Hi anon from eariler I just wanted to clarify it was not reading your posts about emma and stuff that made me realize I didn't like Dad! Dean but more just meta on Dean focusing on how horrible it would have been to have that much responsibility at a young age. I didn't mean for it to come out sounding like you talking about something you liked made me realize why I didn't like it. As for what you said I definetly agree that raising a kid for Dean would be more rewarding than raising Sam. Pt.1

I might be projecting but the idea of having kids is intimidating to me for many reasons but one big reason is being afraid of getting that responsibility. I have my issues and my family has had their issues we are no where near as fucked up as Dean and his family. But it has left me worried if I should ever be a parent because of those issues Even tho I'm not a fan I can see how Dad! Dean can be rewarding to Dean. But I think it would still be intimidating to him. pt2       

He's sorta a mess I mean its only natural after being through what he has. So he might feel intimidated about having a kid of his own. He was great with Ben but I think its a relief for him when someone has more responsibility for the kid than him or at least equal responsibility. Feeling there is more someone to back him up here in a way he didn't have before. I guess having chance to live and not have to feel so responsible for so much anymore. Im biased tho what you think? pt.3            

Haha oh well that’s ok then. As long as I’m not spreading Emma negativity subconsciously lol

I completely understand wanting Dean to be free of responsibility. Being a Dean fan means being aware of how often even as an adult Dean gets held responsible for Sam’s actions and for Cas’ decisions by fandom and the narrative, so I don’t blame you or anyone who just wants him to be free of that. But again, I feel that canon gives Dean 1, responsibilities it doesn’t make sense for him to have such as being responsible for the actions of other adults in his life and 2, only responsibility for bad outcomes. No one ever says, “Sam went to Stanford because Dean raised him right.” No one. The good things that happen to Sam are always viewed as happening in spite of Dean and John, while drinking demon blood happens because Sam is pushed by Dean. Sam opening the final seal is because Dean didn’t support him right. Sam eating healthy and exercising is in spite of Dean. So in current canon, responsibility is very firmly a negative thing for Dean whereas being a parent includes highs as well as lows like your kid growing up to be a nice person, intelligent, and kind. Those kinds of things usually get remarked upon as that child being “raised right” thereby attributing some responsibility to the parent for positive outcomes.

There are just certain people who just really want kids, different personality types maybe, and I think Dean is one of those people. From my own life I know a lot of people who had bad childhoods are scared of having kids because they’re scared of messing those kids up, but a lot of people with bad childhoods really want kids because they want to be the good parents their parents weren’t. I think Dean is the latter because we see the way he interacts with kids and because the narrative chose Lisa and Ben over Cassie as being Dean’s dream life. To me that’s the narrative telling us that Dean wants to be a parent. I don’t think wanting kids is the better response to having a bad childhood, just one of many responses. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting kids; parenthood is not for everyone and definitely not needed for a happy ending.

Imo, the most intimidating thing to Dean about having kids would be making a conscious decision to do it. Which is why kids like Ben and Emma and, hell, Krissy or Claire would be better for him and a more attractive situation for him. These kids already exist, what they need is a parental figure. With the stress of making the decision to bring someone new into the world gone, I don’t think Dean would be any more intimidated to raise these children than your average parent (who of course feels some intimidation, that’s natural).

In my opinion, Emma would have been the perfect child for Dean, amazon and all. She’s already a supernatural creature so it’s not like he has to protect her from that world, she’s stronger than him, she’s self-reliant, but there are important things Dean could still offer her like a home and love and support. There is an aspect of her not being totally dependent on him, which is appealing. Unlike Ben, he wouldn’t be obligated to change his life completely for her (although, personally, I still think getting out of hunting would be good for him). Having a baby in canon verse might admittedly be a bit too much for him. I can see that. Babies require constant supervision. Having a superpowered teenager? Not as much responsibility. Possibly, the perfect fit.

Anyway, again, just sharing my personal reasoning, not trying to argue, because it’s ok either way.