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#they are talking about dinosaurs with him
bruciemilf · 4 hours
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I’m on the second episode of My Adventures With Superman and I KNOW I know, this deserves to be Clark’s show, BUT HEAR ME OUT A SECOND.
Imagine the Waynes didn’t die and Thomas is trying DESPERATELY to buy the Daily Planet from White, but to absolutely no avail.
“For the last time, Wayne, you can have this company when the Gotham Knights win a Stanley Cup.”
“Y’all cheated last year and you KNOW it, White! Come on! We knew each other for 20 years—“
“Not true.”
“You gotta have ONE nice thing to say about me! You saw my charity records? My trip to the Amazon? I found a goddam dinosaur, for Pete’s sake!”
“And you sent it to the Gotham museum.”
“…Well yeah, it looked real pretty.”
“Look, Wayne. I can either give your ego the stroke of the century, or keep Lane and those two idiot interns in check, but I can’t do both. Now get out of here, or—“
Clark clearing his throat, holding two cups of coffee in his comically large hands, “Uh, the coffee machine broke, so I had to run to the store. Is this a bad time?”
Thomas whistling, because what the FUCK. “Christ, boy, how tall are you? How tall is he, White? You a security guard? You WANNA be a security guard?”
“Uh, Clark Kent. Idiot intern,” Clark introduced himself politely despite Perry’s grumbling.
Needless to say, Thomas Wayne is…Intimidating.
“I’ve heard about your research on metahuman physics, Mr. Wayne. It’s brilliant.”
“Oh, that? That was all my boy, really. He’s got all these ideas about reinventing the healthcare system for everybody or something like that. Hell, he wants to invent some bandaids for that Superman fella. “
“That,” Clark blinked, “Actually sounds amazing.”
“Right?. The other day he came to me like, ‘Can I have 30,000 for a research expedition?’ You should’ve seen him in his little lab coat, — cutest thing. Hold on, I have pictures.”
Clark expected a particularly eccentric 10 year not, not a — gorgeous— adult man in what looked to be a great amount of eyeliner and one hell of a scowl. “He’s…” gorgeous, “He seems interesting.”
“Ain’t he? You should meet him sometime. Hates talking to the press, but, I’m sure we can arrange something. “
“Good luck with that. I tried interviewing the kid alone for 10 minutes and Mr. Wayne here kept getting in the way. Probably because he has something to hide.”
“Bruce ain’t really made for the camera, so I had to step in, ya know how it is. He ain’t really the independent kind.” Thomas shrugs. “I know, I know, — you gotta leave em to fly sometimes, and while I bet he’d look cute tryin’,”
Thomas chuckles, but it doesn’t sound amusing. At all. “No bird leaves MY nest.”
Clark finds out why Perry can’t prove Thomas Wayne is Batman. It’s because he’s wrong. He’s listened to Batman’s heartbeat before. And Thomas doesn’t stutter.
Bruce Wayne does, thought.
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kechiwrites · 2 days
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toxic baby daddy!ghost x reader
part 7/8
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synopsis: two weeks into your uneasy truce, simon gets introspective.
wc: 811
cw: afab!reader, angst, banter that becomes arguing, hurt and the tiniest bit of comfort, language, trust issues, simon's pov, no gendered language. no use of y/n ever.
author’s note: well, we back at it, the second last installment of this verse. i'll still take requests/thots for it of course, but soon we'll get closure for these two. for now, simon's thoughts on their situation.
new to baby blue? start here.
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It’s disarming. 
And Simon Riley doesn’t like being disarmed. He doesn’t like being caught off guard, off kilter, unstable. 
It’s been happening more and more often though.
When you and Tommy look at him in perfect unison, he is struck stupid by your eyes, like you copy and pasted them onto your son. His son. His kid. His perfect, funny kid. Unmuddied by everything bad in the world. His life is pancakes and dinosaurs and that horrible fucking tv show that he’s sure rots his little mind. His life is you. Your smiles, your laugh, your cooking, your hugs. Things Simon cheated himself of when he walked out on you, choked with fear and bleeding misery.
Simon is disarmed, totally fucking helpless, a veritable babe in the woods when you let him hold you. When for the first time, in a long ass time, he gets to watch your lids flutter closed and slip into unconsciousness, in that quick, carefree way he’s always envied. 
He barely sleeps, even less so lately. 
After all, no sleeping meant no nightmares. No cloying, choking smoke-like fears reaching for the frayed edges of his subconscious. No sleeping meant he couldn’t play on your kindness, your goodness, and guilt you into holding him back when he woke up screaming, sweating, no matter how bad he wanted it.
It’s two weeks later. Two weeks after sleeping together but not sleeping together. After breakfast and an uneasy truce. Two weeks after kissing you and touching you and holding you like you both had all the time in the world. 
You’re not in a good mood. And he knows that. But he pushes you anyway, pokes and prods you even as you slam through your kitchen, noisily pulling out a pot and a huge bag of pasta shells.
“Let’s talk.” He approaches, arms crossed, full kit traded in for a skull emblazoned cloth mask, jeans and a threadbare black t-shirt, one he’d found in your bedroom days ago, stashed in the back your drawer, crumpled in a wrinkled ball, like you didn’t want to see it, but you didn’t want to trash it either. He’s been doing that lately, staying over for days and rifling through your shit, finding old relics and artifacts from a time neither of you can let go of. An old mask, a hat, t-shirts.
So many goddamn t-shirts.
“Talk?” you snort derisively, filling the pot with water. He watches you test the water with your fingertips and curse under your breath, mumbling something about shit pipes. When the pot is full, you turn to face him, lips curled, sneering. “I wasn’t aware you were capable of that. Thought you just communicated in grunts.”
“You’re funny. That's new.” He jabs, advancing in the conversation much faster than he should have, comforted in familiar territory, finding solace in what used to be commonplace for you, banter, barbs, teasing. The tense set of your shoulders should’ve warned him off it, should’ve told him you’d take it as well as a bullet in the back. But God help him, he’ll take whatever you give.
“Mm.” Your tone is casual but your answering nod is jerky, too fast, “Yeah, I developed a sense of humour when I realized our relationship had been a joke.” You slam the pot onto a burner, giving him your back. 
The air is suddenly devoid of mirth, utterly obliterated where it had been floating between you before. Now the living room and kitchen are a smoking crater, an oil rig on fire, a disaster site. 
He’s never been more grateful for his son’s propensity to nap like he’s dead.
Neither of you say anything. Simon is waiting for you to say something, to dress him down, but when you lower your head and sigh, heavy and deep with pain and exhaustion he planted within you, Simon withers. He slinks back to the living room and drops himself onto your couch. 
You wait, he’s not sure what for. He used to be so good at preempting your actions, your thoughts, your words, now he handles you like you’re a venomous reptile, looking for exposed, vulnerable flesh to strike, to bite.
You set down the glass you’d been drinking from hard. And he’s surprised you didn’t crack it.
“What do you want, Simon?” Question of the goddamn century, it is. And you’ve asked it of him plenty of times. But he never has an answer, can never really deduce just what the fuck he’s doing here, with you. With Tommy. Playing a game? Playing a role? Punishing you? Himself? All of it could be true, but none of it seems right. 
“I want to try.”
All he knows is that before this, four years seemed like a short time, nothing really. But now?
It’s an eternity. Reflected back to him in broken glass, in half full drawers, in his son’s eyes. 
In yours.
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comments + tags + reblogs are so appreciated
oh simon...what do you want?
series masterlist here
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iheart-alastor · 2 days
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Alastor x Fem! Reader who can control sound
I've made this out of pure bordem before I go to sleep if you want me to continue it and possibly make it into a chapter I will put a poll at the bottom of it for you to answer!
(Baso reader in this can control peoples voice and certain objects what create sounnd like a tv or radio/anything what sound comes from)
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Alastor was on air again talking about the early 1900s and how life was until a huge screech sound ripples through his broadcast and cut it off. Completely before a loud laugh came through his microphone he looked at it in annoyance and confusion 'what was going on' before a voice came through it one more "Will you Shut the fuck up about the 1900s you fossil god it's so sad" a glitchy voice said to him. He knew it wasn't his actual mic heavens no why would it talk to him like that anyway he cleared his throat before asking "And who is this may I ask interrupting my broadcast is very bold of you" he asked in a stern voice trying to find out which desperate soul was trying to get on his nerves "Erm nonya business you old prick I was just doing people a favor from having to listen to yap about how it was to live with the dinosaurs" the voice said teasingly. Alastor scoffed at this comment "Oh dear once I find out who you are I will make sure to tear each of your limbs off for disrespecting me" he said as his antlers grew larger "ooo so scary I'm gonna shit myself, omg you're so edgy it's actually making me feel sick!" The voice said before laughing like a maniac before it stopped communicating with him
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Later on you was walking through town after ruining the radio demons broadcast, you're glad you've only just got in hell as he won't know who you are but making sure you don't interact with him anyway so he doesn't recognize your voice. Coincidentallya you bumped into someone pulling you out of your thought you stumbled back onto your ass before letting out a loud groan you looked up to see the radio demon standing there. The streets were quiet, empty, the only people noticeable were sinners who watched the situation from alleys. "Well my dear looks like you've taken quite the stumble!" Alastor said jokingly following it with a laugh at his own joke before he reached his hand out for you to grab onto. You took his hand and pulled yourself up and whispering a thanks before looking away. Hopefully he doesn't recognize your voice even if you whisper. "Do I know you dear you sound very familiar" you froze in place at the question and it made your already dead heart feel like it had stopped pumping "Uhm, no I don't think so I've only gotten into hell" you said trying to change the tone of your voice the excuse was half true as you had only gotten into hell at least over a week ago now you knew a majority of the overlords especially alastor. "Oh well you must not know me then! The names alastor pleasure to meet you darling what a pleasure" he says while taking your hand and landing a kiss on your knuckles "Well.. Hi alastor the names y/n" you say while nuzzling your head into your shoulder flustered at his gesture nobody had ever kissed your hand before. Probably because you grew up in a generation whats slowly loosing their manners, you was also glad you hadn't told alastor about your name whilst you interrupted his broadcast as you really don't want to make up a name alastor chuckled at your reaction to him kissing your hand "Y/n? What a beautiful name darling very beautiful I must say do tell me y/n do you easily get flustered?" Fuck why was he so polite? You would of already fell for him if you forgot that you just interrupted his broadcast an hour before bumping into him. If he knew who you was you'd be dead already! "Uhm no I just wasn't expecting such manners coming from a generation of people who have none it's quite rare" you say before laughing "oh do tell me my dear your generation is crazy! Respectless, sex deprived and don't know how to treat a lady as fine as yourself!" You chuckled before going back to thinking did he always act like this being flirtatious? Because gosh if not he may be wooing you on accident although your supposed to be rivals!
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ssa-atlas-alvez · 2 days
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I hate myself for this but... sigh, I can't help it. At least this one is soft and not angsty
Aaron Hitch x Dad Male Reader
Hotch has been having trouble moving on from Haley (maybe divorce?) Despite it being 2 years. Garcia decides to talk him into going on a few blind dates, one of which is a friend of hers from an online RPG. Hotch is reluctant but agrees, trusting Garcia with her taste in friends.
When Hotch arrives at the small restaurant and stares hes there for a reservation that Garcia set up, he's lead to Reader already waiting at a table. Garvia failed to mention that Hotch's blind date was a man and so he's caught off guard. Through the date, it's obvious Hotch and Reader are awkward until Hotch mentions his son. As it turns out, Reader is a single dad as well after his fiance walked out
They bond over being parents and agree to meet up again. So they do, multiple times. They even set up little get togethers between the kids
Hiya, sorry this has take me so long (actually I'm sorry all of my requests are taking me so long aha) but I hope you enjoy it, it was a really cute request! :)
Description: What is says on the tin, really aha
You watch a man approach you and you know its him. Garcia knows your taste in men well and you have no doubt she would have ensured that the date she picked out for you would be perfect.
He approached you awkwardly, seeing that you were the only individual who was on their own. "Are you here for a blind date?" He asked, cheeks tinting pink.
"Yeah, I'm (Y/N), are you Aaron?"
The man, Aaron, nods. He's awkward, which makes you awkward. He sits down, "I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting a-"
"Man?"
"Yeah,"
"I see... We, er, we don't have to do this, if you don't want to-" You rush out, already standing up.
"No, no, it's okay," He said, giving a small smile, sitting in the chair opposite you. "So, how do you know Garcia?"
"We play the same RPG, but we started talking on the forums and then eventually met up," You nod.
"RPG?" Aaron tilted his head, "That's role playing game, isn't it?"
You nod, grinning, "Yeah." Man, he was just too cute.
He nods as well, with a small smile.
Another minute passed in awkward silence. "So... Garcia mentioned you had a son?" You asked.
Aaron nods, a small smile already painting his face, "Yeah, Jack. He's just turned six."
"Oh, wow, my son's five," You nodded.
"You have a son?" Aaron asked, eyes widening slightly.
"Yeah, Ethan," You grinned. "His favourite thing at the minute is cars,"
"Jack's the same," Aaron said with a small laugh, "Cars and trains,"
"See, Ethan's not hopped on the train trend just yet," You laugh, "He's definitely on the dinosaur trend though,"
"Jack's not gone through that phase just yet,"
"Oh, cars and dinosaurs are all Ethan talks about," You smile.
After that, the rest of the meeting (*cough* date *cough*) went rather well, the initial awkwardness has dissolved and the pair of you stayed out late, talking about anything and everything. He now knew that Ethan's mother had left when he was still a baby, and you knew about the nasty divorce with his ex-wife Haley. You had even arranged a second meeting (read: 'date - sort of') where Jack and Ethan could meet each other the following week.
It was next week before you knew it. Ethan was so excited, practically bouncing off the walls.
"Are they here yet?!" Ethan asked, running in again.
"Bud, I've told you, I'll let you know when they're here-" You said with a small laugh, getting cut off by the doorbell ringing. "And it looks like they're now here,"
"Wooo!" Ethan cheered. "I can't wait to meet them,"
Ethan babbled as he followed you to the front door. "I'm sure Jack's just as excited to meet you," You grin. You really hoped the pair of them got along, you thought as you opened the front door.
"Hi," You breathed, seeing Aaron (that polo shirt on him? Damn).
"Hi," He replied. You grinned slightly, seeing the tips of his ears go pink.
"Hi! I'm Ethan!"
"I'm Jack!" Jack exclaims, equally excited.
"You wanna go play? My dad got me some new cars!"
"I love cars!" You smile as Ethan grabs Jack's hand and they both run off to go and play.
You turn to Aaron, "That looked like it went well,"
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crowsmischief · 19 hours
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happy birthday James Potter, you will always be my favorite and most beloved sunshine boy ☀️🫶🏼
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one of the things i love most in the marauders fandom is that all of us perceive them in a unique way so, in honor of his birthday, here's a couple details about how i perceive James with a little context of my own in no specific order:
sunsets and the beach. since he was little his parents would take him every summer to the beach and monty would enroll him for surf lessons. he remembers the sea breeze and his parents slow dancing with the most beautiful orange sky behind them.
tattoos. got his first one matching with sirius, remus and peter when he turned 17. a year later sirius learned to tattoo and ever since, he would get little significant ones all over his arms. he has the words "mamá/papá" (mom/dad) one in each arm inside little hearts.
legos. he specifically likes the star wars sets, one of his favorite hobbies that helps him clear his overthinking mind and calm his anxiety. this is one of the rare activities he actually prefers to do by himself.
mexican culture. he's half mexican, so of course he loves to talk about the culture and traditions he grew up with, one of his favorites is "día de muertos", so every year he makes an "ofrenda" and never waste an opportunity to educate his friends about the history of the ritual. he introduced traditional food, games and music in spanish to his friends and he loves to speak spanglish.
formula 1. never misses a race, no matter what he needs to do to make it happen. he's a ferrari victim. his favorite drivers are sebastian vettel, michael schumacher and lewis hamilton. his favorite circuits are silverstone and monaco.
books. big fan of a good mystery novel, he really enjoys agatha christie. ever since he saw remus' annotations on one of his oscar wilde novels, he wanted to do it too. while remus' were more critical and analytical, james' most of the time looked like a wattpad comment section. he loves it.
baking. he'd do it with effie all the time when he was little and it's one of his most precious memories. she used to say you do it for the people you love the most in this world. so he does. he often shows up with dinosaur shaped cookies, cars movie themed cupcakes or spiderman decorated brownies for his friends and family on random days, because he loves them always.
memory box. he has this box full of little things like souvenirs, gifts and letters from people that have been part of his life. he has the wrapper of the first chocolate frog sirius gifted him, a postcard remus sent from his trip to argentina, a rock peter painted for him and so much more. he is made of memories.
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popculturebuffet · 3 days
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Batmarch: The Secret Origin of Batman's Trophys (Comission for WeirdKev27)
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Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Batmarch, or celebrations of all things that go bump in the dark knight
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Today we've got a special treat... and i'm not just talking the nice art Kev had comissioned! Looks really good and I really appcirated it. Thank you KEv and thank you Alan Patreon. It was a nice suprise gift.
As for what this is about, this was a fantastic idea Kev cooked up: the batcave is one of the coolest hero bases in all of fiction. The layout is never 100% consitant across media but your usually guaranteed a batmobile, a big ass computer at the center, water falls, and over time a display for various costumes from past sidekicks, alternate outfits etc.
What really spruces the place up are three distinct decorations that we almost always see in the comics and ocasionally in other media, if not live action since these bitches would be expensive to make: A giant dinosaur, a big ole penny, and a giant playing card of a joker. These three are staples of the bat cave, to the point when the original was caved in during the earthquakes that ravaged gotham in the build up to no man's land, Bruce made a point of fishing them out for the new cave he built after that traumatic year.
Yet most of us.... have no idea where he got these wonderful toys. Even I didn't. The Joker Card comes from an obvious grinning source, but what CASE did it come from? Where did he get that dinosaur? What was someone using that giant Penny for? It's a question i've asked once or twice but never looked into. Kevin did though, and while the through and lovely DC wiki helped him find each one, he went the extra mile, asking for a review. And I was entirely on board with this comission as I just.. never had those answers and I doubt i'm the only one whose wondered what the context for these things were. So today we're looking at three disntinct golden age batman stories, at a time when goofy nonsense reigned supreme, logic was optional, and weird shit like this was just another day in the batcave. IN other words, this is going to be a LOT of fun so join me under the cut as we look at gambling themed death traps, penny obessed gangsters and batman being hunted by the most dangerous game: mechanical dinosaurs.
The Giant Joker Playing Card:
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(from Batman #44)
I love these old titles, such flair and cheese. It's incredible.
Anyways this one starts because Joker decides to hit an off the books casnio after his win. Luckily for them, he just wants to play which feels entirely like a joker move: instead of robbing an easy target that can't call the cops and that the mafia presumibly running it would be stupid to retaliate on, he decides "fuck it let's try this whole gambling thing men, sounds like a hoot and a half".
And sure enough.. it goes really well. He spends what's implied to be the whole night just winning and winning until he cleans house. This being the joker this gambling bug can only end one way
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I just.. love everything about this. Joker just had fun at a casnio and turned it into a death trap. It's such a brilliant setup.. and one that while nicely goofy, is also well done: it fits the joker's unpredictablity to just go a gamblin and it fits him just as much to turn a new hobby into a death trap. I also love Lewis' reaction calling it SUPERGAMBLING., like he's some gambling expert and most dangerous game shit is a type of gambling.. which given we're in the dc universe, you probably DO need a name for this kind of thing in the crime world.
So he set shte perfect trap: he has a random balding middle aged man tell the two he has info on a recent raidum theft, raidum a hospital badly needs. To save the presumed orphans about to die without eating their radium, Batman and Robin go to a sketchy island with one house perched on a hill
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The World's Greatest Detective.. sees NOTHING wrong with this and goes ahead and gets caught in the most devious trap imaginable.
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Several head injuries later, our heroes wake and joker reveals the radium theives, who he captured for this scheme but have kept the radium's location to themselves. This is by deisgn: the joker wants the two and their "radium screts" as the ante here, along with Robin to make sure Batman does this. Batman repedately states "I don't gamble' as if logic suddenly works on the clown man who set up a gambling death trap, so Joker reveals if Batman won't play his three supergambling games, he'll just kill the hostages. Batman reluctantly agrees,
Game 1 is super pinball.
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But when Batman proves to be an expert at the snes Joker goes with plan b.. his giant pinball table of death. Sorry his giant SUPER pinball table of death.
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As you can see the same joker face from the card is here and you see it all over his lable. it seemed to be Joker's logo back the. I love this whole setup and mostly show it not only because it' sdope but because those pins must've been what bumpers were. I also had no idea PInball used to be a gambling thing. Makes sense, it's just fun to find out.
The game goes well mostly though one of the guys nearly slams into a pin. Thankfully Robin is an expert gymnist and batman smartly saved laucnhing robin till the last minute and Dick's able to save the goon.
Game two is super rolling some dice, which apparently used to land on numbers. This yugioh style death game involves our bait being tied to polls on three of the numbers. If Batman guesses wrong, someone dies. Or maybe not since the board is pretty damn big. Not every death trap can be super murder pinball. Batman spots some mud on the dice though and correctly guesses they'll pivot. This is the weakest of the death traps here, a bit convolunted, not really guranteed to be as deadly. I know the chance of nothing happening is part of it.. but with pinball there's really almost no chance you won't hit the bumpers. Here it feels like pure luck or simple cheating that both dice flew at the joker.
Next game and the one that introduces our prop, though the dice apparently are also in the cave sometimes which I love. The game is a game of cards.. batman has to correctly guess which face matches the door Robin and the hostage goons are in or they'll choke to death on the deadly gas released inside.. and naturally he figures out it's the Joker card. It's too joker not to work.
Turns out though, naturally the joker isn't playing fair both having a final one on one game ofr him and Batman and having his goon go to get robin behind the joker card door... and Robin dispatches him hilaroiusly and awesomely
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With that the hostages are free and the final death game begins. A giant super roulette wheel with both batman and joker getting in a slot. looser gets crushed alive. It's an awesome finale, and it fits joker to put himself at risk: after all he risks his life all the time why wouldn't he for such a fun gag?
Batman's able to get the wheel to turn fairly and then escape it, leading to a chase. THe Radium Theives agree to give themselves and the radium up but there's still the matter of the joker and we get a short but neat final chase as Joker uses the dice against the heroes then jumps off a cliff, gambling his life one last time.. and rightfully batman isn't betting on the joker having died.
Gamble With Doom is an excellent story. While the trophy we get out of it is only in it briefly the story itself is pure fun. It has some fun dated elements like Bruce's opinon gambling is EVILLLL and the old fashioned designs on the traps, but it's pure fun. The traps are clever, the tension palpable and the climax great. The gambling motif's really fit the joker and it adds up to an all time great joker story with a suprise impact. The Trophy Itslef. is barely in it but Robin DID break a guy's face with it so i'll say it was still cave worthy.
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(From World's Finest #30)
The Penny Plunderer is a name I had heard but had no real context for. I assumed he was some goofy silver age villian with pennies for eyes who drove around chucking pennies at everyone.
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I am an artiste.
Instead it's just a guy in a suit. He has the backstory of any good golden or silver age villian to justify his gimmick
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I love.. everything about this backstory. It reads like if a writer was given the thought exercise "Make the pettiest batman villian origin you can find.". I mean other villians gimmicks make sense: Poison Ivy was a botonist, Mr Freeze had a horrible accident, the penguin was born looking like a penguin with a lot of money, the Joker fell into a vat of chemicals and came out a clwon, the riddler liked puzzles.
Here Joe just... got screwed over by pennies a lot. Even funnier is that the last one has nothing to do with pennies. Like.. even if it'd had nickels he'd still be arrested.
So Joe vows since pennies runied his life, he'l lbecome the penny! Sadly this does not mean him dressing up like a giant penny with a cane and top hat.. nad now I can't show you it that last drawing put me too far behind and... oh fuck it.
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Instead he just wears a suit but makes his gimmick pennies. Commit to the bit man. I do get it as some golden age villians were just guy in a suit, even Joker and Penguin technically counts but one is a clown and the other is a rich penguin man. They have mor ethan just "suit and a vendetta against pennies that somehowturns into stockholm syndrome.
So the penny plunderer begins his reign of terror, setting up a penny arcade as a front, and cashing in a roll of pennies in the most diabolical scheme ever devised by man.
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A true criminal mastermind.
Batman picks up on this pattern because it's what he does and finds his next case, a coin and stamp exibiton with a rare one cent stamp. It's here we meet the reason we're here: the giant penny!
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Yeah to my shock the penny had NOTHING to do with the penny plunderer other than being at the site of one of his robberies. He prefered just.. chucking pennies at people.. which is awesome and a truly great tactic only topped by Batman's use of said giant penny
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I adore the fact that this iconic artifact is there not because it was seized from the villians or a police options.. but because, presumibly, Bruce thought this penny he found was kick ass and bought it off it's actual owner.
Most of the theives escape but they find one willing to squeal. Unfortunatley he dies for his hubris
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Yup bet you weren't expecting the penny guy to kill someone and to see his corpse weren't you but here you are. Also batman is apparently a cop now. George Lopez tried to warn us...
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But we didn't listen! We didn't listen!
A fight breaks out at the gambling parlour and we get two of the best moments in batman history that much like the blue beetle film, ar ehighly underated.
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I just.. I get the sense that is how batman ALWAYS plays pinball. Just judo kicks it every time even as bruce wayne. Both bruce wayne and batman have been banned from so many arcades.. often the same ones. Perks of having a secret identity. We then get coyne once again THROWING pennies at someone and it working. I don't know why he hasn't been brought back with the telkeentic ability to contorl pennies. Give him a copper helmet and a proper costume and oh dammit..
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Then Joe knocks batman out iwth his one weakness: a roll of pennies. He's trapped them in the parlor for your standard batman death trap, having removed their belts and ripped out the phone lines as usual. He then throws them a few pennies when then prove to be a mistake as it's time for SCIENCE WITH DR. BATMAN, who uses one old penny, copper, and one new penny, zinc to make a battery. Good thing jimmy didn't wish it away THIS week.
The cops arrive to free one of hteir own and batman finds a clue once the parlor is cleared of gas. Turns out Coyne was catering a penny slot party for a rich billinoare's houseboat, and naturally their filled with gas. I swear it's always gas with these golden age villians. Get another knockout device fellas.
With that our final chase enses as Batman and robin chase Coyne and while he nearly bests them with a good game of 1940's donkey kong
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He's foiled by his own gimmick: he has only pennies but the pay telephone.. dosen't.. take 5 seperate pennies for some reason? the hell? I get payphones not taking pennies once they went up to a quarter but come the fuck on 1940's payed telephones. he's foiled.. and sentenced to death.
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Yes folks that's the cannoical till some lucky fellow brings him back fate of the penny plunderer: PUT TO DEATH.
This story is as you can tell nonsense that's only gotten more hilarious with the passage of time and I loved every page on it and on getting the panels for this review, I only found MORE hilaroius nonsense to laugh at. We have a story where a guy with a penny gimmick smacks batman with a roll of pennies, trips robin with more, kills a man without pennies, is foiled by pennies yet somehow dosen't actually use the giant penny that's the only reason people know he exists. It's beautiful bollocks and worth your time.
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(From Batman #35)
As I hope you are, this issue had me hooked from the first panel: Batman vs dinosaurs being forced to fashion a bow and arrow for some reason. Yes... fuck. Yes. Also nice of bruce to eat Ollie's lunch.
Okay so this story starts, as many real life stories do, with a billionare having a zany idea; Mr. Hart is a man who puts on shows: ice follies, aqua carnival, 40's razzle dazzle type stuff. For his latest idea though he's going above and beyond: a DINOSAUR ISLAND. With mechancail dinosaurs and cavemen who throw giant sponges at you. Thankfully spongebob wasn't born yet but his great great grandpappys quarepants did the honors. Honorable old fool.
To ramp up the insanity, Mr Hart is inviting a club of big game hunters to eat mammoth steak with batman.
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If that weren't enough, and in any other golden age story it might be... our heroes get CHALLENGED at dinner by one of the rich assholes. Yeah turns out rich assholes who hunt innocent animals for sport and eat reheated mammoth aren't the most stable indviduals and Mr. Breech scoofs at the fact Mr. Hart says Man is the most dangerous game. He's hunted man, they went down like cowards. COWARDS. He feels Batman couldn't hut a dinosaur without his gadgets, and certainly not his bare hands... even though as this issue with prove and has already shown early man had tools.
To prove his point he challenges batman to a fucking challenge: survive on Dinosaur Island: no utility belt, no vehicles. If the dinosaurs touch him he looses. Mr Breech will man the controls. Honestly i'm convinced Breech knew hart well enough to know he'd both agree to this for the publiclity and why he'd invite batman and robin and just wants to play iwth giant mechanical dinosaurs and also batman. Which granted if I were invited to this sort of thing i'd also want to chase batman with mechanical dinosaurs for fun, who wouldn't, so I totally get it and respect the game.
Hart is on board, offering 5000 to the winner's charity and Batman is like "Why the bat-fuck not. Let's go".
Now you might suspect Breech's real motive is trying to kill batman. I mean you have a setup where batman will be without his weapons, the plausable deniablity of a machine malfunction and a secluded island with 24 hours to kill the batman. And you'd shockingly be wrong. Breech really just wants to prove dinosaurs are the most dangerous game so when that Jurassic Park he's working on opens no one will object to him hunting them for sport.
But his plans are foiled by Chase, anothe rich knob who wants to kill batman and robin to, as he says later form a "crime combine". So he wants a bunch of middle aged guys drinking beers to yell at him for not training the joker on tackling well enough. I see.. well played.
So the game is afoot and our heroes take a bit to catch up, first brushing off a real rock among the sponge rocks as a mistake. Theis ends when a Triceratops to trismash them into a tree. Batman calls for a war council on a nearbye island but naturally THAT'S NO ISLAND
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Batman fought a mechanical fucking seamonster. That.. that's cannon. To almost every batman timeline. God bless you Golden Age, god, bless, youuuu. Also i'd be stupid if I didn't say that Tally Ho, Batman! is one of the greatest phrases in batman history up there with "I Am the night" , "I'm batman" and "Something something joker's boner".
So now the games for their lives, Batman and Robin don't have to play fair and start fashioning bows, arrows and knives out of mechanical dinosaur bones. You know.. sometimes this job can be draining: 2-3 reviews a week, many a plan having to be delayed due to a review taking longer than expected.. but then you get a review where Batman and robin have to outrun a manical billinoare who hyjacked dinosaurs from a diffrnet billionare who was having a charity dinosaur hunt with batman and robin using a third billionare's dinosaur, while fashoining weapons from mechanical dinosaur corpses and fashion a kite from a mechanical ptreadon and remember why you love reviewing stuff so mucH: sharinng a good story with the world and finding a good one or two yourself while your at it. And thanks to Kev i've found three truly wonderful, truly bonkers batman stories, with this one being the easy winner. It's both a decent enough concept for the time and hilariously insane.
And I ddin't make up the kite thing: when, after a night of survivial, Robin brings up the batplane, Batman has an idea: since the flying dinosaurs are on a programmed pattren rather than directly controled, they can use them to make themselves a kite yor style.
So to win the day Batman has a plan: he uses himself as bait since Robin's the more agile of the two, and has robin CATAPULT HIMSELF into the air after chase, who is riding on t-rex back with an army of dinosaurs.. and how does he defeat chase' smighty dino army?
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It's both genuinely clever and wonderfully bonkers: Robin defeats an evil billionare RIDING a mechanical t-rex.. with water balloons.
Also props to this story: in the previous two the trophy was impressive.. but it was taken from what felt like a minor point in the story: the card flip game was fun as was batman slammin ga door on a guy, but it's sandwitched between far more elaborate death traps, while the penny, again awesome, wasn't even something the penny plunderer used. Batman just bought it off some offscreen character to relive fond memoreies of crushign some crimianls alive with it. Here the main villian ROAD IN on the thing. Granted he still had to likely buy it off his actual owner, but this time at least a criminal actually used it as a murder weapon. I can see Batman wanting this thing for his cave.
Batman chases chase over the now still dinosaurs and punches the guy out. With this Batman's saved the day AND won the bet. 5000 for batmobiles for kids, donate your batmobile today!
As for chase...
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With that our story and this trilogy comes to an end.. and as I said, it's great. check out all three of these issues their a lot of fun. Next time dc puts some up for sale I may have to get some 40's batman, this stuff is golden.
Thanks for reading
To conclude batman month: Wait'll you get a load of this
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alpacacare-archive · 5 months
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its DESTINY
#repostober#day 18 actually on time! wow#undertale#papyrus#danganronpa#dr1#kiyotaka ishimaru#yes. mashing favorite things together again#but it was meant to be#so many similarities between these two goofs#loud eccentric passionate autistic supportive of their friends always wearing the same outfit EASILY the best character in their franchise#HARDWORKING TO THE POINT OF WORKAHOLISM!!!!!!! UPLIFTING OTHERS WITHOUT ERASING OR DIMINISHING THEIR OWN GREATNESS!!!!!!#always eats the same thing (taka - rice balls toast and a banana- papyrus - DINOSAUR EGG OATMEAL NOT SPAGHETTI sorry its a pet peeve)#kindhearted and so aggressive about it genuinely believe that anyone can improve themselves and theyre both so silly and quirky all the tim#literally the only differences that i can think of are that taka would throw himself overboard if someone authoritative told him to#before they could even finish their sentence while papyrus is an anarchist arsonist who cusses and his intended jokes are actually funny#' * SIGH * ... WHAT A TROUBLED YOUNG HUMAN ... 'FUCK' ISN'T EVEN IN HIS RARE VOCABULARY ! HOW DOES HE FUNCTION UNDER THESE CONDITIONS ??#he would take taka under his wing and get him back on the straight and narrow (give him weed)#and i feel like after the three day long yell over how a skeleton is walking and talking as if that were normal he'd really look up to him#fav things about this are the way takas shirt hangs off of papyrus' rib cage cus theres nothing there but a spine#that was so fun to draw sdfhg#taka cosplaying papyrus is my gift to humanity today
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fisheito · 4 months
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i wanted to see altaria rei then i started goofin around
#the only ones i could see clearly were eevee eiden and morpeko morvay#i couldn't pin rei to a single mon bc i don't know a THING ABOUT HIM yet#but i want to see ghost type rei fight ghost type kuya and they're both just super effective against each other#i wonder if all the old men automatically get honourary ghost type membership. live 300 years ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: spooky#ANYWAY LET ME TALK ABOUT MY LIST#as in the list i was compiling of pokemon who matched the VIBE of someone and i couldn't decide#now BESIDES the ones req et al. already mentioned. which i already 👍👍👍 i was trying to find even moooore . exploring what could be.....#rei: altaria. marowak (alolan). noctowl. chandelure. decidueye. ribombee [a quiet friend :)]. inteleon.#once again i don't know rei's birdy deal yet so i won't (eheheh) pigeonhole him into an owl pokemon but we'll just wait and see#i had inteleon under rei before milke brought up sobble yakumo so now i'm like..... oh no...#rei fits the last evol and yakumo fits the first two.... uhhhhh#they can share. like they share gem placement. butt buddies.#yakumo had: girafarig. froslass. azurill (crying). tropius. wishiwashi. leavanny. marshadow.#i just want him to hang out with the food related mons and enjoy some fresh fruit with a giant flying dinosaur. yah#OK FOR EDMOND I SAW SIRFETCH'D AND COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING#WHAT A REGAL BOY. I HAVE TO. PLEASE I NEED EDMOND TO WIELD ONIONS#i was trying to be serious and find him a proper majestic pokesona . i swear. but the look on sirfetch'd's's face#edmond's list went: skarmory. lucario. cinccino. zeraora. dachsbun.#do i know edmond? i doubt. he's fluffy. wait no he's severe. wait no would he dare carry a fluffy cakey pokemon around? DARE HE????#for olivine i was even more stumped. seems like a lot of the pokemon i immediately thought of were the fluffy nurse types#stuff like chansey/blissey. kangaskhan.#this pokemon is 100% female? *flings pokedex out the window* no. olivine is a gender now#some of the newer pokemon i considered were bewear. drampa. mabosstiff.#but once again these were all just Protective of the Little Ones types#so i was imagining olivine just chilling with his serene smile and an army of MASSIVE CARETAKER POKEMON behind him#but. there has to be more to him than just taking care of others . furrows brow. idk. i'll settle for lapras FOR NOW#ditto eiden riding on the back of lapras. wonderful. glorious#pokemon crossover
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chickenoptyrx · 11 months
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I feel like its taking me a bit to get back into drawing, so please take this dumb blorbo doodle.
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As usual idk what they're talkin about, I just enjoy drawin em
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OC DUMP!!!!! And a rambly life update haha
Haven’t been drawing a lot because the semester was difficult ESPECIALLY around finals. As a break between studying I would often sketch my Kirby ocs! These were are all scattered throughout August - December. Still making the ref for Sir Meteor, so he hasn’t been introduced officially yet (unless you have seen me post about him in discords lol), but he’s been a work-in-progress ever since I posted those allosaurus skull studies in August X)
My winter break has started recently and I’m itching to create again, especially since I have those requests that I opened, I wanted to do them way faster but assignments are priority sadly. As a reward for anyone who has read this far, have a peek at my next planned full piece!
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comraderoscoes · 14 days
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john elkann talking about how lewis hugging ollie shows what a great champion he is lmao he’s just like me
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nmzuka · 3 months
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some more Primal Rage concept work... Diablo V.3 after some input from the wife (bless her for letting me info dump on her and taking even the smallest amount of interest in the series hhhh) Sinjin will probably get some work as well cause I'm not happy with his outfit... need to make it make sense and also really want to rework his mask
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e-m-p-error · 23 hours
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I have decided to make some muses Discord Only so that I can clean up my muses some! The following I'll still write but they will only be available on Discord.
St. Peter Sera Ace Apple Clara Dodie Fizzarolli Hen Moxxie Odette Paradise Verosika Lilith Cherri Bomb Eve Mimzy Rosie Vaggie Zeezi
#BLOG MAINTENANCE ➽➽➽#Discord Only Muses#Got Kaleidoscopes In My Hairdo Got Back The Stars In My Eyes Too (ρєтєя)#Wisdom Always Chooses These Black Eyes And These Bruises Over The Heartache That They Say Never Completely Goes Away (ѕєяα)#My Fans Are The Best They’d Love Me More Dead (α¢є)#Bounce With Something Cute On I Kiss Into The Fog Zone (αρρℓє)#Isn’t She Lovely This Hollywood Girl? (¢ℓαяα)#I’ll Make You Sit Beg Rollover Play Dead (∂σ∂ιє)#May I Have Your Attention Please? Will The Real Fizzarolli Please Stand Up? I Repeat (fιzzαяσℓℓι)#Ask Any Of The Chickies In My Pen They’ll Tell You I’m The Biggest Mother Hen (нєи)#You Know Before Too Long You’ll Be Dead And Gone So Tell Me Right Or Wrong? (мσχχιє)#I Know Exactly Why I Walk And Talk Like A Machine (σ∂єттє)#I Was Thinking About You And It Was Kinda Dirty (ραяα∂ιѕє)#3I Get What I Want My Name Is My Credit Card (νєяσѕιкα)#Come Up And Try My New Parts (ℓιℓιтн)#I Am The Fire I Am Burning Brighter Roaring Like A Storm And I AM The One I’ve Been Waiting For (¢нєяяι вσмв)#Does He Know I’m Forsaken? The Original Sinner (єνє)#When You’re Good To Mama Mama’s Good To You (мιмzу)#Now I Am A Man-Eater In More Than Just One Way He Tastes Like Pig But That’s Okay I Eat Him Every Day (яσѕιє)#Eyes Closed But I Stay Making Mistakes (ναggιє)#Open The Door Get On The Floor Everybody Kill The DInosaur (zєєzι)
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waterwizardcat · 1 year
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*scare you with my oc*
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nbmahoushoujo · 3 months
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i want to share this interaction i had at work that fully convinced me children are both the sweetest and funniest people on the planet
me, talking with a child about dinosaurs: wow, you sure know a lot about dinosaurs! you must really like them, huh?
child: yeah!
me: y’know, i love dinosaurs too
child, suddenly looking very concerned and putting a hand on my shoulder as if to comfort me: oh but millie… they’re all dead
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Jurassic Park daily: damn Alan, wtf
The hell, man? How is it possible that you are so blinded with scientific curiosity that that Ed Fucking Regis, Ed "it was a backhoe or whatever" Regis, is the guy having to remind you that you're holding a goddamn baby??
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*jostle jostle squeeze poke lick*
Am I the only reader who was actually shocked by this? Because up till now the author has been pretty damn clear about who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. Up until now, our Investigation Squad - or at least the scientists - are approaching all this with a healthy amount of respect and trepidation, but the second that Grant is up close and personal with the dinosaurs, he's no better than Wu or even Hammond; he just starts poking and prodding at them for his own satisfaction.
I'm sure he wouldn't be that rough with a fossil even!
This is the scene in the movie where all the humans are looming over the baby raptor, totally in control, glaringly lit with artificial lighting, playing God:
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But the book is worse - the baby raptors are kept in shitty enough containment that they can jump right out of it into the lap of a child, under conditions that most of them don't survive, and their handlers have brought in these random strangers who then pick them up and handle them like they're shaking a toaster with something stuck in it. Jesus.
I was already kind of on the dinosaurs' side because they're just animals and none of the ensuing carnage is really their fault, but Chriton's making it seem like the upcoming carnage is entirely justified, and in fact, way the hell overdue.
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"Mmrrrp?"
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