Quin when he had too much character development

KFVDIDHS YEAH!! gotta love Quin and his fucked up little thang. He can actually connect with people if he puts his mind to it (even if said person is a strange sea slug looking alien goo)

Dear BoJack,

Human connection is a strange thing. I'm in a period of my life right now where all of my loved ones are telling me that I am disconnected from reality. I don't form relationships like I'm supposed to, I don't love the way I'm supposed to, and I take the people in my life for granted. My entire life, I have struggled with other people. I don't understand friendships. I barely understand relationships. Most of all, I don't understand self-love. I've never had it, and I fear that I never will. But your show makes me feel a connection like no other. I love so many people in my life but I always feel that even the ones closest to my heart don't truly understand me. They don't understand what I am thinking, they don't understand what I am feeling. But your show makes me feel that. You and your friends make me feel understood, you make me feel that connection everyone says I am lacking... and for that I am eternally grateful.

I started watching your show right around the release of season two. I was with a group of people that were the closest thing I had to friends. By episode three, I fell in love with your story and everyone involved in it. The exact line that got me hooked was in season one episode seven... "Say Anything". You and Princess Carolyn were sat outside and you looked at her and said "I don't love you, and you don't love me. We're just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less. Maybe that's all we'll ever be." That line spoke to me for so many reason. At the time, I was hopelessly in love and pursuing someone who I had been trying to catch for 4 years at the time... now it would be 8 years. There was no reason for me to love him, he was everything I hated and everything I didn't want in a partner, I couldn't explain why I felt the way I did. I just did. So to hear that line, "I don't love you, you don't love me. We're just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less. Maybe that's all we'll ever be." It made me kind of wake up to the situation I was in. It forced me to think. It touched my heart and it forced me to think. This was the first spark of true, deep connection.

I also connected to the things that Secretariat said before his suicide. I connected to the deep desire to feel like you're a good person despite all of the shitty things you've done... I still do. And to how you felt about Charlotte, living in an endless haze of "what if" until you finally get close to exactly what you need and one move just... blows the whole thing.

At this point in my life, I kept stumbling. My actions were starting to matter in a bigger scheme. I was so stupid, making mistake after mistake after mistake. And all of my peers made me feel so terrible. But seeing another character go through a similar feeling... wanting to be told so desperately that you are good deep down... it was such a strong connection. You understood, you put it into words, you helped me to understand. And we connected.

That is what started this all. Now to fast forward to present day... because honestly I could go through every single episode and find something but I'm gonna save you the time and just touch on the major points and characters.

The biggest one off the bat involves Diane. I have never related to anyone as strongly as I relate to Diane. Everything she does makes sense to me, everything she feels makes sense to me, everything she wants makes sense to me. No matter what she has, she can't find the happiness she's looking for. She was brought up in a rough home and told it was love and games even though it affected her so deeply. She's constantly put down even though she always has best interest at heart. And most of all, she holds everyone to an unrealistically high expectation, including herself, and this is the root of her inner struggles. Everything she goes through, I go through too (completely coincidentally). When she got into the fight with Mr. Peanutbutter about the Belle-room... that was my relationship at the time; something so perfect and so beautiful and so flawless but only at the perfect exact angle. And I lost that essential part of my life right when season 5 dropped, and Diane went on a soul search to find herself in Vietnam. It was a breath of fresh air to have SOMEONE understand. I even found my own version of Guy when season 6 part one came out, I had been dating him since January 2019. So many aspects of my life are reflected in Diane's story, it gives me a guide and a direction of where I could go next. I wouldn't feel that hope of survival in this cruel world without seeing her survive, too. So thank you, for her friendship. She is me, she is damaged but she is still going. If she finds a way to manage then it gives me the confidence that even though I'm broken... I can manage, too.

The next point I wanna talk about is Todd. At the end of season three, Todd had a very important yet painful monologue. "You can't keep doing this, you can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay. You need to be better. You are all of the things that are wrong with you. It's not the alcohol or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career or when you were a kid. It's you. Alright? It's you." This monologue changed my perception on life SO much. So much so that "It's You." is going to be my first tattoo, right on the back of my left wrist where my hand meets my arm. I'm getting it there because that's where I would usually put a watch, and I want to replace that spot and put this tattoo instead to remind myself every day that I am responsible for my own actions; I need to be better. I need to keep trying to be the best possible version of myself that I can be, because I am what is wrong with me and I am what will fix it. This was such a wake up call for me, that everything that was going wrong in my life and that had gone wrong since high school was my fault and was a result of my actions. It made me realize that I had to stop pinning the blame on other people and playing the victim and own up to all of the shitty things I had done so I could finally start to grow and feel better. Another important thing about Todd is his exploration in his sexuality... my sexuality is a multilayered shitshow of a concept. But in the experiences I've had, I think I'm coming to grips with the fact that I am on the asexuality spectrum. It's so refreshing to see someone who understands how strange that is to discover, and how confusing and lonely it feels sometimes. And without you, BoJack, I wouldn't have this connection either, so thank you.

Mr. Peanutbutter and Princess Carolyn are still incredibly important characters, don't get me wrong. I look up to and aspire to be like Princess Carolyn as I further grow into adulthood. She is one of the strongest women I know, even in what your show portrays to be her weakest moments. I relate to her backstory in that I feel like I'm constantly picking up after other people's mess, never getting the credit for what I know I deserve. Especially in her relationship with her mother, when all P.C wanted was to go to UCLA and her mother was so insistent that she needed to stay at home and take care of her responsibilities there. How hard it was to step away regardless of her loved ones needing help, and having the strength and courage to follow her passions and dreams anyway. She knew where she was tied down and she followed her heart and took a leap of faith anyway. It's so admirable and it's a dream of mine that I feel connected to, I just don't have the strength to reach. And Mr. Peanutbutter is one of those people who has optimism like I've never seen. I've never understood it but I want to. I feel like maybe a piece of me feels that optimism from deep down in my childhood, when I was innocent. Before I became shattered... and I hope to maybe one day be as calm, collected and carefree as he is.

Before I end this never ending letter, I want to touch on you and Sarah Lynn. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I know anything about that struggle, as I am completely sober and I do have a daughter figure in my life but not to that extent at all. But I can say that I understood Sarah Lynn when she said that she didn't like anything about herself... I understood what she felt when she asked if she was doomed. You remind me of my brother, and Sarah Lynn reminds me of one of my closest friends. It was amazing to me that you became sober, and a few months later, my brother did too. Your story gives me hope for him... I often wonder what would have come of Sarah Lynn if she was still alive. My friend wants to go into architecture too, and he is sober right now. I pray to every collective being every night that he stays on the right path, because he has the kind of connections that could end his story as tragically as Sarah Lynn ended her story.

That being said, I am so so SO proud of you for pursuing sobriety. Even through the immense struggles with Dr. Champ (who, I'm sorry, was a fucking joke. You deserved way better than him) and the stress of having to face life again... you have overcome so much BoJack. I can confidently tell you that you're giving millions of people hope by sharing your story and by building a new life for yourself despite everything that has happened to you.

Now I wanna talk about you personally. BoJack, I relate to some of your struggles. Constantly being haunted by the past, constantly feeling like you're a stupid piece of shit, wanting to feel deep down that you're a good person, being unable to love people the way you're supposed to no matter how hard you try, feeling like you see the world through a broken lens, having a rough relationship with your parents, you make me see that these feelings and these struggles do exist. I am not crazy, and even if I'm disconnected from this reality I am connected in yours. I'm not alone in what I feel and even though your show wants people to understand that it's not okay to feel this way and that we should strive for more, you were able to help me even understand the root of some of my problems in the first place. Understanding your problems is the first step to solving them. And there have been so many times in watching your show that I step back and think "holy shit, they're right." Moments that it feels like I am being talked to directly. The rose-colored glasses speech, Cuddly-Whisker's new philosophy, "the best thing that ever happened", your letters to Diane from rehab, the argument you got into at the Philbert premiere. The list goes on. You speak to me in ways that no one else can, as if you and your friends are the only ones that speaks my language.

At your mother's funeral, you said all you wanted was to be seen. I know exactly how that feels. And in this world that you have created for me... I finally feel seen. Thank you, for sharing your story and for sharing your friends. Thank you for forcing me to feel and forcing me to think about the things that haunt me and break me down. Thank you for seeing me.

I feel like all of my closest friends are disappearing on me now that the show is coming to a close. I am scared that my guidance is fading, I am scared for how your stories will end. I am terrified to once again face a reality in which no one understands... but I found your show and loved your show through all the times that I needed it the most. I wouldn't have made it this far without you. I owe you everything.

I am going to continue to move forward with the tools that you have given me. Your show is such an important piece of my life, it's hard to accept that it's coming to and end. It's hard to accept that the only people who truly understand won't be around anymore. But I will keep on keeping on. If you all can do it, I know I can, too.

Thank you for seeing me, BoJack Horseman.

-E

"In this terrifying world, all we have are the connections we make."