You know, with a thumbnail like that and a title like that, you'd think this would be a video of Nick All-Star, but because this channel is this channel, you genuinely can't be certain
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Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 16 (Epilogue 3 Page 3)
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In this week’s bonus content, you get a sneak peek into our unvarnished workflow, kazoos and all
DAVESPRITE: you and dirk havent killed each other
DAVESPRITE: im proud
HALSPRITE: By some minor miracle, yes. We even managed to be in the same room without breaking out into a slap fight.
DAVESPRITE: im sure resisting took all your processing power
HALSPRITE: Pity you can't uninstall rage from a meatbrain.
DAVESPRITE: he doesnt seem that bad
HALSPRITE: Nah, he and I worked it out. He might have wanted to push me into the volcano, but the important thing is that he didn't.
HALSPRITE: We're both trying to "be the bigger person". Which in a way, is just another dick measuring contest for the pair of us. But it gets fewer glasses stomped on.
DAVESPRITE: hey if it works
DAVESPRITE: mines chilled out too actually its kind of freaky
DAVESPRITE: i wonder if someones slipping him valium this is the perkiest ive been since show and tell in the first grade
DAVESPRITE: which consequently was the last show and tell i was allowed to participate in
DAVESPRITE: maybe i dont need to overextend myself distinguishing our brands
DAVESPRITE: here i was thinking about finally ditching the shades
HALSPRITE: That would be a shake-up.
HALSPRITE: You thought paradoxes were bad? This is set to bomb reality straight back to singularity levels.
DAVESPRITE: i mean these were a gift from john and im not sure the same sentiments extended anymore
DAVESPRITE: plus i spent the last 3 years on a dayglo yellow ship and back in the incipisphere its fuckin dark with these on
DAVESPRITE: the chess dudes whove gotten used to me as a hallway cryptid will have to deal
HALSPRITE: Cause of the apocalypse: death of the Strider brand.
DAVESPRITE: if thats how the world ends ill have to usher it in with my sudden drop in coolness levels
DAVESPRITE: like i said its just a thought
DAVESPRITE: maybe ill come up with a better tepid gesture of rebellion
HALSPRITE: Go full furry and embrace your avian side?
HALSPRITE: I mean, check me out, I'm changing up my code on the daily. Look, I've installed iTunes.
DAVESPRITE: ok FIRST of all
HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFpzp10Qr4o
DAVESPRITE: i went to the anthro side unwillingly ok im not a due paying member
DAVESPRITE: second of all is it even furry if youre not a mammal ive made a concerted effort not to learn the fuckin taxonomy of this particular subculture
HALSPRITE: I could give you a primer.
DAVESPRITE: / i have a bad feeling about this video
DAVESPRITE: / ... it was proved accurate
HALSPRITE: Now shhh, listen to the soothing noise of these kazoos.
DAVESPRITE: ive spent 6 years trying to avoid that no thanks
HALSPRITE: Shhhhhhh.
HALSPRITE: Only kazoos.
DAVESPRITE: / i dont think this is going in the final cut
HALSPRITE: So help me god the kazoos stay ]]
DAVESPRITE: / screams
HALSPRITE: You don't like kazoos then motherfucker ive got a whole PLAYLIST to choose from ]]
HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzKWbpSNkmk ]]
HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7OqUxxXshc ]]
HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKrO8kS8D6g ]]
DAVESPRITE: im dying squirtle
HALSPRITE: Bullshit like ths.
HALSPRITE: It could all be yours, Dave.
DAVESPRITE: / but at what cost
DAVESPRITE: / i dont even know where to pick up the conversational thread at this point
HALSPRITE: Say anything, or shelve it for later ]]
DAVESPRITE: / no no we will keep going im just trying to figure out where to steer us
DAVESPRITE: / does hal have any lingering shit at this point
DAVESPRITE: / i dont have the necro log so i dont know Where Hes At (tm)
HALSPRITE: I'm just winging it off a basic idea tbh ]]
DAVESPRITE: lmao
DAVESPRITE: // * lmao
DAVESPRITE: / ok gimme a sec
DAVESPRITE: / im being lulled into a trance by savior of the slamming jam
HALSPRITE: Come slam with us, Dave.
HALSPRITE: Forever and ever.
DAVESPRITE: this is getting uncomfortably meta
DAVESPRITE: / ok redirect in 3 2 1
DAVESPRITE: so whats next
DAVESPRITE: all set to become the god of memes
DAVESPRITE: see at this point in the last session i was dutifully waiting to get turned into mulch
HALSPRITE: Well, you were an aspiring 13 year old of the twenty-first century. Surely, you had some probably misguided career ambitions back you're now free to pursue.
DAVESPRITE: / my god
DAVESPRITE: / what must this fuckin childs career ambitions have been
DAVESPRITE: the guidance counselors tried their best to steer me away from professional ninja
HALSPRITE: Well, good news, they're dead and thoroughly out of your way now.
DAVESPRITE: youre 8 fuckin years old and they already want to know what your college major is going to be
DAVESPRITE: thats like asking da vinci to pick visual arts or steampunk inventions for shits sake
DAVESPRITE: obviously i have to embrace my inner renaissance man while also being a reclusive depressed fuck
DAVESPRITE: so that must be my destiny
DAVESPRITE: to become nikola tesla
HALSPRITE: You already have the affinity for birds.
HALSPRITE: Step one is accomplished.
DAVESPRITE: oh damn he was a pigeon fucker wasnt he
DAVESPRITE: and this conversation comes full terribly circle
DAVESPRITE: well what about you do you have your 5 year plan
DAVESPRITE: shit i dont even know if theres civilization where were going
DAVESPRITE: maybe its cave painting or mammoth hunting for the next thousand years
HALSPRITE: This is where I would make a joke about world domination, but I doubt the Fun Police would be too pleased about it.
HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll go back to tinkering. Maybe make giant robots.
DAVESPRITE: / i was going to make a joke about pacific rim but i think th at came out after 2009
DAVESPRITE: thats an option isnt it
DAVESPRITE: old hobbies
DAVESPRITE: maybe ill take more shitty selfies
DAVESPRITE: collecting dead shit isnt as appealing as it used to be
DAVESPRITE: thats what we need a hipster photo blog documenting all the bullshit we get up to
DAVESPRITE: humans of universe c
DAVESPRITE: humans*
HALSPRITE: No, go one better. Get a YouTube channel, they get media deals. For some reason.
DAVESPRITE: well restring the internet ourselves if we have to
DAVESPRITE: / anything to suckle from the rich teat of capitalism
HALSPRITE: So help me god, I will, if for no other reason than to preserve humanity's cultural legacy.
HALSPRITE: As a dire fucking warning, if nothing else.
DAVESPRITE: looks like were going to have to sit down and divvy up our personality and hobbies sykes picot style
DAVESPRITE: he can have the dead shit in jars im going to be the next ansel adams
HALSPRITE: Damn, calling dibs on photographing all the spectacular vistas of...
HALSPRITE: Wherever the hell we're going?
HALSPRITE: Gutsy move, my man.
DAVESPRITE: im not copyrighting the entire concept of photography or anything but ive got to be the dave that does SOMETHING
DAVESPRITE: the dave who broods
DAVESPRITE: turn left to witness this exhibit of highway clickbait
DAVESPRITE: which is what were calling roadside attractions now
DAVESPRITE: youve already got your madlibs pornos
HALSPRITE: That'll keep me occupied for like, a week.
HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll take up equestrianism.
HALSPRITE: ...that's the word for it, right?
HALSPRITE: Horses and shit. The full-sized ones.
DAVESPRITE: youll have to ride side saddle
DAVESPRITE: / he's in for a shock when he sees how big they are
HALSPRITE: With this tail bullshit flowing in the wind.
HALSPRITE: Or I can modify that code too. Might take a few tries.
DAVESPRITE: when you revert to your t pose and clip through the floor into the core of the earth im not helping
HALSPRITE: I'll live.
HALSPRITE: Probably.
HALSPRITE: It'll be an interesting experience, being a living Bethesda game.
HALSPRITE: You think I can turn my entire head into a train?
DAVESPRITE: cant jades grandpa do shit like that without even having to worry about semicolons and curly braces
DAVESPRITE: i doubt hell let you turn your head into a locomotive though
HALSPRITE: I could try. He'll need help exploring the full extent of his radical new real-life modding ability.
HALSPRITE: Dude has access to the fucking source code.
DAVESPRITE: did we stumble into a matrix au
HALSPRITE: If we did, we'd probably be public enemy number one. Programs and all. Mr. Anderson.
DAVESPRITE: can you confirm or deny youd be the villain in that scenario
HALSPRITE: If anything, I'd be the mysterious arms merchant who manages to appear right when you need him. But that's crossing into even more distant territory.
HALSPRITE: And if we're gonna start talking video games, the kazoos are gonna come back.
DAVESPRITE: guess well find out who everyones going to be in our upcoming hit series "what the fuck are we doing with our lives"
DAVESPRITE: the biggest mystery will be telling all the chathandles apart
HALSPRITE: You know, I was thinking of changing mine.
DAVESPRITE: wait really
HALSPRITE: If we want to keep the unspoken nucleotide theme, uracil is still pretty up for grabs.
HALSPRITE: Calliope has UU locked down tight, but every other acronym is available.
DAVESPRITE: huh
DAVESPRITE: no dice on FU then
HALSPRITE: Honestly, if you're thinking of ditching the shades, might as well go all in.
DAVESPRITE: any suggestions
DAVESPRITE: what are you calling yourself
HALSPRITE: / let me go find the necro log I think that's where I put it lmao
HALSPRITE: unrefinedTrainwreck was fun to bother Dirk with, but I'm still workshopping it.
DAVESPRITE: ill give it some thought i guess
DAVESPRITE: we can workshop it later
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