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#these went through so many revisions
roaringwish · 2 years
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A poster series for all mainline Windows Touhou games.
This was my final project in college.
The theme was "adaptation". The project was about finding balance between what to translate and what to leave as is to preserve the themes of the original but still make it so the target audience understands them.
The titles use the Hungarian translation's titles and they were made in the style of '60's, '70's and '80's Hungarian posters and some elements were changed for understandability.
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mantisgodsart · 1 year
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After carefully revising our Vi design, we think we know where we went wrong... not enough fluff. Obviously, we did the other two members of Team Snakemouth with her. This is the first time we've ever drawn a beetle this... non-anthromorphized, we think. New experience.
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sabermoonlight1616 · 6 months
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Here he is
Well, his Pre-Hardmode self at least
This is not his final form just yet (note: background on Chase's picture doesn't belong to me, its an official Terraria background)
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"The night he came into that world, stars fell from the skies, and a halo of light circled the moon."
★ looks like he can kill you, and depending on situation, he can be a cinnamon roll or actually kill you.
★ besties with Kevin the Guide and Primrose the Druid. Feral kids camping in the middle of the forest unsupervised stick together after all.
★ doesn't have full amnesia; he does "remember" things but they're fragmented/incomplete. Like, he knows his name and that he's not from this Terraria; but he doesn't know how or why he travelled worlds.
★ people thought he's not a dog person because he said something about disliking "the DoG". But really, he has no grudge against canines. Its the cosmic danger noodle that he hates, but since he can't recall its full name, he just calls it by its acronym "DoG", leading to the misunderstanding.
★ everyone teasingly dubbed his house as "the local zoo/petting zoo" due to the many many critters that inhabit his Living Wood tree house.
★ the Treebark Dryad suspects a deeper connection between Chase and the Crimson biome, with all that ichor running through his veins allowing him to heal/regenerate faster than normal.
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six-demon-bag · 14 days
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atmosphere
Pairing: Ernst Schmidt/Helmut Zemo
Summary: His mage powers discovered late in life, Schmidt’s more than pleased to give his tiny village the finger and attend the Mage’s College. He might take to the magical instruction like a duck to water, but the required self-defense course? Not so much. He’s not sure if it’s better or worse that the College has hired an irresponsibly hot bounty hunter to teach the class for the semester.
Rating: Explicit
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, mage schmidt, bounty hunter zemo, Magic School, but like set dressing bc this isnt about that, Sparring, vaguely, Blow Jobs, First Time, Clothing Differential, Rimming, Anal Sex, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Spit As Lube, Happy Ending
Word count: 11176
Link: atmosphere
Excerpt:
He looks down, finally able to pull his eyes away from the instructor. He reaches for his glasses instinctively, but he’s not wearing them and ends up standing even more awkwardly. The other students keep whispering around him, all about their far too attractive instructor and all of their plans to hit on him. Schmidt will just appreciate from afar, unnoticed.
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eponymoussquared · 11 months
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Aaaaaand we're back!
Sorry for the wait. No comments here, besides that the next parts coming tomorrow. Its time for:
Sheidy Business: Part 3
Ezra might have slept for hours more if not for the smell. It was vile and pungent, like sniffing directly into a trash can. It woke him immediately as he tried not to puke, and once he had managed to stop gagging, he looked around. He was inside a stone room with one barred window, sitting against the wall. The room was short in width, with the door being a few steps away, but it was long enough that the windows light didn’t reach the other side of the room. His ankles were chained to the wall by iron manacles that fit loosely enough that they would shift every time he tried to move, but tight enough that he couldn’t go very far. He was able to make it right in front of the door before the chain that lead to the wall prevented him from going any further. Looking down, he finally saw the source of the smell from earlier; A plate full of slop that was probably supposed to be food.
Ezra, unfortunately, found he was incredibly hungry. The odor was almost enough to quench his appetite, but not quite. Hesitantly, he took the plate and tried to take a bit of the slop in his hands without turning his face away. He had just managed to get it near his mouth when a voice came from the other side. “Little one, you wouldn’t happen to have food, would you?” An elderly voice croaked from the darkness.
 Ezra nearly dropped the plate, managing to catch it without spilling…much…of the food on the hard stone floor of the cell.  “W-who's there?” He stammered out. 
A raspy chuckle came as a response. “Just an old man in an unfortunate situation. Would you mind sharing some of the food you have there?” He asked amiably.
 Ezra hesitated, his stomach growling audibly. He didn’t know when he was going to get food again. Then again, he hadn’t been here for very long, and who knew how long this fellow had. Reluctantly, he gave the plate a push, sliding it into the darkness where the voice came from. Soon the wet sounds of gulping and slurping echoed through the chamber, and this time Ezra couldn't keep himself from vomiting a little. When they finally ended, the plate slid back out of the darkness, not a speck of the slop left. “Apologies. I was…very hungry. But I thank you for your kindness, child. In return, I will give you a lesson. Never give away food in a prison. Everyone will tell you whatever they can to get more of it.”
 Ezra blinked. Poisonous fury rose up in his throat and almost came out through his lips, but then something occurred to him. “...If they’re lying to me to get food, then they probably do need the food, don’t they?”
 Before he had finished speaking, the man started to laugh, a harsh, mocking sound that turned into coughing in a few seconds. “Oh, you're either a fool or a saint, boy. But a fool or a saint is exactly what I need right now.” The clinking of metal came from the darkness, and the old man stepped into the light. He wore a large rag over his body that hid most features, but he seemed to be hunched over. He was smirking crookedly at Ezra, an expression full of mischief and malice.  “You see, getting out of this cell isn’t too hard. But it isn’t safe to travel alone around here-not for you, anyway. You need a group of at least two, preferably three. You got any invisible friends with ya?” Ezra’s expression darkened as he recalled his fellow orphans, both human and Sheid. IF they were here with him, he would have at least had someone to confide in besides this bitter, tricky old man.  “No. They usually tell me when they’re nearby.” He said, not realizing until the old man laughed again that it probably seemed like a joke. “Oh, you got a sense of humor, I see. That’ll serve you well if you get out of here alive. Now, come on.” He walked over to Ezra, and he could see that the man had shackles around his ankles as well, but the chain almost seemed to have melted off. “Just call me Elder. And I don’t need your name-to me, you’re just a little brat. I’ll help you get out of here, but don’t expect me to save you if we get caught.” The brought his hands down to Ezra’s  manacles and fiddled with them. Before he could think to ask what was happening, the cuffs had clicked open. Ezra opened his mouth to thank him, only to have the old man's hand shove his jaw closed.  “Don’t thank me—I didn’t do it for you.” 
Ezra waited until the man had moved his hand away, and then, in a quiet but defiant voice, said “Thank you.” 
The man, who Ezra couldn’t quite get himself to think of as ‘Elder’ at the moment, looked at him with a face made up of pride and scorn at the same time. “See you later, brat.” Ezra’s face turned to confusion. “Wait, you aren’t coming with me?”
 The old man laughed bitterly. “Of course I’m not. I said it's not safe for you. I already paid my debt;  I let you out of those shackles. You're on your own for the rest.” And before Ezra could think of a response, the man pushed open the door and ran out. Ezra shook his head and tried to concentrate. There was no time to waste being confused. He took a deep breath, then stepped out of the cell.
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shesnake · 10 months
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Spider-Verse Artists Say Working on the Sequel Was ‘Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts’
Why don’t more animated movies look this good? According to people who worked on the sequel, Across the Spider-Verse, it’s because the working conditions required to produce such artistry are not sustainable.
Multiple Across the Spider-Verse crew members — ranging from artists to production executives who have worked anywhere from five to a dozen years in the animation business — describe the process of making the the $150 million Sony project as uniquely arduous, involving a relentless kind of revisionism that compelled approximately 100 artists to flee the movie before its completion.
While frequent major overhauls are standard operating procedure in animation (Pixar films can take between four and seven years to plot, animate, and render), those changes typically occur early on during development and storyboarding stages. But these Spider-Verse 2 crew members say they were asked to make alterations to already-approved animated sequences that created a backlog of work across multiple late-stage departments. Across the Spider-Verse was meant to debut in theaters in April of 2022, before it was postponed to October of that year and then June 2023 owing to what Entertainment Weekly reported as “pandemic-related delays.” However, the four crew members say animators who were hired in the spring of 2021 sat idle for anywhere from three to six months that year while Phil Lord tinkered with the movie in the layout stage, when the first 3-D representation of storyboards are created.
As a result, these individuals say, they were pushed to work more than 11 hours a day, seven days a week, for more than a year to make up for time lost and were forced back to the drawing board as many as five times to revise work during the final rendering stage.
"For animated movies, the majority of the trial-and-error process happens during writing and storyboarding. Not with fully completed animation. Phil’s mentality was, This change makes for a better movie, so why aren’t we doing it? It’s obviously been very expensive having to redo the same shot several times over and have every department touch it so many times. The changes in the writing would go through storyboarding. Then it gets to layout, then animation, then final layout, which is adjusting cameras and placements of things in the environment. Then there’s cloth and hair effects, which have to repeatedly be redone anytime there’s an animation change. The effects department also passes over the characters with ink lines and does all the crazy stuff like explosions, smoke, and water. And they work closely with lighting and compositing on all the color and visual treatments in this movie. Every pass is plugged into editing. Smaller changes tend to start with animation, and big story changes can involve more departments like visual development, modeling, rigging, and texture painting. These are a lot of artists affected by one change. Imagine an endless stream of them."
"Over 100 people left the project because they couldn’t take it anymore. But a lot stayed on just so they could make sure their work survived until the end — because if it gets changed, it’s no longer yours. I know people who were on the project for over a year who left, and now they have little to show for it because everything was changed. They went through the hell of the production and then got none of their work coming out the other side."
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fukashiin · 1 year
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high school sweethearts au
— w. riddle, ace, leona, jack, octatrio (collectively), jamil, vil, rook, silver, malleus
⤷ oh dear diary, i met a boy, he made my dull heart light up with joy.
a/n: a valentine's day special!! i enjoyed writing this sm<33
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RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS AS
⤷ THE STUDENT LIBRARIAN !
- the student who volunteered for library duties when no one else would. he mostly works behind the counter with his eyes glued to the screen of his computer—looking for the names of those who had overdue books to return. an esteemed honour student at the same time, the envious mixture of methodical and dutiful that makes the role of a student librarian fit him like a glove.
- he mostly reads at his own pace—a fascinating volume of historical topics covered through the years. rusted evidence that he likes to give his own insights on at the tip of his fingers. sometimes people catch him wondering a bit too far, as his eyes stray off to certain page for way too long.
- despite his free time, he still takes care of his own duties that needs to be carried out, from arranging books back to their rightful shelves, tidying up used tables of its multi-coloured eraser shavings and lost pencils that he hands up to the lost-and-found.
YOUR DYNAMIC
- you often stop by the library for self-revision, a thick stack of textbooks that sit pretty at the side of your table as you have your own necessities. you don’t have much to do after this particular study session, so you plan to head back to your own dorm after reliving your memory of the chapters the teachers have went through with you in class today.
- strangely, unknowingly—the table you sit at is always empty. always reserved for a certain someone. that’s when your relationship with riddle started to bloom.
- any time he spots you at the corner of his eye once you enter the air-conditioned space, he throws a small smile your way and elegantly places the book he was reading down to stroll to your side to help you carry your bag that you were sure was about to dislocate your shoulder. 
- he sits by your side whenever you needed help, some topics just simply played a baffling game of chess with your head that you dread to the core. but he’s more than happy to help one way or another. either to point out to you specific key words, gently grabbing the highlighter out of your grasp, initiating eye contact with you with the textbook closed to help you memorise important points for so long the rate of his heartbeat starts to speed up—
- the air between you two really alleviates your burden and the packed schedule you have to attend to on a daily basis. with school is a bucket of workload that’s dumped onto you. with riddle, is a soft feeling. you don’t have to worry about your planned itineraries for the day and you can be yourself for a while.
he’s full comfort, a swift reminder of those drizzly cinnabuns you two go for a bite for when classes are over for the day. 
- it’s no surprise he has his plate full with library duties either. so to pay him back, you offer him to head for a bookstore somewhere outside the campus, assuring him that you’ll deal with things when his mom intervenes for his “unthinkable” behaviour. in return, he’ll purchase as many books for you as want. hard covers, too.
ACE TRAPPOLA AS
⤷ THE PLAYER ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM !
- it’s as in-character as you think it is. you’ve lost count of the number of times he’s pointed a conspicuous finger at you when you’re sitting on the bleachers, yelling out your name and promising he’ll score a shot for you! much to his disappointment (and surprise, for some reason), the ball just bounces right off the hoop and crashes into another player on the team.
- the indoor sports hall is a huge advantage for him since it lets him connect his phone to the bluetooth speakers, letting him blast out his music of choice that consists of endless tracks from nba youngboy and eminem when the coaches were absent and the company could carry on with free training. 
- his classmates adore him, but the teachers hold their breath in at the thought of having him in their class. a truly slothful student to some extent—but is able to ace every test given out. higher authorities wanted to believe their eyes were playing a trick on them when they take a glance at his report card that contained a full, gleaming row of straight A’s.
- cheeky at heart and playfully flirts with whoever he wants just for the fun of it, not to get their contact number just to ghost them later on like he did with a past lover. he’s learned his mistake and he’s willing to do better, both academically and athletically. but he supposes he could get used to the popularity for a while.
YOUR DYNAMIC 
- resists the urge to dropkick his teammates whenever they send out mischievous whistles his direction when they see you with him. he’s just asking for your notes! nothing else in mind like scrawling his phone number down on some lined-paper and slipping it into the back of your notebook in hopes that you notice and send out a few messages to him when you’re back at your place (and develop into something more...?)
- the type of person who didn’t believe in young love at first before he met you. now, you two make small trips to the school cafeteria to purchase your favourite smoothies when practise was stopped to a 5 minute break. smoothly sweet talks his way out of paying—but doesn’t see your kindness to be taken control over. In return, he tells you the answers for the upcoming test he was able to get his hands on, whether you’re going to use them or not.
- denies (anticipated) accusations that you and him were together in an “uncool” manner, according to him. it’s even worse when you’re present, there to see his face burst in pink and his speedy mannerisms, like telling you to “ignore them!” or shoving you into the nearest locker so his friends don’t catch a glimpse of you.
- sometimes his eyes stay on your face for way too long the atmosphere starts to contort into a weird, one-sided stare-off when it’s supposed to be your one-on-one study session with him. you take notice that he’s not looking at the tip of your pen that’s pointing to a specific part of his notes and threaten to poke his eyes out if he doesn’t focus. you could only giggle internally when he fumbles about and retracts his stare from your face.
- questions you if you’ve been in any past relationships, only to reject hearing your answer when he’s too afraid that he may be outshone in some way.
- but you reassure him that you haven’t, and you’re more than happy to enter into one with him. with that, you see him gleefully punch a fist into the air once he’s off on his way to tell his teammates about it, too in his thoughts that he forgets about the teasing he’s about to be bombarded with afterwards.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR AS 
⤷ THE CLASS SLACKER !
- similar to his junior ace in some ways. petty, bored, but effortlessly gets the highest grade in the class. it’s no surprise that even the overachiever who sits behind him and sees his big, outstanding ‘100′ penned in red at the corner of his paper that easily outdoes their imperfect ‘98′, has to keep their tongue in to ward off the nasty feeling of shooting the rudest vulgarities out of their mouth.
- lessons in session automatically translates to “do whatever you want for the period”—no matter the subject he takes. he often gets caught folding paper origamis or writing down the most prankish notes just to crumble it up and toss it the teacher’s way.
hands a little too skillful has him crafting numberless spitballs that he uses as imaginary missiles to shoot into random people’s hair. the preppy boys can wave a sad goodbye to hair day when leona appears with a handmade launcher in the hallway.
- though with such a behaviour, leona somehow seems to make himself appear approachable from his short-formed responses and dismissive nods. but could anyone have ever guessed that he would act so mind-blowingly different with someone else?
YOUR DYNAMIC
-  if he ever catches your mood down in the dumps, he insists you to come with him to the cat cafe that holds many cuddly creatures to help aid the minds of those tireless students piled with projects to complete with mind-boggling deadlines. either he enjoys getting swarmed by the adorable army of kitties himself, or looks at you with the softest eyes thinking about how you strangely resemble them as you get lost in distant laughter when one of them decide to curl up in your lap.
- sneakily shares his stash of snacks that he managed to shove into his bag at the back of the class when the two of you were luckily placed together during seat arranging. each low-key pass of a sweet was complimented by his deep chuckle as he feels rewarded by the numerous suspicious stares that fly by both of your ways.
- nonchalantly terrifies any cheap intimidators when he catches you getting cornered. you wonder if his initial plan backfired and that he actually made them fall in love with him with his unfairly gorgeous face? (you don’t blame them)
- growls at whoever takes the chance to wake him up from his day-to-day naps, rolling his eyes at their dumbassery when it’s a whole different story when it comes to you. when you do it (with panicked warnings you got beforehand), leona takes a while to get familiar with the touch of your skin and swishes his tail from side to side when he recognises your oh-so sweet scent he cherishes to the moon and back. 
raises an eyebrow at you for being so brave to take the opportunity to wake him up, promising he’ll pay you back tenfold when in fact, he really, really hopes he can grow much more affectionate with you when time passes, until skin contact becomes a normal thing between the two of you.
JACK HOWL AS 
⤷ THE (ACTUALLY SMART) JOCK !
- people genuinely wonder in disbelief why he’s so taken aback by the number of students who swoon over him when they see him doing his daily sets of warm-ups in the gym by himself. his ear twitches in the slightest when he feels four—five, pairs of eyes burning right into his back.
- he’s a lone wolf to some extent- but that doesn’t mean he’ll drive away his friends who thrive to stretch right beside him, despite being a literal twig compared to jack. they’ll all do tons of sets together while emitting the roughest groans from their aching bodies until sweat is seeping ceaselessly out of their outfits.
unsurprisingly, jack is still up and full of stamina as he silently praises himself for not being as slow-minded as his friends since he changed into his p.e attire ahead of time. +10 health gained back for him.
- the coaches normally pick him out as the representative when international competitions are around the corner. with him representing the school, there’s definitely going to be headlines and news reports made about them! except when he actually wins it isn’t. people are seen firing bountiful praises online at jack for his athleticism for a 16 year old, in awe at how he always manages to place first.
- is more than happy to help anyone out when activities take a wrong turn and result in them being injured. whether if it’s being in a wheelchair or in crutches, he takes the opportunity to bring them to their destination on time.
YOUR DYNAMIC
- his eyes immediately dart to you when the teacher announces for everyone to form a pair for pre-activity stretching. he takes the lead to call out what set of stretches to do and helps to adjust your posture or the angle of wherever your arm is pointing to. his firm hands coming in contact with your body invites a quick rush of blood to your cheeks, startled with the sudden proximity that came about. it doesn’t help the fact that his steady breath is on your skin, unaware of his swift movements that he didn’t bat an eye to (why is he like this?)
- when all the physical stuff is done for the day, he’ll give you a small nudge on the shoulder and tell you he’s going to get some water. what took you aback was when you thought he was getting it for himself—being as hardworking as he is, it only makes sense to reward himself for putting up with you and your incapability with some activities.
 - but instead, he brings back two bottles of water, briskly handing one over to you before he open his. he makes sure to assure you that you weren’t a problem at all, and that you deserve a restful break after all your physical exertion.
- not just crazy athletic but simultaneously smart as well! but when his classmates ask for his homework answers in dire need to not be caught by the teacher, he hits them with a “you should’ve done it at home” and gets up from his seat to hand in his work. you don’t know whether to laugh or feel bad for that person. the student then gawks at both you and jack when he lets you in on his answers instead.
- even when he has an enormous fanbase full of people who adore him and wish to talk to him more just for the sake of it, he always makes sure to come to you first, to check in on your health, both mentally and physically, to know that you’re healthy and ready for the day. 
OCTATRIO AS 
⤷ THE POPULAR GROUP !
- as the owners of a lounge that’s quite far from school grounds with quality dishes you’ll never find anywhere else and their dashing looks that shoot an arrow right through people’s lovestruck hearts, it’s no wonder that their popularity skyrockets through the roof when you found out that they go here. you’ve seen a few of the posts they share on magicam—and they’re the perfect definition of young, beautiful, and dirty rich.
- people would kill to watch them pass by in the hallways of the very school they’re in. this trio, with their alluring cologne and clad in neat, tidy clothing that doesn’t even necessarily have to be of the latest trends but still making them look amazing—ambling in the bustling halls? suddenly, lessons were called off for the day and there’s no homework due the day after. the trio quietly snicker to each other in the process.
- there’s definitely a fangroup about them. all they could be doing was to order lunch at the school cafeteria, and the group chat students made based on them would turn wild when floyd faces back to give a sly “cheese~” at the camera that was facing his way.
YOUR DYNAMIC
- unfairly spoils you to death as they give you special discounts at the lounge, telling you that it doesn’t matter whatever you order, their vip customer is always getting 10% off the price. if that’s too low—azul’s more than willing to give you a better benefit. proceeding your easy-earned discounts, jade suggests that they carefully plan out a drink based off of you and your personality, questionable intentions in mind as he proposes the idea to make it the most expensive drink on the menu too.
- absolutely loves to have you sit at their table during break, letting you in on their latest gossip. the amount of intel that they collected on their recent “customer” that created a scene at the lounge for not being open when it clearly had its working hours placed at the entry is rather concerning. floyd gives a shameless wink your way and tells you to not reveal this treasured piece of information. (gaslight gatekeep girlboss)
- weekend sleepovers at their place consists of them researching the finest ingredients and dishes to add to the menu and them serving up some steaming platter for you to try your taste buds on to give some feedback on it.  well, including a small competition to win your heart over as well.
- people are flabbergasted at the amount of attention you receive from these three. “jealous” wasn’t a word too far off to describe their feelings either, and it wasn’t any better. you’d sometimes wonder whether it was a good idea to become friends with this particular trio.
but you can rest assured that they’ll handle with any bad outcomes that dares to come about, and if it’s regarding their large fanbase—they have just the solution. nobody would say no to rushing to the lounge and being up to date with the latest release of their newest dish that you so nicely tried out for them.
- even as the three of them secretly try their best to win your heart over, they’ll also make sure to check with your boundaries and query you if they ever pass the line of comfort. if that so happens anytime, they’ll apologise by doing whatever you want free of charge! they dote on you a whole ton, and truthfully, relish in the time they get to spend with you.
JAMIL VIPER AS
⤷ THE SKATER BOY !
- the student who’s effortlessly charismatic because of his chill and dismissive attitude. the teachers are either pulling their hair out because of him or praising him for being early to class as they spot him waiting outside with him and his rusty ipod he just found that’s been collecting dust in his storage room. he vaguely remembers it as a gift given by a loved one, hence, why he keeps it safe wherever he goes.
- comes to class ROCKING those white vans like okay??? i see you???
- concerning him and school as a whole—it’s just as if he slithers right by his classmates’ attention like how a snake slithers through grass. he’s awfully sly and nimble, skipping class just to head out to the skate park that’s spray painted in graffiti all over by some infamous artists. he personally doesn’t care—it just adds to his presence of mind and how much fun he’s going to have. self-skating sessions are a fresh breather for him, indifferent to his number of absences.
- and don’t forget the secret rush of ego he gets when people stop and stare to watch him do his challenging tricks over the ramps and metal railings. it’s mesmerising how his hair flows so prettily in the wind and the golden glow of the sunset that highlights his features, like, how some people dramatise, an angel fallen from the blinding heavens. jamil rolls his eyes behind their backs once he’s finished his set of tricks.
YOUR DYNAMIC 
- honestly didn’t think of you much when you two first met, but now his heart, baggy clothes, and skateboard are all yours.
- when you spot him alone in the corner of the classroom when it’s a free period, a smile inevitably creeps up his face and he gives a relaxed wave as you come up and say hi to him. you’ve always been rather interested in his music taste and what was playing on those ipods of his, so when you do make it noticeable to him, he takes out the left side of his earphones and places it in your ear for you, fingers brushing the shell of your ears. you hope he didn’t feel how boiling-hot it was.
- daily stop-bys at the vending machine to talk about hot shit. you both agreed to pay for the drinks for the other on some days and do the same back. he finds such a leisure time so precious and, as much as he’s having double thoughts about it, he’d very rather much spend his alone time with you than in a class filled with students. especially when the class clown is present. eugh.
- he’s memorised your go-to drinks by now, and whenever you’re absent from school, he makes an effort to walk to your place to tend to you and hand over your favourite beverage once you’re up and better than ever.
- texts you in the dead of the night, asking if you’d want to head over to the skate park with him there to teach you some tricks he’s learnt on his own accord. agreeing was probably the best thing you’ve done all day, with the built-up pressure you get to release on your time with him as he helps you get rid of your muscle strains. he holds your body close, keeping you balanced on his skateboard as the late night breeze whisks through your clothes and the luminous shine that comes from the stars above makes him feel grateful for being here, with you. alone and together with no one to interfere.
VIL SCHOENHEIT AS
⤷ THE SCHOOL TRENDSETTER !
- as you may have guessed, the student who has the largest following in the entire student body. to help maintain his public image—he makes sure to arrive to school glammed up, with smooth and silky hair he applied the perfect fragrance of rosemary oil on to and his latest combination of outfits that’s bound to go viral both on magicam and in the school. he makes it a habit to bring along his miniature makeup pouch with him wherever he goes!
- instantly gets a whopping 100 views on his latest story he posted on his account about the most recent addition to the school cafeteria’s menu. he’s hyper-aware of his calorie intake, so he probably criticises it in the caption. “0/10. doesn’t make my ass fatter than it is now”
- sometimes has to leave mid-class to attend his monthly photoshoot session. there’s no doubt he’d be starting to pack his things during class and his classmates would already have an idea on where he’s about to go. the close circle of his friend group promises to notify him about the homework that’s going to be due soon, and he makes sure to blend them an incredibly tasteful smoothie he heard about not too long ago in thanks.
YOUR DYNAMIC
- it just had to be one of those days where you’re at your worst. vil can tell as much from your gloomy behaviour and sloppy appearance that does your figure no favours. though he lets out a disapproving click of the tongue, he places his hand on your shoulder, reassuring you that whatever you’re going through will come and go. 
- and, he hands out this one-of-a-kind opportunity to even purchase whatever apparel from the hottest brands that’s to your liking for you. who could ever ask for a better offer?
- if things are still dour, he lets you stay in his room for the night. the type of supportive friend (he hopes not for long?) to give you reassuring affirmations that whoever broke your heart doesn’t deserve you (and he does). he wants you to know that you’re ethereal just the way you are, and you shouldn’t downgrade yourself just because of somebody or something you can pass by. there’s some vinyls he keeps at a shelf at the side of his room,
if you want to play a song of your choice on the record player, he’s more than delighted to let you.
- when annual prom nights are going to take place a few days away, vil rings up his model agency to call upon another fashionista to help out with your outfit for the stirring night you can’t sit still for. converses with the right person they picked out and makes decisions set in stone, with the exact measurements that compliment your figure along with a flawless colour.
he takes the chance to do your makeup for you, and you can’t tell whether it’s because he’s taken familiarity with your visage or to just get his face closer to yours just to fluster you. you’ve taken a wild guess that it’s both.
- once prom is over and the crowd starts to clear out, vil books a cab back to his place so you two can have your well-deserved baths for as long as you want, accompanied by his endless supply of skincare products. he loves seeing you grow and blossom into a better person. he’ll make sure to do it alongside you, until he actually claims your heart.
ROOK HUNT AS
⤷ THE THEATRE KID !
- a cheerful soul who skips through the halls while humming a tune from one of the latest musicals he watched. his seemingly never-ending glee that lights the hallways up in an eye-blinding radiance is beyond people’s comprehension. rook, frankly, doesn’t mind the stares he gathers from such a spaced-out area, as long as he does his other theatre friends good in promoting the drama club.
- people mostly catch him hanging around in the auditorium, sitting with the other club members as they take out their practise on vocalisation and in depth emotion building. newcomers of the club deeply look up to him, as the most passionate member of the club where all the roles he’s taken on has made his heart soar above the clouds.
- one of the volunteers who helped in producing the script for the upcoming play the club is putting together. he advances in dramatising the scripts if they’re too flat in tone or feeling, even adding the most unnecessary dialogues of french, which the majority of the cast doesn’t even know a lick of. though, he makes a vow to them to teach it until they’re all absolutely wasted to the point where practise wouldn’t even be going anywhere.
- works hand in hand with vil behind the stage, who helps to sew up suitable costumes and applying the makeup for the cast in the makeover studio.
YOUR DYNAMIC
- it’s utterly embarrassing—but he vocalises ALL his poems and thoughts about you that he recited back at his place to prepare for the public audience. by audience, I mean everyone at the cafeteria.
he sings all of the praises he’s been holding in since the day he made mere eye contact with you while standing on an occupied table, most likely taken by the misfits. he sees it as his own individual stage and seizes the opportunity in his hands. you’re dying to go hide in the nearest restroom.
- encourages you to audition for the latest play his club is planning, (secretly) wanting you to take up the role that jointly has a special form of relationship with his! he gives an overly joyful “that’s up to the judges!” when you ask him who would be playing the other role. how many times has he made you uneasy again? (you don’t want to admit that you do enjoy being with him.)
- he’ll make sure to schedule a period off to help you practise and perfect the script that was chosen for you in the empty auditorium. he eagerly savours the time he gets to hear you, your beautiful voice, out loud, like never ending music to his ears.
- aside from the dorms, he lives in a multimillion neighbourhood, and he would be ecstatic to bring you over to his place anytime. you’re slack-jawed the second you enter his home, a wealthy interior designed by specially chosen professionals just for his house. he drags you by the wrist to watch the latest musical that was released in the theater that his family chose to install.
- so—the set of people who were chosen for the roles are out? you’re glad, but rook is a leaping ball of sunshine when he takes a glance at the name list (as if he didn’t play a part in convincing the judges one way or another). he genuinely cannot wait to see you shining so brightly on stage, as he prepares a divine bouquet of roses he’s planning to give you once it’s all over to congratulate you for all the untiring effort you’ve put into this play.
SILVER AS
⤷ THE FLOATER !
- luckily for him, he wasn’t the type of student who garnered much attention after being transferred to the school. he’s received some greetings by those who actually mean it, but all in all is content with where he’s placed in for now.
- being a regular loner has him sitting outside on the unoccupied bench for him to eat his lunch. a simple but memorable ham and cheese sandwich which he remembers getting spoiled with from his caretaker since early childhood. he holds everything they do immensely close to his heart, thankful for having the utmost kindest person in the world to look after him. he’ll make sure to pay back for everything he’s indebted to when he’s older.
- with restless desires to grow familiar with the school grounds, he takes a small walk to the library and school store to send a salutation to riddle, the boy who’s in the same year as him and the shop’s very own Mr. S, a guy who’s devoted a ton of his life to this shop. silver thinks about how there’s so many sentimental people who wander this school, a little of the opposite of his stone-faced persona.
YOUR DYNAMIC
- he’ll admit, he was slightly taken aback when you fearlessly took a seat next to him on the bench when he wasn't on guard. he jumps a little, thinking there was a nearby predator who was ready to pounce on him any second. but no—it was another regular student who roams the school halls like any other. he’s never seen you before despite being the one who joined the school later—in fact, he’s never really been with a familiar face other than sebek.
- but you just smile and giggle at him when you notice his lost nature. ah, he felt a flare of life ignite in him with such unforeseen kindness being thrown at him. there’s no doubt he's going to be the slightest bit wary of you, but you take his uninterested course of actions as a yes and stay by him for the rest of the period. 
- you don’t make voice the fact that it was you who carefully placed the bundle of flowers on his head when he fell asleep on the arm rest.
- after a few months of hushed whispers and note-sharing in the middle of class, he presents the idea for the both of you to own your own personal diary to journal your daily happenings. a secret note-taker, between two hearts that flicker with a hint of trust for the other.
you both enjoy reading what the other has written for the day, and silver hopes that he’ll be able to point out the tiniest bit of a confession you could’ve possibly written down somewhere for him, as much as how insensitive he is.
- while classes are out and people start to take their leave, you and silver are to stay back to dutifully complete your classroom cleaning before the next day of lessons. who knew such a mere task could put the both of you in a difficult situation? you both reach your hand out to grab the duster to wipe the board, only for your fingers to graze each other as a spark of electricity courses through your bodies, feeling warmer than ever.
- when you’re finally done, it coincidentally starts pouring out of the blue. with the both of you standing at the school entrance, silver strips off his cardigan and uses it to shelter you, holding your figure close as the both of you run in the rain like your lives depend on it. he wishes you didn’t have to arrive at a gazebo so soon, he still wanted to see you, in his clothes for as long as he wanted.
MALLEUS DRACONIA AS
⤷ THE (NOT SO) SECRET ADMIRER !
- often gets recognised for his godly visuals, though he doesn’t pay much mind to them? yes, he makes an effort to keep himself presentable as a wielder of royal blood, but he doesn't see all the craze over his face. his aloofness only makes people swoon over him even more.
- he’s rather quiet in these busy halls. he charmingly excuses the person who accidentally bumped into him head-first, proceeding with his walk until he arrives and stops in front of one particular locker. onlookers goggle absently, thinking about what he’s doing in front of another person’s locker? his is way further away than where he is, so what..?
- malleus sighs in contempt when the bell indicating the next lesson’s beginning rings.
- class is dismissed for lunch and stays glued to his seat as he pulls out an ancient history book to pick up where he left on. his table is uncluttered, and he places the well-researched tome on his desk as he starts reading through its contents once again. nobody is aware of his hidden yearning for a specific person to come running by, catching him in their view through the window, saying the most, honey-sweet “hello!” anyone could ever dream of.
YOUR DYNAMIC
- it’s not much of a secret admirer at this point, when it’s so glaringly obvious who it is. as if he was starring in a Hollywood film, glances at all directions in his way to make sure no one was present to disrupt this long-awaited momentum. once again, he stops by at your locker to open it and set down the letter, inside. one that was signed off with his initials as he positions an aromal rose just beside it.
- with the help of his relatives who are comfortable with internet devices—he’s able to search up the latest trends of deserts and lattes from the nearest coffee shop that’s located somewhere near. he’ll ask you if you’d like to journey with him into the city to a particular eatery that grasped his fancy, he assures you that he has the money, and he made sure to reserve a seat on the balcony as well.
- daily alone time with him in the music room as he gracefully plays the violin for you that only makes you swerve his lane even more. with the doors shut and the curtains closed—not fully as to block the outside light—the most euphonious tunes fill the dim lit room as pure gold spill over the strings. an individual performance he dedicated all and just for you.
- when the end of the school year is near, he readies himself to confess to you with all his body and soul. he takes it upon himself to call up a meeting with you outside of school in the evening, just when the glorious sun starts to set.
he talks his promise, rubbing your deathly cold hands in his, and voices his words of honour to make you the most fortunate person alive to be with him. who could ever ask for a better confession?
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hwathinker · 2 months
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"aww, why are you crying baby? come on, i'm gonna take a break now can i?"
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pairings ; best friend!yunho x fem!reader warnings ; i don't think there is.. (i'm joking.. there's cockwarming, blowjobs(?), petnames) just yunho being a tease and annoying.. i really love the cocky + nerdy concept on yunho ;) wn ; hey! i finally got a free time today, so i decided to spend it on writing something. i'll be taking requests by the way! i'm hoping to see some smutty reqs from ya'll hahaha
"come on y/n, its not that hard to memories these shit." yunho said, poking your head which was buried to the book you were supposed to read. you had spent over an hour in his apartment, just for a study session. you also promised yourself to study for real this time but i guess the tiredness and laziness in you held you back. you shook your head aggressively, making him stop touching you. "y/n, we have a really tight schedule and i know you know that. plus our presentation is in 3 days. spend your time studying so you won't have to struggle to go out with me." you shot your head up as soon as yunho mentioned about going out. your parents doesn't really let you go out unless you do something great in school. but with pleasing them by doing house chores, you know you could get out easily. well, not every time.
"ugh.. how many times do i have to read these?!" pointing at the open book, you looked at him. "if you really want me to memories this then how about you?" you held the book up close to your face, shooting your eyes up to him then at the book back to make sure he isn't peeking. yunho sighed, letting go of his pen and turning to you. he looked at the book title, making a face to remember something. "well, physics huh.. what page are you in?" he asked, shifting his body and putting his arm on the table so that he can rest his head on his fist with his cheeks. you quickly went to the first page, knowing that he doesn't pay that much attention on a first page of a book. "uh.. page one. i'm not telling you what it is though." you said, burying your head to the book once again and shifting you gaze between the book and yunho every 4 seconds. yunho smiled, pretending to remember what was on the first page. "physics is the natural science of matter, involving the study of matter, its fundamental constituents, its motion and behavior through space and time, and the related entities of energy and force." you read what was on the page along with what he said, your eyes slowly going wide as he do.
"the fuck?! how in the earth did you remember every damn word in this one ass page?!" you slammed the green book on the table, going up close to him with rage in you. "i don't know, maybe i started to pay attention to the first page now. or maybe not, because i'm smart." he said, going back to his position and continue his revision. "or maybe.. you could help cover for me?" you said, leaning your head on the table as you puppy eyed him as you smile. yunho gave you a silent answer, which was a no. "come on yun, i know you like obeying me." you teased again, smiling ever so widely. "how about you study or i fuck that mouth off." he shift his gaze to you, placing down the pen under his palm.
you pouted, covering your face with your hand. yunho let out a small chuckle, grabbing you by your waist to get you more close. "i've never seen you this shy, y/n. you always fight back my teasings." he said, laying head head on the table too, close to your covered face. "i'd rather have a cock inside me for long enough than having to suck one that has a possibility of piss on it." you mumbled, hoping he won't hear a single thing when he's just right there, in front of you. yunho took your hand away from your face, meeting his eyes that was already staring at you. "do you want to try?" he bit his bottom lip, smiling lightly. you think, furrowing your eyebrows and pouting your lips. "i don't know. so you're hard?" you looked at his reddening face as your hand quickly went to his.. harden clothed dick. oh he is. yunho slaps your hand away quickly, holding them in his big ones. "suck it." he ordered, watching your smile grew wider. "why so needy? were you already planning this all along?" you said, shifting closer to him so there's no more space between the both of you. "sure. i'll do it. but you'll have to do a favor for me, too." you said again,getting up from the table and wait for him to strip. he stood up, sliding his sweats down and place them beside the table. but this time, he went to the sofa, sitting on it then leaning comfortably back while manspreading.
you looked at him with lust, his tongue going over his bottom lips, wetting them then biting them afterwards. he watches you walk towards him, your knee purposely hitting his crotch as you lean in to give his jaw a nice lingering kisses, to his lips. "how long have you been keeping this from me, hm?" you mumbled in the kiss, enjoying his taste. "ever since you appeared like a damn angel in front of me and decided to become my friend." he held your jaw with his hand, caressing them. you ran your hand from his bicep, down to his chest. gently touching every part as possible to make him shudder. you pulled away from the kiss, going down as he watches your every move. your tits, holding onto its dear life in the top you had. it looked like it want to pop out in any second you make a risky move. and your tight low rise jeans. ah, don't mention it anymore. he loves it when you wear that kind of clothes.
after you had took off his boxer, his dick sprung out, precum leaking to his base. "fuck, who are you going big for? me?" you said, grabbing his cock gently, kissing the pink aching tip. he hissed in pleasure, throwing his head back. "who else do i have to keep this dick for? of course it was for you, angel." oh god, that nickname has you every time. you licks his cock slowly, going down and fitting the whole base in your mouth. as you suck him off. him, on the other hand are sweating, tears started to form in that boy's eyes. he had his hands placed prettily under your chin so he has a better view while the other caress your hair ever so sweetly. he is this sweet when receiving a blowjob? oh you could do this everyday if it means he is. "mmh, such a good girl. other boys must not be this thick, right? i know you enjoy this so much, baby." he said in between moans, grunts. you swirl your tongue, making a popping sound when letting his cock go. he felt empty, and cold.
yunho pouted, watching his dick being held and watched by you. "y/n.. why did you do that? more please.." he begged, grabbing your free hand and holding them in his. "i want a favor back." you gently pump his cock, watching him biting his bottom lip. "what is it hm..?" he hummed, thinking about what you possibly want. you leaned and lay your cheeks on his cock, looking up to him. "i want you to cover for me for the presentation soon."
and that, you were being sat on his lap while he does his revision. your top thrown away even god don't know where, your jeans and red panties thrown at the sofa. now, you're being forced to sit on his dick that has cummed a few times because you moved a little. you were facing behind, hugging him so tightly, hoping to not make a certain move or he takes a break to play with your hardened tits again. i said, again. you shuddered at the feeling of his liquid constantly coming out and its touching your walls. "y/n baby, don't move please? i've said this a thousandth times already." as he put his pen down, he pulled you so that you're leaning on the edge of the table and facing him. "aww, why are you crying baby? come on, i'm can take a break now can i?"
--
hehe a small yunho smut for ya'll <3 i miss this man so much and have you seen his airport look? god damn i would devour every single inch of it. and have ya'll seen seonghwa's gianna boyfriend?? goshh if he's not putting a shirt on i'm gonna suck those tits LMAO lmk if theres any error guys.. and remember to drop some hot ass smut thoughts on my inbox please im beggin u
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twobluejeans · 9 months
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HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!
charles leclerc x famous!reader
summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.
part 5: relevancy, part 4: emo ponytail girl, part 3: dupeee, part 2: wtf does ET know?, part 1: don’t start
faceclaim: madison beer
ally’s radio 📻: PART 5! the drama goes on. a lot of tswift references 🫶
INSTAGRAM, july 12
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liked by tchalamet, tomholland2013, and 7,456,134 others
yourinstagram. thank u amsterdam for an incredible 2 nights, had so much fun here. also thank u to alyssa and cami who allowed me to post these photos of them on here, great song choice btw💋
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INSTAGRAM, july 13
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yourinstagram you asked for it, we listened: mother and i went back into the studio specifically to record more lana on snow on the beach. love u @honeymoon. it will be a part of the new midnights (til dawn edition) deluxe album that you can preorder now at my online website (link in bio!)
as many of you know, when i released midnights 7 months ago, the original concept was fun, dreamy, n honestly a reflection of how i felt at the time. after going through a rather tragic breakup, i cannot see the album the same anymore because it isn't how i feel. it's not me. i revised the entire project during some free time between tour with some amazing people, and in a way, i'm grateful for that breakup! it inspired two, beautiful songs and an edition of the album that you will all be hearing soon. to make a long story short: my new single you’re losing me will be out midnight, 7/17!
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TWITTER, july 13
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INSTAGRAM, july 13
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liked by charlesleclerc, lolaxcharles16, and 678,456 others
lolaransdell unapologetic
View all 234 comments
y/nslastkiss girl we can tell💀
grapejuicebluesy/n BYEEEE
verstappensainz55 girl u know what ur doing atp
selenagomezfan31 u wanna be her so bad 😭
INSTAGRAM STORIES, july 13
yourinstagram 29m
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yourinstagram 7m
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INSTAGRAM, july 14
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liked by sweetcreaturey/n, honeymoonleclerc, and 543,123 others
lolaransdell just an appreciation post 🤍
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charlidamelio i love you both so much!!
lolaleclerc16 you two are so adorable charles is so lucky
lolaransdell lolaleclerc16 i don't know ... I'm feeling like i hit the jackpot a bit more than he did :)
zenday/n lolaransdell definitely not babe 🔥🔥🔥
emmachamerlain my favorite couple i'm living for this
charlesandlolaupdates i still don't know who i wanna be more
lolaforce happy lola is my fave 🤍
daviastylessx you two are so cute 🥲 i'm glad you guys found each other especially after charles’s last relationship
lolaransdell davinastylessx i'm glad we found each other too! he makes me so happy and i try my best to do the same for him. we both have never felt love like this before
charlesforever lolaransdell ^ was that shade?
lolaransdell charlesforver no shade at all ! just being honest :)
TWITTER, july 14
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ally’s radio 📻: thus the birth of the revenge era. sorry this was a short chapter, but i couldn’t leave my children starved. next one is better.
taglist 🦢🪩: @incoherenciass@dakotali@405rry@topaz125@sassyheroneckgiant@hevburn@itsmytimetoodream@ivegotparticulartaste@crowdedimagines @asterianax @haydee5010@scenesofobx@christinabae@magical-spit@dessxoxsworld@myareadsbooks@honethatty12@hopefulinlove@diasnohibng@gentlemonsterjennie1@hummusxx@eugene-emt-roe@taestrwbrry @pejarma @cxcewg@chimchimjiminie16@glow-ish@allywthsr @millyswife @mrsmaybank13 @black-swan-blog27
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heavensentbabe · 1 year
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𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝚅𝙸𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 💭💭
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What I like about loassumption, is that you don't have to dwell on potential outcomes as 'what ifs' or 'what could've been'. You can revise, you can just embody a new state of having fulfilled whatever it is you wanted in the past. If you apply, and quit complaining about the old story, you'll find this liberating.
1. The old story doesn't exist anymore, you're completely removed from it. If it comes back to you in thoughts, correct it with the new story.
2. Don't worry, you're not practicing perfection. It's alright if you fall out of the new state and back into the old story again; you can spiral. Please allow yourself the space to make mistakes, allow yourself to be human. As long as you pick yourself up again.
3. As long as you keep consistently coming back to the new story, and stick with it, you're doing well. Wake up thinking from it, sleep thinking from it. Even the gap between morning and night, you're coming back to the state.
4. Relish in that new state, the same way you've always dwelled in negative states in the past. Marinade in the fact that you have all it is that you want, and you've already manifested it — creation is done!
5. Persist, persist, persist. So long as you don't allow the old story to be dominant anymore!
You're to be fully saturated with the new story. Whatever the hell you want, you have it. And that includes new memories, too. Revision can affect any tense. You can use it to continue a new current story, or change the story of past events.
ᴱˣᵃᵐᵖˡᵉˢ
• Don't like how that TV show ended? Revise it from the very first episode, to the details you didn't want. It ended exactly how you wanted it to end. It had the narrative you wanted it to have and everything about it is perfect now. Wow you're so powerful that you changed past events of a well known fictional series? Congratulations for using your god powerful abilities.
• You're anxious about the grades you'll get once the results come out? Revise your state; 'no I'm excited to get my grades because I know I did so well because I've always done well.' Of course you did well, of course you got distinctions. You always got distinctions. Your worst mark is an 80 % .
• You felt like your hair hasn't been healthy/ growing for years? Revise it. Your hair has always been healthy. You only have memories of people complimenting your hair.
• You're not comfortable in your body shape/appearance? Revise it. You were always meant to look the way that made you comfortable. Right now, you're so comfortable in your body and skin. You feel so content in your desired body, you look exactly the way that you feel about yourself now. Everything is perfect!
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘗𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐𝘵 𝘕𝘰𝘸, 𝘋𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘺
At the end of the day, think from when you woke in the morning. Where did you wake up? How did you wake up looking like? Is there a desired person beside you? Did you wake up in your desired mansion? What is your daily routine of your desired lifestyle? Did you go to your desired job?
You don't have to be that detailed about your daily revisions. As long as everyday you're living the life you wanted. You can revise in any technique. Visualizing how the day went, journaling it — writing it down in your diary, voice recording how your day went etc.
Please utilize it, it's so perfect if you have an issue with constantly embodying states or if you may have shitty days! And you don't just revise by the end of the days, you can revise on the spot!!
For example, let's say you're out & about and you're driving/walking passed advertising boards. And you're living in the end as a fashion model!
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Well, those boards you passed by had your face in them. You saw your face there and oh my god you're so famous because it's at least twelve boards you spotted your face in!
It can be really as simple as scrolling through your phone, and revising that every social platform you go to, you see people using your face as their avi.
Revision can be used in so many ways, don't waste it.
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lains-reality · 9 months
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hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day
you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol
basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.
anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.
i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.
because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.
now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).
i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.
anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)
this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)
firstly i want you to rest.
you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.
practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?
theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.
ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.
"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"
You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]
take a look at these meditations:
butter meditation
peace meditation
surrender meditation
un-identification exercise
crying meditation
i'd like you pick one of these exercises:
feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.
let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time
feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)
one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.
some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.
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"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"
here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.
"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"
don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.
you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!
the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.
when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?
this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.
the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.
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Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]
this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.
Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]
are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.
just KEEP IT SIMPLE!
i'd like to leave you with this.
Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]
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some extra resources
eft - health fear
eft - afraid to feel
we cannot practice letting go
heart of an emotion
i want to wake up with everything
hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)
trust yourself
"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."
health anon
apply
"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."
behaviour
letting thoughts and emotions pass
challenge yourself
stories
everything brings you back to your Self
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you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!
also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.
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chlorinecake · 5 months
Text
PART 3: GHOST FACE YANDERE imagine
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Blood OnIce | 얼음에 피 - a park sunghoon ff
⚡︎ cw: mentions of suicide and anxiety, bullying, violence involving guns and knives, character deaths, swearing, heavy petting/kissing, domestic abuse themes
⚡︎ genre: horror, psychological thriller, slow burn, angst
⚡︎ summary: new relationships blossom as you try to lead a normal life proceeding your abuser’s death, but what happens once a series of chilling phone calls disrupts your peace again?
⚡︎ wc: 15k (have fun with this hour long read lol) ~ previously...
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❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ now and then
Since the fateful day of his death, Sunghoon Park was infamously known for the heinous acts he so gallantly committed out of love for his late little sister.
For the most part, the identity’s involved in Sunghoon’s amateur high school killings to his eventually more-experienced university slaughters were publicly announced.
Those victims being Cha Jun-Hwan, Nakamura Kazuha, Maddison Dupont, as well as her twin brother Maxwell, and a few unnamed others.
News outlets gave you, Sunghoon’s deadly obsession in this horror story, the nickname V, as you played the role of his only victor, escaping the torture fest you endured for three months while his other victims could barely last an hour against his signature weapon:
A Buck 120 Hunting Knife.
Memories of the events that Sunghoon sent you through roamed within the darkness behind your drowsy eyes, and it didn’t help that he practically haunted every other aspect of your waking life.
You smelt him after scrubbing yourself near clean of your own skin.
You could hear his daunting voice in stolen moments of silence.
You saw his face behind every masked murderer in your nightmares.
His oh-so-handsomely crafted face.
You could only imagine how many more people would exalt his name as a Dahmer or Bundy after seeing it.
That kind of thing always bothered you...seeing people on social media praise murderous monsters as if they were worthy of admiration.
In the beginning, you always thought that “V” was short for victim, and it honestly enabled you to feel like one.
That is, up until Dr. Lee, who you always just called Heeseung, stepped in to help you recover.
Or… more accurately, forget.
"How long are you gonna let Sunghoon control your life?" He'd ask you in half-whisper, to which you'd only shrug in response.
It wasn't like you didn't want to get over everything that happened.
Hell, if it were possible, you���d want a complete brain-wipe of Sunghoon, but Heeseung tried everything that was clinically moral to help you.
Your treatment started with cognitive behavioral strategies that helped you associate your fears with the strength it took for you to both withstand and overcome them in reality.
Next, you went through imagery rehearsal therapy to get over the nightmares.
Multiple times a week, Heeseung would ask you to describe your nightmares in detail, drawing pictures or writing out the most vivid scenes as needed. Then, you would write out a changed version of the dream, mentally rehearsing the new imagery until your nightmares were replaced by it.
In all of your illustrated revisions, Sunghoon’s face was completely blurred out in black crayon, because in an ideal world, you wouldn't want to remember that face ever again.
And so, you didn't.
It was a rare medical phenomenon that your treatment resulted in you fully forgetting the face of your humanoid fear, but you still weren't quite ready to live normally.
Despite three months of therapy having passed, Heeseung still wanted to work with you in recovery for at least another half-year.
And this is the exact path that led to you and Heeseung developing into something a little more than friends. Something like occasional dinner dates with equally occasional kissing afterward.
On the lips, of course. That's where he liked kissing you the most.
Currently you were marked at three weeks on a prescribed medication for PTSD and anxiety patients, and you can't remember when you felt better.
There were a few side effects to the medicine, like declined appetite and wonky periods, but you’d rather take that over a potentially worse lifestyle without the meds.
You were finally getting your life back, and with Sunghoon officially out of the picture and new friends by your side, you had nothing to worry about.
Right?
➠ monday
2:11pm
The ways of a Café Royale worker came naturally to you, which is why your boss (aka the café owner) put you in charge of training the new employee, Lee Hyun-Seo, but you just called her Leeseo.
You had been training the young girl for over two weeks, yet she still struggled with the entry level basics, like handling restaurant grade coffee makers or properly handling a broom.
Despite how much of a slow learner she was, you and the staff decided to keep little Leeseo around.
One of the reasons being that her parents were struggling financially, and the girl just wanted to lend a hand with some of their bills.
The other reason was that Leeseo had a way of charming people, staff and costumers included—like a vessel of sunshine, she almost always had a smile on her face, and you commended her for that given everything she was going through at home.
“I can help!” Leeseo beamed, leaping to take the second tray of food and drinks you carried.
“Thanks, kiddo,” you chirped, finally using two hands to hold the tray.
“Ugh, what must I do for you to stop calling me that?” She whined, placing the steaming hot mugs on a costumer's table.
“Focus,” you said, pointing out how she nearly spilled a cup of black tea on someone’s lap.
You beelined back to the front counter, grabbing the plate of assorted sandwiches that just came out. “That’s for table 16,” Yunjin said, “and this is for the hottie at 23,” she continued, handing you a folded napkin.
“What, did he ask for math help?” You teased, observing her phone number jotted down in blue ink on the piece of paper.
“Just give it to him, alright?” She pleaded with frustration, turning back around to prepare the upcoming orders.
You hit up table 16 first before making your way toward table 23, where Nate was sitting. He was the same guy with dyed silver hair you met a few weeks ago, and since then, he had become a regular costumer at Café Royale.
The most you knew about him was that he enjoyed writing creatively, and was working on a piece to enter for a contest. He was also very passionate about his afternoon dose of caffeine, which you find rather odd at best…
You’d give it to Nate that he was a particularly attractive guy, but not worth doing anything unprofessional like… I don’t know, passing a customer your phone number at work?
“Good afternoon, Nate,” you smiled, handing him the napkin to which he immediately noticed its inky etchings.
“Damn, now I’m offended that you think I’m single,” he joked, eyes following the series of numbers on the paper.
“Trust me, I’m not your secret admirer,” you replied, pulling out your note pad to write, “What can I get for you today?”
“Oh, I had something at home. I just like writing here sometimes,” he smiled, closing his computer.
“Well, it must be something juicy if you won’t even let me see it.”
“Ugh, it’s in draft form right now! Give me a few days and I’ll be happy to show yo—“
“Focus, ____,” Leeseo interrupted as she walked by, showing off the $50 tip she just nabbed from table 16.
You sighed, both at Leeseo’s petty remark, your loss on 50 bucks, and Nate’s ability to enthrall your attention.
“Good luck editing,” you smiled, closing your notepad before getting back to work.
Nate had become a usual costumer ever since the first day you met about three months after you started working here.
You two grew particularly close, especially once he started staying back at the cafe during your night shifts to walk you to your car.
Whenever the sun set a few hours before your shift ended, he noticed how nervous you looked... staring outside the French café windows as if the starry night whispered threats.
If it weren’t for Heeseung, you wouldn’t even have a personal car to get you from point A to point B. He gave it to you as a gift once you started working.
He was able to pick you up for the first week of your job, but after that, he couldn’t make the commitment anymore given his own chaotic work schedule.
So, in typical Heeseung fashion, he bought you a whole freaking car, and he wouldn’t let you refuse his offer under any circumstances.
“Just take the damn keys, ____,” he’d chuckle, watching as you shyly did just that, walking over to the vehicle and taking your first spin.
Back to Nate though, he had a funny way of telling you “bye” on nights like those.
"Watch your back," he'd say, waving with arguably the most attractive smirk you've ever seen as you’d pull out of the driveway and head home safely.
Of course, you'd never admit that first part to Heeseung.
You read the order note that Yunjin just wrote from the last costumer: Two iced vanilla lattes with four mini dessert pops. As a waiter, you already expected that you’d do a lot more floor work than just placing food and drinks on a table here and there, so you took it upon yourself to help Yunjin out by fixing this order.
“Thank you BIG TIME,” Yunjin exclaimed, wiping off the counter near the register.
“Of course, you’ve stirred enough drinks for the both of us.”
“Pfft, I was talking about passing Nate my number, Strawberry Shortcake. Do you think he’ll actually call back?”
“Hmm, probably not… I think he said something about having a girlfriend already?”
“Liar! You berries and cream filled liar,” Yunjin teased, tossing a handful of blueberries at you.
“That doesn’t sound very PG,” you giggled back to her, eating one of the blueberries that landed on your workspace.
"Hey," Leeseo said shyly, tapping you on the shoulder, “I’m gonna step out for a bit, if that’s okay.”
“Mhm, you can’t fool me, iPad kid. Now focus, remember?”
“I am focusing, ____… Its just some girls came in from my school and I really don’t want them to mess with me at my job.”
You handed Leeseo a pair of tongs to grab the cake pops you needed, “I didn’t see any girls, Leeseo.”
The metal tongs clinked against the glass cake pop case, “I told you about them last week, ____… plus, girls like them are pretty hard to miss,” she whispered, pointing her head in their direction.
Pretty hard to miss? Yes, but basic modern day teenagers nonetheless? Double yes.
You tried not to make your peeking look so obvious, so you finished up the lattes and brought them to Leeseo’s classmates to get a closer look.
From their conversation, you could tell the two girls were talking crap about someone, thanks to stream of swear words that flew from their lip-sticked mouths. You placed their order down on the table, but they ignored you, daring to raise their voices even louder so you couldn’t get a “You’re welcome” in.
Yikes, you thought to yourself, thinking about the way your high school self, Maddison, and Kaz used to bash Wonyoung while she was in the same room.
“Aiko’s the short one with the eyeliner, and Maeve's the taller one with pink hair. Don’t let their looks fool you though… Aiko’s the real monster.” You remembered Leeseo telling you when you drove her home after training one time.
That was the same day Leeseo mixed up more than four orders and accidentally sweared in front of a little kid. He asked her for a breakfast croissant to which she replied, “Sorry, but you’re shit out of luck bud, we just ran out.”
Harmless mistake, I know, but the kid’s mother wasn’t too forgiving about it.
“Those girls from my school have been blowing up my phone with hate messages since I left school today… I swear they have nothing better to do with themselves…”
“And does that explain why you said “shit” to a little kid,” you asked.
“N-no, but, they’ve got my head in a bad place… My focus is probably ruined for the rest of the day now,” she sighed, washing the chocolate from her hands before sitting on the kitchen floor.
Leeseo found herself in the same place today, sitting on the kitchen floor as you brought Aiko and Maeve their cake pops before joining Leeseo on the ground.
“I knew a girl just like you when I was in high school,” you began, voice almost falling to a whisper, “Much like those girls out there, me and my friends treated people terribly, especially this one person.”
“So then what happened?” Leeseo asked, looking at you, even though your gaze fell to your lap, stuck in a daydream.
Memories that part of you wished you could forget resurfaced in your mind. You swallowed the lump in your throat, tightening your grip around nothing before answering.
“She killed herself.”
Leeseo’s eyes widened a little at your words, her chest raising differently as her breathing style changed.
You could tell she was shocked, as would anyone who heard such a thing.
She remained quiet as if waiting for you to say something else, and so you did.
“Hey, if you’d feel better hiding in the kitchen until they leave, you can.”
She looked up and smiled. “Thanks, ____!” She beamed, reaching in her pocket for her smartphone.
“Nuh uh, you’re still on shift, buddy, now help Yunjin out with the dishes!” You chuckled, heading to the front to deliver more orders.
Yunjin was the only other person you had told about Wonyoung and everything else.
It wasn’t intentional, but after having one to many egg nog shots at a Café Royale employee's function, you confessed as she drove you home.
You had grown comfortable with Yunjin knowing that dark part of your past, and even now with Leeseo, given that you’d always viewed her like a little sister.
Beep, beep.
It was a reminder on your phone that you'd set yesterday, saying that you had to meet with Heeseung at his place around 5pm.
Maybe the girls won't notice if I slip out for the day, you mischievously thought to yourself, hanging your work apron over the wall coat hook before sneaking out of the café undetected.
7:03pm
Traffic had you running late to Heeseung's place, but he wasn't to upset about it, given that he got held back at work an extra hour to sort files in his office. Needless to say, your dinner "date" ended up starting a little later than desired.
Even so, Heeseung made an effort to keep the night special, but it seemed as though your mind was in a different place at the time.
“You’ve barely touched your pasta,” Heeseung nudged, thinking of any way to start a conversation amidst the awkward silence.
“Oh, sorry! Yunjin brought me a coffee so my appetite’s a bit mild.”
“That’s okay, I’m really just trying to get you to say something,” he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his lovesick eyes. He just stared down at his plate, twirling the saucy red noodles around his fork.
“Uhm… well, how was work?” You tried, cringing at yourself.
Heeeseung put his fork down, wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin, “____, why’re you acting like a stranger all of a sudden? You’re always comfortable talking to me. Is it because I was late today?”
Your gaze fell to his lap where he sat with parted legs. Shit, stop peeking, you internally scolded yourself.
You're not sure what made you feel this way tonight, but your mind was on everything else but the pasta in front of you.
Was it the way he decided to cuff his sleeves today? No, he always wore his shirts like that. Maybe it was the way he occasionally tugged at the tie around his neck, or the little breaths he'd let out each time you crossed and uncrossed your legs, or the smirk he'd flash whenever you failed to hold eye contact with him for longer than five seconds.
“So I see you’d rather daydream about my dick than have a simple conversation with me,” He said, voice sounding offended yet prideful at the same time.
You shook your head at his words, biting your lip to keep in the embarrassed laugh that dared to slip past your mouth, “Sure, but you don’t have to say it like that.”
“Why not? I can tell you liked it,” He pressed, talking a sip of the white grape champagne in his wine glass, coating his peachy lips.
In all honesty, you've been sexually attracted to Heeseung since you first met him during one of the darkest stages of your life, and you couldn't help but feel bad about it.
Of course you appreciated him for other reasons, but at the end of the day, he’s your crush and mental health care provider all at once. You dreaded the idea of adding “fuck buddy” to that mix, and frankly, you weren’t sure you'd be able to handle it, despite already testing that boundary a few months ago at his freaking job of all places.
“There are just times when I feel like what you said might be true,” you answered, finally feeling comfortable enough to look him in the face.
“Times where you'd rather daydream about my dick than talk to me?”
“Heeseung!!”
“Fine, fine, I’ll stop,” He chuckled, his contagious bright smile making you laugh a little yourself, "So what is it?... That happens in your daydreams, I mean," he went on.
"In detail or the safe for work version?" You giggled again, honestly trying not to engage in his flirting for the sake of your own existence.
"I never noticed how pretty your laugh is when you're nervous and trying to hide it," he smiled, tilting his head at you.
"Oh and where'd you find that one, in a Rizzler's 101 Guide?" You teased, nudging his knee with yours.
"No, I really mean it," he smiled again, getting up from his seat and meeting you on the couch.
Gently cupping your face in his hands, he pulled you in for a kiss, which quickly led to a full blown make out session. You don't think you've ever felt hornier while kissing someone as you let out sounds you didn't even know you could make.
Heeseung's hand got lost under your shirt while yours were gripping at his neck, pulling him impossibly close to you. Your legs were hooked around his waist as he softly grinded against you, both of you feeling light headed just from the simple touches and sensations.
You wondered what it’d be like to go all the way, so you took off your top, and he followed after you, kissing down your neck as you clenched around nothing.
The warmth of his breath against your cold skin sent shivers down your spine, your fingers combing through his hair as if trying to calm his growing desire for you.
The little nips he left on your neck reminded you of the way Sunghoon used to wake you up from naps, but you tried to stay in the moment.
Heeseung held your waist with one hand while he slipped past your panties with the other, looking at your face for some kind of cue before touching you any further.
You let out a whine, feeling his fingertip barely graze your sweet spot before he started to rub it in circles.
“I love the little sounds you make for me,” he whispered, inserting two fingers with ease given how wet you were.
The words of Sunghoon echoed in the back of your mind, which was almost worse than actually seeing his face. As much as you wanted this moment with Heeseung, your mind was letting your past get in the way of it.
You felt your heart beat increase with each thrust of Heeseung’s fingers, his pouty lips latched to your skin as if he were a leech.
It all felt so good, but every time Sunghoon crossed your mind, you felt like screaming.
You tried keeping your eyes open so your mind couldn’t deceive you with images, but a certain thought resurfaced when you felt Heeseung pulling down your pants.
I’ll show you just how deranged I am.
“Stop! Stop it! G-get away from me!” You thrashed beneath Heeseung, causing him to jerk away immediately. He stared back at your shaking body in shock, trying to figure out what just happened and why.
“_-____, are...are you okay?” He asked sincerely, looking into your now teary eyes.
Your chest kept heaving as a mix of scary emotions started to build up at your core. “I’m sorry, Heeseung,” you sniffled, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I just... I can’t do this.”
“W-what do you mean? Can’t do what?” He asked again, putting his shirt back on and passing you yours.
“The touching stuff... I just-" you sighed, preparing yourself for his response, “I couldn't stop thinking about him.”
Heeseung knew exactly who you meant, despite you not being able to say his name.
“I understand what you’ve been through, ____, but I hate that it has to affect us even now. I thought you said you got over all that...”
You scoffed at his words, “Aren’t you the doctor here? That’s how trauma works, I’m afraid.”
You reached for your own top, snaking your head through the hole and fixing yourself on the couch.
He stared back at the pasta that now set awkwardly on the coffee table before you. As if your words went through one ear and out the other, he went on to ask, “Is there someone else?”
“What? No, Heeseung, I would never do that to you.”
“I get that, but would it really be all that bad? It’s not like we’re officially in a relationship.”
“Heeseung—”
“I know we’ve been through a lot together, and if you’re not ready for this kind of thing, I’ll move on, love.”
“Just because I’m not ready to be intimate with you?”
It was strange how just a few moments ago you were giggling only to now be turning cheeks at each other. The room fell silent for a few moments before Heeseung got up from his seat and handed you your purse, “You can go now.”
You blinked in disbelief, “You're kidding, right?”
“No. I want you out of here for the night. You need some space.”
“Are you sure this is about what I need?” You asked as he walked you to the door.
“Thanks for coming over. Have a good night, ____.” He whispered, not meeting your face before he closed the door behind you.
You felt confused as you stood outside his apartment, feet practically glued to his "Welcome In" doormat.
The irony, you thought to yourself.
You didn't wanna think about if there was something you could've said or done to change the way things went tonight.
Another oddity was that even though Heeseung was persistent on you continuing with therapy because he knew you weren't ready, he somehow expected you to at least trust him in that moment.
Maybe it was time for you to accept the fact that you'd never be normal... not after Sunghoon.
8:22pm
You went straight home after your argument with Heeseung, that is, if you could even call it that.
By now, you were very aware that guilt was one of your strongest emotions, so you felt the need to call Heeseung and leave things on a more positive note.
Or perhaps it was the only way you could try killing off the awkwardness burning in your veins.
Kicking your shoes off, you didn't bother to wash up before plopping your body on the couch, crossing your feet and typing in your phone password.
You went to your "Favorite" contacts list and pressed Heeseung's name, staring at the call option for a few moments before finally clicking it.
Boop... the dial tone rang.
Boop... the sound lingered a few more times before going to the voicemail option.
Ouch.
You instead opted to leave a voice message, rambling some simple (and apologetic) nonsense and pressing send.
He must've read it because three, hopeful dots appeared as you awaited his response... that never came.
Ring, ring, ring, your phone blared, an unknown caller daring to interrupt your silly love affair.
"Ugh," you sighed, hanging up before the number called again.
Ring, ring, ring.
We can all take a guess what your mind immediately thought of at the familiarly ominous ringtone.
Not wanting to feed into your own cowardice, you answered the call, hoping that it would somehow grant you a fleeting feeling of control.
"Long time no see, ____," the raspy voice slithered from the other end of the phone, laced with a craving for mischief.
You were a bit startled by the caller using your name.
"Sorry, but you're a little late with the Halloween pranks. Try again next year-"
"I was thinking, we should play a game."
Oh dear, not this shit again, you thought to yourself.
"Uh, I think you've got the movies mixed up, buddy. That line's from Saw," you replied, fighting back the giggle that danced in your throat.
The old you would've been trembling from a call such as this, but given the circumstances, you were glad for anything that would distract from your cringey thoughts of Heeseung.
"Hmm, I see you're still the scary movie type?" The voice snickered.
"Not at the moment. Right now, I'm more interested in this game of yours. Though, if it involves stripping, you can count me out early."
"Heheheh, don't worry. There's no stripping this time. I've learned from experience that you're not down for that kind of thing. On-top-of-the-clothes fun was always your favorite."
Your jaw clenched at his statement, making you curious to know who was behind the call this time, but you continued to play along.
"Okay, I'm listening."
"Perfect. It's called guess who's gonna get skewered like a fucking pig?"
"Whoo, we're jumping straight into the extremes, huh?"
"Absolutely! Extreme is my favorite," the voice went on, but you were now (re)distracted by thoughts of Heeseung, dumbly staring at the three dots on your phone screen that had yet to dissolve into a message.
"Hey, you still there?"
"Oop- Sorry... you must be boring me, I guess," you teased.
"You guess what?"
"Oh, I forgot we were playing a game," you chirped, sitting up straight now as if the caller was right in front of you, "Hmm, do I get any hints?"
"No, you're smart enough to guess without any."
"Fine," you exhaled, assuming that the answer was yourself. Preparing to perform, you cleared your throat in case you had to fake-cry, "My guess is some guy who probably watched the Scream movies one too many times."
"Well well well. Has my life been threatened by the very person who failed to take it?"
"W-what did you just say?"
"Aww, you almost sound excited about that. Do you miss me, princess?"
"Uhh, I don't know what you're talking about," your voice cracked at the dreadful nickname, a fear you haven't felt in months rumbling in your chest.
"Do you miss the way I made you feel?"
"I hope this isn't your idea of a funny prank, because the humor died after you asked about scary movies."
"You have a strange obsession with death, don't you ____? Answer me this: when was the last time you visited my grave? Or my sister's grave?"
"You're sick," you spat, raising your voice a little louder than intended.
"Mhm. That just means we have a lot more in common than you thought. Anyways, should I knock or just carve my way in-"
Boop, boop.
You cut the call, immediately blocking the number and running to your bedroom, locking the door behind you.
As if it were a shield, you hopped in your bed, tucking the covers over your head and squeezing your eyes shut.
Albeit, you were now well distracted from any thoughts of Heeseung, but unfortunately, something far more daunting than a pasta party gone wrong took its place.
➠ tuesday
9:15am
You had work at the café early the next morning, and didn't get much sleep after that unexpected call. To no surprise, Heeseung never texted you back, but again, that's not really something you were worried about at the time.
Nate was already at the café when you got there, earlier than his usual time, but you took it upon yourself to serve him before Yunjin could step in to play the role of her own cupid.
"Morning, Nate! Don't tell me you already had something before you came here," you teased.
"Hey, and no, not this time heheheh."
That laugh... were you being paranoid?
"I'll have a black coffee... and maybe something sweet if you wanna surprise me," he smiled before noticing that you looked a little off, "Hey, is everything alright? You don't look too good."
You shifted in your stance, trying to stay in character of the happy waitress he knew you to be, "Oh- yeah, I just didn't get much rest last night. Who knew caffeine was so anti-sleep?"
Ding.
The café door bell rang as a trio of elderly ladies walked in... the same ones Yunjin accused of Karenism after you abandoned ship yesterday.
You didn't want her to have to serve them so you turned in Nate's order so you could take their's.
Leeseo wasn't in work today because she had school, so some guy (who's name you could barely remember) took her place, and boy was he a lifesaver in the kitchen.
He had the older ladies and Nate's order made within minutes, handing you the trays in each hand as Yunjin busied herself doing who knows what.
"Here’s your black coffee and a tiramisu square,” you chirped, placing the mug and plate beside his laptop, “I know you’ve tried this one before, but I really think it suits you.”
“Aww, thanks, ____,” he pouted playfully, “How can I ever repay you for such kind deeds?”
Your gaze immediately fell to Nate’s delicate fingers that rested idly near his keyboard.
“Your story. I wanna see it,” you said plainly, tucking the serving tray under your arm and peeking over his shoulder.
“You’re joking,” he said, slightly closing his computer.
“Aww, c’mon! I’ve been dying to read it! If you make me wait any longer I might literally combust!”
“Fine, okay, I’ll show you,” he sighed, playfully rolling his eyes, “but only because I wouldn’t want anyone to clean up your gory remains.”
He moved his coffee out of the way to prevent any accidents, slowly lifting his computer back up for you to see, “Promise you won’t judge me? Like I said, it’s in draft form—”
“I promise, Nate, now stop stalling,” you giggled, squinting your eyes at the tiny words that filled the screen.
You caught sight of the words ghost face, suicide, and revenge almost immediately, your body language clearly exhibiting how you felt on the inside.
“Is it really that bad,” the platinum haired boy asked with furrowed brows, taking in your now disgusted demeanor.
“I… this is unbelievable…”
“Just give it a chance, ____! Trust me, the plot gets better in the next chapter, when the main character finally realizes that the guy behind the mask was the party host all along—”
"What are you, some kind of sick freak?” You interrupted him, careful not to show your anger as you closed his computer shut.
“I… I’m sorry, what?”
“How much do you know?" You went on, slightly raising your voice.
“____, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he almost laughed, trying to shake off how nervous you were making him feel.
“You’re the pervert who called me last night, aren’t you?”
“____, please calm down, you’re scaring me,” he pleaded, standing up from his seat and placing his hands on your shoulders.
Everything in you wanted to push him away, but once the glares from the surrounding costumers and Yunjin entered your field of vision, you simply backed away, swallowing the anger that bubbled within you.
You reached to take off your apron to which Yunjin immediately scolded you, “Nuh uh, you’re not getting away that easily… Get over here, now.”
Letting out a sigh, you looked at Nate with both confusion and shame, walking behind the café counter to where Yunjin was standing.
“What was that all about?” She asked, shaking your shoulder, “Huh? You’re making me look bad in front of my crush, y’know?”
“I got a call last night. A ghost face call,” you whispered, fighting back the tears meddling with your eyes, “It could’ve been a prank, but it seemed so real.”
She took your hand, guiding you into the kitchen where prying eyes and nosey ears couldn’t interfere.
“And you think it was Nate?”
“He’s writing an entire story about it, Jinnie! I can’t be crazy for drawing that conclusion!”
“And you’re not crazy… probably just a little hangry… and sleep deprived,” she smiled, handing you a cookie you didn’t even realize she was holding til now, “Eat it.”
“B-but the chocolate’s all melted.”
“Eat it, ____,” she giggled, shoving the cookie past your lips and into your mouth.
“Ahh, what the heck!”
“Hey, don’t talk with your mouth full,” she grinned, dusting the cookie crumbs on her apron, “now hurry up and finish that… we’ve got a lot more costumers to serve before our shifts ends."
12:16pm
Later that day, you somehow found the balls to apologize to Nate for blowing up on him. You didn’t expect him to be so forgiving, especially considering that you literally accused him of harassing you.
During the brief apology, you explained to him everything you went through in the past, apologizing again for trauma dumping on him. But, like always, he was very understanding, even laughing it off by saying he’s grown used to people having dramatic responses to his art.
“So, you’re V?” He asked, walking beside you as you made your way back to work from your lunch break.
“I’m what?”
“You know, V. Sunghoon’s survivor.”
You usually didn’t like your name being used synonymously with Sunghoon’s, but this time, you didn’t mind as much. Maybe that had something to do with Nate’s undeniable charm.
“Yeah, I-I guess I am,” you half-smiled, walking a bit slower as you weren’t quite ready to leave his side, “Why were you so fascinated by that story, anyway?”
He hummed in thought, looking at the sky before answering, “I’ve got a pretty messed up past, myself, y’know? I hate that certain things turned out the way the did, but it helped to shape me into who I am today.”
“And who’s that, if you don’t mind me asking. Who are you?”
He smiled, licking his teeth at how catty your voice sounded, “I’m an attractive guy with an ugly little kid who’s both obsessed and afraid of death hiding behind it all.”
“Explain that for me.”
“Only if you’re ready,” he said, a silence meddling between you two before you nodded, cueing for him to continue.
“When I was younger, some guys broke into my parents house while my mom and I were solving a puzzle in the kitchen. She hid me in the cabinet, but didn’t have enough time to hide herself before the burglars shot her straight in the chest. That’s just the short version, but part of me hasn’t been the same since then,” he paused, taking in a breath before continuing.
“I know she’d want me to lead a normal life after everything that happened, but I’m still attached to the darkness I saw. It’s a part of me now.”
You were trying not to show it on your face, but you weren’t expecting a guy like Nate to have gone through so much. He handled his pain a lot better than you ever could, and you both envied and admired him for it.
“Sorry, I know that was a lot to take in,” he sighed, sticking his hands in his pocket.
“Nate, I literally just told you that a serial killer held me captive for months while I carried his baby. You’re good,” you chuckled, nudging him on the shoulder.
You two bonded on other things like your experiences with therapy, sharing with him the medication you’d been taking to help with your anxiety.
“I don’t know, ____. I took that same stuff when I was a kid and it fucked me up bad… I’m sure you’ve been having adverse symptoms from it, right?” he frowned, walking up to the café entry with your hand in his.
Ding.
The bell jingled behind you, gracing both your senses with sweet aromas.
“Yeah, actually… I have.”
“So. You can choose to follow doctors orders or take my advice instead. The choice is yours,” he shrugged, letting go of your hand at the sight of Yunjin coming from around the counter.
She wasn’t oblivious to you two holding hands, but it didn’t bother her much anyways.
“Welcome back, strangers. I see you’re both on good terms now? No more witch hunts?”
“No more witch hunts,” Nate confirmed with a smirk, showcasing the faint dimple on one of his cheeks.
➠ wednesday
6:49am
Screech.
The sound of iceskates gliding across a frosty arena filled your ears.
The audience of chilly bodies was silent, eyes gawking in awe at the sight of the skilled dancer practically controlling gravity itself.
It was astounding how skilled this faceless skater was.
You were very much aware that you were currently in a dream, thanks to the mere fact that you’d never actually attend a figure skating show in real life.
Not that you had something against the sport…you just simply couldn’t handle the thoughts that came with it anymore.
Knock, knock, knock.
And in typical dream fashion, you teleported to an entirely different space within seconds, in this case, your apartment kitchen.
Pacing to the front door, you slung it open to reveal a quaint cardboard package lying on the ground.
You picked up the box, walking over to the kitchen counter before placing it down and grabbing a knife to cut through the packaging tape.
Flipping over the cardboard flabs, you were met with the sight of a tiny red sequined dress and a devil horned headband tucked neatly beside it.
Kazuha, you instantly thought to yourself.
“Remember this?” A gentle voice chirped, pulling you from your thoughts.
You whipped your head to see none other than a figment of the late Wonyoung. Even after all your treatment, you could never forget how beautiful she was… even your dream managed to capture the ethereal essence of her beauty.
She held a blue pregnancy test kit in her hand, dressed in the same school uniform she’d always wear, her pink lace socks resting at her dainty ankles.
“Wonyoung?” You asked in shock.
“The one and only. My brother did a good job of making sure you never forgot about me,” she said with a pout, making your own mood fall.
“I could never forget you, Wonnie. No matter how desperately I might’ve tried to.”
She smiled at your words, taking a few steps closer to you, “I haven’t been called that in a while… anyways, the pack said it only came with one test, but it gave me two instead. Trust me when I say you might need this later.”
You nodded in response, putting the test in your kitchen cabinet and closing the box with Kazuha’s costume in it.
“Hey, not so fast!! I wanted to try that on, y’know?
“Kaz!” You nearly yelped, running into her arms and giving her a hug.
“Okay okay, I missed you too, ____, but chill out with the PDA. I have a strict no-homo rule,” she chuckled, kissing you on the cheek anyways.
“Sooo you and Wonyoung get along now?”
“Surprisingly, yes. When you’re dead, I guess grudges just matter less to you. It’s easier to forgive than to hang on to that kind of pain,” she sighed, propping herself on the counter.
“Speaking of the dead,” you began curiously, “how is he? Sunghoon, I mean….”
The light presence in the room suddenly faltered at your mentioning of his name, Kazuha and Wonyoung exchanging troubled looks to each other before meeting your frame with forlorn eyes.
“W-what is it? Did something happen?” You pressed, sensing the dark cloud that slowly engulfed the three of you in the now dull kitchen space.
Wonyoung fidgeted with the beaded bracelet on her wrist before answering you with a shaky breath.
“Sunghoon isn’t here with us.”
Beep, beep, beep.
Awaking from your dream as if struck by lightening, you reached out a hand at the sound of your vibrating phone rumbling against your nightstand, revealing Heeseung’s contact flashing on your screen.
It was now 7 o’clock on the dot.
“Heeseung?” You asked in a groggy voice, rubbing your eyes from how brightly the sun shone from your bedroom window.
“Hi, I’m standing outside your door right now. Are you home? I knocked over ten minutes ago—”
Boop, boop.
You abruptly cut the call, putting on a pair of shorts (since you slept only in your panties), as you ran to answer the door.
Heeseung was standing there in a very nice outfit, but your current emotions weren’t interested in the slightest.
You practically leaped on him, shaking his shoulders with crazy eyes as you spit out words you yourself could hardly keep up with.
“Sunghoon!! H-he’s- He’s still alive, Heeseung! He never died! That… ugh, that means he's still out there! He's wants me dead, Heeseung! That explains everything!!"
“____, slow down. I can hardly understand a word you’re saying,” he chuckled, cupping your face in his hands, “breathe for me, okay?”
“I- I am breathing, Heeseung,” you sighed, anxiety pumping stronger in your veins than oxygen.
“I know,” he smiled, kissing you on the nose, “can I come in so you can tell me everything?”
You let him inside, taking a seat on your living room couch as he helped himself to fixing both of you a cup of coffee as if you were his guest.
“It was a dream, but… it all felt so real.”
“And I get that, but you know you’re not supposed to entertain those sorts of thoughts,” he half frowned, placing the warm mugs on the coffee table before you, “Now be honest with me, did you want to stay in the dream? Did part of you maybe want to think about Sunghoon?”
“Heeseung-“
“You know I have to ask these questions, ____. What kind of answers were you looking for?”
He peered into your eyes as if searching you for the words you were too afraid to say.
That’s when your phone blared with a text from Yunjin.
“Oh, crap!” you pouted, swiping the message on your phone, “I’ve gotta get ready for work in a few minutes…”
Heeseung tried to maintain his cool demeanor, “Well, can we at least finish our coffee first before you abandon me?”
“Of course, Hee,” you smiled, taking a sip of the milky beverage, “what were you doing here so early, anyway?”
He almost appeared to be caught off guard by your question, but you brushed off the suspicion, blaming it on the dream you’d just had.
“Oh- don’t worry about that now. Let’s just enjoy this moment before you go off to serve the fellow coffee-holics in our city.”
Yes, you and Heeseung often behaved as if you were in a seriously committed relationship, but at the end of the day, there was no label between you two.
A few more minutes passed, and your mugs were empty.
“Thanks for stopping by, Heeseung, but I’ve gotta get ready,” you smiled, walking him to your front door.
“You’re welcome, ____. And by the way, I saw your message. I really appreciate you being mature about everything, and I hope that you forgive me for the way I acted,” he said as you slowly closed the door in front of him, beelining to your bathroom to brush away your coffee breath.
2:47pm
Café Royale was closing early for the day as inspections were scheduled during your afternoon shift, so your entire team had the rest of the day off.
You decided to stay back to do some last-minute tidying before you’d leave.
All there was left to do was throw out the table flower water and leave a note for the inspectors.
That’s when you heard a thud against the back wall of the kitchen, high-pitched pleas falling from a familiar voice.
Leeseo.
You dropped the the flower vase, not caring that it shattered on the ground as you made a run toward the door, following the ruckus outside.
On the side of the bakery, you found the two girls from the restaurant pinning Leeseo against the wall while a girl you didn’t quite recognize recorded the ordeal.
Leeseo’s eyes were squeezed shut as the girl brought the camera closer to her face, “Don’t act all shy now, slut. We know how much you like being on camera,” Maeve cackled.
The part of you that would usually freeze in moments like this had died with Wonyoung.
You marched towards the girl recording, snatching the phone from her hand before launching it into the nearby parking lot.
“What the fuck,” she exclaimed before cowardly backing away. You yanked Aiko away from Leeseo, grabbing her face in your hand.
The two other girls were already making a run for it as your grip on Aiko's face tightened, causing her to wince at the feeling.
“Aren’t you like a grown woman or something? Get your hands off me!!” She squealed, possibly forgetting how to use her arms as she fought dumbly trying to escape your hold.
“I hope you didn’t think that shit was funny,” you said, observing her dull blue eyes.
There was nothing behind them, complete emptiness.
Much like Maddison, you thought to yourself.
“You leave Leeseo alone from now on, alright? She’s a hard working girl and doesn’t need punks like you making her life more difficult.”
Aiko's gaze darted between you and Leeseo who stood awkwardly in front of the wall, “An innocent, hard-working girl, huh? Wow... you really are two-faced.”
“I don’t think you answered her question,” Leeseo pitched.
Aiko only laughed in response, blinking a few times before answering, “Like I said, get your fucking hands off me, or there’s gonna be a serious problem,” she taunted, titled her head before you let go, watching as she walked away.
“See you at school, Flash,” she smiled, disappearing behind a corner.
“What’d she just call you?”
“Nothing!” Leeseo responded, a bit louder than planned.
“Don’t lie to me, kiddo. What does that name mean?”
“It means I’m a slut, okay? Just like they said,” she sighed, picking up her apron that the girls had thrown on the ground earlier, “a stupid slut that sends stupid photos to stupid boys who tell stupid girls.”
You couldn’t think of anything else to say to her in the moment, as you’re sure she had heard enough of your advice.
All you did was pull her in for a hug, running a hand through her hair as she fought with the lump growing in her throat.
“You are not a stupid slut, Leeseo. You’re a teenage girl just trying to survive in this world,” you encouraged, breaking from the embrace.
That’s when you noticed Nate from afar, walking closer as you and Leeseo tried to recollect yourself.
“What was that all about?” He asked, giving Leeseo a side hug as she hid her face from him shyly.
“Depends, how much did you see?”
“Well, I saw you get all handsy with that high schooler who was harassing our girl over here,” he huffed, “you okay, Sissy?”
“Yeah, Nate, I’m fine,” she nearly whispered, crossing her arms.
“Look, Nate, I’m not usually that aggressive. I just couldn’t hold back when I saw-"
“____, stop your rambling,” he smiled, bringing a finger to your lip for a moment, “You were fucking amazing. Most girls wouldn’t have reacted the way you did, and I’m sure Leeseo is grateful that you stood up for her.”
You felt you stomach flutter at his words, or maybe it was whatever compelled him to touch your lips.
“Yeah, Nate’s right. You’re like… kind of a badass now.”
“Oh, only kind of,” you chuckled, nudging her waist.
“Yeah, because you let her go.”
Nate nodded in agreement with Leeseo, shrugging his shoulders in a teasing way, “She does have a point there, ____.”
“Well, it’s important to end your battles just as wisely as you pick them,” you said, the three of you walking towards the parking lot.
“Well said, Yoda,” Nate teased, making eye contact with you before speaking, “so, you doing anything after this?”
“Yeah, I’ve gotta clean up some glass I dropped in the shop, but I’ll text you later if I can meet up.”
“Okay,” he smiled, giving you and Leeseo both one last hug before heading back to wherever he came from, “Stay out of trouble, you guys!”
“We’ll try,” Leeseo called out, walking towards the cafe.
“Hey, you’re off for the day. Enjoy your time-off.”
“I will… after I return the favor,” she winked, heading towards the utility unit and grabbing a broom.
10:15pm
Despite having gotten off from work early, you still felt a little worn out from a certain series of events that occurred earlier. So, you decided to calm yourself down with a nice evening bath before bed.
After blow drying your hair, you proceeded with some simple skincare steps before finally ended with moisturizer.
That’s when you got a call from Yunjin. She was never one to call you this late, so you answered the call, hoping that everything was okay on her end.
“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, holding the phone to your ear as you closed your container of face cream.
“Oh my God, someone’s trying to kill me!”
“You’re joking.”
“No, I’m dead serious. Poor choice of words, but I’ve been running for five minutes and I’m about to give up,” she said, voice starting to crack, “…I thought it was funny at first, but now I’m really scared.”
“Oh my God, do you still see them?” You asked again, clutching to your phone.
“No, but I can hear their feet… I’m so fucking scared, ____.”
“I know, Jinnie. Where are you?”
“In the neighborhood-“
“Okay, I’m calling the police-“
“No, ____, don’t hang up!”
“Yunjin, I HAVE to.”
“Please don’t! I already tried but they sent me to the holding line… I just need to hear your voice right now, okay?”
“This is ridiculous! Your life is on the line here, I have to do something!” You cried, heart racing with your feet as you rushed to put on your coat, grabbing your car keys, “I’m gonna call them right now.”
“F-fuck, fuck, fuck,” she stammered, starting to sob, “you really shouldn’t hang up right now, ____.”
“Everything is going to be okay, Yunjin, just keep talking to me, I’m on my way to you!” You panted, running to your car without even making sure your apartment door was locked. “Do you still hear them?”
“Yes, and they’re getting faster! I don’t know what to do,” she said, choking on her own breath.
“Yunjin, sweetie, I need you to calm down. Your nerves are only going to make things worse.”
“What the fuck, ____, I’m gonna die!!”
“Fuck, Yunjin, don’t say that! Look around, is there anywhere you can hide? Any possible weapons?”
“No, I can’t see shit out here!!”
“Wait- I think I see you,” you said, zipping down the street.
“Is that your car? AHHH!”
“Yunjin!?!! What happened?!?!”
“I tripped- ugh, fuck…,” she sobbed, getting up with adrenaline until she caught a glimpse of the cherry colored blood dripping down her leg, making her feel lightheaded.
“Yunjin, are you okay?”
“Eugh- yeah,“ she groaned, “I just can’t feel my fucking legs… hurry!!”
“Shit, I lost you…,” you cursed under your breath until it hit you, “WAVE YOUR PHONE AROUND ON FLASH!”
“I- o-okay, okay!” She stuttered, fumbling with the phone in her hand as she put on the flash and did as you said.
You saw the faint white light radiating from her smartphone about three houses ahead of you.
Slamming your foot on the gas, you nearly flew down the street, a screeching sound echoing from your tires.
Your brakes came to a clean stop as you drifted around the corner, rolling down your car windows.
“Hurry, get in, get in!”
Yunjin only nodded as she ran toward the car, shoulder jerking as the car door resisted in opening.
“What the fuck, ____, unlock the damn door!!”
“Fuck, I did!!” You cried, frantically pressing the unlock button.
Quick thinking kicked in as Yunjin opted for the window, crawling in desperately as the hooded and masked figure sprinted towards your vehicle from behind her.
You reached out your hand to pull Yunjin’s body into the car the rest of the way before zooming off, the crazy killer having gotten just close enough to graze her calf with his blade.
“Hughh,” She exhaled, struggling to get a hold of her breath, “how does he know you?”
Darting through the neighborhood, you tried your best to escape the psycho, even though he didn’t have a chance to catch up with you on foot.
“W- what? What do you mean?”
“The guy in the mask, he said that he was gonna kill me because of YOU, ____! Holy shit, and he was tall as fuck with that freaky ass voice you were telling me about… And there was another girl out tonight! Oh my God, I bet he went after her too!”
“Another girl??” your voice raised slightly, "w-what'd she look like?"
"She's... I've seen her before... that kid... the one from Leeseo's school who comes around the café sometimes."
"Maeve?"
"No, not her... the prettier one."
You didn't wanna think about how Aiko was likely running for her life outside right now, but it was too late to turn around, so you distracted yourself by something else, “…how’s your leg doing?”
“Fine,” she whined, wiping the tears of black mascara that painted her cheeks.
“I don’t feel safe anymore,” she continued, shaking her head as her lower lip quivered, “none of us should…”
“I know, Yunjin.”
“You keep saying that, but I get the feeling there are a lot of things you’re late on clearing up about this, ____. Help me know, too.”
Your chest raised as you took a deep breath, letting out a sigh before answering, “that guy tonight…. I can’t say that I’m sure, but I think it’s Heeseung.”
“Your boyfriend,” she asked confused.
“He’s not my boyfriend, Jinnie.”
“Yeah, and I also doubt he’s a fucking psychopath. Isn’t he a doctor? He helps people for a living, you know?”
“Fuck, Yunjin, he’s the only other person who knows the full story. It just makes sense.”
Silence filled the car for a moment.
“Okay, now THIS is ridiculous. For the love of God, could you think of any other person that would possibly wanna torture us like this,” Yunjin nagged, looking at you as your eyes were still trained on the road.
“It… it could be… I’m just guessing, but… Sunghoon?”
“Huh,” Yunjin scoffed in disbelief, “So your dead boyfriend?”
“Whatever you wanna call it,” you replied sharply, feeling frustrated from life itself.
“Great, so what do we do about him now? How do we beat the final boss?”
Your grip around the steering wheel tightened as both fear and shame rose in your gut. You dreaded the moment you shared your past with Yunjin, and you dreaded the guilt that came with her almost losing her life because of it.
You took a deep breath and focused your eyes on the road, trying to fight back the tears that dared to spill from your terrorized eyes.
“We tell Nate,” you said, making a U-turn as you trailed down the road.
"Right, the computer obsessed nerd who drinks way too much coffee...” she cheered facetiously before continuing, “oh, and do you have an aspirin with you by any chance?"
"No. Here, drink this for now," you said, handing her the water bottle from your car door that you don't even remember purchasing.
She shook her head, taking a long sip from the bottle before resting it between her legs, "All I know is that this costume party better be fucking worth it."
➠ thursday
2:26am
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3:43pm
You took Nate up on his previous offer to hang out and decided to invite him to have drinks with you and Yunjin at the local outdoor tea shop. That's where you two decided to tell him everything that happened the other night.
“I just... I don’t know what to do anymore, Nate," you frowned, stirring the tapioca pearls at the bottom of your cup.
“Every problem has a solution, ____. Your goal is to have your normal life back, right?”
“Yes, you know that, Nate. All I've wanted for the past few months is a slice of normalcy.”
He looked at Yunjin, whose facial expression mirrored the frown you wore, trying to come up with something, if anything at all, to grant you this craved slice of the ordinary.
“Fine. I have an idea in mind, but you might think it's a little crazy.”
"Crazier than looking over your shoulder every five seconds in fear of some punk with a knife kink," Yunjin asked in a goofy tone.
"Not quite," he began, taking a sip of his tea before continuing, "I've been meaning to throw this Halloween party at my house for a while. I'll text you all the updates if you're interested, but people will be wearing costumes."
"You're solution is a fashionably belated adult dress-up party?" Yunjin asked, yet stated in disapproval.
"Exactly. It'll be fun and best of all, normal. Obviously there's no pressure for you two to come, it was just an... a dumb idea, I guess-"
"No!" You excitedly interjected in Nate's defense, "That's actually a really great idea, Nate! We're young adults for crying out loud. Silly parties are literally a defining point of our culture."
You're not sure what got into you, but Kazuha would be proud of your willingness to mingle if she was here. Despite your past experiences with costume parties and undeniable intorvertism, you weren't gonna let some masked goon get in the way of your chance at feeling normal again, even if it was only for a few hours.
Yunjin cocked an eyebrow at you in confusion and concern, "I don't know, ____. Being in an environment like that can disturb your recovery. Plus, I'm not sure if that's the safest idea either, considering how that midnight prankster literally cut me."
"We'll be together the entire time," Nate bud in, "I'm a pretty strong guy, y'know? And from what I've seen, ____ here can be pretty badass when it comes to defense."
You tried not to laugh at the memory of Aiko and Leeseo's parking lot showdown yesterday. It flattered you that Nate viewed your protectiveness as a sign of courage, even though you might've gotten a little carried away.
"Uhmmmm, she's blushing... Why is she blushing?! ____, did something happen that I don't know about? Nate, for the love of God, would you please stop smirking!!" Yunjin huffed, dying to know about this obvious inside joke Nate just told.
"I'm not smirking," he lied, chuckling at Yunjin's words as he struggled to look her in the face out of embarrassment.
"We're not hiding anyyyything. Right Nate?" You giggled, flashing him a corny wink.
Yunjin rolled her eyes at you two, taking an annoyed sip from her boba as you guys fought the growing urge to buss out laughing.
That's when you all spotted Leeseo walking home from school with her hair covering her face. You made an effort to call her over, but she obviously ignored you until Nate said something.
"Sissy," He almost whispered with a now forced smile, sensing that something was off by her foggy aura.
She stopped right in her tracks, bashfully lifting her head to reveal her tear-stained cheeks.
The three of you got up from your table, rushing over to comfort her.
"Hey, why the long face, kiddo?" Yunjin asked, taking Leeseo's backpack so the poor girl could finally relax her anxious shoulders.
"S-something happened to Aiko last night," she let out through broken sniffles, "Maeve was telling the whole school about it today."
Oh my God, you thought to yourself.
A worried expression wavered over Nate's features, "W-well... what'd she say?"
"She was talking on the phone with Aiko last night to make sure she got home safely. That's when Aiko said this weird guy kept texting her... Maeve listened to the whole thing..."
"Leeseo, I'm kind of missing the point here," Yunjin pressed, not being able to read through her words clearly.
"Aiko told Maeve that some guy in a costume started chasing her... Another girl was running away with her, but Aiko couldn't tell who she was..."
"Leeseo..."
"Maeve said she heard Aiko stop running, followed by painful screaming and coughing... we don't know for sure but... people are saying that its a ghost face copycat-"
Nate stopped her mid-sentence, wrapping his arms around her as she weeped into his chest.
"I know it's silly that I'm crying because she was such a bitch to me," her voice cracked, tears leaving darkened grey spots on Nate's turtleneck.
"You're not silly for having a heart, Leeseo," you said softly, holding your own hands from how cold your surroundings suddenly became.
"They found her body, ____," she sobbed, hardly being able to contain her breathing, "that freak killed her."
Nothing else was said as there was nothing left to say. You all stood around Nate and Lesseo in a circle, meddling on the increasingly horrifying status of your realities.
Turns out that the new masked goon on the street wasn't some lame copy cat, but unfortunately, someone much more sinister.
➠ friday
11:54am
During your lunch break, you decided to tell Heeseung about Nate's costume party tonight. Not because you wanted him to join you or anything... mostly because you thought it'd be the right thing to let him know. Though, if you knew he would've reacted in the way he did, you simply would've avoided telling him altogether.
"Why would you go to a party like that, ____?" He scolded, shaking his head at you, "People in masks, carrying fake knives and what not. You're not ready, ____! A kid was literally just stabbed to death in our neighborhood!"
"I am ready, Heeseung! Hell, I don't even remember what Sunghoon looks like at this poin. He's officially a part of my past now, and I thank you for everything you've done to help me heal since that, but please, don't ruin this for me."
"Ruin your mood before a bogus late Halloween party?" He scoffed, leaning against the wall in the cafeteria.
You decided to break the news to him after surprising him at work with some lunch you made for him that morning. You understood exactly where he was coming from: Heeseung only wanted the best for you ever since day one, but you still wish he wouldn't have been so harsh about something as simple as a costume party.
"Please don't get mad at me for asking, but have you stopped taking your meds?"
Your heart dropped at his words. Was there an obvious difference in your behavior that would make him know that?
Now it was your turn to feel guilty, "I'm sorry for not telling you, Heeseung. I haven't taken any over the last few days, but I promise you, I've never been happier!"
"____, you think I don't know about that little stunt at your job? Your emotions are out of control!"
"I only stopped taking the meds because Nate suggested I give them a break. If me not feeding into fear is what losing control of me emotions looks like, then so be it," you fought back.
"God, listen to yourself, ____. Valuing the advice of this Nate guy over me, a professional healthcare provider? Where's your trust in me?" He frowned, voice falling to a whisper.
Beep, beep, beep, the cafeteria microwave chimed through the tension of the room. Heeseung had put the lunch you made him in there a few minutes ago, and you're sure it was pretty over-warmed by now.
"I'm trusting in myself from now on," you replied, adjusting your purse over your shoulder and turning to walk away from him, "Enjoy your food, Heeseung."
9:03pm
Once again, it was a Friday night and the mood was right, as you liked to say.
The decorations, the vibes and snack table—it was all reminiscent of Sunghoon's party last summer, but minus the fear that came with it.
Better.
You couldn't help but think about Kazuha in the atmosphere.
Parties were always her scene, and now that you think about it, Yunjin had a spirit very similar to Kaz, and Nate… well, he was a lot like the person Sunghoon had fooled you into thinking he was.
Kind, gentle, healing.
You and Yunjin were dressed to impress in your flirty cat costumes, Nate opting for a more relaxed apparel in a graphic sweatshirt, silver chains, and ripped jeans.
"It's my emo persona," he clarified for the both of you who were still confused as to why he didn't dress up at his own party.
"Cool, so does this emo version of you go by a different name orrr-"
"You died your hair black," you interrupted, staring in shock.
Nate's smile froze before twisting into something more mischievous, "Yeah, I did. Too bad our friend Yunjin here didn't notice... have you been drinking?" He teased, poking her on the forehead.
"Hands off, Lil Huddy, and no, I'm still waiting for the host to show me where the bar is."
"As you wish," he smiled, taking you and Yunjin's hand in his, slipping past the crowd and beelining toward his indoor bar.
One Of The Girls pulsed from the radio speakers, thrumming through the party air as surrounding bodies either swayed or made conversation to the rhythms. The mysterious aura of the song lingered in your limbs as you struggled to wrap your head around what bothered you about Nate's costume tonight.
You didn't wanna say it was the hair, because this new, dark look made him undeniably more attractive. Still, there was something different about his eyes. Something that made you feel uneasy.
So you brushed it off.
"What's your poison," Nate asked with a cheesy grin, placing three chilled shot glasses and a drink mixer on the counter.
“Hmm,” You began, tapping at your chin, “how about something creamy with a dairy base? In honor of our feline outfits.”
“Got it,” he huffed, rolling up his sleeves and examining the array of shelved alcohols behind him. He went for a bottle of banana liquor and crème de cacao. Pouring the amber liquids into the mixers along with some whole milk and ice, he gave it a theatrical shake before pouring it into your shot glasses. “Voila, my ladies! Tell me what you think,” Nate hummed, looking into your eyes as he licked the bead of milk from the rim of the cup.
Yunjin took a sip first and then you, surprisingly pleasant flavors of warm chocolate greeting your taste buds. “Woah, this is actually really good! The banana doesn’t taste synthetic, either!” Yunjin chirped, going back for another sip.
“That’s because I only buy the finest quality products for my guests,” Nate said, eyes turning back to you as he leaned over the counter, wiping the sweet foam from your lips with his thumb.
“Jeez, I’m still right here, y’know?” Yunjin cringed, making you and Nate both feel a little shy.
“What’s this drink called anyway? I wanna make it at home sometime,” Yunjin continued.
“It’s called a Banshee. You can look up the recipe online.”
“Oooh, sounds dangerous.”
“It’s not. Most Banshee’s only warn of pending deaths, while others relish in the pain of people who’ve harmed them in some way.”
“Interesting, but what does that have to do with bananas and chocolate,” you asked.
“The short answer is nothing at all,” Nate said, walking around the counter to sit in between you and Yunjin, “it’s just a silly name, I guess.”
After you three finished up your drinks, you headed back to the dance floor where you made absolute fools of yourselves. Yunjin, who got the dropsies early on, called in an Uber to drive her back home.
“Yunjin, I’m not letting you go home alone while drunk,” you retorted, walking her to the car, “Besides, I’m sure your driver won’t mind looking at two pussies for the night.”
“Yeah,” she giggled, leaning her head into your shoulder, “but maybe some other time when I'm a little more in touch,” she smiled, drawing your attention to the tinted windows of the vehicle. You could barely make out what the driver looked like.
“Anyways, you and Nate deserve this night together. I’ll be fine, I promised,” she said with slurred words as you watched her enter the vehicle.
“Okay, Jinnie. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” you waved as the car pulled off.
“Tomorrow!” She cheered back before rolling up the window.
10:16pm
The party continued as normal, you and Nate sticking by each others side for the entire time. As expected, a few ghostface cosplayers welcomed themselves to the party space, but you weren’t gonna let them worry you.
Buzz. Buzz.
Your phone vibrated in your purple handbag. Pulling out your phone, the bright screen revealed an incoming call from an unknown number.
What a wonderful surprise, you thought to yourself.
You went to press the hangup button, but Nate stopped your hand, meeting your eyes with his encouraging ones.
“Go on… answer it,” he almost whispered, securing your waist with his protective hand.
You’re not sure what compelled you to listen to him, but you felt strong enough to answer the call just as casually as it came.
“Who is this,” you asked dumbly, your gut having told you exactly who it was before answering.
“Does my voice ring any bells?”
Gut wrong. It was Heeseung. You had forgotten all about how you blocked him a few hours after your argument to make sure he didn't get in the way of your party plans. That explains why he called from a burner number.
“What do you want, Hee,” you said with a sigh, now walking away from Nate’s hold.
“Oh, so first, you risk your health by going against my advice, and now I’m not allowed to check on you, either?”
“I’m fine, Hee,” you answered, only for another ring tone to fill your ear.
You glanced at the phone screen: another unknown number was intersecting the call.
“Gimme a second,” you paused, accepting the incoming call and putting Heeseung’s line on hold.
“You're enjoying this, aren't you?”
Nevermind. Gut actually right, just slightly delayed. It was the ghostface creep calling to ruin your fun.
“Enjoying what, exactly?" You pressed, already feeling yourself get a little nervous.
"Enjoying this taste of normalcy, of course. You're not trying to forget about me, are you princess?" The gravelly voice slithered, sending chills down your spine.
It was obvious that this psycho wanted you to think they were some kind of Sunghoon Park reincarnate, coming back to haunt you all over again. The part that you didn't understand, however, was how they knew so much and why they were willing to kill for the sake of a prank.
"Look, I don't have time for your games right now, stay out of my life," You bit back, trying to hide just how scared you truly were.
"Oh, ____, we both know that I can't do that. But I'll promise you this much: No more games tonight. Deal?"
You took a moment to breath before answering, "D-deal."
"Perfect. Now if you're a smart girl who learns from her mistakes, you won't hang up until I say so," the voice hissed.
The sound of what you assumed was a vinyl record scratching against a pin met your anxious ear, an upbeat piano tune rumbling from the track.
"Unusual. They say strange fascination, in...fatuation! A lunatic."
"What is this," you couldn't help but ask, even though you knew there wouldn't be an answer.
"Cause my insides are red, and yours are too! And the red on my face is matching you," the chilling recording sang, "And goodness you're bleeding. What a wonderful feeling. You're down and you're pleading. My head is just reeling-"
You subconsciously walked back closer to Nate as the chorus erupted, bumping into him as you were lost in whatever trance this freak was successfully putting on you.
The urge to hang up grew stronger with each second, but you knew better than to test your luck so soon.
"ꪻꫝꫀ ᥅ꫀᦔ ꪑꫀꪖꪀᦓ ꠸ ꪶꪮꪜꫀ ꪗꪮꪊ " The final lyric whined before the phone call ended abruptly.
Heeseung's line appeared to have cut a few minutes ago, too.
No... he hung up on you.
You called Heeseung back who immediately answered, “Where are you?” You started, not even trying to hide your sense of urgency.
"Why, your new boyfriend abandoned you already?"
"Cut the crap, Heeseung, where are you??” Your voice cracked this time.
"God, I’m at home, ____, why--"
Nate snatched your phone, cutting the call as he turned you to face him, "What the hell was that all about?"
“That ghost face creep wanted me to stay on the phone while he serenading me...”
"You're kidding."
"I wish. Too bad I got scared into listening."
"It's okay. I'm sure you did the right thing. Now where are we headed."
"Wherever Heeseung is. I'm skeptical that he may be behind all of this, but if he's not, that phone call I got was just a distraction. He could be in trouble." You said, taking Nate's hand in yours as you led him outside of the party and to his car.
"Okay. Is there any way you can track his location?"
"Yeah, as long as he has his phone with him," you said, getting in the car and putting on your seatbelt.
Nate passed you your phone so you could pull up Heeseung's whereabouts. From the looks of it, he was driving somewhere, and definitely not home like he said he was.
"What's he doing in the middle of nowhere?" Nate asked, narrowing his eyes at the phone screen.
"I have know idea, but we have to follow him," you said, holding up your phone for Nate to follow the directions.
10:20pm
Yunjin sat quietly in the backseat, observing the night skyline behind the foggy car windows in between her recurrent dozing.
A certain bump in the road caused the car to shake, disrupting Yunjin's slumber once again. That's when she overheard the Uber driver on the phone with someone.
"Hey... not sure if I'm hallucinating or not, but were you just on the phone with my friend?” She asked, having heard a familiar voice on the other end of the call.
The driver didn't pay Yunjin any mind as he continued speaking on the phone, the female voice repeating the name "Heeseung" a few times before hanging up.
"Oh my gosh!" She gasped in shock, taking in the view of the drivers face from the rearview mirror, "You’re Heeseung? Wow, you’re like... wayyyyy hotter than I thought you’d be. Respectfully, of course, since you and ____ have history. She is literally so lucky to have you around.”
“She sure is," he said with a forced smiled, but it didn't quite reach his dark, doe eyes.
His grip on the steering wheel tightened as he turned down yet another rocky trail.
“Hey, I think you made a wrong turn, my street is that way…” Yunjin mumbled, not wanted to come off as bossy.
“Oh- Yeah, I'm taking a short cut to avoid traffic, don't worry about it.”
She simply nodded in response, dozing off for another 10 minutes before waking back up again. Yunjin was never really a lightweight when it came to drinking. If anything, it sometimes seemed as though she was immune to its effects.
"What the hell was in that Banshee," she thought to herself, rubbing the heaviness from her glittery eyes before looking back out the window again, taking in the view of trees and wildlife that made up her surroundings.
“Hey, we’ve been on this road for a while now, are you sure you're on the right path?”
Heeseung pursed his lips at her question, taking a breath and holding it in his chest for a moment, “I can't take you home tonight," he said, eyes still trained on the road ahead of him as he locked the doors.
"Haha, very funny, but suddenly, I gotta piss. So unless you wanna smell my golden release in your car for the next month, I suggest you take another detour, Dr. Lee," She threatened, unbuckling her seatbelt to ease the pressure around her stomach.
"I'm afraid I don't have much time to tell you this, but someone from ____'s past is out to hurt the both of you. You need to understand that Nate is not who he says he is," Heeseung frowned, letting go of the breath he'd been holding.
“Yeah, no kidding, but that still doesn't explain where the fuck you're taking me,” Yunjin retorted, fidgeting with the car door handle as a way to annoy him.
“Would you please stop doing that? I'm already on edge right now, and you would be too if you actually listened to what I'm saying," Heeseung sighed, raising his voice slightly.
"I am listening."
"Great, so hear this. I'm taking you somewhere safe from whatever's to come tonight.. otherwise, you could be in even more trouble.”
Yunjin let his words sink in before answering, "Okay, I hope that I'm making the right decision by trusting you, but what about ____?"
"I'll take care of her after this, just focus on yourself right now," he replied, pulling the vehicle into the driveway of a mysterious log cabin cradled within the depths of the forest.
"Get out," Heeseung said, exiting the vehicle with haste as Yunjin followed after him, walking up to the front door where a key was hidden beneath the doormat.
"Just follow me, he'll find you too easily up here," he went on, grabbing her hand and leading her to the downstairs basement.
With how fast Heeseung was moving, Yunjin barely had enough time to make out her surroundings, her peripheral vision being filled with colors instead of identifiable objects... Or maybe that was the affect of Nate's Banshee still lingering in her system.
The last thing she'd remember was Heeseung bringing her into the basement before closing the door, approaching her with a wooden chair in his grasp as everything around her went black.
10:52pm
According to your phone's GPS, you were still a few minutes shy from arriving at Heeseung's location. Though, the undeniable familiarity of your surroundings brought up a feeling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach.
The way the moonlight peeked through the trees, casting an ominous glow on the hood of Nate's car was all too reminiscent of a few scenes from your nightmares.
Scenes where Sunghoon would drive you to and from the clinic as if it were a daycare center for punished girls, watching from the hospital cafeteria window as bright mornings slowly faded into a starry nights.
Much like tonight, that is.
The bright car headlights of the vehicle glazed the surface of a rectangular sign hanging above the front door of the shady cabin. hidden within the first as Nate pulled into the driveway. A sign that read the words "Park Lodge."
Another sight that caught your attention was the same Uber car that Yunjin got into and the front door that was left open.
Oh God, help me please, you thought to yourself, or maybe prayed, fidgeting with your fingers as Nate stopped the car, ceasing the calming sound of the air conditioner.
"Are you sure you wanna go in, or would you rather stay out here," Nate asked softly, looking in your direction as you simply stared in your lap.
Still dressed in your slutty cat costume, you couldn't help but feel silly, almost as though you'd gotten dressed up to make a fool out of yourself tonight.
So many thoughts and questions were running through your head: Was Yunjin okay? Why the hell would Heeseung come here? Does he have something to do with this recent outbreak of ghost face hysteria? Who could you trust?
Slam.
You closed the car door, leaving your hand bag behind, walking up to the cabin with Nate beside you.
Despite everything you'd been through, this was easily one of the most frightening experiences of them all, but you couldnt let fear get the best of you.
Not yet.
Not now.
"What is this place," he asked, taking in the interior design of this forbidden cabin you knew all too well.
"My former torture chamber," you sighed, opening door after door in search of anything at all, "The place where Sunghoon would..." your voice trailed off, "the place where it all happened."
Nate only hummed at your words, eyes scanning your movements as you continued to search the space like a maniac, but to no avail.
That's when you saw a trail of dirt leading to the basement.
Two trails, that is. One from a man and the other from a female.
"In here!" You called out to Nate who ran towards you, twisting the door handle that refused to grant you access.
"Step back," he said, and you did, watching as he gave the door a few kicks before it slung open, the handle clashing with the wall behind it.
"Watch your step," he warned, taking in the extravagant view of steps that lead to whatever was hiding within the darkness of the basement aside from the many demons Sunghoon left behind.
Step by step, you watched as your feet met each level, Nate's shoes clicking behind yours. Once your boots finally met solid ground, you weren't too surprised to see Heeseung pacing around the room casually.
You didn't even realize Nate was holding your hand until he let go of it, leaving your side for reasons you didn't immediately understand.
“What’re you doing here!?” You nearly shouted, a disgusted look wavering over your face at Heeseung's relaxed demeanor.
But to your surprise, he didn't answer, only watching as Nate made his way to the closet, looking to Heeseung before asking, "Is she in here?"
Heeseung nodded, and with that, Nate took it upon himself to open the closet door, revealing none other than Yunjin's unconscious body sitting, no, tied to a chair with rope, a rectangle of duck tape covering her mouth.
You’re not sure why you just stood there and watched, but you did. Something about seeing yet another person end up in a bad situation simply because they were your friend made you freeze.
Nate’s previously nervous expression was taken over by a much more malicious one, his hand going to grab a handful of Yunjin's hair before giving her head a shake, “Is anybody home,” he snickered, but she remained asleep, only groaning at his actions.
“Don’t touch her like that!” You finally yelped, causing Yunjin to regain her consciousness from the loudness of your voice.
Nate removed the tape from her mouth.
“_-____?” She stuttered over your name through half lidded eyes, looking back at you.
Slice.
Blood trickled down Nate’s arm as he dug the rim of his knife further into the flesh of Yunjin’s throat, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as her arms tensed up from the pain.
“Shit, looks like I missed the rope,” Nate pouted facetiously, letting her head hang forward as he licked the bead of blood that trailed down his knife, “I've always had bad aim.” “Why the hell did you do that!!” Heeseung yelled, running up to Nate and pushing him away from Yunjin, “We agreed that we weren’t gonna kill her, that’s why I told you to spike her drink in the first place!”
“But gosh, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” Nate defended, to which Heeseung scoffed annoyedly.
“Yunjin didn’t hurt your sister! And she wasn’t like that other girl you killed that night. Our other targets deserved to die. Not her,” Heeseung said with a heavy voice, almost as if wanting to cry, but you knew he wouldn’t.
Closing the closet door, a look of disappointment wavered over his features, “You're loosing grip of your purpose, Sunghoon.”
You felt as though your world stopped spinning at the realization of everything that was going on.
So you weren't just going crazy this entire time?
“N-…. N-no, it can’t be,” you stuttered, feeling as though your legs would give out. “Don’t touch me!” You barked as Heeseung tried to catch you from falling, which you did anyway, right to your knees.
“This whole time… S-Sunghoon, I...I thought... y-you're supposed to be dead,” your voice cracked, another tear joining the cloudy stream that already stained your face.
“With that logic, I guess I'm supposed to be a lot of things... Sane, kind, honest. By now though, you should know that I've always danced to the beat of my own drum," Sunghoon smirked, playing with the bloody knife in his hand, "What did you think of that song, by the way? Pretty good, right?"
“You fucking monster! Y-you… you killed two innocent people!”
"Oh, big woop! It's not like they were going to turn out to be anything anyways," Nate scoffed, twirling the weapon once again, "I'm sure you probably have a lot of questions you'd like to ask, so I recommend you start talking before my patience runs out."
"Heeseung... I... I don't understand your role in all of this..."
"There are no excuses for my actions, ____, but I owed it to Sunghoon. We both found each other during some dark times in our lives. He promised to help me get some pretty bad people off my back if in exchange, I helped him kill off that Jun-Hwan guy... I just got in too deep to turn back.”
"But why? Why go on for so long? Why not just kill me off and relish in your fleeting sense of justice?" You cried, not being able to control the tears spilling from your eyes.
Your entire life for the past 6 months had been nothing more than a big fat lie.
“God, didn't I already explain this part to you everyday when I had you down here all those days? I did it for my sister, ____,” Sunghoon hissed.
"So you tortured me everyday for months while I carried your child for some lame attempt at redemption?"
"Exactly. See? I knew you were smart."
“No... maybe in the beginning your intentions were noble, but now you’re just acting on your own sick impulses! You like hurting people!”
"Okay, I thought I told you to ask questions, not lecture me."
“Your entire plan was to make my life a living hell! All that shit you said about loving me was a part of this grand psychological game you’re playing!”
“Bingo! You’re on fire, princess,” he winked, unfazed by your emotional outburst, "Now, in a few seconds, I'm going to slit your eyelids in half so you can watch as I stab you multiple times in the face. Any last words?"
You couldn't even be mad at yourself for falling for his tricks... People always said that psychopaths had a way of making some of the most convincing actors.
"Fuck you," you spat, lips trembling like an earthquake before him.
"Cute. If you so happen to wake up in heaven, tell Wonyoung I said-"
Bang.
A silver bullet lodged through the center of Sunghoon's chest, the loud sound making your ears pop.
Bang.
Another bullet joined the first one in his chest, the silver blade finally falling from his cold grasp and clashing with the wooden floor.
Bang.
This shot went off with a ring, gushing through his forehead as his now lifeless body met you on the floor, splashes of red decorated your skin. It was interesting how his beautiful face stayed in contact after the collision.
Your jaw went slack at the sight, a mixture of terror and surprise running through every cell in your body.
You turned to see the source of the gunfire, finding none other than Leeseo standing with the smokey weapon still pointed at Sunghoon's head, her index finger slowly easing into the trigger again.
"That's enough!!" You yelled, haulting what would've made her fourth shot at him.
Putting the gun on safety, she tucked it into her brown leather jacket, grabbing you by the hands as she lifted you up from the ground, greeting you with her embrace.
"What the hell are you doing here, kiddo," you sniffled in her shoulder, feeling as though your body was on the verge of breaking.
"I suspected Nate had something to do with Aiko's death, so I started following him and noticed that he kept coming back here for some reason," she whispered, breaking from the hug.
"Leeseo-"
"I'm so glad that I brought my dad's pistol with me tonight. I heard that there was a party going on and I had a feeling what kind of monster I was dealing with early on. It sucks to say that my instincts were right-"
"Leeseo-"
"I saw him kill Yunjin from upstairs. I froze at the sight in the same way you did-"
"Leeseo, listen."
"What?" She said, taking your hands in hers.
“Nate wasn't real… his real name is Sunghoon Park.”
She screwed her eyebrows at your words, "Wait- Like the original guy from the ghost face incidents this summer?"
"Yes," you replied plainly.
"But... the news said he died... h-he... no, V hit him with a car outside of the hospital! He was in a coma-"
"Look, there's a lot more to the story that I have yet to tell you because I'm still trying to understand some of it myself... I'm just glad you were brave enough to stand up for us like that."
All she did was smile. Even in the face of danger, she always had a way of bringing sunshine to the room. "Are you sure I shouldn't shoot him one more time though?"
"He's dead, Sissy. For good this time, okay?" You reassured her as the sound of police sirens rumbled from above the basement.
Could this girl get any smarter?
"Hey... Where'd Dr. Lee go," she asked, taking one more good look around the basement.
"Don't worry about Heeseung. He wasn't on our side, either," you sighed as a team of police officers came rushing down the stairs, infiltrating the space.
➠ a little over one week later, monday
You still think about what would’ve happened if you wouldn't have dragged Yunjin into going to Sunghoon's party with you that night. If you didn’t trust "Nate" over your own gut feelings, falling for his charm in the same way you did when you first met him. If you never continued therapy or even a relationship with Heeseung. If you never betrayed Wonyoung for your friends to the point that she was bullied to death.
Would you, Kaz, and Madds still be friends, attending the same university together as you took on the exciting new adventure of adulthood? Would Sunghoon and Jun-Hwan be professional athletes in the Olympics, Wonyoung cheering them both on from the sidelines?
So many questions, but you're afraid there are only limited answers to them at this given moment in time.
Right now, you were rewarded the chance to lead your life the way you wanted, fear-free. “Hey, ____! Are you still down to hang out after work? I wanna show you the poster I was working on for Café Royale's holiday menu!” Leeseo chirped as she untied the bow to her apron, tucking it away in her sack. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec!” You called out to her, heading to lock up the kitchen before you left.
The owner of Café Royale had flew in town a few days ago, as she was also in search for normalcy some place outside of town. She felt the need to come down and check on things, bidding her condolences. "You might wanna keep a good eye on these," she said, placing the store front keys in your hand as she made her way outside, you following closely behind after hanging your apron over the wall hook. "I really can't thank you enough for this, ma'am," you expressed, watching as she got into her fancy purple car.
"Start by not letting me down. I understand that this is a big responsibility I'm leaving you with, but I know you can handle it. You're a trooper, ____," she smiled, closing her car door before pulling off, joining the rest of the busy vehicles rolling up and down the road. Leeseo was already at your side by now, hooking your arm in hers as she lead you in the direction of her "In Progress Creative Project."
"What'd the boss lady wanna tell you," she started, legs following the exact same step speed at which you walked.
You took a moment to soak up the evening sun, relishing in this feeling of normalcy you oh-so craved for far too long.
Here goes that word again, you thought to yourself, meeting Leeseo's eyes with your own enlightened ones.
"Let's just say I'll be sticking around this town for a lot longer than planned."
Fin.
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❅ Thank you all so much for reading Part 3 of this absolute train wreck of a story! Special thanks to @ashgonedash the original requestor of this story, @squoxle my trusted creative assistant, and @yourmomscuntis2tighy for additional support and creative inspo! Couldn't have done this one without y'all!
❅ Make sure to check out my enhypen bookshelf here for my fun reads and yonder content !!
✎ ᴀ/ɴ: in no way, shape, or form does this fanfic intend to romanticize unhealthy relationships or abusive behaviors. i simply write for entertainment and creative purposes. thus, reader discretion is always advised.
taglist: @ashgonedash @nikilvr @ttokyoobv @yourmomscuntis2tighy @fightqueen @addictedtohobi @sltfohoon @lisaaannna @beomgyusonlywife @casualcloddeputyherring @calichuchies-blog @devqrasgirl @rhiannass @lovelycassy @pinapplefntacupss @en-thralled @nikimeows @kaykay11sworld @j-wyoung @flowerbe0m @clarisabutterfliescupcake @wonnyan @sunghoonmyprince @heeseung-min - EVERYONE ELSE I couldn't tag for some reason?? Sowwy hehe
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aintnorainbows · 4 months
Text
I Don’t Don’t Do Drugs
Part I: Bad Decisions
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jey uso x black! oc (Chloe)
word count: 2,356
a/n: i am so excited to share this with you guys. if you noticed the word count is up there. this is a mutli chapter story that i revised to be a small series for you guys. this is my favorite OC so i’m very excited to share her. i hope you all enjoy!
Summary: Chloe is NXT’s newest rising star. Jey Uso is..well.. Jey Uso. Follow these star crossed lovers through the struggle of temptation and lust.
Tags: smut, porn but mostly plot
Warnings: BIG disclaimer for infidelity. jey’s wife in this story is an OC not jey’s wife irl. + unprotected sex and swearing
“Back bump!” Coach Bloom shouted. All the trainees heeded his orders, immediately falling to their backs. “Up!…Face bump!”
Jey looked on in amusement, he remembered those days. Practicing those bumps, running those drills, getting as many reps in as he could. Grinding as hard as he could to get to where he is today, he smiled to himself.
Oh, how far he had come.
There were four rings, each had about four trainees and they all had different looks that screamed potential. However, there was one girl that caught his attention.
She was dark skinned, slim, with toned arms and long hair she wore in two braids. When Jey’s eyes fell on her, it was like the rest of the world around them disappeared. She was an angel.
“Ayo, Albert.” Jey leaned over, nudging the man. “Who’s the girl in the middle right there?”
“Ah, that’s a new recruit, Chloe James. Twenty one years old, reminds me of a young Randy in the ring…Handstand bump!”
Jey only decided to visit the performance center because his younger brother Solo asked him to, but as the training session went on, his younger brother was the last thing on his mind.
He eyed the young girl heavily and even though she had room for improvement, he immediately knew what Coach was talking about. She was a natural athlete and an obvious future star. But, that wasn’t the only thing about her that had his attention.
Anyone with eyes could see that she was beautiful. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she moved around the ring. It was like watching an angel fish glide through the ocean, elegant and natural.
When training finally wrapped up, he saw his brother talk to her and some of the other trainees.
Chloe noticed him watching and eyed Jey with interest, which he immediately took note of. She was dripping with sweat and Jey felt himself stir at the way her full lips wrapped around her water bottle.
From that day on, anytime he went to visit the PC, he’d have an eye out for her. They spoke sometimes, but the conversation was typically brief. He knew any attempt at growing closer to the girl would unravel feelings he wasn’t ready to control.
Despite that, he was in a vicious cycle of lust and infatuation with Chloe. He desperately wanted to make a move on her, but a nervous twist of the ring on his finger served as a reminder that he shouldn’t.
Nothing ever stopped him from looking.
All things changed one Thursday night. On one of his monthly trips to Orlando to train with Solo, he arrived at the Performance Center only to see his brother was nowhere to be found. The only person in the entire building was Chloe.
For a moment he silently watched the girl running the ropes, doing lucha rolls and various body movement drills. She was mesmerizing, not just her gorgeous body, but the way she moved.
She was a future star. She was a natural.
She continued for a while without noticing he was there and he watched and watched. Then she finally stopped with a startled jump.
“Whoa, you scared the hell out of me,” she said, laughing nervously with a hand over her chest.
“My apologies,” Jey said with a bright smile. “I was supposed to come train with my brother tonight didn’t expect anyone else to be here.”
“Oh, Solo didn’t tell you? He took Elektra Lopez out on a date tonight, the Legados guys don’t like him, so they gotta sneak and stuff.”
Jey should’ve been annoyed that he came all this way for nothing, but it all seemed worth it as he got to hear the amused giggle she let out as she explained his brother’s odd dating situation.
Then, he looked around and realized this could be his perfect opportunity to connect with Chloe. At the back of his mind, he knew he should keep space between them. He saw the way she looked at him, but that wasn’t only because she always caught him staring. There was an ever growing ball of tension between them.
But, who was he to deny.
“I hate to have come all this way for nothing, maybe you could use a training partner?” Jey offered.
The girl bit her lip, “Actually yeah there’s this move you do..can you show it to me?”
Jey felt his dick twitch in his shorts at the sight of her full lips tugged between her teeth, but he took a deep breath willing the feeling away. He had fucked around on his wife before, but this was different.
Chloe wasn’t some random girl he met on instagram or a ring rat hanging around after the show. This was different. Something about indulging in Chloe felt like crossing a line.
He was sure he could have a quick training session without things going too far, he thought to himself. He could ignore the feelings stirring in his chest and pants for an hour.
The two wrestlers rolled around in the ring. He showed her high flying and she taught him some submissions and ground wrestling, showing off her flexibility with her toned, brown, legs wrapped tightly around his head.
He reversed the move, floating over to pin the girl on her back. She tried to fight him off, but the Samoan man was stronger. The two laughed as she struggled to pry her wrists from his grip.
“Now, what do you say?” Jey asked, with a mischievous grin.
“Please?” she rolled her eyes.
“Hmm…beg a little” Jey said, a little more suggestively than he intended. He tightened his grip a bit more, pressing her into the mat.
Her eyes softened as she fluttered her gaze up to meet his. She poked out her bottom lip, with faux innocence, “Pretty please?”
Something about that went straight to Jey’s dick and before he could talk himself out it, his lips were crashing into Chloe’s.
He released her wrists, moving one hand down to a comfortable place on her waist, while the other immediately went down to her ass. With no interruptions, his tongue slipped past her lips and they kissed for minutes in the middle of the ring.
Finally they broke apart, panting as Jey pulled back to adjust his growing erection in his shorts. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come onto you like that,” he mumbled.
“It’s okay...” She whispered with a blush, pulling him down for another kiss. Widening her legs, she allowed Jey to grind his hardening dick against her sex. The two were waist to waist, the only thing separating them was their thin layer of clothes.
Quickly, Jey became hyper aware of that and his hands flew tearing off her shoes and leggings, tossing them aimlessly across the eighteen foot ring.
He wasted no time dipping his fingers into the wet of her sex, using it to slick his dick before sliding in slowly. The echoes of their moans bounced off the walls of the performance center as Jey thrusted in and out, losing himself in the heat of the girl.
Chloe writhed beneath him, her eyes rolling into her head as he pounded into her sweet spot. Her arms found a home around the back of his neck, pulling him down to place hungry kisses across her neck and face.
Before long Jey felt her tightening around him. Just before he came, reality hit and he pulled out. Two last strokes to his dick and he came on the stomach and chest of the shaking girl beneath him.
After the hardest orgasm Jey had ever experienced, his chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, bracing himself on one arm, reaching for his shirt with the other.
“Here let me help you with that before it dries,” he said breathlessly using the tank top to clean the cum off Chloe’s stomach.
She smiled as he dabbed at her torso, until her eyes drifted down to where his hands met her body.
“What is THAT?” she exclaimed, scurrying back from the man as her eyes widened in horror.
“What?” he said, in confusion, his mind still hazy from the powerful orgasm.
“That!” She pointed with one hand, covering her chest with the other. “On your fucking finger, what is that?”
“My wedding ring?”
“You’re MARRIED!?”
“Yes?” he said, with a light scoff as if it didn’t matter.
To him it didn’t. Not at the moment at least.
He’d probably feel bad later, but the sex was too good for him to care at the moment. It was the best sex of his life. It had been years since the woman waiting for him at home had given anything close to that feeling.
But, Chloe stared back, shocked and offended. “You didn’t think to tell me you were married before you fucked me?”
This was proving to be a mistake, but he knew that before he did it, even if he wouldn’t ever admit that. Chloe was just so damned irresistible.
“I didn’t think it mattered,” he lied with a shrug before pulling on his underwear and shorts. “Look, don’t do all that. We had amazing sex, it is what it is.”
“You’re an asshole,” she scoffed at him.
He shrugged again, maybe so. But. he was an asshole who couldn’t get enough of her.
-
A few weeks passed and Chloe hadn’t seen Jey since that night. She hadn’t told anyone, especially not Solo that she had slept with him. It was a night she simply wished she could forget.
Nevermind the fact that she touched herself to memories of his hands and lips all over her. If she had a time machine to go back to that moment and experience it over and over again, she would.
But, he was married. And everytime she came down from the high of reliving that experience, so came the imagery of that ring. A glimmering, gold neon sign, marked “Do Not Enter”.
So, she wasn’t going too. Too focused on her career and her training, she put the drama of that night behind her and focused on the career she had ahead of her.
It wasn’t until she walked into the PC for training that she saw Triple H and William Regal waiting by the rings, ranting animatedly to Coach Bloom.
A deep, unsettling feeling settled into the pit of her stomach when Coach’s eyes fell on her and he gestured for her to approach. Reluctantly, she did,
following the three men to a back office where she saw him waiting and typing away on his phone.
Chloe took a seat next to him. She was tense in her chair as the cold hard stares of her bosses and mentors pierced through her.
The three older men looked between them sternly. Triple H was so mad she thought she could see steam coming from his ears as he tapped his foot impatiently on the carpet. “Any idea why I called you both in here?” He began.
Jey sucked his teeth, “No, I really don’t.” he said with sass. “To be real, I got better shit to do than to be driving all the way down here to talk to your ass Hunter.”
Triple H scoffed, “Well, I would also think you’d have better things to do than having sex in my wrestling ring after hours, but you seemed to have plenty of time for that.” The older man’s nostrils flared.
Chloe’s head dropped, feeling a warm blush creep to her face. Why didn’t she think about the damn cameras?
“Jey you know better and Chloe I’ve got half a mind to fire you!” Hunter shouted.
Chloe gasped, the tears forming in her eyes finally rolling down her cheeks.
This was more than a job to her. This was her dream. And here it was about to crumble through her fingers like sand because she didn’t have self control around a man.
Tears welled up in here eyes as she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. There she was, her dream job on the line and she was floundering.
Up until that moment it seemed like Jey wasn’t really taking this all too seriously, but at that comment he jumped forward.
“Whoa, no need for all that alright? I came onto her, she had a lapse in judgment. If anyone should be punished it’s me” Jey asserted. “Come on now, Hunter. She’s a talented girl with a bright future! Dont be like that.”
She was surprised he was defending her, but she appreciated it nonetheless. She could only find her voice to speak when his pinky inched toward her thigh and brushed reassuringly.
“Hunter, Mr. Regal, Coach Bloom, I am so sorry, I am mortified, I don’t even know what to say. I-I wasn’t thinking. It’ll never happen again.” Chloe cried as she felt her world crashing down around her.
A beat of silence passed as the three men once again looked between the two wrestlers.
“You’re damn right it won’t,” Regal said, his British accent making him sound more stern. “You’re lucky you’ve got such a promising future, so we won’t fire you, but consider this your first and final strike,”
The girl nodded, standing to shake their hands before exiting the office. Jey looked at her as she wiped away her tears, “Thanks for sticking up for me back there,” she said.
Jey locked eyes with her, taking a step closer. She felt her heart jump as his brown eyes bore into hers. “Anytime,” he mumbled, his lips brushing lightly against hers.
Her eyes fell shut as she took a deep breath in. She couldn’t believe she was doing this, but her body was controlling her more than her mind.
She leaned forward kissing him deeply on the lips.
When the two pulled away, he smirked deviously at her, before planting her with another peck on the lips and walking away.
She knew this with Jey was a huge mistake, but it was a mistake that felt so good.
~
i would looove feedback on this story because it’s one of my fave universes i’ve created and i would love to share more of it. thanks for reading!!
tag list: @harmshake @bebesobrielo @venusesworld @trc-punzel @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @2-muchsauce @romansnumberonegirl @ariieeesworld @southerngirl41 @heyitsnajabrinee @afterdarkprincess
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nanowrimo · 3 months
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How a First-Timer Wrimo Landed Literary Representation
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NaNo participant Demi Michelle Schwartz shares her story on how NaNoWriMo helped her sign on with a literary agent! She also offers some lessons she learned from taking on the challenge — and maybe it'll inspire you too!
Are you an author with dreams of being represented by a literary agent? If so, I’m here to tell you that NaNoWriMo played a key role in my journey to signing with my agent, Michelle Jackson at LCS Literary.
I received an offer on the manuscript I drafted during my first NaNoWriMo in 2022. Fun fact, I signed my contract during November in 2023, exactly a year after writing the book. Reflecting back, there were choices I made that I hope will give you insight into how your NaNoWriMo project could lead to securing representation.
Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone
I’ve been an avid reader of young adult mysteries and thrillers ever since middle school. For this reason, I naturally gravitated to those genres when I started writing books. Still, I’ve grown to appreciate all genres from my MFA in Writing Popular Fiction program at Seton Hill University, a top one being fantasy. When I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo, I stepped outside my comfort zone and drafted a young adult Little Red Riding Hood reimagining with Greek mythology.
Exploring a different genre led to me writing the book that got me my agent. So, if you’re interested in taking the NaNoWriMo challenge, consider trying something new. Along the way, you’ll expand your creative horizons.
Planning Before Taking the Challenge
Something I noticed after participating in NaNoWriMo twice now is that planning my books led to me feeling invested in them. As authors, we always have ideas bouncing around in our heads. Some stick, and others don’t. Taking time to explore my characters, plot, world, and more made me realize how much I loved what I was creating. Before I even started writing on November 1, I felt passionate about my story.
When you’re pitching agents, your goal is to sell your story. Having such a strong belief in your manuscript will allow you to authentically query it. Passion shines through, and if you care about your book, an agent may fall in love with it, too.
Taking Time to Receive Feedback and Revise
I can’t stress enough how important it is to receive feedback on your work and do several rounds of revisions. Once you draft a book during NaNoWriMo, it may be difficult to resist the temptation to send it out right away. Rather than querying a manuscript that isn’t ready, channel your eagerness to share your work into finding critique partners and beta readers.
For my manuscript, I did a revision on my own after winning NaNoWriMo. Then, I received critiques, made edits, and repeated this process until I felt my manuscript was ready. I queried my agent in August, and she offered me representation at the end of October. I truly believe the time and effort I put into polishing my book led to getting many full requests and my offer.
If I would have pitched the draft from NaNoWriMo, I’m 100 percent sure my email would have been flooded with only rejections. So, remember to take your time revising. The wait will be worth it when you begin receiving positive responses to submissions.
Now that it’s a new year, there’s a long runway before November arrives. It’s never too early to start planning your NaNoWriMo project. Since this challenge gave me the opportunity to draft the book that made one of my dreams come true, I hope you feel inspired to take a strategic approach to your NaNoWriMo project and give it wings to soar in the publishing world.
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Demi Michelle Schwartz is a young adult fantasy and thriller author from Pittsburgh, PA, represented by Michelle Jackson at LCS Literary. After earning BAs in Creative Writing and Music from Seton Hill University, she went on to pursue her MFA in Writing Popular Fiction at Seton Hill and graduated with her degree in June of 2022. When Demi isn’t working on her manuscripts, she’s busy chasing her other dream as an award-winning songwriter and recording artist.
Check out her website, Twitter, and Instagram!
Header photo by Negative Space.
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eisforeidolon · 3 days
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Question: I want to know what was your most favorite unscripted scene or your least favorite scripted scene or moment?
Jared: Oh wow. Great question. I'm thinking about a moment where -
Jensen: Wait, let me guess - I punched you?
Jared: Yep, where Sam gets possessed by the Meg demon and finally gets exorcised, but he had been like, kinda torturing Dean? And so Dean reaches over, after Sam is back to Sam, like 'What happened?' and just punches him? That was in season two, Jesus.
Jensen: That wasn't scripted.
Jared: That wasn't scripted. There's so much that wasn't necessarily scripted, you know? Certain moments - one of my least favorite things, maybe my least favorite thing that any writer can put into a script? Is like, Dean cries, Sam breaks down, Dean tears up, Sam and you know, whatever, do this. 'Cause there were so many, if you were to go through all of the scenes of Supernatural, which there are many? And then watch the episodes, rarely was there a sequence where it was like they get emotional where we did and there was so many where they don't even mention that we get emotional, but you just feel it. You're just there and you're like - I hate it where it's like, this is where I'm supposed to cry [derisive noise]. 'Cause sometimes you don't even know, you'll go through a scene and you'll go, like, oh shit, like, that's hittin' deep. And it's not because it's scripted. So offhand, God -
Jensen: I think there's a lot of moments, especially some of the emotional moments. One comes to mind, which is the barn scene -
Audience: Which one?
Jensen: [slightly incredulous tone] Which one?
Jared: The most recent one.
Jensen: Yeah.
Jared: Genius.
Jensen: Where I'd be interested to go back and look - and I can't remember if - maybe they didn't use it, go back and read that scene on the script and see how word for word it was on the performance. Because I feel like there were takes where I know I would maybe repeat myself, or I would say some things that I thought were, you know, dove into the emotion even more. And it wasn't something I'd planned, it's just like - felt it, you just feel something and if - when you've worked with somebody for so long, and you're so comfortable with the character, and you know the story so well, you can be available for those things to hit and you can act on them, and you can say those words, and you can say something that just makes it feel more real. And I feel like we did that in that scene, there was some dialogue that maybe was added -
Jared: It's a lot. I know, yeah.
Jensen: or massaged, or you know.
Jared: I don't know if it was ever added to a revision, or if we just did it, but the callback of, like, I can't do this alone, yes you can, well I don't want to? It's the exact same words that Dean said to Sam and vice versa. So there was stuff that wasn't scripted initially - and that goes back to an earlier question, about if there's stuff like Jensen do whatever you want. Like the feeling of that scene was like, here guys, we know this intense -
Jensen: Here's the template.
Jared: here's the template, make it y'all's. Like, y'all know Sam and Dean more than anybody ever will, you make it yours. And so he and I had a couple months because then COVID happened, the pandemic, and so we made it ours. It was so hard to rehearse that scene.
Jensen: Well, even the - like it was scripted where I was on the ground. [Jared: Yeah.] And Jared comes up and kind of cradles me and I'm, you know, like, effectively dying in his arms.
Jared: Which would have been so long to try and carry your ass.
Jensen: And I just felt really strongly, and I've told this story before, and I went to Bob Singer, who directed that episode, I went to him a couple days prior just thinking about that scene, because it was a monster, and it was looming. And I just - it didn't feel right, to die laying down. And I said, hey, is there any way - because they were still building the set - I was like, is there any way, can we figure out a way for me to die on my feet? And Bob was like, [curmudgeonly voice] how the hell are you gonna do that? Who dies on their feet? And I'm like, Dean Winchester dies on his feet. And he made it work brilliantly, because he came, I think he came up with the idea that the impalement was so severe that if you removed it - and then we had to add that dialogue in, so it made me stay there on my feet and I think it was just such a much more powerful visual, to see these two brothers face to face in that moment. And so, you know, that was certainly one big thing that was totally unscripted that I fought for and I'm really happy I did, because -
Jared: Hell yes.
Jensen: I think it just made that scene that much more powerful.
Jared: Also I'm grinning to myself because I've watched a lot of the 15x20 reaction videos, the finale? And there's some really savvy tv viewers out there who've seen a lot of different television shows, a lot of different episodes of them. And you'll watch some and they'll be like, 'Oh, yeah, oh Sam's takin' on the big guy, oh yeah take that blah blah blah!' And then when Dean goes to the post and then runs out where it shows, they'll be like, 'Yeah - oh no. Oh c'mon now, no no no, they just showed that for too long - Oh shit! And then, like, turn it off because I'm crying.
Jensen: I still love the fact that the stunt guy, who is awesome, he's like ex-military, giant, one of the biggest guys we've ever had on our show, his name was Heidi. And he killed Dean Winchester [laughs]. But he's an awesome guy and in fact I was just in Vancouver and working with Jesse and Jesse and Heidi are like super close buds now, so it was good to kinda reminisce with those guys a little bit.
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blacst4r · 1 day
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𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥🧸🎂
𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩. solo sikoa x black fem
𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮. tiana receives a special surprise on her birthday, and a lot more than that.
🔖: a fic from my first acc, I kept it saved so here's a repost with minor revisions.
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"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIANA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!" a loud roar of applause followed suit as everyone around the table clapped it up for the birthday girl turning "dirty 30," as her friends like to put it. Tiana shined as bright as the smile she flashed to her guests, mouthing a thank you and blowing air kisses as they settled down. Every year she aimed to celebrate her birthday like it was the most important day out of 365. But this celebration was one for the books, as she hit another important milestone in her life. And everyone she knew and loved went all out for it with lavish gifts and heartfelt words of adoration, making her feel the utmost important. They even rented out an entire restaurant for her special day.
She appreciated it all as she looked through glossy eyes at the small personalized cake they had made for her, it was heart-shaped and decorated in glittery pink icing with royal embellishments, the words Bad Bitch Szn imprinted in the center. It was topped with a single lit candle, waiting to be blown out. She had many gentle eyes on her as she silently made her wish, to live a long life full of prosperity. She took a deep breath and blew out the candle, opening her own eyes to see warm smiles.
"Thank you guys" she said wholeheartedly, fanning her face as she became teary eyed.
"Wait wait, before you fuck up ya makeup- snap some pics right quick" her bestie said to the photographer who went over to Tiana, snapping a couple shots that were likely being posted to the gram later on.
"Okay nooow cry" her bestie encouraged, making everyone laugh as Tiana used a napkin to lightly dab under her eyes.
The mood was light hearted as the conversation flowed smoothly, along with the food and drinks. Family and friends reminisced back on their favorite moments with Tiana, and vice versa. Soon the topic transitioned to a club they were gonna hit up afterwards to round out the night, or morning.
One of her girls leaned in to whisper, "you got one more gift" making Tiana's brow raise, "oh really? Is it outside?" thinking of a car possibly parked out. "It's comin' in." Now she was confused as what 'it' could be as she looked to the door, to see another girlfriend bringing someone over.
Someone, who made her jaw drop in shock as her hands flew over her mouth at just who was approaching the table. "Sefa??" her muffled voice seemingly confirming that last present.
She let out a squeal as she stood up and rushed over to a childhood friend, hugging him with her arms slinging around his neck, and his around her waist. A slew of giggles escaped her and they rocked back and forth for what felt like forever. His lips were dangerously close to her neck as he chuckled, "whats goin' on birthday girl." It was almost as if they were the only ones in the place at the moment.
She moved her hands down to his broad shoulders, caressing them some through the jacket he wore. "Oh my god look at you" she breathed, still overcome with emotion as she cupped his face, inspecting him real good. Damn, was he FINE fine now, she thought. He was donned in an all black fit with a gold link to accessorize the neck and a beanie. His facial hair was doing something extra for her as she felt a little flushed being this close to a now grown-ass Sefa.
"Damn I'm that ugly?" he joked as they both shared a laugh, he unhooked one of his arms to reveal a bag he was holding that she hadn't even noticed. "Happy Birthday T T," a slight shiver went up her spine at the nickname he used for her rolling off his tongue so sensually. She took the bag, planting a kiss on the corner of his lips as she grabbed his hand "thank you for coming stranger, long time no see. We gotta catch up, you want some cake?" she asked while walking him to the table. His eyes trailed down to her ass in that dress, "hell yeah" he answered huskily.
For the rest of the time spent, it was as if they were in their own world, too consumed in each other to notice anyone else present. They'd gotten right back on track where they left off of several years ago when they graduated from high-school. Updating each other on how their lives have been going, with Tiana being shocked at his profession now. "Oh you wrestle? Ion know anything about that but do your big one!!" he laughed at her compliment. "Appreciate it, and I am. I see you doin' yo big one too" his gaze traveled across her full figure as he bit his lip, making her tense up with a lil throb down there.
Her face flushed with a warmth as she giggled "stooop" she playfully pushed him as he captured her hand in his, making her nerves jolt. He inspected at her fingers curiously, "Ion see no ring, all them times you kept talkin about how you was gon be married when you got older." She sensed the tone in his voice for something deeper as they locked eyes. "I just haven't met the right one." He nodded, placing a kiss on the back of her hand that she then placed on his thigh.
"You comin' out with us? We hittin' up the club after?" she seemed eager for him to join, and he noticed that, agreeing.
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The dj was playing all the right songs too, as 'Hellcats srts' by Sexxy Red blasted through the speakers as Tiana drunkenly twerked on an equally drunk Sefa manspread in his seat enjoying the view. Maybe if she wasn't off several liquors she wouldn't have had the courage to twerk on him, but in their shared inhibited state, all that scary shit was out the window.
He tugged her down onto his lap, directly on his growing bulge earning a moan from the both of them. She leaned back into his chest, turning her head towards his with a lackadaisical smile.
"Wha'chu think you doin huh?" he taunted as she rolled her hips against his print, biting her lip at the friction, damn it felt big. "Makin up for lost tiiime," she slurred sexily as he snickered. "You crazy you know that?"
"That's not how you treat a friend" she whined in a pout. "Then how do you treat a friend TT?" the deepening of his voice anchored in her soul making her heat ache between her thighs. Especially from the way his hand kept feeling on her side, and along her curves. The way his fine ass was looking enticed her to bring his lips closer, and closer until they smashed into hers, moving harmoniously, with an intensifying desire.
She moaned as their mouths opened for their tongues to deliciously clash. He broke the kiss to mumble, "that still aint answer my question ma" as they eyed each other in lust.
Later on, that same lust that would emit from their naked bodies as they collided in passion on her king size bed, their clothes scattered around the room she welcomed him in.
Her friend dropped Tiana and Sefa off at her crib, already knowing what time it was when they couldn't keep their hands off each other in the backseat, making out. She smirked seeing them slightly staggering to the front door Tiana struggled to unlock, eventually doing so, and it was on from the moment they stepped foot in the house.
It took no time for him to be digging in her guts with that lengthy girth as she held onto him for dear life. Pounding her so good as her mangled screams bounced off the four walls while her own were being explored. The only sound that was just as loud was their skin clapping at a rhythm due to his fast paced, bottomless thrusts. He would barely even pull out before snapping his hips forward, driving back into her and making his balls slap against her hole.
His head was buried in her neck, whispering sweet nothings that coaxed even more of her nectar to soak his dick. "Shit, you like that? How I beat dat pussy up?" he grunted. She answered with more uncontrollable sounds of pleasure that made him lift his head up. "Nah that aint good enough, talk to me while I'm in yo shit" he snarled.
But she didn't have the strength to pronounce anything while having her soul snatched like this. And when he somehow speed up even more, it almost knocked the wind out of her. "Dick got you speechless huh?”
Shit, he was fucking her so hard the bed was rocking, with headboard hitting the wall like construction. He was workin on her pussy though, tearin it up. He had her back arched, toes curling about to pop, nails carving into his back surely to burn like hell when the hot water would hit it in the morning. But tonight the only thing hittin was his dickhead against her g-spot, over and over. She was about to explode as her fluttering eyes clamped shut, and her walls clamored around his massive flesh earning a deep groan from him. "Open that shit up and let it out, don't hold back."
"Fuuuck!!! Daddy!" she barely choked out before a series of stiff, rugged thrusts, stole her ability to speak. All he heard was blood-curdling screams before he pulled out, her hips lifting from the bed as she squirted projectiles at him with a squeal. Her body stiffened as her juices pushed out before subsiding.
He licked his lips with a laugh, "Damn I gotchu like dat?" amazement etched in his voice.
She panted, struggling to catch her breath, mind in a whirlwind leaving her light-headed, "oh my god! You missed me that much?"
He snickered, "you tryna joke huh? I’m tryna see how much you missed me too, so come ride this dick" he demanded, lying back on the bed. She was given no time to collect herself after being dicked down as he awaited her presence on top of that horse.
And gathered herself, watching him through hooded eyes still clouded by lust, sitting up and went to straddle him. Her manicured nails gripped his beefy mass to ease it through her slit while she lowered herself, taking every inch of him with her. "Mmph!...fuuuck!!" she gasped as he nudged that spot again, long and thick was a dangerous combination.
Flipping her hair over she palmed his chest, bouncing her ass at a slow but steady tempo to get adjusted to his size. She'd never had a dick this massive, whining about it in response. "You can take it…just like that” he coached lovingly as she rode him with agonizing whimpers, tediously stroking his pole up and down at a snails pace. He was a lot to take in, quite literally.
"Tell me how that feel baby" his voice dripped sweet honey nectar, sopped in a delicious desire.
"So fuckin good... you so big!"
“You got it baby, c’mere” he urged as she bent down, meeting his lips as they entangled sloppy with wet smacks from trading saliva. He hiked his legs up to pump her cunt a little faster. His hands groped her fat succulent flesh, giving it a couple harsh smacks before squeezing her ass. "Shit fat, who you get this thick for?"
She broke the kiss, "mmm, you daddy...f-fuck me harder" she begged.
"Thats whatchu want?" he asked, switching up the tempo before she could answer. His dick rammed through her at what felt like a hundred mph. Tiana unraveled at his torturous bliss as her mouth hung open, words lodged in her throat. Her lashes fluttered rapidly, eyes threatening to roll back into her head.
"This whatchu wanted huh?" Sefa goaded, fucking her hard and rough.
"Uh huh" she inhaled sharply.
"You gon cum fa daddy?"
"Yes! Yes!" she cried out weakly as he wrecked her insides with abandon. His arms entrapped her frame, holding her hostage. As she soon came, he chased after his climax with hurried strokes as his face relaxed, and his eyes clamped shut. He let out a low, guttural growl as released inside her, emptying his load with a gruff outcry, "uuggh shit!" His pumps slowed down, eventually stopping when he hollowed himself out.
They shared loud, short-winded breaths of exhaustion as she collapsed on his chest. He looked down at her, his fingers grazed her spine as he softly mumured, "how you like yo birthday gift?"
She smiled warmly, snuggling up against him, "I love it."
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Mutual 🏷 : @trc-punzel @solefae @theninthwonder @empressdede @whatdoeseverybodywant
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