#these guys breathe new life into 'i am so goth i was born black'
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2020 review
Disclaimer: You won’t hear much about the virus in this.
I’m not a denier, I know the damage and destruction covid19 has caused and the death toll, therefore I am not yet cold enough not to realise this is going to sound completely selfish, but that is my decision. My reviews focus on MY year.
Just so you’re aware.
“I accept chaos, I’m not sure whether it accepts me.” Bob Dylan.
2020...
What can I say?
This was the year I decided to officially identify as Non-Binary, not that anyone actually cares or believes me or things i'm "(insert stereotype at will)" enough. except for those very VERY rare people who do and who actually listen and hear me when I speak
Anyway -It has been a trashcan fire of a year since February/March
February when I saw the Hu and Counterfeit alongside Ally.
And I say February/March because that was the weekend I say my year ended...the good part anyway. Because it was that weekend when I got the ultimate honour, privilege and miracle of meeting Jason Carter,
After that it was like a Dementor had French kissed the year and I can’t be the only one who thought it?
Conventions and gigs postponed, rescheduled and ultimately cancelled, masks, social distancing, lockdowns the works.
And can I just say - I didn’t clap, and I don’t feel in the slightest bit ashamed for it. Despite or maybe because I have friends and a few family who work in the NHS I couldn't bear to be a part of the hypocritical BS idea.
I live in a country that will clap for their 'beloved' life saving NHS but then stand silent when Pay rises are frozen and when the NHS is in danger, we as a country expect a lot but don't lift a finger to gave back, clapping doesn’t pay bills.
But...Bright points in the year let’s try staying positive and leaving the crap outside shall we...well...
The main one has got to be that the US finally found their sense and President Elect Joe Biden will b sworn in January 20, 2021.
After that... I’ll have to get back to you.
Oh...no..no that’s not one... seriously I’ll have a think and get back to you.
Conventions:
Just one this year, for me, because of the obvious... But what a convention
FCD Events presents 2258 a Babylon 5 Conventions:
Where, as well as finally being among actual self confessed fans and being able to tick a b5 convention off my bucket list after starting cons way too late to attend the OG cons I did the impossible...
I MET JASON CARTER... have I mentioned this? Have I? Should I say t again? I MET JASON CARTER!!!
Also Mira Furlan, Tracy Scoggins and Patricia Tallman, but I met him! Finally!
And... Just a reminder I did warn you guys, several times that it was likely hell would freeze over if I ever got that particular honour, do not say I didn’t.
I’d never done an FCD before, I’d meant to, even bought a ticket but it just never seemed to happen, but the second someone said b5 con, I was so there!
Karan Robinson made my year by making me the Anla’Shok uniform. And Nadine added the cherry on top by making the belt buckle that ONLY Marcus and Entil’Zha Sinclair wear: D (for the record: Velcro still hates me)
David one of the organisers of FCD kept randomly shouting
“We live for the one.” And when people other than m actually knew the response and responded... dude kick in the feels I kid you not.
Next Year (Angel Willing) Adam and I are attending the Teen Wolf conventions entitled “Howl at the Moon 4” in Paris, France... which is cool on so many levels not least of which being I get to meet JR Bourne and Daniel Sharman again and get to visit the church of St Julian of the poor.
And yes, there are cons planned here in the UK. But... well. It’s already looking Grey, and not the good kind.
Music and Gigs:
Two gigs one after the other at the 02 Ritz in Manchester.
The First:
The Hu a Mongolian band who Ally really likes and I think are pretty cool. They are amazing live there’s no doubt, can hold their own in England even in a room of idiots.
The 2nd :
Counterfeit (also with Ally)
I went VIP and got to meet the boys again, and listen to a Q&A with them.
I will forever love them, not just because of Jamie’s acting side despite what people say.
Didn’t realise how special until recently though because; after keeping fans going and hyping up new singles during lockdowns, they recently decided to go their separate ways.
Jamie’s gone solo and he’s put three songs out on YouTube.
_
I was meant to be attending a one off gig by Ruelle and Fleurie both of who had music used on Shadowhunters, even talked my friend Lou into it, but it was a victim of the lockdowns and things and I’m not the optimistic type so I doubt it’ll ever happen now, will be lucky if even one of the ladies comes over here if I’m honest.
Recently I’ve rediscovered a love for Black Veil Brides and their leader Andy Black’s solo stuff.
Olivia Hyde of Bad Pollyanna recently killed everyone in her black unicorn’s fanbase with an amazing solo album, me included.
Ally has introduced me to a few interesting bands this year,
*Wingtips – very 80s Goth, very Ally (translation: very cool.)
*Allegiance Reign – a Japanese Samurai metal band, not sure what Ally actually thinks of these guys, she found them while perusing YouTube and thought of me :D
Suggestions greatly accepted, I am always up for giving new stuff a try.
Hopefully next year things will even out and gigs will be able to be put on again.
TV and Fandom’s:
*We FINALLY got Roswell: New Mexico in the UK, and ITV blitzed through 2 seasons in less than a month, but it was enough for me to decide I loved it, maybe more than I did the original. Alex is my fave, but obv Michael isn’t half bad, nor is Max when he’s not making goo-goo eyes at Liz.
* Finally got to see 9-1-1 Lone Star and I absolutely love it, (I kinda knew I would from all the talk)
* Decided to give the Charmed reboot a 2nd look and it’s proved addictive, now waiting for s2 to be downloadable on Amazon or something.
*In march I was so, so excited for the return of The Expanse and the fact the main cast were coming to a con in the UK, then.. The verse went to hell. I still Love the Expanse, but I’m not as die hard as I was, not for lack of trying. Still love it for Anna of course, any excuse to see her.
*After 15 years Supernatural finally ended in 2020 with season15:
I stopped watching religiously at the end of season 6 but that does not mean I stopped liking the show just that I didn’t like the direction (like with The Expanse recently)
I loved watching the reaction of the fans, and how much they (we if I’m counted) mean to the cast.
* I have to mention Cursed... If only to say HOLY HELL DANIEL!
𝑴𝒚 𝑭𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝑻𝑽 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒐𝒇 2020
Cursed
9-1-1 Lone Star & 9-1-1
Warrior Nun
Prodigal Son
Penny Dreadful: City of Angels
Doctor who (Officially season12)
Roswell s1&2 (it counts cos ITV only just got the reboots)
Charmed s1&2(it counts cos E4 only just got the reboots)
Call the Midwife (s9 btw)
Our Girl
Strike Back: Vendetta
Friends:
“Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
My understanding of "friendship." is skewed, and I’m not saying that to be "Vulcan." it’s honest, and anyone who wants to know how or why just has to ask. But let’s leave it at that for this.
It makes some things more stark... and I've said this recently, but this binfire has made even me more aware of who’s out there in my verse, whose pack, who’s potential, and who’s just pathetic.
The last I’m not going to waste my breath on.
The first two: Pack and Potential (read: new acquaintances /potential friends)
Pack:
Yes I go on about friends as 'Pack like a person whose OD'd on Teen Wolf... because I am so :P
My pack as a whole are varied, and spread out across this country with a few dotted around Europe and Aus. hopefully they know who they are because I don't do mushy crap as they know. But if they do know, they know I'm there when I'm needed and more than willing to sod off when not. Yorkshire brass makes me frank and I’d hope fair.
There are 2...mayb 3 who sit above the rest, in special place for the things they've done and things they've been through with me.
I make no denial of that.
But everyone is important to me. I wouldn't change them for anything....
Ok... tell a lie, maybe 1 or 2 when they do my box in, but that’s only like for a week maybe less.
I've spent too many years and got too many scars and burned too many photos and bridges because of fake people and users to not be honest to a fault. It’s who I am.
Potential:
the Counterfeit gig in Manchester, 2258 and yes even Tiktok have given me the opportunity to make some interesting acquaintances this year, and some I hope will become friends in the real in the future, but for now I will say -
"I am defensive, stand off ish, sometimes bull headed and of course opinionated, but I am by no means blind. Or blinkered despite what may be said of me. I am there when needed, if I can be of use, just poke me."
Ave Atqua Vale
This section has its own post these days. Sadly.
Pictures
Will try and make one of my “a year in ten pics.” Posts later.
Final words
While I am not fond of this time of year, Enjoy your celebrations whatever for they may take,
I will be watching The Magicians / Call the Midwife and plotting 202? Cosplays.
I will be here when (fk knows why) I'm needed.
Otherwise- Compliments of the season, now go get a beer, i'm sure you need it after reading this crap.
in the words of The one and only Jason Carter
“Hindsight is 2020″
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ccvii.
1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
>> Height isn’t important to me. I’m slightly taller than Can Calah, shorter than Eden, and substantially smaller in general than Vinternoll, and that’s the way I like it. (I am usually around the same height in headspace as I am in meatspace)
2: What’s your dream pet (real or not)?
>> Gaudior the winged unicorn (A Swiftly Tilting Planet)
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
>> I have quite a few favourite clothing styles. I’ll always be some sort of goth at heart, I will say.
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
>> My favourite computer games were The Logical Journey of the Zoombinis and Alien Tales. I had like a weird kid-crush on Sal of deCentury, the alien game show host... (and who at all is surprised)
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
>> Oh, I don’t know.
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
>> Warning: Black Carcosa is a caustic irradiated substance. Prolonged contact with Black Carcosa may cause severe mental deterioration, burns and lesions (or legions, even), and enhanced delusions of reference. Please consult your psychologist before engaging Black Carcosa. Keep away from children, pets, your electronics, and anything else whose innocence and integrity you hold dear.
7: What is your Greek personality type (Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic)?
>> Primarily Phlegmatic, it seems.
8: Are you ticklish?
>> Not usually.
9: Are you allergic to anything?
>> No.
10: What’s your sexuality?
>> There are a lot of things I’d gladly fuck, but not a whole lot of humans.
11: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
>> I greatly prefer tea.
12: Are you a cat or dog person?
>> My preference leans towards dogs.
13: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
>> I identify most with elves, out of the three.
14: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
>> No.
15: How tall are you?
>> 5′4″.
16: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
>> I’d like to not wish to change my name anymore, actually.
17: How much do you weigh?
>> Somewhere between 130 and 135 lbs.
18: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
>> I am open to the experience.
19: Do you like space or the ocean more?
>> I am more interested in what lies beyond this planet than what lies on it, although this planet is also extremely fascinating in all its complexity.
20: Are you religious?
>> Intensely.
21: Pet peeves?
>> Passivity.
22: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal (opposite of nocturnal)?
>> I... am fine being mostly nocturnal.
23: Favorite constellation?
>> Orion. Always Orion.
24: Favorite star?
>> I haven’t chosen one.
25: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
>> Sure, especially custom ones.
26: Any phobias or fears?
>> Meh.
27: Do you think global warming is real?
>> I understand climate change as a process that occurs, yes.
28: Do you believe in reincarnation?
>> I am open to the experience.
29: Favorite movie?
>> The Fountain / Interstellar.
30: Do you get scared easily?
>> No.
31: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
>> I used to take care of a couple of cats, for a short time. Fyodor and Hela. But almost all of the pets I’ve lived with have technically been under the custodianship of others.
32: What is a color that calms you?
>> Soft, slightly desaturated bluish-grey.
33: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
>> I would prefer to live in New Orleans and travel anywhere.
34: Where were you born?
>> Elizabeth, New Jersey.
35: What is your eye color?
>> Dark brown.
36: Introvert or extrovert?
>> Mostly introvert. Entirely disinterested in “introvert culture”.
37: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
>> I am open to the experience (and especially attracted to astrology, as I’m sure my reblogs suggest).
38: Hugs or kisses?
>> Meh.
39: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
>> I’m fine not doing that.
40: Who is someone you love deeply?
>> Can Calah.
41: Any piercings you want?
>> Sure, if the opportunity presented itself. My focus is mostly on tattoos.
42: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
>> Quite.
43: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?
>> I smoke occasionally.
44: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
>> My crushes at this point are pretty much celebrities and fictional characters, which is to say I have way too many of them to answer this question.
45: What is a sound you really hate?
>> Mouth sounds.
46: A sound you really love?
>> The sounds people make when they’re aroused but trying to keep it together.
47: Can you do a backflip?
>> Not even a little bit. I saw a video where someone taught himself how to do backflips in a single afternoon. I was duly impressed.
48: Can you do the splits?
>> No.
49: Favorite actor and/or actress?
>> Idris Elba. Actress... maybe Rutina Wesley.
50: Favorite book?
>> Ha!
51: How are you feeling right now?
>> Neutral.
52: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
>> I really don’t care.
53: When did you feel happiest?
>> ---
54: Something that calms you down?
>> Time.
55: Have any mental disorders?
>> I’m more than pretty sure I do, but I haven’t been properly diagnosed a day in my life.
56: What does your URL mean?
>> It was a play on “Lost Carcosa”. It eventually came to just represent... me. Now it’s a brand of sorts, so I am loath to use any other username (save for blackThirteen, which I sometimes use on websites where it’s not already taken by someone else; blackThirteen + foundCarcosa = blackCarcosa, which is what I really should be using, but it’s a little late now).
57: What three words describe you the most?
>> Just three? Ha!
58: Do you believe in evolution?
>> I have been convinced of evolution’s veracity.
59: What makes you unfollow a blog?
>> Over a month of inactivity or a change to content that doesn’t interest me are the two main reasons I unfollow. Sometimes I unfollow for things like political platforming or too much unsourced content or having too much of the same kind of content on my dashboard or... any number of reasons, really. Sometimes a person’s opinion (or the way they present their opinion) just pisses me off and I’m not invested enough in the blog to keep them around anyway.
60: What makes you follow a blog?
>> Content that I enjoy, usually. It’s pretty simple. Sometimes I have compulsive following sprees and then I have to prune later, which is a thing about myself that I’ve just gotten used to.
61: Favorite kind of person:
>> Right.
62: Favorite animal(s):
>> Snakes, spiders, otters, capybaras, and so on.
63: Name three of your favorite blogs.
>> transistorxiii, lilithsconcubine (bet money she’ll have changed her url again by the time I post this, lmao), coldalbion.
64: Favorite emoticon:
>> The cry-laughing one. I abuse the shit out of that face.
65: Favorite meme:
>> Right now, probably BONELESS or that one image with the guy and the two girls that is so goddamn versatile that I haven’t gotten sick of it yet despite the fact that it’s everywhere.
66: What is your MBTI personality type?
>> My last result was INTJ. I don’t care much for MBTI anymore.
67: What is your star sign?
>> Gemini sun, Gemini moon, Scorpio rising, etc etc.
68: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
>> ---
69: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
>> Ghast brand rave pants and a Doctor Strange shirt, it seems.
70: Post a selfie or two?
>> http://foundcarcosa.tumblr.com/tagged/this-malleable-shell
71: Do you have platform shoes?
>> I don’t.
72: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
>> I used to be extremely competent at Guitar Hero / Rock Band because back when those games were popular, Best Buy and Circuit City would have stations set up in their stores where you could play them; and because I was homeless and tumblr wasn’t invented to become my biggest timesink yet, I would just stay in the stores playing guitar games all day. So I got good at it. As one does.
73: Can you do a front flip?
>> No.
74: Do you like birds?
>> Sure.
75: Do you like to swim?
>> I can’t swim, so I don’t know if I’d like it or not. I mean, probably.
76: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
>> I can’t do either.
77: Something you wish didn’t exist:
>> Meh.
78: Some thing you wish did exist:
>> Everything I can conceive does exist... in some form, on some plane.
79: Piercings you have?
>> Earlobes and septum.
80: Something you really enjoy doing:
>> Playing video games.
81: Favorite person to talk to:
>> Can Calah.
82: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
>> I was extremely confused by tumblr when I first tried it out. So I abandoned it for a little over a year, and then I had to make a new account when I came back because I’d forgotten the login for the old one.
83: How many followers do you have?
>> Here, 629.
84: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
>> I can’t run a mile, period.
85: Do your socks always match?
>> No. I don’t bother matching my socks. Mismatched ones are more fun, anyway.
86: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
>> No.
87: What are your birthstones?
>> Emerald, I think? I forget the other.
88: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
>> *waggles Mordred’s spidery legs*
89: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
>> Probably a black calla lily.
90: A store you hate?
>> Abercrombie and Fitch. Their store is fragranced or something. Like they put cologne swatches in the air ducts. IDFK. It’s aggravating. Also, I hate that kind of fashion.
91: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
>> I usually drink zero.
92: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
>> Flying is more interesting than being Sookie Stackhouse.
93: Do you like to wear camo?
>> No.
94: Winter or summer?
>> I have a preference for winter.
95: How long can you hold your breath for?
>> I don’t know.
96: Least favorite person?
>> ---
97: Someone you look up to:
>> *insert obvious joke here*
98: A store you love?
>> Trash & Vaudeville. I wonder if it’s closed / moved yet.
99: Favorite type of shoes
>> I prefer combat boot type shoes.
100: Where do you live?
>> *grumbles*
101: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
>> Pescatarian. I just don’t care for meat much. I’ll eat a chicken sandwich sometimes, but otherwise I’ll stick to seafood.
102: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
>> Smoky quartz is nice. Bismuth is cool as shit. Geodes are where it’s at, though.
103: Do you drink milk?
>> No.
104: Do you like bugs?
>> Most of them, yeah.
105: Do you like spiders?
>> My children. <3
106: Something you get paranoid about?
>> My physical health, sometimes.
107: Can you draw?:
>> I can. I can’t draw well, though.
108: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
>> I don’t know. Nosy questions don’t bother me, though.
109: A question you hate being asked?
>> Anything regarding my gender. Like, who cares. Stop boring me.
110: Ever been bitten by a spider?
>> Not that I’m aware of.
111: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
>> Oh, yes.
112: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
>> It depends on how I feel that day in general. Either is good, but sometimes one is definitely better than the other.
113: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
>> ---
114: Favorite cloud type:
>> Definitely cumulonimbus.
115: What color do you wish the sky was?
>> My eyes interpret the sky as a variety of colours depending on time of day, weather conditions, and what pair of sunglasses I have on, and you know what, that’s good enough for me.
116: Do you have freckles?
>> No.
117: Favorite thing about a person:
>> ---
118: Fruits or vegetables?
>> All of the above.
119: Something you want to do right now:
>> I’m fine with what I’m doing.
120: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
>> How could I possibly choose one over the other...? I like it best when I can observe both at the same time, actually. Maximum loveliness.
121: Sweet or sour foods?
>> Savoury, spicy, sour. Sweetness only as a balancing agent.
122: Bright or dim lights?
>> Dim and diffuse, always.
123: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
>> I am open to all experiences.
124: Something you hate about Tumblr:
>> The poor functionality bits. Coding issues, inefficiency in design, stuff I can’t do anything about because I don’t work there.
125: Something you love about Tumblr:
>> Everything else, more or less. I wouldn’t spend so much time here if I wasn’t genuinely enjoying myself.
126: What do you think about the least?
>> How would I know?
127: What would you want written on your tombstone?
>> I am not interested in a tombstone at all.
128: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
>> Someone sexy who had a kink for being punched in the face.
129: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
>> The fact that I am so easily bored and so interested in experience leads to interesting experiences and a tendency to be open to new things... but sometimes it just leads to recklessness and irritability.
130: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
>> Yeah, most of the time.
131: Computer or TV?
>> Computer, which is often used as a television anyway.
132: Do you like roller coasters?
>> I do.
133: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
>> No.
134: Are your ears free or attached?
>> Unattached.
135: Do you believe in karma?
>> The original concept of karma is more understandable to me than the modern colloquial definition.
136: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
>> I’m a solid 8 to myself, but you know.
137: What nicknames do you have/have had?
>> Rev, Eddie, and Dio are my most used nicknames as of now.
138: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
>> I have always had Companions.
139: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
>> Yes.
140: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
>> It doesn’t matter to me either way.
141: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
>> I love to give gifts, but I also love to receive them. No reason I should have to choose. What I hate is compulsory gift exchanging. Miss me completely with that bull mess.
142: What makes you angry?:
>> Eh.
143: How many languages do you speak fluently?
>> One.
144: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
>> Meh.
145: Are you androgynous?
>> More or less.
146: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
>> I am pretty fond of my facial shape and features, and the kinda “greyboy” androgynous shape of my body. Also, this melanin is poppin. I would gladly take a little more, even.
147: Favorite thing about your personality:
>> What’s a personality?
148: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
>> Meh?
149: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
>> Why would I do that?
150: Do you like BuzzFeed?
>> It hasn’t given me reason to dislike it.
151: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner?
>> I met Sparrow on tumblr.
152: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
>> No.
153: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
>> That used to be a big stim of mine, but Tommy, my first boyfriend, broke me out of that pretty badly and I never got back into it. It’s like a mental block now. Aggravating.
154: What embarrasses you?
>> Meh?
155: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
>> ---
156: Biggest lie you have ever told:
>> I have no idea.
157: How many people are you following?
>> 1,047 right now.
158: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
>> This will be #20,540.
159: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
>> 6.
160: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
>> 87,104.
161: Last time you cried and why:
>> The last memory of crying that I have is when I was listening to these videos of Pearl Jam songs with just the vocals and guitar solos isolated. I lost my shit in the middle of “Black” and the only reason I remember is because I thought to myself, fucking hell, some tumblr survey is going to ask me about the last time I cried and I’m gonna have to tell the congregation that I cried because I love Eddie Vedder too much and I started laughing like an idiot.
162: Do you have long or short hair?
>> Short. Very short.
163: Longest your hair has ever been:
>> To my shoulders, I think, as a child. Not including weaves, braids, and so on.
164: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?
>> I love religion because... oh, I don’t know. It’s one of those things I don’t question too much because I’m not sure it has an easy answer. It just deeply resonates with me, is all. Yes, the whole concept of religion. Not any specific one, or anything. Just the root of it all. I don’t like what people do with religion a lot of the time, not at all... but whatever. People gonna people.
165: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
>> Well, sure. It’s fucking fascinating. Even if the theories are only theories, they’re still interesting to me. I’ll probably never know, but that won’t ever stop me from being curious.
166: Do you like to wear makeup?
>> Yes.
167: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
>> No.
168: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?
>> Sure.
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I’m adding a “keep reading” because this is a ton of questions!
1:Full name.
Rusty Shackleford aka Michael Chipz aka Wes Mantooth aka Ryan Pitts
2:Zodiac sign.
Libra
3:3 fears.
Dying alone, drowning, suffocating (any kind of death involving being unable to breathe, really), being killed by something I can’t see/being murdered in my sleep. I have a lot of death fears lol. I’m sure I have more fears than that, but I guess I’m also scared of the future and stuff that makes me anxious.
4:3 things I love.
Wrestling, Mega64, most of my family, my friends, video games, music, calmness and serenity, food, soda, soccer, football, sports in general, booty, curly hair, art, photography, art photography, cute girls, podcasting and just being a goof and making people laugh.
5:4 turn on’s.
I probably should have saved some of the things I love for this question lol. But yes, I love my a nice t h i c c booty or even a cute small one. I just love the booty, y’all. Praise be. I also like pale skin (I like everything though, don’t get it twisted. I think growing up with the goth/emo/scene subcultures has made me love girls that just don’t go out in the sun lol), curly hair, darker hair colors, when girls bite their lip, a sense of humor, athleticism, artsy girls, cute girls, girls that sing and/or play an instrument, Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona Flowers, dirty talk, intimacy, and that’s about the extent I’ll disclose before potentially grossing out my irl friends and family with nsfw stuff lol.
6:4 turn off’s.
My turn-offs are pretty normal, tbh. Just smell good and express interest in me and you’re good.
7:My best friend?
I hate choosing just ONE best friend, but one of my oldest friends who I love very much is my buddy Hassan. We’ve been friends since the third grade.
8:Sexual orientation?
Straight yo, and I’ve had time to make sure that I am in my head haha.
9:My best first date?
I honestly haven’t really gone on too many first dates. I went on a pretty good date with the last girl I dated, so I guess that one. We met on Tinder, and after a few months of texting each other because she had to go back to her college class out-of-state shortly after we matched, we finally met in-person at this mall. It was really nice.
10:How tall am I?
5′9″
11:What do I miss?
I miss a lot of things. I miss not having to stress about things. I miss how the relationship with my family used to be before I went to college. I miss intimacy and kissing and boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. I miss the beach (luckily, I’ll be going to Florida in a few days!!!). I miss a lot of dead wrestlers, Eddie Guerrero especially. I miss my friend David who committed suicide in high school. I miss having more time to play video games and to goof off. I dunno. I just miss stuff.
12:What time was I born?
No clue. My mom doesn’t remember.
13:Favorite color?
Blue. Royal blue, specifically
14:Do I have a crush?
I have a million crushes. Mostly the girls that I follow on this site! I also have crushes on Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, Lorde, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Aubrey Plaza, that curly-haired chick from Broad City. What’s her name…? Ilana… (takes time to look up last name) Glazer! Yeah, she’s fine as hell.
15:Favorite quote?
“Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.”
“Ideas are bulletproof.”
I’m sure there’s a quote from wrestling that I’ll think of later
16:Favorite place?
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
17:Favorite food?
General Tso’s chicken with cashews
18:Do I use sarcasm?
Yup
19:What am I listening to right now?
In this very moment? The sound of my fan.
In terms of music I’ve been listening to? My friend let me borrow his copy of Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp A Butterfly, so I’ve been mainly listening to that. I also alternate between Humanz by Gorillaz and Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN.
20:First thing I notice in new person?
Their voice or face, I guess?
21:Shoe size?
10.5-11 U.S.
22:Eye color?
Brown
23:Hair color?
It fluctuates between a darkish brown to almost black
24: Favorite style of clothing?
I hate picking just one lol. If I had to pick one, I really dig how skaters dress. I’ve always been a fan since Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.
25:Ever done a prank call?
I think so?
26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now?
Navy blue
27:Meaning behind my URL?
I really like the running gag from King of the Hill where Dale Gribble goes by the fake name Rusty Shackleford. Unfortunately, that username is taken, so I decided to stylize it like the Japanese metal band Maximum The Hormone, although I guess Shackleford The Rusty would fit that theme more? Oh well. I’m a brand now. I gotta maintain it.
28:Favorite movie?
Currently, it’s Pulp Fiction. It was V for Vendetta for the longest time. Yeah, I know. Shut up.
29:Favorite song?
I have so many. Forty Six and 2 by Tool is definitely one of my all-time favorites.
30:Favorite band?
Gorillaz and Tool are fighting for my top spot on a pretty consistent basis.
31:How I feel right now?
Mostly excited for my Florida trip!
32:Someone I love.
My siblings.
33:My current relationship status.
Single af
34:My relationship with my parents.
Fine, I guess?
35:Favorite holiday.
Christmas and Halloween
36:Tattoos and piercing I have.
None.
37:Tattoos and piercing I want.
I have no idea lol. I can’t think of anything that I wouldn’t hate in a month. Maybe something with a number 3 because I’m a triplet? No clue. I’m sure I’ll figure something out. I did want a lip piercing for a bit, and I sometimes get back into wanting one haha.
38:The reason I joined Tumblr.
Obscurus Lupa and other people on That Guy With The Glasses had Tumblrs. Being a fan of the site at the time, I would frequent their blogs to see what kinds of questions fans would ask. Eventually, I just made one and the rest is history.
39:Do I and my last ex hate each other?
Ex-girlfriend? No. We’re actually still friends.
Last girl I dated? Also no. We haven’t spoken since July though.
40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts?
Nah. I only really like those from girls I date anyway.
41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?
I have not!
42:When did I last hold hands?
It already feels like way too long ago. Realistically, a year or two.
43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
30 minutes to an hour depending if I need to shave my beard.
44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?
Nope. I don’t shave my legs.
45: Where am I right now?
My room.
46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
I guess either my friend Adam or my friend Derrick. I don’t think I’ve ever been drunk to the point of not being able to stand though lol.
47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
Reasonable. Protect your ears, kids.
48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
Unfortunately.
49:Am I excited for anything?
Florida!
50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
I think so!
51:How often do I wear a fake smile?
Mostly when I go to work lol.
52:When was the last time I hugged someone?
The other day, I believe.
53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
Well, that would be pretty messed up I guess since we haven’t talked in months. I would probably try to ignore them like the coward I am.
54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
Probably.
55:What is something I disliked about today?
Some of my friends weren’t able to hang with me today, one of which is soon going on a cross-country road trip for who knows how long, and I would like to see him before he leaves.
56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
There’s so many, but meeting Zlatan Ibrahimovic would be pretty dope. Also Cindy Sherman.
57:What do I think about most?
Sexy ladies and general thirsty thoughts, Magic: The Gathering, professional wrestling, what I’m going to eat next. Totally normal things
58:What’s my strangest talent?
I can make this weird belching/farting noise by puffing out my cheeks.
59:Do I have any strange phobias?
No clue. None that I can think of.
60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Both! I’m very much a performer, and I also love taking photos.
61:What was the last lie I told?
I told my friend I don’t know what my plans are tomorrow when I have sort of an idea.
62:Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
I guess video chatting because you can get visual cues to know when to speak.
63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
Yes, and yes.
64:Do I believe in magic?
Yeah, to an extent.
65:Do I believe in luck?
Also yeah, to an extent.
66:What’s the weather like right now?
It was a little cool today, but it’s gonna be warmer tomorrow.
67:What was the last book I’ve read?
This really fucked up comic series called Crossed. I last read the first issue of Crossed: Badlands. Please do not look up Crossed. There is a lot of gore, rape, and other horribly unpleasant things. It’s very morbid.
68:Do I like the smell of gasoline?
I do!
69:Do I have any nicknames?
None that I’d like to admit online lol…
70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
I almost broke a rib while wrestling my friend once
71:Do I spend money or save it?
I spend it. I’m definitely going to start saving soon.
72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue?
Nope.
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?
Yup. A couple of Mega64 posters, one of which is the new one they sent out for their Patreon.
74:Favorite animal?
I like snakes.
75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
Probably scrolling down this hellsite.
76:What do I think Satan’s last name is?
Christ ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh
77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
I can’t think of any specific ones at the moment. Probably older songs that trigger nostalgia for me.
78:How can you win my heart?
Gimme dat s u c c
In all seriousness, just be compatible with me and maintain interest in me.
Although given dat s u c c wouldn’t hurt.
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
“He did a lot of what he wanted to do in life and was as happy as he could be.”
80:What is my favorite word?
aka (prounounced awka)
I can’t think of a more serious answer that isn’t that Donnie Darko scene where the girl says “cellar door” is the most beautiful phrase in the English language.
81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr?
My blog x5
82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
I have no idea what I’m doing. Please send help.
83:Do I have any relatives in jail?
Not that I know of, but who knows with how often my dad keeps secrets of his side of the family hidden.
84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
Photosynthesis
85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
Probably a few things…
86:What is my current desktop picture?
D.C. United’s logo with their entire regular season schedule
87:Had sex?
Hahahahahahaha nope.
88:Bought condoms?
Hahahahahahaha yeah.
89:Gotten pregnant?
I would hope not. Ya know. Since I don’t have a uterus.
90:Failed a class?
Yeah
91:Kissed a boy?
No
92:Kissed a girl?
Absolutely
93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
Maybe?
94:Had job?
Yeah
95:Left the house without my wallet?
Probably
96:Bullied someone on the Internet?
Nope.
97:Had sex in public?
Please refer to question #87
98:Played on a sports team?
Not in any sort of program. I’ve only played on recreational soccer teams. Those aren’t anything serious though.
99:Smoked weed?
Yeah
100:Did drugs?
Weed is a drug, so technically yeah.
101:Smoked cigarettes?
Yeah. They’re disgusting
102:Drank alcohol?
Yup.
103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
No
104:Been overweight?
Yes indeedy
105:Been underweight?
Nope. I’ve only ever been a fatty.
106:Been to a wedding?
Yes
107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
Of course
108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
Definitely
109:Been outside my home country?
Nope :(
110:Gotten my heart broken?
Hahahahahahahahahaha yes
111:Been to a professional sports game?
Absolutely
112:Broken a bone?
Thankfully, no.
113:Cut myself?
Not on purpose
114:Been to prom?
Twice.
115:Been in airplane?
No
116: Fly by helicopter?
No
117:What concerts have I been to?
Let’s see if I can remember them all! I’ve been to a bunch of local shows since I’ve been in a band!
DC101 Chili Cookoff 2009
Linkin Park/Mutemath
Tool
Fozzy
Alice in Chains/Jane’s Addiction/Coheed and Cambria/Circa Survive
The Protomen
Powerglove
Iron Maiden/Dream Theater
DJ Cutman
Probably a bunch of other things
118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
I mean, I guess so? Nothing I would have wanted to act on though.
119:Learned another language?
I can sort-of speak German!
120:Wore make up?
I put on eyeliner one time but my mom made me take it off before we went home so my dad wouldn’t see it and be pissed lol.
121:Lost my virginity before I was 18?
Please refer to question #87
122:Had oral sex?
Yep.
123:Dyed my hair?
Nothing more than my bangs. And even then, it was such a shitty dark blue, you could hardly tell it apart from my normal hair color. My parents weren’t very fun.
124:Voted in a presidential election?
Yeah
125:Rode in an ambulance?
No
126:Had a surgery?
Nothing besides getting my wisdom teeth removed
127:Met someone famous?
Only people that are famous on the internet
128:Stalked someone on a social network?
I mean, who hasn’t???
129:Peed outside?
Yeah
130:Been fishing?
Yeah
131:Helped with charity?
Yup
132:Been rejected by a crush?
Eventually
133:Broken a mirror?
Loooooooool yeah
134:What do I want for birthday?
To be able to go to Gamedays
135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
No more than two. I like the name Julia for a girl, and I have no idea what I would name a boy haha. I do like Max and Sebastian, but those are such stereotypical overly proper white parent names. Hopefully, I’ll have plenty of time to figure that out!
136:Was I named after anyone?
Nope.
137:Do I like my handwriting?
Eh. It’s unique, I guess?
138:What was my favorite toy as a child?
Video games
139:Favorite TV Show?
I don’t really keep up with TV all that much anymore, but It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia is one of the funniest god-damned shows on the planet. I love it so much.
140:Where do I want to live when older?
Somewhere in which I’m happy and financially secure.
141:Play any musical instrument?
I play the drums! I’ve been playing for about 11 years.
142:One of my scars, how did I get it?
My right ring finger is a little swollen and purple from what I believe was when I had a door get closed on it when I was a child.
143:Favorite pizza topping?
White sauce, chicken, and bacon. There’s also nothing wrong with a classic pepperoni.
144:Am I afraid of the dark?
Sometimes, the dark is very terrifying all alone
145:Am I afraid of heights?
Not really
146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
Lol yep.
147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
That’s basically my life
148:What I’m really bad at.
Picking up signals from girls that might be interested in me. I’m always just assuming that people are just friendly, and I have low self-esteem when it comes to my date-ability
149:What my greatest achievements are.
Finishing college.
150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me.
Why you gotta make me think about that?
151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery.
Pay off my student loans
152:What do I like about myself?
The fact that I’m a triplet, my butt, my drumming ability, my art
153:My closest Tumblr friend.
@it-was-real-horrorshow
154:Something I fantasies about.
Mostly inappropriate things
Holy fuck, that was a lot to answer! Thank you for the interest, I guess!
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