#there's a ramble in me as always about putting/giving credit to gifs when posting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carolinanadeau · 20 days

Text

In Praise of Sally Ann Howes

As I've made it one of the purposes of my blog to share photos and songs and general positivity about the wonderful English actress Sally Ann Howes, I thought I'd make a post to talk in much more detail about all the great things about her and why I adore her so much!

This classy English beauty possessed a highly expressive face and eyes, an astonishingly powerful soprano, a great sense of humor, and the world's most charming laugh. One thing I cannot stop saying about Sally Ann is that she did not and does not get nearly enough credit and recognition for her immense talent and prolific career, and it's precisely for that reason that I'm here to do my part in giving it to her!

This overlong rambling post is a combination of biographical information and my personal fawning over her performances... whatever I felt I most wanted to put out there in the world and what I'd like people less familiar with her to know.

Click on Keep Reading and I'll take you on a journey!

As she preferred to work on the stage and didn't really pursue a film career, the catalog of Sally Ann's work that can still be viewed today is unfortunately small - though you can find almost all of her early films on the internet if you look hard! In her early film days, mostly made before she was able to pursue her true passion of musical theatre, her extraordinary singing talents weren't utilized by the producers at all.

However, we were fortunately blessed with exactly one musical film role from her, and it's an iconic one: the aptly-named role of Truly Scrumptious in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968), the golden-haired, golden-hearted candy heiress who falls in love with and eventually marries Dick van Dyke's character Caractacus Potts after joining him and his children on a madcap adventure. She's a sweet, intelligent ingenue with hidden depths and one of my favorite sorts of character arcs - the uptight, lonely woman who becomes more and more warm and open as she discovers newfound freedom and joy in life and falls in love.

There is something about Sally Ann that just glows in every scene of Chitty, and it's not only that bright blonde hair! The way she widens her eyes sometimes, the way she raises her eyebrows, her gentle and soft presence in the happiest scenes, and the particular airy lilt she has to her speaking voice are all so distinctive and appealing, and I can't take my eyes off her. And her smile! When I say she glows it's barely even a metaphor, the woman just emits light.

(Funnily enough, I started to realize that many of the laudatory quotes I've found about her also refer to her in this way, like this quote from a 1965 TV Guide article, from playwright Sidney Kingsley: "She's luminous as an actress. I mean that literally. In Brigadoon she really lit up the stage.")

For me, I'm weak for any actress who can do the defrosted-ice-queen trope so incredibly well. Truly starts out as closed-off and prim, and nearly reverts to that state when she and Caractacus have a Big Misunderstanding near the end, but in the scenes where she's happy and carefree, the warmth just radiates off of her.

She also has the most adorable chemistry with Dick van Dyke in an annoyances-to-friends-to-lovers relationship that absolutely shaped my young brain. Whenever Sally Ann and Dick glance at each other, whether with irritation and frustration early in the film or with warmth and affection later on, their chemistry is obvious and natural, and there's so much expressed in each one of those glances. One has no difficulty believing that these characters are going to be very happily married.

(Here's a cute on-set interview where she talks about, among other things, how easily she and van Dyke clicked.)

While I acknowledge that the character of Caractacus Potts was absolutely originally planned to be an actual Englishman, Dick van Dyke played him with an American accent, and to me they will always be an adorable English-American couple. It's a whole part of the charm of this pairing to me!

Sally Ann also had a great relationship with child actors Adrian Hall and Heather Ripley who played Jeremy and Jemima Potts, and did her best to help make them more comfortable and happy during the many very long days on set. Having been a child film star herself, she knew a great deal about how difficult and alienating it could be. The genuine affection the three of them shared is obvious in their scenes together, especially in the extremely adorable "Truly Scrumptious" number, and it really makes the developing mother-child relationship between the characters so believable.

The beach scene, where so much of the relationship between Truly and Caractacus and the Potts children is developed, is incredibly cute and heartwarming, and a lot of that rides on Sally Ann's performance and how her previously prim-and-proper character shows herself to be warm and loving, once she (literally) lets her hair down. We've already seen how happy the Potts family is together; now we see how Truly fits in perfectly and makes them all even happier.

Look at her! Literally glowing!

(One thing I should mention: I think both the plot and the love story of CCBB are greatly improved if one just treats the "dream sequence" as real events, which was possibly the original intention anyway, so just note that is always the perspective I'm coming from here. It's the only way to make some things make sense and for the characters and their relationships to fully develop.)

"Lovely, Lonely Man" is Truly's big solo moment, and was probably the least comprehensible part of the movie to me as a kid (lol), but is now indisputably one of the very best parts to me as an adult. It's an exquisitely beautiful love song, especially the bridge, and I somehow love it more and more every time I rewatch it. Sally Ann's dreamy, graceful movements and the way the whole scene is shot make her look like a princess, and the slow build of the song is masterfully done. She has this distinctive crisp way of articulating her words while singing, especially the closing consonants like N and M, that I just love to listen to. The string section and the building countermelodies are so beautiful it makes me want to weep. Everyone involved in creating this scene and song deserved an award, I'm being so serious. While it's not the highest of soprano songs and doesn't fully show off Sally Ann's astonishing range, she shows an incredible amount of vocal control here through the many diminuendos and crescendos, and she's mesmerizing to watch and listen to. One of her "glowiest" scenes, for sure!

While I've seen people call this song irrelevant to the plot, I strongly disagree - the romance is part of the plot, of course, and while I didn't fully understand the meaning as a kid, this song establishes how much Truly's outlook on life and hopes for the future have already changed since meeting Caractacus, and how much happier she is with the poor Potts family than she's ever been in her life of luxury. Plus, now we know for certain that she's head over heels for Caractacus, but he doesn't know... increasing the dramatic irony of the pining and yearning to follow!

youtube

In the reprise of "Hushabye Mountain", which was sung in a much earlier scene by Dick van Dyke alone, Caractacus loses the will to continue the song because he's overwhelmed with emotion thinking of his children being held captive. Truly comes in to aid him with the final verse - another pivotal moment in the developing romance - and Sally Ann's singing here is nothing short of breathtaking.

And of course, I can't neglect to mention the "Doll on a Music Box" number, where Sally Ann, who was not a trained dancer and in fact considered herself to be "appalling" at it, performs an incredibly precise, incredibly impressive clockwork song-and-dance number while on a spinning turntable! She practiced it so well that she managed to successfully complete the shot in a single take, prompting the stage full of extras to burst into applause.

This is another important character moment for Truly, though it's disguised in a diegetic performance: though it's another thing that went over my head as a child who only got to see the movie once, the lyrics about being trapped up on a music box and longing to be freed by love pretty clearly symbolize how trapped the real Truly's high-society life makes her feel, and how she yearns to break free from class restrictions and live happily-ever-after with Caractacus, as it's only with him and his family that she really feels free.

Then there's that incredibly warm romantic look that Truly and Caractacus share at the end of the song when she silently acknowledges the love confession he's just made while singing in counterpoint with her, though they're still in a dangerous situation and can't give themselves away by appearing too human and breaking their disguises... sadly this vital moment is cut off on all the Youtube videos of the scene I can find, because none of the people who clipped it understand that that's the whole point of it all, apparently. But here's a gif!

The character of Truly doesn't exist at all in the original (quite different) book by James Bond author Ian Fleming - surprising, I know, given her name! - and, honestly, the fact that Truly and the romantic subplot of this movie exist are why it had such a strong impact on me as a child, and very much why I fell in love with it again as an adult. Even though the score is wonderful anyway and the story is charming and magical, I can confidently say that I would not have become as completely enchanted or had such a strong desire to revisit it again and again if there'd been no Truly and no love story. The fact that Sally Ann's performance makes Truly so loveable is, obviously, a pretty crucial factor there.

Sally Ann's delivery of "Well, Mr. Potts... now you'll have to marry me!" after Caractacus kisses Truly... that slide from prim mock-outrage to the playful, warm, you-can-hear-the-smile-in her-voice conclusion is flawless. Not even exaggerating when I say that this was the moment that made me into a hopeless romantic as a 9-year-old child. Sure, this wasn't the first movie I'd seen where two people fall in love and live happily ever after, but I distinctly remember that this was the first romance story that had me in a giggling, kicking-my-feet, "I ship it so hard" state of mind. And after revisiting it as an adult for the first time last year, I have confirmed that yes, child me already had great taste in fictional romances!

Oh, I could say so much about the difference in her body language between the two scenes where Caractacus carries Truly out of her car that's become stuck in a pond. The first time, Truly is affronted and extremely embarrassed by the situation, holding herself so stiffly and awkwardly to avoid an accidental embrace that she causes him to nearly lose his balance and drop her. The second time, when they're in love and they know it, she snuggles right up into his arms without hesitation and it's the cutest thing ever. Sally Ann was 5'6" but looks so tiny in that scene!

(And that kiss! Maybe I'm getting off-topic here in terms of strictly focusing on Sally Ann's contributions, because Dick van Dyke deserves tons of credit for making this kiss so good... but wow, the kiss. Several times I have called it "the Most Kiss they could have gotten away with in a children's movie." Again, giggling, kicking my feet etc.)

While Truly's costumes and hairstyling are rarely historically accurate (the film is set around 1910), the stylized nature of her fashion is iconic and memorable in itself. Sally Ann also completely pulls off playing a fresh-faced ingenue who is 12+ years younger than her actual age - and I do wonder if the aging-down of Sally Ann is at least part of the reason why Truly wears her hair loose throughout most of the movie! Either way, it works perfectly and I was shocked when I first learned how much older she was than her character. (If you watch her in The Admirable Crichton, where she is also in Edwardian costume and was closer to Truly's actual age, she really doesn't look all that much different. If anything, I think she looks even more glowingly beautiful in Chitty!)

Also, as for Truly wearing her hair down... it may just have been an intentionally anachronistic stylistic choice, but in-story, I think it actually contributes to her character by showing a willingness to flout convention and pursue whatever will make her happy instead of what's expected of her, which happens to be a key theme of her character arc.

Another thing that led me to adore Sally Ann as a person as I learned more about her over the last year: in the 1960s, she appeared as a panelist in quite a few episodes of the game show To Tell the Truth (as well as a few episodes of Password), and these can be found on Youtube. I really adore how her personality shines through - she's unfailingly bubbly, witty, self-deprecating, and a bit quirky. Just listening to her speak is a delight and she has one of the best laughs I've ever heard. Here is one of my favorite little moments that I clipped.

By all accounts, she was a delightful person to know and work with, witty and clever, very professional, and very serious about her craft. She also always maintained a great affection for and pride in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and her role as Truly, which is always a wonderful thing to know about an actor in a beloved role.

Another bonus: here is a super charming interview with her after a backstage disaster at What Makes Sammy Run? on Broadway.

She was also, along with Twiggy and Diahann Carroll (as Julia Baker), one of the first three celebrities to have her likeness made into a Barbie doll.

Two of her earlier films I recommend are the comedies Fools Rush In (1949) and The Admirable Crichton (1957), if you can find them (hint-hint, you can.) You may also be able to find the 1966 TV movie of her reprising her Tony-nominated role of Fiona in Brigadoon with Robert Goulet, and although I feel like the oddly close-up way the film was shot kinda does a disservice to the actors at times, it's still amazing to be able to see and hear her in a role she performed on Broadway.

Richard Rodgers once called Sally Ann "the greatest singer who ever sang on the American musical stage." Now, I don't quote this to claim this superlative as some kind of objective fact. If you know anything about me, I am very, very strongly opposed to pitting women against each other and all the Golden Age sopranos are absolute queens who deserve crowns, no matter how much mainstream success or present-day name-recognition they have/had. I just think it's phenomenal that she received such high praise from a man who worked with many of the best musical theatre singers who ever lived... and to think, many people today have never even heard her voice. Without her performance as Truly Scrumptious, it's possible almost nobody would in the future! I am so glad that Sally Ann's lasting legacy was ensured by such a beloved film role.

Sadly for us, many of the theatrical roles which she originated (and thus, for which cast albums featuring her exist) were in shows that either flopped quickly or at least did not enter the theatrical canon, so she never achieved the level of mainstream recognition she clearly deserves. But Sally Ann also played such legendary and challenging roles as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, Fiona MacLaren in Brigadoon (for which she received a Tony nomination), Maria Rainer von Trapp in The Sound of Music, Anna Leonowens in The King and I, and, much later, Desiree Armfeldt in A Little Night Music. She received great acclaim for all of these performances and, judging by what we know of her process on My Fair Lady, was excellent at making roles distinctly her own and never merely imitating another performer.

Even in her iconic original role of Truly Scrumptious, you don't get to hear the true full power of Sally Ann's extraordinary soprano. For that, I highly recommend listening to "Another Time, Another Place" from Kwamina (1961), and "Something to Live For" from What Makes Sammy Run? (1964). I'm always sad that we don't have any recordings of her in her "fiery" star turn as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, but you can at least hear her do a Cockney accent, be silly, and sing "With a Little Bit of Luck" with Bing Crosby here!

If it weren't for the enduring success of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, few people might have even heard of Sally Ann Howes today, and that would be a terrible loss. I cannot overstate that I am so grateful that we all know who she is because she played this role and we get to see her give this radiant performance of a character that's all her own. Maybe this sounds strange, but I think the fact that this was Sally Ann's only musical film role (and the ONLY role most people will ever see her in) makes it even more precious, and makes everything she brings to the character that much more distinctive and unique and special.

Both for all of the talent and charm she brings to the role itself, and everything else that I and many other fans have been able to learn of so much of her otherwise-obscure work because of it, the world is incredibly lucky to have the lovely Sally Ann Howes immortalized as our Truly Scrumptious, and I wouldn't have it any other way 💖

#*mic drop*#sally ann howes #chitty chitty bang bang #and that's why you should vote for... wait there's no poll involved? I may have gotten carried away ;)#ok so I doubt anyone will even pay attention to this post but if you are going to tag or comment on this BE KIND AND POSITIVE ABOUT HER #like this is obviously a labor of love on my part here... don't be weird or backhanded. I don't need to hear how you disagree or whatever #and no pitting women against each other on my posts I am so serious #this is a fan post! this is a stan post! this is a celebration! do not derail!#I feel like I need to sprinkle holy water on this post before I release it out into the world #oh Sally Ann we're really in it now #also parts of this are poorly written I know. it's literally just an infodump about my Special Interest English Lady what do you expect lol #the switches between formal tone and informal fangirling are intentional btw #this is what I'm using my degree for apparently #I know I mixed in a lot of character/story analysis here and maybe that's slightly off-topic from lauding her performance but hey #it's not like I'm getting graded on this. and I mean you can see these things in her character BECAUSE of her performance #take my hand. love her with me. life could be a dream #you know the lyric in Hamilton - 'I wrote my way out'? that's what this was for me. I wrote my way out of a mental health crisis with this #when I came up with this idea I was going to save it for her birthday but that is sooo far away. so I'll post now and reblog it then!#I'm shocked tumblr can even handle whatever I'm trying to do here #I wouldn't have put SO many photos except that I needed to use multiples so I could make them smaller!!#my original post #long post

3 notes · View notes

acacia-may · 1 year

Text

It's time to talk about the greatest love confession in all of literature (courtesy of David Copperfield) 💘

(A/N: Look at them folks! True love right there!💕)

Hello friends, I am working on an ask in which this suddenly became relevant (I promise it's not just completely random😅) so I feel that the time has come to discuss the greatest, most romantic, and most swoon-worthy love confession in all of literary history! (In my personal opinion anyway).

It is from a very old and criminally underrated book titled The Personal History, Adventures, Experience and Observation of David Copperfield the Younger of Blunderstone Rookery most commonly referred to as just David Copperfield which was published in 1850 and written by classic novelist Charles Dickens (who is probably most famous for writing A Christmas Carol). It is not a romance novel (but it does have a romance subplot), so it is generally not discussed when talking about the greatest love confessions in literature. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to make a big long meta post about it. Ramblings below the cut!

(Warnings: Spoilers ahead for David Copperfield which was published in 1850. It also has a few great filmed adaptations including an excellent BBC one from 1999 with Maggie Smith, and a new one (2019) with Dev Patel that gets so many extra kudos for cutting out most of the infuriating love triangle and making David Copperfield less oblivious. Power move! But that did change this confession sequence in the movie so I suppose that's a downside but I digress...Some spoilers for the 2019 movie below as well)

David Copperfield is not a romance novel by any means, but there is a romance subplot and a positively swoon-worthy love confession at the end of this book in which the main character, David Copperfield, finally expresses his love to Agnes Wickfield who has been his best friend and has stood by his side since childhood and who we (as the reader) know has always been obviously, desperately in love with him. Unfortunately, David Copperfield is a dumbbell (I say with the utmost affection) and one of the most oblivious fictional men of all time (My sisters and I like to call him the "OG Oblivious Fictional Man," and he is the standard to which we compare all other oblivious fictional men. To this day we have only found nine (9) fictional men we consider more oblivious than him but that is another story).

David doesn't know how he feels about Agnes for literally around 700 pages which span decades of his life, and then when finally confronted with the possibility that he could have romantic feelings for her, he freaks out and runs away to go on a soul-searching journey in the mountains. He eventually comes to terms to with the fact that he loves her and then proceeds to freak out that she could never return his affections...

Anyway...bless David--he goes to visit her several times trying to pluck up the nerve to confess. Agnes meanwhile is trying to guard her heart from yet from another rejection. David, for his credit, picks up on her hesitation (progress!) and believes she has "a secret" though he doesn't quite put all the pieces together. He has some really incredible lines here one of my favorites of which is:

"My dearest girl, dearer to me than anything in life, if you are unhappy, let me share your unhappiness. If you are in need of help or counsel, let me try to give it to you. If you have indeed a burden on your heart, let me try to lighten in."

But Agnes has literally been "sister-zoned" (as in "you're like a sister to me" which is beyond friend-zoned) for 700 pages and even completely rejected for another woman, the nice but completely airheaded Dora who has since died (A/N: in the 2019 movie, Dora lives but David dumps her because they are incompatible and he actually loves Agnes which is what he should have done in the book). Anyway, after all of that, Agnes can't even allow herself to hope that her romantic feelings for David are finally being returned. She says, "If I have any secret, it is--no new one; and is--not what you suppose. I cannot reveal it or divide it. It has long been mine and must remain mine."

David starts to connect the dots (FINALLY) and confesses his love to her even though he swears up and down that he "thought that nothing could have wrestled this confession from [him]." He has quite the speech (which I won't type out completely here), but it ends:

"I went away, dear Agnes, loving you. I stayed away, loving you. I returned home, loving you!"

I am sorry to have to tell you all that even after all of that, hopelessly oblivious David is still beyond nervous and concerned that Agnes does not return his affections. But this, my friends, is where we get to the pinnacle, the end-all-be-all moment of the most swoony-worthy confession in all of literary history. Agnes who has quietly, unquestioningly, and unrequitedly loved David from their childhood sees all of his fears and insecurities in having confessed to her and tells him there is "one thing [she] must say." David is so nervous that he is about to get rejected and timidly asks her what it is not even daring to hope that she is about to return his affections but...

"She laid her gentle hands upon [his] shoulders, and looked calmly in [his] eyes.

'Do you know, yet what it is?'

'I am afraid to speculate on what it is. Tell me, my dear.'

'I have loved you all my life!'"

And that is how it is done, friends! Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

(A/N: I found all these great gifs from the 2019 movie, and I got so excited about including them😅)

#the personal history of david copperfield #david copperfield #agnes wickfield #david copperfield: og oblivious fictional man #the most swoony worthy love confession in literature #i don't usual like romance but this is probably the most inspirational piece of romance writing to me #david copperfield meta analysis #acacia's ramblings

13 notes · View notes

katsukichu · 1 year

Text

ʚїɞ RULES ʚїɞ - Byf/Dni

If you can not separate fiction from reality dni.

ʚїɞ I will instantly block you if you are a/an:

Empty blog

Blank blog

Untitled blog

Ageless blog

Minor that interacts with NSFW - I would prefer no minors but sfw interaction is okay

I will be willing to unblock you only if you rb some content (doesn't have to be mine) so you're not a blank blog or put an appropriate age indicator somewhere

[Reasons why you need an age indicator]

[Simple Blog set up so you don't get blocked]

ʚїɞ Do not interact or follow if you :

Fit the basic DNI criteria

If you are racist,homophobic,transphobic, sexist,send hate on anon etc.

Are an ed/fat phobic user - I'm fat & make plus sized/chubby reader content.

Can’t separate fiction from reality. 2D CHARACTERS ARE LITERALLY LINES ON A PAGE OR SCREEN - NOT REAL

ʚїɞ All characters in my nsfw work/smut are aged up and have given consent no exceptions even it is not explicitly stated in the piece

ʚїɞ I love interaction of any kind. Please feel free to send thirsts/rambles/your art/tell me about your ocs or selfships,pics of your pets,song/anime/fic recs literally anything. If you send me art please make sure the artist allows reposts with credit etc or I will not post it

ʚїɞ I only own/take credit for the writing & art I post.I will try my best to always give credit to respective creators.I have a few selfship commissions I've got from various artists.The lovely @annieswifey made most of my banners (I may have slightly edited some) BUT all credit to @annieswifey. @touyyes also helped with my themes before (please go check out their blogs <3)

ʚїɞ Credit to various ASMR artists for use of nicknames such as teddy bear (Personally I think it’s cute). I'm vaguely aware about certain incidents in the voice acting community but :

I do not support or condone any of these creators. I am just crediting them. The only “original nickname” I have is Cubby (I thought of it for my hc's & I use it as a nickname for my oc sometimes)

ʚїɞ Do not:

Plagiarize

Translate

Copy

Repost

Recommend (outside of Tumblr)

Trace

Use my work for ASMR

I have AO3(Katsukichu),Wattpad(Katsuki-chu) & twt (Katsukichu_).If you see my work anywhere else please send me a dm so I can handle it.Please do not claim that someone posted my work somewhere (when they didn't) or pretend to be me on anon-I've had an incident where that happened & it made me very uncomfortable

ʚїɞYandere & dark content makes me uncomfy.I have the tags blocked/filtered.I don’t usually rb it but If I do please note I do not condone it. I will tag it with the appropriate tw/cw. I have no problem with dark content creators as long as their content is tagged appropriately

ʚїɞ I appreciate all reblogs/comments/likes [reblogs> likes]

ʚїɞ Banner by @annieswifey gif from @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

#— navigation #byf/dni #blog rules #please read #please interact #after reading

8 notes · View notes

away-ward · 9 months

Note

hi, i’ve always been too shy to comment or send asks before but i’m making this my first bc i wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your work! i read your hell yeah fanfic a couple of months ago & when i stumbled upon it again recently & found a whole master list worth of fanfics added, i was super ecstatic & read all of them in one go hahaha

my personal favourites are reality & arrival <3 reality bc their conversation in the carfax room was so in line w their characters, it just re-emphasised how much i wish we got more of willemmy outside of blackchurch. having a scene like that in nightfall would’ve really grounded them as a couple in the present. all the snippets from the first three books plus the high school chapters of willemmy were such good buildup only to have the willalexaydin bs instead 🤧 anyways, i have a soft spot for arrival too. to have the damon & indie dynamic play out like that makes so much sense! damon & will already have such a strong & unique bond so for will, of all his friends, to have the first girl in the group would definitely make their relationship extra special.

on a side note, your post abt aydin being a few years older than canon made me lose my shit btw since i completely agree 😩 whenever i’m in my devil’s night brain rot, i always pictured him like 6 years older especially w how penelope douglas was trying to portray aydin & emory together. oh & your timeline for the character’s ages made me happy! it never occurred to me for will to be the oldest of the horsemen (which i’ve seen a few ppl comment on). given his may birthdate, i just assumed he was born the following year after michael, kai, & damon were. i mean, it makes sense right?? he’s the baby of the four. i could be wrong but then that would mean damon is the youngest which i refuse to imagine for some reason given all the shit he’s been up to 💀

this post is getting longer than i expected & i could probably continue rambling on but i just wanted to thank you again for your contribution 🙏🏽 this fandom has practically a drought in fan fiction unless it’s for second gen but seeing as kaibanks & willemmy (my biases) were done dirty in the series, your account has truly been such a gem to follow.

It’s nice to hear from you!! I’ve definitely been on the fence about whether to reach out to someone or not but I’m so happy that you decided to leave this message. It really made my day.

I feel that ‘reality’ is the closest I’ve ever come to getting Em and Will right. I also a snuck in a few references that are dear to me, so it’s special in my eyes, despite its needed edits. It was originally a request, so I can’t take all the credit for it, but I’m just so I’m happy that it’s one of your favs.

And ‘arrival’ has been a personal HC of mine for a long time. It took me a while to get out onto a page, so it’s great to hear that it’s struck home with others too.

A lot of my fics are borne out of that ‘we didn’t get to see this in the book but we should have’ and ‘what would have happened if…?’ feeling. Having had the chance to speak to other fans, I know I’m not alone in that, so it’s nice that so many people are finding my fics...fulfilling? I know other writers could do better, but until then, I’m happy to be around to fill a void.

Ahhh! The aydin age thing! Thank you! Anytime Aydin’s age is brought up in NF I’m like, ‘no you’re lying. You’re, like, 32/33.” But nope. He’s 26???? smh. Missed opportunity. It could have done so much for his character to just age him up a bit.

Regarding the timeline…as much as I would have loved for Will to the oldest…I think he is the baby. For clarification, I think Michael, Kai, and Damon were born in 1994 and Will in 1995. I didn’t want to give actual years in the post because I think the vibe that PD was going for was a timeless/infinite ‘this could be taking place at any point in time’. except for the points where they put in things that would date the books, the years and timing were purposefully left vague. I didn’t want to take that away by giving concrete dates. But I stayed up til an ungodly hour on a work night, going over this stupid timeline with a friend who has never read the series because trying to untangle it in my head was driving me absolutely nuts. So I had to record it somewhere.

In the chart, they all start the school year the same age* and then end the school year the same age, but within that nine months, it goes Michael, Kai, Damon all before Devil’s Night on October 30th, the new year, and finally Will in May.

That being said, at one point we did get stuck on whether Will was actually the oldest and I loved what it did for his character too. If at some point, he got held back a grade, it would go to why he’s a bit insecure, feels like he’s the dumbest in the group, and doesn’t trust himself to act on his own. I kinda wish Will had some sort of learning disability like dyslexia or ADHD because I think it would contribute to his lack of interest in school and strengthen his addiction storyline. None of that is canon and I don’t HC that it is. I just kinda wish it was there…

But according to my calculations, Will is the baby of the group, and of his family. That, along with his privilege, can also explain why he is the why he is.

Also Damon being the youngest would be hilarious and I wish it were so.

No worries, I as a wordy rambler myself, I appreciate everything you had to say. Feel free to drop by any time. I talk way too much, but it’s nice to get this devil’s night brain rot, as you so accurately termed, out to others who understand.

Thank you so much for your message and have a great day!

*well, if the school year starts in August, which some places in the US do. Others start in September, in which case, Michael will already be the next age up at the start of the year.

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #the horsemen of devil's night #my writing #timeline #ages #asked and answered 14

3 notes · View notes

autumnslance · 1 year

Note

(@driftward) Let's see. Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks, for.. ✨, 💫,🎀,🎀,🎀,💌

*screeches*

Someday I am making a prompt list and there'll be no numbers or letters or symbols, just the questions so folks who aren't menaces have to put the full text in the Ask.

Anyroad. Scheduling maintenance on our local bot later. For now:

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Fics like "When Everything Changes" and "Where the Skies Are Safe" are works I'm quite fond of, but are hard to sell to fandom readers either here or on Ao3; they're from the perspective of my OCs as small children, and very few people want to read kid fic.

But a chunk of my literature studies were in YA and Kid Lit, as I originally was dual-majoring an Education degree, and I've always found getting into a child's (or pet's) mindsets and perspectives to be an interesting exercise as a writer, and finding what new info it can reveal that an adult POV won't notice or would see differently.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Any and all of them, but incoherent screeching is always fun, as are rambles about what someone liked, maybe even the why if they can articulate it (if not, that's cool, just copy-pastes of favorite lines with keysmash responses are great too).

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

x3?!

FINE.

-I am a decent mimic; I can copy a style and voice patterns pretty well, enough to make what I'm writing read or "sound" like the style I'm playing in. The attempt in many of my works to feel like quest text or the official stories on the Lodestone is intentional, and I feel good when I get comments on it cuz that's the goal.

-I can drop some evocative, pithy lines to make one giggle and/or break one's heart.

-My constant replaying and revisiting the text, and talking to/reading about others' canon-centric takes on characters and situations, means my NPC characterizations tend to be good. Which is good practice for making my own OCs distinct people that fit into the world well.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

(Again, with the caveat I've been in a bit of a slump break since BSotP, here's a bit of more the Thancred in the First fic I don't...think? I've shared? If I have, what of it! Below the cut cuz someone asked multiple questions so this got long.)

“So can you build it?” Thancred asked.

The blacksmith looked over his crude drawings and the schematics pulled from the Tower’s archives, as well as the detailed descriptions Thancred had painstakingly written with Gridick’s aid. “I think so; enough to get a prototype working, and then we can go from there.”

Thancred nodded. “Do let me know,” he said, offering his coins for the initial deposit.

It had been several months since that first disastrous patrol. Thancred had been on a few other patrols since, as well as forays into the forest on his own. The more common wildlife wasn’t much of a problem, but the sin eaters, when stumbled across, left him feeling as if his simple blades were no longer adequate.

So he had delved into the Tower’s archives, seeking out weapon schematics. The Exarch couldn’t say which time period the Tower had come from when summoned to the First, but Thancred figured it had to be later than his own, since the Tower was still in Mor Dhona from his perspective.

Days of searching had found not only equivalent Allagan plans, but also a few Garlean and even proper Bozjan examples for the sort of gunblade he wanted. The weapon would still allow him his speed and dexterity, but also was far more defensive, for himself and others.

The only trouble was going to be the cartridges, as Thancred could not imbue them himself. That was a bridge to cross later; for now, he would see if the Mean’s artisans could even create a workable gunblade.

He made his way across the Crystarium toward the markets before returning to his apartment. He wanted to stop by the city’s single barber.

Thancred still wasn’t the best at shaving daily; his schedule was still too easily thrown off, he was often in the field, and frankly it wasn’t much of a concern. His hair was getting far too long and ragged, though, enough that something had to be done.

In another moon, he would count a year on the First, though the mirror still showed only a day had passed on the Source, which was the smallest of comforts. He helped the Exarch search the Tower’s archives as the man tried various spells and counter-effects to send Thancred’s soul back to his body, but to no avail.

#final fantasy xiv #Lyn Prompts #Lyn Writing #Lyn Meta #WIP #Thancred Waters #Shadowbringers

3 notes · View notes

beskarhearts · 3 years

Text

The Marshal (Din Djarin x reader)

gif credit @stwrsdaily

Connection series Pt. 12

Pairing: Din Djarin x f!reader (no use of Y/N)

Warnings: cursing, jealous Din and reader, a little ~sexual~ tension/mentions of sex (no smut), canon typical violence, chapter 2 spoilers

Word count: over 15.7 K words (ooof this is a long one)

Summary: Din and you land on Tatooine to find a Mandalorian, instead finding a marshal with a very specific request.

Notes: Did I finish editing this today and I decide I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to post it? Absolutely. Anyways, I really enjoy this chapter and I hope you all do too. As always, tell me what you think and enjoy!!

Previous Part ____ Next Part

_________________________________________

“Are we just headed straight to Mos Pelgo?” you asked Din as he sat in the drivers seat of the Crest, flying through canyons. You had reached Tatooine and though you had never been there before, it felt very familiar. It reminded you of Jakku in many ways: monotone and mostly desert, with the only distinguishing features being sand dunes or canyons. While this kind of terrain wasn’t your absolute favorite or the most beautiful, it put you at ease. It was something you were familiar with and could hold onto when in unfamiliar territory. And while you had heard rumors of Tatooine being a rough place to live, with many spending their lives fighting to just get water and avoid the scoundrels who were spread throughout the planet, even that aspect of it felt familiar. You were used to rough types and having to work hard to get through the day.

“No. We have to stop at Mos Eisley first.” Din said, reaching over to press a button on the dash as he began to lower the ship closer to the ground.

You furrowed your brow, leaning forward in the passengers seat to look out the window where you saw small spots in the sand pop up, probably Banthas. “How come?”

“I looked at a map, can’t find that town anywhere. I know a mechanic who might be able to help out.”

You let your jaw drop slightly, looking over at him incredulously but also playfully, letting one of your eyebrows quirk up. “Are you cheating on me with another mechanic? I thought I was your favorite mechanic.”

Din shook his head at your dramatics, not letting a chuckle out this time as he continued to focus most of his attention on flying over the hills and through the canyons. “You are. She is a friend and I trust her to help.”

You couldn’t help the way your stomach lurched at his explanation. Din didn’t really talk about any friends, only saying he had a few there and there. You had bothered him for more information on these ‘friends’ of his, but he always gave you a classic Din answer: nondescript and vague in every way. You definitely would of remembered if he had mentioned a friend on Mos Eisley. A mechanic friend who was a female. A female he trusted in a galaxy where there were very few people you were able to trust.

You instantly felt ridiculous but couldn’t help the way your eyes furrowed and the gears in your mind went off, thinking of every possible situation in which this woman was anything but ‘just a friend’. Din hadn’t known you for that long in the grand scheme of things. That means there were people before you. Perhaps female companions who had kept him company. You supposed it wasn’t impossible. He was a man after all. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that it was very much a possibility that he had some ‘friends’ spread throughout the galaxy.

“A friend.” you tried not to sound so pinched up, like you were talking about something that absolutely disgusted you. But you knew he heard it when he slowly turned to face you for a second, his helmet tilting just the tiniest bit.

A chuckle passed through his modulator as he saw your face, shaking his head in response as he turned back to pay attention to where he was flying. “Are you jealous?”

You stubbornly put your arms over your chest, raising your eyebrows as if what he said what the most lubricious thing in the world and not absolutely true. You shouldn’t even be jealous. You didn’t have a claim on him. For all you knew, you were just two very close friends. Who happened to kiss and spend nights sleeping in the same beds. Who happened to whisper sweet nothings to each other and run your hands through each others hair at night. You know, just that casual friendly stuff everybody does...

“Uh, no. That would be stupid.” You let out a laugh after, trying to show just how not jealous you were. But it was dry and sounded forced and if anything, it expressed just exactly how jealous you were.

“Really?” you heard the tone of his voice, knew he read right through you, even though he wasn’t looking at you.

You rolled your eyes and turned away from him, hoping your face wasn’t as flushed as it felt. “No way. Can’t wait to meet this friend of yours. Maybe she is a hot babe.” You looked over at him quickly, to see if he would nod in confirmation or say something to give you a hint.

Instead, Din just broke out into complete laughter, a sound like sounded so sweet like honey to your ears usually but now it just made you scowl. “I think you will like her.”

The ship suddenly lurched, starting to land into a hanger of what was obviously a Spaceport. It wasn’t the nicest, but far nicer than the one you had worked at in Jakku. Definitely larger and it looked well taken care of. You couldn’t help the way you narrowed your eyes, trying to find this mysterious female friend but you only saw port droids scurry away as the Crest landed. No sign of any hot babes. Once parked, Din looked over at you. “She is going to insist on working on the ship.”

“You are letting someone else work on the ship?” you said with shock. Not only was there a possibility of a hot babe, but a hot babe who was going to touch the ship you worked on? You knew the pang in your chest wasn’t necessarily because of her touching the ship, but the idea of her touching the other hunk of metal that sat before you.

“I though you hated this ship?”

You pouted slightly, tightening the arms across your body. “I do but it will miss me. I may not be your favorite mechanic, but the Crest loves me.”

Din chuckled, starting to head down the ladder and leave your dramatic antics behind, into the hull where the child was sat in the hammock. You followed him down to find Din grabbing the child and putting him in the bag on his waist. “You ready to see an old friend, kid?”

The kid just looked up, not being the one to respond as you let out a gasp. “The kid knows this mysterious friend? I feel very out of the loop.”

“And not at all jealous.” Din responded and you froze in your tracks as Din began to open the hull of the ship, walking down the ramp without you and leaving you stunned in your spot.

“When the hell did I allow you to get so cocky?” you muttered, shaking your head in wonder.

“Hey, hey, hey! Sorry, gang. Come on! You know he doesn’t like droids!“ you heard the yelling from inside the ship, accompanied by the clatter and beeps of droids. You felt intrigued right away. It was definitely a female, but it didn’t sound like what you had expected (maybe because you were expecting some sultry voice but that didn’t matter). It was higher pitched but sounded older than you would of guessed. Please, Maker or Force or whatever, don’t let this be a hot babe.

You straightened your shoulders, trying to keep a blank face and let the red of your cheeks calm before strolling down the ramp of the Crest, arms still crossed over your chest. But you didn’t even make it halfway before you froze on the ramp, the woman coming into view. That was not what you were expecting. She was yelling at the droids, her brown curly hair frizzy from the heat of the planet. She wiped her hands on her jacket as she walked over, looking at Din but not seeming to notice you yet. She didn’t smile, just looking already exhausted by his presence and exasperated, as if ready for him to bother her entirely too much.

Shit, Din was right. You were going to like her.

“May as well let them have at it. The Crest needs a good once-over.” You couldn’t help but to let your jaw drop. You didn’t know if she detected the teasing edge of his voice but you heard it clearly, watching as he turned just slightly to look at you with a tilted helmet, as if asking ‘is this what you expected?’ You wanted to storm down the ramp and punch him in the shoulder, but instead you tried to hold back the grin from your face.

The woman continued to ramble on, her attention now focused on the droids as she huffed away at them. “Oh! So he likes droids now. Well, you heard him. Give it a once-over!” She huffed and looked at Din. “I guess a lot has changed since you were last in Mos...”

She finally looked over his shoulder as you resumed your way down the ramp, her eyes widening and the areas where her brows were supposed to be shot up. She looked over at Din and then her head whipped down over at you as you finally stopped next to Mandalorian. “Oh, Maker. It’s a woman!”

“Well, I’m glad that is clear.” You responded with a grin.

The woman looked back and forth between you and Din, the shocked expression not leaving her face even a bit. Her lips were moving, as if she was trying to find something to say to convey the shock she felt. She finally set her sights on Din, raising a brow. “What happened? What did you do?”

You chuckled at the accusatory tone as Din just looked over at you. “This is Peli Motto, my friend.” He placed extra emphasis on the friend and you could feel the grin that was on his face. “Peli, this is my...” Din paused, his helmet still aimed at you.

You just looked back at him, waiting for his response. You suppose he could say friend or maybe coworker of some sort, though that seemed like a mockery to the relationship you now had. But what else would he say? Girlfriend? That sounded silly. Companion? Now that was just ridiculous sounding. You guys hadn’t spoke about it but you couldn’t even imagine Din saying any of those words, nonetheless to another person.

The silence continued on for an inordinate amount of time, the expression on your face not even breaking Din out of his newfound trance. “I’m a friend.” you slowly said, filling in the rest of the sentence. Din just nodded before turning back to Peli, whose look of shock was now replaced with obvious confusion.

“Well that was weird.” She said, stating the obvious and you may of laughed at it if it weren’t for how uncomfortable the situation was for you.. “Where is the kid?”

Din grabbed the satchel on his side, holding it up so Motto could look straight at the kid. The child seemed to recognize her, staring straight up at woman. A grin broke out on her face instantly and she threw her hands up in joy. “Oh! Thank the Force! This little thing has had me worried sick. Come here, you little womp rat.”

You chuckled as she called him by the same nickname you often used, her hands reaching out for him and bringing him into her arms, her body starting to sway just slightly. She chuckled as the kid stared up at her. “Looks like it remembers me. How much do you want for it?” She paused just a moment, before continuing. “Just kidding. But not really. You know, if this thing ever divides or buds, I will gladly pay for the offspring.”

“We’ll get working on that. Make it a booming business.” you responded and she looked up at you with a grin.

“She is funny.” She directed the statement towards Din who sighed. “Where did you find a funny woman who was willing to stick around with you?”

“Lots of credits and no contact with the outside world.” You sarcastically responded but her face just dropped in shock, obviously believing the statement.

“She is kidding.” Din responded and you couldn’t help but to laugh at the exasperation in his voice.

“Oh, kriff. Good!” She looked back at you. “Seriously though, why are you with this guy?”

You chuckled at her question, looking over at Din briefly. “Let’s just say he is lucky the kid is cute.” You teased.

She nodded. “That’s the only reason I let his hunk of junk park here.”

“And not because of the credits?” Din asked.

Peli scowled in response, about to answer when her attention was broken by a loud bang. “Oh, geez. Watch what you’re doing up there! He barely trusts your kind! What, you want to give all droids a bad name?” She continued to yell at the droids, one of which got an air tube stuck to his face.

You leaned into Din a little as she turned away, whispering, “What is with the whole droid thing? You don’t like them?”

“Long story. Don’t mind them now.” he briefly responded and you told yourself to remember to ask him about that later.

Peli suddenly looked back over at you two, eyes narrowing as she saw how close the two of you stood together. You took a small step to the side but her gaze remained steady. “I’ve got to ask. How did you get such a pretty girlfriend? This makes no sense.”

You brought your hand up to your mouth, trying to not choke or laugh at the question. You felt your face flush brightly and you just looked over at Din who stood frozen, just looking at Peli. “I need your help.”

The statement was made to avoid the question but she still scowled at the response. “I assume she is at least.” Her gaze dropped down to you. “Am I right? Because I think I’m right and I have lots of questions if I am. Like why? How? Does he take the helmet off or does that stay on during-”

“You know, we really do need your help actually.” You interrupted, wanting her to stop because you had no clue how to answer any of those questions and fearing what else she would say.

She rolled her eyes, clearly not happy with the lack of answers to her many questions but just nodded. “Fine, then business you shall have. Care for me to watch this wrinkled critter while you seek out adventure?” The question was said hopefully, her arms wrapping around the kid tighter.

“I’ve been quested to bring this one back to its kind.“ Din responded and she chuckled.

“I can’t help you there. I’ve never seen any like it. And trust me, I’ve seen all shapes and sizes in this town.” She looked over at you. “You wouldn’t believe it. Shocking.”

You laughed at her expression, thinking you could probably share a few stories of your own with her. “You’ll have to tell me some time but for now, we need to find a Mandalorian that is supposed to be here.”

“That friend of yours has been the only Mando here for years from what I can tell.” She stated and you sighed. Just like Din had thought.

“Where is Mos Pelgo? I’m told there’s one there.” Din asked.

“Oh. Boy, I haven’t heard that name in a while.“

“It’s not on any map.” You said and she nodded.

“That’s ‘cause it was wiped out by bandits. Once the Empire fell, it was a free-for-all. I didn’t dare leave the city walls. Still don’t.” You couldn’t help but to sigh. Couldn’t Din have to go somewhere that was nice? Just once.

“Can you tell me where it used to be?” Din asked and she shrugged.

“Depends who’s asking. I’ll let you and your friend see it.” She smirked at the way she said friend before shouting to a droid, “R-5! Bring the map of Tatooine.”

You watched as a R5 unit strolled over rather slowly, continuously beeping in response. You noticed a panel on the back of it’s head that looked busted, looking like it was a bad motivator.

“No, take your time.” She looks over at you two, shaking her head. “Seriously. You just can’t get good help anymore. I don’t even know who to complain to! Let’s go, let’s go.” The droid responds back with a melody of beeps, seeming to be yelling at Peli in response.

The droid finally stopped moving, projecting a map which Peli reached over to touch, moving it around and pointing at it as she began to talk. “This is a map of Tatooine before the war. You got Mos Eisley, Mos Espa, and up around this region, Mos Pelgo.”

You squint your eyes, trying to look into the map at where Mos Pelgo was but finding absolutely nothing. Like you had observed earlier, Tatooine seemed to just be a giant desert with a few sparsely located towns and not much else. “I don’t see anything. Is this the right map?”

“Yep. It’s there. Or at least it used to be. Not much to speak of. It’s an old mining settlement. They’re gonna see that big hunk o’ metal long before you land.” Her head tilted towards the ship and you nodded. She was right. A town small enough to barely appear on the map would definitely be alarmed to the presence of a ship, especially one as large as Dins.

“You still have that speeder bike?” Din asked and you felt yourself get excited. You had always wanted to get a speeder bike, almost getting all the parts to fix one you had found on Jakku but that had been stolen before you even had the chance to learn how to fix it.

“Sure do. It’s a little rusty, but I got it. Let me get it ready.” She said, beginning to stroll away.

You looked over at Din with a grin. “Can I drive the speeder bike?”

He looked over at you. “Do you know how to ride one?”

You twisted your lips and shrugged. “No, but it probably isn’t too hard.”

“It is harder than you’d think. I’ll drive it that way you don’t kill us.”

You huffed at his sarcasm, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked up at him quizzically. “I wouldn’t kill us. I’ve always wanted to ride one.”

“What if I promise one day we’ll get a speeder bike and I’ll teach you how to drive it?”

You bounced on your feet, grinning up at him. “Really?”

“Yes.” Din nodded.

You looked up at him, beginning to step a little closer to him as he aimed his helmet down to look at your face. “It is a shame there are people and droids around.”

“Why is that, sweet one?”

“Because I really want to kiss you right now.” you stated and watched as Din shook his head as if trying to not get flustered. You giggled, still smiling brightly up at him even as he turned away from you, seeming to make sure no one was nearby.

“Didn’t know speeder bikes would make you this happy.” He said, quieter than he had spoken before.

You bit your lip. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a hunk of metal.” You winked at him as he chuckled at your statement.

“Oh yeah, this looks just like a friendly conversation to me. Nothing more.” You looked up to find Peli staring at you two, shaking her head. You bit your lip, trying to bite back some laughter as she looked at the two of you with discontent, clearly wanting more information. Instead of saying anything, you and Din just looked right back at her and she rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. “Your speeder bike is ready to go.”

__________

“We need to stop for the night.” Din said loudly, speaking over the wind that rushed past your ears. The speeder bike was a little rocky, not in the greatest condition, but it was fast and thrilling. You had now spent hours riding on it, sitting behind Din and holding onto his waist. The child had been sat at his side, his little ears flapping in the wind as he smiled and giggled. Much like you, he absolutely loved the speeder. Had spent most of the time just letting the wind rush past him and occasionally cooing loudly if you hit a bump or moved sporadically, loving the thrill of it.

“Okay.” It was now night time, the double suns of the planet just barely skirting the horizon. Din brought the speeder to a stop and you lifted your head up, looking around. You felt your eyes widen as your saw a group of Tusken Raiders not too far away, beginning to rise from the fire they had set and looking over at the three of you. “Umm... Din, we should probably go somewhere else.”

Instead, you felt your arms fall away from his waist as he rose from the bike, stepping off it on one side and reached a hand out for you to come down. Instead of grasping it, you just looked at him in shock, eyes widened. “Din, there are Tusken Raiders right there.” you whispered, starting to get panicky as they got nearer and nearer.

“I saw them.” He stated, as if a whole bunch of Raiders was just a normal sight and no big deal.

“And...?” you asked, looking at him in complete bewilderment. Din was usually calm, almost unnervingly so at times, but this was shocking to you even.

“And maybe they will let us sit by their fire.”

You couldn’t help but to gulp, your jaw slacking a little bit as you let it hang open. “What?” you whispered, your voice getting a little screechy.

“I’m good with Tusken Raiders.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just forgot how you were such a people person.” You sarcastically responded and Din chuckled.

He brought his hand closer to you, wanting you to come down. “Trust me, cyar’ika.”

You groaned but grasped his hand, jumping off the speeder with a frown. “If I become a Tuskens wife tonight or they kill us, I will rise from the grave just to kill you.”

Din shook his head at you, not bothering to respond as he looked over once a couple of the raiders reached where your bike was parked. They were both dressed in the traditional brown fabrics of Tuskens, both holding intimidating sticks in your hands that made you wince as your remembered stories of how they could kill a man with just a stick. They began to speak to you two but instead of words, a string of grunts, loud yelling, and rough sounds tumbled from them. You had no clue what they were saying, but it didn’t sound welcoming and you just stood back as they faced the both of you, waiting for a response.

You were just about to hiss to Din that you should leave when he began to respond to them in their language, grunting and speaking in a way you couldn’t even begin to understand. His hands moved along with his words (if that’s what you could call them) and you watched closely. Your jaw dropped just the smallest bit, not wanting the Raiders to mistake it for disrespect but shocked by Din. You didn’t know he could speak any language besides basic and hearing such a rough, primal language coming from him was surprising but also made sense in a weird way.

The three of them continued to go back and forth for a while before the two Tuskens walked off, leaving you alone. Your head whipped towards Din as soon as they got further away. “What was that?”

“What?”

“That language you were speaking!” you said, looking at him with wide eyes. What else would you be talking about?

“Tusken.” Din responded like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You know Tusken?”

“I told you I was good with Tusken Raiders. You need to trust me, sweet one.”

You bit your lip, feeling bashful at not believing him right away. “What did they say?”

“They said we can stay by their fire tonight.”

“Really?” You said, shocked. You had heard rumors of Tuskens and they were never described as the most charming nor welcoming individuals. Tales about them usually consisted of them brutally attacking humans or being barbarians, not welcoming weary travelers to sit by their fire when in the middle of nowhere.

“As long as you treat them with respect, they are good.” You couldn’t help but to smile at his explanation. You hadn’t seen Din interact with many people, but you knew he was respectful to all kinds of creatures and people, not seeming to judge anyone or come to assumptions too harshly. It made sense, since the armor he wore made him susceptible to people making assumptions what kind of person he was based on rumors and stories of Mandalorians. Of course Din would be more likely to give people a chance, not judge them based off common knowledge which was many times wrong or unfairly dramatized for effect.

“You are a good guy, Din.” you said softly.

Din just looked up at you, tilting his helmet a little. “We should probably head over.” Whenever you told Din that, he always seemed to shrug it off. Like he didn’t believe it himself or he still had something to prove. It always saddened you because you just wanted him to look in the mirror and see the man you saw. The kindness, respect, and care he put into the people around him was so admirable.

You nodded but once he started to walk towards where the Tuskens sat, you grabbed his arms and stopped him in his tracks. He didn’t look back, just settling the child who seemed to be uncomfortable. “I have to admit something very, very weird.”

“What is it?” he grumbled, not seeming to put much focus on you.

“You speaking Tusken was kind of hot.” Din’s helmet whipped towards you, and even the child on his side looked up at you as if he understood what you said and was judging very harshly.

“W-what?” He muttered.

You felt yourself flush. “You know, that sounded dumb even while I was saying it so never mind.”

Din finally chuckled, shaking his head and letting his gloved fingers drift down to your hand, his body now facing yours and his back covering what was happening so the Tuskens couldn’t see. “I’ve never been told that before.” you could hear mocking tone in his voice and you tried to pull away from him but he still held onto your hand just barely.

“Alright, let’s never mention that I said that.” You said, completely embarrassed at this point and now finding yourself very eager to join the Tuskens, so nothing else could be said about the topic.

“Remind me to speak to you in Tusken next time we sleep in my bed.”

Your jaw dropped at Din and the meaning behind what he was saying. “I-I didn’t say it turned me on.” you rambled.

Din was the one to freeze this time and you felt your whole face get warm. You realized how foolish you had sounded. You and Din hadn’t done anything more than making out, neither of you pushing it forward more. You didn’t because you were self-conscious, not wanting to make of a fool of yourself. Him because... well, you didn’t know why.

“I didn’t say it turned you on either.” he said to you and you looked up at him, blinking slowly.

“You implied that.” You justified, getting even more flustered as Din began to rub circles into your hand. Your skin already felt warm enough warm enough from all the awkwardness and every time he did that, it made it worse.

“You said it was hot.” he responded plainly.

“It was joke!” You lamely refuted.

“A joke?”

“I thought I said to never mention it again.” You felt like a child but you wanted the conversation to end and hearing Din tease you and talk about it so easily made you frustrated.

Instead of letting go of your hand and heading to the Tuskens, Din just stepped the tiniest bit closer to you and straightened himself up, making himself taller and broader. Your chin tilted up to look at his helmet directly, which you didn’t want to do, but you also weren’t going to look down at your feet like a child. You tried to give him a plain expression, though you could feel the redness that flared across your cheeks and the way your eyebrows were furrowed slightly. Din tilted his helmet slowly, the T-visor looking straight down at you. “Do I turn you on?”

You gasped up at him, your jaw dropping. “Din Djarin!” you quietly hissed at him. But he didn’t back down, just staring right down at you. You hated his ability to make you so self-aware of everything. You feel that because of his armor and helmet, you had to hang on to every small movement and the slightest change of tone in order to read him well. And everything he did made your senses go into hyperdrive, especially when he was purposely trying to fluster you. You tried to speak, but just tripped over your words, getting annoyed with yourself. “W-well... you know you’re e-ego is a little...I think we s-should...” You bit your tongue. You were supposed to be the one with the wise mouth and quick tongue. You found yourself cockily thinking he must of learned this from you, because the Mandalorian you first met was certainly not this cocky.

“Sweet one.” He teased and you gaped up at him.

“Fine, yes! There!” You hissed and pulled away from him. Din nodded at your answer, seeming satisfied. He began to pull away but you now wanted to fluster him like he had with you. “Do I?” you blurted out.

He paused and looked back down at you. “Do you what?”

“Oh, you know what I mean, you kriffing ass.” You responded and Din chuckled, watching as you placed a hand on your hip and looked up at him expectantly.

“Yes.” The question was meant to fluster him but he answered so easily, like you asked him if he wanted some water. There was no teasing or any theatrics involved. Just a plain, simply answer. You thought of several things to say in the moment, small jabs to get back at him, but you just flushed even more, your heartbeat quickening at the answer. Say something.

“Well, good. I better.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest. You began to walk away from him, heading towards the Tusken Raiders who were sat in the circle. You could hear Din’s chuckle as he followed closely behind.

__________

You had finally reached Mos Pelgo and now you understood why you couldn’t find it on a map. It was a small town, though small sounded like the understatement of the year. The whole entire place seemed to stretch over the small portion of road Din was now slowly driving along, a few buildings on each side of it the sandy single street that passed through it, just as empty as the rest of it.The buildings were small and aged, not necessarily in bad shape but you could tell this was a town that had gone through something and didn’t have the opportunity to spruce things up. This was the kind of place where it seemed people simply had to fight each day to just live, not much focus being spent on anything. It made sense, considering its history and it being secluded so much, more so than every other town on the planet already was. It was probably afternoon now, the two suns of Tatooine blaring down on the planet and causing your clothes to stick to your skin a little. Most towns at this time would be full of people working, traveling, getting lunch, and making their way to where they had to go, this town showed no sign of the usual hustle and bustle of places during the week. It was barren except for a few curious eyes here and there, either from people stood on their porches or people peering out from their windows, eyes seeming to dig into you. Each face you saw made you feel like a suspect, like you weren’t welcome. You suspected a town like this didn’t get a lot of visitors, perhaps none for that matter. The last time there had been outsiders may have been the time it was wiped out by bandits following the fall of the Empire. And the only other life you had seen nearby had been Tusken Raiders and while Din seemed to not be bothered by them, they were, well... raiders. And very possibly could be the kind to try to swindle and rob their way through a town like this since it seemed like such an easy target, though you couldn’t imagine there was much value here to be found. After thinking about it, you could understand the judgmental and curious looks. People like this had to be this way and you couldn’t blame them.

Din slowly drifted down the street, seeming to look around for something that stood out. A place where he could find a Mandalorian. You looked around as well, straightening your body up and removing your arms from around Dins waist to bring them up to your eyes, shielding them from the piercing rays of the suns. You didn’t see any places of particular interest and with so few people around, you imagined a Mandalorian would be easy to find if there was one here, strolling around. The speeder bike eventually eased into a slow stop and you turned to your head to the left to see where Din was looking at. It appeared to be a small cantina of sorts and you couldn’t see inside its entrance completely, but you knew it was empty. No music, no sounds of voices, nothing. Just complete silence filled the air and you felt your nose scrunch up. You weren’t a fan of the silence but it seemed to swallow a place like this whole. Like there was no reason to make some noise, have some fun, spark some conversation. Din eventually rose from the bike, you joining him and watching as he made his way to the entrance. You turned back to look at the child, who was sat in the pouch on his bike. He looked up at you, seeming to not know why the ride has stopped. “You stay here for a second, kid.” you told him with a small smile.

Your feet followed Dins path in and once you entered the establishment, your assumption that it was empty was confirmed. There were no day drinkers, nor people grabbing a bite to eat or conducting business. All that stood was a lone bartender, who seemed to be mindlessly stirring a drink mix together with not much care. Definitely no Mandalorian here. Din stepped into the building more and it seemed to grab the bartenders attention, making him look up at you and Din. “Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for a Mandalorian.” You were praying for a quick answer. A simple ‘oh yes, our friendly local Mandalorian is right over there.’ Something to make your trip here worthwhile but you felt any hope dissipate as the bartender just looked at you blankly, no sense of recognition crossing his features as his hands continued to work away on the drink mix.

“Well, we don’t get many visitors in these parts. Can you describe him?” The bartender asked and you let out a sigh. If this man didn’t even know what a Mandalorian was when he had one standing right in front of him, you couldn’t imagine there was one here at all. A Mandalorian would stand out like a sore thumb in a town like this.

“Someone who looks like me.” Din explained plainly, not seeming exasperated but you knew he was thinking the same thing you were.

The man nodded slowly, letting out a hum as a flash of something seemed to finally settle in. “You mean the Marshal?”

Your eyebrows scrunched up. “Your Marshal is a Mandalorian?” You had learned quite a bit about Mandalorians since being with Din, and you had never heard him mention once any Mandalorian being a Marshal of any kind. In fact, you had never even heard of Mandalorians being anything other than bounty hunters. Probably not the type to love law enforcement, none the less become a member of it even in a small town like this where there wasn’t much to look after except a few Raiders every now and then.

“See for yourself.” He grunted and gestured his head to the door you and Din had entered. You both turned around to find a Mandalorian stood in front of you, with quite the outfit on. You knew Dins armor wasn’t the norm. He had never bragged about it or wanted to speak about how much he had paid for his beskar, but you and practically everyone else knew. It was immaculate and pristine, the kind of armor that sparks intimidation and power. Dominance and strength. This armor on the other hand... didn’t give you the same feeling at all and it didn’t even seem to match the individual wearing it. The armor it self had been painted a green and red but you had guessed that must of been many years ago due to how aged and worn it looked. The colors looked half cuffed off, the metal of it sprinkled with marks and dents that had shown it had seen much better days. The helmet that the man adorned was a bit unruly, not seeming quite right on his frame. A pair of wrist-cuffs and a chest plate matched the helmet, looking just as off and bizarre to you. You don’t know what you had expected of a Mandalorian other than Din, but this wasn’t it.

“What brings you here, strangers?” The Mandalorian finally spoke and you could hear a bit of an accent peaking through his modulator which must of also been older, not sounding as clear as the one you were used to that Din wore.

“I’ve been searching for you for many parsecs.” Din stated. You looked over at him to find him calmly stood back, looking at the man before him with no care. It was a curious thing to see him seem to be somewhat comfortable with a stranger. He was an inherently weary man, for good reason, and he didn’t warm up to people. But this wasn’t just a person. This was one of his own. Like a brother of sorts. You wondered how it must feel to have an instant connection with someone. To meet someone who swore by the same Creed you swore to, presumably meaning they had the same morals and beliefs as you did. It must be so nice, especially for a Mandalorian. You didn’t have a lot of people you could trust (or could trust you for that matter) and company wasn’t a norm meaning that when they were with other Mandalorians, there must be this two-sided relief and comfort.

“Well, now you found me.” The man teased and you raised an eyebrow. He already gave you an air of boldness, perhaps even cockiness though you gave him a benefit of a doubt because of the metal strapped to his body. He gave you a small nod, seeming to acknowledge your figure standing besides Din before he strolled to the bar, giving the bartender nod “Weequay, three snorts of spotchka.”

He grabbed three small glasses and a flagon of blue liquid. The Marshal took a seat at a table with three chairs, gesturing to the three cups. “Why don’t you guys join me for a drink?”

You looked over at Din, who remained glued to his spot, and wondering if the same thought was going through his mind. Why was one Mandalorian offering another a drink? Why the three glasses? You curiously walked over to the table, plopping down on the seat besides the Mandalorian and studying him intently. You were about to ask him about the drinks when the answer to your question was answered by a familiar hiss and click. His hands were attached to the helmet, pulling it off his face. Part of you almost looked away, like you would of done if Din had accidentally taken his helmet off. But you already knew deep down this was no Mandalorian so you continued to look at him as the helmet completely uncovered his face and he revealed himself to everyone in the room. He had a big smirk on his face as he looked up at Din’s frozen figure. He had a handsome face with salt and pepper hair that sat on his head and trailed over his chin and jaw. The thing you noticed first though was the cocky smile on his face. A beaming grin filled it as he looked back and forth between the two of you, his eyes landing on you for a little longer as he took in your shocked but also rather annoyed expression. He began to chuckle softly, as if finding amusement in the reactions he had caused. He began pouring the liquid into the cups, each one quickly being filled by the glowing blue liquid. The scent of the alcohol filled your senses as he smoothly slid a glass across the table your way, your hands reaching out to catch it so it didn’t slip off the edge of the metal. He gave you a small nod before looking back at where Mando stood. He was still frozen but you could see how the comfort was gone from just mere seconds earlier. He was standing a little broader than before, his legs widened out into a slightly yet not overtly threatening stance. He was no longer with a Mandalorian but an imposter. An imposter who was smiling at him as if no wronging had occurred and sliding you a drink like you were an old pal and not a potential threat. “I’ve never met a real Mandalorian. Heard stories. I know you’re good at killing. And probably none too happy to see me wearing this hardware.”

You looked over at Din, your eyes catching the sight of the child in the corner, seeming to be studying some container of some sort. You looked back at Din, who hadn’t moved an inch, his helmet still steadily aimed at the Marshal before you. This was not good.

“So...I figure only one of us is walking out of here. But then I see the little guy and the beautiful lady...and I think, maybe I pegged you wrong.” The man continued, the same smirk still on his face. He was handsome but he seemed cocky, arrogant. Two things you didn’t have the energy to deal with.

“Who are you?” you asked and he sends a glimmering grin in your direction.

“I’m Cobb Vanth, Marshal of Mos Pelgos.” He winked your way. “You can just call me Cobb though, sweetheart.”

You raised an eyebrow, sending a exasperated look in Din’s direction before drinking the cup of liquid still held in your hand. Oh, boy. This was certainly going to be interesting.

“Where did you get the armor?” Din asked.

“Bought it off some Jawas.” Why the hell did Jawas have Mandalorian armor? That must of meant there was a Mandalorian on Tatooine at some point, but it definitely was not the man in front of you.

“Hand it over.”

“Look, pal, I’m sure you call the shots where you come from, but ‘round here, I’m the one tells folks what to do.” He explained, resting his hand on the table calmly. “Why don’t you sit down with me and the pretty lady?”

“Take it off. Or I will.” Din commanded and you couldn’t help but to snort at it. You swore sometimes he said things that sounded so inherently sexual just on purpose.

Both men finally turned to look at you and you widened your eyes, realizing the tension in the room had been interrupted by you chuckling. You looked back and forth between the Marshal and Din. “Are you okay?” The marshal asked slowly, seeming intrigued by your reaction.

You nodded very slowly, pouring yourself another drink as you felt uncomfortable with both men just staring at you. “Oh, yeah. Mando here might just want to buy you a drink before he tries taking your clothes off but...” you trailed off, trying to make a joke but Din just looked back at Vanth.

Vanth on the other hand laughed, his eyes twinkling as he kept looking at you. “So far, you are much more enjoyable to deal with.” He looked over at Din. “Maybe the lady and I can work something out.”

“Take it off.” Din repeated, not in the mood for playing games. His hand itched towards his blaster, a subtle movement but once the Marshal was supposed to notice and he did, sighing.

“We gonna do this in front of the kid?” he asked, causing the child to look up from the object he was studying.

“Oh, don’t worry. He has seen much, much worse, pal.” You said with a small smirk of your own, tipping back the drink you had poured.

“Right here then?” Cobb asked.

“Right here.” Din confirmed.

You scooted your chair back as Cobb stood up, sighing. Both him and Din stared at each other, their sight not straying to you or the child rustling around in the corner who seemed to now be watching intently. Both of them reached for their respective blasters, just wrapping their hands around the holsters without pulling the gun itself out. You looked between the two men, exasperated. You loved Din, but if he was going to force the armor off the guy, he should just do it already. You didn’t understand why he was putting on such a show. You let out a loud sigh, crossing your arm over your chest and leaning back in the chair. You once again captured both mens attention, their heads aiming towards you and you shrugged. “Oh, ignore me. This whole ego, macho-man competition is rather thrilling.” You sarcastically muttered.

Before either man had the chance to respond, a loud rumble tore through the atmosphere. You stood from your spot as you the Marshal raised a finger, beginning to walk outside, Din following closely behind. You swooped down to grab the child into your arms, watching as the bartender ran out the back exit. What the hell had you and Din walked into?

You rushed out to where the Marshal and Din were, hearing an alarm start to blare. The child folded his ears onto himself slightly, tucking himself into your chest as if he was trying to hide. You stood next to the two men, watching as they both looked in the same direction. You looked over the same way and that was when you saw it. The sand in the center of the road was moving, seeming to shift from something coming below. A huge array of scales role up from the sand, only showing a small portion of the creature below who tore through the town with reckless abandon. “What the kriff?” You muttered under your breath, barely even hearing yourself over the commotion.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more bizarre, the creature rose from the sand like a creature breaching out of the water. A gigantic head rose up, the skin scaled and gnarled with what appeared to be almost horn-like structures rising from the head. You watched as it crashed down, swallowing a bantha whole in the process as if it was nothing. “What was that?” You asked as it finally slithered back down into the sand, seeming to disappear just as quickly as it came.

“Greater Krayt Dragon.” Din answered as the Marshal stepped forward, watching the people of his town slowly exit their homes and businesses, fearfully checking to see if the threat was truly gone before beginning to pick up the pieces of the damage.

“Maybe we can work something out.” Vanth said, beginning to walk through his town.

You and Din followed him, the child still held in your arms. “What is it?” you asked.

“That creature’s been terrorizing these parts since long before Mos Pelgo was established. Thanks to this armor, I’ve been able to protect this town from bandits and Sand People. They look to me to protect ‘em. But a Krayt Dragon is too much for me to take on alone.” For the first time, you could sense some genuine emotion in the mans voice. You heard the compassion for his people, the way he wanted to help. It was the first time you felt empathy for the man. “Help me kill it, I’ll give you the armor.”

“Deal. I’ll ride back to the ship, blow it out of the sand from the sky, use the Bantha as bait.” Din explained, seeming satisfied to come to such an easy conclusion. You couldn’t help but to raise an eyebrow. It wasn’t your luck for this to go so smoothly.

Cobb confirmed your suspicions with a tiresome smile. “Not so simple. The ship passes above, it senses the vibrations, stays underground. But I know where it lives.”

“Of course. Cause that would have been too easy.” You said and Cobb laughed.

“Exactly, dear.”

“How far?” Din asked.

“Not far. I can take you two there.” Cobb offered and you huffed. Fighting a creature to get some Mandalorian armor. Okay. Fighting a creature that can sense vibrations and having to walk into its territory? Not so okay.

“Give us a second.” You said and Cobb nodded, tipping his head towards you.

“Anything, my lady.” He said like a proper gentlemen, throwing a wink your way before strolling a few feet away to help a towns person pick something up.

You looked over at Din who just looked back at you. “This sounds dangerous.”

“We need to do it.”

“For what?”

“We get the armor and find who it belongs to.”

“Mando, this sounds like a real pain in the ass.” You whispered back at him. You understood he wanted the armor, not just for this mission but because it was considered disrespectful for someone to wear a Mandalorians armor if they weren’t one. But you also knew you didn’t want to kill yourselves over it.

“Look around, sweet one.”

You furrowed an eyebrow but looked around. You saw the people cleaning up the mess that had been made, looking exhausted but not surprised. This was a common occurrence for them. Just another part of life. But life was hard enough, especially for people in a small town like this on Tatooine. In a place like this, getting water was a chore in and of itself. They shouldn’t have to fight off a creature, one who ate their animals and Maker knows what else. You understood where Din was coming from. It wasn’t just about the armor or honor, it was about being able to help people. It was about doing the right thing.

You looked back at Din who still stared back at you and you nodded slowly. “Fine. Let’s get Vanth to show us where it is.”

Before you could walk away, Din grasped your arm just slightly, the child held within them looking over at Din to coo at him. He took it away quickly but had captured your attention. “I don’t like him.”

“I mean he seems egotistical, but I think he will stick to his word. Sounds like he needs help.” You reasoned but Din nodded his head.

“I don’t like the way he is... with you.”

You couldn’t help the sly smile on your face. “Well, well...”

“What?” Din asked, seeming confused by your response.

“Oh, just look at who is jealous now.” You sent him a wink before turning around and waving your hand, capturing Vanths attention. “Come on, marshal! Let’s kill a dragon!”

__________

Back on the speeders you were, heading towards the location of this Krayt Dragons home as you tore through rocky terrain. You clung onto Din as he slowly rode on the edge of a cliff, following Cobb Vanth who was riding on his own speeder bike.

Suddenly, a terrible and intimidating loud growl filled the air and Vanth raised a hand to alert you, both men stopping their speeders and jumping off them, readying themselves for what was to come. You joined them, jumping off the bike you shared with Din and grabbing your blaster off your hip. The kid remained on the side of bike, looking around in wonder. The animal-like noises continue on, echoing off the walls of the cliffs that surrounded you. You and Cobb both glanced around rather nervously, trying to see the source of the noise that grew closer and closer. Din stood tall, his hand tightly clasped around his blaster as he moved towards you slowly, placing his body in front of yours to shield you.

You heard the sound of what must of been foot steps coming closer, the canyon making the sound echoe and sound much more intimidating than it was. Before you could ask Din what to do, something started to round the corner, revealing a large four legged creature with scales and dark skin. It appeared almost dog like, snarling at you four while more started to appear, a whole pack coming closer.

The marshal brought his blaster up, aiming it at the creature but you raised a hand up as Din stepped forward, staring directly at the creature. If Din wasn’t shooting right away, it either wasn’t that dangerous or he had a plan. You quietly waited to see Din’s course of action so you could follow his lead. You and Vanth both suddenly jumped as the Mandalorian suddenly let out a loud cry in what sounded like the Tusken he spoke last night, the inflection in his tone and growl of his voice sounding similar. The creatures seemed to calm instantly, allowing Din to stroll towards the one who led the pack

“What the hell you doin’?” Cobb asked, his face pulled into complete shock as he stared at the scene before him. Din brought a hand up, indicating for Cobb to drop his weapon which he did slowly, seeming hesitant to do so. You put your own blaster back on your side, listening as Din let out more Tusken calls, the animals seeming to listen to them intently.

Then Din did something that made you literally laugh with joy. He bent down at the creature directly in front of him, bringing his gloved hands to the hide of its skin and began to scratch and pet at it. The animal happily leaned in the joy, almost jumping with joy at the contact. You looked over at Cobb, whose eyes were just widened as he stared curiously at the creature and Din. You just gave him a shrug as you looked back at Din, smiling as he eagerly pet the creature who seemed to be enjoying the contact thoroughly.

You walked forward slowly, eventually making it to Dins side and he looked up at you, still petting at the sides of the creature. “Give me your hand.”

You reach one out and he grabbed it, giving another grunt to the creature right before Din’s gloved hand pulled yours downwards until it pressed into the hide of the creature’s skin. It was rough and bumpy, but also warm from the sun that bore down. It had a leathery type of feeling, not exactly soft but it was fine with you. Din let go of your hand, letting you run them over it’s side and the creature let out a satisfied little noise that made you giggle.

Your attention tore away from the creature as a group of Tusken Raiders rounded the corner, seeming to be looking for the pack of animals who had ran ahead of them. Din rose in his spot, beginning to speak to them while his hands moved.

“Hey, partners, either of you want to tell me what’s going on?” Cobb called out and you looked back at him, rising from your kneeled position.

“Dont worry. He is good with Tuskens.” You said, repeating the Mandalorians very words from yesterday and watching as he gave you a bewildered look that you guessed was very similar to your own.

Din continued to speak for a few more moments before turning back to you two. “They want the Krayt Dragon, too. We are going to camp with them for the night and then form a plan.”

__________

Night fell and once again you were spending it surrounded by a fire, sat next to Din as he spoke with Tuskens. You found it funny how he spoke so infrequently to humans but seemed to go on and on with these creatures. Part of you wished you knew the language, if only to know what Din was talking about and what each hand gesture he made meant. Was he talking strictly business? Or was he just having a normal conversation?

Din sat on your right side, the child sat on the ground in between his legs and staring at the creatures before him. On your left was Cobb Vanth, who looked just as confused as he had earlier. He stared incredulously at Din and the Tuskens, eyebrows raised in a state of shock. He leaned into you just a bit and you felt his shoulder brush yours. “Do you have any clue what they are saying?”

“None.” You responded with a grin.

“They could be plotting to kill us for all we know.” He whispered back at you and you couldn’t help but to chuckle.

“Mando wouldn’t let anybody kill me or the kid. But you...” you sarcastically trailed off, teasing the man who looked over at you with widened eyes.

“That was a joke.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself and you just laughed at the expression on his face. “You think you are real funny, don’t you?”

“I’m kind of hilarious.” you stated and the marshal shook his head in disbelief, a smile forming just the smallest bit.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, marshal. Why not?”

“What is a beautiful woman like you doing with him?” He gestured his head to Din, who appeared to be listening intently to the Tuskens.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to woo me, Vanth.” You said with a joking tone causing him to chuckle.

“Cant blame me for trying.” He responded back just as you had, grinning at the joking.

You shook your head. “I mean you can keep trying if you like to fail. And I do love to hear about how pretty I am.” You sarcastically muttered, making it clear you were just joking.

Vanth was about to respond when a Tusken suddenly shoved what appeared to be a bowl, filled with a black liquid that steamed. You scrunched up your nose as the scent of it hit you and you nearly gagged from it. It smelled absolutely horrid in every way.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” Vanth asked, looking down at it with disgust, clearly smelling the same deplorable scent you had.

“You drink it.” Din explained and you almost laughed at the shock on the marshals face.

“It stinks.” he stated plainly, as if expecting Din to understand.

“Do you want their help?” Din asked.

“Not if I have to drink this.” Vanth stubbornly responded.

As soon as Cobb answered, the Tuskens started to yell at him, throwing their hands up and you couldn’t understand much but you knew they were not pleased. “He says your people steal their water and now you insult them by not drinking it. They know about Mos Pelgo. They know how many Sand People you killed.” Din explained.

“They raided our village. I defended the town.” The Marshal shouted, clearly becoming agitated himself and defensive

You looked over at the man and narrowed your eyes. “Just shut up and drink it.”

He looked at you with a crazed expression, as if shocked that you weren’t defending him. “Do you smell this?”

You did smell it, and it smelled like complete shit. But it certainly seemed better to drink it then being torn apart by Tuskens who were now rising from where they sat, screeching out and positioning themselves, ready to fight. “It smells better than us getting killed.” You hissed and he just rolled his eyes.

“These monsters can’t be reasoned with!” Cobb yelled out, rising from his seat as well and looking absolutely furious at this point.

“Men...” you muttered, resting your face against your hand as you shook it.

Cobb took no notice of your exasperation with his attitude, continuing to yell at the creatures. “Sit back down before I put a hole through you! I’m not going to say it-”

Suddenly an explosion of fire erupted next to you, causing you to jump up from your seat. Your head snapped to the right to find Din, an arm stretched out as flames erupted from it, causing the the Tusken and Cobb to stumble back in shock and fear. The child sat between his legs looked shocked as well, gazing up into the orange burst of heat with pure curiosity. It only lasted for a few moments, but it worked incredibly well. Both groups fell silent as their gaze fell upon Din. You could feel the frustration radiating off him and moments like this made you realize why he wasn’t a people person. You continued looking over at him as he turned his head just slightly to look at you, as if checking on you. “Well, that worked.” you mumbled with a small chuckle, your lips quirking slightly to show a small smile. Din only nodded in response, turning to look back at the Tusken and continue conversing with them.

Cobb looked down at you, his expression warped into confusion, anger, fear, and disbelief. You were certain he had probably never had a day quite like this before. “What is he saying now?”

“I’m pretty talented but believe it or not, I didn’t learn Tusken in the last few minutes.” You dryly responded, the same quirk of your lips present. That seemed to break him out of his trance, making a small chuckle pass through his lips before his gaze wandered over to Din.

“What are you telling them now?”

Din finally looked over at Cobb and you swore you could feel him roll his eyes. “The same thing I’m telling you. If we fight amongst ourselves, the monster will kill us all.”

You shook your head in agreement. “And I think we can probably all agree that none of us wanna be a light meal for this dragon.”

The Marshal nodded in response, rubbing his hand through his beard as if thinking. “Yes, that’s true.”

“Well then glad we agree.” you said, standing from your seat.

“I don’t have to drink this still, right?” Cobb pointed at the drink he had rested on the log he had been sitting on, the black liquid in it still steaming.

“Oh, fuck it.” You rolled your eyes and grabbed it. It smelled absolutely terrible, like bantha waste and rotten blue milk all wrapped in one. But it wasn’t a lot and if you didn’t think about it, you could get it down. You had been through much worse. You brought the shell that acted as a cup to your lips, throwing it back quickly and letting the liquid pass through your lips and down your throat. To your dismay, it tasted as bad as it smelled and looked, but you just chugged to try to get it over with, your face involuntarily scrunching up as you did so. Once you finished, you let the cup drop for your hands to the ground and rested one of your hands on your stomach, suddenly feeling very full and slightly queasy from the grotesque drink. Your other hand reached up to wipe at your face, where you could feel a few drops of the liquid dribble down your chin.

As you brought your hand down, you looked over to find everyone was completely silent. Cobb looked at you like you had grown a third eye, his jaw slightly dropped. The child looked up at you, making a face like he was disgusted and had taken a sip himself. You couldn’t read the expressions of the Tuskens but they were all looking in your direction, not grunting or making the slightest noise. Even Din stood next to you, a hand on his hip as his helmet tilted down to get a good look at you.

“No offense, but that tasted like complete shit.” You said, breaking the silence that was beginning to become overwhelming in every way. To your complete shock, the Tuskens started yelling and whooping and for a split second you thought you had done something wrong. Until one walked over to you and patted your shoulder, causing you to grin. You guessed they were shocked and amused that somebody had been willing to drink it. You had only wanted to show no disrespect but you found yourself overwhelmed by the response. You looked over at Din with a big grin but he only stared right back at you, making no movement towards you.

“Ma’am, you have managed to exceed all my expectations.” Cobb said and you looked over to him, to finally see him smiling freely. It was different from the cocky grin from earlier, seeming more genuine. You could see why some might find him a handsome man, with the scruffy beard and charm and good smile.

“I am very impressive.” You stated confidently.

He nodded in response and brought a hand to pat at your shoulder. “So I see.”

You felt a hand grab the back of your arm just slightly, starting to pull you back. You turned your head to see Din, one arm holding the kid and the other hand holding onto you. You smiled at him but he didn’t make any indication to acknowledge it. You understood why he acted differently in front of other people. It was almost like he had a role to play. A reputation to uphold. It probably wouldn’t be very intimidating if he was treating you like he always did, with people around. You also knew that wasn’t who Din was. He wasn’t comfortable with other people, nor ready to display any comfort he did feel with someone with the world. You don’t think it was shame or disgust he felt towards you, but merely you and Din were almost in your whole own world when you were with each other. And you didn’t need others in it.

“What’s up?” you asked.

“They set up some tents for us. We should go sleep.”

You raised an eyebrow, hearing an edge to his tone you were familiar with, but he had never taken it with you before. It was his rough, stoic Mando voice. The kind he gave people like Cobb. Not you. “I’m not really tired. I should probably wow everybody again and drink some-“

“We need rest before tomorrow.” Din said it quietly, not trying to capture the attention of others. The Tuskens didn’t seem to notice anything different, paying no attention to you two. But Cobb did, stepping forward just slightly.

“I can keep an eye on her if you want, partner. Wouldn’t mind the company.” He said, throwing a wink in your direction.

“She is fine.” Din insisted and you felt so much confusion. Why was he acting this way? It was like there was a wall between you. You wanted to reach out, hold onto him and ask him what was wrong but you knew this wasn’t the time nor the place.

Instead you just looked at Cobb and smiled. “You know, I should actually get the kid to bed. He becomes a monster without good sleep. Goodnight, marshal.”

“Goodnight to you. And you too, Mando.” He said, tipping his head towards Din. Instead of responding to him, Din simply jerked his body away, your arm still held tightly in his hand as he began to march away from the fire.

You looked back apologetically at Vanth. Sure, Din could come off as cold initially. But he was a good man, and certainly not a rude one. You had seen the respect he had shown to the Tusken Raiders, so what was his problem?

“Din, what is going on?” You finally said once you were further away, the fire of the camp starting to fade away. Two small tents were set up further away from the others, and you assumed it was for privacy for Din.

Din didn’t respond and you huffed, jerking your arm away from him. He finally stopped stomping, freezing in his tracks before turning to you. His helmet aimed right at you, T-visor seeming to stare straight into you. “Why aren’t you talking to me?”

“I figured you were too busy thinking of the marshal.”

You couldn’t help the way your jaw dropped slightly and anger flared in you. “What are you talking about?” You spat out and Din sighed. The child in his arms looked back and forth between the two of you, beginning to whine in discomfort.

“You know what I’m talking about.” Din coldly responded and you scoffed.

“I don’t think I am. Why don’t you enlighten me?”

“Maybe I should of let you stay with Vanth like you wanted to so much.”

“I don’t want to stay with Vanth. I want to know what you are going on about.”

Din stayed silent, not responding to you and treating you like he did with so many others. You stepped towards him but instead of reaching out for him, you grab the child from his arms, who continues to whine softly, his eyes drooping. “I’m putting the kid to bed.”

You turned away from him, waiting for no response as you trudged off to one of the two tents that were set up.

_____

Once the child finally fell asleep, snuggled into a ball of blankets, you considered just going to bed. But it wouldn’t stop nagging at your mind. The way Din treated you and what he had said. Stay with Vanth like you wanted? What the hell did that mean?

You crawled out of the tent, feeling the warm Tatooine air hit you, but with a cool night breeze pulling in that relieved you from the heat of the day. You rose your head up, finding Din standing outside of his tent, arms crossed over his chest and head aimed up, as if looking into the sky. He was still clad in his armor but it seemed like a layer had been taken off him. Like he was finally able to relax and get rid of the Mando persona, become the Din you knew again.

You stepped over, your boots crunching softly in the sand and Din looked over at your approaching figure. You stopped right next to him, looking up at his helmet. It was dark outside, but the moon shone brightly and a lantern sat outside each tent, illuminating the metal of his armor enough so you could see him. “Care to explain what is happening?” you calmly asked.

“Vanth and you seem to get along.”

Oh. Oh. Was this... Din being jealous? You had teased him earlier for it, but you had only been teasing him in an attempt to get him back for the way he had teased you about Peli earlier. You didn’t think he could be jealous in any way because you knew there was no reason for him to be. You were hopelessly devoted to Din, almost stupidly so even though there was nothing tying you two together. No label. No title. Just the shared nights in his bed and the kisses you exchanged in the dark. “What?” You mumbled out and Din sighed.

“He finds you attractive. I see the way he looks at you.”

You couldn’t help but to awkwardly chuckle. “Oh, please. I think that is just his natural expression. Pretty sure he might of been undressing you with his eyes earlier.” You joked but Din shook his head and sighed, causing the smile on your face to drop.

“No. He wants you.” Din insisted, now looking away from you. You couldn’t help but to wonder if he was flushed from jealously or insecurity. If his face was tinted red likes yours was starting to be.

“That is silly, Din.”

“No it isn’t. You are a very attractive person. Strong. Smart. Of course he wants you.”

You wanted to flush from the praise, allow yourself to bask in it but all you felt was a sting of sadness course through you. You could hear the inflection in Dins tone and though it was one you couldn’t place, you knew it wasn’t good. It wasn’t your normal Din.

“Din-”

“Do you want him?”

You gasped quietly, looking up at him with complete shock. “What?” You sputtered out.

“He is handsome. Flirtatious.”

“Gee, are you interested?” You sarcastically responded but Din seemed to find no humor in your joke once again, his helmet finally tilting to look over at you again.

“You kept smiling at him. Talking to him.”

“I was being polite, Din. Treating him like I treated Peli.” You explained but his head tilted.

“Peli isn’t a man. A man who is intrigued by you.”

“Hey, you don’t know. Peli could find me extremely alluring.” Din sighed and you bit your tongue. This was not the time for jokes but that was usually was you reverted to when uncomfortable. “Din-”

“I don’t want you to.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I don’t want you to want anyone.” He now turned, his body facing yours and helmet looking down at you directly.

“W-what?”

“I only want you to want me. I didn’t like when you... smiled or joked with him.”

“Din, you have nothing to-”

Din stepped towards you again but you didn’t move back, allowing his frame to be only inches from yours. “I only want you to want me.”

Your breath caught in your throat and now you felt a blush spread through your whole face, your chest feeling like it had been caught on fire. Oh, Maker, all you wanted was Din. Sometimes the want you felt, the need you had for him, was so overwhelming. You didn’t know how you had gone so many years of your life without him and now that he was here, he was like a drug you couldn’t get rid of. One you needed more and more of. One you needed to swallow you whole and intoxicate all your senses until they just become a part of you. Like they were just an extension of your being. And hearing Din say this, say how he wanted you to feel that way, made your legs want to give out. “Din.” You gasped as his hands reached out to your waist, holding onto you tightly.

“What do you want, sweet one?” This is one of the first times you heard an almost dangerous edge to his voice. Not one that was threatening or scary, not directed towards you necessarily. But it was dominant and complex and it made your stomach clench.

“All I want is you.”

Din paused for a moment, pulling your hips against his frame as he looked down at you. His chest remained steady, taking deep breaths in and out, completely calm and in control. You on the other end felt like you were gasping for air, like you couldn’t get enough oxygen in your lungs because Din was just consuming you. “Say it again, sweet one.”

“You, Din. All I wanted was you. All I want and will want is you. No one else.” You repeated, hoping you didn’t sound as needy and eager as you did in your head.

Din leaned down, his helmet brushing down your face, the cool metal of it gliding against your warm skin and sending shivers down your spine. “You are mine, cyar’ika.”

You nearly whined at the huskiness of his voice, how rough it sounded through the modulator. Your chest pressed against his and he clutched onto you even tighter. “No one else can have you. I am yours. Always will be here to take care of my girl. You don’t need anyone else. You understand?”

“Yes, Din. Yes.” You felt like you brain couldn’t process anything, the husk whispers tumbling from his lips making your body feel numb.

His fingers dug into your hips even more and this time you let out a whine, just the smallest noise but you knew Din heard it. “All mine. No one can care for you like I do. Be there for you like I do. Kiss you like I do.” You let out a frantic nod at that one, wanting to kiss Din so badly but knowing you couldn’t. Though you were further away from the camp site and from the other tents, you were still in the open. Exposed. Just one person had to walk up and they’d see you. See the way Din held onto you and the way your arms began to wrap around his neck, pulling him tighter against you. “We haven’t talked about it.”

You raised your eyebrow just slightly, wondering what he was meaning. “Talk about what?”

“What we are.”

Oh. You hadn’t. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to have the conversation. But things were so good and you didn’t want to scare him away with some type of commitment. Before you and the child, Din had only ever been committed to his work, his Creed. No person or personal ties. Of course there was something between the two of you. That was clear. But what was it exactly? “We haven’t I guessed.”

“How come?”

Din’s hands continued to clutch onto you, his thumbs now drawing lazy circles into you. “Well, it’s just been good-”

“Really good.”

“Yeah.” you agreed, smiling. “And I just didn’t mention it cause, y’know, it isn’t really necessary. We can just keep doing what we are doing.”

“Is that what you want?”

Your heart quickened at his question. “I just want you.” you admitted, looking away from him just slightly.

A hand left your waist, grabbing onto your chin gently and lifting it up to look directly at him. “Cyar’ika.”

“Yes?”

“You’re important to me.”

“I know.”

“No.” He interrupted, letting his hand drift up so his fingers brushed your cheek. “I am dedicated to you, okay? I’ll be yours.”

You pulled away just slightly, to look at him more clearly but you wished so desperately it was his face you were looking at. That you could look into soft eyes barely illuminated by the soft glow of the moon and lanterns. See the lips you always craved so much. Feel the chin you had pressed kisses along and held in your hand. See the hair your fingers ran through every night. But instead you just smiled softly into the helmet, looking right into the T-visor and hoping you were making eye contact. “Yeah?”

“Yes. If that’s what you want.”

“That’s what I want.”

“Good.” Din said lowly as he pulled you in, now wrapping his arms around your lower body to pull you in for a hug. It wasn’t the most comfortable due to all the bulky beskar he wore but it was your Din holding onto you, and that made it the best feeling. As he continued to hold you close, his hands started to drift down your lower back, fingers brushing against the bottom of your shirt and jacket, pulling the fabric up just the smallest amount so his gloved fingertips could craze bare skin. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin instantly.

“Din...”

“Yes, sweet one?”

“We should probably go to our tents.”

“I don’t want to.” He continued to rub the skin and you tried to gently pull away but he held you close.

“Someone could see.”

“Let them see.” He murmured roughly.

“Din... we should go to bed.”

“Come to my tent.” Din now whispered, leaning his forehead against yours and you sighed at the contact. Ever since you learned what a kedblade kiss was, it made it so special whenever Din went out of his way to do it because you knew what it mean to him.

“We can’t leave the kid in a tent alone. You’ll have to sleep alone tonight.” You heard the way you even whined, how clear it was that you weren’t happy with it. But the tents were extremely small and you had already put the child to sleep in what was supposed to be your tent.

“I don’t want to sleep.” He said and you sighed.

“Well, you need some rest. We’ve got a Krayt dragon to kill tomorrow.” You told him, listening to him grunt in response.

“I need you.” The way Din grumbled was barely audible but you heard, nodding against his helmet.

“I know I’m just so great to sleep next to but I think you will survive.” You respond sarcastically but Din let out another grunt.

“I don’t want to just sleep next to you, sweet one.”

You froze as his large hands grab onto your hips, letting out a small “Oh” as he squeezed them. Not roughly but just enough for you to feel the pressure of his hands, to make you gasp quietly. “Din, you may have picked the worst time to try to seduce me.”

“Is it working?” He asked and you let out a chuckle at the question, shaking your head in disbelief. Part of you couldn’t believe this was the same man who had barley spoken a word to you for the first few weeks on the Crest. The man who you thought you drove crazy with every word that left your mouth. Now he was holding onto you, saying how he wanted you and making a warmth fill in you that you’ve never felt before. Made your chest heave as your heart slammed in your chest, not out of fear but thrill and excitement. This was the man who now made you feel so many things, things you never even felt before.

“It’s working very well but we can’t.” You knew Din knew you couldn’t. It was too risky when you weren’t within the safety of the Crest. Too many people around and you were in the middle of the desert of Tatooine. Not the prime location.

Din let out a sigh as you slowly pulled away from him, his helmet still aimed right at you as his fingers began to slip away from your skin. His shoulders sagged slightly as you moved out of his reach. You knew if he didn’t stop talking to you like this and touching you like that, you wouldn’t be able to stop and you’d both do something stupid. “Sweet one, you are killing me.”

You’ve never heard Din sound so desperate in his life and you almost wanted to laugh at it. Instead you just smirked and nodded, knowing exactly what he was feeling but not wanting to show it. “Let’s kill this dragon, get the hell off Tatooine, and then we can...” you drifted off, feeling your face flush.

“Kill a Krayt dragon. Should be easy.” Din sarcastically responded and you chuckled.

“Eh, you’ve dealt with me this long. Krayt dragon should be a piece of cake.” You smirked at him and he shook his head.

“Sweet one?”

“Yes, Din?”

“Close your eyes for a second.”

You looked around. No one was near by, the sounds of the Tuskens could no longer be heard and you could just see the flame from the bonfire coming to an end. “Din, what are you-“

“Just close them real quick.”

You stayed where you were, standing a few feet away from him, but you closed your eyes. You listened closely as you heard Din step closer, feeling him lean against you just slightly as he stood in front from you. A small click rang out into the emptiness of the desert but the usually hiss didn’t follow, making you believe he hadn’t taken the helmet off completely. “Is your helmet-“

You were cut off by his lips pressing down against yours and you let out a small, content sigh at the feeling. You hadn’t kissed him in what felt like forever. All day yesterday you had traveled and the Tuskens last night didn’t have tents so you both slept outside, where you didn’t have any privacy. And today you had either spent the whole day with Vanth or Tuskens, leaving not a single moment for just you and Din.

You rested the palms of your hands against the chest plate he wore, letting the slight toughness of his lips take over. One hand reached out to grab at your hip and he pulled away, leaving one last peck before a click rang out again. “You can open your eyes.” You let them slowly flutter open, wishing you could still feel his lips against yours, the way they moved with you and conveyed things that couldn’t be said with words. “I just needed to kiss you.”

His hand drifted away and you smiled at him. “Very understandable.”

Din nodded at your tease and started to step back, towards his tent. You almost felt yourself whine as he started to move away from you. You hadn’t realized how used you had gotten to sleeping next to Din until you were faced with the realization that you had to sleep alone. You could probably squeeze in with Din and the kid in one, but you didn’t know if he could do that. Couldn’t risk somebody finding the Mandalorian tangled up in a tent with you. Probably not the most intimidating thing. But it still didn’t ease the way you felt. It might of been silly. It was only one night, but you had become addicted to him and you had already spent the last two days with minimal contact. But instead of saying anything, you just smiled at him softly as he neared the entrance of his tent, bringing yourself closer to yours. He was only a matter of a few feet away. You’d be fine.

“Goodnight, cyar’ika.”

“Goodnight, Din.”

__________

“Well, you really missed out on some fun after you left last night.” Cobb said with a grin as you approached him. He stood by the remnants of the bonfire from the night before, his legs spread and his arms crossed over his chest with his helmet sat on the ground besides him.

You stood a few feet away from Cobb, looking as his head lolled over towards you. The child in your arms was the first to respond, cooing and squirming. You let him down, watching as he seemed to relax and start to waddle around. He was becoming more dependent, not wanting to be held as much and wanting to explore on his own.

You looked around, seeing where everybody was. It was early in the morning but you had had a hard time falling asleep last night. And you didn’t want to admit it was because of Din not being next to you, but that was definitely the case. The child had woken up early along with you and instead of sitting in the tent, you decided to walk around before everything got started. You presumed that the Tuskens were probably in their tents, still asleep. Din hadn’t heard you earlier and you assumed he was still asleep in his tent, not wanting to wake him up earlier than you had to with the work ahead of him. It appeared you and Vanth were the only ones around. “Oh, really? What happened?”

“Tuskens finally got me to drink that stuff.” The face he pulled as he told you what happened was enough explanation. It twisted up into utter disgust, like he was still tasting it on his tongue and feeling the effects of it.

“Tastes like absolute shit, doesn’t it?” You asked him and he nodded fervently.

“I don’t know how you got it down so easily.”

“Pure willpower. And I used to drink lots of cheap alcohol which is almost as bad.” Cobb let out a laugh, shaking his head.

“Are you always this... spunky?”

“Spunky?” You asked, raising an eyebrow just the smallest bit.

“Can’t think of a word to describe ya.” He chuckled as he dropped down, planting himself onto one of the benches from last night. “I hope that Mandalorian of yours wasn’t too upset last night.”

You now let your eyebrows shoot up, looking down on him from where you stood. “What do you mean?”

“Well, let’s just say I now know why he isn’t too fond of me.”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “He isn’t too fond of anybody to be honest.”

An eyebrow of his quirked up. “I don’t think that’s true. Seems to be fond of you and that kid.” He looked over at the child, who continued to waddle around. “I just didn’t know. That’s all.”

“Know what?” you asked.

“Well, when you walked in with the Mandalorian yesterday, I figured you were a nanny or some bounty he dragged along to work with him. I didn’t know you two were...” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

You felt your face flush and you had no clue what to say. Should you deny it, say you are just a work partner of his or something? Or did you confirm his suspicions? You and Din had never discussed what to tell people about your situation. You figured on his end he probably found it unnecessary to discuss with others because it was none of their business. And what do you even say?Saying he was your boyfriend or something along those lines felt so silly. “Um, well, y’know we are j-just pals.”

Cobb now laughed heartily at that, clutching onto his stomach as his eyes crinkled up. He kept going like that and you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your shoulders as he continued to loose it. “Okay, you can shut up now or I’ll kick your ass.”

“What’s going on?” You jumped at the voice behind you, turning around to see Din standing a couple feet away from you. Vanth began to straighten up but his face was still red from the laughter and he kept snorting, trying to hold it in but seemingly unable to do so.

“Your girl here was just telling me about how you two are such great pals.” He said, a giggle following the words as he smiled up at you.

You didn’t even bother to glare at the marshal, just looking over at Din who tilted his helmet at you, as if asking ‘Pals?’ “The marshal here was just being an idiot.” you uncomfortably said, shifting in the spot where you stood.

“I was just trying to say I was sorry for my... advances.” He stood from where he was sat, looking at Din now and finally looking like he recovered from his laughing fit. “I didn’t realize you two were pals.” He said the word with a knowing grin.

You looked over at Din who stared right back at Vanth, his helmet aimed right at him. “Well, now you know.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over and you looked down to find the kid joining in on the awkwardness, just standing there and staring between the two men. You cleared your throat, causing all three to look over at you, and clapped your hands together. “Alright, boys, why don’t we go hunt down a dragon?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Cobb said, beginning to walk off towards the Tuskens who finally began to exit their tents and leaving you and Din alone with the child.

You looked over at him and felt the corner of your lip quirk up. “That went well.”

“Yeah. We should tell everybody we are pals.”

You smiled dropped as your narrowed your eyes at him, not amused by his sarcasm. “You know, he suggested that there was something between us-”

“Because there is.”

You rolled your eyes at his need to clarify, even though your chest squeezed at the confirmation. “-and I didn’t know what to tell him.”

“What do you mean, tell him?”

“Like do I say we are friends? Or work partners? It’s not like I can say something silly and ruin your very serious Mando reputation.”

“Something silly? Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” You looked down at your feet, becoming flushed from the way he continued to just stare right at you. “Boyfriend or something like that.” You mumbled very quietly, hoping he didn’t hear it all.

Din just nodded. “Say we are partners.”

You looked up at him and tilted your head. “Partners?”

“It’s a good word.”

You thought about it and supposed that it was the perfect word. Partner didn’t necessarily indicate something romantic. Could just mean you worked alongside him. But it could also mean he was your partner, your person. It didn’t require any explanation and a person could just take it either way. You nodded your head and smiled. “Alright, partner.”

Din chuckled at you and bent down to grab the kid, lifting him up into his arms. “Are you ready?”

You nodded your head, looking out to see the Tuskens preparing to travel to the home of the dragon. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

Tag List: @ilikethoseodds @dindaddy @poguesvixen @starspangledwidow @fangirlalexia @the-scandalorian @ka-x-in @keepcalmandblogstuff @the-lady-of-stars @orneryscandalousevil @spaghetti-666 @afootnoteinyourhappiness @the-darkempress @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @dee-vn @eury-dice3 @rb4writers @just-me-and-my-obsessions00 @lxdyred @queen-since-97 @honey-hi @periptill @seninjakitey @guiltyegg

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian imagine #mandalorian fanfiction #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian imagine #mando #din djarin x female reader #the mandalorian season 2 spoilers #the mandalorian season 2 #star wars #star wars imagine #star wars fanfiction #mando x reader #Pedro Pascal

214 notes · View notes

teaspoon-full-of-sugar · 4 years

Text

sleeping on the blacktop

pairing: harry styles x reader

warnings: angst, descriptions of a car accident, blood, gore, mentions of death, vomiting, medical terminology (that i know absolutely nothing about !! i am not a doctor or an emt—almost all of my knowledge is from an anatomy class or tv so—don’t come for me pls), my ramblings about fate and free will, i also gave the baby a name (sorry if you don’t like it :( i just hate having y/d/n, ya know? too much work)

word count: 8.5k

synopsis: while harry is away on tour, his wife and baby get into a car accident

author’s note: please, be mindful of the warnings and don't read if you're uncomfortable with anything mentioned and sorry for the sort of rushed ending... other than that, i hope you enjoy! xx all the love

masterlist

—

“You don’t need to do that,” Anne says from behind her, and Y/N flinches, nearly dropping a plate. She got lost in her thoughts, staring out the window in Anne’s kitchen.

“You cooked. It’s the least I can do,” she says. Anne grabs a rag and dries some of the dishes. Gemma is keeping Rhiannon occupied in the next room, and from the peals of laughter, it’s the happiest she’s been in days. Y/N sighs, wiping her pruned hands on a paper towel. If she’s being honest, she’s not doing too well; Rhia has had a hard time adjusting to not having Harry around all the time, causing a varied sleep schedule and more bouts of fussiness in general, and Y/N struggles keeping up.

“How’re you doing?”

Y/N hesitates. She contemplates lying. She doesn’t need one more person worrying for her, and she doesn’t want people to think that she can’t take care of her own child by herself. Harry already worries enough, even though she’s assured him many times that he doesn’t need to be.

She knows that he feels guilty for not being there all the time, but she would never force him to stop touring and doing what he loves, partly because she’s afraid he’ll resent her. Despite him being across an entire ocean, she never feels like he is far; he’s always willing to stop anything when she calls, and he tries his hardest to talk with her twice a day. She always keeps him as involved as possible, sending daily updates and photos.

“It’s tough,” she admits, “but it’s getting better, no need to worry about me.” She offers Anne a weak smile.

“Can’t help it,” she says, pinching her cheeks lightly.

Noticing the dimming sky, the sun sinking below the line of trees in the yard, Y/N sighs.

“We should probably go,” she mutters, slipping into the next room. Despite how tired she is, she can’t help the smile that takes over her face when Rhiannon looks up at her, showing her gums.

“Time to go, bug,” she says, light and lilting. Rhia kicks her legs, making her almost lose her balance. She’s too confident for her own good, like her father; she’s only just started sitting up on her own and thinks she can wiggle around without falling.

“You sure you’re okay to drive, love?” Anne asks from behind her. Y/N rolls her eyes, yet smiles fondly at her protectiveness.

“We’ll be fine. It’s only a few minutes away.”

Ever since Harry left for tour, Y/N has been staying in their lake cottage to be closer to Anne. It’s only a quick 20 minute drive away, which has been helpful during the days when Y/N needed to catch up on sleep, and Anne is always happy to help. She didn’t like to do that very often, feeling like she was taking advantage of her mother-in-law.

The cottage was a cute little thing, perfect for just the two of them, and Y/N was glad to get out of their shared home; it was too big and empty for just her and Rhia. Harry was always able to liven up any place they were at, but now that he’s gone, it felt hollow and dismal.

“You know you’re welcome to stay here. I’ve got plenty of room,” Anne tries to convince her one last time. As much as Y/N appreciated her worrying, she didn’t want to impose, and she’s sure that Anne wouldn’t want to listen to a fussy baby, even though she would deny it to the end of her days.

Y/N puts Rhia in her coat with little resistance, which is surprising, but she only had a short little nap that afternoon, and they had a busy day.

“I know, Anne, but I don’t want to intrude,” Y/N says. “Besides, Rhia sleeps better in our bed, and you need all the sleep you can get, don’t ya?” She tickles her daughter’s little bloated belly, making her giggle sweetly. Once she’s strapped in, the baby stretches and tries to put Y/N’s fingers in her mouth.

“You know I worry about you,” Anne sighs, kneeling next to Y/N.

“No need to worry,” Y/N smiles. Anne tucks the woven green blanket under Rhiannon’s legs. It’s the same blanket Harry had when he was a baby, barely held together with a few threads and love. Y/N stands, hoisting the carrier up to her hip.

“Call me when you get home, yeah?”

“Course,” she says, pressing a kiss to Anne’s cheek.

When they’re settled in the car, Anne stays out on the porch, watching them until they’re safely on the road, offering a wide smile and an air kiss. Y/N is so thankful to have her shoulder to lean on.

It’s a clear night, which Y/N is thankful for, no fog or rain, which isn’t an often occurrence. She stops at a sign, brakes squealing slightly. She stays there for a second, feeling the familiar burn of exhaustion behind her eyes. She rests her forehead against the steering wheel.

“Da, da,” Rhiannon mumbles. Y/N reaches behind her, barely able to reach her on the opposite side of the back seat, and she grabs onto her fingers.

“I know, peach,” Y/N sighs, “Miss daddy, too.”

She never considered how fragile life could be until she met Harry, not in the sense that death is an imminent and constant force, more in the sense that everything, her goals, her view on life, and her priorities, shifted when she met him. He became her influence, and she was willing to go through hell or high water just to be with him.

In summation, it takes all but five seconds for your life to completely change, for better or for worse.

There are dozens upon dozens of tiny events that build up and push you toward that one big moment that will change your life. Nothing is set in stone; different choices lead you down different paths, and your paths are constantly changing, either for better or worse, and slowly but surely, you’ll finally reach the top of that mountain. Every choice you questioned, every sacrifice you made, will come together in due time, just know that you’re working toward a greater purpose.

Y/N has never been a big believer in fate, that everything is beyond your control and that everything is already set in stone, but perhaps there is some truth to it. Fate could have pushed her to leave home when she was young. Fate could have put her on a safe and stable path when she went to university that landed her a good job when she was fresh out of her internship, and fate could have brought Harry into her life.

But she will never claim fate as a sole guide to her life. Fate is not responsible for her success nor her mistakes; that was all because of her hard work and integrity, her youth and ignorance. To her, fate is simply an excuse. People want to put blame on something, and when things seem out of their control or when they make bad decisions, they don’t feel quite as guilty. They’re willing to take credit for good things that happen but won’t when it affects them negatively.

Say, perhaps, that fate brought Y/N to that intersection, then maybe it was fate that planted the trees that obscured her vision; perhaps, it was fate that made the lights in the post go out that evening.

If so, fate has a twisted sense of humor.

If not, why wouldn’t fate give her any time to react before the impact?

How could fate be so cruel?

—

Working as an EMT, there are always certain risks you accept when you are on the clock; not only are you surrounded by an unbelievable pressure, there is always the ominous cloud looming overhead, a thin thread between life and death threatening to break at any moment, and it’s your job to keep them stable until they arrive at the hospital.

Not too hard, right?

Being able to save people from the brink of death and reuniting families makes almost everything worth it, but there are always scenes that stick with you for the rest of your life, and for Leslie Greene, this is one of them.

What stands out the most is the sound of a crying baby.

She’s seen some very horrific accidents: cars that have been reduced to nothing more than a ball of cheap scrap metal, with blood coating the shattered glass, to DOA’s, where the impact made them look unrecognizable. She has seen a lot of unspeakable things and had a lot of good people die on her watch.

But never has she ever had a baby present at any accident scene. That’s new.

Those cries will probably haunt her for the rest of her life.

“I didn’ see ‘em,” the man slurs from the police car. He has a bloodied lip and a slight bruise forming around his neck from the seat belt. The stench of rum rolls off him with every breath. He sits back, eyes dull and hooded, like he doesn’t even realize what he’s done.

Another EMT meets with her half-way to the other vehicle, lodged against the ditch across the way.

“Driver side sustained some serious damage. The baby has no discernible injuries, but another ambulance is a minute out to take her.”

From the driver’s side, Leslie can see the baby on the opposite side of the backseat, the car seat still tightly in place. The baby flails about, legs and arms kicking with strength. The car is twisted and mangled, but most of the damage is on the driver’s side, the door latched closed. Shattered glass cracks beneath her boot.

When they’re finally able to get the car door open, the woman, barely even mobile, opens her eyes slightly, but she flinches back at the bright lights. Blood drips down from her hairline, bruises already forming on her eyes from the impact on the steering wheel. Blood pools on the leather seat as she shifts with discomfort.

James, a newbie who has never been to a scene with this much damage, breathes out shakily. Leslie turns to see his lips curling, close to dry heaving.

“Go get the baby, yeah?”

He nods quickly, pale in the face, and scurries to the other side. The baby is soothed only momentarily before her wails continue. The woman’s eyes snap open fully this time, panic clear on her features. She tugs fruitlessly on the seat belt, a pained groan leaving her when she moves too quickly.

“Please, don’t move. My name is Leslie. I’m here to help.” She presses a hand to her chest, feeling the woman’s racing heart. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N,” she grits out, her eyes fluttering dangerously. From how she reacted to the lights, she probably has a concussion. Leslie cuts the seat belt, and glass falls onto the blacktop, clinking musically until they settle, like they’re sleeping. Through the gloves, she can feel how warm she is, sweat beading down from her forehead. Glass has settled in the divots of her wool sweater, but not before cutting her skin, caking the pearl necklace peeking from the neckline in blood.

“Y/N, I need you to turn a bit. I need to see where the bleeding is coming from,” Leslie says softly, inching her slowly onto her side. She sighs as more blood pools, gushing down her back and soaking her jumper further. It’s from a rib that broke through the skin. She can only hope that they didn’t puncture an organ.

“Does that hurt?” She asks as she puts pressure on the skin.

“No,” Y/N whimpers, eyes fluttering closed. When they get her on the stretcher, with minimal blood loss, she stirs with life again, her trembling hand reaching onto the sleeve of Leslie’s shirt, painting it red.

“Rhiannon—my baby girl—is she…” She swallows back tears.

“She’s fine.” Leslie knows that it’s unwise to lie to a patient; perhaps, she’s not entirely lying, but it’s never a good idea to give a victim a sure diagnosis without actually knowing anything. There may have been no physical signs of trauma to the baby, but internal problems are a very real possibility that they won’t know of until they get to the hospital.

She knows that she shouldn’t lie. It takes seven minutes to get to the nearest hospital, but it’s time that Y/N may not have; despite how quickly they were able to get her into the ambulance, she’s losing a lot of blood.

“Thank you,” Y/N sighs in relief, clutching onto her hand. Her wedding ring nearly cuts through the gloves from the pressure.

“Of course,” Leslie says, easily putting her on an IV.

“My husband,” she gasps suddenly, her arm jerking about. “Harry—he—he’s gonna be worried. ‘M supposed to call. He has to tell her goodnight—“

“Y/N, relax,” Leslie coos. “We will contact your husband. You need to focus on yourself, yeah? Don’t close your eyes, Y/N.”

Leslie can see the fear in her eyes; it’s something she’s grown very familiar with, but it’s not just fear for her own survival. She can see how scared she is for her family. She struggles to keep her eyes open, resilience and weakness fighting for power. Like any mother, she’s fighting for her family. She’s fighting to be able to hold onto and kiss them one more time.

She is trying so hard to fight for her family.

But at the same time, it’s so easy to give in.

“If I don’t make it,” she slurs, breathing quickly out of her nose. The blood from her nose slips down into her mouth, making her cough.

“Don’t say—”

“If I don’t, I need you to tell Harry that I love him, and that…” She lets out a pained whimper, struggling to catch her breath. “I’m sorry.”

“This wasn’t your fault, love.”

Her lip quivers, teeth chattering.

“I’m just sorry for everything.”

Leslie knows exactly what that means. She’s making amends, apologizing for not being able to fight. A lone tear slips from her eye, but Leslie wipes it away.

“I will.” She promises, gripping her hand tighter.

Only two more minutes.

Y/N gives her a thankful nod, and as if she has finally made peace with the world, she falls limp, the light leaving her eyes.

—

Harry has always enjoyed New York, and it’s not very often that he is able to stay for longer than one night. There is just something about it that’s completely different from London or L.A. that he likes about it; He couldn’t imagine actually living there, with the massive crowds and fluctuating weather, but it’s a nice place to visit, very different from what he’s used to.

He’s halfway through the tour for his most recent album, and New York is the last stop before he gets a short break to go home. He has a show tonight at Madison Square, a radio interview in the morning, and then, he’s home free. He’s been looking forward to this break before the tour even began. Don’t get him wrong, he loves performing and meeting fans and traveling the world, but now that he has a family, it gets more and more difficult not being there for the people who need him most.

“So, I heard,” the interviewer begins, smiling widely.

Sadly, Harry has already forgotten his name. The interview was supposed to be a short little thing for social media, only supposed to take 20 minutes, so he could prepare for the concert that evening, but it’s been nearly an hour, and there are no signs of stopping any time soon. Harry holds off yet another yawn, the lack of sleep from the night before washing over him. He’s having trouble focusing.

“You’ve got a baby girl.”

“Yes,” Harry beams. Even though he wants to keep his baby out of the limelight, he can’t help the excitement that fills his chest whenever she's mentioned. He can easily go on and on about how wonderful and sweet and perfect she is. He tugs on his pearl necklace, biting on his lips to keep quiet. He and Y/N agreed that it would be best for Rhia to grow up as normally as possible, which meant only posting about her on his private social media and avoiding busy places so as to not be seen, but some things were simply unavoidable, like interviewers trying to get him to let something about her slip to get their five-minutes-of-fame. It seems rude of him to completely ignore their questions, so he just sticks to very short, vague answers.

“How are you adjusting to fatherhood?”

“Uh,” he laughs, fiddling with his wedding ring. “It was a struggle to begin with. I will admit that, but it’s getting better. We’re still learning how to adjust to everything.”

He says it like he’s actually there, actively helping Y/N, even though he's on the other side of the world. He hasn’t seen his daughter in nearly two months; video chats have absolutely nothing on the real thing. He isn’t helping Y/N put Rhia to sleep when she’s feeling particularly fussy or feeding her at two in the morning, so Y/N can finally get some well-deserved sleep, and he’s not there to play with her or comfort her.

It feels like he’s lying.

He’s a sad excuse of a father. That’s what he really is.

The thought makes the smile fall from his face, but he’s quick to force another one; if there’s anything that he’s learned after years in the public eye, it’s how to fake emotions. The interviewer gives him an understanding smile. He’s older, but not too old, only having a few years on Harry, age wise, but the wrinkles beside his eyes and the nicked ring on his finger suggest years of familial experience.

“I completely understand. I have three boys of my own, and—”

“I am so sorry,” Jeff, Harry’s savior, says suddenly from behind the camera. “D’ya mind if I borrow Harry for a second?”

The interviewer nods.

“No problem. Take 15?”

Harry feels a twinge of guilt as he stands quickly from the chair, happy to finally have a break.

“Thanks,” Harry sighs, brushing past Jeff to the refreshment table. “‘M exhausted. Maybe it’s ‘cause of Rhi, but every little thing wakes me up. Swore I heard her cryin’ last night.” Jeff is quiet, fiddling with his hands nervously. Harry doesn’t notice how quiet the man has gotten, and he opens a bottle of water, rifling through his bag.

“Isn’t it almost 3? Y/N should be callin’ soon.”

“Harry,” Jeff says again, stronger this time. Harry still doesn’t notice how his voice breaks slightly, wobbly and hesitant.

“Yeah?” Harry drinks nearly half of the water, not sparing a glance up. He fishes for his phone, only to remember that he left it in the car. He sighs and turns. That’s when he finally notices how shaken up Jeff is, pale and nervous.

“What’s up? Look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he laughs, downing the rest of his water before tossing it in the bin.

“Harry,” Jeff says again, soft and somber, and it makes Harry stop. Dread settles in his stomach, deep and heavy. Jeff has never been one to be the bearer of bad news, and he tended to beat around the bush. “Why don’t you sit down?” Jeff tries to guide Harry over to the cheap stool in the corner of the room, but he rips his arm from his grasp.

Harry has never been one to let his mind run wild; he’s the calm one, who looks at reason and logic. He's the one to tell everyone that everything’s going to be fine; he’s the one who takes everything in stride, like water rolling down his back. Bumps in the road are nothing. He’s the one that comes up with solutions and executes them with ease, but with the way Jeff is treating him, his heart races.

“What?”

“There’s been an accident,” Jeff says slowly, placing a comforting hand on his arm.

It takes a second for Harry to process his words, but when he does, he stumbles back.

His mind automatically tries to reason with itself, that maybe it has nothing to do with him. Perhaps, something went wrong at the venue, and they would have to postpone, lengthening his stay for only a couple more days. Maybe, Mitch got food poisoning and will be unable to play that evening. There are dozens of reasonable explanations as to why Jeff pulled him aside, but Harry knows, deep down, that he wouldn’t have such a mournful look in his eyes, if it isn’t anything less than very serious.

Okay, fine, there was an accident. That could mean so many different things. An accident doesn’t even necessarily mean that they are in grave danger; they could be walking away unscathed.

“W-what? I-i-is it Gem? Mum?” Endless scenarios flicker in his mind, each one worse than the last. The one thing that he doesn’t even consider is it being Y/N or Rhiannon. His mind refuses to go down that road; if it did, there’s no way of knowing how he would react. He doesn’t even consider the possibility of them being in trouble. He hates how long Jeff is taking to tell him, as if holding off will soften the blow. Irritation starts bubbling below the surface, and he finds it hard to keep calm.

“Harry,” he says, shaking his head. “Anne called me. There was a drunk driver, and they’re headed to the hospital now—”

“They?”

His heart stops for a second, and it feels like his chest collapses in on itself. His body feels like it’s reacting to a stressful situation, with adrenaline and fear and anger, but Harry isn’t thinking with a grieving mind; it’s cloudy and slow, delusional, even. He shakes his head.

“No,” Harry mutters, taking a step forward. He can feel tears burn in his eyes, and he makes no move to wipe them. “It wasn’t…” Harry can’t finish the question. It makes him nauseous. Jeff nods solemnly, which, in any other circumstance, would have been answer enough. “Say it,” Harry snaps.

It’s unreal, like a dream. This didn’t happen to him, not his family.

They’re safe. There’s just been a mistake. That’s the only reasonable explanation to everything. Someone made a mistake. Maybe a fan thought it would be funny to pretend to be his mum, and they somehow got Jeff’s number. It had to be a horrible, awful, repulsive joke to get some attention or something; as implausible as that seems, it’s the only thought that makes sense to him because he can’t possibly understand the weight of the truth. He doesn’t know if he can handle it.

His girls are fine.

They have to be.

“Harry—” Jeff tries to calm him down, seeing a bright red flush to his skin, frustration seeping through every pore. Anger isn’t becoming of Harry; Jeff has only seen him angry a couple of times, but never to this extent: red in the face, words shaky, eyes glassy.

“I need to hear you say it.”

“It was Y/N and Rhiannon.”

That is the absolute last thing that he wanted to hear.

Even though, deep down, he knew that they were in trouble. From the first moment Jeff said his name to how sickly he looked when he told him to sit down, Harry knew, deep in his heart and mind, that his family is in trouble. He just wasn’t willing to accept it or even think about it, as if that could change reality. Until Jeff said those five words that confirmed his worst nightmare.

And he feels his world come crashing down, but he’s stuck, frozen, mind not moving nearly as fast as it should be.

“My—my…” He stutters, throat closing. “My girls?” The ache in his chest increases tenfold, and he holds onto his, feeling the racing of his heart and his quick breathing. “You’re fuckin’ with me,” he scoffs, rage building. He shakes his head with denial. “What kind of fuckin’ prick—”

“I wouldn’t joke about—”

Harry knows that. Y/N and Jeff are close. Hell, they even considered making him their daughter’s godfather. Jeff would never joke about something this serious, and Harry knows that, but he isn’t willing to accept the reality because the reality is nearly too much for him to comprehend, to carry on his already weak shoulders.

“No, they’re not,” Harry closes his eyes, hands slipping through his hair like it normally does when he’s anxious. He tugs on it, but the pain is nothing compared to the sick feeling in his stomach or the crack in his pounding heart. He honestly feels like he’s going to be ill or pass out, feeling his mouth dry up, his hands clamming up, and he begins to feel light-headed.

“Y/N’s just about to call me. It’s Rhi’s bedtime.” He rambles, not listening to Jeff.

They can’t be going to a hospital. He talked to Y/N just this morning when he couldn’t fall asleep. He spoke about his worries and doubts and guilt that he felt for being so far away from them, and Y/N soothed all of his fears and reservations, reminding him why he does what he does. Before she left, she told him that she loved him, and he could hear Rhi babbling away in the background, content and happy and safe.

“There’s a plane leaving in a half an hour—”

“And I sing to her. That's the only way she’ll sleep through the night. She hasn’t been sleepin’ very well these past few days,” he says, lost in his thoughts. His words begin to slur.

“Harry, listen to me,” Jeff says, holding onto his shoulders, trying to keep him grounded, from falling apart. Harry doesn’t get anxious often, but when he does, everything comes to a startling halt; he’s not used to it, and he lets it overwhelm him until he can’t function. That’s the last thing anyone needs.

“No, no, they’re fine. They’re fine. They’re—” He swallows, and like a wave, realization dawns on him, drowning him. His family is in the hospital, and he’s not there with them. “Oh, god,” he cries, feeling bile burn his throat. He sinks to his knees, hand pitifully covering his mouth to keep from vomiting. His vision darkens. It feels like the walls are crumbling down, and he’s stuck, frozen and alone, with no one coming to save him.

Just like his girls.

“Harry, you can’t shut down, not now,” Jeff says, kneeling beside him. “They need you.”

He knows that. He needs to be strong for the both of them, so he wipes away his tears, clenches his jaw, and pushes everything down, even if it feels like he’s choking. He has to be strong for the both of them.

The drive to the airport is a blur. He swallows back his tears until his head feels like it’s going to burst and holds his breath until he can see black spots in his vision, but most of all, he’s numb. A small part of him is still trying to convince himself that this is all just a big misunderstanding, but the larger part, the part that’s screaming the loudest, tells him he’s being irrational and selfish.

It takes 7 hours to get home; he has to travel across an entire ocean to get to his family.

How unfair is that?

He wants to blame the world, God, fate. He wants to curse whatever force existed, but behind all of the hate and accusations and judgement, he is nothing more than a guilty, broken shell of a man.

He’s angry with himself, mostly, with the choices he’s made, with how selfish and greedy he was, and how inconsiderate his actions have been for the past few months. He can’t believe that he could be so self-centered, taking Y/N for granted. She’s his wife; they’re supposed to be partners, equals, and he treated her like she was disposable while he traveled the world, living out a dying dream.

He wishes he was there, to not only prevent it, but also to tell her just one last time how important she was to him and tell her of the pain that would spread in his chest at the possibility of losing her or their child; he wants so badly to show his love for her. In four days, they would have been celebrating six years together, and in that time, he has never doubted his love for her. He knew, from the moment they met, that she was meant to be with him until the very end. They were soulmates.

Now that he might lose her and his baby, he feels like his soul is being ripped out of his chest, leaving nothing but a gaping, painful void.

Jeff sends him a link to Twitter and a message: Harry, take all the time you need.

The post says: Due to a personal emergency, Harry will not be able to make the show at MSG this evening, and all tour dates from this moment forth will be canceled until further notice. Know that he wishes he could be with you all, and please, respect his privacy in these trying times.

He calls his mother shortly after, but she doesn’t answer. When he tries Gem, she picks up after a few rings, shaky and winded. He sighs, trying to quell the tremors in his hands. His lips quiver.

“What’s goin’ on?”

Gemma explains what happened to the best of her ability, that Y/N just left to go back to the cottage after eating dinner And that Anne received a call from the hospital, after he didn’t answer his phone (that part stung to hear).

“Please—” He begins, but his voice teeters and breaks at the end. He can’t help the tears that slip down his cheeks. Exhausted and weak, he finally cries. He cries for his wife, his child, and himself. They’re not heart-wrenching sobs, where he’s keeled over, grief and anxiety spilling out of every pore, but they leave him breathless, chest aching.

“Please, tell me everythin’s gonna be fine.”

Her silence is answer enough. She can’t promise him anything. It’s too early to tell, and she’s not going to lie to him, either, not when his wife and child’s life is in the balance.

“I don’t know, Harry,” Gemma admits, “but I will call you as soon—”

He hangs up before she can finish.

—

Rain thunders onto the broken concrete, a flash of lightning brightening the dull sky. Despite the rain, the earth nearly brimming with life, the hospital is dead. There’s not a soul going in or out. The lights flicker eerily in the corner of his eye. It’s four in the morning, so it’s not much of a surprise, but the sight of it being so lifeless just feels wrong.

His mind is moving quicker than the world can keep up with, it seems, and he feels like it goes against the laws of nature. It’s a strange feeling when you feel like you’re falling apart, but the world continues on; most people on the street wouldn’t bat an eye or even pay any notice to him as he’s deteriorating before their very eyes.

As irrational as it is, it feels wrong. It feels wrong that everyone else is able to go on while his life is crumbling.

He called Gemma when he landed, and there were still no updates on their condition. He broke dozens of traffic laws to get there, and now, he stands outside the entrance, still wearing his wool jumper from the day before, smelling like an airport, with rain soaking his hair. Droplets slip down his cheek and jaw, livening the dried tears from earlier, and they seep into his mouth; he can taste the salt.

He’s just staring at the flickering sign.

He can’t move.

Well, that’s not really it; he can move, he can feel, and he can see, but he doesn’t want to move.

How fucked up is that?

He doesn’t want to go inside. Despite all of his fears, and his longing for answers, and his need to see his family, he can’t move.

Because that would make everything real.

If he goes inside, if he pushes past those doors and sees the doctors, he can’t deny it anymore. When he goes inside, he has to face the very real possibility that he could lose his wife and daughter. He isn’t sure if he’s strong enough to handle it.

He’s being selfish. He knows that. He should be running inside, yelling at doctors and nurses to tell him what they’re doing about his family. He should be trying to do something, anything to see his wife and daughter.

But why is it so hard to move his feet?

And why does he still feel so numb?

He breathes in the cold air, burning his tender throat.

When he finally opens those doors, past the point of no return, he’s welcomed by a blinding light and the scent of antiseptic. The inside is just as lifeless, with dull white walls that leaves his head throbbing and dingy carpet that scrapes against his boots. He follows the signs, leading to the waiting room.

A new round of tears fills his eyes when he sees his mother’s familiar figure. He hasn’t wanted to just completely collapse into her arms, crying, in years, but now, he just wants to be in the comfort of her presence, to forget the world.

But he can’t, just like Jeff told him, he needs to stay strong, for them. He can’t shut down. He breathes out deeply, raises his head, and calls out for his mother.

Anne turns around, and when he sees Rhiannon pressed tightly to her chest, safe and sound, he feels more of his strength return, like he can breathe a little easier. He feels his knees weaken, but he keeps moving. He doesn’t feel quite so empty and broken and numb, a small ray of hope filling him for the first time in hours. He cups the back of her little head, thumb caressing the soft baby hairs. They’ve gotten thicker since the last time he saw her.

“She’s fine, Harry, just a little shaken up,” Anne says, smiling slightly.

His happiness is short lived when Gemma stands from behind Anne.

“Y/N’s in surgery right now. All we can do is wait,” she says, her eyes ringed with red, mirroring his own.

“Da,” Rhia says, and he smiles, a single tear running down his cheek. He wipes it and sniffles.

Y/N pretended to be upset when that was Rhi’s first word. She said it only hours before he had to leave. They were in their home, and Y/N was helping him lug his suitcases out of the bedroom when he heard it. It sounded like another babble, but it became clearer until—

“Da,” she squealed, bouncing in her little jumper chair. “Dada.” She hit a little plastic toy ring on the tray

“Y/N,” he called out for her and knelt down in front of his baby. She rushed out of the bedroom.

“What? Is something wrong?”

“Say it again, peach, show mummy,” he cooed, and Rhi repeated it, again and again, reaching for her father.

“I carry her around for nine months and feed her out of my tit,” Y/N whined, “and this is the thanks I get?”

They laughed, nevertheless. It was a bittersweet moment, as he looks back on it now. He was so happy that Rhiannon was growing and learning, but she was growing up too fast for his liking. He lifted Rhi up out of the chair and pressed a gentle kiss to her chubby cheek, tears stinging behind his eyes.

“She’s just daddy’s little girl. Aren’t ya, peach?”

She left a slobbery kiss, well, her version of a kiss (which was more tongue than lip) on his nose. He scrunched up his face, and her features pinched together in return, mimicking him.

“See, jus’ a little mini-me you are,” he said, tickling under her chin.

And when she called out to him after saying their final farewells in the airport, it made it even more difficult for him to leave.

Maybe it was a sign that he shouldn’t leave.

He should have listened.

He’s knocked back into the present when his baby girl looks up at him, eyes lit up with innocence, completely unaware of the dire situation they’re in. They’re not in their London home, and Y/N’s not there with him. His lips wobble, nose burning. His chest hurts, whether from unshed tears or from the thought of actually losing the love of his life, he doesn’t know.

He cups his baby girl’s cheek.

Rhia has Y/N’s eyes. He loves her eyes. When she first opened them, as he held her for the first time, bundled tightly in his arms, he cried big, fat tears until they were all dried up. He felt nothing but love for this little human because she was a perfect mixture of him and Y/N. He loves Rhiannon’s eyes, but now, they serve as nothing but a deathly reminder of his wife, who could possibly not survive these next few hours.

She gives him a gummy smile, her little tongue slipping out over her lips. There’s some white peeking through her gums, and his heart aches. He wipes some drool from her chin, and she reaches for him, but he backs away.

His stomach sinks, and he wants the ground to swallow him whole. His mother looks at him softly, not a shred of disappointment apparent on her face, as if she knew he wouldn’t be able to hold his own daughter. His throat closes.

How could he be so weak?

Rhia’s smile drips down, but she lays her head back on her Nana’s shoulder. Anne cups the girl’s head, wrapping the thinly woven blanket tighter around her; sadness and pity present in the air.

“‘M gonna check in with the nurse, see how Y/N’s doin’,” he whispers, backing away, and he stumbles down the hallway, following the signs until he sees the nearest nurse, clad in pale blue scrubs. Even though he’s sure the nurse expects him to look nothing less than distraught, he smooths down his clothes and clears his throat, trying to quell the cries building, lips quivering pitifully.

“Do you have any information on Y/N Styles?” His voice is watery and broken.

The nurse looks at him with sad eyes, warm and understanding, like his mother’s. How does everyone else know what he’s feeling besides himself?

“No, I’m sorry, sir,” she says, and he simply nods. He doesn’t have the energy to be upset or press her anymore. The heaviness on his chest building, he doesn’t even try to stop it anymore. He just wants to wallow, curl up and cry until he’s finally able to wake up from this nightmare. He hates the feeling like he’s just given up, accepted that Y/N may not come back from this.

He wants to fight, but all of the fight he has left him as soon as Jeff told him the news.

“Thank you,” he whispers, heading back to the waiting room. He sits down silently on the chairs next to Gemma, the worn wood squealing from the sudden weight. Anne paces in front of them, rocking Rhia back and forth, like she has been for the past few hours; call it a nervous tick or a mother’s instinct, but holding Rhiannon calms her.

Gemma glances at him in the corner of her eye, unsure of how to comfort him in such a situation. He can see her

“I can’t hold her, Gem,” he says weakly, and she looks at him, finding his gaze held on the small little bundle in their mother’s arms. She sighs. “What if—” There’s a bitter taste on his tongue. He covers his mouth with trembling hands, trying to push back the cries swelling in his chest.

“What if Y/N dies?”

It’s one thing to think about it, but saying it aloud breaks his heart in two.

Y/N has been a constant in his life for six years, and in that time, she became his rock, his shoulder to cry on, his stability, who held his heart so close to her. Then, he thinks about his baby girl, who has had her mother for barely seven months, just to have her ripped away so easily because of some drunk who didn’t know when to quit, and he thinks he’s going to be sick again.

It takes only one mistake to set off a series of irreversible events.

Exhausted, he doesn’t fight the sob that comes out, his shoulders shaking as more and more. He heaves for breath, curling into himself. Gemma wraps an arm around him, and he cries into her shoulder. He feels useless, sinking further into the endless pit in his mind. He’s never considered the possibility of Y/N never being there with him, holding his hand through the fire, and now that possibility is very real; he can’t face it.

When he’s run himself dry, he finally looks at her with red-rimmed eyes and swollen cheeks.

“If she dies, I dunno if I could even look at her,” he admits. “To see her eyes...” Gemma just listens. She knows that there’s nothing she could ever say to make the situation any better. She holds her brother’s hands tightly. “I should have been here,” he says, nodding softly.

“Harry, there’s nothing you could have done. It’s that prick’s fault, not yours,” she says angrily. She’s trying to keep calm, for everyone’s sake, but it’s difficult when it feels like her family is being torn apart.

“I would’ve been driving,” Harry insists. “I would be the one in there, not her, and they would’ve been safe.”

“You don’t know that,” Gemma argues softly. She’s never seen him like this before, but that’s to be expected in the situation they’re in. He’s normally such an optimistic person, and to hear him degrade himself is almost too much to handle.

“If she does make it—”

“When she makes it,” Gem snaps.

“She’s gonna hate me. I know it.”

“She has never blamed you for anything, not when fans gave her shit, not when paps would follow her, and especially not when you had to leave. There are some things that are simply out of our control, and she understands. She understands that you can’t be there all the time. She understands that this is your job, and your job has made you who you are today. She won’t blame you for this either, so don’t blame yourself.”

“You don’t understand,” he sighs. It’s true. She does not understand what he’s gone through. She doesn’t know what it feels like, but she knows that the damage is already done. There’s no use in looking back and analyzing everything to see what they could have done differently.

“I should’ve been here.”

“If only things were that simple.”

“Harry?” A shallow, unfamiliar voice speaks from behind him, making everyone raise their heads.

Anxiety spikes in his stomach. He wonders how anyone could have recognized him, since there is absolutely no one else in the hospital, and how insensitive they would have to be to come talk to him while he’s in such a state. Anger bubbles within him, his skin turning hot as he turns to face the woman.

The blood on her uniform makes him pause.

“My name is Leslie. I was one of the first people on the scene.”

“Do you know anything?” She shakes her head sadly.

“But I was with your wife in the ambulance. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and…” She coughs, hesitation clear on her features. “And not to give up.”

She probably doesn’t realize how much he needed to hear those words because when he stands and tugs her into a hug, she tenses, hesitantly wrapping her arms around him. Again, like when he saw his baby girl, hope warms him, blanketing and strengthening him.

It’s like Y/N is speaking to him through her.

“Thank you,” he whispers, offering her a weak smile. Just as they part, an older woman rounds the corner. Everyone sits up a little straighter, the air becoming a little tenser, when she gets closer to them.

“She’s resting, now, but she should be up in a few hours,” the doctor smiles.

Harry wants to crumple to the ground as a weight lifts from his chest, and he can finally breathe. He’s run ragged, a broken cry slipping out of his blubbering lips. He tugs Gemma into his arms, who returns the embrace wholeheartedly. Such relief and warmth fills him that he can barely hear the doctor as she continues.

“There was some pretty severe internal bleeding, but we got her stabilized. She also had a couple broken ribs, nothing that time and care won’t heal. After we do some more tests, she should be released in about a week. I can show you to her room, if you’d like?”

“Yes,” Harry cries.

When they reach Y/N’s room, Harry pauses outside and turns to his mother. Her eyes, noticing the confliction in his eyes, are soft and understanding. He never thought about seeing her in such a state until now, but least she’s still with him, his little fighter, just like Rhi.

“Mum, can I, uh…” He nibbles on his lip, holding his arms out.

“Course,” Anne says, moving the baby in his open arms.

“Hi, peach,” he says, smiling. She sleeps contentedly, her features relaxed. His heart twinges as she burrows herself into his chest, and he wraps the blanket a little tighter around her.

“We’ll go to the cottage and get some extra clothes for you all,” Gemma says, knowing that Harry needs this time alone. She tugs her mother, who hesitates but soon follows.

He expected her condition to be poor, but that doesn’t stop the burning in his eyes when he sees her, hooked up to what seems like dozens of machines, her face swollen, and stitches along her hairline; she looks so fragile, so broken, but her heart beat is strong, breathing steady. As if sensing her father’s discomfort, Rhi burrows further in his arms, snuffling lightly.

He settles in a chair next to Y/N’s bed, one hand holding hers while the other arm cradles his baby.

“Gave daddy a scare earlier, peach,” he coos. “Daddy’s sorry that he wasn’t there with ya.”

He promises her many things, that she’s safe, that nothing will ever happen to her, and that her mum is safe, too, but most importantly, he promises to be there for her. He cries silently, careful to keep the tears and painful jolts of his chest from waking Rhi. He just can’t help it. After the dust settles and the smoke is cleared, the gravity of the situation weighs on him: he could have lost the two most important people in his life, and he would not have been there.

A nurse stops by to bring a bassinet for Rhiannon and to check on Y/N, who is doing wonderfully, especially after such an invasive surgery.

Y/N wakes after about an hour, just as the sun peaks beyond the horizon. Harry is still up, of course, watching his girls, finding comfort in the heart monitor. He pushes the bassinet back and forth with his foot.

“H?”

He beams when he hears her voice, gravely and worn, but it’s her voice nonetheless, comforting and warm. He wishes that he could hold her and kiss her until his love heals her wounds, but he has to settle for holding her hand and kissing her forehead for the time being.

“I’m sorry,” she sobs, tears slipping past her swollen eyes. “It happened so fast.”

“What are you sorry for, lovie? You did absolutely nothin’ wrong,” he says, brushing back her hair.

“You had to leave because I wasn’t being careful enough, and I—”

His heart aches, eyes glazing over. He hates that he made her feel like his job was more important than her.

“No, none of that,” he says, shaking his head. “That doesn’t matter. Listen, this was not your fault, and as far as tour goes, it’s not nearly as important as you two. I would drop everythin’ if you needed me to. There is nothin’ that I wouldn’t do for you. You know that, right? You both are my life, now; I made that promise the day we got married and the day she was born. You both are my number one priority, and I haven’t been treating you like it. For that, I’m so sorry.”

“Harry—”

“It was selfish of me to think that I could live in the past and the present, live the life that I used to while trying to be a father and a husband. It wasn’t fair of me, and I am so, so very sorry, babylove.”

He kisses her, careful of her bruises, and she sinks further into the bed, comforted by his warm words and tender touches. Her eyes, fluttering with exhaustion and filled with tears, refuse to close, as if she’s afraid that he’ll be gone by the time she wakes. He runs his thumb along her cheek, mindful of the swollen areas. For the first time in what feels like years, his mind is calm, basking in the feeling of happiness as he’s finally able to feel and see his family, safe and within his reach. That’s all he’s ever wanted, and as he sees her nodding off, he presses a quick kiss to her knuckles, whispering.

“Rest, lovie, I’ll be here. Don’t worry.”

She falls asleep with a faint smile.

Perhaps, fate isn’t cruel as many think. Just like anything, it can be merciful and loving for those who are worth mercy and love.

—

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #ellie writes #ellie writes angst #not my gif #credit to owner

1K notes · View notes

starlit-serenade · 3 years

Text

Tumblr Writer Etiquette

Stuff tumblr fic writers (in my opinion) should keep in mind! Plus a lot of writing bc I ramble a lot. From a fellow Tumblr Writer

ReadMore Lines (and how to do that on Mobile), Gifs as banners/headers--don't steal gifs and using Gif Search, don't use minors' gifs on nsft works.

》 ReadMore Lines

Hey! So you're writing on tumblr.com, and you have a long, beautiful piece that you want to post! That's awesome, it's amazing to share talent with the world. You should totally post it! That being said, some people might not be interested in reading all of it right now.

Maybe there's sensitive content under it that some people may not be comfortable with. Graphic images, talk of triggering content, or graphic smut or graphic violence... it would definitely be better to put those "under the cut" with warnings above. Or maybe it's really long and someone getting recommended it or scrolling through fandom tags doesn't want to read and scroll through all of it.

Solution? ReadMore Lines!

On tumblr mobile, what you can to is put :readmore: on it's own paragraph and press Next/Return/Enter. And you can always move your ReadMore line around.

(Please use it for all long works, anything with graphic sexual or violent stuff, or just anything that might make people uncomfortable. It's actually beneficial to you because more people will appreciate it!)

》 Using Gifs

Many tumblr fanfic writers like to have banners in their fics to show what or who it's about. Which is really cool and awesome. But there are two ways this is usually done.

1. Stealing Gifs - You can download gifs from giffers who worked really hard on their gifs, and use them without letting the giffer know or without giving credit. That sucks, so please don't steal gifs. Don't save gifs and use them. Maybe your intention wasn't to steal, but that's what happened. Use Gif Search Function, it gives credit and tells the giffer.

2. Using the Gif Search function - The Gif Search function is a really great function because it automatically gives credit to the giffer (and a note) and lets the giffer know that you used their gif. The issue with this is that some giffers are not comfortable with their Gifs being used in that way.

I've seen lots of Giffers say that they are not comfortable with their gifs being used in fanfics, especially smut fics. And especially when the giffers are minors. But their gifs keep being used. There are two solutions for that.

a. Ask a giffer beforehand if they're comfortable with you using their gifs in your smut (or other) fanfiction. Sometimes, giffers will have on their blog/nav/about/faq/carrd a place where they say whether or not they're comfortable with their gifs being used that way. If not, just ask. And do not use a minor's gifs on nsft work. Please.

If the giffer says they aren't comfortable with you using their gifs... Don't. Use. Them. Please. It's just human decency.

b. Make your own gifs and banners. Especially if you're one of those people that says "oh, it's not that hard to make a gif," then go make your own. Or you could make a non-gif banner. Or you could ask someone (maybe me 😌 or someone who makes actually aesthetic banners) to make you a banner.

#op #text #writing #fanfic #uhh #lemme tag some groups #oneus #astro #fanfiction #onewe #a.c.e #bts #stray kids

32 notes · View notes

stevesnailbat · 4 years

Text

top of your world | steve harrington

summary: Y/N is pining after Steve, but there’s one problem. He doesn’t even realize that she likes him.

warnings: underage drinking, weed smoking, angst, Steve being a lil clueless

word count: 1.9K

a/n: this is based on pristine by snail mail!!! thank you to @jxnehxpper for the request because this really inspired me, i hope you enjoy! :) the gif is not mine!! credit to this post!

Same shit, different day. Same party, different week.

She felt utterly ridiculous, honestly. Pining after a boy who would never think about her in the same way, it was a horrible feeling. But still, she put herself into the same situation week after week. Still, she came to those stupid parties, drank the stupid drinks, played the stupid drinking games, just to see that stupidly pretty boy she hated to love.

This weekend was no different. She’d made her way to her best friend, Jessica’s house to get ready and sneak a few shots before slipping out the back door. Just like any other Saturday night, she’d put on her best outfit, in hopes of catching Steve Harrington’s eye.

The only reason Steve even knew her name was because of the stupid parties, because they always smoked together on the back porch of Tina’s house. If it wouldn’t have been for him finding her smoking a blunt all alone one night, he never would’ve known her. And really, she halfway wished that he’d never came out there on that one night. She couldn’t stop him from finding her at every party now, she couldn’t cut him off just because of the situation she’d gotten herself into.

Jessica told her over and over again to forget about it, to stop talking to him. She knew her best friend was right and that the crush she had wasn’t gonna amount to anything. She couldn’t even bring herself to do it, honestly; her love for him would never change, she was in too deep. She was drawn in by him and was bound to burn in a heartbroken mess.

All she wanted to do was come clean to him. She dreamed of rambling to him about how she felt only to be cut off with a blushing confession and a deep kiss—but she knew that wouldn’t actually happen.

This night was no different than any other Saturday night. Music roared from the living room of Tina’s house as her and Jessica walked in, she had her hand shoved in her pocket to make sure the blunt hadn’t fallen out. Jessica pulled her towards the kitchen, shoving a red solo cup into her chest with a mischievous smile on her face.

“You gonna seek him out again tonight?” Jessica teased, eyes narrowed in her direction.

“If he wants to, he can come to me.” she repeated with fake confidence, the words were exactly what her friend wanted to hear.

“Good. Don’t chase after him, you know he’d never do the same for you.” her friend warned, bringing her back to the living room.

She let the pink concoction from her red solo slide down her throat with ease, knowing damn well that there were at least three types of cheap liquor in it, but not caring about the repercussions or terrible headache she’d end up with the next morning. The drink was the only thing keeping her afloat as the sea of faces around her began to blur. There was one face that she couldn’t seem to blur, and she really didn’t want to. Sure, she told Jessica that she’d stop herself from going to him first. She was never good at keeping promises about Steve, anyways.

Jessica was distracted with some baseball player when she slipped away, finally growing the courage to find Steve with the help of the booze running through her system. He looked fucking perfect—she kinda hated how she thought of him that way. Nothing could change the way she felt about him, she was just blinded by that charming smile and perfect hair. She was so blinded by it in the moment that she’d almost missed the girl hanging from his arm that was giving her a death glare as she walked up. The girl was pretty; she knew her as Amy, a cheerleader who was exactly what she thought Steve would love in a girlfriend—it made her resent herself a little more. Steve’s eyes lit up when he saw her walking towards him, but she knew it was only because of what was in her pocket.

“You ready?” she asked, mustering up a drunken smile while waving her lighter between her fingers.

Steve nodded and grinned in her direction, telling Amy that he’d be back. The girl still glared at Y/N as they walked away, but she knew that Steve would choose her over him again after he got what he wanted. The two of them sat down on the rocking chairs on Tina’s back porch, just like they did every weekend.

“Is that your new girl?” she teased, hiding the jealousy she was feeling behind a fake smile as she lit the blunt.

“Amy? No, definitely not. She’s just—Well, I don’t know? She’s just a friend.” he said casually, letting his chair rock a bit as he let out a laugh. “She definitely thinks there’s something, but I’ve told her that I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” she questioned, passing him the blunt.

“Can’t date her.” he said simply after inhaling, a slightly struggled look passing over his face.

“Not your type?” she asked, eyebrows quirked you curiously.

“No, I mean, maybe? I don’t really know why, I just couldn’t date her.” he said, another chuckle escaping his lips to hide his own nervousness.

“Well, what is the King Steve’s type?” Y/N implored, sound a little too excited with her words. “What’s the type of girl that you’d give anything to be with?”

“I don’t really know, honestly.” Steve replied bluntly, shrugging at the thought. “King Steve isn’t around anymore, so it doesn’t even matter. What’s yours?”

“I asked you first, Steve.” she said, but he only rolled his eyes in response.

“And I told you, I don’t know. Gotta think about if for a minute.” he sighed, handing the blunt back to her. “Tell me yours.”

“People I can’t have.” Y/N said quickly as the weed and alcohol clouded her thoughts, taking a puff off the blunt to cut herself off momentarily. “People who I know won’t love me, even if I won’t love anyone else but them.”

“That sounds specific.” he says, eyes narrowed in her direction as he smiled at her. “Can I know who it is?”

“You know him a little too well for me to admit that. It’s my secret.” she quipped, rolling her eyes at his amusement. “Now you need to tell me your type.”

“Well, I’m really not sure, like I said.” he started, but the incredulous look on her face made him press on. “I guess my type isn’t what people think it is. I don’t like girls like Amy, like everyone thinks. I want someone who will make me laugh and is there to do things like this with me. Like what we’re doing right now, just someone who will enjoy stupid moments like this with me.”

Her heart was beating out of her chest at this point. She felt terrified, she knew he wouldn’t love her, he couldn’t. He damn near just friend-zoned her without actually saying it. She had come to terms with the fact that he only wanted to be her friend and would find someone better, but she’d still love him.

She was staring into the darkness beyond the porch as he spoke, she didn’t even realize that a tear had formed in her eyes. It only took Steve grabbing the blunt from her hands for her to come to her senses, for her to come back down to Earth. Steve was so clueless in the moment, he didn’t even notice that she had shed a tear.

“Yeah, it’d be nice to have someone like that.” she said softly, chewing on the inside of her cheek to gain some composure. “I hope you can find someone to do that with.”

“Yeah, me too.” he said, looking over at her to see the broken look in her eyes as he tossed the last of the roach.

“I’m gonna go find Jess.” she said abruptly, clearing her throat while standing up from the rocking chair.

Steve watched with wide eyes as she walked away, finally noticing how sad she had been for most of the conversation. Y/N could feel her heart growing heavy in her chest, her throat feeling like it was closing up as she walked towards the back door. Before she reached her friend, she had wiped her tears away and had replaced her frown with the same fake smile from earlier. She grabbed another red solo cup of the pink liquid, wanting to forget that the conversation had even happened.

It wasn’t until almost two hours later that Steve finally realized what he’d done. He had gone back to hanging with Amy and her friends, who were annoying the shit out of him. All he could think about was how he wanted to be talking to Y/N again, she was a lot more interesting than the boring douchebags Amy hung out with. He replayed their conversation in his head, the high completely worn off as he ran through it.

At first, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, what he’d done. But, he knew he’d done something to make her sad. Once he thought about explaining his type to her, he nearly dropped the cup in his hand. At the same time, he spotted her from across the room, a glint of sadness in her drunken gaze. A rush of adrenaline went through Steve’s body as he pushed through the crowd, determined to talk to her.

“Y/N. Hey, can I talk to you?” he asked urgently, his hand on her shoulder as he came up to her from behind.

“What about?” she said while giving him a drunken smile, rolling her eyes at him momentarily. “You gonna tell me about your type again?”

“Well—Not necessarily. But I want to talk to you about what I said earlier.” he said, making her smile fall quickly. “Can we talk outside?”

“You can tell me right here. Nobody can hear us anyways.” she said stubbornly, taking another sip of of the pink concoction.

“I’m sorry about what I said, okay?” he started, leaning over her shoulder so she could hear him. “I fucked up, I know. I didn’t mean it like—“

“You didn’t mean you’d love someone like me? In the way that I love you?” she implored, a bitter laugh escaping her lips as she felt a weight releasing from her chest. “Wow, it kinda feels nice to get that out.”

“No, I didn’t mean to say that you would only ever be a friend—I don’t know! I didn’t think I liked you until I started thinking about it and I think I really do! I‘m sorry, I would change what I said if I—“

Steve’s ramble was cut short when she wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled his chest flush against hers, gripping his hair to pull him down into a kiss. It was the last thing he was expecting in the moment, but it gave him a feeling of relief to feel her lips against his.

“It feels nice to come clean, doesn’t it?” she giggled after pulling away from the kiss. “I could’ve picked anyone else to love, but I still picked you, even after you said that stuff. I’m not changing the way I feel, Steve.”

The smile on her face was genuine this time and Steve could tell. He only nodded and hummed in satisfaction, pulling her back into another kiss as they forgot about the party around them for a moment.

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @charmed-asylum @lemonypink @queenofthehairharrington @daddystevee @heart-eye-harrington @a-magey @igotmadskills

156 notes · View notes

sunshinexlollipops · 3 years

Note

I'm NGL...I'm interested in your Twilight rambles. Especially since you weren't sober while watching the saga...honestly the only way you can watch it.

hello, anon.

ironically enough, you're one of a few others who have asked me for my twilight takes. I've ruminated on my takeaways for a good bit, and I've decided this is how I'm gonna go about my thoughts.

so firstly, this is gonna be a long post (hence the "read more" option). I wanna hit it all in one post that I can condense so that I'm not flooding everyone's dashes for this little venture, lol. so for anyone not interested, this should be rather easy for you to pass on!

but for everyone else, here's the post!

so I decided to break this up in a few ways just to gather my thoughts and critiques up the best.

I'd also like to start with a few disclaimers just so we can get this show on the road:

these views are my own. you can still enjoy the saga in your own ways, even while being critical of it. (bc let's be real, there's some red flags lol.) you shouldn't feel like you're being canceled by me if you enjoy the media in whatever ways. this isn't meant to be taken to those levels.

I may mention the books a little, but it's been YEARS since I read them, so I am mostly critiquing the movies (but I will critique Stephanie as a writer/creator).

I understand twilight is fiction, but there are some real problems in the series that can affect people in real life, so reader discretion is advised, and TW's will be put before I bring up 2 topics in this post.

alrighty, so. I watched the twilight saga while on da 🍃 lmao. not all at once, but never done while sober. if you wanna know what I used in particular, I have a delta 8 tincture that's basically just an oil. very nice and legal, and is what made all of this possible. 110/10 recommend bc it made things bearable. 💛

but alas, we have a post to make! so here we go...

Pros

yes. twilight does have *some* pros to the saga. you may be amazed as to how this could be in some ways but credit is due where credit is due...

twilight (1st film) is the perfect kind of 2008 camp. I want it in a time capsule bc it's the epitome of that the mid-late 2000's were like and it honestly is comforting in some ways. while cliche and trite, I hold this particular film in a sentimental box and I offer some respect.

also deserves her own mention: the blue filter that gave the entire first film its look 💙

the soundtracks had NO BUSINESS being as good as they were. every single film had amazing soundtracks and the music was never improperly timed or used. if anything, they made scenes ✨iconic.✨ looking at you super massive black hole...

Charlie (self-explanatory)

the one particular scene in New Moon in which Jacob fights one of his pack members after Bella (dumbly) slaps him. they go to fight and tumble in their throes towards the woods, knocking the "camera" down as they go. not sure why they decided to do that, but tbh the shot was pretty cool so I'll give it to em.

Michael Sheen being horny for everyone the entire time

me being horny for Lee Pace the entire time

Emmet was turned in Gatlinburg, TN and that place was my childhood so I will give them a point for it (also because I died over the fact that he was mauled by a bear Lmaooooo)

the places where the films are filmed and the sets that were made were always on point in terms of aesthetic

while absolutely horrendous in design and a undeniable failure since it was cut from the films, the animatronic "Chuckésmee" doll lives in my mind rent free as her silicone melts in Washington

the Cullen's house is where I wanna love eventually in terms of aesthetic.

Robert Pattinson

it taught me what red flags are in men 💛

alrighty, so with our pros out of the way...

here they are...

Cons

obviously, this list is gonna be WAYYY longer, but also, is only gonna touch on my general displeasures. I am gonna be getting very specific when it comes to the characters and what happened with them in the series, later.

the Cullen's coveted secret was found out by a horny teenager girl and google

the same formula was used for Jacob's tribe secret

the fact that the Native Americans were used for the werewolf plotline but no actual culture or substance is given to them otherwise

(also would've been nice if Steph had reached out to the actual Quileute tribe she used for her book to ask them how they could be represented and if making them werewolves was insensitive or not, just sayin.)

the main character driving a nice Volvo is not hot asf. idc if this book was written in '05, we had WAY better cars to feel impressed by. cause it was almost as bad as putting Edward in a fecken Nissan Altima.

"say it, out loud......."

"...............suburbanite."

how Edward went from "omfg I gotta drink dis bitch like hose water" to "no thanks, I believe in the lord" when it came to Bella's blood... how did he get over it so fucking quick?????

while Carlisle is a likeable enough character and one of the better vampires, his way of only turning dying people questionable when he's a doc. I mean this in the sense of what makes someone eligible to him to give the bite. it makes you wonder how many people he has had die on him over the years that just... weren't worth it. and if it's over a "he didn't want to create a new vampire and causes waves" he legit let Bella into the fold so easily. so what's held him back?

also Carlisle.... why ya whole family white? WAIT. ONE WAS A CONFEDERATE SOLDIER TOO HOLD UP—

it's very sad that we didn't really see many other outer cultures or races of vampires beside white vamps (before Breaking Dawn). sure there was Laurent, but he was so brief and died as early on as NM. I hate how his character was wasted bc he was interesting asf.

not James looking like he's straight to hunting after getting that Abercrombie & Fitch fit 😶

every POC vampire pulled into the "save Renesmée" plot, aside from the Egyptian clan, look as though they were based solely off of racist Halloween costumes and ignorance. they're depicted as being entirely removed from and obtuse to modernized society, which is unusual considering they feed of humans and would have exposure to it. it's also sad to see them all shown as nearly feral-vampires that just live in the wilds, while these other ancient white vamps get mansions and luxury cars. the POC vamps can still retain culture and traditionalism without making them out like the caveman in old Geico commercials.

the overall story took place in about 2 years and some change. not sorry, but that is NOT enough time to allow Bella to chose anything. especially with how she literally was trying to screw another guy for like, more than half that time.

Stephanie Meyer can't write women to be friends. she very much so has a women vs. women mentality. (I'll explain in greater detail w some of the characters.)

everyone just accepts whatever outlandish story Edward and his family comes up with when Bella disappears and gets severely injured. like ah, it's okay, everyone runs off to Italy or falls down some stairs and through a window at some point! 🤷‍♀️

extra con SPECIFICALLY bc they blame her being clumsy and everyone is like YA YOU DO BUMP INTO THINGS, BELLA 😅

making Bella immediately perfect when she becomes a vampire.

extra con because she also apparently has impeccable control over her thirst, and is still allowed to see her father/mom after being changed. she should've had the repercussion and never seeing them again while they're alive bc of being a newborn w no control

bc of this too it gives and extra-extra read all about it con bc all of the arguments made against turning Bella into a vampire were pointless in the sense that Bella is apparently a magical vampire savant. and that's on being a gatekeeping girlboss 😳

every motherfucker here is toxic ASF. I'm team no-one. all y'all need therapy and jail

especially YOU

also you in terms of therapy plz ma'am 🥺

where is Bella's truck—

a specific con for when Bella went to the wildflower field *in winter* during NM and goes into a mental spiral bc the flowers are dead like BOO IT'S CALLED SEASONS WTF

"it's uh...the florescents..."

alrighty, but let's get to the actual grit of the story... the characters.

I have some specific beef w some of these people, so buckle up.

Characters

Renée

Renée was not ready or suited to be a mom.

I say this specifically because, while being youthful isn't wrong per se, Renée has a very toxic version of "I'll grow up when I feel like it."

this woman pretty much uproots Bella's life entirely when she decides to go into travelling for her husband's baseball career. note how Renée is never really given an occupation of her own, and so instead of using her availability to contort to Bella's needs (school, transportation, etc), she decides to try and become a trophy wife to a up-and-coming baseball player instead.

genuinely, if Charlie hadn't been able to take Bella, I'm not sure what would've happened. maybe Bella would've been put into some residency school, or she would've been given to another relative... but the entire reason "twilight" even happened was because of Renée dumping her daughter on her ex-husband's doorstep to chase after her own fulfillment and happiness.

while she calls in on Bella, she treats her daughter's life like gossip. she has more scenes being in Bella's business about Edward than anything else. otherwise, her mom is pretty much just wrapped up in her life with her new husband, and she only comes to visit Bella when she's hospitalized in Twilight, and when she married Edward. otherwise she only calls.

while I don't care about it in a prude's way, they even went as far as having Renée notably wear a thong when Bella and Edward come to visit her in BD1. you could say this was the actress's choice, but it's very noticable and distinct to the point of being noticeable during production, so I'm gonna count it towards her character since it was blatantly left in.

especially since this is supposed to be the last time she sees her mom as a human, and you get to see Renée's red number above her jeans?

it just ruins any sentimental value the scene could've had. especially when you know that Edward could see this through the window of the other room. ffs.

but that's kind of the vibe Renée gives. like a girl who peaked in high school and just can't realize she isn't the only one in the room anymore.

she's the reason moms sell their kids to one direction for caprisuns on Wattpad.

Leah

this isn't to critique Leah as a character, but rather how she was portrayed and wasted by Stephanie and the directors.

firstly, in the movies there is NO mention about how Leah is the only female werewolf ever heard of. seriously! it's in the books, and even in the novels, Leah's stance as what seems like an impossible outlier is never truly addressed or realized. it's as though she's the human personification of the world's largest rubber band ball, with how she's written off.

I would've loved to see MORE on why Leah came to be. was there a reason why it didn't matter for her, or just happenstance? why is it ONLY males that become wolves? does that mean other women can become wolves, or will it only ever be Leah?

these questions were never asked by Steph, and so we won't ever get answers. just a waste of something special, honestly.

but secondly, more than anything... I intentioned before that Steph has a problem with women being friends. Leah is one good example to that.

while werewolves are supposedly driven by the anger (*sigh*), Leah is very unwelcoming and cold to Bella for NO reason. if anything, it's portrayed as a jealousy-driven rejection, and I hate how girls are created specifically to go after Bella for supposedly getting on their "terf" of boys.

this also extends to Leah's bitterness over Sam leaving her for his mate. while I understand Steph may have needed an example of "your mate can be anyone, doesn't matter who you love if they're not you're mate," but she specifically hurt Leah in this way and ONLY defines her through her bitter and loneliness. she doesn't even get any other notable dialogues apart from her talking about being heartbroken and betrayed by Sam.

additionally, her father died for pretty much no reason, and ofc it was while he was trying to keep Bella safe from Victoria in NM. it's just needless pain, bro. (also it hurt Charlie, so I'm anger.)

I'm still so disappointed with how Leah's story was treated. she could've been a gem.

Rosalie

like Leah, a lot of my complaints with Rosalie are more so of what she was put through and then how she was used in the story, but there is a little more critique to her character in a specific way.

by this, I mean that Rosalie... doesn't make sense.

heads up— TW!

so, as we know, Rosalie's cause of turning was a horrific SA that would've killed her had she not been bitten. she was r*ped and attacked by multiple men, multiple times.

she understandably holds resentment and hatred in her heart over the events, especially at how she blames them for costing her the goals she can no longer achieve because she became a vampire (honestly idk why she doesn't resent Carlisle for biting her...).

specifically her goals were to grow old with her husband, but also, to have kids, which expresses itself as a problem later on... overall, her story was heartbreaking.

I don't have an issue with giving a character trauma such as this, however, there is a key thing to note.

when giving characters trauma, you have to be realistic and respectful with these events. they are not just plot devices or characterizations. they are not superficial issues you can pick up when convenient and drop when they no longer are.

I am LIVID with how Rosalie's story was used in the saga.

she is portrayed as this jealous, hateful bitch to Bella. in fact, it's a running joke that Rosalie is just a bitch, and there's even a deleted scene in which Jacob throws a dog bowl at her from Breaking Dawn. she is very much so framed into a light of "she's a c*nt.*

she's also actively framed into being Bella's biggest hurdle with the Cullen family, and her desire to become a vampiric member of their clan. she is the only person to say no when they hold a vote over turning Bella in New Moon, and states: "I wish I had someone to say no for me."

Rosalie was also given dialogue in which she refused to or questioned helping Bella when she was being hunted by other vampires. this definitely ties into Steph's "wen can't be friends" mentality, but there's another reason as to why I bring this up...

as I mentioned, Rosalie has her tragic past, and it is revealed to us when Rosalie believes she needs to convince Bella she is making the wrong choice, and that she needs to preserve her humanity and to choose her well-being over what seems to be a momentary desire.

I fully understand why Rosalie would want to say that, but her trauma was given to her specifically as a guilt/manipulation tool by Steph. there is no healing for Rosalie. there's no growth. there's no trace of it outside their conversation. that's one reason it's so enraging: what Rosalie went through only mattered when she was trying to stop Bella.

it just made the tragedy of how she became a vampire practically null and void, in terms of relavance.

also, her concern for Bella also became null and void come Breaking Dawn.

it became very backwards of her when she was informed of Bella's pregnancy. notice how Rosalie is the ONLY ONE in the house who was accepting and encouraging of Bella's pregnancy. not even ALICE was about it, and Carlisle made it clear Bella was dying.

Rosalie only fought for Bella when Bella was pregnant. this was so that Rosalie could vicariously love her fantasy of motherhood through Bella.

so you mean to tell me that she wants Bella to preserve her humanity and to also realize she's giving so much up that she can never get back... and that Rosalie also went through a horribly traumatic event that changed her life forever (literally) and made her hate Bella through jealousy... but she doesn't quite care as long as Bella pops that baby out before she croaks?

it's ugly, it's demeaning, and it's just downright sad. Rosalie could've been a lot different had she been given the room to address and cope with her trauma properly, and she wasn't turned pro-life only when it suited her...

additionally, she gets another negative from me because she told Edward about Alice's cliff jump vision concerning Bella, despite knowing no information over it. that was idiotic on her part, because she had no idea what Alice found and she should've just left it to lie until Alice could confirm what happened. so, like someone else I'm gonna mention on this list, she's part of why the Volturi demand Bella be changed. so yes... sorry Rosie, ya kinda fucked up on your own mission.

also I feel like she would've voted for Trump, oops.

Jasper

he was a Confederate soldier.

Edward

this... this boy.

listen, I honestly like Edward in some ways. I don't mean he's my fave. this boy needs work. but out of all of them, Edward is admittedly the best. but don't think that's also a feat. the bar is very low here.

firstly, I would say my biggest issue with Edward is just... this boy needs antidepressants. lord. eat someone with a Zoloft prescription, idk.

Edward is stuck in this weird state of "I wanna die, but this girl makes my dick too hard for me to." fr. this guy hates his life and yet he wants to live forever with Bella at the same time? I don't get it.

also, boundaries. this man doesn't have them. he doesn't know what they are. which makes sense because he was dying of the Spanish flu and I KNOW this boy didn't social distance or wash his hands... time period doesn't matter, I just know he was nasty and probably didn't wash his ass cheeks ever...

I don't understand how he can simultaneously be like "I wanna bite Bella" to "I gotta watch this bitch sleep" and "I'm gonna sit h her after I break up with her in the woods." it's like he's so obsessed with Bella one moment, and then he hates her the next. one moment he's watching her sleep and disabling her truck so she can't see Jacob, and the next he's killing himself in Italy... men.

that all being said, apart from his juxtaposing outlook on his existence, I just don't really find Edward personally interesting. everything that you could say about Edward being interesting or desirable is literally down to his vampirism. beauty, wealth, mind-reading, appeal, power, abilities, etc.

without being a vampire, Edward has no substance to him aside from being depressed and into celibacy. my man's was literally abstinent WHILE IMMORTAL BRO. no-nut-for-ever challenge guys?

still, that being said, I wish Edward would've fought against his instincts and left Bella alone. he literally changed this girl's life for FOREVER over knowing her for about 2 years or so.

she was 16-17 when she met Edward. she was a kid, for one, but she isn't emotionally capable of thinking things like this through. you're gonna be impulsive and selfish at that age, bc you can't quite wrap your head around things such as this.

if Edward showed more control and concern for Bella (aside from just making sure she wasn't hurt/dead), and he actually stuck to his guns about not turning or marrying Bella, I would root for him more. but he can't control himself, and in turn, caused a LOT of problems.

still, he had more self-control than Bella or Jacob, so kudos bro. I mean, he legit let them kiss in front of him, EVEN WHEN HE WAS ENGAGED TO BELLA. and he never held any true resentment to Jacob trying to steal his girl, aside from when he kisses Bella without her consent.

he did always let Bella know he didn't have to be her choice, I'll give him that, too.

but more than anything we're so lucky Rob played him...

Jacob

this little bastard.

I heavily dislike Jacob. no, I'm not team Edward. no, it's not because I prefer vampires. (I prefer werewolves but I am a monster-f*cker at heart, so it's like going to Kroger and shopping for me okay—)

I dislike Jacob because of very specific reasons. and overall, Jacob is a horrible character.

I'll first start w his flaws and then the flaws done to him as a character by Steph.

firstly, Jacob is toxic ASF. the only reason Bella and the audience liked Jacob was for the fact he's hot to them (and maybe some get off on the fact he's a werewolf). but take away his wolf form and 6 pack, and what are you really left with?

I would've loved to see Twilight Jacob continue through the series. he seemed sweet, humorous, and just down to earth and enjoyable. the first Jacob Black we see is the best Jacob Black, and unfortunately, he's nowhere to be found come New Moon.

I get that werewolves apparently have anger management issues, but does that really give Jacob the right to be the dick that he is? I say this because Jacob is unnecessarily aggressive, or just overall an asshole to even Bella when he doesn't get his way.

he's childish, immature, and is honestly the type of person who puts you in therapy because of what they do to you. and you may bring up that he's 16 come NM, but that's why losing how he was originally is that much worse. the first Jacob Black we see would probably hate what he's become in NM and then on. I mean, he threatens to Kermit if Bella doesn't get with him... that's low ASF.

one of my biggest pet peeves is how Jacob blames Edward for what happens to Bella, but in reality, it's his fault.

as I mentioned with Rosalie, in NM, when Alice comes to investigate her visions over Bella jumping off a cliff, when Edward rings the Swan residence, Jacob fucks up.

while Jacob wasn't lying about Charlie dealing with funeral arrangements (as our good boy Harry Clearwater died bc of Victoria giving him cardiac arrest), he refused to give Bella the phone when Edward called, meaning that Edward got the stark impression that Bella died.

because of this, the whole mess in Italy with the Volturi happens, and this is the main reason Bella is set to become a vampire (pregnancy aside). so Jacob can rage at Edward the Bloodsucker all he wants— his little asshole moment led to the Volturi know about Bella and set her fate then.

Jacob is just so pointlessly possessive over Bella, and also acts like her being with him is the only way she can stay human. which, is fucking absurd. Bella could date a rando guy who works at Subway and could still achieve the same goal. :/

still, he resents Bella burning turned into a vampire, and this 16yr old is trying so hard to convince this 18yr old that he has what she needs and he can give her the perfect life when he hasn't even graduated high school yet. fucking oof.

his posturing, attitude, and disrespect for Bella's choices are obvious. while I have my reservations about Bella, Jacob NEVER respected her choosing to be with Edward, and as a result, that she wanted to be a vampire too. it was personal to him, which is stupid, because it has nothing to do with him whatsoever. he can say there's a treaty all he wants, in the end, it isn't up to him.

he reacts far too impulsively and without sense, too. defying Sam and not even really trying to become an alpha despite it being implied by himself and others that he should do so? being in his feels and transforming into a wolf to cry about Bella, and nearly causing an accident where 2 humans see him? this boy dumb.

but more than anything... MORE THAN FUCKING ANYTHING—

you know what I'm about to say. you've read the books. you've seen the films. you know his biggest sin.

what is so bad it's worth another TW.

this man...

A CHILD.

A NEWBORN.

there isn't an English language that can properly describe the immense, negative emotion I've always felt for this fucking guy wanting to bang a fucking baby!

thing is, I think I know why it happened, and I'm not sure if it makes the whole thing worse or not.

so, my guess for this horrific pairing to have happened goes to a few key things:

despite teasing Jacob as competition to Edward, we all knew Bella was never going to choose him— this is why Bella isn't his mate to begin with. and so, Steph had to come up with someone "worthy" of being Jacob's love interest/mate.

Steph needed a good enough reason for the wolf pack not to kill Renesmée.

notice how the "we can't kill a wolf's mate" law ONLY becomes a thing once Jacob has imprinted on the infant and the pack comes to kill her. not even when Leah was out through the ringer over Sam was it mentioned that wolves cannot kill another's mate.

but what pisses me off most?

why is it that not killing another wolf's mate is their FIRST law, and per the film itself: means it's the most important law they cannot break?

kinda funny that ya say that, because when has a wolf's mate ever been something the pack has wanted to kill before now? that's so oddly specific...

because you would think a first and most unbreakable rule would be something akin to "don't let humans know about us," or "you cannot kill anything other than a vampire that kills humans." 🤔

this was obviously all a rouse to give Renesmée protection from the wolf pack that wants her dead, while also conveniently giving a "reason" for Bella's attraction to Jacob.

that's dumb for one main reason: Jacob getting with Bella would have prevented Renesmée from being born.

additionally, by that logic... he would've been attracted to his first kid with Bella. 😬

so yeah, I call bullshit.

so this disgusting shit happened for a plot hole Steph didn't know how to fix otherwise. and quite frankly, I wish she just would've left it open.

also, as for Jacob, there really is nothing more to him. his biggest impact was to make Bella an even hotter piece of meat on the market, and to give Steph a reason to not let the werewolves kill Bella and Edward's monster baby.

please get him into dog training as soon as possible. 💛

Bella

ah. Bella.

this... this is what I've been waiting for the most. THIS BITCH.

while part of her fault is really just poor writing, I genuinely don't like Bella as a character, and quite frankly, she deserves the worst our of everyone in the films. lemme explain.

while Renée isn't her fault, Bella is the worst person out of all the characters.

not only is she a poorly fledged out character, she makes me want to ram my head into a wall with our disastrous this girl is.

but first, I'mma tell you where Steph fucked up with her character design:

being clumsy isn't a personality

being clumsy isn't the only trait a character can have

being clumsy isn't something you can use to write off her being turned into a lunchable in a ballet studio or whatever else happens to this bitch

the only thing I like about Bella is her truck, really

who dressed her and why did they decide only to give her tasteful clothes once she became a vampire? like this bitch went from Plato's closet to Gucci, my guy 😑

being from Arizona is not a personality trait

saying she hates "any wet, slimy thing" and the weather of forks isn't cute when you say she loves the sun so much bc she would either burn to a crisp or would somehow accidentally eat sunscreen bc she's clumsy 🤪

she is perfect immediately after the bite and Steph was really like "she was made to be a vampire bc now she isn't clumsy and look she perfect" I think not bestie

what were her aspirations? her hobbies? what did she like to do aside from think about Edward or run after boys? what about her isn't just loving Edward and running after boys??? who IS SHE!?

a small potted cactus is not a personality trait

that cactus probably died, fuck

this was low-key Steph's personalized self-insert story and I'm scared

if Kristen Stewart didn't play Bella, what would she even have to offer to anyone?

she was made into an underage high schooler for this love story akxnakxnjsnd

how did she pass high school during all this ON GOD

it is impossible for other women to like her unless they aren't competition (her mom, Esmé, Alice, Angela. that's literally it.)

designed to be the boy toy but really WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT HER!?

so aside from stark design flaws that get us on a bad foot...

I want to address how Bella acts.

I personally HATE how Bella acts. minus the less than stellar acting (I do understand that Kristen was given poor instructions for Bella), how Bella goes about her life and its situations is enough for me to rip my hair out.

I understand she's 16 when we first see her but oh my god? Bella is just a melting pot of issues.

obtuse yet fucking on point. she doesn't know what Jacob is at first but then BANG BOOM EPIPHANY SHE FIGURES IT OUT THROUGH INTERPRETIVE MENTAL DANCE AND GOOGLE. she will go "what" one second and then knows what skeleton is in your closet the next.

pretends to be selfless but is entirely selfish. I cannot think of one thing Bella does, even for other people, that isn't personally motivated. seriously. having Renesmée despite it killing her and making Edward upset? it's because she wanted their baby no matter what. she hangs out with Jacob and gets really close to him? it's all because he offers a distraction from Edward. it all boils down to what she wants.

she doesn't give a shit about her friends. while some are less than stellar, her high school friends from Forks are legit ornaments in her life. they are honestly not close at all, and there's not enough scenes in the movie to show a good bind between Bella and her friends. in fact, EVERY SCENE with her friends is infiltrated by Edward or Jacob in some fucking way.

in particular, I wanna mention 2 specific moments this happened: 1) Bella invites herself to dress shop with Jessica and Angela, but only does so to get the opportunity to ditch them and go to the library to get a book she thinks will give her answers about Edward. 2) when Mike asks Bella out on a date in NM, Bella accepts and then PURPOSEFULLY invites everyone else and Jacob to it. despite them cancelling (with Angela and Eric dealing with a stomach bug and then Jessica just not even bothering to show up), Mike tries to stick the movie out with Bella despite Jacob being a dick to him. then, Mike gets horrifically sick at some point during the film, and disappears to thr*w up. it's not easy to say how long he was gone, but going by the audio, the movie had started, so I'm guessing this happened maybe halfway through or so. this means Mike was thr*wing up in the bathroom for 30min or more and BELLA NEVER CHECKED ON HIM. she stayed and watched the movie with Jacob and then just has a whole scene with Jacob about how she's broken and she can't be the same after Edward, boohoo. poor Mike shows up sick as hell and when Jacob SNAPS on him (yes, wolf incoming I know), Bella only really shows concern for Jacob during that moment. so yeah, fuck you, Mike!

Bella didn't care about Charlie. as much as she pretends to be concerned about her dad, Bella constantly destroyed and hurt her father by her actions. I get some of it was purposeful to get her dad away from her, but I agree with Edward in the fact that she didn't have to go that far to leave. she harmed her dad for no fucking reason, all the time. all Charlie ever did was TRY for Bella. he got her a car, he asks her how she's doing, asks her if she wants to spend more time with him, asks her what he can do to fix things... I HATE how Bella treated Charlie. and she goes off and hurts him more when she's pregnant with Renesmée and after she's bitten. I'm happy, for Charlie, that Bella was able to control her thirst as she was, but I've mentioned this was too much, and shouldn't have been a thing. everyone said it was going to be. and if Bella wasn't just magically amazing at being a vamp, then Charlie NEVER would've seen her again. but hey, doesn't matter bc you're horny for vampirism and Edward, right?

as mentioned above, I hate how Bella has practically NO consequences for her actions. any of them. she doesn't really injure herself when being reckless in NM. her friends never cut her off for her behavior and pretty much just treating them like background noise all the time. the Volturi and Bella trying to one up them as a human when trying to protect Edward. Bella's pregnancy. Bella's vampirism. so much that should've gone wrong or should've had lasting problems for her, and nothing! NOTHING! fucking club penguin held me more accountable than Steph did this bitch!

her trying to get with Jacob. oh my god. OH MY GOD. I don't care about Renesmée having a connection— I already explained that Bella getting with Jacob would actively go against this as well as possibly making their first child Jacob's mate. like BRO. any hoot, my biggest beef is that this girl needs to make up her damn mind. and her reasons for even seeking after Jacob were so fucking selfish, too. she legit got this boy to fall so deeply in love with her just to be hot and cold when we know she ain't ever gonna choose him. Jacob was an emotional Aleve for Edward and nothing more. but to see her be so up in his shit was annoying and just made her less likeable. this isn't soft or hard taco shells, you cannot have both tf.

this deserves it's own notation: Bella kissing Jacob DESPITE Jacob just finding out she's engaged to Edward

the fact that Bella is so desperate for Edward to bite her bc at 17 she thinks she has to be bitten RIGHT NOW or she's gonna instantly turn 70 and has to deal with hip pains as Edward wrecks the badussy

ONCE AGAIN BELLA GOING TO THE WILDFLOWER CLEARING IN WINTER AND BEING UPSET THE FLOWERS ARE DEAD ITS FUCKING WINTER NOT YOUR EX—

either indirectly or purposefully puts herself in harm's way ALL THE FECKEN TIME like I need her in Nerf armor or something idfk anymore. she literally always on the verge of being killed.

but now, for the biggest sin of all...

as I mentioned before, I hate when a character's trauma is not respected, and Bella? well she done did the worst thing...

she used Rosalie's trauma and desires to get what she wanted.

notice how, when Bella finds out Edward is not happy about the pregnancy (well, she doesn't even know if she's even pregnant at this point, so that's kind of ridiculous), she immediately calls Rosalie.

this is because Bella knows she can manipulate Rosalie into protecting and siding with her on the pregnancy.

Rosalie confided in her about her desire for motherhood, and so Bella took great advantage of that in the end, and I can't fucking stand her for it.

the saddest part is, she's your main character. you don't want to have a main character that makes so little sense as well as them becoming a bad person when that isn't the intention whatsoever. Bella is intended to be likeable or relatable, but she fucking isn't.

she's acts like she's always trying to get her next fix by any means necessary. she is driven by greed and lust, fucking literally, to do everything as she does. it's like watching someone live out their darker fantasies and how Bella is pretty much insatiable despite getting everything she wants and more.

here's the synopsis of the twilight saga bro:

abandoned by mom, Bella starts highschool in a place that isn't warm sunny, ew! but it's okay guys immediately like her but she doesn't like them bc gross. but the one guy, Edward, is cute and mysterious, so she figures him out in like 10 minutes. nearly dies, twice, bc if a van and an H&M model. Edward has to drink her blood like she's a Gogurt tube and bc she's clumsy she can wake up in a hospital and all is well. she isn't afraid by her near death in fact she's even more obsessed w Edward and vampirism. by the end of twilight, she got Edward, but she wants him to change her. Edward is like not rn bitch you're still not legal. 😩

new moon: surprise, Edward still doesn't want to change Bella, and after Jasper nearly goes after her, he leaves Bella in an attempt to protect her. Edward is her everything so now she has nothing, and Bella entertains Jacob to try and fill the void. oh cool, he's a dog on the side, AND he can fix a bike. Jacob works pretty good alongside trying to harm herself so she can think of Edward giving a shit about her lol. But in the end, Jacob still isn't Edward, and she can't have Edward die because she loves him and needs him, and so Bella will leave Jacob and then save Edward like a girl in scuffed Converse. but when Edward is faced with consequences for his actions, she has to offer herself as a sacrifice bc Edward cannot die to where he leaves Bella! The Volturi like Bella because she has McAffee installed in her brain and her firewall makes her.immune to shit, so they're like dope, change the bitch eventually Edward. And ofc Bella loves this because this is what she has been asking for. Sorry I ran away again and hurt you charlie, oops. she tells Edward she gonna be plotting her bite day like Tolkien novel.

eclipse: bite day is planned but OH NO Bella is still human and white so she is gonna curdle in the next 20 seconds if Edward doesn't bite her! she has to apply pressure otherwise she's gonna apply for AARP!!! Bella has to figure out a way to tell Edward she gotta be a vamp now otherwise she can never be a vamp and that would be sad, rawr. XD Oh victoria is a thing and she's made a lil baby army aside from being recast during her time being MIA. it goes as well as you could think it does and really nothing else really happens aside from Bella begging Edward to bite her already while they posture over her like hormonal peacocks.

breaking dawn part 1: she's graduated which means wedding and bite day! holla. she has her Polly pocket wedding but is so ready to be a vamp!!! but first honeymoon and her birds being met by Edward's bees! what's that? she missed her period? HAS TO BE PREGNANT!!!! ROSALIE HONEY— end up being this parasitic type thing and like wowza she looks like a spirit Halloween prop, but it's okay because BABY and she needs it born. she tries to drink blood and her baby snaps her spine like a stale loaf of french bread. rip. Edward successfully gets the baby out of Bella like pulling treats out of a dog's mouth and then he bites her all over the place because Bella was cosplaying the crypt keeper, and now we wait for her to change... BOOM SHE IS A VAMP AS SHE WANTED.

breaking dawn part 2: Bella is a vamp and she is beautiful and no longer clumsy and HA SHE TOLD YA SHE IS GREAT but she also has a weird daughter and Jacob may call her Nessie, but he can protect her from the werewolf pack and THE FBI when they find out what he's doing!!! but wait, the vampire FBI has heard about the kid and now y'all gotta prove she's your daughter like proving to a college board that you didn't plagiarize. you even have to find another vampire human thing and present them your evidence after making us think half of you died 30 seconds ago. but it's okay it all ends well bc Alice is a baddie so now Bella can have her baby, her hubby, and a life that never ends with either of them! she will always be beautiful and rich and hot and important and sexy and skilled and bootylicious and THE END! 🤪

honestly wish Edward just woulda let the van keep going. would've spared me a lot of pain and typing. oof.

anyways, that it! hope y'all enjoyed. :)

#luffy posts #twilight #new Moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #twilight saga #twilight Renaissance #luffy rants #Bella swan #edward cullen #Jacob Black

5 notes · View notes