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#they finally gets a therapist
iamlittlelostsoul · 1 year
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Are asks open? If so, can you write a fluffy epilogue of twst boys x reader x yan ver of them set in 6 months from now to give the reader some time to adjust
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OMG HELLOO!!
THANK YOUU this is my first time getting requests and I really appreciate it!!
I hope this reaches your expectations although I don't think that I've made it that fluffy but I hope all is good!:D
Just so everyone knows my asks are always open and I'll do my best in answering it all!☺
oh and if you wanna check it out here's my masterlist! ><
Enjoy!
Mending Hearts
Part 1 Part 2
Part 3 of which is which...
Twst boys x reader x yan!twst boys
It's been 6 months...6 months since the incident. And they barely made much progress...
6 months since the love of their life came back but is in a terrible state and despised and feared them so so much.
3 months since they found a spell to see Mc's memories to find the truth and is horribly haunted by it.
They were so lost...
They wanted to help...but how?
How can they help someone that used to love them so much but now despised them so much that they would rather drop dead than have them close...
If only they could find a way to turn back time to avoid such things happening maybe their life would remain as it was? or become official lovers and all...?
...
But this won't stop them from trying...
It is a challenge but if it is to get them to trust and befriend them once again or at least...have them not look at them with eyes filled with fear, uncertainty, and so much hate.
it has only been 6 months so it's ok! Even if it would take them years and so to help them. It's ok even if...it means having to return them back to their own world...
So it is not the time for them to dilly dally and lose hope. It's time to pay them back for everything they've given to every single one of them.
In those 6 months, they started with itty-bitty steps...by allowing them to adjust at their own pace and also 'finally' getting a therapist and a counselor for the school.
They've also sought advices and to do's and not to do from people with a wide knowledge of such cases.
They did their best to not to trigger traumatic flashbacks by avoiding sending too many presents, less contact, and trying to be as calm and patient as they could whenever they are nearby to not overwhelm and pressure them.
Instead of forcefully conversing with them in person instead they try by giving encouraging notes/messages or simply encouraging them to let out everything they feel and etc. Or sending them flowers and little trinkets.
"Hello Mc! This is Riddle...I can't really say to you to stop worrying or everything is alright so...instead, I wish you to get better soon! If you are still not comfortable with our presence it's ok take your time! I know you might be thinking I'm doing this to control you and all but all of us are being sincere in proving we are better than our alters.
you should open the little box by your bed. It's ok the queen of hearts never really gave a rule about doing such things...so I hope it could comfort you in some way. P.s it's a hedgehog btw...just so you know." -Riddle Roseheart
" Ace and Deuce hereee. Get better soon!! We don't really know what to tell you but we hope you start healing well. We really missed you...we made you something...it's the same tart we made on our first birthday party...so we would be really happy if you eat but it's fine if not just...just try to not throw it out the window or... just get well soon." -ADeuce
"Hiii! This is Cheka uncle Leona's nepew!! Remeber me? I heard from uncle Leona that you wernt feeling good :( I'm sorwy jus t so u know uncle and I relly like you mama papa tool! Get well sooon! Uncle tld me I canot relly sea yu know witch made me sad but its okay! I maid you this drawing of you and me plus uncle and mama and papa eating cake in the guarden! I hope this comes tru! Get well soon big sister/brother!!!" -Love Cheka!💗
"Human it is I Sebek! Eat your meals, get some rest, stop hurting yourself and love yourself...You deserve to do so, I'm not asking on behalf of my young master, everyone and for myself but for you. I will not force you to do anything you dislike but at least take great care of one's self. Hate us if you wish just care for you so take this Tamagotchi the diasomania dorm bought for you ." -Sebek
They couldn't blame them to start crying and panicking when they were nearby or when receiving their gifts and letters...so it's ok. But of course, they also seek professional help to also avoid another overblot.
Because of it all slowly they start having improvements like them not having panic attacks when passing by and on some occasions, they would even text back.
It was very little but for them it is everything.
It motivates them to do more but notes not to overdo it, to go forward because little by little they are slowly but surely putting down their walls.
They even had the chance to sometimes be able to chat with them in person but behind doors/walls.
Grim could even visit them occasionally in person!
And some of the trinkets and presents they gave them weren't always thrown or burnt.
it was a great improvement which made them so so glad!
although they still try to commit suicide and inflicts self harm it was less worst than before.
So they continue to do as they did and would only do things when they feel comfortable in doing so.
It has already been 2 years already and...
"Hey Mc, Let's sit here!" Ace shouted as he sat at an empty table.
"Mmh...kay" they answered.
"Myehehehe! Look Mc! I passed the test!" Grim proudly said.
"That's nice!" They said with a soft smile as they petted the cat monster's head.
Although their reply tends to be rather dry and empty at times it is fine. They are happy to study, hangout, and spend time alongside them.
The graduates would also often visit them when they have time they too notices the differences but are satisfied to how it is now.
"Ace! Deuce!"
"Shit...heyya Riddle-senpai! Long time no see!" Ace said as he nervously rubs the back of his head.
"Oh you to are wanna be the end of me!!! Just because I'm not always in school means the two of you could just go and break the queen's rules!!!! Hah I shouldn't have entrusted the dorm to the both of you..." Riddle said as he massages the bridge of his nose.
"Ahahhaah....sorry dorm leader." Deuce said sincerely apologetic for the trouble he's been causing.
"JNJAKWJDJDJJDJDJSJDNJDDHSJS-"
"Hello-I Riddle calm down...I've brought some newly baked tarts everyone." Trey said upon arrival.
"Epel Flemier!"
"Oh no....Good afternoon Vil-senpai!" Epel said with a 'sweet' smile. "why is he here. He already graduated! JAJSJSJDJ I thought I finally escaped him." He whispered.
"I've heard that! Have you been doing your skin care? Why is your skin so dry and your hair! AJJDDJJDDJC"
"hello Mc and everyone! Seems like everyone's having fun lemme join too!!"
"Kalim-hah there's no stopping him."
"Good day all."
"WAKA-SAMA! THANK YOUAND IT'S AN HONOR FOR SUCH AS YOU TO VISITING US."
Soon all of them are finally present in the cafeteria causing a lot of the 2nd to 1st year's to admire them although with such childish displays from each and everyone of them Mc can't help but chuckle and feel more at ease.
Hearing Mc laugh at their antics made their hearts swell with pride and joy. They've did well. Although they wouldn't be like the person they were before it makes them so happy to see them feel more comfortable than before since the incident.
Although it was quite a shame they couldn't take their friendship to another level yet...it was still fine. They can't really put all their efforts to waste when they've already reached this far! They just need to be more patient and understanding.
Besides if it weren't for their new found 2nd and 1st year's friends they couldn't have done better.
"Heyya Mc, Acey, and Juice-senpai's!” Kroner a nice and goofy 1st year although he is quite dumb but he makes great food and and...talks to squirrels...
"It's Deuce not Juice, Kroner!!!"
"Oh, Sorry Bruce-senpai"
"DEUCE! DE U C E"
"Doesn't he remind me so much of you deuce" ace said teasingly.
"Shut it Ace!"
"Ohhh~! There you are Kroner! Hello senpai's" Yza a very power hungry 2nd year (just like Azul lol) that stick to them like an annoying leech! He has the face of a dinosaur and totally shameless!
"Hey there Yza!” Kroner cheerfully said after all he is his henchman.
"Hey there Kroner!" Yza said with the most fakes and plastic smile.
'Plastic annoying dino' is what most of them thought.
'Today isn't so bad. Everyone is having tons of fun and the air felt light and comfy.' Mc thought as they watched them with a very fond smile.
It has been really hard for them to trust, love, and smile once again. Without their friends, they would have long been 6 feet under. It was a really traumatic experience and they truly wish these kinds of moments stays forever and that they would NEVER meet their alters once again.
Their heart may have shattered and was beyond repair, but their friends still gave their all in sharing theirs slowly while slowly but surely building up their broken heart, although the cracks remain they built a foundation to make be like how it used to be yet warmer and filled.
'I really am lucky to have such people by my side. Soon I will be finally spending these moments with less worry and pain.' They thought as they join in the fun.
Fin<3
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merakiui · 1 year
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Absolutely love the possessive ex Scaramouche ramble in tags, please feed us more of that.
Gladly!! :D
(cw: yandere, extremely toxic ex scara, modern au, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stalking, coercion, obsession, forced marriage, violent/suicidal threats, manipulation, mentions of intoxication/alcohol, implied self-harm)
The two of you were what everyone calls ‘high school sweethearts.’ You met him in the cafeteria when the both of you were first years. Despite the scowl etched on his face, he looked lonely sitting all by himself while everyone was finding tables, old and new friends gathering in groups. He’d ignored you, even scooting further away when you’d attempt to move closer. Even though he seemed so averse to you, you remained, silently eating your lunch. Neither of you said anything, but you did introduce yourself. He scoffed under his breath.
You started to sit next to him for every lunch, and he continued to give you the silent treatment. You never pressed him for conversation, instead choosing to enjoy silence while you ate and admired him from the sidelines. He never looked at you, always facing forwards and toying with his chopsticks, bending them so far until they were ready to snap. Eventually, he seemed to grow accustomed to this routine because many weeks into the semester he turned to address you.
“Why do you always sit by me? Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”
“Maybe. But I don’t think anyone’s as mysterious as you are.”
“‘Mysterious…’ Yeah, whatever.”
That seemed to be the catalyst because, as sardonic as he was, he’d begun talking to you. And it wasn’t long until he started to warm up to you every lunch until the both of you were exchanging lighthearted banter. Your friendship would only grow from this point onwards until, at the end of your first year during a study session to prepare for finals, where you were both pulling an all-nighter at your house, he’d asked you out. And you said yes, and the both of you had gone from best friends to lovers within the span of a year. The both of you were each other’s first partner, so it made doing things as a couple even more exciting because neither of you had any experience with dates or holding hands or kissing.
Kuni wasn’t a bad boyfriend. In fact, he was very loyal and sweet. He’d stand up for you if anyone was being rude to you or scrutinizing your relationship with hateful eyes. The two of you were nearly inseparable. When you weren’t spending time together in school, you were out doing things together. And when you couldn’t meet up in person, you’d text or call, sometimes talking late into the evening about all sorts of things. You were so immersed in him that you failed to notice the red flags slowly raising over time. But looking back there were a few notable ones.
He never invited you to his house. In fact, you’d never even met his parents, whereas he’d been to your home so often that your family practically became his own. He hadn’t mentioned anything about his family, and if you tried to suggest going to his house for dinner so that he could introduce you to them he was quick to change the subject. For a while you’d push this, more curious than concerned, but eventually you’d drop it when it became clear that he wasn’t going to divulge anything on the matter. That had stung, but you snuffed those feelings in favor of focusing on other aspects of your relationship.
The second red flag was just how clingy he became when the both of you were in your third year, having been together for two solid years. You never noticed it before because you loved him, but when friends had pointed out how attached he seemed—and it was to rather unhealthy levels, according to their observations—to the point where you were the only person he’d ever formed a bond with while at school you started to see the cracks in what felt like the perfect relationship. He’d text you every single day, at every single hour, all the time. He’d call you nonstop, even more so when you didn’t immediately pick up.
The third red flag coincided with the second. When you couldn’t make it to your phone, he was quick to blame himself and those around him for being responsible for your deteriorating relationship. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Did those guys bother you again? They probably told you some stupid shit about me, right? Don’t listen to them. Hey, you’re not mad, right? Call me back. I need to talk to you. Just text me when you can, okay? (Name), please don’t leave me. I’ll fix whatever’s wrong. Just promise you’ll stay. Messages of these kinds were what you could expect to receive from him. He’d fluctuate between self-loathing to loathing those around him within seconds, shoving blame onto classmates who’d bully him for being that “weird emo kid with too many piercings” and anyone else who tried to, in his words, “come between you and me.”
By the end of your third year, you started to fall out of love. He was so very dedicated to this relationship, evidenced by how much effort and care he’d put into it, but his clingy behavior was stifling. You’d lost some of your own friends because he chased them away, and it felt like you couldn’t do anything without him breathing down your neck. If you wanted to go anywhere with a friend or two, Kuni had to be there to accompany you. If you looked at another for too long, he’d think you were cheating. If you didn’t text or call him at certain times, if you failed to pick up, or—Archons forbid—you left him on seen, he’d spiral.
Kuni had this habit of sounding dangerously self-destructive when he feared you were being unfaithful or he thought you were going to break up with him, which meant you’d have to sit on the phone for hours convincing him that you loved him, that you’d never leave him, that you’d always be here for him, that you were sorry for not responding, that he needs to calm down and please, please, please don’t do anything rash. Those phone calls were always so stressful. You cried a lot; you’d beg him to put the knife away when he’d threaten to use it on himself, on you, on anyone who might try to take you from him. And, after a few hours of this, he’d be back to his usual self, as if a switch had been flipped. You could hear his adoring smile in his voice when he spoke, when he’d lovingly whisper into the phone, “I’m happy you’re mine. I love you so much.” And you’d shakily parrot the affirmation, too frazzled to say or do anything else.
One of your best friends Rosalyne, who you’d befriended in the midst of all of this, had been so supportive the minute you spilled the truth to her. Kuni hated her the most because she wasn’t afraid of him. Because she’d shut him down when he tried to pull you away from her. Because she wouldn’t approve of any of his toxicity. Rosalyne would take you on shopping sprees, brunch dates, and jogs at the local park. She was plenty of good to outshine Kuni’s bad, and the more time you spent with her the clearer your head would become. The both of you had plenty of sleepovers together, and she let you rant your heart out while she listened. She’d tell you to break up with him, but you’d agonized over how terrifying that would be. You couldn’t bear to tell Kuni the truth—that you wanted to separate because things had turned so rotten—because you were so scared. Scared of him and what he might do.
Scared that if he really did take a blade to himself it would be your fault. He told you that a lot. That it would be your fault if he did anything. That his blood would be on your hands. You believed him every time.
By your final year, you’d already had a plan for university outlined and you’d started applying to a few in advance. You never told Kuni about any of them because you worried he might apply to each one in hopes of going to the same school as you. And when there was the dance for the graduating class and Kuni had asked you to it, you’d told him you were going with Rosalyne and a few other friends as a group. He didn’t like this, as expected, but you’d been so sick of him and his behaviors that you snapped and spilled everything to him. You’ll never forget the look on his face when you told him that you were done with the relationship and that you never wanted to see him again.
He looked as if he could lunge at you and tear you to bloody ribbons at any moment.
You graduated single and so very refreshed, and your summer had been filled with friends. Kuni didn’t message you at all, which was surprising considering you were certain he’d spam you relentlessly after the break-up. But he never did. In fact, you never saw him again. Graduation had come and gone, and now that you could recover from such a terrible relationship he was becoming less of a burden for you. For a while you were anxious. You kept expecting to receive a phone call or to see some news about Kuni, but neither ever came. Rosalyne told you to stop thinking about him. It would only make you even more paranoid and that wouldn’t do your mental health any good. You were so grateful to have her in your life, but most importantly you were glad Kuni failed to scare her away.
Now you’re a second year in college and things have only gotten so much better for you. You and Rosalyne still keep in touch despite going to different schools. She’d gone to a university in Snezhnaya, while you enrolled in one in Sumeru, and you’ve blotted Kuni from your mind. You’ve made a fresh group of friends while attending classes: criminal justice major Shikanoin Heizou, creative writing major Kaedehara Kazuha, musical therapy major Venti, botany major Tighnari, and so many more wonderful people who have all welcomed you into their circles.
So when Venti drags a familiar face to your usual weekend outing, which is really just a retreat to the forest for drinking and smoking, creeping cold settles into your bones. He looks awkward with Venti’s arm slung around him as the more bubbly of the two drags him towards the bonfire, where you sit with the others roasting marshmallows for s’mores, and it’s a look that is so uncharacteristic on him. What’s even weirder is how friendly everyone greets him—as if they all know him—and you’re completely lost when they turn to you and ask if you’ve met Kunikuzushi.
“No,” you lie through your teeth, forcing a pleasant smile and extending your hand for a stiff handshake, which Venti snickers at. “No, I’ve never met him before.”
Apparently, he’s in one of Venti’s classes—it’s a course he’s taking solely because he needs the credits. Tighnari knows him because they usually work the same shifts at the campus café. Kazuha knows him from his linguistics and philosophy classes. Heizou’s ate with him in the dining hall plenty of times now and they’re also taking the same psychology class. It feels so genuine and yet so fake at the same time. Too perfectly manufactured to be a mere coincidence. But you do your best to push past these suspicions, and when he sits across from you, smiling at you and saying how nice it is to meet you, the warping flames paint his face in devilish shadows. That’s what you think he is when he acts like a completely different person from how he was when you dated: a devil who’s good at being kind and outgoing, noisy and abrupt, and always so foul-mouthed, but in a way that makes him charming. Your friends are so enthralled. They love him and his sense of humor. They love his quick wit. They love how fun he is. And suddenly weekends spent in the forest aren’t so enjoyable.
You do your best to overcome your doubts. For a few months you’re on edge. How he even found you is a mystery. Surely he wouldn’t stalk you and enroll in the same college just to get revenge or…whatever vengeance he wants from you. But when he treats you to coffee, when he brings you and the others pastries every other morning, when he invites the lot of you to study at the library, when he tells the funniest stories while crossed and everyone’s giggling like schoolgirls it really feels like he’s…healthier. Like he’s turned a fresh page in his life and is starting anew. Like he’s changed for the better.
Perhaps he just doesn’t remember you. You’ve changed your style over the years, so it’s possible he’s simply forgotten your image and can’t place memories to your name. Eventually, after soothing yourself with these theories, you begin to accept his presence in the group. He fits in so flawlessly, as if he’s a missing piece to the puzzle, and you can’t believe you’re admitting this, but you like this version of Kuni. He’s confident, not cocky. He’s kind, not rude. He gives everyone space. In fact, he rarely texts frequently in the group chat. And he’s funny! He’s so funny. You don’t think the Kuni from your past was ever as funny as the Kuni who regales everyone with lighthearted stories of how he once took in a stray cat that turned out to belong to his neighbor or how his old job had the strangest customers.
Maybe he truly did change. Maybe all of these coincidences really are coincidences. Maybe it’s for the best that you leave the past in the past.
Finals season looms, and the group hasn’t had time to meet up outside of class. Venti has tried to persuade everyone to come study at his apartment. His roommate won’t care (yes, he will. Xiao hates it when everyone gets blackout drunk and he has to wake everyone come morning), but if you’ve known Venti long enough you’ll know there is no studying that happens at these study sessions. This is probably the reason why he’s had to repeat a year.
With everyone’s schedules packed with academics, it’s difficult to find a time where everyone can get together to study. You think you might just be better off studying on your own, but Kuni’s message of you wanna pull an all-nighter for these lame af finals together?? accompanied with a photo of snacks and coffee, any thoughts of studying alone instantly vanish.
This is how you find yourself in his dorm, sprawled on his bed while he sits on the floor, whacking your dangling feet when they get too close to him. His roommate Albedo is currently out tutoring a few students at the library and won’t be back until much later, so it’s just you, Kuni, and a pile of textbooks and notes. You’ve hung out with Kuni a few times and he was great company during each. You’ve also fallen asleep in his dorm before, when you’d come over to binge a show the both of you enjoy, and you’d lost track of time and had slipped into a dream halfway through the marathon. You’d woken the next morning with Kuni looming over you, grinning deviously and holding an uncapped marker. He’d leaned down and whispered, “You drool in your sleep,” and you’d swatted at him and groused about how you were sleeping so peacefully when he just had to ruin your sleep (and your face) with his antics. And then there was that time when you were so drunk at that one party and you could hardly stand, he’d been there to help. He even stayed with you for the rest of that night, offering his assistance when you became nauseous or needed water or a snack until you passed out.
Despite your initial apprehensions, you consider him a friend. He’s no one nearly as close as Rosalyne or your other friends. He’s just a mutual friend, someone you’ll spend time with when you feel like it, but you don’t truly need him in your life. That, and part of you still struggles to trust him after all of the stress and unhealthy obsession he subjected you to.
“Kuni,” you whine, lifting your head from the textbook. “Can you get me some water? I’m thirsty.”
“Do I look like your maid?” he snaps, immersed in organizing his notes. “Get it yourself.”
“I’m picturing it now and you’re in a frilly dress and—”
“Forget I asked.” Setting his notebook down with an exaggerated sigh, he crosses the distance to the mini fridge and withdraws a bottle of water.
Grinning, you slide off of his bed and reach for it with a grateful hum. He smirks and takes a step back, holding it away from you.
“Seriously…”
Rolling your eyes, you lunge for it and he side-steps you with the practiced grace of a cat. You brace yourself against the wall and swipe at him. Again, he dodges, unscrewing the cap and shaking the bottle teasingly.
“I think I’ll take a sip for myself. All of this studying has left me so parched.”
“No fair! That’s mine!”
“Is it?” He pulls it away from his lips to observe the bottle and feigns surprise. “That’s weird. I don’t see your name on it.”
“Look closer!” you exclaim, but just as he’s about to humor you you pounce, tackling him to the ground—there’s a beanbag cushion that breaks your fall—and the water spills all over the both of you in the midst of the tumble. A slew of colorful words stick in Kuni’s throat and your laughter rings out melodiously. You seize his wrist and hold it down while reaching for the bottle in his other hand, where there’s still some water left. He struggles halfheartedly, relinquishing the bottle with a disinterested scoff, and you pull away from him to down what’s left.
While crushing the plastic bottle into a ball, you notice something on your palm—the palm that had grabbed Kuni’s wrist—and it takes a minute before the skin tone-colored substance registers in your mind.
Concealer.
You peer at him and notice that he’s cradling his arm, and confusion sprouts.
“So funny,” he spits with a hollow laugh. “You owe me a new beanbag if this one’s ruined.”
“Hey, hold on. What’s with the—”
“Forget it. You got your water, so let’s get back to studying. Or do you no longer want to be a perfect student?”
Without thinking, you grab his arm as he’s standing and when you look at his forearm you can see where the water’s started to wash the concealer away. Curiously, you scrub at it while he tries to yank his arm away, but when you unearth a dozen scars littering his wrist and climbing the length of his arm that creeping cold from before returns.
And suddenly you’re brought back to those phone calls—the ones where he’d threaten suicide and murder—and you stumble back as if you’ve been burned, half-expecting to hear those threats once more. Kuni’s staring at his wrist, his features twisted in grim disapproval, and for a moment you think he looks…hurt. Or maybe that’s sadness you see. Whatever emotion it was, it doesn’t linger because a quiet chuckle slips past his lips, and the sound is so very frigid it has your blood crystallizing.
“It really hurt when you said you never wanted to see me again.” Kuni peers down at you, and his eyes that had once been so bright and filled with light are dull and dark. “But nothing hurts more than loving you.���
You open your mouth to say something—anything—but the words won’t come. You’re rooted to the ground, horror slinking through your body and rendering you immovable. Your heart is in your throat, pounding so loudly it’s practically a drum, and a cold sweat washes over you.
“Each time I found myself hating you, I thought it was odd because I love you so much. I can’t possibly hate the one I’ve loved all this time.” He scowls. “But loving you hurts. Loving you feels like chewing glass and drinking poison. Loving you isn’t fair because while you moved forward with your ‘friends,’ I was forced to stay behind and pick up the pieces of what was left of you. So for every moment I couldn’t stand you, I tallied it on myself so that I’ll never forget the times I loved you so much I hated you.”
This can’t be happening, you’re thinking, curling your hands into trembling fists. He changed. He changed, right? This isn’t the same Kuni from before. This isn’t…
“And when I saw how well you seemed to be doing without me, I hated you even more.” Without warning, he’s grabbed your arm and hoisted you up. You open your mouth to scream, but no sound comes—not that anything could when he’s pulled a switchblade from his pocket and poised the pointed tip at your jugular. “You have poor taste in friends. Those guys suck.”
Tutting, he shakes his head at you like a parent might when scolding a child, and says, “Do you know how fucking tiring it was pretending? You think I care about pastries and stupid campfire stories? You really think I’d ever want to associate myself with that sorry lot?”
“K-Kuni, please let go of me. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were—I’m sorry. So please just…”
“And then the first time you see me after all these years apart and you had the gall to lie to my face! ‘I’ve never met him before.’ Bullshit. You just didn’t want any of your loser friends to know our history, right? Because you’re ashamed to have known me, right?”
“That’s not it! I… I was just—I didn’t… I was… I just…”
“I… I… I…” he mocks, shoving you down onto the beanbag. It dips under the sudden weight, and you sink further into it when he points the blade at you. “Stop tripping over your tongue. I should be the one near tears! You cast me aside and then forgot all about me. You abandoned me when I needed you most.” His voice cracks at that last sentence, and your heart skips erratically.
“That’s not what happened! We needed space. I needed space. You were being too—” You stop yourself, unsure of how to phrase it. Too controlling? Too dangerous? Too scary?
“Lucky for you, I’m willing to overlook these past...slights.” The blade twirls effortlessly in his grasp, and you heave a relieved breath when he’s no longer pointing it in your direction. “Marry me and we’ll forget all about the past. We’ll start over.”
His demand almost stops your heart altogether. You stare up at him, mouth agape, and mumble a disbelieving, “What?”
“You heard me.” He seems to soften with his next words, and for a moment he looks and sounds like the Kuni who hangs out with you and your friends. The harmlessly fun Kuni who always takes such good care of you. “You’re the only one I’ll ever love, so let’s get married.”
“K-Kuni, I can’t... I really can’t...”
Within seconds the blade has found itself on his wrist, pressing into delicate flesh. Not enough to cut, but if he applies more force you’ll definitely see blood. You choke on a horrified gasp.
“What was that?” He raises his brow at you, challenging you with a calm smile.
Your mind reels in an effort to conjure a plan. What can you even do? If you take the blade from him, will he turn his anger on you? Will you have to wrestle him into submission? And if you do manage to get out of his dorm, will anyone believe you? He’s painted himself in such a pleasant light. Your friends love and trust him! So what can you say? And if there isn’t any solid proof, no one will even entertain bringing the authorities into this mess.
“I’m waiting, (Name). Are you really going to make me add another tally? Do you really want me to hate you again? Oh, but maybe I should start marking you! We can add a slice for each time you failed to love me. That way we’ll both look like used cutting boards.”
You need help, you want to say, but the words escape you.
Instead, you nod hastily and say breathlessly, “Okay, yes! I’ll marry you!” Swallowing your horror, you glance at the blade as it’s lifted from his skin. Thankfully, there isn’t a cut. “I... I’ll marry you, Kuni. So... So please don’t hurt yourself. Please.”
It feels like you’ve been strangled for an eternity, so when he finally pockets the blade the air in your lungs returns and you collapse against the beanbag, chest rising and falling in short, panicked breaths. 
“Good.” He bends down to your height, grips your chin with cold fingers, and forces you to meet his adoring stare. “We’ll look at rings tomorrow. Or maybe you’d prefer bracelets instead? I can be flexible but only for you, so you’d better be grateful.”
You swallow rising bile and nod. “T-Thank you.” You’re not sure why you’re thanking him when he hardly deserves it, but it feels like the right thing to say to ease the tension.
Kuni’s eyes sparkle, no longer a void of endless darkness, and when he leans in to capture your lips in his your heart sinks. You really can’t run from your past, can you?
#genshin chit chat#yandere-romanticaa#yandere scaramouche#scara says he needs you but what he really needs is a therapist first and foremost#adding heizou into the mix!!! he probably takes notice of your change in behavior#and confronts you one on one to ask if everything's okay#and he looks so concerned and his voice is so soft and so you break and spill everything#and he nods while he takes in all of this information before offering to help#he knows the law (he's studying it after all!) so he can help you#but what heizou doesn't tell you is that the law might crush one evil person but it can easily protect other evils :)#especially him who is oh-so-honorable and sweet#you'd never know he wants to be more than just friends#and that he has a journal detailing your every move#but also i like the idea of heizou being a genuine friend and the two of you grow closer while trying to find ways to get scara caught#and taken away from you for good#but yan!heizou just hits so deliciously orz#also also!! adding in rosalyne~~ she went to the same uni as kuni (in snezhnaya)#but when he finally found out where you were he transferred#and rosa only realized they went to the same school when she found out from ajax (who also attends the same uni)#kuni probably worked part-time as a hospital receptionist before he transferred schools#and he's pretty sure the doctor there is a serial killer or he's just on the border of criminally insane (this is dottore after all)#(me looking at every way i can insert each harbinger into this au >:D)
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icecoldtoe · 5 months
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Hi this is a post about extremely specific details i notice in mcr songs (some are not very specific i just wanted to make a post abt it)
In sleep at 0:58 there's a scream in the background when gerard says "don't you breathe for me" (i hadn't noticed it before but now i hear it every time!!)
In vampires will never hurt you at 1:24 exactly you can hear ray playing a wrong note!! He plays an F natural instead of playing an F# even tho the song is in Em so it has to be an F# (also it just sounds a bit funky when you listen real close)
This one is kind of obvious but at the end of teenagers you can hear drumsticks being put down and i think it's fun
Idk how to explain this next one
Basically, all the mcr/gerard songs that are in D Major are sister songs to me!!
Here are all the mcr/gerard songs that are in D :
early sunsets
s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w
summertime
the kids from yesterday
disenchanted
the world is ugly
brother
drugstore perfume
maya the psychic
dasher
idk they all have a vibe
(there's also I'm not okay and headfirst for halos but they don't really work with the rest of the songs. they're the only other songs tho!!!)
idk what it is about D Major but yeah
anyways here's a pie chart of all the keys mcr use in their songs (order of the circle of fifths) :
Tumblr media
also here's a link to a spreadsheet i made with all the mcr songs and their keys, time signatures, bpms, durations etc :
and here's the color-coded one with the mcr tonalities according to the circle of fifths :
The D major thing is driving me crazy i think about it every day THEY'RE SISTER SONGSSSSS
I will be adding more in the future probably
Also PLEASE if you have other weird things you notice in mcr's music please please put them in the tags or the comments i really want to know!!!
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vestaldestroyer · 2 months
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ok I wonder if there's someone out there who has this too
I don't get crushes or fall in love. instead, I become obsessed with people. I feel absolute loyalty and devotion to them. I'd do anything they ask without question. it's instinctive and automatic, I don't even think about it. I become their servant and follow them around like a puppy. every minimal attention from them gives me infinite joy.
this is always one sided and everyone eventually gets creeped out or annoyed and leaves. it breaks me every time. yet I can't stop it from happening. I try to hold back but it's almost impossible.
not that I would wish this on anybody, but please tell me I'm not the only one
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lale-txt · 5 months
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when i was a kid, i used to play so much Pokémon that i would hear the battle music when trying to fall asleep and had to double check if i had REALLY turned my gameboy off (it was always off)
i'm experiencing the same phenomenon but with Zelda BOTW now asdfhgjk
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fayevalcntine · 7 months
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The whole "Claudia is now his sister"/Louis' sibling comparisons are never gonna sit right with me because that's never going to erase the fact that Claudia exists as a vampire partly because of him. Their relationship will never have this clearly defined role of siblings in the same manner Louis had with Grace or Paul, even if he was their older brother and was implicitly given the role of providing for them as the successor and manager of his family's estate. Because Louis was never responsible in part for their creation, the reason why they existed the way that they do in terms of behavior and life itself.
It also makes his betrayal of her all the more heartbreaking in ways that him and Grace drifting apart never will. He was her father, and didn't provide emotional support for her. She had to turn the tables and try to assume the role of being on an equal level because of this failure but this doesn't make him not choosing her any less painful than it did the first time. Even as they shift roles, take or give emotional responsibility one has towards the other, the fact that Claudia exists the way she does because of him and Lestat will always be there.
#interview with the vampire#claudia#louis de pointe du lac#it's why in a way Lestat's whole 'I am your maker' rant is relevant#not in terms of him trying to keep his veil of control over her#but in terms of how no matter how she tries to shift positions; switch roles#put on the costume of 'sister/companion/mother/knight'#she will always be on a lesser position than him or even Louis#because THEY are her parents#even on a physical level she's technically weaker because she's in the body of a teenager#her given role of daughter will never be shed; especially when both of them took to physically abusing her#and tbh I personally don't like acting as if Claudia having to take on the role of Louis' protector/therapist/sister#is a positive thing in any way#it's basically his own child being forced by circumstances to be the adult#and it's such a fucked up dynamic to me#i'm not saying Louis is responsible for that because he had his own issues and then there's Lestat who acerbates the whole situation#but consider it from Claudia's angle: she keeps Lestat away from Louis for SIX years#then Louis takes him back; and even tells her to get used to it and to try to be more open with her own abuser#all the while Claudia gives him nothing but understanding and time; pleads with him to run away together#i can't even start on how his betrayal of her after the attempted murder is not only the final nail of the coffin#but the only result she gets after emotionally supporting him throughout this entire situation#anyway no offense to anyone that makes Claudia/Grace/Paul edits in relation to Louis#it's just that even without the ep7 reveal the whole thing feels sour to me in episode 6#because that is very much not his sister/brother protecting him; that's his daughter#Claudia should not have to do this shit on her own; she should not have to assume another role just to be considered seriously#in any way by either Louis or Lestat
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astriiformes · 2 months
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Had a really good conversation with my therapist yesterday that has left me feeling better about life & the future than I have in... months, honestly (which also has me feeling really good about her ability to help me continue sorting through things).
I was talking about my distress about the future and in particular what I'm going to do when I graduate, since grad school isn't the most stable option, and she pointed out that since I was spiraling over hypotheticals, maybe it made sense to simply make up my mind about the first step, since applying to grad school is hardly the same as committing to grad school. And she was so right. I am so good at feeling like I need to make the right, perfect decision -- especially after making mistakes with school in the past -- that I have been worrying myself into depressive spirals over what the "right" decision is here. But making up my mind to at least apply and find out what my options are is a decision, that will give me a lot more information in the long run than paralysis over if it's "okay" to apply at all.
It'll still take a lot of work, obviously, and l don't know if I'll even get in anywhere, much less actually commit to doing a PhD if I do. But it has taken such an incredible weight off my shoulders just to say "Okay, I am going to apply, what next?" Because it means I can put all that nervous energy to actual use! Instead of spiraling the next time I start thinking about my options in the future, I can go do research on different PhD programs (without feeling guilty the whole time, like I have been until now)! I can ask my favorite professors for advice! I can reach out to current grad students to ask what they think of their advisors! All of which is actually productive and will help me make the most informed choice I can if and when the time comes, instead of ruminating endlessly on what the "best" one is!
TL;DR -- my therapist is very smart and understands me and the things my brain gets stuck on in a big way, and her advice has dislodged literal months of extremely disordered thinking just like that. Because now I feel like I've made a choice and have something to work towards. And also like I can breathe.
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boag · 6 months
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I mentioned this briefly yesterday but basically my mom lost her little purse while walking the dogs and we’ve looked everywhere in our neighborhood and someone definitely took it bc it’s nowhere to be found. We have no way to track the location of anything in it bc she still has her phone, but the purse contained literally everything else we had. All of our money and all of my mom’s cards and important items were in it and now we have absolutely nothing. So if anyone could help us out so we can pay for food and bills and stuff while we sort this out it would really be SO appreciated like we’re just completely screwed rn 😭 Anything any of you could spare would really help us so much like we’re currently just penniless with no backup plan or anything and we used the rest of the little food we had to make dinner tonight and now we have nothing left
My Cashapp, PayPal, and Venmo are all karmabauer
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guardian-of-da-gay · 5 months
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Yall should take all my Knuckles Wachowski angst hc/fics with a grain of 'I once read a fic where the mc was severely traumatized and at one point got triggered and hid himself away in a bathroom where the character that was helping him couldn't get to him and in the morning he emerged, trying his best to pretend it never happened and the character reflected that 'whatever demons he'd faced, he'd faced them alone' and it altered my brain chemistry'
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fidgetspringer · 5 months
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.
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lover-of-mine · 5 months
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I'm just saying the show shouldn't let people assault Buck and keep him acting like it's his fault.
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Does anyone else have the sudden urge to just... fucken.... lay down in the middle of the floor in the fetal position while inhaling a loaf of garlic bread while simultaneously being just... dead to the world and scrolling on tumblr?
Anyway that's how I'm spending my afternoon.
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snixx · 9 months
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it's not that i don't believe in therapy it's that when i NEEDED it no one cared. so I figured it out myself. I know how to handle myself and my (increasingly infrequent) breakdowns and I understand myself and know I'll be okay no matter what and I self reflect and process my emotions and am very emotionally open and I'm so proud of the person I am every day. but I do have low days, and that's what pisses me off: I'm ALLOWED to be sad sometimes. it's a part of how my brain works, and the important thing is I know how to handle it effectively in a healthy way. and swooping in and forcing me to pay an insane amount to sit in an office when I DID ALL THAT WORK MYSELF is so aggravating. therapy has only ever made me feel worse. I'm a survivor, I've survived so much, and therapy is literally just a scapegoat for empathy for people these days. it relieves you of having to engage or care about other people. and LISTEN I'm not anti therapy by any means. as the Therapist Friend ™️ even when I'm mentally ill asf and when I was a literal kid myself I know that sometimes you can't do anything. professional help is necessary. it's the only way. but it doesn't!!! fucking!!! work for everyone!!! if someone isn't actively suicidal and trying to get better on their own and they don't WANT therapy because it doesn't WORK for them maybe don't be a condescending dick about it! therapy isn't a magical solution that makes everyone okay SOMETIMES people have external problems and are justified in feeling the way they do!!! therapy can be helpful yes but a lot of the time it is just a soulless void of practiced regulations for something that is not black or white because guess what everyone's different! and assuming the same thing works for everyone and that YOU know better than them (unless they're clearly obviously not doing well and are beyond helping themselves) is condescending as fuck!!!
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astridthevalkyrie · 2 months
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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh
long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional
#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now#and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him#they're both going to the correct doctors#but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is#jokes that i'm faking it#i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself#which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't#but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was#so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time#and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me#i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems#i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY#the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS#i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind#and not awkward or mean#i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't#and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware#but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit#i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone#i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child#my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow#what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it
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ten-simm · 5 months
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Title: Piece of a Peace of Mind (One-Shot)
The Doctor knew that he should feel hatred towards the Master for all the innocent human lives he almost took and tortured, for all the irreparable damage he caused to the Jones and their lives, for all the planets and galaxies he tried to take over and cause chaos and destruction upon, for almost ruining the balance of the universe and time he so desperately tried to protect all these centuries.
But the only thing the Master did that made the Doctor's heart shake in anger, frustration and anguish was also the only thing not related to any of this at all.
He had left him behind.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/The Master (Simm), The Doctor/The Master
Words: 1,243
Rating/Warnings: M | Light mentions of blood and violence
Tags: Angst, Character Study, Doctor Who: Academy Era (Mentioned), The Year That Never Was (Mentioned), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
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dreamlogic · 2 months
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2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)
#ctxt#i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70%#i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections#to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh#going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long#while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time#but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed#to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach#and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me#and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually#i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op)#but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever#i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it#money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out#but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now#genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year#and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough#to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last#in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was#bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive#and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there#but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety#it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself'#and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time?#and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it#i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults#i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed#instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things#and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need#chronic blogging
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