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rafeandonlyrafe · 1 day

Text

pizza night

words: 2.2k

warnings: mentions/implications of sex but no actual smut, best friend!rafe, jealousy, angst but happy ending, friends to lovers, rafe with another girl, reader sleeps with kelce

“PIZZA NIGHT!” you shout, rafe letting out a whoop as you carry in the two boxes, plain cheese for you, and a mess of toppings for rafe.

“was worried you weren't gonna show up.” rafe glances at the clock. you're only about five minutes late, only running behind because the pizza place was busy and your order wasn't ready on time.

“as if i would miss our weekly pizza night.” you roll your eyes. you've had to shift times around occasionally to make sure you get the pizza night in, like for rafes football schedule, or you having to help your parents out at a fundraiser. for the past three years, it's been every thursday night, even both getting pizza from your respective locations while you facetime when you're not both in the outer banks.

“come here.” rafe opens his arms up to you. you step into his familiar hold, strong arms wrapping around you, tugging you against his chest. you inhale his scent, so uniquely rafe.

he's been your best friend for as long as you can remember, your parents being friends when both became pregnant around the same time. you did everything together. pizza nights started as plum puree, as your mom loves to joke.

“what do you wanna watch tonight?” rafe asks, knowing whatever you put on will soon become background noise to your chatting, rafe happy to listen to any gossip you have to say.

“umm…” you tap your finger against your chin as rafe plates your pizza for you, loading his plate with three slices for himself. you know he's already got your preferred drink sitting on the coffee table. “mulan.”

“sure.” rafe nods. he used to argue when he was younger. you'd want barbie swan lake or a romcom while he prefered superheroes and action. he learned throughout your friendship to just not fight it.

you immediately start to tell rafe the latest gossip, filling him in on everything he's missed since you saw him last, even though it was only two days ago.

“oh and you'll never guess!” you squeal. “callie, my friend from florida?” you see if the name jogs rafes memory, which he quickly nods. how could he forget. the one other friend that competes with him, despite you only seeing her for weeks at a time when you went to visit your grandparents in florida. “she's coming to the outer banks! she's gonna stay with us for the summer while her parents travel.”

“oh, nice.” rafe nods. he's happy for you, he really is, but he hopes she's not going to get in the way of his time with you, especially pizza night.

“girl, why didn’t you tell me rafe is hot as fuck?” callie giggles, looking out the window where rafe and a couple of his friends are chatting on the patio.

“ew.” you scrunch your nose up. you mean the criticism about callie finding him attractive, not about rafes looks, but callie doesn’t take it that way as she rolls her eyes.

“seriously, he’s so fine.” she slices into another lemon, handing one half to you as you squeeze it to make fresh lemonade.

you just frown. you don’t want callie to find rafe attractive and you’re not sure why the jealous feeling builds in your gut, so you quickly change the subject.

“wanna come to a party friday night? at kelces.” you question.

“oh my god, yes.” callie nods, helping you carry out cups while you bring out the pitcher of lemonade, pouring a glass for yourself and whichever one of your friends also wants one before sitting next to rafe.

callie takes the open spot on the other side of him as the conversation instantly strikes back up. you remain quieter than normal, eyes flicking between them as you watch them interact. you’re glad they’re getting along, truly, but you feel like gouging your eyes out when callie laughs and places her hand on his bicep.

“you okay?” rafe asks after everyone else had gone home, callie having taken your car back to your place to shower while you plan on asking rafe to drive you home.

“yeah.” you put on a wide smile. “whats up?”

“you just seem quieter than usual.” rafe watches your face carefully, noting the way your face falls before you perk back up with a shake of your head.

“nope, im fine. just glad you're getting along with callie!”

“speaking of…” rafe pulls his phone out, handing it to you. “can i have her number?”

“oh… yeah.” you nod quickly, grabbing his phone and typing in her number. you have it memorized along with rafes and your mom and dads, the only ones you’ve typed in enough to know by heart. “why do you want it though?”

“i thought i’d get to know her a bit.” rafe shrugs.

“okay.” you force a smile on your face before standing up. “im gonna walk home. see you thursday for pizza night!”

“y/n, wait-” rafe tries to call you back, but you’ve already disappeared into the house.

you struggle to knock on the door with the pizza boxes in your arms. usually its unlocked, or rafe is there to open it for you the second your car pulls in the driveway.

“shit.” rafe opens the door, his face pale.

“what?” you shove past him, needing to set the cardboard boxes down.

you walk into the kitchen, going to place the boxes down on the counter when you realize there is already a box sitting there, opened up with a couple slices missing. you carefully slide the boxes out of your arms onto the marble before looking at rafe.

“i-i forgot-” rafe says as you look into the living room, seeing callie sat on the couch, her eyes on the television screen as she takes a bite of pizza.

“you forgot about our pizza night?” you question, not even trying to hide your tears this time as they form in your eyes.

“i just didn’t realize it was thursday, y/n i-”

“its fine.” you shake your head, heading towards the door. you need to leave before your emotions explode.

“y/n, please.” rafe grabs your hand right as you reach for the doorknob.

“no.” you turn around to look at rafe, knowing that there are tears streaming down your cheeks, yet you still attempt to force a smile. “no, go. have fun with her.”

you pull out of his grasp and leave, rafe standing on the front porch watching you drive away.

“coming to the party?” callie asks, wearing a tiny dress with high heels, showing off her flawless legs.

“nah.” you shake your head. “im feeling kinda tired.”

“alright.” callie frowns, but doesn’t push you any farther as she walks towards the front door, looking back once before leaving.

you are genuinely tired. you stayed up all last night waiting to hear callie arrive back at your house from rafes. she didn’t get home until 10 in the morning the next day. you know rafe has slept with girls before, but usually when he’s way too drunk after a party, and never with a girl you considered your friend.

you turn the tv on to a random channel, just needing something to distract yourself and stop you from crying again.

hours tick by as the sun sets, your eyes burning from staring at the television and holding back tears when a sudden knock on the door makes you jump.

you stand up, hoping its rafe, hoping he’s coming to apologize and to put all his attention back on you. you feel bad when you open the door and see its topper, your face no doubt giving away your disappointment.

“y/n, are you okay?” he asks. “you aren’t at the party.” he states the obvious as you stand in your sweatpants and a flimsy tanktop.

“just not feeling it.” you shrug.

“is it… callie and rafe?” topper asks. he doesn’t need you to confirm as tears well in your eyes.

“i-i like him. i didn’t even realize until i saw them together.” you finally admit it to yourself why you’re so upset.

“shit.” topper pulls you into a hug as you cry into his shirt, glad for his comfort as he rubs his hand up and down your back, hoping he can help you feel better.

“i shouldn’t be telling you this…” topper sighs. “but kelce has a crush on you. if you want to go to the party and… i don’t know, make rafe jealous back.”

“he won’t get jealous.” you shake your head. “he likes her.”

topper just stares at you with a look of pity. so in your head about your friendship that you can’t even put together the pieces that rafe likes you back.

you look down at your outfit. honestly, you can’t even manage to put on anything other than your crocs, you’re not going to change into a dress and heels just to dance up on a guy you don’t even really like.

“just come wearing that.” topper says, sensing your apprehension. “im serious, you look good. it’ll show how different you are then all the other girls there.”

you look back into your house at your couch, the tv still turned on before looking back to topper. he nods at you with encouragement.

“i need to get drunk immediately.” you tell him as he laughs, pulling you out the door.

you let out a groan as you turn over, snuggling into water warm body is wrapped around you as sleep slowly clears from your head.

“good morning, beautiful.” kelce says, making you blink your eyes open as the memories of last night come back, of ignoring rafe and callie dancing together as you move to kelce. topper was beyond right about the outfit as you captured the eye of most of the guys there, especially rafe as he tried to get your attention, but you were up in kelces room before he could steal you away.

it felt good to sleep with kelce, but not completely right.

“morning.” you smile. kelce is handsome, especially with the warm morning light shining in on the two of you, but your heart hurts as you wish it was rafes face you were looking into.

“can i have you again?” kelce asks, reaching down to grab your ass.

“yeah.” you nod with a smile. another distraction won’t hurt.

“where were you?” rafe asks as you arrive home, not expecting to see him snuggled up to callie on the couch.

“sleeping with kelce.” you say with a shrug. if rafe isn’t gonna hide his relationship with callie, you certainly aren’t going to hide what you were doing either.

“he doesn’t care about you, y/n.” rafe stands up, callies face shifting to one of worry as she looks between the two of you, realization sinking in. “he just wants to sleep with you.”

“okay, and?” you laugh, a bitter, spiteful laugh. “he’s got a big dick, and maybe i just wanted to sleep with him too.”

you stomp away towards your room, blaring music from your speaker the second you’re inside. you don’t want to hear any noise rafe and callie might make as you flop down on your bed, quickly falling asleep despite the blaring music.

the music being turned down wakes you up as someone sits on your bed. you groan and turn onto your back, expecting to see rafe.

“callie?” you question, glancing at the bag slung over his shoulder and the suitcase sitting in your open doorway.

you sit up quickly. “are you going to stay with rafe?”

“no.” she says with a gentle laugh and shake of her head. “im going back to florida.”

“what?” you question.

“i didn’t mean to come between you and him. i thought you didn’t like him. i… i don’t want this to ruin our friendship, so i’m leaving. he was fun to be with, but it was never serious for either of us. he’s serious about you.”

the words sink in as you look to her with hope in your eyes. “you talked to him about it?”

“i did.” she smiles with a gentle nod, glancing towards the clock on your nightstand. “the taxi is waiting outside to take me to the airport.”

you shoot forward to wrap your arms around callie, pulling her into a tight hug. “thank you.”

“of course.” she holds you back just as tight. “come visit me in florida, okay?”

you nod enthusiastically before she gets up to leave.

“finally.” topper sighs with relief as he opens the door to tanneyhill. “i’ve been trying to get him to go over and talk to you for the past four hours.” topper pulls you inside before you can even react. “seriously, you guys just need to date already. he slept with callie, you slept with kelce, and now you’re even. go make out.” topper shoves you into the living room before fleeing.

it takes a second for rafe to look up, his eyes red with tears.

“i had no clue.” rafe shakes his head. “i had no clue you liked me. i never would have done anything with callie if i knew. i thought i’d never get to have you, so i thought settling for your friend would be the next best thing.”

“i don’t like you.” you say before quickly clarifying. “i love you, rafe.”

rafe is standing and making his way towards you so quickly that you don’t even process his movements until his lips meet yours in a fierce kiss.

you hesitate for a moment before kissing back, feeling his arms wrap around your body, holding you tight to him, not allowing you to escape or leave ever again.

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saiidahyunie · 3 days

Text

you in my heart

chou tzuyu x f!reader

synopsis: if i can keep myself close to cherish you, then my heart will forever be in your hands.

warnings: fluff ; angst ? ; friends to lovers ; clc elkie and sana appear!

a/n: this fic is my creative writing lifeline soooooo :P

chou tzuyu doesn’t like idiots.

in the many years of her glorious friendship with you, tzuyu has watched, in all scopes, just how damn impatient you were about your decisions. she’s seen it all - whether it’s simply put in which you threw caution to the wind and helped tzuyu ditch school just for a quick detour to the beach as a way to cheer her up after the argument she had with her parents.

(might to add, that happened in the one week of getting to know each other.)

or, whether it would be the way tzuyu saw you drawing, once and decided that the route of art was the destination. better yet, the slight hitch of breath of your decision - last second- of moving in with tzuyu, on the day her lease was up for renewal.

these many things between the fine lines of dumb and stupid could not have prepared tzuyu for this:

you being settled on the floor with a dark red shirt that had a white minimal graphic with the name of the brand being something from your dad’s work, hair set off neatly off to the side with a hint of fringe peaking at the top, an apple juice box in your hands washing down the ritz crackers you swiped from the box, without knowing how it fans the flames in every one of tzuyu’s nerves.

you look at tzuyu, holding your gaze, jaw moving with two chewed crackers in your mouth, before averting your eyes to the crushed juice box next to you.

“tzuyu,” you say, fingers fast on the wrapper fishing out another cracker. “you’re not gonna eat?”

tzuyu says nothing, only shaking her head before settling back against the leg of the sofa, crossing her arms against her chest.

“tzuyu,” you whine, grabbing her wrist that had pinches of salt all over your fingertips, “why are you not saying anything?”

as if tzuyu can ever ignore the constant pull that she feels towards you.

“what’s going on?” tzuyu asks you now, knowing that nothing positive ever comes out of your mouth when she’s soaking in this tone that you’re presenting, voice breaking high and towards the end, as though you wouldn’t be able to breath right if tzuyu does not talk to you, or look at you.

“you’re a girl right?”

tzuyu blinks once, doe eyes out in the open space while she’s unable to guess the trajectory that this conversation might go.

“yes, and?”

you smile, bright and warm, tzuyu nudges closer until her knee touches your thigh.

“cool! me too!” you say. “well, i don’t know, actually. but, the point is that i’ve never dated a girl before. have you?”

tzuyu’s sexuality has been acknowledged, conveyed, and accepted between the both of you without any real sense of words. you had always been perceptive, and when tzuyu’s eyes wandered on only at he women in the movies that she used to watch together with you during high school, you knew that your best friend was a lesbian, and squeezed her hand firmly to let her know that.

it was never really discussed after that, until now.

your sexuality, in tandem, has been acknowledged, conveyed, and accepted between the both of you devidating your realization through a sudden urge to declare the moment out loud on a random day. you tumbled your way onto tzuyu a week ago, holding her hands tight, screaming about how you barely realized that you were bisexual and how “everything makes so much sense to me!”

ever since that day, tzuyu had to witness the only person she has loved even before she knew how to love someone else flirting with nearly everyone. she could only be supportive of her best friend’s journey up til this point.

“i haven’t,” tzuyu replies.

your face lights up, eyebrows arched and eyes wide open. “well, have you kissed another girl before?”

tzuyu suddenly feels like she is neck deep in water that she’s not used to swimming in, struggling to keep herself afloat in her mind. “i…have.”

your face beams more brighter than before it diminishes into the stark emptiness of the night after the flames on a bonfire slowly wither away. “hey,” you say. “you didn’t tell me about that, tzu! we’re besties, aren’t you supposed to tell me everything?”

tzuyu scoots herself over to put a hand on your shoulder. “it was a long time ago,” she says. the world of sapphism was something beautiful to be apart of. seeing the pride parties to be an enlightenment of sorts while also pulling the heart in a more wrenching way. she wanted to belong there with the vast crowd of people but was also aware that she doesn’t want to put herself into that space, if it meant leaving your side.

“it doesn’t really matter now.”

“hey.” you say, scooting closer to match her. tzuyu’s hand lingers on your shoulder before letting go. “of course, it does. was it any good?”

tzuyu doesn’t recall much from those separate experiences, let alone want to remember any from long ago. “yes, i think so. but it was like years since then, so it doesn’t matter.”

“what makes you say that? why did you stop yourself? are you going to be kissing girls when we go to that pride party next week?”

“i told you, y/n. it doesn’t matter. why are you even asking about this?”

you have another smile spread across, hands moving up and down tzuyu’s arm, causing a ripple effect of goosebumps rising on the crook of her neck. “i have something to ask you.”

when you pull your hands away, picking a cracker from the new stack you just opened, holding against tzuyu’s lips.

when tzuyu makes no move to open her mouth, your encourage her by nodding despite becoming more and more doting and impatient (which was on brand for your antics).

tzuyu merely holds it against her teeth, unwilling to take a bit nor choke on the bit after your request.

you take a deep breath, and twine your hands with hers, looking into her eyes steadily.

“i want you to kiss me.”

these several plus years of friendship that tzuyu will never get enough of, tired was also out of the question. nothing could’ve prepared her for the opportunity of hearing those words that deeply carve out one of the core instincts that she has been fighting to keep within.

the cracker falls out of tzuyu’s mouth.

you, on the other hand, face full of optimism and hope immediately replaced with frowns from the fallen cracker sitting on tzuyu’s lap, picking it up. your fingers brush against her hip bone, and tzuyu suppresses a gasp.

also, you’re oblivious to tzuyu’s inner crisis, looking at the cracker before biting it, in the same spot more than a third of the cracker is caught between your teeth.

“what are you saying?”

“i want you to kiss me.” you say, seriously, after chewing the last part of the cracker that will haunt tzuyu’s dreams for the coming decades.

“why?”

“do people need a reason to kiss each other, tzuyu?”

“when the people in the problem set are one’s best friends, then of course.”

you sigh, troubled. “fine,” you say, not willing to look up from where you fidget with the ripped wrapper of the cracker stack. “you got me. i have a date with a girl this weekend and i have never kissed a girl, ever. i want it to be good for her. you’ve kissed a girl, and i want you to assess me.”

“assess you?”

nodding to tzuyu’s question. “i want it to be good for her, tzu! besides, you’re one of the few people that i trust the most. i want you to kiss me and tell me how it is. now are you gonna help me?”

a few seconds of silence pass that the weight of it envelops every fabric and cell of their being, you begin to fiddle with the hem of your shirt, a habit that you procured in times of nervousness.

“forget it,” you say abruptly. “i know that sana has kissed girls before. i’ll ask her—”

“no!”

“no?”

“no,” tzuyu says, holding your face between her soft hands. “i’ll do it,” she says. “i’ll help you with this.”

—

you taste like a wintergreen mint.

tzuyu tilts her head up, one hand spread across the back of your neck, the other, holding your chin so that she can deepen the kiss, until tzuyu herself begins to taste the minty aroma and feel like stardust.

tzuyu also should’ve been keeping an open ear to the cautionary tune her heart laid out in front of her. her mind should’ve also said the same thing the way her brain racked the sole idea of kissing you for practice. nothing good would come out of this. you will kiss another girl sometime this weekend and many other girls after that, but tzuyu is weak and in love and can’t fathom not kissing you, not when you asked it yourself.

your arms are coiled around tzuyu’s long neck, pulling her closer than ever before, even though the meters between the two of you now are only separated by the thin layers of clothes. gently trailing her fingers from your chin to your neck and waist, tzuyu hauls you up until you settle on her lap.

the both of you break apart for a second, your eyes with a glint to them, dazed, glossy pink lips still parted, bodies molding together oh-so perfectly.

it was you who kissed tzuyu for the first time, so tzuyu takes it upon herself to press your forehead with hers, chasing your lips for more. the kiss itself is less frantic and more gentle, taking her time skimming her hands across your back, tilting your head towards her, trailing your hands every single spot possible in the hopes of grasping something. eventually, you fingers are in her hair, taking apart the ponytail and running your fingers through it again.

love me, tzuyu mouths out while she kisses you. love me, only me, no one else, just me.

tzuyu’s lips find your jaw, feathery kisses until she meets the fork where your ear and neck meet. you let out a small noise from the bottom of your throat and tzuyu wants to have it all, to revel in it, keep it close to herself in her heart for the eons of years to pass. she finds her way to your neck, and the idea of marking you, to show the mystery girl that you’ll see know that she was here first, and with the premonition that she’ll stay with you forever–

under the crook of your neck, in the palms of your hands, hooked on your ribs as if the set numbers were like lifelines; anywhere, wherever you see fit.

when you two finally break apart this time, you open your eyes, blinking rapidly to erase the remnants of the daze that was clouding the both of you, smiling softly that tzuyu thinks she’s in a dream. although, it wouldn’t be the first time that she’s dreamt something dangerously real, can’t accept the facts.

but your body is warm between tzuyu’s palms, floral scent draping all of her sense. you were as real as you can be. tzuyu feels nervous with the pricks

of sweat coating her neck, heart rate struggling to keep calm inside her chest, threatening to break free from the cages.

in her dreams, your eyes wouldn’t suddenly widen in disbelief, you wouldn’t clutch onto tzuyu’s shoulders, not willing to meet tzuyu’s eyes after that.

a block forms, tugging from the depths of tzuyu’s chest.

“y/n,” tzuyu asks, voice horse. “did i go too far?”

you snap your eyes towards tzuyu, in fact not meeting her eyes, rapidly shaking your head. “no, not at all.” you answer, tone shrill. “but a–, that was—was really good.”

finally meeting tzuyu’s eyes, your face swept in a vibrant pink.

“that was?”

you, in a flurry of sudden actions, pat tzuyu’s hair to flatten it, pinching her cheek, before breaking apart the bubble of a minty fulfilled dream that just happened a few seconds ago. “is that even a question?” you ask, licking your lips. “kissing girls is so different from kissing boys,” you say. “i liked this a lot. was it, um, w-was it good for you?”

“what are you talking about?” tzuyu laughs, seeing a smile on your face. “you’re a good kisses,” she says, trying to be as objective as she can. this was a test, an experiment after all. not an outcry of feelings. “you know what you’re doing, so it won’t be bad for you this weekend when you go. i’m sure of that.”

standing up, you pat down your shirt and sweatpants, saying, “okay good, i’m—i’m happy that it was good for you because it was good for me, clearly, and i–shoot—i should probably—”

you don’t spare tzuyu another glance, running off to your room, the slam of the door echoed through the walls.

tzuyu just sits there, back against the leg of the sofa, the half-eaten stack of crackers and empty glasses of water on the table, enthralling her attention as if they were people who just witnessed something out in public. her head hits the cushion behind her, clenching the scream wanting to be unleashed from inside her.

for the reminder of how reality works in this world, things will–not remain the same between her and you. the air was already heavy with tension, anchored with tzuyu’s feeling, suspended in time with the words captive in the nooks and cracks of her body.

tzuyu will have to learn how to live with the knowledge of how you taste, the small noises you make, the way your face shapes when her mouth is on yours, eyes closed as you chase tzuyu’s mouth like it was the last thing you had to do.

she doesn’t know how to recover from this information.

—

the two of you don’t talk about it.

few days pass, and tzuyu leaves her pottery class. you arrive a few hours after you were sure that tzuyu was asleep.

(she wasn’t asleep. in fact, she was waiting for you to come home. only able to fully rest when the sound of the door opening and closing, the soft sounds of your feet hitting the wood in and around the house.)

you and tzuyu have a thursday class together in music theory, sharing a shaken look between each other when the paths cross to the living room.

“you wanna leave together?” you ask, strangely nervous with a pensive look on your face.

tzuyu nods her head, and that was it.

you two don’t talk about it still, because there’s nothing to be discussed.

after dinner, tzuyu finds herself going along to being kissed by you again. more practice never hurt anybody, or anyone for that matter.

tzuyu slides in her bed with a heavy heat, lips aflame with the phantom stir of yours on them.

it’s okay, she thinks. it’s gonna be okay. i’ll be okay.

—

“you’re leaving?” tzuyu asks you on saturday, realizing in a manner that your date was today. a date, the whole reason you kissed tzuyu.

you look dashing, transcendent beyond existence. tzuyu loves you so much.

nervously, you start messing with the flimsy fabric of your dress pants, “i am,” you say, “did you want something?”

“no,” tzuyu lies, heart clogging her throat.

you take a step closer, breaking the bubble around tzuyu. “did you want to say something?”

“no,” tzuyu lies again, heart in her hands.

“okay then.” you say, “i’ll be going now.”

“okay.” tzuyu replies. “have fun on your date.”

something omniscient falls over the ever-constant glow on your face. “i will, i’m sure of it.”

tzuyu feels her pulse accelerate, hands clenching and unclenching in succession. there’s so much that she wants to blurt out. so much that will ruin the close friendship that she has with you. but being selfish isn’t the way to go, the risk that is carried by making her feelings your problems too.

it’ll be fine, tzuyu tells herself. this will pass too. she’s fine, she’s okay, she’s breathing—and if she keeps beating it down her being, maybe her heart won’t feel like it’s being trampled on.

everything will be okay, this will all work out in the end.

—

“something is wrong,” sana begins, eating her french fry, the same evening when she invites herself to tzuyu’s home with a bag of food and snacks. “you’re not okay.”

“everything is great!” tzuyu says, chasing down her words with half of a boba drink. “and, i am okay.”

sana’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “it’s not really you to lie in front of my face.”

“i need you to stop prying.”

“is it because y/n’s on that date right now?”

“sana, i’m fine.”

“shut up, it is, isn’t it?!”

“sana!”

“okay, i’ll stop,” sana says, raising her hands in surrender. “i believe you. everything is okay and you are doing fine.”

—

you don’t offer more information about your date other than just saying, “we should go watch that one movie together, tzuyu.”

tzuyu doesn’t even bother asking either.

two days after, you come bearing another tempting proposition that steals tzuyu’s breath away—literally.

“that one barista from the cafe we regularly go to asked me out,” you say, already straddling tzuyu’s lap. “i didn’t kiss that girl from saturday and i think i’m a little iffy about my–technique. can you help me with it again?”

tzuyu tears down the banners of doubts in her mind, providing her mouth pressing against yours, feeling like the can finally breath now after not being able to for so long.

she doesn’t bother asking you about it, again.

—

more and more kisses are being shared in the days leading up to your date. always in the evening, an hour before going to bed.

tzuyu finds out all the different ways in which you like being kissed. even though an unspoken boundary between them is crossed past the point of rational thinking. she finds herself putting up a boundary before it becomes all too much, too fast. like her soul feels like it’s being robbed of once those walls are up, but it’s okay.

tzuyu tells herself that it’s okay. she will live through this.

she’s fine, and everything’s gonna be okay.

—

when you come back from the date, drunk, the sleep is immediately left from tzuyu’s body, and she’s alert, awake on the sofa. she puts her book and the small blanket back in their places, walking over to help you remove your shoes and find your way back into the house.

you look at tzuyu with a blearily smile, holding onto her waist tightly. “hi,” you say, grinning.

“hi,” tzuyu greets back, holding onto you as you’re sliding on the floor, head lolling back on the head of the sofa. “are you alright?”

“amazing!” you answer, giddy.

“how was your date?”

tzuyu blinks one eye open, grinning sarcastically. “oh? you didn’t ask me how it went the last time. this is a sign.”

“you didn’t tell me anything either,” tzuyu also points out.

you sigh, slumping your head on tzuyu’s toned shoulder. “true,” you mumble. “i guess it was okay.”

“just okay?”

tzuyu feels you nodding your head. “i am so tired, tzu!” you whine, nudging your head closer. tzuyu suppresses a shudder as she feels your eyelids fluter closed against her neck. “i’m gonna fall asleep right here, okay?”

“that’s okay,” tzuyu says, pressing her fingertips into your scalp, just the way that you like it.

“you’re the best,” you mumble again, sounding half-asleep. “do you know that? you’re the very best, tzu.”

tzuyu doesn’t know how to respond without revealing the very depth of everything she feels about you.

“i guess,” your whisper is like a knife through the curtain of silence between the two of you. “i guess the problem is that no one is you. they don’t kiss the way that you do.”

tzuyu’s heart stops. “y/n, what do you mean?”

…

“y/n?”

…

a lack of a reply prompts tzuyu to thread her fingers through your hair, gently tapping your shoulder. “y/n.” she softly calls. “don’t you know to not say things like this to me?” she whispers too, confident that you were asleep. your breath steady, head heavy.

you mumble something closely incoherent, and your head sags into tzuyu’s chest.

despite the tumultuous beat of her heart, tzuyu finds herself smiling, as she cradles your head, hoping that laying on her lap would be more comfortable for you, and drapes the blanket over your legs.

“that’s the issue with me, too.” tzuyu says while palming your hair. “i guess i stopped kissing other people because they weren’t you. i wish i could stop looking for you in every person that i meet.”

—

it’s not like tzuyu was not aware of the happy hour event that’s regularly held at that one bar that the friend group usually ends up in at a night like this, but it’s just that she didn’t care enough about it, especially after living for about three months in a new city.

two days after you realized that you were bisexual, you looked at the poster that announced the party for the lgbtq community happening on a friday night well off into the new semester with a newfound excitement. “we should go here!” you shrieked while pointing at the poster. “i didn’t even know that this was a thing.”

“it’s a thing alright,” tzuyu answers, resigning herself to the fate of ending up at that party, especially a few weeks before happening.

“have you ever been to a party like this?”

“not a lot, but a few.” tzuyu replies. “they’re interesting.” and unfamiliar, because they’re loud and crowded. the heavy bass of music blasting through the speakers, making her heart match to the beat of the rhythm.

“well, you should show me around then!” you had said, and that was it.

now, about a little over three weeks or so after tzuyu first made out with her best friend only to help you practice for dates with people that weren’t tzuyu, standing in front of the said best friend, trying to obviously leer at your appearance.

you were wearing a white crop top shirt with ripped jeans layered with a black leather jacket. this outfit in particular had been printed in tzuyu’s brain since she saw you wear it for the first time—and a one piece dress

you catch tzuyu looking and wink. “what? i look good, don’t i?”

‘good’ doesn’t even begin to cover it, but tzuyu nods, nonetheless.

bounding up with tzuyu, arms interlocked together. “thank you!” you exclaim. “you have to look great too! when did you buy this blouse?” you ask, gesturing at tzuyu’s outfit. “i have to borrow it one day,” you say, as you make your way outside the house, head resting on tzuyu’s shoulder.

“okay,” tzuyu readily agrees despite it being her favorite blouse and your tendency to not return her clothes after ‘borrowing’ them.

the club is crowded by the time you reach there—full of people that tzuyu recognizes the way gay people tend to recognize each other across the campus, and those she does not.

your face is set with an ever-present grin, taking in the clamour and infecting excitement of energy that’s radiating of all the people here. all eyes were on you and you just seem to bask in it, but your eyes were on tzuyu. there’s a low glo to you. the only person glowing in a sea of people. tzuyu is so in love with you that it aches, it aches, and it aches.

“let’s dance!” you yell over the sound of the booming music.

tzuyu is pulled into your arms the minute she agrees to it. sinking into your arms as though she always belonged there should be weird, tzuyu thinks. it’s supposed to be weird, especially because you and her couldn’t even look at each other until a few days ago, until you came back home drunk and slept on tzuyu’s lap.

but it isn’t. this feels as natural as breathing, normal like your heart beating, the sun rising, the world turning painstakingly slow.

colorful lights dance on your face as you pull tzuyu close, hands curling around her neck. tzuyu, helplessly in love, holding you by the waist and sways with some sense of rhythm to the music.

you pull tzuyu closer, so that her ear is met with your lips. “is this how it always is?”

“i think so,” tzuyu replies. save for a few strobe lights, the night seems the same as it always does. it must feel different for you though. “how do you feel?” tzuyu asks, resting her chin on your shoulder.

“good!” you cheer. “like, i didn’t even know that there were so many of us here! i truly believed that it would be less crowded. in fact, it is more.”

tzuyu nods, clutching her hands tighter around your waist.

you sway and dance together, sometimes following the rhythm of the songs blasting out of the subwoofers, and the other times creating your own rhythm entirely, but that doesn’t matter.

what matters to tzuyu—at this moment and all the others that have happened and will—is this; your bright smile reserved only for her, your warm hands around hers, your feet falling in step with her, your laughter when you dip down into her, or the high pitched call of her name that makes her twirl in her mind, the gaze fixated on her lips, the grasp on her heart: for now and always forever (in hope) will be you. and only you.

you and tzuyu break apart when you loudly demand that you’re thirsty and need a drink. tzuyu, helpless to do anything else, clutches your hand and makes you follow, even though she can’t wade through the crowd of strangers by the bar.

tzuyu is grateful that the thump of the music in this area is a lot less, deciding on standing a few feet away, looking at you valiantly finding her way towards the bartender, jumping only when she feels a tap against her shoulder.

elkie, one of the other friends that tzuyu is very familiar with, perhaps a year her senior, stands across her with a broad smile on her lips.

“it’s been so long since i saw you here,” she says, stepping closer. “how are you doing?”

“good,” tzuyu replies with a smile. “how bout you?”

the music picks up in volume where they are, causing them to stand closer which isn’t entirely ideal, but it’s alright. elkie is good company, and tzuyu doesn’t mind.

“are you looking for someone?” elkie asks, when she notices tzuyu look into the crowd of people at the bar station trying to see someone in a black leather jacket. “do you want me to help you find them?”

“just my friend.” tzuyu replies, turning towards elkie. “she went in to get drinks for us and hasn’t come out yet.”

elkie laughs. “she’ll come back, i’m sure. but tell me about you, tzuyu. are you dating someone?”

tzuyu darts her eyes away from elkie. “i’m not actually, no.”

elkie eyes brighten. “well, if that’s the case, call me if you want? you do have my number, right?”

tzuyu blinks, before the realization dawns on her. “oh,” she says. “no.” she replies, turning towards elkie.

“elkie, i—”

elkie’s eyes widen with an understanding. “ah, you’re not seeing someone, but you do like someone,” she infers. tzuyu doesn’t say anything, only turning sideways to the crowd in which you have disappeared to. “yeah,” she replies, looking back at elkie.

she nods, gently holding tzuyu’s shoulders. “i get that,” elkie says. “i hope you figure it out, whatever that may be.”

“thank you.”

elkie smiles back, and plants a kiss on the corner of tzuyu’s mouth. “i think i saw someone i didn’t want to see, so i’m gonna run now,” she says. “don’t be a stranger, okay? let’s meet up for some lunch sometime—as friends, of course.”

tzuyu smiles, patting her back neatly. “i will.”

elkie excuses herself, walking swiftly past tzuyu, vanishing into the crowd.

out of a bad habit set in the last fifteen minutes or so, tzuyu looks sideways to the crowd that you had ventured into, only to meet your distraught face.

your face even turns furious when tzuyu meetes your eyes, but the undercurrent of hurt is open and raw. tzuyu instantly takes a step forward by instinct, wondering what caused it, relizing that you must’ve seen elkie kissing her cheek for this anger to be directed at tzuyu. but it shouldn’t bother you as much as it did—because why would it, it’s not like you to be jealous, because that would imply that you like—

huh.

“you were here with me.” you shout over the music, steamrolling over close enough for tzuyu to see the shimmer on your skin. “we came here together.”

“y/n—”

“if you dont’ like me back,” you start, shoulders dipping down in defeat.

well, shit.

tzuyu’s body breaks at that.

“if you don’t like me back, then just say it instead of making me witness whatever the hell i just saw,” you say, drinking the entirety of the fizzy orange behemoth of a drink that was in your hand in one swig, and slamming tzuyu’s shot glass on the table.

—

tzuyu finds you leaning against someone’s car, staring up at the sky.

she wordlessly covers your exposed shirt with the leather jacket you dropped on the way out of the club.

“that was elkie,” tzuyu breaks the silence. “she’s one of the few people that i know from coming to these parties. i guess we somewhat keep in touch now. we don’t like each other romantically. never, no.”

you blink, while looking at her, nodding while fixing your leather jacket to fit it more better on your shoulders.

“tzuyu,” you say. “what i said before—”

“is it true? tzuyu asks, urgency seeping in her words by the millisecond. “do you truly like me?”

you look at tzuyu, broken. “i wore this outfit for you,” you say again. “i hate stiff leather.”

tzuyu looks at you again, out of depth completely.

“i hate this jacket but i love the way you look at me when i wear it. so i wore it today, with you. the only person i could see in this crowd today was you, tzuyu,” you say. “i came up with a silly, stupid excuse to kiss you. so you tell me if what i said was true or not.”

“a stupid excuse?”

“i didn’t have any dates,” you laugh without levity. “i had people asking me out, yes, but i couldn’t agree because they’re not you, tzuyu. the only person i want to go on a date with. the only person i want to kiss and be kissed is by you. so i lied to your face and told you that i wanted to practice. i made up with a terrible excuse to kiss you that doesn’t even make sense because i thought you could, maybe like me back too! and it really felt like you did, but then i see that and-”

“i like you.”

you stop your train of thought from the sentence that just came out of tzuyu’s lips. “what did you say?”

“i like you too,” tzuyu says, as rushed as she could say. “i like you so much. so, so much. it’s—”

“you…what!?” you jolt with unbridled astonishment, crying, turning to grab tzuyu by the shoulders.

“why do you think i kept kissing you?” tzuyu asks with ardor. “i liked you too much to say no. i just—i couldn’t. and i wanted to go on dates with you and kiss you without having a reason, but i just couldn’t.”

a bitter laugh leaves your lips, head hung down while you kick your sneakers into the asphalt.

“you could—you could have,” you say, nodding in fervor. “you could have. i really, really wanted you to.”

“i just didn’t know,” tzuyu says, regretfully, cupping your face. “and i’m sorry that i didn’t.”

your eyes flutter shut. “well, you do now.” you say. “you know that i like you. i like you so, so much, tzu.”

“you know that i like you too. so, so much.”

your eyes open again, teasing a glint quite apparent. “so, what are you going to do with this information, then?” you ask.

tzuyu, with her heart fluttering endlessly in her chest, brings you closer. with eyes closed, you meet tzuyu in the middle.

you taste like beer, candy blossoms, and heaven. you taste like everything that tzuyu wanted, everything that tzuyu could ever want or need in her life.

i love you, tzuyu mouths into yours as she kisses you. i love you, love you, love you.

when you eventually break apart, a smile sprays across your lips, leaning in close, foreheads pressed together, one of tzuyu’s hands on your chest, right where the heart is patting frantically. “i love you, tzu.”

another kiss is shared again, this time more slowly as the both of you took in the taste of exchanging lips, not wanting to ever pull away. it’s just you and tzuyu, entrapped in that silly little world that you and her have built around for so many years, now elevated to a new echelon.

chou tzuyu doesn't like idiots.

but there was something about being with you as an idiot that makes it tolerable to deal with, and she doesn't mind that.

brushing your lips against tzuyu’s, you’re giggling and she follows.

“i’ll embrace you like this, forever.”

#twice x reader #kpop x reader #hyunie #twice imagines #tzuyu imagines #twice tzuyu #chou tzuyu #tzuyu x reader #twice fluff #tzuyu fluff #chou tzuyu x reader

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heesdreamer · 2 days

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IN MY ROOM

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

WARNINGS ➩ none really, unresolved angst and one sided heartbreak

WC ➩ 2.6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Normally I don’t write small drabbles but obsessed with this song and wanted to do something for it. No full fic for this or part 2 sorry it’s supposed to hurt! I highly suggest listening while listening or beforehand since it’s fully inspired by the lyrics and vibe

I like when it's dark out, October will cure me

I'm walking these woods, am I thirty or thirteen?

The size of your heart seemed to grow and shrink with the seasons, always fluttering and aching depending on the shade of the trees and sometimes it felt like it got quiet all together.

You figured out a long time ago that the actual shape of it and your anatomy wasn’t changing and instead you were just an over emotional person (if there was such a thing). Your mother blamed it on your father being a writer, saying you inherited his soul and his passion for pouring all of his love into every little thing with the hopes something worth putting to paper would appear in return.

You didn’t write like he did but you did often find yourself overthinking the journey of tree roots and being curious about how building a proper nest weighed on a birds confidence.

It was a lot easier to fall inlove with everything than to tune the world out and that didn’t fall short of affecting the way you interacted with the people around you.

The way you loved your friends wasn’t always romantic but you had a deep connection to all of them and a mental list of all their habits and cute quirks like the way Wonyoung covered her mouth when she laughed hard and the raise of Riki’s eyebrow whenever he was curious about something.

You loved Heeseung in a different way.

Your heart was heavy as you walked through the tree covered trail that led to your house, knowing once you started thinking of him it was nearly impossible to stop.

In your defense, he seemed to have that affect on a lot of people.

There was just something undeniably charged about Heeseung and the way he interacted with the world around him. He was ever confident in a natural way that didn’t have a hint of arrogance and his gentle nature struck you hard the first time you met him when you were 13 and he had just turned 14.

You became close friends after getting partnered for a school project and your heart was soaring when he kept talking to you even after you’d turned in the essay and gotten a low B.

He was bestfriends with basically everybody he interacted with but you couldn’t help feeling special when you kept getting closer and closer and your friendship started to actually hold some weight instead of just having surface level conversations in between class lectures.

The cold fall chill ripped through your sweater right as your mood started to sour and you shook your head free from the thoughts of him or at least as free as you could.

Not asking for much, man, thought maybe you'd call me

I slit my own throat just to see if you'd mourn me

“He really hasn’t said a single thing to you? Like not even something random and completely unrelated to his absolute betrayal?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed at the dramatic exaggeration of Wonyoung’s statement but she was right to be upset on your behalf considering you had a hard time being mad at him yourself.

Your sigh continued as you rolled onto your back and tugged the phones chord as tight as possible so it reached further on your bed, nearly coming off the wall with how hard you were stretching the old elastic.

“He’s waved at me in the halls but I can’t talk to him.” Your voice was muffled just from how much you didn’t want to admit the extent of which this bothered you.

You weren’t at all exaggerating, you really couldn’t bring yourself to talk to Heeseung ever since he had casually announced on his MySpace that he was now in a relationship with one of your more casual mutual friends. He hadn’t told you beforehand that he even had feelings for her and you felt completely ridiculous for thinking he held you as close to his heart as you did for him.

Even your friend group had been thrown off by the news considering everybody followed the silent understanding that you and him were more than friends.

You’d rolled your eyes the few times they’d brought it up, both in light teasing or genuinely trying to pry and get you to answer their burning questions about your relationship.

You never fulfilled their curiosity for a multitude of reasons but mainly because you had no idea what you and Heeseung were exactly. You liked him more than you’d ever liked somebody in your life and your face turned red whenever you saw him smile or felt his hand brushing against yours under the lunch table but he’d never said anything to you about it.

His feelings might’ve seemed obvious to somebody who didn’t know him, figuring you were dating the second he wrapped his arm around you or ordered your food without checking what you wanted since he already had your preferences memorized.

But that was just who Heeseung was and you were no stranger to that.

He was overly caring and involved with everyone he met and he could make somebody he’d met seconds ago seem like they were best buddies from kindergarten. He definitely had a sweet spot for you but there was no real evidence that it extended past platonic admiration.

You were overwhelmingly glad now you’d never been stupid enough to tell your friends you were together before confirming it considering his abrupt new relationship that completely shattered your view on what you’d been to him.

Clearly you’d misread the signals the entire time and the two of you were just friends but the more you thought about it, the more angry you got. Not at Heeseung because your heart strictly forbid you for ever thinking negatively about the boy but just at the entire situation and the lack of understanding from both sides.

It wasn’t friendly when he stared into your eyes with the waves crashing behind you and your friends laughing somewhere in the distance. Not at all platonic when he was taking your hand in his at the school dance and ignoring the dozens of eyes staring at him, waiting for a turn.

They never got it because he spent the entire night spinning you in his arms and complimenting your dress and hair.

You weren’t confused when he laid in your bed after his parents threw a fit about his new piercing, his head on your stomach and his voice a whisper when he told you that you were the only person who understood him.

“You’re my person and I’ve never felt like that with anybody before so it freaks me out sometimes.” His eyes didn’t stray from the blank spot on your ceiling and yours stayed locked on the bruise forming around the new piece of middle inside his eyebrow. “I couldn’t think of anybody else I wanted to run to.”

“Is that a bad thing? Wanting to come to me?” Your fingers smoothed over the piercing and he winced a little because of how fresh it was but you didn’t move your touch away, just lessening the pressure you were applying.

“It’s only bad because how much it consumes me sometimes.”

You didn’t ask him to explain what he had meant that day because you figured you knew but apparently you were somehow wrong.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N, are you still there?” Your friends voice over the line was bringing you back to reality and you assured her you hadn’t left before asking her to repeat whatever it is she had said. “I said that he was totally wrong to do that to you, we all think so.”

For some reason the thought of your friends seeing the same thing as you didn’t make you feel any better.

It actually made you want to curl into a ball ten times worse because you couldn’t blame it on your rose colored glasses if the closest people to you also felt like something was blossoming between the two of you. Your confusion in his abrupt relationship only made you feel sicker and sicker.

I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time

I stalk myself on the internet just to see what you'll find

I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time

You make it look so easy, leaving everything behind

Two weeks had passed since Heeseung posted the photo of him and Aubrey with his relationship status being changed right afterwards, glaring harshly at you on your home computers wavering screen.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you studied his expression underneath the grainy edgy filter he applied to it, eyes tracing the squint of his eyes as he smiled brightly and her lips pressed against his cheeks.

He looked happy and that somehow made you feel even sicker.

You wondered if he hadn’t told you about it because he feared your reaction or if he possibly couldn’t bring himself to silently end whatever it was that you felt towards each other. It hurt more than it might’ve a few years ago because you’d finally begun to feel like the two of you were on the same page, managing to be mutually single and interested at the same moment for the first time in all your years of pining.

A dozen near misses were finally leading to something big and concrete.

Or at least you thought so until you logged onto your MySpace account and saw his post, the same one you were glaring at now.

You hadn’t posted anything since you cut off communication with him but you couldn’t help yourself from checking your page and scrolling down it, curious if he’d be concerned over your silence if he ever went to see what you’d been doing with his absence. Maybe he hoped you’d be posting sad song lyrics or actively breaking down on his feed but instead you’d gone completely cold.

It was the only option in your mind considering you never were able to be normal when it came to Heeseung.

The sight of his hoodie on your bed or his left over guitar picks and crumbled up pieces of paper with random doodles scattered around your room was enough to bring you to tears and settle a sick feeling in your gut so you couldn’t imagine trying to sit and type out a post that would read as normal. Perfectly fine and not obsessing over who your friend was dating.

You told yourself that you were mainly caught up on the specifics of it because he hadn’t bothered to tell you about it.

It was worse to find out from a simple post over him sitting you down and letting you know but instead your entire world crumpled with every comment and heart from people who didn’t know him outside of passing him in the halls.

They didn’t know him during those late nights and they didn’t know the way his heart beat harder whenever you brushed your fingers through his hair or met his eyes in a crowded room. The faceless usernames had no idea there was somebody out there absolutely shattering at this simple ‘in a relationship’ post.

You groaned into your hands and shut the computer down without bothering to close his blogs tab, knowing you’d be opening it first thing tomorrow regardless.

You look so cool getting high

No handlebars, you wanna fly

You look so cool, I wanna die

Is it too soon to say what on my mind?

“Hope you brought some bandaids.” His voice was wobbly as he circled around you and you laughed softly at his clear fearfulness, the sound muffled by the straw of your slushy that was clutched between your knees.

“For when you inevitably eat shit?”

He laughed at your bluntness and the action almost caused him to do exactly that, the bike wheel rapidly twisted on the rugged gravel and nearly sending him straight into the rocky parking lot he was currently riding handless around.

One of his hands was occupied with his own extra large slushy from the gas station near you and the other was holding a small joint that was nearly smoked out of existence. You had hated when Heeseung started to smoke and you spent the last few years complaining about the smell of his clothes and scolding you when he left the scent on your pillows.

You’d never tell him that you slowly got used to it, almost liking it as it blended easily with his signature cologne and his naturally aroma that you found yourself leaning into whenever you had a few feet between you.

He rarely smoked infront of you once he realized you genuinely didn’t like it and you were just nagging at him but today was the exception.

Heeseung had turned eighteen today and while your friends had begged and begged him to either throw a party or let them do it in his honor, he had strongly declined. You had been confused considering he was shy to partying and it would definitely be one of the bigger events of the year with how many people would love to gather and get drunk in the honor of Heeseung.

Your confusion was lost when he wrapped himself around your back, arms circling your middle and casually telling your friends he’d rather spend the night hanging out with you like it didn’t completely uproot your existence whenever he said things like that.

You didn’t even doubt the honesty of his answer, genuinely knowing he had more fun in this dirty parking lot with cheap slushees and your company than he would’ve at a huge rager.

“What do I get if I don’t fall?” He was smiling at you as he rounded back into your point of view but he was behind you again before he could see the way your own lips turned up. “Doesn’t that call for a prize?”

“A prize? What would you want?” You watched his eyebrows raised like he was in deep thought and you laughed at the absurdity of him disappearing back behind you as he continued to ride his bikes in circles around you. You didn’t like riding bikes as much as he did but last summer he’d painted a pair of pegs pink for you, sticking them to his otherwise blacked out frame and smiling proudly.

It was something you’d rolled your eyes at and you’d given him a quick thankful kiss on the cheek but you secretly loved standing behind him as he rode you around, hands on his shoulders and the wind blowing through your hair.

You especially loved how happy he was to show you that he’d done it, something that would make you more comfortable when you rode together.

He was humming like he was deep in thought and you waited patiently with your chin resting in your hand, smile bright on your face at his theatrical responses.

“If I don’t fall…. you let me stay at your place tonight.”

Your heart was already starting to beat out of your chest at the soft request and the way his voice got lower like he was waiting for you to reject him. Both of your reactions were ridiculous considering he’d spent the night at your house dozens of times and was over more than he went home but he always asked beforehand.

Something you liked because then it always gave you the opportunity to tell him that he was welcomed.

“I figured that was the plan anyways.” You took a large drink of your slushy after letting the words fall out more casual than you felt and he pressed on the brakes when he was in front of you this time, a wide smile still on his face and genuine easiness radiating off of him.

“You sure know how to make a birthday special.” He was so beautiful when he said that and the way he looked at you made you feel like he genuinely meant what he was saying even if he was just making a joke about your rather simple nature.

Telling him you love him was heavy on your mind and even heavier on your tongue and it took almost everything inside of you not to just blurt it out and accept the brute force of whatever his reaction might be without any preparation. You wanted him to know that his birthday was special, you needed him to know that you loved him and that you wanted to spend every year like this no matter how old you got.

Instead you took another sip of your slushy and let him ride around you until his tire gave out and he was landing on the gravel with a laugh that inspired your own.

You hadn’t know then that you were currently experiencing his birthday with the two of you for the last time and you wondered now if you would have told him back then if you had known. Would it have made a difference or was he always fated to leave?

Did your love story really end with a simple post from his end and the smell of smoke ever fading from the smooth fabric of your pillow cases or was this all some large twisted joke from the universe, one last test of your affection towards each other before you finally stopped nearly missing.

You tried your best to stop thinking about it and him and all the little things he’d left in your room.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung x reader #heeseung au #enhypen au #heeseung fic #lee heeseung #Spotify

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mahou-furbies · 3 days

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Closing thoughts on Magia Record Scene 0

Scene 0 has finally ended! Or the translation I've been following has been completed. To those who don't know, it tells the Madoka Magica story, but the point of view of a new character Mabayu, who for some reason keeps her memory through Homura's time loops and can move while time is stopped. And since we all know how the Madoka plot goes (right?), the main story here is the mystery of Mabayu having lost her memory of why she is already a magical girl.

(spoilers)

First things first, the whole premise conflicts with what I think is one of the core points of the Madoka Magica drama, that is, how Homura had to do her thankless time looping job all alone and became increasingly isolated because of it. But here it's "revealed" that she had a buddy all along, with whom she became very close friends and who is eventually cast as the reason why Homura is able to keep going on in the first place. The whole thing considerably waters down her devotion to Madoka, when most of the story is about how she bonds with Mabayu. And then there's also the inherent awkwardness of inserting a brand new nobody to the story you already know, to whom the characters you've known for a decade become the side cast.

Then again, that is the premise, so you just have to make peace with it if you want to enjoy the story at all. And in fact I like Mabayu a lot, so I'll take it, though I'll have to consider everything a non-canon super AU (even within the canon's actual AUs). There was also the other problem though that some of the stuff was kind of fanservicey, and not in the horny way but in the superficial "let's put the whole cast in maid outfits for no particular reason" way. But I was a fan of some of it, like Nagisa being un-witched in one time loop, so fine.

I don't know how much this is about what the story actually is and how much should be blamed on me not paying enough attention, but in the end I think there's still plenty of holes in the story. Like we learned how Mabayu became a magical girl and what how her personal magic power works, but I didn't understand how her memory doesn't reset through the time loops and why she can move when Homura stops the time. Also the way she erased other characters' memories was inconsistent, she had to cut Sayaka's memory all over again in each loop, but when she cut Mami's, the effect was carried to the next loop. And I guess it was explained how the final resolution worked (duh) but I don't think I quite understood.

That's a lot of complaints but I did have a decent time with this actually, and that is because I really like Mabayu. She's the kind of character I'd really like to see more in magical girl stories: low energy, kind of lazy and self serving, passive and loner but not in an edgy way, and it was interesting to see her grow to be more heroic. She also has a lovely voice, and it turns out the same actor also did Ha-chan whose voice is also great. She also had really good dynamics with the main cast, and I especially like growing friendship between her and Homura, they had good banter with Homura being super serious all the time, and their growing friendship was touching. And she had some interesting stuff going on with Sayaka and Mami too.

And while I complained about the whole premise being about rewriting canon, I also think there were some worthwhile additions. For example in this version Mami used to recruit other girls to become magical girls with Mabayu, and the guilt from that is a major reason for her breakdown when she learns the truth about witches. On one hand I prefer the version of a seemingly strong character actually being weak and emotionally unstable, like she's been through a lot and doesn't need a more noble reason for her breakdown, but I think the Scene 0 version is also interesting.

Ultimately the ending left me somewhat sour with how inconclusive it was. Mabayu cut herself from everyone's memories (including her own), but it feels like there's a ton of stuff about her that's not resolved. Like she's still able to move during Homura's stopped time and doesn't understand why, she's still a magical girl even if she doesn't remember it, becoming friends with Mami again doesn't lead much anywhere if she's going to die to Charlotte in a few days… If the idea is the bittersweet knowledge that Mabayu made a difference in the Homura-Madoka story but nobody can remember it, it doesn't work for me since I didn't really get what her contribution was. Or I guess it was pretty clear how important Mabayu's presence was for keeping Homura sane through all the failed time loops but that was like my number one issue with the premise, so maybe I'm just incompatible with the whole story to begin with.

Still I had a good time following this as the translations came out, I was eager to see where the plot would go and watching a short video every few days didn't require that much from me. Though I do think the story was too long for its own good and especially the early loops could have been condensed.

#puella magi madoka magica #magia record #review I guess

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katiapostsss · 3 days

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✧ ˚ · . 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐄𝐀 — anakin skywalker p. 1

˗ˏˋ 📄 ´ˎ˗

teaser:

"just the way you

still like it, i hope."

ᶜ ʰ ᵃ ʳ ᵃ ᶜ ᵗ ᵉ ʳ ˢ : modern!anakin x fem!reader

warnings! :

swearing ..

SYNOPSIS: you and anakin are not friends anymore. not as you used to be. but letting him stay in your home while his own is being renovated doesn't call for friendship... just.. friendliness.

based off this request. hope you like ❤️❤️

〰️

| part 2 > ( coming soon )

knocking from your front door was what finally had you changing from your nightly attire and emerging from the isolation of your room, not without some struggle, though, seeing as it was only 8 in the morning and you were pretty sure half your brain was still dreaming.

rubbing the remnants of rest from your eyes and trudging absentmindedly down the stairs and to the entrance, you had to fumble for the key and unlock the door, then struggling to just pull it open. dropping your hand and forcing your eyes open, you were met with blaring sun and a stout figure. you squinted. "ma? why are you—"

"oh, dear." without warning, she shoved a platter into your arms and drew closer, running her hands down your shirt and straightening your appearance. "don't tell me you just woke up! it's—" she looked down at her watch, "8 am already, y/n. you must greet your guests with formality."

you sighed, looking down at the plate and inspecting the contents. "ma, it's too early for.. fruits." of course she had appeared at your door, at 8 in the morning, with a big dish of strawberries, grapes, and pineapples, because she was your mother. you expected no less.

you looked up at her with a brow raised, gesturing to the platter.

"well, i know how much you like them. we had some left over from the dinner party just last night." she shrugged. "now, will you let your guest in, or have her stand outside all day?"

not without some hesitation, you stepped off to the side and opened the door wider for her to enter in, shutting it behind her once she had begun her descent down the corridor to your kitchen. "a mess, y/n. do you ever clean around here? for guests, at least?" it was not a mess. aside from a stray duster on the ground and one of your cat's toys, your house was perfectly fine, actually.

you rolled your eyes and set the platter down on the kitchen counter, unraveling the plastic wrap from the top and pulling it off. you plucked a strawberry and popped it into your mouth. "i didn't expect any guests. and plus, you're my mother— what are you—?"

"i'm cooking breakfast. coffee is not a meal." she was rummaging through the fridge, pulling out some eggs and frozen bacon and plopping it onto the counter by the stove. you heaved an exasperated breath.

"ma—"

"well, you need to eat something," she drawled, clicking her tongue. you gave up the fight, turning back to the fruit and rounding the counter so you could sit in one of the many chairs lining it. the crackle of cooking yolk and simmering heat filled the quiet. your mother hummed as she worked, and you focused solely on the fruit, slightly appreciative of this meal.

"you know, anakin's back in town for the summer. george and i hope it's to stay. that boy is always on the move." she chuckled, shaking her head. you looked up from the platter, brows pinning together, surprise etching into your features.

"he is?" from what you knew, your best friend since childhood had been out in new york, for reasons that never got to you. or maybe it was dallas? spokane? you had no idea. you never did. it was true, anakin was always moving around, as if scared to settle. it was why you had stopped talking so much. not because of any miscommunications or fights, but just because he left so often, that it was hard to keep in touch. he had ambitions. hopes. feelings and things to do that you never had even known of, ever even dabbled in. he was always that type. to want everything all at once. you stopped trying after a while. it all came to be too much, and prior to the fallout, there was no implication he cared much, either. not that you cared. you didn't. sure, it sucked to see a friend go, but maybe that bond was always meant to fray, as childhood friendships always do.

you looked back down at the fruit, swallowing thickly and deciding you did not want to eat any longer. "i never thought i'd hear those words, actually," you quipped as you pushed away the platter, even as a frown came to your lips. your mother laughed. "how— how is he?"

"oh, good. all good. he visited last night, y'know. at the dinner. he looked well. god, he grew. oh, and he's renovating. his house, i mean. needs somewhere to stay until it's done..." she trailed off, turning with the pan and a plate and eyeing you as she stepped up to the counter and slid the egg onto the glass. you bristled, understanding what she was implying.

"so that's why you're here.. mom, we don't even talk anymore! it would just be weird to invite him here out of the blue! i can't just..."

"but you could talk again," she countered, shrugging and turning to the sink. the pan clinked against the metal. "and don't act like it wouldn't be good for you, either. you've been wasting away in this house. some company would be a well fit for you." she walked back over with a fork and pushed the plate to you, but you had already lost your appetite. you looked distastefully down at the eggs.

"ma..."

"just consider it, y/n. i know you like your privacy, or whatever you call this.." she gestured to the house and trailed off without finishing the sentence. you rolled your eyes. "but really, just think about it, okay?" a moment of silence. "well, i've got to get to my pilates classes. eat all of that, y/n. i didn't make it for the trash, now did i?"

you sighed in defeat as you watched her pat her leggings and pull out her car keys, which jingled loudly when she waved goodbye and whooshed down the hallway, the sound of the door opening and closing following in suit. you watched her leave, eyes remaining on the bend and fingers balled tightly, your shoulders slumped inward. maybe she was right. you were getting tired of this isolation, this complete quiet. maybe... just for a month or two, this stranger with a past you shared could move in until his renovations were over.

you didn't know how long you sat there, thinking, before you ultimately reached for your phone in your pocket and pulled it out, unlocking it and swiping to your messages. you weren't sure if you still had his number personally, but surely on some group chat... and there it was. you clicked onto his information and the typing bar came into view. all you had to do now was actually write him. you hesitated. this was nothing, certainly. just being friendly, even for somebody you weren't friends with anymore.

hey, it's y/n. my mom told me you were back in town? you typed up, hitting send before you could think badly of it. immediately, you set the phone facing down on the table, making yourself get up and do something with yourself to ease the anxiety. it was 30 minutes later that he responded.

---

Hey, it's been a while.

Yea, I'm back in town. Do you need something?

You don't usually text.

you laid in bed, staring at the three, gray boxes, before responding.

oh, no, i don't need anything. i just heard you were getting renovations done, and decided to reach out and see if you needed a place to stay or anything.

sorry about this suddenness, i just know you don't usually stay here a while, and my mom was telling me all about it, so...

the jumping circles popped onto the screen. you bit your lip and tried to keep yourself from further simplifying this conversation.

Oh, I mean, that would be great. Renting here is harder than I'd thought it would be 😭😭

yea, it's always hard in small towns...

i just figured you'd appreciate it. i really don't mind. stay as long as you'd like, in fact. it's getting boring all alone, anyways

Thank you, Y/n. This is really a big help. The renovations won't take that long.

good to know :)

just come by whenever you'd like. my door is always open.

---

and open it was indeed.

---

when the doorbell rang, you made yourself calm down. made yourself breathe, before you walked down the stairs and unlocked the entrance. there he stood.

"hi." it really wasn't that big of a deal. in fact, it hardly meant anything at all. you knew he wouldn't bother you, even if you didn't know him that well anymore. so why were you so nervous, standing in front of him, surveying his every movement, his new appearance?

the last time you saw anakin skywalker was christmas dinner 3 years ago. he had been a thin, tall boy. now, he was a broader, taller man. his jaw was more strongly-set, his features a sharp fit of lines and angles, and his eyes, darkly blue in the shadows and shade. fortunately, he seemed just as nervous.

"hey," he spoke, lightly smiling, which surprised you, how easily his expression averted. you shifted on your feet awkwardly, clearing your throat.

"well, uhm, come— come in." you motioned him inside, stepping away from the door for him. "i'll show you around, and everything."

anakin nodded, licking his lips and stepping in. he let the handle of his suitcase drop and grabbed the smaller handle instead, lifting it off the ground. you took it from him, setting it aside.

"new house?" he asked, looking around.

"oh, yea. it's nothing much." you shrugged, following his gaze. "here, your room's upstairs." beforehand, you had cleaned every crevice and crack of the house thoroughly, and now, it was pretty much spotless. you heard him following behind you as you walked up the steps, pushing open the door across from yours and allowing him in. you cleaned this room extra thoroughly.

"this is it. if you need anything at all, just tell me. other than that, the essentials are all in here." you watched him walk inside, leaving his bag by the door. he turned to you, smiled.

"thank you for this, y/n. really, it's a huge help. i'm sure you know that, though."

you laughed it off, waving your hand in dismissal. "really, no need for thanks. just doing what friends do." though... the words felt somewhat sour on your tongue. anakin only nodded, shoving his hands in his the pockets of his hoodie. he stood in this casual sort of way, that made your own, awkward stance, look out of place.

"so, how are you, anyways? i just realized, we haven't caught up or anything. it's been... what..."

"3 years," you quickly filled in for him, shoulders bunching. he cocked his head.

"wow, already, huh?"

you swallowed, nodding. "yea.. already..." though it didn't feel like "already". "so, how.. how are you? how was new york? that's where you went, right?"

anakin ran a hand across his neck, a muscle jumping in his jaw as he set his teeth. "i've been good. new york was.. nice, yea. a bit... congested, but good. very pretty. it was nice to get away for a bit, y'know?" so 2 and a half years for him was "a bit". you bit the inside of your cheek.

"of course.. and you went... because...?"

you expected a quick response. something astounding. something unfathomable for a girl who'd lived in the same town her whole life. something only the streets and corridors of new york city could bring forth. but all anakin did was shrug and say, "job offering", which you wholeheartedly doubted.

"and how are you?" he asked a bit more awkwardly than before. you, confused, cleared your throat.

"yea, i'm good, too. i've been doing well. my mom says i need to get away for a bit, like you did. but... i don't know. i think we're opposite in that sense. i like it here." you shrugged, looking down at your feet. you saw him nod, and before he could say anything in response, you perked and slowly ran your hands down your jeans. "well, again, if you need anything, just let me know. feel free to make yourself comfortable, cook something to eat from the fridge or something."

anakin nodded, licking his lips. "alright. thanks again."

"any time, of course." and you backed out.

---

the morning sun had you squinting your eyes, rubbing the dregs of sleep from your face, and avoiding all the windows as you made your way downstairs and through the corridor to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

you hadn't seen anakin since last night, after you'd left his room and given him space to unpack. you were unsure where he was now, but you'd seen his car parked in your driveway, so he must've been home. and sure enough, there he sat, at the counter, looking fully awake. because only anakin could look fully awake at 9 am. he was nursing some cereal.

"up already?" you asked, sending him a nod of acknowledgment and turning to the coffee machine. "some things never change, huh?"

he chuckled behind you. "i guess not, especially since you still wake up late."

"you sound just like my mom." you filled the empty compartment with water and turned on the machine, turning to the counter at which he sat and sending him a smug look, before disappearing below to search for a mug. when you remerged you held up two. "coffee?"

he cocked his head, dropping his spoon in his now-empty bowl and leaning back in his chair. "i don't like coffee. thought you'd remember that."

you sighed a sarcastic 'ahhh', turning back around with both and setting one on the machine. "shame. i make the best coffee this town's ever had."

"oh, trust me. i remember just how it tasted," he laughed, and you chuckled yourself, slightly aching to remember that small little film shoved to the back of your head. 16, and best friends for what looked like would be life.

"then you should remember its awesomeness," you shot back, pushing away the thought. "or you should really polish up your memory. unless i can just make you one and restore it back to new right now?" the machine rumbled as it emptied gritted beans into the holder, and then, black liquid into your cup.

"still a no," he said anyways. you felt him walk up behind you, and you thought, for a moment, that he'd join your side, or something, but instead, he turned to the sink and began washing his dish and spoon. well, at least he had manners.

"one day, maybe." as the coffee worked, you turned to the kettle and heated up some water, pulling tea from your cupboard. you waited by its side, tapping your nail against the counter. "and how'd you sleep? is there anything i can get you, at all?"

over rushing, steaming water, anakin shook his head, turning off the faucet and wiping his hands on a nearby towel. he turned to you once done. "no, i'm good for now. and shit, your pillows are fucking clouds, did you know that?"

you laughed, turning around once you heard the beeping from the kettle. "what, you've been sleeping on bricks or something?" you grabbed the handle and emptied the liquid into his mug.

"feels like it compared to yours." when all was done, you left your own beverage on the machine, and instead, took the other cup of herbal water, turning to anakin, who had found his way back to his seat, watching you work, and pushing the mug to him across the table.

"just the way you still like it, i hope." obviously, to remember his favorite drink, you had the better memory of the two.

hey guys im back 🫶🏻🫶🏻

@blairwaldrfsworld i just feel like i had to get this out 'cause i know it's been a while since you requested it so i feel bad 😭😭 part 2 will be out soon i hope🙏🏻🙏🏻

also, can you tell the end was rushed? 😻😻

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chantiying · 22 hours

Text

You have a new message, would you accept it?

How to choose? Take a deep breath, close your eyes, think about that/those person/people you have something inconclusive with (if you can't think about anyone it's ok, dw) then choose the image that calls to you better

1 2 3

Before to start, sorry for any mistakes or grammar error. English is not my first language

Remember tarot is not set on stone and you can change your path whenever you want. This is for entertainment purposes

This reading is general so if it doesn't resonate with you just let it go

Option 1

I know you're still upset about the way all of this happened. I know you don't understand why I had to go away. You think I let you alone and I didn't really care about it. I know you think I was selfish all I did was look out for my own good. I know you keep blaming me for the things I did to our family. I know that, even if I say to you my reasons they are still just excuses to your ears. I needed to walk away, I was tired. It was the best, it was fair. I had to understand who am I, I had to mature but it doesn't matter anymore, does it?

I'll be back, any moment. I know that hearing that scars you a lot, I know it bothers you "go back?" "For what?" "To destroy all the the life I built in your absence?" Yeah, I break your heart, I was the person you trusted the most , I broke our little world, I broke us, and you are still afraid of trusting in me again, but could you give me another chance? Take your time to respond my petition. I promise I'll understand if you don't want to see me again, but I'm serious about that I want to make things work for us this time.

For some of you, this could be a male figure in your family.

Two more messages for you.

Take a rest, honey. You don't have to be the one who is always fixing everything. The solution for the pain you're feeling right now is not overexerting yourself. Don't worry, things gonna be ok.

This could be from someone who passed away.

The last message could be an ex lover

Something that ended because of people talking in your back, hidden secrets that came to light. Tbh, I feel that this person don't have any interest in fix anything. Maybe they are happy that all of that happened and the way it all ended.

Additional information.

I feel like in this pile there's a lot of young energy. Maybe that person was too young or the separation occurred when both of you where young or you were young when all of this happened.

I feel that for some of you the root of all your failed relationships is because of the message of the first person

Maybe you've been suffering from sore throat or neck pain and I feel that it could be because you don't know have to express your emotions. It's ok to cry and scream, if you feel like crying, just do it, everything will be alright, ok?

Option 2

I feel like this person is upset or mad. Probably the relationship ended because of an argument. One of you was not in their best moment (maybe one of you passed or is passing through depression or anxiety)

I had to go, it was for the better. This, the thing we had it had neither head nor foot. I do accept we had a lot of good memories, you were my sun, but it doesn't mean we were meant to be. Do you know what? Sometimes, when I think about us, the first memories that came to my mind are those where I felt tied to you. We were going to nowhere. We had different paths, different dreams, different goals. I actually think we share the blame in this one, and, I still blame you for the kind of love you gave to me. It was too suffocating. It was like when you water a flower, you know what I mean? You were drowning me. I needed to make a decision, the better for me, and I don't regret doing it

This could be a past friendship

This is another message it could be from a female figure.

Don't be silly. You need to be less immature and spoiled. Will you realize at some point that you are being your own worst enemy? I know you're thinking about me like a killjoy or like i'm bitter, but my only wish is for you to open your eyes and put your feet on the ground. Do you remember when you were happy only with what you had? Do you remember when you played with all your friends and relatives? Do you remember all the scenarios you imagined and all of those were easy to resolve just with laughs and superpowers? I want you to be that little kid again. I want to hear your laugh until your belly hurts. I want you to be more kind with yourself and with the others. I want you to let go whatever its making you feel bad. I want you to start dancing by your own, my love.

Some of you have a nickname inspired on nature "sun" "bunny" "peach" "twinkle" or you have a name related to flowers or stars.

I feel like some of you either are emotionally unstable or feel a little too much.

Maybe you are fan of Taylor Swift and like the rain

Option 3

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being the villain of your story. I feel so sorry for stealing your confidence. I'm so sorry because I know I'm the reason of your nightmares/insomnia. I'm sorry you don't feel good enough and all of that is my fault. It's horrible to be the person who hurt the one who most loved me. You were my wish came true. You were the madness I needed to keep me sane, it doesn't make sense, does it? I could have done better, I know. I'd have done better to give you all the things you deserve. I guess it's too late to own up to my mistakes. Now I've lost you

I don't want you to forgive me (maybe I do want to) I want to tell you that I love the person you are now. All of that is because of YOU. I just destroyed you. You had to pass through a lot. Sometimes I wish I could talk to you. Would you give me an opportunity? All the fights, all the arguments, all the screaming and crying. I'm so sorry, I'm really really sorry. I know I took you away from me. If it's worth it, I also wake up at night thinking I could have done better

I love you, I always have

I don't want to wreck your plans. I don't want to turn your world upside down. Am I being greedy for saying that I miss you? I know I'm the king of victimized myself, I'm aware of that. I'll try to change for better, even if it doesn't matter anymore. I have what I deserve and I hope you get what you deserve for loving someone who didn't know how to love you in return

This could be an ex lover but it could be a person who took "care" of you when you were a child too

Let your inner child to heal. Play with them, enjoy and do the things you want to do but you don't do for fear of being judged

I have a plan for you! What if you choose some animated movies, cartoons you liked when you were a child and enjoy your evening watching them?

You're so brave and strong, I admire you, keep going

I feel like you have a good taste on music

This is my first reading, hope you all like it

Alic (Chanty) 🪽

#tarot #tarot reading #tarot tumblr #tarotblr #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #pick a card #tarot asks #tarot advice

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buddiesmutslut · 3 days

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When people say “I’m okay with Buck & Eddie not ending up together as long as their friendship doesn’t change”, I hate to say it, but that’s just not possible.

I’m not saying that they’re going to stop being best friends or anything, but if they get into actual, healthy, serious relationships, with people that are well matched & good for them, their current relationship is going to change. It’s inevitable.

I do believe that they’ll always be family, that they’ll do their best to be there for each other & for Chris, but they get so much from each other. In the past, even unintentionally, they’ve been more emotionally connected to each other than they have been with their partner, & that’s part of why their friendship is so solid, because they’re both only ever vulnerable with the other.

If they find good, healthy, stable partners, they’re not going to need each other in the same way, and that’s going to change their relationship. Do you honestly believe that Eddie is going to leave Buck as Chris’ legal guardian if he finds a partner that he actually & genuinely loves and enjoys being with? (The fanfic writer in me wants to say yes, but the realist in me says no lol.)

If Buck falls in love with someone who is accepting & soft and kind and understanding with him, that person is going to be the one he goes to first for everything, not Eddie.

So much of their friendship is rooted in the way they show up for each other in ways that only committed partners really do, and if they fall in love & get serious and marry other people, it’s not going to be the same.

I just, idk if I’m explaining it eloquently enough, if I have the right words for it, but unless Buddie goes canon or they keep ending up in these half-assed relationships where they repeat the same mistakes over & over again, their relationships and these “moments” everyone loves so much are going to stop.

#911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buck x eddie #ryan guzman #oliver stark #if you see this & agree pls feel free to expand bc I feel like I’m not explaining it well enough #I just saw a post on how they’ve basically emotionally cheated on every partner that they’ve been with in some ways #and they’re not wrong #Buck & Eddie’s relationship is the most serious & healthy one that either has ever had #and they simply CANT stay the same if they get into other healthy stable relationships #unless you’re chill with them being platonic life partners which is definitely a choice #but I really want to see them making out & fucking & coming into work with hickeys and scratch marks and limps #but maybe thats just me #in conclusion #buddie canon

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breadandblankets · 1 day

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how i hc duke's relationships with the other (main) bats

bruce: mentor/friend/weird HS teacher u bond with kinda thing, i think bruce on his end still feels simmering guilt for not being there for duke when he needed him, duke feel simmering resentment towards bruce for being another adult that left him, this will boil over at some point but then they'll get over it, they will never be that dumb nuclear found family thing, i think doug and elaine would like bruce tho so maybe one of those friend of the family situations where u call someone ur not related to aunt/uncle

cass: very very good friends, would probably consider her a sister from another mister if u will, i would hesitate to call her a best friend *gestures at all of war* but i think she's up there, i really love the headcanon that there is some tension on duke's end because cass has the ability to be more efficient but she actively chooses not to, i think for a long time duke is going to be holding some unhealthy and unrealistic standards both for himself and also people around him, like everything else this causes tension then erupts before it gets resolved, cass i think would know about said tension the whole time but have no idea how to bring up the issue or how to even think about resolving it so it drags on

dick: i think duke holds a grudge for the robin war thing, and i think he fucking should iykyk, (the way he just leaves duke on a roof??? with cops????, i was shouting at my fucking comic) idk i think dick would probably make light of it for a while but duke would be real fucking clear that he remembers and won't be forgiving and forgetting any time soon, i think they're acquaintances at best but realistically, coworkers

damian: like cass Extremely good friends, found family if you will, honestly i think they got a lot of their interpersonal issues out of the way before duke becomes signal, so really its a matter of time before they actually become friends and not just acquaintances, they're old man young to me, i think they do old man things like feed birds in the park and play Go together, i think damian is probably one of the only people duke doesn't hold to his standards, he thinks damian deserves to be a kid, making damian be a kid is probably some of the only time that duke is forced to relax by proxy, therefore duke and damian's friendship is strongly encouraged by bruce who is out of his depth for what to do with both of them and throwing them at each other seems to be working (👍 parenting)

tim: i honestly don't think they know each other well, like i think they may have talked once??? so i don't have shit to base their relationship off, generally i think they're amicable if distant, like a coworker you say hi to at the coffee machine

babs: i Need them to interact, honestly it would be really funny if duke meets babs for the first time as oracle and he's just like??? you're my favorite librarian? and babs is like !! we missed you when you stopped volunteering!!! and duke has to be like yeah that was the joker, i think they would have a good relationship, they don't work together all that much cause oracle doesn't run duke's ops and duke isn't usually on the night shift but they know they can call each other in if they need. one of duke's few trusted AdultsTM

jason: i think rocky at the start, duke would definitely have some Memories of the red hood, that would probably be a hill to overcome, but i generally think that jason will eventually move into a more positive position in the city even with the shadows of all that stuff following him ofc. they are absolute Assholes to each other in a way that is clearly affection, jason will let duke get away with anything up to and including murder, duke will never let jason get away with anything, its like a typo in the group chat

steph: re same as tim, and babs practically nothing to base the relationship on BUT i think they would get on like a house on fire, like cass: sister from another mister energy, steph is giving duke the "you just found out ur dad is a supervillain" support he needs, they are the only bats successfully going to college they probably go to events on campus together, idk they have so much potential as the forgotten robins and all that, i think they should bully bruce together that would be so fun.

#duke thomas #bruce wayne #cassandra cain #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #barbara gordon #jason todd #stephanie brown #batfam #oh gd tags #i hate tagging them all like this but my last group post went Nowhere and i Actually put thought into this #i mean i lost steam at the end i just want it out of my fkin drafts #tired boy hours #anyway these are just my hc #its how you'll see me write them for the most part #or it wont be neither i nor gd know what is going on at any one time

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theapocalypseisonlythebeginning · 2 days

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Of Daughters and Bonding - The Ghoul & Lucy MacLean

Fandom: Fallout TV Show

Characters: Lucy MacLean, The Ghoul (Cooper Howard)

Relationships: Platonic, friendship, father daughter

Summary: “What’s that grin fer?”

“I knew there was good in you. I mean… I really really really doubted it, but no one is completely bad.” She stood up, collecting her belongings with a spring to her steps. “Thanks.”

Now travelling companions, the Ghoul and Lucy bond as she reminds him of his daughter...

Warning: Under the cut there are major spoilers for the Fallout tv show. Please use caution when reading 🖤 this is set after s.1!

Tag list: @nowandthane @fizzyxcustard

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from my tag list :3

His daughter would think him a monster.

He distorted his own mirrored image by thrusting his cupped hands into the small puddle of water. Slurping loudly, he pretended not to be listening to Lucy’s rambling. He was though. But his mind was also very distracted by other fears…

Other fears than the Brotherhood having Cold Fusion: unending Power both through electricity and control over electricity. People in the Wasteland wanted – no, needed power. With power comes food, water, shelter... And with people wanting it, the Brotherhood can take control of people. As if they didn’t already. Anywhere they went, they seized everything in the name of their so called brotherhood.

Lucy thought this was a pretty good thing but-

"Ain't nothin' good gonna come off of the Brotherhood in charge." The Ghoul stood up with a groan, wiping his mouth dry with his sleeve.

"Maximus is a good guy."

He began walking with a roll of his eyes, the girl following him quickly. "A couple good guys don't stop all the bad."

Lucy had wanted to keep arguing, to keep defending those knights that seemed to be nice and helpful to the people from what she had seen so far... but that was just it, wasn't it? She'd only really met Maximus, and briefly that Thaddeus guy. She didn't actually know what the Brotherhood was. Her silence gave that much away. He smirked a bit, but didn’t turn his head to check on her. That might make her keep talking.

But that wasn't what had silenced her. It was the Ghoul's tone. Lucy had travelled with the man for quite some time before their current deal of companionship, and now it had been a couple of days. As mysterious as he tried to be, he really wasn’t. It was easy to read him. When he meant something deeper, it was obvious in his voice. There was an intelligence behind all that gun wielding aggression. He knew things. And it was obvious to Lucy.

…

"Were you speaking from experience?"

Cooper offered her one confused look, then went back to his own things.

“Earlier when you said those things about the Brotherhood and ‘one good thing’… Were you speaking from experience?”

The Ghoul looked up at her from where he was setting up camp. Setting up camp really only meant tossing his bag down and telling CX404 to go hunt for her own food. But he'd gotten comfortable resting against a boulder, seconds away from tilting his hat to pretend to go to sleep...

The Ghoul never slept. Lucy wondered if that was a Ghoul thing...

"Mind yer own damn business, little lady. Or you'll get into trouble I can't save ya from."

Lucy lifted her chin at those words. "Well, I'd argue I've proven I can handle myself, thank you!"

"When?"

Lucy stayed quiet for a bit. "I've survived up here for a week."

The Ghoul laughed at that, muttering out a ‘surviving?’ to himself.

Much to Lucy’s relief, though, he rested back and tilted his head to "go to sleep". Miffed, Lucy laid down on her spot in the dirt, her bag for a pillow. They’d only been travelling for a little over three days. The trauma of finding out about her father’s deeds, and her mother… well, it was present. But she was keeping it suppressed. It wasn’t a healthy approach to it, but what else was she supposed to do? Have a breakdown in the middle of the Wasteland? Prove to this Ghoul that she couldn’t handle the surface world? Find a therapist?

Were there therapists up here…?

Ugh… She hated the surface.

....

Lucy awoke with a start in the middle of the night to a loud BANG.

Scrambling up to a sitting position, she grabbed her syringe pistol and aimed it at the sound. The darkness of the night made it all even more disorienting, not to mention CX404 was barking like crazy next to her.

Slowly, though, she came to her senses. An explosion somewhere far away. A large cloud burning orange filled the sky, illuminating Lucy, the dog and the Ghoul with an eerie light.

"Ain't nowhere near us," the Ghoul said out loud. If Lucy didn't know better, it sounded almost like he was trying to calm her down.

Slowly, she lowered her pistol. The orange cloud was illuminating their surroundings just enough for her to be able to tell that the Ghoul hadn't moved from his boulder. But he was looking up at the sky too, just like her. It was, briefly, like a sunset. But it wasn’t quite as soothing as one.

Her pip boy began to peak, alerting her to radiation.

Great.

Slowly, she lifted her thumb up to the cloud-

"What're ya doin'?"

Lucy didn't notice the Ghoul snapping his gaze over to her like he'd just seen a Feral sneak up on them. He stared whilst the light slowly dimmed around them again…

"Just something my dad taught me. I think we're good." With that, she smiled at him before the darkness completely encompassed them again, then laid back down. She was expecting the Ghoul to ask more questions about her action, but instead:

"'S what I said," the Ghoul muttered under his breath... but he was still staring at where he'd last seen her.

Damn... that brought back memories...

...

"Daddy? Is it mine or your thumb?"

With a start, Coop awoke from the nightmare. Didn't matter how many centuries had passed. That always returned to him in his deepest, darkest nightmares. The boom. The power of the aftershock. The strange smell in the air. The sight of the entire city crumbling…

And his poor daughter, clinging to him: her lifeline. The one person she thought would keep her safe no matter what. The one person who should keep her safe from anything and everything…

He stopped his memories before they could get worse. Because worse they got. He instead tried to bring himself back to present times: pain, fear of turning Feral, MacLean…

Lucy.

He watched her sleep, innocently with her mouth slightly ajar. His daughter used to look like that sleeping too, hell… she even had her mouth slightly ajar. Especially when she fell asleep in the backseat of his car, all snug and strapped in safely…

Would his daughter have become like Lucy? Would she have tried to beat this ugly world with kindness? Like she used to do as a child?

Or... had his daughter become that? Had he missed her entire life? Because…

No- Don’t bring back those memories…

What sort of a father could he be now anyway? He was a Ghoul. Slightly more smooth skinned than others, thanks to all those years of cutting at him… but still a Ghoul. A monster.*

Shit…

“Are you okay?”

The Ghoul snapped out of it.

Dammit.

He’d not managed to shake the memories after all. Lucy had awoken to find him staring at her, wordlessly.

“Why wouldn’t I be, sunshine?”

Lucy watched him with that sympathy no one in the Wasteland had. Especially not for a Ghoul.

He scowled at it, almost scoffing, as he stood up and grabbed his bag. CX404 sniffed at his hand. He offered her a pat on the head.

“We should get a move on.”

“You said…” Lucy didn’t move to get packed. Instead, she continued to watch him with that goddamned sympathetic look in her eyes.

There were no therapists in the Wasteland.

“You said you had a family? That my dad might know where they are?”

Coop bit down hard as he eyed Lucy with harsh eyes. He desperately tried to warn her off from trying to talk about this. Not because he’d lash out though. But because he’d not be able to keep his emotions at bay.

“Maybe.”

“Do you have kids?”

Coop stared at her. Was she telepathic? No. that’s not something they did to Vault dwellers, right? Or..? “What’s it to ya?”

“Maybe this is going to sound crazy but… Sometimes, I feel like you do this thing only a dad would do. Like… Calm me down when I’m not even aware I’m freaking out. Just with a couple of words that would… that would be enough to calm a child down that depended on you. Like last night.”

What had he done last night?

“I just mean…” Lucy sighed, something in Cooper’s silence making her uncomfortable. Good. Maybe she’d stop talking about this. “If you have kids, I’ll try and help you find them. That’s the deal, right? We’re working together because our targets are in the same location. But I can help more if you need it.”

That… was the opposite of what Coop thought she’d ever say to him. “I’m sorry, ain’t I the one that sold ya fer drugs?”

“Yeah,” Lucy agreed with a nod, “but I’m sorta starting to get that this is what you have to do to survive in this world.”

“So yer gonna trust me now? Then ya ain’t learned nothin’.”

Lucy shrugged. “And…” She glanced down at her hands. She had this awful habit of picking at her nails. For someone who had smooth skin, she was awfully intent on making sure it wasn’t smooth.

He’d never noticed her finger was back. Though it wasn’t hers. Necrotic. Rotting.

Curious.

“My dad did horrible things just to get to my brother and I so… I get it. I guess. I don’t condone it. But I get it.”

Coop didn’t like that. He couldn’t exactly point out why, not consciously, but he knew he got a strange taste in his mouth from those words, even if she hadn’t meant anything bad by them. “Now, listen to me, little lady.” He pointed a gloved finger down at her, stern, serious: “There do be a whole lotta shit I’d do fer my little girl. But it don’t involve blowing up an entire civilisation jus’ ‘cause I ain’t getting my way, or whatever the hell his problem was. I was divorced. It’s ‘bout talkin’. Not…” Well, could he really say his divorce had been like others’? Not really. So he couldn’t really preach on that end. “I wouldn’t kill innocents. I’d kill a whole lotta bad people, though. Your dad is just trash, got it? Don’t be deserving yer kindess no more.”

Lucy stared at Cooper after those words.

“What’s that grin fer?”

“I knew there was good in you. I mean… I really really really doubted it, but no one is completely bad.” She stood up, collecting her belongings with a spring to her steps. “Thanks.”

Cooper stared at her with narrowed eyes. “Did ya hear anythin’ I jus’ said?”

“Yeah, I did.” Lucy beamed up at him. It almost annoyed him. Almost. “My dad’s an asshole. It’s not normal. I kinda… needed to hear that, in all honesty. It makes going after him a little easier. And you are nicer than you let on.”

“I ain’t nice.”

“Yes you are,” Lucy said with a wide smile. “So come on, big guy. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover today.”

She began walking, but Cooper was quick to reach out and stop her. He wasn’t done with this conversation. “I’m sorry I sold ya.”

Lucy offered him a gentle look. “I know.”

With that, Lucy started walking. Cooper waved for CX404 to follow along, and walked after Lucy. It was silent, which was when Cooper’s mind always began to do that damn thinking of his. Lucy was gentle, truly. And if such a gentle soul, someone like his own daughter’s, could accept Cooper for what he’d become…

Maybe his daughter wouldn’t think him a monster after all.

#just trying to practice writing these two characters!#father daughter relationship #fallout tv #fallout show #fallout spoilers #lucy maclean #the ghoul #cooper howard #fallout fic #fallout tv show fic #fallout tv show fanfiction #fallout tv show spoilers #fallout amazon #platonic #my fallout writing

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roykentschesthair · 1 day

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Roy Kent is prickly. He can’t help it. He also doesn’t want him to behave the way he’s behaving, he’s working on it, but it’s a complicated process learning that he’s worthy of more than breaking his body down to play a game.

He hates the healing process, he’s never been good at being vulnerable and it feels like a personal attack every time he has to be. He resents it. It infuriates him, and he doesn’t want to do it.

But he does want to hold Jamie’s hand and kiss his forehead and make him smile.

And he wants to be able to support Keeley and show up for her how she needs without bending himself unnaturally in the process.

He wants to keep his friendship with Ted and Beard, and god help him Trent.

He wants to be able to stand solid and strong for his team. To care for them and help them grow

To be able to support Colin if he ever chooses to come out officially even as he won’t be the first, not anymore, (Jamie isn’t subtle and it turns out neither’s Roy, but honestly getting outed because he couldn’t resist slipping a hand down Jamie’s pants at a benefit is a little embarrassing)

He wants to just be calm and happy and content without the constant nagging voice in the back of his head that says he’s not doing enough to keep the people in his life close, that he’s a ticking time bomb of needy, clingy, desperation and the only way to avoid people leaving is to keep them at arms length

(Keeley pulled away at his most vulnerable moment)

It’s the hardest thing he’s ever done, learning how to be a person in his middle age, but Roy Kent is nothing if not stubborn and he’ll conquer this as he has everything else.

* Roy Kent going to therapy and actually healing makes me emotional because every time he’s just a little too vulnerable he gets defensive and grouchy and he is me and I am him, and I just adore this perpetually depressed man and I miss him.

#I don’t think this post makes a ton of sense #it’s meta and story snippet all at once #I don’t know #but therapyRoy is important to me #and i love him #roy kent #ted lasso #jamie tartt #royjamie #roy x jamie #tedlassoedit #they’re in love your honor #jamie x roy

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fallingintoyourlilaceyes · 2 days

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Jealousy (Sihtric Kjartansson x reader)

synopsis: An order from Uthred has Sihtric and you in a situation that is less than to both of your liking, for very seperate reasons. However it also brings to light more than what you were sent there to do.

warnings: Sihtric being jealous (obvi), smut but nothing too graphic, p in v, love confessions, afab reader

word count: 1.8k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @foxyanon @sihtricfedaraaahvicius

(If you want to be tagged in the `kissing booth AU´, for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

A/N: Thank you @wildchild2707 for the lovely request! I´m sorry it took a bit to actually get to and finish it. I still hope you like it!<3

Dividers by me

You thought it was a bad idea, but when Uthred had come to you the previous night to talk to you about his plans for you and Sihtric to secretly spy on another clan of Danes that had settled to draw the borders between Daneland and the remaining land ruled by Saxons even further, you couldn't deny him. Still, you spend the whole night awake with all sorts of bad feelings swirling in your stomach. It was one thing not to let the others know where you went, but to stage a fight... It wouldn't have been your first choice. The allegiance of the men surrounding you seemed to waver from day to day as it was already. Of course, Uthred wouldn´t hear any of these concerns. According to your leader the clan was prone to violent behaviour just because they could and made up of many different country men. Your knowledge of languages would come in practical according to Uthred, but the prospect of being able to use your knowledge didn´t make you any happier. Instead of planning a staged fight, he should have been planning the attack that wiped out the clan. A deep sigh left your lungs as you sit with the others, waiting for the operation to start. The sound luckily goes unnoticed by Finan and Osferth, who are too busy with their own banter to pay attention to their surroundings. It was driving you crazy. They had fought against Danes alongside women before. What made you so different from them that you weren’t good enough to do something you were easily capable of. At least in his eyes. He had seen you fight and now when he had the chance to harness your power, he was going so far as to even put someone by your side to, what, secure everything would go to plan? Sihtric breaks your line of thought by 'provoking' Uthred, catching the attention of everyone sitting around in the tavern. It was a mess with the two men 'arguing´ while Finan tried to intervene and conciliate them, of course to no avail. After several fruitless attempts you begrudgingly play your part.

“Sihtric.” You call out to him with a firm voice. Surprisingly having his attention immediately. The brown puppy eyes search yours as you continue to speak in a calming tone. “Let us go.”

The two of you make your way away from the ground. Ignoring the off handed comment from somewhere in the crowd about how whipped Sihtric must be to follow you so easily and how you had him henpecked. It made your blood boil and fists clench tightly to be reduced to this caricature of an angry housewife, but you had to prepare for the coming night.

When everyone finally goes to sleep, you sneak to the stables, take your horses and begin the journey to the new camp. It is tough, but you get accepted by them eventually and trusted enough to collect the information you want to get. Yet the longer you stay there, a change settles over your life, that no one could have foreseen.

Your plan going into the mission was to get in get the information and get out. To get involved with anyone as little as possible. If only plans always worked out the way they are supposed to.

Over time, you grew closer to one of the men. He had to be a few years older, yet you found yourself sparring with him often and even outside of that, something akin to the sentiments of a friendship formed between the two of you. Even if it admittedly made Sihtric quite huffy, you felt like Krystof saw you for all of you, there were no lingering or lusting glances or looks of underestimation and that felt nice, it truly did. It was a welcome change, even if the simple sight of it soured not only Sihtric's mood, but also the friendship you had once shared. If one could have called it that before, it surely wasn't anymore now. Discussions of what information you had gathered and steps to take from then on were laced with sarcastic comments of all kinds. Every single one going ignored or being answered by a roll of your eyes. You told him often enough why you were leaning into the affectionate behaviour of some of the men. It is not until one dinner that you get an explanation ass to where these remarks stemmed from.

Krystof and you sat together, eating and talking with your heads close together as to understand each other over the noise of the others, when you catch Sihtric shooting you another one of those sour looks.

“You are aware he is far beyond wanting to simply hump you, right?” Krystof asks with a conspiratorial grin.

“Do not be silly now.” You scold him, but the smile on your face is firm in its place.

“I am not being silly; this is a man deep in love if I have ever seen one. A very jealous one at that.” He insists.

You look over to Sihtric who looks about ready to murder the entire settlement by himself. Quickly and to not raise suspicion, you turn back away from him, but barely get enough time to open your mouth to say something to your new friend, when someone taps you on the shoulder.

“We need to talk.” Sihtric began. The words not a question, but a statement. “Now.”

“Are you feeling well Sihtric? You are quite red in the face.” You noted the state he was in. Breath heaving his chest, fists clenched and a red tint colouring his face.

“Yes, I have never been better. I need to talk to you.” He insists.

“What is this about? You have been behaving so differently ever since we arrived here.” You question the dark-haired man as the two of you enter the empty stables nearby.

“Do you seriously have to ask why?” His answer is more affected and rawer than you would´ve thought it would be, making your heart skip a beat in surprise.

“Would you please just explain it to me?” You ask this time with more insistence.

For a moment there is silence between the two of you while Sihtric is struggling to find the right words.

However, the moment concludes with not a verbal answer, but his rough hands cupping your face and as your eyes widen and your heartbeat accelerates, he pulls you in to press his lips to yours. Expressing every feeling he harbours for you with the touch. It takes a moment to process what is happening, moving you to pull away from him.

“The depth of the affections I have felt for you since the moment I first laid my eyes on you is too far to ever be accurately put into words. Out of respect of your lack of interest in romantic relationships I swore myself to stay away, but seeing you fully lean into the pretty words those men poured into your ear like honey, drives me wild. Tell me, what changed so suddenly?” Sihtric's words are raw with emotion. So much that it would have stunned you, where you a different person.

“Sihtric, you would not have to ask this if you heard the way any of Uhtred’s men talked about women? Even the women who fought along them? We are nothing more than objects in the end. Here I am recognized for the qualities I have, not the ones that men wish I would have. Besides, it got me a ton of information we otherwise might not have gotten at all.” You doubt your words will make much of a change, yet Sihtric seems to always be good for a surprise.

He pulls you close once more, the hold on your body is gentle enough for you to pull away should you wish to, but still firm enough to show his intention.

“If you allow me, I will prove to you that I am not like them.” He whispers against your lips, waiting for a sign of your consent.

Which follows in the form of a nod and a whispered “Yes.”

In the blink of an eye his lips crash onto yours again in what this time is a reciprocated kiss. Your lips move together in perfect synchronisation. Languid movements speak the depth of your affections for each other into the world. Your hands move to wander over his strong upper arms, feeling the muscles tense underneath. All the while the dark-haired man pushes you backwards to lay against the stack of hay, never once breaking the sweet, yet passionate kiss.

Your heart beats wildly against your ribcage, warm breath huffing against his face like his does yours.

“I have dreamt of this forever.” Sihtric muttered.

His hands are all over you. Caressing you with the most reverend touches anyone has ever graced you with, making your heart beat out of your chest as the two of you begin to undress each other slowly. Hands moving over ever inch of skin as it gets exposed. Everything about this moment steals the words and thoughts right from your brain. In truth you had been feeling much the same for him, yet you had never seen a chance for the two of you to be together like this.

“You are a goddess.” Sihtric´s quiet voice in your ear pulls you from the attempt at coherent thought.

His surprisingly soft lips ghost over the shell of your ear, but the tingling is soon overshadowed by his hard length running through your folds to tease before positioning himself at your entrance. With slow, deliberate movements he pushes inside of your tight hole, setting a steady pace. Even the dull feeling of fullness only aids in the conveying of the affection the two of you have for each other. This isn't senseless humping. With expert moves Sihtric brings you closer to climax.

A string of desperate “I love you”´s falls from your lips uncontrollably, like a prayer, voice raw from whining and moaning.

Each one is answered by Sihtric calmingly shushing you as one of his hands caressed your forehead, eventually settling to rest against your cheek.

Your eyes move up to meet his and Sihtric bows his head to lean his forehead against yours.

“I have always loved you.” He mutters breathily.

His lips capture yours to muffle the louder growing whines and whimpers and with steady, deliberate, perfect rolls of his hips, you are made to feel the waves of pleasure crash over you. Your legs tighten behind his back to pull him close as your hips shake and walls flutter until he follows off the edge. Shooting his seed into your cunt until he has no more to give.

The two of you remain there until you hear voices filing out of the hall, basking in the afterglow of your love making and each other’s presence now that the tension had been dissolved. You were aware that there were still things to talk about probably, but now was not the time.

#sihtric #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric tlk #sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson x reader #sihtric kjartansson x you #the last kingdom #tlk #the last kingdom fanfic #tlk fanfic

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i-heart-hxh · 2 days

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Do you think some people misunderstand Killua's intelligence? I've seen some people that blame him completely for the communication issues that he and Gon had during the CAA, while they excuse Gon for still being a child and his naivety, since Killua is supposed to be the smart one, and the "mature" one they expect him to be the one to fix all their issues, I believe they both have their own part to blame, but I do think some people confuses Killua's smarts, that to me is more like he knows more than Gon about how some things around the world work, and his is overall more strategic than Gon, but they also think that Killua being smart means that he also his emotional intelligence should be better than Gon's, but based on how they were raised, in my opinion, and considering their are both still kids, Gon should know more about relationships and better general understanding of how to treat people, since he was raised by a loving mother figure, where as Killua's value as person to his family has always been linked to how useful or skillful he can be to his family, and not at all about who he is as a person, the few relationships he had where his potential wasn't the most important aspect for how he was treated were cut out of his life for different reasons, like with Alluka and Canary, I think it is unfair to put the blame more on Killua or Gon about their fall out during the CAA, I just find it curious how some people think Killua should know more about relationships than Gon, when in reality they both were pretty clueless on how to deal with the traumatic experiences the went through during the CAA.

Hello!

I'm actually surprised you've seen people blaming Killua entirely for his lack of communication. I've seen plenty of people blaming Gon for what happened between them, but I've only ever seen people assigning partial blame to Killua at the most. Like you said, I don't think either should be "blamed" for what happened, after all they're both young and they were in a horrible situation that they both didn't have the emotional maturity to cope with. I do think both of their own issues and trauma contributed to what happened between them, however, and putting it on only one side or the other isn't fair.

I agree with your more general point about Killua's emotional maturity, however--I do think people sometimes look at his character and expect more from him than they should with his age and life experiences, or try to present him in a more mature light than he actually is--especially since he and Gon are the same age. He's obviously a brilliant strategist and knowledgeable about a broad range of subjects--he's undeniably very smart--but, as one might expect from his upbringing, he does lack some of the social skills we can see in Gon. He struggles to communicate his feelings directly, he tends to be distrustful of others, he can be somewhat volatile and petty, and he hides things based on his own judgment.

Having his siblings and Gotoh and Canary, etc., means he didn't completely lack in social connections, but certainly the connections he had were all massively affected by the culture and expectations in his family. He's been a victim of severe physical and emotional abuse his whole life. His character growth has been remarkable considering that, but expecting him to fix everything on his own is unreasonable.

Gon did have a stable family life by comparison, but he's still inexperienced in having close friendships with peers. He's more socially savvy than Killua (in his own unusual way), but the close bond he has with Killua is still uncharted territory for him, too.

Ultimately, I think it's important to remember how young both of these boys are and how ill-equipped they were to handle what happened to them. Going deep into territory of what they "should have done differently" or blaming them misses the point of what the series is trying to say. They were doing the best they could with their maturity levels and respective traumas and difficulties, and, in the circumstances, it just wasn't enough to prevent horrible things from happening. One of the great strengths of HxH is is that it portrays the characters in such a human and nuanced way--if they acted "perfectly" rather than as flawed human beings, it would take away so much of what makes HxH deeply moving and emotionally resonant.

#hunter x hunter #hxh #killugon #gonkillu #gon #killua #meta #asks #anonymous #my posts

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stvrlight-nyx · 2 days

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My interpretation of Murder Drones episode 7(a lot about N and Uzi) EPISODE 7 SPOILERS‼️‼️

N is the most caring drone ever, he cares so much about V (friendship) that first thing he can think about is trying to move the rocks to get back to her. After all the shit she put him through, he still thinks of her as one of his closest friends besides his old crush on her. HES JUST SUCH AN ANGEL OMG.

N’s direct-ness towards Tessa is very interesting, because you can see his character wants to really help “Tessa” (who we now know was never actually Tessa), but obviously cares and loves Uzi a lot whether that be platonic or romantic. He clearly emphasises his point by putting a full stop at the end, making it clear to Tessa that he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to Uzi. Taking it back to my point about N having to choose between Tessa and his family from back in Manor House, or Uzi this “little bot” that in my opinion he’s poured his heart out to (coming from a Nuzi shipper and no it’s not pro ship). Well we now know that after the whole absolute solver using Cyn as a host and Tessa as a skin suit that he is 100% on Uzi’s side.

YOU ARE TELLING ME THIS MAN DIDN’T KNOW IF HE WAS GONNA LIVE OR NOT AND THE FIRST PERSON HE CALLED OUT TO WAS UZI LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Anyway yea so uh, you can see here that N’s first thought and in past episodes too, his first thought is Uzi. Clearly showing he cares for her and loves her a lot. Usually you brain or in their case their programming should probably make you think about yourself but, he often thinks about Uzi first and then himself like N just confess istg.

I don’t really wanna go through it now maybe in another post but it has to be here so…

J oh deary me J. J is the kinda of character who clearly has always been jealous of N, and how fond Tessa was of him compared to her. Obviously, because you can clearly even as the audience see that Tessa doesn’t really care too much about J, she clearly has to receive the approval from someone else. And that’s where the company comes in, in my opinion I think the company is just feeding her ego so she begins to do more for them. The company had control over V and N previously but because of their exploration and independence they now know the truth but, because of J’s hunger for approval she is turning a blind eye towards her curiosity.

The idea that this isn’t even “The real Tessa” is wild to me, you’re telling me the solver literally an eldritch entity can adapt to humane environments, features, and characteristics that easily. If I were Uzi I’d be wetting myself right now. For me what I would really like to see is the solver disinfecting everyone(or like collecting itself) and somehow disconnecting itself from Cyn and Tessa cus I don’t think it will be able to operate without a host and skinsuit.

DOLL A LITRAL ICON AND GIRLBOSS. Her ideas of the absolute solver while also trying to use it to her advantage is really interesting, it’s crazy that she knew everything but didn’t tell Uzi. Some may argue with me and say ‘oh but doll did it to avoid Uzi ratting her out’ which is correct but, do you think it would alter the storyline if she did? I think it would. Some more question I would’ve asked doll are things like

Do you expect to defeat the solver alone? After defeating the solver what are your theories for a cure? And why do you look good doing everything?(shes so cool)

I am not really talking heavily about Nori right now cuz she deserves her own post but, the notes behind her are really cool to me. Like did she know about the absolute solver and the involvement with the disassembly drones and JcJ? But that’s kinda it

AGAIN N THINKING ABOUT UZI BEFORE HIMSELF AND OTHERS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Apparently can only add ten images so I’ll do a part 2

Reblogs>>>>likes

#stvrpost #murder drones nuzi #tessa james elliot #j murder drones #murder drones theory #n murder drones #murder drones uzi #murderdrones #murder drones v #disassembly drone #worker drone #lizzy murder drones #doll murder drones #murder drones n #murder drones j #murder drones

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f0point5 · 2 days

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I love how your opinions aren’t biased like some people in this app lol. I agree with everything you said about this whole Lando/Magui situation.

People calling it a relationship just because they hung out during the weekend is actually confusing because there’s no proof of them being in any kind of romantic relationship, they hung out with other people this whole time and like you said, they barely see each other. I just think people jump to conclusions too fast, and completely forget the fact that they both denied dating. Plus, Lando is still going on Raya, believe me that man is not in a relationship.

I feel like people forget that we’ve been through this cycle twice though 😂 like she comes to monaco, they hang out, she’s seen in his car, everyone decides they’re a couple, and then they’re not seen together for another 4 months during which time he’s in her likes but also 48487724913 other girls’ likes as well. So everyone forgets she exists…until she’s seen in Monaco again.

People just forget what friendship between two busy people looks like idk.

Let’s not forget Lando is legit active on Raya in every GP location 😂

#lando norris

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justallihere · 8 hours

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And now for my absolute falling apart over this wonder that you're writing and that gives meaning to my life :

!!!!! Alli!!!!! THEY FACE EACHOTHER ON THE BED!

when I read it... I melted

I felt like it was there specially for me 🥹

I was so happy!

And then it lasted 0.5 seconds because violet found out! (Idk if you answered this before: does she go back to sleep with Xaden after she finds out?)

AND boy oh boy how she found out! I am totally on board with the second signet theory. I will be shocked if cannon disagreezzz

I loved how you wrote the conversation about Xaden's second signet. I am surprised at myself for saying it, but it was less angsty than I expected... (Nvm I reread a bit and I was crying for Xaden, but that was my first impression lol, I guess that goes to show what a monster you made of me 😈)

If I were Violet I would be more upset about the second signet than about the venin (but maybe she is and I didn't read it right?). What I mean to say is that the distance that Violet puts between them feels a bit forced, because she knew there were secrets there from the beginning. I would get it if she made clear it was about Xaden and not about the whole venin thing, but I don't think she did...?

But maybe i'm just among the few that want Xaden to suffer less :))) Or because her heart isn’t in it? She actually wants X closet not further but she wants to prove a point? :))))

What I love the most about how you handeled this AU is how they actually became friends before they ever get to the lovers part. See :going partying! together and walking! in chantara and shopping! and sparring and planning heists!

I love them! 🥹🥹🥹

I have to go reread everything again now because I feel like I wrote this without doing my homework :)))

I am so NOT prepared for the suffering that is coming. I need it to be over fast so we can get to the fluff faster AAAAAAA!

Again, ALL THE LOVE! 🥰

Hi!

Thank you so much—I loved their cuddling. It’s what they both deserve tbh. Violet does technically get back in bed with Xaden after she wakes up from the dream and realizes about the venin but she doesn’t sleep—there’s a sort of throwaway line about it in the chapter after.

I’m glad you like the second signet theory. With what we’ve been given in canon so far there isn’t anything else that makes sense to me right now.

Okay so I just dug up this ask about Violet’s reaction that I think is a little more articulate about her feelings on the venin/Xaden/all the things but you’re pretty spot on in that she doesn’t really want to push him away but feels like it’s best for her in that moment to have some space between them while she works through all her feelings.

Their tentative friendship is SO important to their relationship development. Those moments that are mostly platonic but are the foundation for something more are the reason the slow burn works lol. They have to trust each other with the everyday things first.

Chapter 34 is the last of the major suffering and then we start in with the comfort finally 🫶🏻

#storm in the quiet

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nimrism · 20 hours

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could you make this post? please, it's so fascinating i really want to hear your thoughts on it

"The Dark Tower" Morgwen Interactions Analysis

i've literally been waiting for someone to ask me this so i can go all out in answer, so you're literally my favorite- THANK YOU! i've tried to put all the thoughts swirling around in my head into one coherent post, so strap in and let's LOOK AT THE IMPLICATIONS (from my perspective)!

first and most importantly, i want to zero in on morgana's choice of kidnapee; she could've chosen anyone in camelot, any one of the knigts who were regularly privy to arthur's battle plans and schedule, but nope. if we're looking at it from the perspective of "she needs the closest person to arthur" wouldn't that be merlin? she could have kidnapped and brainwashed him; he would've made for a fabulous inconspicious mole in the court, and arthur literally goes to him for anything and everything. i actually think it would make for a really interesting au/fic if it were merlin who was kidnapped instead of gwen (love confession/magic reveal possibilities are ENDLESS), but maybe it's a little too close to the plot of "a servant of two masters" and the writers didn't want to be repetitive. i'm going to be biased and delusional in believing that morgana did choose gwen, in particular, for more personal reasons as well as for her nefarious ones.

the way i see it (and this is obviously very objective), by the time we get to this point in s5, morgana is LONELY, like, has-no-one-in-the-world-except-aithusa type of lonely, and her choice of allies has been lacking diversity as of late (why are they all men 💀), AND they all end up dying anyway. so, she needs a plan, and she needs a trusted ally (she also needs a bit of love and lip balm cause DAMN). BUT the thing is, why would anyone be loyal to her? she's never kept any allies (or friends) thanks to her wit and charm alone, she's only ever kept men loyal to her by striking fear in their hearts. it's the same for her friends and family, i think. she doesn't believe they even tolerate her existence, so she needs to be crowned queen to subdue them and FORCE them to respect her. the same goes for gwen. she was only morgana's friend when morgana was a naive and vulnerable girl, plagued by nightmares and unexplained fears, and the second morgana grew out of them (or learned to control them) gwen stopped being affectionate, stopped being open. that's how morgana sees it, and it only reinforces her belief that gwen would never understand the person she's become now, she wouldn't quite see what morgana was trying to do. unless morgana forced her to.

the whole kidnapping affair was to MAKE gwen understand, because she wouldn't do it of her own free will. gwen would never willingly be on morgana's side, so she had to jump through a few morally questionable hoops to bring her over. in the end, i do believe all morgana really wanted was a friend (maybe a little bit more, amirite ladies), though by this point her concept of friendship had become twisted beyond recognition, and in all the chaos, this was the only way she thought she could have one. throughout the episode, a lot of the old morgana shines through, even if it is portrayed as just manipulation, and i do think that was her either slipping back into old habits or forcing herself to, for the sake of the brainwashing and for the sake of their friendship that she's trying to rekindle.

a point that i've seen several people make is that between the niceties, the "real" morgana peeks through several times throughout the ep, but i kinda disagree. i don't necessarily think that just because her smile drops, it means that the niceties were a facade and her "evil" side pops back out. i read the sudden change in expression more as disappointment. gwen fights back with such vigour that it's probably painful for morgana to realize that her former friend sees her as nothing more than an evil witch who's hell-bent on hurting her, now. she's disappointed that gwen, who was supposed to know her best, believes what the others do, and doesn't believe that morgana is being sincere in her offer of friendship.

a small remark i also have is: why wasn't morgana one of the visions/hallucinations gwen had in the dark tower? it's interesting to see that the closest three people to gwen are her brother, arthur, and merlin, of all people. i feel like gwen's history with morgana has to have had a lasting effect on both of them, even if morgana is supposed to be "evil" now. you don't stop loving someone just because they've chosen (or BEEN chosen by) the dark side. morgana was one of the people gwen cared about most in seasons 1 through 3 (s3 is pushing it a little, but still), it doesn't really make sense for it all to be forgotten so completely like we see in this episode. i also think it would've been super interesting to see a hallucination of younger morgana in particular, partially as a reminder that part of gwen still cares about morgana and largely because i'd like to see how gwen would react to that vision... would it differ from the other three? what would morgana do? would she sneer and laugh like elyan and arthur? would she do a little rawr like merlin (😭)? i feel like a ficlet is in order for this concept cause i would like to see it but i have to imagine it first (but that's the hard part 😭)

NOW ONTO THE MOST DELICIOUS PART OF THIS ANALYSIS: THE QUOTES

M: "Would you prefer some chicken?"

i just found this one hilarious tbh like she's so out of pocket what are you doing offering your kidnapee some chicken and WHAT WAS THE OTHER OPTION, IF NOT CHICKEN?

M: "I know how lonely you must be, all by yourself in that room. At least you're not shackled, and there's daylight. You can move, you can see."

oof. she's obviously referring to her own capture and torture, pulling from her own experience. it's heartwrenching that morgana has been through all of this, traumatised beyond reason, but it's even more heartwrenching that she thinks she's doing gwen a service, like this. it might not seem like that to any sane person, but after everything she's been through, morgana's worldview is completely different. in her mind, however twisted and detached it has become, she's being merciful to gwen this way, giving her luxuries that she was never afforded when she was captured. (including a warm meal with chicken at miss havisham's table 🤩)

M: "I too have suffered, Gwen. I spent two years living in darkness. I spent two years chained to a wall at the bottom of a pit... You did not know."

goddddd this line... it's just so painful, so powerful, so indicative of SO MANY THINGS. it's EVERYTHING. every acting choice katie and angel made in this scene was brilliant but ESPECIALLY their facial expressions in this particular part WOAH. the way morgana's voice cracks on the word "pit" is DEVASTATING. i was floored. the way gwen's face falls as she processes her words and they properly set in... INCREDIBLE. the concern in gwen's eyes is palpable as she realizes the horrors inflicted on her friend. and the final "you did not know" was so, so powerful. morgana realizes that gwen didn't know about and clearly wasn't okay with what she went through. gwen had no part in it. morgana SMILES at gwen's reaction, but instead of it being a smile of malice or evil it's one of RELIEF, and one that she hides very promptly. she's reassured in the knowledge that gwen had no idea she had suffered so immensely, and that, more importantly, she wasn't involved in it. it's SO important to note that morgana has no idea whether arthur had a hand in her own torture or not. it's especially not a good look on him that he invites the sarrum as a friend of camelot so soon after the events of "the dark tower", so, as far as morgana knows, he could've been a "friend" when she was being tortured for years, too. i wonder what would've happened if morgana had kidnapped gwen AFTER the sarrum's visit to camelot... i feel like that would have complicated things with gwen much further, if morgana thought she was complicit in her imprisonment.

M: "I would have sold my soul for someone to show me kindness such as this."

only two points on this heartbreaking line: 1- FUCK the sarrum of amata. all my homies HATE the sarrum. s4 and s5 morgana might both be textbook cases of "evil", but they're two VERY different people with two very different worldviews and tactics. morgana's imprisonment turned her into the cold husk of a person she is by s5. and 2- this just further confirms that morgana thinks she's doing gwen a favor, dining with her and letting sunlight into her room and choosing not to tie her up etc.

M: "Your hands are cold... I have a warm fire going for you."

oh boy is this a MOMENT. the way morgana keeps her hand held out. the way gwen reluctantly puts her hand in hers (MORGWEN HAND-HOLD!) *ivy by taylor swift starts playing out of nowhere* {ohhhhh goddamn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine, but it's been promised to another, ohhh}

um anyway i digressed. then the way gwen wriggles her hand out of morgana's grasp, while morgana grips her fingers with unwavering determination... it's just delicious.

M: "Anything you want, you can have. I'll give it to you."

idk about you but personally i'm SOLD. take all my money. i read this as morgana trying her utmost best to sell gwen on joining her, but i can also see the manipulation laced in it.

G: "Why are you doing this?"

M: "Because we're friends. We always were."

to me, this reinforces the theory that morgana's just trying to get her friend back on her side. by stating that they've always been friends, morgana reaffirms their friendship as much to herself as to gwen. she was her friend once, and she can be again.

M: "I'm helping you. I'm looking after you."

this sort of feels like morgana is telling herself that, more than she's telling gwen. maybe it's just part of the manipulation process, but i do believe that this was morgana's conscience reassuring her that what she's doing is in gwen's favor and that she's being kind to her.

M: "It's alright, I'm here."

UGH this line. morgana is being the person she needed when she was imprisoned. this scene is also a parallel to all the times morgana woke up screaming in the middle of the night and gwen was there to comfort her in s1/2. this time the tables have turned and it's morgana comforting gwen. simply delicious.

M: "My darling, I was wrong to make you suffer."

TEA! to say that this line was spoken from the bottom of morgana's heart might just be a bit too delusional, but i like to think there's at least some truth to it. torturing gwen had a lot of paralells to morgana's own imprisonment and torture, and she did want to make her suffer, at least in the beginning. but it was also different from what morgana went through. this is NOT to justify torture, btw, torture is BAD, but her "manipulation" tactics got a bit too personal at some point, and i like to think at least a part of it was genuine.

G: "No. Whatever twisted game you're playing, I want no part in it. I would rather stay here and die."

ouch. gwen's resistance to the last possible minute shows such strength on her part (cause me? i would've given in before she even dragged me through the desert tbh) and it gave us such a delicious performance from angel; the reluctance? the uncertainty? the distrust? the relief that morgana is there but also the FEAR of what she's doing? the contradiction between the morgana that gwen once knew and the morgana that everyone KNOWS is evil? but the morgana that gwen once knew is shining through now, and she's saying everything gwen wants to hear... grade-A angst.

IN CONCLUSION they're gfs your honor, this was all just a plot to snatch gwen back from arthur cause morgana didn't think seducing her herself would work. (this phrase could be in reference to this ep or the "lancelot du lac" ep i'm cackling morgana really is hopeless) there are also SEVERAL psychological layers to it, but describing it this way is just easier.

SO... this is possibly the longest post i've ever made. it got a little more comprehensive than i originally thought it would be, but THERE YOU HAVE IT! that's my take on the morgwen interactions in the dark tower. if i seem a little biased, that's because i 100% am :) i hope that clears things up. this is an open invitation to keep sending me asks (even if it's about the most random things ever) cause i love them and i love every single person who sends in an ask, and a public apology for how long these answers get sometimes 😭

#the fuckass sarrum is public enemy number one #hate that guy #morgana defender til the day i die #yes she's done some questionable things but have you considered that she's baby #can you tell i'm biased #save me morgwen save me #morgwen will probably be my undoing at this point #they're so special to me #the dark tower #this episode was a whole rollercoaster #morgana's gf might've been stolen from her but she stole her BACK #and now she's dragging her across the desert #now they're having a lil heart to heart #back to torture #fruity #HAND HOLDING #torture again #bunch of other stuff happens #FRUITY AGAIN!#that's pretty much the summary #anyway i hope this is coherent enough to be read #feel free to discuss #include me in the discussion too i'm making an effort to socialize #bbc merlin #morgana pendragon #morgana #guinevere #morgwen #merlin theory

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