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#this guy in my inbox harassing me!!!! /j
acidpeaches · 1 year
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yep
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bunni-v1 · 4 months
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Sfw list with ace? Thankyou
🍓I got some free time FINALLY!!! I'm still incredibly busy and my plate is so full, but I can write something in my inbox! I'm so tired guys, you have no idea, but I'm pushing through as best as I can. Wish me luck please ;-;
A - Affection: Ace is not an affectionate guy, at least, not in the traditional sense. He's not gonna be caught hanging all over you, kissing you every five minutes, or absolutely begging for your attention. No, he's like violent. Not like, beating you up violent, but punching your shoulder or giving you a noogie violent. It looks like he's bullying you, but that's just how he shows he cares dw.
B - Best friend: He's such a dick I hate him. Ace is an asshole, and he knows that and is proud of it. He's gonna be mean to you and pick on you and all that fun shit. You can pick on him and be mean to him in return. He's got your back, you've got his. It's all equivalent exchange with him. However, he will defend you till his dying breath. If someone else is being mean to you, he's not gonna have it. He's a bros bro, a homie, and an irreplaceable best friend.
C - Cuddles: Contrary to what I said earlier, he does like cuddles! He's not cold-hearted, and he does enjoy being a boyfriend. He's not always wanting to cuddle, but he enjoys them whenever he's in the mood. He has to be the big spoon, though, that's his only rule. (He secretly likes the idea that he can protect you no matter if you're bigger than him or not).
D - Domestic: Settling down isn't something Ace really thinks about too hard. If he had to give an answer, yeah probably would be it. He's a college student, he's not even in his twenties yet, so thinking about settling down isn't exactly something on his to-do list just yet. On another note, when he does settle down he's pretty good at doing chores and balancing out work and home life. You're never going to feel like you have to do too much at home compared to him, but you will have to hear him complain about it while he does it.
E - Ending: Ace is probably the nicest out of everyone? Weird, I know right, but he's not as heartless as people think. If he falls out of love with you, he's just gonna be upfront about it. He's not gonna make it all about what you did wrong or what he did wrong, he's just gonna be honest. You'll likely end things on good terms and go back to being best friends shortly after.
F - Fiance(e): It's not that Ace is afraid of commitment, it's just not something he actively thinks about. That isn't to say he's not committed, he is! He's not in a relationship with you just to waste it on a one-night stand, he just won't want to think about marriage until both of you are at a more stable point in life. Like, you know, not drowning in student loan debt. He definitely brings it up after two years of being together, because he likes the idea of marriage, just not yet.
G - Gentle: He is not, as I've already mentioned, gentle. His form of affection is physical and rough, and his words will always be sharp and pointed, but he knows when to reel it in and stop. If he is actually pissing you off he stops and apologizes. Yeah, he pouts and is grumpy, but he's not going to keep harassing you.
H - Hugs: Again, he likes hugs a lot. He won't admit it, but they're probably his favorite form of affection. He's a good hugger too. He's got the big brother-type hugs, you know the all-encompassing warm ones that you. just can't get enough of.
I - I love you: It takes him a while. He just doesn't think about the fact that he needs to say it at some point. It'll come naturally when it comes, that's Ace's philosophy on it. When he doesn't finally say it, it's in such a casual setting neither of you even realize what he said.
J - Jealousy: Ace does get jealous, and it's over the most stupid shit too. He doesn't feel threatened by anyone, because why would you be with him if you weren't willing to be loyal. Nah, he gets jealous of Grim and Deuce. He wants to be the center of your attention specifically when those two are around, and he rarely gets his way so he just sits there and pouts until you give him what he wants. (He pouts for a long ass time).
K - Kisses: Kisses fluster him so bad it's so funny. He doesn't know why they make him so hot in the face, but they do and it's incredibly funny. If he had to pick a favorite place to kiss/be kissed, he'd probably say cheek kisses. Only because they're the only type that doesn't make him feel like his head is about to explode.
L - Little ones: Ace is unsurprisingly not a big fan of kids. He's not good with them, and he himself is a giant toddler so can you blame him. He's like a textbook case younger sibling, and it shows the most when he's around little kids. He doesn't know how to act appropriately, unfortunately, that makes the kids think he's super cool and cling to him.
M - Morning: If you don't get out of bed first, neither of you are getting up. If he has an eight am, you're gonna have to be the one to get him up or else he won't go. He's not a morning person, and he spends most of the morning wobbling around groggy and grumbling about how tired he is.
N - Night: Ace is also a night owl, and he really likes to stay up late doing random shit. A lot of the time both of you take a train somewhere and just wander around and talk. In other cases, you stay up late playing video games together (sometimes Deuce joins). Late nights are when you and Ace have most of your deep talks together, and you really get to see who he is underneath all those layers at night.
O - Open: It takes him a minute to start opening up to you. It's not like he has some dramatic backstory or anything, it's just another case that he doesn't think too hard about it and therefore doesn't open up until it feels right. It's during one of the late-night sessions where you're wandering around the empty streets where he just tells you a ton about him.
P - Patience: With Ace, it's a toss-up. I don't even know if you could describe what he's feeling as anger, but it's somewhere along those lines. He's constantly just irked at something, whether it's something someone said or his own responsibilities, he's got an underlying annoyance. To say it ever goes so far as anger would be stretching, and I doubt it's ever directed at you. I guess I would say he's easy to rile up but hard to actually piss off.
Q - Quizzes: Ace remembers most of the important stuff that he needs to. He knows your birthday, the important anniversaries, and your favorites and all that. However, sometimes he just forgets. You can chew him out for it because even he knows he deserves it, but it's not like he was trying to. He just blanked. He makes up for it tenfold though, grumbling the whole time.
R - Remember: Going back to the "I Love You" bullet, that has to be his favorite memory. The two of you were chilling on the couch in ramshackle, playing some game or another (he can't remember the name of it, it wasn't that fun, but you made it a blast). You'd kicked his ass in a level, and instead of pouting he was laughing and having such a good time. And he just let it slip. "I love you." Without missing a beat you said it back, smile just as wide as his.
S - Security: Ace is fully aware that you can handle your own, therefore, he doesn't really step in unless you ask him to. It's a way he shows his respect for you and your relationship. The one time he'll go above that though is if someone is insulting you and you aren't around to defend yourself. He puts that person back in their place so fast he breaks the sound barrier. He expects the same from you, of course. Equivalent exchange and such.
T - Try: At the very start, he's not doing a whole lot. It's not like he doesn't care, it's just that he's a broke college student and he wants some lighthearted fun. Once you start getting serious he puts more effort into things. It's still not extravagant dates, but things you'd expect from him. Movies, arcades, amusement parks, etc. Fun stuff, but things that you can enjoy mutually!
U - Ugly: He doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut. He'll make a nasty comment to you that'll hurt your feelings and then realize that what he said was uncool. He speaks before he thinks in a lot of cases, and it causes a whole boatload of issues for the two of you. He'll cut it eventually, it just takes a whole lot of work.
V - Vanity: He doesn't really care all that much about looks, on both himself and you. Sure, he thinks you're the most attractive person in the world, but that's not what matters to him. He isn't that shallow. He takes good care of himself, but he's not doing insane skincare routines like Vil is.
W - Whole: He wouldn't feel incomplete without you. In his mind, the two of you are separate but equal. You are just as important to him as he is to himself, but you are not the same. He misses you when you're gone, but he can function without you by his side 24/7.
X - Xtra: Ace has wanted to grow out his hair since he was in middle school. The only issue is, he has no idea what he'd do with it. He's not great at styling hair, and honestly, he doubts his would be easy to work with due to how thick and coarse it is. He gave up on the idea in high school. After meeting Jamil though he's been thinking about it a lot and asking him a lot about hair care.
Y - Yuck: Sensitivity. To an extent, he understands getting upset over things because emotions are uncontrollable and human. If you can't take his teasing or his jokes, though, it's such a turn-off for him. His love language is teasing (mutually), so he couldn't be with someone who can't take that.
Z - Zzz: He will go to sleep in one position and then wake up in another. Sleeping with his head on the pillow, he'll somehow wake up completely turned around. He's woken up on the floor, hanging off his bed, in DEUCES bed. It's so odd and no one knows how he does it cause he's so quiet while he sleeps.
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incarnateirony · 1 year
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What an overview.
So let's see what we have with scripthunt now
Wiki leaking but helping lie about the pilot script to incite harassment she could have stopped at any time.
Wigglebox satellite stalking jensen and whatever the fuck that finale script stunt was and being mad 2po and wiki ever released the script that proved I was right and they were lying, which she implied she would have chosen to hide.
2po lying about--well, everything. First the M&G he tried to retaliate when he was busted lying, then just. You know. Lie after lie after lie easily disproven with receipts. Honestly just like. My whole blog vs his whole blog. My receipts vs his unsubstantiated claims. The 5K he conned people out of and then him and wigglebox lied, is a good start. It's been out for days and he still pretends no one responded.
2po's sources are violent antis that actually were threatening to cut hellers at a con for asking heller questions in a Cockles M&G. This is why his retaliation failed. Because his own sources were drunk, rabid and yelling. So his lies got outted.
working with what's basically a 4chan troll using pepe memes as his "source" against me that is actively doxxing people in a revenge quest to find my sources and not even doxxing "the right people." but sure as shit spamming their contact info into people's inboxes and making public allegations. Openly spent their time trying to get a server to hate on Misha. UPDATE: THEY RESPONDED TO LET US KNOW THEY'RE ACTUALLY A REDDIT TROLL.
An ocean of trolls that feel entitled to break historic LGBTQ DONT OUT PEOPLE rules and trying to blame everyone but themselves, including Misha, after using it to drill in more attacks on Misha. (gestures at the last few days of my inbox, and that's just the like 1/4 i replied to.) This, for the record, is the exact talking point Snot Rag kept trying to re-spin in our server (well, one of them.) So yay. You guys got used by a reddit incel to attack a guy.
Grifting tens of thousands of dollars out of fandom "for charity" which actually just lets them cruise gold panel cons, get something signed, and then return equivalent pocket change for the actual investment to the charity. (scripthunt's whole schtick.)
A good deal of that server is banned and on a revenge quest. Sins include harassing users across multiple channels, obsessive sea lioning and trolling for months on end, and trying to hijack server permissions to delete it.
Sneaking socks into multiple servers, not just mine, just general ongoing violation of privacy and trust. Doesn't end at Misha. All reporting back to 2po.
Oh yeah. Just. Excellent folks.
Update:
@louisianefille
That snotrag person messaged me back in March. Not sure when they got banned from the server, but they sent me a link to a blind item that was supposedly about J*red. IDK what they were up to/where they were going with their messages.
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necroangelz · 1 month
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callout post on @vamplita. this post is important. don't ignore it. /j
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she's straight and white and it makes me uncomfortable :/ also she harasses me.... sooo many times.. in my inbox.. sniffles
she says many problematic things in my dms. if uu guys just saw our dms... it truly reveals the dark side of Tumblr user vamplita. this nurse is not what she seems.
she smeared mayo on my face and spit mayo everywhere. and poured cola in my inbox
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(vamplita's mugshot) also would uu support someone who has been in jail? i don't think so.
this harassment campaign she started against me has gone on for far too long. it makes me severely despaired. please cancel her. don't give her a platform. unfollow her right now. and instead follow me AYYYYYY LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE AND HIT THAT BELL TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN I POST MORE CONTENT LETS GOOOO
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momo-de-avis · 2 years
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You know, everyone in the early 2000s created shitty emaisl on gmail they regretted later, but I actually didn’t. I had a crappy, teenage hotmail account that was a wordplay on a Guano Apes song, and when I transitioned to high school, I thought “nah, time to make it professional” so I created an account with a slight variation of my name, a word, and a number. That was it. Simple. Even added a dot for good measure, and that fucking dot is the one thing that fucked me over FIFTEEN YEARS down the line.
Like, I genuinely do not know how the fuck this happens, but there must be a lot of Annas out there who apparently do not know their fucking email, so they just give mine. Allegedly, the gmail policy on adding a period to your address is that it doesn’t matter if it’s there. So [email protected] and [email protected] is the exact same email. I just don’t get how there’s a subset of Annas out in the world who somehow think my combination of name, word and numbers are their email address, unless they think they created an email without a dot, which is not possible because, according to gmail, you can’t do it, but these Annas have been handing my fucking email to everything.
I keep losing important emails because they’re absolutely buried in a shit ton of subscriptions I didn’t even sign up for. Why the fuck would I sign up for the Michael J Fox Foundation???
I’ve been trying for YEARS to unsubscribe to this shit. It doesn’t work, mostly because, from what I’m understanding, in America this shit is a free-for-all gmail harassment and it’s perfectly fine to make your path towards unsubscribing hard enough that it makes it impossible. Because I’ve unsubscribed so many times from this crap and it keeps coming (and YES, I’ve marked it as spam so it is moved to spam and then trash, and it still clogs my fucking inbox, it just somehow keeps slipping past the filter).
Then half of these are also based on an alleged profile I never created, or an account I never set up, and trying to talk to these “customer services” is a fucking joke, like the Apple guy who said the only way I could put an end to the account some Anna Cunningham created with my email was by creating my OWN account with that same email, which 1) lol I don’t own a single apple product, get fucked, and 2) on principle, how am I even supposed to create an account on an already existing email, you dumb fuck?
And that is not mentioning the mailing lists I know exactly where they came from (fuck that stupid gallery I worked at, which forwarded my address to a bunch of other galleries and artists who proceeded to add me to their mailing lists and am now being FLOODED with stupid invited to their godwaful gallery openings and seasonal well-wishes).
Like, WHY is this happening, bro. It was funny when that american dude named Lou sent me his halloween picture of himself dressed as Dracula by mistake, but it’s a bit much, now. 
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User 'J' here (please, call me JH ;) ), regarding the XXY one off. Just here to set the record straight because this newest 'account' of what happened is even more lie riddled than the first one. We'll go point by point.
I'm not in my late twenties and definitely not in my late thirties (???). (would love to see this 'confirmation').
I am not in plague flight, I am in electric flight.
The user that was 'scammed' (hereafter referred to as user L) has been here since 2016. I have been here since 2019, but only a month or two of that has been actual playtime. No one 'just joined' and both of us were effectively new.
I did not buy the dragon from L. A friend of mine did (also inexperienced in the value side of FR) at a price L set for them to buy.
I did not lie. I've been VERY transparent about everything that has transpired (there is a thread up explaining everything that happened). You guys are the ones throwing the tantrum, because you want me to be the bad guy so badly. I don't feel bad calling any of you stupid; you are for just taking what people say at face value.
L was chill about the mis-sale of the dragon and did not seek it's return. They only expressed an interest in getting the dragon back after seeing the shitshow it's sale had caused with the expectation that them owning it might shut you all up. They accepted my reasoning when I told them I would not be capitulating to mobbing and harassing behavior by giving it to them. They furthermore came into my inbox on my tumblr with the express purpose telling you all to pipe the fuck down. They never wanted to be white knighted and want this to be over and done with (they even went so far to change their username, delete the original sales thread, and remove comments on their den pitying them for being 'scammed'.).
No one is being traumatized or harmed over a dragon they chose to sell at a price they chose to sell it at, jesus fucking christ.
At this point, the story is just a game of telephone now and as a person who comes from a community where we only believe stuff after its sufficiently capped and proven, it's wild to me you guys are just accepting whatever comes out of some anonymous person's mouth.
L is not getting the dragon. It was given to me and I was not apart of the original sale, so I have no reason or responsibility to return it to them and I will especially not be doing it after being threatened with ToS breaks, ostracization, being mobbed, being harassed, ect.
I'm glad you're not me either. The type of person who gets THIS up in arms over a pixel animal? Days after the fact? The fact that you're a real person who un-ironically typed this out, who's upset to this degree over a dumb brown dragon? Creepy.
The XXY-one-off is set to be bred on the 21st (yes i'm aware this lowers his value; no I do not care). Maybe I'll give L one of his descendants, but the dragon itself is out of the question and that's due in part to everyone harassing me about it. I hope everything turned out the way you wanted. 
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Inbox of harassing anons from j/b shippers
Ok you're all blocked by ip and I’m just going to address you all here:
1. I haven’t been harassing anyone. On the other hand, what do you think your little unfounded accusation with the insults added qualifies as? Furthermore, I’ve got screenshots from StatCounter that show of at least 2 occasions where it shows IP’s in my ask box, which I have posted on here before when you guys sent me anon hate.
2. No, I don’t want to fuck my brother. I don’t even have a brother. I’m not attracted to family members, though if people are, so long as both partners are adults, they should be able to do whatever they want.
3. Huh? The insult doesn’t even make sense. I’m not single. Not that it’s any of your business. As for the other, I sure wouldn’t reveal on here if I did as it’s not at all relevant to anything fandom related. Nor was the first part of your comment, but I just wanted you to know you don’t know jack shit about me. Also, you resorting to personal insults just shows how immature you are. 
4. a03 allows meta to be posted and you coming in my inbox to say it’s not fic doesn’t change that. Nor does you or your friends making call out posts change it. Nor does harassing me over and over to the point that I have to turn on comment moderation and turn off anonymous commenting on the fic. Nor does you guys going into my other fics and leaving rude comments that I keep having to delete. Grow up.
5. No, I’m not going to go kill myself. As for your insult, well whatever. I’d rather have a handful of people I actually like around then people I don’t, and I really don’t think most people are worth being around. Shitty people like you certainly aren’t.
Not bothering with the rest. I’ll ship what I want. What someone ships doesn’t mean they want it in real life. Stop harassing me on here and a03.
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My experience with anti-ism and back
Inspired by @huntypastellance's interviews with ex-antis, I decided to post my own story of how I became an anti and how I got out.
My inbox and messages are open in case anyone has any questions or wants to say anything.
Apologies for any typos, my typing is not the greatest.
Names have been changed to protect my friends’ privacy and to prevent certain antis mentioned from coming after me again.
Where It All Started
So back in middle school I fell in love with an anime called Hetalia, about the interactions between anthropomorphized versions of various countries. I had been in fandom for a while (my first big fandom was Sonic, but that was before antis went mainstream), and I was a pretty big follower of "don't like, don't read/look". When I joined, I immediately latched on to the ship AmeCan, or America/Canada.
They were cute and it was my OTP for a long time. The only problem with AmeCan is that, by a large majority of the fandom, America and Canada were considered brothers. I personally didn't see them that way, I saw them as adopted brothers at most, and I was always pretty squicked out by shippy fanfics that depicted them as biological brothers. The ship itself was still pretty big in that fandom, so I ignored the haters and immersed myself in fanart and fanfic.
I met a girl at my school (let's call her Duchess) who also liked Hetalia and we quickly hit it off. We soon asked what each other's OTPs were.
Me: Oh, I ship AmeCan.
Duchess: ...
Me: What is it?
Duchess: You realize they're brothers, right?
Me: Oh, I don't see them that way because [insert reasoning that I don't want to have to explain to non-Hetalians, just know that I explained that I didn't see them as brothers.]
Duchess: But it's canon. They canonly see each other as brothers.
Me: Oh...
In hindsight, I probably should have asked what she meant by “it’s canon”. Either way, I began to drift away from AmeCan due to lack of interest, and towards other ships (Romerica and AmeBela), and then to other fandoms. She still remained one of my closest friends.
Down The Rabbit Hole
I began to get really into kawaii culture and browsed the tags pretty regularly. Over time, I came across CG/L content. It squicked me out at first, but due to some sort of bile fascination, I began browsing CG/L blogs and began learning about that subculture. I actually enjoyed it quite a lot, but I knew that it would be inappropriate for someone my age (around 13-14 years old) to participate in kink, so I kept my distance and admired it from afar.
Soon, Duchess brought it up at lunch.
Duchess: I really hate seeing DDGL stuff everywhere.
Me: Haha, yeah...
Duchess: I mean, It's practically pedophilia!
Me: Mhm...
That's what I had thought at first too, before researching it. But she kept talking about it.
Duchess: They're sexualizing children, and children's toys! It's so gross! I actually made a blog against it.
Me: Whoa, really?
Duchess showed me her anti-CGL blog and I quickly followed it because she was my friend, and slowly began to follow other anti-DDLG blogs as well, even making my own: rise-against-ddlg. I took it down due to lack of interest, but antis had already grown on tumblr, and I was torn between my "don't like, don't look" policy, and wanting to "help" survivors. So outwardly, I became an anti, while guiltily reading "problematic" fic and playing "problematic" games in secret.
One such problematic game was Yandere Simulator, and I began to browse those tags too, when I discovered another anti blog, this time against Yandere Simulator and Alex Mahan, a.k.a. Yandere Dev. I learned he was fairly homophobic, sexist, and transphobic, especially in his own private chatroom, and began to idolize that anti blog. Suddenly, they released an invitation to a Skype group chat. Eager to meet my heroes, I quickly applied and was approved.
The Group Chat Incident
I loved that chat. It started with 15 people, but slowly trickled down to nine, including myself. I found myself isolating myself away from my real life friends and family, too focused on the group chat, as they made dropping out of high school and staying online all day sound cool. I kissed up to them, desperate to be seen as a good person. But, soon, I began to question myself and the group. The mods were very against "problematic" content, like Killing Stalking, and NSFW depictions of minors, but were also quick to draw NSFW of minors (specifically Budo and Senpai from YS). I introduced them tot he game Boyfriend To Death, and one of them quickly latched on to the character of Rire, who brutally rapes the protagonist in game, despite them being against rape. The main mod even introduced the group to a game called Artificial Academy 2, in which you can rape others and be raped.
...There was a lot of rape and NSFW in that chat.
But, there was also a hierachy. At the top were the two main mods of that YS blog, Mod H and Mod J. Joining them at the top was a very cool person and a good artist who acted very much like an older sibling to all of us, Member M. Then, there were three more people who tended to kiss Mod H, Mod J, and Member M's asses, and at the bottom was me, my friend Foam, and Member C. Mod H was the ruler of that chat. Anything they said, went, and if you disagreed, they'd suddenly play victim, manipulating and gaslighting you into apologizing. They loved Dragon Age, and now that game has been forever tainted for me, considering how much they shoved it down my throat. They would also tease me and my interest in Persona 5 (saying that the protagonist looked like The Onceler, subsequently calling me a "Onceler Fucker" for finding him attractive, along with making fun of when my tongue slipped and pronounced "Goro" as "Gort"), only stopping when I had Foam address the group to tell them to stop. There was a livestream that I was really excited for, talking about it since it was announced and they seemed hyped for me as well. Only when I placed a rabb.it link in the chat so we could all watch, only Member C showed up. When I returned to that chat, they were watching Yuri On Ice, and they wouldn't even let me talk about my livestream.
During that time period, I created a group chat for me, Foam, and another internet friend I will call Emilia. I though Foam and Emilia would get along really well, so i formed a Skype chat with them, and allowed them to talk. Slowly though, me and Foam began to use that chat to bitch about the group chat behind their backs, because we were terrified of the backlash if we tried to criticize them to their faces, due to Mod H's tactics of avoiding conflict. We soon added Member C to the chat as well, after they were constantly getting dogpiled by the rest of the chat.
That December, the Bode meme was in full swing and Foam mentioned in the group chat that he didn't get it. The group chat immediately began to make fun of him and I, sick of letting them control our lives, stood up for him. The group chat just continued to dogpile and we continued to try and fight until Mod H eventually left the chat, in one of their methods to get us to apologize to them. I was feeling overwhelmed and also left, and Foam tried to surrender and tell the chat to stop, but they wouldn't let up and he left too. Member C was the only member we remained on good terms with who was still in the group chat.
I made a post on my blog saying that i didn't want to interact with those people anymore and they got mad and began to try and message me. I eventually messaged an official statement, citing their abuse of me and Foam, and blocked all of them across social media.
They created a fake blog to get around the block, and I was dumb enough to fall for it.
Member C even turned on us, revealing me and Foam's messages with her and claiming we were abusing and bullying them. Suffice to say, I cut off all contact with Member C and changed my main blog's URL.
I was harassed and stalked and I carried that fear of them looking at my blog for a long time. I still worry about it sometimes.
The worst part, in my opinion, was that I changed my own name that I had chosen for myself because it had become a trigger for me hearing them say it so many times. And I really, really loved that name.
There was so much hypocrisy, so much fear in that chat. Now, looking back, I wished I had never joined, but in those months after I left...I felt empty inside. Aimless.
Out of curiosity, I looked up cult behaviors, and that chat hit nearly every single one. It's scary looking back on it. Even writing this, over a year after I left, my heart hurts.
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But even leaving a cultish group chat didn't knock me out of anti-ism.
Villain Ships and Past Revelations
Remember how I mentioned that I love Persona 5? Well, I ship a ship called ShuAke, which a very loud subset of people claim is abusive.
Spoilers for Persona 5 up ahead.
ShuAke is a ship between the protagonist (shujinko in Japanese, which is where the "shu" comes from) and Goro Akechi. I shipped ShuAke since before Goro's name was announced, when all we knew was his design. Goro turned out to be a detective hunting the Phantom Thieves, the protagonist's group. The cat and mouse aesthetic really suited my fancy, with the protagonist's thief alter ego, Joker, seducing the naive Detective Prince. Swoon.
Of course, the ship shattered when the game was released in Japan and it turns out Goro tried to kill the protagonist, was working for the bad guy, and betrayed the whole group.
I was shocked and essentially went through the five stages of grief. I was torn between abandoning the "abusive" ship and evil character...or ignoring the haters and shipping it anyway. After way too much debate, I chose the latter and stuck with it.
The anti-ism died down quickly due to a lot of the fandom hibernating until the English release, and I happily shipped ShuAke and supported Goro Akechi with little objection. Even when the game was released in English, I stood my ground and even argued in support of Goro with anons.
And yet, I still considered myself an anti.
Late May of last year, some repressed memories came to light. I had been sexually abused by a close family member and a few girls at camp when I was younger, with other fragmented and questionable memories in my brain. It put my past into light, as I had also had a self destructive habit of attempting to seduce older men online, due to low self esteem. That was not a fun week for me, and I found myself diving into dark fic, particularly rape fic, in order to make sense of it all. I even wrote some in an effort to just get it out of my brain.
And it worked. It was really therapeutic for me.
And yet...
I still considered myself an anti. Every word I read or wrote was mixed with guilt over what I was doing, even though it worked. While I'm still a sexual abuse survivor, as I always will be, I'm much more well-adjusted by participating in those dark activities, rather than wallowing in self pity and slipping into a depression, like my old group chat would have expected me to do.
I dropped anti-ism later, with the help of one blog.
Back to "DL,DR"
The blog @anti-anti-survivor was recommended to me, and anti!me, looking for a laugh, clicked on it...and soon found that pretty much everything they said made sense to me. I saw Mod h in the people they argued with, Member C in the people they called out...and I realized that I had never been an anti, just hiding behind that label.
I sent an anonymous message to them (though I guess it isn't so anonymous anymore, ha), thanking them for opening my mind to it, and created my own anti-anti blog. I realize I'm not very active on here, but, well, I'm lazy and I'm more of a reader than anything else.
And of course, there was another problem.
Antis are fucking everywhere.
I'm terrified of posting pro-shipping stuff on my main, and I'm terrified of admitting I like problematic ships. I'm in a Discord server that keeps spouting anti-kink and anti-ship stuff, and I have to keep my mouth shut or risk being banned, just because most of the time they're really nice. Duchess even messaged me one day, absolutely shocked that I admitted to shipping Shidge.
I'm happy now that I don't have to feel that guilt but, reading what antis do and then finding out that people I hang out with are antis...it's horrifying. I'm not a confrontational person. I never have been. But I'm sick of rolling over and accepting what everyone else deems is problematic fiction.
I'm mentally ill, a sexual abuse survivor, and dark fic and dark shipping helps me cope.
Deal with it.
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heathenterkin · 6 years
Text
Taking Requests Again
Heya guys! I'm taking story requests again!
Now. I don't write anything dirty. I refuse to. If I get a request for a dirty fic I'll politely decline. If you harass me for one. I'll block you.
I'm a heavy horror writer (blood,guts,gore,death, you name it.) But that doesn't mean I can't write a good fluff.
Send me 1 for horror or 2 for fluff in my inbox.
For a person send me one of these:
a. Natewantstobattle/Nate Smith
b. Natemare
c. Matpat/Matthew Patrick
d. Antimatter/Madpat
e. Markiplier
f. Darkiplier
g. Jacksepticeye
h. Antisepticeye
i. Thomas Sanders
j. Projared
And give me a short description of the events you want.
All of my work goes up over on wattpad but if you can't get on to wattpad tell me and I'll arrange with you a delivery method.
My wattpad userr name is ShadowGrove. Check me out over there!
Thanks my dudes,
Shadow
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