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#this is soooo late but we're posting it now who cares
natdu · 4 months
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Could you make an idea where Bokuto, Iwaizumi, and Suna,Wakatoshi find out that Readers had a crush on them in the past.
Hey love sure I can ^^ my pleasure
I only did 3 characters (*¯︶¯*) (it's more about length than anything) oh and you didn't specify the genre so I took some liberties there
Pairings (separate): Timeskip! Ushijima, Bokuto & Iwaizumi x Fem! Reader
Prompt: They find out you had a crush on them in the past
Genre: Angsty (barely there), crack, fluff
Warnings & content: Grammar - cursing- kinda short ugh - Honorifics - Argentinian Tooru 🤌🏻 - Reader is Oikawa's sister on Iwa's
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Ushijima Wakatoshi
"A ton of girls had crushes on you Wakatoshi"
"I find that.... Non probable"
"No no, he's right"
Since Ushijima had finally spare time on his busy schedule he could meet with some of his former teammates and still friends.
Stories came and went, memories, little inside jokes. And finally, the subject of high-school or college crushes, first loves, you name it, came into conversation
"Shirabu probably had more fans in that aspect?"
"With that bowl cut?!?!"
"Because he's a med student you dumbass!"
"No need to yell Semi Semi"
"Stop that!"
"Now now uh.... Wakatoshi are you alright?"
Ushijima looked like he had a revelation or rather as he was depicting some big enigma
"How would those people act when having a crush... On me"
Both of the once spiky haired friends looked at each other, one more amused than the other
"Well it depended on the person Wakatoshi-kun. Some of them were more shy and looked at you from the bleachers"
"I saw one being bolder and leaving some notes on your locker, you never told us about it so we let it go"
Ah yes, notes. Little notepads or post it mainly in green with encouragement words, compliments to his appearance, to his devotion to the sport and so on
"The notes one... I.... I know her"
A dual toned of a "What?!?!" screeched comically to the sky
And there was a sudden change in the vibes of the café you were sitting down, as you felt a shiver running through your spine
"Who's talking shit about me?"
"No one geez. Get to work, we're under the deadline you have to move" Your co-worker said with a whine. You both had taken your laptops to keep on track as the official time at the office wasn't enough
Thankfully you were at least enjoying a little treat before arriving home to deploy into your bed and sleep like a bear but....
People around couldn't help to notice 3 tall grown men, one in rock-punk attire, another with a red buzzcut and THE Ushijima Wakatoshi
Safe to say you're quite clueless when tired and tasting a late night iced coffee with double whipped cream
"That's her?"
"How do you know her?"
Ushijima sighed and didn't take off his gaze from you as he wrote down on something that was in his hands
"She works in the monthly volleyball magazine... We kind of have been finding each other even after school"
"Soooo a sports journalist, nice Wakatoshi-kun, oh?"
The tease didn't reach Ushijima's ears as he was walking up to you with an unusual shy stance and with the something he wrote on clutched in his big hands
He was practically at your nose when you noticed his presence, and his extended hand with a pink post it
"Ushijima?"
"May I give back those words you sent to me?"
Cue two (three with your coworkers) distand gasps and chuckles, in synch to the memories that flew to your mind
"What words do you - Ohhhhh right....."
You coughed awkwardly
"Umm do you know what those meant? Like what little me wanted to achieve?"
Ushijima nodded and sat down by your side with a look you recognised
The one he had when he targeted a place to spike, a goal
"I understand now, quite shamefully.... But the intention is now, I hope, the same"
Your brain stopped working and the only sight was of 16 year old you giving up and just delivering Ushijima the notes in person, not caring since his reaction was always the same: A soft "Thank you, I'll work hard" and sometimes a pat on your head
You were sure your feelings weren't reciprocated. And while it hurt a little, you didn't stop giving the little snippets of your puppy love, just wanting him to feel cared of, feel loved even...
So imagine your poor heart when you saw the post it
A little wobbly heart and a "I liked you too, I still do"
And when you glanced at him you couldn't suppress the palpitations and heat over your face. As if you were a teenager over again
Ushijima wasn't at a better state.
He remembered himself, fixed on his first love: the court and the feeling of victory. He knew you were special to him and vice versa, after all, who would spend so many ink and paper on him? He appreciated the gestures and the fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach, he thought it was because your words were always sincere, without a second intention, he liked that. That was all, he swore
But like some sort of cinematic flashback he realised how many other people made known their affection for him, and while he had noticed them he never felt the same as with yours.
Guess some form of love was what he felt everytime he saw your gifts, even after when he saw you on your classroom or club room. Almost as when he played volleyball with his dad on his little backyard
Adult Ushijima wanted to smack his poor oblivious self, even his self of half an hour ago. Alas it was too late to be at the end of your fondness
"You can always pretend this didn't happen-"
He said, as a way to save you from the embarrassment
But it was your turn to surprise him, as you interrupted him
"Over my dead body"
You saw him smile at your dramatic answer and when he was about to grab your hand your coworker dissipated the little glittery pink atmosphere you had
"Hey earth to my friend? Sorry Ushijima-san I need her to finish this. After that she's all yours"
Safe to say you worked faster than ever with the new hope sown into your heart and the pinky holding yours under the table
Bokuto Kōtaro
Right now the only thing your mind could be concentrated on was the way Bokuto stuffed down your batch of muffins. His squirrel like cheeks making you giggle internally, you couldn't believe this hunk of a man would be enjoying your work so much
"They're always so good! I swear you make the best comfort pastries here!"
You hummed as you gently swiped some of the crumbs plastered on his cheeks "Glad to see they bring such much joy Bokuto-san"
"You sound just like Akaashi, just Bokuto is fine really"
"I refuse to. Remember, it's like we met again"
It was somewhat true. You've had met on a Fukorodani vs Nekoma practice match and while you were cheering for your own team the one who caught your eye was the opposite team's ace.
Crushing on him wasn't difficult
The difficult part was to go up to him and confess. As emotionally intelligent as he was, it seemed like his ability died when you were on his ratio
You gave him a letter on the training camp "Oh thanks for the support! I love encouraging notes!"
Gave him something for valentines, when you sneaked out of school to deliver it "D'awww you didn't have to. I'll share these with the team, there's a lot!"
At one point you just decided to stop. Fortunately at the same time you both graduated and, since you wouldn't follow volleyball steps, you didn't think you would find him again
Except you did, when he was broader, more cheerful, more mature.... Even more handsome.
The little bakery escapade leadered by Hinata ended up in your heart feeling the same twisting motion you did on your cinnamon rolls.
And now you're here, after some months were Bokuto had spent quite literally all of his free time with you. He didn't even eat in all his visits, which you thanked since you didn't want to be on the watch list of his nutritionist
"All of this starting again and stuff, why?"
Golden eyes now watching into your very soul. One that was still yearning
"It's silly Bokuto-San...."
And what's best for the weak of heart than to let go? You're an adult after all, you should be able to talk about feelings and high-school crushes without feeling overwhelmed
"I liked you when we were at school so I wanted a fresh start, a new me that wouldn't be so head over heels for you" you tried to entone in a playful manner
Yeah that's it, this would give you the closure your heart needed
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"
Was the slight exasperation from Bokuto's mouth
"H-huh?"
You were kinda used to his sudden outburst of energy, his expressions of sadness, pride everything else. But this, this was raw pain
His hands were gripping his hair, almost hurting the scalp. And you almost jump on your seat when he let out a heartbreaking whine
"I had the fattest crush on you since I met you" he then cursed softly and hid his face on his hands, his hair going automatically down
"I messed up, didn't I? Why would you be trying to fall out of me? Oh I swear to-" he continued his ramble, loud enough to scape through his fingers
"Bokuto-San"
You called once
"Bokuto"
Then twice
And at the third time his words were almost materializing in the air and clouding the view
"Kōtaro"
Oh that did the trick, his hands on his thighs and his full attention on you
"Y-yeah?"
Were those tears on his eyes? No, never mind, why did he ignored your confessions if he liked you too? You needed answers
"I think I was rather obvious back then, why didn't you say anything?"
His eyes widened once again and grimaced as he let his head hit the table
"I thought you were just being kind and nice" he turned his face and looked at you "Thought you liked Yaku, you know? He seemed more like your type than me" the last part said with a pout
And with the confusion resolved you giggled at you both's naiveness and placed your palm against his chin, taking his face away from the table
"Well, I never gave Yaku a love letter or a basket full of home made pastries for valentines"
"Oh" was his answer as he looked down to the floor with a sheepish expression
"Oh" You mirrored and left a tentative kiss on his cheek. A kiss that made him recover the color of his face and the glint of his eyes
"Is this another way to start again?"
"mmm?"
"Cuz I'd love to take you on a date"
Iwaizumi Hajime
"Iwa-chanIwa-chanIwa-chan"
"God dammit what do you want Oikawa?"
"Le gustabas a mi hermana cuando estábamos en el colegio"
"What the hell is that suppose to mean?!"
Ah yes, another day of Oikawa saying stuff to Iwaizumi in full spanish just to leave him hanging on the meaning. Typical Monday evening at the Oikawa household when he came to visit
"I might ruin your source of income for when you ruin your knees and shoulders"
"And that is?"
"Your face"
Oikawa faked a faint and rested his head on Iwa's shoulder
"Oh poor me with all my money, and my fans y los sobrinos que me hubieras dado si fueras más atento"
"I swear to every good thing on heaven that if you don't tell me what on God's earth that means-"
"Hajime"
Bingo, you could answer his questions. You were Oikawa's little sister and when you finished high school you followed your brother steps to Argentina, being a tad bit more fluent than him even mastering the accent
"Is Tōru making fun of you again?" You giggled as you pushed your brothers face out of his bicep
Yeah, you were sweeter but still an Oikawa. A tease, a menace and the source of pain of his heart
Fuck the cliché of falling for your best friend's sibling. Iwaizumi swore to every deity it wasn't funny, might as well make him fall for a celebrity that studied in the same school, at least his delusions wouldn't be fed everyday
You teased the living lights out of him, but most of your shenanigans were directed at Oikawa so it was a weird alliance between the two of you.
And he couldn't help but hope. You didn't give home made meals to the whole team, just him.... And Oikawa, sometimes the whole Seijoh four.... Yeah that crosses it out
Or when you let him rest his head on your lap--Ah shit you did that with Kyotani once, mostly because his dog had died but nothing else
Hugs? You were physically affectionate with everyone and that just doubled when you went abroad
Special attention? You were basically the non official manager for them and the president of your class, you gave attention to everyone
Third year Iwaizumi concluded his attraction for you was a cruel destiny's game
At least he had your friendship
"I just need you to translate something your idiotic brother has been saying to me"
"Iwa-chan rude!"
"Ah the magic word Hajime"
Seriously?
"Ple-"
"No Hajime, how I taught you"
He just rolled his eyes but a smirk set on his lips
"Por favor"
Oikawa looked like that meme/gif cat who's in shock moving their face around as he hear the soft not so foreign words
"You little traitor you've been teaching him stuff!? IDIOTA!"
Iwaizumi lost your focus as you started bickering with Oikawa, until a tiny eeny secret was dropped
"Why do you care so much Tōru!?"
"I just told him you liked him!"
What. In Iwaizumi's voice
What. In your voice
Mierda. In Oikawa's voice
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I'm kind of a sucker for this trope, when it's reciprocated is super cute (ノ��ヮ`) (tho I feel my writing in this is wack)
Iwa's it's a bit of crack but like, it just flowed jsjs
Hope you're still there anon and that you like this huhu
Natdu
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thegreatmaddu · 6 months
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Rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people.
Ty for tagging me @razmerry you know I'm a freak abt music!!
Included some of my thoughts on the songs but it's almost like 2am so it's a bit incoherent.
1- Frozen Heart - SIAMES
I think I was listening to this a lot when I was making a drawing of my object ocs, Ross and Percy, and it ended up in my on repeat. It also makes me think of Roger, it might be in his playlist now idr. This song devastates me in every possible way and I LOVE it. "Can we leave it behind? Cause I just don't know where we're going..."
2- Digital Silence - Peter McPoland
I just really like this song. It makes me think of Razmerry's patfw a lot (I still want to make a pmv with those characters with this song, btw), but lately I've been relating it a lot to my own ocs, specifically the old people cast of my comic Cursed Lights (except when they were younger :333). "This is the way that it is, this is the way that it always will be.."
3- Need 2 - Pinegrove
I like listening to this song when I go walk outside when the sun is just starting to set- my "sunset quests." I also just find a bit of relatability in this song. "It's nothing worth me saying aloud... so why do I seem to need to?"
4- Brutus - The Buttress
I literally love this song SOOOO much it's unreal. It's so Doggo and Nyx core. I want to make a pmv with this still so bad. Funny because when I first heard it I related it more to an au I had of Doggo, but now it fits very nicely with her character in canon. :) "I don't want what you had- I wanna be you!"
5- KICK BACK - Kenshi Yonezu
Tbh I don't know how this ended up here but this song has come on a lot lately in my liked songs so ig it makes sense??? Chainsawman opening, a banger fr. A very fun song to listen to.
6- Lovers - Kiltro
SWIFTPAW ZOMBIE AU MAPPPPP I had a part in it and was listening to this OBSESSIVELY. This song is seriously so good though, I'm glad the map introduced me to it. Again a song I've related to Ross and Percy, but also Roger CL. Roger. Rogerrrrr :,,,,,( my tragic old man, literally one of my favorite non main CL cast. "...All that's past or what comes next. Lovers, brothers, killers, friends..."
7- EXUVIUM - Crywolf
I'm so. I'm so normal about Crywolf songs. One of my favorite music artists like. Ever. And this song is one of my favorites, it's so insane. I love how bro screams for the last like 40 seconds of the song. Between the fact I listen to the album this is in frequently, and I've been (internally) planning an amv with my oc Smiley with this song lately, it's literally rarely left my on repeat LOLLL. "Lay waste to everything with your light..."
8- Gold Guns Girls - Metric
I've been getting into a lot of Metric songs lately, I really enjoy them. This is one of my favorites! I relate it to Daisy from my comic, as well :) I like to listen to this song when I'm in the shower sometimes, it's a fun sing along song. "I just wanna be your friend, is it ever gonna be enough?"
9- DOUBLE TROUBLE - Odetari
This is one of those songs that I don't really like half of the lyrics to HELP MEEE. I really like the main "Trouble, Trouble" part of the song and like the general pacing and rhythm of it but that's it. Makes me think of Damon and Robin since those two are literally double trouble haha. I didn't realize I listened to it a lot.
10- Song About Me - TV Girl
I like listening to this one, it's fun. I wanted to make something with it with Melody and Mimic, but idk if I ever will finish it :// I really love the little voice in the back that repeats everything. "But who really cares? If it was all in my mind, if it was all in my mind, to begin with."
I do NOT have 10 people to tag haha. Don't feel obligated to do this if I tagged you!
@greatsylveon2007 @rosia4309 @gloomforrestrunes @iyote @cassettepulp
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multifandomloner · 1 month
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I'm really annoyed rn and I don't want to actually fix my problems so vent post :P writing this to a certain person who doesn't actually gaf about me
You got mad at me for not taking care of my health. I think it's fucking hilarious that you chose to care now. What is it convenient now?
Why couldn't you care every time that I messaged you to distract myself from the pile of pills in my hands and the blade pressed against my skin. No when I needed you most what you did give was too little too late.
But now you care. Now you're mad at me for being dismissive of my health. I think it's fucking hilarious. Why would I care if I can't eat or drink without chest pains? I'm fucking suicidal! If my body takes itself out good for me! Then I don't have to do it myself.
You're worried sick about me but you don't notice or care that I didn't eat anything at lunch and I was shaking after. When you know that Ive had multiple eating disorders. Bullshit.
Goddammit if you were actually worried you'd listen to me when I talked instead of just scoffing at me when I tell you that no, I haven't scheduled a doctor's appointment. Cause doctors have failed me so many times that I don't trust them anymore and I told you this but you didn't listen. Because doctors are there to help you say. Maybe they help you but I've been let down time and time again. So yeah I hate doctors. I'm allowed to have an opinion even if it's different from yours.
Y'know I think it's really fuckin shitty of you the way you treat me. Even if someone I hated told me the things I told you I'd still look out for them, but you don't do that and we're supposed to be friends.
You're soooo fuckin sad when I tell you that I almost committed suicide once, but you don't notice the sad smile I give when people talk about suicide. When someone told a story about the dream they had about suicide notes I say there knowing I had mine written. They're fucking ready to go when I am. It's soo obvious that something is seriously wrong. I am showing all the signs.
You just don't care to help me
At least not in the way I need
You just wanna preach your bullshit so you can be the winner and the one who was fucking right. You don't care about what I actually need. No one fucking does. I'm so sick of lectures when I just really need a hug but I have no one I can hug without raising suspicion. And if I raise suspicion there goes my plans and way out.
Fuck this I'm so sick of it.
I would never do this to you.
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mahikamihan · 1 year
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Hello!
Firstly, although I watch basically every crunchcraft stream, sometimes I miss details especially if multiple people are streaming at once, but I'll try my best and maybe have a look at the VODs tomorrow (which I am very happy to do btw)(and I haven't been able to watch any of Miyoungs solo stuff really because she streams too late for me TT ^ TT )
Ok so, I think we're on the same page with the pets- I don't think she ever gave them names- especially the llamas and her parrots- but i'll double check. I didn't watch when she got the cats so idk about that either.
Foolish has visited the deep dark (in the mine near his boat) a couple of times, and came across another portion of it when adventuring with Miyoung and Karl more recently.) But the first time he came across it was when mining for resources with Tina a couple of days after Karl joined- so significantly after his first death. I would agree that he is definitely more careful while in caves now, especially because he knows very little about the deep dark. However, he is very steadfast and curious by nature so he has been taking more risks. Besides just being curious and a bit stubborn, I think his persistance to mine and explore unsafe areas comes from him identifying his role (at least until sam started the iron farm) as the provider for the server- being the most competent minecrafter- risking his life in the pursuit of vital resources to ensure the future safety of his friends, e.g Iron armour for Tina.
The boys are really dedicated to the One Piece bit LMAO, so I predicted with Sykkuno being a marine it would create new tensions. In One Piece, even though there is competition and often battles between pirate crews to claim the title of king of the pirates etc., there is a common enemy in and unspoken alliance against the Marines (who are basically the government/ military) who want to take down all pirates. Therefore, in that way there could still be a significant and central rivalry between pirates like Karl and Foolish, while they acknowledge a wider issue in the common enemy of the marines aiming to stop them both.
Also yes, transcribing Karls book was a lot, but top tip, I figured out that (if you are on laptop/pc at least) you can screenshot/ clip the image of the page from the stream and then input it into a browser image to text converter, that made it a lot quicker.
Hope this helped!
I love talking Crunchcraft and I think sort of unintentional lore is so much more fun to make headcanons and interpret stuff from
I'll check in on ur blog so feel free to ask anything else- or if u just make a post about something I might send an ask with my take/ adding stuff if you'd like
-🦀
omg you don't have to look thru the vods if you're too busy! I'm just naturally curious about the little details 😅 (and yeah, miyoung streams late, it was a pretty dry of streams this morning, so I thankfully got a chance to catch up on some of Miyoung's and Tina's vods while at work)
i go on a pretty looooonnnngg discussion below the line, be warned! (hope you don't mind, I am just in such an inspired mood)
glad to know im not the only one having a hard time with the pet names :') I only knew of muffin bc Tina mentions her when she was talking to miyoung in one of her late night streams, and she got the cats from karl/foolish's streams when they were coming back from adventuring i think? idk if she ever picked names for the parrots/llamas, and she usually mentions them offhandedly in her streams so they're a blink or you'll miss it kind of thing compared to foolish and karl
it's actually SOOOO interesting that they found the deep dark after Foolish's first death, like, especially pretty early on when the revival system was placed! I kinda had a lore-y headcanon similarly that he was pretty level-headed leader and explorer, only much more rebellious and stubborn headed when he first joined the server. Through his first death, he has had this little anxiety that he carries with him about caves and unforeseen dangers now. He get very protective and afraid for his friends when they go in the dark, mining and such (I like a little angst sprinkled here and there). And he make judgements and analyses of other's first deaths as well in order to better himself (the vod reviews). I think crunchcraft!Foosh really understood the weight of his death bc through his hubris (love for treasure and recklessness), he left tina in a dangerous cave alone without a way to safely navigate back home that basically sparked this whole death tax and revival fees. Like imagine having a friend so so integral to your survival and well-being you bend the rules of the universe/server to just have them back. That's some fucking poetry like,,,, what in the accidental characterization that's just ... 🤌*chef's kiss*🤌
:O aaah! i'm so relieved you know one piece bc I would have never gotten that reference! ever! I hope they go through with it in their RP-ing, even a little bit, I would love love love to see it happen and the chaos that would ensue. esp if sykkuno is the opposing force sldklsdk *side eyes his first time meeting rae on mc he blowed her up accidentally*
omg the book thing is genius, im stealing that method now hehehe XD i was typing as i watch the entire time! ;-; i was about to quit thank god he only went up to 18 pages in mc
feel free to check in here every now and then, i think i might engage with more crunchcraft lore knowing that people are getting interested and looking forward to them now and again. I have like, one drabble for miyoung's first day on my queue ready to post and working on foolish's and maybe karl's first days as well. it's suuuuuper fun thinking about how they would be interpreted story/plot-wise!
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Monday
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QOTD: What's your moment embarrassing moment during a time of intimacy?
Mine was today and I've never just wanted to throw myself from a building so bad in my entire life. It was just that bad, we're about to get down to business and we're just chatting because I talk to ease my mind about things, you know? I'm a little new to the sex scene after all... (definitely some details I'll be dishing out later on) and of all things to say, I make a comment about roast beef.
Yall?
WHY DID I NOT KNOW ROAST BEEF WAS AN INSULT?!?!
and now I feel terrible because I've accidentally called someone vag!n@ roast beef when I didn't even mean it like that, I just thought that's what you say when it's brown???? I have some regrets about my life, but what more can I do?!?!? I apologized and they went home, it's out of my hands now. But, on the other hand. Let's talk about men (a small disclaimer, I am a nonbinary pansexual who has never had sex with a guy, my first was literally the person I accidentally called roast beef and I can't stop thinking about it... I really want to crawl into a hole and try to will myself outta existence... Like Plankton when he was trying to think too hard)
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Anyway, men. One of my best friends on campus (more info: I am a college student, and the actual drama that goes on is ridiculous. sometimes you can absolutely tell that everyone here just got out of high school because the way that they act is just WILD, but I digress) one of my best friends' boyfriend is being really shitty. I'll never understand why guys act like it's so hard to break up with a girl when they feel they need to instead of stringing her along and making her feel like there's hope for something when he's seemingly already made up his mind! Like come on, so for the past few months now my friend, we'll call her Serena (named after serena from gossip girl because I've been binging it lately teehee), her boyfriend has just been acting really off. I really wish i could go into detail about all of these things (how they met, what's going on, etc etc., it's important lore but all in good time I guess?) because, sometimes it baffles me how much my college life is actually like the movies???? Like I kid you not guys, it's wild. Ever been to a college Halloween house party? Ever seen one in the movies?
My first one was the previous Halloween and in true cliche freshman college student classic, I was a sexy angel and I got absolutely hammered. The person I was talking to at the time (same person, we're not dating and I'm fine with that. I can't handle the heat so I'll stay outta that kitchen), had to be called because there was some guy that kept following me around the party while I was literally on the brink of passing out, that's how drunk I kinda was. But, that's only one of the best things, shortly after I'd had to leave (my friends decided it was time to go because the party was dead and we were all drunk and bored, not me tho I was enamored by my "friend(we'll call them Pepe from now on, like the meme)" like I was happy to have them around. I'd invited my friends from another college to meet up with me at that party, but they didn't get there until I had to go. So, I'm on my way back to campus and a good 15 minutes into the ride, I go on snapchat just to see that the girl who shares the boarding house (idk what it's called, it belongs to the college I think and they live there) with the host of the Halloween party, her boyfriend is posted up trying to fight someone for flirting with his girlfriend!
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There's always so much drama and so much shit going on, so I decided to maybe start blogging as an outlet? Does anyone still read those? Like honestly, I'd like to know. I've been binging gossip girl lately and that's something that made me want to get into it again. My other blog is a book review blog, but no one cares for that one right now.
I am however going to steal gossip girls' thing soooo
After all this you're probably wondering who i am and what in gods name im even talking about, but that's a topic for next time.
Until then, xoxo Myth <3
Alright, future Myth here and i just want to say, I'm literally in the middle of setting up my blog right? and i go to make food and I come back and check my phone to see a missed call from pepe so I call back and it goes to VM >:( I can't be mad because I get it, they're probably not going to come over for another month again but hot damn.
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evanbuckleys · 2 years
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EDDIE DIAZ in 9-1-1 | 5.09 Past is Prologue
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖
I am so late here and I have like. 10 fics soooo here we go! (in no particular order)
1. Bar Review
This is a passion project with a niche as fuck AU. I dont care. I love these characters and the little world I created for them. (WIP)
2. Three's a Crowd
This one was fun to write because I never write from Reg's POV so it was totally out of my comfort zone. But I also love writing the Black brothers with a good relationship. And cute background Jegulus.
3. Lost and Found
This could probably exist within the same universe as Say You Won't Let Go, but I like that it's its own stand alone one off. Cute flashbacks of wolfstar while Remus is in turmoil. And by favorite ending line to a fic I wrote BY FAR.
4. A Short Holiday
I like angst. I love Fleur and feel like she was done SO DIRTY by the terf who must not be named and that will be a separate post rant BUT. Writing this was also fun, as it was a pairing I literally never write and a cute behind the scenes during the second wizarding war.
5. Say You Won't Let Go
Ok I said Bar Review was my passion project, but really its this one. Long haul cannon compliant wolfstar. My first fic that I started writing to bring me back to fan fics and this fandom. Its cute now but we're in it for the long haul soooo it won't be forever.
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midnight-in-town · 3 years
Note
Patiently awaiting your review of AnE 130, lol. What do you think of Amaimon's connection to Shemihaza/Shiemi, and all that entails (his anger/wrath, heart subjugation of him)? What do you think about how far Shiemi has come as an individual and her character development? Do you think Granny can be trusted? Do you think the Order stands a chance against Satan this early into his appearance? And lastly, do you think we're at "the endgame?"
Hey Anon!! Haha, well, I meant to at first, but I got super busy (I’m changing residency at the hospital) and not a lot is actually happening plot-wise, so I just delayed my reaction. It’s true I hardly reblogged anything though, which is indeed unusual. :))
Anyway, I absolutely loved the chapter, as always and I’ll try to answer your questions with some thoughts: 
“What do you think of Amaimon's connection to Shemihaza/Shiemi, and all that entails (his anger/wrath, heart subjugation of him)?”
This is honestly the main plot point I was interested in. :)) The link between Amaimon, Shiemi & Shemihaza was hinted at pretty strongly in the latest arcs, so it was super nice to finally get to read about it.
However, I still have some questions about it because...
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...“long ago” is pretty unspecific and, since we know Shemihaza gave birth to Nephilims so that someone would inherit her position, her crystallization and taming Amaimon must have happened afterwards, which possibly contradicts the whole “barren and inhospitable land to life”. So this part could be a slight plot hole, but I’ll wait and see. :)
Reading this part though, it made me wonder about if Shiemi’s grandma in ch118 actually tried and failed to do with Lucifer what Shemihaza once did with Amaimon: 
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As we know, ch118 banished Lucifer from Assiah and allowed them around 15 years of respite, so imagine if the Shemihaza who just showed up as reinforcements in ch130 is actually our Shiemi.
In that case, since it seems she’s particularly powerful, maybe this time she’ll manage to subjugate at least Lucifer, which is why she first needed to train with Amaimon. 
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I won’t lie, I’m super excited to see what will happen! ˭̡̞(◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰
“What do you think about how far Shiemi has come as an individual and her character development?” 
Oh, I’ve always been a big fan of Shiemi’s character, because she’s actually more mysterious than the main characters and always was very powerful (maybe more so than the twins), so I’m glad to follow her journey and I wish we could have seen even more of it. 
It can’t be helped that she is evidently being used by the Uzai family though: they’re using her wish to be helpful to the people she loves to make her their pawn, so I hope a side of her is aware of her situation, even if I doubt that even us readers completely grasp how rotten the Uzai family actually is. 
Side note, but I still have the crack theory that Shiemi will encounter ghost/spirit!Yuri who’s probably still wandering in Gehenna because...
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...it seems to me that Shemihaza shares Yuri’s vision that demons and humans can understand each other. Otherwise, if Shemihaza intended on protecting life on Assiah, why not completely destroy Amaimon? 
The fact that she took pity on him (there must have been a reason, something inside of his demon heart that he showed her) is a big indication that demons are capable of “feelings” (Mephisto probably being an exception on some aspects) and could find a way to coexist with humans (since maybe the distinction between Assiah and Gehenna is eventually meant to disappear).
I mean, isn’t that how the True Cross’ Order came to be? way to ruin it centuries later, Uzai family...
“Do you think Granny can be trusted?” 
I sure hope so, at the very least! Shiemi’s grandma died one and half year ago, so her words fit with the timeline. I just am not sure what she meant by being “her guardian spirit”?
Oh well. I honestly think this chapter will gain some meaningful additional pages when the volume it belongs in will be published, so that Sensei can expand a bit on some details. :))
“Do you think the Order stands a chance against Satan this early into his appearance?” 
Well, if Shiemi is the current Shemihaza and stops Lucifer and/or the other Baals, then maybe the twins and Mephisto (?) will manage to stop Satan, or at least to slow him down. 
Too soon to tell, but I gotta say I was very excited to finally meet Beelzebub!!
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He’s definitely one of my fave Baals so far!
“And lastly, do you think we're at "the endgame?"
Ah, so I noticed a lot of readers seem to be wondering lately about whether this is the final arc or not. But the only answer from Kato that we have on the topic comes from the Q/A session for AnE’s tenth anniversary last year. To quote from the post: “We're solidly in the second half by now but it's not, like, ABOUT to end yet.”
Soooo I’m guessing Shiemi’s personal arc and freeing her from the Vatican might come after the Order is done defeating Satan/Lucifer? Since she’s clearly a strong part of the fighting force against them. 
Also, since I believe the twins eventually need to face Mephisto, who could be the big bad as far as they’re concerned, maybe we’ll also have an arc that’s going to focus on that. We shall see. :3
Thanks for always passing by Anon! I hope it answered your questions! Take care and have a nice day! ^3^
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mvsas · 5 years
Conversation
Flora's Chat, April 21, 2005 (4Kidz).
Host says: Good day everyone. Welcome to our second celeb chat session. This time around we have Flora from the Winx Club joining us.
Host says: Flora is here, she's just sitting down with her tea.
Host says: And here she is!
Host says: Welcome Flora.
Flora says: Hello!
Flora says: *Flora smiles waves hello
Host says: We're excited to have you here.
Host says: So I'll open the floor to questions.
Flora says: Thank you!
Winx_girl44 says: Hi Flora I have a question, why don't you have a boyfriend
Flora says: Ummm... (blushing) I guess the right guy just hasn't come along yet!
mg_winxclub says: Hi Flora! I'm your biggest fan! I have to ask you, what's your favorite flower scent?
Flora says: Hi -- ummm, well I really love jasmine, and plumeria
WinxGirl99 says: Flora, i see you have a tulip icon next to your name... What is your favorite flower?
Flora says: I really love gerbera daisies, and I love indigo moon blooms
Flora says: But really, I love all flowers
Queen Renee` Bridget 7891 says: Are you to be queen when you get 20?
Flora says: No -- I am a princess, but my parents still rule the realm.
Flora says: I hope they'll be there long after I turn 20
cutiepieangel_06 says: Flora who do u think is your best friend?
Flora says: Ummm.. well, I can't really pick a favorite -- I like all the girls of the Winx Club
Flora says: I room with Bloom though, so we might be a smige closer
winxNwitches says: Flora what witch do u dislike the most
Flora says: OHHHH -- I think Icy -- well, all of them are pretty bad -- I mean so much bad karma!
fashionfairy says: Flora, what does your planet look like?
Flora says: It's wonderful, and totally green in a lot of places
Flora says: there are lots and lots of different environments on the 5th moon
Flora says: something for every type of plant you can imagine
Txdancer says: so have you see a dragin
Flora says: Yeah -- they have them at Red Fountain, and we've gone to see the stables
lilbabygrl says: When did you first discover your powers?
Flora says: Oh -- I've had them since I was a baby -- everyonbe has them in my realm
winx777 says: which plant food would you MOST recomend for flowers and plants??????
Flora says: well, we have onein my home realm called Fizzle's
Flora says: but I don't think you have it on Earth
Flora says: So I think composted dirt is great, and eggshells in the plant water helps provide minerals too
fashionfairy says: flora, when is your birthday?
Flora says: Mar 16th
winxNwitches says: what is your fave color?
Flora says: I love green (and pink)!
lrb98 says: Flora,what's your favorite animal?Mines a lion!
Flora says: Ohhh -- I love all animals, but I really love dolphins , oh, and butterflies
winx-angel says: Whos your best friend?
Flora says: Umm, like I said before, I think I might be a weensy bit closer to Bloom, 'cause she's my roomie
Juliet says: What your parents names?
Flora says: Well, I just call them Mom and Dad ...
Flora says: And officially they are the High King and Queen of the 5th Moon of Marigold
TattooedPixie says: Flora, did you like to climb trees when you were younger?
Flora says: Of course -- You'd think I was half monkey! Tee hee!
Flora says: There are tons of trees that are excellent to climb in my realm!
winx777 says: I don't like climbing trees. I think it hurts them!
Flora says: Well, the ones on my realm can talk, and they don't mind
Flora says: as long as you don't break their branches, or scratch them.
Flora says: So I think it's alright if you ask them
mg_winxclub says: Have you heard from the Junior League lately?
Flora says: Yep -- I try to keep in touch
Flora says: They're always doing such great things for the Black Mud Swamp, so I'll visit from time to time
mg_winxclub says: That's great!
wiggels says: flora what do you like the best about alfea?
Flora says: I would have to say the other girls -- I mean, really -- they're what makes it so awesome
Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163: Have you ever been to Earth?
Flora says: Nope- not yet , but maybe someday I can go
wiggels says: i wish i was a winx girl
mewichigotomboy says: whats your fave subject at alfea
Flora says: It's a lot of fun!
Flora says: Umm -- I would say, without a doubt...
Flora says: Potions, 'cause we get to use lots of herbs in class
Glam Gal: What's your fave thing to do in your free time?
Flora says: I generally like hanging out with my plants -- I adore taking care of them
Flora says: so I do that a lot
Flora says: and I love working on new potions to help them grow
Glittergurl says: does it feel weired to be a winx
Flora says: Not at all -- I mean, I have had Winx all my life, so I have never been different
Flora says: so it's not at all wierd to me
Flora says: I think it would be way harder for someone like Bloom
#1Flower says: How old were you when you first joined Alfea
Flora says: who didn't know she had winx
Flora says: Oh -- I was 16 when I started here
Chibi Naru says: Flora, may I ask you if you enjoy blasting things? -attempts the nice tactic-
Flora says: Well -- I kinda like it a little bit, but then I soemtimes feel bad about it after
Flora says: Sorry for the poor spelling -- I am a little nervous!
mg_winxclub says: Do you have a favorite holiday Flora?
Flora says: Earth Day -- and it's tomorrow
winx777 says: DO you LOVE spring?
Flora says: I do -- it's when everything comes out in bloom when realms have seasons
Flora says: apparently Tecna's realm doesn't have them
Josie says: do boys have wings
Flora says: I think there are some realms where they do
ShaRinee' says: When you get ready to fight do you fell nervous?
Flora says: Yeah -- I get really really nervous -- I think it would be better if we didn't have to fight at all
Flora says: I mean - everyone could just chill and talk it out y'know
Flora says: but that doesn't always happen
winxNwitches says: Whats your favorite food?
Flora says: I love anything organic! And vegatarian!
Flora says: oops -- spelled that wrong too sorry
mewichigotomboy says: what do you think of the message board
Flora says: I think it's wonderful!
Flora says: It's cool to check out what everyone has posted
Josie says: do you have a chrush on anyone at red fountin please try to answar
Flora says: sorry to say... no. I mean, I like the guys as friends, but right now, that's about it
Glittergurl says: do u like music
Flora says: Yeah I do! And there have been a lot of studies done to show how music helps plants grow
Flora says: -- so does talking to them btw...
Flora says: So I'm all for it!
flowersfall says: whats your favortie plant please answer
Flora says: I love lots of different plants -- but I really like a tree called the madrone
Flora says: I think it grows on Earth too --
Flora says: It can shed it's bark, and it has leaves that stay green all year long
winx777 says:
Catrina says: Flora, my back hurts and itches sometimes. Am I growing wings? I thought I'd ask you since your a farie.
Flora says: Ummm -- I'm not sure -- It never hurt when it happened to me -- I just got a tingling feeling,
Flora says: but if it hurts, maybe you should see your doctor...
Princesss says: i really like this flower called the periwinkle flower.it has a 99% chance of saving somebody fom cancer.i learned about it in skool.
Flora says: I heard about that too.... There are tons of plants that can help people in sooo many ways
Flora says: and we're just learning about all the wonderful, magical things they can do.
Zoey91 says: Was it hard to turn Merta into a girl from a pumkin?
Flora says: Yeah -- it took a long time and I had to concentrate harder than I ever had before
Flora says: I almost didn't think I was going to be able to do it...
Flora says: but I managed to do it
Winx_girl44 says: What would you give to your mom on Mother's Day?
Flora says: well, when I'm at home, I love to make her a garland of flowers and take her breakfast in bed.
Flora says: I know she gets all kinds of gifts, being a queen and everything, but she says she likes that gift the best
lrb98 says: what's your favorite type of tea?
Flora says: I love almost all herbal teas, and I really like licorice
Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163: Do you like marigolds?
Flora says: I do -- I was just reading about them in my book!
Flora says: I think they are really special little plants.
Flora says: Did you know that most spieces of marigolds are edible? _ the flowers I mean
Flora says: Just be sure you know for SURE they are marigolds before you try eating them -- oh and make sure they're not sprayed
Zoey91 says: want is your favorite class and why?
Flora says: I Love potions -- and like I said before, I like it because we do a lot of work with herbs
IceAngel says: Do you have pestisides on your planet for your plants?
Flora says: No -- they're not allowed on my planet, we have different ways of controlling the bugs
Flora says: like letting lady bugs eat aphids
Glam Gal says: Do you think the girls on the message boards (And me) could have Winx>
Flora says: and that's part of your winx
winx-angel says: I really need help with choosing a flower for my mom's B-day...
Flora says: oh --- well -- roses are a wonderful way to say I love you, but a single stem orchid is great as well -- plus they last a long time when they are cut
Flora says: the orchids - not the roses, I mean
Josie says: flora,please answar me um i planted for get me nots what kind of music would they like please answar back asap if you can
Flora says: umm -- well, most plants seem to really like any type of classical music,
Flora says: but studies have shown they don't respond as well to hard rock (sorry all you hard rock fans!)
Host says: Just a reminder that Flora can't answer everyones question but she'll do the best she can.
uzma44 says:
mg_winxclub says: Sorry for asking so many questions, but I'm such a huge fan, have a Winx Club website and everything. I have to run, but I'm SOOOO HAPPY you were here today to chat with us! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flora says: Thank you -- and everyone for participating!
Flora says: It's so sweet that you like me!
Flora says: *Flora blushes
Glam Gal says: I'm moving to a new house soon... I;m gonna really miss my current house. Can you please help me stop my fear of missing my house? It's close enough to still stay in my current school so please no help saying good-bye, but can you help me not miss my current home?
Flora says: Well, I wish I could make you not miss it at all, but it's really natural that you do miss it
Flora says: but make your new home your own by decorating your room
Flora says: with stuff that you really love. Plant some new friends, then go outside, and try to make some human firends too.
Flora says: Hopefully you'll feel at home in no time. Hope that helps
lrb98 says: What's better-Tofu or pizza?
Glam Gal says: Thanks Flora! SO SORRY FOR SORTA BEGGGING!!! *Blushes even more*
Flora says: well -- tofu has more protein in it, and can be a really healthy choice (and it can taste pretty yum too!),
Flora says: but that's not to say I don't like a good slice from time to time
lilbabygrl says: Do you like your name?i really like it.
Flora says: Thank you -- I do too -- it used to be my great grandmothers name
Flora says: some people think it's old fashioned, but I like it
lilbabygrl says: do you enjoy Alfea?
Flora says: I do -- it's really a great place to be
Flora says: I learn tons of stuff in class, and most of all, I love my friends there
neonbluemoon says: hey flora my friend katie thinks yur the coolest shes upset cause her pc is broken so she cant talk to you do you wanna say anything too her?
Flora says: Sure -- I Katie -- sorry you couldn't come -- maybe see ya posting on the boards -- Peace out Katie!
lrb98 says: Do you like scary movies?I do!
Flora says: No -- they kinda freak me out -- so they're not my fave
Flora says: I'm more a romantic comedy type girl myself
friendsmagic says: Do you like learning new spells and stuff?
Flora says: Yeah -- I really like learning new stuff -- and you never know when something you learned might come in handy
Zoey91 says: has kiko eaten any of your plants?
Flora says: Yep -- Kiko is one hungry little bunny!
Flora says: He tried to eat my talking plant one time, and the plant screamed and nearly woke up the whole school!
Flora says: I decided it was best to plant him some carrots of his own
Flora says: That way he didn't eat mine!
penaazkhan says: Hi bloom
neonbluemoon says: flora if you liked a guy what would he be like?
Host says: Bloom's not here
Host says: That was two weeks ago. :)
Flora says: well, I would like a guy who was sweet and thoughtful
Flora says: And I guess I would prefer it if he liked nature too,
Flora says: Being cute wouldn't hurt either, but looks aren't everything
IceAngel says: What do you think of Riven?
Flora says: Umm.. sometimes he pulls this attitude, and I can't say I like that...
Flora says: but I've also seen him be ok too...
Flora says: so, let's just say I'm undecided
neonbluemoon says: flora i think yur so cool i like everything about you could you tell tecna i like her ALOT to?
Flora says: Sure I will, and thanks...
fashionfairy says: Flora, do you like fashion?
Flora says: Yeah -- I do like fashion, and I really like environmentally conscious stuff
fashionfairy says: I love your outfits the best!
Flora says: like organic cotton, and linen
lrb98 says: what's a lyrid meteor shower?
Flora says: oh -- that's a meteor shower - Lyrid is the name of it.
Flora says: Tecna says it's named after a greek goddess Lyra
Flora says: and there are tons of shooting stars when the showers are on
Flora says: Really beautiful to watch!
shiara says: do you think that the witches will ever leave Bloom alone?
Flora says: Gosh -- I'm really not sure.
Flora says: I really hope they will, but they really want her powers!
mewmewmint says: You are so smart, Flora! Especially about plants and flowers!
Flora says: thanks
shimmeringstar says: what is yor favorite type of music
Flora says: ummm.. I like a lot of stuff -- right now I'm listening to reggae
Flora says: I like it cause it's pretty up beat
Flora says: I find that helps me to stay optimistic
nicole2005 says: Why is the dragon fire is important?
Flora says: well, the dragon fire was the same powersource used by the Great Dragon, who created the magical universe
shiara says: Is there a Alfea Elementary school?
Flora says: No -- mostly people go to elementary school in their home realms
Flora says: they're too young to go to schools that are away from their parents
Flora says: and Alfea is a boarding school -- so you need to be older
Petti_Angel says: What would you do if one of your friends are in trouble?
Flora says: I would help them! I would do anything I could to help my friends
Winx_girl44 says: Do you like the theme song in your show? 'Close your eyes, and open your heart-'
Flora says: I do like that song -- because it really talks about what finding your Winx is all about
Flora says: you've got to trust and believe in yourself for good things to happen for yourself
Host says: Good questions everyone. Flora has to leave pretty soon. But we have time for two more questions.
shiara says: I am in my school musical and I am the lead opening night is tomarrow and I am so nervouse can u give me advice?
Flora says: That's fantastic!
Flora says: YOu'll be great -- I know you've probably practiced a lot -- so now you just have to believe in yourself
Flora says: you go girl! ( I hope you are a girl -- if not sorry -- you go boy!)
shiara says: thanx see you all later and I am a girl
Flora says: Good luck!
lrb98 says: What would you chose?-POwer or friends?
TattooedPixie says: Good luck Shiara and congratulations on getting the lead opening! You must really be great
Flora says: Hahaha -- Bloom said someone asked her that too -- and my answer is the same -- friends -- anyday of the week!
winx-angel says: Yep, good luck shiara!
Host says: Sorry everyone. I know you have more questions, but Flora needs to go now. It was a great chat session.
Host says: Thank you to everyone for coming and thank you Flora for answering our questions.
Flora says: Thanks everyone. It was really great being here.
Host says: I hope you can come visit us again another time.
Flora says: I was kinda nervous -- but everyone here was soo nice -- thanks
Flora says: Thanks a lot!
Flora says: *Flora smiles and waves goodbye
Host says: *Host waves goodbye.
Host says: Keep your eyes on the message board for further announcements.
Host says: We will have more celeb chats with others in the near future.
Host says: We hope to get Stella next time!
9 notes · View notes
str-spangled-banner · 5 years
Text
After War — Bucky x OC
MASTERLIST  — ASK/REQUEST  — FAQs
Summary:  Ellie goes to the group therapy sessions Sam still holds whenever he finds time in between Avengers-business. Suffering from PTSD, she struggles to build a post-war life for herself as she can’t trust her brain to not mistake friend for foe. It’s at those sessions she meets Bucky who seems just as damaged by the past as she is.
Words: 3 272
Warnings: PTSD, talk of war, delusional episode
A/N: I... Ehm... I haven’t been on this blog for a year...soooo.... hyello. This is a super old thing I said I was gonna write in this post, and I guess better late than never? Right???
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"My body is here, at home, but I still feel as if my mind is over there. I still feel as if I'm breathing in the dust underneath the burning sun, having to hold innocent at gunpoint because you have to determine everyone as the enemy. Sometimes it feels like if I reach over my shoulder, I'll feel the rifle right there, just waiting to be used..."
"Your mind is there." Sam agreed, attempting to gain eye contact with the young veteran who couldn't be much older than her, if not the same age. "Your mind is still at war, and it's your job to bring it peace. It is amazing that you can acknowledge the fact that you are not at war, Lawrence, because not all people can. Acknowledging your struggles is a far bigger step on the road to recovery than you can imagine. Being man enough to admit your own weaknesses is your first and greatest step..."
Sam's eyes scanned over everyone and stopped at her. "And being woman enough, of course." He added, causing a few of the other veterans to look her way. "What's your name?"
"Eleanor Conway, but I'd prefer Ellie, sir."
"How many tours?"
"I was First Sergeant in the Air Force, sir. Tours was not something I really did. I flew CSAR op's for three years before moving to Special Operations for my last two years of service."
"Combat search and rescue and special operations? That's some heavy weights you had to lift." Sam kept looking at her, trying to figure out what kind of a person she was. It was her first time in the meeting. He had received her order from court a week prior, giving her the option to either attend his group meetings or spend four months in jail, and that if she was to not show every Thursday night it was Sam's duty to report so.
From what the court order stated, Ellie had been approached by a police officer after she had been idle in her car at a traffic light for over ten minutes. When the officer had knocked on her window, she had tackled him to the ground by throwing the car door open, launched out of her car and on top of him, restraining his arms, only to fly off of him after a few seconds and apologize frantically. Sam didn't need to know much more than that to know that Ellie was yet another victim of post dramatic stress.
He never judged those who came in to the VA office for his sessions, but still he would never have thought she had been such a high rank in the Air Force, and even more surprised was he that she had been doing rescue missions, and special operations on top of that. Those were far from the easy services that the Air Force and the military provided. It would have been strange if anyone made it through all of that without at least a single scar, both physical and not.
"It was, but it's over now." She kept things short and cold, expressing her emotions being something strange and unpleasant in her world. Feelings makes you vulnerable, and vulnerability is not something you can afford when at war, that is something Ellie learned on her first day in the army, and it refuses to leave her mind no matter how much she tries to distance herself from her army days. That fear of being vulnerable latched onto her like a leech, even as war was in her rearview mirror.
"Do you still feel like your mind is at war?" Sam wondered, referring to the previous veteran who had spoken to the group about his struggles.
"No. I'm here." She assured, almost sounding defensive. Sam kept looking at her, trying to think of something to keep the conversation going, but it was clear to him that she wasn't very comfortable with being open, and he just so happened to catch a glimpse of the watch at his wrist after noticing that.
"Alright, that's about enough talking for one day, I'd say. Now, as you all know we work as a team around here, and so what we do is I will give you guys the next half hour to mingle around and find a partner. Why we do this is because it helps us to build a relationship with someone without having to explain or feel embarrassed about our past to them. It's good if you exchange numbers. If you’re having a rough day then maybe you could call your partner and just grab a beer at a local bar or something. It’s little things like that which will help you in the long run, perhaps especially a beer and watching the game on a flat screen." Sam smiled, earning a few laughs from around the room. "You make the rules. Either you want to let your partner into your life or you don't, and whatever path you choose is alright, but each week I'd like you to spend at least fifteen minutes talking to your partner and see how yore both doing, alright? Okay then, let's go. The coffee is going cold."
People began to rise from their seat, heading toward the table with coffee and some water. Ellie remained seated, looking over at the veterans who so easily began to talk amongst one another. They felt comfortable with their own kind, and even though they had never spoken to one another before, they all shared their military past, and somehow that seemed to be enough for them. She didn't recognize the same sense of familiarity. She had worked with others a lot in the Air Force, but when she was flying, she was alone in that plane.
Ellie turned to look down at her hands, but as her eyes moved across the circle of abandoned chairs, she noticed that one wasn't abandoned at all. About five seats to her left sat a man that she hadn't been able to see during the session. His hair was long and dark brown and tied into a knot underneath the rim of his baseball cap. He had his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket, and as she looked at him, he noticed her movement and looked over at her only to create eye contact.
Her eyes moved away lazily, not caring that the man clearly had caught her looking at him. She simply sunk down in her seat and let her head fall back, eyes glued to the ceiling. It didn't take long for her to hear the sound of a chair shrieking against the floor to her left and footsteps approaching. The man she had looked at for just a moment sat down in the chair next to her, eyes looking across the room whilst hers were still just looking up.
"I'm Bu-"
"Not interested in having a partner, or whatever." She interrupted him. "Find someone else."
"Who the hell says I want you as a partner?" The man questioned, causing Ellie to raise her head slightly and look at the guy who had no issue with being bold, it seemed.
"What do you want then?" She asked in confusion, not in a rude tone, but not in a particularly friendly one either.
"Well, I was about to introduce myself when some a-hole cut me off." He explained in a cold tone, looking rather annoyed by her dismissiveness. They both maintained eye contact, not saying anything for a few moments, before Ellie eventually reached her hand out towards him.
"Ellie, but you probably knew that already."
"Bucky." He took her hand and shook it when suddenly she noticed that his left hand was being concealed by a black glove. She could only assume he was covering a military injury, just like so many others do after they've served and just like a couple of others in the room. "I'd say it's nice to meet you, but I can't tell at the moment."
"Wow... I see how it is." Ellie pulled her hand back, tightened her lips and looked ahead of her instead of at him. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he could tell she understood the humor to his words. "It's cool. You don't need to like me."
"Oh if we're talking about liking you, then the answer is a definite no."
"Alright, ha ha... I get it, I was an ass for wanting you to leave me alone. Anything else?" She rolled her eyes back to him.
"We should exchange numbers." He changed the subject, taking her slightly by surprise. "And no, I'm not saying that because you're the only girl in here. I'm saying it because I know Sam better than anyone else here and I know he'll never leave me alone if I don't get one of these partners, nor you, for that matter."
"So we're forced to give our number out and socialize at this place?" She asked, one eyebrow raised questioningly.
"No, but you'll have Sam begging you to do it every time you come here, which is twice a week last time I checked." Bucky placed his elbow on the back of his chair and laid his right leg over his left one leisurely.
"That does sound annoying, I'll admit." She confessed before looking over to Sam who stood against a wall in the room to get an overlook of everyone. He seemed to look towards the door in the moment, but Ellie could tell he was watching her and Bucky in the corner of his eye.
"Alright, give me your number." Ellie pulled her phone out from her pocket, unlocking it and opening up the contacts before handing it to Bucky.
"Really?" Bucky furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"You wanna suggest something and then question me when I agree to it?" She waved the phone in his face until he grabbed it. He wrote his number down and named himself before handing it back to her.
"I left my phone at home so if you could just write your number down..." His words faded out as he noticed the strange look she was giving him. "What? You're not gonna give me your number?"
"I have yours. That's more than enough." She shoved the phone back into her pocket, crossing her arms afterwards and leaning back into her seat.
Bucky had just been about to give a witty comment. Across the room, Sam had just been thanked by the veteran who had shared his story before Ellie. By the table of coffee, two men had just realized they both came from the same, small, town in the midwest. It was in that moment that a veteran across the busy room — military jacket clad in pins and medallions — moved underneath one of the ceiling lights. The lamp shone down onto one of his pins and the shiny surface reflected the light from above, flashing across Ellie's eyes.
Her mind stoped. Her entire body froze. It was as if this giant, complex, assembly, of cogs and wheels had been spinning perfectly when someone abruptly jammed a metal rod in the middle of it, causing the entire mechanism to jolt to a stop, jerking viciously as it was trying to spin but couldn't.
Ellie flew back with a vicious cry, the folding chair beneath her being kicked to the side. Her hands were up ahead of her as if she was holding a rifle and she aimed for the veteran with pins across his chest and arms. The chair she had kicked away then lost balance from the sudden move and folded together only to slam against the floor with a loud bang. She let out another panicked grunt and aimed at the ground where the still piece of furniture laid before aiming back to the veteran.
"Sniper... Sniper..." She repeated the words to herself over and over. Her hair hung messily over her face and only one eye was peaking out, her head leaning against her arm as if looking through the scope of the rifle she knew to be holding. In her mind, it wasn't imaginary. She could feel the weapon in her hand. She could feel the coolness of the metal trigger against the pad of her right index. The room wasn't a room anymore but it was the desert, and in the distance there was mountains. In a small crevasse in the midst of the orange rocks there was the reflection of a sniper rifle scope, and she had her eyes locked on the enemy.
"Out." Sam called, eyes open wide and locked onto Ellie. As no one moved, he turned his attention to the twenty people still in the room. "I said get out."
People started to hurry for the doors. The only one that didn't seem to be in a rush was Bucky, who still sat in the chair that had been right next to hers. He looked at Ellie with parted lips and an empty stare as her head snapped from side to side as she paranoiacally saw more and more threats around her. His eyes moved to Sam for a moment who was just pushing out the last people through the door.
"Barnes..." Sam said after spotting Bucky still seated only a few feet away from Ellie, nudging his head towards to doors he stood by, hoping Bucky would get the hint and leave with the others.
"What's happening to her?" Bucky asked, eyes still on Ellie, or whatever was left of her with them since her mind was clearly elsewhere.
"PTSD..." Sam sighed, walking quickly cross the room to retrieve his phone. He knew it said nothing in the court order or the emails he had gotten associated to Ellie's case about how to deal with her episodes, but even though he knew that he wanted to double check.
"No, this is something else..." Bucky disagreed. He knew PTSD, and whatever Ellie was going through was not that.
"She's only here because she goes to jail otherwise." Sam said in a stressed tone, knowing he probably shouldn't share the information with Bucky. "She attacked a police officer during one of her episodes and either she comes here to try and get better or she goes to jail."
"What is she doing?" Bucky rose from his seat, taking a few steps back to give Ellie some room.
"The damn girl has spent five years assigned to amongst the most dangerous fields within the military and she's not even twenty five years old. I think you can imagine a couple of things that might have traumatized her." Sam spat back, almost a little annoyed by how ignorant Bucky seemed, even if that wasn't the case.
"Ellie?" Sam gave up on the emails he had received about her and instead walked up to her slowly, watching her every move to see her reaction. Her head snapped to him, the lines seen through her scope crossing one another in the center of Sam's head. Although there was no weapon and Ellie was the only one who could see it, even Sam could tell that her aim was impeccable. "Eleanor?"
She was still just mumbling the word "sniper" on an endless loop, eyes glazed over as she was looking at something completely different than what both Bucky and Sam were.
"Ellie? Can you hear me?" Sam kept trying to get some sort of contact, but she was so lost in her mind she couldn't even hear him. Bucky was quiet and simply observing the situation before him. He did try and imagine what Ellie had been through, and none of it was pleasant. He had never heard of someone so young being such a high rank and doing such serious missions, and it threw him off a little. When he looked at her it was as if his brain couldn't puzzle her and her military background together. She just looked like a normal girl.
"Ellie you need to calm down, okay? You're in the VA office, back home. You're not in the military right now." Sam continued his efforts in vain. She couldn’t hear him. She wasn’t even in the same country as him in her head. She was alone. Over intercom she heard her commanding officer every now and then, and in the distance there was the enemy, but other than that she was on her own.
“Target in sight, awaiting orders.” Ellie continued to mumble. Sam had struggled to catch what she had said, but Bucky had picked up on her radio message that she believed she was sending her officer. It gave him an idea, one that he didn’t run by Sam before testing.
“Abort. For Sergeant Conway, I repeat, abort. Target misidentified. That’s one of ours, Sergeant. Stand down. Over.” Bucky spoke with a sternness in his tone and his eyes remained locked on Ellie the entire time. Sam glanced between Bucky and Ellie, both surprised by Bucky’s initiative but also impressed by his clever idea, even if he’d never admit that to him.
“Sergeant Conway reporting. Copy that, standing...” Ellie began to blink quickly and her eyes slowly lost that emptiness in them that they’d just had. “Standing down... I...”
“Ellie?” Sam tried again, his voice low and soft as not to startle her in any way. “Are you alright?”
“I’m...” She felt light headed. She felt really light headed. Her vision was blurry and the room seemed to fade between the actual room in the VA office and the desert, patches of the scorching mountains blotting her field of vision before they slowly began to grow dark and blank. The now black patches continued to expand and covered more and more of the room before her until finally, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her body seemed to have been turned off by a switch.
“Oh shit-“ Sam dashed forward to catch her limp body but it was Bucky who just barely managed to catch her in time before she would have crumbled helplessly to the ground. He quickly laid her on the floor and backed away, not comfortable being so close.
“I’m calling 911.” Sam sighed as he felt the worry slowly subside, even if it was still very much present. With her passed out, at least she didn’t have to suffer through the pain of embarrassment he knew she undoubtedly would have when she realized they had witnessed an entire episode of hers.
She remained unconscious for the twenty minutes it took the ambulance to arrive, and she had yet to awake when the paramedics loaded her into the back and shut the doors behind them before driving her to the hospital. Sam and Bucky remained standing in silence on the steps leading up the the entrance of the office after they’d taken her away, neither of them knowing what to say after the whole ordeal. Eventually, Sam admitted to how tired he was and that he just wanted to go home. He told Bucky to take care before they parted ways. Sam got into his car and drove off whilst Bucky decided to walk to his tiny apartment. It was a thirty minute walk, but he felt like he needed it. Seeing Ellie like that had somehow rattled him up a bit and an uneasy feeling nestled in the back of his mind.
Her mind and actions were not her own after the war she’d been fighting—a situation he found all too familiar for his liking. Perhaps they weren’t as different as he had first thought, him and Ellie?
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So, as “usual” (can I still say that after having been away for over a year?) I love hearing what you think, so please do share your thoughts!
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