get to know the mun.

what's your phone wallpaper: my lockscreen is a photo my best friend and I took on a small rowboat in Sweden last summer. My background is a cute photo of my parents from behind, made even more special to me by the fact that my dad is wearing our team's football jersey which has our family's name and our football motto on it :)

last song you listened to: Little Dark Age, MGMT

currently reading: PiKHAL by Alexander Shulgin. I read TiKHAL (the second book) first bc I'm more interested in the subject of the second book!

last movie: Ummmm Ég Man Þig?? or Hlemmur?? OR The Cowboy Bebop movie LMFAOOO I can't remember the last movie I watched tbh I don't do that very often

last show: How To Change Your Mind

what are you wearing right now: the leggings I wear under my fishing trousers (I was fishing lmao), a crop top and a university hoodie

piercings/tattoos?: I have my earlobes pierced and seven tattoos!! They are: - a vegvísir and the date I was told I was cancer free (09.02.17, I got the tattoo the day after lol, it was my very first!) - coordinates - a quote from an anime (which is and always has been a very cringe anime but idgaf it brought me joy at the time and I don't fuck with regrets so. Yeah I have a Voltron tattoo that says 'go, be great'). no regrets - "þetta reddast", an Icelandic phrase which means 'things will work out' which sounds great and happy but is also used in like a fake-positivity, dismissive way. I'm not the best with my own emotions sometimes and I felt like it was funny and fitting bc I expect positivity of myself Always (I'm in therapy now lmao) and that ain't realistic - "ævintýri", the Icelandic word for 'adventure' bc that's what my life is all about <3 - a sun, because in the past few years several people have told me I'm "bright like the sun", "the human embodiment of sunshine", etc. and that's the nicest compliment I've ever gotten. I want to keep that with me always :') - a plane, a (semi) matching tattoo I got with a girl in a hostel I met for one (1) day. I held the door for her and we started talking. It was her first time in Ireland so I bought her a Guinness and taught her the word 'sláinte' - we decided we'd get tattoos to commemorate our meeting and carry a wee bit of one another with us :) she got sláinte tattooed but if I got that I'd get beat up bc I'm from the North so she got sláinte and I got a plane (which she had suggested). Everytime I look at that tattoo I think about her and how grateful I am we met, even just for a day.

glasses/contacts?: I wear glasses most of the time but I have contacts I can wear when I feel like!!

last thing you ate: onion rings lmao

favorite colors: YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW!!! I'm slowly making my life as full of yellow as possible bc it brings me joy :)

current obsession: I'm always obsessed with mushrooms and poisons tbh. mycology and toxicology are my shit. Recently I've also been focusing on one biiig passion of mine - getting more involved in activism and advocating for [redacted bc I know the topic can be triggering/sensitive for some people so I want to be mindful]

do you have a crush right now?: that Hozier song that is like "I fall in love just a little bit every day with someone new" is me bc I love people. I just love people. I'm not in love with people, I just love them - friends, strangers, whatever. But yes I have a crush right now lol I'm just sort of going with the flow and not really acknowledging it bc I'm so free spirited that idk where I want to be right now exactly, so I'm just gonna see how it all goes!!

favorite fictional character: OH DAMN. fuck. I mean, Fannar, my OCs Afthas and Hrafna. My best friend's characters (her Finland for example, UGH I'M OBSESSED). Other than that...?? Lio Fotia is my babygirl (and my cosplay victim <;3)

tagged by: @fangmother

tagging: @frestoniia @offreedom @ anyone else who wants to do it!!!

The "I Can 'Pin' Posts on Tumblr Now? Since When?" Intro/Masterpost

Greetings and welcome to the "Who The Fuck Am I?" post written by yours truly, whoever the fuck I am. Now that I'm back on my Fandom bullshit again in at least 2 blogs, I thought I'd re-introduce myself.

I am 2nd gen Korean-American on the Best West Coast. I ID as she/they/shiro, and ace/demi. I'm in the millennial bracket (aka, I am a Legal Adult) so be mindful when interacting with me. I do what I can to be antiracist and am always learning to be better.

I am some iteration of "shirozora" on: LiveJournal, Dreamwidth, AO3, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Discord. My first Fandom 2.0 was political/pundit RPF and my first fandom fallout was Racefail '09, so you could say I've Seen Some Shit. Been 5+ years since I last engaged in actual Fandom, yet here the fuck I am.

Fandoms I have written/drawn for (FFN years do not count, I purged that account): political/pundit RPF, Supernatural, Tron: Legacy, MCU, Star Trek (AOS), Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Final Fantasy XIV, Star Wars/The Mandalorian

A Short List Of Things I Wrote in No Particular Order:

Lost Symphony (T): SPN; Dean/Cassie, Sam/Jessica, pre-Dean/Castiel; for the Racebending Revenge challenge - "Mary Ahn Winchester died on the ceiling of the nursery on November 2, 1983."

We Are Pilots (T+): Tron: Legacy; Sam/Tron; for the Tron Kink Meme - "Six months and Sam still can't shake off his father's ghost, so Quorra suggests returning to the Grid to find the answers he needs to move on."

Wishing Well (T): Captain America: The First Avenger; Steve/Howard, Steve/Peggy, unfulfilled Howard/Peggy/Steve; for the Cap Kink Meme - "And you just wanna feel like a coin that's been tossed / In a wishing well, a wishing well."

A Thousand Eyes Staring Back (T+): Mass Effect 2; Kaiden/m!Shep - "His problems start at Horizon, aka that time Kaidan Alenko was having a really bad day and his former CO was supposed to be dead."

Waking Ghosts (T+): Dragon Age; Dorian Pavus/Male Trevelyan Inquisitor; the Mummy (1999) AU nobody asked for - "Dorian Pavus, formerly of Qarinus, is an archivist at the Magisterium research outpost in Hightown."

Seasons Change (T): Black Panther/MCU; M'Baku/T'Challa - "A fisherman finds a dying king in his nets and Hanuman offers M'Baku an opportunity to repay T'Challa for sparing his life at Warrior Falls."

born in a thunderstorm (T+): Star Trek: AOS, Captain Marvel, Thor: Ragnarok, Guardians of the Galaxy; Kirk/McCoy; the worst AU I ever wrote - "Kevin Riley insists that James Kirk didn't die on Tarsus IV. Nobody believes him."

Dangerous Dreams series (T) - The Storm; The Suns; Between Planets: Star Wars/The Mandalorian; Din/Luke; the reason why I'm writing this post - "To want something for yourself, that is a dangerous dream."

I cross-post and occasionally write about writing at @shirozora-writes. But I bet a bunch of y'all stumbled into my little sandbox through @shirozora-draws, so let's talk about that!

I suffered from artist's block for almost 4 years. That ended when I became utterly fixated on "So Grogu has two dads now - oh no." I fucking ragequit Star Wars after the fucking world lied to me about The Last Jedi* and now I'm doing the most insane and involved fanworks because of Star Wars. The fuck???

To end this unapologetically long-ass Intro Post, here are my 3 favorite recent doodles:

The original post is here. First time animating with Clip Studio Paint and I had a two-day meltdown over it.

The original post is here. Fun fact: the file name is "homoerotic chin tilt yolo". Also, 6.4k notes? You guys are wild.

The original post is here. The final illustration from The Suns.

*I hate The Last Jedi the most not just because it's racist sexist garbage that trashed everyone except Kylo Ren whoever the fuck he thinks he is, and jumpstarted some of the most toxic fandom behavior I had the displeasure of witnessing, but also because I read so much praise for it before walking into the theater, paying for a ticket with my own money, and realizing 5 minutes into the film that I was gonna have the worst time of my life. I can't and probably will never watch Knives Out because I still haven't forgiven the director for the psychological damage. This is 100% a TLJ Hate Zone.

The Gaang are Roommates AU ~

note: this is a rewrite and repost of my old roommates au, there was some stuff I wanted to change, and I wanted to make the parts a little longer, so yeah, ta-dah! 

- think modern setting in the canon universe, bending is still a thing 

- the Gaang are all in going to Ba Sing Se University 

- I’m gonna change the ages a bit to make it easier for myself, sorry 

- Zuko, Sokka, Suki and Mai are 20, Katara, Ty Lee and Azula are 19, Aang, Toph and Yue are 18

- so, Zuko, Sokka, Katara, Aang and Toph end up living together in a big loft type apartment 

- Sokka and Aang are old best friends, they met Toph in Middle School, and Katara is a natural part of the group 

- until now Sokka and Katara have both been living in the dorms, and they both hate it intensely 

- but now that Aang and Toph are also in uni, they all decide to move in together!

- …but the only problem is that the only place they find that they like is just out of their price rage (Toph’s parents aren’t supportive of her major so they’re not helping out much)

- enter: ~ Zuko ~

- so, Zuko has been living with his uncle Iroh since his Father, who’s a high up in some big and important company the Fire Nation, disowned him for speaking up against the company’s shifty treatment of workers and ruining a lot of sacred land etc 

- they’re still firebenders and the scar still happened, not in an Agni Kai, but it happened 

- but after Zuko started uni, Iroh really tried to push him to meet some people his own age and make some friends

- the only people Zuko talks to on the regular besides Iroh is Azula, Ty Lee and Mai, and Mai is the only one who is like, his friend yanno?

- the last year the deal was that if Zuko didn’t branch out, Iroh would have him live one year with other students

- it’s his idea of tough love 

- Zuko tried to do some random kid’s homework to have them pretend to be his new friend in front of Iroh so he wouldn’t have to, but Iroh can tell he’s lying so easily 

- so, Zuko ends up hearing about the Gaang through Mai, who heard from Ty Lee, who plays field hockey, Suki, who’s best friends with Sokka

- so, he goes to meet them, and it’s so awkward mY GOD

- Katara is a B I G environmental activist and HATES Ozai and his company, with good reason

- she eases up a tad when Zuko admits to being turned away from as a teen, but she is still suspicious

- Aang loves him right away, ofc, and that makes Katara even more suspicious because she’s pretty protective of Aang

- she claims it’s because he’s so kind and believes everyone but she totally liikeees hiiiim

- Toph is just like, sure, as long as he pays his rent idgaf

- Sokka is weirdly quiet, because he’s had a huge crush on Zuko forever, and the only one who knows is Aang (and Toph but she ain’t no snitch)

- so, ya boy makes the cut, and before they know it, it’s move-in day!

- but, the idiots didn’t think through the facts that it’s only three bedrooms oops

- and Toph is NOT afraid to pull the “I’m blind and I need my space” card

- and nobody’s up to fight her on it, so 

- let’s just say there is A LOT of back and forth, but with Katara refusing to room with her brother again, and Zuko being rightfully scared of Katara, it ends up with Zuko and Sokka sharing a bedroom, and Katara and Aang

- they have separate beds ofc

- but still, tension, man, so much tension

- it takes a while, but the dynamics starts working out really well

- Zuko is good at grocery shopping and likes to clean, and Aang is always happy to help him out

- Sokka loves cooking, so he does that a lot

- Katara is always on top of the others with schoolwork and making sure everyone is okay, and she usually does it in genius, sneaky ways so people doesn’t even notice that she does it

- Toph is clearing the air off bullshit

- like, she will call a bitch out

- but because she cares about said bitch

- so, Aang knows that Sokka has a crush on Zuko because Sokka told him in a weak moment, and Toph knows because she just knows

- Aang is a good friend tho, and he tries to like, ease them together

- but he is so awkward about it, the poor thing, and Zuko doesn’t understand AT ALL

- Toph is just sitting back and sighing a lot

- Katara doesn’t understand either but she just stays out of it (smart girl)

- but okay, we know how oblivious Zuko can be right?

- Sokka can give him googly eyes and blush and stutter around him so much and he still has no clue at all

- Zuko starts thinking Sokka just doesn’t like him at all

- but then one night Zuko has this really intense nightmare

- okay and quick addition, his scar is… handshaped? Like, you can clearly tell what happened to him

- but nobody talks about it, yet

- but then he’s having a terrible nightmare and is talking and begging and pleading in his sleep

- so much that Sokka wakes up

- and he catches on pretty fast, but had no idea what to do

- so he just shuffles over to Zuko’s side of the room and starts tapping his shoulder rapidly

- but nothing happens

- so he just… gently and awkwardly pats his head until Zuko wakes up

- and Zuko is like… wat u doin there bro

- and Sokka is like… just patting ur head to wake you from a nightmare bro

- and they awkwardly just mumble and go back to their beds

- but Zuko is smiling a lot because someone who’s not his family or a family friend really cares about him

- after that, Zuko slowly starts opening up to all of them, but Sokka especially 

- he never really tells them about being cast out and burned tho

- until one day he kinda casually slings it into a convo all fast and awkwardly

- it’s just Toph, Aang and Sokka there

- Toph yells so WHAATTT so loudly and just metalbends the whole fridge into a clump in rage

- Aang cries lmao but he tries to hide to and be supportive and not awkward

- Sokka is kinda quiet, but he carefully asks about it that night when they’re in their beds, and they talk a little about it

- Aang tells Katara (with permission) and she awkwardly, but wholeheartedly tells him that he can always talk to her

- they do that «awkward sibling hug» from Gravity Falls after

- *hugs stiffly* «pat, pat»

- but okay, Toph and metalbending when angry, it happens quite a lot 

- this was the first time it was the fridge, but the toaster, the microwave, and several other appliances have met the same fate

- everyone is kinda used to it now, and she always replaces it

- except Zuko, who’s still kinda new to them all

- but what are you supposed to say when your new friends is so outraged by the abuse you went through that they crush a whole ass fridge?

- it actually reminds him that he’s cared for here, by these people who owe him nothing, and is not related to him, and it makes him a little dizzy to have people care this way

- he casually mentions it to his Uncle Iroh the time he’s in at work, that his new friend is a metalbender and squashed their whole fridge when she was pissed on his behalf

- Iroh is thrilled

- to the point of offering Toph a job lmao

- Toph, desperate to cut of as much ties with her family and be as self-sufficient as possible, agrees

- and now Iroh have two formerly rich kids with no clue about any sort of customer service and basic stuff like that working for him

- Toph is a hard worker tho, and she and Zuko work surprisingly well together

- Katara is a little relived, because the more those two work, the less are the chances of either of them trying to cook or do too many chores around their apartment

- they mean well, or, Zuko does, but he does so much dumb shit when trying to help lmao

- Sokka starts spending a lot of time over at The Jasmine Drago too

- Aang is still trying to keep the fact that Sokka likes Zuko a secret, but he is having trouble

- Katara is his biggest weakness, and now they’re suddenly alone with her a lot

- someone else who could always read Sokka really well is Suki

. whom he used date in high school, but they parted as friends and everything s cool

- but Sokka is a little taken aback when she comes into The Jasmine Dragon one day, hand in hand with Sokka’s childhood crush obsession, Yue

- for the first time in man’s memory, Sokka is a little speechless

- and Suki’s like “lmao dude I haven’t seen you like this since the first time you saw Zu-”

- cue Zuko popping out behind them like “WELCOME TO THE JASMINE DRAGON FRIENDS OF SOKKA :D”

- Sokka is so fucking red, poor boy is just about having an aneurism at this point

- but luckily something happens and Zuko gets distracted

- Suki is having the time of her life tho, Sokka always used to tease her for her crushes before and after they dated, and suddenly, here they are

- at the apartment, Aang decides they need some apartment traditions

- they’ve been living there for almost three months, after all

- so he decides that weekly movie nights are mandatory

- so are pillowforts

- Katara is actually really excited for it, she loves all things cozy and fall-like

- also… she is weak for Aang, y’all, and she loves seeing him all excited

- Zuko barely knows what a pillowfort is, he didn’t think real people actually made it

- but imagine these dorks in a pillowfort with hot chocolate and lot’s of pillows

- Toph claims that she thinks it’s soo dumb, but she will always make sit in the middle of the group all wrapped in her blanket and laughing when the others jump and get spooked from the horror movies Sokka always wants to watch

- and she will make sure the fort is right and perfect lmao

- Zuko is a little awkward about it at first, but he likes it too

- Sokka always manages to plop in next to Zuko lmao

- they haven’t talked about the head patting incident yet, but Zuko is def starting to feel the butterflies

- one time after a movie night Sokka falls asleep on Zuko’s shoulder, after the others have left for the night

- Zuko can’t resist waking him up with awkward head pats similar to the one Sokka used on him

- Sokka thinks he died and went to heaven lmao

- but then he fully wakes and sees Zuko’s shit eating grin and can’t help but laugh at the whole thing

- and Zuko has his “oh no he’s hot beautiful and I really adore him” moment

A

Achievements: Hmmm, finished my classes for my Bachelor’s.

Age: 31.

Are you planning something right now? Yes.

Arizona or Alaska: Alaska.

B

Birthdate: April 4, 1989.

Build: Short and fat, hahaha.

Babies, do you have any? Nope.

Blonde or Brunette: Brunette.

C

Childhood sweetheart: Eric.

Current mood: Anxious.

Children, are there more in your future? At this point, I’m getting older with no prospects of a man to have a child with...sooo....

Coke or Pepsi: Coke.

D

Dad's name: Jamie.

Dating anyone: No.

Do you plan on having lots of money? Yes.

Dogs or cats: Cats.

E

Elementary School: I went to several.

Eye color: Brown.

Ever going to China? I actually have gone to China. X’ian.

Early or Late: Early.

F

First Crush: Oh gosh, I don’t even remember.

Fears: Wasting my life. --> yep.

Future goals: Teach, ASL interpreter.

Funny or Serious: Funny.

G

Grandparent's names: Sharon, Lee, Keith, Jean.

GPA: 3.2?

Going anywhere this weekend? Going to Josie’s.

Giver or Taker: Giver, I would say.

H

High School: I went to a public school ;)

Hair color: In high school? I feel like we already answered this.

Hate anyone for life? I dislike.

Hairspray or Gel: I don’t use either.

I

In 8th grade, who was your best friend? Dawn.

Is ignorance bliss? Nah.

Is there anything you wanna share? I’m feeling fucking anxious.

Ice Cream or Cake: Ice cream.

J

Jumped rope for fun: In the past, yes.

Junk around you right now? Everywhere, my room is pretty messy. Focusing on cleaning it this weekend.

Joining anything anytime soon? I don’t think so.

January or July: July.

K

Killed anyone: Nope.

Keeping a secret? It’s been a secret for my whole life.

Kicking someone off your top friends today? Ummmm, I haven’t had a MySpace in years.

Kiwi or Apple: Kiwi.

L

Lost anyone close to you: Yes.

Last kiss, when and who: Ang Li and it was probably during September or October.

List 3 people that you'll love forever: My Mom, Devon, Michaela. I would also say Christiana, but then that makes it four.

Lover or Fighter: Lover, for sure.

M

Middle School: I went to the same middles school as I did for high school.

Marital Status: Single.

Mom's name: Lee Anne.

Music or TV: Music.

N

Northernmost state you've been to: Oregon.

Nickname: Katie.

Name your future boy and girl: Genesis, for a girl. A boy, I’m not entirely sure.

Naughty or Nice: Probably nice, overall. --> yep.

O

Opened a piece of mail that wasn't yours? Uhhh, I don’t think so. If I did, it was on accident.

Occupation: Behavioral Specialist.

Owe anyone money: Yes.

Outgoing or Shy: Outgoing.

P

Place you most want to be? Not here.

Purposely destroyed someone’s life? No.

Planning a major trip? Yes.

Pink or Black? Black.

Q

Quit a class: Yes.

Quickly...the first word to come to mind: Jack-o-lantern.

Quitting your job soon? Nope.

Quiet or Loud: Loud.

R

Riding in an airplane: Yes.

Ride, tell me about yours: I no longer have a car :(

Running for any political office in the future? Hahaha, no.

Rain or Snow: Rain.

S

Siblings names and ages: Devon and Derek. Devon is 29, Derek...idgaf about that douche.

Shoe size: 10

Shave daily? Nope.

Shower or Bath: Shower. I don’t have a bathtub.

T

Turning 21 was (will be): It was fun.

Texas, ever been? Nope.

Think you'll live to be 100? Nope. I have a feeling I’m gonna die pretty young.

Tame or Wild: Wild.

U

Unique quality about you: I can’t think of any.

Underwear on? Nah, bruh. I’m in my PJs.

Under your bed lies: Boxes.

Under or Over: I don’t know what you’re asking, but.....under?

V

Virgin? No.

Vacation time left? Zero.

Voting in the next Presidential election? Prob not.

Volleyball or Swimming: Swimming, but for fun.

W

Went white water rafting? No, but I would love to.

Wearing right now: Hoody and sweatpants.

Write a sentence about you: I’m alive.

West Coast or East Coast: I like the charm of west coast, and I live on the east coast.

X

X-Rays in the past month: None.

X-Mas plans: I just went to my parents.

X, does it mark the spot? Sure.

X-Tina or Britney? I don’t listen to either.

Y

You lost "it" when? I was older. 28 or 29.

Your favorite song: Litost, by X Ambassadors.

Your favorite place on Earth: I really don’t have a favorite place right now.

Yes or No: ....yes.

Z

Zodiac Sign: Aries.

Zippos are neat, agree? No.

Zoo or Circus: Zoo.

I’m going to tell you a story, because I don’t know what else to do with this information or how to process it lmao.

I had some problems finding my place in XIV and its community at first when I started playing at 2.0′s launch and it nearly caused me to quit the game. And a huge portion of this problem was a girl who played a Miqo’te named something along the lines of R’aenah (the character has no doubt long since been deleted or renamed). I started 2.0 with @its-the-val-pal, who had played my character’s husband in our previous MMO, and we decided to reroll similar characters here. We intended for our characters to become romantically involved again, but we didn’t want their relationship to feel rushed or forced, so we waited for it to happen organically, if it were to work out at all. But being new to the game (or, rather, the game and community itself being new), we were trying to make new contacts, and one who’d shown interest in Val was R’aenah. Her character almost immediately proved to be sexually attracted to his, and idgaf, IC is IC and she could have been thirsting for him OOC for all I cared. Our characters weren’t even dating yet. We have no OOC involvement. No skin off my back. At first. RPing with Val quickly became impossible, especially anything that was one-on-one or would help push our characters’ relationship in the direction we were hoping. I was still low level, so we could only (safely) RP in so many places. We both only had so much time to dedicate to FFXIV which didn’t always overlap, and we were both still trying to level. We didn’t have a ton of time to RP. R’aenah began to crash every single one of our RP’s. As soon as she saw us online in the same area, she’d run around until she found our characters and immediately swoop in IC.  Due to the IC dynamics between the characters at the same time, the scene always played out the same. R’aenah would barge in no matter what was happening to immediately try to convince Val to sleep with her and drag him off for sex or other alone time right then and there, and make some jabs at Faye in the process. Val, single and at his maximum horndogness and probably the peak of his sexual frustration, would be intrigued. Faye would be like “wtf are you doing, you’re my bodyguard, you’re not supposed to ditch me to sleep with random women (especially ones being super bitchy to me) while you’re on the job.” And then R’aenah would start hurling insults at Faye for trying to cockblock her, Val would take R’aenah’s side and even join in because as far as he was concerned she was the one putting out and Faye was his snobby employer who kept rejecting him, and Faye would get furious until the situation would escalate to the two of them having a good ol’ Faye roastfest until she stormed off and they could flirt or bang in peace. And it was frustrating. I didn’t really care what was happening IC. But I did care that I couldn’t enjoy RP with my RP partner anymore on an OOC level because it either never happened, or wasn’t fun when it did. Faye was either quickly edged out of any RP we tried to do, or I’d have to sit through an RP of two characters trying to get laid with each other meanwhile harassing my character nonstop, which proved to be not fun RP content after a while, and also made little sense from a meta standpoint because Faye wouldn’t just hang around and endure that. But the source of the problem was IC, and I didn’t want anyone to have to censor or change how their characters naturally behaved, so I kept my mouth shut about my frustrations.  But things quickly bled over into OOC. R’aenah started telling Val things like how he owed her RP, he needed to spend more time with her, he should spend less time with me, he had already been RPing with me enough (even though the reason we had to try to schedule so many RP’s is because we had no quality time RPing together because she crashed them all). He tried to explain to her that we’d been friends for two years, that we hoped/intended for Faye and Val to get together, that I was his primary RP partner, but that meant nothing because apparently some rando with no relation to him IC or OOC trumped that because she said so. I began to realize the things she was doing IC weren’t just her character’s personality coupled with some OOC obliviousness to our space and time together but were part of some weird agenda to cut me out of Val’s RP time so she could monopolize all his character’s time and make sure he never got together with Faye. That didn’t fly for long. We cut ties with her, I told her to fuck off, she called me a bitch/cunt/etc. and said she was quitting the game forever, we’d never see her again, yadda yadda.  TWO GODDAMN YEARS LATER. A girl joined my FC playing an Elezen. She gave no indication that she knew either of us and did not state in her app that she’d played another character or under another name. She was fine and normal at first. Eventually, one evening I noticed her character had some IC jealousy issues and was acting extremely petty. It sent up red flags for me since 90% of the time I’ve seen that, it’s bled OOC. I wasn’t surprised when I got a message the very next day from the same girl she’d been harassing IC telling me the same thing had been happening OOC. So I sat her down, we had a talk, told her that shit wasn’t gonna happen again, and to my knowledge she chilled out... on that single front. She started dating a dude in the FC, he bought a plane ticket for them to visit each other. Another girl who’d had experiences with the same guy told her it wasn’t a good idea. She immediately broke up with the dude and cancelled their plans to meet. She started mocking the dude to someone in private about how he hadn’t been able to get it up to exchange nudes with her. Thanks, tmi. She met up IRL with a couple other people from the FC and apparently hooked up with one of them. Tmi again, thanks, why do people tell me about these things. She got super jealous and abusive with the person she hooked up with IRL. Despite all these things, she goes on and on about how ERP is disgusting and tries to shame people in the FC who admit to doing it. Drama from all these things ensued. She eventually got kicked for said drama. I’m mean and evil for kicking her for “no reason,” etc. A few months passed. Some ERP-for-gil courtesan starts chatting at me OOC and gushes about my character and tells me how much she wants to RP. We get a few posts in and suddenly it’s too late and she’s tired and has to go right now. She apologizes profusely and promises to RP another time. It never happens. On multiple occasions, she stands across the room from my character for hours with my RP flag up, but she doesn’t approach me and I don’t hear from her OOC about it again.  Courtesan, however, does contact Val one day and says we seem really nice, it’s so weird her roommate really hates us. She tells Val her roommate is the Elezen girl who was kicked from our FC. Weird, confusing, and bizarrely coincidental, but hey. Neither of us hear from courtesan again. She name changed and fantasia’d several times and I’ve lost track of who she even is on my friends list since then. A few more months passed. Tonight, Val and I are reminiscing about some of the really crazy stuff that happened to us when we started playing. “I bet half these people who told us they’re ‘quitting forever’ after they got caught being creepy/jerks are long since playing again with new names or characters.” We get nosy so we look into a few. We dig up R’aenah’s old, long abandoned RPC profile. Lo and behold, it no longer lists R’aenah as her character... but instead, the name of the Elezen who’d stirred up all that drama in our FC. For like a year??? This girl who had almost made me give up on the game yet boo-hoo’d about how I made her “quit forever”??? was in my FC??? that we led??? certainly knowing it was us since we’re playing the same characters with the same looks and names and personalities and same FC name and acronym since launch??? not saying a word about it to us??? acting all buddy-buddy with us both??? coming to me for advice for her problems??? whining to me about all the drama she stirred up herself in the fc??? acting like it was unjust she got kicked for it??? completely hiding who she was all that time??? What the fuck? So that is my story. Balmung may seem to have a huge number of people are who are creepers or assholes. Apparently half of them are the same people just pretending to be someone else. Idk if that’s reassuring or even more unsettling. But, y’know, there ya go. (and I was already a little rattled because today someone asked to join my closed FC and a quick google search revealed it was a girl who’d hated me and been out for my blood in TERA)

SO YEAH, THAT’S MY FUN STORYTIME, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT AND FURIOUSLY GOOGLE EVERYONE YOU MEET

I am mainly posting this for 2 reasons:I didn't have the best luck with dating in college and I put up with my fair share of abusive relationships and fuckboys (but this post can also apply to fuckgirls (yes they are a thing))I have seen too many of my friends put up with WAYYYY too much crap from somebody they are interested in and time and time again go back constantly excusing the shitty things said love interest has doneSo, I'm going to start with example #1:My best friend in college met a professional baseball player, lets just call him MLB. She was totally enamored with him. First time she met MLB, he was in her town for a game, went on a date, had sex, etc. From there, he talked to her for a couple weeks, would even face time with her. Then eventually he ghosted her and she was devastated.This became a pretty frequent pattern. He would sometimes talk to her for a month or so (usually when he knew he was going to be back in town for a game), they'd meet up, have sex, then he would tell her he was sorry for not talking to her but he was "just so busy with baseball." He promised to take her on exotic vacations etc and would tell her how much he liked her and get her hopes up so much, then he would not talk to her again for a month or two. She put up with this for years, and would constantly make excuses for his behavior and just go right back to him and get hurt all over again.I was very upfront with her about my feelings on the situation - I would CONSTANTLY tell her that he clearly doesn't want anything serious, and that he is using her, that he probably has a girl in every town he plays in..... and she would go, "you're right, you're right. I am going to block him. I am going to cut him out of my life".... then a week later I would get a text from her saying "OMG, MLB just viewed my snapchat story. Like clearly he's still into me." ... stuff like that. This went on for years, and while they aren't currently talking and its been probably a year since shes talked to MLB.... I bet that if he contacted her again she would give him another chance.I don't blame her for doing this, and I understand how hard it can be to experience unrequited love. I know that when you really like somebody, and want to believe that they like you in return, its hard to not hold out hope that them "liking" or "viewing" a post of yours is some sign of something bigger and that they really do like you.. but if their behavior doesn't match these "signs".. you should probably take a hard look and realize that its just as innocent as them viewing a post and its not them trying to get with you.​Ill bring up example #2 now, in which I delt with my own fuckboy.Well call this guy "John".John and I met my sophomore year at university through work. An hour after we met, he friended me on Facebook and twitter. I was very excited because I found him very attractive and really wanted a boyfriend. John soon began favoriting every tweet I posted, started messaging me almost daily in response to something I posted. Eventually we started crossing paths more and actually found out we had a lot of mutual friends.I clearly felt that John was interested in me due to him constantly engaging with me on social media... I would check to see if he was doing this to other girls too and while he would occasionally like other girls posts, it seems like mine was very frequent compared to others.John asked me for my number eventually, and started inviting me to study with him both alone and in groups. He started inviting me to do more and more, like come over and watch movies, etc. After a month or two of this, my sorority was having a formal so I decided to get up the courage and ask him. He immediately said yes. We had a wonderful time, and he invited me back to his place for the night. We only cuddled, and didn't even kiss or make out or have sex or anything. He drove me home the next morning, and texted me the next day telling me how great of a time he had and how we should hang out again soon. I later found out through his friends that his family was in town that weekend, and he skipped seeing them for one night of the weekend to come to my formal. I didn't know he did this at the time, but when I found out, combined with the other signs he was giving me, I was VERY convinced he liked me.However, I started realizing that his "signs" were often unpredictable and inconsistent. Sometimes we would hang out several times a week for a month or two, and then it would be like he feel off the face of the earth. Then, out of nowhere I would get a text from him saying he was having a party at his place and I should come. He would be VERY adamant about me coming and would even offer to come pick me up from my apartment and bring me to his party so that I wouldn't need to find a ride. Sometimes he would be really flirty with me at his parties, and sometimes he would completely ignore me and dance with other girls.This only made me like him more and want his attention more. I went home for thanksgiving break, but he stayed behind at university because his hometown was 4 hours away and he wanted to stay at school to catch up on homework. He begged me to come back to university and keep him company and study with him. So, me being the dumbass I was went back the day after thanksgiving. He game over to study, would pick up a pizza on the way because he knew I loved pizza, and would be super flirty. After studying, he would ask to go to my place and watch movies together, and he would inch his hand closer to mine and just give me such butterflies in my stomach, but would never make a move. This went on for probably 8 months with cycles of him doing this then not talking to me for several weeks.I finally got fed up with it and confronted him a few months before the end of the school year. I told him I really liked him, and I feel like he has been giving me mixed signals for a while now and I wanted to know how he felt. He told me that he liked me, but wasn't looking for a relationship. I was VERY hurt because I was crazy about this kid, but at the same time I was super happy I finally had an answer and could begin the healing process and move on and find somebody who wouldn't play with my feelings like this.I did consider him a good friend, so I told him I needed some space to get over him but that eventually we could maybe be friends again. I avoided him for about a month, and was finally doing really well... however I did secretly hope deep down that he would change his mind eventually, realize he made a mistake, and want a relationship with me.A week before school ended, he texts me that him and his roommates are having an end of year party and I should come. I convinced some of my friends to go, and told everyone it was fine and I was over him and just wanted to go to try and at least reestablish a friendship with him. I tried to talk to him very little at the party because finally seeing him in person was a lot harder than I thought it would be, but he was VERY flirty with me and eventually was putting his arm around me. We left the party together and went and got food, then he brought me back to his apartment and asked me to spend the night. I told him we could hang out for a while but I wasn't going to spend the night. We started having a drunk talk where I told him that he really hurt me, and he goes "Will you please let me take you out on a date." I told him I would need to think about it. He then grabbed me and kissed me and we ended up just kissing/ cuddling/ making out for about three hours. I went home after that and didn't spend the night. It didn't go past kissing. Once again though, my hopes were up. I was so excited that he told me he wanted to take me on a date and felt this finally meant he realized he wanted to be with me.Well, the date never happened. We both lived at college for the summer, even hung out a bit, but he never mentioned the date again. I realized I could have asked him, but I felt like he knew my feelings and that I liked him, and I really felt that if it was important enough to him he should have asked me.This cycle continued for 3 MORE FREAKING YEARS. No matter what this kid did to me, I would always take it as a sign he liked me, would get hurt, not talk for a couple months, then he would text me a funny meme out of nowhere and talk to me completely normally like nothing happened. Took me to a concert once and out to eat after. Would still always try to study with me/ hang out with me. Would ghost me again - and I was too stupid to just cut this kid out of my life.I was at a really low point in college, I was pretty depressed and I don't think it helped. But, I finally started wanting better for myself and one day I just deleted him from everything. He would text me, I just stopped responding. I deleted him on snapchat, he readded me, I declined the request, he tried to add me again. I deleted him on facebook, he tried to readd me. Eventually I just let the requests sit there but ignored them. Eventually, now that I am over him I readded him just because IDGAF about him anymore and I have grown up SO much.. but I am still so mad at myself for putting up with this behavior as I did.Oh how I wish college me could have known what I know now. I have just learned through many of these hard experiences myself that if somebody likes you and wants to be with you - they will. They aren't gonna continually ghost you and make you question your self-worth... they will be with you. No excuses.I get that when initially getting to know somebody, there may be some ambiguity/ you're still trying to figure out if you like one another - and this post doesn't pertain to those situations.I just hope I can maybe help others to "take the hint"If you ask somebody for their number at the bar, you text them, they don't respond - take the hint. I understand trying a second time, but after that, just stop. To the people who just text and text somebody thinking that's gonna make them want to respond or talk to you - it's not.If somebody continually ghosts you and comes back into your life - they obviously don't care about you. Don't make excuses for their behavior. Don't give into their shitty behavior. You deserve better.TL;DR: Actions really do speak louder than words, especially when it comes to dating. Somebody can tell you they like you, tell you they want to be with you, but if their actions don't reflect it - don't keep falling for it. via /r/dating_advice

i got myself tagged by @ilyatath​ and @fmlforeverwrites​ and its taken me so long to do this bc im trash but hye ho here i am!!!

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people. yeah im not even gonna get close to 20 people and i have a feeling that some of you have already done this but oh well @asharadaynes​ @tooextremeforlouisiana​ @aaron-burrsir​ @kreacherwrites​ @kryptxns​ @opalcscent​ @beccabec876​ @mynameismelodypond​ and if any of y’all who ain’t tagged wanna do this then be my guest

the last

1. drink: strawberry and kiwi squash which honestly tastes a surprising amount like nondescript punch

2. phone call: i don’t make phone calls but i guess when my auntie called last week to check one of the boxes she was storing here??????

3. text message: last general message was to an rp partner this morning lmao bc i wanted to hurt her w ship inspo

4. song you listened to: lost boy by ruth b i think????

5. time you cried: months ago idk like it could legit be 2 or 18 months ago i have no idea

6. dated someone twice: u presume me to have dated someone once

7. kissed someone and regretted it: regret can be avoided if u never do the thing in the first place

8. been cheated on: u can’t get cheated on if u never dated in the first place

9. lost someone special: as long as ghosting on friends doesn’t count then this is a hard no

10. been depressed: yeaaaahhhhh the apathy’s still w me even outside of the severe episodes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: surprisingly enough ive never actually reached this point before even beer olympics wasnt as dicey as id expected

3 favourite colours

12. dark reds (like burgundy, maroon or crimson)

13. black like my soul

14. idek black and red or my go to faves maybe dark purples/blues??????

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yeah yeah yeah going to america kinda meant i had to lmao

16. fallen out of love: im gonna say no but this is a massive probably

17. laughed until you cried:��i dont think so????? but idk maybe

18. found out someone was talking about you: nah i dont think so im too boring to be talked about

19. met someone who changed you: im gonna say yeah, im probs gonna say this a lot but going to america was hella good and it was p hard not to be changed by all the stuff over there

20. found out who your friends are: sorta yes sorta no idk let me be a cryptid in peace

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: i. have. never. been. kissed.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them i think idk i should probs clear some of those dicks out

23. do you have any pets: unfortunately no but i want a fucking cat when im older

24. do you want to change your name: not really nah. it’s basic but its mine and i kinda like it but if u use the wrong form of my name for our friendship level then i will feel uncomfy

25. what did you do for your last birthday: packed up all my shit then chilled w my friends and played mario kart

26. what time did you wake up: around 9 i think???? i dont do well w remembering shit

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: im p sure i was sorting out my inventory in da:i, idk i was deffo doing inquisition shit then

28. name something you can’t wait for: the last jedi to come out. gimme fucking force sensitive finn!!! make jedistormpilot canon u cowards!!!!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: an hour or so ago. she’s around and hovering and i just want her to go

31. what are you listening to right now:  the goldbergs is on in the background rn but im not actively paying attention

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i mean it felt like there were three dozen different toms back at school so yeah

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my parent’s constantly hanging around, the dread thought that my sister is coming home in around an week and i will get no peace

34. most visited website: this blue hellsite

35. hair colour: brown

36. long or short hair: it’s kinda long but it really doesn’t look like it lmao

37. do you have a crush on someone: not really?????? idk emotions are weird fucking things

38. what do you like about yourself: i mean i tend to refuse to back down on most things so i guess dedication is a way to make that sound positive??????

39. piercings: honestly i dont think i could ever get a piercing they weird me out for myself they say as they have a tattoo and are planning like half a dozen more

40. blood type: o+ which i guess is a pretty versatile type

41. nickname: no-one actually calls me this but my fave for me would just be d. the single letter by itself. and it absolutely has to be in lowercase people do also often call me dan and sometimes danny but none of them are at the right friend level and it is a Bad

42. relationship status: single as a pringle for 20 solitary years

43. zodiac: taurus. i was also born in the year of the ox so rip anyone who tries to argue w me

44. pronouns: they/them pls n thnx

45. favourite tv show: i watch like a million different shows and they are all trash but rn my fave is probs coach trip and i hate that most u have never seen it and dont know how much fun it is

46. tattoos: i got a geometric heart on my chest and im planning so many more pls message me about it so i can gush about it to someone

47. right or left handed: right like any good god-fearing person who is not influenced by the devil and witchcraft

48. surgery: ive never had surgery myself and i hope i never will (unless it’s for organ donation)

50. sport: i row, not well but to a vaguely competitive standard and i enjoy it even though my hands are llike permanently callused now

51. vacation: my last one was to boston for a week after the academic year ended but going to mexico over easter was gr9 too

52. pair of trainers: if we’re talking actual proper trainers then  ive only got one pair from decathlon but i do have some hella nice vans which i got for p cheap

GENERAL

53. eating: food is good. and not to be stereotypical but chicken is the best. esp rice and peas and chicken. also carbs. there is no such things as too much carbs. the media is lying to you

54. drinking: rum. it might be a bad thing that my first thought was to go to alcohol but idc im a mess

55. I’m about to: idk probs play some more inquisition

56. waiting for: my motivation to return from the war?????? to finish studying so i can move out of my parents’ house and steadily become the family’s queer cryptid

57. want: my parents to shut up and leave me alone. not gonna happen tho

58. get married: yes ofc i do im a fucking romantic mess bicth lemme indulge my fantasies

59. career: philosopher lmao. i get paid to sit around and bullshit all day what could be better

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: ofc hugs are better lmao they’re just like !!!!! hug me all day idc

61. lips or eyes: eyes ofc, eyes are soft and pure. gimme those fucking eyes

62. shorter or taller: honestly i love me a good height difference either way but like ideally she’d be taller but im like 6′0 on a good day and i have to keep reminding myself that’s kinda tol so taller is unlikely rip me

63. older or younger: idgaf tbh but im amongst the youngest most of the places i go so younger would be nice i guess lmao

64. nice arms or nice stomach: umm idk both are nice and give good #aesthetics but i gotta agree w ilyatath and say goodlegs are the best plus good legs basically ensure a good ass

65. hookup or relationship: i told u im a fucking romantic gimme them sweet ass relationships. make me know that im special and important to u

66. troublemaker or hesitant: honestly hesitant but if my friends are causing trouble bet ur ass imma be there tagging along

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: im p sure y’all can guess the answer to this by now lmao

68. drank hard liquor: it’s not a real drink unless there’s liquor in it

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: one time i lost a pair of glasses the same day i got them

70. turned someone down: nah this has never happened to me

71. sex on the first date: ive never kissed someone, what else do u think i haven’t done.......

73. had your heart broken: yeah no this hasn’t happened. not properly anyway. like i said, feelings are weird

74. been arrested: it’s not a crime if u dont get caught

75. cried when someone died: nah ive never been close enough to anyone i knew who died

76. fallen for a friend: sorta yes sorta no im weird feelings are odd and my life is a mess

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: i wanna say yes but kinda no my self confidence also needs to return from war

78. miracles: i wanna say i do but im not sure the universe is a fundamentaly chaotic system so i guess weird shit deffo could happen

79. love at first sight: i think some people can get it but i doubt for me and most people will probs have to work for it

80. santa claus: nah that man’s a scam

81. kiss on the first date: if u wanna kiss on the first date then fucking do it!!!!! dont let life hold u back!! dont let ur dreams be memes!!!!! u take their face anfd fucking kiss it!!!!

82. angels: eeehhhhhhhhh probs not

OTHER:

84. eye colour: brown. kinda darker brown than my hair but still brown

85. favourite movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) directed by Joe Russo and Anthony Russo