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#they will never stop bringing me to tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lovingmattysposts · 3 days
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Quiet 10
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pairing: y/n and Matt sturniolo
summary: a girl with a lot of baggage and a boy with even more try to help put each others pieces back together one by one. A story about a girl who’s broken and a boy who doesn’t talk
warnings: mentions of family death and trauma
matt pov
Tears flooded my eyes as I walked away clutching my book to my chest. I tried my best to fight them off but I knew I wouldn't be able to. I closed my eyes in case anyone passing by would see me. I didn’t want them to stare more than they already do.
I knew if I didn’t get up and walk away I would have cried right there in front of her, and I’d rather jump in front of a moving vehicle than do that and that’s saying a lot.
Even if she already thought I was weak, I didn't want to prove it to her. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I pushed the doors of the school open. I couldn’t do it. Not today. I couldn’t sit there and know that his lips have been on her. If not just her neck.
God, I was going to puke at the thought of it, his lips against her skin, hard enough to leave marks. The cold air hit me, I was finally out. I looked up briefly, silently thanking her for not following me like she always did. I didn't want her to see me, not like this.
I looked down at my feet as I walked home.
“It was my curling iron”
My stomach twisted. I was pathetic. I wiped the tears that came to the tip of my nose under my glasses. I liked one girl and they kissed someone else, and I was in tears. Maybe it wasn’t just that. Maybe it was everything else. I knew it wasn’t. I shook my head as I gasped for a breath, that came out more like a strangled sob.
I was the definition of pathetic.
I wasn't meant for this. To like a girl. It wasn't in the cards for me. I wish it had never happened.
There was nothing I could do to stop her from liking him, from kissing him, from touching him, from—-
I closed my eyes and shook my head as I tried to breathe, trying not to picture it.
She hadn’t even tried to hide it. Like she’d never gotten one before. She had her hood up, but that was it. I was looking at her, like I always do. It was hard to miss.
Staring at me from the inside of her neck. Taunting me. Like he branded himself in her skin. Her silk soft skin. My stomach dropped. I licked my lips and shook my head. She can kiss people Matt, I tried to convince myself.
But him?
My lip shook and I bit down on it. I’m not weak. I’m not a baby. Babies cry. I don’t cry.
It's not like she would choose to kiss you anyway, get over yourself.
“What’s wrong?” Chris immediately asked when I walked into the house. I looked up at him and that was it.
Everything I’d been carrying inside me, every rude comment, every insensitive look, every emotion thats happened to me in the past year came crashing down.
And I broke.
-
y/n pov
Jake slipped his hand into mine, before I could even register that he was there. I looked up at him slightly shocked from the action and flexed my hand against his. He smiled down at me as he matched my walking speed.
“Where were you yesterday?” He asked looking down at me. I looked down at our hands and then back up at his eyes. “Oh uh—“ I cleared my throat.
“My dad was sick, had to take care of him” I said shaking my head. Which was half true. He came home, stumbling. Puked everywhere. I spent an hour, crying, cleaning it up.
I swallowed at the memory. Yesterday could have gone down as the worst day of my life.
“Oh well, are you coming to my hockey game? Tomorrow? 9pm?” He tilted his head as he pulled me to stop against the lockers with him. I opened my mouth to speak as he grabbed my other hand interlocking both our hands, pulling me against him.
“Uh—“ I glanced down the hallway. Third period and still no signs of Matt today. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach from his absence. It didn't feel right. I looked back at Jake who was waiting for an answer.
“Yeah maybe, I’ll see what Matt’s doing” I replied. Bringing our hands down. His eyebrows furrowed. “Who's Matt?" He asked unimpressed. I blinked at him.
"Matt" I stated. He shrugged. "Matt, my friend? From the hockey game?" I mumbled towards him. Jake narrowed his eyes before he remembered.
"Ah right. The kid that doesn't speak" He chuckled. I swallowed and unhooked our hands. "Don't be.....mean, Jake" I whispered as I crossed my arms over myself. He stood up from leaning.
"Sorry, it's just...he doesn't talk does he? It's just weird to me. He just kind of stares and---"
"Jake, please" I shook my head, the last thing I needed right now was this. He looked down at me and shook his head.
"Hey, no. I'm sorry okay--i'm sorry" He said before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and kissing the top of my head.
I swallowed.
“Game, tomorrow. Please?” He breathed before looking down at me. I sighed and looked at my feet. “Yeah okay” I swallowed. He smiled.
“Good, I’ll see you then” He breathed before walking off. I just watched him as he walked away feeling a horrible feeling in my stomach. I closed my eyes and looked down at my feet.
-
Matt didn’t show up all day. Not at lunch. Not to walk home. None of it. He was gone as if he never existed. It gave me chills. It let me uneasy.
I sat with Jake and his friends at lunch. I hadn't had anything to eat, i've noticed the past two weeks my weight loss and I hated it. The way the bones in my cheeks thinned and my hip bones protruded. I swallowed.
Lacey's gaze definitely didn't help her concept that I had an eating disorder. I guess in their world it would be better to pretend to have an eating disorder rather than to admit I was just too poor to eat.
Tears brimmed at my eyes.
"Are you okay?" Jake leaned down and whispered, making the entire table's vision shift to me. I looked up at Jake and met everyone's eyes. I nodded and forced a smile. So much it hurt. I glanced over to the empty table Matt and I sit at usually.
This didn't feel right. I hated this. I should be over there. Matt should be there. But he wasn't. I felt my stomach twist. What if he was hurt? What if something happened? What if he was so angry with me he couldn't face me?
"Y/n"
I blinked up at him. He chuckled. "Is that a yes?" He asked moving his hand over my knee. I blinked at me. "Is what a yes?" I asked softly realizing I completely spaced out the conversation.
"Party" He leaned down and pressed his lips to my cheek. "My house" Kissed the other cheek. I looked up at him. "this weekend" He kissed me, in front of everyone. I felt Lacey's eyes specifically burn into me from across the table, and Nadia jab her with her elbow.
"Uh--" I swallowed as I stared up at him. “Y/n, please come” Nadia said from across from me. "Yes, sounds fun" I smiled and looked down at the table.
"Have you even been to a party before?"
I turned meeting Lacey's gaze. "I--" I started.
"A real party, not a birthday party" She smiled before chuckling. My face whitened. I looked down and played with my hands to look away from her.
"I wasn't gonna say a birthday party" I mumbled. She laughed to herself.
"You've been to a party before right?" Jake mumbled down to me. I peered up at him. "Y-Yeah" I nodded. I hadn't. Never been invited to one before. I swallowed. He smiled placing his hand back on my leg, his palm coming over my knee.
"Good" He smiled. I took in a breath wanting to hide my face in my hands. I hadn't realized how quickly the switch of wanting to be his friend to his new arm candy had been. We kissed two days ago, now I felt like I was on display. Like I was standing on a stage and half of the audience wanted to throw tomatoes at me. Right now, I wanted to throw tomatoes at myself.
Disappear. Disappear. Disappear.
My mind started to replay my favorite things. Sparkle, walking, Matt, Matt, Matt.
"Can Matt come?" I turned to him quickly. Even though by this point I didn't even know if Matt was alive, I still wanted him to come. Even if he was mad. Jake looked down at me, before shifting his gaze to his friends.
"He might not want to--It's just-" I shook my head. I looked down. "It’d be nice to invite him" I mumbled feeling less confident due to the look on his face. He sighed before he nodded.
"Yeah, invite whoever you want" He smiled briefly before starting another conversation with Tyler and Gavin about the game tomorrow. I wasn't listening, I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't focus on anything, not with the way I left things off with Matt.
I turned to the empty table. I had a really bad feeling.
And fuck I missed him.
-
Chris opened the door and stared down at me. He started to close the door. I held my arm out. "Chris--" I protested. He groaned and opened it slightly, but not enough for me to come in.
"He doesn't want to see you"
"Did he tell you that?"
He stared down at me.
"I don't want you to see him" He corrected himself. I sighed and looked down. "Okay Chris, you don't get to make those calls. I just...want to make sure he's okay" I said crossing my arm over my chest.
If looks could kill I'd be dead. His eyes trailed down to my neck. I'd done a better job of covering it up today. I made a point to. Still, he stared.
He turned around to look into the house and then looked back at me. "You're not gonna leave until I let you in are you?" He sighed. I shuffled on my feet.
"I need to make sure he's okay" I repeated myself. He pursed his lips before he opened the door for me to come in. "Fine" He spat and turned away from me. I swallowed before I walked into the house.
I walked down the hallway to Matt's room before knocking softly. No answer. No movement inside the room. I sighed and leaned against the door frame. I knocked again.
"Matt?" I breathed. Silence. I knocked again, panic coming through my body. "Matt, open the door" I spoke. Nothing. I stepped back feeing my heart beating. I stared at the door and I felt myself start to panic.
"Matt, please" I whispered. I heard the lock turn before the door cracked open. He stared down at me. I looked up at him, letting out a breath of relief that he was standing in front of me again. His hair was shaggy, but his eyes were still the same ocean blue.
I forced a small smile.
"You're alive" I breathed. Blank stare down at me.
"You weren't at school....I thought something happened" I swallowed. He looked down at his feet. Silence filled the air between us.
"There's something I wanna tell you" I spoke and his eyes came up to connect with mine. "Can I come in?" I breathed. He took in a breath looking down, as if he was contemplating it. He looked up at me before opening the door to let me.
I sighed of relief as I walked into his room.
He closed the door behind me before walking over to his bed and sitting on the edge of it, looking up to me. I didn't move to sit next to him. I just stood in front of him. He stared at me, like he was waiting for me to talk.
"I hated not being around you" I admitted dropping my arms. He looked down. "Maybe the reason you're acting like this has to do with me, maybe it doesn't---" I swallowed.
"Maybe I'm a self-centered bitch who thinks the world revolves around her" I looked down shaking my head. It's definitely what I felt like. I swallowed and I couldn't help but the tears weld at my eyes.
"This might sound stupid and you might thing I'm being ridiculous--" I shook my head looking away from him. He just watched me. I met his eyes and swallowed.
"You remind me a lot of my mom" I breathed. He didn't look at me like I was crazy, or stupid, or that I was talking out of my ass. He just listened.
"My mom was my best friend" I shook my head, a smile coming across my face. "She knew me better than anyone and it's like she--" I took in a breath.
"It's like she knew exactly what to say and do to calm me down, or make me forget about whatever was going on" I explained.
"When she got sick, she never let me know what she was feeling. She never let the sickeness come between our relationship. She always waited until I was asleep until she cried. She hid the details of her sickness. She didn't even--" I swallowed as tears brimmed at my eyes.
"She didn't even tell me she was dying until she was.." Breathe. Breathe. "Gone" My voice broke as I remembered the last moments with my mother, trying to piece together every last moment. Sometimes the lines and conversations blurred together.
"But she was my only friend" I shook my head. "She never made me feel like a loser or dumb for it" I said looking down at Matt. His eyes trained on me. "She was the best friend anyone could ever have. She was..the best" I shook my head.
"It's sounds stupid but my internal voice when I think or get stressed, it's---her" I smiled softly. "Like she's the one talking to me" I nodded. "Maybe that's stupid or insane but--" I shook my head.
"Sometimes when I look at you I can't help but see her because--" I sighed. "You have the same heart, the same kindness. The same...gentleness" I breathed.
"You don't look at me like the girl who doesn't have anything, the girl whose 'skin and bones', or even as the girl who lost her mom." I shook my head. "You look at me like i'm.....me" I whispered looking down at him.
"So kinda like when I was with my mom--when i'm with you I don't feel--" I swallowed. "As alone" I looked down as the words left my lips realizing how pathetic they sounded. My eyes filled with tears.
"Maybe that is pathetic and maybe I am--but--but--"
He stood and stepped forward before pulling me into him. I held back a cry as his arms came around me, his chin against my head. I sighed as I hugged him back. He sighed as he pulled against him.
"I didn't mean to cry, I’m sorry" I whispered.
He chuckled. Chuckled.
My eyes widened and I pulled back and he looked down at me with his mouth parted. I smiled through my tears. He closed his eyes and let out a breath. He looked off to his desk. I watched him.
He grabbed my shoulders and set me down on the bed. I just looked up at him. For a second he just stared down at me as he towered over me. His eyes scaling my face. I felt my heart start to beat. Before I could feel anything else he walked away.
He walked over to his desk before he sat down and pulled a notebook towards him. I just watched him as he put as he pulled out a pencil and tapped it against the page. He turned and looked at me before taking in a breath and started to write.
And he wrote and wrote and wrote. And I just watched him as he paused every now and then.
I don't know how long I sat there but by the time he walked over to me there were pages full of words.
He took in a breath once he stood in front of me, holding the page. He sat down next to me and handed me the paper.
I just looked at him and he motioned to the paper. I swallowed before I looked down at the page.
About a year ago is when it happened. Everything was pretty perfect in my life, which now is weird to think about. I guess I never really appriecated it until it was taken away from me. I went to Sommervile with Nick and Chris. We were all on the hockey team.
It was just another game. Another Tuesday. Nothing special. It was just suppose to be another game. I was stressed because I couldn't wrap my hocket stick right. I kept tearing off the tape. Over and Over. I must have done it 20 times before my mom came in.
She walked in an offered to do it for me. I slammed my stick down and left the room. I was so frustrated with the stupid fucking stick and all she did was offer to help.
I walked to the car and got in. My dad, Chris, and Nick were all waiting on me. We were already late to the game. That made me even more mad because if your late, coach would make you stay back and do drills to make up the time you missed.
My mom came in the car a few minutes later with my stick and I was still upset. I don't know why I cared so much about the stupid stick. I was stressed because I knew this game would make or break our season and If I didn't get there soon to mentally prepare, I wouldn't perform well. I didn't want that.
Dad rarely ever got off work too watch us play, so knowing he was going to be there added even more pressure that I didn't want to handle.
About 10 minutes into the car ride Chris started pushing me because he knew I was mad. We got into an argument and I shoved him. My mom turned around to yell at us and didn't see the car that was running a red light.
My heart stopped.
They slammed into us and caused us to go into a tail spin into a streetlamp. I remember the buzzing in my ear when it was over. Sometimes I still hear it. It was so loud but so quiet. Like the world was still.
I remember looking over at Chris, he was knocked out cold. Nick was awake. He sat up and grabbed my arm to pull me up.
I looked up to my mom and dad and I remember knowing in that very second they were gone and that my entire life would be different. I pushed off Nick and went to Chris. I shook him awake. I couldn't breathe. The debris was too much. The air was so thick.
I tried to scream for Chris but I couldn't speak. I couldn't. When he finally opened his eyes I pulled him into me and cried and cried.
Nick pulled us out of the car. He was the least injured because he was in the very back of the car. I just remember the pain shooting through my leg and shoulder. I didn't know then, but my leg was shattered from the knee down. I didn't know then that I'd never play hockey again.
I laid against the pavement of the intersection and just cried. When the paramedics arrived they spoke to Nick and Chris because I was in hysteria. I couldn't look at them, because i knew the crash was my fault.
When Nick and Chris came over to me, I knew both of them had died on impact.
The police asked me questions and I refused to answer. I refused to talk to Chris or Nick about it. I didn't want them to look at me how I looked at myself. The guilt ate me alive. It was all I could think about. The fact if I had just shut up and stopped being so angry that my parents would still be alive.
Nick and Chris would still have parents.
I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't know what to say. So I didn't talk at all. Chris and Nick fought and fought and fought over what to do with me. I would be in bed and I could hear them fighting through the walls. I felt like I had turned my brothers against each other.
My heart clenched.
I didn’t want to go back to Somerville because I knew that everyone would stare. More than they do at heights. I didn’t want to be know as the triplet brother that doesn’t talk. I didn’t want to stand next to my brothers and let everyone know that I was different. So I didn’t go back.
They finally decided to put me into therapy after a month of me not speaking. A part of me didn't want to speak, the other part didn't know if I could. What I'd say. So I thought it would be better to not say anything at all.
When I refused to go into therapy they started sending Cassie over, she's an at-home therapist. We meet every Monday. I didn't want you to come over because I didn't want you to see her. I didn't know what you'd think. I didn't want you to think I was as fucked up as I am. I still don't.
I understand when you say that I remind you of your mom, because you remind me of my own. She was kind, you are kind. She is forgiving, you are forgiving. She didn't judge, you don't judge.
I should have told you this earlier, but I was scared. I'm still scared. I don't know how beneficial it is for you to be friends with someone who doesn't speak to you. I'm not sure the benefits are that high, but you keep coming around. My mom would have done the same thing.
I'm sorry i'm quiet. I'm sorry i'm distant. I'm sorry i'm confusing. I don't know how not to be any of those things. You deserve friends who aren't any of those things. I freaked out and I shouldn't have.
I’m really good at not feeling emotions. I’ve mastered turning them off and on whenever I want. And you’re really the only person who has made me feel them these past few weeks and it scared me. I hide from my emotions so I hid from you.
I'm sorry If I scared you. You're really the only person who I like being around.
I dropped the paper and looked up at him. I don't know when the tears started to fall, but they fell and fell. He sighed as he looked at me. I dropped the paper before pulling him into me.
"You're the only person I like being around too" I cried into him. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me as he hugged me back.
“Thank you for being my friend and thank you for sharing this with me” I breathed into him. He didn’t respond he just continued to hug me.
I pulled back.
“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through” I whispered. He looked down and shrugged. “I don’t want you to have to hide your emotions in front of me” I shook my head. He looked up at me.
“Please, don’t” I whispered shaking my head. He just blinked at me and then nodded softly. I smiled before sighing and leaning my head against his shoulder.
“I think not talking to you has been the worst 24 hours of my life” I whispered. He peered down at me before he leaned his head against mine and let out a breath, almost to agree with me.
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brailsthesmolgurl · 3 days
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WHY HER?
Another angst/fluffy oneshot required by one of you. I swear, the ones who are following me, most of you have a thing for angst :0 But it is okay my babies, as I am nothing different from you guys :) this will be a bit shorter than my usual oneshot lengths but hope it is just as enjoyable for you guys :)))
Warnings: Angst but don't worry my lovelies, there shall be comfort for this round. Reader is not main character in game.
Please note all artworks are credited to the artist @chimmyming on Twitter, please do go and support the artist! Click onto the pictures and there shall be a link on it that brings you straight to their artwork!
Rafayel
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You sat at the beach, looking far out into the ocean as you waited for Rafayel. He had agreed to meet you today for a nice evening walk but it was VERY UNLIKE HIM to be late for any meetings with you. Furthermore, you had only came back from your business trip recently, and the last thing you had expected was for your lover to be late to this long-awaited meet up.
Taking out your phone, you decided to give your boyfriend a call. "Hello, Rafayel?" You spoke once the call was picked up. "Where are you mister?"
"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the call caught you off guard. It was the voice you had heard Rafayel mentioned through his video calls with you for a couple of times. "Rafayel will be there in a bit." You heard a slither of your boyfriend's voice echoing in the background, shouting out something and the girl repeated his message. "He told you to---"
You hung up the call. Not even bothering for an apology nor an answer. Just hearing her voice made your blood boil. It does not help either when Rafayel would mention about her during your business trip. He would say, "Oh she helped me with the drawings today, as she said purple would fit better than orange." or "We went and got some paint today by the shop that was at the corner of the Bloom Street. She asked me to buy the conch shells too."
The recollection of him telling you all about their activities brought tears to your eyes, pulling your knees up to your chest and you stopped fighting the tears coming out of your eyes. When did she took your place? Helping him with his artworks? Accompanying him to buy painting materials and buying seashells together? That is, and has always been the activity reserved for you. But maybe, your absence made him feel empty inside.
Standing up, you dusted the sand off of your pants and decided to head home. Your phone had rung for a couple of times but it had fallen on deaf ears. Unlocking your phone and rejecting the call, you decided to block him. What happen to Lemurians only having one mate for the rest of their life? A question raised in your head, but it goes unanswered.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
Loud music filled the entirety of the darkness of the bar. Your hand held onto a cocktail glass, swivelling the Long Island Iced Tea in it. But here is the catch, none of the contents in the glass contained anything that has to do with its name. But it is surely going to get you wasted in no time.
You took another hit, feeling the burn go down your throat when you downed the whole glass in one go. The laser lights, light bars below the bar table and holograms of women dancing being the only source of lighting found within the bar, a good way for you to hide away from anyone you know.
You just wanted to drown out your thoughts, but forgetting the point that you had never been the type to handle alcohol well. Hence earning the title of you being the teetotal in every party and event you attend with Rafayel. Speaking of the man, your eyes wandered down to your cocktail glass, the empty contents a direct reflection of your mind right now, empty.
When your mind started to get hazy further, you knew it was the right time to leave. You slowly maneuvered your way through the club till you were nearing the exit. A guy came in front of you to block your exit. "Where are you going, pretty lady? Do you need a ride home?"" His hand reached for your arm and you winced, his hold tight.
"Leave me alone. I am not interested." You pushed him with your hands and the guy barely budged. His tight grip on you still unfaltering. Instead, he started leading you out of the club, and into the alleyway.
"Bad girls don't deserve a good treatment. And seeing how wasted you are, I doubt you could stop me. So just be a good girl and take it." His words made you teared up, hand still coming up to push him with all of your might, sobs started surfacing from your breath.
"Help me!" You shouted out, head aching and eyes widening when you caught sight of the guy undoing his belt. He is planning to rape you isn't he?
"Nobody can hear you don't worry, so save your breath for me when I take you baby girl." He chuckled darkly but a spark caught your eye and the guy immediately got lit up in flames. Bright red colour lighting up the dark alleyway.
"Y/N!" The familiar voice called out to you, your sobs not stopping till someone grabbed you and you pushed with all of your drunken might, traumatised by how you were nearly raped by a stranger. The strong arms circled around your small body to pull you in close and your face hit against a taut chest. "Are you okay?!" And you passed out.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
You woke up, eyes slowly fluttering opened and you winced at the throbbing of your head. Looking down at yourself, you realised your clothes had a change, you were wearing an oversized button up and you gasped, your memory piecing the fact that you almost got raped yesterday night. Thinking you were still entrapped in a stranger's home, you turned your head and you caught sight of your boyfriend fast asleep next to you.
His purple hair sat on his head like a bird’s nest, a vibrant colour against his white pillow and bed sheets. Feeling movement on the bed, you watched when he slowly opened his eyes, lapis-lilac shades caught yours. "Good morning..." He spoke groggily and slowly sat up, the blanket sliding down to reveal his chiselled abs. It was rare for him to not wear clothes to sleep.
"I should go..." You said quickly, eyes avoiding his when you pulled the blanket aside and you realised, you were half naked, the oversized shirt covering your naked upper half and you were only dressed in your underwear underneath the clothing. You probably had sex with him, you thought to yourself as tears came to your eyes again. That was the last thing you wanted to do as you did not want anything to do with him anymore. "This...this mistake... It won't happen again. I'm sorry for being an inconvenience."
"Wait..." Rafayel was shocked at your response, his face contorted in disbelief. "Y/N, wait..." He quickly got out of bed, butt naked and nimbly searched for his pants and putting them on, as he quickly chased after you. You were already putting on your shirt, his button up strewn across the floor. You being in a hurry to leave him made his heart ached. "No, y/n wait." His hand clasped your arms when you were heading towards the door with your phone in hand.
He turned you around and was met with your bare face, red painted across your nose and eyes. "Just leave me alone. I wish you all the best with her." A silent tear fell and you pushed his hand away. But he grabbed your arm again, reluctant to let you leave.
"Nothing happened." Rafayel's tone was calm. "Trust me. Nothing happened between me and her." His hand came up to your face to wipe the tear but you looked away, not wanting him to touch you any further. "She only helped me with this. Come..." Holding onto your arm still, he guided you towards the backyard. A canvas placed in the middle of the yard. "She was helping me to create this for you." He turned the easel to reveal an artwork, featuring you by the beach, on the shore with a mermaid tail. Your tail. The artwork had hints of purple in it and the seashells they had gotten previously.
Amazed at the artwork, you turned towards your lover, eyes still bloodshot. "This explains why you had been cutting our calls short and with her picking up the call yesterday and you being late for our date?" Your hesitant tone was evident.
He pointed to the pile of pot paints on the floor next to the painting. "I was in a hurry to create this piece since you were only out for your business trip for 4 days. I wanted it to be perfect so I took a longer time than usual. I was trying to clean up the mess before I go and find you." He held your other hand in his when you turned to fully face him. "I wanted to show you this yesterday." He sighed and looked down. "I am sorry that I hurt you, you nearly got hurt because of me. But, I will never choose anyone else other than my lifetime mate. I will not choose anyone over you." His eyes looked deeply into yours.
"Rafayel..." Your eyes softened when you looked up at your lover. "Thank you." You took a small pause and smiled warmly. "Thank you for always choosing me." And you hugged him.
✧○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○✧
Xavier
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"Y/N," Your name was called when your boyfriend approaches your desk, handing you some documents for you to upload into the computer. "I will be going out for my mission soon, so I will see you back at home later?" His gentle voice made you smiled and nodded. He leaned down to give you a peck on your cheek when he realised nobody was watching and you watched as he walked off, the blond hair of his forming a halo under the radiant sunlight.
"So you are paired with Xavier again?" You heard a few girls squealed beside you and you just sat at your desk, continue inputting information into your computer, but you cannot help eavesdropping. "How lucky are you to be paired with him. How many times have you been paired with him for combat?"
"Oh, uhm....Almost everytime I think." The brunette replied, her hair tied in a low ponytail. None of the people in the headquarters know of the fact that both of you are actually in a relationship as there was no need for anyone to know about your private lives. And staying undercover just makes things less complicated when it comes to work.
"But, do you think he would make a move on you?" The short haired brunette asked and Xavier's combat partner shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, a sign of not sure but there is a possibility of it happening as well.
"He did kind of brushed my hair out of my face and patted my head yesterday." Her response stopped your from typing any further as you felt your blood drained from your system. The girl-friend however, cheers and squeals for her friend's answer. You stood up, adjusting your outfit before you headed off to the washroom to take a break.
Washing your hands, you stare blankly at the mirror, studying your own reflection. Why would Xavier do this to you? You knew that your combat skills are non-existent, so that's why you kept yourself occupied with the information department, filing in documents for the deepspace hunters. They are more like the hands and feet while your department acts like the brain, collecting and providing information.
Maybe he likes girls with combat skills. Your mind jumped to that conclusion and you were snapped back to reality when the door opened up and you turned off the faucet, stepping past the same girl that was bragging about being close with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend, no doubt is one of the popular males among the whole headquarters but all this while he had never made you worried. But why does her words affect you so greatly?
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
After work had ended, you took your time to walk instead of taking the subway, wanting to give yourself some time to walk after you had spent the whole day sitting in the office. You walked past a grocery store and remembered that you are running low on food at home so you decided to head into the grocery store to pick up some items.
Staring at the snacks isle, you were debating on whether to get popcorn or potato chips, since Xavier would like to munch on them whenever he is bored at home. So without much thought you just get both of it. You paid at the counter and held onto the plastic bags, resuming your walk back home.
Walking the streets during the evening is a sight to catch. The skies displaying orange and yellow, dashes of pink over the linings of the cloud that hung high above. It looks like a light show in the skies, but only that it is a natural phenomenon. Taking out your phone, you took a snapshot of the skies and checked onto the picture. A frown coming upon your face when you know that cameras would never compare to its natural beauty.
You turned a corner and you came across the sight of your boyfriend standing outside of the claw machine store that you would visit with him sometimes. Your eyes lit up, wanting to go up to him but you stopped in your tracks when you saw his combat partner appeared from the stores, her grin tugged from ear to ear, and he face clearly blushing.
Your hands tightened on your grocery bags when you noticed your boyfriend, who has his back facing you looking down at the girl. Oh, how you wished you could eavesdrop on their conversation right now. You would have wanted to know desperately what their conversation is about. A part of you is telling to straight walk up there to claim your man while the other part of you is held back, your heart heavy as you watched the girl's face lit up when she was conversing with your boyfriend.
And that was when you noticed she tip toed to lean up towards your boyfriend. That's it. You had seen enough. You turned away, and stomped the other way. Tears caught you off guard when you decided it is the best for you to step away. You do not want to cause a scene in the middle of the streets.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
"Finally found you." A voice broke the whispers of the wind. You stayed silent when you heard shuffling, someone taking a seat next to you. "Why are you out here, in the cold?"
You refused to face your boyfriend, eyes narrowed, lashes combatting against the cold harsh wind. Another shuffle could be heard again and you felt his hands on your shoulders, a heavy material wrapped over your shoulder. It was cold, but it could be a good excuse to tell if he asked why is your nose and eyes take on a reddish colour. "Can you give me some time alone?"
"Why?" He asked, the puppy eyes he is known for stapled on his face when he tilted his head, trying to get a better look at your face. "Have you been crying?" His question made you turned your head to face him, cheeks still pressed against your knee.
"No." You blatantly lied and avoided his gaze again. "I don't have anything to talk to you about. You can go home first and wait for me at home."
"Are you sure?" His concern made you hid your face further into your knees and you nodded. Your reluctance to meet his eyes already confirmed his suspicion of something happening. So he asked further. "Were you happen to be watching me just now? When I was at the claw machine store?" Your silence gave him a sense of comfort. "So my senses are not wrong. That was you peeking out of the corner just now. And let me guess, you saw me with the hunter didn't you?"
How did he knew? You swear he probably has eyes on the back of his head. That thought sent a shiver down your spine. You adjusted your seating and he sat closer to you. "And...you probably saw how she wanted to kiss me, with her on her tip toes." It was crazy on how accurate he was on this.
He unwrapped your arms around your knees and slowly pulled you into his side, placing his arms around you and letting your head lay on his shoulder. Xavier's scent enveloped you, talcum powder and vanilla. There is no need for him to use any sorts of perfume when he himself is a walking perfume that nobody could remake. That is how he always smelled like and a part of you wondered if she managed to smell it from him as well.
"I would have teased you further, and enjoy the way you would have reacted when you are jealous. But," His hands smoothed over your hair, tucking some strands behind your ear gently. "I pushed her away before she could even come close enough. I even told her about us." You looked up at him, his cerulean orbs now light grey under the I stars. "I don't think it would be a good idea to hide around about our relationship anymore." His other hand came up to rub his chin. "Because I want people to know that you are the only one that I want."
"What about your missions with her? She was bragging about you patting her head and tucking her hair." You asked frantically, thinking he might still end up spending time with her.
"I had contacted the captain about this and requested for a change of partners. This time, it will be a HE and no, he is not GAY." He smiled, finger tucked under your chin to pull your face up to meet his lingering gaze. His soft laughter rolling out of his mouth. “Moreover, I never touched her, not even once, she needs to get her head checked out. Whenever she falls during combat, I just stood aside and watch.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cold checks, in an attempt to warm them with his lips. “After we reveal our relationship in the office, you don't have to worry anymore, because no matter what happens, I will protect you to the ends of this world."
✧○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○✧
Zayne
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<I will be home late tonight. I have to cover two emergency shifts. I will call you at 10P.M. before you head off to bed. I have a gap in between.>
Your phone beeped when you were nearly done at work. You read the message, knowing that he has to work late again for tonight, same as yesterday, the day before, and practically 4 days before. But, you cannot blame him for being one of best cardiac surgeons in Linkon City. It should be something you are proud of.
But it does not help when you went to pay him a short visit two days ago, his door does not open even after you had knocked twice on the wooden door. His usual patient, the deepspace hunter, came out of his room, face as red as a tomato. Your eyes followed her as she walked down the hallway and you made your step into your lover's room.
Zayne was near the bed, readjusting his shirt and coat. He did not realise you had walked in until you cleared your throat. "You are here." He said calmly, turning over to face you, his tie a little bit crooked. "I thought you were going to wait for me downstairs."
The deepspace hunter's red face, and him readjusting his shirt, anyone with two sense of mind could easily tell what had just went on in the room. "I just wanted to stop by your office as well." You replied, taking a seat on the couch in his office. "So, what did you do with the girl?"
"You mean the deepspace hunter?" He questioned, taking long strides to close the door. He did not seemed like he was anxious nor scared of your question. Probably a mask to his own guilt, you thought to yourself.
"Yeah, your childhood best friend." You clicked your tongue, arms crossed over your chest. "She seemed flustered when she left your office just now."
"I just conducted a normal check up on her, as usual." He said, dismissing your question easily. He reached his hand out to you, beckoning you to take his hand. "Let's go and get dinner together."
⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙
Your hesitation of his loyalty to you was one of the things that kept on bugging your mind, other than your work of course. You looked at the amount of work you have on your desk and started arranging it. Doing whatever you can now to keep your mind busy. What does that deepspace hunter has that you do not have?
A fleeting childhood with Zayne maybe? There have been theories that men would fall for their childhood friends due to the familiarity they have and how comfortable they could get with their childhood buddies. But this theory sucks. You tell yourself and stacked the files neatly and placed them at the shelves behind you.
You are just as capable as Zayne, but just in a different field. You are known to be one of the best lawyers in Linkon City. A highly respected one in fact. When news of you and Zayne went out, people claimed it was meant to be because both of you are aces within your own field and that you are both compatible to one another.
But what if he wanted someone more normal? Someone who would not constantly be under the watchful eye of the common public? The voice came about again. Almost every month, both of you would have your own array of social meets, and both of you making time to acquaint one another to those social events. Every single move, every single action you and Zayne do, it would be booming news. Maybe he is tired of us constantly being under the spotlight.
Mighty or not, you could be the best within your field, but you could also have equally damaging insecurities. This is the exact moment that you start crushing your own walls, walls of confidence that you had taken years to build up, to earn for respect from others. And perhaps, to earn Zayne's love.
<Okay.> You texted back and tossed your phone into your bag. Grabbing your car keys on your way out of your office. You locked your room on the way out and you were shocked to see some of your interns are still working in their cubicles. "Guys, I think you should all take a rest. How about we head to the coffee shop downstairs to have a drink hmm?"
Your interns' eyes lit up at your offer and they quickly gathered their stuffs before following you out of the office like a bunch of ducklings. On the elevator ride, you asked them of their work progresses and whether they needed any additional help with their current tasks. Your interns however, were more than surprised that you are willing to communicate with them.
Their first take on your image is that you are professional and strict. A woman of high standards and it was a common theme for people to link your working attitude to you being arrogant and ignorant. You had never once fell back on any datelines and your clients always leave your room satisfied, regardless of the outcome of the court case. You are on a whole other league as compared to anyone else within your department.
All of you decided to choose the seat outside because of the cooling night wind. It serves to refresh everyone, to step out of the tight cubicles for a bit and having to stretch comfortably. You sat next to two of the female interns, with them asking you about brands that you could recommend them to buy formal outfits. It was nice to see how fast the interns had opened up to you once they found out that you are not as scary as what was portrayed by others.
Your eyes caught sight of a black car pulling up just a few shops down the street. Not many people within the city owns that car, especially the black version. And one of those 'lucky few' happens to be your boyfriend as well. Your eyes slightly widened when you noticed the familiar figure coming out of the car.
His hair the colour of his full outfit, with a lanky but muscular build. The man standing next to the limited edition car is no doubt your boyfriend, Zayne. The sounds of your interns talking around you had turned into a constant white noise. Your eyes watched carefully, thank goodness the spot he had parked at was right below a street lamp.
The passenger side of the door opened, and out came the same girl. The one that you had suspicions about. At that exact moment, you felt your walls started breaking. Your eyes continued watching, your heart strapped in the back seat, limbs unable to move when you sat there in shock. The girl went up and gave Zayne a hug, you can tell that it was a tight hug, based on the way she literally planted her face into Zayne's torso. The sight of it made your heart crumbled and you stood up, your chair creaking against the cement pathway. Your interns stopped abruptly and turned to look at you in sync.
Clearing your throat, you held back tears as you spoke. "I remembered I have something to tend to, I have to get going." You bid them goodnight and you turned immediately, car keys dug out of your bag and you rushed to get into your car before you drove off quickly.
⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙
The clock at your bedside table flashed 9.55pm. It was a good idea to head off to bed earlier than usual. Although Zayne said that he would call you at 10pm, you had made your decision not to pick up. Telling him that you were too exhausted and fell asleep sounded like a viable excuse.
You closed your eyes and lulled yourself to sleep, used to the other side of you bed being empty for the past few nights. After a while, you heard your room door opened, the slither of light from the living room seeping in.
Zayne was home early. You assumed he would have went back to the hospital after dropping her off. Your back was facing him so he would not be able to tell that you were upset. But your plan was short lived when his shadow loomed over you.
"Y/N." His voice soft, and you heard a thud, the warmth of a hand on your face. "My love." He called for you again, running his big palms across your cheeks, him noticing that there were some tear streaks. "Are you awake?"
Your eyes then opened, and you are face-to-face with your handsome boyfriend, his hazel green orbs fixated on your face. "I thought you were at work." You slowly sat up, rubbing your eyes and feigning a yawn, as if you had just woken up. Your heart felt heavy, and before you could stop yourself, your mouth blurted out. "Am I not good enough?"
Zayne was clearly taken aback, turning on the switch to the lamp on your nightstand, the soft glow of the light bouncing off of your silhouette, your white satin night dress a sheen of orange. "Why would you think so?" His hand comes up, touching your arm but you flinched away. "Y/N, what's going on?"
"You know what, it's nothing." Your hands came up to hide your face from him, desperately trying to hold back your tears. Zayne has never seen you cry many times, only when you were drunk and watching some sad rom-coms or when work gets too stressful and you were pushed too hard. Yes, a strong woman like you have her own small, vulnerable moments too. And Zayne, acknowledges all of it. To him, he never treats your crying moments as to be small matters. When you cry, it is a natural human emotion yes, but it is not normal within your books, for you to cry over something miniscule.
"Y/n, you are sad. And being sad is---" He stopped himself before he continued spitting out medical facts. Knowing at this moment if he were to do that, he would not be doing her a favour in consoling her. "You had always been strong in my eyes. So, what is going on through your head? Do you want to tell me about it?"
"Is the deepspace hunter better than me?" You sniffled, face still covered, your voice slightly muffled. "I saw you...today...with her...near my office...you hugged her." You choked out your words, accompanied with tears and snot. This will mark one of the first times Zayne would witness you cry like an adult baby. But you could care less as you anticipate for the heart break.
"No." He replied. "I did not hug her back. She hugged me and I pulled away after 2 seconds. She was thanking me for saving her life. And she will no longer need to come for checkups again in the future." He clarified and sat on the bed beside her and he slowly peeled her hands away from her face. "I fetched her back, because she had had her surgery a day ago, and she could not get a cab on time during her discharge timing. So I offered a ride for her, and thought maybe I could surprise you at your office. But your interns told me you left in a hurry so I came home."
"What about your surgery that was scheduled for tonight?" You asked.
"I cancelled them and rescheduled them to tomorrow. I just wanted to come home and spend time with you." He placed a kiss onto your forehead, calming your sobs. "You don't look happy for the past few days. Perhaps you want to enlighten me on anything else I had done that could have made you so upset?"
"What about that day, when she left your office, did you guys do something? She looked embarassed, and when I came in, you were adjusting your clothings. And the way you just dismissed me, it hurts me." Your eyes looked exhausted to him, with you patiently waiting for him to explain the situation to you.
Zayne took a few seconds to recall. "I was doing last minute checkups for her, before her surgery. But when she tried to stand, she nearly fell and she grabbed onto my tie for support but still ended up on the floor, which explains why I had to readjust my clothing. She was probably embarrassed at the situation, which explains the red face." He added on. "Her condition got worse after our dinner, that was why I had to rush back to do the surgery immediately."
His explanation gave you nothing but a rush of relief through your heart. "I see." You said, wiping your tears and Zayne took the opportunity to pull you into his arms, seated on his lap and your chest against his. "I am sorry for being so ridiculous."
"I don't see any issues with that. You care for me, that is why you feel this way. And with you crying over this, it means it matters a lot to you." He hugged you and you relaxed in his arms. "I don't blame you for getting upset over this as it is equally my fault for making you doubt my loyalty. But I treat that deepspace hunter just like how I would treat every other patient of mine." He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, his lips soft and tender. "Just know that even when I am very busy, I will always make time for you."
✧○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○✧
I KNOW I LIED AGAIN, MY MIND JUST STARTED BEING IN OVERDRIVE BECAUSE CREATIVITY WAS FLOWING SO I WROTE IT LONGER AND LONGER AND ENDED UP WITH THIS. I AM SORRY!
But hope this read is just as good as the others!
Lots of Love! <3
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hysteria-things · 11 hours
Note
SUB NATHAN DOE PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏
also based off of this
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DESPERATE
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: sub!nate x sls!reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you were in L.A. with your brothers all week. when coming back to boston, your boyfriend can’t seem to control himself.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, swearing, dry humping, p in v, overstimulation, small good boy kink, a little cockwarming
ASSUME YOU’RE ON THE PILL!
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 698
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: SURPRISE NATE NATION HERE’S A FIC😁
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nate hates when you go to L.A. with your brothers. the main reason is because you're his girlfriend and he loves you, but what you don't know is that he does something that you don't even know about; despite dating for almost a year now.
he never touches himself when you're gone. no matter how desperate he is. poor boy will get hard if you post on instagram or if he scrolls through your saved chats on snapchat, but because you're not there to take care of it, he has to deal with the pain.
if he's in severe need, his hips will have a mind of their own and start moving to thrust against the pillow that sits between his legs. the fabric will rub at just the right spot through his pajama pants, squeezing tight around the pillow to rut into it harder.
closing his eyes tight, he'll bite on the pillow to muffle his pathetic sounds. it'll be embarrassing if his family could hear what he's like behind closed doors. aw, his pants will be ruined by the end of the night.
or how about that one time when just the thought of you would have his dick twitching. he'd be standing there, eyes closed, and imagining the dirty things he wants to do to you. underwear getting soaked from how much he cums in them by the thought of you.
nate knows that you'll find this behavior pitiful, hence why this is his dirty little secret.
although, he couldn't be happier right now. you, nick, matt, and chris got back to boston this morning, and of course, nate's the first one you wanted to see.
"i missed you," he says, smiling at how stunning you are when he pulls you into a hug.
"i can tell," you smirk, referring to the hard-on that's poking your thigh.
the touch of each other's skin feels soothing, and the way he thrusts softly into your cunt has you moaning lowly. nothing can beat 'i miss you' sex.
you already came once, but he’s fucking you through that high.
that’s when his movements quicken so suddenly, causing your eyebrows to furrow and for your nails to dig crescents in his shoulders.
“ah— nate, wait.” you gasp. it’s not like you guys never do it rough, but in this case, you want it to be something sensual rather than intense.
his head buries more into your neck, panting at the rhythm he’s going. “i love you so much.” he whispers into your ear.
“i-i love you too.” you groan, body rocking at the animalistic pace he’s going. it’s not like it hurts, but it was so out of nowhere that, to be honest, you’re starting to worry. “n-nate, please—”
“i don’t touch myself when you’re gone, you know that?” he whimpers, tears welling up in his eyes. “i missed you so fucking much.”
“s-slow down,” you whine, legs shaking when your g-spot gets hit.
he sobs quietly, interlocking his hands with yours. “i love this pussy so much! i-i was made for you. oh my god, i need to cum in you so bad. p-please let me—”
“baby, hey.” you say softly, cupping his cheeks to bring his head up. “look at me.”
finally, he slows before fully stopping. his eyes pool with tears.
you take your thumbs and wipe them away, pouting sympathetically. “i’m right here. you have to relax, okay? i’m not going anywhere.”
he takes a few deep breaths to calm down. he nods, moving his hips again but this time calmer.
biting your shoulder, your nails gently graze down his back. he makes eye contact with you the whole time, loving how you feel wrapped around him. arching slightly, you moan.
“i’m close.” he mewls, the tip deep into your clenching hole.
“be a good boy and cum for me.” you coo, nate shivering at the pet name and immediately releasing deep inside you. he smiles contently, collapsing on top of you to cuddle. his cock stays buried, wanting to keep his cum in where it belongs.
toying with his hair, his eyes flutter closed. now that you’re here with him, everything just feels right.
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @sturniolotriplettoplover @stars4matt @freshsturns @loverrsposts @sturnlcvr @elliesturniolo1 @tpvmz @user283926392 @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @sturniologirl813 @leahrab @chrissturniolosslut @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @luv4kozume @ivyyyyyysposts @mirxcle1 @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @catalina-island @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @pinkfarts @slut4mattsturn @thesturniolos @vickeyzloserz @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @bellasfavbisexual @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @crazychrisl0v3r @maggieflms @strtuniolo @mutualsafe @riasturns @sturniolowhore
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squishytenya · 3 days
Note
Hey Do you remeber your Tenya and Aizawa ask, with y/n Crying? What about some of the other casts like Katsuki or Ejiro?
if you dont mind please and thank you
They Make You Cry Headcanons
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I lowkey had to search my own blog for this but I found it! thanks for the request <3
Pairings - Bakugou x gn!reader, Kirishima x gn!reader + Kaminari x gn!reader
Warnings - arguments, cursing, crying
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Katsuki Bakugou
▹part of being in a relationship with Katsuki is dealing with his harsh personality. Even if he does calm down the older he gets, it's still probably not to the same extent of a normal human being.
▹he probably would be completely speechless the moment you started crying after an argument - straight up would not know how to respond to that.
▹his eyes would go wide and he would go to take a step towards you and then bring himself back, holding his arm to himself.
▹"hey... don't do that"
▹for all his faults Katsuki is, deep inside, a good person and he knows this is the kind of shit you lose relationships from and he really really doesn't want to lose you.
▹ but he does know he can be a bit much and he probably takes a while to come down from whatever he's feeling so he just kinda leaves for a few minutes
▹ he comes back with a cup of tea and perches gently on the bed next to you, avoiding eye contact
▹he would do his best to spit out an apology, but it's not something that would come naturally to him. Seeing your face crumple like it did is still replaying in his mind and he knows he has to fix this somehow - so he does his best to explain himself
▹eventually he would just stop rambling and take your hand in his, squeezing it gently.
▹"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you"
▹ he'd just sit by you, hand in his until you were ready to talk to him and talk over what had led to the argument in the first place and he really does take your words to heart about what upset you
▹he'd try to cut down on raising his voice and try to cut out teasing nicknames entirely, unless he knew you were okay with them already
▹a sweet guy really
Eijirou Kirishima
▹I cannot see Kiri upsetting you on purpose, even during an argument he isn't the type to yell or get super angry with you
▹him making you cry is most likely a complete accident on his part, or even him accidentally playing into an insecurity you have without properly thinking about it
▹when your relationship first started out, I think he probably didn't understand you might not be comfortable with the things he's comfortable with, especially during social situations
▹ also probably doesn't understand others might read his kindness as flirting, so when you two are invited to a hero party to socialise and he pretty much ignored you the whole night, he had no idea why you began tearing up on the way home
▹obviously, he's worried about why you're crying and what he did! and how he can fix it is at the forefront of his mind almost immediately after noticing
▹and when you explain it to him, he pretty much crumbles straight away - he is in disbelief that he made you feel that way
▹he falls over himself explaining that he didn't mean to make you feel that way, he was just overwhelmed by the pressure of hero society and got caught up
▹Kiri is very good at admitting when he is wrong, and puts a lot of effort into having healthy communication in his relationships - platonic or otherwise
▹pulls over the car literally just so he can hold both of your hands in his and make eye contact as he explains his actions, specifically so you understand he's being genuine
▹"I'd never do that to you on purpose, you're the most important person to me"
▹after your sniffles have subsided, he pulls you into a hug and promises never to do something like that again - and you bet he keeps his promise!!!
▹takes you to get food too, just as an extra apology and you sit in the car park eating ice cream together - he makes sure you're the center of his attention the entire time <3
Denki Kaminari
▹oh he's so stupid. he's so lovely, but so, so stupid.
▹honestly he probably says something insanely embarrassing in front of your friends and pays no attention to how that might make you feel, especially if you're close to these people
▹doesn't even notice when the room goes completely silent and nobody is talking but him, it takes one of his friends clearing their throat for him to notice your eyes filling with tears
▹in his defense, he does try to explain himself straight away and takes you into another room to have the conversation (at the very least) but it takes a little bit more explaining to him why his actions would upset you
▹doesn't really get it at first but you explaining, and your face as you cry, makes his heart hurt and he tries to rectify his actions as soon as he can
▹the first thing he thinks to do in that moment is bundle you up in his arms and rock the both of you back and forth to calm you down, which works a little more than you'd like to admit
▹runs his hands over your back, up and down, until your breathing evens out - does not give a shit about anyone outside of you two in that moment
▹once you've stopped crying, full on apology - hands and knees!
▹he seems genuinely heartbroken to have embarrassed you and takes full responsibility for what he did
▹ kicks everyone else out of the house and spends the rest of the evening making it up to you and reminding you of how important you are to him and just how sorry he is
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I hope these were good! I haven't written in ages so this'll be the first comeback headcanons, hope you guys enjoyed it <3
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golden1u5t · 11 hours
Note
omg congrats pookie!! can i request rose prompt 24 with spencer and fem!reader? :)
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ꨄ pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
ꨄ genre: smut
ꨄ prompt: rose, 24: “Shh, just look at me, baby.”
ꨄ summary: you’re taking spencer’s virginity and everything is just so much for him that he starts crying.
ꨄ a/n: thank you so much! you didn’t specify if you wanted it dom or sub spencer so i made it sub spencer and you didn’t have a plot line to go with it so i made one, just make sure next time you add those things if you decide to request again! but again, thank you so much!
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spencer’s hand was wrapped around your wrist, not too tight as to where it would stop your from being able to pump your hand on his cock but also not too loose. tears streamed down his flushed cheeks as he whimpered and whined out your name.
it was his first time ever doing something like this with someone else and to him it felt better than when he did it alone, your hand felt better than his even though you were doing the same thing he would do. still, he hadn't felt so much pleasure in his life and it was so overwhelming to him, but in a good way.
he liked the way the knot in his gut got tighter each time your hand dragged from the base of his cock to the tip, he liked the way his heads pinned when you swiped your thumb over his sensitive tip, he liked the way he couldn't stop the tears from falling because of how good he felt.
you stared down at him with lustful eyes, your lips parted as you took in the sight of him so pathetic under you. you thought he looked so pretty like this, it was probably your new look on him.
“i can’t- please, it feels so good! please, i wanna cum- wanna make a mess for you, please!” his words were slurred and broken apart by moans. you’d never heard him talk like that before, you didn’t even think the word ‘cum’ was in his vocabulary.
you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face, it prided you knowing that you could be the one to bring out this side of him when no one else can. really, he is still whiny and pathetic outside of the bedroom but this was a different kind of whiny and pathetic, a side that only you got to see.
watching him was making you uncomfortably wet, you could feel your arousal dampening your panties. you shifted your weight onto your knees and leaned over his body to press your lips against his. he tried to kiss you back the best he could but he couldn’t keep up with you, he whined against your lips before you pulled away.
“shh, just look at me, baby.” you placed your free hand on his cheek and gently wiped away his tears. it took him a moment but he eventually peeled his eyes open to look at you. “cum for me, spence. make a mess for me, baby.”
you didn’t have to tell him twice. spencer’s hips jerked up as he started to fuck your fist, his hand instinctively tightening around your wrist and his eyes shut again. you swiped your thumb over the tip of his cock once more before his body stilled and ropes of cum spilled down his cock and your hand.
you slowed your hand down and gave him a few lazy strokes before letting go of him completely.
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230 notes · View notes
costkappen · 3 days
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Best boy《CLxReader》
Tags....☆smut,blow job, sub!Charles, Dom!reader, no use of y/n,fluff,charles is insecure,reassuring
Warnings....☆smut!mdni, a bit of sad!Charles but nothing too sad or angsty
Word count....☆1795
A bit of a warning, this is my first time writing so it not the best,also please correct me if you find any spelling mistakes as I didn't proof read this,anyways enjoy I hope I did good!
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He looked so pretty high up on the podium, his smiling face half covered by the shining Australian sun making his pretty blue eyes shine like I've never seen before.
After the podium celebrations I went after him and pulled him in the tightest hug ever
"Congratulations Charles! P2 and double ferrari podium, I'm so proud of you" his face lit up at my praise, something I've picked up since I first met him, he gloats over the littlest praise aimed towards him, even if it wasn't said to him directly, he has a habit of kicking himself down way more that necessary when the smallest thing goes wrong, even if it wasn't his fault he always finds a way to beat himself up over it, so over the years I've made a mental note to sower him with praises as much as I can. "Thank you chéri, I'm also really happy with the team today, let's go to my drivers room I'll take a quick shower and then we'll go back to the hotel"
The drive to the hotel was fairly silent, I didn't say anything to him but I saw how his lips twitched and how his grip on the steering wheel was so tight the tips of his fingers turned white. Yes he was happy about his podium, but there was something he was not telling me so I made it my personal mission to find out what was bothering him so much on a day that was supposed to make him feel like he was on cloud 9.
Once we arrived to the hotel the first thing I did was change into something more comfortable and then I went looking for him, "Hey baby" I said as I sat down on his lap on the couch "How are you feeling? You must be so happy, we have to celebrate with Carlos and Rebecca tonight you boys did such a good job"
The praise made him smile, still he didn't look like his usual self "Yeah I'm really happy Chéri, I think the team needed this win, I can't wait to celebrate with you all" then he gives me a quick kiss on the lips and looks at me without saying anything else
" Alright then if you're so happy then why are you acting like that?" "Acting like what?" He says with a nervous giggle as to make me think I'm just over thinking it. "Like you're about to cry Charlie, don't lie to me I know you too well." He then brings his hand to gently stroke my cheek, as if I was the one that needed comforting right now, "I really can't hide anything from you Chéri?" He let's out a sigh,his whole body deflating "I'm happy for Carlos, I really am, it's just that I can't stop thinking how it should've been me on the first step, not because I don't think that Carlos deserves it but because I've got the whole ferrari team and the tifosi rooting for me, and everytime I get second place instead of winning I feel like I'm letting down everyone, especially you" well I surely wasn't expecting that, yes I knew he had some troubles in believing himself, but I didn't know just how little he thought of himself, "Charlie I can promise you're not letting anyone down,and especially not me! Do you not know how proud I am of you? The redbull is been a monster of a car and so far you've been the only one to get as close to it as second place, everyone at the motorhome can tell you that, everyone is so proud of you even when you don't win we know that you could do so much more if we had a better car and if redbull didn't have a rocketship instead of a car,no one is upset with you Charlie" his lips were quivering and his pretty blue eyes were shiny and looked like they were ready to burst with tears, but I couldn't let my pretty boy cry on a day like this, not when he was supposed to be celebrating and happy with his amazing results, "Alright Charlie how about I show you just how much i am proud of you?"
I take his hand making him stand up from the couch "Where are we going Chéri?" He asks confused as ever "to the bed baby, I'll show you what good boys like you get when they've been so good" and as I make him get on the bed I get a good look at his flushed face, cheeks red and a little shy smile,
"I'll start slow okay?" He nods eagerly his head and I chuckle at his shyness, I start by prepping kisses all over his handsome face and I stop at his lips to give him a more passionate kiss occasionally sliding my tongue on his bottom lip, stroking his arms with my hand I could feel goosebumps forming, as I made my way to his neck I made sure that my kissed lingered a bit longer as to leave pink patches all over his neck, light enough to show but not too harsh so they would be gone the next day, as much as I wanted to leave purple marks all over him I knew pr would kill him if he showed up in public covered in hickeys, so just this once I'll refrain myself.
I could feel him shiver under me as I got to unbuttoning his shirt and I kissed all over his chest "Chéri please..don't tease me like this" he pleaded looking at me with his puppy eyes "What do you want me to do Charlie? I'll do anything you want as long as you ask me nicely " I was being a bit mean to him but I knew that he loved it when I took charge and teased him, "Please just touch me..anywhere I just want to feel your touch" his words make me melt, and how could I say no to him when he was begging so prettily "What a good boy you are Charles, asking me so nicely, don't worry I'll make you feel so good" He shivers as my hand gets lower, working on his pants to get them off, I slide them down along with his underwear as he raises his hips to help me get his pant off of him, I look back up staring at his pretty leaking dick, he wasn't the biggest but he still had the prettiest dick I've ever seen, clean and neatly groomed, I started tracing the veins that run across his shaft, that pulled a whimper out of him so I started using my tongue savoring his flavor on my tastbuds as I moved to his tip, clear beads of precum already leaking out "your dick is so pretty cha, so sensitive for me.." I look up at him smiling and circling my tongue around his tip "p-pleas chérie..take me in your mouth no more teasing" his pleas and the way he looked at me while he was making me go crazy, he just looked so good, still maintaining eye contact I took him as deep down my throat as I could go, seeing his face contorted from the pleasure gave me more confidence so I relaxed my throat and stopped when my nose hit his lower stomach, he tasted heavenly and I could hear his whimpers and soft moans, I bobbed my head up and down using my hand to stoke him at his base where I could not reach with my mouth, and he looked completely gone, eyes rolling back, hands gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white and he let out the prettiest moans, but his breath was staring to hiccup and he started squirming against the sheet so I knew he was getting close "what is it cha? Getting close my sweet boy?" I cooed at him getting my mouth back on him as soon as I stopped talking "mhh- Chéri please don't stop i-" He gasped and as I looked at him I saw his eyes roll back, he was completely blissed out "what is it pretty boy, Can't talk anymore? Am I making you feel so good your brain can't form words?" His breath hitched and he let out a shaky moan, this time I decided to not make him beg me to let him cut, he had been so good and he deserved it, so I started focusing on his tip, circling it with my tongue and sucking it harshly while my hand stroked him up and down as the other held him at his base,I was so focused on getting him to his sweet and deserved release I almost didn't hear him warning me that he was about to cum, "look at me Charlie,I want to see your pretty face as you cum down my throat like a good boy,just like that cha let it go for me" my words pushed him off the edge and he gripped my hair slightly pushing my head down on him, I got the hint so I took him as deep as a could and he heal me there, his loud moans filled the room, at this point I knew that whoever was staying in the room next to us hear him but I couldn't care less, I just wanted him to feel good, as i looked at his fucked out expression I felt his sweet cum filling my mouth, his mouth hanged low as he let out one final loud moan and fell back on the pillows, I slowly pulled him out of my mouth, took his face in my hands and made him look at me as I swallowed his cum, and he smashed his mouth on mine, sliding his tongue inside my mouth passionately kissing me, a quiet thank you.
"Are you feeling better now Charlie?" I looked down at him as he was laying on my chest trying to gain his breath back "yes- yes thank you chéri I'm feeling much better chéri thank you" He smiled and kissed my neck and nuzzled his face as I covered us up with the covers "well then I'm confident that you learned your lesson and will start to believe in yourself more yes?" I say as I start stroking his hair
"Well I don't know chéri, if that's what happens when I doubt myself I might just start doing it more" He laughs and hides his face in the crook of my neck, I gently smack the back of his head but I also laugh at his comment "I love you charles, you know that right?" "I know chéri, but I love you more."
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localemofreak · 2 days
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The One That Got Away.
(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)
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Based on the song:
The One That Got Away - Katy Perry
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Story: you and Eddie were basically high school sweethearts, you were just completely in love with each other- seeming like you were never apart. But one day- you had to move away for college, and not wanting to deal with the stress of long distance, you broke it off with Eddie. More than a couple of years pass and you are now in your late 20’s returning back home for the first time since moving away- you couldn’t seem to forget about what you had with Eddie, but he seemingly moved on.. or did he truly??-
‼️Warning‼️: use of y/n, slight angst, reader moves away, reader and Eddie both get heartbroken, crying, huge time jump, mention of older!eddie, reader gets hurt even more, slight friendly affection, ending is kinda good if you think it is, etc. (please tell me if I forgot anything!)
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The year was 1986- you and Eddie had been dating since you were in junior year (and Eddie’s first retake of senior year) , and you guys were probably the cutest couple in all of Hawkins.
You were just obsessed with each other, spending every second of the day together, the love you had for each other just seeming to never go away.
The year you both graduated, you had planned spending that entire summer with Eddie- just having as much fun you two could have in this small town.
It seemed like it was a continuing cycle- Eddie would come pick you up from your house in his van, he would bring you on a date somewhere around town, you two would then end up making out in his van after (sometimes you two would hook up in the back, but it really depended on the time), then you would go to his trailer and chill around with him in his room until it was time for you to head back home.
You guys just seemed to have everything perfect, there was no issues at all- and Eddie was head over heels in love with you.
He genuinely thought you would be the one he would spend the rest of his life with and he would always tell you that..
That’s why you were so afraid to tell him that you were heading to California for college, but you knew sooner or later he would find out.
And then that dreaded day came..
Eddie was excited to spend the last few days of the summer with you- he had a whole day planned for you and him, but the smile he had on his face as he pulled up instantly turned into a look of confusion as he noticed you bringing boxes out to a small moving truck.
Eddie noticed how you noticed his van had pulled up in front of your house, causing you to quickly move a box onto the truck before you started to try and quickly make your way back inside, obviously avoiding Eddie.
“Y/n??- what.. what’s all this?..” Eddie called out as he made his way out of his van, the confused look still on his face.
You just froze in front of your front door, your back facing him to hide your tear stained face.
You just stayed quiet, hoping that he would just somehow disappear at that moment, but you knew he wouldn’t- and you knew you couldn’t have just left without him knowing, he had to know.
“I’m leaving..” you mumbled with your head down, Eddie couldn’t even hear what you said as he made his way towards you.
“Wait what?- y/n look at me please..” He said, still giving a confused look as he moved his hand to rest on your shoulder, trying to force you to turn and look at him.
You just quickly pushed his hand off your shoulder and shook your head, letting out small sniffles as you finally turned to face him with your tear stained face.
“I’m leaving Eddie.” You said, your tone slightly sharp which caused Eddie to furrow his eyebrows slightly, just still so confused about what was happening.
“W- okay wait, what do you mean you’re leaving??..” he said, looking down at you as he tried to bring one of his hands up to wipe the tears off your cheek.
Your hand just instantly came up to stop his, pushing it back towards his chest pretty harshly which caused him to look at you with a slight shocked look on his face.
“I told you a while ago I was planning on going to college Eddie.. in California- I’m leaving today.” You muttered through silent tears, shaking your head as you started making your way back inside your house.
Eddie’s brown eyes just widened as he quickly followed after you inside.
“Wait you never told me this-! I thought you were gonna stay here with me.. baby- wait please-!” He said, obviously panicking a little as he quickly stopped you as you got to the stairs, his hands moving to grab yours as he turned you to face him.
“Eddie please- I get that you want to just live your life carefree but I need to worry about my future okay??” You said through sniffles, pulling your hands away from his as you quickly started making your way upstairs to grab more boxes from your room.
“But what about OUR future y/n?!- the future that we promised ourselves?!” He called out, honestly totally freaking out over the fact you were moving away as he quickly followed you into your room.
As you grabbed a box, you noticed how he had basically blocked the doorway with his body, refusing to let you continue trying to run off while he talked to you.
“There is no future between us Eddie-!! Okay?? How can there be a future between us when I’m fucking halfway across the country?!!” You screamed at him, honestly not giving a shit if your parents could hear you from downstairs.
Eddie just looked at you with wide eyes in shock, you had never screamed at him before- he just stared at your red, tear stained face as he took a moment to comprehend what you just said.
“Wh-what… what do you mean by that baby?.. come on, you don’t actually mean that sweetheart..” he said, his voice soft since he was just kinda in shock- he didn’t want what he was thinking, to be the truth.
“Eddie this isn’t going to work out between us..” you muttered out with quiet sobs.
Those words just instantly hit Eddie like a train- his heart fell and shattered into his stomach, his face instantly dropped and his eyes started to fill with tears.
There was a slight ringing in his ears, what you said couldn’t be true- maybe he was just dreaming, maybe he was just having a truly bad dream and he would wake from it any second.
But seconds passed.. and it didn’t seem like he was waking up at any moment.
“..so- you’re just breaking up with me??..” he finally managed to mutter out quietly, his eyes full of tears and pain as he looked down at you.
You just stayed quiet, small sniffles escaping from you as you shook your head and looked down- unable to look up at him as small tears trailed down your face.
“Just like that-?.. we’re done??..” he got out in his shaky voice, his brown eyes slightly glaring at you.
You could tell he was upset and hurt- you could just feel the pain and anger from the glare he was burning through you.
He loved you more than anything in this life, and here you were- breaking his heart.
“Eddie.. you know I love you-” you got out quietly, your red puffy eyes finally moving to look at him.
His face was now red and just full of tears as he stood there, his fists clenched at his side- he didn’t know how to react.
At that moment he wanted to just punch a hole through your wall, but also he wanted to just break down on the ground and sob, just wanting to curl at your feet and beg for you to try and work things out.
But his body just couldn’t get him to do either besides freeze there while staring at you.
You decided after a moment of just staring at each other to make a move, your body slowly shuffling towards him as your shaky hand moved up to cup the side of his face.
You noticed how his eyes moved from your face to your hand, just looking down at it for a moment before looking back at your tear stained face- not saying a word.
“I didn’t want to do this Ed’s- you know that..” you whispered out through sniffles, looking up into his brown doe eyes.
But Eddie just shook his head and took in a deep breath, one of his hands moving to slowly pull yours off his face.
“No y/n… it’s fine- I’ll just get going now, I don’t want to slow you down.” He muttered out, his voice quiet but also slightly sharp sounding as he let out a tiny huff- his body moving to take a step back from you.
Your eyes just filled with more tears as you watched him instantly distance himself, the hurt obvious in his face and body.
You just shook your head as small sobs finally started to escape from you, your eyes watching as he brought his gaze down and instantly stormed out of your room.
You just broke down, your body forcing you to your knees as you leaned against your bed- the sound of heavy sobs escaping from you as you heard the front door swing open before slamming shut.
You just couldn’t seem to get your body to move- you were just stuck crying on the floor, all alone in your room full of small boxes.
Soon enough, your parents had slowly come upstairs, deciding to let you have your moment as they moved the boxes for you.
And after a moment- you managed to collect yourself, just completely numb with your tear filled eyes as you helped them put the rest of your shit into the truck.
This was just another step in your life, one that you needed to just walk over and move on from-
One big step.
-time skip-
It had been a pretty long since you have been back in Hawkins.
Yeah, you would visit here and there for holidays- but you never genuinely stayed and rested down back in your hometown.
You had decided to stay in California and lived there after you managed to find a pretty good job- you had even managed to find a few guys here and there and pretty much seemed to move on with your life.
But there was always that one thing stuck in the back of your mind- that being Eddie.
God you missed him- you missed what you had with him, you missed all the fun you used to have with him- you just missed him.
But it had been years, you were now in your late 20’s- you should have forgotten about him by now, he was just some high school boy that you loved, but it was way more that that..
and you knew it.
You had arrived at your parents place, being super glad they decided to let you stay with them for the time being until you find a nice little place either in or right outside of Hawkins.
You just missed home, after living in California for so long- you had started to get homesick, missing all your friends and family.. and certainly other things.
Currently, it was around 4:30 pm and your mom was starting to prepare a little ‘welcome home’ meal for dinner.
You had decided to help out, missing the feeling of just spending time with your mom after being away from her for so long.
As you guys were preparing dinner and shit- your mother had noticed that she had forgotten one thing, and she didn’t have any more currently.
So just to be nice and take the worry off your mother, you had offered to drive to the store to go pick her some up real quick- which she instantly appreciated.
You just instantly grabbed your jacket, quickly put on your shoes before you grabbed your car keys and sped out the house- just quickly getting into your car so you could pick up what she needed before dinner was finished cooking.
And when you got there, you did what you needed to do.
You walked into the store, grabbed what you needed, paid for it, and started making your way out the store.
You didn’t really recognize anybody in the store, I mean- you didn’t have a lot of friends to be honest living in Hawkins even though it was a pretty small town.
As you made your way back to your car, softly humming to yourself and just minding your own business- you heard a familiar voice.
You froze for a moment, just standing by your car as you listened to the voice speaking to somebody- at first it didn’t really click to you..
Who was it??..
As you slowly turned your head to look over at the person speaking, revealing their identity to you- you just froze.
You could recognize the long messy brown hair anywhere- the big shiny smile, the tall stature, the iconic brown doe eyes.. you could recognize them anywhere.
It was Eddie.
You knew it was rude but you couldn’t help but stare with wide eyes- he was even more beautiful now than he was in high school.
He had gotten more muscular, more tattoos that covered more of his arms and hands, also managing to see some poke out from the top and bottom of his shirt as he moved around carrying paper bags full of groceries.
He had grown a little scruff on his face and overall just looked more older and mature- this Eddie was wayyyyy different than the scrawny boy you dated in high school, he was now a man.
Out of instinct you wanted to go up to him, say hi, just try to make conversation with the man you once loved more than anything.
And you were genuinely planning on it- but as you took a small step away from your car, you froze once again as you saw a little girl quickly run up to Eddie and wrap her little arms around his legs.
She looked about 5, she had blonde hair that was wavy like Eddie’s slight curls- and she had the cutest little smile on her face as she happily squealed ‘daddyyy!!’ at almost the top of her lungs.
And as you stared, watching Eddie smile big down at the little girl while trying not to trip over her- his hands still full of groceries, that’s when you saw her.
A tall blonde woman- she looked gorgeous, she could have honestly been a model with how beautiful she was.
You watched as she appeared from around the car’s other side- a little grin on her face as she walked up to Eddie and quickly scooped up the little girl before pressing a small kiss to his lips.
Your heart just seemed to slightly jump up into your throat, and you just automatically put the pieces together.. you weren’t stupid after all.
Eddie had moved on with his life- he had gotten a wife, had a child- he had moved on.. completely forgetting about you.
You had definitely been staring for way too long, because as soon as the woman stepped away to put the kid in the back seat- Eddie’s eyes had glanced over, instantly making eye contact with you.
He seemed to instantly recognize you by the way his eyes widened, and his face dropped slightly- the same way it dropped when you broke up with him years ago.
You just felt a slight shock run through your body, instantly pulling you out of whatever trance you were in as your face turned red in embarrassment.
You just quickly shook your head and looked down, not wanting to waste another second of being there before you just quickly got back into your car and sped back off home.
You tried to play it cool for dinner- keeping casual conversation but not saying too much, also not staying too quiet to accidentally cause your parents to question you.
You just felt absolutely heartbroken with what you saw at the store, this is what is must of felt like for Eddie when you broke up with him- and now karma came back to bite you straight in the ass.
You just decided after dinner to go out and drive around, wanting to try and clear your mind from what you saw.
It had been years, it was obvious he wasn’t going to be stuck on you forever- he had to move on, and so did you..
But why was it so fucking hard?!
You had tried to get with other dudes, but they never worked out- all that you had in your mind was Eddie.. just Eddie.
Why did you ever break up with him-? It seemed to hurt you more than benefit you.
But now it was too late to cry and throw a fit about it- you now had to force yourself to move on, find somebody new.
And what better way to try and move on- then going to a bar??
You weren’t really interested in catching someone’s eye tonight- so you were just in casual clothes, I mean- you still looked nice but you just genuinely came here to drink and distract yourself a little.
You had sat down on the bar, quickly ordering yourself a drink.
You sat there for a while, staying to yourself as you looked down at your glass, just lightly fiddling with the rim of the glass.
“Funny to see you here..” you heard a voice say- and you instantly recognized it.
It caused a slight wave of shock to run through your body once again as you quickly picked your head up and sat up, your eyes slightly wide as you glanced over.
And there he was- Eddie Munson.
You didn’t notice how he had slid into the seat next to you, you didn’t even know when he arrived.
You noticed how he looked relaxed, there was slight tenseness in his shoulders as he sat up, but overall he seemed like he was trying to make sure you were comfortable.
“W-what are you doing here?..” you had managed to get out, your fingers nervously playing with the rim of your half empty glass.
Eddie had placed his arms on the bar, putting his tattooed and ring covered hands together as he rested against his elbows.
Your eyes had glanced down at his hands, instantly noticing the wedding band on his left ring finger.
But his eyes were on you- studying your face and eyes as he noticed you seem to slouch slightly while his eyes glanced down to his hands as he saw you looking at his wedding ring.
“Oh just.. y’know.. grabbing a drink, decided to come out and get out of the house..” he muttered, just letting out a small awkward cough as he moved his hands off the bar, causing your eyes to inevitably meet his.
They were soft, almost like a look of sympathy- it was like he could read your mind, but really he could just tell and know what you were thinking just by the look on your face.
“I’ve seen you got married.. had a daughter- they’re both beautiful-” you hummed out, just instantly getting to the elephant in the room as the bartender brought Eddie a beer.
You could hear the small sigh escape from his nose as he nodded his head and took a sip of his beer- just sitting there silent for a moment as he looked down at the bottle in his hand.
“Yeah.. they are my world.. we’ve been married for like three years.. and then we had her when we were still dating..” he muttered, his eyes moving down from the beer bottle back to you as you just nodded your head and sighed softly.
You would be lying if you said it wasn’t awkward- you two were literally the definition of awkward at that moment.
“Well- I’m happy for you.. truly.” You said, a soft tone in your voice and look on your face as you slowly brought one of your hands up to gently rest on his shoulder.
Eddie’s brown eyes just glanced over at your hand for a moment, sitting there quietly for a little bit before he looked back at you and gently lifted your hand up- deciding to hold it in his as he made eye contact with you.
“I want you to know y/n- you were the love of my life.. and I will still love you forever- even if we can’t be together..” he muttered softly, his hand giving yours a small squeeze as you felt his thumb run circles against the back of your hand gently.
You seemed to get teary eyed slightly as you looked into his eyes, a tiny sniffle escaping from you as you nodded your head lightly.
“And I will always love you… I always have Eddie- no matter what..” you whispered out as tears started to fill your eyes slowly.
Soon, Eddie’s hand had moved from holding yours to slowly hold the side of your face- a soft look in his eyes as he gently wiped away your tears with his thumb.
“Hey.. no crying on me, you know it hurts my heart-” he joked, a little stupid smirk appearing on his face which you couldn’t help but let out a tiny giggle at.
No matter what- Eddie always knew how to make you smile, even if you were sobbing and having a complete breakdown- he was always there for you to help and make you feel better.
“I’ll always be here for you sweetheart..” he said, his voice soft as he continued to look into your eyes.
You both just sat there for a moment- staring into each other eyes and just enjoying each other’s presence.
You even had decided to catch up on each other’s lives, and it was like you were back in high school joking and talking with Eddie.
Soon enough, it had started to get late- and Eddie had to get back home to his wife and daughter before he got in trouble.
You sat on the bar stool as Eddie stood up, leaving money to pay for his drink, as well as yours.
“It’s on me tonight, okay??- just, make sure to get home safe and we can still be friends… just- call me if you ever need me.” He said, his hand resting on your shoulder as he stood behind you.
You just gave a soft smile and nodded your head- and before Eddie walked off to leave, he placed a small friendly kiss on your cheek.
You couldn’t help but blush a little bit as you gave his hand on your shoulder a small squeeze.
“Byeee Eddie~” you said with a little grin, saying it slightly exaggerated to hint at him that he should really start heading home.
Eddie just let out a small chuckle and shook his head, giving a little bye before he finally left- leaving you at the bar to let you finish your drink and use his money to pay for your drink.
You had a relaxed smile on your face- just glad that even through everything.. you still were able to have Eddie in your life, even if it meant you guys were only friends.
(A/n: this took me so long to finish like holy shit, but I hope you liked it- 😭)
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optimist-pine · 2 days
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Chicken
Summary: In which Daryl greatly regrets ever offering to help you.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 614
Era: The Prison
A/n: There's no dignified way to wrangle a chicken. (Source: just trust me.)
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Capturing the ever-wilding fowl had been your bright idea, and you're sticking to the opinion that it's a good one - no matter what your companion's thoughts on the matter are. The crops are great, the pigs are fine, and the horses are beautiful. But the chickens have been your project from the start, and you take pride in your contribution.
At least, that's what you remind yourself as you stand here in the middle of the woods, out of breath and almost out of patience.
You take a step and startle the three birds in Daryl's direction for the umpteenth time. "If you-" You start to say.
He interrupts, "If these damn birds dun' start cooperatin' I'm eatin' chicken for dinner." He lunges for a black hen, wrapping his hands around her middle, but one of her wings isn't covered completely and it slips free, thwacking him square in the face. He recoils and drops her instinctively, cursing when she gets away again.
It's your turn to try and snatch a bird but you're finding it hard to stop laughing and your attempt is halfhearted. Daryl jumps on the opportunity, managing to hang onto the orange hen this time. Her wings are flapping like crazy and she's squawking as if he's trying to wring her neck; his arms holding her out as far from his body as possible. He's shouting at you to grab the crate to put her in, but a snort squeezes out and then another, and you're engulfed in laughter so intense you've got to hold your stomach and fight your screaming lungs for air.
You put your palm against a tree trunk for support, attempting to rein in the ridiculous sounds that your body is producing all while a chicken and a full-grown man have a mutual freakout a few steps away.
Somehow you manage to push the crate near enough to him that he can safely trap the hen. "It ain't that funny." He grumbles, giving you a squinty scowl.
"I know, I know, it shouldn't be-" You gasp around lungfuls of air.
"It ain't." He repeats.
"-but it is!" You choke. "You- you both looked ridiculous, I'm sorry!" Tears are leaking out of the corners of your eyes. The image of Daryl and the bird in full panic mode won't move out of your mind.
He huffs, the equivalent of an eye roll. "C'mon, girl. Let's get the rest'a yer stupid birds."
When you've made it back to the prison and introduced the new chickens to the rest of the flock Daryl points at the gorgeous white rooster you'd finally managed to wrangle. "Tha' one's gonna make a great meal."
You slap his arm lightly. "You better keep your grubby paws off'a my chickens! Sides, ya can't eat 'im til we get some chicks outta 'im."
Hershel joins the two of you with a gentle smile. "How'd the chicken catching go?"
"Piece'a cake." You grin.
That same orange hen is staring Daryl right in the eye. "That's not how I would'a described it..." He says, and you swear he shudders ever so slightly.
Unfortunately (for him) you spend a lot of time around the coop, and it's not long before a strange friendship reluctantly blossoms between the man and that bird. She constantly follows him and he actively tries to avoid her. It never fails to make you smile, and soon enough he's bringing her treats and giving her pats and it's rare not to see her tailing his heels.
And fortunately (for him) the day comes when he does in fact get to eat that rooster. He's adamant that it's the best chicken he's ever tasted.
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Say that You Love Me - Chapter 24
Break Free and Leave Us in Ruins
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, canon typical violence, insecurities, death, inaccuracies for how the U.S. government works, the Turning Point, angst!!! conclusion to the Replicator episode, end of Season 8
Series Masterlist
It came at night. 
You felt vulnerable. You hadn't felt like that in years.
Maybe the last time was when you got a little drunk in front of the team during your graduation party. Though, ever since Emily left, things were never the same. You felt it slowly at first, then by the time you realized, your guard was already back at ten feet tall.
Except when you were with Spencer.
But Spencer's gone. At least, the Spencer you knew. The Spencer who didn't hate you merely for existing. 
You hit the wooden dummy again with your fists tight around your knives. The dummy was your anger outlet, standing there innocently as you obliterated it. 
You didn't know how long you were there. All you knew, your workout playlist that consisted of 20 songs had been repeating itself multiple times. And yeah, maybe there was some blood from your knuckles and your hands were hurting every time you hit the dummy. But hey, at least, you could pinpoint which part of your body was hurting.
That was, until your left ear was void of any music. Instead, someone screamed out, "Stop, Daisy."
You didn't, stabbing the knife (sorry, dagger) to the middle part of the dummy. "Gym's closed."
"Y/N," Spencer wrapped his hand around one of your upper arms, turning you to face him instead of the dummy. "Stop it, please."
His pleading tone made you falter. You looked up at his face, illuminated only by the shitty fluorescent light of the FBI old training gym. His jaw was set, and you didn't want to know what his eyes were saying.
"What do you want?" You asked, desperately trying to hold together your ten feet wall that was already crumbling for him.
His brows furrowed in pain. "Y/N‒"
You scoffed. Anger was that one thread holding it together. "Which part of ‘I don’t want to talk to you’ don’t you understand?"
Spencer slid his fingers to your palm, then, bringing them together, sandwiched between his. "Are you okay?"
You snatched your hands back from his hold and shoved at his chest. He fell back, and wasn't expecting it, back hitting the dummy. In a fraction of a second, you snatched one of the knives from the dummy, pushing it under Spencer’s neck. He didn’t falter. He stared you down without an ounce of fear. 
If anything, he relaxed, pushing his skin down the blade, drawing up blood. 
You scoffed, annoyed that the power play wasn’t working and he turned the tide with a breath. You threw that knife on the mat. 
"What the fuck do you want from me, Reid?" You asked. "Just one less thing to be guilty about? It took you a near death experience to fucking care about me, huh?"
"That's not what's happening." He reiterated, tone pushing against your hard one.
"What? You have a fucking type, Spencer, and it's only a matter of time before everyone who loves you either die for you or because of you! But guess what–"
"Do you think I don't know that?" He was angry now. With you. Again. This was good. This was familiar. 
"–this isn't about you," You continued like he didn't say anything. "And I don't want to see you right now.”
"Stop deflecting!” He said. “Say something fucking real for once!"
"I miss you! I miss my best friend! And I'm sorry that I'm not as smart as Blake or as great as Emily. I'm sorry I wasn't there for Foyet or Maeve!”
You both were breathing hard, and you cursed yourself for letting that slip. For letting your mask slip. Spencer tried to reach out, hold your arms, but you pulled away. 
“Daisy–”
You took a deep breath to calm yourself down. All it did was make you notice the tears on your face. “I've tried to make peace with the fact that I lost you, Spencer, but it's so hard because it feels paralyzing. But I get it, okay. I fucking get it. Hate me all you want if it makes you grieve for her better. But Spencer, how do you grieve someone who’s still here?”
Spencer paused at your familiar words and his heart lurhced. “So you jumped head first into danger because you think I hate you?”
Just like that, the fire in your chest was ignited once again. How dare he boiled down what happened to a suicidal mission bullshit? You scoffed. “It was part of my job. Anyone else in the team would've done it."
"But you’re not anyone else," he said. "You’re Y/N L/N, you’re Daisy. You’re smart and better than this."
"Christ," you swore. "Maybe I’m not, okay? Maybe I’m just an impostor and I don’t deserve to be in the team!"
"You do, you are the best of us!" He said. "But not when you're like this."
You knew that deep down, that you brought nothing to the table. Just plain stupidity and bravado. 
They still could solve cases without you. Still could go to bars and clubs without you. Somebody else would pick up their coffee or keep the caramel candy in stock. It didn't have to be you. 
You were expendable. Back when you were a child, your parents finally had a son they have always wanted. Back at the CIA, dying was a part of the job description. Even now, when the one person you care the most said that he didn't want you with his family, you knew. 
Didn't mean you liked hearing it out loud.
Spencer swallowed at the look on your face. Oops. Your walls crumbled in less than a minute. 
"Y/N–" Spencer started. “I –I didn't mean –I’m sorry, please–”
"Don't," You stopped him. You bent down and took your duffle bag over your shoulder. "I get it."
“Stop,” he pleaded. “Just stop, please, for once, stay with me.”
Those words stopped you on your track. 
Those words struck your heart like a fishing hook and yanked it around.
“I'm not a target for your guilty conscience, Spence.”
“But I am,” you felt him moving closer to you. He was behind you now, close, so close. “I am guilty. Not on Maeve but with you. You were gone, Daisy, for weeks–and you didn't come when I needed you–”
“Spencer–”
“–if you couldn't come for me, then what happened to you?” He continued. “I know Hall and Barnes resigned the moment you got here, while Wilkes didn't come back. And these–” he traced the round of your left shoulder, feeling the scars. His hands moved to your shoulder blades, following the jagged skin. You shivered. “Why do you insist on diving head first into danger while leaving me–us behind?”
You ran out of words as you tried to hold back your tears. Angela had covered this during multiple sessions, but you weren't ready to admit to her the truth.
“Because it's all I've ever known,” you whispered, pulling yourself away from his hands.
“It doesn’t have to be that way anymore. The team needs you–I need you, but we need you sound,” he said.
You turned to him, Spencer, who was so deep in his own grief he lost more than just sleep and an unsub. “That’s rich coming from you.”
“And I was wrong.”
“Then why are you so angry with me, Spencer?” you asked, defeated.
Spencer swallowed, his head hung in shame. The coldness in his chest spreads to the tip of his toes. “You were right. I needed someone to blame. It shouldn’t have been you but when you left it was like–”
“Like your dad,” you finished. 
Spencer curled his hand into a fist, refraining himself from reaching out for comfort. He wanted to touch you, pull you close to his chest. He wanted to feel your heartbeat, remind himself that you were there and alive and breathing.
“And you’re right, I was angry with myself and I’m so sorry,” Spencer finishes. “I need you to be okay, and I need you to trust me again. However long it takes, Daisy.”
With that, Spencer squeezed your arm and walked away, being the one to leave you there for once.
**
Spencer had been trying to make amends. 
There would be an iced oat matcha latte on your desk every morning, along with a blueberry muffin. You were ready to forgive him, but you held strong. A small part of your brain was scared of the betrayal and you hadn’t fully trust him again. There was also a small detail of Marlin Roy targeting Ron’s life, and you couldn’t take the chances with anyone from the BAU.
There was something harder about cases involving significant others of the members of this team. You had always hated it when it was personal, and so did Strauss, you supposed. So yeah, you weren't looking forward to an impromptu trip to New York without a Broadway ticket booked in advance.
The killer, however, used drugs as his weapon. You didn't like that one bit, especially since it showed that the killer was targeting an already-vulnerable marginalized population.
"Look at all these," Derek said, gesturing to the mess of the latest crime scene where six people clubbing were found dead. "Because of some drug."
"Tainted drugs," you countered. "Besides, it's not their fault. Did you guys not watch Rent?"
"Well, someone's defensive," he said with narrowed eyes. "Have you done it before?"
"What? Drugs in general or MDMA specifically?"
"There's a need for distinction?" He whistled slowly. "Mama, didn't know you were a bad girl. What is it? Ecstasy? Meth?"
"Oh, no, stimulants made me sleepy. Strictly weed and shrooms, baby!" As soon as you said that, Rossi, who was passing, stopped in front of you. He raised a questioning eyebrow. "That was a joke, for legal reasons. That was a joke.”
Rossi shook his head and started to walk away. "I don't want to know."
Hotch was worried, you could tell. He knew something the rest of you didn't, and you didn't figure it out until you actually came face to face with Sean Hotchner. The guy reeked of omitted truth and under the table transactions. Back in your CIA days, he'd be the perfect guy to manipulate first to make your way in.
Seeing Sean reminded you of your brother, but you didn't want to think about the look on his face when he realized that was simply a job hazard to you. You didn't want to think about him waiting for you at the hospital or getting into a fight with Emily before he got into it with you.
You were at a pizza parlor across the street from Cassie's Manhattan penthouse when the call about Strauss came in. 
It was a rare time that you and Cassie could meet up face to face.
"I don't know, Cass," you told her after she asked you what you were planning to do about Roy. “How's Valerie doing?
"She's still recovering," Cassie said, a sadness in her tone. “The doctor said it was because her body was too worn down to carry a baby.”
"I'm so sorry, Cass," you said, holding her hand across the table. 
"Yeah, so we know I'm the one who can carry the baby, the next time we try,” Cassie finished her milkshake. “Are you sure you don't want Valerie's help about Roy?”
“I'm sure,” you said with conviction. “Especially not after the attempt on Ron's life. I'd rather he stay away too, but he's stubborn.”
“Well, you know good ol’ Ronald,” Cassie shrugged. “Is that why you're resigning too? To protect them?”
“What I have to do–it’s the only way I can come back after.”
Before Cassie could protest, your phone lit up on the table, JJ was calling you. Your screen was also flooded by texts from Penelope, who was just sending three consecutive S.O.S.
"Oh, shit," you said, getting a bad feeling. "I gotta go.”
Cassie sent you off with a small smile. "Be safe, darling!"
After a hug goodbye, you answered JJ, and ran like hell to the metro station, cursing Strauss in your head.
When the case was deemed inactive, so did the order to call off your protection detail. You had argued with Strauss, of course, but JJ insisted it was going to be fine. So you didn't have anyone following you to New York. 
And so, you were chasing after The Replicator again.
You went straight to the conference room after shoving your go bag in your locker the moment the team got back to the headquarters. Tensions were running high, everyone was equally determined and scared. They didn't have a chance to mourn Strauss, and you still hadn't decided how to feel about her in general.
Penelope's system crashed, so it was like you were missing a limb. Information was slower than you'd like to have, so you were more agitated than usual. Impatience and urgency clawed at your chest, making it a little harder to breathe every passing hour.
You left to get some chamomile tea in the breakroom to deal with the headache. It wasn't until you were making your way back to the conference room that you noticed something on your desk.
A single stem of a common daisy taped to a book you didn't recognize. At least, not at first.
Then you remembered. A middle-grade book that you got when it first came out six years ago, because Cassie gave it as a gag gift. It looked so stupid, but the message wasn't. 
Everything started to run in your brain all at once. The flower, the book, the fact that it was left on your desk–you ran up to the conference room where everyone was theorizing.
“I know how to find the Replicator.”
You had a team to test the items for drugs and other substances, bringing them to the conference room once they stated the all clear. Your gloved hand flipped through the pages, where more daisy petals fell out and a bookmark that said Zugzwang.
"The book is by Ally Carter, first one of a series about a teenage girl who was training to be a spy," you explained. "My friend, Cassie, gave it to me as a joke."
"So it's his way of saying he knew you were CIA?" Derek speculated.
"Maybe it also speaks to what his opinion is about Y/N," Spencer said. "A little girl who doesn't deserve her place in the BAU."
Hearing those words came out of his mouth stung like hell, even though you knew it wasn’t meant maliciously, but Blake had the decency to look down in shame. 
“And after Romania, the DoD sent me for a psych eval, did a cognitive where I told the former agent what happened during the mission, including about the daisy,” you took a deep breath. “Bianca–one of the orphans gave me a daisy before she was killed in the attack,” you continued, wiping your palm on your sides as if to get rid of the blood coating it. “Since I didn't give the Daisy moniker to anyone else, either the guy was in that hall during that lecture or–”
“He has access to the psych eval report and notes,” Derek finished. “We checked everyone in that hall when we were looking for Y/N, so it's not the former.”
Blake leaned over. “Who did your cognitive?”
“Uh, Jason Gideon,” you answered, noting the surprised look on everyone's faces except for Hotch and Rossi, but especially Spencer. “But it's not him. The guy barely wanted to do the job in the first place. And there's only a handful of people with that kind of clearance.”
Hotch cleared his throat. “So it is an inside job.”
"Yeah, well, find the person who accessed my files, find the Replicator."
Opening the Bianca drawer made you overflow. The thick feeling of blood on your hands wasn’t going away. You were tired, and exhausted and you needed to get away. You excused yourself to get some air, the painful memory of Bianca triggered the drawers of everyone else you have gotten killed, suffocating your head.
The moon was big that night, and usually with the light and air pollution, you wouldn’t be able to see it. But you did, and your hand itches for a pencil or some paint, at the very least to cover it so you don't feel the blood anymore. You wished you could lay a blanket there, to stare at the moon and the stars until everything was okay again. You wanted to call Angela, but decided against it as it was still related to an active case.
When you got back, they found that the team's case in Seattle when you were in Vienna was also replicated. Blake left to get the files from the fax machine, and Derek went to Penelope, leaving you, Spencer, and JJ at the bullpen.
JJ picked up on your unease, exchanging a glance with Spencer. “I’ll get you a new chamomile.”
Rossi walked in, then, looking worse for wear. He ran straight to his office, and you knew he just made the difficult decision to continue working on the case instead of wallowing in his grief.
"Do you think he’s going to be okay?” Spencer asked.
You shrugged. “He will be after two fingers of ancient whiskey.”
“And you?”
You kicked your feet to spin on the office chair. “What?”
Spencer put his hand on the back of the chair to stop it from spinning, forcing you to look up at him. After what happened at the Bureau’s gym, he had been trying to get your attention and you had been trying to avoid him. 
“Will you be okay?” He asked. 
There were times when you wanted to call him, have him come over for a marathon or ice cream. Angela would say it was your pride, but she didn’t know the truth. She didn’t know that another homicidal maniac was after you and you couldn’t take the risk of putting him in danger. You were ready to make amends and be friends again with Spencer since the first time he got you an iced matcha latte. Before you said anything, though, Derek and Blake joined you, and you remained silent. 
"I need everybody in the conference room," Hotch commanded, before making his way there himself. 
He briefed the team on a list of names he scored from a contact at the DoD based on the profile and perimeter the team listed out. After Hotch gave you a list of names, he left with Derek to talk to Rossi.
"Just a question, do we have to do this legally?" You asked to the room.
"Yes," JJ said simply.
"So I can't–"
"Nope."
You frowned. "You don't even know what I'm going to say!"
"We are not getting anyone in the CIA in on this, under the books favors or not," JJ said pointedly at your frowning face. 
You pouted. "Fine."
Hotch came barrelling into the conference room five minutes later, face concerned.
"They're taking Rossi in the infirmary, he'd been drugged," Hotch informed. He turned to you, "You should go with him, report to me if anything changes."
"Aye, aye captain!"
You followed the paramedics guiding Rossi down with a stretcher, a line of saline hooked to his arm. His face and neck were covered in sweat, lips dry and pupils blown wide. 
"Oh, that's a bad trip, isn't it, old man?" You teased, looking at him who was holding his pounding head.
"You're being too loud," he grumbled. You laughed at him and said thank you to the medic. You took the water the medic left and opened it, which he gulped down eagerly. "Thanks."
"You should eat something, so it'll clear up faster," you extended the pre-packaged cold sandwich you managed to grab from the break room beforehand. "Trust me."
Rossi took half of the sandwich –cheese and turkey– and gave the other half to you. You took a bite. "Aaron told me about the daisy."
"Yeah, well," you swallowed, shrugging. "It wasn't in the initial report. No wonder you didn't know."
"I'm sorry," he said. "You had to go through all that, when you were so young."
"I'm sorry, too." You said. "About Strauss. I don't really know her, but I knew you two were close."
"I didn't want to put you in an awkward position," he admitted. 
You groaned. "Are you kidding? The team thought you and Hotch are my surrogate dads. I'm already in an awkward position."
"Aaron is more like the grumpy uncle," he joked. "But you're family, you know that, right? Anything you need, you can come to us."
Your mind immediately went to him. The BAU had resources you didn’t have, namely six competent, very smart profilers and a Penelope Garcia. Then again, you had Ron and Valerie and basically zero red tape. You didn’t know the extent of how far he will go and you’d like to find out for yourself before bringing in other people. 
"Right now, I need to get this son of a bitch," you said, finishing your sandwich. You really didn't want to question your place in the team in front of him. You stood up, stuffing the crumpled wrapping paper to your jacket pocket. "You coming, old man?"
And that was how you ended up driving like a maniac to rural Virginia with Penelope guiding you and Rossi strangely calm in the passenger seat.
Local PD was on sight, along with firetrucks and ambulances. You and Rossi passed the crashed helicopter, and you couldn’t help but hoped that Spencer was okay. After the lead detective briefed you on what he knew, you and Rossi came up with a plan. 
The two of you and a SWAT officer entered the house from the front. Immediately, you spotted the electrical wiring on the walls. You spotted one of the transformer boxes, and you called the officer over. 
“I need you to do exactly as I said back there,” you told him. “Then, I need you to wait at the entrance. Lead everyone back to the safe zone, do you copy?”
The officer nodded. “Copy.”
You split up with Rossi at one point, with you going straight to where the team was being held. Once Rossi reversed the mechanics of the door, you went inside with your gun raised and was greeted by another bunch of guns pointed at you. 
“Y/N,” Spencer said, breathing in relief. You lowered your gun when you made sure there were no other threats.
“Everyone okay?” You asked. They nodded in confirmation. You made your way to the pressure plate on the seat. With a skilled hand, you put the folded sandwich wrapping paper from your pocket to create a wedge between the springs, keeping it in a seated position for the door. You shouted. “It’s in place!”
You heard a thud, then Rossi walked through the sliding door calmly. He ordered, “We need to get out, now.”
“You heard him,” you pushed. “Go!”
However, instead of running towards the door, Spencer moved towards you. “Aren’t you coming with us?”
“I need to try to diffuse the bomb, Spence,” you told him. “We’re taking him alive, aren’t we?”
Spencer pushed his lips into a firm line. “Then I’m staying with you.”
You stood up, hand finding his arm, holding on tightly. If your calculations were correct, you’d be out of here in time. If not, you’d be toast along with Rossi and Curtis. But Rossi was fully confident in the plan, and you couldn’t pass up an opportunity for him to get his revenge. 
“I promise you,” you said to Spencer, looking into his eyes. “I will meet you out there. You have to trust me.”
It was JJ and Rossi who pulled him away. With one last look at you, the six of them left the trap room. 
Second phase. 
Sure enough, thirty seconds later, John Curtis entered his own trap. Surprised painted his features when he found you there, leaning against the doorframe, wrapping paper in your pocket, instead of Blake and the rest of the team.
“I always wondered why they fought tooth and nail to get you on board the BAU,” He taunted when he recognized you. “After all, you’re not that special.”
“Drop the gun” you started, nodding at the weapon at his hand. Crossing your knee over the other, you kept your own pointed at him, relaxed. The leather of your boots shone under the dim light. “I don’t need to be special, I just need to be better than you.”
He lowered his gun to the floor and kicked it towards the door. “You little–”
“Shit? Yeah, so predictable,” you said. “If it was up to me,  I would make sure my face was the last one you see before you rot in a far away gulag. But sadly, it’s really not up to me.”
“Hello, Curtis.” Rossi rounded the corner then, coming out of his hiding place. He took Curtis’s gun further out the door.
John Curtis recognized Rossi. More importantly, he recognized the fury and hatred in Rossi’s eyes. He knew what was coming for him, and in a desperate attempt to save his life, called out to you. “He's coming after you. After all of you! I can help!”
Rossi glanced at you in question, but you just shrugged at him. “A poor man’s attempt to save his own life.”
However, you knew what Curtis said made sense. If he was stalking the team, he would have seen what was going on with you and the Art Crimes division. He would've known or even made contact with your very own ghost. Too bad for him that you already had your way out.
Something shifted on Curtis’s eyes, he sat on the pressure plates. “You’d really die for them?”
“That’s the oath we all took to protect this country from people like you,” he answered. “No matter what.”
Curtis shook his head. “You never appreciated me, none of you! I gave you my life, and you rejected me, while you took a little girl off the streets and gave her what I deserved!”
“You could tell me your sob story while walking,” Rossi said, having no patience for Curtis’s evil spiel. 
Something pinged, and you knew that was the device Curtis used to monitor the bomb. You breathed out. This was the part where timing played an important role. The jammer you had that officer put on the transformer box gave you just enough time for this. From the start, you knew Rossi wasn’t planning on taking Curtis alive, but you had to give him the choice. 
“We’ll go out as heroes,” Curtis said as he stood up, closing the door. 
You exchanged a glance with Rossi. Smiling, you pushed yourself off the wall. “Yeah, well, we’re not so sure about that.”
The door slid open as you pushed it from behind Rossi. Strauss’s Alcoholic Anonymous coin jammed the locking mechanism, and you quietly promised her that you forgave her for saving your life in that house.
“Zugzwang,” Rossi taunted before stepping out the door. You let your hand go and didn’t stay long enough to watch Curtis’s face as he was locked in his own trap. 
Rossi ran in front of you, and when you counted to five, you tackled him to the grass as the place blew up into the air. Hot blast licked your skin, all consuming. You heard Hotch calling out for Rossi, and you heard Spencer calling out for you. 
Your ears rang because of the blast and after feeling the grass beneath your fingers, you couldn't really hear anything. You saw Hotch pulling Rossi up, moving his mouth and gesturing as best as he could towards you. The force of the blast knocked the wind out of you, and you felt your chest tightened.
A cough, then another one. It was like your lungs were trying to clean themselves.
“Y/N!” You heard faintly. Someone wrapped their arm around your shoulders, pulling you up. You turned your head only to find Derek.
“Come on, pretty girl,” you heard him say faintly. Your head was pounding, everything was too bright.
Then, you looked up. 
Spencer was not wearing his vest anymore. As you got closer, you realized he had a wild look on his face. His hand twitched, and you knew he wanted to hug you but was unsure of where you both stand on that.
So you ran up to him first. It was as if the smoke had lifted, the air cleared, your ears were working again, the moment his arms wrapped around you.
“I thought I lost you,” he said, voice breaking.
“I'm okay,” you assured him and yourself. “I'm okay.”
And there you were, at Rossi’s, laughing and nodding along the team as they mourned someone you didn't really know, as they celebrated her life. That night was about family, and you might not know Erin Strauss, but you knew your team. 
You knew Rossi and the blooming rose bush you planted in his backyard. You knew Hotch and Jack. You knew JJ and Henry. You knew Derek and his secret taste for designer shirts. You knew Blake and her newfound appreciation of you. You knew Spencer and his touch that didn't leave you that night.
And you knew that to keep this family together, you needed to leave.
So you made up your mind. And when you got home, you called Cassie.
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cry4mina · 1 day
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Take Me Back to Eden - Ascensionism (Part 4)
(Nayeon x Fem!reader)
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Take Me Back to Eden - Choke Hold - Part 1
Take Me Back To Eden - Granite - Part 2
Take Me Back To Eden - Aqua Regia - Part 3
Word Count: 8.5k Angst/Angst/Smut Summary: Reader finds out the truth behind what Jihyo and Nayeon has been up to, she takes the steps to become more independent and heal her grief, only to fall back into old habits. TW: Betrayal, suggestive themes, lying, break ups, cheating, manipulative behavior, anxiety, top!reader x Bottom!nayeon, choking, degradation, truthfully its rough sex but anyways, let me know if I missed anything! A/N: After a reasonable amount of requests I decided to continue the series. I also decided to write smut for the first time. Thank you to @saiiidahyunee @neoplatinum and @miinatozakiii for the help/advice for this part! <3 (srsly, this wouldn't have happened without them)
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“Did she believe you or do we actually need to stop seeing each other?” 
Pulse radiating in every cell of your body, waiting to see if there’s another text from Jihyo. Absolutely baffled as the lie shatters your consciousness, returning you to the jagged spiral you were still reeling from.
It was true. She did this to you. 3 years of deception and it was all happening right under your nose. 
Knees buckling underneath you as you think back to the conversation you had in the kitchen the night prior. 
The tears she shed, the way she spoke…the way she studied your face… She was acting through the whole thing and you believed her. 
“Nothing has happened since, and nothing like this would ever happen again. I wanted to tell you but the person I was then and the person I am now are two completely different people. Even that version of myself would never dream of hurting you in such a way.”
 Stomach churning at the words previously said, fighting back the hatred growing in you. 
‘Please understand that I would do anything to remove this from my past…our past.” 
Nauseously fighting the tears threatening to spill from your eyes, remembering how your skin felt against hers as you slept next to her the night prior and you cringe knowing it was all fake and you had fallen for it. 
Nayeon’s phone vibrates in your hand again, revealing another text from the other responsible party. 
“We can lay low for a little while and let it all simmer down, if that’s easier. But I don’t want to stop being with you.”
As you stare at the screen, truth reflects back onto your face, flashing through your memories with her. Decorating the house on the holidays, her meeting your parents, anniversaries, going out to dinner; Even the small touches to show affection that intertwined themselves into everyday life hardened your exterior as you built your walls back up brick by brick wondering how long they’ll hold up with the digital reinforcement you’ve stumbled upon.   
The need for the truth pokes at your chest while opening the text thread between her and Jihyo. 
———————————Yesterday 11:34 pm——————————
Jihyo: Y/n didn’t seem to believe me when we spoke, I hope she listens to you or we might have a problem. 11:34pm
Nayeon: We might have a problem then 11:35pm
Nayeon: I don’t know if her and I will make it thru this 11:35pm
Jihyo: Do what u can. We will just have to cover our asses if the company finds out we are sleeping together. 11:37pm
Nayeon: It seems like she can’t really make a decision. I put her to bed a little while ago because she was exhausted. 11:38pm
Nayeon: She did bring me dinner last night… 11:38pm
Nayeon: She actually just came to the living room and def only in underwear…I’ll update u in the morning. 11:40pm
Jihyo: Just because she’s the piece that’s keeping the public and our company from finding out doesn’t mean I want to hear stuff like that, Nayeon. 11:42pm
———————————Today 8:12 am——————————
Jihyo: Did she believe you or do we actually need to stop seeing each other? 8:12am
Jihyo: We can lay low for a little while and let it all simmer down, if that’s easier. But I don’t want to stop being with you. 8:14am
Forgetting to blink as you’re reading the thread, in disbelief that you almost gave them the forgiveness they asked for. Caught between the smoke and mirrors, an illusion painted for the public eye to cover the secret that only they knew. 
Screenshot clicks lightly as you send yourself the evidence and delete the pictures from the text thread as well as Nayeon’s phone. You wanted to be able to look back on this and remind yourself that she was responsible, and that you'd never give her another chance. 
Sliding her phone into your pocket, you walk into the bedroom. 
Nayeon is distracted in the bathroom preparing for your morning shower together. Hearing the door of the shower sliding open and the sound of the head sputtering to start. The clashing of the water hitting the tile mimics the storm you felt brewing up inside of you.  
As your rage builds you quickly grab a backpack out of the closet, unintentionally knocking a tote bag down as you pull the straps. Trinkets of all kinds scatter across the floor, you flinch at the sound and look down at the mess before immediately unzipping the bag.
“Is everything okay, baby?” Nayeon yells from the bathroom, it's muffled by the foam of her toothpaste as you hear her spit into the sink.
Body tensing at the pet name, knowing the illusion of the past 3 years was uncomfortable and devastating. 
“Yes. Just dropped something.” You shout back trying to hide the towering rage that is rocking against the winds of change your digital confirmation created. 
 “Okay, my love, I’ll be waiting for you in the shower.” She sings back trying to play cute with you. 
You roll your eyes while shoving the bag full of everything you’d need for the next few days as quickly as possible. Clothes, charger, wallet, important documents, and your laptop. 
Putting on the first pair of pants you see and not even bothering to change out of the oversized sweater you threw on to cover up while you had your morning coffee. 
Quietly running to the dresser to grab some socks, your foot kicks some of the mess left on the floor. Sighing at the annoyance of it being in your way but it slows down enough to see what the contents were. Jewelry you’d never seen, love notes opened with a wax seal, and countless pictures of Jihyo and Nayeon together. 
Frozen in fury as you take in what you’re unintentionally uncovering, a singular tear drenched in anguish falls - the tap on the photo echoing in your ears. Reaching your limit and the overflow of emotions are about to spill out of you in a slurry of misery and hatred.
Grabbing the specific Polaroid of them kissing, tucking it into your pocket with her phone and leaving everything else where it landed. Preparing for the confrontation, knowing she’ll probably try to cover it again. No more running from it and no more hiding from it, you had her cornered with the proof that she was a liar. 
Hopping onto the counter in the bathroom, you waited for Nayeon to realize you’re there. The shower door is slightly open, she left it for your entrance. Opening her eyes momentarily to see you staring back at her, much like most mornings. 
This morning was different though, after the fight you got into that spread out over a week and the information you got this morning; there was a thickness in the air that wasn’t just steam. Almost visible in how it intimately caressed your heart into a conflicted mess of emotions, waging wars inside your chest.  
 “Aren't you gonna join me? I’ve got a blank canvas for you if you’d like to make more art out of me.” She coyly says, winking at you.
 Your cringe is covered by the steam coated glass, repulsed by the thought of this stranger touching you the way she used to. The trust was no longer there. Being past anger, past sadness, and clinging to the numbness so you could get through this conversation. 
Trying to keep your brain on track when Nayeon steps out of the shower and walks towards you, seductively. A thin layer of sweat is starting to appear on your skin as she gets closer to you, you’re trying to talk yourself out of the thoughts of what would happen if you just showered with her and forgot what you found. 
You can’t do that to yourself, you know that. You would never knowingly accept less than you deserve but your heart was fighting you with every step she took towards you.
She puts her wet hands on your thighs, allowing the material to cling to your skin, “why are you wearing these? Just so I can take them off?” Her pupils are wide as she fixates on your face watching you half glare back at her.
 Swallowing as you try to keep yourself from shaking as the numbness wears off and turns to despair and then shifting erratically to pure anger and then back to despair again. The pattern is familiar, you’ve lived it before a few times. Trying your best to conceal the rapidly changing mood and keep a straight face.
 It seems to go unnoticed as she parts your jean clad legs and slides her waist between them wrapping her arms around your neck. Shivering at the warmth of her skin against yours as her fingers lace through the hair on the back of your head, trying to get you to cave into her wants. 
Your body is definitely reacting to her being this close to you the way it always did. The ache in your core screaming at the familiarity but your mind is repulsed. How many times had she done this with Jihyo? 
Not pulling away, allowing her to set herself up, the same way she let you. Leaning into your ear, lips brushing against its shell as she whispers “I’d love to take this off, if you’ll let me.”
“Do you really think you deserve it after what you’ve done?” sternly leaves your mouth. 
Clench her thighs as you speak, she loves when you talk to her that way. Not realizing that your voice is heavy with a different type of malice, not the usual light hearted mask you wear for her when she wants some roughness. 
 Hands come off your neck and slide under the sweater. She’s relieved you don’t have a bra on as she scratches harshly down your back, like she always did during sexually driven moments much like this one, in an attempt to rile you up more. 
It works for a moment, you groan and chase after her lips as she teasingly pulls away from you. Challenging your power and being a brat, refusing what you were asking for to intentionally make things more heated. Two can play that game.
“Close your eyes and hold your hands out.” Softly spoken while only an inch away from her face. Her half lidded eyes looking up at you for a moment. The sparkle for you is still encapsulated in her big brown eyes. 
Immediately listening, placing full trust in you. Removing her from between your legs, you guide her back and against the glass shower door. It rattles on impact as she leans against it, inciting a gasp from her. 
Her hands are up and out, waiting for whatever you had in store for her.  She’s smiling up at you, eyes closed, intrigued about what you’d place in her digits. 
Reaching into your pocket and pulling out her phone and the picture. Looking at them one more time before placing them directly into her hands, almost as an offering, like it’s your ticket out of this mess you unknowingly found yourself in. 
“You can open them now.” Tone leaving little to mystery as it sneers out of you. 
Her brows furrow as she realizes something isn’t right. Nayeon opens her eyes and looks down at what you’ve placed in her hands. Confusion waves across her face until she sees the image of her and Jihyo kissing, staring back at her. Hearing the gasp leave her lips, a deep gust of air is still not enough for Nayeon as she almost starts to panic.
You’re out of the room in seconds, her quickly following behind you, she grabs onto the sweater leaving a wet handprint that matches the ones on your thighs. 
 “Please, let me explain!” she begs frantically and tugs on the sweater harder to try and get your attention while you’re gathering more necessities for your daily routines. 
“Drop the act, Nayeon. I don’t want to hear anymore from you.” Your tone is growing more callous as time goes on. It roughens up the few soft spots she had even if it was entirely her fault you were going through this life changing event.
 Her face shifts from worried to annoyed as you sprint around the room, not bothering to organize anything being placed into the backpack.
“And where are you going to go, huh?” she asks, tilting her head and dropping her arms to her side heavily, allowing her frustration to show for a split second before she remembers she’s still completely naked and dripping wet from the shower on the rug in your bedroom.
Taking a step forward to get in her face, you startle her, not expecting you, soft gentle y/n, to approach her in such a way. Leaning back when you stepped forward but not breaking eye contact. You watch her leg start to bounce as she gets more anxious realizing you were angry in a way she had never seen, fire behind your eyes noticeable as you adjust your stance to show her you weren’t backing down and you were no longer scared to lose her. 
Movement feeling foreign to her as she’s unable to keep calm like the Nayeon you knew of. Backed into a corner and baring her teeth as you confront her about her wrong doings, is an attempt to control the situation and she was about to try an old tactic that had worked previous to this. 
Playing with the belt loops on your jeans, she brings her voice back to the sweet one you used to know,  “Are you just going to keep running away from me? Or can we talk this out? I thought we were okay. I thought we could get past this together” Retorting in a semi-cooled tone. Eyes watering again and the block of ice in your chest is trying to thaw in you as she leans in to put her satin lips on yours for a small second of contact before you avoid the affection, knowing you’d crumble at the act. Not allowing yourself to fall into her grasp again, knowing she was willing to hurt you in an incomprehensible way, and feel no guilt.  
“That was before I saw those texts and before I found the bag of secret Jihyo shit in the closet, Nayeon!” 
Looking down at the phone you handed her to read the message. The realization of what’s happening washes over her face, it couldn’t be played off as a misunderstanding anymore. She had been caught red handed and had to deal with the consequences. 
Nayeon leaned in harder to her act of fake innocence, insinuating that you were in fact the big bad for violating her trust like she wasn’t the one who burnt yours to crisps and used the ashes as eyeshadow.
“Why did you go through my phone?” She crosses her arms, pushing her breasts together. She’s trying to distract you with multiple tactics but it wasn’t working, her act faltering when scrutinized. . 
Extremely angry, your brain couldn’t see her as anything other than an enemy. “Is that really what you’re worried about right now? Our entire relationship was a false front for you and Jihyo and all you can do is try to flip it on me?! …Who made you like this?” harshly asking just trying to understand what she had to gain from hurting you in such a way. 
“You don’t trust me?” Nayeon says sweetly, touching your torso again. Pulling away roughly, unable to  believe it’s even a question she thought would be a good to say out loud, when you both knew what the answer was. 
 “You have been cheating on me for the entirety of our relationship and you have the audacity to ask if I trust you? Fuck you.I gave you the opportunity to be honest with me and you threw it right back in my fucking face, Nayeon!” laying into her, letting out every drop of anger she caused you through your teeth.
“3 years of what?! You completely ruined everything, our entire relationship was fake so you could fuck Jihyo without suspension! So absolutely not, I don’t trust you in any sense of the word.” voice starting to crack as you tear up, “and to think I was actually going to propose to you” letting the sadness of the future lost memories drain out of you onto the person who caused it all. 
Speechless and not believing that the docile person who was head over heels for her could have such venom to spit. A new light is shining down on you as you display your livid behavior. Oddly, even more attracted to you than she already was, she was in a trance as she realized what you said. 
“You were going to…propose?” Quietly said back to you. Her eyes are saddened as she starts to understand the weight of her choices and all the things that will never happen again between the two of you. The guilt cuts deep, creating a sharp sting in her chest as a heart string popped.  
Rolling your eyes and open the drawer in the kitchen that normally is reserved for “junk” to pull out a little black box, slamming it on the counter. “I really wanted to…” allowing yourself to be vulnerable for a moment as she reaches out to open the jewelry box and sees the perfect ring. 
The pear shaped diamond in the middle was huge, with little diamonds laid into a rose gold band. This is how she described her dream wedding ring to you on your 3rd date. You wrote it down in the notes of your phone for the moment you would need it, thinking she was the one. 
Eyes matching the diamonds, sparking with light as they fill with tears. She never thought about how much you paid attention or how well you knew her. Too wrapped up in playing her role with both you and Jihyo to even think that you were set on her being the one you wanted to spend your life with.  
“I need you to tell me how it started. I need to know why.” speaking cold heartedly, keeping the distance between the two of you. 
“...It did start with a drunken night. That was true. I never tho-” She started as she lowered her eyes. 
“Look at me when you’re talking.” deliberately call her out, rattling her a little bit, her face turns red, eye wide as she goes to speak again.
“I never thought that it would go this far with her. I really was genuinely upset when Jihyo told me what happened the first time. I didn’t remember anything at all and then she convinced me not to say anything and then we hung out a few days later and…it happened again but sober this time and it just never stopped. There was no emotion behind it for me, I swear. I love you, not her.” 
A freight train crashes through you as you reel at the information hitting your ears. 
“You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to claim you love me when you’ve been living in a black light paradise with someone else this entire time.” hissing dispassionately to assert your words.
“But two things can be true at once, like you always say…” throwing back at you with a smirk knowing how much your own rhetoric being used on you makes you angry. 
Aggressively grabbing your backpack again and heading towards the door again, once intimidating, now a way to safety as you jerk it open, feening for escape from the heavy atmosphere. Your steps are quick and precise as you make your exit. 
 “I made a mistake, y/n. She’s not you. She will never be you.” Almost shouted at you as one foot stepped over the threshold. 
 “You were the mistake and I hope your guilt drowns you.” 
– 
An anchor pulls your heart to the bottom of the ocean. You told Nayeon to drown but it was you who couldn’t swim. Pulling harshly at your arteries as you sludge towards your car, feeling as if you’re moving in slow motion just trying to escape the shark infested waters.
Remembering this same feeling from before, but this one was much more certain. With the evidence in front of you, the admission from both parties, and the way Nayeon spoke to you- there was no more safety in who she portrayed herself to be. The illusion has smashed into shards of false love, leaving you to pick up the pieces. 
You drive to Momo’s house, not bothering to call before showing up, you don’t think you could speak anymore, your jaw is tense the entire way there to hold everything in. 
Walking up to the door and hitting the door bell, the dogs bark to alert their owners. The locks click open and the door cracks open to reveal a surprised Momo. 
“Y/n, what are you do-“ cutting her off as you collapse into her arms. You kept it together long enough to get to your best friend, but now the dam was broken and unable to contain the pure pain that was born from the cruelness Nayeon showed you.
Momo drags you into the house and sits you on the same couch you slept on days before, sitting next to you and trying to comfort you as you shake and sob, wrapping your arms around yourself trying to create a sense of safety for yourself that couldn’t be torn from you.
“Y/N, what happened?” Momo is so concerned with your inability to calm down, it’s starting to make her upset. 
Dahyun walks into the room, hearing the commotion. The loudness of your sobs ringing in her ears with her heart sinking into her stomach as she sits on the other side of you, joining Momo’s effort to comfort you. 
Shakily breathing as you try to regulate yourself yet again, this time it feels harder than the last because at least last time there was hope. You are only experiencing extreme sadness and betrayal, with a lot of anger mixed in it but there was no hope present.   
Unaware of how long you’ve been crying as Dahyun gets up “I’ll go make up the guest bedroom.” Rubbing your back as she walks past you. 
“Thank you,” you squeak out through your teeth, struggling to calm down. 
Momo has a look on her face that could cut diamonds. Anger radiating off her cheeks as she grabs her phone, taps it a few times and brings it to her ear quickly, she stands and taps her foot waiting for the other person to answer.  
Nayeon is heard on the other side, “is she with you?” 
Momo’s face is repulsed by this considering the state of you in front of her but she answers the question anyway,
 “Yes, what happened? She’s obviously not okay. Tell me what happened.” Momo’s arms are crossed, standing up she shifts her weight from one leg to the other. 
“I don’t know, she just got upset and left”
“Nayeon, I have known you for years.You’re lying. Y/N wouldn’t just show up sobbing uncontrollably for no reason, so tell me what happened or I'm hanging up.” talking with her hands, raising them in a frustrated manner as the lies keep coming.
“Well if she didn’t want to hurt herself she should have gone through my phone.” annoyance present in Nayeon’s tone.
Momo looks over at you, devastated for the second time on her couch pulling your phone out in silence and showing her the text thread screenshots you had taken earlier.
“It’s not as big of a deal as it’s being made out to be.”
“Are you serious right now?” Momo harshly questions as Nayeon continues. 
“Are you going to question Jihyo like you questioned me? Or are we just gonna pretend like she’s not part of this too?” 
The sharpness in her tone was something you had witnessed before but the taste of her name coming out of Nayeon’s mouth was unbearable.
Momo gasps at the new knowledge that has now been thrown at her. Completely statuesque, as she tries to wrap her mind around what Nayeon just said.
 Momo’s eyes look up on your screen to reveal the name at the top of the text thread: Jihyo  
The rush of emotions she was experiencing was overwhelming to her senses, momo’s voice choked with tears as she spoke to Nayeon.
“Wait…what did you just say? J is Jihyo?!” Momo says in complete disbelief, shocked at not only what she’s reading on the screen but by what she was hearing from one of the parties involved.
“Yes. So please call and interrogate her. Can I speak with my girlfriend now?”
“No, you can’t. I am not friends with people who do this type of thing, Nayeon. How could you do this to y/n?” she shouts through the phone, hunched over with a hand on her knee, trying to understand all the pieces of this complicated puzzle.    
Momo, trying to keep the anger she felt under wraps, started pacing in the room taking laps around the couch as she spoke. 
“Nayeon…are you kidding me? How long has this been going on?” Confused was an understatement, Momo was completely overstimulated with the information she was being given. 
 Never noticing the connection between how close Jihyo and Nayeon were, always sharing hotel rooms on tour, finishing each other’s sentences, the looks across the room, Nayeon staying at Jihyo’s house frequently…it was all starting to add up and Momo is seeing red over the pain of her best friend being hurt beyond belief, and by someone who was supposed to be her family. She was just as angry as you were. 
“Momo, I don’t want to do this right now, Can I please speak to Y/n? I’m trying to save my relationship and not be put under a microscope by you.” 
“I can’t believe you would do this. You spoke of Y/n like she moved mountains for you and this is what you’ve been doing behind her back? I’m disgusted with you and your actions…and I’m pretty sure she’s your ex-girlfriend now but you knew that already, didn’t you?” 
Momo hung up quickly, not caring about what Nayeon had to say back to her. More worried about you and your emotional state than anything Nayeon had to say.
 “Did she tell you why or was it her avoiding the question?” inquiring as she took a seat next to you, giving an apologetic look and a bear hug to try to make you feel better. 
“She told me enough for me to want to leave my home, technically she didn’t even tell me, I found a secret bag of Jihyo stuff in our closet with a bunch of pictures of them together, and one shot of them kissing, wax sealed love letters and jewelry.” Voice cracking and shaking as you bite back more emotion. 
Momo gasps as the story unfolds before her, she can’t believe what she’s hearing. It is so polar opposite of what she expected of her members. She always thought they were kind and loving. She imagines what y/n might be feeling in all of this. 
“I am so sorry. Please let me know how I can help you get through this.” reaching for you to pull you into a warm embrace. 
“Well, I’m definitely going to need to find a new apartment so if you want to help me with that I’d be grateful.” half chuckling through some tears, trying to add a little light into the situation. You hated the idea of someone else being upset because of this situation.
“Consider it done” Dahyun walked back in with swollen eyes, sniffling. She probably overheard the argument Momo just had and was reflecting the same amount of empathy as Momo was. 
“We can start tomorrow!”
About 3 weeks went by and you were slowly showing signs of your old self. You were going out with friends again, hanging out with Momo a lot, and starting to become present again, no longer constantly seeing the rewind of Nayeon’s innocence faltering behind your eyes. Still receiving texts from Nayeon at least 2 times a day. They served as a reminder of what once was. 
Momo and Dahyun were patient with you, letting you speak with them about the effects this trauma was having on your mental health. It’s always hard to watch your loved ones go through something this difficult but it was obvious that they were proud of how you were handling it, even if it was hard. They were always there to remind you that you could do hard things. 
Finding a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom that was close to Momo and Dahyun’s, signing the lease immediately. It was a slight upgrade to the studio that you and Nayeon occupied previously. The kitchen was bigger, the natural light was brighter, and the bathroom had a large bathtub that you could fully lay down in, which you were looking forward to. 
Spending a week finding the perfect furniture for it, designing the interior however you wanted and making it your own space without someone else’s opinion in the back of your mind was fun. You enjoyed doing this for yourself, fixating on something that had to do with you alone. You felt the ashes from previous ruin sprouting stems as you tried to move on.
You had really been focusing on yourself, trying to resurrect yourself after total devastation. Pulling out the roots, and planting good ones so later on you could reap the benefits. Changing the perspective of your brain was hard, but well worth it.
Being in a better place mentally and emotionally as your sense of stability was so close to being present again, you thought it was time that you continue with the last step of separating from Nayeon.
There was still some stuff you wanted to get back at your old apartment but you didn’t want to run the risk of Nayeon being there. You had no desire to face her, especially while you were still mending. You decided to reach out to her to let her know you’d be coming by to get the rest of your things. 
“Hey, I’m going to stop by today to get my stuff. I’d really like it if you weren’t there.“ You hesitate to hit send, not wanting to come off in a rude way. Quickly realizing how absurd that was and hit send. 
 “So now you reply? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for weeks… are you doing okay?” almost immediately after the message was delivered, like she has been staring at the thread waiting for you to say something. 
“That’s not your concern anymore. What is your schedule like this week? I won’t be long. I’d just like my things, thank you.” you replied with haste, just wanting this to be over. 
“I’ve got something scheduled at 5 today. You can come then if you really don’t want to see me.” 
You can hear the pout over the text message without any hint of it present in the text. This instinctually sparks sadness in you. Biting the inside of your lip and type out a few replies before deciding to just drop it. A wave of the past just flashed in front of you, causing you to fall into loneliness, something you’d fought to keep at bay. 
Checking the clock and it’s already 3pm, you finish up what you’re doing in the living room and take a cold shower before setting out to the apartment one last time.
Stepping into the once familiar place, you are hit with the smell of vanilla and sandalwood. “That’s odd” thinking to yourself, wondering if she’s left a candle burning as you walk in, sliding your shoes off by the door. She always forgot to blow them out after lighting them or would fall asleep on the couch with one lit. 
You were right, but with an added twist, the candle was burning in the center of the coffee table flickering against the shadows in the room around you. The flame was blocked out by the shadow of someone on the couch in the dimly lit space. 
“I thought you had schedules.” sighing, irritate at being met with another moment of dishonesty.
“I just needed to talk to you…” she whispers, she had been crying. Hearing it in her voice and seeing it on her face as she turned her back to the candle, taking in your features like it was the first time she’d ever seen you. A  tinge of hope runs through her, your face must be showing sympathy.               
“I needed you to be faithful and that was too much for you so I don’t really want to do any conversing with you.” asserting that you’re completely vexed by her as you walk into the bedroom to gather the rest of the stuff you were taking with you. 
Following you closely, a habit you used to think was cute as she watches you pick up small knick knacks from your childhood, clothes, and some other important tokens left behind. Sorting through every drawer to make sure you got everything, wanting this to be the last time you’re in the once shared life.    
Almosting touching you with how close her proximity was, she wondered if you’d give her some of your time so she could plead for you to stay when you finally spoke up. 
“Can you stop hovering so I can do what I need to and leave?” 
“Can you just talk to me for a second?” Nayeon replied equally annoyed and choked up as she watched you tuck all she had left of you away. 
Turning around to face her, “Fine! What do you want?” 
You’ve never shown her such apathy, the emptiness that rings in your voice hollows her chest out as she takes a few steps forward, you are surprised by the sudden closeness when she leans in and kisses you roughly. 
You gasp which leaves an opening for her to slide her tongue into your mouth, the neediness pouring out of her drenches you with adrenaline and you slowly succumb to her as she bites your lower lip and tugs gently. The world stops.
Every ounce of love you ever felt for this person came slithering back into your mind for a split second, followed by anger as you remind yourself of the betrayal. 
You can’t believe she’s just throwing herself at you. Body reacting exactly how you would expect when your recent ex partner kisses you like this, the familiarity of her hands on your body sends jolts of comfort and excitement through you and you aren't strong enough to fight the primal urge. 
Trailing her hand up your back under your sweater while keeping you distracted with her mouth and sinking her nails into your shoulders, dragging them slowly down your back, causing you to lean into the kiss even more, moaning into her mouth as she smiles. 
Falling into the trap she was setting and you knew it. 
Hands slowly find their place on her waist, she kisses your jaw whispering sweet nothings into your skin. 
“Baby, please stay” she lays another kiss farther down your jaw
“I know you missed this” laying another kiss
“You are always so hungry for me…show me”
She ghosts her lips up and returns to yours as she kisses you passionately, revealing pure lust as she grips onto you. Bringing your hands up to cup her face, allowing yourself to get lost in the breathy haze, heart pounding as you feel your body temperature rise, effects of the love that once was and the lust that now is. 
Spiraling in the dizzying moment,you and Nayeon sink into each other, closeness returning as you’re swept away by the intense feelings you’re both harboring. Hands are exploring as you fumble around, not allowing space between you as you both collapse onto the bed, hungirly taking each other in as you gain control, Nayeon is lost in the essence of you and it was your turn to hold the power.  
In addition to getting on top of her, you place your knee between her legs- just enough out of reach so that she couldn’t get a good position on it. You were going to give her this moment to remember and you were going to make her earn it.
The heat emanates off her as you rip off your sweater tossing it aside. She’s looking up at you like you put the moon in the sky as you reach your arm around and unhook your bra, letting the straps slide down your arms slowly, her eyes wide with anticipation as you remove it, throwing it on top of the sweater. 
Nayeon’s hands reach up, eyes darkened as she tries to touch you when you slam her hands back down into the softness of the sheets, pinning her to the mattress forcefully above her head, glaring into her with white hot anger.  
“No,” as you hold her in place, your body pressed against hers, faces close enough to feel each other's quickened breath. Nayeon sees the flash of spite in your eyes as you press your mouth on hers, it makes her ache while she is refracting desperation, subtly grinding on your thigh as she lets your tongue dance with hers.
Pulling back from the kiss to admire the sight before you; Nayeon is anchored to the bed by your hands, whimpering and grinding on your leg practically begging for you to fuck her. 
Faces return close enough for your lips to lightly graze, teasing her as you remind her where you stand, “Tell me… does Jihyo excite you like this or is this only for me?” with a sultry nuance. She squirms underneath you as you taunt her, her eyes flickering down to your thigh as she tries to grind into you to get some friction to satiate the ache you’re creating within her, only for you to pull your knee back just enough so she can’t reach it. 
 She whines “y/n…please, it’s only yo-” getting up before getting the full answer and dragging her legs to the edge of the bed letting them bend over the edge, pulling her shirt off frantically, exposing her tits. 
 The knot in her stomach tightens as she watches you become completely carnal, continuing toying with her. Lightly tracing her chest with your finger before you kissed her again, this time more aggressively as if you are claiming what had been yours. She groaned into it, always loving when you got like this, you’re ghosting your finger along the waistband of her sweats as you pull back from the kiss again and attacking her neck leaving a trail of dark marks down to her chest. 
“She’ll have to admire my artwork for the next week and I hope she enjoys it” leaving bite marks and bruises as you descend down slowly.
You take one of her nipples into your mouth and swirl your tongue around it, you can hear her breathing hitch as you roughly pinch the other one. Without letting go of her bud between your fingers you detach your mouth and slide your other hand up to Nayeon’s throat, lightly squeeze and ask “Does Jihyo fuck you like the slut you are? Or does she leave you for me to ruin?” 
Nayeon let out a wail as the words cascaded off your tongue, completely bewildered at what is happening right now as she feels the intoxication of your agitated demeanor wash over her while she grows impatient. Pushing back and trying to take the power from you when you mimic your prior movements and slam her down on the bed, letting her know that wasn’t going to happen.
“Don't. Move.” Stoically said while standing up, sliding her pants and underwear off to reveal a string of arousal clinging to the fabric and the soaked mess that she was. She was already clenching around nothing. 
“Pathetic.” You smirk. 
“Does she ever make you this wet?” as you part her lips with one hand, gathering her arousal at her entrance with your finger, and slowly bring it up to your mouth, sucking it clean. She rolls her hips up at the sensation, body screaming for more. 
“I told you not to move.”
Nayeon whines loudly, “Please, Y/n…touch me” begging for some continuous form of contact and being sure not to move while your stand above her watching as tears well up in her eyes. 
“...so needy… does she make you beg for it like this?” the words daunting as they snake out. 
“You’re so good at lying, I’m sure she thinks you belong to her.” 
“What was it that you said earlier?” following up slyly while lowering yourself between her legs, knees on the floor and arms are wrapped around her thighs, with hands planted on her hips keeping them in place. 
“You’re always so hungry for me…” breathing out as you traces patterns on her lower stomach and bring your face closer to her pussy, 
“…show me” she sighs out as you dive down into her folds, moaning intensely as you tangle yourself between her legs. She feels you devouring her sloppily, not leaving a single place unexplored as she tries to buck her hips into your mouth.
Nayeon is seeing stars as past experiences flood back into memory, senses heightened as you consume her more possessively than usual. She loves this version of you. 
Hands holding onto her so tightly as you start sucking on her clit, she squirms under your grip, squealing at the erratic pattern traced with the tip of your tongue before giving her the rhythm she craved so desperately. 
Nayeon’s breathing gets heavier as you stick to the pace you know she likes, building her up to where you wanted her. The moaning gets louder as you continue lapping at her, hands go up to your hair, locking you in place as you bring her as close to the edge as possible. 
Hearing her high pitched whines and feeling her pussy clench around nothing, completely stopping everything that you are doing.  
“Wha?!-..” she let out a groan that could’ve shattered windows as you stood before her, watching her react to the orgasm being ruined. 
“Why would you do that?!” she groaned out, squeezing her legs together again. You lightly smack her thigh, telling her without words not to. The slap radiates through the room and leaves a small red hand print displayed. 
Enjoying the blissful anguish on her face as you licked the evidence right off your mouth while removing your pants and underwear. Getting on the bed, straddling her, wetness visible as it drips off of you, she looked up at you with wanting eyes, hips still rutting, and knowing exactly where this was going.
“Did you really think I’d give you what you wanted so easily?” you start scooting up so that your knees are on either side of her head, a mere inch from her face.
“You’ll have to earn it.” Leaning forward and head between your legs, tongue out already anticipating the taste of you. 
A gasp echoes in your chest as she licks the inside of your thighs, making sure not to waste a drop of you before taking one big slow lick up your slit, doing that several times, causing you to thrust into her more before attaching her lips to your clit and finding the rhythm she knew you wanted. 
Drowning in her all over again as you feel the knot in your stomach stir, you need more from her but she wasn’t going to give you that right away.
“Naye- ..fuck, just like that -on” you whine her name, slowly start to fuck her face. 
“More.”  Demanding breathlessly, feeling your release building throughout your body, muscles tightening as she shakes her head no, trying not to remove her mouth from you.
“Nay-“  a guttural moan stops you mid sentence, knowing what she wanted from you. 
“Baby…please, I need you” pleasure all consuming, you’re aching for her inside of you.
Before you can ask again, a long finger slides into your core and starts pumping forward to hit your g-spot a few times before adding another finger. 
Another loud moan, as you steadily rock your hips against her mouth, building on the list you were already feeling. Close to breaking, you feel one of her hands slide up to your chest and start tugging on your nipple, that’s what sends you over the edge. 
Throwing your head back as your breath quickens, grinding against her face, with a death grip on her hair. Shaking on top of her as your orgasm rips through you, she keeps going, letting you ride it out. 
“Good girl,” you say breathly as you scoot back to straddle her hips again, body feeling like static as you come down. 
Catching your breath while looking at her cum covered face, you know you aren’t finished with her just yet. Leaning up to you, wrapping her arms around you and kissing you. Tasting yourself on her as you pull her arms off of you.
“I missed the way you taste.” she cooed as you stood up again, half wobbling as you were still recovering. 
“Didn’t I say not to move?” sternly rolls off your tongue, her eyes widen as you push her back down roughly and spit directly onto her pussy. Not that you needed the extra lube, you spread it around her entrance before slamming 2 fingers into her.
“Fuck, Y/n…” she moans as you pump your fingers quickly into her, feeling how wet she is from the orgasm you stole. She thrusts harshly, forcing your digits deeper into her.
“You don’t cum until I say you can.” growled at her from between her legs - peering up to see her face, eyes clamped shut as she leaked out onto the sheets - impatiently waiting for you to stimulate her in some way. 
You can’t help but torture her a little. 
“Does Jihyo make you wet like this? Or is she a shit replacement fuck when I’m not around”
She doesn’t even hear what you’re saying while she’s writhing underneath you, completely fucked out and trying to focus on not cumming while you’re toying with her. Your mouth finds its way to her clit causing a frantic moan to rip through her chest, hands pulling at the sheets as she holds everything back.
“Ca- can I cum please?” She screeches between moans, nodding your head back to her while keeping the same circular motions going with your tongue on her clit, picking up the pace of the fingers inside her as she screams out - back arching, body tense, and clenching down on your fingers as she cums, gushing all over your hand. 
Trying to take a breath, she squeals because you never stop fucking her at a relentless pace; she’s immediately back to moaning your name. 
“Baby, What are yo-” words cut off as she loudly moans, giving her a second to try and finish the sentence. 
“Use your words” as you pick up the pace even more, holding her down onto the mattress with your left hand on her hip, pounding your fingers into her. 
Unable to speak coherently, almost screaming as she tries to formulate sentences. 
“You wanted to cum so bad, so give me another one.” Answering the question she couldn’t ask while snapping into her g-spot, bending down to put your lips on hers again, giving her a taste of herself as she moans into your mouth, unable to hold back from the feeling of being over-stimulated. 
She feels the tension inside her forming again, threatening to burst at any moment when you lean over to ghost your lips over her ear. 
“I bet Jihyo doesn’t make you cum like this.” Violent combustion dispels from her body as she tenses underneath you, screaming into your mouth and sinking her claws into your back while riding out her orgasm.
Both of you lay on the bed, attempting to catch your breath. She rolls over to you, and tries to curl up in your arms but you get up before she can get too comfortable.
“Baby, where are you going? Sleepily stated while staying on the bed.  
Silence as you put your underwear back on.
“Hello?” 
Silence as you slide your pants on 
“…are you leaving?” She says in a sad tone, leaning up on her elbows, watching you put your shirt on and gather all the stuff you came to get. 
“Yup.” 
She is in complete disbelief as you walk out of the bedroom door, hearing you put your shoes on in the kitchen and then hearing the door open. 
“What the fuck are you doing here?…what is that on your neck?” heard from the kitchen. Nayeon’s eyes widen as she realizes the time and the plans she made…with Jihyo. 
“I don’t really think she will be much use to you tonight but you’re more than welcome to try.” You say condescendingly to Jihyo as she stares at you about to walk out. 
“Oh, by the way” , turning your head to her as you open the door.
“I hope you like the way I taste. Enjoy.” smiling at her as you walk right out of the apartment. She stares at the front door in disbelief as she’s figuring out her next move, now in a similar position to where you were.
“Nayeon!” screamed loud enough for you to hear while you’re walking toward the elevator. Not even being able to help the smirk across your face knowing she’s about to get an earful. Laughing to yourself as you call the elevator.
-
Starting the ride home, you think about exactly what just happened. Unable to believe you allowed yourself to fuck Nayeon and act like that towards Jihyo. Thinking about it not with regret, but with a blend of malice and sadness. They were both important to you, previously but that’s reality anymore.
Looking into the rearview mirror at the complex behind you, almost a far-well glance for you as your phone vibrates in your pocket. 
Pulling it out to see Jihyo’s name across the top and hit the end button, sending her straight to voicemail. She calls again, same response. The third time your phone vibrates, you answer it 
“Can you stop calling me? I obviously don't want to talk to you.” sounding heavily annoyed. 
“…Y/n?” A familiar softness rings on the other line as you look at the phone number that isn’t saved.
“Oh…uhm, sorry…I thought this was Jihyo. I don’t have this number saved in my phone…”
“That’s alright” a small chuckle follows, “It’s Mina.”
"Mina?"
---
Thank you for reading! :) Part 5 at some point!
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k-n0-x · 2 days
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༺ ♱✮♱ ¨:·Something Stupid-Chapter 4·:¨ ♱✮♱ ༻
A/N: Hey guys! I managed to get this chapter out early coz I am so hot and amazing at everything my social life is at an all time low and we have Easter break. Some foreshadowing if you guys can guess, but keep it to yourselves for now. Mommy issues y/n? That’s a first 😨😨😨😨. This chapter is also Lucifer basically being: “No, you’re so sexy haha don’t cry”
Also, the slow burn is burning now! YAYYA 🎉
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Enjoy! <3
꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🦢♕✶💫☾🥀꧂
You sit on the patio of your home, feeling as though you’re rotting away. 
It’s been 5 days since Adam’s full blown out tantrum, but it feels like it’s been 5 lifetimes. 
A cockatiel lands on your table, its bulging inky eyes staring at you, vying for your attention. 
You laugh, and give it some crumbs of your leftover toast from breakfast that you couldn’t bear to finish.
The bird eats them graciously, and flies away, you watching enviously. 
Oh, how you wished you were that bird. Carefree, and not trapped in the gilded cage that you are in. 
If only… 
Bzz bzz
Your phone rings. The contact Mom glows on your screen. 
Unwillingly, you swipe right. 
“Hey mom, what's up?” This woman never calls you, unless there are three instances; she needs you to get her something of monetary worth, wishing you a happy birthday/any other significant holiday, or-
“Darling, there's something I need to talk to you about. A little birdie told me that you've been stepping out of line recently~” 
Ah yes. The third instance. The times when your actual fucking personality shows, even for a sliver of a moment, and how it  could potentially hurt your ‘relationship’ with Adam. 
“Mom, it's not that big of a deal. I just was feeling rough recently, and-”
“Well it doesn't matter what you feel does it? What matters is that you honour our family. Being married to Adam is what's best for you. You acting outwardly is seriously jeaprodising your relationship, and I am just trying to help you stop before it's too late,” Your maternal figure’s sing-song-like voice turns sharp in an instant, like it could cut through butter. 
“You were always a wild child, a disappointment, I am trying to help you-”
You interrupt. 
“How are you helping?! Belittling me, treating me as some sort of– some do Ill?! I have tried, given my whole entire fucking life, trying to please you in every way, but somehow, it's never enough! And when I do fuck up, suddenly I'm a failure in your eyes?!” 
Silence.
“You better mind your language young lady,”
“NO! I will NOT mind my FUCKING LANGUAGE. I will  swear when I want to, and I will do whatever I FUCKING WANT! I AM DONE WITH YOU AND YOU- YOUR WAY OF THINGS!” 
You press the end button, calmly. 
You storm up to your bedroom and closed the door. Calmly.
You look at the bookshelf, always so perfectly clean, scarce of dust. 
Perfectly clean, no imperfections. 
You let out a cry of irritation and just start throwing out books, ripping the pages of each, crumpling sheets of paper, sobbing hot angry tears while doing so. 
When that was done, you just bring the entire bookshelf down with a bang, and you stomp on it until you feel a sharp pain in your foot, surely that's a splinter right there. 
You stumble over into your bed and scream and cry in your pillow, amongst the mess.
You submerge yourself in your pillow even more, until your anger numbs away, leaving you with a throbbing pain in your head. 
Absolutely drained from your outburst, you drift off. 
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
Everywhere is foggy. 
You look around, looking for anything of use, when your attention is turned to a glowing light, placed on a rusted pedestal. 
Since it's the only thing that piques interest, you touch the fluorescent ball and yelp when it scorches your hand.
“Ow,” you pull your hand away and decide to look for anything else. 
As you trek through the nothingness, you  feel like you're being tugged down by an anchor, or treading through quicksand. 
Suddenly, the ground gives way under your feet. 
You’re falling. 
The cold air whistles through your ears. 
You try to fly with your wings, but nothing; it feels like they have been ruthlessly ripped from your body.
You feel as though you're being stretched, squished and deformed like play dough, until you hear and feel something cracking. As you fall, you look towards the light. 
At the entrance of the hole, there are many, unidentifiable figures, just, staring at your downfall. 
You want to scream and cry for help, but it feels like your mouth has been cemented shut. 
A faint noise calls your name, which sounds closer and closer each time as you fall helplessly. 
You make a successful-ish attempt to turn on your stomach. 
In your horror, you see a halo, cracked and muted of its previous glow. Your halo.
Not that far below you, there are hot red coals. 
Oh God. 
The voice becomes louder and closer and you hit the ground with a scream. 
You jump up, to find yourself back in the dump that is your bedroom, slicked with sweat. 
“Oh my God, Y/N! Are you alright?” Emily, who was tentatively paving the way to get to your pathetic self. 
“Emi, hi… Yeah, just eh, rough day,” you smile weakly at the Seraphim, who’s concerned expression shows that she doesn't believe you, but she doesn’t want to put you under pressure.
“What’s all of this?” Emily motions to the wrecked room.  
“Adam pulled a tantrum again?” 
“Huh? Oh that, nono, sorry uhm,” you pause to clean the room as it was with the snap of your fingers.
“Why are you here Emi? Do you need something?” You wipe your eyes, but your bloodshot eyes are still apparent. 
“No, I just wanted to hang out with you, but I can come back if it's a bad time,” The Seraphim stumbles over her words as she looks up at you, slightly flushing.
“No, no you can stay. I’m just a little bit shaken up, but yep you can stay. Uhm….” you trail off. 
This place is feels really constraining
You need an escape. 
“Hey Emily, wanna go on an adventure?” You put on a face of newfound enthusiasm. The Seraphim just had that effect on people.
“Of course! But er, where?” 
“Shh, it's a surprise, now let's go!” You push Emily into the portal you made and go in yourself. 
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“Woah, this is what it's like?” Emily says as she looks around the hellish landscape like a lost puppy.
She snaps out of it when you drag her out of the way of a thrown carcass headed towards the both of you. 
“Yeah, let's head inside,” You manoeuvre her into the hotel. 
The lobby is more populated than your last visits to the establishment, though all faces are familiar. 
“Emily, meet Angel, Husk Alastor, Charlie, who you know already, and-” Your voice dies down in your throat at the sight of the Demon King, with his strapping jacket and top hat. 
What is going on with you today? 
“And Lucifer,” You motion to the King, who gives you both an acknowledging nod. 
Your heart misses a beat. 
“Well uh, there's one more but I don't know where she is… WOAH NIFFTY!”
The little scamp runs towards the Seraphim with a knife about to stab her with malicious intent. 
“Niffty, no. No stabbing any more angels we talked about this,” Angel grabs the knife from the housemaid and throws it in the trash can. 
“Ugh, not a bad boy,” Nifty grumbles and begrudgingly rushes off to god knows where. 
“Well everyone, this is Emily, not sure if Charlie has told you about her but-”
“Is she your kid?” Angel asks. 
“I’m sorry, what? Oh no, no she is not my kid pff,” you say. 
“Huh,”
“Well as I was trying to say, Emily here is another person on our side,” You give Emi an encouraging squeeze of the shoulders. 
“Well this is quite the improvement. Salutations! Pleasure to meet you,” The radio demon greets himself, extending his hand to shake Emily's. 
She takes it, though cautious. 
She turns to Charlie and warms up to the amicable face. 
“Hi, Emily, er obviously you know who I am,” The princess of Hell welcomes her, as some of the other Hotel residents go off doing their own thing. 
“Oh yes. Y/N told me about you, obviously we've met before, but under less casual circumstances,” Emily scrambles for conversation. 
Obviously, they need a little push to loosen up with each other. 
“Charlie, maybe show Emily the garden? Or maybe the entire hotel for that matter. Emi here has been dying to have a look around,” 
“Oh yes! Let me show you some of the suites, I decorated them myself,” Filled with giddiness, Charlie beckons the Seraphim upstairs.  
Emily turns to you, unsure. 
“Go on, don't worry, I'll be waiting here!” You give her a persuasive smile and shoo the pair upstairs. 
Now you had some time to kill…
“Hey!” 
“Agh!” You jump at the voice of Lucifer. 
“Geez, am I that scary?” He laughs and puts a hand on your shoulder. 
“Pff as if-” You snicker and give him a playful shove back.
“Anyway, how've you been? How's the old rusted machine been?”
“Are you always going to make digs and remarks at my husband in an attempt to get all three of his wives in your pants?” You raise an eyebrow sarcastically.
He sighs, feigning sorrow. “You know me too well. I thought it was the perfect plan, but clearly I'll have to tune it a bit,” The demon rattles on, but your brain fixates on the one word he said. 
Perfect. 
Something you try so, so hard to be, but apparently isn't enough for your mom. 
If your mom doesn't love you as you are. 
Well, what's to say anyone can? 
“Well, what do you say, Butter-Duck? You have to find a nickname for me, but I'll call you that regardless, hmm?”
His question brings you back to the conversation. 
Which, leads you to ugly, fat tears. 
Lucifer’s face contorts into panic. 
“Wait, I'm sorry, it's was a rubbish nickname, sorry I thought it was funny-” He puts a comforting hand on your shoulder. 
“No, no it's not that,” You rub your eyes, your voice croaky. 
“The reason is quite silly, really, it's fine, I'm just being stupid hahha,”
Lucifer is not convinced. 
“Listen, you helped me out the other day, and even though I'm not good at this comforting stuff, please, at least let me listen,” He gives you a weak, gorgeous smile, one that is enough to make you stop crying about. 
Okay, it's really becoming an issue of you being distracted by…
Him.
“Well, just an argument with my mom; basically just her saying how much of a disappointment I am and-” your voice creaks.
“And?”
“And I suddenly just don’t feel like her daughter,just a burden she has to put up with, and then what’s the point of all of this if you're not perfect,” 
And breathe. 
You put your face in your hands. 
“I’ll never find love,” 
“Hang on, but isn't Adam your husband? Don't you love him?” 
“No, I don't. It was a marriage purely organised by my parents. Completely transactional,” you mutter dejectedly. 
“Shit, that really sucks. Listen, I know it's hard to hear, but you need to hear it. Nobody is perfect. No one. That's what makes people interesting. And your mom wanting you to be that is far from perfect of her. Not sure if you're aware, but we're in Hell, right now, amongst many people who are basically morality rejects. But you, you're a Winner. Not in the physical sense, but also metaphorically. And for what it's worth…” Lucifer takes a moment to mull over his next words. 
“Many people love you, like Charlie and, that Seraphim, Emilia?”
“Emily” You amend. 
“Anyway, that's besides the point. The point is that you have many people that adore you, and that's what matters most,” Lucifer comes closer and stiffly puts his arms around you, which you return. 
“Thank you, Lucifer,” You sniffle into his shoulder. 
“No problem, anytime. You are my friend after all,” He gently smiles.
Your heart flutters. Friend? As in, person he considers more than an acquaintance? 
“So, what's this about a Butter-Duck?” You tease. 
“What? I thought it'd be a cool nickname for you,” He huffs. 
“Alright, alright… Let me think of a nickname for you then… Lulu!” 
He grimaces. “Ugh, that sounds like a name for a baby products brand!”
“Oddly specific, but if it annoys you more, all the better!” 
“Ugh, you're like worst than some sinners here I swear,” 
“Who said Angel’s can't be jokesters too?” You give him a wink. 
He coughs, a rosy red complexion appearing on his face.
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
Emily and Charlie come back into the lobby, to you and Lucifer making small talk on the couch. 
“Ready to go?”
 Emily nods. She goes to hugs Charlie, which is reciprocated. 
“Well, I’ll see you around?” You squeeze the demon’s king hand. 
He looks at you, and nods, hesitant to return the gesture, as if you were glass. 
“Yes, I will,” 
As you and Emily leave to make your way back to Heaven, you could've sworn you heard Lucifer whisper three words. 
“I love you,” 
You turn back with a questioning expression, but all that was on his face was nonchalance.
꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🐣♕✶💫☾🥀꧂
Word count- 2,194~
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stratusjay · 22 hours
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Papel Pintado Part 2
Finally I didn’t go to Canada nor Russia, maybe another time. I was at the airport waiting for my plane to be called, I am a bit anxious about coming home, I want to think that I am over it but I don’t think you can ever put it past you. We lost a possibility, a beautiful possibility and it still feels unfair. I am not ready for another journey but this one needs to end, I feel it. It's not the first death I need to get over from, with my job I see a lot and sometimes the losses hurt deeper than others but we have to keep going or we might be one of them. And I have someone I need to get back to, I don’t want Alexia to deal with more death than she already has.
The flight back to Barcelona was a bit long, Alba came to the airport to bring me home. We talked about New Zealand and her sister, how she was dealing with the grief. Ale is doing better apparently, she also has always been really good at hiding her true feelings. Alba finds it as unnerving as me which says a lot in my opinion because it makes me want to scream and tear my hair off. She left me at mine and Alexia’s and told me she would come get me the next day for the match so we would go together. 
The house has dust everywhere, so if I want to feel at home again I need to clean or I’ll go crazy. After 4 hours of dusting, sweeping and mopping the house finally looks like a house again, we can finally see the faces in the picture, the tv reappeared and the couch got back its original color. Now it’s time to do the dreaded part, the nursery. I take the clench in hand, stop and breathe out before going in. The nursery might actually have more dust than the rest of the house had, except for that it’s like nothing has changed. I advance in the room toward the bassinet when I am halfway across the room I feel something crunching under my foot. It’s a frame, Estela’s last echography picture, she was sucking on her thumb just a tiny little thing. That had never had the chance to live. My eyes burn and my throat hurts, I pick up the frame and swallow back my tears. The glass is broken, it needs a new frame. I'll get another one tomorrow. Let’s get to work. Tearing down the paper from the wall is surprisingly cathartic, the repetitive motion and the noise from the tearing are relaxing. The anger, the sadness, the frustration everything goes in that motion of tearing it apart. When I finish the room every emotion that had built up since I came back in the house, are gone. I feel empty but in a freeing kind of way. Now I need to clean up the mess I just did and go to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day, I am repainting the room all white this time and then it’s game day!
At the first light of the day, I am already awake, I see the sun picking shyly from the horizon. I watch it rise from the balcony, coffee in hand waiting for the shops to open to go get the paint. At ten in the morning the first layer of paint is done and I have to wait for it to dry. I set a timer and began preparing the redesigning of the house. I draw every room, and replace the furniture where I want them to be now. Then, I get to work, obviously I can’t really change the kitchen, but the living room, which is also the dining room, sees the tv moving, the dining table turning and the sofa exchanging places with the console under the window. I am planning to turn that into a sofa window seat. When I am done with the living space, I get back to the painting in the nursery. 
-Holi! Qué ?! Y/N Qué pasa ? Where are you ?
-Alba? 
Alba steps into the nursery with a frown etched on her face.
-The furniture did you dirty ?
-Ha! ha! No, I was tired of the vibe, so I changed it. Everything is perfectible. What hour it is ? Do we need to go ?
-Technically we are already late, I sent you a message but since you were moving everything you obviously didn’t hear me. Now go change.I looked back at the paint on the wall unfinished. Y/N put the brush down and go change. You can’t go out looking like this.
-I don’t see why not, I do it all the time. I just want to finish this portion of the wall.
Alba’s eyes widened at my word and she looked positively horrified.
-Go. Change. A bit of silence. “Now!”
-Alexia really let you go outside looking like that, you had paints everywhere even in your hair!
-Well, yeah. I mean every time I begin doing handywork around the house, she likes to pretend she has the ability to disappear, I smile at the end. Alexia La maga they should call her not La Reina, she transforms in Houdini everytime I pick up a screw.
-haha! That is so her, Ale hates everything that has to do with tinkering. Half the time she has no idea what’s going on. 
After a good laugh at Alexia’s expense we arrive at the Estadi. We join our seats, Eli is here already and it’s always a pleasure to see her. That woman is a force to be reckoned with, she amazes me. Really when I grow up I want to be like her. I hope I’ll be just half as good of a mother as she is; she raised two amazing women, well Alexia definitely is, Alba sometimes you could ask yourself some questions. She is weird, nice but weird.
Barcelona is winning obviously, Alexia is on the field but she doesn’t seem to be completely in the game she isn’t playing like usual. When the half-time whistle rings, both teams make their way to the locker rooms. Finally I look around where we are seated. I never spent a lot of time in the family and friend section before, I haven’t been to a whole lot of matches before I watched them from afar where I had been deployed. Just in front of us is the Barcelona section where the injured players are located. I recognize Fridolina Rolfö and just on the seat in front is none other than Alexia’s best-friend, Mapi. She turns around and looks at Alba then at me.
-What took you so long, Soldier ?
-Technically it’s Major. But to answer your question, Alba was late not that I realized, I shut down Alba before she could object, “I was doing some home painting.”
-What did you redo in your frenzy today ? ask Eli jokingly, it happens frome time to time not that often come on.
-The living room and rearranged a bit the dining space, oh and I plan to construct a window seat where the console was before. Eli is full on grinning now.
-Alexia is gonna go crazy again. She hates when you move everything.
-I already hear swearing from here, smirks Alba, she is gonna stub her toes everywhere and she is gonna send you to hell every time.
Fridolina who was silent the whole time but listening turned to me and reached her hand to me.
-Holà! I am Frido, I suppose that you are Alexia’s mystery girlfriend ? I heard you were in New Zealand taking some time for yourself.
-That’s me, nice to meet you. I needed to get home, I was missing her. I smile, that woman looks genuinely nice.
 We talk a bit more, waiting for the match to begin again.
When the players from both teams get on the field again, I see Ingrid who is Mapi’s girlfriend if I remember well talking with Alexia while lightly jogging to get back on position Ingrid turns around while jogging looking at the family section, Alexia turns around toward the family section a teasing grin on her face likely preparing a witty remark, like a magnet her eyes fall directly on me and a huge smile breaks her face. She nods her head and turns back to the field forgetting to tease Ingrid. I nod back behind her back, it’s a thing don’t ask me why, when I come to see a game she always does that. I like to take it as an acknowledgement of my presence but since we never talked about it, it could be something else entirely, maybe for her it’s a promise to me and herself. So many possibilities for just a little nod.
Alexia is subbed off at the eightieth minute, she looks frustrated with herself, the team is winning but she hasn’t been left unmarked the whole game and she didn’t like when she didn’t feel useful during a game.
I clap all the same, most of the time if the team wins, the feeling goes away all one it’s one and my knowledge over football stops at knowing the basic rules and understanding some of the strategic moves, because of military strategies. Barcelona 4- the other team that I forgot the name of 1.
-Y/N, I look at Mapi, we would like for you to come for team bonding next week it’s gonna be at Paredes. The team would be happy to finally meet. We all heard of you and the youngsters would be really happy. You don’t have to obviously. Says Mapi nervously, Frido looks at me from the corner of her eyes
- When is it ? I interrupted her.
- Thursday night. It’s not the day of my military evaluation, so I shouldn’t be too tired. And overall, I wanna meet Alexia’s teammates.
-I’ll be there. See you Thursday Mapi, Fridolina.
I followed Eli and Alba who had already bid their goodbye. Alexia was gonna be here a bit longer and Alba had a date with her girlfriend.
-Eli, do you have something planned tonight ?
-No, Y/N and it’s really nice of you but it’s been two weeks you haven’t seen Alexia so no I am not going to take dinner at yours and Alexia’s. But I expect to see you tomorrow.
-Obviously we will be there it’s family day. See you tomorrow Eli, Alba you are driving me back or should I take the subway ? I sass the girl who is grinning at her phone.
-I am not that tight in time. I'll drive you back, see you tomorrow Mamà. Stop smiling like that you look like the Joker. Really sometimes I wonder how you support Alexia well now is not one of those times.
-Well that’s easy, lot and lot ofhummpph Alba slaps her hand on my mouth and glare at me. 
-Come on it was easy, you put it on a silver platter. Okay I’ll stop teasing you, talk to me about your date. Genuinely wanting to know. I let her talk about her obvious crush on the girl till she drops me off at home. Now I know way too much about a certain Judith, and how good her lips, hair and even her beauty marks look. Never put Alba on her crush subject if you don’t have a planned exit.
Finally at home the first thing I do is change back to my paint clothes and finish the wall I couldn’t earlier. I won’t need another to put a third layer by the look of it. Now it’s time to cook before Alexia arrives. Tonight the menu is a sweet potato, carrots and coconut milk soup, with some raviolis on the side, and Alexia likes to have a bit of charcutería, I personally don’t eat meat but I never had a problem cooking it, during the pregnancy however I hate meat, after a night where I basically ate all the charcutería’s board, Alexia brought more every week so I would stop stealing her part. After preparing Alexia’s charcutería the vegetables were finally cooked in the water and I began mixing.
-Holà, mi amor. With the noise of the mixer I didn’t hear Alexia enter the house. She joined me in the kitchen and hugged me from behind, and whispered directly into my ear the greeting I didn’t hear from the doorway. “Did you rearrange everything again ?”
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bethelighthalazia · 15 hours
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Butterfly kisses
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Summary:  While comforting Yeosang about his insecurity about his birthmark, you tell him something that your grandmother once taught you.
Pairing: bf!Yeosang x fem!idol!reader
Word Count:  909 words
Warnings: Cuteness overload, talking about insecurities
[AN: I hope you guys like it! it had been a thought while watching some videos of ATEEZ and I just had to write it out <3 RE-UPLOAD from my old blog @/justsomedreaming]
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© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.
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The day had been tiring for both, you and your boyfriend Yeosang. You knew that his busy schedule would have him exhausted in the evening, since the boys had a fan meeting and a performance today. However, what you did not expect was to come home to an empty dorm room of your boyfriend after your dance practice at the company. “Yeo?” You called out for him after putting away your purse, only to stop next to the bathroom from where you heard quiet sniffles. “I- I am in here, hang on,” his voice answered, inside you were able to hear a rustle and the splashing of water, bringing a frown to your face. Your hand rested against the wooden door for a moment before you decided to give him a bit of space, walking over to the bed to get changed into more comfortable clothes for now, not removing your makeup yet. That's something you never did in front of your boyfriend or the others, but it didn't seem to bother any of them at all.
You didn't have to wait long for Yeosang to unlock and step out of the bathroom, walking straight to the bed to sit down on it. When you saw his bare face and the redness of his nose and eyes, you slowly walked over to sit next to him, taking his hand in yours to squeeze it gently. The two of you often just sit on the bed silently, just enjoying each other's company without needing to talk or anything. This evening, it felt different though, he seemed absent, on the brink of tears at any second. 
“Yeo…you know that you can talk to me, right?” You asked quietly, drawing a nod from him and when you moved to sit fully on the bed, legs crossed, he did the same, head hanging low and not looking up at you though. “I- the fanmeeting was horrible…” He whispered, your expression softening at those words. It's rare that Yeosang would say something like this, usually he enjoys talking to ATINY, but today, it seems that something had happened. “While performing, my makeup got messed up and revealed my birthmark…usually it's not bad, but the fans were all asking about it. Every question they had was about it and I just- it was too much today.” Taking both of his hands in his, you squeezed them gently, head tilted ever so slightly. You knew that this birthmark was something he was still a bit insecure about, even though he never said something. “Were they mean?” It was a simple question, one he could answer with yes or no, or if he wanted, explain and tell you. Yeosang opted for shaking his head no, which made you sigh in relief. At least his fans weren't mean or disrespectful to him.
"Good,” You said. “I will get you something to drink, okay? And then, we do whatever you want.” Squeezing his hands gently, you slowly got up to head to the kitchen real quick, letting the boys know that you and Yeosang want alone time and then you got a bottle of his favorite drink for each of you. Before heading back to him though, you stepped into the bathroom, using some of his make-up remover wipes to clean your own face from all the makeup, revealing your own birthmark, one that starts right below your lip and wanders down your neck, ending at your collarbone.
When stepping back into the room, you took in your former position, placing the bottle for him in his hands and when he lifted his head to thank you, his eyes widened. It's the first time he saw you bare faced, so he had no idea about your own birthmark. “You-” He started, but you cut him off with a gentle peck on his lips, smiling lovingly at your boyfriend. “When I was younger, the other kids would always make fun of me, laughing about my birthmark. But my halmeoni always dried my tears when it got to me too much and told me a story.” While you talk, he lifts his hand to let a finger brush over the darker mark on your chin, eyes sparkling with tears, but also curiosity in them. “She told me that the marking on my skin is something special, something unique, which only those people have who were kissed by a butterfly.” A smile appearing on your lips at the memory, your own hand now lifting to brush your fingers over his birthmark. “You are a wonderfully unique person too, Yeo. And I think, your butterfly kiss is beautiful.”
At your words, you saw some new tears appear in his eyes, but his face also lit up with a loving smile. Then, without a warning, he leaned forward to place a kiss on your birthmark before pecking your lips as well. This draws a giggle from you, you doing the same to him, first a kiss on his birthmark, then on his lips. 
“Thank you, jagiya. You always know how to make me feel special,” he whispered, taking your hands in his to pull you into a hug now which made both of you fall over and land on the pillows of his bed. He turned you, so you would face him, and kissed you again, tears still in his eyes. “And thank you for showing me your butterfly kiss, you are truly beautiful.”
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taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson
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Text
He's on his knees before his brain even finished registering the sound of glass shattering. The action was mindless for Ingo, in the same way that painstakingly picking at the glass shards from the cup that had slipped out of his hand before he could even finish taking it out of the cupboard was.
"Wh- Ingo!"
Even now, his fingers can't quite grasp at the cleaved rim rolling to a stop on the floor. They're numb, in a way that he thought only the cold could render them—the Icelands always snuck past all his layers to make their home in the marrow of his bones, no matter how much he resisted—but that couldn't possibly be, because this apartment on the outskirts of Nimbasa City was practically broiling.
Ingo's face does not betray his frustration nor his exhaustion, not even when his twin brings his foolishness to a halt with a firm grip of his wrist.
Emmet was distraught, clearly, if the pinch of his brows and the smile wiped clean off of his face were anything to go by. In one hand: Ingo's wrist, and the other: a broom and dustpan set. He had run to grab it as soon as the accident happened perhaps not expecting his brother to clean up the mess himself by hand.
No matter. Ingo reached for the cleaning instruments, but Emmet moved them further out of his reach, not saying a word.
"Let me clean it up," he huffed, attempting again to grab at least the handle of the broom. "It was my mistake."
Emmet shook his head, attempting to wrench it away from him—with no real backing to his, "No, Ingo. Let me do it."
When his mind was clearer, later, he'd understand that the poison that would lace his lips in a minute were born out of embarrassment—not malice. It simply seemed, from the last few months or perhaps originating all the way back to his return to his rightful time period, that Ingo was floundering to make heads or tails of the world he had once known. It was misstep after blunder after folly, and there was only so many dents to his pride and dignity that he could take before he snapped. And it was the breaking of a simple glass cup that provided exactly that last straw upon the Camerupts back.
As it were, he was not gifted with foresight or clarity in the wake of the accident, and so felt every bit the aggravation that bore from his mouth, "Do you think me so weak as to not clean up my own messes? I have lost my memories, not my strength! I don't need your assistance or pity!"
He hissed slightly at the sensation of something sharp poking against his skin, dropping a small sliver of glass that he had kept pressed against his palms. Ingo looked down quickly, grateful to see that it was only a superficial cut he gained that did not even summon droplets of beading blood. It was almost the shock he needed for feeling to return to his fingers, as he curled them and flexed them straight again.
A small tear drop joined the little glass fragments on the floor.
"Please."
A second joined the first, landing on the curve of the shattered remains.
He looked up, witnessing how Emmet had flattened his mouth into a firm line. Vaguely, Ingo could almost remember that he only did that when he was fighting against his own face in its desire to collapse under sobs—his twin never did like to cry openly.
But even though shame had burned away at his sensibilities, Ingo still waited for his brother to finish making a plea of, "Please do not be mean to my brother."
Instantly, like a house fire doused, Ingo looked away. He brushed his hands against his sweats—it felt so wrong to not wear dress pants after years of refusing any other option—and allowed himself the grace of standing up. He backed away, just a step, mindful for the first time since he watched mindlessly as though drunk goggles were tied against his skull, the stack of cups tilt out of his control.
His throat bobbed. Words were stuck at the crossing, and the most he could manage against the strained rebelling muscles of his throat was an acquiesce of, "I'll try."
"Thank you," Emmet closed his eyes, one last tear slipping past them. He moved closer, hesitant to lay a hand on Ingo's shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze. It lasted only a moment, which Ingo regretted most of all. "That is all I ask."
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chaoticbardlady99 · 3 days
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Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me
Spawn! Astarion x F! Ghost Reader
Chapter One: Music, Regrets, and Party Tricks
 Synopsis: (3 months post Netherbrain) You ask Astarion to take you to see a violinist in a park and end up having a heart to heart. You begin to have very peopley feelings towards Astarion. Someone from Astarion's past makes an unwelcome fourth appearance and you help Astarion get revenge.
CW: Mentions of SA (Astarion), violence, revenge, brief mentions of suicidal ideation, a tad bit fluffy
Note: The first couple chapters will have time skips because it is meant to set up the main plot- more chaos is on it's way!
Disclaimer- I put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. The ‘Tav’ is my Ghost inspired Durge 💜 I will not describe the readers body in detail- she is just merely on the banner for ✨drama✨. I believe the picture of Astarion is from @cheekylittlepupp . And then the symbol of Orcus in the back is a free image off the internet.
Prologue : Chapter 2: AO3
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You wait anxiously by the door as Astarion takes his sweet time bathing in the other room. You have both been staying in a room in Elfsong Tavern since the Netherbrain was defeated about 3 months ago.
  You and Astarion usually spend your days in Szarr palace looking for any information on Sunwalking. You’ve found lots of promising leads, but they are all very very far away- the first lead is in some mountain in Amn and you’re excited to see more of the world.
 Tonight is your last night in Baldur’s Gate for a while and you had overheard some tavern goers talking about a Violinist playing in the park tonight. You had felt your entire body perk up at the idea. 
 The only obstacle was getting Astarion to take you. 
  The man pretty much abandons you at nighttime- leaving you alone and lonely. He used to pet you to sleep every night, talk with you and laugh with his companions, and then he lost his ability to walk in the sun. 
 Recently Astarion has been falling into some habits that haven’t been great for his mental health. He’s usually picking you up for a hug after some terrible tryst he had and pretends to joke about the whole thing like it was just a bad fuck, but you knew better.
 You could see the regret in his eyes and the worthless feeling in his soul. It broke your heart to see him go from being on top of the world to rock bottom again. The one time you tried to talk about it with him- he disappeared for a day and you were sure he had abandoned you. 
  Astarion eventually came back and he had actually spent the entire day with you. It was in silence and with many tears, but eventually he told you that he had been pressured into having sex and he felt pathetic. You reassured him a thousand times he’s not and he began bringing them to your room instead so if they are a problem- you would be the solution. You have sent many people screaming out the door with claw marks across their scalps- you even lost a claw in someone’s head! 
 “I can defend myself, Darling,” Astarion said as he cleaned up the mess your broken claw left on your paw, “you don’t need to be my Cat in Shining Armor.” 
 “I know, but isn’t this just so much more entertaining for both of us?”
 Astarion smiled widely, “that is a very good point.” 
  He began spending more time with you at night, but there are still days where he falls into his old habits and is sucked in by his despair. 
 You are really hoping today isn’t one of those days because you really want to go listen to the Violinist. 
 You jolt to life when the door creaks open and Astarion walks out without a shirt while toweling off his hair. He freezes instantly when he sees you sitting there with wide eyes and limbs ready to pounce. 
 “Uh oh, what did I do now?” 
 “It’s about what you are going to do.” 
  Astarion raises an eyebrow at you and you jump up onto the empty desk next to the door so you feel slightly more equal and powerful in the situation.
 “I want to go to the park tonight,” you say, “there is going to be a violinist playing and I want to hear them.” 
 “Oh, so you just need me to leave the window open tonight?” 
  You blink a few times and try to fight the hurt that flits in your chest. Yes, you could go alone and just do that, but you were kind of hoping you could go together as friends and have a normal time together again like you used to. 
 “I was actually hoping you might come with me?” 
   Astarion looks at you like you’ve grown a third head.
 “It’s our last night in Baldur’s Gate and you want me to go with you to listen to a violinist in the park?” 
  His voice is on the border of amusement and irritation. Your heart cracks ever so slightly more. 
 “Yes,” you squeak.
  “That’s ridiculous, Darling,” Astarion says with a dismissive wave, “I would much rather spend my last night in Baldur’s Gate indulging in sinful activities- not some violin concert.” 
 You don’t know why you even try to push it.
 “It shouldn’t be all night,” you say quickly, “you could easil-“
 “No offense,” he interrupts you, “but I would rather spend my night with a person and not my cat.” 
  That shatters something so deep within you that you don’t even know what to do with yourself. You are possessing a cat, but you are still a person and your feelings matter to you. 
  You’ve been nothing but respectful of Astarion and his feelings. You’ve been there for him because that’s what friends do. Obviously- you aren’t his friend, you are just ‘his cat’.
 You aren’t his cat though. You would be able to survive just fine on your own- you will go back to gardening and befowling Donella’s home.
 “I am NOT YOUR CAT!” You scream at the top of your lungs- Astarion takes a step back in surprise, “I am a person! A person with feelings! I am a person first, ghost second, and then cat third! 
“And you know what!? Enjoy your sins and your adventure to find some stupid solution for the sun- I’m done!” 
 You bound out the window in two quick leaps and you can hear Astarion calling from the dark of the room. The fading sunlight warms your fur and is an unwelcome reminder of the wretched form you threw yourself into. You’ve really come to feel terrible for cats- everyone thinks they can just pick you up Willy Nilly or disrespect you as they please. A few children have learned the hard way that you are not to be fucked with.
  Your trek to the park is easy and you get there just in time. Couples stroll around the park and the violinist is tuning up his violin. The moment is so peaceful, but the excitement you had felt previously had disappeared. 
  A couple laughs and another gives each other a lingering kiss. Others are laughing with each other and holding hands. They all look ridiculously in love and so happy- it makes your body hurt and your stomach turn.
  You never had the opportunity to have a partner (which is a sore spot for you) and the moment the violinist strikes the first note of one of your favorite love songs- you find yourself miserably wandering to the only place you could think of, the Rothwell Crypt. 
 You slide through the grates with ease and you jump up onto your mother’s coffin with your head on your paws. Tears fall out of your eyes- a new quirk you didn’t know you could do. 
 You sniff the air tepidly and a choked sob escapes your mouth. Not a single trace of her perfume is around- not that you expected it to be, but you had so hoped. 
  She would have gone with you- cat, person, or ghost. She used to love taking you to see violinists in the park as a child and she would tell you grand love stories that you hoped to one day experience. 
 The worst part? Your mother is long gone. You are no longer the happy-go-lucky 10 year old with the spontaneous, enthusiastic mother who had a sense of adventure. She will never cheer you on at a street corner ever again and you will never smile brightly at her when she put a gold piece in your case- it always made others feel like they should do it too. Your life was happy and warm.
 Now? You are a ghost doomed to be trapped in this form until it dies and then what? Will you even be able to move on? You couldn’t last time so why would it be any different now? It all makes you so angry you could tear your fur out.
 You will never see a violinist with her again. You will never know what it means to truly love someone and to be loved in return. You will never be able to play the Violin again all because Donella thought you were ‘promising’.
  If you hadn’t died, would you have been one of those violinists in the park? Would your parents be there cheering you on? Would you have had full blooded siblings? Gotten married? Become famous? 
 The thoughts cause you to cry harder and you decide you are going to take control of your own fate for once- you will lay here until you eventually starve to death. That seems like a full proof solution. 
  You hear the gate to the crypt open, but you don’t bother to look. Whoever it is better put you out of your misery sooner rather than later. 
 “Gods below, you are much faster than I thought you were,” Astarion exclaims as he practically clammers down the stairs, “come on- that violinist of yours is still playing and - what’s wrong?” 
 “Go away,” you say weakly.
 “But your violinis-“
 “I don’t care anymore.” 
   You expect him to yell at you and to be angry, but instead he walks over and kneels down until he’s at eye level with you.
 “I’m sorry, Darling,” Astarion pleads, “you’re right- you are a per-“ 
 “No,” you choke, “I don’t want your apology. You’re right. I’m just a cat now. So please, leave me alone.” 
 “No.” 
  You finally take the opportunity to look at him and your own misery fades a little when you see his own tear stained face. You both just stare at each other like you so frequently do when you are at a verbal crossroads. 
  Astarion gets up and you expect him to leave, but instead, you are being swung up into his arms and marched out of the crypt. 
  You don’t bother to protest- what does it matter? You’re a lower class citizen in this social situation. Quite literally too- no one will open a bank account for a cat. You and Astarion tried one time and the banker looked like she was going to call the City Watch to detain a lunatic. 
  The last place you expected Astarion to take you was the park. He finds a bench as close to the violinist as he can and puts your defeated form down on the bench. Astarion begins to hesitantly pet you and you can’t help but lean in a bit- your sadness still a weight in your heart. 
 Astarion comments on the music and asks if you have ever played it before. At first your answers are plain and generic, but he somehow pulls the old part of you out from deep within your soul.
  You chatter about what you would do differently, why certain songs aren’t frequently played, etc, etc. and it actually seemed like Astarion was enjoying himself for once.
    The music floats through the air and your heart soars as you hear another song you were extremely familiar with- ‘Meleth’. It’s a slightly darker love song and not one that is popularly played in places where there are a multitude of settled down couples.
  The song itself is about the pining a man has for a woman who is out of his reach at every turn. She isn’t trying to elude him, but the circumstances are just never right. Then, one day, he gets the courage to tell her and she’s been in love with him the entire time as well. It ends with the two of them together- the notes brighter as they flit through the night air. 
  “I always liked that song,” Astarion says absentmindedly. 
 “It’s a pretty one,” you agree, “I wouldn’t personally play this song for the environment, but no one seems too perturbed.” 
  Astarion looks around and notices the couples all enjoying each other’s company. 
 “I guess I didn’t notice.”
 “Really?” You say in surprise, “it’s the first thing I noticed.” 
 “Is that why you didn’t stay?” 
  You freeze and you know for a fact your heart stopped momentarily.
  It’s a fair question to ask, but you try to avoid talking about… you. You will tell him you were just so disgusted by all the love in the air- a lie is better than the truth and he doesn’t need to worry about this. 
 Except, when you finally make eye contact with him, his eyes are soft and inviting. Astarion seems genuinely invested in what you have to say. The look is sweet and it causes a warm feeling to glow in your chest. Maybe it would be safe to divulge this information. 
 “It was,” you say with a sigh, “I dedicated basically my entire life to the violin. It’s insane- looking back on it now. 
“I died never knowing what it felt like to have my hand held or to be kissed. I didn’t even have the chance to fall in love because I didn’t bother to think about it! I was rarely pursued by anyone because I had my head in my music sheets and never made the time to talk to anyone outside of my parents. 
“All of that hard work was gone in less than two minutes and the last thing I remember thinking about was how devastated I was to lose my first consistent gig- as if that was the most important thing I was losing at the time. It’s- it’s dumb that I lost my future because Donella thought I was ‘promising’ and had some sick idea in her head that she would mentor me. Her and her ego- she just had to try to create a fucking vampire spawn with little to no knowledge on the topic. 
“She wanted to mentor young women and try to prove to the higher ups that women were just as capable as men- which is something I strongly believed in! I was all for destroying the patriarchy! Hells- I would have been happy to just have her as a mentor, she was very well known for being a woman of poise, but no! Turns out, Donella was a gods damn Vampire Lord. She wanted a spawn and instead she damned me to a horribly lonely and sad existence in that fucking PALACE! 
“I wish I had been a cat while she was still alive. I would absolutely piss on her head and destroy her curtains. I wonder if pee is considered running water- that would have been very entertaining.” 
 You leer at the tower standing tall in the distance. At least you can destroy the curtains and piss on her grave. Astarion is laughing at your last sentence, but his eyes also tell a different story. He looks sad for you- heartbroken even. 
  Neither one of you speaks for the rest of the violinist’s concert. You’ve watched Astarion’s gears crank away in his head for at least a good hour now and they are still going as the two of you head back to Elfsong Tavern. There is practically smoke pouring out of his ears by the time he sets you down on the bed and lays in his usual spot on the bed. 
  You want to ask him what he is thinking about, but you are also afraid to ask and have it be something dismissive so instead you curl up in your usual spot at the top right of the bed, up against the wall like you so adore. Your fluffy pillow is still waiting for you like it had been before you stomped off and you definitely note the closed windows. 
 “I’m sorry,” he finally says.
 “For?” 
 “For forgetting that you were also very much a prisoner there,” Astarion says quietly, “and for not treating you like my equal. I haven’t been a very good companion lately and I’ve…. Admittedly been trying to push you away. I suppose I didn’t realize how much I didn’t want that until you leaped out of the window- which by the way- you could have died so please just ask me to open the door if you intend on storming off next time, Darling.”
 You roll your eyes.
 “I landed on my paws!”
 “You seem to forget the several thousand other times where you have belly flopped into those rose bushes or onto the cobblestone,” Astarion says through narrowed eyes and pouty lips, “you were terrible to live with when your ribs were broken- you sounded like you were about to keel over at a moments notice.”
 “You seem awful hyperfixated on me dying,” you say slowly, “I’ve died before- it’s not like it’s that scary. Well it is, but I would be fine. I would just be… quieter!” 
  Astarion looks at you and his mouth drops into a frown while he shakes his head.
 “I need you,” Astarion says quietly, “more than I care to admit. I enjoy your company- you make me happy and I would even say you are my friend. I don’t want you to ‘just be in the background’ of my life ever again.”
  You’re stunned by his words and he is actively avoiding eye contact with you. He must have fed recently because a nice rosy blush crawls up his neck and paints his cheeks. 
  You’re grateful cats can’t blush because you would be a sputtering mess- you would get red as a tomato when you were embarrassed. 
 You’re his friend! You are really his friend! 
 “I need you too,” you say brightly, “I’m very little, terrible at hunting, and prone to injury, but I also very much enjoy your company too. I share the same sentiment, if that helps. I prefer being on the forefront of your life.” 
 Astarion looks both relieved and elated at the same time. He picks you up into a hug that you gladly sink into. This feels like three months ago and you silently curse your cat body for purring in delight.
  That warm feeling in your chest is back again and you can’t help but feel intoxicated by the way he smells, how beautiful he is, and how complex his mind is. You really do lov-
 Oh no. Those thoughts need to be put away- not that you would know anyway. Love? Naw. That’s impossible. Your heart can’t possibly be so stupid as to fall in love with a man who will only ever see you as his friend trapped in a cat. Your situation doesn’t necessarily scream romance.
  Except it does make sense because it does break your heart to know he’s off with other people and you will never be able to be one of those people. 
 Well, you’d prefer to be a lot more to him than those people, but that’s not in the cards for you. Being a cat is okay- you get all the love in the world from him, even if it’s not the love you would prefer. 
  You push the thought away and reground yourself by listening to the phantom heartbeat that rings through his chest. He must have fed very recently. 
   You remain there for a while until a loud knock on the door gets both of your attention. 
 “Astarion? Are you in there?” A woman with a high pitched, sickly sweet voice calls out, “are we still going to have a drink together?”
  You and Astarion both look at each other then back to the door. She knocks again and calls out louder. You blink at him a few times and he very awkwardly puts you down before giving you a, “Gods, help me please” face, motions for you to hide, and he opens the door. You turn invisible instead- you may need to commit some major inconveniences and you enjoy using the little bits of magic that are accessible to you. Being a cat with ghost powers is pretty freaking phenomenal if you do say so yourself. 
 “Astarion!” 
  The Tiefling woman is very very pretty, but something is off about her and you don’t like it. She smells wrong and from the way Astarion’s posture changes- it’s obvious that your suspicions are correct and something is off. 
“I apologize, um,” Astarion pauses. 
  By the Gods he doesn’t even remember her name. 
 “Morgana,” she says with a slightly annoyed tone,” it’s okay though, you can make it up to me by buying me a drink.” 
  Astarion agrees to this nonsense and follows her down to the bar. It makes you bristle- something really isn’t right so that must be why the door is cracked ever so slightly. 
  You quietly squeeze through the door and stay close to the wall as you watch Astarion and the mysterious woman walk down the steps. You catch Astarion looking behind him at the door with worry. Your heart once again catches in your chest and is filled with that stupid, unfair glow. 
FOCUS BIRDIE!
 You shake your head and rake your own paw over your ear as if to chastise yourself. You put your adorable pink nose in the air and take a big whiff- the putrid odor from the woman is coming from a room down the hall and the closer you get to it, the worse it becomes. The scent has an underlying metallic smell so you are almost positive something is wrong with her blood. 
  You peek under the doorway and use Misty Steps to enter the room- you immediately throw up upon entering. 
  The room is scattered with papers and it looks borderline manic. There is a dead woman laying out on the bed and all of her blood is completely drained. It’s the same woman that Astarion had left with except she smells normal enough. 
  You reluctantly hop up on the bed- finding, to your horror, that the woman has multiple stab wounds in the chest and her eyes are wide in horror. It takes every last bit of your strength to swallow the nausea that threatens to consume you as you cast Speak with the Dead. She regards you, but she’s not nearly as lifeless as you thought she would be. 
  In fact, she screams, “ARAJ NO!” the moment she reanimates which causes you to leap at least 10 feet in the air with your tail puffed up. You clench your teeth and take a deep breath through your mouth before talking- you don’t want to begin cussing the corpse out. That is not a good way to start an interrogation. 
  “Why did you say, ‘Araj, no’?” You ask sheepishly.
   You know Araj- she’s the person you lost a claw to. She had come to your room in the middle of the day and demanded he bite her. She would not stop asking and wouldn’t take no for an answer until you forced her to accept it. 
  “Araj… paralyze… force herself… Astarion.” 
  Oh that woman is dead.
  “Why!?” 
 “Anything… to be… bitten.” 
  You are sprinting towards the door and smack into it from going too fast. You pop back up, your head now throbbing, and use misty steps once again to exit the room. Turning the corner, you see Tavern goers begin to aww at you, but you hiss loudly and scare them off.
  This feels even worse than Cazador for some reason. At least you knew the bastard was a sadistic, evil man, but Araj just seemed like a minor inconvenience. Now she’s a really big inconvenience. 
  You spot them quickly in a secluded corner of the bar and weave through the tavern goers. You can sense Astarion’s anxiety, but you hear him talking as if he has not a single care in the world. She flirts with him, but he deflects it which seems to upset her- you’d be upset too if your piss poor plan was going to the grave. 
  Adrenaline fills your body as you get closer and see the little paralytic bottle peeking out of her pocket. You race forward and skid to a halt underneath the table. Neither one of them has seemed to notice your appearance so you go straight for the bottle in question. 
 “Has anyone ever told you how incredibly handsome you are?” Araj says, “you look like you have walked out of a poem.” 
  Disgusting.
  “I have heard that before, yes.”
 HA! Take that lady! He could not be more interested and her plan really won’t work if he isn’t interested and her bottle of paralytic disappears.
  You put your teeth around the neck of the bottle and slowly pull it out of her pocket. Your teeth are able to get a solid grip in the cork, but it definitely has some residual paralysis potion on it because your body begins to tingle painfully. However, you continue with your mission and you are able to get the bottle out of her pocket; Only for it to crash to the floor when you drop like a dead weight. One thing is for sure- that’s a hell of a paralytic. 
  The sound gets both Araj’s and Astarion’s attention- Astarion is quickly picking you up off the ground.
 “What’s happening?” He asks you in his panic, “are you hurt? Are you dying? What-“ 
  You see how panicked Araj is as she looks from you to the broken bottle on the floor. Astarion is so distracted with you that he doesn’t see her frantic mind trying to piece together a reason for this to be happening. At least she’s smart enough to realize saying, “I made that paralytic to roofie you so I could force you to drink my blood and it looks like your cat ruined my plan” would not end well for her.
 “Oh your poor kitty must have found someone’s bottle of paralytic,” Araj says while feigning innocence, “I have an antidote I can give her- do you want to continue this upstairs.”
  Astarion nods, but mostly because he just wants you to be okay. You are infuriated right now- this woman is taking advantage of the fact that you can’t talk and you doubt she has an antidote. She’s probably going to poison you and then attempt to assault Astarion. 
  She parts ways with you both so that she can grab the antidote. You want to scream- Astarion needs to follow her and see the nightmare that has been created. However, he brings you into your shared room and begins digging through his pack. A sigh of relief leaves his mouth when he finds an antidote bottle. 
 “I don’t trust that woman,” he grumbles, “and I have a feeling you found a lot in your investigation.” 
  You gladly drink the entire bottle as fast as possible before popping up and looking Astarion dead in the eyes with your tail puffy and tall.
 “Thatsarajandsheisgoingtotrytoforceherselfonyou,” you shout all too fast. 
  Astarion looks positively perplexed, “I’m sorry Darling, but I think I may have misheard you- Araj is a Drow woman and this woman is a tiefling.”
 “YES but she killed her friend or assistant- the details are fuzzy, but I cast Speak with the Dead and Araj was going to give you the paralytic so she could force you to bite her,” you pause for a moment, “which now that I think about it- probably isn’t possible for her to do.”
   Astarion appears to go through the five stages of grief almost instantaneously while he thinks. You wonder what’s going on in that beautiful head of his. Is he sad that she isn’t really the person she was pretending to be? Your heart hurts at the thought and you once again bat yourself over the ear- earning a weird look from Astarion before he goes back to contemplating.
  The shit eating grin that threatens to break his face throws out your non-feline and non-ghost thoughts.
 “It appears we have a problem on our hands,” Astarion says with a mischievous grin, “whatever should we do? We don’t want such filth contaminating our space!”
You nod in agreement, flicking your tail back and forth. You think hard and long about the best course of action. There has to be at least a billion things you could- WAIT!
                    *************************************
  You and Astarion snicker as he sets up Godey’s destroyed bones next to Araj who he had put in the cuffs hanging from the wall. She’s fast asleep- Astarion had asked her to go on a walk with him and then casted sleep on her when he was just outside Szarr palace. You served as the distraction so she couldn’t counter it by popping out of the corner and scaring the woman out of her illusion. The look on Araj’s face was priceless when she realized Astarion knew exactly who she was prior to the big reveal. 
  The last part of your masterful plan wasn’t your idea, but Astarion insisted. He dragged Cazador’s disgusting, rotting corpse up from the dungeons and sat it up in a coffin. He had opened the man’s eyes (how they are still intact is beyond you) and maneuvered him so that it looks like Cazador is staring at Araj. 
  A stirring from behind you causes Astarion to pick you up before casting invisibility. You are going to do a quick body jump- as much as it horrifies you. 
  Possessing a dead, rotting person is absolutely disgusting- you think you’ll stick to being a cat until you can find another solution. However, Astarion promised you that he would take you to the beach when you reach Amn and let you teach him how to read music in return for your discomfort. 
  Cazador’s rotting limbs move uncomfortably and Araj begins to scream in terror as you descend upon her. 
 She did say she would do anything to be bitten.
*********************************************************
Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)
Tag List: @n3rdybirdee @fandomarchiveilyd @dajeong @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @bitchstarion @hereliesblackdragon @pebble-bb @spacebarbarianweird
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neo404 · 2 days
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Reader finally decides to come out to his parents but it doesn’t go well so nick holds and comfort hims
I’m here.
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Summary: during a dinner with your family on Pascua, your dad asks about girlfriends, if you have one yet, you tell him that you actually have a boyfriend, and his reaction is worst than you thought.
TW: USE OF THE F* SLUR. homophobia, cursing, talk about religion.
Note: It’s quite hard to read, so stay safe reading this one.  
It was our mandatory monthly dinner, since I moved out my parents and siblings insist that we all gather at least once a month to talk about our lives and not grow apart. Tonight was different, my older sister brought his boyfriend with her, and that of course made the topic of partner the focus point tonight.
‘’5 months together, that’s so sweet darling.’’ My mom awed as they talk about how they met, how they started dating and all that bullshit. I have been with Nick 7 months, it will be 8 in a week, I can’t bring him here and brag about how much I love him, how unfair.
‘’What about you? Do you already have a girlfriend?’’ my dad looks at me, a bottle of beer on his hand. ‘’Or are you a player like your old man used to be? You know, it’s normal for boys your age to play around until they find someone to tie them down.’’ He laughs and I try to not make a disgusted face.
‘’No, I’m not ‘playing around’. I’m actually dating someone, he’s a good guy.’’ I mumble and look at my dad dead in the eyes.
‘’What are you talking about? He? A boy, you are dating a guy?’’ he laughs, like it’s some kind of joke.
‘’Yes.’’
‘’No, no son of mine is gay. That’s not how I raised you.’’
‘’How you raise me has nothing to do with who I like.’’
‘’I should have been harder on you, you are disgusting.’’ I know my dad isn’t the sweetest man alive, but that hurted, a lot.
‘’What?’’
‘’Leave my house. I don’t want to see your face! What will the people at church think? That I raised a fucking fag, that my son will burn in hell. No, you are not my son, get the fuck out of here!’’
Tears pool into my eyes, I look at my mother and she’s looking down, tears running down her face. I stand up and run away as fast as I can, tears rushing down my face. I run and run. I realize I was running towards Nicks house; I can’t show up unnoticed. I look at my phone.
----------------------------------------------------
Whinny Boy. 💜
<Hey. Tell me how was the dinner when it’s over.
<If you want to maybe we can watch a movie on call.
Nick. I’m sorry. I’m outside your house.>
<Hey?
<All good?
<Wait
<I’m going.
----------------------------------------------------
I try to stop crying, I try to hold myself, I try to be strong. But I fail. And when Nick opens the door I rush into his arms, he quickly holds me whispering reassuring things into my ears. I break down, I cry like I never had before, I cry like I was a child. He closes the door and guides me into his room. I hide my face into his body, and when we are in his room I lay down on his bed, not saying a thing, quiet tears streaming down my face.
‘’Shh, I’m here. It’s over, you are okay.’’ He rubs my back. ‘’Everything it’s all right.’’
After a while I stop crying. He cleans my tears and runny nose.
‘’Wanna talk about it?’’
‘’I don’t know.’’ I whisper.
‘’That’s all right. It’s all right, honey.’’ He grabs my face, his warm hand bringing me comfort. ‘’take your time.’’ I nuzzle my face into his hand.
‘’My dad, he-… he said that I’m not his son, and that I’ll burn in hell because I’m dating you…’’ I try to keep my breath steady, but a few tears run down my face, I see Nicks eye, he wants to cry too, I can see it, but he doesn’t, he stays strong for me. He hugs me, as hard as he can.
‘’I’m so sorry, honey. I’m so sorry.’’ He rubs my back. I hug him like my life depends on it, I hug him like he’s keeping me together, and he is. ‘’You didn’t deserve to hear this, I’m so sorry.’’
‘’Can I sleep here tonight?’’ I mumble.
‘’Of course. All the days you need.’’
That night I didn’t talk a lot. Nick helped me shower, brush my teeth and change clothes, he brushed and dried my hair. I cried a bit more and he cleaned my tears and held me close at all times. He whispers sweet nothings into my ear until I feel asleep in his arms.
It was a hard night, a night I won’t forget, because it made me realize how much he loves me, and how much I love him. it made me realize that I want to spend the rest of my life by his side, and I will make everything in my power to make sure it happens.
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