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#there. i am currently 1 foot out the door. im at the bus stop waiting for someone to give me the money for the science bus
opens-up-4-nobody
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2 years
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#do i feel guilty abt spending like 4+hrs working on my CV during normal work hours today? yes
#but also i spent 5 months getting paid part time when i was working 10+hr days 6 days a week
#so i feel like it balances out
#also i need to update my cv as things happen bc i instantly forget so many things i do
#like i forgot i was named on at least 1 publication. like completely forgot until i searched my name on google scholar
#also i have like 25 posters/presentations to my name. and only like maybe 5 of those are ones that r just in name
#ive given a lot of talks/poster presentations lol
#my cv is so long. i prob should have shortened it more before i sent it to the dude im talking with
#but like. idk im gonna meet him next week so like if i commit a little faux pas by sending a too long cv im sure its fine. hes already
#interested enough to chat. and therefore i have to bust my ass preparing to meet with him
#bc hes from the most prestigious uni ive contacted. so like really theres no way ill get in. but i will shamelessly try
#god. ive gotta really study hard. like i mean i dont have to but ive been so burnt out for so long that ive been slipping when it comes to
#hardcore academic stuff. like my memory of genetics and chem stuff is slipping. and generally i find it difficult to wrangle my thoughts in
#a way that makes sense. so i really wanna be prepared to talk to him
#lol my boss is gonna get back from Europe like hey ur gonna follow me to las vegas? and im gonna be like haha fuck that i dont wanna live
#there. i am currently 1 foot out the door. im at the bus stop waiting for someone to give me the money for the science bus
#give me funding to study cool stuff!!!!
#ugh and i still need to look for more ppl to ask. like i want at least 2 or 3 US options on top of my 3 potential UK options
#and like im really considering contacting some ppl in Germany bc like all the papers i look at are german. the germans are doing cool
#cyanobacteria bullshit. and im jealous and i dont speak german but hey ive got a year to learn
#so idk maybe ill see if my boss talked to anyone cool while she was at her conferences. pls boss tell me abt the other cool cyanobacteria
#ppl 🙏 but idk. i feel like ppl dont quite get what im interested in. bc its astrobiology but really its more evolution and understanding
#the fundamentals of life. so like no i dont wanna go to mars. i wanna understand what freaky shit life was doing millons if years ago
#ugh. im being a slacker. ive gotta shift into try hard mode.
#but also i wanna draw and finish my fanfics 😭 we'll see what happens
#unrelated
#also thank u to the ppl who sent kind words on my post yesterday! im still shadowbanned so i cant reply to u 😭
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