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#they really said let the gays run away and be happy
damn-daemon · 1 year
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Stay winning, boys.
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Ding dong, here’s the final chapter! I have an epilogue in mind so that may come later, but for now, Thanks  so so much for the response to this series and Enjoy!
Ch1 Ch2 Ch3
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[talking] [talking passes]
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Gai: You knew right away, didn’t you? Kka: Correct. I knew something was wrong when you weren’t trying to do situps or anything..... You little criminal, who smuggled that in for you? Gai: Naruto
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Kks: How did you get him to do that? /I/ cant even get Naruto to do things. The tear tracks and shit eating grin are cute. Kinda wanna kiss you. Gai: Don’t let me be a hindrance to-
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Gai: What are you giggling about? Kks: I just remembered
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Kks: I get to hold over your head that I held mirai before you. Gai: You what?! Your first baby hold and I missed it? Get off of me Kks: So mean! Near death made you crabby. Gai: I won’t give into this Kks: You will, you always succumb. [gai sighs annoyed]
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Gai: [Groans] When are they making you swear in as hokage? Kks: That’s not happening anymore thankfully. Gai: Huuuh?? Tenzou didn’t tell me that!
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Gai: He said Lady Tsunade was retiring and you were the only choice. Naruto even tried to- Kks: Where do you think i’ve been all day? I convinced her to hold out until Naruto or whoever  took over next. Gai: How did you smooth talk that one? Kks: I agreed to do her paperwork and cover for when she needs R&R. I also advised her to ditch the elders so she can actually run this shit show right. Gai: And they... took that well? The elders? Kks: No, not at all. Let’s just say I said some... things that made them backtrack on their decision.
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Gai: YOu cant just say that and not tell me now!! I gotta know! Kks: Well... Homura: Absolutely not! Kks: If I am appointed, I’ll be replacing you regardless. Naruto certainly will. It’s inevitable. Koharu: Those kids don’t know how this village runs!
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Kks:Those kids just won your war and this is how you speak of them. Or are “those kids“ only respectable to you when they’re eager to die at your beckon call and shut up. Elders: How dare- Watch your tongue! Kks: I won’t be someone who you can walk all over. Things will change. Just so my intentions are clear
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Gai: What next?! Kks: That’s is really. Kinda tuned the rest out and passed out for 3 hours. Gai: Rival, I was so invested Kks: Sorry Gai: So you agreed to essentially split the work of a hokage but not publicly take the title? Kks: Mhm Gai: So cool! Apologies, I had just assumes since you were gonna accept last time Kks:[hums] Things changed. Konoha’s not on the brink of war, Tsunade’s still here. The village can breathe and rebuild now.
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Kks: After a glimpse of the hassle and public attention the last time, I’m just... Not interested in any of that. I’ve never dreamed or desired to be the hokage. That was always something others wanted /for/ me. So I said no. I know you were happy for me so- Gai: Kakashi
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Gai: I’m so very proud of you for expressing how you truly feel. You and tsunade will do amazing work supporting the next generation. Even If you chose to retire today, I’d still be just as proud of you. Also a selfish part of me if happy to have more time with you. [kks huffs]
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Kks: I’m proud of you too, y’ know. All your hard work, you’re fucking incredible. Glad my dad made me talk to the cool kid in the green jumpsuit. 2nd coolest shinobi. Gai: Only took 25 years, but I’ve finally caught your eye! Kks: Yup, let’s move in together.
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Gai: WHAT?1 Whu-! Kks: I’m fixing up dad’s old house with Tenzou. you should live there with me Gai: Why? Kks: Why are yo suspicious? I’m serious. Space, accessibility for you... I want you around more. Gai: Ok Kks: Ok? Gai: An exciting change is just what my youthful journey needs!! Kks: So yes?
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Gai: I would love to share a home with you, Rival [kks giggling] What now?
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Kks: Did I just make you succumb, Gai-kun? Gai: When can we have a match next, I need to consensually slap you in the head [kks laughs] Why did you say it like that? Kks: I’m sorry! Your pout looks so cute.... You are still moving in with me, right? That wasnt a joke.
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Gai: I’m gonna let you sweat on that one awhile... [whimpers]
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Kks: Love you so much, Gai
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[gai snoring]
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[gai snoring]
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heartsfourdazai · 2 months
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ok I've had this idea for a little bit but feel free to skip it if you don't like the idea!
So it can be NSFW or sfw but like,chuuya with a shape shifter reader who sometimes turns into him to mess with him (I have ideas for NSFW but yk)
READER WHO CAN SHAPESHIFT― chuuya nakahara x reader
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warnings: lowercase writing, somewhat crack, lmao, nsfw warning at the bottom(plz, i'm so tired i rushed it lmao)
uhm, anon i would love to hear your nsfw ideas; please i beg!! really hope you enjoy, sorry guys i'm so tried so my upcoming posts may not be the best, OR even written for some time
@justcallmesakira @riiwrites @ruanais
chuuya
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found your ability pretty cool, actually!!
it's really useful for mission and other stuff like that.
likes to see your ability in action.
you can turn into almost anyone!
one time, you turned into dazai and just bothered him with it the entire day.
he made sure to get you back someway, because if he didn't know it was you he would have punched you in the face.
however, he never expected for you to turn into him??
through chuuya's form, you ere chatting to tachihara and he thought chuuya, aka you, was drunk off his mind.
"you'll never believe what i heard akutagawa said to atsushi on this one mission, he's so gay..." chuuya spoke; however knew something was off by the way he spoke.
tachihara blinked, "ah huh..have-have you been drinking?"
"i don't drink; i collect!"
tachihara walked away awkwardly; shrugging when he noticed gin behind the wall he walked.
chuuya grinned as he turned on his feel and walked away as well; but with less awkwardness.
not even into the next day, more like late evening, just as you and chuuya were about to head out, akutagawa ran into chuuya first; and he didn't seem happy to see him.
as you sipped on your tea, legs hoisted up on your desk, you heard rabid footsteps from outside your door and two seconds later chuuya's figure came running in, beads of sweat rolled down his face as he had his back to the door.
his hat almost fully off his head, and his coat half of and on.
"chuuya!!" you cheered gleefully, trying your hardest to act innocent.
"back so soon-"
"he's mental!" chuuya cried, grabbing onto your arm and stared back at the door.
"who?" you played along.
"that vampire lookin ass, akutagawa. jeezus; what the fuck is he on??"
"well; what happened?"
chuuya pants, letting go of your arm when he thought he was safe...
"something about that weretiger! it's always the weretiger!!"
"and he's mad at youuu..." you hid your giggles...
chuuya fixed his hat; "because he thinks i told everyone what he told atsushi; I WASN'T EVEN THERE WHEN HE WAS ON THAT MISSION!!"
oh boy, when he finds out.
"well, he seems to be chiil now...how about we head home and.." you take his hand, but before he could respond at all...the door bursts open and akutagawa is there, just standing there and chuuya shrieks from the sudden loud noise.
"i will kill you-"
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!"
"he's right it was me.." you confessed.
"exactly, it was the- WHAT THE FUCK???"
okay anyways;
the only nsfw thing i can really think of, is when you turn into the person you shapeshift into, you know where they're weakest points are.
you ABUSE that in bed.
say your top; and he's just a mess under you.
slightest touch on his weakest point with have he a sobbing mess.
"taking it like the good boy you are, hmm~"
"th-hahts right; right there, ah?~"
"so you lied? tch, tch, this is your weakest spot, hah?~"
kay, i'm done<3
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longtallglasses · 5 months
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“I’m gay,” he blurts out suddenly, because if this is how his life is going and he’s gonna die in the next 12 hours he at least needs to let Mike know that.
“What?!” Mike whips around so hard he almost loses all balance and falls to the ground. He catches himself thankfully right before he does.
“I’m gay,” Will says again when Mike is in front of him. Mike’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open just a bit. Will doesn’t feel any emotion to his confession at all, it’s not news to him obviously, but whenever he imagined finally telling this to Mike he thought it would feel so dramatic. That it would feel like he was ripping open a part of himself, but given everything it feels like he’s just letting Mike know what his star sign is.
Mike however looks like he’s gonna have an aneurysm. He’s short circuited. He’s dumbfounded. Will is honestly a little surprised this is so shocking to him like did he never even consider-
“Uh-.. uh I know.” Mike stumbles on his words like bambi.
Wait what?
“What do you mean you know?”
“Uh, that I know… I know you’re- you’re gay.” Mike stammers out like he’s never said the word in his life.
“Did Lucas tell you?” Will accuses. He doesn’t want to think about the state that Lucas must be in but if he told Mike anything…
“No! Wait, Lucas knows?”
“Yeah, I told him. How do you know?”
“Well, I..” Mike struggles, “I just assumed… No! Not that I assumed, I just inferred.” Mike rubs a hand over his face, “Well, you know, I figured it out, kind of… like I just realized you didn’t really like girls, which is okay! I mean I get it girls are whatever… but then you know how obsessed you were with George Michael… well I just put two and two together and-”
“Ok, Ok,” Will stops him there, “how long have you known then?”
“I don’t know.. Um, like since last year?”
Will lets out an internal sigh of relief. Ok, he can work with that. He would’ve thought it was earlier given when Mike had started to stand farther and farther away from him, this trip excluded for obvious reasons.
“And you’re cool with it?” I mean he has to be at least pretty cool with it if he’s with him here right now.
“Of course! Of course I’m cool with it, I lo- I- I, you’re- you’re perfect.” Mike settles on and Will sees the look of strained cringe Mike just can’t disguise, and he can’t help but laugh at how utterly ridiculous and pathetic his best friend is.
Mike chuckles at himself too. Sheepishly running a hand through his hair. “Sorry, you know what I mean..”
Will forces himself to not laugh in his face any longer, at least they can still do this. He might be dying soon and a ghost of a witch might be after them and their friends, but this can still feel nice.
“Yeah I do, it’s okay. You’re perfect too.” He still blushes as he says it even if it's supposed to be half a joke. The huge megawatt smile that blooms across Mike’s face after he says it is pretty worth it though.
Mike tries to tamper it down by looking away and clearing his throat, but he’s not too successful, so Will helps him out.
“Let’s, uh, let’s get this stuff up,” he says to break the moment, and Mike is happy to spring to action to not talk about this anymore.
from my blair witch project wip mostly spoiler free lol things are getting spooky but you gotta come out to your crush before you die...
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The Best Birthday Ever
Charles Leclerc x male reader
Look, I know there are probably a shit ton of birthday fics for Charles, but this one is for the gays (mostly me)
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Warning: Smut
“Are you ready to go?” I ask Charles, standing in the bedroom door opening. “Yeah, if you could just help me tie my tie?” I walk up to him and wrap the tie around his neck. “You look so beautiful, you know that?” I ask him as I tie the tie. He blushes and giggles softly. “I do know actually, because you tell me that at least ten times a day…” When I’m done I give him a soft kiss and grab his hand. “Alright, let’s go Mr. Birthday-man.” We leave his apartment and drive to the nicest restaurant in town. In the car, Charles turns to me and says: “You know, I’m really happy to be spending my birthday with you…I just want you to know that.” I grab his knee and squeeze it softly. “And I’m really happy that you want to spend it with me” I reply. We arrive at the restaurant and I’m about to get out of the car, but notice Charles isn’t. I close my door again and turn to face him. “Charles, you okay?” I ask, concerned. Charles stares at his feet. “It’s just…It’s the first time we’re going out together, after we came out. I’m just a bit nervous, I think…” I grab his chin and turn his head to face me. “I know, baby, but remember when we talked about this? Remember what I said?” Charles looks at me with a slight smile. “You said that you love me, and I love you, and the rest doesn’t matter…” He lets out a sigh and blinks. “I guess you’re right…I shouldn’t care about what other people will think. I love you.” I rub his cheek. “I love you too, Charles…” I kiss him on his cheek. “...and I’m proud of you. Are you okay to go now?” He nods and opens his car door. I do the same and we exit the car and enter the restaurant to have Charles’ birthday dinner.
After a few hours we return to his apartment. While he takes off his tie I wrap my arms around his waist. I rub my nose against his jaw and whisper: “I think I know the perfect way to end your birthday…” I take the tie out of his hand and slowly cover his eyes with it, and tie it at the back of his head. “Just follow my lead, baby…” I say as I grab his hand and lead him to the bedroom. I slowly push him on the bed and climb on top of him as I take off my button-up. I lean down and start kissing him slowly. He puts his hands on my waist and starts feeling up my body. With my tongue, I ask permission to enter, which he gives me, and I start exploring his mouth. My hands run through his beautiful soft hair. I pull away and move to his jaw and his neck. Soft moans escape his mouth as his hands are still on my body. “You’re so beautiful, Charles. My beautiful baby boy…” I whisper in his ear while slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Moving down, I start leaving kisses all over his toned chest. Charles lets out another moan as my tongue brushes over his nipple. I start to softly suck on his nipple, while I play with his other nipple and Charles puts his hand on my head. “Please don’t stop…” he says, sighing. While still sucking on his nipple, I move one of my hands to his bulge and I start massaging it softly. Charles’ moans become louder and more frequent. I move away from his nipples, leaving kisses on his stomach while going down. I remove his belt and undo his pants. He lifts up from the bed slightly, so I can take them off and then I take off my own pants. I lean back down and start placing kisses on the inside of his thighs. “Please, can you suck me off?” he pleads. I start placing kisses on his clothed tip. “Everything the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy receives” I say as I pull down his boxers and his length jumps up. I lick my lips at the sight of it, as if I’m seeing it for the first time. Precum is already leaking and I softly lick it up. More moans come out of Charles’ mouth. “You taste so good baby, like always…” I say as I take his cock in my mouth. Charles lets out a deep sigh as I do, which makes me want his cock even more. I start slowly bobbing my head while gently massaging his balls. Charles' breath quickens as he puts his hand on my head to push it further down his dick. “I…I’m so close…Please make me cum…” he cries. I quicken my pace and move my hand from his balls to his shaft, sending him over the edge. I feel the warm liquid in my throat and keep moving until he is completely finished. I pull away and lay down beside him while covering ourselves with the blanket. After I uncover his eyes, I kiss his forehead. “I love you so much baby.” He leans down to kiss my chest and lays his head on it. “I love you too…Thank you for giving me the best birthday ever…”
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lenny-1of2dads · 2 months
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He is nineteen. Mitch's dad kicks him out for having gay porn under his mattress. He has been sleeping in a vacant building downtown for three days. He is not out to any of his friends.
He has not eaten, and he is starting to panic. This small country town don't like gay people too much. Then a Red pick up across the street makes a bee line right at him.
It was Tony a friend from high school who was home visiting from being in the Navy. Tony jumps out of his truck, runs over and picks him up. Spins him around. Puts him down and says how's it hang bro?
Mitch is happy to see him but too afraid to explain anything.
Tony asks if he is busy and if he would like to go get something to eat his treat.
Mitch was cool dude let's do it. He was freaking.
A booth at Denny's, they both order breakfast. Tony asks are you going to tell me what happened?
Mitch explains his dad and him got in a fight and he kicked him out, but he really does not want to talk about it. How's your family? How long are you back for?
Tony says family is fine. he is here for a month. Him and his dad got buzzed at the bar last night and got in a fight. Before Mitch could ask With who? Over what? After a pause Tony says With your dad, over your gay ass.
Mitch turned his head to look out the window, a tear falls then two. He turns as if to leave and he get a boot placed between his legs. Before you freak out and run away. I want you to know my ass is just as gay.
Tony switches sides of the table block Mitch between him and the window. Why do you think I joined the Navy right out of high school. Dude I really liked you in high school and was afraid you would kick my butt if said anything. Because I knew how much your dad hates fags, I assumed it ran in the family. I was so stupid.
Mitch asks' Tony if he could take him to he city were they have service for homeless people. If I could sneak in my house when my dads not home I could grab some clothes.
Tony says we can go pick them up right now if you want. Your dads not home. I just saw him at the courthouse this morning. He got six weeks in county, drunk and disorderly, battery charge, and a DUI last night. I have been driving around for hours trying to find your gay ass.
Mitch makes it clear he just thinks he is gay. He has never done actually done anything gay.
Tony says let's go to your house, we have a month to figure out what's next for us. The two boys kiss, pay the check and run to the truck.
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jjsmaybank20 · 1 year
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Finally Got the Girl
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Maddy Perez x Fem!Bennett!reader
Summary: Maddy had feelings for you before you graduated, there is no denying it. What happens when you come home for summer break, a little different than you were when you left?
Warnings: language, mentions of smut, mentions of Nate (🤮)
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: Requested by someone over on my wattpad. Hope y'all enjoy this!
navigation euphoria masterlist
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You had always intrigued Maddy. She knew of you because she knew everyone, but she really only paid attention to you at first because you were her best friend's little sister's best friend's older sister. Distant connection, but enough of a connection that she decided that you were worth watching.
You were a quiet girl, the calm to your younger sister's storm. You were the type of person that adults would talk about, whispering things like, "Don't doubt that one, they're going to be gorgeous someday." When Maddy knew you in high school, you were awkward, lanky, and constantly nervous, but nonetheless attractive in your own way.
The two of you were close, some would say closer than friends should be. The only real fights the two of you would have would be about Nate Jacobs, Maddy's then-boyfriend. You hated him with a burning passion after what he did to your sister, and any chance you got you would pick him apart. You didn't understand what she saw in him.
She couldn't help but be saddened when you went off to college, but she was happy that you had made it out of East Highland. You had managed to stay in a hidden back corner of her mind, making her believe that the feelings she had had for you had been practically forgotten, but as soon as you came back for summer break, they came rushing back instantly and even more intensely than they used to be.
Because while you were away at college, those adults's predictions about you had come true. You had fully grown into yourself, flaunting a new air of confidence that you never used to have. One contributing factor of this was that you had gotten absolutely jacked.
Maddy's first encounter of your practically new self was at the Howard residence. She was hanging out with the girls, Rue mostly being there for Jules and Lexi, when they all heard a car pulling into the driveway. Confused, Cassie moved towards the window of her room to try and catch a glimpse of who might have just arrived at her house. To her surprise, a familiar tall, muscular woman pulled herself out of a stylish sports car and folded her sunglasses before hooking them on the neck of her muscle shirt.
"Holy shit, is that Y/N? Goddamn!" The rest of the girls crowd around the window, trying to spot you as you walk towards the front door. As soon as Kat sees you, she gasps before exclaiming, "She got hot! I'm sorry Rue, I know she's your sister, but I would totally let her rail me and I'm not even gay."
Maddy rolls her eyes, muttering to her friend, "That's a pretty gay thing to say," even though she was thinking the exact same thing. The group hears the doorbell ring, making them all rush towards the stairs but trying to stay out of sight. They watch Suze open the door before hearing your distinctly deeper voice.
"Hey, Ms. Howard. My mom said that Rue was here? Just wanted to say hi to my little sister, and maybe a few old friends if they're around." Suze stares at you in shock for a few seconds, surprised by your new stature, before pulling you down into a hug. "Holy crap, sweetie! I almost didn't recognize you! Have you been working out?" The older blonde woman playfully squeezes your arm to accentuate her question.
They hear you laugh uncomfortably before Rue pushes her way through the pack and runs down the stairs towards you. She practically jumps into your arms, and you let out a groan and a laugh before squeezing her tightly. "Hey, RueRue. How are you doing?" You then pull back and give her a serious look, stating dangerously, "You better be staying off those drugs. I am not dealing with you going to rehab again. If that happens, the drugs won't kill you, I will."
Rue laughs, saying, "Yeah, yeah. I haven't been doing any of that shit. My girlfriend's really helped me out." You smile at her, and Rue waves towards the stairs, gesturing for the rest of the group to come down. They slowly make their way towards the two of you, and the people you already know you pull into a hug.
When you get to Maddy, you hold her tightly in your arms. "Mads. I missed you." Maddy buries her head in your neck, breathing in your scent. You hold her for a while longer before Rue uncomfortably clears her throat. You pull back awkwardly, turning to Jules and missing the silent conversation that Maddy and Kat have with their eyes.
"You must be the girlfriend. I'm Y/N. Now, at some point I'll probably give the protective older sister speech, but for now I just wanted to say thank you. You helped Rue get better, and that automatically puts you in my very good graces." Jules smiles at you and introduces herself. She holds out her hand for you to shake, but you shake your head and pull her into a hug.
Once everyone has been greeted, you clap your hands and exclaim, "Okay. I just stopped by to say hi, and also to tell Rue to be home for dinner. Invite your girlfriend. I am going to head out then-" Maddy can't seem to stop herself as she blurts out, "Stay."
All heads turn to look at her, each showing a different expression. Kat's and Lexi's displaying shock and realization, Cassie's and Rue's lean more towards confusion, and yours surprisingly holding nervousness and an expression that Maddy can't quite place. She looks down at her feet, feeling embarrassment quickly taking over her, but thank goodness Lexi notices and covers for her as fast as she can.
"Yeah! We haven't seen you in months, Y/N/N. Hang around for a bit. Please?" You sigh and nod, and the girls cheer before dragging you upstairs. You hear Suze laughing behind you as you get pulled towards the inevitable interrogation about college, love, and probably sex.
---
Almost as soon as you sit down, the questions come at you, rapid fire. You gesture for them to slow down before pointing at Kat and saying, "Go." She nods before shooting a mischievous look towards Maddy.
"Any special someone? I bet the girls are all vying for your attention. You're fucking hot." You laugh at her boldness and shake your head. "Nah. Haven't met the right person yet. Went on a couple dates, most of them turned into one night stands or they just didn't work out."
Maddy can't help but be happy with your answer, even if she was jealous of the women who were able to sleep with you before she could. You catch sight of her elated expression, which makes you smile. If you were being honest with yourself, ever since you had met her, you had hosted a healthy crush on the feisty latina woman.
You thought it would fade when you left home, and when it didn't, you tried to distract yourself with other women. That didn't work either. Every time you slept with someone else, you couldn't help but imagine that it was Maddy underneath you, moaning your name.
You are snapped out of your fantasy when Rue calls your name. "Huh? What's up?" She shakes her head, smiling. "You're still so fucking spacey. Pay attention. Cassie asked about hot dudes or some shit." You laugh, pulling out your phone, which causes multiple confused looks to form on their faces.
You pull up a couple of pictures of your friends from college, passing your phone to Cassie. You point to two brunette boys, a blonde, and a raven haired boy. "Okay, so. The tall brunette is Jack, the short one is Liam. The blonde is Turner. That last one is Ben. All of them are single and honestly, quite annoyingly desperate. You're hot, you basically have your pick."
Cassie 'ooos', and the rest of the girls crowd around to look at the boys besides Maddy. You glance over at her before moving to sit next to her. "Your not still dating that fucker, Nate, are you? Not looking at the boys cause you're being loyal to the asswhipe?" She lets out a small laugh, shaking her head.
"Nah. I've been into someone else for a while now." You smile at her, rolling your head to the side. "Who? Give me a hint." Maddy pretends to think about it for a second. "It's... your mom. She's just too hot." You shove her shoulder good-naturedly, muttering, "Oh, fuck you. But seriously, who is it? I wanna know who I have to beat up to get into your heart."
Maddy practically chokes on her spit at your bold statement before trying to recover some shred of her dignity. "Well, you can't really physically beat yourself up, can you?" She watches as the smile on your face grows before you grab her phone from the floor in front of her and hold it in front of her face to unlock it. She watches you, confused, but all you say is, "Putting my number in. Got important shit to text you about."
---
Mads 💖
You
if u work on a farm, and ur job is to take care of chickens, u are a chicken tender
Mads 💖
this is the important shit that u needed to text me about?
You
just a thought, dont be a hater. also, nope. im taking you out tomorrow night. be ready at 7ish, i'll stop by ur place.
Mads 💖
do i even have a choice?
You
yes ofc, but im assuming you want to go out with me.
Mads 💖
true
aight i'll be ready and waiting
You
can't wait 😉
---
Maddy stood anxiously by her front door, waiting for the doorbell to ring. She had spent at least 3 hours on the phone with Kat trying to get ready. She finally settled on a revealing but not 'too slutty' dress, in the words of Kat.
When the ring of the bell finally sounds throughout the house, Maddy practically throws the door open. There you are, standing slightly in shock, prepared to ring the bell again. You are wearing a white dress shirt with the top buttons undone and nice black pants.
You stare at Maddy for a few seconds, in awe of her. You finally shake yourself out of your stupor, holding your arm out so that she can hook hers around it. "Your chariot awaits, M'Lady." Maddy pushes you playfully, and you grin back at her.
"We have a great night planned. First, a restaurant. Then, a moonlight stroll on this super dope path I found. Then we can do whatever you want." Maddy nods excitedly, and the two of you hop in the car and head towards the restaurant that you had chosen.
---
The restaurant had been delicious, and Maddy couldn't help but swoon at your chivalry and adorable charm. You seemed to have put up a confident front for the rest of your friends, but deep down you were still that same shy, insanely intelligent kid that she used to watch.
As you walk through the park, you chat with her about the most random things. Suddenly you stop, forcing Maddy to back pedal so that she is even with you again. She is about to ask you why you had stopped, but then she catches sight of what you are looking at.
A beautiful pond that is sparkling with moonlight is directly in front of you and you can barely stop yourself from moving forwards and closer towards it. Maddy comes up beside you and slowly weaves her fingers through yours. You turn to say something to her, but your breath gets caught in your throat. The moonlight is reflecting perfectly on her, making her hair shimmer and her eyes glitter.
Instead of speaking, you quickly move your hands to cup her cheeks and kiss her quickly. When you realize what you had just done, you pull back quickly and try to turn away, apologizing profusely. Maddy just shakes her head and cuts off your apologetic rambling with another more intense kiss.
You freeze for a second before melting into the feeling of her soft lips on yours. She tastes like strawberries, and you feel her grab your face to try to pull you closer. Your hands find her waist, and you pull her flush against you, causing her to let out a soft sigh. She nips your lip, which makes you groan, and soon your tongues are intertwined and dancing together.
When you finally have to pull away for a breath of air, you rest your forehead on hers. "That was..." Maddy nods, finishing, "Really good. Really, really good." You let out an elated laugh, pulling her in for one more short but still intense kiss. When you look into her eyes, you ask, "Will you finally be mine? I really like you Mads. So... be mine?"
Maddy grins at you, replying, "I'm already yours." You reconnect your hands, and walk the rest back to your car, enjoying each other's company. Since you had met her, your goal had been to be Maddy's person. In high school, you had never had the confidence. But now, you finally got the girl.
---
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4wkjun · 1 month
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daddy sim | sjy
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Chapter 2: I kissed you first ➥ Contains: suggestive talk, fluff, swearing. ➥ Word count: 3,3k.
♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡
April 23rd, 2022 Saturday
Jake couldn’t be happier. A little scared, but happy. Your lips felt so soft against his, not to mention your hot tongue brushing deliciously against his! He almost fell off the stool when you pulled him closer by the nape of his neck, your fingers intertwined between his soft, recently cut hair.
“I like your hair longer”, you whispered against his lips for a brief moment.
Jake’s cheeks were a soft pink while he looked into your eyes, his pupils dilated as if he just got high from your taste.
“Huh?”
“Your hair”, you repeated, carefully pulling his short strands. “I like it better when you let it grow out.”
“I’ll let it grow, then”, he whispered back with a smile. “So you’ll have something to pull on”, he said directly into your ear.
You whimpered, the alcohol running free inside your veins. No, wait. Jake was running free inside of your veins. You kept your desire to kiss Jake’s plump lips to yourself for this whole year, afraid he’d brush you off by saying he’s into guys.
You wanted to laugh to yourself. You were so used to guys treating you like shit that you just assumed Jake was either gay or just really friendly.
Jake got up off his stool, adjusting his body between your legs. Your hands ran across his neck towards his shoulder blades, your nails slightly digging along.
“God, I’ve been waiting for this for the longest time”, Jake groaned before kissing your lips again.
He tried his best to be self-conscious and keep in mind all of your friends — and all of Jay’s, people you didn’t even know! — were around, avoiding a boner from popping out just from kissing you restlessly. You didn’t care, though. The alcohol made you ridiculously horny, you could ride Jake right there and then.
“What the fuck?”, Yunjin yelled a little too close.
Your girls realized you were taking too long while “talking” to Jake. They got worried you may be arguing and decided to look after you, worried they’d find you upset in a corner. You were not upset.
Jake suddenly pulled away from you, startled. His eyes got big while staring at Yunjin and Chaewon, both soaking wet and forming a little pool beneath them. They both looked ridiculously shocked, their mouths hanging open.
“Girl, let’s go back”, Chaewon laughed, pulling Yunjin by her arm.
“What?”, Yunjin squeaked - literally, like one of those dog’s toys -, her eyes still wide while she got rid of Chaewon’s grip.
Jake chuckled, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. You only laughed and leaned your head against Jake’s clothed chest.
“Let’s go!”, Chaewon mumbled between her teeth, pulling Yunjin again.
Yunjin left in complete shock, looking back at every three steps she took.
“Maybe we should come back to the pool, hm?”, Jake said under a shaky laugh. He suddenly felt nervous. Not only he was making out with his (drunk) roommate, but he also got caught.
“Are you coming inside?”
“What?”, he asked after awkwardly clearing his throat. You laughed.
“The pool.”
“Oh! Yeah, sure!”, he said in a high-pitched voice. You laughed, intertwining your fingertips in his.
Jake couldn’t understand how he walked you to the barbecue area with his heart in his hand and now he was leaving the same area intoxicated by you. Is this some sort of sick dream?
April 24th, 2022 Sunday
You woke up on the couch, your back flat against something. No, not something. Someone. Jake. You let out a groan as you opened your eyes, the room being way too bright for your hungover head.
Enjoying Jake’s body’s warmth, you closed your eyes again and leaned further against his body. You wished you were the kind of drunk who forgot everything you did while hammered, but you didn’t. You remember every single stupid thing you said and did, including kissing Jake. Well, kissing Jake wasn’t stupid... Right?
You turned around to face him and buried your face in the crook of his neck, feeling his — now a lot less intense — cologne filling your nostrils. Your head hurt a little harder by the scent, but you didn’t care.
For some reason, you became ridiculously rational. You really liked Jake — not in a romantic way, but you were attracted to him to say the very least —, you knew what kind of guy he was and everyone already judged the two of you for living together and not being a couple. So now, you had two possibilities in front of you: either he’d wake up and regret everything or he’d wake up and you’d try to make it work. Your heart deserved some calm and healing love like Jake’s.
You spent a while there, your eyes closed and arm tossed around his waist, just enjoying the peace you were feeling. Jake started to shift under your touch and let a deep sigh out, signing he was awake. His hand found its way to your head and he caressed your — a little tangled — hair.
“Morning”, you whispered. Jake jolted in place, surprised by the sound of your voice.
“Jesus, you scared me”, he chuckled. “Good morning, y/n. Comfy in there?”
You nodded, snuggling against his skin.
“Wanna talk?”
“About what?”, you mumbled, your voice still a little hoarse.
“About... What happened?”, he said funny. You chuckled.
“I don’t regret kissing you if you’re wandering”, you said, a little embarrassed. Things were easier to speak while the alcohol was in command. “... And I hope you don’t either”, you whispered feeling your ears hot.
Jake laughed, not believing the words falling out of your mouth.
“Are you kidding me? I’m in love with you for the longest time, y/n. I was scared, waiting for you to kick me out of here”, he laughed.
“Jakey...”, you groaned. “I don’t think I ever allowed myself to like you that way”, you admitted. “You don’t have to do anything with me if that’s gonna hurt you, you know?”
Before answering, Jake hugged you closer, his nose now touching your scalp.
“I don’t mind. I can lure you in, you know?”, he said, joking.
You laughed, caressing his back.
“Lure me in?”
“Oh, yeah. You’re not gonna be able to get rid of me, honey.”
The both of you laughed, way too lazy and hungover to get up. You stayed that way for a little longer, enjoying the moment. Hopefully, none of you would leave this apartment hurt.
May 2nd, 2022 Monday
It’s been a week since you and Jake started “dating”. Between these awful commas, because nothing has officially been said, you’re just acting like a couple. And honestly, things are great that way for the both of you.
The two of you walked inside of the campus holding hands, talking about the last episode of the drama you were watching together. Jake made sure to drop you in front of you in front of the building of your class, saying goodbye with a soft peck on the lips.
You walked inside of the building fanning yourself with your hand, feeling the thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead. The spring wouldn’t be over for another 20 days, but it was already getting unbearably hot.
“Good morning, Wonnie”, you greeted while sitting next to Chaewon. You grabbed your coat from the inside of your purse, getting ready for your class.
“Good morning, Mrs. Sim”, she mocked. You rolled your eyes, looking around to check if Jay was entering the classroom.
“Stop being ridiculous”, you groaned. “We’re just... hanging out.”
“Yeah, sure. You two live together, I bet you’re fucking on top of every surface of that tiny apartment.”
You pouted, feeling your cheeks hot.
“We’re not. We haven’t done anything but kiss so far, I’m afraid it’ll hurt him”, you shrugged.
“Wow, your dick must be huge”, Chaewon joked. You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head.
“I mean it! I want our first time to be special...”
“But?”
“But it’s so hard sometimes”, you sighed. “It’s hard to be a lady around him.”
Chaewon laughed, messing up your hair with the palm of her hand. You groaned, taking her hand away from your scalp.
“Stop it, it’ll be oily!”
She laughed again, staring at you a little more softly.
“I hope things work out between the two of you. You’ll be a cute couple.”
“I know, right?”, you said like a teenager, getting a loud laugh out of her. “Just... keep things down around Jay. I think it’ll be weird if things don’t work out between me and Jake and he finds out.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t say a thing”, Chaewon whispered stretching her pinky out. You never break a pinky promise, right?
May 6th, 2022 Friday
“I’m taking you out after class”, Jake said as soon as he stopped in front of your building’s entrance.
“Today?”
“Yep”, he smiled. “I’m gonna take you on a real date, what do you say?”
You stood up on the first of the three small steps of the entrance, being now almost Jake’s height. His hand never left yours, his thumb caressing the back of your hand.
“I don’t think I deserve you, Jaeyunnie”, you said tilting your head.
He typically scrunched his nose, never truly used by people calling him Jaeyun. However, he smiled big before letting go of your hand to hold your face. Both of his hands felt warm against your cheeks, making you pout a little. He placed a soft peck on your lips before letting go of your face.
“I don’t deserve you, silly.”
“Shh, stop being cute and walk away”, you joked. Jake laughed, but obeyed, walking towards the building next door. You turned away, ready to get inside of your building.
Until a hand grabbed your arm. You jolted in place, surprised. Your eyes only got back to their original size when you turned around and found Jay standing right there.
“Jay, what the fuck?”, you exclaimed dramatically, putting your hand on your chest to feel your heart - obviously racing.
“When were you gonna tell me things worked out between the two of you?”, he asked, almost offended.
“What?”
“You and Jake”, he said as if it was obvious. Well, it was.
“Oh...”
“Oh...”, he mocked. “I thought you trusted me!”
“And I do”, you answered exasperated. “I just didn’t want you to think less of me if things didn’t work out!”
“What do you mean if they don’t work out? Did you just miss the whole love session out there?”
You pouted.
“We’re not really dating, Jay... We’re kinda trying to see how things work out...”, you shrugged.
“Ok, you don’t need to explain things to me, silly. We’ve been friends for almost six years, don’t you know I’ll judge you even if you’re doing the right thing?”, he said in a fake expression of love.
You rolled your eyes and punched his shoulder before turning around and walking away. Jay let out a mix of moan and laugh, chasing you.
“Wait for me!”
You felt anxious when the bell rang and determined the class was over. That meant you were gonna go out with Jake for the very first time — as a real date.
You waited for him in front of your building, smiling big when his face showed up in the middle of that many people. You had to bribe your friends so they wouldn’t wait for Jake with you and make a cheesy BGM for the two of you.
“Hi, beautiful”, he greeted.
“Hi, handsome”, you greeted funnily. Jake laughed before pecking your lips. It’s been just a couple of weeks — in reality, not even two weeks yet —, but he felt so addicted to your lips... The poor guy couldn’t get enough.
“Ready for our date?”, he smiled. You nodded, smiling back.
Jake took you out of the campus by holding your waist next to him. He told you about the living hell his last class was and his heart felt full when you laughed adorably at his infamous joke. He guided you through the streets next to the campus, only to find a cozy little restaurant around the corner.
“I have never seen this place before, can you believe it?”, you told him as he held the door open for you. Jake laughed, nodding.
“I can, actually. It used to be a clothing store, the owners sold the place around a year ago. I loved that store, so I decided to give the new owners a try”, Jake explained in a quiet tone while the two of you found your way to a table. “I came here with Jay a couple of times and he agreed it’d be nice to bring you here.”
“You told Jay we’re hanging out?”, you ask softly. You didn’t want Jake to think you were embarrassed of him. Thankfully, he knew you weren’t.
“He’s the reason I kissed you at his party, dummy”, he responded with a playful expression. You laughed, shaking your head. Jake pulled the chair for you and your heart skipped a beat.
“Technically, I kissed you first”, you corrected.
“Only because you backed off the first time”, he responded rolling his eyes. Jake sat across from you with a smile hanging on his lips.
The waiter wasted no time and offered the “nice couple” the menu. It took you a while to decide what to eat, but you were happy with your decision. You chose pasta with wagyu beef, something that reminded you of your childhood — but a lot tastier than your childhood memories.
Your lunch was filled with soft laughs and hand-caressing over the table. It felt way too soon for you to admit something out loud, but your heart was already melting because of Jake.
The two of you had an “argument” about who would pay for lunch — and you lost, because Jake is a real gentleman and wouldn’t let his girl pay for anything! — before walking out of the lovely restaurant and taking a walk down the Han River. You wanted to make a joke about how cliché your first date was, but it felt so perfect that you didn’t have the heart to make fun of it.
Jake seemed upset as the time went by because the two of you only had two hours to spare before going to work. You found a part-time job as a barista in a small coffee shop downtown right after getting into college and stayed there ever since. Jake, on the other hand, jumped from part-time jobs before actually getting hired as a high school physics teacher. He’d only teach during the afternoon, which was a lot more tiring than it sounded. He dropped you off at your job before sadly walking to his.
You got home almost seven p.m. that night. You were so tired, your feet were killing you. For most of the days, things were pretty chill at the coffee shop, but not today. You couldn’t take your break and got home starving, almost chewing your nails on the way back home.
However, your face changed from grumpy to happy as you walked into your shared apartment and found Jake shirtless — as usual — while cooking you dinner. Well, cooking sounded a little odd, since Jake could only cook rice, but he was passionately filling some homemade pizza before shoving it into the oven.
“Hi, babe”, you said while tossing your shoes off your feet. Jake looked at you through the tiny kitchen. Usually, the disposition of your apartment bothered you, because it felt weird to be able to look at the whole kitchen from the hall. But now, looking at Jake cutely cooking for you, it didn’t bother you at all.
“Hi, pretty”, he smiled. He wasn’t gonna say anything, but his heart skipped a beat since you called him babe. “How was work?”
“Tiring”, you sighed. “Whatcha cooking?”, you asked funnily. Jake laughed, showing you the spread dough on the counter.
“Hope you’re craving some pizza, ‘cause that’s what you’re having for dinner”, he said with a big smile. You chuckled and nodded before walking towards him.
You hugged Jake from behind, your hands loose around his waist. Even though you started to “try things out” only a couple of weeks ago, you’ve always been caring towards Jake, but now everything seemed a lot more intense to him. Ah, such a sucker for you.
“It smells good”, you mumbled with your eyes closed.
“It’s not even in the oven yet”, Jake laughed.
“I mean you”, you chuckled. Jake smelled like fresh soap, even though you knew he would probably shower just before going to bed. He felt his cheeks burn as he scoffed.
“You tryin’ to seduce me?”, he asked, masking his amusement behind his humor.
“Depends, is it working?”, you whispered behind his back.
“Unfortunately, yeah”, he sighed. You laughed.
“I’mma take a shower, is that ok with you?”, you asked, letting go of him.
Jake held the urge to say “Only if you let me join”.
“Yeah, sure. Go ahead, pretty.”
“‘Kay.”
You walked out of the shower around ten minutes later, wearing your version of pajamas: some wide cotton shorts and a random t-shirt you found in your closet. Your hair was damp, freshly washed and detangled, the scent of your shampoo intoxicating the room.
Jake was sitting on the couch, scrolling through TikTok while waiting for the pizza to bake. You sat next to him, making him drop his phone and look at you. His hands reached for your legs, bringing them to top his as he massaged your calves. You hummed, closing your eyes and leaning against his shoulder.
“This feels good?”, he asked in a whisper. Something about his tone made your stomach turn, so close to being turned on.
“Yeah”, you whispered back. “You’re good with your hands”, you said after a while of silence, reuniting your courage to say something like that.
Jake laughed and clicked his tongue, shaking his head.
“Yeah, but I’m better with my mouth”, he whispered back.
Your breath got heavier as you lifted your head to face him. His eyes were always almost completely black when he looked at you, his pupils dilated in adoration. Now, however, they were dilated because he desired you so badly.
“Who said so?”, you asked in a shaky breath, trying to sound funny. You failed, only sounding like a psycho girlfriend. Jake laughed, amused to know he could make you swing over your mood.
“I heard it once... But you can always try and tell me differently”, he mumbled before holding your jaw in place. You suppressed a moan when Jake’s lips found yours with eagerness, something that you were about to get used to. You get around to doing something so many times but never finish it.
Your hand squished his on your jaw as his mouth found a different patch. Instead of simply kissing your mouth, Jake’s lips decided to kiss your jawline and neck, inhaling your scent.
“God, Jake...”, you sighed. “It’s so hard to keep my cool when you do this.”
“Then don’t keep it, love”, he groaned before sucking your skin a little harshly.
“I... Don’t want you to regret it when we... You know”, you managed to speak weakly as his lips continued harassing your neck.
“Why would I?”, he asked genuinely, his lips now out of your skin. He looked at you seriously, waiting for your response.
“I don’t know”, you answer with a shrug.
“Are you gonna regret it?”, he asked, caressing your cheek with his thumb. His fingertip reached way too close to your bottom lip, making you anticipate his touch in that area.
“I’m gonna regret it if I don’t let you fuck me now”, you sighed before leaning in to kiss him again.
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iblameashley · 2 months
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A - to - Z's of Simon 'Ghost' Riley
Made a similar list for Konig a while back, figured it was time for Simon / Ghost. This list is hella gay, FYI.
!!!!NSFW!!!!
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A - Aftercare
Simon / Ghost cares a great deal about aftercare regardless if its a one-night stand or a longer term relationship. It will always start with asking how you're doing and what you liked and what you didn't. He'll make sure you're actually okay before he'll ask if you need anything else; water, food or a shower. Though he still struggles with requests for cuddles. Its very intimate for him, but if he likes you, he'll give you a bone crushing cuddle.
B - Body part (their favourite)
Stomach. Simon / Ghost likes guys with a bit of belly fat, something soft and preferably hairy. It's so different from his toned body, and though he'd never admit it to you, it makes him feel happy and calm just laying on it.
C - Cum (anything)
Generally speaking his cum is rather neutral in taste, a hint of salt. But its thick and hot, and he shoots long ropes of it when he cums. Refuses to jerk off while on long missions because he wants to 'save it all' for you.
You don't have to worry about overstimulating him either, he'll do it happily himself until he empties his balls inside you. You'll feel his cock head throbbing inside you as he whimpers and trembles on top of you.
D - Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Really wants to eat your ass out after he's cum in it, but is afraid you'll be disgusted by it and refuse.
E - Experience (how experienced are they?)
On a scale of Virgin Pure – Barracks Bunny? He's a solid 'Took the bloke from the pub home'. He's not adverse to having sex; in fact, he loves it... its the intimacy that people tend to want that freaks him out. Simon / Ghost doesn't know how to reciprocate (or so he tells himself). But he's more than happy to get his rocks off if he fancies a man.
F - Favourite position
Generally speaking, as long as he's on top, he's happy. He loves looking down at your handsome face or even the back of your head as he takes you. That being said, Simon / Ghost is also a big fan of you on your knees. The way you look up at him with his cock in your mouth? Fuck... drives him wild.
G - Goofy (Serious of Humorous)
During sex, this man is on a mission. You are both going to have a good time, even if it kills him. BUT, after sex? After you're thoroughly pleased and unable to walk? This man will treat you to the worst jokes in his shitty-joke roster and there is nothing you can do to escape it.
H - Hair (Body / Groomed / Color)
Dirty-bond / Sandy hair in tufts between his pectorals that runs down his abdomen and into this pants. Keeps his pubes trimmed (but never shaved!) Its incredibly soft, too because Simon / Ghost takes care of his hair.
His ass has a nice dusting that trails down into surprisingly hairy legs. Oddly though, has almost no arm-hair at all.
I - Intimacy
He would tell you he'd rather be waterboarded or have his fingers and toes broken with a hammer than be intimate, but he's a Goddamn liar. He doesn't recognize his own intimate moments, thinking that the things he does for you 'just makes sense', but are actually very sweet deep down. But he does struggle with accepting intimacy. He'll tense at hug, pull away for kisses – you've learned to not be insulted – and tries not to let his heart skip a beat when he looks you in the eyes as he's buried deep inside you.
But at the end of the day, even if he fails – real or imagined – at intimacy, he'll never hurt you. He is very aware of your emotional well-being and he'd be damned to ever raise a hand to you.
J - Jack off
Used to mostly just be a form of release between missions and hook-ups. A means to an end, so to speak. But once he met you? Fuck... the way you looked at him, the way you looked at him when you walked in on him jerking off.
He loves to stroke his cock for you. He'll take it nice and slow, building himself up to an orgasm and then denying himself until you give him permission to release – usually on your face – and he's never been more satisfied with masturbation. Its so much better than his two-minute, violently jerking off somewhere on base experiences.
K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Loves size difference most of all. He'll be your big-strong man if you'll be his charming short king. There is something about the power dynamic that just gets him going. But again, he'd never use his size or strength to hurt you; he wants to feel like all his power is doing something other than killing... and what better way than to pleasure a charming man sexually?
As previously mentioned, chubby guys too. Loves a squishy body to touch and massage. Loves the soft flesh against the marred skin of his body (how do you not pull away from him?!).
Simon / Ghost longs to let go of his need for control and be dominated by a man; but trust is hard earned and he only reserves bottoming for that special-someone.
Has tried a variety of toys and only has a few select he actually likes. pocket masturbators are great compared to his calloused hands, and he's enjoyed a few butt plugs and dildo's, but he's not be able to venture too far with his exploration; there's still a little bit of shame and embarrassment he feels when he uses them (you'll make him get over it...).
L - Location (favorite places to do the do)
Simon / Ghost is a private man in general, so it would always have to be somewhere he felt safe. This would likely be his flat, your flat, his quarters on base or maybe even his office – locked, of course – if he was feeling a bit more adventurous.
As long as you're in the safety and comfort of a flat, though, any and all surfaces are acceptable. Tables, sofa's, counters, the bed or the shower are all perfect places to drive himself into your prostate and make you writhe for him.
M - Motivation (turn on’s)
Simon / Ghost loves it when you reach under his shirt and just gently play with the small of his back. Instant way to get this man in the mood, followed closely by teasing him by slipping fingers under the waist of his pants.
Can't go wrong with a classic, either; give his thighs some attention. Caress and tease slowly up towards his groin and you'll have this man growling like an animal.
Just seeing you being you. Walk around the flat in your lounging clothes, or his hoodie, or even shirtless. Simon / Ghost just enjoys seeing you in your most relaxed state around him since most people aren't.
N - No (wouldn’t do; turn offs)
Wouldn't hurt you. That should go without saying, but its still a deeply rooted fear that he projects onto you. He's a killer after all, so you must be waiting for the day he looses it on you. He won't. Not ever. Not you... not the one man who looks at him like that.
As for things he won't do in bed or let you do? Handcuffs are a no-go. Ever. Same with blindfolding.
Simon / Ghost also don't enjoy hickies, burns, scars or love marks, but that's due to his feelings regarding his scars and burns. Absolutely no choking either, but that also goes along with not hurting you, though he's not a fan of being choked either.
No scat, blood, diaper play, baby talk, age-gaps or age role-play.
O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Simon / Ghost already has a difficult time trying to sub for his lovers, so like hell he's going the pleasure of sucking a man off. He can get lost in the moment as he swallows your cock whole, swirling his tongue around and playing with your foreskin. He will moan and groan over your length and swallow every last drop of your cum.
As for his skill? He's better at killing people for sure, but he'll make sure you get off.
P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Generally speaking, Simon / Ghost would prefer a slower, steadier pace. He wanted to enjoy every last moment of pleasure you're both experiencing. He doesn't take leave often and he doesn't have much time between missions as it is, so he leeches every second of pleasure from every encounter.
He sometimes gets a little too into the pleasure though and will go a bit feral. A need to just pound into you deep and hard until you're both a puddle of sweat and semen stuck to each other.
Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Depends on how you define a quickie. Simon / Ghost isn't one to just blow a load into you in five minutes and run, but if he's on a time constraint... sure. He usually saves quickies for jerking off.
R - Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Simon / Ghost already takes enough risk in his military life, so doesn't take nearly as many in his personal life. As long as your risky suggestions don't include high risk of infections or illness, or harm (obviously), he's open to considering them.
S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
You'll likely get the best hour of your life out of Simon / Ghost. He'll set a pace and stick to it... If he decides to overstimulate himself in the process, you can get another thirty to forty-five minutes out of him.
T - Toys (Own toys? Use them? on a partner or themselves?)
A few dildo and butt plugs, nothing too fancy or large and owns a few different pocket masturbators.
U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Not a teaser, not overly vocal in general. Will grunt and groan, whine a bit when overstimulated, but doesn't really talk outside of a check in. You're safe until he's spent and the bad jokes start.
V - Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Simon / Ghost will grunt rather loudly once he gets into it.
W - Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Would never hurt you or do anything to make you uncomfortable, but loves it when a man beats him off and abuses his foreskin. Beat the man off hard and fast and be ready to take his load when you push him over the edge.
X - X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
6' 4” Tall
Mildly hairy
Bulky
Curved cock
6.5” Hard and foreskin pulls all the way back over his head
Keeps everything tidy down there
Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Before a mission? Low
During a mission? Low
After a mission? High. So very high... he'll find a nice lad to sate him the day he returns home.
Z - Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Simon /Ghost rarely sleeps more than three hours a night on the best of days, to say nothing of the nightmares he has regularly. So even after a long night of fucking and sucking, he's still not likely to fall asleep very quickly; if at all. Assuming he likes you long enough to stay the night, he'll only fall asleep after you have, and he'll be awake long before you as well. He'll probably be gone too, if you aren't dating... but don't worry, he'll leave a note.
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starsomens · 4 months
Note
Could you possibly write a story about how Noah’s girlfriend can’t go on tour with him because she has to work a normal job like retail or something so she gets really depressed and misses him so her best friend (gay guy) calls Noah and they plan to surprise her. Either fluff or smut I’m not picky.
Note: I made a friend based off of one of my friends
warnings: Slightly
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"Look all I'm saying is that you could quit, you work with us and I can have you around any time of the day" he said setting his luggage on the tour bus. He was leaving for another tour and of course came the difficult part of saying goodbye.
"Noah...you know I like my job and how I feel about working." you say sliding your hands up his chest and hook around his neck "I will miss you though" you pout as his lips come down to meet yours in a peck
"then come with me" he whispered
"Noah you know what I'm going to say, now go on" you playfully slap his butt "your fans are waiting for the king"
After saying your goodbyes to Noah, the boys and the rest of the team, you drive yourself back home. No music on the radio, no calls just yet, just some silence. You always wore a happy face when you sent him off, but deep down it really does hurt to see him go. No funny jokes in the car or recalling memories. Pulling up to your house wasn’t any better either, but it was your rest day before going into work tomorrow so you wanted to get some things done and rest up before the hectic week started.
You would’ve gone back to sleep, but you opted to just stay in bed. You didn’t really like falling asleep, knowing that Noah was gone, and when you would wake up, he wouldn’t be there either which kind of made it worse. Stayed in bed for a couple more hours just scrolling through your phone, about two hours later Noah had given you a call
“ hey princess, how are you holding up?” he asked sounding happy to be talking to you.
“ I’m doing all right but the house feels too quiet… I miss you” you sigh
” I miss you too princess. But I’ll be back before you know it at least we’re not traveling outside the country so if you need me to come back just let me know. I’ll leave them run back to the house.” he chuckled.
“ even if your states away, you’d run for me?”
“ I would crawl for you. It’s not like I haven’t been on my knees for before.” You could practically hear him, wiggling his eyebrows through the phone.
“Noah! The rest of the guys are you!” Gently scolded him
“ don’t worry they either sleep or have their headphones on. It’s not like they don’t know how I am with you, so it wouldn’t be a surprise.” he giggled once again. This would definitely be the death of you.
“Oh Getting a call from Derek” you said as your phone buzzes against your hand “ if you want I can call you back. I’ll make the call quick.” he said not wanting to get off the phone with him.
“ no baby it’s okay go have fun your conversation. Knowing Derek he’s probably gonna tell you about his latest hook up.”
“Okay… I love you I’ll talk to you later”
“ I love you more sunshine” he made a sound and blew a kiss through the phone like he usually likes to do “ I’ll keep you updated when we get to our first stop”
“ make sure to tell Bryan to send me all the pictures he takes of you” a lot of pictures to himself, which always pissed you off because it was always the best pictures of Noah
“ I’ll make sure to tell him no go talk to Derek. He’s probably cursing you out knowing you’re not picking up his call right away.
With that said, you hang up the phone and pick up the next call
“ hey there Bestie I feel like ditching work. I’m just going shopping today because of that you caught a cold and gave it to me.” Right off the bat told you his plan no hesitation just like he would typical Derek.
You chuckle and shake your head” not today Derek I think I might want to go to work. Just not really feeling it today.”
“ oh, babes” it finally struck him “ Did Noah leave for tour already?” he asked
“ yeah… not really in the mood to go shopping you know?” You couldn’t help start to feel a massive weight on your chest. Course you miss Noah but you’re also just really sad he wasn't around. You know what came with the package when you would date someone who was in the music industry. And you accepted it....but it never got easier. Some tours felt shorter than others. He's only been gone for some hours and you wanted him back already.
You finally got yourself out of bed, shower and get yourself ready for a day of work. Derek came to pick you up and even brought your usual coffee and breakfast order. He always knew how to sweeten you up, even if it was just a little. Work was as it usually was stubborn customers, long hours, and even longer time staring at the clock, waiting for closing. but it did beat staying at home all by yourself Waiting for Noah. You got to crack jokes about customers with Derek.
It was going really well for the first week or so. You’d get home and take a nice relaxing bath and chat with Noah. Sometimes it was his day off so you got to video call with him and see the sites of the state he was currently in. He had even secretly grabbed merchandise from each store of anything you pointed out and cute. And for that week OK that wasn’t until the next month hit… Derek was doing a phenomenal job. Especially after, He did offer for you to go out to your favorite little drink spot and it honestly sold it nicely. He took him up on the offer. However, by the end of the night he just kept sipping on your now water down drink we’re calling memories about Noah. Some of them having a little too much information then he usually ask you for.
He took you home and made sure that you were inside of your house, and that your door was locked
“ don’t worry Y/N, it’s the first day I promise you will be better and you’ll just be looking forward to him coming home you’ll see” he may have said that with too much confidence….
The next week and a half you would mow around and almost any little thing that reminded me of you would make you tear up. And he wasn’t to complain about his best friend. However, there was only so much that his sanity he could take seeing as that he was now holding sanity for you both.
The only time you seem to feel happier when you had a video call with Noah, but sometimes they were cut short due to him having to go out and perform. Luckily, some of the staff were good friends with you and would video call you during his performances, it was nice that you wish you could have been there in person.
Sometimes you really did regret not taking up on his offer. But you didn’t just want to be on tour as his girlfriend who just tagged along you would’ve felt like you were freeloading away. Oh, how you missed him to go to bed. The way he peered your entire face with kisses whenever you have a nightmare. How he warm up your hands by holding them in his and blowing hot air onto them. You felt like a teenager who missed her crush in a way it wasn’t too far off from that. Going to about 2 1/2 months of you being an absolute dread and depression your best friend had had enough. So during one of your episodes, where you just laid in bed, playing all of your songs on repeat, he made a little phone call to Noah.
You have no idea how you didn’t hear the conversation. All you knew was that you were now in your office job face-to-face with your boyfriend with a large book of roses. If the tour dates were right, he was supposed to be basically on the other side of the country here he was, your jaw was slag as you stared at him, not knowing whether to scream or to jump on him
“ did you miss me princess?” he asked with the sarcastic you finally found the world to move your legs and throw the entire body weight on him which he caught gracefully.
“ of course I missed you you fucking idiot. How Could you ask me something like that?! How are you even here? Why are you even here??!”
You had every question possible, and it was answered with a gentle, the long kiss on your lips. Derek took cans of the bouquet of flowers as your arms wrapped around nose in his around your waist. He pulled your body flush against yours as you were left, only on your tiptoes to reach him. it felt like nearly 100 years without him kissing you were holding you. You wanted to say frozen in the moment for as long as you could. Forever if it was possible. He was so warm and comforting, you felt like you were finally whole again with him in your arms
“ well, if you had to know How I’m here whenever shows had to be delayed due to weather, so I got a quick flight back home. Of course Derek helped me make their arrangements times and flights. He also told me how sad and down your feelings since I’ve been gone I feel awful so I came back.” he smiled at you. “ really this is all because of him he deserves all the credit.”
“Ahem” Derek cleared his throat causing you to finally separate from one another “well go on, enjoy the rest of your day” he said handing you the flowers once more
“What do you mean? I’m still on the shift” you asked confused
“Nope. I spoke with Jan and you’re cleared for the day. I took your shift”
“Derek..” you wrap your arms around your friend and squeeze him tightly "...what did I ever do to deserve a friend like you? This means so much more to me than you think" you sniff
He hugs you back tightly " Honey, I'm your best friend, I know this means everything to you. But don't worry you're filling me in when we do inventory on Friday" he smirks at you with a sassy wink
Noah already had a pay back in mind for all his help. But now He just wanted to spend time with you. Once you leave the building and into the parking lot Noah pulls you close and whispers to you
"I hope you know we aren't sleeping tonight"
"Did you miss me that much?" you nudge him with your body as you stop to open your car and put the flowers in the back seat. You bend into the car to place them securely when you suddenly feel something push against your ass
"Well...let's just say my hand didn't exactly scratch the itch I had" he smirks as you slowly rise back up making sure to push against him more as you stood
"Well, we cant have that now can we?" you pat his chest returning the smile
"And I think you can say the same for yourself huh princess?"
"The sooner we get into the bedroom, the sooner we'll find out"
That day Noah is very sure he ran 2 red lights on the way home. But coming home to you was all worth it. To be in your arms at the end of the day, he'd give up everything, every time, if it was for you.
「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @fvckmeorchokeme @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @itsmrsfuentes @then-ill-just-pretend @lma1986 @daylightlvrs @darling-arwen-rose
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missmonsters2 · 1 year
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Window of The Morning
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Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Summary: Certain hours of the day are Wanda's favorite. 2 hours of the day are the entire culmination of everything you and her have shared.
Warning/Tags: ): closeted gay history. Exes to lovers. Unresolved trauma.
Note: Wow, I really said okay halloween is over. Time to be both happy and sad. Will I continue this? Whomst knows. Open to it but it can be read as a stand alone.
Genre: Romance & Soft Angst
Count: ~1.6k
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6AM is Wanda's favorite time of the day. Well, 6AM to 8AM.
2 hours of the 24 hours of the day were all that she really cherished. Wanda isn't a morning person at all, and she'll sleep in until at least 11:30AM if given the opportunity. So, it must be strange that her favorite hours of the day are so early. 
But there's a method to the madness of it all. The madness is you; the method is that 6AM to 8AM is the only time you're soft with her. 
Wanda has her eyes open, watching as you stir awake before lifting your head up to look at her alarm clock. You sigh before plopping your head back down, scooting your backside closer to her. Pulling her arm over you, you hum in warm contentment and fall back asleep. 
This was what she looked forward to every other day. You liked to think you randomly showed up at Wanda's apartment, but Wanda knows the pattern. 
Wanda pushes her luck, stroking the bare skin of your stomach and the edge of your arm. You let out a murmur, pushing back against more into her. 
Wanda thinks it'd be so nice if it was always like this. But she knows it won't. 
Wanda knows that at 8:01AM, you'll wake up regardless if she turns off her alarm. And once you wake up, the magic of the early morning 2 hours she has of your hidden soft nature will be gone. Settling in for the two hours, she lets her thoughts drift. 
In many ways, you were still the same person she knew in high school. You were quiet, almost somber. You were compatible in that way with Wanda because she couldn't stand people who talked just for the sake of hearing their own voice. 
But in high school, you were also witty and sarcastic, and it had always made Wanda laugh in a way she couldn't in public. Wanda has no doubt that you still were, but she just no longer had the privilege of seeing that from you. 
About an hour in, you turn around in her arms, scooting as close as possible, face buried into Wanda's naked chest. Your arms wrap around her, your warm palms against her back. 
Wanda lets her eyes flutter close; even if she chants mindlessly, she can't fall asleep. 
Right person, wrong time.
Wanda is starting to believe maybe that was what the two of you were. In school and now, it was always you, but the timing never seemed right. 
And it was never going to be right because you can't forgive Wanda.
8:01AM.
You open your eyes, catching Wanda's gaze. You linger for exactly 3.7 seconds before you untangle yourself from her. You sit up and look at the clock as if you don't already know it's 8:01AM, swinging your legs over the edge. You begin picking up your articles of clothing without saying anything, leaving Wanda to just watch you. 
"You don't have to go, you know," Wanda interjects as she sits up, letting the covers fall from her chest and onto her lap. "I can make coffee and breakfast." She catches you gazing at her nakedness for a moment, as if debating for a morning round before you disappear off, but you merely shake your head a little, turning away to find your shirt. 
"No, it's fine," you say shortly, but there's no bite to your tone. "I should get going."
Wanda sighs. "You don't always have to run off in the morning. There's no harm in staying."
"I'm not running," you say a little more curtly this time. 
"Uh-huh," Wanda hums.
"I have things to do." You frown only momentarily before your face slips into an unreadable mask.
"Okay," Wanda says. 
"I'm serious," you huff. "I have a—" You stop short, and Wanda doesn't say anything because they both know you have no obligations on Thursdays. 
"I have things to do," you settle for instead, resuming to put your shirt back on. "Besides, shouldn't this be familiar? I used to be running out of your house before anyone woke up, and you've turned down plenty of offers for breakfast at my house."
The tone is biting, and Wanda sighs. She gets out of bed, grabbing her shirt to put it on and stands before you while you pretend not to notice her. 
"Are you going to keep holding that over me?" Wanda asks. "We were teenagers. I was scared—you have no idea what my family is like."
"Whose fault is that?" You turn away, sitting so you can put your socks on. "I knew you were scared, and contrary to your belief, I do know what your family is like. You think I haven't seen your dad publicly shame that gay couple that recently moved into town our junior year and force them to move right back out?"
"Then why are you giving me such a hard time?" Wanda sighs. "You act like I broke your heart but you broke up with me, remember?"
"Because you did break my heart," you seethe, your jaw clenching and unclenching. "I wasn't asking that you come out to your parents, but some leniency between us could've gone a long way. We couldn't pretend to be friends, I couldn't say hi to you in the hallways, and I couldn't talk to any of my friends about us. Every date we had was either holed up in my room very late after my parents went to bed or 3 towns away."
"Because I couldn't risk my parents finding out!" Wanda stresses. "Did you not see what happened to Pietro when he came out? My parents were keeping a close eye on me like it was going to be another one of those twin things."
You sigh. It felt like just another of those same arguments you had with Wanda in your sophomore and junior years. There had been a moment that seemed like Wanda might've been open to coming out until Pietro did first. Watching her own twin brother be kicked out of his home and cut off had been terrifying for Wanda. After that, she wouldn't even budge an inch when it came to the two of you. 
"Wanda, I loved you," you forcefully remind yourself to say it in the past tense because you can't even allow yourself what it would mean to still love Wanda after all this time. "But I never felt so alone than when we were together. And then watching you accept our break-up so easily and for you to date Vision just three days after was one of the worst things I had ever experienced."
"Do you think it was any easier than seeing you with Yelena a week after?" Wanda frowns. 
You merely shrug as you finish putting your clothes back on. 
"I'm not the girl I was in high school anymore," Wanda says softly. "You would see that if you just spent some time with me outside our nightly activities and stopped running in the morning."
You give Wanda a soft, sad smile. The problem was that you did see Wanda was different. The fact alone that she was out and didn't care anymore about who knew was surprising. When Natasha mentioned in passing that Wanda was also out to her parents, and that things have been strained between them since. It was even more shocking. 
You couldn't really fathom how you'd ended in your current situation with Wanda. Years without her just to only bump into her at Natasha's bachelorette had suddenly brought you back to when you were 15, and it was not a comfortable feeling. 
"Yeah, you're not," you acknowledge quietly. "But I'm also not the girl I was when I was 15. I'm not the girl who will put your needs over mine. I don't know what you want, Wanda, but this is all I have to give you. If it's not enough, then let's stop." You feel something horribly crunching inside you at your own words. You can't get over your inability to hate or forgive Wanda fully. A part of you wishes you'd never attended Natasha's bachelorette. 
You watch Wanda suck in a quick breath, something flashing over her eyes before it quickly melts away into a passive mask. She's always been too good at hiding her feelings, and you suppose she's had to with the family she's had. 
There is a moment when you think Wanda is finally fed up with you, finally tired of trying to reconcile when you're nothing but uncooperative and, quite frankly—mean. You think Wanda will tell you not to come back, and it might be like high school all over again, except you expect it this time. That, somehow, it'll be a confirmation of what you've been thinking all these years: Wanda didn't love you. At least not enough. 
But Wanda merely licks her lip and says, "I'll see you tonight."
You feel like mismatched puzzle pieces, sawed and created by Wanda, therefore, unable to truly fit together. Jagged points and curves, trying to make it work, but you feel unstable, like you're one loose piece from crumbling, as you nod contritely and turn to walk out of her apartment. 
Wanda shuts the door behind you quietly, letting her forehead fall against it as she closes her eyes and lets out a puff of breath. While you're absolutely mean to her, you haven't told her that you never want to see her again. So, she knows that it'll take time. 
She looks at her kitchen clock. 
20 hours until 6AM comes again.
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freshbakedbreadstick · 7 months
Text
No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter Five
Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader
Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader
Richie Jerimovich x F!Platonic!Reader
Summary: The past seems to repeat itself and this awful memory seems to provide some much needed context to your actions.
Warnings:  All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of death, funerals, toxic relationships, grief, angst, strained relationships, minor injuries, arguments/yelling matches, details of anxiety/panic attacks, bad coping mechanisms, mental health issues, running away, addiction, interventions. This is literally just pure angst again im so sorry (not really (: ).
Word Count: 5k (sorry, she is a long one!)
A/N: I wrote this while procrastinating packing to move into my dorm LOLLL i move in a few days but im too anxious to even start packing <3 anyways this one is another heavy one and a long one too, so fun ! I hope you all enjoy because she was surprisngly difficult to write and edit bc my imposter syndrome and chronic perfectionism is out to get me ! ! Have a slay n gay day ily all ! 
Taglist: @marysucks-blog @shinebright2000 @jadeittic
MASTERLIST
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It was a cold and cloudy day in March, fitting for a funeral. There was snow on each corner of the sidewalk, partially melted, but the cold air that made your lips burn when you stepped outside threatened more snowfall to come.
Today marked two weeks since you got the phone call that changed your entire life.
It was only two weeks after Mikey was found dead on the State Street Bridge and they already got him ready to be put into the ground. 
You stared out the window, silent, and watched the life that occurred outside. A man helped his son get out of their car, both in matching hats and scarves, a teen with a backpack passed by with their friends, laughing and jumping, a tree swayed, leaves still gone. 
“Hey, sweetheart, are you ready?”
You didn’t respond.
Your father placed his hand onto your shoulder, “Are you ready?”  
You sighed, letting your breath fog up the cold window pane in front of you. 
Most days, you sat on the only wooden dining chair that was saved from your and Mikey's apartment and looked outside the window. You noticed things you normally took for granted, like the view of snowfall during sunset and the way the trees swayed when a gust of wind blew. 
Finally, you stood up, feeling your dad's hand slip off your shoulder. You didn't bother to smooth out your black dress, letting the wrinkles set in the fabric. Meanwhile, the stockings you wore under pinched you as you moved, but you didn’t care enough to adjust them either. 
"Yea…” you responded at last, voice thick and scratchy.
Your parents mumbled quietly to each other as they locked the door, stealing not so subtle glances over to you as you stood in the middle of the path down the front door, looking at the now empty street. 
Everyone around you just seemed to keep on asking you the same question: "Are you ready to…" but you didn't know. You didn't know if you were ready to face death. But you did know that you felt no panic, sadness, guilt, fear, anger, happiness, or… anything really. 
‘I guess it’s better to feel nothing than something,’ you thought to yourself.
“Let’s get in the car now, okay?” 
You looked over to your mom, who approached you and gently grabbed your forearm, starting to lead you to your parents’ car. But you dug your heels into the ground making your mom jump as she suddenly jerked back. 
“I want… I want to drive myself.”
Your mother looked at you, eyes pleading. She then glanced at your dad, who softened and sighed. 
“Sweetie, i don’t think that is a good idea-”
“Please… i just… I need some time alone before I go in…”
Your parents shared a glance before your mom slowly loosened her grip on your arm. You slowly began to walk away from her, pulling your arm out of her grip. 
“We’ll follow you,” your dad said, voice steady but still anxious. 
You nodded and headed towards your car. The thought of being alone terrified you in general since the news of Mikey broke, but having a small moment alone in the car sounded heavenly after not being left physically alone, at all, for the past two weeks. You didn’t sleep alone, eat alone, or even shower alone; someone was always there either right next to you or right outside the door. While it was nice to have people around you during this time, you started feeling suffocated and pitied rather than supported. 
The drive was silent. You didn’t bother to turn on the radio or take off your thick coat or even play any of the cds Mikey had burned for you as teenagers like you normally did. Nothing was normal anymore anyways, so why bother?
But regardless, the silence was, in some way, comforting. It granted you the smallest bit of breathing space you knew you needed before you would face death itself.
After parking outside the funeral home, you sat in your seat. The car was off and it was silent as you sat there, not feeling particularly anything, just sort of numb. And for the first time in a while, you felt like you would be okay. It didn’t hurt anymore, just felt numb, and that seemed like progress to you. 
A knock outside your window made you jump and turn around. You expected to see your mom or your dad waiting for you, but was surprised to see Richie instead.
You cleared your throat and rolled your shoulder back, holding your head up high like you normally did, before you got out.
As you started to step out, you smiled at him, “Well don’t you look fine as a peach.”
Richie smiled softly for a brief second before it fell back down into a frown that made the wrinkles around his mouth deepen. He looked unwell, with heavy bags and a gaunt face, making him appear sick. 
While you analyzed him, he did the same for you. He scanned your face and body, seeing the way you continued to be the person he knew you as, even during a time in which nothing made sense anymore for anyone. Your shoulders were square and your head was high, making you look less like a grieving girlfriend and more like a CEO. This made him shiver. 
But regardless, he held his hand out for you to take, helping you up and out of your car. As you locked your car, he began to talk.
“Drove here alone?” he said, voice gravelly. 
“Yea… I needed to be alone.”
He nodded silently. He then took your hand, still in his own, and wrapped it around his arm. He led you to the sidewalk, toward the funeral home, steps slow and purposeful. 
“Everyone is here but you… you don’t have to talk to anyone, okay? If anyone bothers you, come to me.”
You chuckled dryly, “Thanks, but don't worry about me. I know this is hard for you too.”
Before he could retaliate to your words, you cleared your throat and walked a little faster. 
You watched as your parents, who were up ahead of you, greeted Natalie and Pete. You saw the way they moved inside after speaking to her, as if stuck in mud, around the sister of the man you loved. 
They both briefly turned back to look at you, eyes watering and drooping, before anxiously disappearing into the awaiting crowd of family members.
You paused, making Richie also pause beside you, turning to look at you. He saw the way your eyes scanned up the bricks of the building and then back down to the wilted ferns in pots next to the front doors. Your eyes, for a brief second, filled with tears, making him open his mouth before shutting it upon seeing you blink them away. 
You cleared your throat and began to move again, seemingly fine, until your heels began dragging on the pavement. So Richie silently moved his arm up to support you and looked away, staring off to the side. He didn't want you to see the way his eyes had started to tear up as he saw through your facade.
Natalie had focused her gaze on you just after your parents left, face in a permanent concerned frown that made her look more like a mother than anything else, before nodding softly to you, “Hi sweetie… are you ready?”
Were you ready?
“I just…” you began, mouth drying up the second you began to talk.
Natalie nodded at you anxiously, reaching over to take your hand in her own. The calluses she had from years of cleaning up after everyone rubbed soothingly into your own hand.
You shrugged, “...I just feel numb.”
Beside her, Pete winced. Natalie shot him a small glare before softening up as she turned back to you, “It’s okay, you're free to stay out here if you need some space, okay? Whatever it is that you need, let us know and we can help…”
Wordlessly, you rubbed your thumb into her hand and turned to look inside the hallway. A couple family members had already spotted you, their once staring gazes averting themselves from your frame as they noticed you caught them watching. Hushed voices that whispered to one another died down to either silence or near silent whispers as they stole glances at you and Richie walking inside.
You turned and gave Natalie a small smile, "Don't worry about me, are you doing ok-"
"Oh, there you are!!!!" A voice interrupted you, exclaiming loudly. 
You reeled around to the noise and made eye contact with Donna, who was pushing through the crowd and rushing forward to you. Fast.
Your eyes widened. 
Too fast. 
Her body was a blur as she approached you. 
Like a bullet.
In an instant, that moment of breathing space you had in the car disappeared and all that numbness flew out the window, being replaced by intense panic. 
The room started to spin, making your eyes widen as she stood in front of you, speaking what seemed to be gibberish. 
"Shit," Richie mumbled, but his voice was invisible to you. 
All you saw was Donna, hair wild and clothes wrinkled. Her hands moved wildly as she talked, voice so loud in your ears that it felt like your eardrums would pop.
"Mom!" Natalie yelped beside you, finally taking you out of the trance you were in by pushing her body in between you and Donna. 
Donna gasped, speaking hushed but angrily at Natalie, "Natalie, what are you doing? Don't you see I'm trying to talk to her- What do you mean I'm overwhelming her?! She's fine, if she had a problem, she would tell me, isn't that right?"
You saw her peek over Natalie's shoulder, eyes searing a hole into your face, "Right?" 
Your throat tightened. 
"Donna, how about we go ahead and sit so the services can start, okay?" Your mother had rushed over and behind Donna, putting her hands on the erratic woman’s shoulders before steering her away from you. 
Your mom cast you a concerned glance as she redirected Donna away from you, letting her blabber on and on to her about the decor being different and the beautiful flowers they got set up for the service. 
But all you did was stare back, breaths staggered and eyes focusing back only to see all eyes on you. 
Natalie let out a shuddered wheeze, taking the initiative to redirect everyone watching into the room where the services would be taking place. Slowly, their eyes turned away. 
"You ok?" Richie's voice seemed to finally register in your brain. 
You whipped your head to him, "Uhm yea… are you?"
In front of him, he saw the way you rearranged your body language back to its "normal state". Your shoulders rolled back again and your head was held high. But this time, your face was blank and did nothing to show emotion. 
Richie nods, "Let’s just, uh, wait until everyone goes in, ok?"  
You took a shallow breath and blinked your eyes, adjusting to the dim, warm lighting of the building. The entire place felt warm from the artificial fireplace on the left wall, facade made of rich brown oak. The furniture matched in wood, feeling dated but comforting, like a grandmother's house. It made the panic in your body slowly melt away, being replaced by the numb feeling again.
You looked at the yellowish-orange patterned wallpaper and brown wood trimming on the walls and snickered to yourself, catching Richie's attention.
"This place looks like a small, hole in the wall restaurant that's maintained by a family. Mikey loves this kind of family style decor…" 
Richie squeezed his eyes shut, "Yea… he does." 
You watched as everyone filed into the next room, recognizing familiar faces like Fak, cousin Michelle, and Uncle Jimmy. You continued to scan the crowd, not seeing the way Natalie nodded towards Richie, signaling him to take you inside with everyone. 
You let yourself be guided behind the crowd, watching everyone who knew Mikey sit down in the chairs that were set up. Donna was sitting in the front next to your parents, still talking. Beside her were empty seats. There was one, two, three, four, and five; one for you, Richie, Natalie, Pete, and Carmy.
Carmy.
You paused.
"Where's Carmy?" 
Richie stopped moving and grimaced. 
Next to you, Natalie linked your free arm into her own, "He uh… he might come by later." 
"Did he ever respond to any of you? I sent him a photo of the service paper but he never responded to me." 
"Uh…" Richie was seemingly at a loss for words. 
Natalie sighed and looked at Richie before responding, "He didn't to me either. Didn't pick up any of my calls."
The panic started up again, slowly swirling deep in your belly, making you suddenly start to speak at the speed of light, "What? Why? Who wouldn't come to their brother's funeral?"
Natalie gulped, voice shaking as she tried redirecting you, "Hey sweetie, how about we go inside and then wait and see if he comes-" 
"I mean, everyone tried to get in contact with him so it's not like none of us didn't try." 
"Yea, your right, but maybe he is running late and was busy-" 
"If he was running late he would've let us know, i know he would." 
The panic made your breathing pick up, making you lightheaded as you took in gulps of stuffy, warm air. It was perfumed like flowers and mothballs, making you cough lightly. 
Michelle, who was seated towards the entrance of the room, turned to you, as did a couple others, as your voice started to increase in volume. It was unbeknownst to you that you began to speak louder and louder, loud enough that people around you could overhear. 
Richie said your name, stern but still worried, "Hey, take a breath and lower your volume."
"What do you mean? I'm fine?" 
Natalie just shook her head, "This was a mistake, we shouldn't have forced her to come."
You jerked your head to her, "Natalie, it’s fine. Besides, I wanted to come." 
Her shoulders sagged, "If this is too much for you, you are free to go-" 
"Please, I'm fine!" You responded, speech getting faster and faster, "You don't have to worry about me like you're my mom." 
"I know I know, but I worry about you regardless, you're my best friend!" 
"Natalie, I'm okay I swear-" 
Richie whisper-yelled at you two, "Let's take this back out, neither of you are okay right now."
"Richie I swear I'm fine, I just want to see my dead boyfriend in his casket!" You whisper-yelled back as you stomped a foot down.
At this point, others had begun turning to look at you. Natalie flushed, noticing the stares while Richie groaned softly, taking your arm and dragging you away from the entrance and to the front door. 
"Your obviously not okay, just stand here and take some fucking breaths." Richie whispered, voice stern. 
You blinked, letting yourself get pulled like a ragdoll. You stumbled as you leaned into the doorway, feeling shame set in your body. 
That was a new feeling. 
"I'm… i'm…" you began, blinking wildly as your face flushed and your chest tightened. 
"Listen, I know this is hard but don't force yourself to do this for any one of us, okay? You can sit out here and none of us will blame you or be upset. We all have our own ways of grieving and if staying away is yours, then do it. You don't need our acceptance in order to grieve in your own way." 
The tangent Richie went on felt so out of character for him that it made you go silent as you watched him enunciate every word. Natalie trailed behind him, holding onto her body with wide eyes as she too listened to his speech, both moved and confused.
With a choked breath, you responded, "Okay, I'm sorry."
Richie's tensed shoulders and furrowed brows softened. He saw the way you looked down and away from him, body drooping. For a split second, he saw through the demeanor you had been putting on since you got out of the car and saw who you really were: the grieving love of Mikey's life, terrified of what life was going to be like moving forward without him. 
Natalie reached over and rubbed your arm, before turning to Richie, "It's starting, you can go in if you would like…" 
Richie nodded grimly, looking at the floor for a brief second before reaching forward, taking your cheeks into his hand and giving your hairline a small peck. 
"You're not alone with this… we are here." 
You looked at him, a cross of confusion and relief written all over your face, making him hold back a laugh when he noticed it. Upon hearing his laugh mixed with a cough, you chuckled softly to yourself. Natalie was the only one not laughing, but still had a small smile on her face as she watched you two. 
“God this is so weird, are you a wise old man now or something?” You joked, gently pushing Richie’s shoulder.
Richie snorted and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, “Ah it’s nothing, just something i learned… don’t think it’s gonna be this way all the time!”
The three of you smiled at one another, right up until Fak interrupted the sweet moment. 
“Hey guys… uh, the service is starting…”
Richie rocked his jaw, the smile he had disappearing from his face. He turned to Fak, annoyed already by him interrupting, “Listen man-”
Natalie loudly cleared her throat, narrowing her eyes at Richie for a second as a warning, making him trip up on his words. 
Richie coughed again and looked away, mumbling to himself about how annoying Fak was. Natalie just rolled her eyes and turned to Fak, smiling sweetly at him.
“Thank you, we’ll join you in a sec.” 
You watched them all interact with one another, some of the closest people in Mikey’s life that ended up becoming some of the closest people in your own life, but in this moment they felt so far away, emotionally and physically. The random moment of peace between you, Natalie, and Richie was fleeting and reality brought you back down to the present moment, reminding you where you were and why you were here. 
Just seconds ago it felt like a regular everyday moment where the three of you talked, waiting for Mikey to turn around the corner or come in from another room and join you, smirking like he always did. He would wrap his muscular arm around you, pulling you into his side and start to joke around with Richie. He would tap Natalie on her shoulder, acknowledging her, and bring Fak over with a laugh, joining all of you together with ease. Any annoyance and discomfort would just disappear around Mikey; he just knew what to say and what to do to bring everyone, even those with differences, together. 
But that would never happen again. 
Mikey was dead and that would never happen again. 
He would never hold you, pressing his body warmth against you, he would never kiss you, gently guiding your face with his large hand, and he would never love you, ever again. 
Your body seemed to finally catch up with the cocktail of emotions you have been feeling for the past weeks and settled on one to focus on: panic. 
It crawled up your throat, squeezing it in a way that made you feel as if any second now, you would be on the floor, clawing at the rug as you struggled to breathe. But you knew that as long as you didn’t let it overwhelm you, convince it that everything was ok, you would be fine. 
So you were going to do anything you needed to do to not let it overwhelm you again.
“Uh, you two head in, okay? I need a second alone.” you said, making them turn to you. 
With a clearing of your throat, you perked up, smiling, as if nothing that had just occurred even happened. Natalie looked at you, taken somewhat aback and concerned, but didn’t push further. Richie was the same, confused but didn’t want to say or do anything that would make you break down. 
“You sure you don’t want any of us here, we are more than happy to-” Natalie began, but you interrupted her by gently moving a strand of hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear.
“I’m okay, I'll join you in a second. Thank you both for being here with me.” you then brought them both into a gentle embrace, speaking clearly. 
Natalie and Richie exchanged a worried glance behind your back, both struggling to put on a smile to face you when they pulled back. 
Richie began to move to the room where the service had started, “Let us know if you need anything. Text us or call us or just say our name and we will be there.” 
You nodded and shooed them playfully off, leaving yourself standing against the doorway. The doors of the room where service had started closed behind them with a dull thud, leaving you truly alone in the entryway of the funeral home.
Your shoulders and smile dropped, eyes glazing over as you did so. With your heart continuing to race in your chest, you had no choice but to start pacing back and forth. The panic was starting to become too much to control so you tried your hardest to count your breathing, desperate to get it back into control. 
“Fuck…” you whimpered to yourself, feeling tears start to well in your eyes. 
You furrowed your brows and bit your lip, hard. You didn’t want anyone to see you cry, you didn’t want to be pitied. 
Suddenly, the doors opened wide, making you gasp and jump back, cold hands reaching to wipe any tears before you turned to see who was exiting. 
Donna came stumbling out, shushing someone inside, before closing the doors behind her. She sniffed loudly, pushing away her hair from her face right as she locked eyes with you. 
She frowned, continuing to stare at you as she walked forward to where you stood with red rimmed eyes and untouched makeup. She then moved to rifle through her purse, digging for something. 
You watched her silently, feeling your bottom lip quiver as she swayed back and forth.
You continued to watch as she pulled out a cigarette and a lighter, placing the cigarette between her red painted lips and lighting it aflame. With a deep drag and smoke sigh, she finally turned away from you.
She looked outside, staring at the gray clouds and half melted snow. It was getting colder and colder as the evening progressed, making her breaths of smoke even smokier as she breathed out. 
You turned, deciding that it was better to go inside than stand awkwardly around the mother of your boyfriend, whom you didn’t have the greatest relationship with. But right as you took a step, Donna called your name.
You glanced back at her, seeing her stumbling away from you but holding an unlit cigarette out. You were frozen to the spot, unsure whether or not to grab it and join her or go inside. But she seemed to answer that for you when she spoke up.
“Come on, I know you smoke. I’ve seen you and Carmy sneak out to smoke together sometimes during family dinners.”
You winced, feeling your cheeks heat up at having your behavior noticed by the one person you didn’t want to know, but moved forward to accept it regardless. 
As you placed the cigarette on your lips, she reached forward and lit it for you. The deep drag you took filled your lungs, making the chilly air from outside feel much more bearable. 
The two of you just stood there, side by side and silent, together, smoking. 
You burned about halfway through your cigarette before Donna spoke up, making your heart stop at her words. 
“You know… my son died, so I don't know why you are acting like you're the only one who is hurting.”
She threw the stub of her cigarette on the ground and stomped it with her shiny patent leather heel. With arms crossed, she looked at you and, with a low voice, she continued, “Everyone is just flocking to you and when no one gives you attention, you just make a scene and get them all back to you.”
Your entire body went cold.
“My poor Natalie is dealing with the death of her brother and all you do is make her wait hand and foot for you.”
Upon hearing this, all the fear in your body melted away and was replaced with burning hot anger. You knew her words were bullshit, but hearing her talk about Natalie like that, knowing how she treats her, made you clench your jaw.
In a surge of bravery, you retaliated, “Donna, how can you say that?”
She scoffed, “Please, stop acting like you are an angel who has done nothing wrong. You don’t have Mikey or anyone else here to protect you.”
Your mouth drops silently open letting the cig fall from your lips and to the ground, snuffing itself. You scanned her face with your fists balling against your side, seeing nothing but a smug look on her face as she ridiculed you.
With a sharp breath, you began, “You have never treated Natalie like a daughter. You're the one who made her the maid of your family. She practically raised Carmy and does everything for everyone. You made her act like an adult ever since she was a kid and, like everyone else, I had kept quiet about it for so many years just so we wouldn’t upset you. But I'm tired of it, this is the last straw.”
Donna rolled her eyes, “Oh puh-lease-”
But you interrupted her and continued, “So don’t act like you are suddenly concerned with how she is being treated, you never cared when you yelled at her over every little thing, so don’t start now.”
Donna looked at you, dropping her arms and glaring, “I bust my ass constantly for my children, I don't need someone like YOU pretending like you know everything-.”
“Donna, I've been around you since I was in elementary school. I grew up with your kids and around you. I know EXACTLY how you are.”
She clenched her jaw, eyes narrowing. 
But you didn’t stand down, not anymore, “None of your children are saints, but they try so fucking hard to be the best they can be given they had you as a mother. But it’s not like you would ever see that, huh?”
“All Mikey ever did was stress out, because of you! He tried to self medicate with pills and drugs and got addicted, because of you!” Donna suddenly screeched, quickly trying to divert the blame onto you.
You laughed out loud, “I’ve seen him do a couple things once or twice but Mikey was not an addict!”
Donna cackled, shaking her head furiously, “He was!! Ask Richie! Ask anyone! He was an addict, all because of you!!!”
You stepped back, eyebrows furrowing, taken aback at her words. Sure, Mikey was a bit erratic and loud, but that was his personality. He was just that type of person. And yes, he had tried a couple things before and even told you about his experience with them, but he never once did them around you or even mentioned doing them multiple times. He had vices, like smoking and having some drinks, but he wasn’t an addict.
Before you can further question, the doors were pushed open and Richie came rushing out, “What is going on?!”
You opened your mouth to respond but stopped when you heard Donna sob.
You flipped your head around to look at her but were greeted by a sight that made all that panic come barreling toward you again, replacing the anger. Donna was curled into herself, clutching onto her arms, with fat tears rolling down her face. Her sobs shook her body so violently that Richie rushed over and wrapped his arms around her to steady her. 
"What happened!?" Richie repeated, voice softer this time but just as worried as before. 
He looked at you with wide eyes as Donna sobbed, barely speaking through her gasps, "I tried to be the best mother for my children. I don't need you blaming me for my mistakes on the day of my son's funeral." 
As you watched her speak, your veins filled with ice. Only one phrase repeated in your head over and over as Richie looked between the two of you with wide eyes, ‘You fucked up, you need to leave. You fucked up, you need to leave. You fucked up, you need to leave. You fucked up, you need to leave.You fucked up, you need to leave…’
Richie called your name, making you look at him, "What happened?" 
Nothing came from your mouth but a strangled wheeze. You were frozen to the spot, pinned there by Donna's crying and Richie's stare. 
You fucked up, you needed to leave. 
Behind you, the door swung open again and your parents came rushing out with Natalie in tow. A couple peering eyes tried to look out from their seats inside, but the door closed on them before they could put together what was happening. 
"Mom!?" Natalie gasped out, rushing forward to Donna. 
Richie repeated what he said before, but you didn't hear his words. The only thing you could focus on was the way his eyes looked while staring at you, like you were a stranger. 
Donna continued to speak, saying something that was drowned out from your ears, replaced by silence and the deep throb of your heart beat. 
Right before your Mom could reach out to grab your arm, you spoke, "I need to leave, I need some time." 
You pulled the car keys from your jacket pocket and ran. 
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cowgurrrl · 3 months
Text
Please, Let Me Go
Summary: “In all these years, you never believed I loved you. And I did. I did so much. I did love you. I even loved your hate and your hardness.” - Tennessee Williams [1.1k]
Author’s note: This one goes out to @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel who loves Adam as much as I do 🫶
Warnings: Pre-Joel, probably incorrect wound care, PTSD symptoms, mentions of nightmares, “maybe in another life, we’d be happy”
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2006
“You gotta be more careful,” Adam says as he wraps your forearm in gauze.
“It wasn’t my fault.”
“Did I say it was?” He asks, raising his eyebrows at you, and you sigh. You cut yourself on barbed wire coming back into the QZ after a run, and Adam caught the blood on your jacket before you could hide it. He sat you down at the kitchen table with the first aid kit and gentle hands. The yellow kitchen light shines against his messy brown hair and the square, taped-together glasses on his nose. “FEDRA’s getting antsy. That’s why the barbed wire went up. I just want you to know what’s up.”
“I know.” You say, and a ghost of a smile floats over his lips.
“Then, don’t shoot the messenger.” He teases. You roll your eyes, and he kisses the clean bandage covering your stitches to make it up to you. You grab his hand and run your thumb over the unset fracture in his metacarpal bones that only you can still identify. He smiles and scoots his chair closer to you to fully relish the sudden attention.
“Jane asleep?” You whisper, and he nods.
“Told her you’d tuck her in before we went to bed.”
“Good.” You say, copying his smile, as you lean in to kiss him. It’s lazy and the most unromantic of situations, blood-stained towels lingering on the table, but neither of you cares. You squeeze his hand and pull away to kiss his cheek. “What story d’you guys read tonight?”
“Cinderella,” he says, and you hum. There aren’t a ton of perks to smuggling, but sometimes you do get cool things like the battered old copy of fairy tales. Jane loves hearing them as much as Adam loves reading them. He says it reminds him of when he did story time with his kindergarteners. “She asked if that’s how we met.”
“At a ball?”
“Oh, yeah. She’s convinced I found your glass slipper, and that’s why I wait up for you when you go out without me,” he says. “To make sure you’ve got all your shoes or something.”
“God, I love her so much.” You groan from the cuteness, and he chuckles.
“She’s a good one.” He says.
“I guess, one day, we’re gonna have to tell her how we actually came to be.”
“Tell her all about how you rejected me after our first date.”
“I didn’t reject you. I said it could be confusing for her.”
“And I said kids understand more than we give them credit for.”
“You’re such a teacher.”
“You love it.” He says, and you take a deep breath. Your hand slips in his momentarily, but he doesn’t let you get far. “What?” He asks quietly, like he’s scared of you getting too distant.
“Do you remember your first impression of me?” You ask, and he smiles.
“Of course I do. I remember thinking you were beautiful and strong and smart. ‘S why I asked you out in the first place.”
“And after the Outbreak? What’d you think of me then?” You ask, a little hesitant, and he nods.
“You really wanna know my first thought when I saw you and Jane walk into the shelter that day?” He asks, and you nod. “I thought there might still be some good left in the world if you two were in it. And you don’t have to believe that. I know you probably won’t, but it’s true.” You try to take his words at face value, but you can’t. You think it might always be like this. You don’t know if there is a way to change it. “Do I get to know what you thought of me? Before and after?”
“I thought you were sweet and charming. And I remember thinking you were someone I wanted in my life just because of how you carried yourself. I was really disappointed when you were Jane’s teacher and not because I thought you were a bad teacher.” You say.
“And after?”
“I think… I remember how shocked I was that you were even alive. And I wanted to ask if you were okay and how you’d made it to the QZ, but I was so focused on Jane. I still am,” you say. “I’m sorry. I should’ve checked on you.”
“I probably wouldn’t have even told you what happened. I wasn’t ready.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”
“You don’t have to be,” he squeezes your hand. “I just want you to know you’re not alone. We all had to do bad things to stay alive.” You shake your head and look down at your feet to avoid his eyes. He doesn’t flinch. He’s gotten good at dealing with your emotions and weathering them with you. You just wish you could find the words to talk about them. “You’re not alone. We can talk whenever you’re ready, and if you’re not, that’s okay.” He says again.
“I’m trying. I just-“
“I know, I know. I know you’re trying. I’m not asking for anything else, okay?” He asks, and you nod. “I just need you to try with me.”
“Okay.” You whisper, and he kisses you again.
“I do wish we would’ve gotten to go on more dates before everything. Real dates. Not just drops or stitching you up when something happens.” He changes the subject, and you’re thankful he doesn’t push any further. He can see you’re not ready. He can see how grateful you are.
“What would we have done?” You ask.
“Everything. Fancy dinners, dancing, trips.” His smile is so genuine you can’t stop yours from forming.
“Trips?” You ask, raising your eyebrows, and he nods.
“Somewhere with a beach and not the shitty beaches near here. I would’ve taken you to a nice beach where Jane could dig in the sand, and you could read whatever book you wanted, and I’d make us a picnic and pack mule all our shit in from the car.” He says in a dreamy voice. He knew you had a kid when you went on your first date, but you never would’ve thought he imagined a life with the three of you.
“Sounds nice.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “Maybe in the next life.”
“We still have this one. We can make those things happen,” you say without thinking, and he stares at you. “I can make them happen. I know my way around. All we’d have to do is go west. Can’t be that hard, right?” You feel him slipping for a moment and hold his hand harder to keep him close. He smiles a little sadly and squeezes you back.
“Let’s talk about it in the morning,” he says. “We’ll have dreams about the ocean and sunshine and sand castles. No nightmares tonight, okay?” You nod and let him lead you to bed, leaving everything unspoken between you at the table.
The nightmares come as usual, but there’s a promise of a day when they don’t invade your psyche like they do now. A promise of a day with sunshine and water and sandcastles. A promise of more time.
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creative-kny-fics · 1 month
Note
Hi! If request are open, 21 trio? Lee!giyuu and ler!sanemi and obanai? U don’t have to btw!
When they call them trio 21 it reminds me of a meme I saw in which Sanemi and Obanai said: Being hashiras made us friends, but hating Tomioka made us brothers KAHSLSHSLSHS 😭 well, let's change that 👌🏼
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Lee: Giyuu Tomioka
Lers: Sanemi Shinazugawa and Iguro Obanai
Sanemi and Obanai didn't understand one thing, how was it possible that Shinobu, despite being rejected countless times, still tried to be Giyuu's friend?
'That idiot... He thinks he's better than everyone... I HATE HIM!'
If Sanemi and Obanai were together, they only did one thing: Roast Giyuu. It would be no exception on that occasion.
'Come on Tomioka-San! Let's be friends! I know you want to~!'
Shinobu received no response, she wasn't angry, but she felt 'disappointed'. 'Ooooh, so I need to "get your attention", hmm~?'
This did catch Giyuu's attention, starting to walk away slowly, only for after a few steps, Shinobu jumped, hugging him by the neck and squeezing his ribs. 'Wait... What is Kocho doing...?'
'I hope she's trying to choke him or bend his neck.', both of their eyes widened when they heard a male laugh, it wasn't either of them, that means... 'Ko-Kohocho...!! O-Okahahay!! Sohohorry...!!', after that, Giyuu and Shinobu walked away, now "talking".
Sanemi and Obanai saw each other, pinched themselves, shook their heads, even slapped each other. 'Did you just see... The same thing I just saw...?'
'Did Giyuu Tomioka just laugh...?'
Their confusion was evident, Giyuu never spoke and now, suddenly, he just laughed? They both saw each other, gave each other a knowing look, if Shinobu had gotten Tomioka to talk just for a few tickles, they would both make his 'I'm not like you' behavior disappear once and for all.
And of course, also the opportunity to 'humiliate' him and get some revenge, for what? For nothing really, Sanemi and Obanai simply want to teach him a lesson.
'There it is... What do you think we do? Should we push him to the ground or should I hold him tight while you tickle him?'
'I wanted to humiliate him in front of people, but I guess it will be difficult to get him off his estate. Let's do this, we put him on the ground and I climb on his arms and you on his hips,' Sanemi nodded before realizing that Obanai had practically stated his plan in other words.
Then there would be time to complain to him, Obanai had already gone ahead and was now banging hard on the door of Giyuu's estate.
'Who-? Oh, Obanai, how are you...? Shinazugawa...? What are you two doing here...?', neither of them visited him and the only visit they gave him was only to push him to the ground and close the door.
Just as they had planned, they laid him down and sat on his arms and legs, thinking that Giyuu would move, would start begging that they didn't do it, that they let him free, but he didn't do anything.
They both looked upset, was he trying to show them that he was better than them by not being ticklish? Not at all, he didn't believe they were capable of doing that, he was shocked. 'Why are you doing this...?'
'Why? Well, you're fucking shameless... That's why you always do your "I'm not like you" bullshit. Now what are you going to say about it?'
Giyuu frowned, were they seriously doing this? For a moment he thought they were joking or that he was dreaming, but no... 'Fuck you,' was his response.
Sanemi didn't look upset, he looked happy, as if I had given him one more reason to carry out his purpose. 'With pleasure...~'
'...If you're going to do gay things, please let me know and Kaburamaru and I will back off...'
Okay, that did make Sanemi angry and he knew what he would do after destroying the 'Giyuu's pride'
'Kanzaburo, when you came to my window, you seemed worried and wanted me to come running to Tomioka-San's farm, but... Why? I don't understand, is he okay?!'
Kanzaburo shook his head, worrying her more and forcing her to quicken her pace.
She expected to find Giyuu with some injury or perhaps dazed but what she found was... 'WHEHEHEN AHAREHE YOHOU AHAHAHA GOHOHOING T-TO STOHOHOP?!' I HAHAHAVE NEHEHEVEHER TIHICKLEHEHED YOHOHOHOU!! PLEHAHAHASEHEHE!! STOHOHOHOP THIHIS!!'
'Hah, what's wrong Tomioka? Where is your cold person behavior? Was it just a facade?!' 'You should see yourself... You squirm like a worm and you can't even utter a single word without laughing out loud!'
How bad was Giyuu? Enough to have some tears threatening to come if Sanemi and Obanai continued tickling him like there was no tomorrow.
'Ehem!', Shinobu cleared her throat, drawing both of their attention and being a signal to stop.
They didn't expect anyone to arrive, I mean, they both thought that no one visited Giyuu, but apparently they did. 'What? We haven't done anything wrong, we're not breaking any rules!'
'What he said! What's happening? You did it before and no one judged you, so don't look at us that way!'
Shinobu approached them and pulled their ears, they were expecting a long talk, but...
'You've done it all wrong! Giyuu doesn't need to be tickled so hard! A gentle touch will make him laugh... Isn't that right Tomioka-San~?', Giyuu laughed nervously as he watched Shinobu approach.
Maybe after this, he would finally talk a little more or stop having that cold face.
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Text
Someone Will See
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Casey Novak x autistic fem!reader Warnings: Conversation(s) about homophobia, mentions of sex Word Count: 1,491
It was your third date with Casey, and things couldn't be more perfect. You liked that you could be yourself with her. Your real self. You couldn't believe that no matter what you threw her way, she just seemed to like you more for it.
After dinner, neither of you had wanted to part, but Casey had gotten the sense that you might not be ready to have sex yet. You seemed like a long game kind of girl, and she was willing to put in the time. She didn't want to push you, but she didn't want to let you go for the night either, so she'd guided you both toward the High Line. You followed Casey up the stairs, glancing around.
"Where are we going?" you asked. "The subway?"
"Wow," Casey chuckled. "You really are bad at directions, huh?"
"Um, hello, that's what you're here for," you retorted.
"So I'm just a glorified GPS?"
"Yeah, but your voice is way hotter than Siri's." You smirked.
She shoved you playfully. "You're an idiot."
"Oh, come on, you love it."
She watched you, smiling softly. "I kind of do."
You emerged on the High Line, your path illuminated with soft yellow lights and the glow of the city. The other people on the trail were quiet, too, and you felt above it all, away from the throng. At peace.
"I like this place," you said.
"Me too," Casey agreed. "You gotta love Central Park."
You gaped. "This is part of Central Park!?"
Casey laughed and put an arm around your shoulders. "No. You're just so gullible it's hard to resist."
You huffed, trying to be offended, but really you were just happy to be there with her. Happy to have the warmth of her next to you. Happy to hear her laugh as she teased you. You walked side by side, quiet for a while, listening to the city sounds below you.
When you stopped to look at the skyline, Casey brushed your bangs out of your face, cupped your cheek, and leaned in to kiss you. You barely had time to think before jerking back, shoving Casey's hands down, and glancing around furtively.
"Casey!" you whispered furiously. "Someone might see us!"
Casey looked at you questioningly. "And?"
"Well, is it safe?" you asked, analyzing each person within eyesight.
You were from a small town in the middle of nowhere, so Casey assumed you were just having some big city growing pains. "Yeah, this is a pretty safe part of town. I mean, you should stay aware of your surroundings, you know, street smarts. But we're safe." She smiled at you. Her little country mouse.
"No," you continued, still anxious. "I mean, is this a safe place to be visibly gay? Like..." your voice dropped in volume. "Is someone gonna hurt us or yell at us if they see."
Casey's heart surged. She gently took your hand and led you to a nearby bench, your head swiveling to make sure no one was looking. "No, Y/N," she said, placing her hand on the side of your face and running her thumb along your cheekbone. "It's not like that here. You don't have to worry about that anymore."
You looked away, but lifted your hand to press it against Casey's. You kissed each of her knuckles, then leaned forward and pressed your lips into hers. Normally hungry and passionate, Casey stayed soft and gentle this time, holding your face in her hands, pulling away as soon as you did.
"I'm sorry," you apologized. "I didn't mean to ruin our night."
"You didn't ruin anything," Casey insisted, taking your hand as the two of you stood and continued walking. "I'm sorry. I forget that it's not like this where you grew up."
"It's okay," you said, shuffling your feet and avoiding her eyes. "I'm here now, right?"
"Has anybody ever said anything to you?" Casey asked, then added, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"Like, have they said anything homophobic?" you asked. Casey nodded. "Oh, yeah," you scoffed. Casey frowned as you continued. "The first time I got called a lesbo, I was in... fourth grade? I didn't even know what it meant. I had to go home and ask my parents."
"What did they say?" Casey asked, relieved to observe that your body and voice were relaxing again.
"They said it was a bad word, that it meant a girl who wants to marry a girl. They said it was wrong to be one."
"Jesus," Casey breathed. "I thought you said they were cool!?"
"They are now," you said. "They're the best. I couldn't ask for a more supportive family. But they weren't like that until well into my twenties."
Casey was quiet, suddenly feeling very protective of you. She'd come out of the closet when she was twelve and, even then, there wasn't much of a closet to come out of. She simply announced one day at dinner that she liked girls, not boys, and her parents had said, "Good for you, honey," and they'd all moved on. Even at school, most of the other kids thought she was cool and special for being gay. She was confident in her sexuality, confident in who she was. Now she wondered if she'd still be that way if her experience had been more like yours.
You were still listing the times and ways people in your hometown had made you feel unsafe for being gay. "Can't tell you how many times I've been called a dyke. And not in the cool way. I've had people tell me I'm going to hell. Some people tried to exorcise me once. The worst is the looks, though. Like, at a gas station or a coffee shop. They just stare and you can feel the hate. I think those are the most scary because you never know if something you do will make them snap."
"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Casey said, looking at you in a new light. A little bit of pity, sure, but a lot more pride in you for being yourself.
"It's okay," you shrugged. "Nothing really bad has ever happened."
"It's not okay," Casey huffed. "But I hope you know that if anyone even looks at you sideways, I'll kick their ass."
You laughed and giddily twirled your fingers next to your ear.
"I'm not kidding," Casey insisted, all business. You glanced at her and saw that her brow was furrowed and her cheeks flushed. "I will never let anyone make you feel scared to be yourself. Okay?"
You smiled at her. "You're cute when you're mad."
"I mean it, Y/N!" she exclaimed, stopping abruptly and turning to face you. She lifted your chin to make sure you really looked at her. "It's important to me that you feel safe."
Your heart swelled as you looked at Casey's serious, impassioned face.
"I do feel safe with you," you whispered. You grabbed the collar of her shirt and pulled her down into a kiss. Not just a quick kiss or a chaste one. A real kiss. You felt Casey's hands, one on your waist and one cradling the back of your head, strong and protective and steady. And you really did feel safe. It was so rare that you felt safe, but you did in this moment. You did with Casey.
You wrapped your arms around Casey's waist and pressed your face into her, breathing her in. She pulled you close and rested her chin on the top of your head—one of her favorite things about your height difference.
"Listen," you mumbled into her chest until she let you up for air. "As much as I love making out in public..."
She laughed and swung your hand in hers as you continued down the High Line.
"Maybe we could, uh, take this party back to your place?" you said, cheeks burning.
Casey screeched to a halt and leaned down to look into your eyes. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah?" you giggled.
"YES!" Casey exclaimed, fist pumping. "Yes!" She danced a bit on her feet, and you couldn't help but laugh. She kissed you quickly and roughly on the mouth, then the cheek, then the tip of your nose. "God, I love you. Let's go." She'd already grabbed your hand and pulled you after her when she realized what she'd said. "I mean..."
"It's okay," you said, squeezing her hand and smiling. "I think I love you too."
She beamed at you. You linked arms and hurried back the way you came, Casey nearly dragging you. "We're really checking off all the stereotypes, huh?" she observed.
You listed them. "Softball. Falling in love too fast. Tall femme, short masc... What else is there?"
"You want to move in?" Casey laughed.
"Slow down, speed racer. At least show me a good time first," you teased.
Casey stopped only long enough to kiss you again, and you could feel the excitement nearly buzzing in her lips.
"Oh, I will," she said. "Now hurry up."
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iguessitsjustme · 9 months
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So last week I had some thoughts on Jeng and how he might have responded to Pat asking if he liked men so heartbreakingly because he can and does pass as a straight man. This week, episode 10, while I loved and adored the episode, Jeng felt a little off to me. That’s not to say that I think it was out of character for him, but it felt like Jeng wasn’t entirely himself. He let himself get lost in Pat and their relationship and I spent the better part of the night and this morning trying to figure out why. A lot of other people have shared their thoughts on Jeng this episode, but I’m going to approach it as an addition to my thoughts from last week.
I will start off with the one thing I’m sad we didn’t get and I think this episode didn’t do well and that is Jeng’s reaction to Pat’s confession. From the 9 episodes we had previously, Jeng should have been holding his breath (either literally or figuratively), he should have been staring at Pat with anxious longing even as Pat broke down and cried in his arms. We should have seen Jeng’s face right after Pat admitted that he liked him back. At this point, Jeng has had one major breakdown and is just kind of running on fumes from Pat’s initial rejection. Jeng is operating under the belief that Pat sees them as coworkers. Jeng telling Pat “It makes sense to me” did not get a response, so Jeng has no reason to believe that Pat is feeling any differently that how he felt during the rejection. So we should have seen Jeng realize that it’s reciprocated. Jeng has had blinders on when it came to Pat and Pat’s confessions should have visibly ripped them away.
That said, everything after the confession, including Jeng’s undeniably reckless behavior in regards to their relationship, makes sense. First of all, those two not only love each other, but are intensely sexually attracted to each other. It makes sense that they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Plus that’s just a thing that happens during the honeymoon phase in a lot of relationships. It might seem weird because we don’t get that a lot in BL, but it happens. They are both consenting adults and they both want each other. Desperately. Now imagine being Jeng, who has been pining for god knows how long after Pat. Jeng, who has held himself back for so many reasons, finally letting himself cross those boundaries he worked so hard to maintain. At this point, the boundaries have been crossed so what’s the point of restraining any further? (I mean there’s a million reasons why but Jeng can only think that he is finally, finally with Pat and damn the consequences.)
I think Jeng knows though. He knows that at some point, the other shoe is going to drop and he isn’t ready for it. When the cracks start to show, he starts to hold on even tighter to the little bit of happiness he finally managed to carve out for himself. A place where he’s allowed to be completely and totally himself. A place where he is able to be an out gay man and the people around him understand that. The people around him and Pat are all Pat’s friends and family, and because of that Jeng is perceived as attracted to men. He’s not being seen as the straight boss. The friend who’s just a really good ally. He is Jeng. He is attracted to Pat. And he doesn’t have to explain that to anyone. But when gossip at work starts to spread, Jeng does what he shouldn’t do and he ignores it. If he acknowledges it then the new relationship bubble he’s been in with Pat that offers security, safety, and happiness will burst. Then Pat does the unthinkable and tries to talk about the very real and pressing issues that are affecting him (this was the incredibly mature thing to do and I honestly think that Pat is the most mature and communicative character in the show when it comes to his relationships but that’s another post and this is, yet again, about Jeng). Jeng does his best to keep Pat from popping that bubble. Those issues aren’t real and can’t affect them if he doesn’t think of them. What Jeng doesn’t know is the extent of the bullying Pat is facing at work as a result of it. People at work are judging Pat for their relationship but saying nothing about Jeng, so of course it hasn’t come back to Jeng just how bad it is. Pat isn’t going to mention the awful things being said especially after Jeng shut down the conversation that Pat needed to have.
So Pat leaves. I don’t think Jeng expected that outcome because Pat is so communicative. But he didn’t leave Pat much of a choice. And here Jeng is, his greatest fear happening. The other shoe dropped and now he has to face the world that he wasn’t ready to face. He has to face the office that bullied Pat into resigning. He has to face his father who is expecting him to take over the company and live the life laid out for him. Jeng lost himself in his bubble because he knew what would happen when it was gone. He knew when the bubble burst, he might be forced back into letting the world think he’s straight. Jeng let himself enjoy his relationship and acted like a teenager in love because he probably hasn’t had a relationship where he could do that before. Jeng has had rigid expectations placed on him for his whole life and it was different when he was with Pat.
So now that Pat’s gone, those expectations come rushing back and now if he wants Pat back, he is going to need to fight for it. And he is going to need to fight for it as Jeng, the rigid boss. Jeng, the good son. Jeng that his father can use and let people see him as straight. But Jeng is out of that closet now. The bubble has burst and Jeng doesn’t want to go back. He wants his young love. He wants Pat. So he needs to find a balance between the Jeng that was pining and the Jeng that was in a relationship with Pat. Without that balance, he can never get Pat back. He lost Pat by doing the same thing Put did. He wasn’t listening. He had a good reason not to listen (he was terrified of what facing those obstacles meant and he was finally allowing himself to be selfish and be with Pat) but having a good reason doesn’t stop the outcome and doesn’t mean that Pat’s needs weren’t ignored. Episode 11 is going to be painful but Pat and especially Jeng need to get through it in order to find the balance in their relationship.
This kind of got away from me by tldr is I think Jeng makes sense. I don’t agree with how he handled a lot of things this episode but it makes sense to me. I think we’ll get the more adult, mature Jeng back going forward because he allowed himself that selfishness and lost Pat because of it and one thing this show has been excellent at is letting the characters learn from their mistakes and not repeat them.
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