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#things ive learned
hermajestyimher · 3 months
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You must master the art of believing in yourself. Nothing will propel you more forward in life than unwavering belief in yourself and your capabilities. This means rejecting any thoughts of self-doubt, of glorifying the input of others over your own, of seeing yourself as beneath others, or putting the considerations of others over your own.
You want to develop the type of confidence that is rooted so deeply within you that nothing can shake it. Having that type of confidence will keep you focused on the goal or mission and will keep you going when things get tough. It won't allow the opinions of others to skew the path you've decided for yourself.
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littlemisshaveitall · 2 years
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Season Secrets: July 31st
If you don’t stick to you boundaries , you will suffer - it’s not a warning , it’s a promise.
This has been said and will continue to be said because it needs to be engraved. This isn’t a dating hacks post , telling you to pretend to be busy so as to put up a front, no baby, this is a post to tell you regardless of what you are doing your boundaries come first . Jobless or not ( but do invest in a hobby ,love, you can’t have time boundaries then do nothing with your time)
Small Boundaries
In my opinion, the most significant boundaries are the small ones because If you break those for someone , they will see you for what you are and they won’t respect you in the long run. If you sleep at 10 and that man calls at 10:30 , what are you doing picking up the phone ? You should be asleep with your phone on DND. He knows you sleep early but chooses to call late without even a text- it’s a no from me. If you workout at 5PM but your girl calls at 4:45 telling you to take her out and you drop all your plans for her right there , then I have to break it to you hun, you not prioritizing yourself and your plans (in terms of bettering yourself because disclaimer, you can’t always be too busy for your partner, check yourself there.) is not attractive and they know it. Partners, especially if your messing with a person who’s been ‘around the block’, can sense it when you crave their validation so much that you don’t respect yourself and your time and they will use it to their advantage. So my love , the next time you’re in the middle of a writing an important essay and they call and ask if you’re free, say no and give them a time that works for you. If plans aren't made in advance they should not get in the way of any plans you had made before.
How to respond in such situations.
At the end of the day , communication is always best and I’m about to show you how to use it.
Situation 1 : Calling after your bedtime.
- Tell them that you don’t pick up calls past a certain time and if they want to reach you , they should call before then.
- If it’s about to reach your bedtime and you are still on the call , please you know better , sleep. The only exception here, is if you know you have no obligations the next day or if your partner is crying on the phone about something ( we can’t lose empathy trying not to get played but do be wary. People out here really know how to tug at your heart strings as a means of manipulation). From experience, if you consistently extend the calls, you will always end up extending the calls and they will know you prioritize their presence instead of your discipline and again , it’s not a good look but also you’re letting yourself down. It’s always the little things.
Situation 2: Asking you out when you’re busy.
- Tell them you are busy , you don’t have to tell them with what if you don’t want to , then include a time in which you will be free .
It’s sounds a little like this: ‘Damn , I’m not really free right now but I will be in the next 30 mins or so . Can I call you back at that time’
In general, it’s okay to be busy but it’s not okay to not put in effort for the person you like hence always give a time in which you’re free or best case scenario, decide a time between you and your partner specifically for the both of you and stick to it.
Big boundaries.
It goes without saying that , these are more than important and the good thing about these, they aren’t hard to miss.
One of my big boundaries is that I would never date someone who’s favourite everyday past time is partying/alcohol/drugs/gambling. I’ve been there and it’s not fun at all.
The issue: They will rarely pick you when it comes down to it. If they do, I’m happy for you but loves , how sure are we that the person you fancy would stop for you. This will lead to more problems along the way because the little money they get ,will be recklessly spent funding the addiction they claim they don’t have or the little time you have with them will be spent with you trying to bond with someone who’s buzzed out of their mind . I don’t know about you but I’m a sucker for attention so that’s definitely a no for me.
This is one of my most significant boundaries, and I used to tell myself that it was fine. I made rules such as "if you don’t do it in front of me it’s okay" or "if you only do it in certain places it’s okay". It wasn’t okay and I’ve learnt that. At the end of the day , they still do it and it will bother you , whether it’s the fact that you can smell it, their decreased attention span, or the anxiety you feel. Compromising to stay with them will lead to resentment and the thought that says "it’s okay" is a liar. So whatever your major boundaries are , honor them.
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When talking about boundaries, it is also important to talk about grace. Sometimes people genuinely don’t know (unless of course you directly told them). I was talking to a friend of mine about red flags within both of us and she said , ‘ a big one for us would be to limit our saltiness when we hear what we don’t want to hear or when our partners don’t respond in the way we want them to. Let say , you tell them about how someone told you got bigger but they don’t see anything wrong with it because to them it’s just a story like any other day since they don’t understand or know your insecurities surrounding your size. We might have a right to get mad of course but not when they don’t understand. Obviously it’s great having someone who always knows what to do or say without you voicing it but they can’t read your mind so you have to give them the grace to learn how to treat you well.’
It is so important to give your partner grace because they give you grace as well but don’t let yourself become a door mat in the process.
‘Once you see that someone would sacrifice for you is when you sacrifice for them’ - My Mother
Everything is always circumstantial but circumstances are rarely consistent. Do with that as you will
Love ,
Quesa
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i-bring-crack · 7 months
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*Learning anything about Liu Zhigang.*
Me: oh my god king yasss you so smart and cool yasss
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aquamarineglow · 1 year
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Remember that scene in Azran Legacy when Bishop was 100% ready to shoot Old Red?
Audio from Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
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nd-poite · 7 months
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A Few Things I’ve Learned While “living my life for myself and not others”
1. Everything I’m worried about can wait until tomorrow, worrying doesn’t make it go away
2. The only that’s going to kill me, is what actually kills me — not the thing I’m worried about
3. It’s okay to disappoint people — especially your parents, your idols, your mentors; they aren’t the ones who have to live with your regrets
4. Real love can’t be pushed away, it always comes back seeking or lives in another place — still loving
5. Writing people off is double edged sword. . . Don’t make other peoples decisions for them
6. You can make someone jealous, they can desire you or be entertained — but you can’t make someone respect you, cherish you, or be devoted to you
7. Real relationships just accept you as you are, and want you to show up as you are — they aren’t interested in the “ideal” you
8. Also, real relationships will be your most loving critics and hold you accountable whilst being supportive
9. You’ll never truly know what someone is thinking or feeling, just let them show you
10. You’re not a toy or a resource — for other people to take from
11. Your body isn’t an accessory, take care of it and be kind to it
12. There’s a chance tomorrow exists, you should entertain the idea of it
13. Having a plan B doesn’t mean you’re expecting to fail, it just means you’re not afraid to succeed
14. It’s okay when things don’t happen according to plan, you can still enjoy yourself
15. You aren’t weak if you don’t succeed, you gave it your all, it’s just life
16. I think it’s extremely healthy to learn when to tell yourself no; indulgence is a treat and over indulgence is just being greedy
17. Do the thing you’re most scared of — everyone is scared of something, it’s better to live a life of passion and light than a life of fear (and anyways, it gives you something to talk about)
18. Do one thing today that will help you tomorrow
19. Love the parts of you that no one else claps for & don’t let your creativity die (your dreams) because you didn’t have support
20. Stop trying to predict & control the future
21. There are things you can’t prevent or avoid, you have to learn how to cope, have appropriate emotional responses, and get through it
22. There’s a difference between pleasure and joy. . . Pleasure is short-lived, joy is everlasting
23. It’s not about what’s normal, it’s a matter of what’s appropriate — screw normal and average
24. God exists, he loves you irregardless of your choices and flaws etc — I don’t think he’s angry as much as he’s just worried about you and wants you to take better care of yourself
25. ?
@lou-0207 @teacup1 — I challenge y’all to write some too ❤️
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feelings-fleeted · 1 year
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how refreshing to open up and finding strangers from far away relating with you. internet is not such a bad place after all.
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azurefandomfox · 1 year
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Some things I've noticed from the first episode of Number Lore + Some theories.
A few things I've noticed:
-How X reacts to seeing One.
-How one says his name. WUH-
-Seven's window on the calculator ship is cracked, possibly because of the "Seven Ate Nine" joke.
-How Q was so fast to warn the others of the incoming calculator ship, even though he's a legit slug.
-B's reaction to the ship. He was surprised.
-How the calculator ship landed. That must've hurt for Z, man...
-How One knew the exact location of X.
A few theories:
X is secretly Multiplication.
The numbers are possibly targeting X.
Who is the planet of the numbers if Z is the planet of the letters? Is it pi? Square Root? Who knows...
What do the numbers want from X? His gem?
Are the numbers from another universe?
🔥🌟🔥🌟
We all have our own theories. :)
-Mod Mocha ❤️
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lordrawrxe · 2 years
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Things I’ve Read since I started my 100 pages a day challenge yesterday:
1. The Anxiety of Influencers by Barrett Swanson: “Because mostly what I’m thinking about are my students, those bleary-eyed twenty-somethings in sweatpants and hoodies who frequently appear in the doorway of my office, sad in a way they cannot explain, desperate for something they don’t know how to have. That the view of personhood produced by the economy of influence is the same brass-tacks thinking that has infiltrated the university might be the single greatest repudiation of the pixelated world that we’re now asking them to inhabit.” 
2. The violence behind outing someone by Sohini Chatterjee: “I have learned from having struggled with myself for years that there is language for my pain but no security when it is articulated, no refuge or calm when it is revealed. There is no room for rage. There is no promise of healing. Cishet civility is a hassle for queer people. It creates no safe spaces for our anger to be understood as critique and as protest against normativity. All avenues of conversation and understanding are already always closed off and rendered into various impossibilities.What we do not talk about is where our story begins.” “Silence is seldom a choice for queer people. It is always a decision externally enforced on us that we are expected to claim as our own. Silence gives us corporeal security while taking away our affective safeguards. Unjust trade-offs are the defining feature of our survival. Bigotry couched in claims of righteousness is frequently warped to disfavor us. Being queer often means getting offered conditional living in silence or being dismissed for dissidence. Like all binaries, this is also as inflexible as it is violent.”
3. Curating the Anthropocene by Jon Christenson and Ursula K Haise: “The future is already here — it’s just not evenly distributed yet.”
4. When did being busy become a status symbol? by Global News 
5. The myth of mad genius by Christa L Taylor
The photo is by Steve McCurry, a scene in Srinagar, Kashmir
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deen-0verr-dunyaa · 1 year
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23 Things I’ve Learned at 23
You are the only person that can provide closure for your situation. Oftentimes if you tell yourself you need *one more conversation* with a person to gain “proper closure” you’re chasing a way to secretly open back up a relationship that clearly is not meant for you.
You don’t always need to be on a journey of betterment. Sometimes it's okay to be happy with the person that you are. It’s important to be self-aware and strive towards being the best version of yourself, but this is your first time here on earth. It’s okay to go easy on yourself.
There is no such thing as “good” or “bad” emotions. They are all meant to be felt and serve a different purpose. Sometimes that purpose reveals itself later in life. Just focus on feeling your emotions and being present with them. Remember- ignoring your emotions just presents themselves to you in different ways.
Don’t just tell people you love them. Show people you love them.
No person is below you- No person is above you. Don’t idolize human beings, and don’t dehumanize them either.
The only way to go from down is up. Please read that again and please remind yourself of that constantly when times are tough. I promise you these words go a lot further than you think.
This should have been number one, but remember God always. He’s always with you, He always hears you and He understands better than any human could. Sometimes, you don’t have to vocalize what's wrong. He can look in your heart and know exactly what's going on. That should give you all the comfort in the world.
Enjoy your time alone. Learn about yourself. What makes you happy? What gets you annoyed? What motivates you? Everything you want to know about your potential spouse, learn it about yourself first. Are you happy with the person you are? If not, it’s never too late to create that version of yourself.
Everything is temporary. The quicker you are able to accept that truth, the quicker it frees you (Ironic, I know).
Have the best intentions for anyone and everyone you meet. If not for them, for yourself. Trust me, it keeps the heart light.
Take care of your body. Prioritize sleep, nutrition, exercise and your mental well-being.
Believe in yourself. I mean this in the corniest possible way. Speak to yourself as if you are talking to the 9 year old version of yourself. Tell her she is smart, tell her she is capable, tell her she is worthy of love. The more you tell yourself, the more you internalize it and it reflects outside of you.
Don’t ever talk bad about yourself, or anyone around you. Because trust me, that internalizes itself and can reflect outside of you too.
There is always more room at the table. Celebrate people's victories, even if it means that you lost your position. I promise you, you get what you put out into the world.
Always remember “Noor.” It does not matter what facial features you have, if you remember God and act on his word, that will shine through on your face.
Anything that God forbids you from- saves you.
Whatever you do, be present. Enjoy the people in the room, reflect on the environment around you, truly taste the food you are eating. Whatever it is, be present.
You are a person outside of the role that you play. You are not just a “social worker” or a “wife” or a “daughter.” You are a human.
Don’t wallow in self-pity. It’s so easy to get stuck in a victim-mentality, but the sooner you understand that you have the power to change your situation, the sooner you are able to grow into the person you are meant to be.
People love you. Truly, they love your thoughts, your curiosity, your humor, everything about you! And guess what, you are worth that love. The world is a better place with you in it.
Being able to spend some time in silence is usually a good sign. Being alone with your thoughts or just being able to “tune off” is freeing. Always needing music, tv or your phone on is not healthy. Spend your commute in silence (you might just learn something about yourself)
“You accept the love you think you deserve.” 13 year old me did not appreciate that quote enough. When I started to love myself more and take care of it both physically and mentally, I just naturally put up with less shit from the people around me. People can feel when you are insecure, and they feed off of it. You are easier to take advantage of when you are insecure because validation is usually craved from outside sources. When you get your validation from within and you believe you are worth all the love and respect and care in the world, I promise people pick up on that.
We are not the judge of whether a person is “bad” or “good.” Everyone has a story. Whether you want to learn their story or not is your decision, but whether they are deserving of happiness and love is not. 
(An extra one for good luck) God is with you always.
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smiles-advice · 2 years
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Things I Have Learnt (part 4 or 5)
🌸 kindness literally costs nothing
🌸 as long as you’re trying, you have something to be proud of
🌸 being stuck in the past can hold you back in the future
🌸 the right attitude can make any challenge seem easy
🌸 some people don’t deserve your time
🌸 a good nights sleep can make all the difference
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hermajestyimher · 1 month
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Be Comfortable With Being the Villain
In my country we have a saying: "I am not a golden coin to be liked by everyone". It doesn't matter how "nice", correct, and appeasing we may behave with others, there will always be those who will dislike us for no apparent reason. Learning to not only be ok with them disliking you, but going as far as to embracing it can propel you forward.
Many people will dislike you because you trigger something in them that makes them feel threatened, less-than, or jealous. That is a them problem. If those same people proceed to lie about you and attack you to try to take you down, you need to be prepared to be ok with being perceived in a negative light by them and the people who choose to believe them. At the end of the day their talking is just that, and it cannot affect you if you choose to rise above it.
Learning to embrace being hated means that you can stop trying to seem agreeable and nice to everyone and instead pursue respect. Someone doesn't have to like you to still respect you. Respect and status will allow you to rub shoulders with people who can improve your life in meaningful ways, and place you in spaces where you can flourish.
Being liked is overrated and at times useless. Instead, be a woman of influence, power, and good character. When your brand speaks for yourself, the naysayers become powerless and desperate, and others will be able to see right through their lies.
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littlemisshaveitall · 2 years
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Season Secrets: August 7 Your Partner is NOT your therapist (and neither are his friends or yours)
It’s very tempting to tell your partner every single detail of your life and it’s genuinely allowed, they are your partner but love, not all partners have our best interests at heart. It can backfire and if it does, it’s going to hurt so before you decide to pour your heart, your daily recaps and any insecurities you must watch them.
You must watch your conversations and notice if it is always you talking. Of course, if you know your partner isn’t the talking type and has always been that way then it's okay to an extent but don’t take this disclaimer and run for the hills, you need to analyse if they really are that way or if they are that way with you. Don’t fall for “I just like listening to you” or “Your voice makes me happy”. All of that might be true but if your partner refrains from sharing about their lives but always indulges you to share about yours, you might potentially have a problem. As @honestsinnerrr has said before, ‘Men are info diggers’ and they will use the information you give against you and not only them but people in general.
You must listen to what they ask and really hear them. If they seem to constantly steer the conversation to a particular topic ask yourself why. What value does that  topic present to them? What information are you giving and what can they do with it? If push comes to shove and what you’ve said comes out what is the impact?It is so important to know or at least have an inkling of knowledge about someone’s motives, especially your partners and friends.
You must watch who they are without you and find out why it is the case. You cannot tell me, they are the most talkative person on earth or the most charismatic person with an audience but with you they are suddenly a mouse caught in a trap.If they act of character they want something and are finding out how to get it. Miss me with the BS of “ He gets shy with me” or “She just likes when I do this and that” Sir, Ma’am that might be the case but surely, is it? On this point, you should also intently listen to the petty gossip you hear about them(obviously from reliable sources) , it will give you a sense of who they are and will aid your decision in trusting them with the intricacies of your life.
You might also be wondering why I mentioned your partner’s friends in the title. That was for us clueless babes.If you complain about your partner to their friends they will not only relay all of it to your partner but more often than not they don’t care about you and it will be these friends who cover for your partner if they cheat or do something of the sort. They hold no loyalties to you. Remember that.
It is important to watch the people in our lives because we can’t just disclose everything to everyone and before you decide what you can disclose with whoever, please babe, these topics… are off until they reach best friend status.
Relationship Issues - Refer to a therapist or two friends max
Family Issues - Again therapist ( There’s absolutely no reason to be spilling family drama on to the group chat)
Money - Even with the closest of the closest , unless you are declaring bankruptcy and need a couch to sleep on , we don’t do that here.
Your friend’s issues - Why are you telling your partner your friend’s business when they told you in confidence, I personally think that it’s plainly disrespectful unless your partner can help them in one way or another.
Your future plans - This could be due to evil eye or unnecessary sabotage from randoms but it is also psychological. When we talk about plans that haven’t manifested yet to lots of people we trick our minds into believing that we have actually achieved our goals and that in turn makes us less likely to achieve them
There’s always more to add and feel free to do so (don’t be extreme lovies) but I’d like to mention that as much as your friends/partners can screw you over with the information you give them, it is also extremely important to not become closed off in an effort to protect yourself because every single relationship platonic or not is a risk and after you’ve done your trust risk assessment and you deem them people you can trust, their dishonesty is not on you baby. I’ve been there, I traded meaningful conversations for surface level pleasantries and I missed out on significant connections because I was scared of being hurt again. Being hurt is always a risk but if you always live in defence mode you aren’t living so you must find a balance. My friend says “ You can only live a good life if you throw yourself completely into it and that’s every aspect of it. So loving like you’ve never loved before, living like you’ve never loved before, laughing like you’ve never loved before, trusting like you’ve never trusted before even though other things have given you reason not to because the moment you start to restrict yourself and hold yourself back , you diminish the quality of your life.” 
You need to take the risk 
but only if it’s calculated.
Love,
Quesa
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jojotier · 10 months
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Dante Inferno Canto 20 transphobia Jumpscare. Sad! oh well there's other catholics
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mymessmymonkey · 2 years
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Before I forget... It's not nice to make someone relive their guilt when they are or have been doing their best to make it right. I 'm tired of reliving it everyday as it is!
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