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possiamo-andare · 4 years

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Liar: JJ Maybank

JJ x Reader

(gif made by @rudypankows )

MASTERLIST

word count: over 9k (haha)

a/n: this is very angsty and I barely edited because it's so long. I'm so sorry in advance, the ending kinda sucks. I hope y'all like it tho!

description: this is a one part imagine, involving JJ and the reader (y/n). The reader and JJ meet at a beach party one night and start sleeping with eachother, but only staying friends. Soon, they fall for eachother and a sexual relationship turns into a romantic one. But JJ is hiding something and once it is revealed, will they ever be the same?

You rarely lied. As a kid, you would get hives when you lied to someone; your guilty conscience affecting your body. Lying was typically a very hard thing for you to do. It meant you were betraying someone's trust, and since you couldn't bear upsetting anyone, you couldn't lie. It got you in trouble all the time but your inability to lie was also your greatest strength. People appreciate your honesty and found your personality magnetic.

With that being said, you lied that night and it didn't even hurt you.

He had looked so good, you told yourself that. That was the problem. He had just looked so damn good that night at the beach almost anyone would lie to themselves to get him. Even just a taste.

You wanted to ignore him at first. Maybe if you didn't care enough, he wouldn't notice you. Because, god, if he noticed you, then he'd come over and then you couldn't promise anything. So, you averted your gaze and instead paid attention to Kie as she spoke, telling you about the newest charity she was saving money to donate to. You had, once in a while, glanced his way but he had always been looking somewhere else so you thought that he hadn't noticed your stares. Until, you had accidentally looked his way when he was watching you. You knew it was an honest mistake and something that eventually would've happened since you were looking so often, but you were embarrassed nonetheless. You were trying to convince yourself he didn't even notice you when he walked your way. You felt his eyes burning into you and you mustered every ounce of self control you had and didn't look at him as he walked closer and closer to you and Kie.

When he finally approached, he spoke to Kie first. "Hey Kie." His eyes drifted towards you again, this time a smirk evident on his face. Him watching you made you shift uncomfortably. You knew he was taking you all in.

Kie smiled at him and briefly hugged him. Then she looked at you, a nervous smile on your face, as she introduced you. "This is my friend Y/N. Y/N, this is JJ."

You nodded towards JJ. "Hi." That name sounded familiar but you couldn't quite remember. You went to the same school as Kie, you being a Pogue but getting a scholarship to the academy. You were an intelligent individual but you knew, when it came to boys, you were just about the dumbest person in the world. You'd probably sell your left kidney just for a kiss with this boy you had never met before. It was dumb, but you were a teenager and hopefully would grow out of it.

"Hey, nice to meet you." He extended his hand for you to shake.

You looked down at it and shook it, electricity coursing through your veins.

"What's your last name?"

JJ smirked, sizing you up once more. "Maybank."

JJ Maybank. You had heard about JJ and the things you heard didn't necessarily put a good taste in your mouth. But who were you to judge? Besides he was hot, and you doubted he would ever go for you. This was a harmless feeling.

Except it wasn't. One second, you were talking to JJ about surfing and the next second he was asking if you'd like to come back to his place. It had all happened so fast you were sure you had misunderstood him when he spoke. But then he asked you again and you were surprised. What surprised you even more was that you said yes.

"This is a one time thing." You lied to JJ, untying your shoes at his doorway.

He removed his shirt, pushing his hair out of his face. "Okay." He was smirking at you as you undressed, almost as if he didn't believe what you said.

You believed yourself that night, but soon came to realize that was so far from the truth. That one night had been amazing and you had thought that would be it. But it was not that easy. It never was with JJ. Before you knew it, only a week later, you saw him again. This time with a brunette leaning against him.

You had been invited by Kie again to meet John B. and Pope. You had gladly decided to come, partly because you wanted to meet Kie's other friends and also because you knew JJ would be there. But you hadn't expected him to be kissing someone else. Although you wanted it to be you, you knew that wasn't possible. Besides, why did you care? You were not gonna let some blonde Pogue mess with you. It was one night. It was amazing, but you had told him never again.

Then, it happened again. You were talking to John B. about helping him fix his car when, out of nowhere, JJ entered the conversation. He stood beside you and barely spoke but you felt his presence and that was enough. Once you and him were alone again, the conversation was short.

"Hey." He stated, matter-of-factly.

"Hi." You replied, pushing the hair out of your face.

"Didn't think I'd see you here." JJ smirked, taking a few steps closer to you. You remembered how harshly you swallowed. Boys like JJ rarely made you nervous.

"Well I am." You said defensively. You weren't about to let this boy play you. "Sorry I interrupted your fun with the brunette. What's her name?"

JJ chuckled. "Lacey. And you ruined nothing. To be honest, I wish it was you."

And then, that was it. Again, for the second time, you were in JJ's bed. Your clothes had been torn off before your body had even hit the bed. Shortly after JJ's were too. You barely had time to think, let alone speak but you managed to in between kisses.

"This is the last time." You smirked, both of you now knowing you were lying.

You wished you weren't lying that night. You wished you hadn't slept with JJ again. Maybe, you thought, everything that happened after would've been easier.

After that second night, you and JJ started a relationship. He wasn't your boyfriend, he made that clear to you. You hadn't really wanted him to be anyways. You had just gotten out of a long term relationship and didn't want your heart broken. You chose the wrong guy again because JJ loved breaking hearts. He did it for fun.

The rules were simple. You'd only call each other at night and you would leave right after. No real conversations, no love, just sex. And for a month, that was easy enough. You needed him during that month as much as he needed you. You weren't looking for something serious, just to fool around. You were sick and tired of commitment and heartbreak and just wanted to relax and have fun. JJ never had commitments and enjoyed the company. He hadn't had a girlfriend in ages and there was rarely a girl who wanted this kind of relationship. He was really happy to know that you were that type of girl. And he believed that as long as you continued to be that type of girl, this could go on forever.

Except it didn't.

You weren't really sure when everything changed but if you had to guess, you'd say it was the night he climbed through your bedroom window.

Your parents were out on a date night when you heard tapping on your window. At first you thought it was the tree outside your room but when it persisted, you decided to look for yourself. That's where you found JJ, leaning against your window sill. In a moment of shock, you opened the window and pulled him through. You were so shocked to see him mostly because the rules had been that if he wanted to have sex, he had to call you first. You had just been on your phone and since you hadn't gotten a call or text, you wondered why he was here in the first place. You were so shocked to see him here you almost didn't see his face. But once you did, you couldn't look away.

As he took a seat on the edge of your bed, you gasped. Not only was his face covered in blood and open wounds, he clutched his right side, as if he had broken a rib. You didn't hate blood, you hated the smell. To you, blood smelled like old iron and it made you nauseous. You probably would've become a doctor if it wasn't for the fact that the smell of blood made you nauseous. Maybe it was all the adrenaline of seeing JJ outside your window or the fact that he was badly beaten up, but you didn't feel nauseous when you smelled the blood coming off him. Your mind was too busy to remember to be nauseous.

You went to sit beside him, your hand coming to touch his face. "JJ..." The second your hand touched his cheek, he winced and pulled away.

"My dad got drunk." JJ stated, looking at his feet. He was clearly embarrassed and when you didn't speak, he continued. "I didn't know where to go. John B. is with Sarah and I don't wanna bother Pope or Kie."

You nodded. "I'm gonna get you cleaned up."

You knew JJ's dad was a deadbeat father. Everyone in OBX did. When he wasn't gambling, he was getting piss drunk in his home. A lot of people believed that JJ would bear the brunt of his father's alcoholism but you didn't want to believe it. You didn't want to believe that a father hurt his only child. Your parents weren't the best, being Pogues they rarely parented and you were frequently left to your own devices, but they never laid a finger on you. You didn't want to believe someone as seemingly happy as JJ would be suffering from physical abuse behind closed doors. Now, you knew it to be true.

You wanted to cry for JJ. But you stayed strong and fixed him the best you could. You got some disinfectant and a cloth, with tons and tons of bandages and got to work. First, you washed his face. As the water cleansed his face, your sink started to look like a crime scene. The amount of blood that went down the drain almost made you think that people's water was gonna start to taste like iron. Once his face was washed, you realized that there were only really two big gashes on his face. One, right over his cheek and the other on his forehead. With some disinfectant and bandages, you knew it would heal in a couple of weeks. As for JJ, you didn't know if he would heal.

"This is gonna hurt." You said as you held the cloth you soaked in disinfectant. JJ was sitting on the edge of your bathtub as you spoke to him.

He nodded. "Got any liquor?"

You smiled, shaking your head. "Sorry."

JJ sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "It's whatever."

And with that, you started to disinfect his wounds. At first, he was wincing but the more you cleaned, the less he did. Finally, when the two wounds on his face were clean, you put three bandages on each wound. Then, you moved onto his side, where he was clutching it tenderly. You knew that this was way out of your area of expertise but you wanted to help the best you could. And you knew JJ would never agree to go to a hospital.

"You gotta take off your shirt." You stated, pointing to the bloody shirt he still was wearing.

JJ smirked, looking down. "You want me right now?"

You couldn't help but smile. Even in this state, he could make you laugh. How was he so strong? "No. I need to see if you're hurt anywhere else."

JJ nodded, still smirking as he lifted his shirt over his head. "Anything to see me naked."

You were about to counter with a snarky remark, but you never got the chance. Your breath was caught in your throat when you saw what was underneath JJ's shirt. Where he was clutching his side, was a large purple bruise that expanded through his entire side. It was horrendous and you knew it would turn black before it started to heal but that wasn't even the worst of it. There were smaller bruises all over his stomach and back. They were small but you could tell they were large before and were just starting to heal. You wondered how you didn't see them before. It was dark when you were together but it couldn't have been that dark. Granted, you weren't really looking out to see if there was bruising but you couldn't believe that you had missed these before.

You were silent for minutes and finally, JJ spoke. "I never wanted you to see them. That's why I want to only see you at night."

You looked to JJ's face, his expression unreadable. Although he was expressionless, you were not. Your face was in a deep frown and there were tears pooling in your eyes, threatening to spill over any moment. You wanted to speak, but you didn't know what you could say. What was there to say?

Finally, you found your voice. "JJ..." Your voice was weak and soft, filled with emotion. You reached for his hand but when he realized you were about to cry, he pulled away.

"No," he said defiantly. "Don't get emotional. I'm fine." He was acting so strong. Why?

You nodded, blinking back tears. You refused to cry. "I'll get you some ice. Go lay on my bed."

You barely looked at JJ in the face as you left the bathroom to go get ice. This was too much for you, and it seemed like another normal Saturday night for JJ. You couldn't decide whether to feel so bad for him or angry that he wasn't letting you cry. You knew he was holding back tears, just like you, but he resented that you wanted to cry. You knew you weren't strong like JJ. All this time, all those beatings, and you would've cracked. You would've ran away or worse, but JJ kept going back. That night, your opinion of JJ changed.

The rest of the night consisted of you icing JJ's side and not speaking. You tried to get him to talk but he refused. You started with asking him about why his dad was doing this and for how long but he wouldn't answer you. Then you asked what had happened this time but he didn't want to talk about it. He complained he was tired and just wanted to sleep. You knew this was breaking a rule, but you cuddled beside him, laying your head in his chest to hear his heartbeat. He seemed way more calm when you were beside him.

Finally, after an hour of trying to get him to talk, you spoke for the last time. "Why'd you come to me?"

JJ shrugged one of his shoulders, the other one not moving because it was under your body. "I trust you."

You were shocked but too tired to say anything. You just laid there with him, hoping that you helped take some of the pain away. You hoped you had made some type of difference but you knew that with JJ, you were never sure.

After that night, things were different. JJ started calling you less and less and when you called him, he started making up more excuses. Sometimes you both went a week without speaking to each other and then he blamed it on how busy he was. You rarely hooked up, and when you did, it felt different. There was way more kissing and the kissing was more passionate and longer. Before, you had raced to take your clothes off and now, you let JJ make the first move. You felt different and at first, you thought it was because you felt closer to JJ. He had come to you in a time of need and you now were considered friends. That's why you thought it felt different. But then, JJ started acting very differently and you knew it wasn't just you. He would stay with you afterwards. He used to get dressed before you had time to catch your breath but now, he lingered on your bed and near you. You knew he wanted to stay the night but didn't know how to ask. And you were scared to tell him to stay. You didn't want to scare him.

JJ was not the relationship type of guy but that's basically what you were. You had stopped sleeping with anyone else entirely after that night and focused solely on thinking of JJ. You knew what a crush felt like and you knew that you were developing feelings for JJ. But, it was so hard for you to know if he felt the same way. Sometimes, you were sure he felt the same way. There were days where he couldn't keep his hands off you and was so passionate you couldn't stop smiling. Then there were other days where he wouldn't text you back and didn't answer your calls. You weren't sure if he was sleeping with other girls but you didn't want to ask. If he was, you knew it would hurt you.

Three days before the incident, JJ was having one of those days where he wasn't talking to you. You had texted him to ask him if he was going to Kie's party tonight but he only read it and didn't respond. You had just seen each other the night before and he was so loving and passionate that you thought for sure he felt the same. He had even stayed to cuddle afterward and talk to you about his day. You were smiling and laughing with each other and you were starting to feel like a real couple. Now, he wasn't responding to a simple question you asked. You felt so defeated. You couldn't tell what he was feeling and you felt like you were being strung along. You wanted to sit down and talk to him but you knew JJ and he didn't like that type of stuff. For JJ to even say he was happy was a lot since he rarely talked about his emotions.

That day, you felt used. You knew he was playing you. You convinced yourself, in that moment, that if he likes you he would've already told you. You convinced yourself he didn't like you. You told yourself, if he came to Kie's party, you would ignore him all night and talk to some other guy. There was no reason to wait around for someone who didn't appreciate you.

So, as you got ready for Kie's party, you turned off your phone. If he was gonna try to call or text you, you would make sure you couldn't see it. It would be way too tempting to keep your phone open. As you buttoned your shorts, you continued to tell yourself that this was for your own good. There's no point in being with someone who couldn't even decide if they liked you or not.

When you got to Kie's party, you instantly looked for alcohol. If you wanted to distract yourself, alcohol was your best option right now. You were halfway done with your second cup when Kie found you.

"Hey honey." She said, slowly taking the drink out of your hands. You fought her grasp for a second but when she started to glare at you, you let the cup go.

You plastered on a fake smile. "Hi Kie."

She threw out the remainder of your drink before hugging you tightly. "You're gonna need to be sober tonight."

You frowned, your brain already a bit foggy. "Why?"

Kie let go of you, glancing at the beach for a moment before looking back at you. "Rafe is here."

You wanted to gasp, but it came out more as a hiccup. Unfortunately, Rafe was your ex. You were together for a year before he cheated on you with someone else. You and Rafe had many great memories together but they were all tainted by the fact that he had cheated on you. Kie had told you from the beginning that a Pogue and a Kook dating was not a good idea but you were dumb and did it anyways. The good thing about Kie is that she never said I told you so. She just hugged you until you stopped crying. Now, you had to face Rafe for the first time since you broke up months ago.

Surprisingly, you reacted normally. You shrugged, looking behind you to John B., who was handling the keg. "JB! Can ya get me another cup?"

John B. looked over to Kie, who was glaring at him. John B. knew not to mess with Kie. He then looked back to you and shook his head. "Sorry."

You frowned, glaring at Kie. "Seriously?"

Kie just smirked. "You need to be on your best behavior."

You shrugged, a devilish idea popping onto your mind. "I will."

Kie frowned. "I know that look."

You smiled, the idea in your head about to turn into a reality. "Step aside."

Kie shook her head but you were quick to push her away and walk ahead of her, straight in the direction of Rafe. Kie followed behind you, pleading for you not to talk to him. You had never resolved your problems with Rafe and you knew that was something he wanted to do. So, in an effort to get a rise out of JJ, you were gonna talk to Rafe. You knew he was somewhere at this party and if he saw you and his nemesis speaking again, you hoped he would cause a scene. It was a shitty thing to do but it was the only way to know how JJ truly felt about you.

Once you got closer to the ocean, you spotted Rafe. He was sipping on a red cup, probably filled with beer, as he talked to Topper. When he saw you, he almost spit out his drink. You locked eyes for a moment before Kie stepped in front of you, blocking your view of him.

"No way. He cheated Y/N." Kie said, grabbing a hold of your hand.

You nodded. "I know."

Kie had a confused look on her face. "Then why talk to him?"

You looked over her shoulder and started to watch as Rafe made his way over to you. "Because of JJ."

Kie looked even more confused for a moment but then caught on. She had only suspected that there was something going on between the two of you but had no proof. Your omission right there was enough proof.

"Don't do this." Kie argued again, trying to convince you that this entire situation was a bad idea. She had seen what a jealous JJ was capable of and she knew if he felt even some feelings for you, this would not end well.

"If JJ can't admit his feelings towards me, I'll just talk to someone you will." You said to Kie, finally looking away from her one last time.

Right behind Kie stood Rafe. The red cup in his hand before was now gone and he was smiling at you. He had come tonight knowing you'd probably be here. He knew he had made a mistake and was willing to fix it between the two of you. You were always such a good girlfriend and he missed hanging out with you. He hoped you were open to fixing things too.

"Hey." Rafe said, causing Kie to turn around. She took one look at Rafe and rolled her eyes before looking back at you. You smiled at her and she sighed, walking away. Kie was done. If this is what you wanted, there was no way to stop you.

"Hi Rafe." You giggled, twirling your hair around your finger. You needed to be extra flirty with Rafe. The more you acted like you still liked him, you hoped the more upset JJ would be.

"I wanted to talk to you. I hoped we could talk about what happened." He said, stepping closer to you.

You nodded, holding back a gag. Truth be told, there was nothing on this earth that could make you like Rafe again. "Sure."

"I just wanna say how fucking sorry I am." Rafe began, grabbing your hand. You wanted to flinch but you didn't. "I was such a fool and I realize that now. I want you back Y/N."

You smiled, pretending to be happy with what he was saying. To be honest, you wanted to gag. The boy had cheated on you for half of your relationship with a girl that, as far as you knew, he was still seeing. There was no way in hell you would ever take him back. He didn't have to know that. You felt like it was justice now. Maybe Rafe was getting what he deserved.

Before you could speak and tell Rafe you were willing to give him a chance, you felt two hands on your arm. The hands grabbed where Rafe was holding your arm and ripped you both away. You recognized the person immediately. It was JJ, and he was fuming. He barely even looked at you as he made his way to stand in front of you, standing in between you and Rafe.

JJ turned to you, his brows furrowed and his jaw set. "What the hell are you doing?"

You rolled your eyes. "Just talking to Rafe."

Rafe moved from behind JJ to beside him. He grabbed a hold of JJ's shoulder and tried to move him. JJ didn't budge, still glaring at you. You knew it was working. Finally, you had some type of answer. JJ had unresolved feelings for you. Now, he just had to admit it.

"Why?" JJ questioned, glaring at Rafe for a moment before looking to you again. Although he was mad, you could tell his expression softened when he looked at you.

Before you could speak, Rafe grabbed a hold of JJ's shoulders and pushed him away from me. Then, Rafe spoke. "We're trying to work shit out."

JJ moved out of the way but only enough for Rafe to squeeze forward. You kept your eyes on JJ, who was now beyond confused. Rafe was speaking to you again but you tuned him out and watched as JJ tried to figure out why the hell you would want to work things out with Rafe. Finally, it seemed to click. When it did, JJ grabbed your hand and pulled you away from Rafe. Your hand felt as if it was on fire and you wanted to smile so badly but you kept the frown on your face. Rafe tried to follow you but JJ stood in front of him so your eyes were only on JJ's now.

As you looked into his eyes, he grabbed a hold of your shoulders and brought you close to him. "If you want to know how I feel, just ask me."

Rafe spoke up now. "What the fuck are you -"

"Rafe!" You spoke up, glaring at Rafe for a moment. You tore your gaze away from JJ for a moment only to finally give Rafe a piece of your mind. "I'd only get back together with you if we were the last two people on earth, and maybe not even then."

Rafe was taken aback. He had definitely not thought you were going to act so rude but you could care less. "JJ..." Rafe began to say but JJ ignored him. You didn't know why Rafe was so confused by JJ's reaction but you didn't care. JJ was about to tell you how he felt and that was all that mattered.

There was nothing for Rafe to say to make you like him and he knew it. So, with that, he turned and left. Finally, your eyes were back on JJ.

"You have to tell me." You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

JJ smirked, cupping your face in his hands. "You have to ask me."

You rolled your eyes. "How do you feel?"

JJ smiled this time, pulling you closer. "I like you Y/N. A lot."

You smiled back, wanting to scream for joy. Finally, there was no more confusion. "I like you too. A lot."

Finally, the two of you kissed. There was no more confusion or lies. It was just you and JJ, kissing. This kiss was different. It was full of promises. You liked each other, for real now, and you were not afraid to admit it. This is what it felt like to kiss someone you liked you, wholeheartedly. Someone who wanted you. Someone who cared. It had been so long since you had kissed someone who had cared about you.

That weekend before the incident, was probably the best weekend of your life. It was just you and JJ the entire weekend. The first two days were spent at your house. You just stayed together, half naked, talking and laughing and watching tv. There was no drama or confusion. It was just you and him. The kisses felt so real. The feelings felt so good. You felt a little more whole. You felt as though JJ felt the same. Those two days at your house were not only passionate but they were also a time where you got to know one another. This entire time, the both of you didn't know much about each other. Those two days in your house were spent getting to know each other. You learned that JJ loved fixing cars and wanted to own a hot tub one day. You knew his favourite colour and his favourite sport. And finally he opened up about his dad. When the abuse began, when it got worse and even what instigated his father that night he came to your house. You didn't cry and neither did he. You just soaked in his words and let him say his peace before comforting. JJ had opened up to you more in those two days than he had since he met you. You knew why. It was because you finally were a couple and he finally could be honest with someone. To JJ, it was the best feeling in the world. But, even as he spoke to you, he knew he was lying between his teeth.

The third day, you both had been at JJ's house. His dad had gone south for the weekend to gamble so you and JJ decided to get some fresh air and stay in his backyard for the day. There was only one lawn chair in his backyard but you both made it work. JJ sat down on it as you sat on his lap and cuddled onto him. For a couple of hours, you just laid there with him, talking at different times about everything. You felt so free now and you believed JJ felt the same. You knew it was because everything was out in the open. Everything had been said and anything that hadn't was still being developed. Even if it was just you and JJ laying on a chair, you still felt excited. You were with JJ and not scared anymore. You knew how he felt and it just felt so good to be wanted. It had felt like it had been a lifetime since you felt wanted.

When the sun finally set, you knew you had to say goodbye. Your parents were probably worried for you and JJ's dad would be back the next morning. The weekend was coming to an end and you were so upset. You and JJ had been in this bubble the entire weekend and you didn't want to break it. It was so hard to say goodbye. It took you and JJ ten minutes to say goodbye. You made plans to see each other tomorrow but it still felt like such a long time. You stood on JJ's front lawn for ten minutes, kissing and hugging each other until you were the first to pull away. You knew if you didn't get home soon, your parents would ground you.

"I gotta go." You whined as JJ kissed you again.

He wasn't letting you go. "No."

You pried away from his grip. You didn't want to leave. Being with JJ always made you feel better, even more so now. "I gotta. I'll see you tomorrow."

Finally, JJ lets you leave. With one last kiss, you turn away from him and walk away. As you walk down JJ's block, there's an evident smile on your face. You probably look like a crazy woman to the neighbours but you could care less. It had been a long road, through so much confusion, but you finally were with JJ.

You thought back to the time when you first met JJ. You had promised him it was a one time thing and you knew it was a lie. It felt like years ago when you first met him when in reality, it had only been a couple of months. You pictured his face the first time you met him. He had the devilish smirk on his face and his pupils were dilated. You remembered how you felt, and it didn't compare to how you felt now. You had never felt this strong about someone in ages and it felt so good to be appreciated. You had known that night, whether you'd admit it or not, that JJ was going to change your life. You had texted Kie that night and told her -

Your phone.

As you made your way onto the steps of your house, you remembered you forgot your phone at JJ's house. Dammit. You sighed and opened your front door, hoping your parents would let you go back quickly to get it.

Thankfully, your parents were sitting in your living room when you entered your house. They greeted you quietly but you told them you can't stay because they remembered you forgot your phone at Kie's house. You had told them you were at Kie's house and of course, they believed you. Your dad warned you to be quick and soon and you promised that you would. You were out the door and down your steps before your parents had time to warn you again.

Although it was inconvenient to walk all the way back to JJ's house, you couldn't help but smile. Not only would it be a cute surprise but you also wanted to see JJ again. You had missed him already.

You raced back to JJ's house and made it in ten minutes, cutting your travel time in half. You were desperate to see him again, even if it was only for five minutes. Your excitement died down once you saw JJ's house.

The first thing you noticed that was out of place was that there was a BMW in JJ's driveway. JJ didn't have a car, let alone a BMW. That was something a Kook had. You looked at the license plate and it seemed familiar but you couldn't place it. As you passed the car, you slowed down. Something about this car made your body go cold, even on a hot summer night like this. Your gut was telling you something, but you didn't want to believe it.

You somehow knew that you had to be quiet. As you made your way up the steps of JJ's house, you tiptoed towards the door. The closer you got, the more you realized that the door was slightly open, a glimmer of light from the house spilling into the darkness of night. You leaned forward, peeking through the slightly ajar door, hoping to get a glimpse of what was going on.

"Don't!" You heard JJ yell, his figure coming into the limited space you could see. He was yelling at someone that you couldn't see.

"Why? Because you know she'll hate you?" The voice made you gasp softly. You knew who it was. It was Rafe. It was Rafe's car that was in the driveway. Why was he here? And who were they talking about?

"Shut your fucking mouth!" JJ seethed, grabbing ahold of Rafe's collar and finally pulling him into your eyesight.

Rafe pushed JJ off of him, shoving him into the wall. You wanted to scream but you knew if you did, you'd never find out what they were talking about. "If you don't tell her, I will."

JJ looked so defeated. You wanted to reach out to him. "Please don't. I love her."

You knew who they were talking about now. It was you. JJ had done something only Rafe knew about. It was something he knew you'd hate him for. What could he have done?

Rafe played with his keys in his hand. "I paid you to go out with her only for you to break her heart. So she'd come back to me. What was so fucking hard about that? Not my fault you love her. I want my money back."

Rafe paid him? No. You couldn't believe it. Wouldn't. Everything felt so real. JJ's feelings felt real. You knew it was too good to be true. Even before he approached you for the first time, you had a feeling he would never like you. When he showed interest, you were surprised. When he approached you the second time, you were even more surprised. It all made sense now. Why was JJ so reluctant to like you, why he pulled you away from Rafe when you were trying to talk to him at Kie's party. He was playing you. But it all felt so real.

You must've gasped really loud because JJ and Rafe heard you from inside. JJ had swung the door open, scared to see who was on the other side. He knew if it was you, it would be over for him. When he saw you, crying, he realized what he had done.

When you saw JJ reach out for you, you moved away. He disgusted you. How could he? How could Rafe? Granted, Rafe was an asshole but at least he wore it on his sleeve. JJ had tricked you. And you could never forgive him. You backed away from both JJ and Rafe, slowly moving down JJ's steps.

"Y/N..." JJ began, following you down the steps. Rafe just watched behind JJ, clearly enjoying the misery he caused.

"Get away from me." You seethed, tears rolling down your face so fast. God, you felt sick. You felt so nauseous. Everything was a lie.

"I'm so sorry." JJ frowned, tears in his eyes. He seemed to shrink down as he walked towards you. The closer he walked though, the farther you walked.

"You liar!" You screeched, your voice raspy. You could barely breathe. It hurt so much.

JJ shook his head, his arms out towards you. "No, no. I love you Y/N."

You shook your head, wrapping your hands around your body, hugging yourself. You closed your eyes for a moment and stopped walking. This couldn't be real. You didn't want it to be real.

You felt JJ come closer to you, finally wrapping his arms around you. You let him embrace you, even if you didn't hug him back. This was the last time he would touch you. The last time he'd hurt you. God, you had been so stupid.

The hug only lasted ten seconds because the second you collected yourself, you pushed him away. He looked so hurt, tears running down his face. You wanted to hug him, you still had feelings for him, but you knew you couldn't. He betrayed you. He lied to you.

"You're a liar." You said coldly, finally turning around and running away.

You ran and ran and ran. Away from JJ's house and away from Rafe. Away from everything that you once loved. You didn't even stop to catch your breath, your mind wouldn't let you. You believed that maybe if you ran far enough, you wouldn't be in so much pain. You wanted to run away from all your problems.

You made it to your house in record time. By the time you entered your home, your parents were gone. They left a note on your bed saying that they went out for the night and would be back by midnight. You didn't care. You used to care. You used to leave you but it seemed as if everyone was leaving you recently.

You curled up into a ball on your bed and closed your eyes. Once your eyes were closed, you blocked the images of JJ that flooded your mind. You remembered you hadn't gotten your phone but you didn't care. You just wanted to sleep. You cried so much your chest was starting to hurt and you knew the only way for all of this to stop, was for you to rest your body and mind. It was easy for you to fall asleep. Your eyelids were already droopy from all the crying that it only took a couple of minutes for you to fall asleep. Once you did, you slept the entire night. You started to dream about JJ, but you stopped yourself. Your brain wasn't ready for that yet. You needed time.

And this is where you were now. You hadn't talked to JJ in two days. Kie had come by to drop your phone off and she tried to comfort you but you didn't speak. It was hard to comfort someone who didn't want to be comforted. You felt so empty. You felt stupid too. You had been so eager to trust JJ, even when Rafe had betrayed your trust already. But you were a good person. You guessed this was your punishment.

When Kie couldn't comfort you, John B. had tried to come over. At first, you didn't want to let him in, but with some coaxing, you finally opened your door to him.

You wanted to ask how JJ was but you told yourself you shouldn't care anymore. He wasn't yours anymore. He never was.

John B., tired of the silence, was the first to speak. "JJ is a wreck."

This got your attention. You had hoped he was. So were you. You didn't say anything to John B. when he said this, just nodded solemnly.

"I've never seen him like this. He's really sorry." John B. said, sitting down beside you.

You scowled. "Did you only come here to make me feel shitty? JJ lied to me. He betrayed me. I could care less if he was dying."

John B. didn't even react to what you were saying, almost as if he knew you were going to say that. "Yeah. I know. I wanted to come to see how you were doing, but I'd be lying if I said JJ didn't want me to come to see how you were doing."

You looked at John B., the scowl replaced with a frown. "If he wants to talk to me, he can come here himself." You didn't want him to, but you knew the only way to end this was to tell JJ yourself.

John B. nodded. "When can he meet you then?"

You had decided with John B. that you were going to meet JJ at the beach, where you first met. You guessed it was only fitting. You had gotten ready a couple hours before you were set to meet with him. You wanted to look a bit presentable, only to show JJ that you looked better than he did. Even if it was not true, you wanted to appear like you moved on. You put on some makeup and changed into a new tank top with black shorts, praying to God that you looked a little better than you were. You wanted to appear as if you had healed, even if you hadn't.

Waiting on the beach was absolute torture. You had been ten minutes early which was your fault entirely. You wanted to have some control over the situation, even though you knew you weren't in control. As you waited, you began to feel yourself start to cry. You couldn't believe how much everything changed. Only days ago you and JJ were together and happy, and now you could barely think about him without crying. Everything has gone so messed up. Although you desperately wanted to go back to the time where you two were still together, you knew that you couldn't do that. You had the truth now and as much as those old memories were good, you didn't want to forget the truth. You would come here with only one purpose. You needed to end things with JJ completely.

JJ was late by three minutes. You wanted to be upset but you know why he was late. You knew he wanted to prolong this conversation because he knew why you wanted to talk to him. You were here to end things for good and JJ didn't want that. By the time he finally arrived on the beach, he prepared himself. You were doing the same.

Once he was close enough, you spoke first. "Hello." You were cold as you spoke, almost as if you were talking to a stranger.

JJ knew he deserved this kind of behaviour from you but it still hurt him deeply. With every ounce of being he had in him, he replied. "Hi."

"I think you know why I want to talk to you." You said, the coldness in your voice still evident. You are afraid that if he even showed a small hint of emotion, you would break down and start crying all over again.

JJ nodded, tears in his eyes. He knew how stupid he was. When Rafe had come up to him before the beach party, he had been planning to take this other girl named Lacey out but he had offered JJ $2,000 just to break some girl's heart. JJ did that shit for free and to get money for it oh, it seemed like a deal. He slept with you once and although he felt something, he ignored it. He got his money but Rafe was still unhappy because you hadn't reached out to him yet. So Rafe told JJ to hook up with you a second time but this time JJ didn't ask for any money. It felt wrong in JJ's eyes. He actually had a good time with you. You were a good person and it felt wrong. But he liked you enough to continue sleeping with you. Not for Rafe, before himself. After that night where you patch him up, he knew he couldn't deny his feelings for you anymore. He went back and forth in his mind, debating whether he should pursue things with you or not. You had made it clear many times that you felt something for him and although he felt something for you, there was a little voice in his head telling him that what he was doing screwed up because he hadn't liked you at first. There were so many times where he wanted to tell you but he didn't want to ruin anything because for the first time he actually ever felt happy with someone. Then he ruined everything. And now you never want to speak to him again.

JJ wanted to explain everything to you in detail and try to make you understand the situation that he was put in. There was no point though. He still had done a screwed-up thing to you and he didn't deserve you.

"After tonight, I never want to talk to you again." You said plainly, crossing your arms over your chest. The sun was setting soon and you knew you should be getting home. But you needed one more thing from JJ. "Why'd you do it?"

JJ had been looking at his feet the entire time but when you said this he finally made eye contact with you. "Do what?"

You let a tear slide down your cheek and you watched as JJ frowned even more. "Why did you just break my heart like Rafe wanted? Why did you string me along?"

JJ sighed, looking at the ocean before getting the courage to look at you. He had hurt you beyond repair. He knew that there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do, to get you to forgive him. So he didn't sugar coat it. He just told you the truth.

"I could care less about you at first. I had seen you hanging out with Kie so many times before that first party and I thought you were cute but you were Kie's friend. Then race told me his plan and said he'd give me $2,000 if I could break your heart. I never cared about anyone. I was selfish. So at first, I did it. And it was easy. But you are so easy to love Y/N. You're kind and gentle. You didn't ask many questions when I came over to your house that night covered in cuts and bruises. You never pushed me to talk about my feelings because you knew that was not something that I was comfortable with. No one has done that. And I realized what I had been missing. But Rafe realized that you didn't love him anymore. He tried to get me to do it again and even offered more money but something told me not to do it." JJ took a moment to breathe, looking at the tears sliding down your face. He wondered what you were thinking. "It's so easy to be with you. I'm not easy to be around. I'm selfish and I'm cruel. I'm reckless. But you love me so much that you were patient. I know I should have told you. But it was so easy to be with you, that I didn't think I would be able to live without you. I'm sorry."

You didn't know how to react. This was the most JJ had ever expressed his feelings towards you. You'd be lying if you said you weren't surprised. You didn't know if it was enough though. You wondered if anything he did would be enough.

When you didn't respond to him, JJ knew. It wasn't enough. He loved you and he said all those nice things, but it wasn't enough. He was a liar and he betrayed you too deeply for you to forgive him. He understood. He didn't blame you. He didn't say anything else. He doubted you wanted to hear his voice ever again. He made no sound as he turned away from you and left. As he walked to the boardwalk and passed the beach, he couldn't help but cry. Although he had cried before, this time he knew it was the end. It wasn't enough.

You didn't know why JJ left. You are still trying to take in all those things that he said and by the time that you did, you realized that he was gone. You scanned the beach in the boardwalk and finally found him a hundred yards away. He didn't want to forgive him. You had come here tonight to make him hurt. You had come to end things completely. You had told yourself that no matter how much he pleaded, you were still going to walk away. But as much as you didn't want to admit it, you knew JJ and you knew when he was lying and when he wasn't. He wasn't lying now you knew he wasn't lying when you guys were together. He had screwed up. He had started a relationship with you for the wrong reasons. But he loved you. He loves you so much that he was willing to walk away if that made you happy. But you realized it didn't make you happy. And you wondered why you wanted to walk away in the first place. JJ had done all that terrible stuff before he knew you. And although it would take so much time for you to completely heal, you need JJ. So you ran after him.

"JJ!" You screamed, running closer and closer towards the boy you loved.

JJ stopped dead in his tracks. He thought his brain was playing tricks on him. But when you called for him the second time, he knew it was true. You had chased after him. You still wanted him. What had he done to deserve that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

When he turned around, he saw you run to him. His tears instantly stopped and a huge smile fell over his lips. You had still loved him. You had run such a long way and JJ felt bad so he ran to you, trying to close to distance faster. Once you were close enough to touch, JJ reached out for you. When you reached out for him, he grabbed ahold of you, pulling you into a big hug. You both stood there for a moment, trying to catch your breath as you hugged. JJ was smiling so wide.

Once you caught your breath, you let go of JJ. You looked at him, his hands coming up cup your cheeks. He was smiling so wide and you felt yourself smiling too.

"You're easy to love too."

JJ didn't say anything, just pulled you close for a kiss. When your lips touched, you felt whole again. It would take some time but you needed JJ. And he needed you.

"I love you." JJ said, smiling wide.

You nodded, pulling him close. "I love you."

And you both weren't lying.

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