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kennahjune · 1 day

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Flustered (But He’d Never Admit It)

Thanks so much to @rogueddie for letting me write this based on their post!!

( @steddiewithachance )

Desperately hope it lives up to standard 🫡

Eddie hadn’t planned on going out, really.

It was a Saturday and he looked forwards to sleeping until noon the next day. Maybe bothering Steve and Robin in Family Video at some point if he decided to grace the people of Hawkins with his presence.

But Nancy of all people had asked him to come. And when Big Wheels asked him to do something, Eddie sure as shit did it.

So he sat in the living room of Steve’s no-longer-really-scarily-empty house. Because Mr and Mrs. Harrington left after the earthquakes and gave the house to Steve. He’s been steadily personalizing it.

Eddie sat between Argyle and Robin on the couch, letting his gaze wander around and land on each photo hanging on the walls.

Nancy and Jonathan sat across from them on the other couch, Nancy’s feet thrown in Jonathan’s lap while he gently rubbed her calfs.

Eddie wasn’t listening too intently to the bickering going on around him, his mind in other places while waiting for Steve.

“HURRY THE FUCK UP, DINGUS!” Robin yelled. Speak of the Devil.

Eddie flinched, as Robin was directly in his fucking ear. He shot her a glare that she returned with a punch to the shoulder.

“HOLD YOUR HORSES, DIMWIT, IM DONE!” was what Steve yelled back from upstairs. Eddie and Argyle snorted at Robin’s offended gasp.

Steve appeared in the living room a few seconds later, struggling to tie his sneakers while hopping on one foot.

“You look like a worm,” Argyle pointed out helpfully.

Steve nearly face planted after he was done, his arms flailing and his hand catching on the back of Jonathan’s head.

“Ouch, dude!!” Jonathan yelled when Steve pulled his hair. Nancy and Robin absolutely cackled at Steve’s unapologetic shrug.

“My bad.”

Jonathan glared and rubbed the back of his head. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Steve fluttered his eyelashes and put a hand on his chest. “You think I’m cute, Jonny? Why, you might as well get down on one knee!”

Robin clapped obnoxiously. “Congratulations on your engagement!”

Nancy gasped, pretending to clutch her pearls. “Jonathan! Another woman? How could you!?”

Jonathan groaned and threw his head back.

“See what you’re doing to this family, Jon!?” Eddie suddenly joined in, surprising a laugh out of everyone; even Jonathan, despite his efforts to remain angry-seeming.

Argyle whistled when they calmed down. “Damn, Stevie. Is that the shirt I got you?”

Robin perked up. “Hey! That’s my button up!”

Steve planted his hands on his hips. “And those are my earrings.”

Robin huffed and rolled her eyes, pretending to pout.

The outfit Steve wore was unlike what Eddie normally saw him in. The same blue jeans as always, though these ones seemed to hug his ass and thighs more (a detail Eddie most certainly saved for later). The button up (that was apparently Robin’s) was white pinstriped, hanging open and unbuttoned to show off the light purple, sleeveless turtle neck (that Argyle got him, apparently).

Eddie kinda wanted to bite him.

Jonathan and Steve were designated drivers. So everyone split between the two cars; Nancy, Jonathan and Argyle in one and Robin, Steve and Eddie in the other.

The bar they went to was a small one but was still packed on such a fine Saturday night. The group was quick to find a corner booth to seat all six of them.

Argyle payed for the first round of drinks, everyone just getting beer. But they were all quick to get to the vodka and other shit.

“You not gonna drink anything else, Stevie?” Eddie asked at one point when he noticed Steve was still nursing his first beer.

“Designated driver, remember?”

Eddie hummed and took his last shot, barely buzzed despite drinking so much already. “I could drive us back if you wanna just drink with everyone else.”

Steve eyed him and didn’t respond for a moment. Eddie was ready to take the offer back, play it off as a joke. It wasn’t even like he said anything flirty or whatever! Steve just made him nervous like that.

“Are you sure?” Steve finally asked, his voice timid even as he raised it to be heard over the music.

Eddie grinned. “‘Course, darlin. Lemme take care of it.”

Steve turned away and downed the rest of his beer quickly. Eddie turned back to Argyle and Nancy’s conversation and failed to see the deep red flush overtaking Steve’s ears.

That was maybe 20 minutes ago.

At this point in time, Steve was definitely passed buzzed and well on his way to drunk.

He was sandwiched between Eddie and Robin, his head leaning on Robin’s shoulder and his hand playing distractingly and absentmindedly with Eddie’s jacket sleeve.

Eddie tried to ignore how sweet Steve looked, his face flushed with the pleasant buzz and his hair kind of getting floppy because he kept playing with it. He looked so cute listening to Jonathan but still so spaced out and almost floaty.

Eddie kind of really maybe wanted to bite him. Maybe make him cry.

Jesus H Christ.

He took a big drink of his water. “I think I’m gonna head out for a smoke, be back in a few.” Eddie carefully removed his sleeve from Steve’s grasp, fighting off the cooing he so desperately wanted to do at the pout the other gave him for it.

Eddie left in no time, letting himself out into an alley next to the bar. His cigarette was short-lived and he went for another 2 after his first.

He refused to let his mind wander, instead focusing on the burn in his throat and the smoke in his lungs. He was sufficiently calmed down after an extra moment, finally going back in after what had to have been just shy of 10 minutes.

Maybe he should’ve stayed outside.

Because Steve was drunk now, to the point that Nancy had cut him off.

It was in that moment, walking back to the booth, that Eddie fully realized he’d never seen Steve drunk.

When Eddie came into sight of the table, Steve immediately jumped up in his seat and reached obnoxiously over the table to wave at him. It was adorably reminiscent of a 5 year old and a little puppy.

Eddie failed to keep the soft grin off his face. Not that he was really trying.

“Hey, Stevie,” Eddie greeted softly when sitting back down next to him.

“Hi, Ed!” Steve exclaimed loudly and excitedly, basically bouncing in place. Eddie really should’ve stayed outside.

“Steve’s a little drunk, don’t hold anything he may say or do against him.” Jonathan joked from across from them. Or, it seemed like a joke. His expression was playful but his tone was more serious than it let on.

“Oh? A little drunk? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so excited.” Eddie snickered.

“Hey!” Steve smacked at Eddie’s shoulder and immediately grabbed his arm afterwards, wrapping himself around it and holding on. Eddie felt himself grow hot under his shirt collar. “I’m always excited to see you, doofus.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. This was news to him. He shot a look to Jonathan who waved him off, turning to talk with Robin instead.

Eddie put his free hand over one of Steve’s. “Oh yeah, darlin? That’s news to me.”

Eddie watched in delight while a steady blush crept down Steve’s neck. He grinned dopily at Eddie, all teeth and gums and scrunched up nose. It was ridiculously endearing.

“Huuuuuussshhhh.” Steve pointed at him, his arm like a wobbly noodle and uncoordinated; he nearly smacked Eddie in the face. “‘Course ‘m always excited to see you. You’re you!”

Eddie stuck his tongue behind his bottom lip to avoid grinning like an idiot. Steve’s eyes followed.

“Alright, dork. I think it’s time to take you home.”

Steve squawked at being called a dork. Insisting Eddie was the biggest dork he’d ever met.

“You’re a Dork with a capital D!” Steve insisted while they weaved through the crowd. Eddie was taking Steve home early with Robin catching a ride with Jonathan.

Eddie snorted, holding back a comment on ‘capital D’ anything. He had a firm grip on Steve’s wrist, as his drunken friend got distracted at every little thing. After he ran off to talk to some stranger “because they had shiny earrings! I needed to know where they were from, Edd!” Eddie wasn’t taking any chances.

He had to physically buckle Steve up for him in the beemer, leaning over him and clicking it into place. Eddie chose to ignore the raging blush on Steve’s face in favor of a simple smirk.

Steve wouldn’t stop talking the entire ride and Eddie loved it.

“I really wanted to play volleyball as a kid but my dad refused because he thought it was too girly— and than I wanted to play hockey! And I would’ve if my mom wasn’t so adamant about it being too ‘aggressive’ and my dad just going along with it because he couldn’t care less either way— oh!! And then I played soccer for a little bit! Did you know Robin plays soccer? I think she used to be on the track team, too—“

Eddie couldn’t stop grinning. (He made a silent promise to ask Argyle about volleyball so he could play with Steve at some point.)

When he took the turn to Loch Nora Steve went quiet. A brief glance told Eddie he was staring out the window. He let him have another moment before speaking.

“You alright, Stevie?”

Steve’s response was delayed, his voice quieter than it has been all night. “Yeah, ‘m good.”

“You sure? You went awfully quiet over there, darling.” Eddie couldn’t stop the faintly concerned glance he shot to the side.

“Yeah.”

Eddie pulled over to the side of a fancy road, one side houses with huge yards and the other the trees spanning out into the woods. Steve jolted at the stop, glancing at Eddie’s faint reflection in the window.

Eddie twisted in his seat, reaching over to tap on Steve’s thigh to get his attention. When Steve looked over at Eddie he looked like a kicked puppy.

“Why’d ya stop?”

“Cause somethin’s wrong and you’re not explaining.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Sorry.”

Eddie smiled softly. “You don’t have to apologize, Stevie. I just need to know what’s wrong so I’m not sending you home while you’re in a bad place.”

Steve’s shoulders hiked up slightly. “Doesn’ matter.”

Eddie huffed, stopping his tapping on Steve’s thigh in favor of grabbing it gently. “Of course it does, sweetheart. If it’s affectin’ you this much it’s gotta matter a lot.”

Steve shrugged, trying to look away. Eddie let him, but kept his hand on his thigh and squeezed twice. Just to let him know he was there.

They were both silent for a moment. The two. Then—

“Don’t wanna.”

Eddie’s brow furrowed. “Don’t wanna what?”

Steve response was slow, quiet. “Go home. Too quiet.”

Eddie’s breath left him in a quiet rush. Even if Steve was slowly making the Harrington estate more ‘him’, the memories it held would most likely prevent it from ever being ‘home’.

“You wanna go back to the trailer with me?” Eddie found himself asking.

Steve’s nod was hesitant, shaky like he wasn’t sure what he was doing. Eddie decided he was going to keep Steve at the trailer for as long as he can get away with this weekend.

“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s get goin then, yeah?” He patted Steve’s thigh twice and turned back to resume driving.

Steve remained quiet the rest of the drive, but he hummed along to the radio so Eddie deemed him a little better.

He parked on the side of the road, leaving the space next to the van open for Wayne’s truck when he got home in the morning.

Eddie had to help Steve up the porch stairs, letting him lean on his shoulder while fumbling with his keys. Steve was still humming to the last song that played on the radio.

Eddie gave Steve a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and silently praised himself for the flush settling down Steve’s neck. But then there was a flush settling down Eddie’s neck because Steve looked really good in his clothes.

They shared the bed like they usually did when they spent the night at each others places. Eddie took the spot by the wall and Steve climbed in to face the door. Eddie wrapped himself around Steve’s back with a hand on his waist and another under his head.

Did this take over a month? Nope. (Ssshhhhhhh)

I’m my defense: my biggest hyper fixation atm is ATLA 🤷

Am I happy with this? No, not really.

Am I posting it anyway? Sure am🧍.

Have fun with it ✌️

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #argyle #these six as a friendgroup #steddie thoughts #steddie #drunk stevie #steve harrington gets flustered easily #but only when he’s drunk

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mooshkat · 22 hours

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starting thinking abt buck with nipple piercings and how tommy might feel abt them and uhh wrote a lil tiny smth.

“What happened here?” Tommy asks one night, as his thumb rubs circles over Buck's left nipple. He's lying between Buck's legs as they lay in bed together, trailing his fingers over the scars and tattoos spread across his body.

How his boyfriend still has the energy to do anything but lie there with him after the fucking they did, Buck doesn't know. He swears his brain melted and leaked out of his ears after Tommy got determined to give him a second orgasm before he was finished coming down from the first.

“What?” he tries to ask, lifting his head up to see what the man is talking about. Tommy's gaze is fixated on Buck's nipples, and he looks ready to lean in and bite them. It makes Buck shiver as he remembers the last time Tommy got fixated on them, pinching and rolling them between his fingers until Buck's cock was practically weeping. He feels a phantom ache from that night hit him and swallows back a whimper.

After shaking away that train of thought, it takes him a few seconds to piece together what Tommy is seeing, looking at them that closely for the first time.

“Oh, the scars? I used to have my nipples pierced back in college. It was a dare from some of the sorority girls I was hanging around,” Buck tells him, and he has to bite back a smirk at the way Tommy's breath hitches and his eyes darken. “I actually kept them for a while too, but I had to take them out for SEAL training and I just never got them redone. Which worked out, I guess, since we can't have them as firefighters either.”

Tommy hasn't looked away from them yet. “Do you…” he has to clear his throat before talking again, “do you have pictures of when you had them?” There's pink high on his cheeks from how flustered the thought makes him.

Buck laughs and can't help but to reach out and touch Tommy, running his fingers through his hair. “Maybe? I'd have to dig through my phone, and maybe even ask Maddie. Why? Does the idea of me with piercings turn you on?”

A different thought hits him and he hums, curling his fingers into a fist, still gripping Tommy's hair. It makes the older man moan and lean into the feeling. “Or is it the idea of younger, fratboy me with piercings that makes you all hot and bothered?”

The blush on Tommy's face gets even redder. “Evan,” he says, voice almost strangled.

Buck eases up on his grip and lets it go. For now. “Alright, alright. I won't tease anymore.”

Three days later, Tommy gets a text from Buck while he's at work, with a photo attached.

Finally found one! Here you go babe (;

The picture is of Buck, years younger and far more lean than the beefy man he is today, shirtless with a backwards baseball cap on his head. Bright, silver barbells pierce through both of his nipples.

Tommy nearly drops his phone as soon as he sees it, and has to go take care of himself in the bathroom before he can think clearly enough to text him back.

Just you wait until I get home, Evan.

#911 fic #bucktommy #kinkley #evan buckley #tommy kinard #katie.txt #moosh worbs #this is only 500ish words and i don't have any more so i didn't want to bother posting it to ao3

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homestylehughes · 9 hours

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boyfriend quinn headcanons

pairing(s): quinn hughes x fem!reader

summary: headcanons of bf!quinn!

wc:703

warnings: fluff, cute soft quinn, smut 18+!

authors note: hi guys!! i randomly had this idea this morning so i thought id write about quinn and how i think he'd be as a boyfriend! hes been taking up too much of my mind recently LOL. i hope you guys enjoy!! more fics are coming up later this week! like and reblog if you like <3. as always much love <3

happy reading <3

Sfw/fluff:

Bf!quinn: quinn would be the type of boyfriend to wake you up with kisses all over your body, tracing his hands all over your back. Quinn would love looking at you while you're sleeping, not in a creepy way, in a loving way, that he couldn't believe that you're his.

Bf!quinn: he would give you one on one skating lesions, holding your hand whenever you feel like you're going to fall. He'd insist that he put on your skates, tying them extra tight and patting your leg to make sure you're okay. Quinn would laugh at you when you get excited about skating on your own finally, giving you a forehead kiss, saying he's proud of you.

Bf!quinn: After a long day at work, when he knows you've had a bad day, he'll cook you your favorite meal. Even drawing you a bath, that you then insisted that he had to get in with you. He would ask you about your day, you would tell him as you lean comfortably into his touch as he runs his hands all over your body to help you relax.

Bf!quinn: quinn lovesssss when you wear his jersey to a game, he loves seeing you in the stands in his jersey, cheering for him and the rest of the team. He loves the support that you always give him. Waiting for him by the locker room, giving him the sweetest hug and kiss. Always letting him know that you're proud of him, win or lose.

Bf!quinn: quinn loves how you are around his family, how you think of them as your family. How you laugh and joke with his brothers, talk hockey with his dad, how you embarrass him and smile with his mom. He loves the relationship that you have with them. His family jokes that if you guys ever broke up, his family would be more hurt than you or quinn.

Bf!quinn: quinn would definitely get baby fever when seeing you around children. Imagining if they were your kids, wanting nothing more than to pull you home, and make his dreams come true.

Bf!quinn: quinn loves to be babied, he loves when you let him be the little spoon. His favorite way of being babied is when he comes home after a long road trip is throwing himself into your arms, dragging you to the bedroom, quickly getting changed and laying down on top of you. His face finding its way to your neck, nuzzling himself in your body breathing in your scent. He'd quickly fall asleep as you play with his hair, and rub your hands up and down his back.

nsfw 18+ below:

Bf!quinn: quinn is definitely a munch. He could spend hours in between your legs, even when you try to push him away he always comes back. He could never get enough of your cunt.

Bf!quinn: He loves marking you up, showing everyone that you're his. He can't help but feel a sense of pride when he looks over the marks. Smirking to himself, knowing you'll yell at him when you see how dark they are the following day.

Bf!quinn: quinn is obsessed with your boobs, he considers himself a lover of both ass and boobs equally but his downfall is your boobs. Any chance he has to kiss, bite, lick them he takes advantage of it. You can't even count on your fingers how many times you guys have been late to dinners because your boobs are “calling his name.”

Bf!quinn: quinn loves when you take control during sex, it's a side of you that he doesn't get to see a lot but he loves it when he does. The view of you on top of him riding him, never fails to take his breath away.

Bf!quinn: Your moans? Oh gosh your moans. They make his knees weak, He loves hearing how responsive you are. His favorite is when you moan lowly in his ear, feeling your warm breath fan his face. When you drop your head back and your mouth is hanging open as your body shakes in pleasure.

Bf!quinn: loves everything about you.

#nhl fanfiction #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fic #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes smut #quinn hughes #vancover canucks

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thebestofoneshots · 1 day

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Hi love just wondering when the priest Remus fic will be out? I LOVE LOVE your writing and I am so excited for this one

I truly hope It's this Friday! Especially with the GC chapter we're going to have, I feel like you guys deserve a little compensation. If I can't manage though, it will surely be next week.

Now, and to build more excitement, a little teaser:

NO SWEETER INNOCENCE THAN OUR GENTLE SIN | TEASER

Pairing: Priest!Remus x reader Prompt: You did not want to go to church that day, but your spirits are uplifted when you meet Father Remus, and your mind starts creating a mischievous scheme, to both retaliate over those years of being forced to go and take something from them. Alternatively, R is really mad at the church and decides to steal one of their priests for it (but also kind of falls for him). Warnings: The complete story will contain smut. Innocence! Kink, allusion to fingering and self-pleasure. Reader is seducing a catholic priest and has a bit of a corruption!kink. Smut under the cut.

After the mass was over, you waited a few minutes before leaving the church “accidentally” bumping into him again. “Remus,” you said with a smile. “We seem to continue bumping into each other,” you added as you leaned closer to him and pressed your cheek to his, making a low smacking sound, and then repeating on the other side. He looked bewildered at the contact. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable? I got this habit while I was in France and I still haven’t shaken it off completely.”

“Oh… No, no,” hesitant, bashful, you loved every bit of it. “Not at all, it’s fine. You can greet me however you like.”

“Is that privilege reserved to me, or does every other parishioner have it?” He seemed taken aback by your words. “I’m joking, Remus,” you added and placed your hand on his arm, before pulling it back tentatively. “Your mass was wonderful.”

“Thank you, I’m lucky to work at Saint Gryffin.”

“The way I see it, Saint Griffin is lucky to have you. I mean lots of women come here to see beautiful priest Remus.”

“You think?” he asked. Remus didn’t exactly consider himself handsome, he thought his scars would scare people away rather than attract them. But he sometimes failed to see past them and didn’t pay attention to his beautiful eyes, to his charming smile, to his long lashes, or to his well-toned frame. It was as if he had been craved by Michael Angelo himself, from your perspective.

“For sure,” you replied. “Take a closer look at the way they look at you on Sunday and you’ll see.” He blushed, a deeper shade of red than your Nan had pulled out of him, you resisted the urge to bite your lip and smiled instead. “Today was lovely, I’ll see you around,” you said before waving goodbye and leaving exiting the church.

You went again a week later, Remus would sometimes lose his focus on the bible and look at you instead. That day you had chosen a skirt. Nothing too short or indecent, but certainly short enough to allow your legs to be seen and admired. An older man hadn’t stopped staring at you throughout the mass, and you would have perhaps told him off if it hadn’t been for the fact that Remus had been in a similar position.

Remus’ distraction, his hesitance and his constant turning to you were enough to drive your attention away from the man and onto him. You would smile, and you would nod, and you would pretend to be a supportive little lamb. Innocent, and meek and kind. Just what he expected from you. And it was that Wednesday, the third time that you’d met him, that you realised you had him right where you wanted him to be.

He for sure had a thing for you, be it curiosity, admiration, or a small crush. You had gotten his atention, and you had gotten into his mind. Now all you needed was to have him.

(...)

The next Wednesday you had been late, you had allowed your hair to be slightly dishevelled and your cheeks were warm, despite the autumn getting colder. You had bitten your lips and you looked like you had just gotten away from a dire situation. You’d done it on purpose. When his gaze fell on you he almost stopped talking completely. He staggered to complete his words and you nodded for him to go on. When he was done, he rushed out, and you stayed in your seat. Eyes closed and hands clasping each other, pretending to pray.

That’s when you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder, he whispered your name. “Are you okay, Little Lamb?”

It took a real effort not to laugh at his nickname. Not because you thought it was stupid, but because you were so far from a lamb that you might as well have been the wolf that ate it. You turned to him, fake distress clouding your features, “I’ve done something terrible, Remus.”

He was kind, almost impossibly so, it almost made you want to stop your plan and leave him the pure man he was.

almost.

“I’m sure there’s nothing you could do, that was as bad as you’ve described.”

“I’d like to confess,” you said. “Would you take my confession?”

Remus seemed hesitant, biting his lip. He knew he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t hear your confession, not when he wanted to maintain a personal relationship with you, not when he’d develop a crush. But it was in your preoccupied gaze, in the small frown that etched your features, in the way your lips curved down and in the bobbing of your throat as you swallowed. How ever could he deny you?

Oh, those thoughts would be the ones that would drag him into sin, nay, not drag, but rather, waft him into it. If Remus hadn’t been so enamoured by you, perhaps it would have proved a harder task to accomplish for you.

“Okay,” he said simply. And helped you stand. Guiding you towards the empty confessionary and sitting in his spot as you opened the door to the other one. It was a narrow place, enough for you to sit. There was a screen dividing the two of you, you couldn’t see him, but you suspected he could see you. And there was a small, square hole in between, enough to fit perhaps a hand. You assumed it was there in case you’d like to give something to the priest, as a thank you.

Remus cleared his throat, and in the most professional way he could muster he said, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. My child, what brings you to the sacrament of confession today?”

His voice had been different, stronger as if he was trying not to be himself. You loved it. “Father, I come seeking forgiveness for my sins. I have strayed from the path of righteousness and I seek reconciliation,” you let your voice bend and crack near the end.

“I am here to listen, my child. Let us begin with a moment of reflection. Take a moment to examine your conscience and bring to mind the sins you wish to confess.”

You held back the smirk that threatened to appear when he said that, just in case he was actually able to see you. “I have fallen in love with a man I cannot have.”

“Oh, darling,” he said, that was Remus, not Father Remus. You had cracked through his façade and you hadn’t even started. “That is not a sin. It’s happened to the best of us.”

“But it is a sin the way I think of him, Father,” you responded. You heard a sharp intake of breath, but he didn’t speak further. “I have dreamt of him, of his lips, of his eyes with long lashes, the way his hair frames his face, of his beautiful and strong hands–“ Remus tried not to be jealous of the man you described, but everything about him seemed perfect, and unlike himself, he probably could have you. Your beautiful lips, and eyes, focused solely on him. He hated the guy already. “–sliding between my legs, and touching me.”

“Do not speak further,” there was an edge of alarm in his voice. A bit of a broken end to it.

“Oh but Father I must,” you said. “If I don’t I’m afraid I’ll act upon my feelings in the same way I did today while thinking of him.”

“You…” he hesitated. “You touched yourself… Is that why you’re here?”

“Yes,” you replied with a frown, almost a wince, all of it an act, of course.

“Pray Our Father 10 times and–“

“No! Allow me to relate my story, Father,” he tried to stop you. “I must, I must, or then I might go to him and offer myself in a terrible, ungodly manner and then I won’t ever be deserving of the church ever again.”

Frankly, you didn’t even know how you’d gotten so inspired, but Remus relented, nodding and when he realised you hadn’t heard, he bit his cheek and said. “Go on then.”

You sighed, that was a real sigh, you weren’t sure you’d get this far. “I had a dream of him father. He was handsome as ever, and he looked at me, with such kind eyes, with such loving eyes, that when he leaned in to kiss me, I didn’t stop him.”

Remus was already praying for himself. He did not want to imagine you in your bed, your hair sprawled over the pillow and your mind away in a dream, kissing another man.

(…)

Remus’ boner was straining against his pants in a way that was almost painful. He wanted to let go, he wanted to set him free and chase his own pleasure at your words. At how he pictured you in your bed, sweaty and sighing as you touched yourself. You were so beautiful, he found innocence even in the way you sinned.

“And then there was bliss, I thought I was dead and had gone to heaven, but I came back, vision cloudy and disoriented. My bedsheets were sticky with my juices and I had to change them. I’ve been in a permanent state of shame ever since then.”

“Let us pray for your forgiveness,” Remus said. And my own, he thought. Now not only your sheets had been stained, but so had his pants, just from hearing you. You would have relished on the knowledge if you’d had it.

“Thank you, Father,” you said as you stood.

“Pray tell me child, whoever is this man that has you in such an altered state of mind?”

Got him! you thought as you turned your gaze to the confessionary. And almost in a whisper, you murmured. “Well, it’s you, Remus.”

Read More Marauders Fiction Here

No sweeter innocence than our gentle sin will be out soon!

Tag list open (Just tell me if you want to be added)

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thurio-edau · 1 day

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SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

sorry for the delay!

alright, gotta say... this one's a bit shorter. but the next will come like a train wreck i promise😇

Part 3: Ben Clark

oh the sweet old Ben... a kind and loving soul muted away. I'm thinking of inspecting his trauma and his general actions, and give him a diagnosis which I'm sure is canon even. I'm sure everyone who knows the disorder itself is aware that Ben is, in fact, suffering from PTSD.

let's start. first, what is PTSD?

PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a mental condition where someone feels what they have previously went through in a past traumatic experience. PTSD is frequently found with flashbacks to the moment, overwhelming feelings and sudden responses. there are two types of this disorder, PTSD and C-PTSD. but we'll look in the first one for now.

Ben has always been a really kind character. ever since the beginning. more of a 'gentle giant' type of character, though we never see him talk. he's soft, he loves to help his friends and never does anything vulgar around them, including the phantom dimension. he feels nice when he gets praised even if he doesn't show it too.

the first time we see him getting flashbacks and his anger issues being visible is when we first see Barron's behaviour towards Logan. anything that includes actual bullying gives him flashbacks and his response is his anger issues unleashing.

in his backstory, Ben is shown that he's more of a shy type of person, but he loves singing. because his tall and intimidating appereance doesn't match his softness, a group of dumbasses try to 'fix' him which he rejects. back when Shane strangled him, is what he gets flashbacks to. it was something that changed his entire life, he had a passion for singing but he never did with his damaged voice. god knows how many times he was hospitalized when he was going around to fights because of his outburst of rage.

yep, rage. I'd classify his anger issues as the 'rage' type with PTSD. PTSD rage makes more sense to me than just normal anger problems. I've seen and lived with many people with anger issues, but none of them are similar to rage. anger problems in general are usually verbal, if you don't make them mad to a point they're all bark and no bite. but of course after a point the violence behind the generic anger issues can unleash (see Tyler)

okay, back to Ben and rage. rage is an extreme condition of anger, the person gets violent and their thoughts are clouded with the rage which makes them not think before doing anything drastic. but he's not very closed off about it either, actually. the time where he accepted Aiden to do the storytelling was before the first half of season one, the gang wasn't even that close.

this means that he saw them as actual friends so early on. probably before everyone. Ashlyn took her sweet time accepting the friendship, I'm kind of sure that Aiden didn't at first (see Tyler, yet again), Tyler also definitely didn't (as said by Taylor in season two premiere) and I think Logan has attachment/trust issues but that's for later. the only other possible person that might accept the group fastly is Taylor but with Tyler's influence so close to her, there is also a chance she didn't at first.

Ben was fine with his friends knowing his past. he put his earphones on because he didn't want to hear about it, or else he knew he'd get flashbacks yet again. I'm thinking that it could be diagnosed too. Aiden knows that it's not just a memory, it's flashbacks to Ben and he covers for him whenever he sees something that might trigger Ben. after learning the situation, Taylor also does the same. they learn the severity of his problems and are all fine with helping him.

another thing I'm sure of is that he's extremely attached to his friends. we know that everyone is close-knit, but Ben specifically. he might not speak but that doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy their time. he does, fully. which is I think why he/his room was... like that in the facility, without any spoilers.

to say, the gang is more than just friends to him; they're his found family, where he feels like he belongs. they don't judge him for his silence there. they understand his past. they're not scared of him just because of the way he was built and they're not going to be either.

but what about his family?

families are one of the most important part of a character and their backstory. the family is what decides how they will live, act and even feel sometimes. then what about Ben's? where were they during his backstory?

yeah. Ben's rage causes something terrible to happen.

but it ends better for everyone. Ben gets the therapy he needed, starts to live with Aiden, makes the gang his friends and it actually goes well.

his parents?

we meet Naomi and William during Lily's birthday.

yes, Mike, Lily is goshdarn adorable.

first, I think Naomi and William aren't to blame. I think they did the best they could; they tried to help Ben, tried to help him get therapy, sent him to Aiden's place to help himself. then why didn't Ben's story stop?

Ben couldn't control his rage until their house got destroyed and he realized just how far it got. he sneaked out of the house, a lot of people seem to not see that detail. and they seem to be very caring, too.

they're amazing as a whole family, to be honest. even the little Lily doesn't care about her birthday getting wrecked, because she wants to help Ben and his friends. she indirectly helped Tyler extremely well, since the sedative idea came from her in the first place.

Naomi was the first person who brought up the whole 'we-are-seeing-phantoms' discussion and William didn't hesitate to talk about it. Naomi was also the first person to notice the phantoms when the worlds collided for a mere second.

and Ben himself has shown completely zero negative behaviour towards them. and Lily gets treated like a princess -even if she accidentally neutered Ben-

side note here, that Lily also really loves the family too. the way she cuddled Aiden when he died and came back was so cute to be honest.

so I don't think the family is anywhere to blame either. it was Ben who was strangled, Ben who fought, and Ben who saw therapy. the reason why I'm talking about this is because a lot of people suddenly blame a character's family when there's a problem with them.

guys. people with caring, loving families can be traumatized too. just because someone has a happy family doesn't mean they're suddenly over any trauma they live. doesn't mean everything is suddenly okay. it means that they have an accepting place to go to, a safe space. and Ben's family? I think they're just like that. they desperately try to help. help their son, their nephew and their friends. hell, Lily trying to help also speaks volumes in my opinion. their father -dilf no.2 after Mike right here- William was the one who offered the idea to get the kids saved from the centipede phantom. and to be honest? it was pretty smart.

she also tried to prevent Emma from going mad because come on, Emma would absolutely wreck anyone if they dared blame Ashlyn for this. (still I think Jessica has to apologize for being to insensitive smh)

Naomi really seems like a sweetheart to me, I already said what to be said about William in a single very important side sentence and if there was any kind of in-family neglect Lily would also be affected. but she isn't so I think we're good? I adore the whole Ben family tho.

to wrap it all up.

Ben is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which makes him see flashbacks and turn into a rage mode each time he is triggered due to his backstory, being bullied because he's too soft. his rage causes a gang to destroy his home (HELLO?? ARE THERE NO FUNCTIONING COPS IN THIS STOR-- oh wait it's america yea there ain't nvm) and his parents try their best. move, get Ben to therapy and let Daniel's side help him by doing stuff he loves. Ben is still trying to recover, but his flashbacks are strong due to impacting his entire life from his voice and make it difficult.

(vocal chords repair by time actually, but he hasn't been speaking for like 4 years so maybe it'd need some voice exercises until it returns to normal?? if it's just vocal chords he'd be alright. imagine if he could talk and sing normally all this time but he just didn't know. it's something between "aww poor guy :((" and "lmao"

but I don't know about voice box, can someone enlighten me on vocal chord damage vs. voice box damage? thamks)

and Lily. Lily is a cinnamon roll. no other opinions allowed.

-i wanted to make a part for Ben and Taylor but i decided wasn't fit here :P-

#sbgblr #sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #schoolbus graveyard #sbg #sbg ben #ben clark

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eddiexmunsonlover · 21 hours

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One Step Away From You (Chapter 4)

ExBestFriend!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Fem!Reader

Series Masterlist

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Chapter Summary: Your off-handed comment to Jason catches up to you. Before things get out of hand, someone swoops in to your defense. A heart-to-heart ensues. WC: 6.4k Warnings: MDNI. Explicit language. Fatphobia/bullying from Jason. Jason almost hits you. Brief references to toxic family relationships and abuse.

Saturday, September 21st, 1985

The ever so alluring smell of bacon and pancakes invades your senses, stirring you from your slumber. You rub your eyes as you look at the clock on the bedside table. 10:35 am. You slept in, though you can’t say you’re surprised. After the day you had, you must’ve really needed it. You roll out of Steve’s spare bed, making sure to re-make it before you venture down the stairs.

The smell intensifies with each step down the stairs and into the kitchen, spotting the stack of pancakes and bacon waiting to be picked. Steve is pouring a cup of coffee, eyeing you as you grab a plate and start loading it up.

“Morning, sleepy head”

“Morning, haircut” you respond, taking a quick bite of bacon. Groaning softly in pleasure, “You know, Steve. If you don’t figure out what you wanna do for a career, I think you’d make a great little housewife.” You smirk to yourself as you pour syrup onto your plate. Steve scoffs out a laugh.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that. Know any takers?” You laugh with him before you catch a glimpse of Robin sitting on the couch, eating her own plate.

“Oh, hell yes.” you say excitedly when you see and hear Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? playing on the TV. You quickly scurry over to join Robin on the couch with your own plate. Steve joins soon after, all leisurely eating your brunch and watching Saturday morning cartoons. After you’ve all finished your plates and are relaxing before eventually having to get ready for your work shifts, Steve speaks up.

“So, we gonna talk about what happened yesterday?”

You look between him and Robin, confused. You quirk an eyebrow up at him.

“Uh, what happened yesterday? What do you mean?”

“I mean, something happened yesterday, didn’t it? You seemed a bit…off.”

Goddamnit. If Dustin hadn't learned it from you, you're now sure he learned his ability to read people so well from Mr. Steven Harrington too.

“Did you talk to Eddie?” Robin asks softly.

You sigh, crossing your arms over your stomach.

“I mean, you don’t have to tell us anything. But if you want to, you know we’re here. I’m also just really nosey.” Steve adds, causing a smirk to tug at your lips before you take a deep breath.

“Yeah. I talked to him. Ran into him after lunch, literally. And uh, let’s just say it did not go well. He kinda flipped out on me. But, I kinda deserved it. Aaand, I kinda slapped him. But, he kinda deserved it.” You let yourself laugh a little, taking in their surprised faces.

“So yeah, based on that I don’t think we’ll be friends again anytime soon. At least I can say I tried.” You finish with a shrug.

Robin reaches out and rubs your arm soothingly as Steve looks at you with sympathy and in thought.

“I’m sorry, Y/N” he sighs, “Maybe just give things some time to cool down, I’m sure he’ll come back around.” He gives you a soft, crooked smile.

“Yeah, maybe. And if not, I’m sure I’ll be okay.” you say, more to yourself than to them.

You pull into your driveway an hour later. You sit there, finishing your cigarette as your eyes linger on the now familiar van across the street through your rear-view mirror. You look longer than you’d like, finally tearing your eyes away to throw out your cig. Cutting off the sounds of Black Sabbath as you turn off the ignition.

You slowly shuffle your way to the mailbox at the end of your driveway. Flipping through the spam and advertisements when you hear a familiar sound, a skateboard. Your eyes follow the sound, a figure shaded by the sun. You know who it is. If it wasn’t for the skateboard, it’s the flaming aura around her head under the sunlight. A big smile stretches across your face, leaning against your mailbox as she rides closer into view. When she’s close enough to see your face, her eyes widen and she nearly stumbles off her skateboard, eliciting a giggle from you. She stares at you for a second as she comes to a stop, sliding her headphones down to her neck.

“Hey, you.” you say cheerfully.

In a second, she’s running to you, wrapping you in a tight embrace. You feel the shakiness as she inhales a deep breath.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, the ever elusive Red.” You smile as you return the hug, briefly rubbing her back before she pulls back to look at you.

“W-How?” She looks toward your trailer, “You moved back?!”

“Yep, just this past week. I tried keeping an eye out for you at school, then Dustin told me you moved here. Knew I’d catch you eventually.”

Her smile falters ever so slightly at the mention of Dustin.

“Oh, yeah. I mean, it’s a piece of shit but it’s a roof over our heads I guess.” You nod in agreement, pondering how to approach her. If she’s been avoiding the party, you worry one wrong move will send her running away from you too. You decide to go the easy route, knowing you might not get a truthful answer right away.

“You and mom doing okay?”

“Yeah. She’s either working or drinking most of the time, so” she shrugs nonchalantly, a move you see right through. “But I can take care of myself just fine anyway”.

“Well, if you ever get bored entertaining yourself, just come and give a knock, okay? I gotta get going for work here soon, but maybe we can go out to the drive-in or something soon?”

A small smile tugs at her lips as she nods lightly.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Oh, and you know. If you ever need a ride, I’m already giving the knuckleheads rides home after school and since we’re neighbors, I can just stick them all in the bed and give you passenger seat privileges.” You ramble before noticing the way she begins to awkwardly sway at the suggestion. “Or ya know, I can just kick them to the curb and save myself some gas with just you.” You quickly offer. She forces a small laugh before shaking her head.

“No, that’s okay. It gives me more time to skate anyway.”

Great, I’ve already messed this up. Just add it to the list…

“Alright, well the offer’s on the table anytime. For anything.” You insist, giving her an out to the conversation as you begin to move back toward your driveway. She only nods in response, before putting her skateboard in place to ride again.

“See you later, Red.” You wave before heading into your trailer to get ready for work.

During the slower phases of the work day, your mind drifts to worries of Max. How she’s really doing, how you should approach her, how to get her to open up to you. It’s a welcomed distraction considering the other places, or people, your mind would be wandering to otherwise. You and Max had gotten fairly close over the summer, you gave her opportunities with and outside of the party to get away from home, from her asshole step-brother. Being the only other girl and older, she often confided in you. Whether it was about her brother, her relationship with Lucas, or the struggles of girlhood, you were there for her.

Since Billy’s sacrifice to save her from the mall fire and his resulting death, she’s closed off. Isolating from everyone close to her. That happened to be something you’re familiar with. Something that helps you to understand her, something you can use. You know you need to take it slow though. Based on her initial reaction to seeing you, you know she's missed you, and know that connection is still there. There’s just some walls you need to chisel down first.

Take it slow.

That connection is still there.

Just some walls you need to chisel down first…

Those dark curls… chocolate button eyes… cutest fucking dimples you’ve ever seen in your life.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, frustrated with your brain and your heart. Both deeply longing for him… before the shock of pain with the memory of his words hits you.

Just let it go. Move on. He’s not your Eddie anymore.

It was bothering Eddie more than he’d ever admit, even to himself. You. Thoughts of you swimming around his head with every emotion he could think of, was bothering him.

After your argument, he felt a bit of relief. To finally say the words he’d been carrying with him these last few years to you. To finally release the anger and pain out onto you. It felt like a weight off his shoulders in the moment. What he hadn’t been expecting was for you to match it, taking the pain and anger you felt in response, right back out and onto him.

This whole past week you’ve been back has thrown him off. More distracted than usual. More reactive. More irritable. The other boys in Hellfire noticed, taking extra effort to not poke the bull.

Your argument and slap left him even more distracted and off-balance. You’d thrown him off his game for Hellfire for christ’s sake. Forgetting details for the campaign that he’d otherwise would’ve had memorized, left him referencing his notes. He didn’t exude his usual dungeon master playfulness, animated voice and facial expressions coming out muted. Everyone noticed. Eddie’s own off-balanced performance reflected in his players. Nothing had ever distracted him so much to the point of interfering with Hellfire campaigns. The way Henderson eyed him suspiciously throughout the night almost set him off completely, again. He’d ended the campaign a little early, offering a brief apology and a quick lie to write off his abnormal performance on. He’d spent the rest of the night getting as drunk and high as he could in his bedroom until he passed out.

Saturday isn’t going much differently for him. Sitting in his bed with a joint in his mouth as his fingers mindlessly strum his guitar, thinking of you. The anger he felt yesterday is now replaced with guilt. A guilt that sits and churns in his stomach, teetering on the edge of nausea. Maybe that was just the hangover, or maybe it’s from the way he can’t get the image of your tear-streaked face out of his head. Tears caused by him.

You deserved to hear how much you hurt him. Be faced with the consequences of your actions. You deserved that. But as he remembers the look in your eyes yesterday, the way you flinched, the way he caused a side of you you rarely show to come out… he knows you didn’t deserve that. He scolds himself for letting his emotions get the best of him, letting them get out of his control. You hurt him, that didn’t make it right for him to hurt you back. It didn’t even make him feel good. Maybe very briefly in the moment, just to release what he’d been holding in for so long, but it left as quickly as it came.

He sighs as he moves the guitar off his lap, putting out his joint in the ashtray before rubbing his hands over his face, staring up at the ceiling.

He can’t hold on to this anger anymore, he knows it’s not healthy and is only hurting him more. But he can’t blame himself too much for wanting to, it’s one of the ways he’s protected himself in the past. Protected him from getting hurt. You knew that about him. The way he held onto anger at his dad, people in Hawkins, not wanting to waver and give either the chance to hurt him more. You knew almost everything about him, more about him than he’d ever willingly shared with anyone. That’s why what you did hurt him so deeply, and why he wanted to hurt you just as much. And feels like utter shit for it.

Hey, you!

His eyes dart to his window as his brain immediately recognizes your voice. He peeks out to see you interacting with a younger girl he’d seen skateboarding around in the neighborhood and at school. His heart begins to ache watching you, watching you embrace the girl, watching the way you smile at her and ramble.

God, does he miss it. Misses the way you’d ramble and rant about something you’re passionate about, the way you’d cackle and smile when he’d do the stupidest thing he could think of just so he could see it. Misses the way your warm, plump body feels against him when you’d hug or lean your head on his shoulder.

He sighs watching you wave goodbye to the girl and walk inside your trailer.

Maybe he could give you another chance. Now that he’s not so overcome with anger, maybe he’d be able to hear you out. Not overpower you so much with his anger that you can actually have a real chance to explain yourself.

Maybe.

Tuesday, September 24th, 1985

Some things have changed since your fight with Eddie on Friday. Flipped, really. Your eyes no longer sought him out. You do your best to avoid looking at him whether it was in the halls or in your shared classes. Knowing the sight of him would only bring back that sting in your chest.

Eddie on the other hand, couldn’t tear his eyes away from you whenever you’re in his sight. Watching you in regret, longing, confusion, hurt, all twisted into one. Eddie’s confident in himself most of the time, except for in a few areas. This situation with you and how to handle it moving forward is one of the latter. It’s a big fucking mess he isn’t sure how to fix. He knows with the way things went on Friday after you made the first move to talk to him, that it had to be him this time to try to make things right.

You take your time walking down the quiet halls before the end of the lunch period, hearing the distant, muffled chatter from the lunchroom. You open your locker, putting away your books from your morning classes, switching them out with your afternoon ones. Just as you finish putting the last book in your bag, your locker slams shut in front of you, causing your head to whip toward the culprit you didn’t notice come up next to you till now.

“You’ve got a smart mouth on you, don’t you piggy?” Jason seethes out, hand pressed against your now closed locker door. Your smirk at him as you lean against it.

“So I’ve been told.”

“Yeah, well I don’t know who the hell you think you are or who you think you're talking to bu-”

“You know, I remember you from years ago. The last time I lived here.” You interrupt before looking him up and down, “Jason Carver. Back then you were just a scrawny guy, trailing behind the older jocks, carrying that ever so fragile ego in tow with theirs.” You look back up to meet his eyes, brows furrowed above them. “I see you’ve grown a few inches, even bulked up a bit. Looks like that’s about all that’s changed, though.” You watch as he processes your words, your insult.

“You fat fucking bitch” He says through gritted teeth, face turning red.

“Oh come on, Carver. Don’t you have anything fresher than that?” you say flatly, cocking an eyebrow at him. You watch as his body tenses up.

“Looks like I need to teach you and that smart mouth a lesson” He says, taking a step closer to you. You don’t move an inch, refusing to give him the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you.

“Oh no. What are you gonna do?!” You say sarcastically. “You don’t scare me, Carver.”

You watch as a vein protrudes from his forehead, face turning a deeper red.

It all happens so quickly. One of his arms pulls back, raising in the air in the motion to slap you, but it doesn’t come. Curly dark hair appears behind him, before Jason’s thrown flat on his ass in front of you.

Eddie had been outside smoking before lunch ended. On his way back into the school, he spots you and Jason. He slows his steps, listening in on the quickly escalating conversation. You’re teetering on the edge and you don’t care. As fragile as Jason’s ego is, so is his masculinity. Eddie wasn’t sure if Jason's above hitting a girl, but he knows that’s where this could go. He creeps closer, eyeing the way Jason’s hand begins to twitch. Waiting for the string to snap, and it does. When he spots Jason’s hand raise, Eddie swoops in. With a foot behind Jason’s, Eddie wraps his arm around Jason’s front, pulling him till he’s falling back on the floor.

Eddie was no stranger to fights, the jocks of Hawkins having taken their frustrations out of him plenty of times. He didn’t like putting himself in the line of fire, but he has and would do it in a heartbeat for the people he cares about. Despite how he’s acted, you’re one of those people.

Your eyes widen, at the fact Jason was about to hit you in the middle of the school, and at seeing Eddie before you, swooping in out of nowhere to defend you. Your eyes lock with his and everything slows down, so many emotions and words unsaid flowing between you with just a look. For a moment your mind flashes back to 5th grade Eddie, reaching his hand out to help you off the ground, worry and sympathy filling his eyes. History repeating itself. You take a deep breath as the memory hits you, staring into Eddie’s brown eyes. In that moment, it’s only you two. No one else. No white brick halls. Just you and Eddie, conveying so much to each other through just your eyes.

Jason’s groans pull you from your trance, your eyes leaving Eddie’s to look down at him. You drop down to one knee, getting into Jason’s face. Eyes popping open wide when he senses you so close. You look at him with fire in your eyes as you point a finger in his face.

“Let me tell you something, you piece of shit. I didn’t come back here to deal with your little brat boy bullshit. If I see you try to put your hands on any of my friends, let alone me, again… I will make you regret it. And don’t think that I won’t.” You hiss, voice full of steel. Staring at him with as much intensity as he held earlier. You relish in the brief moment of fear that flashes through his eyes before his face hardens in frustration and embarrassment, chest heaving with deep, short breaths.

A silence falls before the bell rings to end the lunch period, breaking you all out of the moment. Jason quickly pulls himself to his feet before students flood the halls, not wanting anyone to see him in his embarrassing position. You rise with him. He fixes his letterman jacket, staring daggers between you and Eddie.

“Fucking freaks” he huffs before turning around, stomping down the hall quickly as it fills with students.

Both you and Eddie relax, releasing a breath before you’re just standing there awkwardly next to each other. You resecure your bag on your shoulder before chancing a look at Eddie, who's already staring at you. Reading you, assessing you, trying to tell if you’re okay.

You clear your throat before nodding your head at him.

“Thank you” you mutter softly. When he doesn’t immediately say anything back, your body takes the lead, quickly walking away toward your next class.

Eddie considers chasing after you, but he doesn’t know what the hell he’d say if he did. He just watches you walk away before he takes slow steps to follow you to your shared class together.

In the two classes you have together, you can feel his eyes on you. You catch him a few times, eyes locking with his before one of you quickly looks away.

You feel like you have whiplash. From the switch up of the Eddie you faced on Friday that hated your guts, to the Eddie who didn’t waste a second coming to defend you, with only a few days passing in between. You can’t wrap your head around it. You know he cares, he wouldn’t have been so angry before if he didn’t, but you assumed he was done with you, hated you. But someone that hates you wouldn’t rush into potential harms way to defend you, right?

A few more stolen glances and the muffled voices of your teachers’ as you’re lost in thought fills the remainder of your school day. When you leave your final class, stopping at your locker before walking out the front doors, you wonder if he’ll come up behind you, apologize for his behavior on Friday and give you another chance. But it doesn’t happen, making the walk to your truck uninterrupted. You want to chastise yourself for holding that hope, but what happened today can’t mean nothing. It just can’t. You don’t want it to.

You spend the remainder of your afternoon trying to do your homework. It takes everything in you to focus, almost giving up when the calculus problems push you right to the edge in frustration. You let out a huff in relief as you finish the problems and slam your notebook shut, throwing your head back as you slouch in your chair. Rubbing your hands over your face before you hear your mom unlocking the front door. When you note the time and sun setting through your window, you get up and make your way to the kitchen to start making dinner. You browse through the cupboard before your eyes land on a package of pasta. Spaghetti it is.

As you wait for the meat to brown, your mind replays the events of the day. Landing back into the loop your thoughts had been stuck in all afternoon about Eddie. Trying to make sense of it all, of him. The moment your eyes locked this afternoon made your heart ache, and still does when you think of it now.

You aren’t sure when exactly you first fell in love with Eddie Munson.

The first day you met when he came to your rescue from bullies? That time in the woods when you were 10 when he insisted you be the trapped princess his mission was to rescue? The countless Friday nights you spent staying up late to watch The Midnight Special, eventually falling asleep on each other's shoulders? The first time he shared his mom’s records with you? The first time he really opened up to you about the loss of his mom, and the strenuous relationship with his Dad? That night your parents fighting got so bad you snuck out of your window and went to his trailer in tears, consoling you and doing anything he could to cheer you up? That time he almost went to fight your mom when he saw the red mark on your cheek? Or maybe it was the time he told you you’re beautiful the way you are, when your mom and everyone’s criticisms of your body weighed too heavily on your mind?

You can’t pinpoint which event triggered the change from seeing Eddie as your friend, to your crush. What event marked the transition to being in love with your best friend, seeing and imagining him in ways beyond a regular friend would. You aren’t sure when, but you know you’ve been in love with him for as long as you can remember. An unrequited love that made your heart ache with every pet name bestowed upon you, with every flash of that devilish smile and irresistible dimples, with every use of his deep, animated voice for dramatic storytelling. An ache you’d decided for years you could stifle to keep his friendship. An ache that turned into a sharp pain hearing his voice over the phone, hundreds of miles away. A pain you’d decided you couldn’t bear anymore. Maybe if you hadn’t been in love with him, things would’ve been different. You wouldn’t have pulled away.

So foolish. Desperately longing for things you couldn’t have. Longing so desperately you pushed away the best person in your life, the very person you longed for. A decision that didn’t take long for you to regret, but in your mind was too late to fix. Now, after today, you aren’t so confident about that.

You sit on the couch with your mom, eating Spaghetti and watching Magnum P.I. reruns as your thoughts continue. Mindless small talk about your days, vision zoning out as you stare at the tv, petting Henny who sits in your lap, and a heightened awareness of Eddie’s presence only 100 feet away. An hour later when your mom announces she’s going to bed, you ponder how to spend the rest of your night. You know you won’t be able to fall asleep yourself anytime soon, anticipating one of those nights you won’t be able to shut your mind off.

You wander to your room, shutting your door as you reach into one of your dresser drawers for your little stash box. Sighing in frustration when you notice you only have enough left for one more smoke.

You roll a quick blunt before throwing on a flannel and slipping out the front door. You take a deep inhale of the fresh air, relishing in the cool breeze of the late September night as you begin the short walk to the little neighborhood park at the end of your street. You don’t notice the figure on the porch across the street smoking a cigarette in the dark as you walk, taking in the sound of the breeze blowing through the leaves on the trees, the quietness of the park beyond the very faint sound of some network sitcom playing on a tv.

You sit on a swing and begin to move back and forth slowly as memories flood back. This playground hasn’t changed a bit since you first moved to Forest Hills Trailer Park 9 years ago. Paint faded and chipping, old mulch littered around the playground, and rusted metal chains on the swing that creaks with each movement. Eddie and you spent countless afternoons here in the early years of your friendship. Swinging together, laughing as you’d watch Eddie do the monkey bars, spinning each other on the merry-go-round till you thought you’d get sick.

You put the blunt to your lips and light it, taking a deep inhale as you look around the abandoned playground, hoping the weed would help to calm your mind enough to get some sleep. You rest your head against the metal swing chain, feet softly kicking at the mulch and dirt beneath you. You don’t hear the soft footsteps on pavement approaching you till they’re only a couple feet away, head shooting up at the intrusion when the sound meets your ears. Eddie clears his throat, hands in his vest pockets as he stands at the edge of the playground. Your movements still at the sight of him, streetlights illuminating his figure and messy curls. When your body stiffens and you remain silent, Eddie takes a few steps closer.

“I-uh, I come in peace, promise.” He says softly, raising his hands in surrender. “Mind if I join you?” he asks, head gesturing to the empty swing next to you. You only nod in response before casting your eyes down. You take another hit as he sits down next to you, praying the calming effects you sought would kick in quicker.

You’re both silent for a while, the light wind blowing through the trees, neighborhood noises, and soft creaks from the swing set the only sounds filling the space between you. Eddie’s knee bobs anxiously before he clears his throat.

“I um, just wanted to apologize for Friday. The way I acted, some of the things I said… I let my emotions get the best of me. I didn’t really give you much room to talk, and I’m sorry for that.” Eddie says nervously, eyes turning to look at you as he finishes. You nod in response again, not looking his way.

“I understand. I don’t blame you.” Silence falls between you again before you look towards him. “Thank you again, for earlier today. You didn’t need to step in like that.” Eddie chuckles softly.

“Oh, I know you could’ve handled him just fine on your own, but you shouldn’t have had to... It’s no problem, really. Not my first run in with him anyway.” You wonder just how many times Eddie’s had to deal with Carver and the other jocks, just how bad those run-ins have possibly gotten. In a sign signaling truce, you hand your blunt to him, offering a hit. He gladly accepts with a soft smile before taking a hit.

“Since when do you smoke the devil’s lettuce?”

You giggle softly, letting a smile spread to your cheeks.

“About a year now, same with these” You say, pulling the pack of cigarettes from your pocket enough for him to see. Eddie tsk’s in response, passing the blunt back to you.

“Naughty naughty.” He teases in a deep voice, eyeing you while blowing out smoke. You tear your eyes away and back to the mulch beneath your feet, the sight enough to send a shiver up your spine.

After a few more passes between you, the blunt is gone and you’re left to face the inevitable conversation. You rub your sweaty palms against your thighs as you work up the courage.

“I just wanted to say again, I’m sorry for how things went. For dropping contact. It’s entirely my fault and… I’m really sorry for doing that to you, Eddie. You didn’t deserve that.” Your eyes peek at him. He’s faced forward, nodding softly in response as he lights a cigarette. He moves his hips slightly, enough to turn his body more toward yours.

“So why did you do it?” he asks quietly, dark eyes looking up from his cigarette to meet yours. A somber look on his face, a stark contrast from a few days ago. You take a shaky deep breath while turning your head to look up at the stars littering the sky.

You can’t tell him the truth. You can’t tell him you stopped returning his calls because you were so in love with him that the distance, the sound of his voice over the phone caused your heart to ache so deeply that you couldn’t take it anymore, that you’d recluse to your room and cry after each call.

“We were so close and it hurt so much to be torn apart. Every time I heard your voice on the phone… it just” you take another deep breath, “it was just a reminder that I wouldn’t see you again and that just hurt too much to deal with. I didn’t want to deal with it. So… I secluded. I avoided you. I know it might not make sense, that it might not be a good enough answer for you, but it’s the only one I have.”

You didn’t exactly lie. It’s not the full truth but you were still as honest as you could let yourself be. He’s quiet for a minute as he takes in your words before letting out a deep sigh.

“I guess I get that,” He does, he felt the pain too. The way his heart ached in longing every time he heard your voice, every time he’s thought about you since. It wasn’t enough for him to stop calling, but he still understands you shared the same pain during every call. “But you could’ve seen me again, you’ve been visiting in the summers this whole time.” he protests softly.

“Eddie, when I stopped calling I didn’t know I was going to come back to visit.” You shake your head lightly before turning your body towards him, mirroring his. “I mean, I figured I’d come back and see my Dad eventually, but uh if you remember, he wasn’t exactly in the best mental state when we left and was also locked up so, I didn’t really know anything about what would happen.” You look away from him and towards your lap, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your flannel. “It’s not that I don’t regret it, I do. But by the time I changed my mind and found out about coming back in the summer I was just… like, paralyzed. It had only been two months after I stopped calling, but I was afraid. Afraid it was too much time that’d passed, afraid you’d moved on and replaced me, afraid you wouldn’t forgive me… so I didn’t do anything. Just let it be. The whole time I just told myself you probably didn’t care much anyway.” Eddie blinks at you, wide-eyed as you finish before scoffing lightly.

“You really think I would’ve ‘replaced’ you that easily? That quickly? You were my best friend too, Y/N. The closest I’ve ever had, even closer than Ronnie, you know that. How could you think I wouldn’t care?”

“Come on, Eddie. You’re telling me your brain never fucks with you like that?” You ask, fingers picking a cigarette out of your pack and lighting it quickly. After an inhale you continue, “I mean logically, I know that you felt the same about our friendship. Plenty of memories and moments to prove it. But I just kept thinking back to when I first told you I was leaving. Sure, you seemed disappointed but you weren’t as upset as I was, you didn’t cry. And despite knowing I've only seen you cry like, twice before in all those years, my brain still just clung onto that. Like ‘See! He doesn’t really care, not as much as you.’” You shake your head in disappointment and frustration with yourself as you take another hit. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“No,” Eddie answers quickly, squashing his own cigarette in the mulch with his Reebok sneakers. He looks at you, a sympathetic look etched across his features. “I know what that’s like.” You’re both quiet at first, letting the new information and understanding fall into place. You rock yourself back and forth on the swing slowly, gathering your words before you speak them.

“Look, I don’t expect you to forgive me and I don’t know what I could do to make it up to you but, I just need to say again that I’m sorry. I would take it all back if I could. I’ve really missed you.” You finish, eyes meeting his. You hope they’re portraying your sincerity as his own search your face. He looks away from you as a small smile tugs at one side of his lips, feet kicking at the mulch below.

“Yeah well… I missed you too.” You breathes out, eyes meeting yours again. A small smile tugs at your own lips. After a few moments of silence, he finishes. “I forgive you.”

He leans towards you, pinky finger extended. You choke out a laugh at the sight, relief washing over you. You wrap your pinky around his, closing your eyes to stop them from watering as your smile deepens.

When your fingers detach, you sigh deeply and open your eyes to meet his again.

“Thank you” you say quietly, warmth spreading through your body. It feels like a massive weight has been taken off your shoulders. The optimism and hope you haven’t felt since last Sunday, before your first day back at Hawkins, creeps its way back into your mind and body. You note how much lighter your chest feels as it moves with each breath, and the knot you’ve felt in your stomach for a week begins to loosen.

You stay there for a while, lightly swinging back and forth as you and Eddie dive into discussions about new bands, albums, and movies that have come out since you moved. Concerts you’ve been to since. Eddie smiles seeing that you haven’t changed one bit since you’d left, even mentioning bands and movies he hadn’t even heard of, promising to share your tapes with him at some point. He finds himself getting lost watching you as you excitedly describe the Journey concert you went to with your cousins in 83’. Smiling when he notices the sparkle in your eyes as you rave about Steve Perry’s voice and how they played your favorite songs. Laughing as you pout in jealousy when he describes the Metallica concert he went to with Gareth earlier this year. It all feels so familiar, so comfortable.

You’re so lost in conversation you don’t notice how much time passes by until Eddie checks his watch and whistles. It’s almost 11:30pm, nearly 2 hours since you first walked down to the playground. The hesitancy you held about your ability to get a goodnight’s rest tonight was gone. You feel like you’re floating as you and Eddie walk the short distance back to your trailers, Eddie telling you about Hellfire’s current campaign.

“You know, you’re more than welcome to join us sometime. You already know half the club.” He offers as you reach the end of your driveway.

“I’ll definitely think about it, thanks.” You give him a small smile.

“Cool. Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He returns your smile as he rocks back and forth on his heels lightly, hands shoved into his vest pockets.

“Oh, wait! Kind of an odd question but before I forget, do you know anyone around here that sells?” You ask as the thought of your now empty stash box pops into your head. Eddie smoked with you, you figure he knew where to get some around here.

And boy, did he.

A bright, cheeky smile stretches across his face.

“Oh yeah, I know a guy.” He says with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes before he bows dramatically, “Your friendly neighborhood drug dealer at your service, my dear.”

#eddie munson fic #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x plussize!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #bestfriend!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson

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kpop---scenarios · 4 hours

Text

Whiplash (2)

Pairing: Felix x Reader x Hyunjin

Genre: Street Racing, Gang, Friends to Lovers

Word Count: 4k

Taglist: @sheala--marie @kayleefriedchicken @chartrucewhore @cookiesnmilfx

Part One |

“I'm never drinking again.” You groan, rubbing your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you try to sooth your throbbing head. The only thing you remembered about last night was dancing with that guy and then everything goes blank. You take a deep breath in and out before your eyes shoot open. You sniff harder, smelling something delicious, wondering who was in your apartment. And then it hit you, you weren't even home. You looked around, recognizing Hyunjin's room immediately. You crawl out of his bed, your feet shuffling out the door and down the hallway, towards the delicious smell. As you get closer you can hear Felix and Hyunjin talking.

“Food always gets her up. Just wait.” Felix laughed. He knew you so well.

“This smells so good.” You groan, sitting down at the island as you watch the two make pancakes, bacon and eggs.

“I told you.” Felix says, glancing at Hyunjin.

“Good morning.” Hyunjin says, smiling at you as he slides a plate in front of you.

“Morning.” You smile, picking up your fork, ready to dig in. But you couldn't. You looked up at the two men, who were staring at you smirking.

“Do I have something on my face?” you ask, wiping your face off. Neither of them reply, they just keep cooking, glancing at you and smirking.

You take a few bites of your food, trying to ignore those two but flashes of last night keep playing in your head.

“Did I.. “ you pause. “Did I do something last night?” You ask.

Hyunjin and Felix look at each other and then back at you. “Okay, what!?” You yell.

“Maybe I need to get off too.. cause of you two!” Felix says, his voice deep, his eyes on you.

“The things I wanna do to the two of you are not platonic.” Hyunjin says.

Your fork drops as you gasp. Your hands cover your mouth as you stare at them both, your eyes wide. The memories come flooding back to you like a tidal wave and you want to actually fucking die.

“That.. I, um. Wow. Okay so I was drunk. Like really drunk. My sincerest apologies. I'm gonna go.” You mumble. You slip out of the chair quicker than you realized, slipping on your shoes and grabbing your purse and heading out the door. You could not believe you had said all that. you were gonna be embarrassed for the rest of your life. Once you had walked a couple blocks you called a cab so you could properly grieve and call Seulgi so she could talk you off the ledge.

“You said what!?” She gasps.

“Yeah.. drunk me has no sense of boundaries apparently.” You sigh.

“So what are you gonna do?” She asks.

“I'm going to handle it like a mature adult.” You declare. “And pretend it never happened.” You can hear Selgui sigh on the other end of the phone.

Once you're home, you collapse in your bed, closing your eyes while your brain replays the things you said to Hyunjin and Felix the night before. Drunk you really liked to speak your sober thoughts apparently. As embarrassed as you were, you were feeling more anxious than anything. Based on their reactions this morning you knew your friendship wasn't ruined with them, but you couldn't help but feel guilty for saying those things. What if you had made them uncomfortable? What if they started distancing themselves from you? You were a ball of stress and you weren't sure how, or if you could make things better.

You spent the rest of the day in bed, ignoring any phone call and text that made your phone ring. You just wanted to wallow in your self pity for a little bit longer before facing anyone. Part of you knew it wasn't a very big deal, but the other part was mad because you had done so well to keep yourself in a platonic place with them. Finally a few hours later, and after you couldn't stand listening to the beeps and ringing of your phone anymore, you looked at it. All the messages from Felix and Hyunjin, not to mention the phone calls from them as well as from Chan, Changbin and Han begging you to come over for homemade pizza night. you decided to text Han back, letting him know that you'll be right there. You didn't wait for a reply, not that you needed to, but you got dressed and headed over to face the music.

Walking into the house, it's unusually quiet. Where were those rowdy boys? All you could hear was the low humming that was coming from the kitchen. You followed the sound, finding Felix in the kitchen, rolling out dough.

“Hey.” You smile, sitting at the island that you left in a rush only a few hours before.

“Hey you.” He grins, looking up for a second before focusing back on his dough. “The others had to run out for a bit, but we'll let the dough rise and then make the pizzas.” He tells you. You nod your head, feeling too nervous to say anything.

“Can I get you a cocktail?” He asks.

“Oh god, please.” You smile. You knew you shouldn't, but what more could you say to him? Felix quickly whips you up something delicious and you drink it far too quickly.

“Good thing I made extra.” He chuckles, filling your cup again. This time you sip on it as he works on more dough. “What's up? Why do you seem all weird?” He asks.

“What?” You question. You were acting weird, you were quiet and distant.

“Is it because of last night?” He asks, not looking up at you.

“Yeah.” You sigh. “I don't want things to be weird with the three of us.”

“Why would things be weird?” He asks, now looking at you.

“Because of what.. I, you know, said.” You mutter. Felix laughs.

“Maybe I want you to use me non platonically.” He smirks, looking up at you.

Your stomach drops. You stare at him, your mouth hanging open. “I'm.. what?” You ask. But before Felix can reply, you both hear the front door open. You turn your head to look at the entryway, and in walks Hyunjin with a smile plastered on his face.

“There's my girl.” He says, grabbing your chin. “What's going on?” He asks, looking between your shocked face and Felix.

“I think I'm dreaming.” You say, turning back to look at Felix who continues to smirk at you. You pinch your cheek, just to see, but you're not. This is real life.

“Pizza!” You can hear Changbin yell, as the rest of the boys come into the kitchen. They all hug you before standing around the island, Felix giving everyone their dough, and placing all the topping options, cheese and sauce in the middle. The rest of the night you could barely focus, Felix's words replaying in your head.

“Maybe I want you to use me non platonically.”

Was he interested in you? Was he joking? You wanted to ask him, but you didn't want to do it in front of everyone, so you left it. Later that night, as you were trying to sleep in your bed, you fell asleep to the thought of using him non platonically.

Over the next few days, you didn't see much of anyone. They said they had a lot of things going on, and you didn't question it. Sometimes they were very suspicious but you figured they were just being guys. With nothing to do, you made plans with Seulgi and a few other friends for a girls night. But of course, the night that you had plans was the night that the guys wanted to do something.

“How?” You laugh at one of the girls. “How do you manage to score four dudes in one singular night?” You ask. “I can barely get one.”

Everyone at the table laughs at your comment to Lisa. This is what you needed, a fun night out with some girls, and a guy named Mike who had tagged along. It was a good way to get your mind off of things. You took a shot from one of the bottles on the table, beginning to feel tipsy as you eat a little bit of food. You look at Seulgi who is looking at you with a weird look on her face.

“What?” You ask. Her eyes dart over to the left, you look over and see Felix and Hyunjin sitting at a table with two girls you didn't recognize. Your heart sank as you stared at the girls smiling while they're talking. You glance over at the boys, but they don't look like they're enjoying themselves as much as the girls are.

They must have felt your stare, or maybe you stared for too long, but they looked over, directly at you, and seemed shocked to see you. You gave them a slight smile and wave before turning back to your other friends. You tried to ignore them, but you could feel their eyes burning into the side of your head as you spoke, your group drunkenly trying to figure out what to do after dinner.

“Do you guys wanna go to the club?” Mike asks, looking at you. You shrug your shoulders. “I wouldn't say no to dancing there.” You smile, glancing at Felix and Hyunjin, who are now walking over to you.

“Are you guys going to the club?” Hyunjin asks, looking at you. You nod your head, your heart beating quicker. They could do nothing and your heart flutters with butterflies in your stomach.

“We'll see you there.” Felix smiles, walking out of the restaurant with the two girls and Hyunjin. You shake your head, trying to get the thought of them out of your head.

The moment you get to the club, you, Seulgi and Mike head straight for the bar. The three of you take a few shots before heading out to the dance floor, leaving Mike to sit there. You always loved dancing with girlfriends, because you never had to worry about unwanted touching. The two of you danced by yourself for a bit, until Mike decided to join you, and for some reason he had decided he wanted to dance with you. His hands grabbed your hips to pull you in close to him, but you really didn't want to. Seugli had disappeared on you, leaving you to fight him off on your own. He turns you around to face him, his hands roaming your body. You push him away, but he grabs your wrist, holding it tightly.

“I just wanna dance with you.” Mike grits through his teeth. You can see the anger bubbling up through his body.

“I don't want to dance with you. I'm sorry.” You say, trying to free your wrist from his grip.

“One dance. That's all I want. You can't tease me and then not give me what I want.” He scoffs.

“Excuse me?” You yell, pulling your wrist from his grip. “I never fucking teased you. I said no, so fucking listen.” You turn to walk away from him but he grabs you again, holding you even tighter, trying to pull you off the dance floor. You fight him with all you had but he just holds on tighter, pulling you away. Until you halt, you look up and see Hyunjin standing in front of Mike, he's angry. Your wrist is released, Felix now holding onto Mike's hand, twisting his wrist hard, causing Mike to fall to his knees.

“Don't you know what no means?” Felix asks, his voice scary as he glares at Mike. You turn and run to Hyunjin, he wraps his arms around you as he continues to stare at Mike. Felix leans down, whispering into Mike's ear. “You touch her again, I'll fucking kill you. Got it?”

Luckily you don't hear him as you nuzzle into Hyunjin's chest. Until you realize that they had dates, and they needed to get back to them. You felt guilty, it seemed like you were always getting into situations that they needed to save you from and that wasn't fair. You backed away from Hyunjin, looking sad and guilty.

“You guys have dates. They're probably looking for you.” You say, looking up at them both. “Thank you for helping me, and I'm sorry you have to keep saving me.” You whisper.

Felix and Hyunjin look at each other before looking back at you. “Don't apologize.” Hyunjin smiles.

“We'd go to war for you, baby.” Felix winks before he and Hyunjin leave to find the girls they were with. Finally Seulgi comes back, explaining she was waiting in the longest line for the bathroom.

“What happened!? Why are you crying?” She asks.

“Mike.” You sniffle. “He wanted to dance and I didn't. He got really aggressive.” Seulgi looks guilty as she listens to you.

“I'm so sorry.” She whispers, pulling you in for a hug.

“Luckily Hyunjin and Felix saved me.” You chuckle. “I don't know where Mike went off too.”

“Fuck Mike, he's banned from the group now.” She says. “Where did Felix and Hyunjin go?” She asks.

“I sent them back with their dates.” You say. She nods her head.

“What do you wanna do?” She asks. “Stay or go?”

“I'm gonna go. But you stay. Honestly, I just need some air. I'm gonna walk home. I promise I'll be fine. I'll call you when I'm home.” You say, giving a slight smile. She hugs you tightly, and watches you walk out of the club.

You really didn't want to call a cab but you did. You weren't dumb, you knew something bad could happen if you walked. You didn't want to bother any of the boys. You stood outside the club, waiting for your cab and you were annoyed, you felt like you only attracted men who didn't have good intentions and you didn't know why. You just wanted someone.. maybe two men who loved you with everything they had, like you felt for them. Honestly you just wanted Hyunjin and Felix and you didn't know how much longer you could fight off these feelings. It felt like they were bubbling up to your chest now and it was only a matter of them before they made your head explode.

You paid your fare and headed inside your apartment. You turned on your shower to the hottest that you could handle to scrub off the feeling of Mike's hands on your body. You couldn't help thinking about what could have happened to you had Felix and Hyunjin not been there for you. As you finish in the shower, you come out and check your phone seeing an email you'd been waiting for. A few weeks ago you had interviewed for a receptionist job at an elite law office. You nervously opened the email, screaming and dropping your phone in excitement as you jumped around your room. You got the job and you were so happy to not be living off of your savings anymore. You pick up your phone, reading the rest of the email, seeing you still had a few days before you were starting, you were so happy you completely forgot about what had happened that night. You fell asleep quickly, feeling like everything was going to be okay.

The next morning you woke up, in a great mood and ready for the day. You looked at your phone, seeing a message from Felix.

[9:58am From Felix] Morning, Can I take you to lunch today? I need to talk to you.

A knot immediately formed in your stomach. This was going to be bad. He's going to end the friendship or something. He was probably tired of you and your shit. You didn't want to go, but you needed to know. Your anxiety wouldn't let you not know and you wouldn't be able to function.

[10:09am To Felix] That doesn't sound good. Let me know when and where.

[10:11am From Felix] Same restaurant as last night. Meet you there at 11:30am]

You don't reply. You can't. You can feel the lump in your throat getting bigger. You tried your best to get ready, to make yourself look decent but you were on the verge of tears and you couldn't control it. The thought of losing one of your best friends was devastating.

You sit at the table, your fingers interlaced as you wait for Felix. Your head is down as you try to breathe through the anxiety. You hear the door open, your head shoots up and you see Felix and Hyunjin walk in. There are no smiles, no happy greetings and you knew this was going to be bad. The two men sit down, across from you, staring at you.

“Did you order?” Felix asks, looking at the menu.

“I can't eat right now.” You whisper. Fuck. Your tears were going to start spilling right away.

“Neither can I.” He sighs, closing the menu. “Look, the reason I asked you to lunch and that Hyunjin joined too is that we really need to talk to you about something.” He says.

The tears fall as you look at them. They're now staring at you confused.

“Why are you crying?” Hyunjin asks, reaching over to wipe your tears.

“I don't want to lose you guys.” You cry. They look at each other before looking back at you.

“Why are you losing us?” Felix asks.

“Isn't that what this is? You're ending the friendship?” You ask.

Felix laughs. “I guess in a sense.” He says. He reaches over and grabs your hands. “This isn't about ending anything. More so taking it to the next level.”

You stare at him. “next level? Like ultimate best friends?’ you ask.

They both laugh, and then stone faces as they take a deep breath. “I'm falling in love with you.” Felix admits.

“What?” You whisper.

“And I'm falling in love with you.” Hyunjin admits. “And we don't know what to do.”

“We don't want to ruin things if you don't feel the same but neither of us could hold it in any longer.” Felix says.

Suddenly the tears flow, you take your hands back to cover your face as you sob. Neither of them say a word as you cry. Until Felix's phone rings.

“Yeah Chan?” He answers. “Fuck. Now? Shit okay, we're on our way.” He says. He looks at Hyunjin who immediately knows what's going on.

“We gotta go. But we're having a party tonight. Please come and we can talk.” Felix tells you as they both stand up and walk out the door.

You're in shock. That's not at all how you thought that conversation was going to go.

They are both falling in love with you. And you're already in love with them both. What do you do? Do you choose one and leave one heartbroken, while also leaving yourself heartbroken. Did you date both? Could you date both? Would they be okay with that? You stand up and head home, your mind swirling with thoughts on what to do. You couldn't believe it.

Later that night you got yourself ready for the party, you were very confident on what you were going to do. And you hoped they didn't ask you to choose because you wouldn't be able to. You wanted to give dating both of them both a try. If the three of you put in the effort, you were sure that you guys could do it.

You walk through the door of the party, seeing the house was filled with people. Changbin and Han run up to you, engulfing you in hugs before Han demands another beer chugging rematch.

“We will, later.” You laugh. “Do you know where Felix and Hyunjin are?” You ask.

“I think in the kitchen.” He tells you, going over to say hi to someone else. You make your way to the kitchen, seeing Felix standing there talking to someone. You take a deep breath, and head straight for him. He smiles as he sees you walk up to him. You press up against his chest, sliding your hand on the back of his head, pulling his head down closer to you. He stares into your eyes as you move your face closer and closer, until your lips touch his. As soon as your lips touch, he takes control. He spins you around, pinning you against the fridge as he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

Felix breaks the kiss, stepping away from you with a grin on his face. You look past him seeing Hyunjin standing there. You motion him to come to you with your finger. He walks towards you, and you move past Felix, grabbing onto Hyunjin's collar and pulling him down. His lips touch yours and he quickly slides his tongue into your mouth, hardening the kiss.

He pulls away from you, grinning at you and Felix. You guide Hyunjin to stand next to Felix and you clear your throat as you look at both of them.

“I can't choose, and I won't choose. I'm falling hard for you both and I want you both. If you're okay with that then I'm all in, but if you're not then it won't work.” You tell them.

“I'm in.” Hyunjin smiles.

“I'm all in.” Felix says. You were so fucking happy in this moment. You kissed them both before grabbing some celebratory shots. The three of you take a few shots before you drag them both to the living room to dance. You feel as though you're in heaven, grinding your ass into Felix and Hyunjin grinds in front of you. Your happiness is short lived, as the front door busts open and in walks eight men, one of which you recognize. The music shuts off as Chan, Changbin, Jeogin, Minho, Han, Felix and Hyunjin stand in front of the intruders.

“What the hell are you doing here Hongjoong?” Chan yells. The man just laughs.

“What? You thought you could start doing illegal mods on cars and I wouldn't fucking find out?” He yells.

What was going on?

“Is business slow?” Chan asks. “Maybe if you were better at your job, you wouldn't lose so many clients.” He says, fake pouting. Hongjoong turns red as anger consumes him.

“Me and you. A race now, the winner keeps doing mods, and the loser closes up shop.” He yells. Everyone begins cheering but you feel confused. You'd heard about street racing, but you had no idea that they were involved in it. You look at Felix and Hyunjin, who look guilty.

“Y/N.” You hear from across the room. You look over and a familiar man walks over to you. You squint your eyes as he comes closer, and then it hits you. It was San. You had a mini fling with him years ago and ended on good terms and as friends.

“San! Oh my god.” You laugh, running up to him, wrapping your arms around him. “So good to see you.” You laugh, letting go of the large man. Hyunjin and Felix are on each side of you, glaring at their enemy.

“Get your hands off of her.” Felix snaps, pulling you back, and closer to him.

“We used to hook up.” San winks. You roll your eyes.

“If you can even call it that.” You laugh.

“It was good to see you, Y/N.” He says, winking at you before walking towards his group. You turn to Hyunjin and Felix, a stern look on your face.

“Street racing?” You gasp.

“Y/N.. listen.” Hyunjin starts.

“How long?” You ask. “How long have you guys been doing this shit and why didn't you tell me?”

“Since before we met.” Felix says. “It's not that we didn't want to tell you.”

“We just wanted to protect you.” Hyunjin says. “We're involved with a lot of dangerous people. We just want to keep you safe.”

“Hyunjin, Felix. Let's go.” Chan yells. The crowd disperses, heading out to wherever the race is going to be.

“Go to one of our rooms.” Felix says. “We'll be back in a bit.”

You scoff at the handsome man. “Absolutely not.” You deadpan.

“I'm coming with you.”

#lee felix #hwang hyunjin #stray kids #felix smut #hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #kpop fanfic #kpop writing #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #skz x reader #skz imagines #skz smut #skz fanfic #skz

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 12 hours

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Hi i read your sad Grayson hcs and can you pls make Jamie's next thanx 💕💕

sad jameson head canons

YES! i love jamie sm, he's the best brother out of the four of them. this might resemble my sad grayson hcs post bc i find them quite similar at their core (i'm gonna make a post about that someday). again, trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. pls don't read this if these things trigger you. i also got kind of tired near the end so the last ones aren't as good as the first ones. hope you like them<3

jameson used to watch his brothers and wonder if he actually belonged in the family with them.

he has random scars all over his body. he tells people they're from his many risky adventures but, in reality, they're self harm scars.

jameson, instead of denying himself food and water like grayson when gets self destructive, just does all of the risky shit he can come up with hoping one of those things would kill him.

when he was 16, he bought pills he was planning on overdosing on. on the day he was supposed to go through with it, though, nash surprised him with a day trip to the beach with his brothers. he had so much fun, he completely forgot about his plans. (there was a smiliar hc in the grayson post i think, but i actually think it might fit jamie better cause gray would feel like he couldn't leave all of his responsibilities behind)

he would use the shards of broken alcohol bottles he broke on purpose to cut himself.

when he gets mad at himself or anxious, he'll pull at his hair really roughly.

grayson once told him to kill himself as a joke, but jamie took it to heart and that's the reason why he has that really long scar on his chest (gray is basically the reason he jumped off of that cliff repeatedly until tobias caught him) (sorry grayson stans i still love gray though)

people who asked him out on dates always broke it off weeks later bc they found him plain and careless (which doesn't make sense bc he's not). jamie put everything he had in these relationships even if they only lasted like a week. they offered him nothing.

i mentioned this in my sad grayson hc post, but i feel like it applies to jamie more; jamie pisses people off on purpose to anger them and make them leave when he gets self-destructive. he secretly hopes someone will see through the act but they never do (except for avery, he doesn't treat her like shit though, but she knows when he does it to others)

jamie, as a kid, was convinced smth was wrong with him. he'd look in the mirror for hours on end wondering why it was so hard for people to love him and truly see him (and for him to love himself).

jamie saw a therapist for a while who prescribed him anti-depressants. she insisted he come back for more visits bc she was afraid he would off himself but he never did.

jamie wants help but doesn't think he deserves it. he thinks he's overreacting most of the time and won't let himself get better.

although it might not look like it, jamie actually tried really hard in school to measure up to xander and gray. he would study is ass off to get grades like xander's and grayson's (he was very very good in school, but never as good as his brothers, and that made him think of himself as unworthy)

jamie's waiting for the day that avery realizes that he's not good enough for her and leaves him, but she reassures him he's stuck with her.

when he gets mad at himself, he goes to their indoor gym and punches the punching bag repeatedly until his knuckles start bleeding (and even then, he might keep going)

he also takes scalding showers as a way to hurt himself (scalding as in might burn his skin off)

he's a nail biter. he also bites the skin around his cuticles when he's feeling really shitty.

he used to listen to the way his grandfather talked to/about his brothers and think that they'd be better off without him (tobias was never as kind to jamie as he was to his brothers).

ever since thea turned everyone against him at school, he sits in the back of the school library during lunch. he looks at the people hanging out with their friends whilst they eat wishing he could be more likeable.

he used to write letters to his father and give them to tobias hoping he'd send them to his father (he never did)

multiple times, while driving, he would consider purposely getting himself in a car crash to not have to deal with himself anymore

he used to ask nash if he was a good enough brother when he was younger. nash died a little bit inside every time.

jamie sometimes sits outside gray's door, crying, wishing he could someday be enough for him (gray in the first book is actually kind of a shit brother to jamie. he acts as if jamie is lesser than him and it pisses me off)

when jamie was younger, he would show grayson things that he did that he was proud of hoping grayson would be proud of him too. grayson thought he was being annoying (i love gray, don't get me wrong but i feel like he'd do this not knowing how much it meant to jamie...)

jamie never asks for help/advice bc he thinks of himself as a burden.

he used to steal stuff when he was little bc he was desperate to have smth that was actually his and not gray's. (emily, tobias' attention, etc were never actually his) (@catapparently came up with this one)

he doesn't believe people when they tell him they love him. he thinks they're bluffing/pitying him.

jameson accepts the bare minimum from people bc he believes no one would ever be willing to give him more than scraps of love.

whenever he has panic attacks, he bangs his head on walls to try to put an end to them. he ends up with big bruises on his forehead but pretends he got them from his adventures and shit.

he used to have nightmares a lot as a kid where the people he loved left him. when he would wake up from them, he would consider looking for his brothers for comfort but he never did bc he was scared that they would make his nightmares come true.

he hates being vulnerable bc every single time he's opened up to people, they either thought he was overreacting or didn't bother staying/helping him. whenever he saw them leave he would blame himself for being too much.

he practices his fake smiles in the mirror every morning. everyone sees through them except for avery.

he has this one blanket that he got as a child that he used to talk to when he needed to vent (he wouldn't vent to his brothers cause he didn't wanna bother them). tobias thought it was childish and threw it away. jamie didn't let anyone see, but he cried every night for a full month.

he had this tradition where he would cut himself whenever tobias called him ordinary or unworthy. the amount of scars on his body just discourages him and makes him hate himself even more.

a happier jamie head canon to end this:

he used to post tutorial on youtube when he was like 7. he had some for slime making, cartwheels, sand castle building etc. he actually had quite a large following bc he was a hawthorne. he always responded to fand and followed them back. the comments he'd receive always made him super happy (same, i love receiving comments, they make my day)

i know i've said this in every sad hcs post, but i feel the need to do it again. if you ever feel like life isn't worth living or just need help in general, pls reach out to a friend or a helpline. sending lots of love to everyone <3.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #averyjameson

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