Tumpik
#they didn't even have it in their system yet lol
houkagokappa · a year ago
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Bless Fantasiapelit for catering to me and my interests by having the two books I'm looking to buy right next to each other
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qqueenofhades · 23 days ago
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Hi! I know Charles is terrible for a number of reasons, but if it’s not too much trouble can I get like, a top 10 list or something lol, that I may be able to pull out over the following months when people are like “well he’s not thaaaat bad.” I wouldn’t even know where to start looking, not to mention what might be buried or hard to find.
Oh boy, this is my time. (Well, again.)
Aside from how awfully Charles treated Diana while they were married, let's start with the massive ongoing cash-for-honors scandal and the investigation into his private charity for basically selling personal access to him (the future British monarch) in exchange for, sometimes, literal duffel bags of black cash. (Don't worry, they promised with all seriousness that next time, they would absolutely stop taking those!) This was also happening at the same time as the police probe into his younger brother Andrew for, y'know, being a statutory rapist and sex trafficker who hosted Kevin Spacey and Ghislaine Maxwell as his personal guests at Buckingham Palace. Yet again, the Palace bureaucracy tried to insist that Charles Didn't Know About This Personally!!!, because the "good prince" is exempt from the dealings of his treacherous and corrupt advisors. Mmmmhmmm.
In another case of being the most oblivious person ever, at best, Charles's charity also happily took a donation of one million pounds from the bin Laden family (yes, THAT bin Laden family). Of course when it came out, they insisted that it had been properly vetted and it was from the respectable Saudi business bin Laden! Not, y'know, the terrorist ones! I guess money from anywhere for any reason is just fine, at least until you get caught and have to do some fast talking. Possibly this is because Charles and Camilla's fancy-health-food Waitrose brand, "Duchy Originals," got busted for fraud and advocating dangerous and ineffective homeopathic remedies (which Charles has also used his public platform to advocate for, including his batshit belief that coffee enemas can cure cancer). He also likewise used his platform to interfere in civic and architectural plans that he didn't like, and is generally known for being much more outspoken and politically visible than his mother. I mean sure, his parents sucked and were physically and emotionally distant, so that can't really help growing up in such a fucked-up environment, but still.
In his (very limited) defense, I will say that he has, for quite a while, advocated for sustainability programs and action on climate change, but considering all the efforts that he himself would have to make to truly support those actions on more than just a vocal or interest-based level, that is not something that we can hang on him as a laurel. Besides, he's still the inheritor of the entire British monarchy and its whole fucked-up system, and unless he plans to change literally all of that, yeah.
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perceabeth · 5 months ago
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Would you be willing to elaborate on why you think hoo broke the rules of the world? I didn’t like the series bc of what it did to the og character arcs but I never caught onto it breaking the rules. No pressure to do so I’m mostly just curious
lol it's okay! WEEEEEEEELLLLLLL where to begin?
Big Three Kids!
The whole point of PJO was that there was nobody like Percy. That they were rare and were destined to be hunted to death because they weren't meant to be born. So then, of course, you assume they don't exist! The ones who are alive each paid a heavy price- Bianca and Thalia died, Thalia chose immortality, Bianca and Nico each lived in a weird universe where they missed out on their own lives.
There was no real reason for Jason to be a child of Zeus other than to put him in a position of leadership, but the thing about New Rome is that they have a different system about these things anyway with their cohorts and stuff and him being Thalia's sister adds so little to anything it was just a really stupid move imo.
I get what Riordan was trying to do with Hazel by circumventing the rule-- but it feels cheap and tacky. ESPECIALLY because Hazel's powers are so badly plotted out that she could have just as easily been a child of Hecate lol.
The most baffling one, though, is FRANK who is for some reason a legacy of Poseidon? I would have thought that was cool-- like being a legacy and so many generations before you having lived out their lives despite being demigods? SUPER cool. In that case. Why is he also a son of Mars?
It feels like too much is being packed into too little and when you don't have the time to explore these things, they just seem like he's saying hey. I know I said it's rare for demigods to grow old. But that's GREEK demigods. The ROMANS are super cool and super fun and they don't stand by the same rules!
2. The actual powers themselves.
Leo, son of Hephaestus and brother of Charles Beckendorf who died in a fire- now has control over fire! Piper can basically brainwash anyone because she's got Charmspeak but wait! There's more! Her sister Drew ALSO has Charmspeak!! Both of them are, of course, sisters of a girl who was manipulated into betraying all her friends <3 Hazel's a daughter of Hades? She's magic. Also she has power over gems and knows her way underground (I cannot even begin to think of WHAT made him decide the black girl needs to play ANY of these roles but I digress). Frank's just an average son of Mars who can turn into any animal he wants, which is totally cool and normal!
Do you remember how special Percy was in PJO? How hard other demigods had to train in combat because they would be killed if they didn't learn it? Remember how absolutely rare it was to see demigods with that kind of power, to the point where Chiron didn't want Percy and Thalia to be near each other because he feared they'd destroy everything? Not anymore <3 Super Powerful Demigods can now sit together on a ship and face no consequences at all, even when they have minor disagreements because they all come together very organically !!
3. Character arcs
I know you said it, but I can't talk about HoO and not bring up Nico di Angelo. Tell me why he went through his arc TWICE in two series? Here's the reason: because Mr. Riordan didn't want to make any of the main cast gay <3 He did it for woke points, so he was like hey hold on what if. Instead of any combination of the FIVE new characters I introduced being gay... I can retcon my Straight Series so it looks like I'm far more inclusive!
Great job, Mr. Riordan. You have raised a bunch of rabid fans who like Nico now because he's Gay and not because at one point he was an innocent boy who loses everything and fights to find his way back home. His story in PJO was a large part of the Great Prophecy, and yet... all of that was washed away in order to make him Gay Gay Gay.
Percy and Annabeth, we know-- it's a travesty. Stupid Percy and Robot Annabeth we've been through this a thousand times fuck that shit but it's so disappointing because as readers WE know these characters. We know them from PJO where they were each their own person and they had some good moments but HoO effectively wiped off the super strong friendship they already had going.
4. A HALFBLOOD'S LIFE!!!!
WHY has that been cheapened to the point of a joke!! It's literally so insane like the first series is about how difficult it is to be a half-blood. Greek and Roman mythology are not as different as Greek and Egyptian, see, so TKC ad MCGA can afford to change up the rules but HoO can't. That's like. The whole point!! So to randomly say hey actually this group is perfectly fine and the reason they're living so well is because the Greeks aren't as organised is so offensive to the reader because up until now all we had was the Greek camp! He flips it over and then somehow blames US for being stupid enough to think that's the only way to live.... and still decides to give the Roman camp child soldiers?????????????????????????????????????????????? make it make sense im begging
5. The bloody GODS
What did HoO do. Like. What did it do.
Because I can tell you what PJO did. PJO was about the gods learning to hold themselves accountable for the lives they create, drew a parallel between mortals, demi-mortals and immortal beings and dissected the value of life. It was a learning curve for everyone involved: for Luke, for Percy, and for the gods he so unwaveringly served. That was the point. That Luke was right, that the gods were primarily to blame because they don't care enough about human life. That they don't even care about minor gods. They swore to change.
And HoO is like aha I know I made it a whole thing and it was a huge sacrifice on Percy's part because he was offered immortality in place of the gods being held accountable-- but sike they haven't changed, even ONE YEAR down the line.
It makes the ENTIRE first Great Prophecy a TOTAL joke. Like what was the point of ANY of that happening if the gods were jut going to revert to being the exact same???
6. Harrowing realities of war
According to the wiki, there were forty campers fighting at the Battle of Manhattan. Forty. That's how many demigods there were. Yeah, the Hunters helped and the party ponies also came in- but it was a small team of campers. Between BotL and TLO, I can think off the top of my head about Lee Mitchell, Castor or Pollux (whichever one) Charles Beckendorf, Michael Yew, Silena Beauregard who died. A lot of these characters have been mentioned before as well! And they died. Because children shouldn't be fighting a war, actually, and yet here they were, dying before they could apply to college. The finale was just this horrible moment when Silena dies and Kronos attacks Chiron and everything seems so bleak and it's when Annabeth loses faith that you know everything is going to change.
Meanwhile HoO is the most absurd final battle, I think, because if I'm being honest, I don't even know who the enemy is. First they're fighting giants then the gods arrive and Fix it for them and then they're fighting Romans and Greeks and then there's monsters in their armies? And SIKE it's actually Gaea who's the Big Bad and defeating her fixes everything as though ANY of that makes sense!! So what, then? All the work that they did in PJO- the friends they buried and the enemies they spared-- that is stupid, right, when you can just get some girl to come and scream "please stop fighting"? What is the point of the war then?
Just because it's more complicated.... doesn't make the writing good.
7. What Theme.
Percy Jackson is about finding your place in the world. It's about home and it's about hope and it's about knowing that you're never alone. That love is always the answer, that faith and belief are the only motivators and that all darkness can be defeated with light. Someoe tell me what HoO is about. Earth Bad, Teenagers Good? It's not even about bridging the gap between the Greeks and Romans which is what it ostensibly claims is the core of the series. Makes it feel like PJO was dumb to have a theme at all. <3
Look at the time lol
In summation,
PJO is a story. HoO is a bunch of scenes sewn together where every scene is designed to be more insane and also to consistently undermine everything that happens in PJO. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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saintrvckwell · 5 days ago
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Not on my knees quite yet, but I was a fool back then (ellie williams x reader) 
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ellie williams x fem!reader
summary: ellie would've saved a lot of time if she stopped avoiding uncomfortable conversations
warnings: angst!, swearing, slight nsfw (kissing), ellie's being a d!ck from time to time
words count: 9.1k
a/n: the last piece i published made cry while writing so naturally (and gladly!) this one made me smile — and laugh. i'm sucker for this sort of trope and i figured i owe you something a lil happier after my previous work. i hope you didn't forget about me.
also! this si an angst and comedic gold at the same time. lol enjoy!
"did I let you down before i can make my peace? so if you're listening now, could you hear me out at least?"
The sun was already down, leaving the moon take its rightful spot. Your boyfriend’s touch was lingering your shoulder as you stood in his living room, mind drifting away from the conversation you were a part of just a second ago. With a polite smile on your face until you caught a sight of her.  There, on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall with a cup of beer in her hand, looking right at you. More than anything, you wanted to press your lips against hers. To stop the world around from spinning. To satisfy that little desire of yours. 
Yet you couldn’t. 
Because that’s not what friends do. And that is what you and Ellie mutually agreed to be. Without realising how much of impossible quest you had given to each other. 
It wasn’t always like that. Not so long ago, staring into her eyes without falling even harder wouldn’t seen so impossible. But not so long ago, the two of you were just friends. Two people who might have been impeccably good at hiding their likings. Two people who used to spend every minute of their days with each other. But those two people truly sucked at having uncomfortable conversations. 
And somehow ended up here. 
“Is everything okay?” your boyfriend’s voice pulled you back to reality, finally breaking off the eye contact with Ellie. 
Your eyes locked, seeing a hint of concern glancing in his. Smile crept up on your lips, sending a nonverbal answers for his worried mind. 
“Do you want a beer?” he asked, offering his cup. 
“No, it’s alright. I'm going to get some water,” you shook your head. 
“Y/N?”
Before you made a single move, his hand swiftly reached out for yours, stopping you. There it was again, the concern. 
“I’m fine,” you smiled, dedicating him the most believable form of fake smile you had in store. 
And once you managed to get out of his sight, you let a frustrated sigh out of your mouth. Closing the kitchen door, you got yourself a few minutes of peace. Few minutes to sort out your shit and pull yourself together. Before he will grow more suspicious, if that was even possible. 
You were here with your boyfriend. Yet you couldn’t stop thinking about her. And those words she shared with you on patrol. 
The two of you hitting the road wasn’t something unusual. Quite the contrary. You and Ellie took almost all of the patrols together, feeling the most safest around the other. From time to time, you ended up taking a route with someone else due to Maria’s schedule system. And although the townsmen of Jackson knew their way around guns, you never felt as comfortable as when you went out with her. You knew each other’s tactics to very last detail. You worked so well together. 
Every other day, just not today. 
Due to awkwardness that’s been floating over your friendship like a dark cloud, you ended having multiple close calls. Usual encounters with runners and clickers that you would handle without a single worry seemed almost lethal this time. The miscommunication and unfinished business you’ve been avoiding for weeks took its toll on you. And had you walking home without a single bullet left in your pocket. 
“I had it under control,” Ellie muttered, anger covered in her words.
“You didn’t have it under control,” you retorted, visibly not in the mood to be having a conversation with her. 
It was supposed be a usual route to check out the stores in a town nearby. One of the shops, a book store, ended up being full of infected. Something that became absolutely normal for you to come across. The two of you wanted to clear the space stealthy, just with different tactics. Both of you went separate directions, unintentionally drawing the attention of runners with your chaotic way of communication. A second later you were quite literally fighting for your own lives with shouted insults filling the air. 
Ellie wanted to run out through a little office space at the back of the store which led to emergency exit while you wanted to go back and took the main entrance since there was too many of runners for you to handle without any casualties. Ellie, as stubborn as she usually was, disagreed with you. More specifically, she didn’t even let you express your disapproval. She simply headed back there, with your yelling echoing the room. You managed to shoot down two more runners when you heard Ellie’s sudden cry for help. 
Needless to say, the worst appeared in your mind. You didn’t know which one of those catastrophic scenarios would be worse. Ellie being dead or bitten with the necessity of you to shoot her to prevent her from suffering? Thankfully, none of those turned out to be reality as you succeeded to save Ellie in the last second. 
Lying on the floor with clicker on top of her, Ellie was trying to reach for her gun tossed in corner of the office room. Not waisting any time, two of your bullets went through that clicker’s head, drops of blood splatted on Ellie’s freckled cheeks. You didn’t even have time to give her proper shit about it. Instead of that, you grabbed the gun, pulled her up and grabbed her hand, getting both of you out of that bookstore. 
As if that wasn’t enough. Once you were back on the street, barricading the main entrance with literally everything suitable, you needed to patch ourselves up. You headed to pharmacy two stores away, hoping to find something usable. You were on foot today and Jackson was more than an hour of walk away. You opened the door, letting the guard down for a second and stepped on the glass shattered on the floor. Ellie’s scream pulled you back to reality, as well as her hand, literally pushing you out of the store. Falling on the cold pavement, you looked at Ellie firing her last shots. 
“Motherfucker,” she mumbled, putting her gun back into her thigh holster.
You spotted the clicker bleeding out on the floor. Worse than that was just that banging coming from the bookstore, letting you both be aware of the fact that the barricade won’t hold for too long. 
“Fuck,” Ellie hissed as she turned to you. “Let’s go,” she walked past you. “Or do you wanna sit around and wait for a bite?” 
She was unbearable. 
As a matter of fact, that’s how you ended up fighting. Halfway to Jackson, because of her snarky attitude and your habit of not letting shit go. 
“I had it under control,” she stopped, looking right at you, fists clenched as she tried to surpass her anger. 
“No you didn’t,” you repeated your previous words — this time with much more resistance. “Because if you had it under control, I wouldn't have to jump over there and save your fucking ass!” 
“Like you’re the one to talk,” she laughed sarcastically. “Why the fuck did you go to that pharmacy in the first place? Previous close call wasn’t enough? Are you feeling suicidal today? Otherwise I can’t explain that fucking reckless decision of yours!” 
“I wanted to find us some bandages!” you explained, pointing you to multiple scratches on Ellie’s hands. 
“How generous of you,” she spoke ironically. “You’re such an idiot, truly.” 
“Am I what?” you whispered. 
“An idiot,” she repeated her words and took a step closer. “An actual idiot.” 
You couldn’t help but laugh over her affectedness. “Well, I’m sorry that I tried to help you!”
“I didn’t ask for it!”
“You’re such a pain in the ass today, seriously. We should’ve taken the main entrance as I told you—“
“Are you seriously going to turn this into a lecture?” she wasn’t even trying to hide her sarcasm. “Do you really feel like you’re in the position to be giving me shit about my bad decisions? You?” 
“What is that supposed to mean?!” you snapped, hands crossed over your chest. 
Ellie stopped for a second and took a deep breath, probably rethinking her whole dedication to have this conversation right now. 
“Nothing, let it go.” 
She responded quietly, breaking off the eye contact and getting back on the road. She didn’t bother to wait for you. In fact, you stood there for another five minutes, watching her silhouette disappear out of your sight. She arrived at the east gate without you, completely ignoring Jesse’s concerned voice asking her about your whereabouts. You arrived twenty minutes after her, not as furious as when she left you there. Mostly just confused by her words. Not in the mood to have a conversation with Jesse, who was visibly puzzled over your and Ellie’s strange behaviour. 
After that uncomfortable patrol, you headed home. Lately, it has been more than odd between the two of you. Even though you’ve made an agreement to be just friends, it didn’t seem like any side would be particularly pleased with that choice. In fact, it only made you more distant. This was just the final nail in the coffin for your friendship. 
You were so mad at her. Mad because no matter what shit she caused, it wouldn’t change the way you felt about her. She could’ve behaved like an absolute asshole, yet would still think of her. You would still give her a chance. Your feelings for Ellie weren’t leaving anytime soon. Which, in the end, made you feel horribly. Considering the fact that your affection towards your boyfriend was nowhere near the one towards Ellie. 
You already felt like the worst person after what you and Ellie did — what ultimately led to this mess. 
Obie was your rebound. Your distraction. Someone who appeared in your life, willing to give you that kind of love you desired to receive from her. And for a moment, you wanted to make this work — while Ellie was dating Cat. During that period of time, the two of you almost never hung out, rather avoided each other.
You’ve been thinking about it for weeks — about that night. About doing the right thing — accepting the consequences. You just didn’t have the guts to do it. You planned it for some time, yet failed every attempt to do so. But Obie wasn’t an idiot and soon enough picked up on your weird behaviour. That’s why he asked you to come tonight. To have fun with him and his friends. 
Which didn’t include Ellie. But she somehow managed to show up here and made you feel even worse. Again. 
You were aware of that poor choice of timing. Yet you couldn’t wait any longer. Appearing back in the living room, you grabbed Obie’s hand, quietly urging him to stop the conversation and head out with you. Taking a quick look around the room, your eyes met with hers. Noticing your intertwined fingers, she drew up, watching you both carefully as you fled the scene. 
Sitting on the stairs on Obie's back porch, second thoughts crept in. As bad as it might sound, Obie represented an insurance. Insurance for you that even if you can’t be with Ellie, you have someone who’s willing to give you the kind of love you demanded. And in some ways, he was your friend. Your occasional patrol partner. And you didn’t to prolong this. More than you already did. 
As soon as you let a frustrated sigh out of your mouth, Obie already knew where this was headed. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, feeling too cowardly to look into his eyes. “I really am. I’m aware of the fact that you most likely won’t believe me, though you have every single right for it, but I never meant to hurt you. That wasn’t my intention.” 
“What was it then?” he looked up at you, confused. 
“You liked me,” you whispered. “And I thought that by giving it a chance, I could eventually like you the same way. But I don’t. And you deserve someone who will.” 
“I hope you’re not planning on giving me that heartfelt speech of how much I deserve to be loved,” he mumbled sarcastically. “You should’ve ended this right away.” 
“I know,” you nodded with your tail between your legs. “And I’m sorry.” 
“Well, I guess she’s the winner, after all,” he muttered, getting your attention. 
A confusion was drawn over your face. “What are you talking about?” 
“Ellie?” he laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re so blinded by your own affection that you didn’t notice how much she’s pining for you.”
“She’s not—“ you stopped. “Ellie’s not interested in me. Not like that.” 
“The least you could do right now, is stop lying to me.” 
“I’m not lying to you,” opposed.
“You’re just embarrassing yourself,” he laughed to himself. “Why do you think I brought you here tonight? To prove my point. And I succeeded the second I saw how you were looking at each other. Or did you really think you’re so inconspicuous? Don’t even try to tell me that nothing happened between the two of you. Even if you do, it doesn’t matter anymore. 'Cause I am done with this. With you.” 
“Obie—“
Before you attempted to finish your sentence, the door swung open, letting someone else to join your conversation. 
“There you are!” Jesse exclaimed happily. “We’re gonna play some games, are you guys joining us?” he asked curiously, overlooking the tension between you and Obie. 
Obie didn’t wait a single second. He stood up and left to room in a matter of seconds while you sat there, replaying your previous choice in your mind. 
“Are you going or not?” Jesse’s voice pulled you back to reality. 
You nodded quietly and followed him. 
“Did I interrupted something?” Jesse asked while the two of you walked through the hallway to Obie’s living room. “You guys seemed to be in the middle of—“
“Jesse, can I ask you something?” you blurred out, stopping in the middle of a hallway. 
Curiousness in his eyes served as a nonverbal kind of answer you were looking for. 
“You, Dina and Ellie went out last night, right?” you asked. 
During your morning patrol with Dina, she casually brought up their plan for the evening. She mentioned her, Jesse and Ellie were heading out for a few. She tried to persuade you to join them but staying home felt like a more suitable option for you. You’ve already declined Obie’s offer to go out that morning, when he walked you to stables. 
Jesse nodded. 
“Obie mentioned he was going out with other guys from patrol team. This might sound strange but… do know if Ellie and Obie ran into each other? More specifically — if something happened between them?”
“Hell yeah, I was actually starting to get a little worried, for Obie, of course. He made a few comments and you know Ellie. She wouldn’t just let it go and leave. They had an argument and it escalated into Maria and Tommy pulling them apart before Ellie managed to break his nose, in the better case,” he clarified. “Weren’t you patrolling with her this morning? I’m surprised she didn’t tell you. Considering how much she hates his guts.” 
Somehow, Ellie’s behaviour made much more sense now. 
“What did he say to her?” you mumbled impatiently, craving for answers. 
Jesse sighed, visibly not feeling comfortable in this conversation. “Listen, it’s none of my business. You gotta ask one of them.” 
“C’mon man!” you whined. “You can’t just leave me hanging!” 
“I didn’t hear much of their altercation. But from the parts that I caught, I reckon it was about you. It got pretty ugly for a second, before Maria interfered.”  
You were given what you had asked for, unsure whether this was the sort of answer you wanted. 
A few seconds later, you and Jesse joined others in the living room. Not many people left, mostly just guys from your age group at patrols. Majority of them, including Obie, were sitting on the sofa, except for Dina and Jesse who were snuggling on one of the chairs. And Ellie, who’s presence was somehow different this time — more pleasant. After what you learned from Jesse about the incident, you felt a bit guilty for snapping at her this morning. 
Although the reasons for your actions were justified. It was the anger and frustration bubbling inside you for the past few weeks that got triggered by Ellie’s stubborn persona and her need to have the last word. You had every single right to be furious with her, but right now — you couldn’t bring yourself to it. 
So when your eyes were struggling to find hers, minute after you appeared inside, your heart sunk deep into your stomach. You wondered if seeing you and Obie disappear was the straw for her. If this was all she needed to be done with you. Maybe she left, choosing the comfort of her little shed in Joel’s backyard. A part of you wanted to run after her. To get the answers, to stop this madness. 
Until you found her. Coming from the kitchen, she immediately saw you. A momentary smile was brought to your lips over that sudden sight of her. A momentary smile that she managed to spot and frown, confused. 
Redness in your cheeks forced you to look away and sit down on the carpet, trying hard to avoid locking eyes with her. Unfortunately for you, her steps led to the same place you took. With all the space left to choose, she still sat down right next to you, her thigh casually brushing against yours, sending shivers down your spine.  You didn’t dare to look at her, though you knew her eyes were all over you. 
When you finally took the courage to do so, your eyes met with Obie’s. The kindness was gone for good once you spotted the viciousness aimed at you while his eyes danced from yours to Ellie’s.
Then Dina offered to play spin the bottle. The four of you had your own version, mostly just forcing the chosen one to do the stupidest shits for fun. The fact that this wasn’t the silly version you created in Ellie’s house became obvious the second Obie made his turn. This version, completely followed by his rules somehow turned to be his own form of vendetta. 
Especially once the bottle pointed at Ellie. 
“Fuck me,” she cursed under her breath. 
Point of the original game was simple. The one spinning the bottle chooses the task for the selected one. Nothing's off limits and in case the player decides to refuse to finish demanded task, they have to handle a piece of clothing as a form of penalty. 
“I’m all in for happy endings,” that smile pictured over his face reminded you of Cheshire Cat. 
Ellie sighed with annoyance, definitely not having the time of her life. 
“So how about you give that best friend of yours a little kiss? Or a big one. That’s totally up to you,” he grinned, sipping from his cup of beer. Visibly proud of what he was trying to achieve. “I’ll watch it anyway.” 
For a second, you thought you might deserved to get this treatment from him. He was hurt by your actions. But not in any case, he had a single right to take out his anger on Ellie.
You stole a glance at her and noticed she was taking off one of her Converse sneaker. Without a single word, she tossed it right at him. 
Cold sweat covered your body, realising what she just did.
Obie caught her shoe, slimy grimace on his face. 
“And to think you wanted to break my nose for this,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Guess it wasn’t worth it after all. If this is what you want, then I'm happy for that sudden change of heart. But spare a thought for your best friend, she probably just got her heart broken.” 
As soon as those words left his mouth, Ellie’s eyes met with yours, noticing the slight disappointment you tried so hard to cover up. You looked away, taking a deep breath. You didn’t want to make this any more embarrassing — knowing that’s exactly what Obie was hoping to achieve. Getting up and storming out the house wouldn’t be the smartest choice considering your current reputation so you stayed. Trying so hard to avoid Dina and Jesse’s confused looks pointed at you and Ellie. 
As the rounds went on, so did the tasks. Dina and Jesse had to make-out which seemed rather ridiculous to you, considering they were doing this 24/7, mostly to annoyance of others. You sat on the floor uncomfortably, watching the two of them almost eat each other’s faces. For a second, you caught a sight of Ellie who shared mutual feelings till the moment she spotted you. Disgust was replaced with concern before you turned away. 
For some reason, the bottle never pointed at you, much to Obie’s obvious disgruntlement. Must have been a blessing in disguise that saved you from one of his vicious tasks. Ellie, on the other hand, wasn’t as lucky as you. And whenever the bottle stopped at her, Obie happened to be the one choosing the tasks. The second time she was dared, he ordered her to answers how many of her girl-friends she had kissed to which she replied by taking off her other shoe.
By the time the clock turned twelve, Ellie ended up totally barefoot, losing even her socks. You couldn’t help but wonder why did she choose to stay? Knowing how much she despised him, you thought she’d leave after that first task he came up with. But she stayed, losing pieces of her clothing as she refused to give him what he wanted. 
It couldn't even be more embarrassing for you. Another two tasks ended up being somehow connected to your and Ellie’s relationship. You hated yourself for how much you told him about the two of you as it has become the perfect weapon for him to use. Making this whole night an unbearable experience for the both of you, but mostly Ellie. Who got the worst of it. 
Eventually, he ran out of ideas. So when Jesse proposed to play seven minutes in heaven — right after Ellie got most of her belongings back, he couldn’t be more pleased with that offer. Obie as per usual, had to have his own rules. He declared to be the one choosing the couples to go into his pantry. Knowing how much he was enjoying the situation, you expected the worst outcome. 
You sighed, looked right at him, sitting in the middle of the sofa, looking around to find his next target. The second his eyes landed on you, there wasn’t any pleasing result coming out of this. 
“How about you, Y/N?” he asked, fake sympathy in his voice. “I feel like you’ve been pretty neglected tonight,” he mentioned, eyes pointing at Ellie. 
You knew she was looking at you, but didn’t dare to assure yourself of that assumption. 
“How about we spin the bottle to find your—“ he didn’t even finish his sentence. 
Especially the second Ellie grabbed your hand and pull you up with her, forcing you to almost trip over your own feet. 
“No need for that,” she mumbled, not even bothering to look at him. 
Instead of that, she dragged out through to hallway, right into his kitchen. Letting the anger bubble up.
“Could you slow down?” you uttered, trying to stop Ellie. 
Though she heard you, she didn’t bother to obey. Once she reached the pantry, she opened the door and pushed you in, her hand still holding yours. 
“You do realise you could’ve just closed the kitchen door? We didn’t have to be stuck in here,” you whispered. “It’s not like he is going to get his ass out there to check it out.” 
There wasn’t even the slightest concern towards your words. Instead of that she dropped your hand, taking a step closer to you, not leaving you any room for potential disagreement. Instead of that, she filled every inch of your comfort zone with her presence, grabbed your cheeks and pressed her lips against yours. 
Without a single warning. 
It lasted a second. A second that still managed to make it feel like a lifetime. A second that brought up all those memories from that night. That night that caused the two of you to grow apart.
It was shortly after Ellie called it quits with Cat. That evening you were at Joel’s house. You and Jesse offered to help move around some furniture in his living room and ended up having a dinner with him, Tommy and Maria. And, surprisingly, Ellie showed up. Overwhelmed with everything that happened over the past few days, she decided to accept Joel’s offer to join. She initially went there for new patrol schedule Maria left at his place. But once she saw you there, she couldn’t leave. 
It was for the first time in weeks that the two of you got to talk. Both of you knew you needed to sort things out, once and for all. And Joel’s dinner turned out to be the best opportunity for it. You spent the whole dinner chatting and enjoying each other’s presence the way you used to. After that, Ellie spontaneously offered you to spend a night at her place, reviving one your oldest traditions. 
“I didn’t bring my stuff with me,” you laughed while you were standing on Joel’s back porch. 
“That didn’t stop you before,” she grinned. “I can lend you my space t-shirt.” 
Your eyes lightened. Ellie’s space t-shirt was a piece of clothing that you absolutely adored. Blue shirt with solar system that Ellie found in one of the stores nearby during one of your patrols. Both of you had your eyes on it and she offered to sort the true winner with a game. So you rock-paper-scissored it and Ellie won. Though you were still convinced she was cheating which was why she never lent it to you. 
“You mean the one I rightfully deserve?”
“Since when?” she mumbled sarcastically. “Are you gonna mention that—“
“That you cheated? Yes, I will,” you laughed. “Ellie you had paper and changed it to scissors in the last minute—“
“If I lend you that t-shirt, will you finally shut up about it?” she stopped you by stepping closer, smile dancing on her lips. 
An hour later you were sitting on Ellie’s bed. You decided to watch one of her all time favourite movies but just after twenty minutes in, Ellie confessed she broke things off with Cat. Out of nowhere, she spilled it, forcing you to stop the movie and take a proper look at her. She explained you how this was the right call and she’s okay — because that’s what you wanted to know in the first place. If she was alright. 
The two of you weren’t the most affectionate kind of friends but you couldn’t help this time. You moved closer, crossing to her part of the bed and leaned closer. Whispering a quiet sorry you pulled Ellie into a hug, knowing damn well you should’ve kept your distance considering your own unresolved feelings towards that auburn haired girl. 
This was an exception you had to make. Her hands immediately wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer, your bodies brushing against each other. You were lying there in the darkness on Ellie’s side of the bed while her hands stayed pressed on your body parts. You felt her lingering touch on your hip and realised, now more than ever, how much you like being closer to her, physically. She was right behind you with her face snuggled into your neck and breath dancing on your skin, sending shivers down your spine. 
You knew this wasn’t what friends were supposed to do. Yet there wasn’t a single bone in your body that would pull away from this. You slowly closed your eyes, trying to keep this memory of the two of you in your mind. 
When Ellie broke off the silence. 
“I saw you around town with Obie,” she whispered. “Jesse said that you guys are dating.” 
The last thing you wanted to talk about was Obie. Obie who served as your form of escape from your feelings towards Ellie. 
“We went out a few times, it’s fresh,” you mumbled, noticing the grip around your waist has loosened. 
Cold sweat covered your body. You didn’t want to lose her, in any way. Physically or mentally. 
“I don’t know if we’re dating. Nor if I want to,” you whispered. 
“Why’d say that?” Ellie wondered. 
“Let’s just say the first kiss wasn’t something I’d want to repeat,” you uttered, hearing Ellie’s muffled laugh. 
You turned around, curious to see her reaction. A grin pictured on her face was enough for you to roll your eyes. 
“I knew he was a bad kisser,” she grinned.
You laughed sarcastically. “How the hell would you know that?” 
“Because he’s a guy,” she shrugged her shoulders. “Guys are not good at kissing. At least not as good as me.” 
“Alright, Ms. Pretentious,” you shook your head, still laughing. “I think Dina would disagree with that statement.”  
“That’s because she never kissed me,” Ellie winked at you.
A second later, the two of you burst into laughter. 
“Poor Dina then,” you mumbled, wiping away your tears dramatically. “Poor me. If only I had kissed you before I had that horrendous first kiss—“
“Wait,” she stopped you. “It was your first kiss?” that pure shock in her voice confused you. 
“Yeah, I just told you that my first kissed sucked,” you laughed. 
“But I thought you meant first kiss with him,” she shook her head. “Not that it was your first first kiss.” 
Silence settled across the room once again. 
“Man, that really ruined the whole mood,” she mumbled. 
Unbelievable gasp left your mouth. You reached for the pillow underneath you, hitting Ellie in the face. 
“Hey!” she grabbed the pillow, laughing. “It’s not my fault you have poor taste in men.” 
“Fuck you,” you frowned, turning your back at her.
Ellie’s hand touched your shoulder as she tried to turn you around. 
“C’mon, Y/N,” she chuckled. “It was a joke.” 
“If I have a poor taste in men, then you surely have a poor sense of humour.” 
She giggled, enjoying the situation. She gave it a few tries to force you to look at her but ended up lying down next to you, defeated. 
“Let me make it up to you,” she whispered, catching your attention. 
It was the curiousness that led you to turn to her face, just a few inches away from yours. The closeness between your faces was driving you crazy. Adrenalin was running through your veins the second her hot breath brushed against your lips. You tried more than ever to keep your shit together while looking into her eyes. 
“How?” you dared to ask. 
“By giving you the kind of first kiss you deserve.” 
You heart skipped a beat. 
Now more than ever, you had to hold it together. 
“I already had that one,” you whispered. 
“Yeah well, how about I give you mine as well,” she moved closer, devilish grin settling on her face. “Then, you can decide which one was better.” 
You’d be foolish to have any sort of objections. Considering the fact how much you wished for her to be your first kiss. How much you wished for her to look at you the way she used to look at Cat. How much you wanted Ellie to love you. The way you loved her. 
That tension was undeniable. Ellie slowly leaned closer to your face, the tips of your noses almost touching. She was observing every single detail of your appearance, not rushing anywhere. Even the smallest birthmark seemed interesting enough for her at this moment. You’ve never felt so vulnerable. So loved as you did the moment her lips met with yours, causing an immeasurable amount of arousal explode in your body. 
Understanding the fact that it was your first, proper kiss, she tried her best to make you feel as comfortable as possible. You always knew she was much more experienced than you which, in the end, made you feel better. Feeling that gentle touch of hers, feel her lips moving against yours. Whatever your idea was it wasn’t half as good as the reality. Reality that dawned on you the moment she pulled away. 
Still staying closer, she licked her bottom lip, letting that devilish grin back. 
“So?” she asked, already sensing what answer she’s getting. “Which one of your first kisses turned out to be better?” 
And you wanted to get back at her so badly. 
“Tough call,” you confessed.
Your words brought sudden confusion to her eyes. 
Didn’t take her long to realise what you were up to. 
“Tough call, you say?” she repeated your words, starting to close the distance, again. “Think I need another try to show you who’s the obvious winner.” 
“I think you do.” 
This time, she wasn’t holding back. Within seconds, she was sweeping her tongue between your lips, forcing a quiet moan to leave your mouth. She smiled to herself, grabbing both of your cheeks to pull you closer and deepen the kiss. You couldn’t describe any of those feelings running through your veins. A wave of arousal exploded in your body every time her tongue brushed against yours. More than anything, you were craving Ellie. Craving her touch, craving her kisses. 
One kiss turned into another and before you knew it, you were sitting right on top of her, passionately kissing her while her hands were discovering the unknown places of your skin. That night you lost almost all your boundaries. Nothing would’ve stopped you from reciprocating every single kiss of hers. Shortly before sunrise, you fell asleep with Ellie tight grip around your waist and her lips tracking every inch of your neck. 
Hoping this feeling of euphoria would last forever. 
That, of course, required Ellie not to disappear in the morning. When you woke up, shortly after eleven, Ellie’s side of the bed was empty. Not leaving a single note behind, she took off. As the yesterday's remorse was slowly taking its rightful spot, you grabbed your belongings and left her house. You were supposed to see Obie that night as the two of you planned to have another date yet it seemed as Ellie’s presence wasn’t leaving your mind anytime soon. 
As well as the unknown reason as for why she ghosted you. Though, you can’t say that your actions would be telling a different story. Not knowing how to face what you did, you accepted the same kind of tactic — pretending as if it never happened. Which, turned to an absolute nightmare. You knew doing what you did that night would’ve hurt you. But you didn’t expect that amount of madness to take over your mind. 
Every time you were patrolling together in deadly silence, you thought of that night. You thought of her lips finding their way to yours. You thought of her lingering touch sending shivers down your spine. You were screwed, more than ever. 
Especially once she stated that it was just a friendly thing. It was your first actual conversation since that night when Ellie proposed the two of you should not make a big deal out of it. A sentence that swiftly managed to break your heart and drive you right into Obie’s arms. Her words crushed you but more than that you wondered if that’s all you ever were for her. Just a friend. 
Now she was standing right in front of you, pulling her lips away from yours. 
And all of those feelings inside you were ready to explode. 
“What the fuck was that?!” 
You didn’t even bother to keep your voice down. You pushed her away, anger rising within you. 
“What do you mean?” she whispered, properly taken aback by your reaction. 
“What do you mean?” you repeated after her. “What do you think, Ellie?” 
“Alright, now I’m confused,” she admitted. “I thought that you—“
“You thought what? That you had a right to do this?” you shook your head. 
“Well, considering the look your were giving me while your fucking boyfriend was sitting a feet away—“
“Excuse me?!” you were losing all your temper. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Ellie?” 
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” she couldn’t help but laugh. 
“You didn’t have one nice word for me this morning on patrol and suddenly you feel an urge to kiss me?”
You couldn’t believe how lightly she was taking this whole situation. 
“Thought I could win back my socks.” 
That was all you needed to reach for the doorknob. 
“I’m done—“
“No, no, no! Y/N, wait!” Ellie jumped right in front of you, forbidding you from leaving. 
You didn’t want to look into her eyes but just like any other case — no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t resist. 
“I’m sorry,” she whispered — honesty in her voice.
There it was, the guilt in her eyes. 
“I’m sorry. Fuck, it was a joke,” she mumbled, all nervous. “Please, stay.” 
And you realised, this might be the only opportunity for you, to sort things out. 
So you took a step back and leaned against one of the cupboards. Giving it all one last shot. 
Ellie eased up a bit, most likely rethinking all of her previous statements. For a second, it was quiet. With her, immersed in her thoughts and you — trying to find the right approach to this. 
“Is it all a joke to you?” you whispered, wondering out loud. 
Your words forced her to look into your eyes, facing her crimes. 
“This, me and you, us. The kiss.” 
Her eyes lightened up like the stars. 
“Was it all a joke to you, Ellie?” 
And then faded away.  
“I don’t know whether you care or not but it was never a joke to me—“
“Then why were you with Obie?” she interrupted you. “If it wasn’t a joke, why did you went out with him that night? The night after I kissed you?” 
There was pain her voice, though she took a mighty effort to cover that. She did it most of the time. Ellie always struggled with her vulnerability — mostly not knowing how to handle it properly. But you could always see right through her and she knew it. 
“Why are you with him now, Y/N? When he’s acting like an absolute piece of shit—“
“Like you should be the one talking,” you mumbled sarcastically. 
Hitting the right spot. 
Ellie’s eyes widened over that sentence, not even trying to hide her pain this time. 
Which you realised, just two seconds later and let out a frustrated sigh. 
“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. It’s my fault he’s taking out all his anger on you.”
“I doubt that,” Ellie chucked quietly. “He was never a big fan of mine, if you haven’t noticed.” 
You caught the weird vibe from them but paid no mind. Looking back, maybe you should have. 
“I heard you two had a falling out last night,” you admitted, drawing even more of Ellie’s attention. “He didn’t told me. Jesse did.” 
You answered the implied question. 
“And did he tell you what was the reason?” Ellie asked carefully. 
There wasn’t need to bring up what you knew from Jesse. You wanted to know the truth, directly from her — that’s why you shook your head, giving her an opportunity to speak up. 
“I never really cared for him, until the two of you started dating,” she avowed. “I picked up on his hostility towards me pretty soon but until yesterday, I didn’t realised how much he despised me. I didn’t even want to go out, but Dina insisted. I wanted to leave as soon as I saw him. He had a lot to say. Mostly giving me shit for making you feel so miserable. He made it very clear you’re not available.” 
“For who?” 
“For me,” she said softly. “He told me to stay the fuck away from you, to which I asked him if he finally managed to improve his kissing skills.” 
Maybe it was the result of everything that happened today or a pure madness that forced you to absolutely lose it over that statement. Either way, it took one look into each other’s eyes for both of you to burst out in laughter. 
For a split of second, all the tension was gone. Once it again, it felt so easy. So simple. Like those endless nights in her little shed. 
“You’re such an idiot,” you mumbled between laughs. 
She felt relief, seeing a smile appear on your face — even more, knowing she was the reason. 
“He’s an idiot,” she replied with a grin on her lips. “After that, the only thing he could do was call me a slur and I sorta lost it—“
“And nearly broke his nose?” you finished her sentence. “Heard that part.” 
Ellie gave you a fleeting smile before she looked away, hypnotising her black sneakers. 
“Well, me and that idiot broke up,” you confessed, seeing her eyes lighten up once again. “And the only reason I went out with him that night was because I thought you didn’t want me. Not the way I wanted you. I figured that was probably why you disappeared without a single world — wanting to avoid the awkward outcome.” 
Now, she was the one in loss for words. 
“I'm sorry about what he called you at Seth's,” you whispered. “And I’m sorry for what he did tonight.” 
“He just saw the opportunity and he took it. It doesn’t matter,” Ellie shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Y/N. It never was.” 
“I know, but still—“
“Y/N, shut up, I’m serious,” she laughed. “Stop being such a people pleaser.” 
You felt slightly offended over that statement and she noticed. Just two seconds later, as soon as she saw the look in your eyes. 
“I didn’t—“ she whispered. “I didn’t mean it like that.” 
You nodded quietly, still glancing at the tips of your sneakers. 
“Fuck,” she cursed under her breath, rubbing her cheeks.
There it was again, the silence. And for a minute you thought that maybe this was to closure you were longing for. Just for a minute. 
“Do you wanna get out of here?” 
Before she spoke again. 
“We probably already waisted our seven minutes, so…“
“No, dumbass, I meant—“
“Seriously?” you stopped her, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. 
She clenched her fits, taking a deep breath. 
“Y/N,” she whispered, “I meant get out of this house. I’ve had enough of stupid games and jealous boyfriends for one evening. Let me take you the hell out of this place. And fix this night while I still can.” 
She was a feet away from you, but you could still see that glimpse of desire glancing in her green eyes. And no matter how much you tried, Ellie was too hard to resist. Especially in this moment. 
A to be completely honest, you weren’t particularly keen on the idea of going back to the living room and face Obie and his bizarre vendetta tricks. A part of you already regretted going here in the first place — just a part, the rest was glad for that choice since it brought you and Ellie back together.
Ellie, whose hand was currently holding yours while she was trying to quietly sneak you out. She reached for her jacket on the hanger in the hall before she grabbed the doorknob and pulled you both out of that haunted house. Just as you crossed the doorstep, you thought of Jesse. 
If it wasn’t for him and his impolite barging in, you and Ellie might never had this conversation. You could’ve gone home. Never knowing that you could’ve found an answer. And a solution. There was a guilt in you, for not saying goodbye to him — you felt like you owed him that. 
But within seconds, you forgot about all of them. Because the only thing you could possibly think of was her. Ellie, whose hand was still holding yours as you were walking down the streets of Jackson town. You wondered if she did intentionally or simply paid no mind. You didn’t dare to ask or have any sort of objections — you were enjoying it more than you probably should. 
There it was again, that feeling of simplicity. Hand in hand in the middle of the night, you thought of all those walks you and Ellie used to take. From time to time, when the two of you had a sleepover at her house and one of you couldn’t fall asleep, you’d took the flashlight and go out. Occasionally, you even traded the streets of Jackson for the world behind the gates. 
Though, you were always very careful. You were aware of the growing tension between Ellie and Joel and knew that if one of Maria’s patrol men saw the two of you outside, they would certainly bother to share this information with him — causing Ellie even more trouble that she already had. 
That’s why you mostly took midnight walks around her small neighbourhood. Sometimes even till the sunrise. Sometimes you spent hours talking, the other days you chose the enjoy each other’s presence in silence. And when Joel and Ellie stopped talking, you took these walks nearly every day. 
You knew Ellie had nightmares. The bags under her eyes, the sadness in her face — you saw it every morning on patrol. And then she showed up at your house, at three fifteen in the morning, all sweaty and shaking. You walked around yours this time. You held her hand and kept talking. About everything that could keep her mind off that. That could keep those nightmares away. 
You always took her back home. Tucked her in and sat at the edge of her bed till she fell asleep. Waited an hour to make sure those nightmares were not coming back. Only then you would go back to your place — after you knew that she was going to be alright. After you knew she was safe. 
Ellie had a special place in your heart. And there was nothing in the world that could chance that. 
No matter what happened between the two of you. She was sitting next to you right now, on the stairs of Joel’s back porch and you knew that if she got one of those nightmares again, you wouldn’t leave. You would stay there and hold her hand till she falls asleep.
“So this was your idea of fixing the night?” you asked, squeezing the beer bottle in your hand. 
She brought you into her backyard, sneaked into Joel’s house and stole two beers from his fridge. 
“How is this any different from sitting at Obie's porch?” 
“That dick you dated is not here, that’a first bonus,” she grinned. 
“And where’s the rest?” 
Ellie couldn’t help but chuckle. 
“You're really hard to please,” she laughed. “I wanted to spend time with you without risking any of those douchebags barging in.” 
“You didn’t seem to care about that when you kissed me.” 
That was a risky move. 
Ellie put the beer bottle down, taking a deep breath. 
“We don’t have to talk about that,” you whispered. “Again.” 
Though you wanted it. You wanted it so badly. To get a clear answer from her, once and for all. 
“I wanted to kiss you.”
There it was. 
“In the living room, in front of him. After what he said, a part of me wanted to just shove it down his throat. Get that fucking grin off of his face.” 
In all honesty, you struggled to pay attention to the rest of her speech after you heard the first sentence. 
“But it wasn’t worth using you. I didn’t want you to think I kissed you, because I wanted to prove a point.” 
You nearly got it.
“Then why did you want to kiss me?”
For a second, she looked into your eyes. “You know why.” 
Nearly. 
“No, Ellie. I don’t,” you whispered. “You might be surprised, but I have no idea why you do what you do. Because you never give me a clear answer—“ 
Not even bothering to let you finish your frustrated statement, she closed all the space left between the two of you and smacked her lips onto yours. 
“If you’re gonna say that this is a clear answer, Ellie, I swear to God—“
“I wanted to do this the night I saw you in Joel’s dinning room. And morning after that, when I saw you sleeping on the other side of my bed. And then again, every single time I saw you walking around the town with him," she admitted. "It was driving me crazy, because I loved you, Y/N. I love you so much. And that’s the first and foremost reason as for what I did this. Today or any other day.” 
Almost there. 
“Then why did you leave?” you whispered the only thing on your mind. The one thing that’s been bothering you for weeks. 
“Because I panicked,” she confessed. “I went out because I needed to clear my head — I didn’t know where we stand, where you and Obie stand. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should go back and if so — what to say. And when I saw you that night with him, I figured. Or at least I thought I did — until tonight.”
“You could’ve just ask me!—“
“And then what?” she interrupted you. “Was I supposed to beg you to break up with him? I felt like a selfish asshole just thinking about it.”  
And then it all got to you. Weeks of avoidance, days of sleepless nights when the thought of her didn’t seem to leave your mind. The anger and frustration that you subconsciously tried to bottle up exploded. 
Right into her face.
“You're such an idiot!” you bursted out. “Oh my god!” 
It was safe to say that this wasn’t the kind of answer Ellie was hoping for after opening up to you. Hell, this was nowhere near what she was expecting. That sort of reaction caught her off guard — that was for sure. At least according to that confusion that appeared in her eyes, leaving her in an absolute loss for words for nearly twenty seconds. 
“Excuse me?” she frowned.
“This was the moment you chose not to be selfish? You’re such a dick, Ellie!” 
In your defence, you didn’t give yourself much time to rethink those words before they left your mouth — in fact, none. The ire got the best of you, it definitely wasn’t your finest moment. Though, no one would probably dare to blame you. 
“You knew I was with him because—“
“Well, I know it now!” she mumbled sarcastically. “This is so fucking stupid.”
“Tell me about it.” 
Every time you felt like you could finally reach the end, another obstacle emerged. The frustration felt never-ending. As if the two of you were walking in circles — again and again. Till one of you finally decides to make it stop. 
“You wanna know where we stand? Well, so do I. And we’re never gonna get there if we’ll keep pointing fingers at each other,” you expressed. 
“You’re the one calling me names.” 
There it was again, the sarcasm. She was making difficult for you to stay patient. 
“Ellie!—“
“Just wait here,” whispered and within seconds, got on her feet and headed towards her little house. 
You obeyed, most due that confusion caused by her sudden resolute action. You stayed there, sitting on Joel’s cold stairs, replaying the events of tonight in your mind, till she hove into view again — this time with a piece of clothing in her hand. 
That landed in your lap as soon as she sat down next you.
“Is that…” you stopped to take a better look at it. 
Crumpled blue fabric that was slowly fading. Yet the solar system was still quite visible — enough for you be taken aback and pause for a second to process that. You needed a few seconds.
“The space t-shirt.” 
You looked into her eyes, determined to find the answer. 
“Why are you giving this to me?” 
Why here? Why now? 
There was way too many questions running through your head.
“I listened to you and I’m choosing a better moment for my unselfishness,” she replied softly. “I also might have considered that strange theory of yours…“
“Pardon me? It’s not a strange theory. I was the rightful winner from the beginning—“
“Yes you were,” Ellie admitted, nodding with a smile on her lips. 
Which caught you by surprise. The look in her eyes, the spark shinning again.
“And I’m sorry it took me so long to realise that.” 
Finally. 
“It was yours from the beginning. And if I wasn’t so stubborn and overthinking everything, it could’ve been yours long time ago. I wanted nothing more than that.” 
“I really hope we’re not talking about the t-shirt anymore.” 
All the seriousness she was building up disappeared the second those words left your mouth.
“I was trying to be romantic!” Ellie mumbled between laughs. “You’re such an idiot, Y/N.”
“Romantic my ass! That’s the second time you called me an idiot today!” 
“Because that’s who you are,” she whispered, devilish grin on her face. 
You couldn’t help but to roll your eyes, annoyed.
“Seriously, this is the worst attempt—“
“But you’re my idiot,” she leaned to you, closing the space once again. 
Again and again until her hands reached your cheeks as she pulled you closer, deepening the kiss. 
“Unless you don’t want to be,” she whispered into your lips. “My idiot.” 
“Ellie, it took you weeks to say this, are we sure I’m the idiot here?” 
She saw the sneer on your face. 
“Shut up,” she chuckled, pecking your lips. “I love you. Is that good enough for you?” 
“We’ll see. Do you have any better, less degrading nicknames for me?” you mumbled sarcastically. 
You felt her breath dancing on your cold cheeks as she slowly leaned in, ready to kiss you again. “Wanna find out?” 
252 notes · View notes
cosmoss-express · 11 months ago
Text
Astro observations (part 2)
!DO NOT STEAL, CHANGE OR COPY! THIS POST IS PROTECTED AND I'LL SHOW UP AS YOUR SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON!
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🥀 People with Leo Mercury (especially retrograde) folks are the type to have stage fright before any big performance/presentation/exam to the point where they're feeling sick and trembling like a leaf in the autumn wind, then still manage to nail it yet have no idea how it happened
kinda like they just black out and get possessed by a demon or smth, like, they don't even know how they nailed themselves
🥀 Lilith on the 4th house can make you rebel and negate your own roots (could be a good or a bad thing based on how you grew up) OR your childhood was centered around chaotic Lilith-type-individuals who didn't really understood how badly their actions affected you (since the 4th house also represents early home life) and "healthy family dynamics" is a very distant concept to you
🥀 Sun conjunct Saturn in synastry can make friendships/relationships last a long time but the Saturn person can have a hard time getting out their routine and be too rigid with the Sun, in turn the Sun person can grow feelings of envy and resentment over Saturn's social status and possessions. They could stick together for the good moments they shared together even if the connection doesn't bring them joy anymore
Even if they separate, the two still feel connected to each other somehow
🥀 With harmonious Moon/Aphrodite (1388) aspects the native's mom could've focused heavily on her looks; the native could be hyperfeminine and find comfort and peace in being surrounded by beauty
🥀 Istg every Libra I've met gets excited around fire signs. Every time I see interactions between them, the world around them just disappears lol
🥀 Moon dominant women, how painful are your periods? I'm trying to see whether the moon hates us or not
🥀 Venus-Neptune/Pluto aspects in the natal can make people feel drawn towards you unconsciously, bringing in a lot of (often) secret admirers since Pluto's influence pulls people in but also scares them to death lol
I have Venus trine Pluto and every time I talk to people, especially men, I literally cross my fingers and pray they're not a psycho rip 💀💀💀
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🥀 Aries/Mars in the 8th natives are BIG into horror, thrillers, anything that involves blood and gore scenes. The downside is that these individuals could face a violent death and could have faced actual real life violence
🥀 Uranus in the 8th could experience chaotic high highs and low lows when it comes to money. During transits, the native could receive money unexpectedly, win the lottery or go bankrupt. Uranus is literally the Russian Roulette of the Solar system
🥀 People with prominent Leo placements or Sun conjunct ASC, will be put into situations where they WILL STAND OUT one way or another. Leos do get attention and can be attention seeking. But most of the attention they get just gravitates towards them naturally (I hope that makes sense)
Story time: When I was in 1st grade, my parents couldn't afford a school uniform by the time school started (here it's mandatory to wear one) and I went on the first day in a DARK RED pullover and BLACK pants. Guess who stood out the most in the class picture full of little girls dressed in WHITE-BLUE uniforms? My teeny tiny Leo stelluim self ✨✨✨
🥀 Gemini and Libra men are more self-centered than Leo men.......I said what I said
🥀 Aquarius culture is being friends with a lot of people, yet only ONE person knows all your tea, or NONE at all
🥀 Mars + Moon in the 1st folks CAN'T 👏🏻 STAY 👏🏻 F*CKING 👏🏻 STILL. They always need to do something to let that energy out otherwise they start bottling that in and it turns into frustration.
🥀 Mars+ Moon in synastry = biting your s/o because they're so cute ❤❤❤
🥀 Cancer+Virgo+Libra placements in the natal can make someone a control freak since Cancers are all about (especially emotional) security, wanting all the signs, all the warnings before they proceed with projects and relationships while Virgos and Libras tend to try to control their surroundings and habits as much as possible, very often fearing their own judgement.
On one hand , these people are considerate, on the other they can get stuck in their minds, fully drowning in their fears. Because of this, the native might think they're lazy. Like, seriously, I want to give these people a hug 🥺🥺
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Happy Spooky Month and Scorpio season ya'll, love youuu 💖💕💕
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chocolatemilksmoothie · 6 months ago
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Any Sport in a Storm
Listen I didn't get the time to do this w the last 2 eps (even though I had a lot of thoughts and feelings believe me) but I'll do it now bc this episode was so cute? And it surprised me too! Let's see
all the coven heads ignoring him is unsurprising, tho Raine hesitating didn't escape me. even under Terra's control they seem a bit concerned
Belos being like a single working parent leaving notes on the fridge or smth
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so. the old golden guard sigil is also the Gravesfield sigil? I already had noticed it looks similar to the Emperor's coven symbol but the bird's wings are more closed. thinking...
grown witches let's stop bullying the literal teenager
"Little Prince" is the cutest nickname ever and if Darius is the closest thing Hunter will get to a mentor figure I love the idea of it going from a condescending name to an affectionate one. I love it
seems Darius and Eber are very involved in Belos plans? what are they doing
Darius knew the previous Golden Guard? He was his mentor?? There was a previous Golden Guard???
So I was wondering how or why he would be sent to Hexide, turns out it wasn't Belos idea at all. Makes sense
Willow is an absolute badass and I love her YES GIRL GO
like SHE'S SO POWERFUL god
HER DADS? awww jock nerd family!
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Luz dropping all the books really got me for some reason. my child
"spill it hermosa!"
I suspected Luz and Amity would be busy elsewhere, and really enjoyed their B plot! Theorizing just like us about the mysterious person, the answer was the simpler option
I had assumed Eda had brought the books and sold them at some point. It was smth like that but without Eda lol
Tiny Nose has a name now also? good for her
To the surprise of no one, he sucks at interacting with other kids but this is even worse than expected lmao authority! and rules!!
heck yea Jerbo fight the system!
Professor Homunculus is a big jerk. tho we already knew that
Glad our boi Hunter gets to show off a little with the flying skills, he's had a, uh, rough season. He also got attacked by Puddles
I thought Caleb was the name of the museum guy obsessed with witches but it was actually Jacob generic english man names got me confused my bad
"hm, I don't feel sick" oh you clueless child
Gus being suspicious and protective I love my son
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the Best and the Brightest I love them
Two "half-a-witch" witches huh? Loved the parallel but also ouch. Guess that's a common insult for kids who struggle with magic which is yikes
Skara tactical genius hell yeah!
"now I'm only scarred emotionally ;)" girl omg
I hope Viney and Jerbo can reconcile after this. He looked terrified lmao we take sports very serious here
I love Hunter's teleporting technique. sneaky boi
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TEAM SPORTS. TEAM SPIRIT. Hunter making friends!! and he came up with the team name! Cute and creative
"Icepack for Steve"
seems training for the emperor's coven is brutal. Yet to hunter it's whatever lmao oh boy
also one free day a year.... yikes
Darius pushing Hunter to make choices for himself let's gooo
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Boop
and he gave him a phone scroll thingy 😭 which means he can keep in touch. Typing like an old man
I hope he won't get in trouble for it but Belos is ancient af he probably thinks social media is the real dark magic so he'll never see it I guess
sewing is indeed a very helpful skill to have
so third time was the charm, after Luz then Amity tried to reach out it seems Willow and her team might be his first real friends!
what's his username I need to know
I already liked Darius as a fabulous jerk and antagonist but now I'm super interested to see more of him
also his past with Amity's dad SPILL THE TEA! bitter exes? former besties? rivals since forever? is it a one sided aggression thing? please I need it
and he follows him on social media just to scoff and mute him, petty king
obsessed with Amity and Luz showing up at the end like oh did we miss anything imporWHAT
Little Prince!!
So yeah, very cute and fun over all, and revealed more than I expected. S2 has been fantastic non stop. Glad Hunter got to have some fun bc I feel he won't for too long
oh, spoilers for the upcoming episode synopsis:
So next week we'll have Amity and Luz focus, and it seems Amity wants to impress her dad so we might get more Darius too! Show me the handsome witch again!! Not expecting to see Hunter next week but maybe more Willow and Gus. I love them. I do hope we keep seeing the Emeralds hanging out in the future as a club and having practice and playing matches, idk. also show them talking w hunter through the scrolls? it'd be cute
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anakinskywalkerog · 2 months ago
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My Very Soul (Chapter 9)
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Anakin Skywalker x Jedi!Reader
Link to Chapter 8
Warnings: angst. sry bout this, I'm just feeling a lil bit sad and I wanted to give their reunion more umph lol
Summary: short and sweet; like ships passing in the night; sad bebs
Word Count: 3.3k (lol me: wow this is so short, also me: unable to write short)
Anakin paced the ship's hull, back and forth, feeling the need to get this energy out of him, unable to sit still. The ship whined beneath his feet, and he mentally urged it to go faster, to move through hyperspace more quickly. He didn't care that he was eager. He didn't care about anything, other than getting back to Coruscant.
       It had been a brutal eight months in the Outer Rim territories, a period in which he and Obi-Wan had gotten themselves into and out of many scrapes. They were keeping the peace, he thought dryly, and collecting intel for the Republic—worthy causes, of course, but he had been away from Coruscant for his longest period yet, and he was anxious to get back to the Temple.
       "Anakin, you're giving me a migraine," Obi-Wan said casually, sitting in the main hull and reading his holopad. Anakin continued his pacing.
       "Are we close?" Anakin asked, looking out the viewport at the blue of hyperspace, as if he would be able to tell by some landmark where they were in the universe.
       "Patience, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, not looking up from his reading. Anakin ignored him, continuing to walk back and forth. He didn't try to hide his anxiety from Obi-Wan. The last time Anakin had seen you, you'd been half-beaten, with dark circles under your eyes and stitches in the back of your head. Still, you'd looked perfect, sitting there in that medical bay, on a ship very similar to this one, looking at him through those very perfect eyes, lidded by perfect lashes, your perfect Force presence emanating around you. Anakin swallowed. Why hadn't he just come out and said it, then? He had been so close to telling you, so close to revealing his heart. Why had he stopped himself?
       Anakin could never have known that he would be gone this long, of course, but there had not been one evening in the last eight months where he hadn't thought of you. Every time he thought he would get to return, to see you again, he and Obi-Wan were sent to a different star system. Anakin saw your face every time he closed his eyes, remembered the feeling of your hand in his, the feeling of you watching him, your eyes glazing over, as if his presence calmed you. He thought of you every morning when he ate. Every type of cloud on every new planet seemed to remind him of you. He yearned to be back in your presence, just for a moment, just to get to see your face. Anakin had been so used to being assigned to missions with you and Master Yuma, he thought it might always be the four of you, working together. Why had he and Obi-Wan been away for so long? It didn't seem fair.
       They had had no news of you or Master Yuma from the council, no news of anyone, really, just updates that pertained to the general status of Republic affairs. And this was protocol, of course—Jedi were not meant to form attachments, and so asking the council for news of you, a Padawan who held very little importance to them, would have been completely inappropriate. Still, Anakin had asked Obi-Wan, again and again, after every transmission, after every briefing, if there had been any word, any news, any mention of where you might be, of what you might be doing. Obi-Wan was tiring of Anakin's persistence, but he had reminded his Padawan that no news was likely good news. If a Jedi had been killed, they certainly would have heard of it. Anakin knew this was true, and he was certain that you were absolutely fine—more than fine. You were flawless. You were likely healed of all of your wounds, of course, likely growing stronger in the Force, practicing your sparring, working toward your Knighthood. This knowledge did nothing to assuage Anakin's anxiety now, as his ship zoomed closer to you.
       What had you thought about everything that had happened on Hoth? Anakin had never gotten to ask you, had never even gotten to watch you heal from your injuries. What had it meant to you, that Anakin had held your hand the way he did? Had it meant anything at all?
       "Anakin, you're sweating. Relax," Obi-Wan said, finally putting his holopad down and looking at his Padawan with concern.
       "What am I going to say to her?" Anakin asked, his hands shaking, his eyes wide with longing.
       "I'd start with hello," Obi-Wan said, an amused expression crossing his face. Anakin felt his features fall into a pout. He resumed his pacing. They were almost there.
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You breathed in, trying to expel any thought from your body, working to let the Force move through you.
       The meditation room was quiet; your limbs were folded perfectly, your back straight; the meditation ottoman was soft and comfortable; the blinds were drawn. The conditions were perfect. There was no reason for you to be distracted. Still, you somehow felt restless. Your body seemed to have a twitch, today, seemed to feel the need to move, to shake out these nervous feelings. You couldn't trace their origin, but for whatever reason, you could not get rid of your thoughts.
       Your mind moved, as it often did, to Anakin, and you scrunched your face in concentration. When meditating, you were taught to let thoughts come and go, as if a thought were a bird that flew through your mind, stopping in only for a moment before it again took flight. The Anakin bird, however, seemed to have made its home in your mind. Every time this particular thought returned, it brought more supplies, making its nest larger and larger, and now it seemed to own the place. You sighed.
       If you could not expel the thought, you had decided, and if it would not simply pass out of your brain, you could redirect it. You missed Anakin—that much was clear. He popped into your head so often, now, that you had worked hard to change this particular thought, to use it to your advantage, to make sure that it was aligned with your true and higher purpose.
       You wanted, more than anything, to become a Jedi. And not just any Jedi—you wanted to hone your talents. You wanted to be the best warrior, the most skilled swordswoman, completely one with the Force, like Master Yoda, like your own Master. Good Jedi did not form attachments, you reminded yourself, and so any thoughts that might lead you down a road you did not want to follow must be banished from your mind. You steeled yourself, keeping still in your meditation posture. You would not allow yourself to be taken off the path that was meant for you. You would not allow Anakin to distract you from your goal.
       You felt her presence before she entered, as you so often did. It was difficult to surprise you, especially now that you had grown in your power, motivated, as you were, by the dark forces you had encountered on Hoth. You kept your eyes closed, but acknowledged this presence, greeting your Master through the Force.
"You seem troubled," Master Yuma said, coming to sit on the meditation ottoman next to the one on which you perched.
       "No, not troubled, exactly," you told her honestly, breathing deeply.
       "Conflicted, then," she corrected, her gaze searching you, looking you over, feeling your presence intimately in the way that only she could.
       "No," you answered, opening your eyes. You looked at Master Yuma, watching each other. Communicating with your Master was very different from communicating with other people, especially now that your power had grown to such a degree. When you communicated with others, you had more of an advantage—you could read more in them than they could in you. With your Master, though, you both read through each other's thoughts, your Master's emotional impressions coloring your mind, and your own emotions likely coloring hers. Oftentimes, the two of you didn't need words to converse.
"I don't think it's that simple," Master Yuma said thoughtfully, responding to something she had felt in your presence. You frowned.
"It has to be. Attachment is against the rules, and at some point, a choice has to be made," you said calmly, looking your Master in the eye. "I've made mine."
       "A good Jedi must keep her mind open," Master Yuma told you, meeting the intensity of your gaze with just as much strength, "to possibilities. Other options, paths that exist but are not visible in the current moment." Master Yuma sighed, looking at your set jaw, your lowered eyebrows, feeling how much effort you were making to hold to this conviction, through the Force. "It is impossible, now, to see what the future may bring. I ask you only to let your mind open, to let the thoughts, feelings, and other temporary matter flow through it. Remember, my child," Master Yuma said affectionately, "that you are but the river bank. Let the water roll over you. Don't try to change its direction, or fight its current. Let it flow."
       Your eyes filled with tears. Master Yuma had not called you my child in quite some time. This affection disarmed you, melted your resolve, got in the way of your desire to hold certain feelings of yours at bay. You broke your pose, climbed off of the meditation ottoman, and sank yourself down next to your Master, laying your head on her shoulder.
       "We have another assignment," Master Yuma said, using her fingers to run through your hair, pulling it away from your face gently. "I came in here to retrieve you. We're leaving." Master Yuma brushed the tears from your cheeks.
       "Yes, Master," you said, letting yourself melt into her, letting your pretense, your ego fall away.
       "All will reveal itself in time," Master Yuma told you, kissing your head. "Don't fret."
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You sat the cockpit of the ship, next to your Master, ready to assume the position of co-pilot. You watched Coruscant beneath you as you adjusted the necessary controls, causing the ship to take off into the sky. You felt the ship moving through the air, and you sighed, letting go of a part of yourself, leaving it behind on Coruscant. To do your duty, you must let go of your own desire, learn to be selfless, one with the light side of the Force. You felt a current in the air, and looked over to Master Yuma, confused. She looked back at you, assuming an innocent expression. Could she not feel it? The current grew stronger as the ship took off. You looked out the viewport, out at the city planet, and you saw nothing but ships passing by, headed back toward the city you were leaving. You felt the current grow stronger. You looked out, breathing deeply. The current in the Force grew in its intensity, and as you watched another large ship pass you by, you felt the current snap, like a rubber band when pulled back. The feeling you felt as this current moved out of you was both good and bad, both pleasant and painful. It was a full feeling, a glass overflowing. It felt like longing. It felt familiar.
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Anakin stood in his room, looking the place over, his emotions in turmoil. Though he had not been back to this place in eight months, he felt no joy in being here now, looking at the sparse Padawan bed, the small room in the large dormitory that did not, for the time being, contain the one reason he'd wanted to return to Coruscant in the first place.
       It had become clear immediately upon their arrival that you and Master Yuma had been sent off on a mission earlier the very same day. If only the ship had arrived just a moment sooner, Anakin thought, torturing himself. If only time had passed a little slower this morning, Anakin could have accompanied you on your assignment.
       It would be fine, he reasoned with himself, standing at his desk, looking out his very small window. You and Master Yuma would surely be back very soon, maybe even tomorrow. Most assignments did not last months at a time. He could wait just a bit longer.
       The pain of it was tearing at his insides, his frustration threatening to pull apart his seams, but he held himself together. It was only an extra few days. It was fine. When you returned, he would be here, waiting to hear how your mission had gone, waiting to see what you might have to say to him, after all these months.
       His frustration with the Jedi Order was growing—the council's demands, the way they held such little regard for everything he had done for them, the way he and his Master were never granted a choice over where and how they spent their time, who they spent time with—the weight of his anger over the injustice of it all hovered over his head, and he worked to hold back his feelings. He wanted to be a Jedi more than he wanted anything, but he wanted to do it on his terms, in his own way. If he were on the council, if he were a Master, he would choose to do things differently. And they'd have to be okay with it—they needed him.
       Anakin heard a knock coming from the other side of the door to his room, and his heart sank in fear. The only time anyone ever came to his own personal quarters, it was—
       "May I come in?" Obi-Wan asked from the other side of the door. The fear that had entered Anakin's heart was turning quickly to fury. Anakin barely felt able to open his mouth, to form the words.
       "Yes," he sputtered, watching as his Master entered his room, facing him. Anakin was already shaking his head. "No," he whined to Obi-Wan, looking at his Master's sympathetic face, and hating every part of it, the pitying eyes, the mouth downturned in a compassionate frown, the peaceful presence emanating from his Master's being. "No, we can't go now, we can't leave again—"
       "I'm sorry, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, striding into the room and placing a gentle hand on his Padawan's shoulder. "The council has another assignment for us. The Chancellor himself requested that we go immediately. We leave in the morning."
       "No," Anakin repeated, his anger moving through him like a storm, his voice coming out as a pathetic pleading sound. He shoved Obi-Wan's hand off his shoulder. "Not now, there must be someone else they can send."
       "Jedi do not choose where they are needed most," Obi-Wan said kindly, tilting his head downward and looking up at Anakin's face, taking a submissive stance. "We must let go of our pride, and do what is requested of us."
       "No—I won't...I won't go," Anakin said, raising his voice, beginning to shake his hands, as if he were looking for something to throw, something to hit.
       "It is high time you attend to these feelings of yours, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, still keeping his eyes on his Padawan, his tone cautious. "You won't always be as young as you are now. Attachment of this kind is what prevents a Jedi from seeing clearly. You must put aside your own feelings, Anakin, in order to do your duty."
       "And for what?" Anakin scoffed, throwing his hands in the air, giving Obi-Wan a menacing smile. "So that the Senate can continue sitting around, squabbling over minor issues, doing nothing of substance? For the sake of a Republic, of a Jedi Order that no longer serves the needs of its constituents?"
       "You are speaking from the place where your anger is in control," Obi-Wan said quietly, looking Anakin over.
       "I can't help but be angry!" Anakin yelled, letting down his guard, feeling tears come into his eyes. "It's been eight months, Obi-Wan! Eight months, and she's not even here. And now we're leaving again, and we have no idea when we will return—" Anakin's voice broke, and his tears spilled, falling hot over his cheeks, his face screwed up in his resentment.
       "I sense that this show of anger is an attempt to hide what truly plagues you," Obi-Wan responded, his voice low, his tone peaceful, compassionate. Anakin wiped his tears with his sleeve, his brow furrowed, his mouth clenched in a grimace.
       "I can't...I can't live on, this way, without her presence...without her near me..." Anakin said, his voice lowering, his anger still palpable in his speech.  
       "You must not ever let your love turn into possession, Anakin," Obi-Wan said forcefully. "You must learn to place your ideals above your feelings." Anakin's face crumpled.     
       "What would you know of love?" Anakin asked, his bitterness ringing throughout the room.
       "I know enough," Obi-Wan responded softly. Anakin shook his head again. It was impossible for Obi-Wan to understand, he thought—no one had ever felt about anyone the way Anakin felt about you.
       "It's like...like I can't breathe without her. Like there's this string, reaching out into the universe, tethered to her presence, and every day I spend without her, the string tugs on my heart, squeezing tighter, causing me more pain. It's like...like trying to exist without water, or food, but those don't even begin to explain it, because what is hunger, what is thirst, compared to this feeling?! The whole of the universe is screaming her name, and I can't...I can't hear anything else, not while she and I are apart." Anakin sniffed, feeling vulnerable, feeling his anger turn to a deep sadness inside of him, a sadness he associated with home, with his mother. Obi-Wan sighed, walking over to sit on the edge of Anakin's bed.
       "This is dangerous speech, young one," Obi-Wan told him, looking at him with soft eyes. "The moment you let your love cloud over your selfhood, your life, your calling...is the moment you become vulnerable to the dark side of the Force."
       "I don't want a life," Anakin said wretchedly, "if she's not in it." Anakin sat down next to his Master, and he felt his Master return a grip to his shoulder, a bracing and comforting gesture.
       "You have much to learn, Anakin." Obi-Wan's tone was not critical, but Anakin heard in his words a sense of fear—fear of failure, or, perhaps, fear of Anakin's failure. "You've made a commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment not easily broken. Eventually, you are going to have to make a choice."
       Anakin turned to look his Master in the eye. He never wanted to fail Obi-Wan, or his teachings. The truth of the matter was that Anakin had made his choice, long ago. It was as if the choice had been made for him, as if he hadn't a hand in it at all. He wanted both: both you and the Jedi Order. He would have both. He couldn't let go of you—that much was certain. But he refused to let go of his ambitions. He knew his power far outstripped that of the other Jedi. He would become a Jedi Master. He could remake the Order, someday, make things how they should be, with you by his side.
       "Yes Master," Anakin replied. The pain of leaving this place again paled in comparison to the feeling of knowing you were out there, somewhere, perhaps strategizing, perhaps fighting, perhaps sleeping—the pain of not knowing where you were, and what you were doing, was incapacitating. Anakin swallowed it, felt it drop into his body, lodge itself there. It would not free Anakin from its grasp, he knew, until he saw you again. And he would see you again, soon. He would make sure of it.
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oof. my apologies, y'all. hope the angsty ani bbs loved this one. Chapter 10, the reunion, is out now!!!
mullet Obi for comfort:
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divider credit to @racingairplanes
taglist: @iyoogi @cluelessgurl @layazul @annadastra @graciexmarvel @galaxiasy @organasith @indigoblues1207 @outoftheregular @katsukiswrld @prettyboyrryy @jellydodger @wildflower57 @lydiamartinslover @em-asian @heavenseraph @iloveinej @leapofblank @sahverah @elsyyie @usuallyunlikelyfox @jadeonce @papadragun @dopejellyfishfury @stxrrielle @lilianashomaresparza
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sungbeam · 3 months ago
Text
𝗲𝗻𝗵𝗮 𝗮𝘀 𝗼𝗱𝗱𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗮𝘂𝘀
ot7 x reader (which one of y'all saw i put ot8 and didn't tell me >:/)
1k words, assorted headcanons
a/n: confession that i have like five more au ideas for jake ._. also this is inspired by the version i did for nct dream lol this is me cheating the system again!!
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𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚: forbidden romance! enemies to lovers! fraternizing w the enemy!
Valley kids and Summit kids aren't supposed to mix, and they always clash at their combined school called the Crossroads
You're a Summit kid who ends up stuck in the school parking lot with a dying car that only Heeseung, Valley kid and Good-With-Cars™, is willing to help you with 
It's not like either of you want to be seen with the other, but you don't exactly dislike each other, and you find that Heeseung isn't a bad person, and Heeseung finds the exact same case with you (friends? friends.)
But things are bound to fall apart, and suddenly, your shit dad's trying to set you up with some other crusty Summit boy, Heeseung's trying to juggle a crumbling family life, and both yours and Heeseung's friends want to show you two exactly why you shouldn't fraternize with the enemy
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚: stylist!au but you're the idol!
You seem to have the absolute worst luck when it comes to stylists and for some reason, your company just couldn't get a good stylist to stick
But then enter Park Jongseong, the boy that your own manager deems "the one"; after so long, you are finally impressed with someone's work, and even so, his passion shows through his work ethic
It isn't difficult to see the appealing things about him—he's handsome, a genius, hard working, compassionate; what seems at first like a fast-blooming friendship, turns into a festoon of mutual pining
Well, now it's time for your groupmates to work their magic with a little game they call matchmaking, because the best way to make two fools open their eyes is to do it for them
𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡: jake sim(p)! youtuber!au mutual pining!
Oh god, it's kind of a thing among yours and Jake's subscribers that you're both absolutely whipped for each other (but you're both too chicken and BLIND to make a move)
Literally, there are compilations of the two of you flirting and having heart eyes for each other; there was this one time where your friends were playing what are the odds on camera and somebody asked you what the odds were that you sat in Jake's lap for the rest of the game (you didn't, but Jake did end up sitting in your lap/between your legs)
Eventually, Jake's bff Hoon gets sick of it and challenges Jake to do that old trend "day # of doing ___ until they fall in love with me"; roses! cheek kisses! sly maneuvers! But then you catch onto what he's doing and decide to do the exact same thing back at him TT
Continues until literally you're both already dating, but your subscribers still don't know if you two made it official yet 
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡: he hates your bf! time to sweep you off your feet! falling in love in one night!
As mentioned, he hates your current boyfriend and how he treats you, and believed wholeheartedly that he can do better (your boyfriend hates Sunghoon back, so the feeling is mutual)
In a twist of fate, you need a ride home, and ayo, Sunghoon insists that he drive you home (you're reluctant, but you are not about to walk for 45 minutes); he makes a deal with you and treats you to one hell of a night out because he noticed you were a little stressed, something your boyfriend failed to notice
Think things like roller skating, drive-thrus, stargazing!, and against your better judgement, you both end up falling into each other (Sunghoon just falls deeper)
Seems like you've been dating the wrong boy, huh?
𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢: hairdresser!au you're his favorite client! and you just cheated on him!
You've been going to Sunoo ever since you discovered him while trying to find a trustworthy place to get your virgin hair dyed; enter Kim Sunoo! He's the cute, sunny hair genius at this hidden gem salon in your city
It's no secret that you're Sunoo's favorite client (and it's totally not because you two developed feelings for each other), and you don't trust anyone else to touch your hair
But then one day, your friends force you to accompany them to this new celebrity salon or whatever and Sunoo just happens to walk by the window when your friends have convinced you to get one tiny little trim
Fully offended, Sunoo confronts you at your next appointment and totally roasts the other dude's job on your hair, then you offer him anything to make up for betraying him; sly mfker knows exactly what he's doing when he makes you treat him to dinner after your apptment
𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡: meet cute! strangers 2 lovers! in a convenience store! but w a twist!
You have the midnight shift at a convenience store, and Jungwon comes in for a midnight snack run (ice cream or something hehe)
He ends up staying to talk to you, and comes back to keep you company night after night, until you become fast friends (and you obviously crush on each other)
The only problem is that when you both find out who the other really is, it turns out that your families hate each other because they are convinced the other sabatoged them
Your families are opposed to you both dating each other, but you and Won become determined to find a way out of this without both getting disowned (because everyone deserves their shot at a happy ending, right?)
𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜: cinderella-ish!au dance king (wbk)! power couple slay! (tw: bullying)
Niki's a dance prodigy (wbk), but everyone else at his dance academy knows it; it's not until you show up that somebody can match his talent (except, you're not rich like everyone else and everybody knows it)
Year after year, you and Niki end up getting the principle dancer parts, leaving everyone else in your dust; Niki doesn't really know you, but he greatly respects you (neither of you have really tried talking to each other yet TT)
Except, one day when you're late for practice with him, he finds out that you're being bullied really badly, and today, they started getting really physical (dragging by hair, physical abuse, etc), and Niki gets super mad at them, like really mad (as he should)
From that day forward, he becomes your closest friend and ally, always hovering close by to come to your rescue, and eventually, people start really seeing the two of you as the dance power couple 
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a/n: should i continue this w more groups? :0
enha m.list / 7dream ver.
permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @staysstrays @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @yedammi @w3bqrl @smolpeyy @otchae @rnjfy @luv4vernon
join my permanent enhypen taglist here!
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zeppazariel · 2 months ago
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heyy zar :))) just wanted to ask a couple things i’m curious abt/don’t remember if they were ever clarified in the fic.
first, do we actually know what district reg/sirius/james are from? (i don’t think you’ve ever specific and like at first i thought it might be bc like districts weren’t a super huge part of the plot but then this latest chapter u mentioned district 2 so i’m like wait do we know? are we ever gonna find out? is it even relevant to the plot? etc.)
alsoo i don’t remember how the reaping works exactly when it comes to age. what is the range that you can get reaped? bc i think in thg universe it’s like only until 18/19 but obviously james and reg and other tributes are in their twenties so i was a bit confused.
finally ik you’ve answered questions abt the length of this fic before and like how loosely related to the actual thg canon buttt i was wondering if this fic will compare to like the whole thg series in the sense that the plot will continue similar to the other books as well after the arena, or if after the first book plot you are going to deviate a lot more and not rly follow the other three books in the series. like would there be a chance of them having to go back into the arena like in the second book or is it going to be more of like a plot based on like the rebellion and taking down the corrupt government and system? or like something completely different? (you don’t have to answer specifically bc ig it could be a spoiler but yk in general) sry that just sounded super confusing i hope i made sense lol. <3
hello, hello!!! yes, i can and will answer all these questions, but ill put it under a break so that people who don't want to see possible mild spoilers can simply Look Away
right, so starting with districts:
SPOILER WARNING for those of you who want to skip this part!!! though, really, this information isn't going to be, like, super important/imperative overall and especially not yet. originally, i kept it ambiguous because i hadn't decided and didn't remember enough info about the districts in the books/movies (other than 12) to really choose off the top of my head. so, i only actually really decided because it has, in fact, become a little important to the plot as of where ive written so far into the story, but it's not as important as it was in the books/movies. like i said, the fic isn't going to match up to the books/movies exactly, so it's not going to be as big of a deal, and i won't be focusing on what each district specializes in, etc etc.
you will find out eventually, but it's a little ways away, and it doesn't really hurt to know now. i literally just decided this the other day with help from @blurryayse who listened to me whine and complain because i didn't know what to do, and in the end, there was only one option—which boiled down to a joke. because it's sirius, james, and regulus coming from one district, i went with district six because 1) it's not too close to the Hallow, and 2) for the joke that they're three sixes. so, they're 666. yes, i chose that for a joke, and also because it worked well with the plot.
remus' district is actually the most important, i feel, because Things Happen There. he's from district twelve, which is important for the plot, too. i have all the other tributes assigned to districts as well, even though it might not come up or be important, but let me know if you want the list!
the reaping ages
this one doesn't require a spoiler warning because it's a background fact. in the books/movies, the ages are from 11 to 18, i believe. im not 100% sure if im remembering that correctly, so don't quote me on that. in crimson rivers, i bumped the ages up to 13 through 25, which is a wider margin, and applies to the same rules that the older you are, the more likely your name is to be called because your name is entered more each year, so like, not as many children go in. i just didn't have it in me to really do that. like, i know it adds to the tragedy/horror of the books/movies, but i just. i really didn't want to. so that's why most tributes are older/in their twenties. having to write about vanity (15) and hodge (14, but nearly 15) was hard enough tbh.
the overall plot question:
ive tried to answer this one a few different times, because it's always hard to explain, especially without giving too much away, so im gonna do a bit of a deep dive into it now.
SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO BE SURPRISED BY SOME OF THE PLOT
this fic takes the books/movies—all three of them, yes—and kinda puts a spin on it, remixes it a bit. like, we've already seen that dorcas is involved in something behind the scenes, and in the books/movies, the rebellion/war didn't really start going until after the first book/movie. we see more answers/hints for that very soon (the next chapter), so i won't say too much about it.
in the case of: "is there a chance that some victors will have to go back to the arena?" the answer is yes. in catching fire, snow makes it so that the quarter quell will reap from the existing tributes, but in this fic, i didn't do a quarter quell set up, because we're in the 84th hunger games now. it's not a quarter quell, but there is a reason behind it that will get explained when we get there. so, yes, tributes will be reaped the next year from the existing victors in each district.
there are other things going on and taking place that we see more of and will make sense as you read, and it's hard to explain without you...well, reading it? but yes, we get bits and pieces of plot and references from all three books/movies, and the fic doesn't end after the games that regulus and james are in now, and there will be plenty of rebellion/taking down an evil govt stuff as well!
i hope that answered your questions!!! and thank you so much <3
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kunikinnie · a month ago
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a/n: sort of going along the lines of "Search" i wrote a while back but just this bit and with Chuuya this time taglist: @stygianoir, @irethepotato, @kisara-16reblogs, @thatdazaikin, @dazaee
warnings: some profanity, not proofread lol
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stupor
The alcohol in your system hadn't quite disappeared yet, so you continued strolling around the bay walk alone.
Well, with a less drunk Chuuya making sure you don't do anything stupid.
"Tch. Should have made you drink more so I can just drag you home."
"But the night's so lovely!" You exclaimed while throwing both arms in the air. "You can go home if you want, I'll be fine."
"What kind of friend will leave you alone like this?!"
You continued to stumble across the sidewalk. If he hadn't grabbed your shirt, you might have fallen face first into the pavement. An annoyed and affectionate scolding somehow sobered you up a bit, it seems, as you leaned on the cold metal railing and faced the open sea.
Not a single word of his entered your brain, however. He wasn't even done talking when you interrupted him.
"I miss it."
It didn't take long for Chuuya to realize what you were referring to. "Don't you mean him?"
"No..." you trailed off, your half-lidded eyes still staring at the foggy horizon. "It's not the person. It's more... the feeling. You know, being in love?"
His head almost sharply turned to face you. He had an inkling you might have felt that way, but hearing it directly from you still hit him differently. What should he answer to that?
"I can get behind that, yeah."
You smiled goofily at his reply. "Aww, thanks Chuuya."
"Just... don't fall in love with just anyone. You'll get your heart broken again and if that happens-"
Mine will be broken too.
"You'll whoop my ass, I know, I know."
Sometimes he wonders if you're truly intoxicated or just toying with him. It was impossible for you to bring up these sorts of things and respond somewhat sincerely; the times when you seem so vulnerable are his weakest moments as well.
"Carry me. My foot hurts."
At first he thought you were just being dramatic, but he realized that your fall earlier must have made walking uncomfortable for you - hence the leaning on the railing.
Without hesitation he scooped you up into his arms and continued to walk. The long silence made him worry that you noticed just how hard his heart was beating or wonder why he didn't just use his ability - fortunately, it seems that your exhaustion just finally caught up with you.
"Thanks Chuuya. I owe you one."
Your gratitude and smile is all the motivation he needed to do these things for you. It didn't matter if there came a time that you'd feel the same way for someone else; his loyalty to you will remain unmatched.
But enough of that for now. He needs to relish this moment before the stupor fades away.
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ziegenkind094 · 3 months ago
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hello i saw on ur twitter that you read alot and do you have some book recommendations? im open for anything
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1 The Prince of Milk by Exurb1a = if you're like me and can't read any mr. gaiman books bc his writing style bores you to death then this might be for you. really fun cosmic horror/ scifi book. there's some gore, lots of death and a character who's been battling constant suicidal thoughts with several suicide attempts under her belt, so pls be careful
2 The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly = it's about the dark and twisted nature of fairytales, plays during WW 2 and covers difficult topics like loss and death. There's also some murdering and sick experimentation going on, like sewing a human's head on an animal's body etc.
3 Prosper's Demon by K. J. Parker = quick and fun read with an interesting take on exorcism and demon handling. loved the main character's interactions with the demons and how he solved his problems in the book lol
4 Afterlove by Tanya Byrne = sweet book about girls falling in love and then unapologetically staying in love for the rest of the book. srsly, they're so sweet :')
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5 All of Us Villains by Amanda Foody and Christine Lynn Herman = YA about teenagers killing each other in a blood tournament with an intersting magic system. pretty dark, lots of blood and injuries, actual death and, of course, feelings. funniest straight bait i've seen in a while, promising gay romance (not confirmed yet but it's hinted at and I hope we'll see it come true in the sequel). it's a bit of a pynch situation, just with more murder :)
6 The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern = it was recommended to me as a love letter to literature and it really didn't disappoint. one of my favorite books I've read this year. also gay with lovely characters and a stunning world, but has unfortunately one-dimensional and flat villains. it's literally about being gay and liking books (didn't like the pop culture references at the beginning but thankfully that stops after a few chapters)
7 Bunny by Mona Awad = AHHHHHHHH I LOVED IT SO MUCH. really, really, REALLY fucked up. I srsly don't recommend it if you don't like horror and gore and murder. feral women becoming even more feral, committing some actual atrocities most dark academia books don't dare to mention. the main character is bi. the book even made me tear up at the end bc of how it handles the topic of loneliness and despair
8 If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio = you probably witnessed me losing my mind over this book on twitter when i live-tweeted my reading journey. nothing has changed, i still think about this book daily. it's one of the books i'm gonna draw fanart for once i'm done with all of my exams. i can't put into words how much i love it, it makes up like 60% of my personality by now. oliver and james are the bitches i will still cry about in 30 years. the book has one of my favorite endings of all time tbh
9 The Secret History by Tonna Tartt = We've all read it. It's one of my favorites
10 Piranesi by Susanna Clark = it's one of those books you shouldn't know ANYTHING about when going itt, which makes it hard to recommend bc I refuse to say anything about it. If you like dark academia then maybe give it a try. I loved it a lot. it's weird but has a very special place in my heart. pls don't look up th plot. pls don't. srly
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11 Wicker King by Kayla Ancrum = it has a really interestng fantasy concept i wish we would've seen more of. it's about two best friends becoming more and more obsessed with each other while losing themselves in their.... uh.. "game". really felt for them and their desperation to stay together
12 Horseman by Chhristina Henry = a dark retelling of the legend of sleepy hollow with a trans main character who i ADORE and still think about daily. again, lots of death and gruesome, gory scenes. really cool concept. have i mentioned that i love the main character? bc i really love him
13 Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro = if you're interested in scifi that's not a grand and overwhelming space opera than pls give this book a try. it's about AI and the appreciation of life, how do deal with sickness and destiny and loss without losing hope Hope these help a bit. idk why but i prefer reading about unhinged and sad characters in summer. makes me feel good somehow <3 sorry if these are too depressig for you!
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ackermental2 · a month ago
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Hi! Hi! I hope you’ve been having a beautiful day or evening so far! How are you? :D I saw this post this morning, and I love how you dissect and go into detail with different accounts of stories or opinions and I was genuinely wondering, is it true that Daemon cheats on Rhaenyra with a mistress? Or was that another false claim from Mushroom/The Maester? Also there is that dreaded claim that Daemon is only after the throne and not after Rhaenyra’s heart! I wanted to know your honest take on this, I love open discussion a ton and it gives me further knowledge and insight truly! :D (Ps LOL am I a sick fuck for actually smiling about the Mysaria comment towards Daemon about Rhaenyra? I’m sorry, but Daemyra could cause me to go bankrupt, I’m absolutely addicted to them, I simply CANNOT. 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🐉🐉 anyways! Thank you for taking the time to read all this if you find time, I appreciate it as always! :)) DAEMYRA FOR THE WINNNNN MFSSSS 🔥🔥🔥!!!
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Please, don't feel like I'm dismissing you, but I've already answered the question about the ridiculous claim that Daemon didn't love Rhaenyra and only used her to get the throne in this post and I don't feel like repeating myself all over again.
And that post you sent me only proofs that people don't understand the Rogue Prince and the Princess and the Queen at all. My god, only a complete moron can write something like that, exposing their own stupidity for the whole world to see.
Maesters were the ones who used young girls for their own gain. They were the ones who told Viserys it would be perfectly fine to rape Aemma when she was eleven. They were the ones killing women and unborn children left and right. Oldtown Triad has so much blood on their hands, they are the ultimate creeps in this story, they are the ones who should make your skin crawl.
Here you have my take on F&B being a crooked mirror of historical sources in our own world.
How can you read those books and don't notice that Oldtown with it's Citadel, Sept and Hightowers is a reference to Vatican, only worse? Worse because in ASOIAF they are going to the Sept during the day, preaching to other people of Westeros about how they should live their lives while being assholes themselves, and then at night they go back to play with their creepy, dark magic. I shit you not, they are like some frickin’ Illuminati of the Seven Kingdoms. Like, Jesus, did any of those idiots even do some reasearch on Hightowers? Those fuckers are fanatic zealots!
And they are responsible for writing Westeros' history! They are the ones who control all letters aka communication system in that world.
When you hear the word 'maester' you're not supposed to think about some poor, educated fellows who were suffering under their masters' ignorance. You are supposed to think about priests, who were keeping all of the ancient knowledge to themselves, whispering lies to their lords, poisoning their minds and their bodies, while trying to control them.
I've never seen a 'history book' as biased as Gyldayn's. This man is contradicting himself not even every second page, but sometimes every second sentance. Maesters murdered Aemma and Laena in cold blood, at the least. You want to be a defender of women, take it out on some creeps grooming children or old men causing trauma for little girls? Oldtown Triad is right there for you.
And they hated the Blacks with a burning passion.
So you know what? I'm standing over there in the corner with those Black guys.
Here is me ranting to poor @ladyalianora about maesters being suss.
//Not to mention: this whole grooming shit? The brothel visits? Daemon teaching Rhaenyra how to suck dicks? Daemon having a lover? Even Gyldayn doesn't have the audacity to say those rumors are true.
Makes you wonder why did he put Mushroom's nonsense in his 'academic' work at all, doesn't it? (Not that the other sources, them being a septon and yet another maester, are any better). And the real reason he did it, was so the people would come to the same, idiotic conclusions as the person who wrote that post above.
It's insane, isn't it, how easy it is to manipulate history, if you only use the right tools. It's almost like GRRM was trying to make a point with F&B other than telling a story about 'huehue, incest, dragons, big fight'.
So what am I saying? That some of those things didn't even happen in the first place?
Yeah, that's exactly what I'm trying to say.
It's almost like Daemon and Rhaenyra could've become close, fall in love even, after his return, without him teaching her how to fuck dwarfs 🤔🙄😯. It's almost like Hightowers accused him of grooming the Princess of Dragonstone in order to get rid of him for a second time 😮. By lying. You know? Just like they did it all those years before, by providing false witnesses and lying 😱😵. Or they simply had an affair and some Hightower spy told the King everything. Mind-blowing stuff, huh?
By this point I know I'm like a broken record BUT IF YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT DAEMON HAD ROMANCE WITH NETTLES, THEN I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE ALICENT WAS RIDING JAEHAERYS' DICK. IT'S THE SAME FUCKING SOURCE!
Two more asks about this, and I swear to god, I'll put those words above my bed.
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tinyidle · 8 months ago
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Hey I wanted to ask if you can do more with ateez and piss kink 👉👈 oh and BTW I love your account
ATEEZ Having a P⚠️ss Kink as Doms (in Depth)
ive been getting lots of love for my mtl that i was even asked to do the piss kink fics with other groups! this ask in particular, however, caught my attention. trust me, after this fic ill get to the other asks. but since i made the mtl and my mind has manipulated my body to clench in my pee (tmi i know lol 💀) i just had to write this.
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WARNING: pure filth lmao (aka smut), title gives the description, bladder control, tw: fluid k*nk, mentions of drinking liquids (water + alcohol), mentions of *nal, sp*nk*ng, consensual force (rough s*x, as in reader gives permission to let atz use them harshly), light bdsm (always remember boundaries folks!), nicknaming (cuz im not a "y/n" writer lol), dom!ateez, sub!reader, fem!reader, light cursing, all fiction
tags: @eclipsehye , @rap1inewhore , @fyeah-bubblekey , @xduygu-arsx , @staytinyexe , @aigokayla , @glitteryskzstraykidsdream , @amultislifeforme
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Hongjoong
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you wanted to pee so fucking bad. your boyfriend made you drink 1 liter of water in the past 2 hours and then made you sit and watch netflix while he himself was checking out samples for a new song piece, just for fun. but you had to go.
"joong, i can't take it anymore. i need to use the bathroom," you said, squirming on the couch and desperately clenching so that no water droplets could come out of your system.
the aforementioned man then turned around with a sly smirk. "ah, you need to go, baby?" he then lifted himself from his computer desk and went to the couch where you sat down. he then lifted you up a bit to bring you down on his lap. "then turn around and go on me."
you widened your eyes in both shock and pleasure. the sharp burn of arousal that hit your pelvis didn't help your already expanded bladder either. when hongjoong realized that you were too stunned to move, he encouraged you by grasping onto your hips and moving you forwards and backward. "come on, baby. you can do it," he encouraged with a smile on his face.
you swiveled around and then took it upon yourself to grind against your boyfriend, finding a sweet yet sinister feeling in knowing you'd leak any time soon. when you felt yourself leaking, you started whimpering, and despite your attempts to clench, the streams kept going. "fuck, joong. im leaking," you sobbed, grinding even harder until your arousal mixed with the piss you had that pooled on your boyfriend's sweatpants.
he caressed your back through all of this. "it's okay, baby. i got you." while you shook until you calmed down, he himself had also cum in his pants. which meant your guys' clothes will have to wash immediately, he'd have to find a better way to do this without much mess, and there would need to be a shower time afterward because you pissed a lot and he came a lot.
he tucked your hair behind you ear and talked to you softly. "when we get in the shower, how about you ride me as a reward for being so good?" your libido rose up again and you moaned a 'yes', much to hongjoong's liking.
Seonghwa
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nothing made seonghwa feel better than pleasing his baby, even if he didn't enjoy it much. your satisfaction above his was his motto. he knew you wanted to try pissing for pleasure, but he wanted nothing less than cleanliness. although you respected that, he still wanted to please you. so today he was going to fulfill your desires his way.
"princess, would you like to take a shower together?" seonghwa asked when you guys were getting ready for bed. you, always loving intimacy with your boyfriend, accepted with a smile.
you guys were in the shower cuddling and showering when all of a sudden you felt your taller partner kiss your left shoulder. "can i give you a bit of an extra wash?" you, liking how this is going, agreed to let him do what he wanted. he kissed your left shoulder in a silent thanks before you felt warm streams.
it kept pooling until you felt both your feet get warm by the clear liquid. you gasped when you felt seonghwa's cock grow behind your ass, his crotch rubbing against your leg. "hwa-" you quietly moaned, feeling your arousal grow in your own crotch.
"if you don't mind, doll, i'd like to finish what i started." you never nodded so fast, knees buckling, ready to be pleasured to entirety.
Yunho
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you acted up just to see how your boyfriend would punish you. never in a million years have you thought he'd used one of your most dirtiest kinks against you.
"yun, i can't take it anymore," you said, squirming while leaning over the island of the kitchen you guys were hanging out at. while attempting to cook, instead you were trying not to pee all over the floor.
"fucking hold it," the tall man growled, his back to you while finishing up on the rice for lunch. unfortunately, it's been over 20 minutes and you drank way too much water prior. you ended up having an accident right where you were standing.
yunho, hearing the sound of you leaking on the floor, smirked, turned around, instructed you to take off your clothes, and rubbed your clit until you couldn't piss anymore. "my tiny little baby really couldn't take it anymore, hmm." although you were whining, you've got to admit: you were loving every second of it.
Yeosang
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one time you guys tried anal, and as fun as it was and as enjoyable as it felt for you both, the lube stains on the sheets were extensive. yeosang couldn't help himself as he's just a messy man. a beautiful man, but a messy one. the line crossed when he tried to make your squirt. you let out so much that he was wondering how long it would take for his bed to fully air out. no way is he going to try pissing. on purpose, that is.
you like to drink water before bed so that your bladder can wake you up in the morning. it was obvious that you drank too much alcohol that night because of your wooziness and your boyfriend's constant hold on to your body while you were wobbling to the bedroom. trying to help you out, he gave you water to help clear your head. apparently, you drank too much of that too.
yeosang was holding onto your side until he felt something warm. shit, he thought. you were too comfortable in your sleep that you forgot to go to the bathroom. luckily he has plastic over the bed from the last sex session. he woke up, and although your hangover didn't hurt that much, you groaned due to the mess you made.
"little doll forgot to pee in the toilet," he said teasing you a bit. he didn't expect you to be aroused by his simple rhetorical question, but you in fact were very turned on. you ended up whining, which yeosang's ears caught on to very quickly. he chuckled and kissed your forehead. "you like being my messy little doll, huh? maybe after i clean up this mess we can make even more mess in the bathroom."
San
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this man knew you loved to watch him do things. you loved watching him dance, him singing, him acting, him modeling, even him just breathing. but san knew something only you and he knew: you were a voyeur. you loved when your boyfriend chased his own pleasure while you watched. you especially loved it when you could help him out.
"be a good girl and get me off, then ill return the favor." you quickly went on your knees, stroking him just the way he liked. at times you'd take his dick in your mouth to egg him on, but you knew san loved being teased in order for him to properly make a mess on your body.
soon enough san warned you about his release, and you took off your shirt and shorts, just leaving your panties on. you continued jacking him off until you saw small spurts of clear liquid come from his tip. you let his streams go down on your chest, covering your boobs and almost drowning your underwear.
the short-haired man smiled while looking at you, and you looked back at him. you were now going to get the favor returned.
Mingi
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you guys were fucking for about an hour now. at first you guys used protection, but then your dumb brain told mingi afterward that he could go in bare because you were on the pill. some 3 more orgasms later, you guys were sensitive yet still very horny. no way was mingi pulling out now, and no way were you going to tell him to stop.
"fuck, honey im gonna pee soon," he said, still going at near-full speed on top of you. you were being lifted forwards a bit with every thrust, and you wanted to pee as well, but you still wanted him.
"let me go on top and ride you until you have to pull out," you said, almost breathless. mingi moaned at your request and moved from on top of you and sat you down on his throbbing cock. you started bouncing, your breasts in mingi's face. he happily took them and sucked on your nipples while licking around the areola area. he was very close, so he pressed onto your bladder and lightly rubbed clit simultaneously so you could get there. "fuck!" you yelled out.
your tall boyfriend quickly lifted you off his dick and pissed on the sheets underneath you too, while you were spazzing and leaking on top of him. "you did so well for me, honey."
Wooyoung
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"woo, i need to go," you said while rocking back and forth on your heels.
"go where? baby, it's raining outside." you knew your boyfriend was playing with you since he knew where you want to go to the bathroom. yet here he was, acting stupidly oblivious.
"dammit, jung wooyoung, i need to pee! let me gooooooo~" you said, now full-on dancing. you saw as the cocky man started laughing at your comprising state. he loved fucking with you as much as fucking you. he left and came back with the sheet you knew all too well. he's gonna have fun with this.
wooyoung took off all his clothes then tugged on your tank top. "i told you not to drink too much water. now you're gonna use me as your bathroom." you've done this many times before ever since he found out you were into it, but every time you still blushed. "unless you don't want to go?"
you shook your head, face still hot by the embarrassment (that honestly shouldn't be there). you took your tank and bra off, before quickly sliding off your skirt and underwear before you leaked anything. humming in approval, the dancer lay himself down on the 'designated piss cloth' and held your waist as you went on top of him. leaning forward and holding onto your boyfriend's shoulders, you slowly started grinding onto him.
wooyoung tried to chase his own pleasure, so he gripped your hips and made you rub against his dick harder. your small gasps turned into huge ones, and soon enough (with the help of the cocky man's teasingly pressing his tip to your ass) made you pee hard.
he kissed your cheek and caressed your back while waiting for your shaking to cease. "such a dirty baby. you deserve a rest, yeah?" you mumbled a small 'yes', and your boyfriend kept holding onto you.
Jongho
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you were told to hold in your bladder. usually, it's easy for you, but your strong boyfriend showed that you are weak-willed when around him. he was pressing on your stomach when you guys were watching tv, made sure to leave the door open when he went to the bathroom to shower, pee, and wash his hands.
you to your disdain were going to break when jongho saw that you gave him the silent treatment. "listen here, sweetie, just because you can't go to the bathroom doesn't mean you ignore me. come here." he caught you by your hip and tugged you to him. he effortlessly lifted you up over his shoulder from the living room area to the couch where the tv was.
"no jongho, no! i was so close to winning-"
"you should have thought about that before purposefully ignoring me all day." he was right, and you knew it. you in an attempt to win his challenge ended up disregarding him, being outright rude sometimes. well, your punishment was waiting for you now. he sat down on the couch, with you over his lap. he pulled your shorts and panties down in one go. he then gave your right cheek a light tap, making you jolt due to the gentle force. "count until i feel like you've learned your lesson."
you haven't even reached 10 yet and had leaked all over your boyfriend's trousers. jongho didn't care, however, as he loved seeing you moan from the pleasurable pain, as well as having an excuse to tap that cute ass of yours. it was more like a harsh smack for you, as you felt both cheeks getting hot. once the tenth spank occurred, you cried out. "10! please jjong i can't take it anymore"
jongho gave your ass a break and lifted you onto his pissed-soaked lap to hold onto you. you sobbed in pleasure that couldn't be explained. "shh, shh, sweetie. you've done well. ill run you a bath soon and we can cuddle later, okay?" wiping the tears from your eyes, you nodded.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
i wrote this while feeling sad about my current state, but when i finished writing this felt somewhat better (probably because writing is a comfort for me). hopefully you guys are feeling 10x better than me!
if you have any asks or suggestions, let me know! i can write for more groups, but more atz asks are okay.
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apple-but-sour · 4 months ago
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Something I find pretty annoying with how L'Manberg stans treat c!Niki is thay they are either one step away from diagnosing her with female hysteria like you said for no longer being c!Wilbur's most loyal person or they just refuse to ignore those aspects of her
Like in the jailbreak stream I saw some people mentioning how out of character it is for her to have helped the Syndicate break c!Dream out and I was so confused because like first of all she wasn't helping break c!Dream out she was helping break c!Ranboo out you know her friend that to her knowledge hasn't done anything wrong and it's yet again being mistreated by another system something she would emphasize with by the way the systems in L'Manberg always treated her
But also just acting like it's completely out of character for her to do that and like the syndicate don't actually respect or even like each other even when told that c!Techno asked them for their help he didn't demand it the answer is still either she's just too lonely to ever be able to say no and she's with them because they are the only people she knows which then why doesn't she go live with them like c!Ranboo did everybody would welcome her just fine but c!Niki literally has her anarchist city because it's part of her beliefs and hell c!Niki literally moved servers
Or instead of the loneliness thing it's seen as a straight up out of character decision
Like I really wonder if they think that any character not acting exactly the same as when they first joined the server is being out of character instead of you know having gone through a lot of character development
(Tho, I guess with the way they treat c!Philza they do lol)
I just find it kinda even disrespectful at some point to keep insisting that cc!Niki is acting and writing her own character wrong just because you don't like that she's no longer on L'Manberg's or even just c!Wilbur's best side
ANON. ANON YOU GET ME. When I talk about L'Manburgians having weird projections for the narrative this is exactly what I mean. They keep expecting c!Niki to admit that the Syndicate is bad for her and to start endlessly reminiscing about how great L'Manburg was and it's just not happening!! Because ppl projecting their dislike of the Syndicate onto a 'traitor' of L'Manburg isn't going to suddenly make her dislike the Syndicate too. They keep having all these expectations for the narrative that aren't fulfilled and instead of realizing they're wrong about the character and the story they decide to call it bad writing like 😭 no you're just wrong lmao.
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percabeth4life · a month ago
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Hello! I’ve seen some of your stuff about the way PJO and the whole rrverse really treats the gods, and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how it treated the Roman gods? To me it seemed like a weird decision to make the Roman gods a split personality instead of an entire separate being, because his basis for it is that the Roman gods are ‘ripoffs’ (for lack of a better term) of the Greek gods, even though the Greek gods did evolve from gods of other cultures as well?
(Also, apologies if this question has already been asked or if it comes off as rude or anything. I sincerely don’t mean it to be and couldn’t figure out a better way to phrase this question. This pet peeve of mine has been bugging me since I first read the series.)
To start with let me explain how worship of the Greek Gods can work.
One can include or exclude the Roman myths, as many are at least partially based in Greek mythos many take them into account. But one needs to remember that they are touched by another culture, another belief system.
The myths themselves do not make a basis of worship, they are not even a basis of knowledge on the Gods. They are fundamentally mortal, in scope, understanding, and context. The Gods are not as they are portrayed in the myths.
There are people who blend the Greek and Roman Gods, associating them thoroughly. This may be akin to a Roman living in a Greek province.
There are people who are firm on the split between the two, where they carefully cut out the Roman views on things as those are not their beliefs.
There are those that only worship one side, but don't particularly care about splitting all the details as they do have similar origin.
What Rick did... Does not fall under any form of worshipping them I've seen.
Rick effectively considered them the Same Yet Different. The Same enough to be one deity, yet different enough to have a distinct personality swap. Those considering the Gods the same would not have such a personality difference, they would be different aspects. And they would ALREADY have different aspects, by virtue of the fact that every city state has a different belief system, even if it's very similar across city states.
This could have worked, had Rick handled it properly. I would lean towards a need to note every individual epithet having a different personality, with the Greek and Roman split being even larger. And, of course, he would need to include the Etruscans.
While the Roman mythos is heavily Greek based, the Gods themselves? Those are more Etruscan based with the Greeks blended in. Instead of remembering this, he included the Etruscans in a side story and declared them mostly faded.
But, putting aside the Etruscan detail, Rick did not even keep to his different personalities detail. Sometimes they were different, other times there was no notable difference. Sometimes the Romans were strict on names, other times they didn't care.
He considered them separate cultures, up until Jason decided he wanted to actually be Greek, but also didn't want to use Greek terms, nor stay in the Greek camp, nor make Greek Temples- you can religiously convert, but Jason was clearly religiously AND culturally Roman.
The Romans, who hate the Greeks, also sometimes would just use Greek names? Most notably for Thanatos (Mors, Letum). The Romans would NOT have used the Greek name for Mors. We actually have several mythos examples of them using Mors, or Letum, or even the epithet Acherontis.
Rick wanted them the same, yet different, yet also vague enough he could make them more the same whenever it suited him. It was a soft system, but it also played at having hard rules. It didn't work out, and its very frustrating.
If it were me, and I am doing my own rewrite and am doing this, I would simply make them separate pantheons. There is simply too much cultural difference for me to consider them the same.
So in summary: my thoughts are "no" lol
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malleux · 3 months ago
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breathless. - [eight]
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-> link x fem!reader
-> chapter warnings: link is a dick, fighting, cursing
a/n: sorry for the short chapter, this is kind of a filler for the next chapter but i like it and it gave me practice with fight scenes LOL
also reminder, there is a taglist link located on the table of contents if u would like to be reminded of updates!
table of contents
"I just think it would be better if you stayed behind."
You were, quite frankly, appalled. Offended. Baffled. Disgusted. Hurt.
There weren't enough words in the Hylian dictionary.
Link had been quiet the rest of the ride to the Domain, barely answering with hums or one word answers to anything you asked him.
He was quiet as Sidon explained the issues with Vah Ruta. The never-ending rain, the danger that the Zoras were in.
Silent when King Dorephan requested your help defeating it.
He only spoke when asked about the late Zora princess, Mipha. He didn't remember her.
She seemed quite memorable to you.
Link didn't say a word as you both risked your lives against a Lynel to find enough shock arrows to shut down Ruta's systems. Not even a 'thank you' after you risked your life to run in front of the beast and give him enough time to grab the last of the arrows and make a clean getaway.
Link's anxiety making him unable to speak was one thing-- the blatant pettiness and annoyance that flitted beneath his eyes and through his actions was another.
"Why? Am I not good enough to help you on your little quest?" You snapped. You felt a bit bad for suddenly being rude, but the first words he had said in two days were pushing you out of the mission. You had a right to be mad, and by the Goddess were you mad.
"I'm just saying, it'll be better if just I go. Less liability."
"I'm a liability?" Every word he said made you angrier and angrier, "I can handle myself, thanks. I don't need to watching my every move."
"Y/N, that's not what I meant-"
"No, no. You can't take that back, you said it." You held a hand up. He needed to be silent before he dug himself even deeper. "I'll stay behind, just for you. Goddess forbid I fuck something up."
"Y/N-"
Turning your back on him and walking away seemed to be the best thing to do at the moment, even as Link continued to try and explain himself.
Ridiculous, You thought, What could I have done to make him think that I couldn't help?
You didn't know if you were relieved or heartbroken that Link didn't follow.
You kicked rocks as you traveled down a small side road away from the Domain, hoping for a breath of fresh air.
Well, as fresh as you could with rain battering down on you. It fit the mood, really.
You shivered a little, curling up on yourself and rubbing your hands up and down your arms for a bit of heat. The tree canopies above did little to stop the torrential downpour, yet you pushed on. A walk to clear your head was needed, even if it would earn you a few days with a cold.
It was honestly kind of peaceful, except for-
What was that?
You whipped around, breath catching.
Nothing.
You shook your head a little, turning back to the front and continuing on. Probably a squirrel.
There it was again.
A rustle in the bushes. That was too large to be a squirrel. The movement left the leaves reeling, shaking way too much for a small creature to have done it.
Against your better judgement, you took a step toward the bush. Your hair stood up on its end and every cell in your body screamed for you to turn back and run— that this was not a good idea.
Another step.
You reached your hand out. It was shaking almost as much as the leaves. The water on the plant brushed your fingers, droplets running down your arm, but you weren't able to to move the leaves.
You were on the ground instead, a knife pressed against your throat.
Within seconds, you grabbed your assailant's wrist and your fist collided with their face, eliciting a groan from them. You took advantage of their guard dropping and sat up, head-butting them in the chin and making them fall back.
The person— a Yiga, you'd figured out from the costume— created some distance between the two of you, brandishing his Demon Carver in his left hand.
You didn't have time to figure out the significance of that before the Yiga was charging once more, slicing at you before jumping up. Suddenly, he had out a Duplex Bow, shooting two arrows in your direction. You had dodged the sword and one of the arrows, but wasn't fast enough to miss the second.
The sharp tip sliced your left side and you cried out, hand going to the injury. It didn't stay long until you were drawing your own weapon— a trident that Sidon had given you after learning that your Carver had broken.
Swinging it out, you were able to use two hands to block the next sword attack. It was almost incredible, the speed at which the Yiga member was able to switch weapons. With a grunt, you pushed him back and he slid back into the mud.
You charged forward, not used to using a long-distance hand-held weapon, but still willing to use it to defend yourself. The trident went right in between the hole that the Demon Carver created and you used all of your strength to toss it to the side, taking the Yiga's weapon with it.
Caught him again. You smirked.
This time, you went to your specialty and threw a punch at his jaw once more. The Yiga blocked with his forearm and cut under, trying to catch you in your arrow wound and double the damage. He succeeded, and you winced before kicking out a leg and sweeping him on his feet.
You kneeled over him, arm pressed against his neck hard enough to bruise.
"Who are you and how did you find me?"
"Ahah," The Yiga began speaking, and your stomach dropped.
"I can't believe you don't even recognize your own brother, Y/N."
[taglist (italics=unable to be tagged): @a-anxiousmess @oftu @boolorry]
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starlightxsvt · a year ago
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3 dates | c.sc
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pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader
genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.
word count ➳ 12.4k+ (i have NO idea how this became so long so strap in for a ride)
warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, self doubt, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)
synopsis ➳ after one fateful encounter with him you cannot get him out of your head. so you opt to do some crazy things to catch his attention and even snag a few dates with him. only trouble is he isn't the type to stay after the whole disposition is over.
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Swirling the third drink in your hand you heave yet another depressed sigh. You are so tired that you feel like you can just slump on the counter and pass out. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to stop for a drink, you alcohol riddled brain thinks.
The plans you had with Katelyn was cancelled last moment; she called to tell you that her thesis submission date was moved forward and so she couldn't hang out with you tonight. You're in the middle of an existential crisis quite literally, the too many part time jobs yet still lack of money and copious amounts of study getting to you. Staring hard at your drink you contemplate if it is worth giving up on college and your dream of becoming an arts major. It sure feels tempting right now, the long hours at the diner and not enough sleep at night proving to be the worst nuisance.
Sighing you put down your drink. It's still early, you should go home and try to catch up on the much needed sleep. You really had no intention of grabbing a drink tonight; you have morning classes tomorrow but you made a last moment decision to stop for a drink on your way back home. You didn't take your usual route to home today, and while trudging through the streets tiredly you came across this bar called Seventeen's. You've heard stories about this place, how it is the home to local gangs and how it's bad people's turf and what not. Your curiosity, probably too much of that made you get inside for a drink even though all the bones in your body ached. The inside is what you expected, nowhere near fancy but dingy, just decent enough. The people inside didn't look friendly and if the chains and tattoos on them gave any indication you'd say the rumours are true; this is the turf of gangs. The drinks taste decent, not the best but not the worst and from the overall look of this place you don't really have a reason to come back.
You're about to stand up from your stool when a large, clammy hand grabs your wrist out of nowhere, making you jump. "Hey sexy, sit down. Let me buy you a drink," the owner of the hand, a large, tattooed middle aged man slurs making your nose scrunch out of disgust. You're wearing nothing that can be called sexy; a plain cardigan and jeans and the way he looks you up and down makes you want to poke his eyes out.
You really shouldn't have come here. Clenching your jaw, you meet his eyes, "What makes you think I'm interested to have a drink with you?"
"Oh come on, why would you be here then, lookin' all nice? Just sit down," the man drawls, an ugly smile on his face. He still hasn't let go of your wrist and it's making you impatient. Looks like you're gonna have to kick his balls tonight. Maybe the self defense classes didn't completely go to waste.
"Get your disgusting hands off me while I'm being nice, sleazeball," you hiss at him, trying to get his hand off. The man stands up growling, "What did you say you bitch?" You're preparing to break his nose when out of nowhere a punch lands on his face that sends him tumbling to the ground. The attacker gets on top of him and twists his arm and you can literally hear a bone snap.
Shit.
"I think she said she is not interested," the man hisses, landing yet another another hit on his face before kicking his groin and getting up. When he turns around and his eyes meet yours, your heart skips a few beats and you almost The man is drop dead gorgeous, someone you would not expect to see here but probably on the cover of a high end magazine. His blond hair is long, crossing the nape of his neck as well as some covering his forehead. What takes your breath away the most is his eyes, the most beautiful pair you've ever seen. They seem to have their own galaxies in them, so deep and mesmerising and decorated with lashes long enough to make you jealous. His dress up, black jacket and jeans, immediately tells you what he is; a gang member.
"You should get home, lady," He speaks in a no nonsense tone, his face cold as ice. But you're offended. "Excuse me? Who are you calling lady? You make it sound like I'm old." You puff your cheeks and cross your arms, trying to appear intimidating. "Besides I had the situation under control, you didn't need to butt in." The man keeps looking at you with that no nonsense look, his features displaying annoyance if you are right and he's clearly not intimidated. The dude on the floor grunts and makes an effort to get up, only to be kicked by your saviour once more. "Hey Mingyu, get him out of here. What was this piece of trash doing here anyway?" The man orders to someone before turning to look at you, "Do you live far?"
"Uh- no, a ten minutes walk from here maybe," you reply unsurely, surprised at his question. The blond haired man nods before grabbing your wrist, "I'll walk you home. Hurry up, lady." You have a feeling he's purposely calling you that and though you start following him out of the bar, you make grunts of protest.
"Oh yeah, why? Trying to find out my address? So you can come later and hurt me like that guy?" You would not be this brazen if it wasn't for the alcohol in your system, after all the man next you isn't a friendly one if the rumours are true. The man raises a brow at you, "Did you do something that requires me to beat you up?" You hiccup at his serious tone. Does he not get a joke? He lets go of your hand now that you're at a safe distance from the bar but still stays close enough to you as your steps are rather stumbling and messy. You aren't fully drunk but your body is tired and feels like will shut down any second.
You really need some sleep.
"You know I'm not that drunk. You don't have to walk me home." You complain. "I'm walking you home because this isn't a nice place you should be alone at night. What happened earlier could happen again." He says not looking at you. "Mhmm," you keep on trudging behind him, "Thank you so much for your kind gesture, sir." You mock him but he doesn't reply, staring straight ahead, completely ignoring you as he walks quietly. In silence you two walk the rest of the path, before finally stopping as your apartment comes into view. At this point it feels like your bones will break and you will plop down on the concrete any second, but you manage to keep standing. "Well, thanks for walking me home." You shift your weight from one foot to another. "And for helping me back there." He shrugs coolly, a bored expression on his face. He's turning to walk away when you call, "Hey- I didn't get your name."
"What do you need it for?" He side glances at you. You shrug, "I don't know. You helped me so I thought it'd be nice to know your name." "You don't need to. Go inside, lady." He says, his tone final and starts marching away. You wait a couple moments before yelling, "Asshole!" and quickly rushing inside your building, partly afraid he's gonna come back.
You won't be surprised if you get killed tonight.
-
"So you are telling me Choi Seungcheol walked you home?" Katelyn screams in your ear, jolting up from her seat, earning glares from other people at the library in the process. "That's his name?" You whisper-yell, grabbing her hand to pull her back down. "I'm guessing from the blond hair you said," Katelyn shrugs. "Uh huh." You mean back in your chair, "He was hot though."
"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Katelyn whines exasperatedly. "No, I mean, if it wasn't for the way he dresses or talks I would have thought he's a model or something." You murmur.
"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" Katelyn questions. "Hell no!" You frown. "He saved me from that creepy old dude. I was surprised too. I wish I didn't drink so much, I could have gotten a better look at his face," you sigh. "Seriously?" Katelyn raises a brow at you.
"Girl, you should have seen him. His aura and the way he carried himself was...so hot." You grin to yourself. Katelyn watches you like you've grown two heads. "Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on that gangster?" You smile sheepishly, "Maybe, I mean it's harmless. He was broody yet charming and I'm a girl so.... Also, it's not like he likes me too and is gonna come running whenever I ask him to bang me." You mutter.
"Oh he's gonna break your bones and bang your skull against a wall. That's what he's gonna do."
"Come on! Maybe he isn't so bad. Maybe the rumours are just rumours. Maybe he just looks intimidating and dresses up like that and people thinks he's a gangster." "Really? His name is on every bad thing that happens around here. From illegal racing to murders. Do you know that people say he has killed too?" "Like I said, rumours," you shrug being your stubborn self. Katelyn holds her hands up in surrender, "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm glad you're alive so let's just put this behind us, shall we?" You don't reply but wiggle your brows at her, a conspirational look on your face. "Oh no, don't look at me like that," Katelyn warns. "Let's go to that bar tonight. Please?" You give her your best puppy eyes. "What are you? Fucking crazy? You wanna get killed?" She whisper-yells, scowling at you. "No. I just wanna take another look at him. Without the alcohol in my system you know. Besides, the place isn't that bad." You reply.
"Well then get killed by yourself. I'm not coming with you."
"I'll help you with your papers for the rest of the semester."
"Shit."
-
"Well, looks like your wish won't be coming true," Katelyn muses chugging down her fourth glass as you keep playing with your first one. It's nearing an hour since you've come to the bar and there has been no sign of the man you desperately seek. The place is exactly like it was the other day, filled with people who you wouldn't want to mess with.
Yet here you are.
"Let's call it a night," Katelyn sighs. "We're just wasting our time." You know that too but you don't want to leave; not just yet. You are well aware that this is just pathetic but you've this crazy urge to see that man once again. You don't know why you feel this way; you never felt like this before. Why are thinking yourself to death about a complete stranger? Has some kind of spell been casted on you?
"Yeah, let's get going," you murmur half heartedly. You help your friend stand up as she's a little wobbly on her feet and together you make your way through the door. "Should we call a cab?" You ask Katelyn. She shakes her head no and you nod, you arms wrapped around hers to support her in case she looses her balance. You start stepping away from the bar and towards the road to her place until a noise from behind makes you stop in your tracks.
"Did you hear that?" You ask, whipping your head behind. There's no one around and the street is mostly dark other than the light flashing from the name of the bar. You hear the sound once again and this time you can locate where it's coming from. There's an abandoned playground at the back of the bar and you've a feeling that's the source.
Katelyn hisses as she sees you step towards there. "What are you doing!"
"Didn't you hear that?"
"Yes I did. That's why I say we leave!" You ignore her and cautiously keep on stepping forward, mentally cursing yourself for wearing heels. Katelyn follows behind you murmuring all kinds of warnings. "You know curiosity killed the cat, right?" She whispers.
You roll your eyes, "Well I'm not a cat. Just- be quiet. It can be nothing." You both move past the bar gingerly and towards the playground at the back. There are old gallons of oil and abandoned materials just around the corner and you two quickly hide among them. It takes you a while to get adjusted to the low light after you poke your head up from the hiding spot.
You're eyes fix on him immediately. His blond hair makes him easily recognisable amid the darkness. There is a few more people around him, all kicking something in the ground. Not something, but someone. The man lying on the ground groans in pain and you realize this is what you both heard. "Shit," You hear Katelyn curse from beside you. "We need to get going." Instead of replying, you keep your eyes trained on the scene unfolding, holding your breath. You're tranced. Seungcheol lands continuous punched on the guy laying below him and after a moment his writhing frame seems to stop moving as it falls limp.
Fuck.
"You know in movies this is the part where people get caught." Katelyn whispers, her voice hoarse and her hand clutching yours in a tugging motion. "Uh-huh. But I can't seem to move. I wonder if he's... really dead." You whisper back. "Are you fucking crazy!" She hisses. "You wanna witness murder?"
Before you can reply you hear a sound that echoes through the empty field and it takes a second for you two to realise that it came from any one of you two. You don't have the time to figure out who made it as you both are crawling away from the playground without looking back, head crouched low to avoid being seen. You don't know if they heard that or if they're coming behind you, you both just keep scrambling, moving until you're past the corner. As soon as possible you both get on your feet and run like the grim reaper is chasing you, stopping only when you are far enough from the bar.
"I am never listening to you again!" Katelyn yells.
-
It's been a good few days since your near death experience and you somehow find yourself in front of that bar once again. You and Katelyn have not brought up that incident after that night. You made yourself believe that it was over and came to a conclusion that it is better to forget that man and leave all of it behind, no matter how much your heart disagreed. But it's easier said than done; you may not mention him out loud but in the back of your mind you think of him. He's like a ghost, haunting you all the time, plagueing your thoughts when you go to bed at night. It felt like he was ever existent and there was an itch in your heart that drove you insane.
Maybe that's why your subconscious brought you here, in front of Seventeen's, once again. You were on your way back home from library and you thought you took your usual route, until you realized you were standing in front of that place. But what is even terrifying is that the man haunting your mind stands in front of the entrance of the bar and you blink a few times to make sure you are not hallucinating. He's leaned against the entrance door, cigarette between his lips and from his pocket he fetches a lighter to light the poison in his mouth.
Damn, lighting up a cigarette never looked this sexy.
He hasn't seen you yet and you contemplate running the other way. That's the sensible thing to do but you, not being a sensible person, start walking towards him. Your footsteps make him look up and notice you and like the last time, there is no expression on his face. It's the same bored yet handsome face except now in daylight you can take a better look at him and this time, you notice a little mole on the left of his face, by his nose. Realising he's gonna stay silent you decide to speak, "Hi... It's me... Do you remember me?" Wow. That's such an intelligent thing to ask.
With the monotoned yet serious expression on his face, he goes, "Why won't I? I don't have Alzheimer's."
So he can joke.
You laugh, an awkward, probably exaggerated laugh. "What are you doing here? Did you not learn your lesson last time?" He cuts to the chase, his voice brassy and deep, almost threatening. You want to roll your eyes. "Who are you to say? I can be wherever I want whenever I want, thank you very much." "Well then, have fun getting in trouble like last time." He's nonchalant as he blows a smoke right past you and stands up straight, turning away. "Wait!" You almost grab his hand, desperate to stop him.
What is wrong with you? Your subconscious slaps her forehead. What are you holding him back for? To say 'hello sir, I think you're hot, can you please put your dick inside me'? Seungcheol turns his head back, his eyebrow cocked up.
Why do you find everything about him so attractive?
"Um...I know your name, Seungcheol." You speak, trying to sound intimidating, like knowing his name gives you some power over him. There's something definitely wrong with you which is why you don't want him to leave just yet and which is why you're stalling time. But it seems to have done the job as he pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and turns towards you, an annoyed look on his face. "How do you know that?" The timbre of his tone is deep and it rakes shivers down your spine. "Well, you've built quite a reputation for yourself so it isn't hard to get your name." You shrug coolly. "Well, if you know so much about my reputation, you should know what I'm capable of." His lone is low, almost threating as he starts to take slow steps towards you making you step back out of reflex.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you will also end up like the curious cat.
"Oh yes, I know. People have got a lot to say about you," you try to sound unfazed, not meeting his eyes that you feel are burning holes on your face. "What are you doing here, lady?" he asks slowly, pausing between each word and glaring at you as he continues to step forward. You can feel his patience thinning.
"I swear to God if you call me that-"
"What are you doing here?" This time his tone is scary, too scary. It makes you lose the ability to speak for a second as his dark gaze bores into you. He has backed you up against the wall behind you and you swallow. Right, what are you doing here? It probably has something to do with a very hot individual and his insanely attractive aura. Scratch that you are a hundred percent sure it has something to do with the blond haired, enticing man in front of you. He's driving you mad and you need to get your fill of him.
"Go out with me," you state and you are sure you've never spoken words more stupid than that. Internally, you cringe and pray that the ground below you would open and take you straight to the fiery pits.
This is the first time you see some sort of expression come across his face; surprise. He looks utterly shocked and somewhat confused. His mouth opens just a little and he squints at you, "What?"
There's no going back now.
"Go out with me. Let's go on three dates." you say once more, looking him in the eye. He seems to appear even more surprised, a dumbstruck look sitting on his face. He observes you quietly for a while and you can feel the gears in his head shifting. You wonder what he's gonna say next. Or maybe he won't say anything but bang your head on the wall and leave you to die alone. "I'm sorry I'm not following," he looks genuinely perplexed. "I want to go on three dates with you. They say after three dates you can figure out whether you like that person or not and I think I like you so..."
I think I like you.
The biggest understatement of the year.
Seungcheol tilts his head, an amused expression on his face as he studies you, those sharp eyes of his settling on yours, "What is your deal, sweetheart?" He crosses his arms, a brow raised. Sweetheart? That's new. And definitely better than lady. You can't deny how hearing him call you that makes your insides melt. "Nothing. I just want to date you," you shrug, trying to keep your wits together. His proximity is driving you wild; you can sniff a faint smell of cologne and cigarette, him being inches away from you. This time he laughs loudly, a mocking laugh you'd say. "Who sent you?"
Oh my god.
You roll your eyes. "Nobody sent me! Do I look like I'm a gang member or something?" "Then I don't see a reason why you'd want to date me," He states, throwing a challenging look at you.
"What if I said I have a thing for bad boys?"
He snorts. "You don't look the type to date bad boys," he mocks. "Who are you to say that?" You cross your arms. "I want to date you because I think you're hot, okay?" You can not believe you just said that. Looks like you don't have control over your mouth anymore. Warmth spreads throughout your face like a forest fire.
Seungcheol narrows his eyes on you, his tongue poking his cheek as he stands in front of you as if trying to read your mind. After a beat he sighs before looking at you, his eyes becoming darker than usual and his gaze unforgiving. "Hey. Does it look like I'm playing house here? Do you have any idea about the shit I do? The dirty work I do? I don't care if you have a fucking fetish or whatever but this is the last time I'm warning you. I don't want to see you around again. If I see you here once more, you're in fucking trouble," he spits and starts stomping away. His tone is serious and you know very well he is not joking, which is why you use your last resort. You're embarrassed at yourself for being so desperate but at the same time you feel shameless. It has almost turned into a game at this point, you want to make him surrender. That's right, you want him to give in. "You shouldn't be like that with me. I saw you, a few days ago. That night, when you and your friends were beating up that guy...in the playground," you casually stroll to come stand right behind him.
You can't believe you are blackmailing a gangster. Your death must be near.
Seungcheol whips his head back, his eyes glaring at you and you can almost see fire in them. Finally, you got his attention.
"My friend also saw it, we both did. You killed him, didn't you? Me and my friend witnessed a murder. What do you say? Should we go to the station?" You can see his jaw clench and you can't hold back a victorious smirk. Moments pass by as your words hang in the air and the tension between you gets thicker. Yet once more he surprises you, breaking the silence with a chuckle, "Well I killed one person, what makes you think I can't take care of another?"
You swallow.
"Well, my friend already knows so if I go missing you can be sure that the cops will come to you first." You throw back at him.
When did you get so wreckless?
Seungcheol stares at you for a few more seconds before shrugging and moving his hand dismissively, "Well then go tell the cops. I don't give a shit." He starts walking back to the bar leaving you starstruck. He stops and turns towards you before opening the door, "Also, I meant it. I hope I don't see you around. Otherwise I may just have to hurt that pretty face."
-
You don't show up after that.
Mostly because you are embarasssed.
It's been a good while after your last encounter with Seungcheol and you didn't go to the police, obviously. Because you don't have evidence and from what you've heard Seungcheol is pretty influential around here and you don't need to go to an extent to get on his bad side. You're definitely gonna end up dead if you do so, which you don't want just yet.
Classes have just finished and you and Katelyn step out of the classroom together, walking through the hallways and into the main campus. She rambles on about some bad sushi she ate yesterday while your mind remains preoccupied. Maybe you need to get laid. Maybe that'll make you forget about Seungcheol. You just need good dick that's probably why you were so desperate for him.
That's just a stupid lie.
You don't realise Katelyn is calling you until she shakes you by the shoulder and you snap back into reality. You notice her face is as pale as a ghost and following her line of sight your eyes stop on him.
Him. Seungcheol.
What?
You double take, blinking furiously to confirm your vision. He's standing there, in the parking area of your uni, leaned against a convertible Ferrari, a cigarette between his lips. He looks relaxed, like he does this regularly. Students whisper in each others ear while gawking at him curiously. "What did you do!" Katelyn yells. "Nothing!" You hiss back.
"Then why is he here!"
"I don't know!"
Your eyes meet with Seungcheol's and a smirk spreads across his face making you shiver. He stands up straight and tilts his head, an indication for you to come closer to him. "Fuck, he's here for me," you mumble. "Of course he's here for you, dumbass," Katelyn snaps. "Well, if I don't return, you know who killed me." You sigh starting to walk towards him. "Wait- you're going with him?" She asks incredulously.
"Don't worry. I'll keep my phone on. I don't think he's gonna murder me, I mean there are so many witnesses." You inhale deeply, leaving behind a lost looking Katelyn.
Seungcheol says nothing as you stand right in front of him raising an inquisitive brow but he only holds open the door for you to get in. Deciding to follow him you enter the car quietly and a wave of gasps go through the crowd.
There's gonna be talk about this tomorrow.
Seungcheol, still smirking victoriously for some reason rounds the car and gets inside and within seconds you're hitting the road. There's a thick silence for a while, which feels like ages to you. You're overwhelmed, bewildered to say anything; your poor brain still processing what is happening. You're nervous, jittery as you fiddle with you bag and look out on your side, for some reason scared to look at him.
What if he really kills you? He wouldn't, right?
"You're awfully quiet," Seungcheol says matter of factly as he spares you a glance while driving.
"I'm... processing."
"What are you, a robot?"
"Why are you doing this?" You question instead.
"Doing what?"
"Okay, you know very well what I mean. Why are you picking me up from uni all of a sudden? How do you even know I'm a student there?" "I have resources and...you didn't protest at all. You came along nicely," Seungcheol raised a brow at you, a cocky smile on his lips. You don't answer but continue to stare at him, trying to pin him down with your gaze. He finally sighs and pulls the car to a stop by the side of the road, the sudden brake making you slightly jerk in your seat. "I've decided to give you those 3 dates. That's why," He is calm, unreadable and you wonder if this is a prank. Then again, he has no reason to prank you, does he? "Really?" Your voice comes out breathy. "Yes. I thought I'd give you a taste of how it feels to be with someone like me. I can scare people without physically hurting them you know," He says in a menacing tone.
"So what? You're taking me to an underground fight or something?" You question. "Nah, we're keeping it simple today." He smirks as he starts the car again and turns on the radio, an indication that he doesn't want to converse anymore.
Shamelessly you take a good look at Seungcheol; he's dressed in another jacket today paired with a black tee underneath. Today, you notice he has upped his accessory game, his fingers full of rings and chains dangling from his neck. But what catches your attention is a tattoo, something like a dragon and words written in a language you don't understand, peeking from underneath his sleeve. You almost ask about it but decide it'll probably be too much and he wouldn't answer you anyway.
As you do so, in the back of your mind you think you should have dressed better, something cuter, more appropriate for a date rather than a plain blouse and jeans. But then again who knew Choi Seungcheol was gonna show up out of the blue. You're gnawing at your lower lip, lost in your thoughts when the car is pulled to a halt and you realize your ride is over. You're parked in front of a diner called Lacy's and from the vibe that the place is giving, you can tell that this is place where people like him hang out. You raise a questioning brow at Seungcheol who says, "I know it doesn't look fancy but trust me I has some of the best food I've ever eaten." Taking his words for now you quickly type out a text to Katelyn letting her know you're in one piece and get out of the car.
Once you're seated you look around the place which is relatively empty except some men playing pool at the far end. You watch Seungcheol who has gone to the reception booth to place your orders; his posture relaxed as he leans against the counter and talks to the girl standing there. They seem to know each other because their chat takes longer than it should and the girl has a shy, almost flirty smile on her face.
He probably fucks her.
You shake the thought off your head as the gangster comes back and sits in front of you. There's silence for a second as you wonder if you should just ask the questions that run free around your mind. "Are the rumours true?" You blurt out. He's raises a brow.
"About you. You know..."
"Do you want them to be true?" He asks back. "I don't...know," you reply. "Well, I think it depends on each person. If you want it to be true it is true, if you don't it isn't," he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "Why don't you just give me a straight answer?" you snap. He smirks as if he's having fun but doesn't reply, watching you with his arms crossed. You roll your your eyes, blowing out an exasperated breath. "You know, I haven't seen one like you. Willingly hanging out with dangerous people, going to dangerous places. You say you saw me kill someone yet you're here. You're almost desperate to get in trouble," he observes. "I'm not desperate to get in trouble. I just...I'm just- attracted to you alright?" This is so embarrassing. You need to shut your mouth. "You've been on my mind ever since that night. I wanna see exactly how deep I'm into you." You bite your lip.
That's enough. You will boost his ego through the roof like this.
Seungcheol studies you for a bit before grinning cockily, "Well, if you didn't know, I am trouble baby. Just you being with me might end you up in a mess." Before you can reply, your food is served, that same girl from the booth setting down your plates and looking at Seungcheol for a bit too long with that same stupid smile which he returns. You don't know why but you feel jealous, jealous of whatever these two share, whatever she has with him.
You've lost your mind at this point. You're on a high that is Seungcheol. He has made you forget your morals, made you completely lose your mind. Or maybe you've been too good all your life and seeing him brought out that crazy, thrill seeking part of yourself.
Silently you dig into your food and as Seungcheol said, the food is really good. This is one of the best meatloaf you've ever had and you can't help but moan. Seungcheol watches you with an amused smile before popping a fry in his mouth.
"What's your major?" Seungcheol asks out of the blue.
"Uh- sociology."
"Mmhmm."
You're about to ask him what he studied in college but you assume he probably never went to one so you seal your lips. You wonder what his background is and who his parents are but you don't want to get too personal on the first day. So you ask something else, "How old are you?" He laughs out loud before he deadpans, "Thirty five." "What!" You almost choke.
There's no way he's-
"Why? What did you expect?"
"I... I don't know! A few years older than me? You're kidding right? You don't look thirty five." He has to be bluffing. "And how old would you be?" "You shouldn't ask a woman her age," you try to make a point. "Don't you have any manners?" He smirks,"I don't, sweetheart. To answer your question, I'm twenty eight."
Uh huh.
"Well, I'm twenty one," you mutter under your breath. You don't know if he hears it because he doesn't give any reaction, busy twirling a fry in sauce. The rest of your meal is full of silence as you wonder if your date will end like this; dry and boring. He's awfully silent and seems to be lost in thoughts as he doesn't engage in a conversation. You're about to take your last bite when the silence is broken by him.
"What did you see that night?" He leans over, his elbows resting on the table as he suddenly regards you with a sombre look, his earlier cockiness vanished. His eyes have once again gone dark and his demeanor says he's not being superficial right now. You're caught off guard as you cough loudly, reaching for your glass to take a sip of water. "What?"
"You heard me. What did you see that night? Exactly how much did you see?" He repeats. You're confused. You thought he didn't care about it. He said it didn't matter. So why is he bringing it up now? You've worked hard to push that night in the deepest part of your brain, pretending it didn't happen.
And then suddenly it clicks.
"You!" You point an accusatory finger at him as you catch on to his plan. "You've agreed to go out with me so that you can find out what I saw that night!" Seungcheol groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, just fucking tell me!" He snaps, annoyed that you've found out his little scheme. You scoff, "I thought you said you didn't care? Besides it's not like I'm going to tell the police." He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. "Just tell me and let me go."
You're baffled. His actions didn't make any sense and you actually thought he had no other intentions behind dating you but holy shit this sneaky bastard. "You sly little asshole!" You hiss at him. "Call me that once more and you'll regret it." He threatens. You roll your eyes sagging back into your seat, "Whatever." Then an idea hits you. "You know what, I'll tell you exactly how much I saw that night." You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he stares intensely at you, waiting for your next words. "On our third date. When this whole deal is over, I'll tell you. But in return you'll have to keep your promise and take me out on two more dates."
"Oh fucking hell," he groans rubbing his face in frustration. His state makes you smirk and you feel accomplished.
Choi Seungcheol is stressed because of you.
What a day to be alive.
You murmur, "Besides this isn't even a proper date. This was more like an interrogation. But I'll go easy on you and won't make you redo this date." You give him a sweet smile and he sees red. You can literally see fury blaze in his eyes. "Whatever!" He yells and abruptly stands up. "I don't have time for this. Your stupid play date is over. I'm dropping you home."
Before you can reply, he's marching towards the door. You've to admit this wasn't the best date but at least you've trapped Choi Seungcheol.
-
It has been a good week after your so called date at the diner and you haven't heard from him. You expected him to call or text you since he was gracious enough to ask for your number but he didn't. You now realize it was a mistake to not get his number; you had asked him for his when he took yours but being the prick he is he denied to hand over his number to you. You should have forced him to, you sigh. As you sit in the library the ping of your mobile distracts you from your racing thoughts as you realize you have a message. Picking the device up you tap on the notification. Even though it was from an unknown number, you have no trouble figuring out who it is from. A smile graces your lips as you read the words over again.
I'll pick you up from your house tomorrow evening at six.
That's all it says and that is good enough to send a thrum of excitement throughout your body.
-
You have not held back in dressing up today and you realize it's been a long time since you've dolled up yourself. A long before the clock strikes 6 you are ready; dressed in a cute pastel top and a matching skirt. You've also went ahead and applied makeup, not too much but just enough to maybe catch his eye. Maybe.
You wonder what he has planned for today.
A text from Seungcheol saying he's here has you flying out of your apartment as fast as your feet can carry your desperate self to see him. He stands in front of your apartment with his convertible, dressed in a white jacket that matched his pants. You take a deep breath before walking towards him, trying to calm all your nerves down.
"You know I expected to hear from you earlier. I've been waiting all week," you voice makes his head turn around to meet your eyes as you are skipping towards him with a teasing smile in your face. "I've been busy," he shrugs coolly, his eyes going over your whole body, from your legs to your face. He doesn't hide that he's taking a good look at you, in fact does it unashamedly.
You wonder if he likes what he sees.
Someone dressed up today," he comments. "Too bad we aren't going to a place where you can show off your pretty clothes." You frown, "Where are we going?" Seungcheol holds open the door, a mischievous smile on his face. "I've decided to grant your wish." With a confused face you get inside the car, the gears in your head running. What does he mean?
"I'm taking you to an underground fighting ring," he says with smirk as he reaches for something behind his seat. He pulls out a large hoodie and tosses it towards you, "Put this on. Otherwise you are going to attract a lot of attention and you don't want that." You gulp, taking the hoodie and putting it on you. You're slightly embarrassed. You were so excited to try this outfit but it's not like you knew he was taking you to a fight club. Hell you would have dressed like a guy if you knew. You shrug on the hoodie and it falls almost to your knees but it's huge and comfy and most importantly it smells like him. There's a hint of cologne, nothing too strong; a subtle, expensive scent that makes you want to take a deeper sniff. You wonder if you can keep this with you.
Stop it, pervert.
Seungcheol's voice pulls you out of your haze, "You can take it off later. Just wear it until we're out of there," he says and brings the engine to life.
Then you actually think about it. Underground fighting ring? Holy shit. You were only kidding when you mentioned it. Admittedly, you're shocked, somewhat horrified. Everyone knows it isn't the best place to be at especially for someone like you who never had such an experience. Seungcheol must have seen your expression because the smile on his face gets bigger, "Why? You not up for it?" His voice is teasing.
He's challenging you.
Oh well.
"Of course I'm up for it," you square your shoulders, keeping your voice cool. "Bring it on."
-
Seungcheol leads you into a bar and then through a door at the back that leads down to a lot of stairs, reaching a place similar to an underground parking lot. Quietly you follow Seungcheol, staying as close to him as possible, your bodies occasionally touching. He leads you to a pair of double doors and from the other side you can hear men shouting and chanting.
This is it, I guess.
Seungcheol throws one more smile at you before pushing open the doors as you scramble to follow him closely. The sight that greets you something you only see in movies. There's a boxing ring where two people are throwing punches at each other and surrounding them from all sides is a wild, loud and excited crowd. They continue to cheer loudly as the two men in the ring continue to box and you hear their grunts and groans.
Holy shit.
Swallowing your eyes meet Seungcheol's who is regarding you with curiosity. "What do you think?" He has to speak loudly for you to hear over the screaming throng. "Uh... It's loud," you say dumbly as you try to think of a reply. But it's too loud for you to even think properly as you take in your unfamiliar surroundings. You see a tall man approaching towards you and out of reflex you shuffle closer to Seungcheol until you realize it's his friend. The guy from the first night. He and Seungcheol grin at each other, patting their backs as they talk close to each others ears. You gawk at them curiously and realize they must be talking about you because his friend takes curious glances at you occasionally. His friend is tall, really tall and well built but unlike his body his face is sweet and puppy like, almost cute. When he grins his canines pop up just like a puppy and you wonder if all his friends are good looking.
After he's done chatting with his friend Seungcheol pulls you close and says, "This is my friend. Mingyu. Always stay near him, you hear me? Don't stray away unless you wanna get hurt." His eyes are stern as he pins you down with his stare but you have other thoughts running in your head.
"What do you mean? Where are you going?" You yell over the noise.
He just smirks at you and starts taking his jacket off. "About time you see how we do it around here." His tone is cocky as he hands his jacket to you, "Hold this for me. And stay close to him."
Giving a look at Mingyu Seungcheol starts walking away towards a door that you're guessing is the changing room.
He's gonna fight.
"Wait- but-" Mingyu stops you with a hand on your shoulder and offers you a kind smile. "It's fine. Just stay with me." He then ushers you towards the crowd, spotting a place where you can get a good look at the ring. "Do you guys do this often?" You look up at Mingyu. He smiles sheepishly, "Not me. I tried a few times and I always end up beaten to a pulp. But hyung does this often, he's really good."
"Uh huh, I'm sure he is," you smile dryly. "This is your first time watching a fight, no?" "Definitely." He grins, "Watch carefully then. It's really fun."
You have your doubts on how watching people beat each other up can be fun but you don't comment anything, instead chew on your lip anxiously. Seungcheol really didn't have to go this far? What if he gets hurt badly? Is he trying to impress you?
Don't flatter yourself, your subconscious rolls her eyes.
As the loud cheering that had died down ensues again, your train of thoughts are halted as you see Seungcheol in shorts and his hands covered in boxing gloves, step into the ring. You can't help but ogle at his naked torso, his finely defined and chiseled muscles. He has the perfect body, not too bulky, not too lean just the right amount that gives you a hard time taking your eyes off him. He seems to have noticed your gaze because the second your eyes meet, he throws a haughty, knowing smirk at you. Embarrassed you avert your gaze elsewhere.
His opponent is a muscular man who's growling and banging his chest with his fists, a gesture of intimidation, you suppose. You are definitely intimidated and you wonder if Seungcheol can actually win against him.
The fight starts with a whistle and in mere seconds they are on to each other, throwing punches left and right. Your eyes have a hard time keeping up with them and their fast reflexes and your hands fly to your mouth as a punch lands on Seungcheol's face, followed by repeated blows as Seungcheol falls back. There's a moment of silence as he wipes his bottom lip and you realize there's a cut.
He tilts his neck, popping the bones and glaring at the other man before launching himself on top of his opponent. The next moments are a blurry mess, Seungcheol beating the guy repeatedly until he ends up on the floor but he doesn't stop there. Seungcheol ends it with a sharp jab to his spine and you have no doubt the other man has broken bones with the ways he howls in pain. The match comes to an end like that as the people cheer wildly while Seungcheol steps down from the stage. Mingyu grins at you happily as if what you witnessed was just a regular occurrence, something you should be cheerful about. Shaking your head at the situation, you let out a deflated sigh.
Their life is really so different than yours.
-
Seungcheol seems to be in a very good mood after the fight as he buys you both some sandwiches and drinks from a deli after you both step out of the bar. You both sit down at a park nearby to eat and watch the night sky. "You know, I thought you were gonna lose," you speak after taking a few bites of the sandwich. Seungcheol scoffs, "You underestimate me, sweetheart. I've been doing this for a long time."
"Do you enjoy it?" You ask quietly, focused on peeling the wrapper from your food. You feel Seungcheol's stare on you. "Yes. Why? Are you scared already?"
"No. I was just... curious. Your definition and my definition of fun is totally different." You murmur. "Of course. What did you think? I go to the mall and shop and watch movies with my friends when I'm bored?" His tone is sarcastic. You bite your lip. "No I didn't. It's just...I feels different now that I have experienced it first hand." Seungcheol offers nothing more, taking a sip of his coke and leaning back into the bench. A silence stretches between the both of except the rustling of the wrapper of your food. "How long have you been doing this?" You blurt out. He frowns at you and you don't expect him to answer but he surprises you.
"For a long time."
He doesn't offer anymore and you don't have the heart to prod him for an actual answer. "And how long do you plan on doing this?"
"What?"
"I mean... don't you have any other plans. Like...do you wanna keep doing what you are doing for the rest of your life? Don't you wanna like... settle down maybe?" Your voice is soft as if you are talking to a child. Seungcheol looks annoyed. He doesn't speak for a while as he stares at the ground, a frown etched to his face. You're about to take back your question when he replies, "I really don't think you understand. I've been trying to tell you that my life is completely disparate to yours. So I don't think like you. I don't have plans like you but neither am I expected to follow a certain pattern like you. I can do whatever the fuck I want, ___. So don't look at me like you pity me. I'm the last person here that should be pitied. " His tone is sharp and it makes you feel bad, like a sensation of needles pricking your heart. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry," You whisper, feeling timid as you look down at your lap. He mutters, "Don't go poking your nose in other people's business. Specially people like me."
He's right. You shouldn't have asked that. You are not close enough to ask things like that. After that there is a silence, this time, an awkward one. There's palpable tension in the air and you feel jittery. Should you just ask him to take you home?
It's still early and truth be told, you don't want to leave him just yet. You only have one more date to go and judging by his reaction, he is in no way interested in a relationship. You heave out a long sigh. You knew very well what you were getting into, yet you couldn't stop yourself. Seungcheol is like a poison, the sweetest one, the one that has you addicted and unable to let go, no matter how much it hurts.
This is a fucking mess.
"Let's get going. I have plans," Seungcheol announces, standing up. You want to protest but you feel like you have ruined the mood, so you follow him mutely to his car.
The drive to your house is awfully quiet, to the point you want to scream out of frustration. Seungcheol seems to be lost in his head as he makes no move to talk. It's like you are alone, but you're not and it's worse, the air full of tension. Soon you have reached your house and he stops the car but keeps the engine rolling, indicating his rush. He keeps still and stares ahead while gripping the steering wheel as you step out of the car in silence. "Thanks for dropping me home," you say lamely, your voice meek. You turn around to walk away but his voice stops you in your tracks.
"I promised you three dates and I will keep my word. I expect you to keep yours, ___. I hope you will tell me what I want to hear when we meet next time." His tone is sharp with an edge of threat and you barely get to nod before he drives away.
It's not until you're inside your apartment that you realize you still have his hoodie on. Quickly fishing out your phone you type out a text.
I'm sorry, I forgot to return your hoodie.
After a while, his reply comes.
Keep it.
-
You watch Katelyn as she fills her lunch tray with food before walking over and taking a seat opposite to you. She looks extra radiant today, which probably has something to do with the way she's dressed; a bright colourful outfit which undoubtedly she put a lot of time into considering. She has a date, with a guy she has been talking to for the last few weeks. It reminds you of your pitiful situation and you sigh, trying to shrug off those thoughts.
It has been a good couple weeks since you last saw Seungcheol and you have not exchanged a word after that night. In the back of your mind you wonder if he is even alive. You want to message him, you really want to because you are going crazy but after how your last date ended, you can't bring yourself to. You are scared, exactly of what, you can't put your finger into.
The entire situation you have put yourself into is fucking scary. They say you become sure of your feelings after three dates but it did not take that much for you. You already are very certain about your feelings for him and how deep they run exactly and you also know that in the end you will be left scarred. He would never be yours. He has probably forgotten about you or decided that it is not worth another date to figure out what you saw that night.
You let a desperate, pitiable sigh.
"I know you are hiding things from me but I understand that you are not ready to talk yet. But I want you to know I am here for you okay?" Katelyn's voice makes you blink your way out of your thoughts. She squeezes your hand tightly and gives you a reassuring smile and you're left feeling guilty.
"I ...I will tell you. Soon. Just give me a bit more time," you whisper. She nods in understanding. A grateful smile touches your lips as her words make you emotional. Then there's a ping from your phone letting you know there's a message. Without giving it much thought you open the device and your eyes go wide.
I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow night. Wear something formal.
-
You wait outside your apartment for Seungcheol. Your day has passed by in a flurry of excitement and nerves as you carefully picked your outfit and did your hair and makeup. A soft baby pink dress that stopped just above you knees adorns you as your hair rests just above your neck in a loose bun.
You are fiddling with your fingers as you think about how this night is gonna end and wether you will ever see him again when a car screech that grabs your attention.
Seungcheol's convertible has taken a stop in front of you and you see the man getting out the vehicle and take big steps towards you.
You're mesmerized.
Perhaps there is not enough word in this world to describe his looks or perhaps you've simple lost the ability to speak; either way, you just stand and stare, drinking the godly man that stands in front of you. He looks delectable, completely flawless and agonizingly gorgeous in his sharp black suit and pants, with a silk black shirt underneath, the top couple buttons undone that reveals a beautiful porcelain skin. His hairstyle completes the look, parted to one side in a sleek way and showing his forehead and oh god is it sexy. You realize you have a forehead kink, if there is anything as such.
If you weren't in love with him before you are now.
He looks ravishing, and you wonder why it isn't illegal to look this good. It should be because you have completely lost control over yourself. Nothing exists in your world except for him and you feel paralyzed, unable to do anything but drink him in. You wonder if you are even worthy to stand beside him.
"____?" Seungcheol calls you, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes. He must have been calling you while you were eye fucking him. "Oh! Um, hi." You're flustered. "You- you look really, really nice." It isn't enough but it's what you can get past your lips. A knowing smirk kisses his lips before he teases, "Well, you look really, really nice too." Motioning you to his car he says, "Shall we? We'll be late for our reservation."
"Yeah, of course," you say, hurrying over to his car, embarasssed at your foolery. Seungcheol must have noticed you ogling him like that. But you don't really care when he looks like that. It is his fault for looking so devilishly handsome and idly you wonder if he did that on purpose. If he's deliberately teasing with, trying to make you the most miserable before letting you go with a slap of reality to your face. Pushing away those plagueing thoughts, you sit up straight and clear your throat as Seungcheol comes to sit beside you and brings the engine to life.
A decently long and quiet (except for the music from the radio) but not quite uncomfortable car ride later, Seungcheol stops in front of a really fancy and expensive looking restaurant just by the sea. You did not except him to take you to a high end restaurant, otherwise you would have put some more effort in your looks.
Feeling slightly out of place you quietly follow Seungcheol into the beautiful European styled building after he hands his keys to a valet. The interior is dripping with polished furnitures and extravagant chandeliers and marble floors as guests dressed elegantly have their dinner. As you look around the place in awe Seungcheol talks to the receptionist who then guides you towards a staircase that leads to a pair of large double doors decorated with gold which then, opens to a large balcony. In the middle of it sits a table with two chairs and an unceremonious gasp escapes your mouth as you realize this is where you will be having dinner.
The man from earlier takes his leave as Seungcheol helps you sit down before taking a seat for himself while you take in everything, overwhelmed with all your surroundings. Why did he put so much effort for a lousy and fake date?
"What do you think?" He asks with a smirk as he rests one of his elbows on the table.
"I'm overwhelmed," you reply quietly, honestly. He chuckles, "Well this place has really good food and a fantastic view so I thought it wouldn't bad for our last date."
Last date.
"It's really beautiful. I don't know why you did this but thank you, really," you murmur, eyes on the satin table cloth with intricate golden lining. Everything about this place is so pretty.
"Well, I decided it would be beneficial for me to extract words from you if you are wooed," his words have a teasing tone to it and his demeanor is completely different from last time, giving you a whiplash but you are not sure if he's fully joking. Before you can say that you are definitely wooed, a waiter appears to take your order and you leave the duty of ordering to Seungcheol since he seems to frequent this place. Prior to his leave, the waiter pours you Seungcheol's champagne of choice and then, you two are alone once more.
Reaching for the flute, you quickly gulp down the champagne to soothe your dry throat and to calm all your nerves.
Over dinner you talk about your uni and your parents back home and the farm they own. While Seungcheol mostly keeps quiet he doesn't ignore you but listens carefully, occasionally passing glances your way or commenting. He does not offer anything about him, which you expected and you don't ask any questions about him either. Instead you try your best to keep his interest in your words despite the lack of it from his side.
After a hearty meal of poached lobsters and wagyu beefs and creamy soups comes dessert; a chocolate orange mousse with spiced fruits and yogurt sorbet. You start eating your dessert in silence, the occasional crashing of waves filling the complete lack of sounds.
This location is truly magnificent and breathtaking, almost having a feel like you're in a fancy resort in a luxurious tropical island. It is undoubtedly the most beautiful place you have ever been, let alone have dinner at and you wonder if you would ever have the chance to visit some place like this had you not met Seungcheol. The man in question, continues eating quietly, seemingly lost in his thoughts. He looks lovely as always, if not more and you try to burn this image in your mind for you to look back at later. You want to ask him so many question, you want to tell him so many things but you're scared. Sacred if you do so this moment will break, scared it will annoy him and end your final date all too early. So you bite your tongue and finish your food as he does and after your plates are cleared away, you are served another expensive champagne as an end to your luxurious dinner.
Even though Seungcheol doesn't say anything, you assume it is time to spill the beans, to say what he has been wanting to hear from the beginning. You have teased him enough and it is time you give him what he deserves. Taking a deep breath, you open your mouth. "Me and Katelyn heard noises from the playground that night so we decided to check. It was pretty dark and we were tipsy but I recognized you and you were... beating someone up. We stayed there and watched until one of us accidentally made some noise. We were scared that you heard us so we ran. That's all that happened."
You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he listens cautiously, his sharp eyes trained on you. Gulping, you clench your hands together underneath the table, waiting for his reaction. There seems to be an eternity of silence as Seungcheol simply stares at you as if he's debating whether your words are true or not. It's torturous, awfully agonizing and when you can't bear it anymore you're about to speak but he beats you to it.
"I didn't kill him." His voice is quiet. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Somewhere in the back of your mind you believed it, you believed he wouldn't be cruel enough to kill someone just like that and as soon as he speaks those words you believe him, without a doubt, without a second of delay.
"I believe you." You whisper, holding his gaze. "That asshole deserved what he got. He shouldn't even be alive but I let him go. He's in a hospital now, if you are wondering." You nod quietly. It's scary how much you believe him, how much you trust him even though he is pretty much a stranger.
There's a moment of silence as you bask in his presence before he speaks, "____, men like me, we aren't the nicest people. But we are needed, the cops need us around. People like me do the dirty works for people like you so y'all don't face troubles. We do things in an unconventional way but that's just who we are. We aren't as bad as the rumours say but we definitely aren't someone you should be with." You open your mouth to protest but his sharp gaze makes you stop. "If you have not understood it yet, let me say it out loud. I am trouble. People like me is always bad news. Whatever we did until now, I hope you forget. That's the best, ____ trust me. I think we both got what we wanted so let's call it a night." Just like that, he stands up, not waiting for your reply.
You gawk at him, baffled as he pays the bill and starts walking away. Tears burn the back of your eyes and you bite your lip to hold them back. The ending that you had expected has taken place but you are having a hard time accepting it. Your subconscious reminds you that you deliberately got yourself into this even though you saw this coming. So there is no one to blame for it but you. Grabbing your purse, you stomp your way out of the restaurant and towards Seungcheol's car.
Seungcheol barely acknowledges you as you both get in the car and he presses the key to the ignition. You are fuming in your seat, his words and the way he dismissed you cutting you deep. His words come to you, I think we both got what we wanted. You want to laugh. How can he possibly think that? Is he really so stupid or is he deliberately ignoring your interest in him? You want to smack his perfect face, curse and scream at him but all you can do is sit still with your arms crossed as steam comes out of your head. Is he really not curious about your feelings? Does he possess none for you? Does these few days with you mean nothing to him? You have so many unanswered questions. Leaning back into your seat, you close your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.
It feels like in the blink of an eye the drive to your place is over as Seungcheol halts his car in front of your apartment. He does not utter a single word, doesn't even spare a glance at you while patiently waiting for you to get out of the car.
Asshole.
You inhale deeply, trying your best to gather yourself together as you take off your seatbelt and turn towards him.
"Seungcheol?" Few seconds pass before he looks at you. Words are stuck in your throat. When your eyes meet his, you become mute, overwhelmed with emotions as your words die in your tongue. He keeps staring at you, not opening his mouth but waiting for you to speak. "Is this goodbye?" Your voice breaks.
"I believe we don't have any reason to see each other. We both got what we wanted," He says without batting an eye. You're left bemused, one step away from landing a slap on his face. How dare he say that?
"Do you really believe that?" Your words come out as an accusation. "I wanted to go out with you because I thought I have feelings for you! And I do! And my feelings have only increased since I first saw you. I want to see you again, Seungcheol. You may have gotten what you wanted but I didn't." Your fades into a whisper as tears burn the back of your eyes.
Seungcheol stays quiet, staring ahead, his brows knitted as if he's annoyed. "I promised you three dates, ____. And I gave you that. It's over. Your feelings? You'll get over them. It's better to be in pain for a while that be with someone like me."
"You can't say that! I get to decide for myself!"
"____," he sighs, rubbing his temples. "I'm a bad man. You should leave while you still have a good image of me. You'll get hurt because of me and I've caused enough pain to enough people. Just...go. Just forget me." You stare at him as frustrated tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn't meet your gaze but turns his head the other way. You are angry, infuriated and heart broken all at a time. Clenching your fists you inhale a shaky breath before reaching for him.
Before you can chicken out, you tilt his face towards you and quickly press your lips against his. Seungcheol seems to be shocked as a small gasp leaves his mouth but you don't let him push you away. Instead one of your hands come to rest on his thigh as he other cups his face to keep his mouth against yours. You kiss him with all you have left, pouring in every bit of passion and love for him as your tongues intertwine. By the time you are both breathless, Seungcheol gently pushes you back and peers into your eyes. "That's all I can give you, ____." He says, his voice the softest you have heard. You are broken into a million pieces and as much as your heart wants to cling to him, you suddenly feel tired, deflated like a popped balloon. Your emotions have drained you out and left nothing and right now, breathing almost seems too painful for you. Taciturnly, you grab your purse and step out the convertible. You hear another door shut behind you but you don't look back as your heavy steps carry you to the entrance of your building. When you are about to enter your apartment, you accumulate all your strength and courage to spare one final glance at him.
Turning around you see Seungcheol standing by his car, hands in his pockets, simply watching you. Even though your eyes are locked on each other, you don't see any emotion in them. He looks like the same expressionless, mysterious man you saw the first day. The man you fell in love with. Taking in his gorgeous features one last time, you bite your lip and turn away, forcing yourself to walk inside your apartment building.
Your chapter with Seungcheol ends here.
Epilogue
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A/N : Okay so idk why this fucking app is being like this but it says I reached the maximum of 250 blocks but I thought tum1r didn't have a word limit?? Anyway so I've decided to break it up and put the rest of the fic in another post. Please click epilogue to read that.
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