally over. 
Settling between your thighs, a man in heaven, he brought his mouth close to where you needed him. However, at the last second, his breath dusting your sensitive skin, he turned and brought his lips to the inside of your thigh instead. He still couldn’t hide his smile when you groaned in frustration. 
You were in for a hell of a ride. When he got in a teasing mood like this, there was no stopping him. 
Beard and mustache picking deliciously against you, he kissed up one thigh. Then, when he almost reached your center again, your breath hitching, he switched to the other thigh. There were some days when he did this that it felt like heaven — days when you were already losing yourself to the feel of him before he even got going. While you tried to conjure up that more present, more patient version of yourself, it didn’t seem possible now. You needed him so badly it ached. 
When your fingers found their way into his hair and gave him a light tug in the direction you needed him, he finally let you have your way. He hooked your legs over his shoulders, a small chuckle shaking the broad plane of his back. As he lowered his head, his hooded eyes meeting yours, he purred, “If tha’s really what you want, love. Have it your way.”
With that, he finally brought his tongue to you. Ever so slowly, he licked into you, drawing a gasp from your chest. Sliding his hands up from your hips to hold the sides of your stomach, his tongue made a twin journey up to your clit. He flicked his tongue a few times, slowly testing you.
Though it was all too slow for your liking, he steadily built up the pace. The scrape of his beard. The flick of his tongue. The reverb of his moan as you tugged on his strands. It was a delicious cycle, speeding up each time through. 
You let your head tip back into the pillow as you finally felt that tension in your stomach — a coil winding tighter and tighter. Your breath was ragged now, your legs already bracing around John’s head. 
“Yes,” you panted, eyes squeezed shut. “Just like that. I’m so- I’m so clo-”
Right as you were about to crest that hill, John pulled away all at once. Your orgasm dissipated like a wave against the beach — there one moment and gone the next. 
You whipped your head up to look at him, disbelief and righteous fury in your eyes. You were met only with a hungry, conniving smirk from the infuriatingly sexy man between your thighs. In this moment, even with his beard and the signs of age on his face, he didn’t seem a day older than the first time you had seen this smirk. The John Price that smirked in triumph at you now was the same as the John Price who had done it for the first time nearly a decade earlier. Had you not just had euphoria ripped away from you, you probably would’ve been more sentimental about this revelation. 
“Jonathan Price, I swear to god-”
You were cut off by another one of his chuckles. He licked his lips slowly, making sure you watched as he tasted you. “Still too stressed, love. Don’t think you’re ready yet.”
“You teasing asshole,” you huffed, but the edge was lost to it. 
It only made him smirk even more. “Fine,” he acquiesced, leaning back down. “Let’s try this again.”
At the same time that his mouth found your clit again, one of his hands traveled down to slip a finger into your dripping entrance. A small moan escaped you at the new sensation. As he started to build you back up again, his mouth and finger moving in tandem, you couldn’t help but forget his past transgressions. All that mattered now was the buildup leading to the big drop, the wonder that John could work between your thighs. 
Suddenly, he slipped a second finger into you, drawing a surprised whine from your lips. “Ohh… oh, fuck…”
He groaned in approval, the vibrations of his mouth against you only upping the unbearable pleasure. 
You were there again, so close to the edge that you could practically see it. Your body tensed in anticipation of the drop like a rollercoaster. It was just-
John pulled away again, shattering the buildup to your orgasm for the second time.
You let out a pained hybrid of a groan and a whine. Now, rather than annoyance coursing its way through you, all you had was desperation. “Fuck! John, please!”
“Hmmm, there we go,” he mused. “Now we’re gettin’ somewhere.”
“Please let me come, baby,” you pleaded. “I need it so bad.”
Pushing himself up, your heart sunk at the thought that he might keep teasing you and leave you hanging. Though he was never, ever one to leave you wanting, you were too far out of it to think straight anymore. All you knew was that you needed him and he was holding that just out of reach. 
Instead, he climbed up to lean over you. With a gentle hand, he cradled your jaw, making you look at him. Your slick glistened on his chin and beard. His pupils were blown wide, the icy blue of them nearly lost to it. With how much self control he had, his eyes and the tent in his boxers were the only indications that he was as affected by this as you were. 
“D’ya think you’re ready for me, beautiful? Think you can take me?”
You nodded immediately, still breathless. “Need you so bad, baby. Please. I can take it.”
He searched your eyes for a moment before nodding. “That’s my girl.”
Finally, he stripped off his boxers, revealing his red, leaking cock. You couldn’t stop the small whine you made at the sight, your need for him overriding any coherent thought.
John pushed into you in one swift stroke, drawing your nails to scrape across his back. The stretch was delicious, tearing you apart and soothing the insatiable ache in your core at the same time.
“Feel so fuckin’ perfect. So fuckin’ perfect for me,” he praised. If the feeling of him seated inside you wasn’t already enough to set you ablaze, his praise was. It always was. 
His arms came to rest by either side of your head as he leaned down and stole a heated kiss from your lips. Then, he drew himself slowly out of you before sharply driving back into you again. Your body shook with the force of it, forcing you to break from his lips as you let out the most lewd moan of the night. 
But, of course, that was just the beginning. John continued like that, fucking you harder with every quick snap of his hips until the only sound in your bedroom was the slap of skin on skin and both of your grunts and moans of pleasure.
“This what you needed, baby?” John asked, voice gravelly and breathy. “You needed to get fucked this good?”
Your voice caught in your throat, a strangled sound coming out in place of an affirmation.
He sped up his pace, his cock hitting so deep within you that you had to squeeze your eyes shut. He groaned, “My good girl. Always workin’ so bloody hard. You deserve this — deserve to just let me take care of you.”
Your pussy clenched around him at his praise, drawing groans from you both. You clawed at his back, searching for some sort of tether in the tidal wave of pleasure you were trapped in now. For the third time tonight, you could see the salvation of your orgasm on the horizon. Having been denied it so many times, its immensity and force was almost alarming. 
Though you were too lost in John to think clearly, you were able to gasp out one plea. “Don’t stop! Baby, don’t- don’t stop!”
Rhythm growing sloppy, John assured, “Not gonna stop this time. Been so fuckin’ good for me. Come for me, love.”
That’s all it took to have you falling apart on his cock, the tension in your stomach snapping in an overwhelming flood of euphoria. Breath catching in your chest as you rode out the high, John continued to fuck you through it, murmuring deep praises all the while. 
Just as you were coming back down to earth, your body finally feeling like it was yours again, John was nearing his high. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He groaned, head lowered by your ear. With a few more sloppy thrusts, he was burying himself to the hilt in you, his warm cum coating your walls. You gasped at the feeling as he ground his hips into yours a little.
Still propped on his arms, he sagged down over you, his breath ragged like yours. You dragged a hand up from his shoulder blade and into his hair, letting your fingers card through the soft strands as John came back to you and pulled out. Then, he lifted up enough to meet your gaze again. He took you in for a moment before leaning down and giving you one last heated kiss. 
The two of you clearly spent, he leaned his forehead against yours after he broke away. He brought a large, calloused hand to brush against your cheek. 
“You’re so bloody gorgeous,” he mused. “I love you.”
You smiled, leaning into his touch. “I love you.”
“Feelin’ better?”
“So much better,” you answered. The stress and pressure you had felt for days was gone now, replaced only with the feeling of John. For the first time in a long time, you truly felt relaxed. 
“I told you I could fix it,” he said triumphantly, wiggling an eyebrow at you.
After taking a moment to clean you both up, John crawled back into bed and shifted to spoon you from behind. With his strong arm over your stomach and your legs intertwined, you let him envelop you. As sleep slowly pulled you under, the only thought on your mind was him.
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rebeccathenaturalist · 9 months
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An App Does Not a Master Naturalist Make
Originally posted on my website at https://rebeccalexa.com/app-not-master-naturalist/ - I had written this as an op-ed and sent it to WaPo, but they had no interest, so you get to read it here instead!
I have mixed feelings about Michael Coren’s April 25 Washington Post article, “These 4 free apps can help you identify every flower, plant and tree around you.” His ebullience at exploring some of the diverse ecological community around him made me grin, because I know exactly what it feels like. There’s nothing like that sense of wonder and belonging when you go outside and are surrounded by neighbors of many species, instead of a monotonous wall of green, and that is a big part of what led me to become a Master Naturalist.
When I moved from the Midwest to the Pacific Northwest in 2006, I felt lost because I didn’t recognize many of the animals or plants in my new home. So I set about systematically learning every species that crossed my path. Later, I began teaching community-level classes on nature identification to help other people learn skills and tools for exploring their local flora, fauna, and fungi.
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Threeleaf foamflower (Tiarella trifoliata)
Let me be clear: I love apps. I use Merlin routinely to identify unknown bird songs, and iNaturalist is my absolute favorite ID app, period. But these tools are not 100% flawless.
For one thing, they’re only as good as the data you provide them. iNaturalist’s algorithms, for example, rely on a combination of photos (visual data), date and time (seasonal data), and GPS coordinates (location data) to make initial identification suggestions. These algorithms sift through the 135-million-plus observations uploaded to date, finding observations that have similar visual, seasonal, and location data to yours.
There have been many times over the years where iNaturalist isn’t so sure. Take this photo of a rather nondescript clump of grass. Without seed heads to provide extra clues, the algorithms offer an unrelated assortment of species, with only one grass. I’ve gotten that “We’re not confident enough to make a recommendation” message countless times over my years of using the app, often suggesting species that are clearly not what I’m looking at in real life.
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Because iNaturalist usually offers up multiple options, you have to decide which one is the best fit. Sometimes it’s the first species listed, but sometimes it’s not. This becomes trickier if all the species that are suggested look alike. Tree-of-Heaven (Ailanthus altissima), smooth sumac (Rhus glabra) and eastern black walnut (Juglans nigra) all have pinnately compound, lanceolate leaves, and young plants of these three species can appear quite similar. If all you know how to do is point and click your phone’s camera, you aren’t going to be able to confidently choose which of the three plants is the right one.
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Coren correctly points out that both iNaturalist and Pl@ntNet do offer more information on suggested species—if people are willing to take the time to look. Too many assume ID apps will give an easy, instant answer. In watching my students use the app in person almost everyone just picks the first species in the list. It’s not until I demonstrate how to access the additional content for each species offered that anyone thinks to question the algorithms’ suggestions.
While iNaturalist is one of the tools I incorporate into my classes, I emphasize that apps in general are not to be used alone, but in conjunction with field guides, websites, and other resources. Nature identification, even on a casual level, requires critical thinking and observation skills if you want to make sure you’re correct. Coren’s assertion that you only need a few apps demonstrates a misunderstanding of a skill that takes time and practice to develop properly—and accurately.
Speaking of oversimplification, apps are not a Master Naturalist in your pocket, and that statement —while meant as a compliment–does a disservice to the thousands of Master Naturalists across the country. While the training curricula vary from state to state, they are generally based in learning how organisms interact within habitats and ecosystems, often drawing on a synthesis of biology, geology, hydrology, climatology, and other natural sciences. A Master Naturalist could tell you not only what species you’re looking at, but how it fits into this ecosystem, how its adaptations are different from a related species in another ecoregion, and so forth.
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Map showing Level III and IV ecoregions of Oregon, the basis of my training as an Oregon Master Naturalist.
In spite of my criticisms, I do think that Coren was absolutely onto something when he described the effects of using the apps. Seeing the landscape around you turn from a green background to a vibrant community of living beings makes going outside a more exciting, personal experience. I and my fellow nature nerds share an intense curiosity about the world around us. And that passion, more than any app or other tool, is fundamental to becoming a citizen naturalist, Master or otherwise.
Did you enjoy this post? Consider taking one of my online foraging and natural history classes or hiring me for a guided nature tour, checking out my other articles, or picking up a paperback or ebook I’ve written! You can even buy me a coffee here!
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mirrored-movements · 10 months
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Home Pt. 2
(Yandere!Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader)
Synopsis: You've always had the ability to travel through universes, there was never a reason as to why and you never paused to question it. However, there was someone else who began to question it.
Warnings: Obsessive behavior? Horrible writing probably <3
Part 1 Here
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“And you’re 100% sure you’re qualified to do all of this?” Finding yourself seated on a medical chair with the sleeve of your arm rolled up and a tension banned wrapped around your forearm, you stared at Miguel wearily.
Over the past few days, you’d been stuck with the man going through some tests in order to determine your ‘danger level’. Most of them unfortunately coming out inconclusive leading the man to declare that he needed a blood sample.
“How many times do I have to tell you- I am qualified.” Rolling his eyes with an exasperated sigh Miguel shook his head, one hand holding an alcohol wipe while the other readied a needle.
Rolling your own eyes in a mockery you let out a huff. “Qualified with what though? I’ve been stuck in your presence for almost a week now and I barely know anything about you. What happened to some small talk or something?”
His head shook from side to side once more, the man merely humming to signify he was somewhat listening all the while taking a quick blood sample. It wasn’t that he didn’t like you; you seemed like an outgoing person, and got along with most of the people that happen to stumble across you within the HQ.
It was just the fact that he didn’t know if you were an anomaly or not and didn’t want to risk getting attached nor risk the multiverse.
He couldn’t go through any of that again.
“Well, what exactly do you want to know? I might feel obliged to humour you.” Pulling away from your arms and passing you a small bandaid, Miguel twisted around to set the vial of blood into a centrifuge. His gaze flickered towards you from the side awaiting whatever your little mind might come up with.
As if not expecting this response you hesitated for a second, suddenly every question you had before left your brain and only one stupidly basic one remained. “What's your favorite colour?”
Blinking almost dumbfounded at the simple question he fully turned to face you, mind wondering why out of everything you could’ve asked that you asked that.
“I don’t have one.”
“What about favorite animal?”
“No.”
“Favorite season?”
“None.”
“Are you just going to say no to all my questions or are you going to answer one of them?” Finding that he wasn’t answering anything no matter how simple you crossed your arms with a disgruntled huff.
Seeing the way you grew annoyed with his replies Miguel's lips barely quirked up, one of his thick brows raising. “Well, are you going to ask any actual questions?” Retorting back with that he then rose up from his seat, eyes remaining fixed to where you sat.
“Ok fine, if you weren’t bitten by a spider how come you’re still a Spiderman?”
“I’m not answering that.” Taking the vial of blood from the small machine Miguel had to hide his amusement at the way you’d begun complaining. Your smaller form quickly jumping up from your seat to begin berating him trying to come to a conclusion to your own question.
“But you said-” “I said I might feel obliged.”
“So you were never going to answer in the first place?!” Gasping dramatically at the realization you laughed in disbelief at the sort of sneaky smirk that’d curled across the man's face.
Maybe there was a reason you’d gotten mixed up in all this multiverse madness.
--
“Lyla,” Calling out to his AI, Miguel awaited her appearance. The holographic image right away questioned him on what he needed. “Check in on (Y/N).” The command was simple to follow, and despite the small teasing from the AI a screen had popped up before her.
“Mm looks like she’s chatting with some people.” Musing that out Lyla bobbed her head, her small form flickering to the side as Miguel peered over at the screen. A part of him wondered who you’d found yourself talking with.
He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the sight of Ben leaning over a pillar dramatically, whatever being said presumably incoherent as yourself and the form of Peter both shared a look before bursting into laughter.
His chest rumbled.
“Lyla, assign those two to a mission.”
Looking over at the man with a brow raised she made a pop noise with her lips. “There are no missions curr-” “Make something then. Tell them to investigate something or someone or just- do something.” His hand waved through the air as he spoke, “And tell (Y/N) to come here.”
“Roger that.”
Watching the small hologram fade away he let out a breath, tongue running across the elongated canines within his mouth before another huff left him. Heavy steps bringing him back over towards the microscope he’d been occupied with for the past few hours.
Eyes peaking through it once more at the sample that rested below, watching the small cells dance around. The genetic makeup of them seemingly assimilating with the atmosphere around them, matching with the structure of those from that universe.
It was a breakthrough in his opinion.
A serendipitous breakthrough.
--
“Damn room is always so damn dark.” Stepping into the room that housed Miguel's strange floating office you grumbled under your breath about the lack of light, eyes struggling to adjust to it. “You know ambient lighting is a thing.”
“The light hurts my eyes.”
Practically jumping out of your skin at the sudden appearance of the hulking man you let out a forced laugh. “Does that have to do with your spider bite-less Spiderman abilities or something?” 
“It does actually.” Without skipping a beat Miguel clicked his tongue, gaze drifting across the plain look stretched out across your face at the response, it looked like you hadn’t expected it either.
“Oh, ok thats, thats something I guess.” Clasping your hands together you nodded your head, praying that your face gave off the ‘what did you call me here for’ look.
To be honest, you didn’t mind Miguel. He was very intimidating upon your first meeting however it seemed like as the testing progressed and you were stuck with him for a while he seemed to loosen up. As much as he could at least, there were still some things that freaked you out a bit.
Such as the way he could just appear out of nowhere and scare the literal soul of of you as well as his temper. You’ve only seen it once since being at HQ, it was short but nearly ingrained into your brain as in that moment you’d come to find that perhaps he was more spider like- then the spider-people.
Fangs. He had fangs is what you meant, and claws- you think.
“You shouldn’t socialize too much with everyone here. They might question why a civilian is here.” Chiding that in absentmindedly he outstretched one of his arms towards the floating platform, a practically glowing web being shot from a device around his wrist allowing him to gain access to it.
Blinking at what he’d said then what he did you opened your mouth to speak only to shut it right after as that same glowing web shot down attaching to the front of your shirt. With a short yell in surprise, you were whisked onto the platform, Miguel's hands planting onto your shoulder to steady you as soon as you’d landed.
“A little warning would’ve been nice.”
“I’m going to swing you onto the platform.”
Giving him an ‘Are you serious’ look you’d dropped it rather quickly. He seemed different compared to when the last time you both chatted. More…willing to speak and joke around with you if that makes sense.
Before he seemed to keep you at arms reach but now it felt like he was trying to make up for lost time.
“Ok well we’re on the platform now, what did you want to show me? Or why did you need me.” Somewhat growing anxious with the sudden silence you watched him press a few things against a glowing orange keyboard, a pair of large circles popping up. 
“Do you know what these are?”
Starring at the two things your brows furrowed. “I don’t know a cow pattern?”
“This one,” He pointed towards the one on the right, “Is from your average day civilian. This one,” the other one was pointed to. “Is from you. Notice any difference?”
“Yes?” He gave you an incredulous look and you corrected your response. “No, I don’t.”
“Exactly. From this, we know you’re not an anomaly.”
Perking up at this you stared at him in disbelief, heart beginning to race a little at the prospect of being allowed to leave. “So does that mean I can go home now? That we’re done testing?”
He didn’t quite like that implication.
“You are home.” Seeing the way your hands fell back to your sides he added on as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “This is the average citizen from here, Earth-928 and, your genetic code- this here,” He motioned back towards your circle. “Matches here.”
“Whatever home you had is here now. You belong here, it is set in stone.” There was no way he was going to mention how your code blends in with whatever universe you found yourself in.
Why go somewhere else, when you could stay there?
Blinking while trying to process what he was saying you began to shake your head in disbelief. “Well, your data is wrong then. I wasn’t born here, so I can’t stay here.” Stepping back you shook your head at him, mind still trying to wrap around this. “You said I’m not an anomaly so I can just continue to do what I was doing before coming here.”
“But what if you leave here and then become an anomaly? What happens then? It is proven that breaking what is meant to happen ruins worlds.”
“Now you’re just trying to psyche me out. I know I don’t belong here Miguel, whatever tests you did are wrong.”
Clicking his tongue he watched you carefully, eyes sharp, almost predatory now compared to how you recalled them being. However, he raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, you can go.”
“But do you even know where home is?”
Your mind paused at this, unwilling to quite process what he’d said. You’d been traveling around for so long- did you remember where you lived? Was there ever actually a place you called home or was that something you made up in a sort of last-ditch effort to seek self-comfort?
But, despite all that- you surely weren’t going to be stuck in one place. That’s not how you did things.
“I’m sure I can manage.” Choosing your words carefully noting how Miguel had become ridged you felt as though it was in your best interest to open a portal. “It was nice to meet you, Miguel.”
“You get lonely traveling around.” Once more he spoke, hand leaning out to press a key on the keyboard, your voice playing through some speakers of a conversation you’d had with Peter on one of a few occasions. Maydays father becoming some sort of comforting face you found yourself returning to for advice- despite his advice being close to unusable. “Never fitting in. People alienating you. Seems like you’ve had more fun and made more friends here than, say the hundreds of dimensions you’ve been to.”
“Am I correct?”
“Why are you suddenly so interested in everything? You weren’t like this the first time I came here.”
“I didn’t know if you were going to be stable here. But now I do.” Whatever was running through his mind left him letting out another breath. “And I know where you belong now. All this time, all these portals- led you here.”
“To me.”
Stunned. Shocked. Confused. Speechless.
Those were only a few words you could use to describe how you were currently feeling. Just an overall ‘What?’ could sum up everything. 
“Miguel,” Raising a hand as though you were trying to tame some sort of wild animal you sucked in a breath. “I barely know you. You barely know me. We barely know each other.”
Taking a step the man hummed nodding along, something you previously took as a friendly manner now seemingly less friendly and more of a way to keep him from lashing out. “Then we get to know each other. It’s not too late.”
“It’s never too late.” Despite his tone sounding hopeful, the look he gave sent your nerves buzzing, a hidden challenge almost. Cocoa hues flickering a ruby hue the longer you seemed to remain silent- say something.
Seeing that you weren’t answering Miguel glanced up at the ceiling, the last bit of his patience wearing thin- not that it was very big, to begin with. “I’ll give you a head start,” A step forward from him was a step back for you, the airy laughs leaving him sounding hollow. “You can go anywhere you want, any dimension. But if you can’t find where your ‘home’ is by the end of the day?”
“I’ll come and get you. And bring you home.”
----------------
<Unedited again>
Casually wrote the three things on my account in one day <3 anyways if you have any issues with my writing or anything, sue me IG idk.
Anyways lemme know if you want a part 3- I might feel inclined to write more for my lovely lovely Miguel <3
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eyesofshinigami · 1 month
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It Takes Time
Rating: G
CW: None
Tags: Established relationship, implied pre- S4 relationship, minor talk of injuries, tiny bit of angst, boys being soft
Prompt: For @shares-a-vest "Love is about healing each other's wounds"
WC: 1116
Written for @steddielovemonth Day 16
Even amongst the many horrible encounters with the Upside Down Steve has had, this last one was probably the worst. Steve had done everything he could to keep Eddie out of his mess, the one thing that he could never be honest with his boyfriend about, and yet Eddie had still gotten dragged in somehow.
And almost died for it.
Steve still can’t believe that it’s over. It’s finally over. Sure, his nightmares are even worse, having held the person he loved bleeding out in his arms, but they made it. They lived. They got Eddie to the hospital and after surgeries, a medical coma, and a laundry list of therapy appointments for both of them, they finally made it home. 
Home is now the little house on First Street. It’s not much to look at, but it’s theirs. 
Kind of like them, really.
Steve is the one that brings Eddie to the house once he’s released from the hospital. He told the kids that they could come by in a couple of days, after they’ve settled in and had a chance to collect themselves. Wayne had brought over a few things right before, and he told them he'd be back in a few days as well to check on them, just a phone call away if they needed him. It was enough to make Steve tear up.
“Come on, baby, we’re here,” he says, leaning over to kiss Eddie on the cheek. His boyfriend had fallen asleep on the drive over. Steve couldn’t blame him; he could feel tiredness settling into his own bones. He’s not 100% either, but Steve won’t be able to rest until he knows Eddie is comfortable, taken care of. 
Eddie stirs and blinks his eyes, smiling when he realizes where they are. “Home?” he asks. He hasn’t gotten to see it yet, but he’s heard Steve talk about it enough. At Steve’s nod, Eddie grabs his hand and holds it for a minute. “Ours. Fuck, I can’t believe it.”
Steve smiles back. “Yup. Let’s get inside. I can show you around after we take a shower and get settled, okay?” Eddie lets out a hum of agreement and opens the car door.
They make it inside, slowly and carefully, Eddie’s eyes wide as he takes it in. Wayne and the Hopper-Byers had pitched in to give them the bare bones to start with, like a couch and a table with chairs. The only thing Steve had been adamant about getting himself was the bed, a brand new queen that they could share. When Eddie sees it, he lets out a little choked noise. “We have a bed. Our bed. It’s ours.” 
“I made sure of it, baby.”
“Can we lay down together? I can’t wait to try it out.” Eddie reaches out and runs his hand along the comforter, a soft blue to go with the dark gray sheets Steve had picked out. “I know we’re not up for anything naughty, but… it would be good to lay down with you.”
Steve can’t help but kiss him. “After our shower. I have to change your bandages, too.”
Eddie squints at him. “And yours too.” Steve goes to protest, but Eddie shakes his head and crosses his arms. “Nope, you’re not getting out of it.” He wraps his arms around Steve and pulls him close, and Steve can’t help but notice how their scars mirror each other. “If you’re going to take care of me, I’m going to take care of you, okay? We’re in this together, isn’t that what you said?”
Steve nods. He remembers the way his heart jumped into his throat when Dustin and Max came scrambling into Family Video yelling about Eddie. He remembers how he wrapped Eddie up in his arms and kissed him softly, not caring who saw, after Eddie dropped the bottle when he realized that Steve had come for him. “We’re in this together, baby. I’ve got you,” he’d said.
“It is. You got me, Eds.”
Eddie smirks at him, giving him one more kiss before he pulls Steve into the ensuite. It’s pretty tiny, barely enough room for two nearly grown men, but they make it work. They strip down and climb into the shower. Normally, they would fool around a little bit, but they’re both so tired and worn down and still healing. There will be plenty of time for shower sex later, when they’re both not quite so broken and rundown. Instead, they take turns washing each other, careful of still healing wounds and old hurts alike. Steve handles Eddie like he’s made of glass, something precious he’s worried about breaking under his hands. In turn, Eddie takes his time and works the knots out of Steve’s back, days and weeks of worry built up in his muscles. 
It feels like the first time Steve has been able to breathe in years. 
Once they’ve dried off and both put on sweatpants, Steve pulls out the first aid kit that he’d bought right after he had started getting the house together. Eddie raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything, instead they both quietly get to work.
It shouldn’t feel like second nature, patching each other up. They take turns tending hurts and rubbing creams into healing wounds, bandaging each other up as they go. There’s something that’s macabre and intimate about it, Steve thinks. 
“I’m sorry.”
Eddie looks up from where he’s wrapping another bandage around Steve’s torso. “What for, sweetheart?”
His vision gets a little blurry, the wall of emotion hitting him. “That this happened to you. That you got hurt, that all of my…” the word bullshit clogs in his throat. “All of this made you hurt. You got hurt because of-”
“Don’t even, Steve. You didn’t do this to me.” Eddie cups Steve’s face so that Steve has to look at him, even with tears streaming down his face. “I just wish I could have helped you sooner, sweetheart. With Starcourt. With the junkyard. All those things you felt like you had to hide from me-”
“To protect you. To keep you safe.” Because you matter. Because I love you. Because you were the port in the storm of all these terrible things that kept happening to me. 
“And you did, even at the end when you dragged me into that hospital out of the jaws of death. Baby, I wouldn’t even be here without you. But I’m here. We’re here.” 
“We’re here,” Steve repeats, leaning close to press their foreheads together. 
Even scarred as they are, they will heal from this. It’ll take time, and hopefully it’s the end for real this time, but Steve’s not alone.
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winterrrnight · 5 days
Text
heartless
PAIRING: rafe cameron x dark!fem!pogue!reader
SUMMARY: rafe finds out you've been dating him only for the money.
WARNINGS: dark content! dark!reader, naive!rafe, reader is a liar, a manipulator, dishonest, two faced, takes a big advantage of rafe, usage of guns, threatening, poor rafe is oblivious to it all (he's just blinded by one sided love), minimal swearing, minimal usage of nicknames, alcohol consumption, reader lowkey believes in toxic masculinity, rafe is kinda a crybaby, it's also longer than my usual stuff + please let me know if I missed something!
EDITH SPEAKS: my second ever dark!fic! just like before, dark!content is something I've just gotten into, so this clearly isn't the best dark stuff you've read, but I promise I put in a 100% effort. please please heed all the warnings and make sure you proceed only if you are comfortable with each and every single one of them! if you liked reading this, please reblog and please please let me know what you think of this! 🌩️
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somewhere far along this road he lost his soul to a woman so heartless
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
You enter Tannyhill, a huge smile on your face as your fingers remain hooked through the expensive branded gift bags, the black credit card of your near and dear boyfriend in the back pocket of your pants.
“Baby I’m home!” You say out loud as you enter, keeping the humongous amount of gift bags in your hand on the couch of the living room. You hear footsteps echo as they transcend down the stairs, and you turn around to see Rafe making his way to you.
“Hi baby,” he smiles as he wraps his arms around your waist and presses a kiss to your lips. “What did you get?”
You gesture your head to the couch and Rafe sees the enormous amount of bags on the couch. He knows you like to shop, and he never refuses to buy you anything because he believes you deserve it so much; never ever denying you when you approach him with a puppy dog look on your face asking for a shopping trip, which basically melts him into a puddle.
He always accompanies you to your shopping trips, his arm slinging around your shoulders as you both hit store after store in the mall, buying whatever you ask for, and he doesn’t think twice before swiping his card in the machine. He knows you haven’t lived in the best financial conditions as you grew up; that’s what it meant if you lived on The Cut. When you got together, he was more than determined to always give you gifts, his way of covering up all the things he believed you deserved to have but never had a chance to own.
But today, you suddenly had a need to hit the mall again when you had been there not even a week ago, and you had already bought a lot. But Rafe isn’t one to say no to you; how can he say no to your cute face? So you are sent off with a driver with his credit card given safely to you as he himself is busy with some business work.
And right now, here you are with the biggest number of handbags he’s ever seen you with. His eyebrows furrow in the slightest as he looks at how the couch is completely covered with the gift bags from exorbitant stores; the bags themselves cost a lot on their own.
“What happened baby?” You ask as you see him eyeing the couch. He turns to you and lets a smile spread on his face as he gives a peck to your forehead.
“Nothin’ baby,” he says softly. “Did you have fun at your little shopping spree?” Little? Hell nah.
“Yes it was absolutely wonderful,” you smile.
“Good good,” he mutters, smiling a little.
“Oh I’ve got brunch date at the country club with my girls today,” you say, pulling away from him, his arms now falling back to his sides. “Are you done with your work?”
“No,” he sighs. “I have to head to the office in a bit,”
“Oh,” you sigh, a pout on your face. “Such a shame… ’cause I was wondering you could come too,”
He smiles softly, gently moving to caress your cheek with his thumb. “It’s okay baby, you have fun with your girlfriends yeah? You and me can go some other time,”
You just nod at his reply and tell him how you absolutely can’t go to the country club in the same outfit you wore in the mall, and you need to have a wardrobe change. He watches you make your way to the couch and pick two out of the numerous handbags and make your way up the stairs. As you walk, he can see his credit card peeking out of your back pocket. He opens his mouth to ask for it, but then shuts it back realizing you’ll need it at your brunch with the girls.
He just lets out a small sigh before busying himself with more of his work for the business.
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
Rafe rubs his eyes as he leans his head back against the cushioned back of his chair, letting out a groan of complete exhaustion. His eyes flick to the digital clock sitting on his table, the numbers 12.53 am flashing back at him. He blinks his eyes multiple times before focusing back to his laptop screen, left with just the end of the work.
As he gets himself back into the working mindset, a little notification pops at the right bottom corner of his screen. Narrowing his eyes, he reads the notification.
As his eyes run over the words, they widen more and more with each passing second.
Your credit card has been declined. Unfortunately we haven’t been able to process your payment.
Right before his eyes, the same notification appears two times more, flashing momentarily at the corner before it disappears itself.
It disappears itself from the screen, but not from his mind. The little notification with its white background and dark blue text remains ingrained in his brain, and it’s as if that’s the only image he’s only ever known.
He quickly gets his phone and opens up the texts between you and him, the last one being him asking you if you’ve reached the country club safely and you replying back with a simple ‘yes’. He hasn’t had any time to go back home as he’s been stuck in his office since the afternoon.
All you said was you were going to have brunch with your girls, so that’s when the credit card should’ve been used. But why is he getting notifications about his card being declined at 1 in the morning?
The notifications are quiet shady, because they don’t reveal where the transaction is being made and is failing, it just tells him the credit card is declined.
He logs into the credit card company’s portal on his laptop, and looks around to find what balance is left in his card. And there he sees it.
The balance is negative.
And not any small number, a big one at that.
-$1000 is written on his screen in a bright, red font, that number being the only thing that can attract his attention throughout the entire mundane black webpage.
Rafe stares at the screen in disbelief – clearly you’re out there somewhere with his card and you’ve overpaid, and now transactions aren’t taking place.
Despite having a little too much money in his card, he never expected for you to ever overpay. He knew it was a huge privilege for you to have so much of something you never before had in your life, but he never expected you to be reckless…
He shakes his head, getting the thought out of his head. No, it’s just some kind of mistake, he thinks, and as if right on cue, his phone rings. He sees that it’s in fact you calling him. He quickly swipes his thumb across the screen, accepting the call.
“Rafeeee,” you whine on the other side, and Rafe realizes you’re drunk out of your mind.
“Baby, where are you?” He asks, his brows furrowed as he anticipates your reply.
“Your card isn’t working anymore,” you slur. “Come on, I just needed some stuff!”
“Where are you?” He asks again, more sternly this time.
“I’m out… are you not listening to me? Your goddamned card isn’t working!”
“Yeah ’cause you used the last of the money in it!” He snaps. “I’m asking you again: where are you?”
“Fuck you!” He hears you slur out loud, and the next second, all he hears is the monotonous beeping, meaning you’ve cut the call.
Rafe sighs, slamming his phone on his table as he holds his hair in his hands, his fingers scrunching around his hair strands as he pulls onto them, hard enough to cause blinding pain in his scalp, feeling as if he’ll just rip his hair out. He slams his laptop shut and gets up from his office chair, deciding to retreat to home for now.
You aren’t telling him where you are, and he most certainly isn’t going to go around looking for you.
The best he can do right now is sleep, and worry about the negative balance in his card the next morning.
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
Rafe’s eyes snap open when he feels something cool being pressed into his forehead. It takes him a second but he makes out your outline in the dark room, blinking a few times to adjust to the bare amount of light in the room.
“Rafe…” your cold voice cuts through the darkness of the room.
It’s dead silent, and Rafe’s ears can only process his own deep breathing. Not yours – it feels like you aren’t breathing, you’re just standing silently.
A breeze blows outside, causing the flimsy curtains hanging in front of his window to fly to the side for the moment, letting the white moonlight to leak in through the room.
And he sees it.
He catches the cold look in your eyes, as if they’re dead, not a single emotion swirling in the depths of them. His breath gets caught in his throat, and he slowly turns his head up to find the cause of the cold feeling on his forehead.
A sharp click is heard, and the pressure against his forehead is increased, causing him to let out a shaky breath.
“Now you know I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger,” your voice is cool, emotionless, and monotone. You push the muzzle of the gun more against his forehead. “Tell me where the money is, and I’ll let you go unharmed.”
“What money?” Rafe croaks out, his heart thumping loudly in his chest.
A moment passes.
Another moment passes.
All Rafe hears is the rhythmic, yet fast thumping of his heart deep against his eardrums.
“I know the credit card wasn’t the only money you have,” you say. Your voice is so calm, it terrifies the smallest, thinnest nerve in his body. “I know you’ve got money – cash somewhere in here. I used to keep my eye on it. You moved it, didn’t you? It’s not in its usual location.”
Rafe’s eyes widen as he turns his head to his left just slightly and sees the doors of his wardrobe opened, drawers pulled out they’re threatening to fall out, and all his clothes are messed up, unorganized as if someone went through them frantically to find something.
He slowly turns his head back to you, realizing you always knew about the cash he keeps hidden behind his clothes in the wardrobe for all sorts of emergencies.
“I don’t have it,” he mumbles, his eyes widening, and you can clearly see the fear swirling around in his baby blues.
“Liar,” you snap, pushing the muzzle of the gun even harder into his forehead, which causes him to let out a wince. “Now’s not the time to fuck around a’ight? Tell me where it is, and I’ll let you go-”
“No,” he says silently, cutting you off. He’s trying his best to not be afraid of you, to not let it show. But, his shallow, erratic breaths leaving his rubied lips show something entirely different.
Right in the next second, you take the gun away from his forehead and direct it to your right, pulling the trigger with ease as a loud bang echoes throughout Tannyhill. Rafe flinches at the sudden sound which causes ringing in his ear, his eyes shut closed as a reflex. The sound of glass cracking and bursting echoes as an aftermath. He slowly opens his eyes and looks to his left, and sees the lamp on the bedside table absolutely shattered to pieces.
You now place the gun directly on his throat, digging it into his skin harshly. You push his face up with the gun, forcing him to make eye contact with you, which causes his hair to fall in his eyes. Through the hair in his eyes, he catches the glimpse of the crazed, wide eyed look you have.
It gets dead silent, and Rafe can still hear the bang of the gun and the breaking of the glass in the back of his head. You slowly pull the trigger, but not completely, and Rafe’s breath hitches in his throat as he hears the silent creak of the trigger being pulled.
“One last time…” you whisper, your voice having an eerie touch to it. “Where’s the fucking money?”
You notice the glassy layer of tears forming in his eyes, and you groan, throwing your head back.
“Stop being such a crybaby and man up!” You yell. “Just tell me where the goddamned money is!”
Rafe’s lips part slightly, and he raises a shaky hand, pointing to something behind you. You turn around to see he’s pointing to a safe kept safely away in a corner.
You let out an exhale as you turn your attention back to Rafe, the gun still digging into his skin. “What’s the pass?”
“4-” he starts to speak but his words get caught in his throat. “4, 3, 1, 7, 9, 5,” he mumbles out, squeezing his eyes shut as he feels the gun digging in his skin starting to form a bruise.
You look at him for a moment, and then slowly take the gun off his neck. He lets out a shaky breath and moves his fingers to the skin, and as predicted, he can feel an indent in his skin.
“Good boy,” you mutter as you walk to the safe and put in the combination. As you put it in, the safe opens and voila, there are stacks and stacks of dollar bills kept safely inside. You take them out and put it in the bag you had with you, making your way to the door.
“Rafe?” You say as you turn to look at him, and he notices your ‘sweet’ tone coming back in. “I hope you remember it’s our 1 year anniversary tomorrow, yeah? I’ve been eyeing this diamond necklace for ages. We’ll go to the jewelry store alright? And we’ll throw a party, at My Druthers of course. I need a new dress for that so we’ll shop for that too. I’ll see you tomorrow morning baby,” you smile as you open the door and leave, not giving Rafe even a moment to speak before the door is slammed shut with full force.
Rafe sits still for a moment, tears running down his cheeks silently as the past moments settle in him. Nothing could have ever prepared him for what just happened.
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
“Yeah, I have the beach cleanup to attend tomorrow, and the soup kitchen volunteering is throughout the week, along with atleast three hours of working at The Wreck everyday, and the biweekly cleaning of the boats for Mr. Smith,” he hears you go on and on about your jobs to your friend JJ. “And then maybe we’ll have enough to pool it in and get ourselves some of that fancy champagne for your birthday J,”
He hears you sigh, taking a sip of your drink as you rest your back against the wall. “You know cheap beer will do it too right? We don’t have to go all out for the alcohol,” JJ tells you.
“Oh my god,” you roll your eyes at him. “It’s your 18th birthday! We are getting nice, expensive champagne for it, whether you like or not. Listen, I will have enough to buy it okay? There’s no way we aren’t having that on your birthday. We’ll be like Kooks for that day, with our champagne in those long ass glasses,” you giggle and JJ laughs with you too, nodding his head.
“That’s tempting you know? The part of wanting to feel like the Kooks,” he says.
“It sure is, and you deserve it alright? So I’ll make it happen for you,” you smile at him. You take the last sip of your drink and peer into the now empty cup. “I’ll be back alright?” You say, walking away from JJ.
Rafe watches you make your way to the bar, and decides to give you a follow. As you sit at a barstool, he sits at the one next to you, catching your eye.
“Well well well, if it isn’t the kook prince,” you smile smugly at him. He can’t help but smile back at you.
“In his full glory,” he says, his smile showing off his teeth.
“To what do I owe this pleasure, kook prince?” You ask. Rafe sees a certain glint in your eye; one that he is almost certain is of the same interest he is looking at you with.
“Let me buy you your drink, that’s all,” he says. He sees your eyebrows furrow, but they relax the next second and you nod.
“Okay…” you say, “but what’s the catch?”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “No catch, saw your pretty face, and I just wanted to do something nice for you,”
He sees you say nothing, just a smile on your face as you receive your ordered drink and he tells the bartender to put it on his tab. You get up from the barstool with your drink firm in your hand.
“Will I see you around, kook prince?” You ask.
Rafe’s lips are tugged in a soft smile at your words.
“You sure will,”
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
That’s all he ever wanted.
He liked you, heck – he fell in love with you, and all he ever wanted was to relieve the pain of financial troubles off your shoulders. He always thought he had a lot of money – too much if he insists, and if it means it’ll help someone and provide them some financial stability, especially when that someone is the person he’s so deeply attracted to, he doesn’t mind, at all.
But what he didn’t catch is that you never loved him back the way he did. He loved to shower you with gifts and whatever your heart desired because he wanted to be there for you.
But did he ever expect you to get so up in your head that you’ll forget all about him and just see him as someone who can give you as much money as you’ll ever need?
Absolutely not.
The wind howls outside the open window, the safe is opened and every single note in it is taken away by you, his wardrobe is opened and clothes are spilling out from it, and he’s sitting, staring at the wall, his fingertips gently grazing over the indent on his neck as tears spill down his eyes.
He’s stuck, and you’ve made it really clear that he can’t back out of this.
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @lunalitva @sadfury @shores-kayla @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow @starkowswife @drewstarkeyswifehoe @jjchaer @f4ll-for-you @wearemadeofstardust0 @drewsmusee @rafegirly @addriaenne @leighbronk @rafesdrew @bejeweledreverie @raf3sgff @aerangi @drewstarkey1bae @moneymaybank @spideysimpossiblegirl @the-tortured-poets-depxrtment @rafesgiirl @theoraekenslover @oceandriveab @valeskafics @diqldrunks @ladyinbl00d
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your stories with Fem reader are my biggest source of serotonin and self esteem I literally spend hours rereading them 🙏🏽
could you do one with a reader who has tattoos?
the scenario I imagine is reader always wears 100% covered clothes (pants or skirts and tights) none of the boys really care about this because it could be a religious reason or just because reader doesn't like it
but at some point when reader is alone, they decides to take a dip in the school's pool (I don't know if there is one but I remember seeing official bathing suit artwork so it probably is) it turns out that's exactly when the dorms get together for some activity and see reader with bathing suit and all sampling tattoos. it would be even cooler if reader coincidentally had tattoos that represent each dorm or some symbol that represents their favorite villain
could it be with the dorm leaders?
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Tattoos Revealed | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
While I don’t think they have a swimming pool,  I know Kalim can make one! And what better time for them to see your Disney villain tattoos. Granted it’ll be awkward explaining how you know the great seven from your world. When they ask you might omit the detail of how you’re world considers them villains instead making up something arbitrary. But no worries even without a concrete reason they’re wonderfully enjoying the skin your flashing:
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Riddle Rosehearts 
A decorative heart with a familiar crown 
He tilts his head 
After a series of looking back at you with a firestarting blush
He finally gains the guts to look at you
And not the skin you’ve left uncovered
“T-that tattoo…it looks similar to the insignia of the Heartslabyul…could you have perhaps gotten it while you were staying here? I didn’t think you had the funds to pull that off…How’d you pull it off without me seeing?”
You chuckle as you give an excuse
“Well I’ve always loved her finesse especially in the live-action!” 
So you put things you care about…on your body?
Even the hidden parts?
He was never allowed to think positively about tattoos 
let alone possibly getting one
And in that regard it was a symbol of your forbidden allure
He wondered blushing red in the Scarabia sun what it would take to put him on you
“What would it take to put a tattoo of me on you? I mean your tattoos are…nice. Have you thought about adding more?”
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Leona Kingscholar
Spots the familiar outline of Scar with an amused gaze
He doesn’t hesitate to run his fingers on it
Delighting in your embarrassed reaction he’s smirking endlessly
“Awfully presumptuous for an herbivore to just mark herself like this. Almost like you’re asking to be claimed by me right off the bat.”
It doesn’t matter all that much why you have it, he’s just happy you already know who you belong to
Granted he understands the ambiguity of the symbol
But he’s more than happy to make some marks of his own
And if you weren’t so insistent on being his prey he’ll save you the embarrassment of doing it now
“Don’t be such a baby, I’m sure a tooth prick isn’t nearly as painful as getting a tattoo. So buck up.”
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Azul Ashengrotto
He’s in awe of your confidence 
Not only in wearing your bathing suit but flexing the octopus tentacles clutching the shell necklace
“Y-you look dvine great I mean you always do–ugh just I like your tattoo!”
He gets all flustered when your eyes turn to him anyway
He has his suspicions about how you got that or why
And if he’s feeling confident he’ll ask 
Only to recognize your deflection
He rationalizes…that you must be destined for one another
As embarrassing as that is he can’t think of anything else
Other than the horrifying likeness to some other mer-octopus
Embarrassment aside he’s going to be the only one who has a chance with you
“Oh my (Y/n)? Are you implying something about the two of us? If so I’m already on board”
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Kalim Al Asim
The familiar viper has him preening with pride
He already considers you destined for each other
This just confirms it
“(Y/n)! I love your tattoo!”
“Kalim back up your practically on top of her!”
He doesn’t care for space
Specifically your space
So he’ll getclose enough, nose nearly touching to look at it
He thinks the very pores of your skin as the most beautiful 
And even if you didn’t have tattoos he couldn’t be more enamored
“Please let me touch (Y/n) I just want to touch just a little! Please!”
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Idia Shroud
He’s already floored that your in a bathing suit
Its just too much for his virgin-otaku-brain 
How cool! 
You have a blue flame tattoo and he couldn’t be happier that he has that trait
“Whoa (Y/n)! To think the love-interest would have so many layers? I realize there’s more I have to dig up.”
If he doesn’t already know about the intimate image
He feels inadequate…that he didn’t know about sooner
So he might just get one to match yours
That is if he doesn’t have plans to remove it
“Blue flame from my family? Lame! I’ll sooner print my username instead…hehehe that’s a really good idea, me!”
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Malleus Draconia
He has a…mixed reaction
On one hand, I’m sure he’s been informed of different cultures marking their bodies
And that’s probably not what he’s mad about
But he’s livid that its not directly about him
“That’s an interesting marking…who gave it to you?”
Why would he want you sporting a tattoo representative of his grandmother
And while he thinks its great that you idolize her
He doesn’t want you sporting it
So if you wake up with no tattoo at all
Or a tattoo with his name
Or (Y/n) X Malleus
Or Malleus Draconia’s Mate
“Oh its a shame that such a thing has happened. Come, I can imprint something I have from my memory. This is not what was there? I do not recall, this is exactly how I remember it to be.”
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strniohoeee · 5 months
Text
Dolor Pt. 2
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Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Y/N hasn’t seen Chris in a year and a half, but with the help of her friend she’s surprised by them🤭 Will those feelings still be there for one another?
Warnings⚠️: None, I’m not too sure how I feel about this one, but I had no other idea on how to write it so I hope y’all enjoy 🙃
Song for the imagine: ANGEL- Brent Faiyaz
Read part 1 here🫶🏽
Don’t ever leave my side, baby I’ll die
But from what I know, you’re always here to stay
You’re an angel in disguise
It has been a solid year and half since Chris and I broke up, a solid year and half of never seeing him or his brothers. It was very hard, but it also flew by. I wasn’t sure where a year and half went. It was honestly scary.
We both told each other we’d love to cross paths, and reconnect in a few months to be friends, but life got in the way, and that never happened. I’m honestly glad it didn’t, we were both so busy I believe it helped us move on from one another faster.
We all stood mutuals with each other on instagram and TikTok, but we just didn’t interact with each other. I watched them grow in all aspects, and it was amazing. I thought I’d be there to witness it first hand, but instead I was watching from the sidelines….it hurt me, but it had to be done.
My TikTok was flooded with videos of them from their tour they were just on, and it’s honestly crazy how much people can change in a year and a half. That didn’t even look like Chris. He was much more mature looking, sculpted cheekbones, shorter hair, stubble on his face…..Chris was looking good.
I shook that feeling off because I could not allow myself to fall back in love with Chris. It took me a long time to move on from him. I will always love the kid, but to fall out of love was hard. I hadn’t seen or talked to any other guys since splitting with Chris, and I wasn’t too sure if that was the same with him. Deep down I hoped it was.
I was scrolling on TikTok one day when I saw a clip of the triplets from their recent podcast video, they were doing a Q and A video, and somehow Chris pulled out a question asking about me. I decided to watch the video
“Okay so this person says how’s Y/N, and how have you been since the breakup. I’m currently going through my own break up right now, and I just need some advice” Chris read out
“So uh this is a good question. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve last seen Y/N, and it’s crazy to say it’s been that long, but it has. With the relationship we had and how special it was it took me a full year to finally be able to feel okay, and understand why we split up. It hurt and some part of me still hurts, but we told each other the night we broke up that we both will be okay because we’re strong, and that’s something I’ve been holding on to. I presume that she’s okay, I’ve seen her instagram posts and her TikTok’s, and she looks amazing. I actually really miss the girl. So I hope she’s doing great, and for you going through your break up just know everything happens for a reason and you’ll be okay take your time and work on yourself” he said
Oh god this was making it so hard for me not to call Chris and ask to see him….I missed him so badly
I scrolled some more and another clip popped up
“This person wants to know do you still love Y/N” Nick asked Chris
“Oh 100% that woman is my everything. Like we’ve said in the past we hope to cross paths again” Chris said nodding his head
This has to be a sign? Like this has to be a sign that I have to see him, that Chris and I are meant for each other right? Or am I being delusional……
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to call him, text him or just ignore all this and keep it pushing in life. I felt torn between my decisions
Today I was getting ready to film with Larray and Arrington. I had gotten so close to them within the last year, and we always filmed together. Larray was my biggest supporter in all this, and he was also friends with the triplets which kind of made it hard, but he never got in between anything. Although he hoped and prayed that we’d get back together one day I always told him time will tell.
He had an idea where we all stay in his car for 24 hours with special guests. I wasn’t sure who these guests were, and I wasn’t sure why he wanted us to stay in a car for 24 hours, but I agreed I knew it would be fun.
I had driven over to Larrays house, and let myself in
“YOOOOO” I yelled from the door
“Were in hereeee” Arrington yelled back
Oh god I was the last one here….I hated this, but anyways I walked to Larrays room, and when I walked in my heart sank
“Oh” was all I said as I walked in
“Hiiiii baby” Larray said, causing everybody to turn around with him the triplets face dropping
“What’s? Uh….whats going on” I said looking at Larray
“We’re filming a video, and I brought my friends” he said back
“It’s been so long” Chris said looking at me saddened
“It ummm it has” I said smiling at him
“We have missed you so fucking much….holy shit” Nick said running over and hugging me
“Uhh it’s been so fucking long I missed yall too” I said hugging him
“Matt you look so different now” I said jaw dropping and giving him a hug
“Good different I hope” he said hugging me
“Of course good different” I said laughing at him
I moved to Chris
“You look so different too” I said pulling him in for a hug
“I’ve missed you” he said hugging me tighter
“Missed you too” I said pulling away
After chatting for a bit Larray decided to film his introduction for his channel
“Alright bitches we are filming a 24 hour car video today, and of course I had to bring in my ride or dies Arrington and Y/N” he said and both Arrington and I made an entrance
“And then you know Larray had to stir the pot, so he brought the triplets” Arrington said to the camera causing us to laugh
“As uhhh most of you know there’s uh an elephant in this room between uh two people, but ummm we won’t talk about it” Larray said
And we just laughed at him
“You are so messy” I said to him rolling my eyes playfully
“Alright let’s get to the car bitches” he said and we ran out
I sat in the passenger seat, Chris and Arrington in the back, and then Nick and Matt in the third row
“Alright so right now we’re driving to Target which is 45 minutes away because Larray decided to do this video during rush hour” I said to the camera
“Uh- is that a drag?” He asked me
“It sure is” I said to him
“So Y/N….you said Matt looks different….you already had Chris so will you try another brother” Arrington asked me
I looked back at him jaw on the floor, as Chris and his brothers were laughing
“You weirdo Arrington, I will not fucking get with Matt” I said shaking my head
“Could you believe this kid” I said looking at the camera
“Ouuuu the fans want to know how many boyfriends since Chris” Larray asked me
“Boyfriends plural? Do they think I’m a slut….its only been a year and a half guys, and there’s been zero guys since Chris” I said shrugging my shoulders
“OHHHHHH CHRISSSS” Larray and Arrington yelled at him hyping him up
“She loves me too much to do that” Chris said to the camera
“Uh-“ I said turning around to look at him
“I’m just kidding” he said and touched my face playfully
“SAW THAT” Nick and Matt yelled from the back
We had finally gotten to Target, and Chris and I were paired up to go on the hunt for some things, and we had to vlog it together
“Alright guys I’m here with uh….my ex” I said to the camera
“What a great reunion” he said looking at the camera
“Who would’ve thought a year and a half later we’d be in Target shopping for a video together” I said looking at him
“I honestly thought it would’ve happened sooner, but I mean hey” he said shrugging his shoulders
“Oh whatever” I said rolling my eyes at him
Him and I were doing some shopping and grabbing some stuff, and we had found ourselves in the coloring book aisle
“Look the Disney coloring book, your favorite” he said leaning down to grab it
“You remembered?” I asked him
“Of course I did, and you only get specific coloring pencils cause you’re weird” he said laughing
“Hey don’t be mean” I said laughing at him
“It’s cute” he said smiling at me
“Do you ever think about us?” I asked him
“Pretty often actually” he said looking at me
“Do you think you see a future with me” I asked him
“I’ve thought about this a lot, and every time I picture my future you’re a main character in it” he said looking into my eyes
“This year and a half has been rough, and I so badly wanted nothing more than to cave and call you over, and just hold you tight” I said looking down
“I sat in my room for so many nights wondering if the decision I made was right, and after a while I just became numb to the feeling, but I want this again….I want us” he said
“I think we should start slow first. I want us to truly work out this time no break ups no nothing” I said to him
“I think so too, you should come film with us again we miss you so much, and the fans miss you too” he said
“I’ve seen…all over my tik tok” I said smiling at him
“Yeah they love you and I love you too so much” he said pulling me in for a hug
We finished vlogging some, and headed back to the car with everybody getting back in our original seats
“Okay everybody we are back, we’re going to go eat something and then we’ll be back in the car for the next 24 hours” Larray said
After we ate we went back into Larrays car trying to stick out this challenge and just chatting with each other asking each other questions
“How many girlfriends since Y/N?” Larray asked Chris
“None. I told yall she’s the love of my life” he said looking at the camera
“Awww Chris” I said looking at him
“HEY CITY GIRLS UP. Do not fall for this” Arrington said
“Shut the fuck up” I said laughing at him
“What’s one regret you have” Nick asked us
“I think my biggest regret was completely dropping you guys out of my life. Like no interactions no nothing that hurt the most” I said to them
“We appreciate that” Matt said
“How do you guys feel after seeing each other” Matt asked Chris and I
“Is this a hot seat? What are we doing” Chris said
“Shut the fuck up and answer” Nick said
“I feel at peace, like seeing him was the last piece to my puzzle. I still love Chris of course, and we’re hoping to take things slow, and eventually get together again” I said to them
“Yeah. I love her so much, and seeing her today brought back all those memories. Memories that made my heart flutter, and I knew I couldn’t let her go again” he said looking at me
“Yall cute as shit this has got to stop” Larray said
“So yall heard it here first they are back together” Arrington said to the camera
“WOAH WOAH NO” we both said putting our hands out
“We are taking it slow…we are not dating yet, and trust me you guys will know when we’re back together. It’s a maybe for right now” I said to the camera
“But she will be in our videos again” Chris said
“SHE WILL?” Nick and Matt said
“Yes she will!” He said to them
“FUCK YES FINALLY” Nick said getting excited
We had chatted for a good thirty more minutes before we decided this challenge was not going to happen
“Alright guys we did not make it, but we love you and we’re heading inside now” Larray said
“BYEEEEEE” we all yelled to the camera, Chris pulling me in and kissing my forehead
“Are you guys going to soft launch your comeback before I post this?” Larray asked us
“You know that’s not a bad idea actually” I said looking at Chris
“We could do that. I’d love to do that” he said pulling me in and kissing my cheek
“Yall soft launching but he smoochin on you” Matt said looking at us
“Uhhhh mind your business” Chris said sticking his tongue out at him
“OMG to keep it like private you guys could do like a couples shadow picture” Nick said
“Waittttt I love that let’s do it” I said to Chris
We had snapped the picture, and Chris posted it collabing with me once again so I can post and share it. Nick and Matt also shared it to their story saying the gangs back together and they can’t wait to film with me again. Immediately the love we got was INSANE
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❤️nicolassturniolo,matthew.sturniolo,larray, and 450,000 others
christophersturniolo: I told you guys we’d always always find a way back to one another. Although we aren’t dating again we will be thinking about it for our future. I love this girl with my whole fucking heart, and I’m so glad we’re in each others lives again. She was my right person at the wrong time.My number one girl💍. Were back BITCHESSSSS🥳
Sturnioloteam: STFU THEYRE BACK
arringtonallen: mhmmm I was here for this picture so back off everyone
nicolassturniolo: mama and papa🫡
matthew.sturniolo: yall cute or whatever…..
larray: yall can thank me for this reunion MHMM💅🏽
Y/Nusername: my number one guy…love this kid so much💋
sturnioloooooo: I knew mom and dad would find each other again
The immense love we received was insane. Had you told me a year and a half ago today that all that pain would be gone, and we would find each other again I would laugh in your face. I guess I am making it to the end of his story….🥀
The End
I hope you guys liked this one I feel ehhh about it, but I had to have a happy ending🥹 but anywho let me get to writing some more 🖤
-J💅🏽
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yeahspider · 6 months
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tooth brush 🫀
Ve’s note - this is fluff . i love a good friends to lovers trope and this is exactly what this is . han jisung x gn reader . this was inspired by that one dnce song . no actual smut but illusion to sex and alcohol mentions .abrupt ending as usual bc i suck at conclusions . i’m gonna get better at posting more frequently and proofreading i swear . (also i’ve gotten a lil critique on my writing style recently but i write how i talk . very casual and very realistic . this is 100% a personal choice and won’t be changing anytime soon sorry *kinda*) anyways i hope your enjoy and feel free to request in my inbox !! <3
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you didn’t expect you’d end up here . never in a million years . staring at your reflection in the mirror it’s safe to say you look a mess . bare feet on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor . hair in every which direction . clothed in only a shirt which definitely didn’t belong to you . maybe you had one to many last night . and now you had to deal with consequences .
taking a deep breath you turn on the faucet sink to splash some water on your face . you needed to be 100% awake for the conversation that awaited you once you stepped out your safe haven . just a few steps outside the bathroom door was your childhood best friend han jisung . it’s been awhile since you’ve seen each other . life taking you on different paths . him to a studio and you to college . your bond never severed though .
you had came home from school and decided to have a sleep over with at his house . an event which has happened several times but not once has it ended the way it did last night . you could blame the liquor or you could blame the unresolved feelings that have sitting between you two since you were both 15 .
you knew hiding in the bathroom and waiting for him to leave the room so you could sneak out wasn’t a realistic option . but it was the one that brought you comfort . confronting the hours you spent embraced in each other last night was scarier in comparison . you could smell the breakfast his parents were cooking for you both downstairs . yeah sneaking out was seeming less likely by the second . picking up your sparkly blue toothbrush you left there after your last sleepover you decide to buck up . you were both adults . adults have sex . it’s normal ….maybe not with their childhood best friend but your sure it’s happened before . spitting out the paste you run yours hands through your hair and take a deep breath . you could do this .
“are you going to hide out in there forever or are you gonna come out eventually ?” you heard jisung say from the other side of the door . you could just picture the smile on his face . it leaked through his voice . there went your resolved , down the drain with your toothpaste . your hope of sneaking out officially ruined you grab the doorknob and step out .
“ah there you are i thought you had fallen down the drainpipe or something .” he said as he took in your disheveled appearance . you were rooted to the floor , scrunching your toes in the carpet and gripping the bottom of your - jisung’s - shirt out of nervousness . you couldn’t find it in you to respond to him . and that’s when he burst out laughing . shocking you out of your stance . how could he be laughing right now . this is a serious situation . but the longer you laughed the more weight you felt lifted of your shoulders . you realized that this was just jisung .
you quarter your shoulders . hand on a hip and sled him what exactly was so funny . your tone mocking an anger that you didn’t really feel .
“you’re just cute when your nervous.” jisung’s said as he gestured you to come lay back in the bed . making your way over to him you grumbled something out about not being cute . he pulled you into his lap as you crossed your hands over your chest . pouting at him for laughing at you .
“hey don’t pout it’s okay i have no regrets .” he said as he swirled soothing circles on your bare thighs . bringing a comfort over you as you smile at him . you asked him if he was just saying that to make you feel better .
“i’ve been in love with you since we were like 15 i’m just glad you feel the same way …unless you do regret it ?” he posed the question to you a hint of insecurity in his tone , to which you brushed away as you planted a kiss to the mole on his cheek . you would never regret him .
“cmon my parents made breakfast we can talk seriously after you eat.” jisung stated as he took your hand and lead you out the bed and towards the smell of breakfast .
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l0serloki · 1 year
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Long Missions!
Valorant Agents reacting to their S/O going on a long mission
(Gekko, Chamber, Phoenix, Sage)
CW : GN!Reader, eating (Chamber), mentions of sadness (Sage), mentions of anxiety (Chamber & Sage), sexual hints (Phoenix)
A/N : I’ve seen a lot of the Sage requests I got and thought she would be a fun one to add to this! I’m currently writing a lot so if I haven’t gotten to your request - it’s not on purpose!
Masterlist
Gekko :
He will BEG Brim to let him go with you. (Brim continues to say no.)
“Babe, I get we are saving the world and stuff but how am I going to sleep alone now.”
100% acts like the world is ending the last day.
“Y/N, hurry and come here! I need to hold you for one last second.. I want to remember how you feel!”
When you go to leave he will continue to wave goodbye and pretend to run with the jet.
“Don’t forget me babe!! I love you!!”
Gekko’s fingers dusted your cheek as the two of you laid in bed. He had just gotten done complaining for what felt like the five hundredth time about your upcoming mission.
“I don’t see why Brimstome won’t let me go. I am a total help to the team! Plus, imagine how lonely I’m going to be at home. Babe, you gotta do something about it!”
“Mateo, what in the world am I supposed to do?” You raised an eyebrow, watching as his chestnut hues fell.
“I don’t know.. Maybe give me a kiss?” He leaned forward, a grin spreading across his face.
You could only roll your eyes, leaning in to peck his lips.
“I’ll give you as many as you want if you stop complaining, dork.”
Chamber :
I just KNOW he sets up a special dinner.
If you don’t want to go out he will surprise you with it at home.
His darling has to have a comforting last day before they leave!
Long talks at the table & him discussing plans with you to make sure you’re okay. (And to put his anxieties at ease.)
He’s the type to rest on the couch with some soft music playing & just rubs your back. It makes him feel super close to you!
When you leave he will give you a kiss and a pat, threatening Brim to take care of you out there.
“You make sure to give Y/N backup, yes? If you don’t we will have problems..”
“Mon amour, are you okay? You haven’t ate much.” Chamber picked at his food, giving you a questioning look.
To be honest, you were worried about tomorrow. Brimstone had asked you to come along on a tedious mission for the whole week. You could already feel your bones aching and the longing for your bed and you hadn’t even left yet!
You shook your head, stabbing at the food your boyfriend made.
“Fine, Vin. I’m just stressed about the upcoming week. I know we went over everything, I am just not looking forward to it.”
Vincent hummed, leaning across the table to give you a forehead kiss.
“That’s a normal response, love. Let’s finish up and we can go lay down. Sound good?”
Phoenix :
“So you’re going without me. WOW. My own partner hates me.” (he is so sarcastic)
He takes you to the practice range to make sure you’re ‘top notch’ before leaving.
Be real though.. he finds your shooting hot and y’all end up making out.
“I guess I can see why Brim chose you. Still won’t be as bright as me though.”
Right before you leave, Phoenix gives you one of his jackets and a kiss on the cheek.
“Be safe, darling. I love you.”
“I cannot believe that Brimstone doesn’t think I’m fit for this mission! I mean come on.. You, me. We are the dream team!” Phoenix exasperated, hands flailing in the air. You could only snort as he continued to complain, pacing back and forth.
“I mean.. Who else would be there to protect you? Well.. More like you would protect me. That’s beside the point! I’m going to miss you.” Phoenix smirked, face touching yours.
“Oh yeah? How much?” You smiled, waiting for his snarky remark.
“Mm.. Why don’t I just show you.”
Sage :
She is a bit anxious but knows you will do fine!
“I will miss you a lot. I hope everything goes smoothly out there.”
She is really affectionate and makes sure that you’re mentally prepared to face enemies!
Cuddles in bed and a movie the night before!!
When you go to leave she will give you encouraging words & a kiss!
“You are so strong. I believe in you, my gem. I love you.”
Sage’s hand was wrapped in yours, head resting on your chest. Everytime she wasn’t invited on a mission you were going on she would get sad - not that she would ever admit that. The two of you had been cuddling in bed and watching her favorite movie in hopes to raise the mood.
You looked down at your girlfriend, her eyes drooped and her breathing was slowing down. You used your other hand to rub through her slick hair, bringing a kiss down to her forehead.
“Goodnight, my angel. I love you.”
A small smile appeared on her face, hand gripping at the material of your t-shirt.
“Night, honey. I love you too. Sleep well.”
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dark-frosted-heart · 2 months
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The Beast's User Manual - Clavis (Part 3)
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As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this
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Case. 3: The proper way to love Clavis
Emma: Cyril, are you sure this information is accurate?
Cyril: Yes, no doubt about it. I swear on my title as the head knight.
Emma: Thank you. In that case, I can’t miss this chance!
Cyril, who’s Clavis’ close aide and in a position to control the knights of the Foreign Affairs faction, side-eyed me as I got fired up.
Having a free-spirited lord, the look’s not usual for Cyril. However, it’s rare that he directed it at me.
Emma: What’s wrong?
Cyril: Nothing…I just think that my lady’s been poisoned by Prince Clavis.
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Emma: !!!
Cyril: Ah…you’re in shock. I thought you lost those feelings too.
Emma: Of course not.
(Poisoned…)
(No, he’s right. Normally, I wouldn’t think about pranking my fiance when I hear that he’s taking a rare nap)
Cyril: They do say that married couples tend to be alike.
Emma: We’re not married.
Cyril: You pretty much are. Well, do as you like. Just please make sure that you wake Prince Clavis up. If he doesn’t show up to the meeting on time, I’ll kick the door down.
Emma: Got it. I’ll do my best!
Cyril, perhaps overwhelmed by my energy, returned to his post with a wry smile.
I was left alone to face the tightly shut door.
(The key that Clavis gave me…Here it is)
Though Clavis didn’t normally let anyone in his room, he let me in.
I quietly inserted the key into the lock so as to not make a sound, and when I went inside…
(Wow…he really is sleeping like Cyril said)
The person lying on the sofa was breathing normally.
Even when I tiptoed toward him, Clavis’ eyes didn’t open.
(I think this is the first time I’ve ever gotten this good of a look at his sleeping face)
Clavis was lying on the sofa in his usual clothes and looked beautiful as he slept.
Without the usual smile, the innocent look reminded me of his innocent childhood.
(...Huh, he’s hugging something to his chest…)
(...It can’t be. A rabbit plushie?!)
I couldn’t help but groan at the fact that Clavis, a self-proclaimed rabbit lover, had this side to him.
(Is Clavis going to earn the title “cute” like that day with the lap pillow?)
(What a gentleman, geez!)
I knelt down beside him and continued to gaze at his handsome face with my chin resting on my hands.
I’ll never get tired of his bouncy bedhead or his overly defenseless sleeping face.
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(What do I do? I need to wake him up, but…I can’t)
(...But if I don’t steel my heart, Cyril will kick the door down.)
Emma: Clavis…
When I whisper his name, Clavis’s eyelids react faster than I expected.
(I think he woke up, soー)
Clavis: Nn…It’s not…time yet… *yawn* I’m…sleepy…I’ve had enough, good night…
(Wow…he’s sleep talking)
(I don’t think I’ve seen Clavis half asleep like this before)
(I love this listless Clavis…)
As continued watching, forgetting what I was supposed to do, his eyes opened. 
(Ah…)
Clavis: …
Emma: G-good morning…
Clavis: …
Emma: Are you still half asleep?
I waved a hand in front of his golden eyes.
Clavis blinked several times and shot up.
He then hurriedly picked up his ascot tie that was hanging on the back of the sofa and tied it.
Clavis: Emma…
Emma: Yes?
Clavis: What did you see?
Emma: Your sleeping face.
Clavis: Did I say anything strange?
Emma: You said something cute.
Clavis: …I see
Clavis covered his face with one hand.
(Alright, the prank was successful)
Emma: Are you, by any chance, embarrassed?
Clavis: Haha, there’s no way. It’s just that, you know… Yes, I thought it strange for you to sneak into my room without permission.
Emma: Hehe…You prank me often. I thought I’d return the favor.
(This is the kind of surprise that Clavis loves)
Clavis: I see…you got me
Emma: And it’s my dream to become a Clavis master.
Clavis: Hm? What’s with that amusing title?
Emma: It’s a title reserved for those that you know ins and outs, and can hold the reins. It was a great learning experience today to see Clavis after you woke up from your nap.
Clavis: …
Emma: By the way, Clavis. Here.
When I point at a spot above his ear, Clavis tidies up his hair in a hurry.
(I guess Clavis’ hair falls out of place when he sleeps. There’s a lot of cute things today)
I couldn’t help but laugh and amusement replaced that innocent, sleepy look.
(Ah, I have a bad feeling about this)
Clavis: That’s a good attitude, my dear fiancee. I like your courage to prank me as part of your journey to becoming a master. However…
Clavis was returning to his usual self the more he spoke and suddenly grabbed my hand.
In one moment, it was like he was a gentleman asking me to sit on the sofa with a gentle touch, and in the next, I was pinned down.
The Clavis that was staring at me from above lost all traces of cuteness from before.
Clavis: You should be more careful. It’s too naive to be satisfied with a prank. You have to expect payback.
A charming Claviss kissed my forehead before sliding his lips down to my cheek and then jaw.
(It’s unfair to suddenly change the mood…)
And of course, my heart felt like it was going to burst from the unexpected surprise.
Emma: C-Clavis…It’s almost time for the meeting!
Clavis: I know.
Emma: But your hands are still wandering…!
A hand casually rested on a leg, ready to slip under my skirt.
The feeling of his fingers caressing the skin made my face heat up immediately. 
Clavis: Thanks to you, I woke up ahead of schedule. I have plenty of time to tease you.
(That devilish look…!)
Any protest is silenced by a kiss.
Having lost the upperhand, I accepted his loving kiss.
Clavis: Where’d that boldness go? You’ll never get me to submit like that, hahaha!
(But, did you think I didn’t see this coming?)
Believing that he was in charge now, Clavis let his guard down.
(In times like this…)
I grabbed his face and pulled him back in for a kiss.
Instead of a sweet peck, I kissed him deeply, tongue and all.
(Clavis will be so happy with how honestly I’m conveying my love for him…)
When our lips parted, shock once again adorned his handsome face.
Emma: Don’t underestimate me. I’ve been poisoned by you to the point that Cyril side-eyes me.
At my proud declaration, Clavis burst into laughter.
Clavis: When did you get so good at handling me?
Emma: Hehe, does that mean you approve?
Clavis: Yes, I’ve lost.
The wide and charming smile on Clavis’ face made my heart pound.
This was the look I wanted to see with my prank.
Emma: You can leave yourself to me.
(Because I love you more than anyone else)
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hillbillyoracle · 2 years
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Fuck Goals, Fuck Vision Boards
Task Management for Planning Averse
AKA Even People with Zero Direction in Life Deserve Nice Things
So if you don’t already follow Dana K. White on YouTube, you should. She’s the author of the blog A Slob Comes Clean and several books. What I’m going to talk about below is heavily inspired by her work which is why I wanted to cite her upfront but also seriously go check her videos out if you’re trying to declutter and get organized. 
Right now I’m mostly using her videos and it’s genuinely the only decluttering method that has ever worked for me. And one of the reasons it works for me where others haven’t is that it is a system that doesn’t rely on feelings or valuation. 
I realized that as I’ve gotten better at task management in my life - though lord knows the move has made that more complicated - I realized that not using feelings or judgement based questions is what really helped me. I also realized that I had 100% completely given up on goals. I had neglected to set goals for a couple years now and weirdly I got more productive, not less. What gives? 
Step 0: Give Up on Goals and the Fantasy Self
What I realized is that goals were really just a product of what a lot of decluttering folks call my “fantasy self”. My fantasy self woke up at 5am and did little work out videos but trying to leap to become that fantasy self fucking sucked. It was not enjoyable once the novelty wore off and it largely didn’t present enough benefit to justify doing it. 
Which meant I would stop and then I would feel bad about myself and I’d pick up bad habits to cope with the feeling and then I was worse off than before. 
So when I stopped setting goals, I stopped declining at least because there wasn’t that rebound effect where I self soothed using way too much ice cream and binge watching whatever I could find. I hit a baseline that wasn’t amazing but the stability was helpful. Only when I gave up on the fantasy life did my actual life get better.
Capitalism loves the fantasy self. People spend so much money to try to become their fantasy self and often don’t even benefit that much from it. Then the guilt of seeing that stuff around can lead folks to by more stuff to cope with the guilt. The only people winning are the companies who you buy from. 
Also, folks with executive dysfunction have a very hard time picturing what done looks like. So trying to picture your “ideal day” is low key a nightmare experience for someone like me. Mission Statements can be real intimidating when you’re not totally sure what those words will mean for the decisions you make. Vision boards...I’m sorry I know some folks love them but I really do not enjoy them. They’re a sensory overload of an experience to me from the crafting to taking them in. I’ve never made a vision board that really did much for me. 
I’ve also recently learned about The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin and I am definitely a Rebel. So too much pressure internal or external and I will find the quickest exit possible. Rebels are a small but sizeable portion of folks according to the authors research. Which means there are likely other people out there who also find goals to be way too much fucking pressure. 
This is all to say - fuck goals. But you’ve still got a life to live so how do you move the needle in the positive direction? 
Step 1: Initial Brain Dump
People would always tell me to brain dump but never really explained how. They were like “Yeah just get all this stuff in your head out on paper” and I’m like...I don’t even know what’s in my head unless I go looking for it. 
So I offer you two questions and two methods of gathering answers. 
When trying to brain dump, ask yourself: 
What do I spend a lot of time thinking about? 
What are the specific tasks associated with these subjects? 
If you can’t think of next specific tasks associated with those subjects, it does necessarily mean you need to strike it off you list, it’ll just be a little tougher to know where it fits. 
Sometimes I’m able to sit down and answer these questions all in one go. And sometimes it’s much easier to keep a running list in my phone and when I realize I’ve been thinking a lot about something I add it to the list. Then later I can sit down and come up with specific tasks or process it in step 2. 
Step 2: Task Punnett 
In step 2 I look at my list and ask myself two questions:
Do I already spend time doing this? 
Will I face a negative result if I don’t do this? 
This gives four categories a list item can be sorted into. 
Yes/Yes
The goal here is to prevent burnout so you don’t stop spending time doing these. Common ones are cooking, cleaning, or seeing friends. So it’s important to look at each of these and make sure they’re as easy and enjoyable as possible. 
It also helps to know what your minimum is for each so that if you’re burning out you can scale back to your minimum effective dose is that allows you to avoid the material harm but give you a break - like getting take out or having freezer meals on hand, knowing what the most important cleaning tasks are and only doing those, and at least sending texts or voice memos to friends to connect.
Yes/No
The goal here is to protect this time as much as possible. It’s what tends to go when Yes/Yes and No/Yes tasks start to get out of hand. That will look different for different people but it almost always involves capping Yes/Yes and No/Yes time and not allowing yourself to go over. As you might have guess most hobbies go here. 
Some people will need other people to help encourage them to keep doing it. Some people will need flexibility so it feels like they’re truly choosing it. Some people will need to refresh their memory that these kinds of activities are just as necessary as other types of tasks. 
Guilt and shame is a big one that keeps people from having many things going in this box but it can also be a lack of self knowledge too. We’re not exactly encouraged to explore what we truly deeply love. Mental illness can also make this box tricky as anhedonia can make everything feel bleh. 
In all of these cases, I really suggest making some sort of reflective practice something you try to keep in this box so you can notice what triggers guilt, what sparks joy, and what just isn’t working after a while. Doesn’t have to be journaling in the traditional sense. I used to turn on my computer cam and just talk but now that I need more audio privacy, this has been really helping me.  
No/Yes
I fucking hate this box in all honesty. It’s the one that drains me and makes me feel like shit to look at this list but also I feel the most badass when I actually complete something off of it. 
The goal with this box is to figure out what’s blocking you from this being a Yes/Yes. Basically finish the sentence “I don’t really want to do this because...” and you’re on your way. Most barriers can be dealt with. I used to not believe this but I promise it’s true. 
This is where having a therapist, good friend, or community where you can bounce ideas off of can really make all the difference. A reflection practice can also really help get a different perspective too.  Sometimes the barriers loom so large in our mind that adaptation seems ridiculous or impossible. Take advantage of different perspectives. 
Automation, delegation, and congregation (body double or a group) are incredibly useful tools here. Don’t do more here than you need to. 
What’s key in the second question for this section is that this is something you have the power to impact the outcome of. If you don’t have the power to change the outcome or you’ve done all you can, then the task is bracing, mitigating, and accepting, not dealing with the topic/task head on. 
No/No
There are 2 main things I find in this category - shit I agreed to because I felt obligated and someday maybe projects. For shit I agreed to, the only remedy is to just get out of it, to bail in the most graceful way possible. I also try to prevent stuff from winding up here to begin with (no more event planning for me for a while). 
For someday maybe projects, I like to keep a space - usually Notion - where I can collect my thoughts on it, projects, and pain a picture of what it would take to make it a Yes/No task someday in the future - always keeping in mind what I could do with the materials and time I have available right now. I’ve picked a quite a few of my No/No tasks this way and made them things I do regularly because I left myself those breadcrumbs for later. 
Step 3: Prioritizing without Feelings
So now you have your tasks organized into these buckets and know what to keep in mind with each. So...what do you do with them? 
A lot of people will tell you to prioritize and do the hardest first while your willpower is strong but I say fuck that my willpower is never strong so we’re going to do easiest first to build up some confidence. 
No/No - For obligations that no longer serve me, I bail. For someday maybe projects, I write up some quick notes in my little system in Notion.
Yes/No - gather and prep materials, block out time, ask someone to do it with you or find a group if needed
Yes/Yes - gather and prep materials, if burning out, switch to minimum viable
No/Yes - figure out the barriers, automate, delegate, congregate, list next steps
Stuck Tasks - Too much to go into here but this video is helpful.
Sometimes I bounce around a bit - dealing with a Yes/Yes task will suddenly give me the guts to deal with a stuck task, getting out of a No/No obligation will make a No/Yes task look easier. So I don’t limit myself to this. But when I’m having trouble I go back to the list and just trust. 
If I have avoided doing a No/Yes task for anywhere from several days to several weeks - it’s official a stuck task and I bounce it there while I work through other No/Yes tasks to deal with later. 
Sometimes time pressures will dictate that things need to be handled before others - that’s fine. But usually a crunch will either show you that you will not in fact face a negative consequence after all or give you a motivation boost to carry you through some of the difficult tasks. 
Step 4: Doing it again
So when do you do it again? 
I do my brain dumps on Sundays and sort them into area of life lists so I can work on them by theme or focus but honestly whenever. When I was really in the throws of some bad mood shit I’d only do it every few weeks or so. Any amount of doing this generally had lead to a better life though. 
What about stuff I’m not thinking a lot about? 
That usually means either you’ve got such a good system for it that it’s running on autopilot so why mess with success, the possible reward is not appealing enough, or the possible consequences don’t freak you out enough. 
This isn’t really a system I use for creating like...a good life by a neurotypical standard. It’s what I use to manage the stress, concern, and daydreams I’m having right now, to get things off of my plate and grow my confidence. 
So will this mean everything gets managed? No. But it does mean the stuff most likely to keep you up at night does. Which is a huge fucking boon. 
Conclusion
There’s some more intricacies in this too like moving No/No projects to Yes/No and No/Yes projects to Yes/Yes - it’s not the same strategies in my experience - but this is already running long. 
Hope this helps someone else out too! 
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meowzfordayz · 10 months
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when your gut hurts — kyojuro, sanemi, giyuu
Author’s Note: wasn’t sure how to title this in a way that would accurately communicate the subject matter and show up in tags. 😅💩
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when your gut hurts — kyojuro, sanemi, giyuu
Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader
Word Count: ~500
CW: explicit language, poop, vomit
Emergency Request Fulfilled: Hi i’m not sure what this constitutes as a pick me up, emergency or wtv- i’ve been having a lot of abdominal pains and a lot of bowel issues(I haven’t gotten off the toilet in 10 minutes and I keep going between pooping and throwing up) recently and I was just wondering if I could get a HC List on how the Hashira’s would deal with their s/o being stuck in a similar position. I totally get if this is a bit too gross- and it’s 100% ok if you don’t do it but I hope to see it 🙏🤞
~faqs~
Since this is an emergency request (aka ~shorter than “normal” fanfics), I’m going to focus on Kyojuro (fan fave) ❤️‍🔥, Sanemi (my fave) 🤍, and Giyuu (also my fave) 💙
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Very methodical and attentive ☺️
Genuinely unbothered bc he approaches your situation as
“They’re sick, and I get to take care of them.”
Remember how well he handled Tanjirou’s abdominal injury?
That’s him w/ you and your pain + bowel movements 🥺
Among other things, Kyojuro: makes sure there’s plenty of toilet paper in the house 🧻, cooks a simple broth to replenish lost fluids and nutrients (dw, it’s hard to mess up a recipe that’s primarily water), happily unclogs the toilet if/when need be 🚽, willingly takes on emptying-the-vomit-bucket duty 😅, and constantly switches between rubbing your stomach or playing cards/watching shows w/ you — in other words, keeps you company 💞
Depending on how long your symptoms persist, he’ll eventually gently recommend taking you to the hospital
But if you decline his recommendation, then he’s content to continue monitoring you at home instead ❤️‍🔥
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Worried out of his fucking mind 😖
Gives zero fucks about how “disgusting” you currently are
Will immediately shush you and kiss your forehead/nose/cheeks 😤🤍
Altho, Sanemi’s equally likely to tease you, “Whoa, that one sounded especially wet 😏🥴💩,” if you seem to be in the right headspace for banter
Mostly, he’s attempting to lighten the mood so he doesn’t slip back into worrying 😃
Anticipates + takes care of your needs (i.e. liquids, meds, toilet paper, etc) before you do
But in a sort of stoic-nearly-grumpy manner 🙃
*cue Sanemi unceremoniously handing you a glass of lukewarm water*
*cue Sanemi staring at you until you take at least a couple sips*
Again, he isn’t upset
Just worried 🥲
Has to resist asking every other min, “How are you feeling?” bc obvi you’re feeling shitty ☹️
And he trusts you to tell him if you’re approaching the get-me-to-the-hospital lvl of concern
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Ngl, Giyuu’s a lil lost 😵‍💫
He doesn’t mind the pooping and vomiting
Albeit part of him winces every time (he wishes he could take on your pain and discomfort 😓) 
But he is bothered by how ill prepared he feels 😕
Like, is holding your hair back while you puke really helpful? 😕
Does sitting outside the bathroom as you poop—to keep you company—actually comfort you? 😕 Or is it just weird of him? 😕
Should he prepare something for you to eat, or would that prolong your symptoms? 😕
At what point does he insist on taking you to the hospital? 😕
Ofc, he doesn’t voice his self doubt 🫠
Instead, Giyuu does what he would want you to do for him 💓
Admittedly, it takes him a long moment to think about what he would want in your position… he’s used to taking care of himself, and gets a lil emotional when he realizes he gets to lean on you now — and you on him 😭💘
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