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nerdieforpedro · 3 months

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Did you say Raspberry Beret or Tea?

Dieter Bravo x plus size female reader

This blog is 18+ MDNI

This fic is for general audiances.

Word Count: 777 (Go buy a lotto ticket! 😎)

Summary: You're having a horrible period day and Dieter makes it better. No raspberries were harmed in the making of this fic.

Warnings: mentions of periods, discomfort, fluff

Notes: Not beta-ed. I wrote it at work and tired out a moodboard I think. I'm playing around with them. I blame my uterus for this fic as today sucked while I worked. 😑

“Ugh….I roll and I roll and it does nothing.” Your oversized t-shirt rides up under your breasts which adds to your annoyance. You’re sweating and having chills at the same time. Sprawled across the bed, you’ve tried both of your sides, laying on your back which led you to curve it in pain and on your stomach, you had a few minutes or relief before another heat wave came and made it too hot to stay face down.

Sitting up at the side of the bed, your hair is lopsided and your silk bonnet is on the floor. You don’t remember taking it off or hearing it fall. “I took my Midol, I kept chugging water and peeing. I’m still sore, hot and cold…this sucks. What am I missing?!” You rub your palms on your thighs to try and take your mind off how uncomfortable you feel. The floor feels cool though, maybe you should lay on it. It is a beautiful dark hardwood floor, you can see your reflection in it. Your body has a sheen of moisture from your sweat. “Become one with the floor…” You whisper to yourself and then start feeling cold again from so much exposed skin. “My body hates me.”

“Honey Pot, you don’t look too good.” A voice that you’ve missed the last few days as he’s been out of town. Dieter stood in the doorway with a cup of coffee. You love your coffee with four creamers and sugars with some dashes of vanilla extract. “Do I need to call someone? You’re sweaty and you feel cool. That’s really weird.” He handed you the coffee and pecked your lips as you accepted it. His palm touched your forehead before traveling up to smooth down your hair which was sticking up. “You’re on the losing end of a fight huh?” You quickly finished the cup, warming your body from the inside out, then you were again overheated.

“You were so sweet with the coffee and you had to ruin it Dee. It’s one of my heavier days so it’s so much worse. My meds and usual positions aren’t working. It’s horrible. Fix me…” You whined, rather uncharacteristic for you as Dieter was used to you listening to his complaints. He sat next to you on the bed and put his arm around you, the fluffy fabric of his ever present gray robe tickled your neck.

“Aww…my poor sweetheart. What do you need from me? Anything you want I can order?” He asked, you shook your head and sighed. Patting his thigh before intertwining your fingers with his.

“No. I finished the coffee. I think I should have my raspberry tea. That should help, and then play some music, maybe moving around will help instead of just rolling in the bed.”

“Raspberry I can do honey pot. I’ll go start it now!” Bravo jumped up excitedly and ran out of the room. You were surprised to see him that enthusiastic to make you tea. He always said you brewed it too strong. You placed your feet on the cool hardwood floor again and stood, letting the cold travel from your feet, your head flew back from some relief. Your body had once again decided to change temperatures on you.

“Oh god that feels good. I should have gotten up sooner.” You laughed at yourself for not hopping up sooner and walked toward the doorway that led to the living room. Music filled the room as Dieter had turned the Bluetooth speaker all the way up and was shaking his hips with his arms extending out. It looked like he may start doing some kicks any time. “Dieter, what are you doing? Did you make the tea?”

He continued to dance over to you and pulled you toward the center of the room, placing a hand on the small of your back and leading you around in a circle to the rhythm. “I don’t know why you wanted to listen to ‘Raspberry Beret’ but it’s always fun to listen to Prince. Personally, I would have picked ‘I wanna be your lover’ to dance to.”

You stared at Dieter’s bright face as the two of you danced, his face with the same half grin and smirk he normally had. Your head rolls back as you erupt with laughter, forgetting for a bit that your uterus has chosen violence this week. “Another fun one is ‘I would die 4 U’ you know you can’t hit those high notes Dee.”

The two of you continue to swing around the living room to the jovial sounds of ‘Raspberry Beret’ the tea forgotten over the melody.

Trash Panda Pals 🦝: @katw474 @readingiskeepingmegoing @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @megamindsecretlair @pamasaur @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @sp00kymulderr @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @titlee78

#pedro pascal characters #fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #dieter bravo #dieter bravo fanfic #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo x plus size reader #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x you

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fuck-customers · 6 months

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I got to have my own "Sir, this is a Wemdy's" moment the other day at the movie theater.

Guy: *walks in and starts walking towards the back without giving me a ticket*

Me: "Hi :) I need to get your ticket."

Guy: *points at popcorn counter* "I'm just checking the lotto numbers."

Me: "Lotto? We don't sell lotto tickets."

Guy: "Sure you do, I just bought some."

Me: "We don't sell lotto tickets. This is a movie theater?"

Guy: *in the "I can't believe you don't know this" voice* "You sure about that?"

Me: "Yes."

He still wouldn't believe me so I ended up calling for a manager.

Me: "He wants to buy lotto tickets from concessions."

Manager: *confused* "We don't sell lotto tickets."

Guy: "Oh."

Manager: "Maybe you're confusing us with the gas station down the street."

Guy: "That's probably it." *leaves*

Like, he seemed a bit drunk but I'm not sure how much you'd need to drink to confuse us with a gas station. It's an 80,000 square foot building. Even the biggest house I've ever lived in would comfortably fit in the lobby, where this conversation was taking place.

Also, I hate it when people refuse to take my answer but immediately accept it when the manager says the same thing. I've worked here for 8 years. The manager you're talking to has been here less than 2. I trained him when he was new. He double checks with me when he's not sure about policy lol. (I do not want to be a manager)

Side note, you know those car air fresheners that people hang off their rear-view mirror? The lotto guy had one of those, but sculpted from tin foil, hanging off his hat. Which isn't relevant but it's something I've never seen before lol

Posted by admin Rodney.

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blorbo-from-the-cosmos · 1 year

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Just Some Random Things I’ve Manifested Since Entering the Void <3

Tickets to Disneyland

More specifically, available tickets to Disneyland. I actually had no idea about the new reservation system they have because I haven’t been to the park since 2012, and my grandparents are visiting us so my family had intended to go to Disneyland for the weekend since they’re from out of the country and have never been. Lo and behold, the website says they’re booked and the whole plan goes down the drain. Well, that’s what we thought until I remembered “hey! Im a master manifestor!” And I affirmed and lived in delusion the entire ride there. I successfully manifested openings for our group of 7 people for passes that lets us take my grandparents to Disneyland to live out their childhood dreams 😌

Winning Lottery Tickets

Like actual tickets I won from the scratcher cards slfkfkdkksls sorry I havent manifested millions of dollars yet. I just bought a couple of lotto scratchers on our way back from California because we don’t have them in the state I live, and I just decided they’d all be winners. Lo and behold, they all had a prize of a free lotto scratcher ticket. That one is on me for not being more specific, but hey free tickets are free tickets and at least now with my new ones I’ll actually have a cash amount in mind to manifest once I get them 💀

Crystals!

I’ve been obsessing over malachite and opalite since forever. I’ve been drawn to these stones for so long but I always put off buying them because Im not someone who strongly utilizes crystals in day to day life, I just think they’re pretty and that they offer good vibes yk? I want to a swapmeet the other day and literally found them at the stalls and so I got a malachite ring and a GORGEOUS piece of opalite. Im literally obsessed its so pretty and im manifesting that my aura shines just like it because it is just my favorite crystal in the world <3 (yes I know its a man made glass pls just let me enjoy my shiny rock)

Just a few random tidbits, all since awakening my power and realizing that of I can get into the void after 3 years of trying, I can do anything <3

#blorbo from the cosmos #blorbos rambles #blorbos posts #law of assumption #manifestation #reality shifting #affirmations #manifesting #shifting #self concept #shiftblr #loa #void state #void concept

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miidnighters · 1 month

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me: maybe I want a new job me: looks at job postings me: gives up and buys a lotto ticket

#x. ooc | ☾#ah yes nothing like a touch of being realistic

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trivialbob · 1 year

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I did not win.

Sometimes as I exit the grocery store, if I have a dollar bill I buy a scratcher from the vending machine at the front of the store. The lotto and scratcher machine is easy to use. These tickets are also available at a customer service counter.

That counter is generally for newspapers, cigarettes, lottery tickets, and money orders. But anyone can purchase a few groceries in that line too. Inevitably, if I want a lottery ticket, there is a weird person with a basket of groceries and twice as many questions slowing the line. Also, this customer pays for the groceries with a check and will not start writing it until the employee has announced the total due.

The reason I had some cash is because I forgot my wallet. Lucky for me I had an emergency $20 bill in my key chain and also my money belt. Those hidden bills saved me from having to go back home for my wallet. After paying for food, I had some dollars left.

There was a guy at the lotto machine as I approached. I wasn’t going to wait around but he was interesting to watch. And fast!

The machine spit out several scratchers. He scraped the latex covering, but not the part that shows prizes and what you need to match. Instead, the guy scraped off the bar code and scanned it at the vending machine. He had no winners and scampered off quickly.

You can’t write a check for lottery tickets. Even if you could, that man would not have wasted any time doing that.

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dreaminmetaphors · 2 months

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With a Lemon Twist

Even in the darkest night, I'm a bright-sider kinda guy, smiling under starlight.

The glass is half-empty because I'm hydrated.

And the worse things get, the stronger I become.

So trust me when I say: the best part of the worst of humanity

Is that you can improve yourself by removing an aspect of their strategy.

Take their playbook with a grain of somersault. Give it a swirl with a lemon twist.

Seriously. I want you to study failure so you can repeatedly ruin the recipe when you reproduce it.

Take the guy who always supplies a reason he never really needed for why he quits:

"That's it! I can't find a synonym for cinnamon, so I'm gonna sin again. Screw this noise!"

See me grinning? Because I found a loser's life hack, only I quit at quitting.

Why settle for a deeper reason when an idiot excuse suffices to hear yourself make mouth word noise?

Say what? Yeah, those days you just need to hear yourself say it aren't about making sense of anything at all.

So say, "That's it! I already got caught in the rain, so why would I kill myself today? I'm over it!"

Ready for another? You know that guy who never misses a chance to buy his ticket?

Dashes to the store before they drop the lotto balls like it's a New Year's Eve event?

I can borrow that tenacity and point it at something with purpose more than playing with matches.

I keep vigilant eyes open for those four-leaf clover friendships.

I'm not just going online, bubbling in numbers and waiting around to be found.

Speaking of matches, you can mix and match fail-style strategies (this is the next level)

Just as easily as you could with good things multiplying like... hip-hop turntables built out of legos {record scratch screech}, feel me?

Two negative numbers give the same positive product. That's just math.

The dismissive asshole at the party who stomps your story because his ego's a vast emptiness?

Aaaand that person who gets walked all over whimpering and whispering, "but I can change them"?

Let's say someone tries to apologize for hurting me, I can answer: "Cool story, bro," and not accept it.

DJ Lego, rewind that back: I do not accept apologies.

I can acknowledge it and keep faith that they can change

Without the <slap> "lemme see that on replay" <slap> "here I am, hurt again" <slap> lifestyle.

The only thing I accept is changed behavior.

I volunteer as tribute only so far as, "Here, lemme be a consequence you remember.

Maybe ruining this relationship with me will help you be better next time.

Because you being on your journey is not an excuse to murder mine."

I do this every day, take negativity from people who never have anything nice to say,

Let that remind me to mind the details because the devil is in there already.

Then I crossfade that fluffy new age white privilege-y "everything is meant to be" mentality,

Fold it up like an extra napkin in my back pocket, and produce a prayer more like...

Radio telescopes listening for an alien invasion:

"Hey, if you're out there, I want to believe, but...

In the mean time I'm gonna default-operate as if I'm the only hands you've got down here."

Truth be known, some days I don't feel like sticking around to see it,

But that's when it's time to apply Karen-level defiance!

The glass gets half-full as I pour quiet contemplation like good hydrations.

Then I'm back in action again:

Bright-sider on the darkest night, smiling under starling.

The worse things get? Well, I guess the better I'd better be.

#original poem #poetry #trigger warning

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fighterkimburgess · 2 years

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Officer Down

Summary: After an explosion rips through a box truck in a parking lot, Hailey Upton doesn’t wake up immediately.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: injuries, medical tests, talk of needles and blood.

Wanna join my taglist?

AN: If anyone had “Cíara writes an upstead fic” in their hiatus bingo, let me know. You should probably buy a lotto ticket.

—

The ringing in his ears began to fade as Jay sat up, the world covered in grey smoke. Turning his head too quickly was almost painful, but his mind was focused on one thing. Where was his wife?

“HAILEY!” He screamed, vision finally coming back fully as he looked around. The truck was blown to pieces, twisted scorched metal dotted around the lot. He thought there was a car alarm going off, but he wasn’t sure. “HAILEY!”

There was no response, and Jay made himself stand and survey the scene. She’d been just behind him. But now she was twenty yards away and he was running, losing his balance as he tried sprinting to her with a spinning head and aching heart.

“Hailey, Hailey. Hailey, wake up. Wake up!” She was too still, but her pulse was steady under her too pale skin. He grabbed out his multiway, the Intelligence only radio ignored as he fiddled with the channel.

“50-21 George there’s been an explosion at the parking lot at West Addison and California. 10-1, officer down. Roll an RA to our location right now, she’s unconscious.” His fingers never left Hailey’s neck, her pulse easing his worries. “Hailey, are you with me? Wake up, Hail, c’mon. Wake up.”

He was too afraid to shake her with the blow she’d taken, worried about how her back could have been injured. Instead with one hand he picked up his secure radio, Voight screaming into it.

“Sarge! Hailey’s been hurt. There was an explosion, I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Is she awake? Jay, is she awake?” He could barely hear his sergeant’s question over the fear in his head but he shook it.

“She’s unconscious. Ambo is on the way, we’re closer to Rush but I’ll get them to bring us to Med. She’s not waking up.”

“It’s Upton, she’s going to be fine. Stay with your wife. We’ll stay on Escano, Hailey needs you.”

“I’ll keep you updated.”

The roar of the ambulance finally arrived, along with CFD’s finest. And in this case he was so lucky it was people he knew from 51 arriving, hoses in hand to knock back the fire from the explosion. Mikami and a stranger came running over with the backboard, shock on Mikami’s face.

“Halstead, what happened?”

“There was an explosion, a case we were working our CI got burned. Hailey got the brunt. Violet…” It was the first time he’d used the paramedic’s first name, and he saw immediately how it affected her.

“You’re coming with us, you’re injured too. I’m assuming you want Med?”

“Please?” Jay never begged, never asked questions, but when it was to get Hailey the best care he’d do anything.

“But Rush is closest to—“ The paramedic he didn’t know began to speak, but Violet interrupted her.

“Detective Halstead’s brother is an attending at Med, and this is said detective’s wife. If we don’t bring her to Med she’ll get transferred across. It’s better continuity of care.” She paused, finishing her survey and putting a c-collar on his still unconscious wife. “Go get the backboard on the other side. STELLA! We need you for a roll.”

Jay watched as one of his wife’s friends came over, dawning horror on her face as she realised it was Hailey lying there.

“Halstead…what…what can I do?”

“Just help her. Please.”

He watched them roll her on and strap her in, the rest of Stella’s truck crew running as gently as possible with Hailey to get her into the ambulance. Jay followed, pats on his back and squeezes to his arm as he got in from the people he knew.

“Let me know what happens,” Stella said, the last one to give him a squeeze as he got in.

“You know I will. She’ll kill me if I don’t.”

The doors shut and Stella hit them, the new paramedic setting off with the sirens going.

“Where’s Brett?” Jay asked, watching as Violet put a mask on Hailey, gauze on the cuts on her face.

“Put this on your cheek, you’re bleeding.” She handed him a wad of gauze and he followed her instructions, wincing at the ache the pressure gave him. “She’s in Oregon. Jacobs is my temporary partner while she’s gone. She’ll be back soon.”

It was clear she didn’t want conversation and Jay stayed quiet in the rig as Violet worked. Hailey was still unconscious as they pulled into Med, the doors opening to reveal Maggie and Will.

“Jay. What happened?” Will went to professional mode, but Jay could see the worry in his eyes.

“Hailey Upton, 33. Caught in an explosion, she’s been unconscious since it happened.” Violet rattled off vital signs but Jay didn’t pay attention, just watching as they wheeled her into a trauma room. It was flashbacks to finding Kim, except this time he wasn’t covered in blood. She’d be fine. She had to be fine.

His stomach roiled and he ran to the bathroom, barely making it in time to bring up bile. They’d been made. His wife was in danger and he could barely breathe. If they only got six months to be married and that was it…no. He couldn’t think like that. He couldn’t.

When he was steady enough he flushed and washed his hands, arriving back out to see Hailey’s bed be wheeled to the elevator. He went to run but Will stopped him, grabbing onto his shoulders. For the first time in almost two years Jay melted into his big brother and let Will hold him, taking the strength he needed for a moment.

“How is she?” He asked when he let go, Will steering him to an empty bay.

“She’s still unconscious. We’ve sent her up for a CT and MRI to make sure everything’s ok in her spine and brain. It’s normal after a hard fall like that, so I’m not worried that she’s still out. Do we need to know anything?”

“No, nothing. She’s healthy, things are good. Things are finally good for us, Will. We’re married and happy and things are finally right. I can’t…”

“She’s going to be fine. You could have told me about the marriage though, finding out from her ring wasn’t fun and I couldn’t answer any questions.”

Jay rocked his mind back to when he’d told his brother…and he hadn’t. Between work and the new apartment and Will picking up extra shifts because of the stupid ass apartment building he’d bought they hadn’t been able to get a drink since maybe Halloween.

“Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Good to know you can keep a secret. I need to stitch up your face, tell me what happened.”

He didn’t have Hailey there to distract him from the needles, fear gripping him. But Will kept him talking and he was able to get through it with the thought that he’d see his wife soon. He had to see her soon.

“Congratulations. I’m taking you both out for dinner when she’s ready to go. You deserve it. Do you want Mom’s ring?”

“Nah.” The thought of that ring hadn’t even hit his mind. “She didn’t even want an engagement ring. The silicone bands mean we don’t need to worry in work about anything.”

“Practical as always. We were able to leave hers on for the moment. She should be back any minute, once I get the results I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks.” They came out to Hailey being wheeled down and Jay was allowed sit with her. It’d been an hour and a half since everything had happened, and time had passed too quickly and not fast enough. He stayed still, holding the hand that didn’t have a cannula in it. Every part of his body wanted to leave the hospital, but it was Hailey. He wasn’t going anywhere.

A knock on the glass startled him, Ruzek there with a grave expression on his face. Jay gave the wave for him to come in, Adam taking the spare seat.

“How is she?”

“Still unconscious. Will says it’s normal, but.” He shrugged.

“If anybody knows what you’re dealing with right now, I do. And I know the rage that’s gonna hit you in about an hour, that someone could harm the person you love. And I also know that you’ll let it fester because you won’t make the stupid decisions I made.”

“I went with you for some of them.”

“Let me be wise and sage for a minute. I wanted to check in, I was driving past and thought you’d want an update. But Escano’s dead.”

“The fuck?”

“He was stabbed to death. And castrated. Anna’s missing. It’s a mess but it’s our mess. Stay here with your wife, make sure she’s ok.”

“I can…”

“Platt once told me that the worst thing to do is to wake up alone after an in the line incident. I still regret not being here last year when Kim woke up. Stay here.”

“When did she tell you that?” Jay meant it as a joke, but Adam took it seriously, eyes staring at the ceiling as he counted.

“Seven years, four months, eleven days ago. When Kim got shot by that robot gun shit. But it’s good advice.”

“Yeah. It is. Let me know what’s happening?”

“You know I will.” Ruzek stood, looking over at Hailey in the bed. “You know she’s loved you for years, right? Even when we were together, we both knew there was someone else we wanted. I’m just really glad she’s happy. You both deserve it.”

“Thank you. For all of it.” Jay rose and pulled the younger man into a hug, holding him close for a few seconds before they separated. Adam got it out of everyone, and having him there for even a few minutes meant a lot.

“I’ve gotta get back, we’re searching for whatever we can find. Voight and Platt told me to let you know that if you even think about coming back to the district they’ll individually and together kill you.” Jay actually laughed at that, a real one that made Adam smile.

“I’m not leaving. Even if it is a hospital.”

As Ruzek left with a wave, badge around his neck as he went back to work, Will arrived in with an iPad. The first thing he did was pull the c-collar from around Hailey’s neck, Jay relaxing seeing it happen.

“What’s the diagnosis?”

“Her neck and spine are fine. She’s got some cracked ribs, and she’ll have a concussion and a hell of a headache, but she’ll be fine.”

“Why isn’t she awake then?” The anger burst out of him unintentionally, staring at his brother. “If she’s ok why hasn’t she woken up?”

“How much stress are you under right now? Can you even tell me about it?” Will didn’t give him an inch, Jay staring back at him.

“No.”

“That’s why. Her body was forced to rest, so now she’s fully resting. It’s a good thing, as awkward as it can be. She’ll wake up soon. We’re gonna admit her for the night for observation, someone will be over to bring her up to the neuro ward. I got Abrams to check her scans to be sure. Ok?”

“I’m sorry. Thanks.”

“I get it.” Will squeezed his shoulder before going to leave. “I’ve to get back to work, when I’m finished I’ll come up to see you both.”

It was another forty minutes before an orderly came down to get her upstairs, Jay following them. Hailey was put into a room on her own, a view of Chicago from the window. Not that Jay even noticed it, his attention was focused on his wife in the bed.

Every twenty minutes or so he got a text from someone in his unit letting him know what was going on. They’d found the stash house and Anna was safe, Escano’s killer unknown. He could read between the lines of Burgess’s text, what she wasn’t saying but was. He didn’t care. Anna wasn’t his problem right then, his wife was his priority. Whatever happened with the case happened. He’d find out later.

Violet had put Hailey’s cannula in her right hand thanks to him insisting she was left handed so Jay got to hold her hand, pushing a kiss to her wedding ring. After the worst week of their lives, the fear that she’d be in prison or worse. The not knowing. The way Voight proved he would actually go down for one of them. He’d never trust the man how he used to - and he knew Hailey wouldn’t either - but that had meant a little to him.

“I really need you to wake up soon. I dunno how long I can wait here without your eyes open. Please?”

He stared at the tv in the corner, a random infomercial playing. How they’d found an infomercial in the early evening he had no idea, but there it was on the screen.

“Jay?” He turned too quickly, Hailey’s eyes open and a confused expression on her face.

“Hey. There was an explosion, you got hit pretty hard and you’ve been out. How’re you feeling?”

“Like I got pushed onto my back by an explosion?” Her dry humour made him laugh, Hailey grinning. He hit the call bell for the nurse, watching as the exam was done.

“A mild concussion but you got very lucky, Detective. And your husband didn’t leave your side. We’ll leave you alone for a while, and I’ll get food for you.”

She stared at Jay in shock for a moment until they were alone. “You hate hospitals.”

“And?”

“No, Jay, you hate hospitals. I had to bribe you with paying for range time to make you get a flu shot.”

“But I love you. So wherever you go, I go. Got it?”

“Got it.”

He leaned down to kiss her, breathing in the smell that was just Hailey. They were ok. That was all he cared about right now.

#Upstead #jay halstead #Hailey Upton #jay halstead x Hailey Upton #Hailey Upton x jay halstead #jay x Hailey #Hailey x jay

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fuck-customers · 8 months

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Bit of a story time!

I work at a small convenience store, so a lot of people come in to buy lottery tickets. An old lady comes in (looks like she was born when Christ was still a child) and asks to get an 11$ Lotto Max ticket. The way those work, I can make the base ticket 10$ and put one add-on in for 1$ to make it the right price. I ask her which one she wants; she insists she doesn’t take any add-ons, and only wants the base ticket. I tell her it is impossible to just have a plain ticket for 11$; she must get an add-on. There are 5 other people in the line, so I don’t have time to argue. She refuses to show me the other ticket she has so I can figure out what the hell she wants. I call my boss because she knows most of the regulars, but the lady also refuses to talk to her. Finally I get her name and my boss tells me what add-on she gets. Fuck you, old lady. Also don’t come in the store if you can’t wrap your head around what you want. She got mad at me when I told her what add-on she gets, still adamant that she only gets a base ticket. I don’t want to be the type to hate on old people, but some of them make it really hard.

Posted by admin Rodney.

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seroqueldreamer · 3 months

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Seeing someone trying to vague post me on TT but giggling bc I'm living my life as best I can, taking my meds, doing things that make me happy, and trying to improve myself.

So, what Karma babe? Me deleting my discord and TT account?? Babes I have a backup for each. Sorry you came across my fyp while you're still waiting for a guy to 💀 instead of being proactive about what you wanna do. Italy won't happen bc of gOdS. It'll happen bc of you. Goth Italian stallion? Not happening bc of gOdS. Happening bc of you. Sure, religion is a nice scapegoat to fall back on when life goes to shit, but it shouldn't be the only thing that you think will make shit happen.

Shit should happen bc you grab fate by the bits and make it your bitch. (Non-derogatorily) Fate doesn't happen willy nilly. People win lottery by buying a ticket, people get nice cars bc they buy/finance them, people move to cities that are a change of pace bc they found a place to live. There's always something setting something else into motion. Fate has control like winning lotto numbers, a cheaper price, a new job opportunity. But fate ultimately doesn't control every aspect of your life. Your choices do.

And the choice you make is being gainfully unemployed, binge drinking, misidentifying alters as deities, deluding yourself that I wanted as a support person and running ESO campaigns all day. But those are your choices. And you made them. I made my choices. I'm possibly facing an assault charge for slapping my sister. But that's a (poor) choice I made. I made the (poor) choice to ghost my exes for 3 weeks. We broke up as a consequence. I made the poor, stupid choice to reach out to you specifically because you and one other person were the only sense of normalcy I'd had in a week. But that's me manipulating the situation and not seeking comfort, right? You really live up to your screen name, Tipsy. Get some help.

#personal #starry eyed rants #angy #no talk me im angy

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honeybeewhereartthee · 1 year

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My Darling Dolls AU : selfishness, hypocrisy and a contract.

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"*yawn... Morning." You greeted HiMERU as you wake up from your unconscious state after few days time.

"..."HiMERU look at you with a clear sight of eye bags in his eyes.

"HiMERU felt drained with problem you cause." He says as he show you endless text of Rinne second phone number about where you are and why are you not back yet.

"Your things." He give your own phone and turn it own to only have it ring endlessly by call coming from your boss, alkaloid batch as well Rinne and that weird ass kid before:

[THE GREAT LEO'S PRINTING PRESS:I wanna visit your place to write horror genre songs.but I saw that There's a weird thing in your front yard!! IT GIVES ME INSPIRATION!!]

[HIHIiro: HELLO!! WHERE ARE YOU. MAYONNAISE, AREA AND THAT SUSHI IS WORRIED] (A/N: he is not use to it, auto correct ruined his text]

[RinRin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FEET PICS?! ANSWER ME THISSSSSSSS!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS EARLIER!!]

[IdolSimpAira: Do you wanna watch idol live concert? 🥺🥹 I have five tickets!]

...

[idolSimpAira: CRAZY B DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE!! I CANNOT FORGIVE THEM. CAN YOU HEAR ME OUT??😭]

... (insert Aira complaining about crazy b and him buying merchandise out of stress of the situation)

[Mayoi <3: MC, I would always help you if you need it. Please don't go asking to get hit by someone! VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!]

...

[HiHinata desu: oh the phantom have fallen ill again! Yuuta fallen ill too! MC! You shouldn't be reckless!! >:Tc now I also want to be asleep.]

You wonder what Hinata meant but it made you worry if his joking around again since he like to text prank you many times than being serious.

...

"...what's wrong with the front yard?" You wonder what that weird kid talks about.

"...ah. Amagi's younger brother accidentally order something weird from online after getting his own phone." HiMERU show you what it was.

"... Isn't that a Halloween props." You ask as you look at the ruined Chucky doll props at the front gate, impaled in the gate iron.

"They should have added blood running down the iron gate to make it more scary for other kids to look at." You thought about what it lack for a concept. The idol sigh as he realize your not a bit worried about it.

"Anyway I still don't know why I gone to childhood years instead at that time where kana meet such accident." You mumble.

"... Kid Kana is so cute Ùwú" you boosted as you stood up from the bed, almost losing balance as you have been laying there for a week and haft.

"Oopsie." You were lucky able to stop it when you hold at kaname bed which is beside yours.

You thought about the kaname you are with in your dream and the play that you guys joined in few years back, you hold his hand that have tube connected to him to supply him nutrition while being asleep.

"Dear sleeping beauty, when will you wake up?" You mumble feeling worried about how you'll get to the next time you'll try to time travel again. So far you don't see kaname gaining self aware that he could be someone like you.

He just call you Chuni (indirectly) when you keep telling him your from the future. Past mayoi would probably call you one too (in his mind at least)

"sleeping beauty huh..." HiMERU start. The two of you then chat how you should just kiss him awake and you debunk it by saying it's the filter Fairy tale.

Then it turn to lotto winning digits and being called another rinne. Almost went to an argument but later decided to go back to the house.

Through you did drop on a props store to buy fake blood to put in the front gate to maximize the effect of the wanna be Halloween theme the people in the house did.

When you two come back HiMERU excuse himself as he need to check on ES again for his idol work. "Mk. Bye." You said as you wave him off. You look at the chucky doll at the front gate before you open it. Walking inside the property, you notice how silent it is. You could almost felt someone is looking at you in every direction of open tainted windows.

"...is it Halloween or something." You mumble as you open the front door. As the door unlocked the sound it create made the people in the house all look at the direction.

"I would like to say if you suddenly go and surprised me out of nowhere I will dislocate a limb :)" you utter a joke to yourself or whoever is listening to you.

"MC!!!" You jolt in surprised when you hear the twins called out to you before they did an air flip and landing in front of you from what seems to be a hanging swing tied in the ceiling. "Welcome back ~ from dream land."

"what..." You wonder how they know.

"oh! Oh! MC don't know! Shall we tell them, Yuuta?" Hinata giggles to himself as he look at your oblivious situation.

"Eheh. Should we? Should we? But MC is a bad owner for being gone for days! Oh! How mean and heartless of them! We shouldn't!" Yuuta answered back to his brother with pout.

"... Shouldn't you guys be in ES boarding house? I wasn't worried being gone for a long while cause you all be doing idol stuff." You check their schedule they always put in the refrigerator and thought it was safe to leave for a couple of days to week even.

"how could we do that ~ we only fallen asleep out of nowhere if we're out! Cause MC Is a bad owner!! Now we're dub Ritsu sakuma the #2 and the #3!" Yuuta complained as he poke your nose.

"bully MC but not physically! Meany! Meany!"-Hinata

"bad! Bad! Bad owner!" -Yuuta

The twins called you names and you just chuckle as you walk into the house. You look at the couch and saw someone looking at you with burning gaze.

"Yes? Are you also going to say something, hiiro?" You ask the batch leader of Alkaloid. Who is eyeing since you come in yet never spoken anything.

"MC, I wanted to ask where you gone too but Aira and Tatsumi said you have your own life outside from us. But I hope you'll tell us next time if you'll leave for a long while." He said on seriousness. "Plus since you leave, mayoi won't leave that room and always asleep. " He added.

Somehow you wonder why he said mayoi is also sleeping.

"...!!" You heard something upstairs, you look up and saw familiar long purple hair of someone running away fearing to be seen.

"MAYOI <3" you smiled as you wave to hiiro to talk to him more later on as he seems to still want to talk to you. You then run upstairs in chase to follow the phantom to his hiding spot.

You climb up to hear him closing the door, you smirk as you give chase and follow him to the door.

"HERES MC!!" you says as you open the door.

"Mayoi~.... Eh." You saw no one inside. "did I enter the wrong room?" You mumble as you walk inside and the door close behind you, your focus in the scene before you to notice the person your looking for is behind you hidden behind the door.

Without even making a sound he slowly approaches you from behind, his face hidden away, unable to determine what his current feeling.

"I'm bad at this..." You grumble as you still don't notice him.

"Are you mad? Where are you?" You called out.

"Yes, but do I have the right to be mad?" You heard someone says behind you.

"Mayoi--" you happily turn around and was about to hug him when he went to the side to dodge your attempt.

"MC..." You could hear his voice in the Verge of crying.

"...saying sorry for making you worry is not the way to fix this isn't it?" Realizing that mayoi isn't going to desire his words and worry to be taken as nothing anymore.

You stared at the cards in your hand, wondering what kind of action you'll do to give him a reassurance that such event wont happen again but that woukd be lying.

You plan to continue till Kana will wake up and already thinking how to be in such position again to gain access to the past. Even it means hidding things to the people who entered your life and cared for you like a family would.

You been hidding many things from him for a while now, keeping your problem to yourself again when you can openly says those when it's just the two of you. Because you only have one another.

"yes it could fix it... As I'm just someone who you won't listen too. You treat me as someone special and important yet you would not hear me out when I'm worried about you... "His left hand grip his right arm, shoulder shaking as he lower his face to not be seen for any expression his emotion is under going on such moment.

"*Hic... Sorry maybe I have no such status in your life. I could only listen to you... Do you hate me now that I'm not a doll who could easily be discarded --" you saw tears fall down, wetting the rag in the process through you can never see his eyes full of grief.

you felt sadness, grief, hopelessness and pain as well guilt. Somehow those emotion don't felt like yours. "Mayoi--..."you reach out to him.

Wanting to say something and hug his pain away "NO! I--.. N-nO... I-if y-you...t-touch m-me and s-say warm yet heartless words y-you... M-make me unable to d-do anything.... *Hic... *Sob... Am I useless... To be lean on your p-problem now...?" He fallen to his knees as tears continue to fall, pouring like raindrops and emotions that made you suffocate like drowning in a lake of hopelessness and grief.

Lake that once a beautiful garden of happiness and warmth slowly flooded by the rain of negativity that very moment you stopped connecting to him, through sometimes the lake would become happy place again when you only have him in your eyes, through it's just illusion he keep the voices in his mind that start to speak when he become human. Because you have many people with you now.

'ah... How ugly for someone like me to wish for old times...' he thought now true to himself. He does wish to meet his friends, you having warm big family that would share laughters, care for one another and love that you never fully experienced as a young unfortunate child, that only have him in your life.

"... Humans are selfish people. We live for our own selfishness. Even if we said we wish for other people sake of happiness, in the end of day we only did such thing because that's what make us happy." You don't try to approach him anymore. You look around the room, to the window and to the walls. "I'm. Human and I'm selfish. I would continue to do something stupid again because seeing kana wake up would make me happy... Even it mean your going to be mad at me, hate me and whatnot... I don't want you too. But I did it to myself if you did so one day..."

" Because the moment you become human like me. You'll realize the very moment we meet I'm very selfish and only cared for people who give me value in life and never myself at least I care enough to be happy in small moments." You thought about it, many things you did are very stupid, even if you think of the consequences five steps ahead of the others.

You would hit and harm your classmates for bullying mayoi way before he show his conscious state. A simple odd looking toy in the eyes of others is more important than their judgement or their life.

Even it mean being thrown out to another place, unable to start a firm root in one place yet when others says bad words about you. You play deaf.

"...*hic..." You heard him whimpering. "I'm actually happy you have become human. Because you can be free to do what you want, you can be a beautiful star with your brilliant comrades. And maybe forget about me."

"you ask me to not abandoned you or to leave you. Which I'll do because I'm happy as long your happy... But such promise doesn't include that I cannot make you abandoned me. Ah .. that felt terrible to say!" You giggle. "Especially from me who hate being thrown away! Humans are hypocrite! I'm hypocrite! Because I am complicated human being~" you turn to look at him and seat in front of him. You don't know how crazy you sound like or look like in his eyes. But it doesn't matter, as emotions you keep inside pour out like leaking faucet.

"So I would continue to do something you'll be mad about through not because I want you to hate me ... Not yet at least. Because it make happy to see kana my second reason to continue living to wake up. And to experience people worry about my will being. I'm a greedy person. I never experienced such emotions from other people.

"Ah .. people from that place would laugh at me...! Because they wish for a human that won't feel such flows to only be bland and normal yet perfect in every way as possible-- a perfect human without flows. But sadly I am human. And human have flows... " You felt your throat dry from speaking too much. "Mayoi being mad is so cute... ~ 💕" You added after observing him.

"... Since I am like you... A human. Won't you entertained me for my selfishness?" His tears have long dried up. He look at you with no hate or loath.

His gaze with only you in his beautiful blue eyes leads you to question if your words are good or not. Or your awaken something bad on him... Or maybe you just triggered something that once in a dormant state to be awaken.

But seeing him smile as he awaits your reply.

You can never judge him at all. Because mayoi is mayoi. Whatever the world's says about him, rude or bad, they could only get a middle finger and iron fist from you if those words become physical pain.

"if you wish for me to stop. I won't. But if it don't include that. I won't mind." You smile, not because of hypocrisy or that you felt insanity like how you speak those words earlier about what you felt you are as a human being but because speaking to mayoi about what you felt heavy burden inside made you, realize you felt relief after long time like old times.

"MC won't be happy if I said that won't you?" He smiled. "I won't ask for such thing that would make you sad. Even so it made me grief and worry..." He slowly lean his head against you and arms securing you in his captivity.

'Oh how he wish to keep you for himself!' he thought as the voices in his head seems to calm down when he felt your warmth.

"I will Help you... If you need to gain access to the past again... That's what you been doing right...?" You froze before you chuckle as you circle your arms around him and give him a tight hug.

"Yes, that's what I been doing..." You mumble. "But how would you help me~? Can you land a punch...?" You jested.

"my body might be human but I will never stopped being the phantom." He you felt his voice right beside your ears, it made you felt chill which made you giggle. Red tint in your face hidding it from his view as you burry your face in the crock of his neck and shoulder blade.

"Sorry I never understand what phantom thing is..." You felt hopeless, as you never understand why other seems to fear Mayoi or baseless rumors that surrounded him since long ago.

"It's ok... It's better you'll don't understand. I fear you'll fear me--"

"I won't even if others calls you monster or bad omen or bad person. Mayoi is mayoi. My precious mayoi."

"ah... MC... Those voices in my head suddenly come back again, if you say sweet nothing. " You felt his hold on you tighten.

"I don't know if I can stop myself to do what they say..." He let out a low chuckle that held a threat yet it felt tickle against your skin.

"What do they say, mayoi?' you ask.

"...to bind you to a contract and lock you away~ away from everyone who could steal you... Ah... MC my thought are disgusting aren't they?" he giggle.

"It's fine. It's because your human like me. Being human is complicated isn't it?" You hummed. "Hmm.. contract... I heard of it from Aoi twins. If the voices of your head wish for me to be under one to reassure you. I won't mind. " Your a selfish human being, even if such words supposed to be a red flag. You don't mind, you don't mind granting his selfish wish. Because mayoi would be happy and it makes you happy as long it don't go against your plan with kana's current situation.

"... R-really? You'll do that without even knowing the pros and cons? Ahh~ MC! My sole grace in this world... You don't know how that make the voices in my head happy, how it makes me happy...!!! Because if your in a contract with me. You'll be fully mine... all of you..." His smile adoringly at you, his eyes show twisted sense of obsession and love, his face that have red warm blush across his face, warm like his feeling right now, the moment you said such words it gives him so much happiness, the voices in his head is beaming with joy with him. Yet it become tearful, hopelessness of sadness as he realize how ugly he might be in your eyes.

" *Hic... M-my thought surging with my emotions makes me felt I'm the lowest of the low but I don't care... You a-also...w-won't care, right??" He leans away, eyes spinning with spiral of beyond the boundary of what's right, gaze upon you.

Cherishing hold your cheeks in between his palms, with close distance between the two of you.

You can felt his breath and felt his heartbeat against your chest. The surging emotions pour down like rain in a drought desert.

"hmm.. as long mayoi is happy..." You nodded.

"Ah~ I love you so much~ it's sickening! N-not you! But me!" He says with corrupted mind. You suddenly felt something weird as if you felt thread slowly tying into you, yet you see nothing particularly wrong with you.

"...I love mayoi too <3 " you said with full of honest.

"I know... I am human because of your love." Your hugged by him. He smiled against you. He felt so happy at the memories, with the warmth that you'll only give him and only him.

"A sicko, like me is the one who gain such happiness and great fortune to be able to meet you before others did... I won't let you go.. I cannot...! I'm sorry I cannot abandoned or hate you... Ah... MC... " He pause, he lean away again to look at you in your (color) eyes. His gaze at you like your above what Mades him be in this world, blue star or his dollmaker, or god...! "Your imperfections is nothing but perfect in my eyes. Your my angel, my beloved human... I will die if you die. I will be sick if your sick. I will share your pain and your happiness." You wonder what he meant as you felt his telling a secret he hides from you.

"You cannot escape me... "Mayoi words felt like a curse. He lead his head against your chest, kiss the place above your beating heart since your wearing a type of cloths that have could easily unbutton his lips glaze against your chest, you felt slight burning sensation as invisible thread tying a knot to lock you in place. Yet you saw nothing with your naked eyes. You just saw Mayoi happily looking at you.

"If you did... I am a human... I won't be question if I listen to the voices of my head for the things I'll do if you did... " He giggle, which reminded you that if you regret anything later, it's all on you as you will let him be selfish. "What's that?"

"ahaha... I will not tell unless you did such horrible thing that would cause you to endangered your life... Our life."

"...ah. "somehow things start to click in place. The text of his and the twins words that felt weird as it's like they experience what you experience. "Did you..." You sigh hopelessly. You have heard of darling dolls who can wish for anything even it's beyond sane, once in their life.

"that's right! My MC shouldn't be reckless, unless you wish to drag two innocent darling dolls and my life to the grave with you~ <3"

You realize your particularly being threatened by mayoi yet you realize and thought in your head; Thats fuck up like really bad. But that's kinda hot. Maybe red is my color. :^)

Your deranged, both of you are. But it's fine. Your aren't one that would listen to society normalize protocol for sanes humans.

A/N: if you read MDD AU MINI CORNER DEAR SLEEPING BEAUTY. Your awaken before CH3 starts. You been asleep for 1week and haft in present time btw. Hopefully I don't over did it with the background and way of thoughts of MC--you. I just thought humans are complicated (like me and people around me) so I just did that.

TAG LIST : @allimili @valeriele3

#ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars #enstar x reader #enstar #himeru #rinne amagi #mayoi ayase #mayoi Ayase x reader #Ayase mayoi x reader #my Darling Dolls AU #my Darling Doll AU #mayoi x reader #yandere mayoi ayase x reader #enstar x you #ensemble stars x you #yandere mayoi ayase #obsessive thoughts #obsessive Mayoi Ayase

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frecklystars · 11 months

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Customer asked me + the rest of the customers waiting in line what we would do if we won 11 million dollars (he was buying lotto tickets) and the other customers were like “oh I’d get a new car” “I’d donate to charity” “I’d buy a house” and they turned to me and I totally blank out when I’m on the spot like that so I just went ummmm uhhh ummm................ I really want that fancy chocolate ice cream sprinkle cake they’re selling in my store’s bakery that’s like $30

#and then i'd put my tiny heatwave/bumblebee figurines on top of it #honestly id buy that life size bumblebee movie statue thats 8000 or something like that #and just lounge in his arms #OR. id buy plane tickets to fly to the next convention steve would be at #and then buy a voice clip where stsc says he loves/misses me and would never dream of hurting me

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ctrl-shift-escape · 4 months

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I'm a terrible person.

Recreating the sequence of events that gets my very loud, abusive neighbor arrested by the FBI passing by never ever gets old. Especially when he gets tazed. That's always funny.

As for what's on my to-do list, I wanted to see if I can get the murder in the city solved and also determine what happened in the great McDonalds fire.

Elliot's - the kid who gets run over - situation seems to be okay and stable. And now that I have the automatic phone call maker, I don't have to dedicate 30 minutes of that time anymore. No real in-depth convo, just making him cautious to pay attention to the road that day is enough.

Also, Officer LaMont and Trevor. I owe them for what they did to me in the past loop. They're also probably corrupt given what happened, so I don't have to get into the moral quandary of punishing people for something they could've done. They won't be police officers when I'm done.

Also it's a bit strange. Why did the loop end at 9:00 pm when I was away from the explosion? But back in another loop, when I got caught in the explosion and forced down to the basement, I was able to survive to the next day.

I also bought a mechanical watch for the purpose of seeing how long the loop will last at that time. I suspect I died from suffocation. But if one were to think about it, maybe it's not suffocation that did me in, but maybe it lasted that long because I wanted to see how long the loop would go.

Does that mean I have some degree of control over the loop? I guess I can test it by taking the bus out of the city again on day 3. Just gotta remind myself to buy that lotto ticket.

#loop 65 day 2

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oflowtides · 7 months

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⸻ JOHN GALLAGHER JR. HE/HIM / have you ever heard of I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO COLLEGE by avenue q obc, well, it describes JAMES ‘JIMMY’ BRUMEIER to a tee! the thirty seven year old, and DESK CLERK was spotted browsing through the stalls at portobello road market last sunday, do you know them? would you say HE is more unproductive or more BOYISH instead? anyway, they remind me of crooked ties, coffee ring stains on a nice desk, unruly hair no matter how many times you comb it and never really wanting to grow up, maybe you’ll bump into them soon!

time in notting hill: ten years

The best word to describe Jimmy would be unmotivated. He never had much of a drive to do anything other than play video games or binge watch shows and movies. Growing up, it was like pulling teeth to try to get him to do his homework and participate in class, or even get a part time job because he really just didn't want to do it. Despite this, he didn't hate school; the structure was reassuring and helped keep him on a schedule despite the late nights doing whatever it was he wanted to do with his free time.

There were a number of reasons for Jimmy to show up to school every day - one of them being he had to, but the other was Yale Cameron. She was both his best friend and his longest relationship - the pair dated for two years, and there was no one he felt more comfortable or at ease around. He had been convinced for a while that she was his soul mate, and while that still rang true after they broke up, it was not in the way he had initially thought. However, the two became a packaged deal, rarely going anywhere without the other, and their closeness and lack of boundaries often made their respective dating life hard.

Everyone who knew him was only half shocked to hear he actually wanted to go to college - his lack of drive in school lead most people to believe that he'd graduate high school and wash his hands with schooling, but the idea of more personal freedom coupled with the structure Jimmy clung to was too enticing. He barely scraped by and managed to get into a state school, and the cycle started over - but this time he tended to skip more classes so he could party or sleep or play video games all day. He failed his first year, which wasn't a shock to anyone, but he didn't get kicked out either, so the cycle continued.

He did manage to graduate (a few semesters later than the peers he started with however) and spent the first six months doing nothing but buying lotto tickets and sitting around doing nothing, living close to campus because student housing was cheaper and he refused to move back home. This weirdly paid off, as Jimmy won the jackpot. Suddenly he had more money than he knew what he could or even should do with - so he decided that he should move to the UK because there was nothing tying him down (especially because Yale was moving with him - he wasn't going to go anywhere without his platonic life partner).

The move was surprisingly easy - though he kept the fact that he was now nearly a millionaire to himself. He decided to get a desk job to keep himself busy, and to have a means of income to at least explain where he got money to do stuff with. The structure of an office was good for him - he's too aimless without someone telling him what to do and when to do it - but despite being in a more 'grown up' environment, he was still stuck in a college boy mindset, and that was very evident from the way he ate, talked, and often dressed outside of the office. It was either charming or a huge turn off - Jimmy found there was rarely a middle ground.

He hasn't burned through too much of the money; rarely wanting to draw that much attention to himself or want to make big purchases, he still has about half of it after all this time, sitting in a savings account. Only the Cameron siblings know about it, as they're more or less his own siblings at this point. He could mature a little more if you asked anyone who knew him, but his personality is pleasant enough, eager to step up and help anyone who needs it with minimal complaining depending on the task, and sometimes his more immature outlook on life can remind people that not everything needs to be so serious all the time.

#nottinghillintro #jimmy brumeier ; biography

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