@some-random-french-pastry It's a good thing you followed me right after you reblogged that Toph in Fornite post because you reminded me of my headcanon Percy plays Fornite and loves it completely unironically💀I have a bit of expansion too

It's caused by her being autistic with one of her special interest's being video games(I use she/her for Percy a lot because i'm a huge transfem Percy believer)

The only reason she didn't get into it as soon as she found out about it is that it's potrayed as 'a cringe loser game' so her insecurities made her avoid it but after a big confidence boost caused by a mix of plot and embracing her girlhood,she gave it a shot and is now a megafan

She's got sooooooo many skins unlocked and knows a couple of the dances irl

Pro-gamer as she is with her other games,she's an absolute monster at it

Nico and Hazel play it with her too sometimes and usually have matching characters

Not technically Fornite related but she's not a regular doritos and montain dew gamer.She's a cool ranch doritos and energy drinks gamer girl

Just a thought

My old computer, running Windows XP since 2001, basically growing up with me since I was born in the same year, just completely gave up, leaving uncountable memories inside it. (I actually have photos and stuff backupped luckily, but I'm still pretty sad.)

I've been complaining since the release of Windows 8 that tech aesthetic was becoming too minimal, kept my first phone, a Nokia 6280 and my dad's 6600 and Sony Ericsson k700 in top shape next to my smartphone, because I always loved the colorful backgrounds and icons and sounds, but always got called the "young outside and old inside" by my middle school mates back then.

And now discovering Frutiger Aero and thousands of more nostalgic like me made me discover I'm not alone! I almost cried unironically. what a sappy lil girl I am.

I made this orb using random Photoshop stamp brushes and looking at most Frutiger Aero wallpapers and layouts. Does winter and FA match? I think they do. Nothing really important but felt like it matched my thought.

House of Wax Religon Headcanons

CW: Catholicism, Talk of religion, Abuse, religious abuse, physical abuse.

This is basically just what I believe the brothers beliefs are. I thought about it last night and decided to write it.

Bo Sinclair:

Catholic through and through, he never stopped believing in God. He also believes he will never be forgiven until the town is complete (kinda a cult mentality).

Thinks his Ma is in heaven and she talked to God and told him Bo wasn’t allowed up until he did everything she asked of him and stopped being a “problem child”

I think he and Vincent had to be those kids that had their parent sit between them during Mass, (my sister and I were those kids).

Definitely had fits on the way to Church cause Mass was boring and he didn’t wanna go. (My Church had a kids Mass but their church is small so in my opinion they didn’t have that)

Got the shit beat outta him a few times cause he knocked over some of the candles or decided to mess around with a kid in the pew in front of him.

Used to pray kneeling at his bed right after Trudy died but eventually stopped and just kinda lays awake at night talking to God.

He has a rosary in his suit pocket, bedroom, and in his truck.

Gets hymns stuck in his head sometimes and plays them on the piano (doesn’t have the same feel as the Church’s organ but it satisfies)

Struggles with internalized homophobia

Still genuflects, does the sign of the cross, and all that out of habit.

Goes to at least visit the Church on Sunday and he doesn’t “work” that day either.

-

Vincent:

Atheist: Doesn’t believe in a higher power.

He stopped believing in God around 14. It was honestly because of how his parents treated Bo and how Bo and him turned out.

If God existed why did he end up with half a face? Why didn’t God allow Bo and him to separate before birth? Would’ve saved them so much trouble..

Fell asleep during Mass a lot but no one ever noticed cause he mastered waking up when they had to stand or kneel or sit. (He’d fall asleep standing and kneeling too)

Since he doesn’t believe in God he doesn’t really have a moral compass (didn’t see the need for one after he started killing)

The only reason he is still doing what his Ma wanted is because Bo convinced him and it’s about the legacy. Someone eventually will stumble across the completed town and see who Trudy Sinclair truly was.

He honestly went back and forth with believing and not but after awhile he gave up the fight.

Never struggled with homophobia, he just kinda like sits there and vibes.

-

Lester Sinclair: Agnostic

Lester still has a rosary in his truck glove compartment but he doesn’t really believe in God, or any religion but he doesn’t NOT believe in God or any religion.

He just kinda exists and he knows his brothers exist.

Sometimes when he worries he prays to whoever will listen

He believes his Ma and Pa are somewhere awful and that’s all.

He was an alter boy. Was how he thought he could get his parents attention.

May or may not have broken wine cups, bowls, the water jar and more from being an alter boy.

Bo and Vincent managed to cheer him up after he thought he disappointed everyone by breaking things.

Used to talk to the old ladies behind him during Mass.

Honestly thought about being a priest for a bit but decided not to about a month later cause it looked like too much work.

Lester struggled slightly with internalized homophobia but I think he does in fact go by Yolo (Ik so 2012 of me) unironically and just decides that he’s gonna live the life he wants.

He gets hurt by judgey people but in the end it doesn’t matter.

My MHA/BNHA headcanons :)

• Mirio wanted to be an actor when he was young, and even starred in a few commercials.

• Dabi loves messing with the heroes so much that he randomly posts pictures from new online accounts of him posing and flipping of the camera over a recent crime.

• Kirishima was a very bitey child which really sucked for the people he bit.

• Tsuyu had a little tadpole tail in early elementary school.

• Ochaco goes on tumblr on a secret account so she could talk to people who were fans of hers, and later surprise them by revealing herself.

• Todoroki was and forever will be terrified of the movie Coraline.

• Tokoyami is a very small streamer who frequently plays horror games.

• Not related but that last one made me imagine a very smol Tokoyami trying to play video games.

• Bakugo was caught watching Hamilton.

• Denki found the edits of them all...

• Aoyama types 《☆°sigh°☆》 in the middle of text conversations.

• Kirishima and Denki really like Gorillaz.

• The class once saw Aizawa hopping in his sleeping bag after a cat ran out of said sleeping bag.

• Aizawa gave extra points to Ochaco one time because she doodled the class as cats at the bottom of her paper.

• Mineta is in heavy trouble with the teachers and Nezu, so much so that they are majorly considering putting Shinso in his place in class while he gets expelled for constantly harassing other students.

• Erasermic family (Aizawa, Mic, Shinso, and Eri)

• Shouji only removes his mask around certain people. Those people include Tokoyami, Tsu, Aoyama, and Kouji.

• He does this only with them because they make him feel appreciated and normal in different ways, even though being quote unquote "normal" in this world is so impossible with everyone's different takes on what normality even is.

• Shoto writes letters to Touya and keeps them in a safe little box. He always knew Touya would never see them, but it felt nice to feel like he was talking to him again.

• Sero ironically uses the word "icky".

• Aoyama says "icky" too, but completely and undeniably unironically.

• Hagakure had a point in her life where she tied a balloon to herself so people would know she was there.

• Jirou and Bakugo started to slightly get along after Bakugo revealed he could play drums. Not friends, but having a shared bond over music, even if they were into different genres.

• Momo donates to toy drives A LOT. Especially around Christmas.

• Ojiro used to play volleyball in Middle School by using his tail.

• Satou always bakes for the class after something big happens, and he gives extra to Momo if she fought because he knows she is weaker than usual.

• Kouda volunteers at animal hospitals whenever he gets free time

• Iida ugly cried watching Fruits Basket.

• Mina kind of regretted her hero name when she eventually graduated and became an actual hero.

• Don't worry though because the moment a little boy with purple skin came running up to her almost crying, she was perfectly fine with the name.

• Deku is 100% All might's secret love child. (Todoroki:* transforms into the 'ooh' cat from Puss in Boots*)

need more apollo and darren lore to see if i can relate them to back to december

you can ONE HUNDRED PERCENT relate them to back to december if you just ignore the tiny detail of them not breaking up in december (but like, who cares because it’s the VIBE that matters and in this case the vibe is definitely accurate)

i will definitely be adding more apollo and darren lore…let’s just say… archery world championships happening soon…. olympics in one year…. kayla’s an icon mastermind…..

but! some little notes in specific relation to back to december

i know you may think this is apollos pov, but after looking over the lyrics again to refresh my memory… it’s from darren’s perspective. 100%

I'm so glad you made time to see me / How's life? Tell me, how's your family? / I haven't seen them in a while

apollos family!! not referring to his dad. duh. but darren’s prob just talking abt like the 1-2 times he met will and austin as babies, he hasn’t seen them since so “a while”…. sure darren, that might be a bit of an understatement

You've been good, busier than ever / We small talk, work and the weather / Your guard is up and I know why

small talk is SO real with them. they’re so awkward esp rn. they don’t know how to talk to each other. apollo says “nice weather we’re having” completely unironically and darren responds “oh yeah it’s nice”

cue silence for like 2 minutes until apollo asks how his coaching is going and more and more stilted conversation

AND!!! they’re both busier than ever!! apollo returning to being employed (kinda? i mean, he has a job so) and darren with olympics being next year

Because the last time you saw me / Is still burned in the back of your mind / You gave me roses and I left them there to die

i don’t wanna spoil exactly how they broke up… bc me and wronghuntress had like an hour long convo abt pollen lore a few weeks back and. guys. when i tell you i am SO fucking excited to write it‼️‼️

HOWEVER. this line. is very. very. very. fitting. from darren’s pov that’s all i’m saying hereeee

bc ik in one of the other chapters i said that apollos like “i ruined his life” and he DID but also like. it’s messy. it’s so very messy.

So this is me swallowin' my pride / Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night / And I go back to December all the time

not technically in front of him but!! the phone call!! abt kayla!! him swallowing up his pride, and there wasn’t necessarily an apology for the… things that happened, but it’s a step forward

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you / Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine / I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright / I go back to December all the time

change it to march and make darren a singer instead of an archer and this would be one of his songs😭😭

These days, I haven't been sleepin' / Stayin' up playin' back myself leavin' / When your birthday passed and I didn't call / Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times / I watched you laughin' from the passenger's side / And realized I loved you in the fall

god… this timeline is actually SO real. if anyone’s making a pollen playlist out there (i should probably do that when i have timeHDKDJD) THIS SONG‼️‼️‼️

anyway ofc apollo is associated with summer in darren’s brain… and also apollo def thinks of summer too when thinking of darren :)

and oh yeah, ofc apollo’s in the passenger seat. bro probably grew up with drivers and doesn’t have his license.. rip sun chariot!!! (he gets his license eventually, ofc, but only bc it’s to drive will to school)

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile / So good to me, so right

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

i mean, do these even need to be explained? well darren, i can assure you that you WILL love again. it’s what we all need

okay so. i can’t really. explain the rest of this stuff. but here are the lyrics that stand out to me SOOO much because of how they broke up. that is all i can say for now!!

And then the cold came, the dark days / When fear crept into my mind / You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

And how you held me in your arms that September night / The first time you ever saw me cry

thank you so much for the ask!! it’s been a while since some pollen content but i swear it’s coming soon :))

started watching delicious in dungeon/dungeon meishi (sp?). or as i like to call it

~*AUTISM COOKING DUNGEON*~

dear god y'all have undersold this to me. and like i get it. spoilers and all that. but holy shit

our boy isn't like... "tee-hee little-bit of autistic, just a smidge" like you were all making me think. no no. no, this guy is DEEPLY autistic. we're talking "normally we only give THIS much autism to aliens and robots" kind of autism. the "i need an allistic translator for my social fubars" autism (rip your sister dude). the "i learned a thing! so now im not gonna shut up about it for at least an hour" autism.

and they gave this to THE ONE SINGULAR HUMAN IN THE PARTY. this guy is a HUMAN FIGHTER/KNIGHT-type that is like the MOST BORING/NORMIE shit in a d&d style setting. that is "why are you even playing a fantasy game?" level of normie shit.

and THAT is who gets to be The Party Freak(tm)

i love it. completely unironically/unsarcasticly i love it. they took the "that much autism isn't human anymore" bullshit thats so prolific its basically a trope and went NOPE FUCK THAT NOISE

what i find unforgivable though is that none of you mentioned he's a Kronk too.

boy sounds SO SO STUPID but is so so smart when you actually listen to what the fuck he's on about now (and think on why he's on about it right then). he's a big tank (literally in the fantasy class sense) that just wants to help everyone and do his little special interest shit on the side. and it is on the side because the other two seem like they had no idea it was more than trivia until he didn't have to help micromanage a massive party. like this shit has clearly been on repeat in his brain in the background for A WHILE but he was so busy helping/keeping everyone alive it got shoved aside of his outward behavior unless it was useful. he is a lovable dorky himbo and NONE of you mentioned this.

anyway, i'm also loving the way this whole show is basically only like this because him and senshi are vibing on the same wavelength and the other two are basically just along for the ride to save their friend/part member

the whole thing has a Green Eggs and Ham kind of thing going on with it too. but like...environmentalist about it? like it was more subtle about the whole "hey maybe work WITH your current environment rather than against it" bit and then we found out what senshi normally does and subtlety just went right out the fucking window on that front.

i'm also liking the way it both explores the horrors of dying in a world where being brought back to life is common, while also kind of...poking fun at it? like its reminding me of a thing i heard something like "the difference between comedy and tragedy is how far from it you are" kind of concept.

like they are so fucking ... how the fuck do you spell it blase? with the little "/" over the e. that. the story is so bland in how it handles how people came back from horrific deaths and yet when the characters have to face things that remind them of their own it gets heartbreaking very quickly. but like...chillchuck. goddamn. we get just enough from his perspective that its harrowing but the way its shown to us the reader/viewer is like a comedy skit

cause like...its both.

these guys keep dying/nearly dying to THE. SAME. FUCKING. SHIT.

mage elf is slimebait, chillchuck is basically Dungeon Canary with an emphasis on mimics, and himbro over here is gonna get himself killed trying to pet/eat a new monster no one else knows about at some point. probably why his sister seems to have specialized in healing magic.

i know the fandom is thinking once they get his sister back that she's gonna be Just Like Him but i think it would be much funnier AND more 'realistic' if they were classic autism-adhd alliance but siblings about it. like him being better at staying on a task and her being better at navigating social cues and shit. and both of them with their own little special interest energy. i'm betting her's is magic. and thats why even magic elf is like "omg shes so good at magic i'm no where near that level" about it. i mean its also the lesbianism but there IS more to that than thirst from what i've seen.

anyway i'm 6 episodes into what seems to be 12 available on netflix and i'm already hooked. might have to see if i can get my hands on the manga or something too

Here is my my journey to realising I’m demiromantic asexual, and it does go into some sexual stuff, so if you don’t want to read it… don’t read it.

I never “forced” myself to have a crush, but I did think “oh this is how everyone feels”

Like in year 6 for the school disco everyone was asking people out and my friends were saying how they had to get a date soon and I was already pretty friendly with the girls and also could see that the “dates” were pretty pointless/meaningless so I just asked out one of the girls I liked (in a platonic way) and when it came to the actual dance we, like everyone else, basically instantly did our own thing.

In high school, year 9 I think, I was really good friends with this one girl, who said she had a crush on me, and I had the thing where I wanted to be closer friends with her and thought “oh so this is what a crush is!” So “went out” with her, but basically nothing changed, so I didn’t really think about it much. But eventually it got pretty bad as she was thinking about it as a relationship and I was thinking about it as “just friends”. I think that was the first time I realised that SOMETHING about me was different, and I think a year later I learnt about asexuality & aromanticism and had that “ohhhhhhhh” moment.

Then after that, in year 11, I got REEEEALLY close to someone, to the point where we literally made out and I was like “it should be normal for friends to kiss that was great”. But after a good few weeks of being intensely close I actually did start to fall in love. They were a pretty sexual person and I started to imagine me… “pleasuring” them, and that was when I thought “maybe I’m not aroace?”, anyway we entered a relationship, it was lovely, but as our relationship became more sexual it became clear that we were different.

This is where it starts to get maybe a bit TMI so if you don’t want to read anything sexual leave now

I would only ever pleasure them, and I never really gave any thought to receiving anything back. But then one day they asked if they could and I was like “sure” and I just… didn’t feel anything? Like I’ve masturbated before it’s not like I’m completely numb or anything but when it was this person that I loved with all my heart and who I had literally just fingered touching me I just didn’t feel anything? Like of course I could feel them but like it wasn’t pleasure or anything it was literally the same sensation as if they had touched my arm or something. Afterwards I said that I’d just prefer to be the one giving and not receive, but if they wanted to give that’d be fine. Like I didn’t HATE it, it was quite fun, the person I love was trying to make me feel good y’know it felt nice, but purely emotionally. Physically it just didn’t feel like anything.

Over time they got “better”, I’d actually feel good instead of literally nothing, but still not enough to actually enjoy or want to do it, and I still only ever did it when they wanted to. A few times they have head and it was alright, but once again it was just kind of… meh. As I said they were a very sexual person, so they didn’t just want to receive but to give too. But the way they said that was that they “felt bad about not doing anything” to which I responded that I didn’t mind at all, I only wanted to make them feel good, so I thought it was fine and they would just appreciate being a “pillow princess” as they put it LOL.

But I do understand WHY they would feel bad, or why they weren’t fulfilled sexually. Because yes, I didn’t care for receiving anything sexual, but I LOVED giving. Genuinely, it was almost addictive. Making the love of your life feel so good was insane. Being able to watch their mind go blank from the pleasure was so much fun. Also it’s really interesting because they had different genitals from me and it was unironically fascinating just looking around and seeing what everything does. One time I was eating them out but stopped because I was curious about the hood of the clitoris, and they got really annoyed at me lol. 10/10, would recommend if you have a partner. I never tried penetration though, so I can’t comment on “actual” sex.

Anyway yeah, if I have a partner in future the ideal would be someone who doesn’t want or doesn’t care to give me any pleasure sexually.

Nowadays I believe I’m Demiromantic Asexual. I very clearly am capable of being romantically attracted to someone, but after being single for a year and even having a squish, I’m confident that I need an intense platonic bond before falling in love. In terms of sexuality, I was in a very sexual relationship with someone who I think is objectively attractive and still thought “eh” when it came to sex so I’m pretty sure I’m asexual, just sex positive/neutral (can’t remember the difference). Maybe one day I’ll go “awooga” and actually be sexually attracted to someone but who knows. For now the label works for me.

Twst Brag here

I FINALLY got not only my SECOND ever SSS Score ever but my THIRD too alongside my first EVER Double SSS Score!!!!!!! I’m actually SO ecstatic!!!!!

Water Basic Test Team Stats:

B-Day Epel: 10/10 Magic; 10/10/10 Buddies,

Dorm Vil: 10/10 Magic; 10/10/10 Buddies

Dorm Leona: 10/10 Magic; 1/10/10 Buddies

Dorm Jack: 10/10 Magic; 10/10/7 Buddies

Dorm Ruggie: 10/10 Magic; 10/10/3 Buddies

I think every resource spent into Buddy and Magic Levels was all PERFECTLY allocated here and after a lucky run of RNG, I FINALLY secured myself the second SSS Score I had ever gotten! I only got Dorm Leona VERY recently, on my Anni Rolls and I count myself SO blessed to have finally gotten him to complete the Water Test Trifecta of him, Dorm Vil and B-Day Epel. I remember how, almost deliberately, RNG NEVER aligned Epel and Leona’s M1 for the earlier turns and by time Turn 4 came, it was already too late to utilise those two together, if I HADN’T already used their Magic 1’s already, on different turns altogether. But compared to Fire Defense below, I got my SSS Score much sooner and easier.

Fire Defense Test Team Stats:

Dorm Azul: 9/5 Magic; 10/10/8 Buddies

B-Day Vil: 10/10 Magic; 10/10/6 Buddies

Dorm Epel: 10/10 Magic; 10/10/10 Buddies

Union Jack: 10/10 Magic; 8/10/1 Buddies

First: yes, yes, I know, max out Dorm Azul, I get the gist don’t worry 🫠

Now this one was FAR more tricky and a lot of moments stuck with me, in all of the runs I had experienced; not landing the debuffs evenly, tanking a strong attack with the wrong character at the wrong time and sometimes not even being able to finish the opponents on Turn 5, Move 1. Ironically enough though, I rarely, if EVER in fact got cursed, thus ruining the run entirely. My miraculous scoring of an SSS Score, funnily enough, happened when I actually was giving up and decided to stop using Single Points to remake the Test, instead spending all I had left in one go, which gave me the PERFECT RNG allowing for the PERFECT run.

Some thoughts I had only recently begun having; it only occurred to me after the fact that Ruggie’s HP Bonus for Azul might make runs for such a Test vastly easier and more manageable, but I digress—the real stars here I think were unironically B-Day Vil and Union Jack; Jack, whom I had SKIPPED at first, in spite of being my fav, due to the fact that, at the time, I was experiencing an overflow (heh) of Water centric SSRs, only later realising how, with his elements, debuffs and buddies, he would PERFECTLY slot into this team. My lack of having him, was thankfully corrected as of his last B-Day Run :)) As for B-Day Vil—although an Attack SSR, he slots VERY well into this comp, by virtue of picking up the slack in terms of damage, AS WELL as how his unique damage reduction buff, combined with damage debuffs against enemies allows him to make even the STRONGEST of double strikes only deal about 4k, at most, even neutrally! He puts in QUITE the work and I’m VERY happy with having raised him.

Overall, I’m honestly just so happy I can finally have a claim, for not only getting my second and third SSS Score but ALSO getting a Double SSS Score 😭😭😭 That screenshot will stay in my Gallery FOREVER. Anyway, thank you for reading!!! ——— Congratulations on your SSS scores! Exams are full of RNG and sometimes you just need the perfect exam set up to allow you to break the SSS wall.

~ 👑

at first i wasnt going to watch the new trigun because i just didnt feel the need or the want to watch it. personally i dont like how vash looks like a kid (at least to me.) im not a fan of the animation style. im also really disappointed that milly isnt in the show.

after i got done rewatching the OG anime and the movie after... idk how many years its been since i last watch it tbh. i just started googling random things i had questions about in the trigun universe that really doesnt matter. one of the search results was a reddit link to r/trigun and the title of the post is "TRIGUN STAMPEDE is TERRIBLE"

the reddit user goes on to explain why they think the show is terrible but... everything they listed as reasons for the show being terrible were things that actually happened in the OG anime. and i cant talk about this post without mentioning that this person was unironically calling OG vash 'alpha' and the new vash 'beta' and 'imposter'. their reasons were he's a cry baby, there's no way he had no bullets in his gun, he's a try hard, he's too much a spazz, ect. they said all of this AFTER stating they went back and rewatched the first episode of the original anime but its like, did they REALLY watch the first epsiode? because vash is all of those things right from the start. he screams, he freaks out, he cries, he has no bullets in his gun, he's just a complete and total dork.

honestly i could just feel the anger from this person seeping through the post as they stated that no one should watch the show and if you want to get into trigun, the reboot is not the place to start. they talk about the show as if the original was this perfect gem and to be honest, while yeah, the original show kicked ass and we all loved vash for who he is, the show wasnt perfect at all. there are even things said in the original that just wouldnt fly today, things that vash himself has said and done that would get him possibly cancelled.

after reading that post i decided that maybe i will give the reboot a watch, try it for myself. i had only seen gifs of it so far at the time of reading the post and to me the show honestly didnt seem that bad. i may not like the animation style but its perfect for such an animated person like vash. milly may not be in the show but i shouldnt let that spoil the experience. vash may look more like a child compared to how he looked in the original anime but that doesnt mean the design is bad.

so i gave the reboot a watch (8 episodes are out at the time of writing this, only 6 of them dubbed so i havent seen 7 or 8. i dont have hulu or anything so im watching on an anime website.) and im not really good at giving in depth reviews but for what the show is, i really like it. it's a different spin on things and if thats what people are upset about then thats on them. i still prefer the original anime and the things i dont like the reboot are still things i dont like but the show is still great on its own. if you're against the reboot but still want give it a try, watch it with an open mind. it's still the same vash that we know and love, he just looks different.

OC-tober Day 19: Inspiration

I’m queueing this post because I know I’ll be away from the 17th to the 19th – and because the theme is “inspiration”, I get to talk about my boy Hideki yet again.

(…Though it’s very likely that I won’t have talked about Hideki as part of this challenge yet, but I don’t know that for a fact since I’m writing this way ahead of time. What I mean is: I love talking about this. Strap in.)

When I first created my sweet boy Hideki, his name was Daniel and he was white. Horrible history, I know. I completely revamped this character around 2018-2019 for a Danganronpa RP (horrible history, I know) which gave me the perfect opportunity to keep the same basic layout but make it better, and accentuate some aspects, such as his relationship with being a top-student, a lot more.

One thing that hadn’t changed was my warm memory of the song that inspired this character in the first place. And that song was Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace.

I created Daniel at some point when I was in high school. By that point, I already knew that song by heart. I’d discovered it via an edgy bloody anime girls montage on YouTube when I was like 10, and after years of listening to it via the AMV, I’d bought the album it was on, One-X, when I was in middle school. And for some reason, this was my go-to CD to put on when I was home alone and washing the dishes.

So it was one random day, as I was washing the dishes and listening to this song I loved, that inspiration struck and I came up with him.

I’m not going to lie, I still love this album unironically. Three Days Grace was never the same after their lead singer left – the new singer and direction never matched the raw and sincere frustration expressed in their earlier works. This album, generally, and this song were relatable as hell. When I listened to the song for the first hundred times, without really knowing what it meant and with English as my second language, I related this song to my personal experience of living in an abusive home (a theme explored in other songs on the album) and going to a school where I didn’t belong for many reasons. The “animal I had become” was, to me, the version of me that was too mentally exhausted to interact fully with the world, to be the real me I identified with. Years later, I could even add that the “monster” was my then-undiagnosed anxiety, which scared me and made me react in ways I didn’t understand. However, this song is ultimately about addiction. This is something I think I started to understand as my grasp of the English language gradually got better, and that I wound up confirming with a Google search.

It's with that personal relationship to the song and with that knowledge in mind that I came up with a character who had become someone they hated. A character who was a horrible version of themselves, but would internally beg for help, to be freed from this horror. I came up with a character who was initially a complete softie (in my more recent writings, I would make it obvious that he was too soft for his own good) and through abuse, confusion and exhaustion exploded one day and let himself become the worst possible version of himself. This “explosion” isn’t without the intervention of addiction, he lashes out on the person he wanted to build a life with, who then leaves him, and everything is interlinked.

(Of course, because I love a little bit of drama, there’s a misunderstanding with what really caused his boyfriend to “leave”. But that’s unrelated to any song. What matters to what is at the heart of what this song means to me, is what Hideki thinks happened.)

This was the gist of Hideki’s characterisation for a long time. Now, here’s the thing about that Danganronpa RP. Although Hideki was one of my most popular characters ever, and I went through a lot of effort to explore his characterisation as fully as I could within the limitations of that story, the person organising that RP, aka the GM, abused the shit out of me. Oopsie.

This post isn’t about me so I won’t go through the details, but taking advantage of the horrible mental state that I was in back then from going through undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder following my aforementioned situation of abuse, this person, among a couple others, made me go through hell and worsened my mental state to the point that I… went in shock one day from realising I had hit rock bottom a long time ago – that I had become the monster I’d feared all my life. This was accompanied by my own break-up, which was in fact what caused me to suddenly wake up.

And here was the inspiration for the second part of Hideki’s writing.

Funnily, my ex-partner had participated in that RP alongside me and had hated Hideki’s boyfriend for having left him, even if Hideki had in fact wronged him, because they knew that character knew what he was going through, and how dangerous it was to abandon him then. I shit you not my partner wound up doing the exact same thing to me. And it’s fine! I’d always defended the nuance in what Jun – the boyfriend character – was perceived to have done.

Here’s the thing, though: there’s a good ending to that story. Having suddenly opened my eyes to what was happening to me, I first went through so much shock that my mental health reached a brand new low and my life was in direct danger. And yet, this was a period in my life that was filled with hope. I was going through something extremely difficult, and that forced me to face the me that wanted to fight to the end. I’ll skip over the details – but after surviving this, having gotten some of the help I needed, having been faced with that strong ability to survive I had, I was able to take control of myself again. And I was free to be the real me again.

And that’s when it struck me that I’d never really conceptualised a good ending for Hideki.

My writing of Hideki kinda stopped in the middle of the conflict. As far as shoving him in different RPs where he would live through specific adventures went, that was perfect. But suddenly, I had a brand new experience, and something inside of me must have known just what made sense for such a relatable character as Hideki.

I know this is already very long, but here’s another song; one day, not too long after my healing had started, I was listening to some rock classics. One of those was Highway to Hell by AC/DC.

And very fittingly for Hideki, randomly, for no particular reason, I started to think about a character who was going to heal.

I thought about a Hideki who eventually reached the right time. Who one day felt like listening to music to help vent his frustrations, and by chance discovered rock, hard rock and metal. Who listened to Highway to Hell, felt something, and suddenly had something he wanted to do. Ideas like “attending a concert”, hope like “I will enjoy it” and “I will be able to blend in”, and that was the start of a messy journey, but a journey of healing nonetheless.

This is the start of an iteration of Hideki which I often joke about, dubbing him “metal Hideki”. He dyes his overgrown bright orange hair an ashy brown, he puts on an edgy t-shirt, and there’s something so fun about how silly it is and yet how much it means to his finally putting himself out there.

This inspired me to finish writing his and Jun’s stories, and I’m very satisfied with how I was able to draw inspiration from different stages in my life to write a compelling character, and by how a song was somehow the starting point both times.

There’s a lot more I could say about Hideki; his backstory and his future, which I never used in RP, in part because I have a full story to tell now! (And also because I’m never doing that shit again. Holy shit.) I’ll leave it at this recent cutesy doodle of him, which is directly taken from a song I felt like he would relate to.

Okay I’ve seen some stuff recently on fancasting Apollo as yung gravy, and I’m here to tell you why that’s wrong. And specifically here cos I have no social media other than this so… yeah. Real quick disclaimer, idk like anything about Yung Gravy other than one video my sister showed me (and I couldn’t even finish it cos it was a ripoff rickroll or something and I both ironically and unironically love that song so it felt like a huge insult), so it’s entirely possible that all these points are complete garbage and I wasted time typing them out for no reason, but anyway.

Without further ado, I present…

WHY APOLLO SHOULDNT BE PLAYED BY YUNG GRAVY (or rly any celebrity tbh):

The name yung gravy feels racist and the only race apollo would discriminate against is the human race as a whole

He usually takes form of a young (16/17) attractive guy with tanned skin and sun-washed hair. Yung gravy applies to none of those descriptors

He’s probably a terrible actor

He’s probably a terrible person who won’t treat any of the other actors or directors or camera people well

Apollo is actually genuinely supposed to be amazing at music. His voice is beautiful. He mastered the lyre as soon as it was given to him. He can probably play violin AND bagpipes. Anything to do with music, apollo knows what it is. I’ve only heard one song of Yung Gravy, so idk if he applies to this one or not, but what I heard wasn’t very promising.

The song I heard was some ripoff of never gonna give you up?? Apollo wouldn’t do that, he would genuinely like and appreciate Rick Astley’s work and you can’t convince me otherwise. He probably rickrolls all the gods all the time. He wouldn’t change the lyrics to make it seem like he’d come up with it, he’d just say like “I whispered this song into Rick Astley’s ears so it’s technically my song but he wouldn’t give me credits” or something

Apollo is the god of: music, poetry, prophecy, archery, plague, healing, the sun, and probably other stuff I can’t think of. Do you reckon yung gravy would genuinely be the god - the literal face - of most of those things? Cos I don’t.

How is that the man that gave us will solace? That’s my entire point.

Apollo wouldn’t walk around as a celebrity. I know it makes sense that he would, but think about it. He’d want full credit for his looks. According to Thalia (who canonically doesn’t feel attraction/feels very little attraction to anyone), he’s hot. So if she says it, I flipping believe her man. He wouldn’t just walk around as some well-known guy. Sure, he’d take inspiration from a lot of attractive people, but he wouldn’t tell anyone that that, he wouldn’t blatantly walk around as them, he’s too self-cantered for that. He doesn’t think anyone is anywhere near as good / attractive / ANYTHING as him.

Something is telling me Yung Gravy wouldn’t have the ability to go through character development, especially not as dramatically as Apollo did while he was Lester

And finally: I don’t want Yung Gravy to be my dad. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

this is a (friendly) debate now I’ve decided. If you somehow still think Yung Gravy should be apollo in the pjo show, I will provide a rebuttal against your reasons.

ridi dearest as my personal beatles journalist, what're some of your favourite lyrics of theirs? like not necessarily favourite songs as a whole but lyrics that make you buzz?

hii omg fun!! let me think hmm i feel like there will be quite a few..i would paste the entirety of in my life here but to pick a particular bit i'll go for the very end, though i know ill never lose affection, for people and things that went before, i know ill often stop and think about them, in my life, i love you more since its in my bio : ^ ). in taxman its barely a lyric but something about the ah ah mr wilson / ah ah mr heath is always really satisfying to me i forget how much i like that song..she said she said all the lyrics in that are great but particularly the way she said 'you don't understand what i said' / i said 'no no no, you're wrong' is sung itches smthn for me..other ones that stand out purely for being fun are back in the ussr show me round your snow-peaked mountains way down south, take me to your daddy's farm / let me hear your balalaikas ringing out, come and keep your comrade warm and i'm so tired and curse sir walter raleigh / he was such a stupid git...more sincere ones i love are blackbird you were only waiting for this moment to arise, all the john + paul (i think its them?) sections in she's leaving home, we gave her most of our lives, sacrificed most of our lives, we gave her everything money could buy etc...also a day in the life which is one of my favourites...another one where i could probably put all of it in because i unironically think its one of their best songs if not of the greatest songs of the sixties if not of all time and im not kidding..he blew his mind out in a car / he didn't notice that the lights had changed and the whole four thousand holes in blackburn lancashire bit (which on a completely irrelevant note would make an excellent title for anything). it's all too much is one of the beatles most underrated songs ever maybe but i love that one and the with your long blond hair and your eyes of blue bit, although admittedly thats taken from the song sorrow which is by the mccoys originally i think? although david bowie does an excellent cover and im getting off topic. those are the ones that come to mind most immediately!! feel like some of my favourite beatles songs here are underrepresented because while i love them there arent specific lyrics that stick out but alas that is the challenge of the question. and it was super fun thank you anon 4 asking it !! lmk what yours are !!

i am the one with no empathy yet i can be compared to an actual alien learning human norms on earth unironically by family and shouldnt be offended, i am still the person with no empathy when people brush off my routines and my extreme distress over things that are mundane to others but critical to me as just overreacting, im the one whos too used to routine to look for solutions while people refuse to talk slightly more gently than usual with me when they know i cant tell audible tone

“everyones a little on the spectrum” or “well everyones got something” after acting like were so different and alien and the things we do are so weird and unthinkable, our routines and habits are just so unique and unexplainable but now we might not be that different after all? thats what i was saying but now its like a cute quirky conversation starter at my grandmas dinner table, is it only when neurotypical people say it that it actually holds value or gets considered lmao

Do you want to go through what i go through? is this neurotypical empathy in the flesh? im so flattered you finally understand me. Haha glad we both get either infantilized to hell and back or are expected to just suck it up and then have people wonder why we view the world in such great contrast, you can understand when people completely disregard our reactions to interruptions in routine or changes we didnt expect, big or small, or actually scold us for our reaction making us the ones without empathy or emotional stability because we didnt consider the persons thoughts behind why they gave us such a nice surprise, also im sure you understand feeling out of the loop or left out because of how limited your interests are or feeling like you are too selfish for indulging in your interests or talking about them excessively and having people act like youre crazy, i can go on

just its a bit odd to me how people act, most in my family are very accomodating, others not so much, and even people who are considerate will say some very odd things but who am i to judge, like saying “everyones a bit on the spectrum” or “everyones got their own disability.” this is just what i think of when they say that, its always been so damn annoying heres why. do not say this shit, its so weird, also some of these people in my family specifically can you not act like youre the master understander of autistic people and you “might have it yourself, who knows” and then literally act like my cousin is this like annoying freak with no compassion or kindness, people are a bit nicer to me, i guess autistic boys are more acceptable than autistic girls, like anyone even sees me that way lmao My bad.

Hmm? Oh yeah, this one blogger gave a big response to both me and some other user who was saying stuff in the notes of her post. Seeing as she was decent and sensible enough to recognize that if we want to live and let live with our differing opinions, she probably should've at least done so behind a different tag and thus away from fans of the thing she was railing against, I in turn will put my rebuttal in this separate post on this blog and I will try to tag it appropriately.

That said, WOW. There is quite a lot of whinging to unpack here.

But, thanks for not bothering to actually listen to my argument, so let me go through your own:

"Not bothering?" It was not due to a lack of trying on my part that I failed to actually listen to this person's argument, I was legitimately confused and trying to make sense of what she was even saying.

No. I’m not saying Disney adults shouldn’t enjoy crap that was clearly made for them. Believe me, I knew some of that was already the case with Wish and I was excited for it being made for us…and I was disappointed by it. I wanted to like Mirrorverse but it just kept feeling wrong to me and the og post is the wording of what and how it was wrong to me.

Pulling out the term "Disney adults", even if applying it to herself as well, is an automatic alarm for me. It's a term that's very cynical and partonizing in origin, conceptualizing the idea that all things "Disney" are things that a person is expected to outgrow once they've reached adulthood, as though Disney produces things only for children. And sure, they make things that are purely for little kids or at most geared more towards them than to an older crowd. But primarily, on the whole, Disney content and the quality they most strive for are what we call "family friendly" rather than "kids stuff", and to assume that such content is kiddy fare that's meant to be outgrown by adults is completely against the spirit and the words of Walt Disney himself.

"I do not make films primarily for children. I make them for the child in all of us, whether we be six or sixty." - Walt Disney

"We believed in our idea - a family park where parents and children could have fun - together." - Walt Disney

"Too many people grow up. That's the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up. They forget. They don't remember what it's like to be 12 years old. They patronize, they treat children as inferiors. Well, I won't do that." - Walt Disney

Yeah, you should get the picture by now.

I’m saying I find your uncritical devotion to the company, not the writer behind the projects, the company, is sad. It’s self-destructive.

Oh sure, I am uncriticially devoted to this mega corporation. So uncritical in my devotion am I that I've tagged posts or reblogs that address erorrs, poor quality content, and even harmful practices of the company as "Anti Disney" and have even likened the corporate side of Disney to their newest movie's villain many times at this point.

I really hate this kind of attitude towards fandom+online criticism as a whole. This 100% unironic “if you’re negative = HATE” attitude...that I can at least get because even the most pissy of us don’t wanna be surrounded by rage all the time. But, your complete lack or willing to consume any media critically? That’s annoying.

Reminder of how OP began their "critical" post: "I hate Disney's Mirrorverse so much." Please forgive me for where, how, and why I might've possibly gotten that "negativity = HATE" idea from here.

That literally was NOT what I was saying at all hon. Official merch is fine and a lot is great. Like, a lot. I don’t consider official merch itself a threat to fanstuff; what I consider a threat is the higher up of Disney wanting to snuff out fantasy-fan made merch.

Where was it confirmed that the higher up of Disney were specifically aiming to snuff out fan-made content with the very creation and release of Mirrorverse? I must've missed that press conference!

ALL I see with that game is creativity of individual people wasted on a corporate IPlords who wants to crush smaller artists inspired by them, and even their own workers. Disney does not care about you. Disney doesn’t even care for it’s own people. Disney wants to own fanworks so that they can profit off you even more than they already do. And, to me, that’s just kind of horrifying.

In other words, King Magnifico. Yeah, I already got that.

Are you saying you don’t have an imagination? Because A: no. You do have one. Obviously. Liking what some people may think is “cringe” =/= no imagination and I SINCERELY hope you didn’t take that away from my post.

Yes, obviously I have an imagination. I am unsure what it was that made this person think I was suggesting I didn't.

And then she starts getting more hyperbolic and a bit conspiratorial.

We are in a late stage capitalism apocalypse. My argument isn’t that Disney DARE'ENT be what it is but that you should use your brains when it’s pandering to you and not just like it because 'poepl worked on it whichm means it’s good.

"Poepl"? "which?" Slurred words sure do look weird in text form.

You are not mandated to like something and your attitude, to me, frankly feels like that’s why you do like Mirrorverse. Disney is telling you to like it and you’re blinded by this delusion that the company itself is on your side simply because it has Disney fans as it’s own writers and artists working on it. I want to be proven wrong on that and believe you’re like my friends who also like mirrorverse and the modern crossover disney stuff - people who like the ideas within because yeah, that can be fun, and whom I just disagree with, but given your attitude. I don’t see it.

.....Huh??? For as inappropriately big and powerful a company as Disney is today, I do not think they have the authority to literally mandate that people must like their products and that they then must consume them because they like them. Disney has put plenty of stuff out on the free market that they no doubt wanted people to like (because otherwise why even make anything at all? People liking thing made by company = people spending money on that thing and company profiting), but I've not cared for or not even touched, no matter how many sincere, well-meaning people might've worked hard on making the stuff. Mirrorverse caught my attention way back when it was first announced and still undergoing development, and when I ended up liking it, it wasn't because "Disney was telling me to like it" or that I was blinded by any delusion of the company being good or "on my side" - I like it because I JUST DO. It appeals to me and my tastes, sensibilities, and ideas of what's good, clean, creative fun, not to mention being another Disney epic crossover property to fill the void left behind by the now garbage tier Kingdom Hearts series. And even then I'm far from uncritical in my liking for it: it existing as just a mobile app game puts some limitations on it, and the combat part of the game looks like ass and doesn't play quite as well as it could've, especially compared to the polish of other app games like Disney Heroes: Battle Mode and Disney; Sorcerer's Arena. (Now, my attitude may well have gone too far beyond disagreeable and came off as too hostile, confrontational, and uncivil in my dissent against your take, so for that I apologize. I'm sorry, that really was my bad. But given all this rambling, your attitude is now worrying me.)

Fan merch is not perfect or even all that good, but it comes from a point of passion. My point was never that fan made = good. My point was I think Disney the company wants control of even that and, when they are hiring the artists who have genuine ideas about crossovers, are exploiting them. It’s *cute* of you to call me entitled when you sound like one of the most entitled people ever through your message.

I fail to see how I come off as "entitled", as though I was saying that Disney the company has every right to control imaginative fan ideas and to hire and exploit artists with similar ideas just for profit. I was not; I was saying that I'm not in agreement with this paranoid belief that this is what prompted the existence of Mirrorverse to start with. Most of the driving ideas behind why the game came to be seems to have come from the creatives who work for both Disney and Kabam, with Disney merely signing off on it becoming an officially lisenced thing because the company is so ceaselessly hungering for profits that they can never have enough app games or console games that bring their beloved IPs together in a single fantastical new canon.

You are assigning shit to me that I did not say/mean.

For that, I apologize. Please stop doing the exact same thing to me. Two wrongs do not make a right.

I’m upset on the part of the writers and artists at Disney (btw can you please maybe list some of them out? The mirrorverse artists could probably really use the revenue you’re so quick to only attribute to Disney as if Disney itself is the writer of these works.) 

But you can find them all right here.

I believe Wish was made/written with love. Every Disney project is made with love and creativity and I think it’s horrible to imply that Wish was AI-generated because it’s writing came up as lackluster, if that’s what you’re trying imply of me.

Dunno why Wish is suddenly getting brought into this. Was it my current icon being King Magnifico that put it into focus?

My issue with Wish, with Mirrorverse, and with a lot of modern Disney projects is at this point the same I am having with Illumination entertainment; and that’s not ever that “capitalist = bad”/“idea I don’t like = bad writer”. For as annoyed I still am at Princess and the Frog, you really go that feeling the the writers were trying and the project as a whole wasn’t geared by executives telling the directors “no. You have to do x, x, x, and x because then it won’t sell.” Mirrorverse had a soul. Wish had soul. Bob Chapek stole both these properties’ souls and you’re using hardworking artists’ work as an excuse to continue promoting the craphole who’s overworking them.

Bob Chapek is long gone from Disney at this point: Bog Iger is still dealing with the aftereffects of the damage Chapek did while making his own mistakes and dealing out his own share of damage to the overworked artists, writers, directors, imagineers, and all creative staff members who give their hearts and souls to Disney productions. I'm not using the artists' work as an excuse to promote or grant any lenience to corporate Disney. It's actually the very opposite: I don't want them and all the effort they put into realizing these properties to go overlooked and unappreciated due to some instinctful (and oftentimes reasonably justified) dislike and dissatisfaction directed at the company whose brand name the properties get released under. That's something akin to "collective punishment", and it reaches toxic levels when it is also applied towards the punishment and shaming of regular people; of fans who engage with the products and express any sort of enjoyment and appreciation for them. Like them doing so is an objectively morally wrong thing to do and is playing into the big bad company's hands.

My issue is that the fans (artists, creators and writers of these works) care. Disney does not. Disney cares about exploiting you even in the smallest ways and even on small matters like bad bootleg merch that’s in no way a threat to them. Because it isn’t.

This is an issue I have with Disney as well. I've said so ad nauseum.

My issue with the two of you is that you hate criticism and see my post as some kind of threat to your special interest. No. It’s not. I never even tagged mirrorverse. This is a rant meant for me and for other likeminded people like me. Speaking as a woman who’s defended and still will defend Frozen all these years - YOU are coming off as the most entitled, zealous people. You are creative. And you love Disney and obviously like Mirrorverse and Wish where I don’t; unlike the artists behind these products, you don’t have room to complain about being disgarded or treated like AI cuz I don’t like your writing or Disney’s handling of your writing- you’re just a butthurt fan.

More hyperbole. There was no "threat" detected in her post. There was only an opinion I read as a bad faith poor take and I responded to it with a rebuttal like this social media platform allows us all to do. By getting so up in arms and defensive about the rebuttal that rather than try to clear the air with a post that only clarifies what she was meaning to convey in the OP and that if I still don't find it agreeable we can hopefully agree to disagree, she goes on a whole whopping tangent? This strikes me as "butthurt fan" behavior. I'm sorry, it does.

Presuming the both of you ever read any of this, I don’t like the insinuation that my own bitching and moaning it hurting the hardworking writers and artists personally just because the fans of these overall products love them and I don’t. I really don’t like my personal criticisms being hurled at or treated like an attack on the people who are real artists. I know that’s not what I’m doing. You could have just blocked my blog or chosen to just not read the post the moment this post opened with “I hate mirrorverse”. You didn’t. You engaged and now I’m engaging to tell you that I disagree.

Yes, let us dispell that insinuation. You are hurting no one by bitching and moaning in a post put out on a public social media venue on the internet, not the writers and artists, not the company. I'd not meant to insinuate as much, and anyone who would make that insinuation would be a fool to do so. Thank you for acknowleding that you led with "I hate Mirrorverse", which made the negativitiy and criticism easier to mistake for hatefulness. I make it a rule to typically not block blogs as my first response to seeing something I disagree with, which is sadly more than I can say of other users who've disagreed with me in the past. I decided to engage you, then you engaged back, and now this is me engaging back in my own space to save your's the trouble of being too cluttered up with this dispute. If you happen to come across this and read it through, I hope you can try to take time for contemplation and understanding of where I'm coming from here, and I'd so the same in turn for you should you give a civil response. But given how I'm tagging this, chances lean unlikely.

Oh my god I accidentally submitted the ask before I can finish I’m sorry 😭

I was trying to say: how do you feel about the unironic “kairi and keiichiro are like brothers” take. Or “they are like son and father” take which is probably the worst one and I only see it on reddit. Like you can read them in many ways but there are… blatantly wrong ways

i'm putting this in , going to wear that " de-facto best lupat page " with pride .

anyways !! i've been waiting for forever to get this down on my page . it's something i've put a lot of thought into .

basically , sure yes there are a lot of interpretations on what exactly is the nature of kairi and keiichirou's relationship . but i'm someone who enjoys reading into subtext and really dissecting the why of everything . such as , if they were supposed to be brothers , why would the themes of episode 30 be that of " someone you admired " in a romantic nature .

a lot of people bring episode 30 up a lot to also defend the whole , kairi sees keiichirou as shouri thing , especially with that one scene in the end , but i think that scene is supposed to show that they're not similar at all . sure , they both play a part of " someone who is good " in kairi's life . but if they really were trying to make a callback to the brother , wouldn't the writers make keiichirou say a similar line to shouri instead of what he did .

it's not hard to realize that keiichirou's " you lent me a hand back then , after all . " and shouri's " you waited for me even when you didn't want to . " have completely different meanings when it comes to kairi , right ? shouri's words imply that kairi's doing good by letting someone else do the good . meanwhile keiichirou says it like kairi had a hand in helping too .

that's why , i don't think the scenes of episode 30 were comparing keiichirou and shouri as a " big brother " figure , but more of a " person who is good " figure is kairi's life .

not to mention for episode 30 ... sure the gangler's lupin collection had nothing to do with kairi and keiichirou at first , but even so , in the past we've seen the song and collection chosen to represent an episode fit with the episode's theme before . so , why would they make the episode's collection be la vie en rose ?

la vie en rose is a song by edith piaf . the title translates to " life in pink " or " life through rose-coloured glasses " . it's a love song , you can definitely find the english translations online . now don't tell me , this isn't what a small part of kairi is feeling ... if he could allow keiichirou in , if he could show his true feelings , maybe he could wear those rose-coloured glasses .

again , it goes back to the whole kairi sees himself as an inherently bad person thing , with shouri and after that keiichirou being the " good " , the opposite , the person kairi looks up to and longs for but they may never cross . because ... kairi is a bad person , isn't he ? how could he ever be like them ... he doesn't even deserve to be with them ...

another thing i'd like to point out from episode 30 before i move on . why would they put in the throwaway line about arsene giving splash to the girl he fell in love with ? that line was insignificant , and it wasn't even a joke . UNLESS you read it as a parallel to kairi and keiichirou's relationship . after all , it was keiichirou who gave kairi splash , wasn't it ?

there is a possibility that they were meant to be sibling-like since the start . but it's sentai , guaranteed some of these episodes were only written weekly , things change all the time and i think people should take that into consideration as well .

now here's the fun part , talking about it from the actors' perspective ... !!

i'll start off with giving them what they want i guess . in an photobook interview , when w red was asked , what do they mean to each other , kousei yuuki answered that keiichirou is like a brother to kairi .... he then proceeded to say that it's different from how shouri is kairi's brother , and different to how keiichirou cares for both tsukasa and sakuya . he ends with saying that they have a " special relationship " , that kairi is a " special person " to keiichirou .

so well ... tell me i'm not reading too far into this , but isn't this kind of giving the feeling of ... how do you describe the close relationship between two men , they can't be in love right .... they just can't right ... it really feels like the whole historians would call them close friends thing .

moving on to THE MAN OF THE HOUR !!! THE ONE CARRYING US ALL !! IT IS ASAHI ITOU COMING IN TO CHANGE QUEER TOKU HISTORY !!!! LEADING UP TO kairi is lgbt - he kissed !!!!!!

okay , so . first of all , i'd like to preface this by saying that while asahi has not been vocally supportive of the queer community , he has been in multiple queer or queer coded roles and talked about how his character's experiences should be listened to too .

and kairi is certainly no exception ... asahi itou has said before in a magazine interview , he is very considerate when playing kairi . he understands kairi as a character , that he has " two faces " . asahi plays him as such . he says how first he always considers kairi's feelings , before acting as the figurative and literal mask he has on . so clearly , asahi cares about this role very much .

and i've spoken about it before , the many times asahi has said how much kairi loves keiichirou . sure the word he used was the less extreme " suki " or like , but even then , why would he say that if kairi could , he'd want to tell keiichirou he loves him . sure , some part of it might be pandering to the fans , and some might try to argue that we shouldn't listen to what the actors say because they're not the writers . but the thing about tokusatsu is , especially for the main cast , the actors also have a role in building up that image of a character . so why shouldn't we listen to asahi ?

anyways i'm sorry for ranting on about w red when you only asked about the whole brothers thing , but it felt appropriate to assess all sides of the relationship too . meanwhile , for the father and son thing .... i think redditors should look into therapy or watch some family movies or something because JUST BECAUSE ONE MAN CARES FOR ANOTHER , IT DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE THEM FAMILIAL !??!?!

that's all , i guess ... if you have any more questions and want some things to be cleared up , feel free to ask !! this goes for anyone on my blog as well , my turbo autism about lupat never stops