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butterfly--empress · 3 years

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So About BnHA…

Man! I don’t participate much on here but it sure has been an interesting popcorn eating time, lurking through the good, the bad, and the annoying posts in the spoiler chapter tags. For this week’s chapter, especially!

Not gonna rant (I save those for close friends on discord)

I do notice that lines within this crazy ass fandom have been drawn, tears have been shed and righteous fury has been felt. And no matter wtf Mister Horikoshi has in stored for chapter 320, it’s going to be a make or break chapter for a lot of folks. I did try my best to keep this post Bakugou neutral grounds. I don’t think I’ve bashed nor favored the character just fyi.

But the most inconspicuous opinions can be taken too serious these days…

The Silly:

For chapter 320 onwards, I am and have ALWAYS BEEN 100% Team: The Legend, The Myth, The Champ, Izuku ‘Feral!Rabbit-Cryptid!’ Midoriya! Win or Lose, I ride or die with Midoriya, hands down! ON GOD!

While everybody yelling into the tumblr void over whose gonna win or lose.

I’m sitting here thinking about two things: A) Has no one thought that maybe some of Class 1-A might side with Deku? *coughsUraraka/Iida/Todorokicoughs* *coughsmaybeevenMineta/Asui/Yaoyorozu???coughs* *coughs maybe even a surprise Shinsou/class1-b reveal even though class 1-b don’t know deku that well* B) Did everyone forget in all the excitement that uhh my boi has yet to unlock the 2nd OFA user’s quirk???

I mean, I’m not saying if it does come down to a bawl of drama and angst, that Izuku’s gonna win.

But I am saying, if it does come down to a bawl of drama and angst, that Izuku’s gonna win…I regret nothing with this bet! If my boi loses we just gonna take that L but…ya know…*shrugs*…Baby, beat their Bakugou’s collective asses.

The Serious:

Personally, I honest to god really love this shounen series with all my heart. It is the anime that reignited my love for shounen after my fatigued of constant disappointment with two old shounen favorites.

Now, having said all that: I truly have not had a serious issue with the writing choices made by Horikoshi. Yes, I have my…gripes…(it’s complicated) but considering what I got compared to the stuff I’ve watched/read in the past, it’s definitely better to me. Having read/watched a lot of anime/manga and shounen, (I haven’t watched them ALL, srsly after my great disappointment and real life I sort of had an anime dry spell if you must know. Watched some stuff here and there when I could/in the mood but not as frequent as I’ve done like yrs ago), I’ve come to learn to just…begrudgingly accept/expect certain; I suppose you can say, writing choices or ‘tropes’ that I can just easily ignore them, roll my eyes when I see them, and still enjoy whatever I’m invested in at the time.

The only real frustrations I have is with a certain character. Yes, I mean Bakugou. I have come to tolerate him, I have come to begrudgingly like him, especially after a second rewatch of the series, I could see and accept that in a very typical shounen way, Bakugou did change, though very little, and it’s subtle and undeniably frustrating how it’s happening but it’s there. However, I do question Horikoshi’s writing choices when it comes to him at times. I see the character development, I know it’s there but….*sighs*

Now I’m one of these people who do believe that the creator of this universe, actually knows wtf he’s doing with his own story (even if rabid/hormonal younger fans loudly disagree but YMMV). One thing I’ve noticed, for the most part, he doesn’t just write/draw things for the hell of it, even if a certain plot or a certain character’s development takes a snail’s pace to get to the point. The conclusion of building up to arcs do have a pay off. (And I 100% understand that for some people, moving at a snail’s pace just don’t cut it. Everything cannot please everybody all of the time and that is FINE!)

Katsuki Bakugou…I know the crumbs and very subtle ways he’s changed have to lead somewhere and to something huge. When Bakugou admits to All Might he bullied Midoriya when they were kids, I had an ‘ah ha!’ Moment. The fact that a very prideful guy like Bakugou was finally starting to admit just that much, (even though, we the audience knows it runs way deeper than he’s admitting here) even in his frustrating roundabout way I like to think this is progress, is very in-character and cannot just be for the hell of it. It has to be leading up to something else other than Bakugou jumping in to take that hit for Deku during the war arc. There is unresolved tension still between Bakugou and Midoriya that is not going to just go away because they will it to.

Which brings us to Chapters 318 and especially 319. It’s the perfect set up for all the dirty skeletons to come out of the closet that both Bakugou and Midoriya have been avoiding/trying to pretend doesn’t exists between them, because it’s been a long time coming. The honest to god truth? This is actually how I always thought this confrontation will go, with a showdown that forces Midoriya into a corner where all those repressed negative feelings he’s bottled up inside is bound to come out; Because I Honestly think Izuku would take what Bakugou’s done to him to his grave if he had it, his way. (Boy can be very frustratingly stubborn when he wants to be).

It’s just, after saying all this, I don’t hold my breath that Horikoshi will take it there…The opportunity is there, I want it to go there, it NEEDS to go there! In order for both characters to come out for the better. But will Mister Horikoshi ‘DO THE THING?’

Remains to be seen. A little bit of me is hopeful, another part of me is resigning myself to feeling dissatisfied with what little we got for Bakugou’s character development and by proxy, Izuku’s getting stuck in limbo. I’m not kidding, Bakugou being a very contentious character within this fandom doesn’t just come from nowhere. But this post isn’t about me ranting into the void about Bakugou. (I don’t even think I can muster up the rage I felt the first time watching MHA blindly to rant to high hell about the bullshit Bakugou’s done now.)

I suppose I will just have to internally scream for 1,000 yrs over half baked character development if Horikoshi doesn’t do the FUCKING THING in giving a satisfying pay off to Katsuki and Midoriya’s history. I’ll just frustratingly chalk it up to old freaking shounen logic and just continue to enjoy the series because I’ve been here for Izuku Midoriya since ep 1 and I am not about to let Bakugou or Horikoshi’s unwillingness to do something with him derail that. And there’s always hoping that someone is writing some really good Bakugou gets actual Consequences fanfic out there because ooh boy…I like Bakugou but mofo can catch these hands…and I’m not even a fighter, but Bakugou…this lil shit does make you want to choke the hell out of him at times.

I haven’t been this emotionally frustrated over an anime character since…maybe fucking Louise from Zero no Tsukaima and it takes a LOT to make me actually dislike characters, good or bad.

All in All: Regardless of how the story goes from here on out, we are all about to lose our collective shits. No matter how you feel about which characters…

It’s about to go down!

#anti Bakugou #anti bakugo #bnha recent chapters #tried to stay neutral #but the side that loathes Bakugou #started to peek through #opps that #just my humble 2 cents #either take it or leave it #I don’t have the energy to argue with ‘children’#over my own shared thoughts #compared to what I can do #this mild…rant is tame #gawd i miss internet 1.0 #where i could intentionally avoid the parts of fandom #that i did not want to interact with ever #and rabid fans were a thing you heard of but never if you were lucky actually had to deal with

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bunivys · 3 years

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“Your hair is really soft”

Unless it’s too late!

Not too late at all! Thanks for sending this in. This is sorta set in a future spot in Lessons in the Unseen, though it's very vague. Hope you enjoy! <3

“Nick,” Sabrina chided, “You really should take a break.”

She looked over at her boyfriend and the pile of textbooks he had taking up most of their coffee table. He was seated on a cushion and hunched over, pen in hand as he jotted something down, barely glancing up at her when she spoke. She had a book in her own hand, except hers was strictly for pleasure and she was comfortably splayed out on the couch.

“I’m busy,” Nick reminded her.

“Then un-busy yourself for a few minutes. I’m getting a backache just from looking at you.”

“Sabrina, I’m literally so close to finishing this,” he told her. “If I can cohesively organize all of my old and new research, your aunt said I can present it to the council again in hopes it’ll be enough this time. I might actually get to teach a class on this, and I’d have their blessing to continue working on it. I have to do this, okay? If you can’t look at me, go somewhere else.”

“Then why don’t you go into the study? You’re going to hurt your back bending over like that.”

“Because I want to be by you,” he said. “If I’m in the study, then I’m not spending time with you.”

“Even if I’m being annoying?” Sabrina asked with a sly smile. She reached behind her to grab the TV remote from the end table and, while looking away from her book briefly, she turned on the television and began flipping through until she settled on a docu-series about cryptids. From the corner of her eye, she caught Nick’s offended expression as he looked over at her. Documentaries were one of his favorite things to watch. It didn’t matter what mortal issues they covered—history, crime, mystery, or the paranormal—he would devour them.

“Sabrina,” Nick groaned. “That’s not fair.”

“Your weakness,” Sabrina pointed out. “You’ll have to take a break whether you want to or not.”

He sighed and considered it for a moment, his eyes flicking to the TV where the narrator began to introduce the topic of that particular episode—the Mothman of West Virginia. Then, he stood up and made his way over to the couch where she was, kissing her once before he squeezed in with her, his head making its way onto her chest. Sabrina’s fingers settled in his hair, stroking through his curls in that way she knew would relax him.

“Mortals are so cute,” Nick sighed as he let his gaze fall onto the television. “They make up such odd stories for the things they can’t explain.”

They settled in like that, her book discarded and his research forgotten for the moment, both of them relaxing. Sabrina became so enthused by the documentary that she nearly didn’t notice it when Nick fell asleep, her fingers stilling in his hair at some point. She let him rest while she continued with the documentary, too intrigued to shut it off even though she knew he would complain about her watching it without him later on.

Eventually, as it ended, Nick stirred awake, and then when he realized what had happened, he sat up, his balance slightly off and his eyes still bleary from sleep.

“Shit,” he grumbled. “I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep—it was only supposed to be a small break...”

“Shh,” Sabrina hushed, tugging him back down. He didn’t fight it, too tired as he settled back in, arms wrapping around her. “Leave it for the evening.”

“But I have so much to do,” he argued. “And you did that thing with my hair. You knew what you were doing.”

“I couldn’t help it,” she replied, smiling and smoothing back his hair again as though to make a point. “Your hair is really soft.”

“Mm,” he hummed, making no attempt to get up again as he reached for the throw blanket that was tossed over the back of the couch so that he could cover both of them. “Play another episode, Spellman.”

#ask bun #writing prompt #nabrina fics #and that's the last one!#Anonymous

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mysterywheeze · 4 years

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top 5 bfu episodes: can be both true crime and supernatural

this is gonna be a toughie (and i’m mostly basing this on pure personal preference and history with the ep) but here goes...

SPN

5. the toxic woman (after watching this episode i brought it up to my chem teacher. as it turned out, he’d heard about the toxic woman case! and i asked him if we could talk about it in class later in the year. we never got anywhere near that level of advanced chemistry in class but i like to think that we shared a bonding moment that day.) 4. annaliese michel (in a series full of quotations and stock photos, it is nice to hear authentic audio from a the scene of an old case) 3. bigfoot: the convincing evidence (it’s a cryptid episode! those are always great) 2. lizzie borden (i was a massive bordenhead growing up. of course it appeals to me. also, it’s a double-whammy of an unsolved murder and ghost-hunting) 1. 3 horrifying cases of ghosts and demons (i mean... could it be anything else?)

5. jack the ripper (i do love how they had a fuck-ton of suspects and most of them were plausible. you can’t say that for a lot of true crime eps. also... it’s jack the ripper. it’s the unsolved murder case. 4. poisoned pill murders (a very interesting case. also, this was the first episode that i saw right when it came out, so it’s kinda my milestone from “watches this show casually” to “actively follows it”) 3. JFK (sometimes you wanna hear about some small-town crime or an obscure little case. but sometimes you wanna go big or go home) 2. d.b. cooper (a fun ep for an enigmatic guy. also, the line “i’m a mystery man, give me a bourbon” was where i got half my url from!) 1. the axeman (i think this was the first BFU episode i ever watched all the way through. it’s got a special place in my heart. also it has razor boy)

#apologies for taking so long to get to this #it's funny - i wasn't expecting so many of my favorites to be old episodes #i think everything except jack the ripper is from 2017 or earlier #maybe it's nostalgia?#idk man #chaoticeddie #answered

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lefaystrent · 5 years

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Kid Logan au pt.3

Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides

Pairings: none

Summary: After Logan wakes up to find himself to be eleven-years-old again, he tries to make the best of his life and attends high school. But he doesn’t do much to hide the fact that he’s an adult stuck in a kid’s body and his new friends are becoming suspicious.

Notes: You can find the first two parts here.

In the days that follow since they became friends with Logan, he does not get any less weird.

“You know what I just realized is a positive to being a child?” Logan says one morning out of nowhere. They’re all loitering around outside the school, waiting for the bell to ring for the first class of the day.

“What’s that?” Virgil asks.

“I have no obligation to do taxes.” He smiles, entirely too satisfied with the epiphany. “I’m a dependent.”

They all watch him with bemused expressions. He’s sitting on a bench swinging his legs slightly back and forth, sipping contently from a thermos that Virgil is convinced is filled with black coffee.

Virgil doesn’t know anything about taxes or why the fuck this eleven-year-old boy is so happy to not have to do them, but that’s just one of the many weird things that makes up who Logan is.

And who Logan is has quickly become the campus cryptid.

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Patton remarks. It’s the end of the day, students are pouring out the doors, and the three of them have met up at Roman’s car. Once again, they’re talking about their newest little friend.

“Think about it,” Virgil implores as he tosses his bag into the backseat. “There’s so many little things adding up that he’s—” He waves his hands around vaguely as if it’s supposed to mean something. To him it does, at least.

“Just a kid mature beyond his years and finds it hard to connect with people because of it?” Patton asks, brow raised.

“Sounds fake but okay.”

“I’m kinda with Virgil on this one, Padré,” Roman surprises Virgil by saying. Or maybe not so surprising, because every time Logan makes one of those kinds of comments, Roman’s the first to look at Virgil to confirm if he’s hearing this absurd kid right. Roman leans back against his car, arms crossed. “Go on with your theories, Lame Dawson. I know you’ve come up with something in that conspiracy theorist brain of yours.”

Virgil pushes up the sleeves of his hoodie to ready himself. “Okay. So far? There’s only two possible scenarios.”

“The first one being?”

“Aliens.”

“You always think it’s aliens.”

“I haven’t been proven wrong yet.”

“But you’ve never been proven right either—”

“And then my second theory!” Virgil talks over Roman. “He’s a vampire and his thermos wasn’t actually filled with coffee but with blood.”

“Now Virge, you don’t have to B negative about this,” Patton giggles, making the others snort.

“Who said I was negative about it?” Virgil smirks. “This is freaking cool.”

“I thought we agreed that this was creepy?” Roman says.

“Yeah, but creepy’s kinda my thing, dude.”

“Logan isn’t creepy,” Patton disputes. “He’s just trying his best.”

“So you think he’s just a totally normal kid?”

“Oh no, he’s definitely weird.” Patton nods. “But even if he’s not human, I still think he’s trying his best. And like Virge said, how cool would it be to have a vampire/alien friend?”

“I’m placing my bets elsewhere,” Roman disagrees. “Maybe he’s a changeling.”

“A what?”

“You know, a fairy left in the place of a human child.”

“Yeeeeah,” Virgil says convincingly, completely unconvinced. “I’m sure that’s it, Princey. Fairies.”

“If I didn’t scoff at your alien/vampire theories, then you’re not allowed to scoff at mine!”

“But you did!”

“Ugh, whatever,” Roman huffs at him and turns to Patton. “What do you think, Pat? Who do you think is closer to the truth?”

Patton shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe Logan’s just a time traveling old man trapped in a kid’s body.”

“Let’s be realistic here.”

They carry on, about to pile into the car when they spot the kid himself walking down the sidewalk. Patton hollers out to him, waving his arms back and forth spastically until Logan would have to be deaf and blind not to notice him. He adjusts his course and approaches them.

“Hello, is there anything I can do for you?” Logan asks. “Preferably before your arms detach from your shoulders with your wild swinging, Patton.”

“Do you need a ride, kiddo?” Patton asks, chipper.

Logan glances at Roman who stands at the driver’s side door, keys in hand. It’s one of those times when he shows signs of being too sharp for an eleven-year-old, because Virgil can see him quickly concluding that Roman is the driver and that their interactions are still tense even after Roman accepted being friends. It’s not really Patton’s place to be offering a ride when it’s Roman’s car.

“That won’t be necessary.”

“You sure? Because we were gonna hang out for a while if you want to join us.”

Logan shifts his weight to the other foot and adjusts the straps of his bookbag. He’s glancing between Roman and Virgil and pointedly not at Patton. He clears his throat. “Perhaps another time. At the moment I’m busy with a project of mine that I plan to work on today.”

“Oooh, what kind of project?” Patton asks.

For the past week, he’s been asking Logan a lot of questions, wanting to learn more about him. During a chance moment alone with Virgil, Logan had asked, “Is he acting this way because he sees me as a child and is attempting to humor me?”

“Nah, that’s just Patton being Patton,” Virgil responded. Logan didn’t ask anything further on the matter, but he did become a bit more obviously self-conscious whenever Patton questioned him. His answers would become softer at being the center of attention and he’d tug at the end of his too-large tie.

Logan’s tugging on his tie right now. “It’s not for class and nothing you’d probably be interested in, I assure you. Just a personal project of mine. But if you must know, I’m researching theorems on time travel.”

Virgil and Roman turn to look at Patton fearfully. Patton just stands there with a pale face.

“Oh . . . that’s uh . . . that’s really cool, kiddo.”

“Indeed, I find the subject utterly fascinating.”

“Sowhat’sthefuturelike?” Patton mutters really fast.

“What?”

“Nothing!” he laughs to cover it up. He walks up to Logan and ruffles his hair. “Say, we should watch ‘Doctor Who’ sometime!”

Logan lets out a disgruntled grunt, batting Patton’s hand away. “Your affection is noted and unwelcome.” Then what Patton said seems to catch up with him. His hands freeze in his hair that he’d been trying to fix. “Wait, did you say ‘Doctor Who’?”

“Yeah, have you heard of it?”

“Heard of it?!” Logan practically screeches, and suddenly he’s far more animated than they’ve ever seen him. “It’s only one of the greatest shows in the history of television! If there was ever a series that didn’t deserve to be canceled, it was that one.”

“It was canceled?” Roman asks, looking at the others for an answer because he isn’t that into the show.

“No?” Virgil says in confusion. He looks at Logan, brow raised. “It’s still ongoing.”

Before Logan can explain himself, a car rolls by, stopping by them.

“There’s my high school son!” a woman yells out the window.

Logan spins around on his heel to scream in a high pitch, “Mother!”

There are other students in the area who start paying attention, but that doesn’t deter the woman. She has a big grin on her face as she waves out the window. “Hi honey! Is my high school son making high school friends?”

“Your repetitive reference to me as being in high school is unnecessary, thank you!”

“That’s really your mom?” Roman asks lowly to Logan. It is kinda hard to believe. She seems like a Patton-type, bright smiles and extroverted demeanor the opposite of Logan’s.

Logan huffs indignantly. “Yes. She has not gotten over the fact that I skipped three grades and uses every chance she can get to brag about me. It’s excessive.”

“But you like it, don’t you,” Patton teases lightly, making Logan’s face go red.

With no other prompting needed, Roman waves back at the woman. “Hello, Miss Sanders! We are most certainly your high school son’s high school friends.”

“What are you doing?” Logan hisses. “You’re just going to further enable her!”

“Hey there!” Patton calls to her next. “You have a wonderful son!”

“Not you too! Virgil, please, some assistance—”

“S’up, Logan’s mom,” Virgil greets her, throwing out a lazy peace sign.

She seems about ready to cry. She looks at her son, voice thick with emotion. “I’m so proud of you Logey-wogey.”

“Logey-wogey?” Patton gasps. Stars blossom in his eyes at the nickname, and Virgil is certain that he’ll adopt the nickname as his own. As it is, he’s reaching out to hug Logan who shrugs him off in embarrassment.

“I will pay you to forget you heard that,” Logan says.

Roman’s smile is full of sharp teeth. “Not a chance, Logey-wogey~.” Then he turns to his mother. “Miss Sanders, we were just in the middle of inviting your son to our weekly movie-marathon night. Would it be alright if he joins us?”

“What are you doing? This is kidnapping.”

“Is it really kidnapping if we have parental consent?” Virgil ponders. Logan sends him a glare, and to be honest Virgil feels a bit guilty. It’s a surprise to hear Roman pushing to have Logan join them, but Virgil can’t deny that he’s become infinitely more curious to figure out the kid than he was ten minutes ago.

“Oh my gosh, yes!” his mother agrees enthusiastically. “Logan honey, you go hang out with your high school friends, okay? I love you!”

And with that she drives away. Logan tries running after her car but his short legs aren’t quick enough. He stands in the dust left behind, mouth gaping.

“Wow, that was easy,” Roman muses. “Lucky we aren’t really kidnappers.”

“I don’t think he can really tell the difference at the moment,” Virgil observes.

“Logan?” Patton asks in concern, hovering over where Logan has fallen down to the ground on his back, defeated. Virgil doesn’t know where he got it, but Patton starts poking Logan’s cheek with a stick. “Logan? Lo? Logey-wogey?”

“Yeet me into the sun, I beg of you.”

Tag list: @spectralheartt @a-pastel-pan @notalwaysthevillian @rose-gold-roman @ijustrealizedhowdumbmynamewas @katie-the-noble-fangirl @yourroyalydramaticanxiousness @aroundofapplesauce @merlybird500 @beach-fan @jemthebookworm @whats-going-on-kiddos @randomsandersides @gamerfreddie @unring-this-bell @that-royal-ravenclaw @analogicallythinking @lilygold23 @under-the-blue-moonlight @broadwaytheanimatedseries @just-fic-me-up @joyful-milkshake-observation @absolutesandersidestrash @midnightmagi (let me know if you want to be added or removed from this story’s tag list)

#sanders sides #logan #logan sanders #virgil #virgil sanders #roman #roman sanders #patton #patton sanders #platonic lamp #kid logan au #funny #writing #fanfiction

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thenixkat · 5 years

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Animorphs notes 7.5 or Megamorphs 1

Book 7.5/ Megamorphs 1

Why does this format of an animorph book exist? Aren’t we supposed to be under the impression that the kids are writting diaries or someshit like that?

Starts with Jake

Again, not seperating the yeerks from their hosts is a very bad mentality to have

Also aparently Ax doesn’t get to be an animorph

ALso Ax skipps out on a lot of meetings. Granted the kids could show some consideration for Ax and meet in the woods

Rachel is going on a two day gymnastics trip

Tobias is an asshole and continues to over anthropomorphise animals. I havent forgoten him sneaking into Cassie’s family’s barn to eat the patients

...Cassie teh crow can and will go where ever it pleases after it recovers. Heck it might hunt Tobias down and mob him out of spite

Melissa’s going on the trip

Wow Jake, rude. Tobias can have romantic relationships even if his body remains a bird

Marco’s the kinda jerk to crash parties he wasnt invited to

Full moon

Cassie is psychic. WHich honestly I don’t doubt.

Rachel part

Are they… all going to give intros?

Not that Jake is without his own level of stupidity. I mean, he was right there with us,

walking through an isolated, abandoned construction site that night. Wasn't the smartest

thing we ever did.

I’ve not forgotten the flea thing from book 2

Rachel gets books for Tobias

...damnit Rachel you can’t just show up at a camp without letting peolple know ahead of time. They need warning gto make sure they have room and food for you

I was close to Tobias's territory when I spotted something interesting below me. It was a

deer-like animal, running swiftly through the trees. When I focused my laser-intensity eagle

sight, I could see the semihuman torso and face and the deadly scorpion tail.

Aximili

ANd this is why large predatory bird morphs aren’t great. Rachel getting mobbed

A bunch of small birds take down Rachel

Marco part

Honestly Marco sounds like some of the jackass class clowns I had in school, Darlene’s not wrong to not invite him

The kids ARE all going to give the intro talk

Marco that is a very confusing way to talk

Ax is right, this is dishonorable

That poor mouse

Ax has parasites. ANd Marco is extorting? him to help him be a creep b4 he’d give Ax medicine for them. Dick

Technically speaking none of the kids actually knows how the morphing tech works

When I was done acquiring the mouse I handed it to Ax. He had to use both hands to hold

on. Andalite arms and hands are kind of puny. Of course, they also have four legs, and

those are pretty strong. I mean, Ax can haul when he wants to. I'll bet he could do forty

miles an hour.

Baby arms

So the reason Marco wasn’t invited IS b/c he’s a dick

A bunch of jays took out Rachel

Part Jake? What?

That whent jake> rachel>marco>jake? Bullshit

You don’t have to go to a party if you don’t want to people

Why couldn’t this part be narrated by Cassie? She’s fucking here!

Jake is fucking ready, fight or flight

Marco and Ax are very lucky none of the kids or adults at the party try to crush them to death

Huh, Marco and Ax are lucky that none manages to crush them to death

Jake is ready to cuss the shit outta Marco

Accidental human pileup saves Jake’s life

Part… Marco? BULSTIT SHILSHSTSOSHS

AX IS RIGHT THERER LET HIM NARRATE YOU THINDER CUNTS

I hate this human centric bs and it fucking leaves out Cassie

Marco,,, cats are very good at NOT being seen. Ambush predators

Marco is a dick

Then I saw it. It was gigantic! Enormous! A creature that seemed to be made of nothing but

teeth and blades and destruction. It was like twenty Hork-Bajir glued together and given

dragon wings.

heh

Poor Darlene’s family

It looked down at us with a dozen weird eyes that seemed to be stuck here and there at

random. It stared at us the way I'd seen Tobias stare at his prey.

Part, sigh, Rachel

Rachel has amnesia

Ns somehow started morphing while unconcious

If you wonder if yer a freak and are that startled with yer apperance, then no that’s not always how you were

If you need to concentrate to morph, how’d u managed that far with a heavy concussion/unconciousness?

Part Tobias

Damnit they are all giving the intro speech

Huh, so marco and ax coulda gotten killed twice b4 they even got to the party

Also the fuck how is the yeerks covering the wind monster

Part fucking Rachel

...why is this creature wasting so much energy instead of just flowing around the trees

Like people are seeing this shit

Finally! Part Cassie

Cassie spotted cryptid Rachel in the news

Part Rachel. WHy not just have her narrate the whole book at this point?

There’s an excaped yeerk host living in an abandoned clothing shop in the woods

Well, thaty’s not an unreasonable response for an excaped host

Rachel got some memories beaten back intio her

Oh she might be one of the people who’s yeerk starved from the actions of last book

Part fucking Jake again

The kids are gonna track down Rachel by scent

The monster found them

Part rachel

Old lady is gonna burn down the shack, with Rachel inside, b/c she’s not going back to the yeerk pool

Rachel morphs bear without concentrating or intending to or even knowing how

These bootleg books are so bad. Part Marco

They’d be dead if the creature turned back to particle form and just reformed around their bodies

Part Rachel. Really this is mostly just Rachel/Jake/Marco as narrators. No attempt at equaly splitting up the plot

I looked at the new creature. It had come to a stop, just a dozen feet away. I peered at it

with my dim bear vision. It had four legs, like a horse or a deer. But it seemed to have a

head and upper body that was almost human. And there was a tail, I was sure of that. The

tail was cocked back like a weapon ready to be fired.

Andalite

Fifteen fucking chapters in and Ax finally gets to narrate

Ax does the intro speech

Ax says he’s not an animorph

Ax doesnt like having to be the space expert

Ax tucks his tail to his back to run fast

Ax is smart enought to know when standing yer ground is a terrible idea

Ax figured out that morphing attracts the beast.

Morphing has a distinct kind of energy signature

Part jake

Andalites have a distinct scent

Ok lots of animals can harm or kill a large bear. This is turning into a raptors are mahjestick thing

Tobias assumes that Ax tried to fight the creature. Tobias doesn’t really know Ax well enough

Part Cassie

Why are they at the mall?

AGain I wouldn’t be surprised if Cassie is supposed to be psychic

You don’t mean Chapman, you mean Iniss 226

Learning about history is useful in figuring out humans and with invasion plans Cassie

Part Ax

… do andalites even have battle axes? They dont have the arms for it

Once, the Hork-Bajir were a decent, peaceful race. Then they were enslaved by the Yeerks.

Hork-Bajir are incredibly dangerous and very powerful. They stand on two legs, balanced

by a tail. Each leg ends in a foot, like an Earth bird of prey. They have two arms. There are curved blades at their knees, at their elbows, at their wrists. Blades similar to my own tail-

blade. Atop their snakelike heads are two more blades, swept forward. And their tails end in long, sharp spikes.

They are not a species you want to start a fight with. Which may be why they were such a

peaceful, even poetic, species. They had no one to fear. Until the Yeerks began to make

them into Controllers.

The series did so much retconing

Again, I like the Parting the Clouds fic so much better. At least there someone tried to figure out how to use the aura power

Veleek is the dust monster, from Saturn

So the andalite bandits being human was a solid yeerk theory

Visser 3 continues to waste good bodies

Visser 3 throew a lot of bodies into getting a veleek pet

Part Cassie

Compund eyes dont work like that

Iniss 226 knows about spy novels and thinks they’re stupid

Iniss 226 is not a dumb yeerk

Also Visser 3 is the worst boss

Part rachel

Rachel is starting to put things together

Part Marco

The kids ar eputting 2 and 2 together

Part rachel

Rachel made it back to civilization

Rachel breaks into a house for food and rest’

Some snitchy bitch called the police

Rachel the elephant says fuck the police

Part jake

The kids steal Cassie’s dad’s truck

Part rachel

The veleek chases elephant Rachel

The veleek cant pick up an elephant

Part marco

Why do they have marco drive?

Also that poor truck

Jack morphs to lure the creature’s attention

Part jake

Why did jake choose tiger for being chased?

Part rachel

Doesnt quite have her memory back but ready to help

Part ax

Ax feels like a failure of a warrior

Suddenly, one wall of my cage shimmered and became transparent. Ramonite is a metal

that can stretch open or be made clear or opaque by molecular realignment.

Nice’

Ax is also racist towards taxxons

Visser 3 is a terrible boss

Part marco

That poor truck

Why choose gorrila for a chase?>

Part rachel

Cassie tries to fill the gaps fotr rachel

Part marco

Part cassie

Cassie chooses squirlle

Bug fighters are stooting at em

Part ax

So bug fighters and shit DO have cameras

Flea ex machina

Ax morphs one of his fleas

… theres no way in hell thast theres no bugs on the andalite homeworld

Thats not what a flea mouth is like

Ax says that andalites have a shit vertical jump

Part marco

The veleek caught him

Ax is on Visser 3

Ax is having a blast fucking up Visser 3’s day

Part ax

And only then, locked together with it, was I able to see it through my weak flea eyes. It

was alive! It was a creature my own size, but with a hundred minuscule wings that beat the

air. It had antennae, but different than any seen on Earth. These antennae were covered in

tiny, upturned bowls. Like the dishes of primitive human radio telescopes. Those were the

structures it used to sense energy sources.

There were no eyes. And no mouth. But two long filaments, like strands of wire, swept

back from the front of the creature. These must be how it fed: by channeling the energy

down the wires.

The Veleek was not one creature. It was billions! It was a swarm of billions of these tiny

creatures. They had evolved into a swarm that could come together and become a

destructive entity of gnashing teeth and slicing blades. But in reality they were separate

insectlike creatures that fed on energy.

Its a swarm of navivorous bugs

Water is the veleek’s weakness

Marco and Ax jump out of the ship

Part rachel

Her memory is mostly back

Hork-bajir have foot long blades on their head, that’s impoalement’

Part marco

Fear speads up thei morphing

Part jake

Jake is grounded

The team apparently whent home without knowing if marco and ax were alive

Part cassie

Cassie is psychic and can probably see the future

Cassie comes up with a plan that only she can do

To make up for almost getting marco killed

Part tobias

So did Cassie not have a whale morph already? DIdn’t marco get one when they’d met the psychic whales?

Or am I thinking of a fanfic?

Part cassie

Cassie is awesome

Cetaceans are just canon psychic

Part tobias

Cassie is a total badass

Part cassie

Rapid fire morphing

Falling whale body slam

Part rachel

So apparently the veleek never evaporates out of the ocean at any point later?

Cassie speaks whale . Cassie is the one chosen by the whales. All hail the whale messiah

#nix meows #nix reads animorphs #animorphs

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darthstitch · 1 year

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Professor Mysterious and Professor Wet Cat

This is my take on that Dreamling post making the rounds about Hob and Dream being uni professors and that Hob is surprisingly NOT the prof who overshares and Dream is the one who inadvertently does.

Buckle up, kids, let's have some fun with this. Also, gentle reminder: NOBODY TELL NEIL. SHHHH!

This time around, Hob's using his proper name, Robert Gadling, because it's been a while since he's trotted that one out and he kinda likes the seeming rightness that the once upon a time near-illiterate medieval peasant that he'd been was now teaching at a rather prestigious university. However, he's not prone to sharing much about his personal life to his students. He's still warm and friendly, but he's cautious about letting Certain Things slip.

Hilariously, the things that do slip end up making him everyone's favorite university cryptid. Sometimes Hob slips into Middle English when he's stressed or emotional. Sometimes he might use odd old-fashioned sounding oaths like "God's wounds," "Holy Jesu," and "Mother Mary's teats" (this last one sends everyone into spasms of laughter).

The literature department ADORES him because they can always drag Professor Gadling off to read Chaucer in its original form or even medieval French, his pronunciation perfect and dead on. Shakespeare is the only thing he'll flat out refuse to read because in any universe this Fuzzy Blue Alien's gonna write, his hatred of the Bard is the stuff of legend.

The students universally agree that Professor G is basically British Indiana Jones, because he's also known to have lethal expertise in medieval weapons. There's been more than a few fantasies inspired during the booked-solid outdoor demonstrations where he works in tandem with the other medieval history professors to show everyone how medieval weapons worked. Apparently, his favorite weapons are the longbow, the bastard sword and daggers.

Obviously, this all leads to Professor Gadling being the campus crush and his relationship status is a matter of hot speculation even if he's made it perfectly clear he was not about to violate his ethical standards or position as a teacher. It still doesn't stop the fevered fantasies of more than a few grad students, though. But that's all they're gonna get.

And then, there's the new literature teacher, Professor T. Murphy.

To everyone's disappointment, Professor Murphy is only going to be at the university for a limited series of lectures. Word of mouth spread fast, and his classes were now booked solid and he was going to be asked to return, once his apparently very busy schedule is cleared.

7. Of course, he's an instant campus crush, with the "Goth angel" looks, the Edward Cullen jokes are definitely flying and there's more than a few students melting after they heard him speak. "That Voice" is always referred to in capital letters and it's well deserved.

8. "Campus crush" turns to "Official Precious Blorbo" once the students all discover that behind the whole regal and imperious Goth Prince vibe that he gave off, was an adorkable darling wet cat who was just completely gone on "my beloved." If he's discussing a love sonnet or poem, there's definitely going to be a reference to "my beloved" or "my dearest" or "my love." It's never sickeningly cloying and the sweet tiny little smile that takes over his normally serious face is like sunshine. The kilig feels are real.

9. He's also forever worrying that he's not enough for "my dearest" as he's rather painfully aware "of my lack in human graces" - which everyone translates to "OMG HELP I HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS OF A SCRUNKLY WET CAT." He frets that he's somehow failing his beloved, who is infinitely sweet and thoughtful and caring and that Professor Murphy is the selfish one, really, who doesn't deserve the man.

10. The students, of course, immediately ADOPT him. Tesco ice cream runs are done, YouTube videos on cooking and invites to kitchens are extended so Professor Murphy could practice making something that is "not a catastrophic culinary disaster unfit for human consumption." There was a session on the language of flowers, which everyone had enjoyed. For a while, flowers with significant meanings were presented to sweethearts and lovers all over the uni. There's an unforgettable after-class meeting in which the craft-inclined students teach Professor Murphy how to knit and crochet and he was really rather proud of the scarf he had created.

11. Professor Murphy's raven had been rather entertained playing with the yarn scraps. The students learn that the raven's name is Matthew.

12. And then, dashing, mysterious Professor Gadling finally peeks into Professor Murphy's class.

"The things I do for you, myne owne hertis rote. Bloody Shaxberd."

"But you do read him so very well, my love." And there it was, that tiny, soft, sweet smile, now aimed in Professor Gadling's direction.

Professor Gadling sighs and puts a hand over his chest. There's a very familiar scarf draped over his neck. "God's wounds, dove, warn your poor, long-suffering husband before you do these things."

"What 'things,' dearest?"

Professor Gadling waves his arms helplessly. The scarf slips a little, offering a tantalizing view of a purplish mark on his throat. "That thing!" He looks appealingly at the students, who are now all stifling their delighted giggles. "Look at him! My heart can only take so much!"

And that was how everyone found out that Professors Gadling and Murphy were actually happily married.

Incidentally, the Shakespeare reading, in which both professors took part, was a true kilig apocalypse. Instant campus legend.

#dreamling #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dream x hob #professor dream #professor gadling #i crack what i want #history and literature class cryptids #pffthahahaha #shhh nobody tell neil

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fucksis-thotmonia-a · 5 years

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rules: answer 20 questions then tag 20 (give or take) followers you wanna get to know better!

tagged by: nobody :) tagging 20 people: oof here we go y’all; @fin-the-fusion @harmoniaroyallineage @musesbymeri @volcalder @hokumaka @musnatchii @chcsxn @elxtricblue @sylveonnesmuses @gladionsgrownup @ask-alolasguardians @avesoblivion @hel-angelos @bossbones @nisfornatural

name: Faith nickname: None? Y’all can call me Faith-Sama I guess gakhadgn (this was kind of a nickname of mine but not many use it) height: 5′10 ft (I’m a very tall cryptid everyone) nationality: American favourite fruit: I had to look this up but COCONUT favourite season: Autumn favourite smell: The odd scent that my house has because it’s comforting to me favourite colour(s): Black, red, silver/gray, White favourite animals: Snakes, Baby chickens tea, coffee, hot cocoa: ALL THREE average hours of sleep: Sometimes it’s 12+ sometimes it’s a strong 4 dogs or cats: can I go with neither? dream trip: I want to go to Ireland! when my blog was created: November 4th, 2018 (IT FEELS LIKE IT’S BEEN LONGER) # of followers: 28 random fact: I want to become an author! favorite food: Salad; I like to cronch some good lettuce favourite t.v. show: Whose Line Is It Anyway? favourite movie: Uhhh?? The Hitman’s Bodyguard favourite vine: I CAN’T CHOOSE sexuality: Asexual gender: Female favourite book series: OOF UM I’ll go with A Series of Unfortunate Events favorite video game(s): Any Pokemon game (My first Pokemon game wasn’t even a main series one it was Pokemon Conquest because my parents didn’t know the difference but I LOVED it}, Tekken Tag 2, Resident Evil 6 & 7, GTA5, etc. favourite subject: Math and History {which is funny considering I want to be an author; I absolutely HATE English classes) favourite fandoms: Pokemon, Naruto favourite superhero: Iron Man! I would’ve put Deadpool but he isn’t really a superhero guys or girls: neither celebrity crush: uhh Ryan Reynolds i guess last time i cried: Probably a few days ago I can’t remember hair color: Dark brown eye color: Blue what I should be doing: Getting ready for school tomorrow, thinking of a topic for my English paper, ENJOYING MYSELF?? Sucks to suck fellas

#A Wild Thot Appears [ Mun ]#Faith You Thot [ Shitpost ]#{ ooc;; }

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redrobin-detective · 6 years

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BNHA Fic Recc List

Ok, so here's my fic recc list (AO3 exclusive) for Boku no hero academia/My hero academia. It's in no order but I order I bookmarked them. I'll probably come back and make edits when I find new stories.

MS- Manga Spoilers, so anything after season 2 in the anime. DFO- Dad for one story

Smile Again AU by Sevi007- a series of stories about mostly Dad Might and Izuku learning to work together and be a little family. Adorable. MS. Platonic/family pairings.

A riddle to guess if you can by PitViperOfDoom- All Might gives the new Number One a piece of his mind. No pairings.

Breach by ForgedObsidian- Toshinori's injury cause bad days but this one just might end up finishing up for good. MS. Family parings.

Solar Flare by jinkiess- The story that spawned my headcanon that young Toshinori was a bitter, angry young man. It's short but man I love this idea for Quirkless Young Might. No pairings.

Getting to Know You by TaurusVersant- The members of 1-A reflect on Midoriya Izuku and their daily interactions. Great characterization and I'm a sucker for people appreciating my boy. MS. Platonic pairings.

Barology by MissAquarius- A beautiful little piece exploring the Izuku/Iida/Urakara friendship. Platonic pairings.

A Shared Consequence by GuardianLioness- The cold causes pain for both Toshinori's old bones and Izuku's injuries. Family pairings.

Reunions, Of A Sort by ForgedObsidian- All Might joins the kids on a trip to a hero museum and reminisces on old heroes with a stranger. MS. No pairings.

Get Well Soon by brickboat- Jirou sometimes eavesdrops on her teachers while bored in her class and hears some interesting things about All Might. Really good, has 2 sequels if you liked. MS. No pairings.

Off Beat by ForgedObsidian- Jirou hears something wrong with All Might's heart. No pairings.

United in the Storm by theslytherinpaladin- The Villain Alliance becomes interested in Izuku and makes a statement by killing his mother leaving Izuku lost and alone. AU. Character death. No pairings.

Out of Character by PitViperOfDoom- Aizawa sees no problem with Endeavor talking to his son after the license exam but Midoriya seems worried. Dadzawa to the rescue. MS. No pairings.

count your blessings not your flaws by PitViperofDoom- probably my favorite Tododeku oneshot. The idea of Izuku thinking that Todoroki would joke about liking and Todoroki thinking that Izuku laughed in his face about his feelings hurts but then becomes sweet comfort

by you gotta get up at least once more by simkjrs- AU where Izuku follows the OPM training regimen and accidently becomes stronger than should be possible for a quirkless nobody. Sounds like crack, is actually about character development and Izuku's incredible perseverance. MS. A couple of hinted pairings (ShinDeku, TodoDeku etc) but nothing outright.

Yesterday Upon The Stair by PitViperOfDoom- Izuku is given One For All but he forgets to mention to All Might that he isn't quirkless and has the ability to see dead people. Amazing story that twists canon with the addition of Izuku's ghostly friends and enemies. Good depiction of Bakugou's past abuse. AU. No pairings. Some graphic descriptions.

U.A Unsolved by kabukichou- a silly spin-off of YUTS where the kids at the dorm believe it's haunted by ghosts. Little do they know that it is but because Izuku lives there. Hilarious and a nice break from the stress of YUTS. AU. No pairings

United We Stand, Divided We Fall by CaptainKaruAndTheRedShirts- My favorite of the Mighty Family AU's I've read (All Might is married to Inko and Izuku's biological father). Izuku coping with his father's injury, later being outed as the Number One's son and coping with being a quirkless shame to his dad's legacy. AU. Toshinko.

One Life for Them All (If That's What It Takes) by AthanatosOra- Toshinori comes across a precocious 11 year old named Izuku and considers him for a successor. Little does he know it's actually an adult Izuku who has been sent back to his 11 year old self trying to relive his life, and maybe make a few changes. AU. Family/platonic pairings.

The thin gray line by A_ToastToTheOutcasts- All Might may have shot down his dreams of heroism but Japan's former #1 vigilante believes Izuku can make a difference. Vigilante Izuku is amazing and wow, yes, so good. AU. No pairings.

know what i've made by the marks on my hands by simkjrs- All quirks are the result of guardian spirits. Izuku is the only one who can see them but he really wishes he couldn't. Sassy Izuku ftw, I love this so much. AU. No pairings.

Mr. Yagi by AoiMikans and Swiftwidget- the men and women who work at Might Tower have come to adore the tall sickly man who serves as All Might's personal secretary. Precious to the max. Minor Tsukauchi/Toshinori.

Erased Potential by theslytherinpaladin- Aizawa has enough going on trying to teach his lazy students but the quirkless middle school who showed up at his door, begging to be trained, shows potential. So so good. AU. Dadzawa.

Daymare by IntrospectiveInquisitor- Izuku lives his whole life pretending to be quirkless because it's better than acknowledging his nightmarish quirk. AU. Platonic pairings and hinted KiriDeku. Warning for graphic horror descriptions and violence.

break your bones not your promises by PitViperofDoom- Look I don’t even like fantasy but I really love Pit’s approach here. It’s a blend of modern life with the fantatsical realm all stuffed into bnha world. The characterization is really good and the worldbuilding captivating. AU

Atimy by milky- Izuku and Yaoyorozu hear a noise in the middle of the night and check it out. The real horror of the story is what's revealed in the notes at the end. MS. No pairings.

Moebius by PitViperOfDoom- Izuku, Urakara, Tsuyu, Iida and Todoroki head to a seaside town for a rest but end up caught in the midst of a deadly attack that repeats itself over and over. Minor Tododeku.

i'm proud to say i got you by taizi- Iida takes notice of the way Midoriya stutters and flinches and draws some unhappy conclusions about the life his friend lived before Yuuei. I'm a sucker for 'Izuku's past abuse is acknowledged and refuted' stories. MS. Platonic pairings.

It's Spelled 'Trader' Not 'Traitor' by JackobolTrades- Izuku is taken in by All For One and given his quirk. Instead of using it for villainy, he sneaks off and opens a quirk trading shop because even AFO couldn't steal his desire to help people. AU. Brief/Unwilling Toga/Deku.

starry eyed and history has its eye on you and another face in the crowd and know who you are and will I ever be more than I’v always been? and who lives, who dies, who tells your story and all the love i dreamt by aloneintherain- beautiful and amazing. Look into class 1-A 10 years in the future as heroes and friends. Various stories told through the eyes of the students and media. Wonderful beyond measure, can't reread enough. Tododeku, Kiribaku, Jiroruzo.

home is just a room full of my safest sounds by aloneintherain- Izuku and Todoroki end up in a cuddle buddy sleeping arrangement for various reasons but end up really coming to enjoy the peace they feel together, super cute.

Conversations with a Cryptid by AMournfulHowlInTheNight- After his capture, Izuku begins having weekly meetings with All For One to extract information but can he really handle the revelations? AU. DFO. MS. No pairings. Izuku's brains get the spotlight and hints at one of my favorite theories

Kidnapping of a Cryptid by AMournfulHowlInTheNight- The sequel to the above story. I can't really give any details without spoiling but this whole series is amazing and I recc it so much. I talk way too much about it but it's so good. AU. MS. Pairing I can't mention

Aphelion by ForgedObsidian- Izuku is kidnapped as a middle schooler by AFO due to his quirklessness. Luckily Izuku isn't alone in captivity and has the sickly Mr. Yagi to keep him company. If only All Might hasn't been missing for several years. AU. No Pairings

Patience and I Would Understand and You Found Me (on a summer breeze) and Guide to Getting Your Teacher a Date and Little Talks by yaanchan- The best 'Aizawa takes in Shinsou' fics I've ever read. I have? so many emotions. Made me ship Erasermic. AU. MS. Erasermic. Try, Try Again is mostly in this series but Shinsou gets turned into a 4 year old.

Switched and Scattered by kazzarole- The typical bodyswap story but it's really well-done also absolutely hilarious. You'd think it'd be easier to impersonate each other when they're crushing so hard. Tododeku.

Conventional Taste by SoAshamed- Todoroki's grandparents are in town and he'd wish to avoid them so he agrees to go with Midoriya to QuirkCon, Japan's biggest hero convention. Queue Deku being an overenthusiastic fanboy and Todoroki being content just watching him. MS. Mild Tododeku

count your blessings, not your flaws by PitViperofDoom- Izuku has only ever been confessed to as a joke so when Todoroki says he loves him, Izuku can't bring himself to believe it. Tododeku.

a beacon in the dark by Nohaijachi- At 4 years old, Izuku woke up one day unable to see. Completely blind, Izuku does his best to survive in a world with both a disability and a supposed diagnosis of quirklessness. Really good guys, updates very often. Family pairings.

Re-Examined Archives by beachbb- 15 year old Izuku is thrust by a quirk 10 years into the future only to find out he was murdered several years previous by a serial killer. Now it’s up to Izuku, plus friends from the past and future to unravel the cold case and maybe prevent it from happening. MS. No pairings.

Save The Last Dance by Lesetoilesfous- Based off the Fantasy AU ending, Izuku lives in the town of Silvia, home to the great All Might. As the All Might’s successor, it is his duty to confront the evil storm that threatens the kingdoms. With his friends, and a few alluring strangers, they set off on a journey to defeat the evil. AU. Tododeku, Momojirou, Tsuychako, Bakushima, Erasermic. I may be missing some but everyone is gay so there.

Izuku is (Afraid) by sleepingugly- this fic haunts me, it’s SO good and it just put me on edge the entire time and I couldn’t stop reading because the tension was mounting and driving me nuts. Izuku is haunted by the ocean, he attends quirk counselling for a quirk he should have but doesn’t, something sinister is rising. AU. No pairings.

Choices by Fayah- Another AFO is Hisashi fic in which Inko dies in childbirth due to Izuku activating the FAO quirk during birth. Hisashi raises his rambunctious boy alone, all while feeding his son stolen quirks and avoiding an investigation into his activities. DFO. Love it.

Fun at Hero Con by wolfsrainrules- Pro hero Izuku at hero convention where he’s so busy being a fan he forgets that he’s disgustingly famous. Any fic in which Izuku goes to hero cons and gives his fans heart attacks is the best fic.

Viridescent by darkfire1220- Izuku’s dad is a well-known villain who passed onto his Izuku his very distinctive green fire quirk. All Might still chooses to pass on OFA but Izuku needs to overcome his hatred of his quirk, his father and deal with everyone else’s suspicions. AU. Some Izuku/Toga

Future’s History by Neehl- I LOVE THIS FIC. It’s a super long shot but man, everything about it is stellar. An examination of captainkirkk’s OFA is known AU where everyone knows about All Might’s ability to pass on his quirk. It centers around Izuku trying to keep under the radar then later embracing his fame as the Ninth OFA user. AU

From Muddy Waters by HLine- Another dad for one fic, Izuku and Inko are trying to hide from AFO who they know is a supervillain. Izuku gets into Yuuei by hiding his AFO quirk behind a normal strength enhancing quirk. Someone give this boy a break, he just wants to be a hero and is so stressed out. DFO. AU

Hero Class Civil Warfare by RogueDruid- man what do I even say about this fic? The hero classes are split into hero/villain teams for a 3 day exercise to test strategy and teamwork, Bakugou the hero leader and Izuku the villain leader. Our green bean turns his brain to wickedness and the heroes sure are glad they got to Midoriya before a villain claimed him. Now has a sequel Hero Class Danger Days

Do What You Will, If That’s What You Want by stanzas- After a few years of being a pro hero, Todoroki, the #5 hero, retires suddenly to follow a new path. He finds himself growing closer to Izuku who is supportive and all too adorable. Terrible description but its really, really good. Tododeku. Momojirou.

Something Borrowed by ThisCat- Izuku has the ability to borrow people’s quirks as long as he is looking at them. He rarely uses his quirk bc it frightens other people but still decides to try and be a hero, applying and getting into Yuuei and working to use his power for good. AU. Lovely idea well executed.

journey to the past by aloneintherain- do you want to cry actual tears and throw up from feels?? This is the fic for you. Izuku has been attacked by villains his entire life but was always saved by mysterious pro heroes who seemed to know a lot about him. He never understood until he reached Yuuei and saw those same heroes as teenagers. I ugly cry every time I read.

Bloom in Winter by e_va- Izuku was taken by his father at a young age used used his insightful analysis for villainy. Izuku is forced to go along with this for years until, at 14, he’s enrolled at Yuuei to be a spy. He’s always wanted to be a hero and now he’s forced to betray his idols. Save this child. AU

Curse of the anime protagonist by masterdipster- Izuku has a quirk that allows him to sense when people are danger and rush towards them, it’s perfect for hero work, if only he wanted to be a hero. Thought this was crack? psych, it’s actually really heartfelt, hilarious with some stellar writing. AU

Victim of Circumstance by Chalcet- quirkless, orphaned and homeless, Izuku lives on the bad side of town acting as a vigilante to protect his crime ridden city the heroes overlook. He begins training to be a hero to try and change the system from the inside out. This boy, is amazing. AU

i am cold, can you hear me by midoizuku- Todoroki runs across a boy at a hero fight and soon realizes he’s stumbled upon All Might’s illegitimate child. They strike up an odd friendship as Todoroki view Izuku as both a potential rival and someone who can maybe understand his situation. AU. Going towards Tododeku.

Known Variables by pockettramblr- Another OFA is known AU fic which explores Izuku gaining the legacy quirk and how having other students and teachers in the know affects his early experiences at Yuuei. AU

Cardiac Arrest by AMournfulHowlInTheNight- During the battle of Kamino Ward, AFO topples a building in his fight with All Might which crushes izuku to death. AFO grabs the boy’s body and flees leaving the heroes mourning but maybe izuku is going to experience something worse than death. DFO. AU

and while we’re waiting by Kemmasandi- and absolutely adorable one shot exploring the early and good days of Nana and Toshinori’s relationship as Toshi grows from a small stick of a boy to a giant young man with enough power and heart to save the world.

Diametrically Opposed by Golden Wooly and Murky Muse- Most likely DFO story in which Izuku wants to be a hero and thinks he can when AM gives him OFA but his over-protective father sometimes gets in the way. DFO.

The Roots the Clutch by Laquearia- Pro hero Deku tries to stay in touch with old friend Todoroki even after he moves to New York and gets married but Shouto still carries a torch for his oldest friend and first crush. SO much angst my friends, so much goddamn angst. Future AU. Tododeku.

I’ll carry the secrets, you carry by the umbrella by ArgentCross- Todoroki starts to notice there’s something weird about Izuku and his quirk and decides to investigate. Also may be realizing that he’s got feeling for his friend at the same time. Tododeku.

Subject: A Comprehensive Report by BonesofBirdWings- AU where young Izuku realizes he can’t be a hero and interns with Nighteye as a hero analyst and shows off his heroic spirit by helping solve crimes with heroes and the police. A fascinating look at Izuku’s strategic mind plus the very hands off writing style interspaced by news articles and interviews is magnificent. AU.

One Shot Wok by AMournfulHowlInTheNight- A crack AU born in the discord where future Izuku is transported back to his younger self and decides to take care of business by wrecking the LOV and other assholes with a Wok. AFO would be proud if he weren’t confused and terrified. AU. DFO.

The Long Way Around by redrobin1989- casually adding by own story cause why not? Izuku never meets All Might during the sludge monster incident but is inspired anyway to become Japan's first quirkless hero. Slow burn, lots of OCs. AU. MS. No pairings.

#boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha fics #fic reccs #there's probably more but these are the ones in my favorites #I'l probably keep adding to this list as I find more stories #rathr then make a new one

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cyanochic · 6 years

Text

Podcasts Masterpost!

Update #2! 5/2017 version: click here :)

Okay, so I have a big obsession called podcasts. Every once and a while, I like to share a masterpost of podcasts that I listen to! I try and keep this updated or make a new post every few months or so. It’s fun to share podcasts with people but also I like to analyze my podcast listening habits.

Feel free to message me or send me asks about podcasts any time! I would love to talk podcasts with anyone!

First off, I use this wonderful app called Pocket Casts! It is a paid app ($3.99), but I’ve messed with other free apps like Stitchr and Podcast Addict and personally none of them come close to the amazingness that is Pocket Casts. I have never used iTunes for podcasts, so I can’t say anything about that.

Second off, I’m in a huge podcast hole so this is going to be a really long list. I’ll try and split it all up by genre and use a couple modifiers to show things.

italics = caught up

bold = currently listening to

underline = favorite

(parenthesis) = a secondary genre I feel is important to share

D = Daily; W = Weekly, BW = every other week, M = Monthly, Wh = Whenever?, F = Finished

World/Political News

NPR First Up - D

Trends Like These - W

NPR World Story of the Day - D

Science and Science News

Holy F**king Science (comedy) - W

Nature Podcast - W

Ologies - W

RadioLab - BWish

SciFri - W

BBC Science in Action - W

Science Solved It - W

Science… Sort Of -BW/M

Terrestrial - BW

Undiscovered - W (on a break)

History, Literature, and Media (Nonfiction)

Books Unbound (New!)

The Dollop - 2xW (Comedy)

Lore - BW (TW: horror-y stuff)

Myths and Legends - W

Our Fake History - BW

Potterless - BW (Harry Potter readthrough)

Reading Glasses - W

Stuff You Missed In History Class - 3xW

TV and Movie Rewatches

DCOMedy - M (DCOMs!!)

The Flop House - BW (movies)

The Kind Rewind - W (various)

Once More With… - Wh/On Hiatus (Buffy rewatch)

Reel Bad - W (movies)

Run. - W-ish (Doctor Who)

Miscellaneous Educational/Learning

These are edu podcasts that cover a wide range of topics or just don’t fit in other genres.

Every Little Thing - W (Variety)

Humanize Me - Wh (Culture/Philosophy)

Sawbones - W (Medical History)

Shmanners - W - (Etiquette)

Sound Matters - Wh

Weird Work - W

Comedy

Bunker Buddies - W

Dear Hank and John - W

Judge John Hodgeman - W

My Brother My Brother and Me - W

Oh No Ross and Carrie - Wh

One Bad Mother - W (Motherhood and Comedy)

Spilled Milk - W (Food Comedy)

We Have Concerns - 3xW

Lifestyle/Crafts/Etc.

Call Your Girlfriend - W

Design Life - W (Design/Motivation)

Elise Gets Crafty - 2xW

Portrait of a Freelancer - BW

Still Buffering - W

Wonderful! - W (General Happy Things)

True Crime and Weird Things (UFOs, Cryptids)

General Trigger Warning for crime, violence, death, sexual assault. Not all of these podcasts include all of these things, but it’s a good idea to be wary or check out more in depth descriptions of these podcasts if you feel you need to.

Criminal - BW

The Last Podcast on the Left - W (Extra Big TW; in depth serial killers)

My Favorite Murder - 2xW

Spirits - W (mythology, ghosts, etc)

Fiction/Drama Series

The Adventure Zone - BW (Bros playing DnD!)

The Bright Sessions - BW

The Elysium Project - Wh

Hello From the Magic Tavern - W (DnD Style Fantasy)

Mabel - W

Tanis - BW

Welcome to Night Vale - BW

Within the Wires - F

Wolf 359 - W

Some fun stats because why not

Biggest Category

Last Time: Fiction/Drama Series

This Time: Science and News

Currently Listening To and Caught Up On

Last Time:17

This Time: 20

Total Number Subscribed To

Last Time: 74

This Time: 63

That’s it for this time around! I did put these in genres myself based on my own opinions so let me know if something is weird. I’m pretty sure I got all the timelines and all of that right too so let me know if that’s weird. Again, if anyone wants to message me or send me an ask about poscasts let me know!

Last Updated: 11/4/2017

#heidi does podcasts #podcasts #I formatted this all pretty but it looks gross on mobile so sorry about that #I'll try and fix it in the morning

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himbowelsh · 7 years

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BoB + Pacific boys and their secret hobby / guilty pleasure?

Richard Winters: He enjoys knitting. It’s something he keeps to himself for a long time, but it’s a great form of stress relief for him. He gives his friends and family, scarves, hats, and even sweaters; for the longest time he claimed he bought them, but Nix is the one who finally catches Dick knitting and figures out his secret.Lewis Nixon: He freaking loves mini-golf, okay? Real golf is pretty lame, but golf with obstacle courses, flashing lights, and swimming pools? Hole in one, baby. He's a pro. He especially loves really detailed little courses -- he gets to outsmart them and they're so much fun. He's basically a big kid on the mini golf course.

Carwood Lipton: Sometimes when he doesn't have anything better to do he'll stop in on the nearest open house. He's not looking to buy anything. He just is fascinated by walking through other people's homes, seeing how they live. There's something intensely intimate about it. (He never thinks of it as creepy until the day he takes Ron with him, and Ron tries to steal whatever isn't nailed down. After that, Lip reconsiders his hobby.)

Ron Speirs: Couponing. Why is he so into it? Why is he so aggressive about it? No one knows. Ron belongs on Extreme Couponing. He’ll steal piles of newspapers, just for the coupons. He keeps books. He’s only had one coupon expire on him in his life, and set it on fire right there in the store.Harry Welsh: He’s a stress-eater, but he’s such a midnight snacker that it’s ridiculous. Sometimes he wakes up and can’t sleep, so his go-to is just cookies and milk from the fridge. (Kitty will come downstairs at two in the morning to find him hunched over the kitchen table, three cookies stuffed in his mouth, and give him a long, disappointed look.)Herbert Sobel: He has a passion for opera music. Anytime he needs to unwind he just puts on some opera, kicks his feet up, and loses himself in the music. (He never tries to sing along, of course -- he values his own eardrums.)Eugene Roe: Cooking! This isn't so much a "guilty" talent, but cooking is such stress relief for him. He knows his way around a kitchen, and is damn good at preparing anything, from his grandmother's gumbo to spaghetti that would make Perconte shed tears of joy.George Luz: Erotica novels. He doesn’t like them, and he certainly doesn’t find them sexy -- he thinks they’re damn hilarious. His favorite would have to be But... You’re A Horse.Joe Toye: He’s a compulsive cleaner. Like, if he’s in someone else’s kitchen and they’ve left used paper towels lying around, he’ll clean them up. He’ll do other peoples’ dishes for them, fold their laundy... he doesn’t know why he does it, but it’s kind of stress relief to him.Bill Guarnere: Both Babe and Fran (his best friends in the world) are in love with certain shows, and while Bill pretends not to care, it's... tough not to get sucked in. These shows range from Shondaland to Gossip Girl to daytime soap operas. (Bill is very passionate about Grey's Anatomy, okay.) He and Fran will also watch telanovelas, and get really into it.Babe Heffron: Bubble baths. If he can, he will. He'll use up all the hot water and feel not one ounce of shame.Don Malarkey: Smoothies. They're just really... really good, okay? He loves the fruity ones, but he's not above trying something with carrots or other vegetables in it. The local health food bar loves him.Skip Muck: ALIENS ARE REAL, YOU GUYS. He’s fascinated by UFOs and cases of alien sightings. His interest extends into other supernatural occurrences and cryptids too (when he visited Oregon with Don, the first thing he did was go on a hunt for Bigfoot).Joseph Liebgott: Fashion. Look, Liebgott isn’t going to go and become a male model, but he could. He doesn’t even restrict himself to men’s fashion -- he thinks some of the modern fashions are super cool. He doesn’t apply what he knows to his own wardrobe, but he’s always up to flipping through a fashion magazine if there’s nothing else around. (He secretly loves Project Runway.)Frank Perconte: Look, sometimes you just need a nap, okay? Perconte loves his naps. If the opportunity is there, he’ll seize it -- he can get comfortable any time, any where. He insists that he needs his beauty sleep because “a face like this doesn’t happen on its own!”David Webster: He's goddamn nosy. This isn't even a guilty pleasure, he just is. He loves listening in on conversations and will butt into peoples' business just because he's interested. No one wants him there, no ones sure why he's there, but good luck getting rid of him.Bull Randleman: He loves baking. Bull can make a cake that will blow your mind, and his cookies are out of this world, but his specialty is cranberry tarts. You haven't lived until you've tried one.Johnny Martin: He loves 80s work out videos. He gets really, really into them. He’s got the shorts, the sweatband, everything.Buck Compton: He’s so good at chess?? Like, it’s scary how smart he is with this game. He can outwit any opponent, and he’ll coerce people into playing against him for fun. It’s never fun -- the only one who has fun is Buck.Shifty Powers: He loves listening to scary stories. He knows how bad it is, because he'll wind up freaking himself out later, but he just LOVES them. He's especially fond of ghosts and supernatural tales. He's subscribed to all the Read-Aloud horror channels on YouTube and can spend hours listening or reading through spine-chilling tales.Floyd Talbert: He writes poetry. Like not -- not good poetry, okay. Don't think for a second it's good. He knows how awful he is, and he can't rhyme to save his life, but he likes just rambling about his thoughts on paper. Poetry is easier than keeping a diary, and he feels more artistic, even if he's super embarrassed of the poems himself. (He left one lying around once. Webster found it and it almost made him cry.)Chuck Grant: He loves watching documentaries on YouTube. It’s pretty dorky, and a little boring at first glance, but Chuck is fascinated. He’ll go from watching a show about building the pyramids to one about the possibility of life on Mars. As a result, his YouTube history is hella weird, and he knows random facts about various things.Albert Blithe: When he was a kid, his mother forced him to take tapdancing lessons. He can still tap it out like a pro. He’s got the shoes in the back of his closet and everything.

The Pacific

John Basilone: He’ll eat weird shit and enjoy it. He’ll put peanut butter on carrot sticks, ice cream on french fries, ketchup on toast. His family used to make a game out of seeing what he would eat when he was a kid. It made him sick more than a few times, but he was always willing to try it. It became a matter of pride to him not to turn a dare down. Now his mother has banned the game in their house, because she’s honestly terrified someone will dare him to eat something like rocks or spoiled food and he’ll do it.Robert Leckie: Okay, look, he’s got high standards for literature, okay? He holds his own writing to high standards. He believes that you shouldn’t publish something unless it’s good... which is why his library contains a full collection of Stephanie Meyer books, and the Fifty Shades series. He doesn’t enjoy them, but he’ll read them, because he finds them fascinating. This is actually something that got published? It makes him feel better about himself. (He refuses to claim either Team Edward or Team Jacob, but his favorite character is Rosalie.)Eugene Sledge: He really enjoys music, but he loves church hymns. It's kind of corny, he knows, but there's something so classic and beautiful about them. While he's working he'll often hum or sing to himself, and he's made a point of learning a lot of the songs he hears every Sunday morning in church.Chuckler Juergens: He loves magic tricks. He’s really, really bad at them, but he’s thrilled anytime he sees one. He can never figure them out, so he’s made it his mission to learn as much as he can. (”Is... this your card?” “No. It’s not. We’ve gone through half the deck already, none of these are my card.” “It’s got to be in here somewhere!”)Runner Conley: So, he’s a track runner, but that’s not his only workout. He loves Zumba. Zumba is his jam, okay? He gets down. He’s the only guy in his entire Zumba class, and he’s convinced that he’s the best one there. Hoosier Smith: He cheats at games. It doesn’t matter what they’re playing. Maybe it’s cards, maybe it’s board games, maybe checkers -- maybe it’s freaking Jenga. Hoosier will find a way to cheat, he will have no shame about it, and he’ll be thrilled with himself.Sid Phillips: Will try to imitate any dancing scene he sees on television. If it looks cool, he’ll try his darndest. This ranges from Gene Kelly to Patrick Swayze. He doesn’t quite have the moves, but he’ll do his best. (He tries to convince his sisters to partner up with him, but they’ve gotten good at saying no to his puppy eyes; Sledge is a different story. Sid has conned him into being the Ginger Rogers to his Fred Astaire more than once.)RV Burgin: He loves gossip. He won’t partake himself, because he is a good dude, but he knows how to listen. He’s fascinated by juicy tales, true or not. Burgie has dirt on everyone.Jay De L'eau: Broadway soundtracks. Just musicals in general. A part of him is adamant that this is nothing to be ashamed about, but he’s sure not about to tell his friends about it.Bill Leyden: He genuinely loves kids?? One of his favorite things to do is babysit his little nieces and nephews. He cusses when he has to change diapers or when he loses the kid (which has happened more times than he wants to admit) but nothing makes Bill happier than playing peek-a-boo with his sister's baby or seeing his niece giggle as he tickles her.Snafu Shelton: Non-ironically enjoys gardening. He sucks at it, and has a black thumb that could kill any living thing it touches, but he does his best. The only thing he's managed to grow successfully is a cherry tree in his backyard, along with a ton of weeds. He still brags about having "the best damn garden you ever seen".Andy Haldane: He loves extreme sports. It scares the hell out of all his friends (Eddie insists he has a death wish) but Andy has been parasailing, skydiving, and bungee jumping. His favorite thing is jet-skiing, which is less-extreme enough that he’s convinced Eddie to come with him once or twice. He’ll admit he’s a bit of an adrenaline junkie.Hillbilly Jones: He likes legos. Correction -- he loves legos. He can make AMAZING things out of legos, and spends hours working on them. It’s literally the skeleton in his basement. He doesn’t want anyone else to know, and he’s pretty sure he’d die if his friends found out (or, god forbid, Andy) but he’s very proud of everything he’s created.Manny Rodriguez: Celine Dion. No, he doesn’t want to talk about it. My Heart Will Go On does things to him, okay? He’s a fanboy.JP Morgan: He loves toy trains. He still keeps the ones he used to have as a kid, and while he doesn’t play with them anymore (really... he doesn’t) he keeps them in perfect condition and is always looking to add to his collection.

#headcanons #the pacific #band of brothers #i aint tagging all of these guys #Anonymous

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geek-patient-zero · 5 years

Text

Part 1, Chapter 6

Or: Phantomas of Notre Dame

Blood War: Masquerade of the Red Death Trilogy Volume 1

Paris—March 12, 1994

The official smile of Paris is the sneer. The rich sneer at the middle class. The middle class sneer at the poor. And they all sneer at the hordes of tourists who flood their city each year.

I’ve actually remembered these lines since I first read them as a kid. I don’t know why, beyond it being Baby’s First French Stereotype Joke, but I did. I forgot what book they were from though, so when I reread Blood War and found them again, it was a nice surprise.

Their mockery, according to the guidebooks, is part of the charm of Paris. The city, with it’s great restaurants, fabulous museums, superb monuments, and long history, breeds contempt for the lesser achievements surrounding it. The average Parisian citizen considers himself far superior to anyone from outside the city.

It’s only Paris being singled out here, but still, I want to apologize to any French readers. It isn’t going to get much better for you guys in this book. But hey, at least your capital city isn’t a gang warzone.

That attitude explains, at least in theory, the joy the natives get from telling tales of the Phantom of the Paris Opera.

Not only are Parisians assholes, but they bug you into reading their Phantom of the Opera fanfics.

There’s some cliffnotes about the story (written by Gaston Leroux, demented genius living under the Paris Opera, hideously scarred, etc.), then we learn the titular Phantom is the French equivalent of Australia’s drop bears: a made up monster they tell gullible American tourists about to fuck with them.

Parisians loved to elaborate on the fantasy for gullible tourists, saying how, though he had reportedly been destroyed, the body of Eric, the Phantom, had never been found. And that every year, a few unwary tourists to the Opera House disappeared without a trace.

It was typical malicious Parisian humor. Often, the story was accompanied with a breathless attempt to sell bootleg souvenirs such as an authentic map of the catacombs or a page from the score of the Phantom’s infamous lost opera.

Or those little Mickey Mouse paper dolls that supposedly dance to music but are just attached to a motor by an invisible string. My ma fell for that one.

I don’t know if Parisians in real life actually do this, but it wouldn’t surprise me. I hear the Louvre used to give The Da Vinci Code themed tours. This sounds more fun than that, and less soul-crushing.

I admit that I’ve never read The Phantom of the Opera. I saw the play on an elementary school field trip to Broadway, but I barely remember it. I know the book begins with an intro where Leroux claims it’s a true story, but I figured it’s a true story the way The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a true story. I looked it up anyway, just so I don’t look like an uncultured moron if I dismissed it and was wrong. Turns out, the story was inspired by a real incident at the Paris Opera where a chandelier counterweight (not the chandelier itself) fell down and killed someone. There was a crackpot theory at the time that the accident was actually an assassination attempt. That’s something I didn’t know. Guess I owe Weinberg one for getting me to learn something.

Back to the story. Parisians like to use the Phantom to fuck with tourists, but there are other stories they don’t tell them. Stories that poor shopkeepers tell each other behind closed doors like the superstitious European peasant stereotypes they pretend they aren’t. Stories that were handed down from generation to generation about unexplained disappearances plaguing the Île de la Cité (aka the place where the Notre Dame cathedral is).

Common to every narrative was the same name. A title that when said aloud could cause the most elegant Parisian to blanch in terror.

What, Quasimodo’s some kind of French cryptid too? I know the original book character wasn’t as nice as the Disney version, and he’d be an obvious candidate for a Nosferatu (or a Ravnos if you wanna be a dick) but he was hardly-

Phantomas.

Oh. Alright, yeah, different literary character, but I can go along with it.

Officially, the French Sûreté (cops, pigs, po-po, babylon) dismiss such rumors as the insane ramblings of demented poets living on the West Bank. No mention is made of a file, five inches thick, hidden deep in the files of police headquarters. Contained in it are hundreds of reports, dating back a hundred and fifty years to the time of Chief Inspector Vidocq, detailing the circumstances surrounding hundreds of disappearances in the vicinity of the famous cathedral of Notre Dame.

I bet at least one report blames Quasimodo.

One actual report is a six page article, never made public, by a historical commission about the hundreds of myths and legends surrounding the church, all connected by a ghostly figure seen in the Cathedral at night. I’ll give you one guess at what it actually is.

Though he is called by a dozen different names in the tales, he is always described as incredibly ugly. And a drinker of human blood.

Yep. A goddamn mage.

In turn-of-the-century France, the vampire’s name had gained such notoriety that a series of mystery thrillers featuring an arch-fiend called Fantomas became best-sellers. None of the stories explained the origin of the mastermind. Or why he preyed on the citizens of Paris. They were works of fiction, not fact.

In case old French pulp isn’t your thing, Fantomas, spelled with an F, was a character created in 1911 by Marcel Allain and Pierre Souvestre. He’s a master criminal like Arsène Lupin, except instead of a gentleman thief he was a sadistic murderer and Grade-A pure evil bastard. There’s nothing supernatural about Fantomas. He’s just a regular human who’s really good at murder, framing innocent people for said murder, and getting away with it. Apparently, thanks to the 1960′s film trilogy, he’s usually remembered in French pop culture wearing a blue mask that covers his entire head.

You can see how that guy would inspire a Nosferatu character. Also Destro from G.I. Joe.

But as just explained, in this setting it’s the other way around. And despite being portrayed as what the French call “a homicidal piece of shit”, the “real-life” Phantomas is a big fan of the stories.

The subject of these various novels, reports, and studies found them all vastly amusing. He had enjoyed the Fantomas novels immensely and had even sent the author several anonymous letters suggesting future ideas for plots. To his intense disappointment, none of his ideas had ever been used. Once or twice he had mentally debated visiting the novelist to plead his case. But Phantomas suspected his physical appearance might do his cause more harm than good.

That... is goddamn fucking adorable. He’s just been introduced and I already hope he survives the trilogy and discovers online fanfiction.

The vampire readily acknowledged his ugliness. Standing exactly five feet tall, with skin wrinkled as a prune, eyes like raisins, and a nose the size and shape of a sweet potato, he had caused more than one drunken Parisian to swear off red wine forever. A gaping mouthful of yellow teeth and bulging red eyes propelled his face out of the realm of the bizarre into the domain of the grotesque.

Eh. Someone in this fandom would still bang him.

Wait, eyes that were both “like raisins” and “bulging”? How does that work?

Phantomas is the Nosferatu on the cover of the second book of this trilogy, if you want a visual reference.

See, he’s even still got some hair. He’s not that bad looking.

Phantomas might enjoy the fiction he inspired about a murderer, but he’s not happy about being blamed for real murders of innocent people, regarding it as “cheap slander”. The centuries of recorded disappearances were the results of more natural and obvious crimes.

While he occasionally satisfied his thirst on some poor unfortunate, Phantomas rarely killed innocents if it could be avoided. A quiet, gentle soul, all he wanted was to be left alone in his underground lair, pursuing his research.

Over the years a host of villains had used his presence on the Île de la Cité as an alibi for their murders. Their victims ended, not in his hideaway, but dumped in the Seine. Most had escaped the guillotine. However, Phantomas was less forgiving. And his justice was as sharp and final as any blade.

So other than a few accidents, the only people Phantomas “disappeared” were the criminals responsible for the rest of them.

Phantomas isn’t thinking about that dark business right now. He’s feeling great because he’s on his way to a party. The Prince of Paris, one Francois Villon, holds court once a month, and today’s such a day. Villon’s both a Toreador elder and French, so obviously he holds court in the Louvre.

Dozens of Kindred, along with several hundred of the Prince’s favorite ghouls and kine, attended the festivities. This evening the Prince entertained an important Tremere wizard visiting from Vienna. Phantomas loved such events. Though never invited, he never missed one.

There goes my heart, breaking for poor old Phantomas again...

But this time the snub isn’t a case of a Toreador being a snob to a Nosferatu. Villon just doesn’t know Phantomas exists.

The Prince was under the mistaken impression that he was the oldest, most powerful vampire in the City of Lights. He was neither. Phantomas had come to the Île de la Cité with the invading legions of Julius Caesar in 53 B.C.

I should apologize to the French again. Turns out Phantomas isn’t one of you guys. He’s a nice Italian man.

From here we’re launched into Phantomas’ pre-Phantomas backstory. In life he was Varro Dominus (Strong Ruler or Master), a young noble and soldier who worked under Caesar himself, and was in charge of recording his military campaigns. Ceasar’s legions arrived in the Île de la Cité, then called Lutetia, using it as a stepping stone across the Seine. Unfortunately for Varro, living among the easily conquered native tribesmen, pretending to be a forest god, was a fifth-generation Nosferatu named Urgahalt. The invading legions fascinated Urgahalt, what with their military strength, impressive latin names, and neat centurion helmets, and he Embraced Varro so he could introduce him into Roman society.

There’s an obvious flaw in this plan, since it’s difficult for a guy to introduce you to his culture when you’ve just made him an outcast from that culture, turning him into a shriveled prune monster with a sweet potato nose. And Varro knew it too. The Romans, or at least Varro, knew more about Kindred (or lemures, as they called vampires) than Urgahalt realized, including how to kill them. Pissed that bumping into this guy cost him his life and career, Varro staked him in the heart and turned him into a bonfire.

Convincing the legions to take him back would be a hard sell now, so Varro stayed behind on the island, pretty much never leaving during the millennia as modern Paris rose up around the guy.

He was as much a part of the city as the Eiffel Tower.

Which undersells Phantomas quite a bit since the Eiffel Tower’s only been around since 1889, but you get the point.

Turning into an ugly son of a bitch also turned Phantomas into the ultimate introvert, aside from those parties he likes attending. He stays hidden from everyone, including other vampires. Even other Nosferatu.

More than two hundred Kindred inhabited Paris and its suburbs. The Toreador Clan held control of the central city, but several other bloodlines roamed the streets, including rebel bands of Brujah, Gangrel, and Malkavians. Rumors spoke of a Sabbat pack anxious to spread dissension and revolt, with headquarters in the slums. At least a half-dozen Nosferatu lived in lairs beneath major museums and churches [sic] Yet even among the Kindred Phantomas was a legend, an unseen presence with no basis in reality. He was a phantom to the living and the undead.

Good call. If Parisians are like how the opening paragraphs describe them, I wouldn’t want to talk to them either.

In order to stay hidden, Phantomas lives in a huge underground lair hundreds of feet under Notre Dame, connected by a network of tunnels that stretched across Paris. He’s also a master of Obfuscate, the discipline that allows vampires, especially Nosferatu, to go around unnoticed, commonly by turning invisible. Right now, in order to get into the party, Phantomas is using the Mask of a Thousand Faces, the third-tier Obfuscate power that disguises a vampire as a random nobody human or an unimportant vampire, depending on whose looking at him. Looks like it also lets you pretend to hold an invitation and get away with it.

Shortly after midnight, he strolled past the two Assamites guarding the glass pyramid that served as entrance to the Louvre. They nodded without interest as he displayed an imaginary invitation and walked into the main hall.

That pyramid pissed a lot of older Parisians off when it was first built. Yeah, they complain about everything, but since the artsy-fartsy Toreador control the city, you’d think they would’ve prevented its construction. Unless the pyramid’s a Toreador idea, in which case no wonder everyone hated it.

(Parisians are over hating the pyramid these days, so don’t mention it unless you want them to think you’re in their city for one of those Da Vinci Code tours.)

Phantomas muttered a word of thanks to his Roman gods that Villon considered electronic monitoring devices provincial. His psychic camouflage worked flawlessly with humans and vampires. It was useless against cameras or television monitors.

The Louvre doesn’t have any security cameras? None at all?

In Phantomas’ opinion, the Prince was a pompous dandy who wouldn’t recognize true art if it hit him in the face.

Looks like Phantomas agrees with me about Toreador tastes in art.

Master of the Louvre, the finest art collection in history, Villon ignored the treasures of the past for the ephemeral pleasures of the moment.

Alright, In Villon’s defense, I think grandpa here might have some bias.

His mercurial tastes dominated the Parisian fashion scene. He surrounded himself with the most beautiful models in Paris, blood dolls who sipped on blood and dreamed of immortality. Like too many of the Kindred, Villon had never come to terms with his undeath.

I like Phantomas and all, but it’s not Villon sneaking into one of his parties, so what right does he have being judgmental?

But I think I get what Phantomas is thinking. Villon owns one of the most famous historical art museums in the world, but he only cares about celebrity shit and making beautiful but angry-looking women wear weird shit nobody else will actually wear.

The party was being held in the glass-roofed Cour Marley, but Phantomas was in no hurry to go there. Though he had visited the Louvre many times, he never skipped the opportunity to visit the galleries housing the Greek, Roman, and Egyptian antiquities. The museum housed perhaps the finest such collection in the world and, though Phantomas had the face and body of a monster, he possessed the soul of a poet.

This is the real reason he loves these parties so much, isn’t it. Grandpa just wants an excuse to visit the museum for like the billionth time.

Ten minutes he spent staring at the Venus de Milo.

Art appreciation, or the closest he gets to seeing boobs?

He walks around admiring other things, like “Winged Victory of Samothrace”, “Winged Bull”, and the statue of Queen Nefertiti.

The bust of Agrippa drew him to the Roman section. The famous general, the hero of Actium, had served Octavius, the grandnephew of his mentor, Julius Caesar. Staring at the statue made him feel old. Two thousand years separated him from his heritage.

I feel the same way whenever I meet someone born after Spongebob Squarepants first aired.

If not for a chance encounter in Gaul, his children might have fought against Mark Anthony. Or served in the Senate with Cicero.

Not if you stared at potential mothers the way you stared at the Venus de Milo and Agrippa’s bust.

He finishes his tour and finally heads to the party. If you’ve been paying attention to the plot, you know what’s about to happen.

As he drew closer to the courtyard, he frowned. There was no music. Villon’s parties always featured a loud rock band playing the latest hits. Tonight, the corridors were strangely silent.

Nirvana was supposed to play “About a Girl” but Villon kicked them out when Cobain let his turtles wander around and shit everywhere.

A tall, young man slender [sic], with blond hair and bright blue eyes, stood in front of the door leading to the Cour Marley. Dressed in a white suit with an open-necked white shirt, he nodded in greeting as Phantomas approached. It was almost as if he had been waiting for [sic] there for him.

Weinberg’s editor must’ve quit before getting to this chapter, after reading the part about Flavia’s rock hard leather-penetrating nipples. Also, ‘sup Reuben? What’ve you been doing the past two years?

Reuben doesn’t introduce himself. He just warns Phantomas not to go in. Phantomas is shocked that a human is talking to him at all. Mask of a Thousand Faces is supposed to disguise him as someone so boring not even Kindred are interested starting a conversation with him

“The Final Death waits inside,” continued the stranger, evidently not troubled by Phantomas’ concerns. “If you enter, you may never leave.”

“I am no coward,” stated the vampire simply. “After twenty centuries, I fear very little.”

Let’s see if that lasts longer than a page.

The young man smiled. “I suspected you would say that.” He stepped to the side. “Beware the Red Death, Phantomas.”

“Who are you?” asked Phantomas, startled. “How do you know my name?”

But the stranger had vanished. It was as if he had never been there.

Good old Reuben, scaring an old man, the trolling bastard.

Successfully freaked out, Phantomas opens the courtyard doors. To no one’s surprise, everyone’s dead. Even the regular non-ghoul humans.

The smell of charred and blackened human flesh assaulted his nostrils. A horrified glance around the courtyard revealed a dozen bodies of Villon’s favorites, their beautiful features burned beyond recognition. The fashion runways of Paris would be missing a number of familiar faces tomorrow. Mixed among the dead were the remains of twice as many ghouls. Nowhere was there life.

How he’s able to tell the models and ghouls apart, I don’t know.

Villon was gone. As were all other Kindred. However, dark shadows on the ground indicated to Phantomas that more than one had departed the Louvre permanently.

Can the French art and fashion worlds finally recover from the dark and untalented reign of the Toreador?

As if in answer to Phantomas’ unasked question, a gruesome figure stepped from behind the Marly Horses. Tall and lean, he wore a rotted shroud of funeral cloth held together by strips of moldering bandage [sic]. His face was

-that of a long-dead corpse, chalk-white skin, blah blah blah it’s the Red Death.

Slowly, the monster smiled.

“The meddling record keeper,” said the Red Death. He stretched out a skeletal arm. Phantomas could feel the heat thirty feet away. “Your termination will be a fitting conclusion to the celebration.”

Confronted by this horrifying fire monster who just massacred an entire party of vampires, ghouls, and humans, what does the famous Phantomas do? Something that both proves him a hypocrite and the smartest person in this goddamn book.

He hauls ass out of there.

Hundreds of years hiding beneath the streets of Paris had taught Phantomas an important lesson. When threatened, flee. Immediately. Don’t search for alternative solutions, don’t negotiate, don’t look back. Run as fast as possible until you reach safety. It was a basic survival technique that worked in the past. It served him tonight.

Phantomas ran. He burst through the doors of the Cour Marley, raced down the halls leading to the glass pyramid, and sprinted out into the night air without turning his head once to see if he was followed. Short and misshapen, he ran astonishingly fast.

Phantomas doesn’t stop running until he’s safely hundreds of feet underground in one of his tunnels. He escaped the Red Death.

He had escaped for the moment. But Phantomas felt certain he had not seen the last of the monster.

It had named him the record keeper. Somehow it knew of his great project. And the Red Death obviously disapproved.

We’ll find out more about Phantomas’ hobby the next time we catch up with him. For now, Chapter 6 ends on that mystery.

#vampire the masquerade #vampire: the masquerade #vtm #vtmb #world of darkness #blood war

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lyriummarkcd-blog · 7 years

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[RULES: Repost. Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you]

I was tagged by @youriinquisitorialness ! I love talking about myself so this was a lot of fun :D

1. Besides writing, what other hobbies do you have / what else do you like to do in your free time ? - I watch and play a lot of D&D. A lot. I also do a lot of theatre related things, but that’s work/school technically? I enjoy it though. Mostly I write lmao.

2. what’s been your favourite travel story / experience ? - When I was younger I went to Spain to see my Dad’s side of the family (they’re Irish and go to Spain for vacation a lot) and I also got to see Dublin and London which was hella cool. I’d really like to go back to see them and because I love Dublin and London? So yeah.

3. any pets ? if no, would you like any and, if so, what ? - I’ve got a dog! She’s adorable and her name is Zoe! But also I really want a hedgehog.

4. how do you go about getting inspiration to write when you’re lacking it ? - Mostly lots of suffering and frustration? But no uh I listen to music or take a break. Let my mind refresh.

5. this one had to be asked: what’s your harry potter house ? and your game of thrones house, if you watch / read / know of the series. - I don’t follow game of thrones but I’m a Gryffindor :)

6. what are some of your favourite books ? why do you like them / what about them speaks to you ? - My favorite book for ages was The Book Thief because it’s both a ‘coming of age’ but also about how important words are. Good Omens is hilarious and wonderful. The entire Temeraire Series is wonderful because history and dragons.

7. do you have a lucky number ? if so, what is it ? - 4 or 16

8. what’s your favourite fruit ? favourite veggie ? favourite candy ? - I love strawberries and blue berries. I hate most vegetables. I love any caramels or gummy candy (like gummy worms).

9. you’ve been stranded on a deserted tropical island in the middle of nowhere. 1: how screwed are you and 2: what three things do you take with you, assuming you can’t take any electronics ? assume you’ll be there for awhile. - Very screwed. So screwed. I’d take a pallet of duct tape (does that count as one item? Oh well), a thing of flares, and a thing of fire starters. I’d still die in like, three weeks, but still.

10. favourite superhero / superhero movie ? why ? if you could , would you take their superpower ? and what would you do with it ? - My favorite superhero is probably Wiccan/Billy Kaplan but movie-wise probably Winter Soldier tbh. I think it’d be pretty cool to be a super soldier and I like the concept of being a superhero, but I’m also a huge coward and shit so.... yeah. Now if I could have Wiccan’s powers, fucking hell yes.

11. apart from biow//are games (snrk), what’s your favourite video game / game series ? - I have a huge nostalgia thing for Harvest Moon because that was the first video game series I ever loved. And Fire Emblem is one of my favorite series.

Tagging @acxlyte @madechamp @itsahawkething @ellanasha-lavellan @afirmbelieverinnopantsfridays @cxllen-rxtherford @lyrium-arrxws @dualwieldingbirdofprey and @thedalishbloodmage If they want to :)

1. Where is the dream place you’d like to live?

2. Would you rather breathe underwater or fly and why?

3. If you could be in any fictional universe, which one would you choose and why?

4. If you were in Dragon Age, what would be your race/class? Would you be pro-Chantry/Templar or pro-mage? Where would you be from? If you’re an elf/Dalish, what would be your vallaslin?

5. What’s your dream job?

6. If a stranger handed you a duffle bag full of hundred dollar bills, what would you do with it?

7. What book/book series would you have turned into a good movie/tv show adaptation and why?

8. What’s your least favorite vegetable/fruit/candy?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens? Magic? Cryptids?

10. Would you rather fight a hundred duck sized horses or a horse sized duck?

11. What’s your favorite thing about RP’ing?

#[mun]#[ooc]

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