#this is literally how i feel at any given moment
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When do you think in the family au that Gojo realized he was in love?
I live for your au btw, I’m patient and respectful, you should never feel pressured to update or post!!! But also I literally check every day to see if you graced us with more 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
satoru is sitting on the love seat in the common room, pouting.
okay, sure. he’s known for his ability to talk until the sun goes down, but honestly, he’s not that bad. really, he could talk forever, about whatever he wanted, to anyone.
but he was only explaining the mechanics of infinity. for… a half an hour, maybe.
his friends suck.
what could be more interesting than him? nanami’s recipe for onigiri?
still, when you walk over to him, flopping into the space next to him—which is occupying his foot, thank you—he brightens just a little bit.
is it so bad to want attention?
“you know,” you start, while satoru tries to dig his foot from under you. “if you actually listen to people when they talk, they’re usually more inclined to listen to you.”
“oh, is that how it works?” satoru grunts. “i had no idea.”
“clearly.”
“you listen to me, even though i’ve barely ever spoken to you.”
you raise a brow at him. “do you have amnesia? you sit outside my door on the weekends for hours until i let you in. i’ve heard you singing to yourself out there.”
“that’s not a conversation.”
you nudge him, a lax smile on your face. “being interesting also helps, if you want people to listen to you.”
“hey, i’m interesting!”
“mm…” you nod your head, looking away subtly. “for sure, satoru.”
“you’re supposed to be my friend, you know? friends don’t bully each other.”
you look back at him, tilting your head. “that must be why you don’t have any.”
at that, satoru’s lip twitches a little. but it’s not because he finds you amusing, no. it’s just that… sometimes you look at him and he—
it doesn’t matter.
“did you come over here just to torment me?” he pouts, arms still crossed. but his eyes are much more active now, his face trying to be a sly thing that it isn’t.
“no, you just looked a little lonely.”
“awww,” satoru leans down so you can see his eyelashes fluttering at you. “were you worried about me?”
“i could just already hear the complaining,” you retort, rolling your eyes again.
“are you psychic, too?”
“yup,” you pop, grabbing something from behind your back. “which is why i also brought you this.”
you hand him a blueberry ramune, which just so happens to be his favorite.
satoru gasps like a child being given their favorite toy, taking it from you immediately. he opens it, and then pauses. “wait… what’d you do to this?”
you scoff. “geez, satoru. do you get poisoned often?”
“i have many enemies.”
“oh, right. i forgot. you’re well hated.”
satoru smirks, leaning almost over you. “not by you, though. you like me.”
you push him away with a finger. “you just looked pale. like, even more pale than usual.”
“that’s rude.”
“drink up,” you tell him, but only as you try to grab it from him. satoru relishes the feeling of you leaning over him. “we wouldn’t want you to go thirsty,” you say, but with a sickly sweetness.
“this is not making me feel any less threatened.”
you laugh, sitting back.
“you even got my favorite one, too.”
“that’s just a coincidence. though, you would like the worst flavor.”
“this is nearing harassment,” satoru says. “if you’re stalking me, i’m going to have to tell yaga.”
this time when you laugh, you snort, and you lean over again, but only to clutch your stomach.
satoru smiles along with you, and he feels… almost alive. more than a vessel of power, for just a moment.
and yeah, maybe it’s not just attention that satoru likes.
maybe it’s you.
#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#a typical family
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OKAY I HAD TO HIT YOU W THIS BC I NEED THIS TO COME TRUE 🗣🗣‼️‼️
AcademicRival!Miguel x AcademicRival!reader
where they will do quite literally ANYTHING (legally) POSSIBLE to one up each other.
whether their petty rivalry began in high school or first year of uni/college, IDC- but they absolutely despise each other.
and!!! at some point down the track, they forgot why they were beefing in the first place, only for it to start stemming from a place of 'jealousy' (yk how sometimes jealousy is actually feelings of romantic interest in disguise,, yeah, that) and it gets to the point where they are quite literally making it all their friends' problem bc of it.
like i can imagine reader drinking something that Miguel sees and Miguel going 'i need to have this all the time and sell it out so reader can never have any' and Peter is like '???', or reader finding out Miguel got a certain mark and goes 'nobody speak to me for a month i have to understand everything about quantum physics before that smug asshole opens his mouth' and Jess is like '??? just kiss, fym??'
and then they finally have a moment where they have no choice but to rely on each other- whether Miguel's car breaks down on the side of the road reader happens to drive by and she takes him to his, or if reader desperately needs help in a situation and immediately calls him bc she knows he'll pick up bc she needs scary dog privileges and thats HIM so then they end up having a moment of reflection together with either super fluffy smut or absolute debauchery and fluffy aftercare i totally dont mind either way.
IDK do you know what i mean??? 🫣🫢🤭
anyway LY BLUE-BLUE, thank yew for letting me ramble on 🤍🩵
Are you asking me to write this? 🧐 (I shall add it to the pending ideas list just for you 🐰🩵)
I wrote that as a reply as soon as you sent it, but now I have more ideas that I wanna yap about to go along with this.
SO!! You already have a rivals, enemies to lovers trope going on. What better way to make it even more fun than to add the stoic x chatty dynamic???
Like I’m imagining the reader and Miguel first meeting in middle or high school. He’s a transfer student that’s immediately making the top grades and people are like where tf did he come from?? Reader doesn’t really think anything of it, she just carries on with her school life, chatting away (and getting in on the gossip about Miguel).
It’s not until he ends up in the same class with reader one semester (probably in high school) that reader is finally able to be in close contact with him. He’s so quiet and a little boring, but there’s always random girls coming in and out of the classroom to attempt to chat to him.
They’re always bringing snacks or sweets for him. He always turns them down with a “No thank you. I don’t like chocolate.” type of response. (What he thinks to be polite and cordial)
The guys in the class think he’s a huge jerk. The girls in the class still fond over him. You think he’s an oddball, a weirdo. But you really have no solid information to justify it.
It’s not until one day that the teacher asks this obscure question that he pisses you off. (I havent thought of a weird question yet tho). Everyone else has given crude or stupid answers, riling each other up and joking. You raise your head to give the most out-of-the-box, yet plausible answer that leaves the teacher impressed and the class laughing in shock. Miguel scoffs and debunks it so fast, that you start to feel like one of his rejected groupies. If you thought the laughter for your answer was loud, the laughter for his sounds like the crowd in a football stadium.
You’re embarrassed but you don’t really show it. You just brush it off and joke with everyone else like usual.
Then, one of the class’s first huge tests come. You’re gunning for the number 1 spot although you figure it won’t be too hard with half of the room being class clowns and the other half not giving af. You read over the material once and already have a good grasp on it, so you joke around with everyone else. There’s rap battles and TT routines. You guys even manage to get the teacher in on some of them. From the front of the room, you can see Miguel glancing back at you with such a sour look on his face. Wtf was his deal??
Test day finally comes. You’re the first to turn yours in with a smug smile on your face. You even take a nap until the next bell.
You’re on cloud nine for about a good week. Although, every time you open your mouth in class, Miguel looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Then, the time came for the teacher to hand out the papers. He was pretty theatrical and loved to announce who got the highest score.
You were gearing up for him to say your name. And you don’t know of you’re crazy, but you’re certain your mom didn’t put “Miguel O’Hara” on your school registration form.
You frown as you come back to reality, watching as teacher handed him is paper. From your seat, you can see the bright red 100 in the corner, a smiley face to adorn it.
Then the teacher hands you your paper. A 99.5. Just 0.5 points from a perfect score. And what you got points taken off for is something so ridiculous that you could scream.
You can see him in your peripheral as you chat with the other students about the answers. Just as you discuss your silly mistake you take a small look at him. He has a faint smirk on his face, as if to laugh at your downfall.
From then on, you decide that it’s a war.
[and obviously, the story would travel with them as they grow. Once they’re adults, I can imagine Miguel to still be this same stoic, yet more approachable person who has had a ROSTER of hookups and a reader who’s still so flirty and chatty, yet can’t find a good partner to save their life. The dynamic of him knowing exactly how to make reader feel good verses reader being overwhelmed for once would be sooooo good]
What do you think Lexie-bun?? 🥸
#lab testing 🔬#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel x reader#miguel ohara x reader
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i don't think taako's voice is really all that high most of the time. it's higher than justin's normal voice a little, but idk, the defining quality of it isn't its pitch to me, there's something else that i don't really have the words for. but anyway i do notice that his voice gets lower and less exaggerated when he's being serious. which is interesting bc it sort of implies that the usual "taako voice" is something he puts on.
i don't really think of taako as a habitual performer. his charisma modifier is a -1, he's not this ultra smooth charming actor, and although he does tend to hide behind humor and is slow to build connections, he's also very frank with what he's about and what he wants. he goes on an entire tirade about wanting to talk about his feelings (he's multidimensional!), he never acts embarrassed or hesitant about big moments of vulnerability and caring for others (arms outstretched, "i'm not going fucking anywhere," admitting a deep fear to kravitz on their first date, spilling his tragic backstory to angus, not to mention several serious moments with lup) (and not all of these can be chalked up to "forgotten connections," either. he does have a foundation of growth with magnus and merle, even forgotten, and his conversations with lup are of course all with memories intact, but he does not have that with kravitz and angus). he's just slow to reveal all of his hidden depths, because of (understandable) trust issues. but all in all he's not nearly as closed off as i think fandom tends to portray him (which is not to say he's open, either), nor is he someone who wears a lot of masks and obscures himself. i don't think he hides his "true self."
sizzle it up was successful because of his intelligence, not his charisma. he's a natural teacher who's knowledgeable and passionate, and that was what made the show great, not his personality or performance (though i don't think those were bad. just not the primary appeal of the show. the only fan we see is ren, and she loved sizzle it up because it inspired her and taught her to cook, not because she thought taako was awesome or whatever). bc that's the thing, he's not a performer, but he is extremely adaptable. so when he's set up with a stagecoach and a show lined up, sure, he'll have a TV persona, he'll learn to be charming, he'll learn to be showy, when he's on stage. when he gets famous, he learns to like being famous, but i don't think it was really a dream of his before then. or at least not in the way people think of it. i don't think he ever wanted to be a celebrity as much as a celebrity chef or celebrity wizard. he doesn't care if people think he's pretty. he doesn't want people to adore him (before the voidfish, anyway. afterwards is a different story. there's a void where love used to be that he's desperate to fill, and adoration almost feels like it works). really what he wants is for people to appreciate his skill and intelligence and depth (and he's also very afraid of actually displaying those things. he's multidimensional).
but most of the time, when he's not literally performing for an audience, i just don't think he's putting on a show, desperate for people to like him and think he's charming. he'll do what he needs to do, say what he needs to say, be who he needs to be in any given circumstance, with strangers and antagonists, but he also drops the act when it's not necessary. or at least his performance is subtler. he performs stupidity, he performs nonchalance, he makes efforts to be funny (because he is always funny, but that's something you have to work for and always be thinking about, even when the humor is dry), he carefully does just enough to be useful, but not enough to raise expectations. he's very aware of how other people view him, but he's also perfectly okay with people thinking negatively about him—as long as they're the negative traits he wants people to see. but, he only does all those things in the beginning of the show; after a little while with magnus and merle, after a little while with the bob, he drops the act. so i guess that's the difference to me. he's adaptable out of necessity, it doesn't bleed into his entire life. i don't even really think i'd qualify it as a performance. it's more of an invisibility. he's not performing charisma to get people to like him, he's trying to lay low. but then when he actually wants people to like him, he's himself, fairly unapologetically. with the people who matter, lup, magnus and merle, kravitz, the other bob members, the other ipre crew, he's pretty comfortable with himself.
one last interesting point is that while he doesn’t seem to hesitate when it comes to actions, he does shy away from verbal displays of affection, trust, vulnerability. and the best two scenes to show that play out almost exactly the same: lup’s best day ever dinner, and dropping his disguise self with kravitz. in each, taako does something meaningful for both npcs, who then verbalize their affection for him, which taako immediately deflects with a joke.
taako drops his disguise spell for kravitz, totally honest with him, (although… i don’t tend to think the beauty sacrifice was as meaningful to taako as fandom tends to portray, i think most of his vanity is an exaggeration he intentionally cultivates, but still, it’s a vulnerable moment, he clearly cares what kravitz thinks), and kravitz tells him he loves him. to which taako replies with a joke. he does not return the words.
taako doesn’t hesitate to construct the best day ever for lup, never even questions why she’d ask. he puts it all together, cooks for her, shows her he knows her, he loves her—and then when she bears her heart to him, tells him he is her heart, all he says is, “i know,” and pulls out a bottle of vodka. of course lup knows he loves her, the whole day was an elaborate demonstration of it, but he doesn’t say anything. to be fair, it’s not exactly a typical interaction between them, taako is textually scared shitless, lup did just tell him she’s going to turn herself into an undead abomination, so he’s not exactly at his best here. but anyway.
i don’t really have anything to add to this observation, it’s just very consistent and interesting to me. taako is fairly comfortable with grand gestures, but sidesteps around words. which ties in perfectly with his identity as a chef, to me. cooking is an action, work, intention, cooking for people is an act of love, an act of connection, an act of caring, and taako’s character doesn’t fit the bill for that—except, he kinda really does.
#listened to the multidimensional scene bc i'm writing about mongooses. it made me think#also i'm learning so much about mongooses and also weather systems in south asia. not strictly necessary but interesting#mine#taako#taz taako#taz balance#the adventure zone#analysis#also his cha mod is -1 in gerblins its possible he put ASIs into it later on but it still wouldnt be very high#his int and dex are his high scores
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Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Part 10
Previous part here
…………………………………………………………………………….
Stacy: Sure, no problem. Are you ok? Do you want me to talk to him?
Y/N read Stacy’s text message response before quickly typing out a reply. She’d messaged Stacy, explaining that she and Emmett had gotten in a pretty bad argument the previous night, and asking her if she could please come and get the boys and watch them at her house tomorrow, and for the next several nights. Y/N had no idea what she’d do after then, but she was just focused on the immediate future for the time being.
Y/N: No, that’s ok, thanks. I think we just need to have some distance between us for a while. I’m so sorry to ask you, but I didn’t know what else to do.
Stacy: Don’t worry; it’s totally fine. But just for the record, I think you two will come to an understanding much quicker if you just talk rather than avoid each other.
Y/N: Thanks, I’ll think about it.
Y/N set her phone back down on the nightstand after closing out of Stacy’s message and still not responding to the one Emmett had sent her earlier that day asking her if they could talk. She hadn’t answered the phone the two times he’d tried calling her, either.
Now early evening, she was starving, as she’d stayed holed up in her room all day watching TV to avoid being seen by him through her downstairs windows. But as it began to feel like her stomach was eating itself, she discreetly made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, hoping he wouldn’t happen to see her from across the driveway.
After what happened in her kitchen the previous night, she’d completely avoided Emmett after dashing back outside. She was both absolutely mortified, as well as completely confused, and she hadn’t even fully believed that what had happened actually happened, until she’d changed her clothes later on and the proof of their little rendezvous was evident on her panties. She’d blushed every possible shade of red as she’d dropped them in the washing machine, and she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror, which was still the case today.
She was mortified because she couldn’t believe how easily she’d given in the second Emmett had grabbed her. Despite the way he’d spoken to her, the pull she felt to him was irresistible, and as soon as his lips had touched hers, she’d only wanted more. It was pathetic how easily she’d melted.
But it was also just such an awkward situation. They had still been fighting literally as they were having sex, and she’d willingly given in to the possessiveness and control Emmett had shown, and she was so embarrassed by how turned on she’d been. She couldn’t get the feel of his hands on her or the sound of his voice out of her head.
But she also couldn’t understand why it had happened at all, and why Emmett was so upset that she had agreed to Stacy’s set up when he had neither said nor done anything else prior to their little encounter to show that he was interested in her. She figured it was some weird, territorial guy thing – he didn’t want her, but he didn’t want anyone else to have her. Well, she wasn’t interested in any of the drama or heartache that came with that scenario. She refused to be in another situation where she hoped for bliss but was treated like garbage. If he didn’t want her, then he couldn’t have her.
Now, she just had to try and get rid of her unreciprocated feelings.
———————————————
Emmett had been completely restless since the moment Y/N had walked out on him the night prior. They’d been interrupted before he’d had a chance to explain anything to her, and after going back outside to the party, she’d made sure there was at least five yards of space between them for the rest of the night. Any time it was evident he was going to try to approach her to talk, Y/N moved away, her face flushing and refusing to meet his eyes as she wove her way around people and tables. Eventually, she’d called it a night and gone back inside her house, turning off every light, and when he’d tried to get in touch with her several times today, he got no response. He wasn’t even sure if she was home now, as there’d been no sign of life at her house all day.
He figured she was confused, and he couldn’t blame her. Remembering how she’d said that it was obvious he wanted nothing to do with her, he realized that the way he’d gone from pulling back to then suddenly being jealous, scolding her, and kissing her wouldn’t make much sense to anybody.
Well, he’d done a lot more than just kiss her, and as wild as the situation had been, Emmett couldn’t help but still be insanely turned on by the entire thing. He’d been on the verge of grabbing her the whole night, and once he’d heard about her date and had her alone in that kitchen, he wasn’t leaving, no matter how mad at him she was.
He knew he’d been out of line with how he’d spoken to her, but in the moment, he’d been too wrapped up in jealousy to care, and something between them drew out a side of him that wanted nothing more than to both worship her and put her in her place at the same time. He couldn’t get the feel of her body against his or the sound of her desperate little gasps out of his head, and that, combined with how he felt about her, was making this silent treatment she was giving him unbearable. He needed to talk to her so that they could clear things up, and if she wasn’t going to answer her phone, he’d have to figure something else out.
———————————————
Y/N was incredibly grateful when Monday finally rolled around and she had the distraction of work to keep her from thinking about Emmett too much. They still hadn’t spoken or seen each other, and she’d asked Stacy to come up with some explanation to tell Henry and Max as to why Y/N wouldn’t be around for them this week.
After returning to the ER after lunch, Y/N was quickly approached by Melissa, who hastily handed her a blood pressure cuff as she spoke.
“There’s a guy in Bay 12 with a bad laceration on his arm, but I just got called over to help prep for an emergency surgery. Can you go see him?”
“Sure,” Y/N replied as she put her stethoscope around her neck. “Any other info on this guy?”
“No,” Melissa shook her head. “He just got here; reception is still entering his intake form.”
“Ok,” Y/N replied as she picked up an exam clipboard. “Go ahead; I’ve got it.”
“Thanks,” Melissa smiled at her and then headed off through the double doors.
Walking down the hallway to the end of the large room, Y/N stopped in front of Bay 12 and looked down at the clipboard in her hand as she reached up with her other hand to grab the privacy curtain. Her head still down, she pulled the curtain back slightly and stepped into the bay, beginning to speak as she readjusted the piece of paper on her clipboard.
“Ok, so, I understand you hurt your arm,” she started. “Let’s have a look.”
As she finished her sentence, Y/N finally lifted her head, and her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw Emmett sitting on the edge of the hospital bed in front of her. There was a moment of silence as their eyes met and she registered that it was him, and when she spoke, her throat suddenly felt very dry.
“I’m gonna go get someone else to help you,” she said, and she began to turn again.
“Y/N, wait,” Emmett said, and she stopped. “Please, will you just do it? I’ve already been sitting here for 30 minutes and this hurts like hell.”
Facing him once more, Y/N looked at him for a moment. He was holding a paper towel to his forearm, and despite how badly she wanted to get out of there, she knew she couldn’t leave him if he really was hurt. Inhaling a deep breath, she set the clipboard down on the counter before she silently walked up to Emmett and stopped beside him at the bed. Avoiding his eyes, she opened the drawer of the nearby cabinet and pulled out some rubber gloves, feeling him watching her as she put them on. It was silent for a moment, and then Emmett spoke.
“Y/N, listen, the other night—" he began as he looked at her, her head still down. But she cut him off before he could finish.
“Sorry, there’s no talking allowed back here,” she said, shaking her head as she pulled some cleansing pads and gauze from the drawer. She still refused to meet his eyes.
“Y/N, we need to ta—”
“Shhh!” she cut him off again, her face burning with embarrassment.
“You’re gonna have to talk to me eventually,” he said.
She just shook her head and pursed her lips, saying nothing as she gingerly gripped his hand and lifted it along with the paper towel he was holding to his forearm. But upon revealing his arm, she saw that he had nothing more than a small scratch that had barely even drawn blood, let alone required an ER visit. Lifting her head slowly, she narrowed her eyes at him as she realized the trick he’d played.
“You wouldn’t answer my calls,” he said by way of explanation, but Y/N just narrowed her eyes again.
“You can leave the same way you came in,” she said as she pulled off her gloves. She would kill Melissa for helping him pull this little stunt and sending her to see him.
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” Emmett responded.
“Then you’re gonna be here a while,” Y/N replied, and she began to turn around. But before she could take a full step, Emmett reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
“We need to talk about what happened the other night,” he said.
She shook her head feverishly.
“No, we don’t. We never need to talk about it. In fact, forget it even happened.”
Emmett looked her in the eyes.
“There’s no way I’m ever going to forget it,” he said. “And I don’t want to.”
Y/N felt the blush creep from the base of her throat to the roots of her hair.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked him, pulling her wrist out of his grasp. “Haven’t you embarrassed me enough?”
“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” Emmett said. “I’m trying to explain myself.”
“There’s nothing to explain,” Y/N replied. “I know it was just some territorial thing. But if you don’t want me, then you don’t get to do that.”
“Who said I don’t want you?” Emmett responded, looking into her eyes.
Y/N’s heart pounded as she stared back at him, speechless.
“I didn’t want you to feel pressured,” Emmett began explaining. “I know what you’ve been through, and even though it seemed like we were on the same page, I didn’t know for sure, and so I thought I should give you space.” He paused. “But then, I found out you agreed to Stacy’s set up.”
Turning, Y/N began to put the supplies she’d retrieved back in the drawer, not looking at him.
“Yes, I did, but not because I wanted to,” she said.
“Then why did you?” Emmett asked her.
Y/N turned back towards him but looked down at the floor.
“I was trying to get over you,” she replied quietly. “I thought maybe something was…happening with us, but then you got distant, and so I figured you decided you didn’t really want me.”
At that, Emmett reached out and gently grabbed her hand, and Y/N lifted her head to look at him.
“That couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said to her.
Y/N’s heart skipped a beat as they looked at each other and he pulled her slightly closer.
“You have no idea how much I want you,” he continued, his voice lowered, conscious of the fact of where they were, but needing to tell her nonetheless. “And if anything I did made you question that or start putting yourself down, then I need to know how to convince you that you’re perfect, because I know how you talk down to yourself.”
Y/N blushed and shook her head, unsure how to respond. Absentmindedly, she began moving her hand around in his, their fingers playing together as she looked down.
“I’m not perfect,” she said quietly. “Not even close.”
Emmett pulled her even closer, bringing her between his legs before tugging his hand out of hers and instead lifting it to her face. As he cupped her cheek, he could feel the heat from her blush as he looked into her eyes.
“A woman who’s completely selfless, warm, loving to a fault, and sexy?” he raised his eyebrows and paused for emphasis. “I think that’s the definition of perfect.”
Y/N’s heart was pounding so hard that she guessed the thumping of her chest was visible under her scrub top. Emmett then gave her a small smile as he quickly looked down at her lips, and then back up to her eyes again.
“The added fact that you’re a sassy little piece of work just means there’s never a dull moment,” he finished.
Y/N’s face flushed an even deeper shade of red as she remembered how he’d called her sassy as he’d been between her legs in her kitchen the other night. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he was remembering the same moment, but before she could let herself get any more embarrassed, Emmett pulled her the rest of the way to him and gently placed his lips on hers.
Y/N’s eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her, and when he slipped his other arm around her waist, she lifted a hand and braced it on his chest. Kissing him, his arm around her, felt like finally arriving somewhere she was meant to be, and she didn’t want it to end. When Emmett eventually pulled back, he smiled again as she opened her eyes.
“I know you hate having me as a neighbor, my hands are never clean enough, and you’re a better parent to my own kids than I am, but is there any chance you’d consider canceling that blind date?” he said to her.
But Y/N suddenly frowned and looked at him in disbelief.
“What are you talking about?” she asked him incredulously. “You are an amazing father.”
Emmett just scoffed and shook his head.
“You are,” Y/N said. “Emmett, the fact that you have raised them on your own for this long, and they have turned into such wonderful kids, is just proof of how amazing of a father you are. I know firsthand how hard you work, and how much you’re there for them. If you think you’re not doing a great job, then maybe I should send you down the hall to have an MRI, because clearly, there’s something wrong in your head.”
At that, Emmett breathed out a laugh and pulled her closer again.
“How can you put yourself down so much but then say something like that about me?” he asked her.
“Because it’s true,” she replied as she looked at him. “You’re teaching them to be just as hardworking, kind, and good as you are. I’ve seen it. And if you weren’t so great, they wouldn’t be, either. But they are.”
Emmett squeezed her waist as he looked at her.
“You realize the impact you’ve had on them?” he said. “They adore you.”
The love was obvious in Y/N’s eyes.
“I’m sorry if I’ve ever overstepped,” she said gently. “But I just can’t help but want to take care of them.”
Emmett didn’t know how it was possible for someone to be so incredible, but he did know that he would do whatever he could to try and show her how amazing she was.
“What about you?” he said. “If you ask me, it’s about time someone took care of you.” When she opened her mouth to protest, Emmett continued before she could say anything.
“And don’t you dare say you’re not important,” he said.
Y/N pursed her lips, as that was exactly what she was about to say.
“We’re gonna have to fix that,” Emmett finished, referring to the way she belittled herself.
He then pulled her closer once more and kissed her again, and as Y/N leaned into him, his hands rested on her hips. After a moment, he pulled away just enough for their lips to part, and he spoke again.
“Come over tonight,” he said, his voice quiet but heavy. “No expectations – I just want to be around you.”
Y/N’s heart was pounding again.
“What about the boys?” she said, her voice a little breathy.
“I’ll ask Stacy to keep ‘em tonight...or for the next month.”
Y/N giggled, and then she looked down at Emmett’s arm and ran her finger over the small scratch he had.
“I don’t know if you’re in any kind of shape for visitors,” she said teasingly. “You’ve been through quite the trauma here.”
“If it’s as bad as you say, then I definitely shouldn’t be alone,” he replied, playing along. “Do you make house calls?”
“Not usually,” Y/N said. She reached over to the counter and picked up a discharge sheet, gently shoving it into his chest and then pulling away from him. As she drew back the privacy curtain and stepped back into the hallway, she spoke once more, giving him a coy little smile before she turned away.
“But I’m willing to make an exception,” she said.
@nyxxie-pooh @febris-amatoria @natalie--rushman @xsweetcatastrophe @hannibellector
@beastofburdenxo @aphroditeslover11 @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @garrison-girl-08 @meister95
@fuseburner @devotedlyshadowytheorist @neonpurplestars89-blog
#emmett x female reader#emmet a quiet place x reader#emmett a quiet place 2#emmett a quiet place#emmett fic#emmett smut#18+ only#cillian murphy#cillian x fem!reader#cillian fic#cillian murphy smut#cillian smut#18+ content
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I'm sure that some has talked about this before, but I have always been confused about Mello's reasoning for kidnapping Takada. I finished a read through of the Death Note manga recently and I FINALLY feel like I understand why. I'm going to break this down into 2 sections: Why he did it, and Did he intend to die?
Why he did it:
While I think it's meant to be kept somewhat vague for narrative purposes, the thing that I never understood fully was the wording in the scene:
Why specifically "his" name? Of course this line always made my little Meronia heart flutter, but before my manga read through I never quite understood it. If Near's plan to catch Kira went wrong, all of the SPK would die, not just Near. So why the emphasis on him? Especially if we are looking at a completely surface level reading of DN where Mello purely hates Near? But then I found this moment a few chapters earlier:
To summarize what is happening before and after these pages (Chapter 90), Near tells Light that there are 4 members of the SPK and that he is in Japan. He says they might meet soon. This is all coded language to challenge Light to an in person meeting. At this point Near admits that he doesn't have a concrete plan in place for confronting Light. But he knows they must meet Kira face to face and prove his identity by having a name written in the Death Note. This is prior to the SPK starting their investigation into Mikami. The part that stuck out to me was " When we meet Kira, the first person he'll write down is me, so..." To me this means that prior to finding Mikami and adding fake pages to the death note, Near planned to sacrifice himself to catch Kira if they didn't have any other options. This DIRECTLY correlates to Mello's line (read right to left):
Mello kidnapped Takada because he knew that if he didn't there was a good chance Near would die. This is literally the only reason that the text give us. Which leads me to our next part.
Did he intend to die?
While I've seen a lot of different takes on this, many of which I find very interesting, I now believe that yes, Mello kidnapped Takada with the intention to be killed by the death note. Here is my reasoning.
Mello knows better than anyone else investigating Kira how the death note works. Like L wanted to before his death, Mello used his time in the mafia to experiment with the rules of both the death note AND the shinigami eyes.
In the manga, Mello has one of the mafia members Kal Snydar (a.k.a. Jack Neylon) make a deal for the shinigami's eyes. Rod and Mello use Snydar's eyes to kill others for an extended period of time. This would give Mello at least a basic understanding of how they work; what face coverings inhibit the eyes, etc... And then after his encounter with Soichiro Yagami he becomes aware that there is always a chance that anyone associated with Kira could have the eyes. He also knows that Kira knows his name but not his face after the explosion. Meaning that he would know that the ONLY thing stopping Kira from killing him would be his face. Given that Mello never uses the death note himself but had other's use it for him, I believe that he also would theorize that Kira would do the same (such as X-Kira/Mikami, Misa, and Takada). Because of all of this he would be especially careful around anyone he knows has connections to Kira, such as Takada the spokesperson of Kira.
Moving on to the kidnapping. Mello wears a motorcycle helmet that appears to be tinted, but is clear enough to fully discern his face through. We know from previous instances that a dark tinted visor will block the shinigami's eyes from seeing your name, which most motorcycle helmets already have. Here is a comparison of a helmet used to block the face vs what Mello wore:
Mello specially chose one with a clear enough visor to see through. You could argue that he did this to show Halle who he was, allowing him to take Takada. However if this was his intention there were many other ways to make his identity clear to Halle without revealing his face. There is also the line on this page that intrigues me. "She's connected to Kira... Unless I do this..." The sentence structure implies that there is a direct consequence Mello envisions. Unless you do this...then what? Given everything else I have outlined above to me the implication is "Unless I do this then Near will die." You could argue that he’s thinking something like “Unless I do this then Near will win!” However, Mello has always been outspoken in his desire to be the one to catch Kira. If that’s what he was thinking wouldn’t it just say that? Whatever his reason is is something he can’t bring himself to say even in the privacy of his own brain.
If you were to argue that Mello didn't realize that his helmet was clear enough to see his face, this is then made moot when he takes it off in front of Takada. There was no reason for him to do this, in fact, there were a multitude of reasons not to. Even if Takada didn't have death note pages on her, Mello knows that if she escapes, Kira could easily ask her to write his name in the death note because she knows his face. You may then think "but why does Mello take precautions to not get followed and killed by Takada's men? He takes away and ships off anything that could be bugged and tracked including her clothing." This just further proves that he is trying to be killed specifically by the death note. The kidnapping is planned to a T, but he doesn't take the simplest precaution of concealing his face from one of Kira's biggest supporters.
So what was Mello’s plan? We know that Mello is someone who plans for a lot of different contingencies. We see this when he plants bombs through out his safe house in the event that he’s backed into a corner. Because of this I believe he had a few different plans. But no matter what his goal with kidnapping Takada is to force contact with Kira. In fact, Near thinks that Mello’s goal is to use Takada as bait.
What his exact plan was up in the air for me. He may have intended to be killed by her, thinking that she had access to a death note when kidnapped which would explain why he didn’t check her over before giving her the blanket to cover herself. He states that his intention of taking her clothes is to removing any tracers so her bodyguards didn’t find them. They make a deal that he will give her the blanket before taking off her underwear, where she’s hiding her pages of the death note.
Even if Mello didn’t know that you can used pages torn out of the death note, there are a few time in the series when a person hides a full death note under their clothes (Near being my favorite example). So it’s not out of the question that she could have had one tucked into the back of her underwear.
His plan also could have been to release her in some way so that she could get back to Kira and use the death note. Mello knows Kira has his name, now with Takada having seen his face Kira would have her write Mello’s name for him. Or it could have been that he intended to use her to draw Kira out and get killed by the death note in the process.
Going back to our first example from the manga, Near says "The fact that we replaced the pages in the notebook and the notebook happened to be a fake… I find it hard to believe that Mello thought that far ahead." I do agree with Near here. I don't think that Mello had figured out that the notebook was fake. But I do think that Mello could see that Near's plan had holes in it, and any mistake would result in Near getting killed. His solution was to be the name that was written in the book instead. You can argue in a lot of different ways why it was important to Mello that Near lives. Such as, Mello knew that with Near dead he didn't have any hope of catching Kira by himself with all of this resources and allies depleted. Or my favorite reason, despite his protests Mello deeply cares for Near and was willing to die if it meant Near would survive.
Please let me know any of your thoughts!
#Death Note#mello death note#near death note#meronia#mello x near#death note headcanons#death note brain rot
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Prefacing this by saying this is not what I EXPECT to happen in 7x09 and 7x10, it's just one specific scenario that I feel particularly feral about right now... so with that said, I'm gonna throw out a dream scenario for the end of S7:
Tommy and Buck are dating and it's going well. Buck is just sort of blossoming in his new identity as a queer man. There's a self-confidence and assuredness to him that we haven't seen before
Meanwhile, Eddie has broken things off with Marisol and is quietly going through his own reevaluation of his sexuality. His awareness of his queerness happens pretty simultaneously with his realization that the way he loves Buck isn't entirely platonic, but he keeps it to himself because Buck is happy with Tommy
Episode 9 finds Eddie and Buck together off duty. Maybe they're having an argument. Maybe on the surface they're arguing about something small but somehow it feels much bigger
Mid-argument some emergency strikes. Buck and Eddie are trapped together and it's BAD. They're both in mortal peril, but it's worse for Eddie. Eddie hopes help will arrive in time to save Buck, but he's pretty sure he won't be alive to see it
(And I just want to stress - I feel like it's essential that they are off duty when this happens. They are in sync on the job, it's how they fit together outside of the job they're still figuring out)
So Eddie gets Buck's attention - because Buck hasn't given up yet. He won't. He CAN'T. He's frantically searching for solutions as Eddie repeats his name in a weakened voice, until finally he cracks and says, "Evan, please. I need you to hear this."
And in the final seconds of episode nine, Eddie Diaz looks Evan Buckley dead in the eye and tells him, "I love you"
Episode ten opens on an unrelated disaster, just to keep us gnashing our teeth a little longer
Maybe we throw some flashbacks in there for good measure
Check in on the rest of the firefam frantically trying to coordinate a rescue effort
But FINALLY they cut back to Buck and Eddie in mortal danger and replay the last few moments of episode 9. And believing these are the last words he'll ever say, Eddie tells Buck how much he loves him. He says he's sorry he realized it too late, but he could never, never regret loving him
Somehow there's a callback reference to Mitchell and Thomas, and the way Buck looked at their clasped hands as they died, and Buck realizing that dying together was never the point of their story. Living together was
And Buck is full sobbing and begging him not to give up yet because Christopher needs him and the team needs him and finally saying "and I need you, Eddie. You can't leave me. You can't-"
We get the sense that Buck is on the cusp of a love confession of his own, but before he gets the words out he's cut off by the sound of helicopter blades overhead.
Their miracle rescue arrives in time, led by none other than Buck's starting-to-be-something-serious boyfriend Tommy
After the rescue, we see Eddie in the back of the ambulance, stable and out of danger, and Buck's about to go over to him but Tommy comes running over and sweeps Buck up in his arms and kisses his temple and says, "thank god you're ok. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you"
And Buck lets himself be held, but his attention is over Tommy's shoulder looking at Eddie
Eddie, who's gonna be ok
Eddie, who loves him
Eddie, who is the absolute center of Buck's world, but Buck has never allowed himself to think of That Way
And Eddie meets Buck's eye over Tommy's shoulder and gives him a sad smile that lets Buck know he intends to go back to quietly loving Buck at just a little bit of a distance so that Buck can be happy with someone else
And just to really twist the knife, we get an overheard piece of dialogue in which Eddie refers to Buck as his "best friend" for the literal first time ever (I'm pretty sure? Up til now, any time the "best friend" label has been used it's been by Buck, but please correct me if I'm wrong.)
And the season ends there
Cue the entire fandom going APESHIT for the entirety of the summer hiatus
#911#911 speculation#evan buck buckley#eddie diaz#how do i fanfiction?#911 spec fic#tommy kinard#bi buck#queer buck#queer eddie diaz#tommybuck#tuck#kinkley#tevan#<- I'll tag it but I hate it#(the ship name not the ship)#eddie x buck
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Honestly goldy, i don’t know why you even bother going back and forth with these solos. These people are not ready to listen to anything because they’ve made up their minds that they hate Jungkook. To hell with what Jimin thinks about him or how important he is to Jungkook. These people don’t care, all they care about is what they themselves feel and if you really think about it, it isn’t even really about Jimin but about themselves. Why do you think solos usually disregard the things their faves do and say on a daily basis? It is simply because this “fight” is more about “them” than it is about the people they claim to be fighting for because how are you not ashamed sitting here shitting on somebody Jimin is literally enlisted with as we speak? How are you sitting here calling Jk the devil because of something he said donkey years ago when he didn’t know better even though we have heard Jimin say multiple times how much he loves and cares about Jk and how he knows he can rely on him and he feels like Jk can protect him? Is Jimin an idiot? Do you go about saying all these about a person who doesn’t give a tiny rats ass about you? This is why solos will always be dumb and useless. The truth is, y’all cause more harm than good for Jimin and you don’t care about it. Even the so called “good” you think you are doing for him is really for yourselves because you want to “win” this senseless war you have with other solos to prove that your fave is better.
Y’all are sitting here wanting to crucify Jk for mistakes he made when he didn’t know any better as if Jimin himself didn’t say things to people that could come off as insensitive. Jimin is the kindest and most considerate person i have ever seen but even he is not without flaws or a past. Jimin made a jokeabout RM a monkey/ baboon or something of the sort. Jimin has called other members “pig”and he himself was the captain in calling himself ugly. What y’all don’t fucking understand is that, at some point the words “ugly” or “pig” were not even considered insults anymore especially among the guys because it was just like a normal “blast” between them. Yea Jimin did look a little hurt by those words sometimes but that was probably because he already thought he was ugly and not necessarily because the members said that sometimes. Plus Jk only said that once and it was more or less a joke. Was it an insensitive joke? Yes it was but Jk didn’t know any better. He himself spoke about the fact that when he was younger, he had an issue recognizing how his words and actions made other people feel plus the boy was young and immature. If Jimin has forgiven and moved on who the fuck are you to hold unto those things? It doesn’t matter what they all said to each other years ago because they have clearly grown so much. And it’s funny how y’all hang unto those moments but ignore the moments when Jk himself even at that age kept calling Jimin handsome, pretty, saying his eyes were beautiful, calling him charming and speaking of how kind and caring Jimin is.
https://x.com/jjksonyeondan/status/1353155329241059334?s=46
https://x.com/jjksonyeondan/status/1353155222223388674?s=46
https://x.com/jjksonyeondan/status/1353155189558140928?s=46
Why do you choose to hang unto the negative and ignore all the nice things Jk said about Jimin? Since Jk moved on from that stage who has given Jimin more compliments than Jk? He is the one constantly calling Jimin pretty, cute, beautiful, sexy. He is the one charging at pple with frying pans for almost hitting Jimin, he is the one warning Tae to not fling a pancake at Jimin, he is the one scolding suga and asking him to make Jimin feel better after suga teased Jimin for saying “sorry” at the UN. He is the one gently pulling Jimin away when members hit him on his birthday, Jk is the one scolding RM for saying that Jimin’s kiss has contaminated a trophy. Jk is the one waking up and making a bigger pancake for Jimin because he has penalties to do, he is the one alerting the members to shut up because Jimin is not done answering his questions. He is the one leaving his spot to go console a crying Jimin on stage, Jimin cooks and the food is tastes bad and while other members are complaining about it and refusing to eat it, we have Jungkook going to eat the food and not complaining about it so that Jimin doesn’t feel bad. We have members complaining about a drink Jimin bought, saying it tasted bad and Jk turning to Jimin and saying “i liked the drink you brought”. We have Jk all the members teasing Jimin and Jk being the only one who doesn’t say anything, we have Jk asking tae to pass him a bottle of water so he can give Jimin and guess what? Jimin didn’t even ask. Jk is always the one looking out for Jimin or being the one praising him and telling him he did good when others are teasing him. Jk is always the one telling Jimin he looks cute, beautiful, sexy. He is the one who quietly holds unto Jimin’s chair so Jimin doesn’t fall off, he is the one who uses his hand to break Jimin’s fall to make sure Jimin doesn’t hurt himself when he falls. He is the one going to pick Jimin up after he falls off a chair. Just because Jk doesn’t scream about his love for Jimin like Jimin does, doesn’t mean Jk doesn’t care. He loves Jimin and protects him in ways that if you blink, you might miss it.
I usually don’t subscribe to all these slowed down analyzed videos but this one is pretty straight to the point and if this doesn’t show you why Jimin has loved Jungkook dearly for over a decade and still continues to, if this doesn’t tell you why Jimin keeps saying Jk will protect him, then nothing will. This is something that almost everyone will miss but this speaks volumes.
https://x.com/enoonsti/status/1736758350904484106?s=46
So y’all can continue holding unto a past that Jimin doesn’t remember anymore while that boy just keeps on loving Jk because unlike you, he actually knows him and knows what Jk does for him.
Period purr purr
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this has been running around in my head since i completed 'friends in very low places' and i believe this is an appropriate day to sit down and talk about it a bit .
i write arthur as bisexual . i also write arthur as having no idea that this is the case . as far as he is aware at any given moment , he's attracted only to women . obviously during this time period , homosexuality isn't very accepted , and therefore either kept under wraps or shoved aside completely . but having run in a band of all different types of outlaws makes arthur a little more flexible when it comes to his own mindsets towards others . he's able to welcome people of all sorts of colours and forged relationships with the women in ways that most men in the late 1800s … would not make an effort to do . and then there's sexuality , and while arthur isn't exposed to much of it in-game , his meeting with alden goes about as expected for someone who is closeted / unknowingly bi .
now on to 'friends in very low places' : it's clear that alden speaks in a way that isn't common of most men , and he and trelawney even talk about how he's one of the 'discouraged men' which … . is clearly referencing his attraction towards men . and then there's arthur , glancing toward alden multiple times when he's speaking . sure , it can be interpreted as him simply thinking of him as strange , but that's not how we roll here . arthur is so incredibly bi , and you can see it in his eyes , and i'm choosing to interpret it as him feeling a sort of kinship with alden , even if he doesn't really know that's how he's feeling in that moment . it's more of an 'i'm feeling comfortable' sort of thing that we feel around people who are like us .
no one can tell me that's not the comfort glance . ( also , r .oger c .lark literally said in a cameo to someone else that , although arthur doesn't and wouldn't say it aloud , he might have had those types of feelings towards charles . hint . and i just think that's a neat thing for him to say and to ship and i agree . every day is a diversity win ! )
all in all , don't get me wrong . he's still not very easily attracted to people , and i will continue to remind people of that . he's a man who just wants to live his life , and if he develops feelings for someone , then that's that . he'll get there when he gets there .
#( ;; i just couldn't stop watching this and going 'i get it' )#( ;; i get it. i get the gaze and i get the looking. )#( ;; also a.lden signing off his notes with 'x' ME TOO. )#( ;; i'd also write that to a.rthur i'm ngl. he'd hate me. )#╰ ゜headcanon. * i'll fight forgiveness ; so suffer for my shame.
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Sebastian: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE!
Sebastian: DAZAI-SAN IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW!
Sebastian: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp incorrect quotes#ikevamp sebastian#ikevamp dazai#i had a moment of divine intervention#and now i can't unsee it#i cant get over the fact that sebastian really said his life dream was to be a feral housewife in a mansion full of historical figures#I WANT THOSE PILLOWS LOOKING LIKE MICROWAVABLE POPCORN BAGS THREE MINUTES DEEP#literally i can take no comedic credit for this gayle is just iconic and sebastian is channeling their energy at any given moment#i dont care if we have to throw e v e r y t h i n g out. i want this place looking like a new mediterranean fusion restaurant by noon. AAAA#ISAAC PUT SEA SHELLS ON THE DOOR KNOBS#THIS IS A DISH TOWEL. WE NEED A HAND TOWEL. WHAT ARE WE BARBARIANS!!?!?!#WE LIVE OUTSIDE. WE EAT MUD AND STICKS.#i love how the poor puppy in the background is just watching them like ?????? King in the living room like 'bruh' while sebas has a meltdow#*looking at vlad's flowers that were sent as a gift* MC CAN WE GET THE LESBIAN PLANT OUT OF HERE#i dont care how many years pass its always funny#i feel like the comparison is really made by gayle's intermittent screeching throughout too#honorable mention: this is also theo when anything happens to vincent#I DON'T CARE IF ARTHUR'S BLEEDING OUT VINCENT'S PAPER CUT COULD GET INFECTED#SOUNDS LIKE A HIM PROBLEM NOW GET THE FIRST AID KIT HONDJE#WHAT? GAUZE? WHAT IS THIS 1632? YOU COULDN'T FIND A BAND-AID? STOP CRYING IM NOT DONE--#source: “company is coming” / Chris Fleming
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Guy that I am. So normal about
#al art#al ocs#imagine me in a locked echo chamber just wailing about denys#thats my head right now#im so fucked up sbout them. because. i had a little thiught#before my reasoning for ehy denys wouldnt kill axel was a mix of professionalism and contradictory feelings#now having given it more thought ive realised its specifically because axel is OK with it#denys WANTS axel to be scared for zir life denys NEEDS axel to be terrified#because thats how vos parents felt. they were scared. they didnt want to die. they didnt want to be Killed.#and little denys was so so so scared stumbling upon the scene that vo was gonna be next. who wouldnt be. wicks parents were Murdered#wick needs to get that revenge to have axel be so so scared like they all were back then#but zes just not.#its been 5 years since axel found out who denys was and almost immediately ze realised that whatever punishment denys wanted was justified#it would be the right thing. fae wouldn't fight it.#so now neither of them gets what they want. they cant.#denys still wants axel to think wick would and could kill fae at any moment but axel is ok with that#i am literally in my room seperate from my family on hogmanay and gripping my glass of blue wkd. i am SO normal right now#denys#axel
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can i take you to a moment / where the fields are painted gold
#artz#rune factory 4#rf4#rune factory#rf4 lest#lyric from bloom by the paper kites <3#i have sooo many lest (/frey) n venti thoughts n this replay is NOT helping!!! <33#(i say lest because i play as him n also i kin him but assume i mean frey in all of this too <3)#do you ever think about; like; rune prana. and how heartbreaking it is from a story perspective.#like. lest just. is in there for days at a time. do you ever think about. how worried selphia would be for him#and ive always hc’d him to have really bad issues with self worth but its so /real/. you know!!!!#he mentions his uncertainty with the kindness he’s offered a few times but!! he does not /believe/ he deserves any of it#and he tries to balance it out with offering /everything/ to the town. he tries so hard to feel like he’s earning it#n lots of that comes by trying to save venti!! of course it’s out of care for her but he also /needs/ to bring her back or he’s a failure!!#and he does not allow himself a moment of rest!! go into rune prana; fail; get patched up only as much as necessary; go back in#because he does not /deserve/ more than that until he earns it.#ITS LITERALLY JUST A DUNGEON IN A VIDEO GAME but LIKE. do you ever THINK ABOUT IT EHEDNJ.#like from the /moment/ lest gets to selphia he’s thrown into essentially a position of royalty and he takes it on but he does not accept it.#his immediate way of paying back what he’s given is through the farm. and eventually that grows into what he can do for /everyone/#lest of course is given the lighthearted kind caring protagonist personality#but you can SEE he feels so much more than that and he doesn’t tell anyone!!! he doesnt want to concern /anyone/!!!!#I DIDNT MEAN TO RAMBLE SO MUCH EHEJNDM. im just your average lest kinnie i think about him & his relationship w/ selphia a normal amount <3#he needs a hug <3 mentally i am giving him a hug <3#HELP THESE TAGZ R SO LONG? BYE <3 THANK YOU FOR READING? <3333
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why is everything so hard. all the time.
#if i thiknk about the future for longer than 6 seconds i literally feel like throwing up#like i was driving home with groceries yesterday and started thinking about using those groceries and having to get more i literally felt#like swerving off the road dawg i am NOT cut out to be alive in the world i shouldve been secluded in a monastery somewhere FRRRRRR#WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD ALL THE TIME#like man ive got 3 more years until i graduate and i literally am filled with dread at any given moment that ill never be employed B)#no its great im doing so good im doing so good its fine literally how does anyone go through life with hope for the the future like#it literally feels fake i think theyre all lying about it
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𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐇𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐌⸻ some ~thoughts~ about harley and arkham, mostly inspired by harleen but also a bit by the mad love novel.
arkham is a place that’s given up on its patients ⸻ sometimes because of a lack of resources (or the misappropriation of them), sometimes because its leadership is simply unempathetic to its residents, sometimes because its doctors are burnt out from their lack of successes.
people don’t get out of arkham, not by getting better, at least. there’s been so few patients who have improved over the last decade that by the time harleen joins the staff, most of the doctors have lost hope completely. what’s the point in trying when nothing seems to get through to your patients? harleen resents this attitude, unable to see the point in practicing medicine if one has no faith in the work they’re doing. her fellow doctors attribute her optimism to her lack of experience, expecting that she will give up as they have after a few months at the institution.
most of arkham’s funding goes towards security measures, rather than towards advancements in treatment. most of its funding is private ⸻ and a significant portion of it is from those in gotham who do not wish to see arkham’s patients released, regardless of whether or not they’re improving. harleen resents this too, though there is little she can do about it without losing her own job. she vows to help arkham’s patients, rather than to give up on them.
harleen’s primary purpose at arkham is to find subjects for her research; she’s trying to demonstrate a link between long-term exposure to traumatic or violent events and the erosion of one’s capacity for empathy.
she’s on staff neither to provide therapy nor to handle patient medications. the irony of this is not lost on her, as she feels she cares far more about arkham’s patients than most of the other doctors on staff. their apathy infuriates her.
her research is funded by a grant from the wayne foundation, and bruce wayne swayed joan leland into allowing harleen access to arkham. she also intends to do comparative research at blackgate prison, but does not get the opportunity to do so before harvey dent’s attack, as blackgate is more reluctant than arkham is to allow her access.
since harleen is both fresh out of college and not a true employee of arkham, nobody takes her all that seriously. nobody believes in the work she’s doing. she’s very isolated from the rest of the staff as a result ⸻ and even when she does interact with them, they make it very clear that they find her ambition a function of her youth. harleen is written off over and over and over again, simply because she is a young woman who wants to change the world. no one bothers critiquing the scientific validity of her ideas - it is all personal. this plays a huge part in joker being able to manipulate harleen, because she is so fucking determined to prove everybody wrong about whether or not she can make a difference that she loses her ability to tell whether or not their critiques are based in reality.
harleen’s goal at arkham is neither to write a best-selling book nor to become a tv psychiatrist, like some older comics have suggested (🙄). she is there because she wants to help gotham. she believes that if she can figure out how trauma and empathy are connected, she can help gotham’s criminals, allowing them to break the cycle they have been trapped in. she wants to change the world, not get rich and famous.
the decision to allow harleen full access to the joker is a mistake. while harleen bears responsibility for allowing the doctor/patient relationship to erode so significantly, arkham failed its patients, failed its staff, and failed gotham by its inadequate internal controls.
despite arkham leadership having been fully aware of the joker’s manipulative capability ( and having witnessed his interactions with his prior doctors ), they allow harleen to interact with the joker alone. part of this is due to her insistence, but at no point do they intervene. they do not even intervene when harleen unplugs the cameras for her sessions, which is such a massive fucking red flag that i truly do not know how nobody was like, something is going on and we need to stop it. it’s not exactly news that arkham is incompetent, but the fact that harleen was literally able to sleep with the joker while he was being held in arkham is beyond professional incompetence. somebody should have noticed, and somebody should have intervened well before things got to that point, especially when j is known for his escapes and for manipulating his doctors.
harleen has always struggled with the concept of professional boundaries, since she believes connecting with her patients is important in breaking through to them, though i do not think this would have ever been anything more than a theoretical issue with anybody other than the joker. she would have upheld her professional responsibilities with any other patient ( which is demonstrated by her professionalism with ivy, though we all know how that relationship develops once they are both out of arkham. ) harleen would have been an excellent doctor had she never come into contact with the joker, who played on every single one of her sympathies, hopes, and triggers in order to get her completely under his control.
once harley escapes joker, she works with bruce wayne to ensure that nothing like what happened to her will ever happen again. cameras stay plugged in. patients don’t get unlimited access to their doctors. guards perform routine checks. she’s determined to leave no more cracks in the system for people like j to wiggle through.
it’s incredibly difficult for harley to sort out responsibility for what happened in arkham. part of the events that unfolded are entirely on her head. sleeping with your patient is just about the worst thing you can do as a psychiatrist. she had so many opportunities to look herself in the mirror and stop. that doesn’t mean that arkham wasn’t also in the wrong, as they should have noticed what was going on and stepped in on their patients’ behalf. no doctor should have access like that, especially with such a vulnerable population. additionally, harley knows that the events up until harvey dent’s attack played out exactly as joker wanted ⸻ he went so far as to steal the file on her research in order to make himself the perfect patient. she played right into his hand and she had no idea. it’s insanely messy, like so much of her life, and she has a very hard time finding the balance between holding herself accountable and forgiving herself as a result. none of this would have happened with anyone other than j, but harley still will doubt herself and her decision making for the rest of her life because of the way these events played out. i think this is why she is so fucking unlikely to ever go back into psychiatry and why she would retrain in another specialty, such as surgery.
#i just find it so immensely frustrating how harleen is immediately laughed off for daring to believe that she might have a good idea#because you know what? she is a damn good scientist and a damn good doctor ( j aside... )#it's not like she's NOT qualified. she literally is written off because she is young and hopeful. it makes her want to scream!!!!#it makes me want to scream too#when u alienate young women u should not be surprised when they turn away from u#( not that harley was.. like.. justified in anything that happened. i'm just saying.)#woulda been a lot harder for j to manipulate her if she wasn't so damn isolated#would have made such a huge difference if any of her superiors/peers had just... believed in her. given her the benefit of the doubt#and i know hindsight is 2020 and it's easy to be like 'well she didn't DESERVE the benefit of the doubt look what happened!'#but i would argue that the events with j would have been much less likely had literally. anyone. stood up for harleen.#cause a large part of the problem is that she literally feels like 'curing' j is the only fucking way she can PROVE herself#it's just a mess#⸻ on the very moment all was lost — arc 1.#⸻ i haven’t met the new me yet — headcanons.
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Scott Pilgrim is, I think, the best example I can think of for establishing a setting's Nonsense Limit.
The setting's Nonsense Limit isn't quite "How high-fantasy is this". It's mostly a question of presentation, to what degree does the audience feel that they know the rules the world operates by, such that they are primed to accept a random new element being introduced.
A setting with a Nonsense Limit of 0 is, like, an everyday story.
Something larger than life, but theoretically taking place in our world, like your standard spy thriller action movie has a limit of 1.
Some sort of hidden world urban fantasy with wizards and stuff operating in secret has a nonsense limit around 3 or 4. A Superhero setting, presenting an alternate version of our world, is a 5 or 6.
High fantasy comes in around a 7 or so, "Oh yeah, Wizards exist and they can do crazy stuff" is pretty commonly accepted.
Scott Pilgrim comes in at a 10.
If you read the Scott Pilgrim book, it starts off looking like a purely mundane slice of life. The first hint at the fantastical is Ramona appearing repeatedly in Scott's Dreams, and then later showing up in real life.
When we finally get an explanation, it's this:
Apparently Subspace Highways are a thing? And they go through people's heads? And Ramona treats this like it's obscure, but not secret knowledge. Ramona doesn't think she's doing anything weird here.
At this point, it's not clear if Scott is accepting Ramona's explanation or not, things kind of move on as mundane as ever until their Date, when Ramona takes Scott through subspace, and he doesn't act like his world was just blown open or anything, although I guess that could have been a metaphor.
there's a couple other moments, but everything with Ramona could be a metaphor, or Scott not recognizing what's going on. Maybe Ramona is uniquely fantastical in this otherwise normal world.
And then, this happens
Suddenly, a fantastical element (A shitty local indie band finishing their set with a song that knocks out most of the audience) is introduced unrelated to Ramona, and undeniably literal. We see the crowd knocked out by Crash and The Boys.
but the story doesn't linger on the implications of that, the whole point of that sequence is to raise the Nonsense Level, such that you accept it when This happens
Matthew Patel comes flying down onto the stage, Scott, who until this point is presented as a terrible person and a loser, but otherwise is extremely ordinary, proceeds to flawlessly block and counter him before doing a 64-hit air juggle combo.
Scott's friends treat this like Scott is showing off a mildly interesting party trick, like being really good at darts.
The establish that Scott is the "Best Fighter in the Province", not only are street-fighter battles a thing, Scott is Very Good at it, but they're so unimportant that being the best fighter in the province doesn't make Scott NOT a loser.
So when Matthew Patel shows off his magic powers and then explodes into a pile of coins, we've established "Oh, this is how silly the setting gets".
It's not about establishing the RULES of the setting so much as it is about establishing a lack of rules. Scott's skill at street-fighter battles doesn't translate to any sort of social prestige. Ramona can access Subspace Highways and she uses it to do a basic delivery job. It doesn't make sense and it's clear that it's not supposed to.
So later on, when Todd Ingram starts throwing around telekinesis, and the explanation we're given is "He's a Vegan" , you're already so primed by the mixture of weirdness and mundanity that rather than trying to incorporate this new knowledge into any sort of coherent setting ruleset, you just go "Ah, yeah, Vegans".
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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Dying thinking about gojo literally pinning and hardcore simping for reader, literally showering reader in praise, flattery and gifts because he no longer gives a damn about hiding his feelings, almost proposing to reader whenever he can and reader's just... completely clueless about it💀 and she thinks it's just gojo being friendly. Poor man would be absolutely devastated when he goes one day "[name] i'm in love with you" and she just goes "me too, i love all my friends!" 💀
she loves me, she loves me not! — gojo satoru x fem!reader
contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo (what’s new), highschool!gojo, he’s pathetic but in love your honor, oblivious!reader, ooc gojo i got carried away soz
notes. anon, when i first read your ask i literally started giggling and kicking my feet. that. is. so. gojo coded.
“please reject gojo and put him out of his misery,” utahime implored, taking hold of both of your hands. you think she’s asking, no, begging you to. beside her, shoko nods vigorously.
“but why?” you furrow your eyebrows, perplexed by their sudden request. “i can’t reject someone who doesn’t like me.”
shoko giggles at your comment. her laughter only wanes when she notices the dead serious look on your face. “... you seriously have no idea what we’re talking about?”
“not really,” you shrug, criss-crossing your legs to find some comfort on the hard wooden floor in shoko’s small dorm. it was late, past midnight, and the three of you had a shared mission tomorrow, but for some reason your two friends managed to rope you into their drinking circle.
utahime and shoko exchanged a significant glance, their unspoken communication raising your curiosity. utahime takes a long sip of her beer.
“hopeless. they’re both hopeless,” your short haired brunette friend lamented, pinching her nose bridge. it leaves a faint pink mark.
intrigued, you lean in closer towards the two, “care to elaborate?”
“you’ve never once questioned satoru’s borderline inappropriate behavior?” shoko asks you earnestly. you ponder for a moment, trying to recall any moments in the two years you’ve known the snow-haired boy.
“satoru is satoru…” you mumble, shaking your head in denial.
utahime’s eyes bug comically. she slams her can of beer harshly on the ground. you wince at the loud noise of the metallic can hitting the floor.
“you’re kidding. even i can see through that jerk!” utahime’s black pigtails sway wildly.
“[name], how about what happened in shinjuku last week on our day off?” shoko quietly reminds you of last weekend when the two of you along with satoru and suguru decided to empty your pockets in one of tokyo’s largest entertainment wards.
utahime’s head whips back and forth from her best friend to you, “eh? what happened?!”
from behind the dressing room curtain, you voiced your concerns, “shoko, i don't think we can afford designer clothes on our student budget.” the cream-colored silk dress you wore clung to your body, its price tag undoubtedly surpassing a year's worth of your student earnings.
“don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” shoko’s voice carried a knowing smile. “just come out and show me the dress!” you think satoru’s carefree attitude is rubbing off on her.
with a nervous sigh, you emerged from the dressing room. the dress fit like a glove, accentuating your body in just the right places.
bright flashes from shoko's phone startled you, and she chuckled deviously while rapidly typing. she tossed her phone onto a luxurious cushion, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of exposure.
“you look so sexy. even better than the model.” she gives you two thumbs up, eyes roaming your figure. you feel flushed at her praise.
“as flattered as i am, there’s no way i can afford this,” you look down at the dress, lips downturned. “i’d be in debt for life.”
“no need to worry,” shoko winked, leaving you confused. given that her income was similar to yours, it didn't make sense for her to be able to even dream of shopping designer.
a soft thud interrupted your conversation. you turn around to see a blue lollipop rolling on the expensive carpeting of the store.
“suguru, are my eyes deceiving me or is that an angel?” satoru's mouth is wide open as he shamelessly checks you out. he takes one of his hands and places it over his heart, gripping the fabric of his white shirt. the windbreaker he is wearing rustles at his dramatic movement.
“i think… i’m experiencing a heart attack! shoko help!” he kneels in the middle of the store dramatically. shoko shares an unamused look with suguru. the pair nod before simultaneously kicking satoru.
during all of the commotion, you stand awkwardly in the million yen dress.
“satoru, are you okay?” you watch him take the two blows from your friends, concern evident in your voice. he grunts softly before gently taking ahold of your hand.
“no,” he croaks with a playful glint in his eye. “i’m wounded and there’s only one way to fix it.”
you look at him, your gaze heavy with concern.
“i’m afraid you’ll have to kiss me for the pain to go away.” he added, blinking at you expectantly with his blue eyes.
you lightly shove him away from you. “you’re an idiot.” satoru laughs loudly.
“that’s what love does to a man.”
“yeah, yeah. i’m going to change out of this dress, don’t get into any more trouble while i’m gone.”
satoru’s grip on your hand strengthens, halting your actions.
“how much?”
“excuse me?”
“the dress. how much for it?” he stands up to his full height, reminding you of the obvious height difference between the two of you.
you're at loss for words. gojo was crazy, but definitely not crazy enough to spend a million yen on a silly dress.
shoko happily chimes into the conversation. “one million yen. it’ll be two million yen with the rest of my purchases though!”
suguru’s calm demeanor is replaced with shock. the black haired male’s jaw drops, “two million– satoru, you’re seriously not thinking about–”
“hah? who said i’m paying for your stuff?” gojo makes an ugly face at shoko.
she raises her hands innocently, “it’s not my fault the dresses come in a set. if you want to see your beloved [name] in that dress you’ll have to pay for mine as well.”
you watch shoko and satoru engage into a silent argument. the tension in the fitting room section is so thick, you think it’ll take a special grade weapon to slice through it.
trying to alleviate the mood you tell gojo, “satoru, you really don’t have to–”
“i’m buying you that dress.”
“o-okay.”
half an hour later, satoru happily strolls out of the store with an arm around your shoulder like he’d just won the lottery.
perhaps gojo is just naturally flirty, you had tried to reason to shoko and utahime.
it’s been a week since the eye-opening conversation with the two and you’ve found yourself on cleaning duty with said snow-haired boy. it was a miracle that satoru even showed up. he had a tendency to skip his turns, often resulting in a long lecture from yaga.
as the two of you worked silently in the empty classroom, you couldn't help but admire the setting sun. its golden rays painted the sky with hues of pink and orange, casting a warm glow over everything. unknowingly, while you gazed at the sky, gojo's gaze was firmly fixed on you.
breaking the silence, he asked, "have you ever thought about getting married?"
his question caught you off guard, causing you to momentarily pause from wiping the windows.
“not really,” you replied, biting your lip gently. “unless my family decides to arrange a marriage. you know how unforgiving the world of jujutsu sorcery is.”
gojo's grip on the broom tightened, his eyes locking onto yours with a newfound intensity.
"we should get married y'know," he blurted out.
the piece of cloth you were using slipped from your hand in shock. surely, he couldn't mean what he was saying. after all, the two of you were only second years.
“what?”
“i’m saying i think i’m in love with you.”
“oh.”
silence engulfs the room once more before a soft giggle escapes your lips.
satoru can only watch, entranced.
“that’s good to hear! i love you too– and suguru and shoko! perhaps the four of us should all just get married.” you chuckle into your hand.
satoru can't help but stare at your hand in envy. perhaps if he were the palm of your hand, he’d be able to feel the touch of your lips.
but he couldn’t. he was cursed as a man with an overpowered innate technique, and despite it all he couldn’t even gain the one thing he desired. gojo satoru watched you, eyes filled with a mixture of longing and defeat.
his devastation does not go unnoticed by you.
you were under the impression that he was grumpy because yaga had forced him into cleaning with you.
"cheer up, satoru! if we finish early enough," you continue, your tone highspirited, "we can go to the new crepe shop that opened last week. my treat!" you winked, and that immediately caught his attention.
“like a date?” his eyes sparkled with hope.
you shrug, a smile on your face. “i suppose if you look at it from a certain perspective…”
“great, it’s a date!”
good things come to those who wait, satoru thinks, humming happily as he starts to sweep the room at an inhumane pace.
maybe in ten years time the two of you will be happily married with eight kids, he smiles to himself.
#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojou satoru x you#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#this is me coping bc of the leaks
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