Tumgik
#they only have one braincell among them
Text
Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*Jason has just finished explaining an insane plan for a takedown
Dick: That is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard!
Jason: I have done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons!
Jason: So you should come with me, because if it goes right, I need a witness.
Dick: …and if it goes wrong?
Jason: If it goes wrong, I need an escape plan.
276 notes · View notes
turtleblogatlast · 2 months
Text
One of my absolute favorite things about Rise is what unapologetically cringe loser fanboys the bros are. There is one braincell among them and it’s tossed around like a game of dodgeball because no one wants to be the one to have it. They’ve got broken moral compasses that only occasionally point in the right direction. Their luck is a roulette wheel of amazing and godawful. They all think they’re cooler than they are while simultaneously undervaluing parts of themselves that deserve recognition. I love them so much.
1K notes · View notes
thelargefrye · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
February Filth Fest : DAY TWO : CHEATING / CREAMPIE … mature one - shot
pairing : gangster!seongjoong x f!reader
genre : smut, high & low au, strangers to maybe lovers, pinch of angst if you squint
word count : 2.6k
warnings : language, cheating (your bf cheats on you so you cheat on him🤷‍♀️), so douche boyfriend, smoking, a little drinking, kind of fighting, little crying (but in a good way, promise)
smut warnings : unprotected sex, implied threesome, creampie, pet names (doll, princess)
honorary suffer tag : for my bestie braincell @sanjoongie
your boyfriend cheats on you, so you seek out the two most feared men in your district for revenge.
DAY ONE ↤ HiGH&LOW: MATZ ↦ DAY THREE
Tumblr media
"you want us to do what?" seonghwa's eyes feel like they are piercing through your body as he stares down at you, eyebrow raised. you obviously surprised him, but he's too calculated to actually show that surprise. he's a feared leader within the sword distract, he can't afford to act surprised.
"i want you guys to help me get revenge on my boyfriend," you repeat yourself, showing him and his partner, hongjoong, that you are dead serious.
"revenge?" hongjoong says as he stands up to move towards you. he bends down to where you're eye level, an evil smirk overtaking his face. it makes you consider whether you should have even come here, but you can't back out now. that bastard of a boyfriend needs to pay. "what kind of revenge are you looking for doll?"
"he's cheating on me," you say looking at hongjoong and its his turn to raise an eyebrow at you this time. hongjoong turns his head to look at seonghwa, the eldest of the two clenching jaw as he rolls his neck. his 'matz' tattoo proudly on display as he does so and you can't help but to lick your lips.
seonghwa exudes a display of power that you have never truly experienced before, and that's probably what makes him so feared among all the different gangs. which was exactly why you wanted him and hongjoong to help you with this revenge.
"cheating, huh?" seonghwa says, reaching into the inside of his jacket pocket and pulling a pack of cigarettes. he takes one out before slotting it between his lips and effortlessly lighting it with his lighter. you note the metal and detailed design on his lighter, custom made.
"and how would you want to get this revenge, doll?" hongjoong asks, grabbing your chin and making you turn your attention to him.
seonghwa blows out a puff of smoke from his lips the smile time you look at hongjoong with a grin of your own. "i'm glad you asked."
the music was loud as you walked through the club. so loud that you could feel the bass vibrating through your entire body. the lights of the club were flashing a mix of vibrant colors and you almost started to strain your eyes.
and not to mention how packed it was in here, you rarely went clubbing for this very reason of not being a huge fan of packed crowds of sweaty, drunk people. usually you would have had someone's elbow in your ribs, but tonight was different. people parted the way like you were royalty.
well... it wasn't because of you, but the one who had their arm draped over you. you were pulled closely in seonghwa's side, your body leaning into his. hongjoong was leading the two of you, a lot of people moving out of there way and you noticed a few odd looks some club-goers gave you.
which you honestly wouldn't blame them. you were wrapped around one of the most dangerous and feared men in the city and walking through a club with two of them. you would give yourself a weird look too. but you really, you didn't have time to think about these people. there was only one person who needed to see you.
your douche soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.
you soon found yourself in the vip section, looking down at the dance floor, your eyes scanning everywhere for your boyfriend. hongjoong came to stand next to you, arm around your shoulders as if he was also looking.
"do you see him?" he asks, and you're surprised you can hear him from how loud the music was.
"i don–
right as you're about to say no, that's when you spot him, wrapped around a girl as they grind against each other and it makes you cringe a little.
"right there! in the black button up," you say pointing at him and hongjoong lets out a chuckle as he pulls you against him.
"you could definitely do better than him, doll," he says. "the girl is pretty," he begins to add and you can't a wave of uneasiness crash over you, but before it could drag you under hongjoong adds, "but you're prettier. especially in this dress seonghwa picked out."
you turn to see him grinning at you and he cages you between the railing and himself. you run a hand down his chest, his bright orange fur coat standing out even against the flashing club lights. and you had to admit he was right, the sequin red dress that seonghwa picked out did not only make you look hot, but you felt like it too.
funny how these two men could make you feel something your boyfriend never could. your eyes flicker behind hongjoong to see seonghwa sitting on the leather seating, cigarette between his lips as he takes a long drag, his eyes locked on you and hongjoong. you felt a chill run down your spine and goosebumps cover your whole bond thanks to his stare alone.
"shall we go have fun now that we found him?" you ask hongjoong with a tilt of your head and hongjoong can't help but let out a small laugh.
"i knew there was a reason why i liked you, doll, that feistiness gets me going," he says, grin on his lips before he's leading you down the stairs.
like seonghwa, hongjoong was quick to drape his arm around you, showing you off as people parted for the two of you, mainly him. he lead the two of you over to the bar, the bartender immediately seeing hongjoong and coming over to get your orders. while you two waited, you looked around and spotted your boyfriend at the other end of the bar with some of his friends.
you felt an odd rage course through you knowing that he was having the time of his life partying, drinking, and cheating on you. while he thinks you're at home and waiting for him to return. you feel hongjoong's arm move from your shoulders to your waist. you turn away from looking at your boyfriend to hongjoong who's already grinning at you. he slides your drink over to before taking a sip of his own.
you quickly down your drink, "i have to use the bathroom," you say before slipping away from hongjoong; however, hongjoong stops you before you get too far away from him.
"go to seonghwa if i'm not here, okay?"
"okay," you say and he gives you a smile before letting you go and turning back to his drink while also ordering another from. and so you make your way to the bathroom.
when you exit the bathroom, you begin to make your way back to the bar, back to hongjoong, but before you could get too far you are stopped. a hand grabbing your wrist and a little too aggressively pulling you back. you let out a surprise yelp as you're turning around and coming face to face with your boyfriend.
"holy shit the guys were right," he says looking at you with surprise all over his face. "i didn't believe them and then i saw you at the bar with... with kim hongjoong. what are you even doing here?"
"what do you mean? am i not allowed to party like you?" you ask, pulling your wrist away from him, an eyebrow raised.
"that's not what i mean," he says, letting out an annoyed sound, "what are you doing here with some gangsters? everyone saw you came in draped around park seonghwa like you were his girl."
"because she is my girl, bastard," you see your boyfriend go pale at the voice behind him and you both look behind him to see seonghwa standing there with a bored expression.
"what are you talking about? i'm her boyfriend! not some thug like you!" your boyfriend says, trying his best to sound intimidating. however, it takes a lot more than a puffed chest to intimidate seonghwa.
"really?" seonghwa says with an annoyed laugh as he rolls his neck, his tattoo standing out boldly in the moment. "you claim to be her boyfriend, yet you're here with another woman instead of her. she's not yours anymore fucker, she's mine. princess," he says, now addressing you, "go get hongjoong. we're leaving."
you nod your head, but before you could get away your ex grabs you by the wrist, stopping. "you're not leaving with these punks until we ta–
he's cut off when seonghwa grabs himself by the collar and shoves him away from you. you notice a burning fire in his eyes as he stalks towards your ex who begins to back away scared by seonghwa. but then seonghwa stopped and turned towards you once more, "princess, go get hongjoong," he told you again and this time you went without anything stopping you.
"hongjoong, seonghwa wants to leave," you say, tugging on his orange fur coat. hongjoong sets his drink down before getting up and following you towards where you left seonghwa and your ex. you tell hongjoong what happened and you notice the grin the takes over his face.
seonghwa meets the two of you outside the club and you notice his knuckles are a little red and busted. however, you choose not to comment on them. instead you watch as he lights another cigarette, taking a drag before blowing the smoke out. his eyes look up to meet yours and can't help but feel something run through and straight to your core.
"your boyfriend is gonna get his shit out of your apartment tonight," seonghwa says as he guides you to get into the car – you honestly didn't notice the car too busy drooling over seonghwa.
"ex-boyfriend," you say, turning to him as you climb into the car and slide over for him to join you. hongjoong rounds the car and gets in on the other side of you. hongjoong says something to their driver before he leans back.
hongjoong wraps his arms around your waist, "i've never been more happy to hear that a word more in my life." seonghwa lets out a laugh at his partner's words. "now we can have you all to ourselves, right doll?"
"right."
you let out a moan, feeling your eyes rolling into the back of your skull as seonghwa pounded into you. you felt your thighs burn from how he has you folded in half and hands gripping the flesh of your thighs tightly. you're pretty sure he'll marks later, but you don't really care now nor will you later.
seonghwa also lets out a series of moans and a few stuttered curses as he continues to thrust into your pussy. his cock stretching your walls out and filling you up as his tip continuously hits your sweet spot. you sling your arm around his shoulder and neck as you let it run down his back, raking your nails down him as you do so.
you feel seonghwa's lip press against your neck leaving open mouth kisses before pulls away to lick up your neck before he's sucking on the skin.
"h-hwa," you moan out as seonghwa moves to sit up slightly in order to thrust harder into you. "fu-f-fuck! so good~"
"you really doing a number on our doll aren't you, hwa?" hongjoong from behind the two of you. hongjoong had fucked you first, cumming in, and kissing you until your lips bruised before he slipped out of you and off your bed to rest in the chair by your desk.
he had a cigarette between his lips when he came to stand behind seonghwa, promptly smacking his ass and making the elder of two turn and send a glare. hongjoong only laughed at his partner before grabbing seonghwa by the back of the neck and crashing their lips together.
even through the kiss, seonghwa's hips didn't falter as he kept a steady pace. when the two separated, seonghwa seemed to have gained some extra energy as he continued to drill into you. his thumb coming down to vigorously rub at your clit and you couldn't help the moans and whines that escaped you.
"f-fuck, you feel so good," he grunts out as he wraps his arms around your body and rolls the two of you over so you're now on top. you feel seonghwa's hand run through your hair before gripping it harshly and crashing your lips together. his tongue enters your mouth and you note it tastes like smoke and whatever drink he had at the club.
when he pulls away as you feel his hands roam over your body, groping different parts of you as he begins to harshly thrust into you from below at an almost unthinkable pace. to be honest you had never felt this pleasured before, your ex never making you feel the things both hongjoong and seonghwa have made you feel.
you can't but bury your face in his neck, tears welling up in your eyes at the overwhelming feelings that this man is making you feel.
"hm, do-does it feel g-good, princess?" seonghwa asks, feeling your walls clench around him. he voice becomes rather breathy, his thrust getting longer as he grabs your ass.
"s-so good," you say, voice shaking and you silently cry from how it all feels. and then like a wave pleasure washing over your body, you cum. you let out a loud moan-sob mixed with seonghwa's name and you also pumps his cum inside you.
your mind is fuzzy as you lay on top of seonghwa, both of you sweaty and out of breath. your body stuck to his thanks to the sweat and also how you don't have the energy to move.
you feel your bed dip next to you and seonghwa before a hand comes to rest on your back, running up and down before gently pulling you off and away from seonghwa. his cock falls out of you and you whine at the emptiness; however, hongjoong's hand comes down to spread your pussy lips apart and showing off your cum-filled cunt.
"god, look at pretty our doll's pussy is," hongjoong says pressing a kiss to your temple. you look to see seonghwa looking at the both of you with grin on face before he's sitting up and moving to sandwich you between himself and hongjoong.
"why are you crying princess?" seonghwa asks, hand coming up to brush the tears away. you won't lie, his softness surprises you. his eyes that are usually cold and hard are now soft and his voice is gentle in a way. soothing. you didn't even know you were fully crying.
"hmm?" hongjoong cranes his head to look at you, a pout now on his lips as he looks at you. "what's the matter doll?"
"i guess all the emotions from today and from my ex cheating on me has just finally hit me," you confess with a small laugh. "i had never felt so much pleasure before, so i guess it just overwhelmed me... in a good way."
"your ex never made you cum?" seonghwa asks, reaching over to grab a cigarette before lighting it. he rests next to you and hongjoong, against your headboard and smoking. you crawl a little bit away from hongjoong in order to sit at the end of your bed.
"figures," hongjoong says when seonghwa passes him the cigarette. "spineless fucker, imagine the poor girl who's stuck with him now."
you can't help but let out a laugh as you watch the two of the most feared men in your city share a cigarette and gossip between each other about you ex. it sure was a funny sight to see honestly.
you watch seonghwa talk a long drag before putting the cigarette out, "come here, princess. you don't have to worry about that bastard and his no pleasurable dick anymore."
you smile, nodding before crawling between the two men and immediately laying your head on seonghwa's chest as hongjoong hugs you from behind. "thank you, joongie, hwa."
Tumblr media
tag list : @frankenstein852 @watamotee33 @kawennote09 @mixling-blog @marahleiwhen @kpopnightingale @harry-the-pottypus @pyeonghongrie @sanniesbum @marvelahsobx @khjcoo @mysticfire0435 @exfolitae @dementedaly @simeonswhore @moonm1st @nvmbheart @spooo00oky @frgogh @sookacc @seongwin @burnsmepls @ad0rechuu @tunaasan @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @cheesekimchi @confusedmoonchild777 @mjyungi @innieontop @iweirdthingsblog @s0obinluvr @worcesheshestershiresauce @moonlightgrleric @wineyoungie @jeongwangjessmina @lemineso
network : @cultofdionysusnet @cromernet
559 notes · View notes
ginneko0 · 1 year
Text
Daily life of Y/n at NRC..
Note: y/n is female. there is no warning..it just went long. But i try to shorten up it. And in poll i do some silly typing mistake And Masterlist.
Tumblr media
First year:
The day your gender revealed, everyone got astonished and wanted to slap themself for there stupid past movements they shared with you.
Your first year friends got more protective of you. and your seniors just feel way more responsible for your safety. That's why you are gifted with numerous magical weapons decorated in inside pocket of your coat. Spells casted on you for protection so that if someone dare to do something sinfully they burn on spot... this part is not informed to you.
Your classmates get little jealous due to clear display of gender inequality by teachers now. Just because they are little rowdy onces that doesn't mean they should be punished to run miles while you get to write apology note.
When you are the only girl among the all-boys group you start being considered as one of the dudes by them. You become a crucial member of their clan and they accept you as one among them. So yep, they are prettier then you HA!!
There are time when you try to make your mind that you are gonna be one making rational decision and other second losing the braincell.
Ace: prefect, you said this gonna be fun prank!!
Y/n: i swear, i didn't expect this!!!
Deuce: it will be alright if we give Carter senpai phone back. So where you hide it Ace.
Ace: i give it to grim.
Sometime they ask advice for dating. To them what you said, apply on all females. As you try to be helpfull, "If you wear this, she gonna scream and run away". Yep in brutal way.
Dress up little they all freaked up. They blush like teen high school girl while all you did was put moisturizer and lip gloss.
Sports events always end up with you being out early like those beastmen are not to compete with . But at least you are better than Azul and riddle.
Jack and deuce are buddy when it comes to cute animals. In the beginning both were nervous and shy alot but get used to your presence now.
Deuce, the sweet guy always asking you if that guy bothering or helping you. While ace who annoy you, pinching your cheeks.
Epel being the tough infornt of you or use his charm. But when you say "cute", he can't help to stoop his feet on ground.
But NRC is also getting its influse on you. the way you don't hesitate to fight or mock someone now. like one time Jack saw you trying to wake Leona as the lion put scratch on your hand unconsciously, in return you scream in his ears. making the lion dumb awake and Leona heard ting in his brain for good mintues .
Sebek, being sebek. Always telling you to stay away from his Waka-sama. While acting gaurd for you.
Y/n: thanks for carry it.
Sebek: Don't think i care about you, human. I took this because, you are just slow!!!
Second & third year:
Trey senpai is like that sweet fairytale mother, he always offer you sweets which gonna be reasone for your tooth decay. Cater senpai, you know one thing not to hide his phone like last time. It was scary. but they treat you like their younger sibling.
You got to sit on front seat in Trey senpai family car as ace mostly seat on back seat hump arguing with deuce. Well its for kids.
Riddle is quite gentle and respectful with you but always betray you when you both met floyd. and after that he apologize by giving you pie.
Every week you get dragged to Azul, introduced new product to you saying that this will be usefull for you and you can have this, if you just sign here. He literally wants you work for him to get more costumers. Even though it get little awkward sometime.
Azul: please prefect, think about. It for your own good. *Holding y/n hand and smiling like an innocent angel.*
Y/n: *deadpan, starring at him blankly*
Azul: wel...*cough*
Floyd, you are his favourite. Because shrimpy is so soft and he tackled you few time, it was deadly experience.
Vil is your second mother, the one you try to stay away. He asked crowley to get you in his dorm few times. Always tell you stand straight and sit properly. Give you routine, lose it and you are gonna die. Give you tips what to wear and what to buy. While rook just praise you.
You sometime got annoyed by night visit as you have to put your bra back.
Kalim is still same, invite you for parties with brightest smile. Jamil have to remind him to not hug you like that.
Kalim is always ready to help you, he sometime feel you may feel lonely as there is no other girl. Maybe you can friend with his sisters.
Jamil hide his worry about you well. He understands your situation and try to help but silently.
Idia place is heaven, you got to watch free games and anime. With pile of snacks. While he blush and sit beside you.
Lilia, your third mother. He help you to be attentive, by pranking you and develop resistance towards poison and other dangerous substance.. by.. well, we all know how.
Leona being lazy. Do put efforts and let you do whatever. Due to respect women juice, he is not harsh with you. But still tease and filter here and there.
Sometime you get unexpected sleepovers to.
Y/n: leona senpai, shouldn't you return to your dorm now.
Leona: naaa... herbivore, i'm sleeping here. I like this couch.
*same day*
Leona: i am sleeping inbetween. *laying on middle futon.*
Y/n: you said couch is your favorite place.
Leona: it was, now don't disturb me.
Y/n: *you sigh, and malleus pout while sleeping on other side.*
Leona respect you but not that damn lizard.
And, Malleus..."child of man, can i have the size of your finger". You asked why but got shut by "you will know one day."
He love sleepover parties and gift you a lot of shiny stones now. Invite you everytime. If you ever felt left out, he gonna do his best to cheer you up.
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
demiesworld · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
HE (AIN'T) MY MAN! | choso kamo
Tumblr media
☆— synopsis: choso is the emo kid at their college and is in a secret relationship with popular reader. it's been bugging him lately that they have to keep their relationship on the low. so he thinks it's time to put an end to that.
☆— contents: nsfw, rough sex, mean!choso, bratty!reader, size kink, spanking, unprotected sex, p in v, orgasm denial, dirty talking, degradation kink, mention of drug use (weed), big dick choso, dumbification, doggy style, cervix fucking, sub!reader, dom!choso, just the usual filth
☆— notes: i got the inspiration for the smut from kentheman "not my n*gga" originally i had wrote this with gojo in mind, but gojo bby is too overrated rn so i decided to write smth with my bby girl choso. i wrote this with a black reader in my mind, but the reader is not described as black. so yeah sit back and let's get some coochies popping.
Tumblr media
"You want to act like you're so tough?"
His large inked hands slapped on your round ass cheeks the flesh stinging right after his cruel slap to your skin.
"You want to play like you're the one running shit?"
Again his hands smacked you on your ass and you squealed before letting out a sharp hiss.
"This is what bitches like you get. Fuck yourself on my dick. Fuck that pussy on this dick, yeeeah, just like that, throw it back."
Choso was kneeling on the bed behind you, his thick and long cock embedded into the warmth of your pussy. Though he wasn't doing the work this time. He wasn't fucking you like he would. It was you that was doing all of the work. You had been at this for a while now, on your hand and knees, throwing your ass back on Choso's dick. As he sat there doing nothing to help you out. Not even the whimpers of you complaining about your knees getting weak nudged him to move. He was just kneeling there watching as his dick would disappear into your heat then reappear coated by the slick of your pussy. Your ass recoiling at each pathetic plunge you made.
What happened for you to end up in this position?
Earlier you were at the mall with your group of "friends", girls that Choso didn't like because they weren't your true friends just a group of followers, when it happened. You were in the food court at the mall with them when one of them spotted Choso ordering himself food.
"Hey Y/N isn't that Somo?" One of them says out loud and points to Choso's back facing you four.
Did he mention that your friends were kind of stupid? A bunch of dumb bitches that only had one braincell among the group (the one braincell being you).
You clicked your tongue and rolled your eyes at your friend. "His name is Choso, girl, and yeah that's him. Why you so worried about him for?"
"Because it's like... I've been noticing that every time we are out with you Choso is always like around. Like when we're at school, out having lunch, or meetups like this." The first friend said to explain her concern.
A second friend spoke up, "Yeah girl it's like he stalkin' you or sum."
The third one joked, "Y'all must be dating if he be popping up whenever you be out."
You slam your drink down on the table, your sudden irritation confusing the girls, and you spat, "I am not dating that... loser." You say with conviction.
But that loser is the one that drives you to your destinations. The same loser who you suck off in his black Hellcat. The loser that you tell to drop you off just a block away because you don't want to be seen with the "emo kid" of your college campus. Who was the loser in this?
Besides you told Choso a week ago to stop lurking about when you are out with your "friends" due to this situation like now. They point out things that are in fact true, but you can't let them know it is because you want to keep your relationship with Choso secret. For one thing that you wanted to keep your reputation.
Today that was going to end though. It started when your friends kept pressuring you into proving that you and Choso weren't dating at the mall. Their words were getting your mind, so you shot up from your chair and headed over to the table Choso was occupying by himself. The table just four tables away from yours, but your group of fakes had a front row seat.
"Why are you following me around?"
Choso was half-way to take a bite out of his burger when you appeared next to him. Your arms on your hips, eyes narrowed at him, and a scowl on your lips. He looked up at you with a shake of his head and scoffed at your attitude, "What are you talking about?"
You got up in his face and accused him, "You've been following me around at this mall all day. My friends told me you've been doing that."
"Friends? You mean those dumb bitches that you let hang around you? Those friends?"
Your voice lowered to a whisper for him to hear, "Just act like you're gonna leave and-"
"No."
You stood there shocked when you heard Choso say that word. It was a word that you weren't used to hearing from him. You could feel that something had switched especially when Choso stood up to his feet. His figure towering above you as you had to tilt your head up to look at him and he lowered his eyes to look down at you.
"B-baby just act-"
"I said no. Did you not fucking hear me?" He took a hold of your wrist and held it tight. "I'm getting real tired of acting like we're ain't a couple when you know for a fact we are. That shit is ending today." He dragged you over to your table and gathered the bags of clothes, makeup, and perfumes from clothing brands that you bought.
Your friends were all surprised to see Choso holding onto your wrist so firmly, especially when you and him were supposedly "not" together.
The first friend from before asked nervously, "H-Hey where are you taking Y/N you creep?" She had stood up from her chair as if she was going to try something.
"She's going home with me, and you sit your ass down. You're not about to get into the middle of this." He glared at her, waiting for her to sit down and when she did he looked back at you. "You're done hanging out with these group of whores."
Choso and you left the mall and got into his car to head back to his apartment. On the way there it was quiet. You didn't say a word to him, scared that if you do it could cause a bigger punishment for you. When he pulled into the parking lot of his building, usually Choso would open the car door for you, but this time he didn't. He just walked up towards the staircase of his apartment door leaving you to sit in the car with a angry look on your face. You shot out the car and slammed his car door, hoping he heard it, as you left your shopping bags and stomped to his apartment. Choso was unlocking the door with his keys when you were coming up the staircase. Just as you were going to enter right behind him he shut the door behind him and you growled from his rude behavior.
You opened the door and slammed it shut, remembering to lock it, before you storm into the living room where your boyfriend sat lighting up an unfinished blunt he rolled that morning.
"What the fuck Choso?! You didn't see me walking behind you?!"
He didn't answer you. He just inhaled the smoke of the weed and blew it out through his nose. His legs were spread on the sofa. You were standing across from him, just the coffee table separating you both.
"Oh I get it, you're mad because I got up in your face at the mall isn't it? I was trying to tell you to just act like you were going to leave and not show up around again, but you weren't listening to me! If anything, it should be me that is supposed to be mad! Not you! You don't have no reason to be mad Choso!"
By the time you were finished with your little monologue, Choso had put out the blunt (now a roach) he was smoking. He looked at you with an expression that you couldn't define. His dark brown eyes were heavy-lidded, his full lips were in a straight line, and jaw clenched. You wanted to say he looked angry, but at the same time you didn't feel it.
"Are you done?" You go to open your mouth, but he raised his hand to stop you from yammering. "You," He pointed a finger at you, "Did not hear a word I said to you at the mall didn't you? What I told your ass went in the ear and out the other ear didn't it?" Choso stood up from the couch and took off his shirt. "Take your clothes off. I'm gonna teach you a lesson tonight princess."
Now here you were on your knees and slamming your hips against Choso's as you fucked yourself on his dick. Your nails were digging into his bed sheets and needy moans left your mouth. The room was getting hot since you were sweating while throwing your hips back.
He had told you in the midst of this not to cum on his dick. You were working hard not to do that, but with the way his dick kept prodding at your sweet spot it was getting impossible for follow his directions.
Choso slapped his hand on your right ass cheek when he felt you clenching around him. "Don't you dare fucking cum on my dick. You cum when I fucking tell you to bitch. You got that?" You nod your head, and he smacked you on your ass again. "Huh?"
"Yes! Yes! B-baby please, pleeeease, fuck, I'm sorry! 'M so- so fucking sorry!" You wail out and your knees tremble causing you to collapse on the bed. Choso's dick popped out of your pussy wetly, and he watched as you wriggled on the bed trying to lift your hips back up to take him back inside of you. "B-baby c-can you- put it back in please?"
"Do it yourself. You don't need me right?"
You whine and shake your head, "No! No baby! I do need you!"
His hand slaps you on your ass causing a moan to leave from you. "Then do it yourself."
Fuck he was being so mean to you. You panted heavily as you lifted your hips up from the bed and reached behind to grab the base of his cock. A lewd squelch could be heard when his fat tip entered your pussy followed by your head tilting back and a long moan to escape.
"Fuuuuuck! Fuuc- baby please," You squeeze your eyes shut, and had tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. You looked back at him, drool coming out of your mouth as you slurred, "Please can you fuck me now baby? Can you fuck me? Please baby? I want your dick so b-bad!"
Choso's lips crack into a grin and he hovers above your smaller body. His large hand comes up to your neck where he gently squeezes it in his palm. You tilt your head back and moan when Choso's hips slowly move forward till you can feel the head touching your cervix. You gasp and shudder, biting down on your bottom lip whilst curling your toes. He teasingly rolls his hips in slow wide circles emitting whines from you.
"Hmm... you want me to fuck you?" He murmurs into your ear, and you just rapidly nod your head. A hand coming up to hold the inked hand on your neck. "You want this dick to fuck you like the dumb bitch you are?" You nod your head again, looking at Choso with unfocused glossy eyes. "Then after this, we're not gonna be secret anymore right?"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, y-yes, yes, just please fuck me baby."
Choso tightens his grip on your neck and it forces a gasp out of you. He stops rolling his hips just after he whispers, "Then you better hold on to something." You scramble to grab the pillow at the headboard, and your boyfriend laughs. That pillow was going to be no support in keeping you from bouncing away from his dick. Whatever then.
"Arch that back for me, just like that, hold it right there."
As soon as you got the pillow in your clutches, Choso quickly snaps his hips onto the curve of your ass. His heavy balls slapping onto your clit as your cum was splattering on his pelvic bone. You choked on a moan as you felt his fat cock ramming right into your cervix and causing your eyes to go cross. You let out soft grunts while your boyfriend fucked you like an animal from behind.
"FFF-FUCK! FUCK! BABY! B-BAB-BYYYY!!" You squeal, writhing on the bed and making an attempt to run from it.
Choso wasn't having none of that. He lets go of the front of your neck and pulls your hips back to his own.
"Nuh-uh. None of that," He mutters and slaps you on your ass. "None of that shit. This what you wanted right? This what you wanted right?" He was repeating the question to you, but you were too high off of his dick to answer him. "Lay here and take it. Take it, take it, take all of it." Choso held you by the back of your neck now with one hand, the other one gripping onto the flesh of your hip. Your boyfriend's mouth kisses you behind your ear and he husks, "I don't wanna hear you say you can't take it." A groan follows.
You whimper pathetically into the pillow beneath you, tears staining the fabric mixed with drool coming out of your mouth. "Cum, g'na c-cum! 'm gonna cum!"
He leans his muscular body off of yours. With his hand still holding you by the back of your neck, Choso pounds his hips away, directly bullying his cock into your cervix. His voice was saying, "You wanna cum? Cum on this dick. Cum for me. Cum on it." Your moans escalate into higher pitches and transition into shrill screams of indescribable pleasure.
"Sssshit! Baby! Baby! Ohhh fuuuck!" Your walls tighten around Choso's dick and he still doesn't stop fucking you. He keeps thrusting forward into your heat, helping you ride out your orgasm, while he chases after his own. You whine when Choso never quits in rocking his hips back and forth he's purposefully trying to overstimulate you. "Come on baby p-please -hic- please!"
Your boyfriend shushes you gently and he places a hand over your mouth. A whimper leaves from your mouth, but you're forced into silence when he speeds up and adds more strength into his thrusts. His body is practically moving you up on the bed, to the headboard, when you grip the tufted upholstery for support. You scream into his hand and he chuckles at you; his lips kissing your cheek.
"I know baby, I know, just listen to that. Yeeeeaah. Listen to how wet that pussy sounds. Hng, fuck baby, I didn't want to do to this, but - fuck - those dumb bitches you call friends, ha, they shouldn't have gassed you up." You cry out behind his hand as more tears roll down your cheeks in thick hot streams. Choso doesn't relent when you sob underneath him. Instead the tears egg him on, "Don't. Ever. Let. Another. Stupid. Bitch. Gas. You. Up." He was pounding into you with each word. You claw your nails at his arm, begging for him to stop and let you take a break. He pants against your neck and then growls when he feels his balls tighten up.
"I'm gonna cum in your pussy, and when I do this - shit - this relationship ain't gonna be secret no more."
"Uh! Uh! Uh! Hm!"
He chuckles dryly and groans, "I'll take that as a yes. Ooh, fuck, shit, I'm gonna cum." Choso lets go of your mouth finally and grabs a hold of your hips. He plunges himself back and forth in rhythm to his words, "I'm gonna paint, these, fucking, w-walls!" He stills his hips when he releases his hot cum right into your womb. You roll your eyes to back of your head and shudder as an intense orgasm crashes over your body. Choso's chest rises and falls in tune to his heavy breathing. His shoulder-length black hair sticking to his sweat-covered face and the black line across his nose smeared due to the perspiration.
His softening cock slowly pulls out of your abused pussy with a wet "pop" and your hole gushes with a mixture of his cum and yours. It trickles out onto his bed and down your thighs and folds. The sight of it is fucking filthy, but it was just enough to put his claim on you as his girl.
BONUS...
"Girl we haven't seen you in almost three weeks!"
"What the hell happened to you? Why are you wearing that?"
"What did Choso do to you?"
Your old friends had found you at the college campus after not contacting them in three weeks. You had been recovering from the punishment that Choso put you through and adapting to being true to yourself and not being a leader to these fake friends of yours.
You look at all three of them and said, "Nothing happened to me, I just had an epiphany. I'm wearing this because I'm not going to be leading you guys around anymore. And whatever Choso did to me it is none of your business."
As you go to walk past them but the first friend grabbed you by your wrist. "Y/N! You can't just leave us like that. We're friends! I thought you said Choso wasn't your man anyways!"
You snatch your wrist away from her, "Choso..." Your eyes look around the empty hallway for him, but you didn't see him. Which was fine, you didn't need him to have to courage to say, "Choso is my man. He's been my man since XX. He's not a loser like all of y'all dumb bitches."
One of them emphasized, "Dumb bitches?"
"Yeah, dumb bitches." A deeper voice appeared from behind you, and an inked arm with your name tatted on it slung over your shoulder. "These bitches bothering you baby?" Choso asked you as he glared at the three fake friends.
You shake your head and look up at him contently smiling, "No they're not baby. Not anymore."
Choso cupped his hand underneath your chin and hotly kissed you in front of the trio. He smiles in approval, and hums, "Good girl."
Tumblr media
☆ — notes: WWHEEWWW CHILEEE.... i need me a man like choso to put me in my place. i mean like- if i get me a man that can treat me like a queen but fuck the attitude outta me i would be happy y'all. i would. ANYWAYS lmk what you think! ♡♡♡
703 notes · View notes
cerealboxlore · 6 months
Note
Billy Batson related question, as always! How do you think the League would react to Black Adam knowing who the Captain is, especially when they don’t even know? (The relationship between Billy and Teth doesn’t matter, they could be allies or enemies).
Billy Batson related questions are my personal favorites!
The idea of the Justice League not knowing who Captain Marvel's secret identity is always makes me giggle :D it's the layer of mystery and unknown danger that presents itself behind not knowing who the Big Red Cheese is that keeps them on edge sometimes. They admire their friend, but sometimes they do wonder, are they his friend? What is he? An alien? A human? A monster beneath the disguise of a man? Three kobolds in a trenchcoat? Nobody knows... They do wish to get to know their friend better.
Normally, most league members have their secret identities kept, you know, a secret. With the exception that Batman knows, of course. However, even he remains stumped on this mystery. He doesn't enjoy not knowing who Captain Marvel is behind the boy scout smile he often shines, but Batman is determined to find out one day. There's almost some respect for how well the Captain manages to hide his identity and tracks.
Meanwhile, Billy is surprised he's lasted this long with a secret identity. He's working with a braincell, half an oreo cookie, and a dream.
I got sidetracked, ack! Okay, so the relationship (depending on which version of Captain Marvel and Black Adam you are familiar with) is almost always going to be personal. There's their shared relationship with the wizard Shazam, but the one I'm most familiar with and enjoy is Black Adam being the one to have killed Billy's parents. (Also, I appreciate you separating the identity of Black Adam and Teth!)
It would be absolutely amazing and gutwrenching to see Captain Marvel shake hands with a "reformed" Black Adam, possibly during a public setting with the JL in attendance, fully knowing the truth behind his parents murders and still going through with the painful decision to let him go unpunished.
For Billy, this hurts. On a deep level that scars his heart and soul for allowing his parents deaths to go unavenged. For the years of pain, he spent alone on the streets homeless and separated from his twin sister, none of it can be fully healed no matter how hard he tries to forget. Scars fade over time, but to Billy, time is eternity. This pain will follow him for eternity.
However, as Captain Marvel, he understands that there's more to the situation that he can't control, and fighting Black Adam would only make things worse. With the wisdom of Solomon, he knows he can't justify a fight against the ruler of a nation, no matter what. So he just smiles for the camera and shakes the hand of the man who orphaned him.
It is through holding Black Adam's hand that the thought passes through his mind: the hand he's holding right now was once stained with the blood of his parents.
Then, the heroes are given a moment of privacy to be around each other without the public's eyes or ears to interfere, and that's when **** hits the fan.
Captain Marvel is avoiding Black Adam, understandably, but when Black Adam loudly calls out his name among the other heroes, Billy can't help but feel rage boil inside his divine blood.
"William. I thought you knew better than to ignore others when they're trying to talk to you. Such rudeness, I am most glad your parents were not the ones to raise such behavior in you."
Whispers among the league ensues. Was that the Captain's name? Did Black Adam know Captain Marvel on a personal level rather than just a regular hero and nemesis level? Despite the eyes watching them, waiting and prepared to step in case of a fight, the Captain grits his teeth and, through miserable eyes of a broken man, chooses to smile.
"Yeah, they really were good people, Adam. I may not live up to their expectations, but I do live for them. Every day. I suppose I have you to thank for that."
"Your gratitude is most welcome, William. May one day come where you live for Mary and Frederick, as well. They would appreciate you honoring them."
Through a wicked smile, Black Adam chuckles, turning his back to take his leave back to Khandak. Leaving Captain Marvel still smiling all alone, his fists at his side curled with rage, drawing his own divine blood from the intensity of his own strength.
After that, the league would be in all rumors and whispers about Captain Marvel. From the past, they knew that Black Adam was fond of taunting the Captain with strange and mean words during their harrowing battles, but had it all been a personal dig at him all this time? Did Black Adam have a hand in accidentally giving Captain Marvel the motivation to become a hero?
Superheroes like Batman would immediately be looking into any information they learned from this and try to decipher what is the truth behind the Captain. Or should he say, "William," now having a name to the face of the hero of Fawcett. He would also be investigating Black Adam far more closely now, should the reformed man ever step out of line. If he heard right and Black Adam had indeed killed the Captain's parents, then he needed to keep an eye on Captain Marvel, too. In case of a breakdown or instability in emotions.
On the other hand, heroes like the Flash and Superman would take the time to visit the Captain in his city and check on him. They'd be concerned after seeing how pained Captain Marvel was. If a villain like Black Adam knew who the Captain was and specifically chose not to reveal his true identity to the public and just the Justice League, then perhaps there was more to it. Superman knew as well how painful it was to let a guilty man go free because he was deemed "reformed" in the eyes of the public (Lex Luthor, ew).
Overall, there would be a whole range of emotions after finding out Black Adam knows who Captain Marvel is. And I am here for it!
381 notes · View notes
bun-lapin · 6 months
Text
First Years Prank Wars
Summary: Ace, Deuce, and Epel prank Sebek
A/N: So I know we're in the middle of a follower event but I couldn't resist writing some quick, funny shenanigans to celebrate Ace's birthday today~! Ace is so funny to me and I really have a soft spot for his mischievous attitude. He definitely gives me "lead troublemaker" vibes lol Happy birthday Ace~! <3
CW: platonic gn!reader, very silly, only one braincell and guess who has it (that's right, it's you!)
Tumblr media
Walking into the Ramshackle Dorm lounge, you see Ace, Deuce, and Epel hunched over the coffee table in the middle of the room and furiously whispering to each other. A handful of maps and papers are chaotically laid out across the table and on the floor around the trio.
You ask the group, "What exactly is going on here?"
Ace looks up from the map on the table and excitedly shouts, "We're planning a heist!"
Deuce rolls his eyes at Ace and scoffs, "Quit trying to make it sound cooler than it actually is." He turns to you and explains, "We're planning to pull a prank on Sebek."
Epel chimes in, "But it kinda is like a heist! We're planning to sneak into Sebek's room and steal his portrait of Malleus."
You cross your arms over your chest and raise your eyebrows, "You're planning to break into Diasomnia?"
Deuce holds up a crude, drawn in red crayon map of the campus and shouts, "Yeah!"
You tilt your head, feeling a headache about to form, "And you're planning to steal Sebek's portrait of Malleus? His most cherished posession in the world?"
Epel holds up a blurry photo of Malleus himself, not the portrait, and yells, "Yes! But don't worry, we're only going to keep it for a day or two. Then we'll put it right back!"
Looking over to Ace, you somehow get the sense that all of this is his idea. You put your hands on your hips and sternly ask him, "Alright, be honest. What did Sebek do to prompt this prank?"
Ace jumps to his feet and yells with indignation, "He made fun of my hair!"
You blink in confusion and then look to Deuce and Epel. They simply shrug and offer no extra explanation. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you let out a deeply aggravated sigh. You walk out of the lounge without a backwards glance and leave them to their work.
~ The Next Day ~
Walking to your afternoon class, you hear a faint sound, almost like a long sustained note in a really weird song. As you turn to look for the source, you realize the sound is the sound of screaming and it's getting louder and closer.
In the distance, you see Ace, Deuce, and Epel running faster than you've ever seen them run before. Sebek is close behind the three of them with a sword raised high over his head.
Sebek shouts, among other colorful threats and curses, "How dare you disrespect the young master like this! You three deserve no mercy! Stand and fight me, you cowards!"
You hide your face in a book and quickly walk in the opposite direction away from the chaos.
138 notes · View notes
merotwst · 11 months
Text
man i feel bad when people mistake leona for dumb and being an airhead because he's been held back. he doesnt do ir because he doesn't want to. he chooses to stay in the same year. he's literally one of the most brilliant people in the game. u cant just pull off something like his entire plan in book 2 with two working braincells. before i thought leona was the type ho wouldn't know the first thing about technology but the game proved me wrong because canonically during VDC when the whole overblot thing happened, LEONA was the only one among them who could find the backup files when everything was destroyed by vil. the man BACKED UP the files yo in case something went wrong which is pretty clever and further proves my point. i think he also posted on magicam when the tsums arrived or something tho not too sure about that. he's done a loooot of smart things throughout the game. his octavinelle sabotage, the way he handled the ferrymen, man READS books and it's canon, he studies chess which is funky because i do that but with scrabble (he's ultimately way cooler than i am cuz idk how chess works) but anyway ANYWAY pls stop saying leona is a dumbass, illiterate, stupid guy :((( he really isn't. he's a genius who just chooses not to put it to use cuz he believes it's not worth doing (idk others have posted about this part i wont elaborate on it anymore).
thank u for coming to my ted talk
317 notes · View notes
insideliascrazyhead · 8 months
Text
High and Low the worst random rewatch thoughts 2 backwards cause that´s how I watched the franchise first time around
-Oochi brothers have one braincell they share and its for fighting any kinda threat to their friends even if they´re in the wrong
-You can see Tsukasas reason to live crawl back into him as soon as he sees Fujio.Aw and he´s smiling too!
-i love the way Tsukasa is like phew no responsibilities anymore hey now you all gotta do whatever that guy over there says
-Yasu- kiyo faction calling Fujio a shrimp but c´mon their leader is Yasushi who´s literally only 2 cm (my crazy ass googled it) taller then Fujio
-Jamou and Sabakan meet once a week to gossip you can´t change my mind
-i love the nickname the crazy bastards its like a trigger warning for a person,fits great
-the moment he realised they´re former neighbours Fujio already planned his force adoption and the creation of his own faction that way
-Yasushi laughing about„Doroki“until Tsukasa´s death glare and he just goes quiet with a slight cough pretending to be all serious is so great
-Sachio kicking crackhead ass is just chefs kiss
-Murayama sleeping with a book on his face he probably never read a page off also saying he got fired again means he´s a menace at work and i wanna know what he did
-Arata my man,you´re a miserable drug dealer,you´re not sneaky and you wear to attention drawing stuff just no also the colorful hair of the other crackheads isn´t helping i also strongly belive they snort the hair color too at least they look like it
-Fujio fcalling force adopting them into his family/faction „Im super busy on my misison right now“is so adorable it´s painful
-that even Oya High has a no drug rule among students made me realise i went to a ghetto ass high school man
-Tetsu being scared of the Oochi brothers.My guy you sit at a table with a angry cobra relax you´re gonna be okay.
-Fujio looks worse after the fall down the stairs then after any fight
-what if Cobra was busy when Murayama called and is just like oh great i can talk to you meanwhile Cobra sits in his underwear with his one night stand impatiently waiting.i mean he was probably getting drunk at the bar or disociating in the diner but its still a fun thought
-no one can tell me Yasushis injury didnt leave damage behind that he just tells no one about until shit goes down badly.
-they could´ve worn crackhead attire and would´ve made a lot more belivable fulltimers.
-I could swear they´re like a block from Yasushi and the wannabe Housen crackheads.
-at least they didn´t accidentally switch and the guys attacked the target they´re dressed up as
-what happened to Yasushi that night?Well that storyline has more cracks than Yasushis head
-Aww look at Tsukasa caring about Yasushi in a if anyone kills this lunatic it´s me kinda way
-look at Fujio being the motivational leader.man´s the definition of fuck shit up but don´t die and Tsukasa will wipe a tear and say it´s so inspirational.
-Tsukasas heart eyes are so bright they glow in the night
-love the beef with Yasu-Kiyo and ChunChun even though i think they already forgot why they wanna fight probably just for entertainment
-Fujio´s „Don´t get injured again“So sweet.
-Yasushi could be missing a fucking limb and still be up to kick ass or at least try
-that´s the movie nerd in me but Yasushi punching the car was just the cue for Shidaken´s actor to start running
-Yasushi.No,you don´t fucking tell them where you´re injured that they can beat you better this man saw Shidaken and suddenly,guy cute,brain empty.
-i love how Shibaman and Tsuji always fight together,also he took that thing with the hair color personally.
-Odajima really goes oh i like that one the others are losers but this one;friendshaped.I mean fight later friend shaped of course.
-why does Shidaken open Yasushi´s wound with pressure and not the force of a kick or hit?!
-after fighting Shidaken did he pass out or why do we not see him anywhere anymore
-Fujio vs.Shidaken reminds me of two ferrets
-Sachio crushed on Fujio at least a little bit
-Murayama with the damn truck has my heart
-Sabakan saving all of them
-Kiyoshi still fighting because he wants revenge for Yasushi those two bastards have such a adorable relationship and a heart of gold man.
-not Yasushi cooling his head with a water bottle thats funnier then it should be like my man you could´ve easily sit this one out
-I will never get over the disgust on Housen´s faces when they see Hope Hill then there´s Yasushi´s ah so many great memories smile
-Sachio,honey I know you love your friend and sympolism or whatever but wearing someone elses dried blood is just weird -Shidaken thinks he´s probably loosing it when they catch fire and don´t give a fuck like I´m not crazy ya´ll seeing this I´m not hallucinating jet my head injury comes next movie!
-i love how they throw rocks and Todoroki just goes well imma throw them right back at you!
-not Jamuo hiding in a damn trash can!I love the little guy so much.
-Fujio could´ve easily ran over the crackheads but no this guy runs over his own people and Housen
-why are the Oochi brother fighting in pimp coats?
-i love how soft Murayama is towards the other half timers
-the coolest introduction will always be Odajima´s Heya!That´s the housen killer corps have fun dying.
-Murayma with his Hyuga impression is adorable
-Fujio,Tsukasa and Jamuo running from Suzuran is the greatest ending ever.
99 notes · View notes
desultory-novice · 7 months
Note
I will 1000% ask about how your Meta-Knight ain't got no common sense :D Please, explain in detail.
Tumblr media
Before I start, I want it to be known - Meta Knight is among my top favorite characters. He WAS my favorite character before I got hyper-attached to the tricksters.
That said, I do not put him on the same pedestal most of the rest of the fandom (??) does. And I mean that lovingly. I'm all about having as many different interpretations of characters as possible. So if everyone else's Meta Knights are the smartest member of the main team, that's cool!
But I didn't grow up with the anime, where Meta Knight was the mentor and holder of the only braincell. I grew up with Kirby's Adventure where Meta Knight flings his mercenary group at you while also throwing you Invincibility Candy like he's meme Tuxedo Mask! And he's doing all this AFTER having been entrusted with a piece of the Star Rod by Dedede to stop Dream Land from being consumed by the literal incarnation of Nightmares!!
...Very responsible. :nod nod:
And Revenge of Meta Knight! As can be pointed out, Meta Knight is close enough with Dedede to be entrusted with a piece of the Star Rod and the secret of Dark Nebula's sealed treasure chest, but somehow, in-between these two events, he just randomly decides to START A COUP?! And it's because he thinks random military action will make the Dream Landers abandon their lazy ways!
I really don't think highly of the Return to Dream Land novelization but there's a scene early on where Kirby and Meta Knight are trying to talk down some enemies "peaceably" but the second one of them makes a single misstep, Meta Knight draws his sword like it's a fork at an all-you-can-eat buffet and immediately wants to DESTROY these two goons just because someone said the word "fight."
This one is more of a personal interpretation, but I laugh every time when fighting Meta Knight in Kirby's Epic Yarn because it just feels like every time you snatch the CLEARY EVIL sword away from him, he just grabs the next one without even thinking! (I mean, more likely it just takes him over while he's still fighting off the possession, but I can't imagine Meta Knight would refuse a sword even if it was labeled "Massively Evil - Do Not Touch.")
And he builds the Buddy Fight Tower with Dedede. I want to emphasize that. That wasn't Dedede saying he wants to build a 99-floor tower to fight Kirby and Meta Knight trying and failing to stop him. No, you can bet Meta was on board the whole time. The end credits make it clear they were always in this together.
He's Dedede's Sworn Partner. Not his Smart Partner.
I know I've made some comments about Meta in Amazing Mirror too in regards to the treatment of Dark Meta Knight. One possible interpretation I put forth, based on DMK's crazy pause lore is that Dark Meta Knight has been around for mu~ch longer than the plot of KatAM and yet Meta Knight thought it was cool to just keep a lid on the whole "parallel universe with my blood-thirsty combat-crazed doppleganger running around. Oh yeah, he can also LEAVE said parallel universe at will and has power over prismatic light and can split things into four but again, no need to warn anyone about that. I'll go off to smack him around myself and not tell anyone."
Meta Knight is kinda cringe. He's a big, huge dork. He thinks he knows what he's doing but he doesn't. You know how he likes books? And likes to read? So he's smart?!?
I point you to the Sweet Dreams, Kirby book where Meta Knight shows up with a friggin' encyclopediaat some UNGODLY hour of night and asks Kirby - KIRBY - if he WANTS TO READ WITH HIM!!
Tumblr media
No wonder Kirby doesn't grace that with a response.
Meta Knight is... kinda dumb. I'm sorry~! I love him as much as the rest of you do. I really, truly do. But he's a silly bat...
-
As for Marx's placement, to re-iterate what I wrote in the tags, Marx may have thought to wish on a planet-sized pocket watch to be able to do mischief all day long with no consequences, but at least he kept his plans to himself. He didn't linger around and get all chatty and give reasons for Kirby or the others to get suspicious.
He followed Kirby discretely, waited until THE perfect moment, backstabbed (back-kicked) Kirby into space and made his wish. Marx would have won if not for the Sparkle Stars saving Kirby's life AND providing him with a ship. And that was damn well nearly a deus ex machina save!
After Marx gets blown up and turned into meat spaghetti, the next time we see him, he's suddenly all playing nicey-nice with Kirby and friends! "Look! I'm a good guy now! Mwee hee hee!" But it's because he knows that Kirby can and will defeat him if he acts up. That Kirby will defy all logic to do it. As he has before.
...Marx learned his lesson FAST. Thus, why I judge him smart.
He is terminally silly though.
54 notes · View notes
cerastes · 1 year
Note
Why did Ch'en drop in the CN popularity poll when her alter is more powerful than her original?
Ch'en the Holungday was widely criticized by CN players when she was revealed because they were afraid that this would mark precedent for them releasing busted, tone deaf summer/holiday alts. I agree with CN.
Ch'en the Holungday is extremely busted, and not in the fun way: She's an M3 operator, that is, you only need to invest in one of her skills as opposed to two or three in order to get the most out of her, as all of her skills are pretty much the Exact Same with each skill just being outright better than the last one (this is very lazy design coming from a team that's known and praised for giving new 6*s at least 2 interesting and key skills).
Besides that, it's Ch'en, a character that has a lot of lore and that they could've done a lot more with, getting saddled with a bikini alt instead of something interesting. The summer fit could've easily just been a skin for either Guard Ch'en or whatever else they could've done with Holungday. It instead became her identity: A girl in a bikini with a water gun that completely outclasses proper combat-ready Operators in terms of firepower. It's just silly for a game that takes its lore and design as seriously as Arknights.
"But wait," you may say, "the Dossoles event explains this and that about her and the water gun and--", to be frank, all of that rings as hollow as "you see, it's VERY important for Silent to be almost naked at all times, it's essential to the lore", that is, just because a lore justification exists for something, doesn't mean it's a good one nor that it has to be accepted point blank without criticism. It's not good writing. It's a disservice to the character and to the fans.
Additionally, the original E2 art for Ch'en was low quality, with wonky proportions. She has since been fixed, but people will continue to dunk on it forever, as its become something of a meme.
So, to summarize, you end up with a tone deaf bikini Operator that is stupidly strong, brainlessly so even (even Surtr takes rubbing two braincells together at the very last, and she's as unga bunga as it gets) that requires minimum investment to absolutely wreck and that takes away a valuable opportunity from a character that is widely loved among fans, and at the moment, also served as a sort of harbinger of ill news in that if she was well received, Hypergryph might have gone ahead and made more tone deaf brainless gamebreakers and we just become Fire Emblem Heroes 2.
246 notes · View notes
alwaysbewoke · 2 years
Text
🗣🗣🗣🗣
so let's me take a crack at this.
coons: so this is the category that most black people think is the only category but that's a problem we'll discuss that later. but yeah coons (in this context) are black guys who straight-up hate black women cuz they've been brainwashed into believing that black women are base. bottom of the barrel. the worst of the worst. lowest of the low. they're not silent about their hatred of black women either. they mock black women and their appearance, their names, their dress, their style (while dating white women who do nothing but bite black women btw) and more. additionally they brag about their hatred of black women to  other haters of black women ESPECIALLY if those people are white people. these are the worst of the worst and while it is easy to simply hate them, the reality is they are victims of white supremacist brainwashing (which could be any of us since psychological warfare against white supremacist brainwashing is a constant thing that black people must engage in). not only that, sometimes these people grow up in homes that support these ideas. i wouldn't be surprised if often times behind a cooning black man there's a cooning mother and/or cooning father. like kanye said "hater niggas marry hater bitches and have hater kids." so these black men date outside of their race because they sincerely hate black women and they do so because they in truth hate themselves. this hatred of themselves is expressed in many ways but the hatred and mockery of black women is ALWAYS one of the ways it expresses itself. and now they go about trying to resolve that self hatred by chasing after white approval which they understand comes by showing disdain for black women (among other ways). now they will try and hide this fact under any number of bullshit excuses (like when those coons fresh&fit tried to make their hatred of black women about "preferences" (foh)) but it's always mega transparent to those with at least half a braincell.
trophy hunters: so these guys are very close to coons but they don't out right hate black women. in fact many trophy hunters have a history of dating black women but when it comes to serious, long term commitments, they're looking for a trophy and for them a trophy is always a non-black woman, usually a white woman. the brainwashing is virtually the same with these guys as it is with the coons because they've been led to believe that the signal that you've made it, that you are somebody, that you are at the top of the mountain is to have anyone on your arm other than a black woman. most often they have it in their minds that the woman that they need to have on their arm is a white woman. they've been convinced that white women are the zenith of femininity, elegance, grace, refinement, style, worthiness, etc.. like i said however they're not exactly coons in that they're not mocking black women, often they're not speaking ill of black women, and they even have a history of dating black women but their actions show that when it comes down to making that serious commitment or the person they want to have on their arm when they've "made it", they're not willing to do that for and/or with black women. in that regard that only slightly less brainwashed than coons but still fucked up nonetheless. once again, look at kanye.
made the best out of a unique situation: so now we're going to start to get into the categories that i think many black people refuse to understand exist and can lead to black men coupling and/or marrying women who are not black. there are many black men who are not currently living in a situation, in a place where they do NOT have access to a plethora of black women. i know for some there is this belief that all black people grow up and live in black communities surrounded by blackness 24/7 but that's not the reality for a lot of black people. there are black people right now who are born and  raised in places where there's maybe one or two (maybe three) other black families. and if the few black girls in that community, in that town aren't feeling you, what the fuck are you supposed to do? just be celibate? that's not how that should works. on top of that you have black men who are living outside the country for various reasons including work-related and military reasons. when i was a freshman in college, a senior i knew (who took me under his wing and also was a computer science major) right before graduation got a major job offer to go with a major company and making major dollars. the catch though was that this company was and still is located in japan (sounds like dwayne wayne type shit lmaoo). so he had to make a choice. either stay here in america for opportunities that weren't on that level or he had to bite the bullet move his entire life over to japan. now i don't know if you know this or not but japan is not exactly a place you're going to find a plethora of black people (men or women). especially not back in the day like i'm talkin about. so he moved to japan and many many many years later we friended each other on facebook and guess what? homie had a beautiful japanese wife and kids. why? not because he hated black women but his situation made it so that his options were different then mine and probably many of the black men reading this post. to bring this closer to home there are black athletes right now in sports like football who if they're going to make it to the nfl have to go play college sports in places where the student body is overwhelmingly white. so again, are we expecting them to be celibate if the few black women on campus aren't into them or aren't available? i know i'm not saying that. there are certain situations where your dating pool requires that you expand your options otherwise you just going to be lonely as fuck. shit one of my closest friends in the world a while back got relocated by his job to sweden hahaha. homie was making money but was lonely as shit. he had to make adjustments and yea dated a few swedish white girls because you're not running into a bunch of black girls over there. i understood 100%. these black men are just making the best out of this situation and i don't fault them no more than i would fault the number of black women who i know who were born and raised in places like idaho who dated mostly white boys because that's what that's what was around them. expand your mind on this one.
made a genuine connection: now this is the one that many black men and women refuse to accept is even possible but i'm here to tell you the world and human beings are complicated things. it is 100% possible to be a black man who doesn't hate black women, who isn't a coon, who isn't a trophy hunter and end up with a non-black woman because you made a genuine connection with one. i know for some this is sacrilege! this is unacceptable. this is beyond the pale. however again life isn't that simple. sometimes you meet someone and unexpectedly you have matching interest, matching goals, matching personalities, you find this person attractive and they just so happen to be a non-black person or, in the case of this specific topic, a non-black woman. this shit happens man.  there are many people reading this needs to grow up and realize that life isn't the straight line that you often think it is. it is 100% possible for a black man to not  be out here thinking or talkin about how black women are loud, black women are always angry, and all that other bullshit but just so happen to a fallen for someone who isn't black. what i typically find is that people who know that they are incapable of something can not fathom others having that ability since they know they can't do it. and so you have this weird projection where you know you could not be with a non black woman without hating on black women (or be with a non-black man without hating black men) so then it is impossible for you to understand how someone else could. so you end up shutting down or arguing with people about how is there is absolutely no way that is possible without being a traitor and all the while, in reality, you're just telling on yourself. now clearly i already listed out that they are coons and trophy hunters out here but they are also black men out here who just happen to have fallen for an asian chick, a hispanic chick,  a middle eastern chick and yes even a white chick. i know that last one made many faces go sideways and i get it. the realities of white racial hatred, white supremacy and the wounds thereof are very fresh for many and the idea of coupling with the people from the group who created and maintain this white supremacist hellscape wherein black people can be shot down by police and the cops just get a paid vacation or black college grad have the same shot at a job as non college grad whites with a criminal record and etc turns the stomach. i get 100% because i feel that way often too. however i can not deny the realities where i've met black men married to non-black women who are still down for the cause and yes love black women and want to see black women succeed. i've even met black women married to white women doing more in the community than many of the people who call him a coon. i'm not going to pretend that didn't happen and that can't be a reality. this inability in some of us to accept this reality ends up trickling down to how we treat black biracials (whose crime to some in the black community is just existing) but that's a whole other subject. so yeah the last one is simply; people make genuine connections (sometimes unexpectedly) with people outside of their race that includes black men.
so that may take. like the woman in the video said, leave black women out of this. if you're with a non-black woman (for whatever the reason (good, bad, whatever)) just fucking own it and move on.
thoughts?
843 notes · View notes
melishade · 4 months
Note
does a line of Dark Energon
AoP AU where it's not just Optimus who gets sent to Paradis, it's all his siblings. (yes, Solus & Megatronus are here too, no, the Allspark is still functional) Primus did a big oopsie. Cue sibling drama (Prima dealing with a guilty conscience over his List, but unable to articulate it, Megatronus being sad over stabbing Solus, Maximo being ostracized by his siblings over causing the above & him hiding how he feels with his own dickery) while Eren & Co have 12 new dads & a new mom.
Optimus: "How do 12 Primes not have one emotional braincell among them?' Prima: "I-" Megatronus: "That was your job, little brother. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Marleyan military units to deal with in the Middle East."
This is some of the wackiest shit I've heard...gimme that dark energon.
I actually have brought up with @justawannabearchaeologist and @echoblaze5 lol
But I'm gonna tweek this crack idea for fun.
So Optimus and Megatron still end up in the AOT world like in AOP. However, Primus and Vector monitoring the situation and realizes that not much is changing and see the Rumbling still coming into play.
Primus to his disciples: ...Soooooo.....
Half of them: NO!
(They are not happy with Primus' decision to not let Optimus rest for once!)
The Primes, excluding Vector because he has to watch time unfold, get dropped off in the AOT world. It's a bit awkward to see 11 new titans with crazy appearances and abilities. No one knows what to say, but then:
Nexus: Wanna see what I can do?! Half of the Primes as Nexus falls backwards: No! NO! NO!
Nexus falls apart and splits into his five parts: Hello!
Connie faints in response.
The Primes then immediately spot a flabbergasted Optimus and half of them tackle him into a hug. Happy to see him. Optimus has to explain that they are the original Primes, getting visible reactions out of everyone there. I, of course, won't go into a whole story. This is crack, but I have a few notes:
-Pixis passes out at the sight of Solus.
-Quintus and Hanji immediately become friends, only to have them be separated from each other because of unethical experimentation they've been conducting. Hanji gave Quintus too many notes on Titans.
-Everyone, and I mean everyone, has issues with Alpha Trion and how he completely fucked over both Optimus and Megatron. Megatron is surprised that some of the Survey Corps are actually defending him against him.
-All the Primes are eyeing Eren with extreme caution because Vector has described him as a coin-toss in regards to future events. He either destroys or saves the world and it terrifies them.
-Megatronus does his best to not be involved. (RID2015 is non-canon and I liked the Aligned Megatronus better). He doesn't want to fight and does his best to refuse to help because he's afraid of making the same mistakes. He's also not happy with Megatron for tarnishing his name once again! He's already sabotaged himself once! C'mon! (That doesn't stop the Survey Corps from trying to talk to him)
-All the Primes want Megatron dead, especially Liege, because apparently Megatron was the one who graverobbed him and stole his arm.
Liege pulling out his dagger: An arm for an arm, fragger!
Megatron: You weren't even using it!
Liege: THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!
Megatron gets stabbed a lot.
-Amalgamous scares everyone with how much he shapeshifts.
-The Survey Corps see how often the Primes argue and feel bad for Optimus. He's just the youngest sibling in a sea full of idiots that share only one braincell.
-Sasha enjoys Onyx Prime greatly.
Long story short, Marley is screwed. They can't counter divine intervention.
20 notes · View notes
starry-blue-echoes · 1 year
Text
no way me? actually finishing a snippet for once? the world must be ending
but also no joke I've had this in my WIPs since mid October and I'm SO happy it's finally done :>
It's been a while since I did anything with the Vampric Joot In Italy With Vampiric Giorno, so how about we change that :)
(also, sorta? warning for implied vomiting. It's not graphic but the implications are there)
----------
Abbacchio didn’t trust the new guys. Didn’t like them either.
Now, this came to the surprise of literally nobody, including himself. He didn’t like people in general, simple as that.
(Well. Except for Bruno. But he was a literal angel among men and only an idiot wouldn’t like him. At the very least he could agree upon that with the kids.)
But this was different. The newbies were….. weird.
Giorno was a blonde little brat who looked like he hadn’t struggled a day in his life. He was too…… perfect looking, not a single blemish to be seen or hair out of place. No matter where you looked, and believe me Abbacchio had looked hard, there wasn’t a flaw to be found. He always moved with a stupid amount of poise and grace, footsteps quiet like a cat’s and never once looking caught off guard. And the kid wasn’t just a pretty face either, he was smart. He noticed things, small little things that usually only Abbacchio noticed. The kid knew about Abbacchio’s distaste. He definitely knew about the tea. But instead of getting pissy or tattling on Bucciarati, he stayed quiet.
On top of pissing him off, all of it was just plain freaky.
And Jotaro…..
Well. Where to even start with the bastard.
Under normal circumstances, Abbacchio would’ve had begrudging respect for him. He made it clear he wasn’t interested in any of them, but didn’t take any bullshit. He was built like a fucking truck, taller than even Abbacchio was, but he wasn’t a meathead and actually had some braincells. He was admittedly similar to Giorno when it came to brains and noticing things, but he was different in his execution. Blunter for one thing, not even bothering with any pretty words or manipulations. He gave the hard straight facts without any bullshit.
Unfortunately for him, any and all possible respect was thrown out the window because of his stupid fucking outfit.
He’d heard his explanation along with the rest of them when Narancia got nosey and asked. The simple “I’m allergic to the sun” without any elaboration.
And Abbacchio was calling bullshit.
That guy was wrapped up in so many layers that you couldn’t see a spot of skin anywhere. If the sun really was that dangerous for the man then why the hell had he joined the mafia? Abbacchio’s closet could attest to the fact that this line of work went though more clothes than the average person would want to deal with, from bullet holes to knife wounds to whatever the fuck could happen in a Stand Fight.
Unless Jotaro had a complete and total disregard for his life, it didn’t hold up. People only covered up that much when they didn’t want to be recognized and had absolutely no shot at a disguise.
Hence Abbacchio’s current plan.
Jotaro was currently gone with Narancia to grab groceries and wouldn’t be back for another hour. Fugo refused to leave the patio and was waiting for them to come back. Mista was doing a perimeter sweep outside. Bruno and Giorno were talking in the living room. Trish had holed herself up in her room.
Meaning no one was around to see him using Moody to get some answers.
Jotaro had also very conveniently gone upstairs before he’d gone to leave with Narancia, and the stairs themselves were quite loud. Only Trish was up there in her room, so Abbacchio didn’t even have to run the risk of someone sneaking up on him and asking questions (lord knows Bruno wouldn’t be happy if he ever found out). Now, he wasn’t quite sure where upstairs Jotaro had gone, but he could simply follow Moody, so easy fix.
Moody Blues slowly peeled off of him and stood, the digital clock on its head gradually ticking up until it slowed to a stop at around 23 minutes and 56 seconds.
“Let’s see what you’re hiding beneath that coat.” he muttered to himself, eyes narrowing as Moody slowly shifted. It took barely a second before it changed, and soon enough Jotaro was standing right in front of him on the stairs.
“Play,” he commanded.
The copy took a few slow, expected steps up the stairs.
And then just as he left the view of the main room.
He vanished.
Suddenly and abruptly, Jotaro was gone. He didn’t seem to be hit by anything, he didn’t even fade or fizzle out. Just one moment he was there and the next he was gone and Moody reverted back to its usual form.
For a moment Abbacchio had thought that something was wrong with Moody. He rewinded the Stand briefly…. but the exact thing happened again.
What the fuck.
Okay, wait, think about this logically. It obviously wasn’t an attack or anything the man thought was dangerous, meaning Jotaro was likely the one responsible. Abbacchio still didn’t know what his Stand could do, none of them did, but whatever it was it was fucking fast. Much faster than a human. First there was how he managed to get to the docks before they had, then there was catching Zucchero on the boat. Who’s to say he didn’t use it to move. Based on how he’d only been upstairs for a few minutes, he likely hadn’t gone that far.
He felt out with Moody, feeling for the echoes of people who had walked these halls. No one had been here very recently thank god, but it still took a moment until-
There.
Behind one of the doors. Not Trish’s thankfully, that would’ve been awkward, but instead the door next to it.
Abbacchio easily closed the distance, walking up the last few remaining stairs and down the hall, and behind the door was……
The bathroom.
Moody quickly zipped over to where Jotaro had been by the toilet, and for a brief second Abbacchio was ready to skip over it…… 
But the man was hunched over it.
The layers of cloth were peeled away from his face but his hunched over frame prevented Abbacchio from getting a clear look.
But even without seeing his face, it was obvious he was sick.
Okay…… definitely not what he expected. The man hadn’t shown any signs of being sick earlier, so that either meant the apparent nausea had been very sudden or the guy was really good at hiding it.
Abbacchio sped up the replay. Even with the fast forward, it took a few seconds before Jotaro finally stood up, flushing the toilet as he did so. He made his way over to the sink and-
“Pause.” he commanded his Stand.
-and Abbacchio couldn’t help but stare.
He looked… okay this was going to sound crazy, but he didn’t look that human.
The features were…. wrong. He had two eyes, a nose, mouth, all the features that most people had but at the same time it was off. Like the strangeness of Giorno cranked up to an 11. His eyes were a blue almost as vibrant as the sky and sea itself, but around the pupils (which were too sharp too long not right) they were crackled with bits of red like shattered glass. And his skin, it was horrifyingly pale, almost looking translucent in some places. Abbacchio could practically count the veins and-
And now that he was looking at his face, he noticed Jotaro looked…. boney. His eyes were gaunt and his cheeks were hollow, the latter only being accentuated further by his sharp cheekbones.
Definitely way too boney to be losing meals like that.
There was also a strange…… youthfulness to his appearance. From the way he spoke and acted Abbacchio had assumed he was in his late 20s, maybe early 30s, but under the face mask he looked……. young, sorta. Sure the gaunt features and sheer exhaustion made him look older but if you were to fill him out a bit more…….
He looked like a teenager.
And that made a little, minuscule piece of Abbacchio squirm a bit. He was an asshole but…… nobody, especially not a kid (if Jotaro even was one), deserved to look like that.
During his time on the force he’d seen a few cases that still kept him up at night. And some of those cases had involved kids who were far too skinny and quiet with eyes that should’ve been bright holding nothing but a look no child should ever have.
And whil Jotaro wasn’t anywhere near their ages, the look in his eyes was pretty similar.
There was a muted pain in those blue orbs. A tenseness in his face, a heaviness in his shoulders, slight indents in his lips that spoke of having gnawed on them far too many times but lacking any scars.
But it looked so…… normal to the man. A whispered  “play” sent Moody back into motion and he was just…… casual. His movements were easy and practiced, and not once did his expression shift.
This was frankly none of his business. He’d done this to figure out Jotaro’s identity and any possible threats, not analyze him for any…… whatever the hell this was.
So why did Abbacchio feel like he accidentally stumbled upon a rabbit hole far deeper than he first anticipated.
86 notes · View notes
culxiaa-fn · 2 years
Text
Flying together!
(ft The First Year gang!)
A (kinda) continuations of THIS
---[masterlist]---
-------------------------------------------
Imagine the First Year students have a joint PE class and they take turns taking kantokusei flying together.
[A/N: This is very fun to imagine and write! I hope all of you are having fun reading this too. Also- English is not my first language! ]
-------------------------------------------
Ace Trappola
//Ace's part is teenie tiny borderline romantic cause I headcanon Ace have a teenie tiny crush at Prefect and he is in denial//
Ace at first kinda being a tsundere about it
"ah~ what a hopeless prefect we have here... I will let you fly with me if you beg for it~
Then Deuce will be volunteering to be the first. Then our Tsun tsun Ace will definitely said something about Deuce definitely drop both of them.
"Fancy coming from someone that chicken out."
They definitely gonna fight
"Fine! I will show you how it done!"
Ace is good at using wind magic (he traded it with Azul on chapter 3)
I bet this bastard purposely boosts the speed using his wind magic just to scare Kantokusei a little.
But then he saw how happy kantokusei was to finally be able to join them at flying lessons.
He put a lot of efforts to make this experience memorable for kantokusei
Deuce Spade
Deuce the one that actually volunteered himself first
"Kantokusei, it's my first time flying with someone, but I promise not to drop both of us!”
(I need to put more magic since there are two people riding...)
The magic broom immediately shoots up to the sky
The others try to prepare incase both of them behin to fall
Unlike Ace, flying with Deuce is a bit... Shaky...
This is the first time he actually fly with someone.
Just in case he lost control and to avoid an unpredictable accident happening, Deuce didn't dare to fly so high... Well if we fall we probably have only a few bruises.
Jack Howl
" I have better control compared to them, so we won't fall unless you squirm so much"
Surprisingly offered kantokusei to ride with him...
Though he reassures kantokusei that he will NOT drop them, Jack promises that he will take the fall damage IF they somehow fall.
Jack practices Magical Shift every morning with other Savanaclaw students.
So, among all the First Year Jack is the number one person you trust to not drop you.
Albeit sometimes questioning how many braincells exactly they have, Jack actually care about them. Especially Kantokusei! He respect them so much because they always have to deal with a lot of nonsense.
Epel Felmiere
He took this as a challenge for himself actually...
" I'm used to riding with people! I will not lose to them!"
"just hold tight, and you're gonna have a blast!"
Epel got some experience riding the broom with someone!
He helped around with his family apple orchard.
He told kantokusei how fun it is to pick the apple together on a broom.
Took this as an opportunity to tell stories when his family picked apples together.
Sebek Zigvolt
" I refuse to ride my broom with a human"
Immediately refuse as soon as he realizes others are looking at him.
"... Fine- I will ask Tsunotaro if he will kindly fly with me..."
"WAIT HUMAN- HOW DARE YOU WANT TO WASTE WAKA-SAMA'S TIMES WITH THIS TRIVIAL STUFF!!!"
Expect him to give his 100% on this...
As Malleus-sama royal knight, he will give his all... and consider you are waka-sama's best friend....
He will not bring shame to Malleus so you can rest assured that there will be no accident...
Although... Do expect your eardrum to burst considering he will be lecturing you on the air...
379 notes · View notes
mariana-oconnor · 6 months
Text
The Devil's Foot pt 3
The last part of the story and still no devilish feet in sight. I have to assume it's the name of the drug at this point, because otherwise I don't know what's going on.
Last time Holmes and Watson did a very stupid thing and almost died a very stupid death. Then they declared their undying devotion to each other and it would have all been ever so sweet if I hadn't wanted to bonk their heads together to try to get their brains working via percussive maintenance.
Tumblr media
⬆️Holmes and Watson's last two braincells there, right before they killed them inhaling an incredibly fast acting lethal poison.
"It would be superfluous to drive us mad, my dear Watson," said he. "A candid observer would certainly declare that we were so already before we embarked upon so wild an experiment."
Holy shit, that poison gave Holmes the ability to read my mind.
"But the cause remains as obscure as before."
I wonder. Could the weird poison that Holmes doesn't appear to have come across before possibly be linked to the famous explorer/adventurer/lion guy who has been to many exotic and distant locales?
Maybe?
Perhaps?
"I think we must admit that all the evidence points to this man, Mortimer Tregennis, having been the criminal in the first tragedy, though he was the victim in the second one. We must remember, in the first place, that there is some story of a family quarrel, followed by a reconciliation. How bitter that quarrel may have been, or how hollow the reconciliation we cannot tell. When I think of Mortimer Tregennis, with the foxy face and the small shrewd, beady eyes behind the spectacles, he is not a man whom I should judge to be of a particularly forgiving disposition."
Multiple murderers? How very un-Occam of you, Holmes. I did entertain the possibility for myself for a little while. But if he did the first one he must have been in league with the second murderer, or at least close enough that they knew what he'd done. (By second murderer, I mean lion guy. Unless it turns out to be the housekeeper getting revenge. The only other option is the vicar and he'd have to be supremely arrogant to have brought both crimes to Holmes' attention).
Also, we've been through how you shouldn't judge people's characters based on their appearance, well, not their facial features.
But yeah, this all lines up with what I was saying at the start before Lion guy showed up.
I had heard the click of the garden gate, and now the majestic figure of the great African explorer appeared upon the path.
In my head, this guy is literally just an anthropomorphic lion.
Tumblr media
For a moment I wished that I were armed. Sterndale's fierce face turned to a dusky red, his eyes glared, and the knotted, passionate veins started out in his forehead, while he sprang forward with clenched hands towards my companion. Then he stopped, and with a violent effort he resumed a cold, rigid calmness, which was, perhaps, more suggestive of danger than his hot-headed outburst.
This is the sign of an entirely rational and calm human being.
"I have lived so long among savages and beyond the law," said he, "that I have got into the way of being a law to myself. You would do well, Mr. Holmes, not to forget it, for I have no desire to do you an injury."
Yep...
He's clearly in no way a danger to society.
Absolutely not. I would feel completely safe in his presence.
I do not understand why he has such a strong and obvious reaction to the first bit, then attempts to back pedal and be all 'No idea what you're talking about'.
I mean, I do get it, but I don't get why he thinks it's going to work. As previously stated he absolutely should keep asserting that he has no idea what they are talking about. But it's such a transparent ploy after he's already lost his cool.
"I saw no one." "That is what you may expect to see when I follow you."
This line goes hard.
I love it.
Ninja Sherlock
🥷
"Yes, Brenda Tregennis," repeated our visitor. "For years I have loved her. For years she has loved me. There is the secret of that Cornish seclusion which people have marvelled at. It has brought me close to the one thing on earth that was dear to me. I could not marry her, for I have a wife who has left me for years and yet whom, by the deplorable laws of England, I could not divorce."
ACD's war against the British divorce laws continues. I have tried to look up the history of divorce law in the UK, but it is an incredibly tangled web that I do not have the inclination to untangle at this time. Although I just learnt that until 2012 people in this country couldn't get married before 8am or after 6pm. Weird.
I think we can all agree, though, that ACD thought the divorce laws were bloody stupid and he was right.
On the outside was written "Radix pedis diaboli" with a red poison label beneath it. He pushed it towards me. "I understand that you are a doctor, sir. Have you ever heard of this preparation?" "Devil's-foot root!"
Tumblr media
"The root is shaped like a foot, half human, half goatlike; hence the fanciful name given by a botanical missionary."
But how tho?
Which half? I don't understand how you can have half of each of these... does it have toes? Is it a hoof? How? I cannot work out what this would look like at all.
Does it have five little hoof toes?
I don't understand.
"Among other things I exhibited this powder, and I told him of its strange properties, how it stimulates those brain centres which control the emotion of fear, and how either madness or death is the fate of the unhappy native who is subjected to the ordeal by the priest of his tribe."
Mortimer. Mortimer, Mortimer, Mortimer. You're dead, so I guess this doesn't really matter now, but you don't... take the incredibly obvious poison from the incredibly mentally unhinged man and then use it when he's still in the country. Not when it has such obvious and unique effects. This is what is called Bad Planning and Obvious.
It's like you wanted him to kill you. Is that victim blaming? probably. But you're also a murderer, so... does it balance out?
Also, Mr Lion Man, don't... tell people about your weird crazy poisons and then follow it up with 'also you could kill people with it in this country and law enforcement would never be able to detect it, lol.' Especially not if you're suspicious of the guy.
So many bad decisions in this story.
"I well remember how he plied me with questions as to the amount and the time that was needed for its effect, but I little dreamed that he could have a personal reason for asking."
Tumblr media
Yeah, because that's a really unsuspicious line of questioning.
'So, this undetectable horrific poison. How much would I need to use... hypothetically, of course... to like... kill three people. In a room the size of... ooh, say my siblings' card room? And how long would it take? Just asking... out of curiosity. No reason other than purely scientific interest. I'd never actually kill anyone with it. Bu-ut if I wanted to...'
Lion man... you should not be allowed access to hazardous materials. Your OSHA compliance is poor. That needs to be in a locked poison cabinet. You shouldn't be handling it without PPE and you definitely shouldn't be letting untrained and unvetted people in there.
"My soul cried out for revenge. I have said to you once before, Mr. Holmes, that I have spent much of my life outside the law, and that I have come at last to be a law to myself."
Tumblr media
But sure, he can get off because he was killing the first murderer... I guess. I'm not as sympathetic towards him as I've been towards previous people. Maybe because he doesn't strike me as the kind of person for whom this was his first or last kill. His reaction to Holmes seems like he's prepared to just murder anyone who gets in his way. Previously the people Holmes has let go have been people who killed as a last desperate attempt to free themselves or were pushed too far past their breaking point in one instance.
This guy just... seems like he wouldn't bat an eyelid at killing again. And again. And again. For far less reason.
"And now, my dear Watson, I think we may dismiss the matter from our mind and go back with a clear conscience to the study of those Chaldean roots which are surely to be traced in the Cornish branch of the great Celtic speech.”
I still think this is nonsense, but sure. I have discovered that apparently someone somewhere apparently wrote Holmes' paper on the subject and published it in 1998. Which is a thing.
Thanks Watson for warning me against poisoning myself. I'll bear that in mind. Perhaps you could take your own medical advice?
23 notes · View notes