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buzzdixonwriter · 10 months

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Form Fitting

Recently I gained an insight on what I’ll refer to as comic book storytelling, though the insights cleaned also apply to a wide variety of genres -- sci-fi / fantasy / action / etc. -- and forms of media -- pulps / comics / television / video games / etc.

The insights were the result of watching -- or rather, attempting to watch -- a recent genre film that for the purposes of this discussion we will say is based on a comic book.

I’m being deliberately obscure here because the filmmakers -- creators / cast / crew -- labored under honest intent: They were genuinely trying to make the best film they possibly could.

Knowing how difficult it is to get any project off the ground, I don’t want them or their film to feel slagged upon; they tried their best and it just didn’t gel, but they should be lauded for making a genuine effort, not taking the easy way out of so many amateur / semi-pro / no budget / low budget filmmakers who knowingly crank out crap they try to pass off as satires or -- even worse -- homages to crappy old B-movies.

Creator, if you aren’t swinging for the fence every at bat, why even suit up?

The film was heavily CGI dependent and almost everything was shot against a greenscreen, but the effects ranged from adequate to good and there was nothing there so jarring that it detracted from the story.

The greenscreening felt more problematic, primarily because not all actors know how to perform for greenscreen, and despite clever CGI tricks, the characters never seemed to really inhabit the locations they appeared in but rather seemed superimposed over them.

Irritating, but not a deal breaker.

The real problem lay in the story itself, how it unfolded, how it followed formula, and how the performers never managed to breathe life into it.

This is because in the end, the filmmakers weren’t making a film.

They were making a live action comic book (or whatever actual media it was).

Here’s the thing about comic strips and comic books and stage plays and musicals and animated cartoons and video games vs films and TV shows: We tolerate a lack of realism we never accept in live action films.

This is not to say there aren’t stylized live action movies and TV productions, but by and large they’re either rarities or, in the case of TV comedy and variety programs, viewed as more akin to theater than film.

From its very inception, filmmakers vied over The Illusion Of Reality versus The Reality Of Illusion, but in truth both points of view were easily dominated by the default style of filmmaking around the world: Naturalism.

From the very beginning, film documented what happened in front of the camera lens.

True, with editing and various visual tricks one could make the audience believe the hero’s reaction in one shot was in reaction to a shot of a tiger made months earlier and in a different location, or that an image painted on glass so that actors could walk behind it represented an actual building and not an optical illusion.

As a result, even the most fanciful films strove to convince us that what we saw unspooling before our eyes actually was happening!

The stage expects us to play along with the actors, and pretend their highly stylized settings / costumes / behaviors represents the real world.

Comic strips and books are just lines on paper, folks, as mi amigo Scott Shaw! likes to point out. Superman and Mighty Mouse in the same work is wholly acceptable because the audience understands what they are looking at is pure artifice and not reality.

Ditto animated cartoons and video games. Despite many of them attempting to look as lifelike as possible, the audience understands they are not real.

As a result, those media allow their makers to get away with creative murder.

Drop an actual anvil on an actual mouse from the top of an actual skyscraper and you end up with a smear of gore and fur.

Drop a cartoon anvil on a cartoon mouse from a cartoon skyscraper, and not only do you bypass the issue of what it takes to physically lug 150lbs of metal up to the roof of the building, but the result is a funny sound effect followed by the cartoon mouse being mashed as flat as paper only to pop back to normal a second later.

As a result, the aforementioned stage plays / cartoons / video games / etc. are allowed a lot of leeway in how they tell their stories.

And for the purpose of this discussion, that means lots of short cuts and shorthand.

You’re allowed in comic book storytelling to have characters say and do things that would never pass muster in a naturalistic story.

Villains can be more villainous, dialog can either be lengthy exposition while swinging a fist or a terse outcry that encapsulates what would require careful character development in a film or TV show.

Audiences recognize that as part of the unique style of comic book storytelling and while they might get a chuckle over it, they nonetheless accept it for the sake of the story.

The film I watched felt like a comic book being enacted literally onscreen, not a film story in and of itself.

As a result it range false despite otherwise acceptable levels of technical quality.

The deficiencies leapt out at me more so than other movies I’d call in the comic book style of storytelling only because they were so markedly apparent.

Most films that we call comic book movies (and again, I’m talking about a storytelling style, not the literal source material) are wholly slavish to the wrong medium throughout.

They just feature gaps and weaknesses that should be plugged and strengthened in adapting the material to film.

I feel sorry for the makers of this particular film. They tried and failed, but better that than not trying at all.

#comics #comic book movies #film making

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syrupyyyart · 3 years

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this promo art is absolutely hilarious

#it looks. bad #england kicking china in the kneecaps #the way france looks like he should be closer to the camera but his hand is layered behind americas head anyway???#chinas tpose #the perspective they tried to do for france just absolutely DID not work #this is art. this is some classic hetalia promo material #not art #they all look like they were just laying on the ground and then they greenscreened them to look like they were in the sky. art #the poses are all so stiff

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years

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Michael After Midnight: Yoga Hosers

“So bad, it’s good.”

This is a phrase that is near and dear to me. It is a phrase that indicates quality where others would find none, it indicates that a movie is saved unintentionally, it just tells me I’m in for something fun. I love “so bad, it’s good” cinema. My love for it is is pretty much the entire reason I made Michael After Midnight, so I could showcase these weird, quirky, awkward films I love so much and spread them to a new audience, and maybe even convince you that some of these films actually do have genuine qualities underneath it all.

I also love the View Askewniverse, as this old review of the franchise can attest to. Kevin Smith really was onto something with this series, combining snarky dialogue, pop culture references, and stoner humor together into something that I feel so many movies tried to replicate but that very few ever came close to. Like most movies that use “lol weed” humor fall flat on their face, but not Smith’s movies. Any other movie where a couple argues over the girl having given 37 different dudes blowjobs prior to this relationship would just feel tacky and forced, but Smith made it work. Kevin Smith could take weird concepts like “A woman who works at an abortion clinic is tasked by the voice of God (played by Alan Rickman) to stop Matt Damon and Ben Affleck (who are fallen angels) from accidentally rewriting reality so they can get to heaven; she is aided by Jay & Silent Bob, a black apostle, a muse, and a skeevy priest played by George Carlin. Also there’s a shit demon and Alanis Morisette is God” and make them work. But outside the View Askiewniverse his success has dwindled, with his films ending up forgettable at best; you’ll never find anyone citing Zack & Mirri Make a Porno as their favorite comedy, you know?

So you’d think his “True North” trilogy, a series of B-movies with “So bad, it’s good” aesthetics set in good ol’ Canada, would just be a home run. Combine Smith’s with with the kind of fun campiness of B-movies, what could go wrong?

A lot.

“So bad, it’s good” is not an exact science. It’s not an exact art. The expert creators of this style of film – people like Tommy Wiseau, Neil Breen, or the SyFy Channel – they always have an air of sincerity to them even when they wink at the audience and really lay it on you. The Sharknado movies showcase a perfect balance of telling the joke and being in on the joke, to use one example. But it is so incredibly easy to go too far and end up ruining your own joke by just constantly rubbing in the audience face that yes, it is a joke. Willing suspension of disbelief applies to enjoying films ironically, interestingly enough, and if you keep slapping your audience in the face and telling them “Hey dipshit, this is supposed to be fucking stupid,” they’re not gonna like it. Tusk had this pretty bad, with its interesting premise being ruined by too much self-awareness and too much Johnny Depp. But Yoga Hosers?

This movie is even worse.

This movie is an absolute trainwreck of premises. Two clerks at a Canadian convenience store have to fight Nazi bratwursts created by an evil German mad scientist sculptor who helped form a Canadian Nazi party during WWII. Also there are Satanists who want to cut up the clerks and sacrifice them. There’s also yoga tossed into the mix for good measure. The thing is, all of these ideas could have been used separately for some fantastically stupid films, the “Bratzis” in particular being the idea only someone who is high half the time could come up with. The concept for them alone is what made me want to watch this film, and yet, the execution is just so utterly terrible it makes me regret ever finding the idea charming at all.

A big problem with the Bratzis is just how poor the effects are. They are painfully greenscreened in, an effect that makes the Fierys from Labyrinth look like something out of Avatar in comparison. They speak in gibberish German phrases and when they are killed they splatter in a confetti effect that looks like it comes prepackaged with Baby’s First Video Editing Suite. I get Smith doesn’t work on big budgets or anything, but this is just absolutely embarrassing. This man made a movie with a shit demon as a practical effect and this is what he does when he gets his hands on cutting edge technology?

And it’s not like anything else about this movie is pleasant enough to make up for the awful effects. The two main characters are played by Johnny Depp’s daughter and Kevin Smith’s daughter, and while they undeniably have good chemistry as friends and can sing very well, their characters are just unpleasant, obnoxious millennial stereotypes: they’re catty, they’re snotty, they’re glued to their phones, and they’re pretty dim. Johnny Depp’s character from Tusk is back, and I’m happy to say he’s just as terrible here, mumbling his way through his scenes and just in general sucking what little life there is out of this film. And as if the characters aren’t annoying enough, every fucking character is introduced with some social media title card. It’s absolutely as stupid as it sounds.

And see, some would point to this and say “Oh, come on, it’s so bad it’s good, Smith is clearly just taking the piss here, it’s supposed to be bad!” Well guess what? That’s no excuse to make your movie shit. The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is also an intentional “so bad, It’s good” movie, one that spoofs the gloriously cheesy sci-fi B-movies of the 50s. But that movie felt like a loving, affectionate parody, one that didn’t insult its audience. They knew you were in on the joke, and they just let you enjoy it while they tell it.

Smith, on the other hand, won’t let you enjoy his joke. He constantly needs to cram in cameos from his celebrity pals, with Stan Lee, Jason Mewes, and Kevin Conroy all popping in for some pointless appearances. The terrible effects are just too terrible, with none of it feeling like a charming throwback to rubber suit monster movies and all of it feeling more like budgetary constraints, laziness, and lack of creativity. But worst of all, this film is clearly trying to be funny. The best part of any “So bad, it’s good” movie is that it’s funny accidentally. Humor is derived from the awkwardness of lines delivered earnestly; again, going back to Lost Skeleton, it works because as goofy and awkward as the lines are, they really aren’t too inauthentic to old school sci-fi cheese. Yoga Hosers, though? It is so desperately trying to make you laugh at it unironically while simultaneously trying to get you to laugh at it ironically. It feels manipulative and tasteless, and in the end, it’s what kills the movie.

I have no idea who this would appeal to. It has none of the quality of Smith’s better work, it’s not going to appeal to monster movie fans because its plot is so scattershot and the effects are too poor for even ironic enjoyment, and the jokes are not going to appeal to anyone who isn’t too stoned to realize what they’re watching. All of it feels phony, insincere, and crappy in a genuine way, and there’s just no humor to be derived from something this creatively bankrupt. Shame n Kevin Smith for taking an unironically fascinating and stupid concept and running it into the ground with schtick. I came for Nazi bratwursts assaulting convenience store employees, but instead I get mumbling Johnny Depp and a guy dressed as a Nazi doing celebrity impressions. Fuck you, Smith. Fuck you and your insincere attempts at schlock.

#Michael After Midnight #MAM #Review #movie review #Kevin Smith #Yoga Hosers #True North trilogy #b movie #seahorses #parody #so bad it's good

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charlijadeedelmann · 4 years

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Project 1 Draft #3

Idea/Concept

During WWIII, the US government discovered how to make their troops invincible due to finding the immortal elixir. The war destroyed the earth to unimaginable heights to the point where it is unfixable. To distract the US population from the issue, they have convinced the population that there is no hope and have created a supposed utopia where people stay young forever. The government brought up the immortal elixir and have forced people to start taking it if they are between the ages of 20-30. If you are over 30, you are not allowed to take it because you’ll look too old and use up too much of their supplies (don’t fit their image) and will be forced to turn into robots in order to not take up the rest of earth’s resources, thus hooking people up to machines. Everyone must be the same…. People like me live outside the bubble know what earth is like and that there is hope (Wall-E reference) but the government wants to just abandon the planet all together so they want to turn all of us into robots. I sacrifice myself to save the rest of them. I get hooked up into a machine and become a robot. What the government didn’t realize is just because you got rid of the body, does not mean you get rid of the mind…. I turn off the “utopia’s”/societies, main power source and expose the people to the truth.

(Have me stand in front of the camera. Not moving the mouth. Each clip is cut into the original film of robot me standing in front of the camera.)

(Me standing/sitting in front of camera)

Crackling

The noise beneath my toes

(Faded out photos/shots of me walking through the woods. Make it look almost like it was a distant memory)

Snapping wood

Like disintegrating bones.

Laughter covered by

The screams of those left behind

(First laughter, then have screaming noise in background (maybe an owl screeching))

Too late to go under the knife

(Pause)

These woods

Used to be my home

(Pause for a second. Let the audience hear the cracking of twigs. Maybe a fireplace sound here. Need the crackling of wood)

The child

Once here

Roamed these gentle trees

Like how a bird hops on the ground

(Make sure you read this line almost reminiscent sounding)

(Insert sound of younger me laughing from a childhood video)

Now I’m a hawk

Scoping the earth from up above

(Have the robot-self look up at the ceiling)

I smirk at the memory of my former life

(Jump right back into making a frightening face. Eyes popping out etc)

I didn’t see it coming

(Solemn music, pause with words)

I don’t know where I am now

These black sites are unknown

(Insert quick clip of me on table. Have buzzing sound in the background here. Like the buzzing from an old lamp)

The boots took over about 10 years ago

It started

After WWIII

When fear consumed the public

(Here, start having me look tortured, more fearful and angry. Start moving around maybe)

People starving

People left behind

Those that didn’t succumb to the needles

The man with the big pants found it after the war

When they became God

(Deeper voice here)

The green liquid

People feared they couldn’t have it

They were too old

Too old to stay young

The men in white coats could only make the masks

Their stale faces

(Insert clip of creepy people all with disturbing smiles all lined up)

Try to hide in the midst of those who took the devil’s deal

(Sound angry here. Almost a growl)

They were of young blood

Not me

Not the others like me

They had to hide us

(Start almost cocking the head around. Jolting almost)

We were a smudge on their utopia

The black site

It’s the city of the dead

For those who still breathe

These wires

(Bang head with hands. Almost like you’re ripping hair out)

(Clip of me on the table, eyes will be wide open when I say “turn them into stone”)

Make me look like medusa

The pain of looking me in the eyes

Turns them into stone

Although I lay on this cold table

My mind still races

(Cock head back)

They were dumb

Those white coats

We don’t fit their image

(Have body on table again. Almost edit the shots to make them look chaotic and sketchy)

(Start flipping back and forth from this to robot me standing/sitting in front of the camera)

Replacements were created out of the scraps of our homes

Clomp

(Flip back and forth from table to me eerily standing from the back of the shop)

Clomp

(Stage direction (This is where I start walking up to the switches at Jess’s shop. My stomping is louder than the groups. Dub marching (representing all the people who took the elixir/got plastic surgery) then dub louder my/individual footsteps as I walk up to the switch))

The march of those who were caught by the demons in white

(more stomping, pause)

They didn’t realize

(more stomping, pause)

(Quick cuts to me starting to walk from the back?)

They made a mistake (nature footage, flowers, time elapsed footage of flower blooming)

(Stomping, pause)

Our minds control these contraptions

(Immediate cut away from the greenscreen shots. Now insert the shots of me walking down the walkway towards the light switch. Make sure to try to edit in the shots of me on the table behind the main shot occurring. I stop for a second once I get to the light switch. You kind of see my head move but then I look back and I turn off the lights.)

(My robot self smirks at the camera then turns off the switch to the entire utopia)

(No sound here. Make more dramatic)

(Abrupt cut to black)

I am speaking in this poem but through the robot. The entire film will be shot with me standing in front of the green screen. There will be additional scenes added throughout the poem to either counteract my statements or to enhance them. Overall idea: People don’t understand what it means to be human.

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