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swampstew · 10 months

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KIᒪᒪEᖇᑕOOK - ᑕᕼᗩᑭTEᖇ ５

Welcome to Raven's Reading Nook - a small corner of this blog dedicated to cozy story times. Join us in the family room as we sit around and browse our phones, and eat some Girl Scout cookies as we begin tonight's story. Rated Mature for language. Minors DNI.

It's unbearably hot and I needed a cooldown. Nothing soothes my soul quite like bullying the characters of One Piece. This chapter was inspired by my friends who yearn for KillerCook, this video of Brandon Farris (skip to 1:37 mark for the gag), and this illustration by Denise Fanta Stay hydrated and wear your suncreen, y'all »»»———　☠　———«««

*Phone app notification goes ping*

TikTok – KillerCook has uploaded a new video. Check it out!

Title: When Watermelons Attack Description: A summer science experiment gone hilariously wrong. 6 minute video. The thumbnail is a still frame of a partially clothed Killer and Kid, with a nervous Wire and Heat in the background.

*Press Play*

Four massive and buff men stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the camera, creating an almost cramped atmosphere despite the fact that they were located in a massive kitchen space. They all waved hello at the camera before KillerCook took a step closer to the camera.

The daylight spilled through the massive bay windows creating a high definition viewing experience. Global weather had been unbearably hot for everyone and the crew was not spared from the dangerous heat wave. Even in the cool-climate controlled house, all four men were sweating as the lead stepped into his role.

“Hello everyone, KillerCook here joined by my buddies whom you all should know and love by now. If you don’t, go back to my very first upload and don’t come back to this video until you’ve watched them all!” Killer held out a stern finger to the camera. “Or don’t, I’m not your father. I don’t care what you do so long as you like, comment, and follow my channel.”

Killer’s hair was weighed down by the humidity in the air, lacking its usual volume; his helmet looked like it was also perspiring under the unforgiving sunlight. Sweat glistened on his neck and arms, and his muscle tank top clung to his sculpted body as he presented some items in front of the camera.

“Normally I have a delicious recipe I create on camera but to be honest, heats killing us!”

Heat, flagged down by a small, pinned tag of his TikTok handle FlamingHot420, stood behind and off to the left of Killer, letting out a surprised look and hurt pout.

“I’m not doing anything!” he pulled back his long, baby blue locks into a ponytail so as not to touch or stick to the back of his neck or tattooed arms. His black, sleeveless gym tank hugged his trapezius muscles, which flexed noticeably along with his sinewy arms as he adjusted his hairstyle.

“Tsk, not you idiot!” Kid growled.

The Boss of the crew, the redhaired heartthrob tagged by his handle PunkNeverDied69, looked crankier than usual in the hellish weather pattern. He wore a loose, light colored t-shirt over gym shorts, his flesh hand tucked into pocket to flair out the billowy material to circulate more air flow around his body. Forgoing his metal prosthetic did not diminish his stature or build in any manner. He still looked like a wall of meat, packaged into a tight container of a body straining against his frame. Every curve and groove of his toned muscles seemed exaggerated with the sweat the dripped between each dip.

Killer dropped his covered face a few degrees before regaining his composure, “ANYWAYS – cooking or baking during these record breaking heat waves seems like a terrible idea. Especially for Wire, he’ll be the first to succumb to heat exhaustion since as we all know, heat rises.” As he spoke, Killer used his hand to demonstrate heated air rising, right in front of Wire’s stature to emphasize the tall joke he was making.

Wire slapped the hand away, “Even on a cool day your jokes suck ass.” Tagged by his handle Scream_maim_fire, he did not help disprove Killer’s point when he wrapped his signature cloak headdress around his body.

“You’re just saying that because you continuously put an endothermic material over your head that’s frying your brain stupid!” Killer retorted.

The heat wave was putting everyone in a pissy mood. Kid snapped rubber bands at them with his thumb and forefinger.

“ENOUGH! Let’s get this over with so you can make our melon slushies!”

“Right,” Killer cleared his throat. “Let’s rewind. Today, we’re going to do a science experiment! How much pressure can a watermelon take before it breaks. We have melons and an obscene amount of rubber bands. When we’re through with the experiment, I’ll make us refreshing and hydrating watermelon slushies.”

“Like hell a bunch of stupid bits of rubber can do shit. I say we get the claw hammer,” Kid’s grin turned sinister.

“No.”

A massive, oblong shaped watermelon was placed on the tarp protected countertop with a dull thud. Killer leaned his helmet close to the melon and began knocking on it to test its ripeness. He swapped the melon out three times before being satisfied with his victim.

Killer began the arduous process of expanding the rubber material and sliding it snugly down to the watermelon’s midsection. The bag he was pulling them from claimed it held 500 rubber bands.

At the 100 rubber band mark, Kid, Heat, and Wire began wrapping their necks, and Killer’s, with damp hand towels lined with ice cubes. Killer let out an audible sigh of relief as he cooled down, revitalized to keep going. The trio decided to spend their time observing while sucking on frozen fruit popsicles.

“By the time we get through all these melons, I’ll have enough for smoothies, fruit leather, slushies, juice, flavored water, and popsicles!” Killer huffed out.

“That’s 236 rubber bands, Killer,” Heat tallied the notepad he was writing in when the masked man gasped excitedly as a seam in the fruit tore, creating a tiny fissure that fizzled with tiny, red bubbles. At 269 rubber bands, the melon began to let out a soft hissing sound.

“It’s like I’m strangling it to death,” Killer said almost too enthusiastically.

“Heh cool,” Kid grinned ear to ear.

At the 398th rubber band, the fruit began to change in shape. The midsection was beginning to slim down, and the melon itself had started out with a bowling ball shape, it now looked more like a fall time gourd. The healthy green coloring it originally had was noticeably paler.

“Ok it looks like we’re getting close to the fun part. We’re going to take a moment to prep our area for the mess.”

The crew stood up, Wire and Heat put the chairs away and opted to stand back instead. Handing the TikTok star a clear-plastic tarp, the blonde placed it around’s the countertop’s base and spread it out. Then, he took off his top.

“Get out of the splash zone if you mind getting wet,” Killer directed to his crew.

“I like getting down and dirty, you know me,” Kid smirked, eagerly ripping his top off. The sun reflected off his golden nipple piercings and created a minor solar glare in the camera. Killer nudged him to move to make it stop. Kid complied while cautiously lowering his welders goggles over his face to keep his eyes free from foreign liquids.

Killer continued sliding rubber bands over the pressurized fruit. Then one snapped. Both he and Kid flinched slightly.

“No!” Killer pointed a stern finger at it. “We’re back down to 421.”

Everyone was noticeably sweatier than before. Whether that was due to the vicious sun rays beating down on their windows or anxiety from the impending explosion of sweet berry juice, viewers would never know.

“Kill, I think 433 is the limit,” Wire’s normally droopy and unbothered eyes were filled with stress, turning away slightly from the swollen fruit that was most definitely trembling. If someone were to snap a screenshot of his face, they would likely the image with text that would say something like: Moments before disaster strikes.

What happened in the next minute could only be described as mayhem.

As Killer grabbed the 434th rubber band, Wire and Heat began nervously backing up from their leaders. The sound of a rubber band snapping made them all flinch and back up slightly, however the fruit only marginally moved before it stilled once more. They all relaxed and resumed their original stances.

“Hey Killer! Hope I’m not too early for our plans tonight. I picked up—”

Killer was in the middle of spreading the replacement 433rd rubber band on the melon when a new person’s voice flowed in the kitchen. Killer turned his head to see who it was and missed the way the melon began vibrating on the spot. Heat, Wire, and Kid all took another step back but it was too late.

The watermelon exploded and ricocheted in two directions.

The top half of the fruit flew straight up in the air and out of frame of the camera only to come back into view and smash Sanji over the head as the French cook stepped into the kitchen to see what the house occupants were up to.

“—QUE DIABLE!” the short haired blonde exclaimed as he was knocked to the ground in a daze along with the grocery bags he brought.

At the same damn time, the lower half of the watermelon shot backwards into Kid’s chest. He tried to dodge the projectile but was too slow, taking the full impact on his collarbones as he was thrown backwards into Wire’s side, both of them tumbled to the ground.

Red slush spurted all over the kitchen, drowning Killer and Kid in juice, and marginally squirting Heat. Wire’s skin was spared thanks to his trusty cloak.

Heat was screaming, “HANG IN THERE LITTLE FRENCH DUDE! WE’LL PAY YOUR HOSPITAL BILL!”

The video froze and then did a quick rewind to the watermelon exploding again, in slow motion. It stopped at the frame that had both Kid and Sanji being hit by the melon halves. The image came out of focus slightly as large text floated over the frame reading the word: FATALITY.

After a four-second silence, a new scene took place. Kid, Wire, and Heat were happily sucking watermelon slushies through straws, the filter on the video had a dramatic sepia overlay as a Sarah McLachlan song played softly. More text floated down the video: In loving memory of the little French chef. Right underneath the ‘in memoriam’ were the ingredients and a small summary of the slushie recipe that disappeared after 10 seconds.

As “In the Arms of an Angel” played, Sanji could be seen kicking the shit out of Killer in the background.

“Sometimes we can still hear him,” Wire said mournfully as the redhead and bluette nodded in agreement.

“I’M STILL HERE YOU JACKASSES!” Sanji barked at them.

End of video.

BONUS: End of credit clip

The four housemates had washed the melon pulp off them and changed into clean clothes. Now joined by Sanji, aka Little French Chef, who stood next to the quartet wearing a spare set of goggles and borrowed clothes. Watching in anticipation as Killer slid rubber band #169 over a small, round pumpkin.

The gourd seemed to tremble slightly as a new voice could be heard in the background, “Hey Cook! Luffy wants to know when—”

The pumpkin snapped clean in half, sending fiber, pulp, and seeds everywhere. While the quintet managed to avoid the expulsion, the green-haired newcomer was not so prepared as he stepped into the kitchen and into the camera’s focus.

“—WHAT THE HELL!” Zoro screamed, dropping to his knees clutching his left eye.

“How the fuck do you people keep getting into my house?!?” Kid snapped in annoyance, pushing Sanji’s wheezing frame away from him as the blonde fell to the floor once more, in hysterics this time.

Zoro grunted out, “Door was unlocked and I know you bastards keep the good booze stocked up. The least you can do is send me home with a few bottles after you took out my EYE!”

The video ended with a sepia filter still-frame of Zoro mid-scream and mid-fall, the same Sarah McLachlan song played from before. Text slowly floated on to the screen to read: In loving memory of Idiot Swordsman’s left eye.

Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3

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xekutozoren · 3 months

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Terra: Mine.

Continuation of sorts from my Terraqua MMD comic - Unspoken Words. Read it here if you wish! So, I'm uploading a video OwO" The image above is a teaser. <w<

In short, it's Terra summarising and acknowledging all the pain Aqua went through. You don't know HOW long it took me to get the kiss part right. hehedasrightthere'sakissthistime > w >

Here's the actual video:

Jump to 0:43 (1:23 left if the video is only showing how much time left like it did for me) if you wanna skip the context and just see the actiony part.

And I know most people don't have much patience with videos, so this probably won't get noticed. But I'm posting it anyway, to be petty.

I did start by animating it and then promptly realised if I did that then I'll never be motivated to finish it, so you get an epic slideshow with cutscenes embedded instead.

And Fruits Basket music! Bc it's so beautiful and feelsy. No joke I got the idea for this video when I was going through the OST and it just hit me like a train.

And the track is so fitting! It's called "I'm the One Who's Always Saved"

Literally me when I had to rewatch all the Aqua pain moments for the sake of this video. You just don't get enough love for what you went through, Aqua. ; A ;

ALSO DID ANYONE REALISE THE WAY AQUA'S ARMOUR WAS POSITIONED WHEN SHE SAVED TERRA?! SHE'S EMBRACING HIM. I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER REALISED.

Now I want fanart of this smh

I figured if I just posted the video it would be too boring so I added all this random stuff as well. =w=

Anyway, I hope it reaches a few people's hearts. Especially if you're a Terraqua fan.

Shoutout to the peeps who gave me attention recently, y'all are great. > w <

CREDITS BBS models by Otzipai-Art Stage models by redRevolutionnaire, Square Enix & Disney, Vianesta and Hallow All cutscenes belong to Square Enix & Disney Fruits Basket OST by Masaru Yokoyama

#terraqua #terra x aqua #kingdom hearts #birth by sleep #kh aqua #kh terra #kh ventus #bbs

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calamariimpossible · 3 years

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Magicians on the internet, crypto, and the email that broke me.

This is a continuation of a twitter thread that Muz (@mzkrx) started to write out in his car but then when he plotted out his thoughts, it made more sense to him to put it down in a blog format rather than a thread. You'll find out why as you read through.

Stuck in the car for half an hour so I'm gonna do a thread (Editor's note: Now a whole-ass blog post) about a strange email I got recently.

So I was casually watching magic tricks on YouTube. the funnest part of which to me is reading the comments. YouTube commenters love explaining how they think the trick is done and it's fun to read through their theories and connect dots between similar tricks, etc.

And then one time as I was scrolling I noticed a comment that didn't make sense. It was a string of an almost sentence. Intelligible enough to not be random words but odd enough to read like a trigger phrase for something.

The closest I can describe it as is like the string Zemo used to wake up the Winter Soldier, but with some syntax to it. Like "many thermos wiggle throughout exotic harbinger of circle ascending fuchsia entrapment".

Initially I thought nothing of it, but then I kept seeing them in these magic trick video comment sections. They're never the same string, and it's always under magic trick videos. from different channels even.

Hmmm.

The profiles that posted these comments are also always blank accounts with zero videos and no profile pic. Just their name. I felt like it was too much of a coincidence for these comments to only be under magic trick videos.

I also knew that the world of performance magic is thick with secrets. That is to say, there is deliberate obfuscation of information whenever you try to go online to find out how a trick works.

Magicians get together online and share information with each other just like performers of every other sort as well but the amount of code and doublespeak they use is an order of magnitude more annoying to decipher compared to say, an engineering message board or a gamedev forum.

Knowing that, I thought maybe this almost parsable gibberish I keep seeing everywhere was also some kind of code these people were using to talk to each other.

So I started investigating.

First things first, let's just Google one of the phrases. Maybe that's enough?

And it sorta was.

Pasting them onto the search bar lent me to only 1 result (wild!) and it was a website that looked really dank. Like geocities dank. Annoying neon colours and badly margined jpegs of tarot card images everywhere and a big bold header text that said something to the effect of:

"Congratulations, you've found our hidden message. This portal is only for those seeking knowledge beyond what is on the surface. Continue below."

* * *

I haven't been doing well. I feel like I say that too much. I say it on Patreon, on my personal podcast, whenever any of my friends ask me how I'm doing, pretty much everywhere. I feel very heavy. I understand I'm not the only one feeling like this during a pandemic.

Duh.

But I have this other version of worry that I can't quite articulate until right now: I'm scared I won't be funny anymore. Anwar and Farid can attest that even during our recordings I don't feel up to being funny. I question my jokes a lot. I barely enjoy telling them. I'm worried I'm letting everyone down.

To me, silliness and absurdism as virtues only make sense when the world has trace amounts of injustice and wrongness that training ourselves to see it in our everyday helps us remind ourselves of what is just and fair. The more we consume silliness, the more we are able to recognize silly and point it out. So we don't ignore it when things go wrong, so we talk about it, manage it. So we can take care of each other.

Maybe I can't be sure if we're all up for taking care of each other right now.

* * *

"Continue below" seems instructive, but it wasn't. Like I mentioned, the margins were haphazard and the CSS was all over the place. Some jpegs were straight up cropped off.

Meaning I can't be sure what "below" meant. But there were clickable images and text so I was readily intrigued.

It was tantalizing. Did I stumble into some secret order of Extremely Online Magicians? Maybe I'll finally find out why there aren't many female magicians out there. Maybe it's some sort of secret initiation to a secret message board full of secrety secrets. Secretly.

Y'all.

I didn't click on any of the linked images or anything. I closed the tab. That was the end of that.

An earlier version of myself would gladly run headlong into this rabbit hole to find out more and sink hours into some goddessforsaken labyrinth of links. But the current version of me recognizes this for what it almost certainly is: an abandoned roleplaying game.

Back in the early 00s when the internet was the realm of nerds and nerds only, it was full of people who loved sharing things for sharing's sake. It used to be punk rock to maintain a blog that only talked about snails or have a lo-fi YouTube channel that uploads biweekly 3-minute news about your house, or manage a little message board where people roleplay as wizards who rummage around the net looking for clues.

That last part was a thing I remember being actively involved in. In '03, a group of online friends and I wrote up a scavenger hunt of sorts where we sent people through various blog pages that we have where the goal is to just dick around and have fun. We wasted each other's time for sure. Hundreds of hours of it for literally no gain at all but for some laughs and fun memories.

The internet isn't like that anymore. People don't share something online for sharing anymore. Not really. There's this idea that if you put stuff out there, you want people's attention because numbers are good. You get a lotta reblogs and RTs and Likes which means people Like you.

If you don't have a lotta numbers, you don't matter. If you do, everyone has to talk about what you said or did because it's 'News' now.

Isn't that kinda gross, you think? That we need people to interact through an app to be sure that we're Liked? I say "we" but I mean me. I've successfully poisoned my brain to believe this to a certain extent too and it's not good.

I felt myself physically react when I closed that geocities magician website tab. I shuddered because my brain went from "this is cool" to "I gotta let people know I found this" to "this'll get me hella RTs" to "ew Muz why did you think that" within 3 seconds and I was disgusted with myself.

As a dude who started my online presence on YouTube and parlayed it into my real life comedy/writing career, I've believed for a long time that doing good work and putting it out there is what it takes for a working creative to make it because that's what I did. So there's this idea that making stuff and having it be seen is some kind of virtuous.

But it's not anymore. People pick fights with children for clout. Newspapers post about people's tweets as if its important. People are investing in crypto, a thing that literally only exists as electrical waste on a grand scale. We're boiling the oceans to yell at each other over nothing and exchange bits of code everyone agrees has ever-rising value but doesn't. Everyone is making and eating junk, it feels like.

So am I making junk? Have I just been making useless junk for literally over a decade now? Is that what I've been good for this entire time?

* * *

So the email.

It was a response from a company I applied to for a job. I applied as a creative writer and they're an advertising agency.

Receiving emails from a prospective employer when you're in need of a job is exciting! So soon after I applied, too. Wonderful. Here's what it said:

We just received your application today but would love to extend the opportunity for you to participate in the Case Competition as a prerequisite of your job application for Creative Writer position with [REDACTED] and stand a chance to be a winner for cash awards up to a total worth of RM1,800.

Yea.

They want me to enter a competition where I compete with other candidates to get a chance of being hired.

This company saw how many people applied for a job with them, and decided to dangle some cash and throw it over the fence to see which candidate will fight for it the most.

I didn't expect to feel vomitous after reading an email but that did it. I almost dry heaved. That's where we are now.

Recruiters see a glut of applicants and decided to play Fall Guys. These people watch Istana Takeshi and think Takeshi is the good guy. It hurts. It hurt me. That email caused me pain.

I can't at all empathise with recruiters who think this was okay to do. They really believed that creative writers will do a little dance for them just for money.

Look, I know we all need to eat. But I can also hate that people undervalue the work of creatives to this painful extent.

I don't give a shit about earning a lot of dough. I just wanna make things that tickle people. I want you to smile more.

That's the whole point of that weird little YouTube comment that led to the quirky website. That's the whole idea of making silly videos and dumb tweets and memes. We just want you to laugh.

But it seems people think so little of joy that they'll do whatever they can to avoid legitimately supporting and paying for stuff that gets them through the day. So much so that they want free work from us for the potential of maybe being able to get paid for more work. It breaks me, man.

I hate that I cannot make a living just trying my best to make people happy.

That's the best way I know to take care of you.

I know I don't just 'make junk' for a living. People have messaged me personally that my work has helped them get through tough times in school, in their relationships, at the office and I am eternally grateful that they took the time to tell me that.

I just also wish my feelings about my work aren't easily brought down by the majority of people who insist its worthless. Even if sometimes those people is me.

So forgive me if I won't be funny for a while. I'm gonna need some time to process this. Thank you for reading. I love you.

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sirchubbybunny · 4 years

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Re: We've Done Nothing? What Have You Done?

I'm rewatching Stevie's recent video that went up about an hour ago, and, fuck, I'm so tired.

If you haven't seen the video, I recommend that you do because it's great and sums up how exhausting this shit is. It's a video response to someone who is vague vlogging about how Deity is stupid and gullible to trust Vincent, not like we all got lied to or anything. This person's whole shit gets derailed by insinuating that people are only talking about Greg for clicks and money, and not that people actually care about the victims.

youtube

I'm so, so fucking tired of this. It's so tiring, and I'd like to hope at least a fraction of the people here can understand why this is such a smug, backhanded, and insulting thing to even insinuate. You didn't even have to be in the community for more than two years to get why this is a slap in the damn face.

As an aside before I go further, this isn't an attack on those who genuinely had no idea what kind of a person Greg is. He's a manipulative monster who has been able to fool people for a long time, and many of us in the anti-o community were once long-time fans. I know I was. There's a lot of stuff many people don't know, and horrors we may never know fully - and that's the concerning part about someone like Greg, because we might never know the full extent to how many victims he has.

This is towards the people like the one Stevie is responding to who like to spin a bullshit narrative and reduce everything we've done and been trying to get people to care about to being a game to get money and views. This is to the people who have called the anti-o community and his critics petty losers and never wanted to take this situation seriously; especially corporations like Twitter and YouTube that still don't care.

________________________________________

I'm fucking tired of seeing people who didn't know who Greg was until last Tuesday who are coming in here acting like they know more than us and the shit we've seen. I'm pretty sure 90% of the people who show up to the Hansen streams are just here for the drama and a free show, and not because they actually care or had either have experience with what kind of a disposable bastard Greg is. Everything is a meme and a joke to some people, judging from the special type of viewers who spammed last night's Hansen stream with "Kai is Crying" memes while Chris was talking about the police report involving Greg and Kai's daughter falling out a two-story window and having MULTIPLE SKULL FRACTURES.

As Stevie said, we've spent over 10 fucking years trying to get him deplatformed and held accountable for his actions. We've been screaming and banging on pots and pans for people to give two shits about what was going on. We didn't wake up one day and decide we were going to fuck with a one-hit wonder numbskull who is stuck in 2008 for the lulz. UwU

All of this has amounted to something, and to act like we did nothing is absolute bullshit. It's goddamn disgusting honestly, and I'm sure the lot of you have no idea what kind of toll this took on many of us physically and mentally to know that we've been screaming for people to care, which nobody did until now, and how damaging it is to see the inferno in front of you and you could only do so much to dampen the flames.

Seriously, what the fuck were you doing? No, seriously. Where the fuck were you high and mighty shitheels when even a fraction of this was happening and what did you do to help?

Where the fuck were you when Greg was sending his stupid fans to send his ex-wife explicit, horrific rape and death threats to where she had to drop off the Internet?

Where the fuck were you when he was laughing at victims of rape on his forum?

Where the fuck were you when he publicly told his underage fans in abusive homes that they get everything they deserve?

Where the fuck were you when he was grooming minors out in the open?

Where the fuck were you when he caused his fans with histories of self-harm and eating disorders to relapse?

Where the fuck were you when he was caught on camera screaming at his kids?

Where the fuck were you when he videotaped an ex having a stress induced grand mal seizure, and uploaded it for views?

Where the fuck shit were you when he was terrorizing and manipulating victims into signing bullshit contracts to have leverage over them?

Seriously, where the fuck were clowns like you who have a superiority complex and act like you know more about the shit we've seen when it's come to interacting with him? We've been brushed off and ignored for years to where we could have been dubbed tinfoil hat freaks, and now that Onion Boy is finally being dragged into the public eye in a way that can't be denied anymore, now people want to proclaim that we're the vultures here. Shut the fuck up with your fake ass empathy, acting like you genuinely care when you don't.

I don't know who is more parasitic at this point; Onion Boy's fans who still defend him, the clowns who are treating this entire situation like a spicy drama series of a joke (not like literal children are being abused and exploited), or asshats like the person he's replying to who don't know what the fuck they're talking about and that just because they spent ten minutes seeing news drama channels that they're suddenly an expert on this.

We've been doing the goddamn work to bring attention to this and stand up for his victims. What were you doing? Get the fuck out of here. You're no better than the edgy meme-loving spammers I mentioned earlier, because you're adding absolutely nothing to the conversation at hand.

I'm sick of Greg getting away with his unspeakable, abusive shit.

I'm sick of numbskull fuckheads defending him; even with mountains of evidence out there from his own damn slack jaw, smug ass mouth.

But, you know what? I'm tired of people like you who are the real vultures milking this damn shit dry. Get the fuck out of here, stay in your goddamn lane, and shove your fake sincerity up your ass.

JFC, I need a cigarette and I'm sure I aged 15 years trying to write this. This has been an exhausting long time coming, and I'm so tired of having the displeasure of knowing people like this exist and are chiming in on shit they don't know what they're talking about. I'm out for now, y'all. I'll see you guys later on when I'm not seeing red and my pain isn't flaring up.

/endrant

#onision #rant #vent

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theeagerone · 4 years

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Timing

I used to be pretty upset that I wasn't born earlier. I wanted to live the 70s and 80s SO bad. I now feel immensely grateful for being born when I was. I feel lucky to be a bridge between the old & new world. I feel both prepared & overwhelmed to keep accepting further tools of technology; it's invasive & terrifying for some levels, and a healthy & privileged place to find myself in for others. I am actually very behind in current media trends as I haven't regularly watched TV since I was 18, don't follow any podcasts, and don't receive updates from or check a particular news source regularly.

I remember:

- Getting introduced to the 1st popular PCs in kindergarten

- My mom getting a cellphone larger than a brick screwed in to the floor of her car

- When all u could do in computer lab was typing classes & play academic games & Oregon Trail.

- Learning the catalogue system at the library - books and journals were all we had to do our 1st research papers.

- Watching the old MTV with my baybsitters & cousins, before reality TV existed

- Getting off the school bus every day since 3rd or 4th grade to bounce bw MTV & VH1 to see the latest music videos, classic 'Pop-Up Videos'

- Eating Lunchables & Fruit Roll Ups & Dunkaroos & all kinds of weird food when the child's food market & advertising really took off

- When the 1st Emac came out in middle school and they were incredible to behold w their rainbow bright cases

- When dial-up took 5 minutes & learning what e-mail was & browsing AOL chat rooms & staying up late sending hundreds of IMs with my middle school boyfriends on AIM (my s/n: iwannaROCKwithu3).

- When I spent hours each night researching, downloading, & evaluating music on Kazaa - When I spent hours making playlist CDs for my friends and it was the greatest, most precious gift to receive one.

- When I got my own personal phone line in middle school with a leopard faux fur cord phone. I talked for hours & hours with my love interest of the moment and learned deeply about my friend's lives & struggles.

- When Google & AskJeeves.com came out and I thought that was insane & brilliant, that you could ask anything and there would be some kind of answer.

- Slowly abandoning AIM for Myspace at 15.

- Getting my 1st phone (a RAZR) at 15 & being amazed I could take pictures of everything. I didn't have text msging all of high school bc it cost extra (thank God).

- Cruising down the road in 2005 in my GMC Jimmy, so happy to blast classic rock radio & ATL college stations bc that's all I had besides a tape deck. I sometimes connected my walkman to the tape deck to play CDs

- After school driving a car full of friends to play for hours at the river, only using our phones when we were ready to leave or needed to check in w someone

- The night my phone automatically dialed "Home" as I was running from a party to get in my car and my mom received a 5 minute long recording of me screaming at my friends to "jump in the Fing car"and all of us cussing and cutting up as I drove back to our sleepover. I got in huge trouble for driving ppl within the 1st 6 mos of having my license, got my car taken away, and realized that maybe this new exciting concept of 'speed dial' was not a good idea

- When I was 16 & heard about Youtube - the only videos I knew to exist were SHOES, muffins, & GEORGE WASHINGTON. We all laughed about them for weeks.

- When I abandoned Myspace for Facebook at 17

- When you didn't share every detail of your damn life. When you uploaded pictures you were proud of & maybe wrote on your friend's wall to say hi or whatever

- When a band measured their worth w Myspace. The whole reason I felt confident becoming a singer was bc my 1st band Bro & the Brahs w Daniel had something like 1,500 views within a couple weeks of posting our 1st single & I met ppl on campus who had heard our song before they knew who I was.

- When I got to college and we were wild & free for the 1st time in our lives & could have fun together without checking our phones, explore, learn where to go by word of mouth (SO MANY epic gatherings & house parties, cool shows (Slaughterhouse!!) and we could listen & share music forever without anything to distract us. Some of my best memories of college are laying around with friends for hours uninterrupted, crying to records. Spending days in a daze and knowing that was the last time I could do that without a better excuse.

WE KNEW IT WAS THE END OF LIFE AS WE HAD EXPERIENCED IT. WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. WE WERE ABLE TO BE OUR YOUNG SELVES IN A FREE WORLD TO A CERTAIN DEGREE THAT WOULD NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN. WE ARE INTUITIVE WITH TECHNOLOGY THOUGH WE WATCHED THINGS CHANGE AND IT SIMULTANEOUSLY TERRIFIED AND THRILLED US.

Many of us had breakdowns as we became aware of the realer history & overloaded with information as world news became widespread on Twitter, Facebook, etc. by the time I turned 20. I don't understand why boomers or anyone else wants to continue attacking millennials - y'all created us and this. Take a look in the mirror. We are doing the best we can with the constant onslaught of information, adaptation, devastation, disintegration, deforestation, false expectations, infiltration, mutilation, militarization, mechanization, lack of preservation, growing polarization, toxic capitalization, nations built by unimaginable violations.

I am sincerely hopeful & passionate about what happens next. What we are paying attention to, giving to, creating for, maintaining, and fighting for matters. I wish to take an active role in the movement of self-love, actualization, and self-awareness. Where mindfulness with our technology exists, we all deeply know who we are without social media personas and apps to help us "live better lives" as we ________ or ________. Where instead of posting about a major issue affecting our communities we hold ourselves accountable to make the necessary phone calls, attend and gather the necessary people who wish to change something, and make tangible goals and missions that resist debate and politicization. A context which encourages experimentation, where "just doing it" matters & doesn't need to be recorded. When we can remind ourselves to halt the dopamine rush fed by perfectly packaged things and targeted information for our soul's desires. Where we can press pause on the incessant need to debate the current and loosen the grips of anxiety about the future. Where we focus on what's directly in front of us and tap into what it has meant for 200,000 years to be HUMAN.

#milennial #milennials #generation y #technology #humanization #self love #self care #self actualization #writing #manifesto #vision for the future #vision #more human #less tech

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septicsavvy · 5 years

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What was 2018 for me?

Hey y'all. So this last half of the year, I haven't been as active as I'd like to be in this community, which is a real shame, So I thought I'd share with you all why that is and what my plans are moving forward. This post will be extremely long so don't feel like you have to read through all of it. I just feel like I could use a little therapy session while also explaining myself to all of you. TW for depression, substance abuse, and... gross hospital stuff? Idk. Just know you've been warned.

The beginning of this year was phenomenal. We started out the wave of PMA and I hadn't felt that good in a really long time. I was incredibly motivated and excited to make change in my life. I had two part-time jobs at the end of 2017, but coming into 2018 I was offered a full time job with one employee, so I took it. Having that job allowed me to go to the HDWGH show for a second time AND bring my mom and sister as VIPs! Just a week later, I had my experience at Pax where I got to meet Jack in person, which was a rollercoaster of emotions for me.

During the spring, I had gone back to school to get my AA degree (that's a whole other complicated story), which was honestly great! I finally had my license and could drive to school anf work myself which gave me a lot of self-confidence, independence, and responsibility. Over time, work was getting to be too much for me on a social and emotional level, so I made the choice to quit. It wasn't easy, but I'm still glad I did it, for my own mental health.

Overall, the first quarter of the year was amazing. I was home with my family, living more responsibly and great things were happening here within the community. May of this year is when my life started to change for the worse, though.

You see, in October of 2017, my father was in a car accident and was deemed "at fault". We previously had some issues with our insurance overcharging us so we had to cancel while we found something else. It was during this brief time that the accident happened. Without any insurance, the other party sued us for $34,000 even though their insurance covered everything on their end. They came after us and relentlessly attacked my father over social media about it. To this day, I'm still not exactly sure how the accident happened, as it happened at 5am and my dad doesn't remember it.

My dad's dealt with pain all his life. He's had multiple surgeries on his back, his knees, and his feet. In 2010, he was diagnosed with colon cancer and was put on Fentanyl. He takes that and Oxycodone for his pain on a daily basis, but what they give him still doesn't help. Unable to sleep from all the pain, he takes Ambien. I believe that the night before the accident he took that Ambien which caused him to sleep walk, get into the car and crash into another person.

Regardless of what happened, the man he hit and his wife both mercilessly and publicly prayed that "this monster is never able to drive again". And they got their wish. In May of this year, my dad went in for a laminectomy, which is a type of back surgery, as a result of his injuries from the accident. While the man he hit did go through PT for a while, he has fully recovered and went back to work, while my father came out of the surgery paralyzed from the waist down.

For the last 8 months my dad has been unable to walk, which has uprooted our entire lives. He spent some time in a Skilled Nursing Facility for physical therapy, but due to poor workplace performance, he was sent back to the hospital three times. He had been starting to regain some feeling in his legs and was able to walk down a hallway with assistance. But he ended up with a terrible bed sore on his lower back, the infection of which started eating through to the bone. He needed yet another back surgery and the doctors said the wound would need at least a year to heal and he was unable to participate in any sort of physical therapy.

He's regressed both physically and emotionally. He's experiencing severe depression from the state that he's in, which hurts my heart. But at the same time, the way he takes his medication, and the amount he takes at one time, causes him to have acute toxic delirium. I won't go into too much detail on it, but basically it means his mental state is a joke. It's impossible to be around him, but we can't just leave him like this.

Though it feels somewhat wrong to me, my father is suing the hospital, the doctor who performed the surgery that paralyzed him, and the nursing facility that gave him the infected bedsore. We have no idea how long the process will take or how much we would get if we won. No matter the amount, it's highly likely all of that would end up going to cover the cost of all his hospital bills and perhaps time in another facility. He's at home now and we simply can't care for him in the condition he's in, but his insurance only covers 100 days in a facility, so we don't have any other options.

Life at home was rough, and it definitely started to get to me emotionally. As a result of all that stuff, I uploaded a vlog on my YouTube channel called "Real Talk: Motivation Is Hard" and in that video, I talked about how I was going to start making physical changes in my life. I joined a gym and started working out with my friend over the summer, while also trying to change my diet. I knew it would be hard going into it, but I knew I had to push through with a positive mental attitude and eventually it would get better.

Except it didn't. Four months of regular exercise and eating healthy only made me feel worse. I was more tired than I usually am and constantly hungry no matter how much I ate. It seemed that the more I worked on my body and health, the worse I felt. Crazy as it sounds, I made the choice to stop working out and change my diet back in order to feel better. Physically, that worked. While I did start to feel better than I did when I was working out, I simply regressed to the old way that I felt, which still wasn't healthy at all. This disappointed me, as you can imagine.

Now what? As my 23rd birthday rolled around, I was left out of college with no job, a weak body, and a depressed mental state. But at least I had this community, right?

I already talked about why I took my break over summer and my, then, feelings about Jack and the channel, so I won't go into detail, but if you didn't know about it, you can read it here.

So I took my break from Tumblr, I moved back to Chicago and suddenly my world shifted again. I had time to reflect, I was away from home and I got to focus more on my writing. I don't think I'm fully over everything that's happened this year, but mentally I'm feeling a lot better. I've made peace regarding my feelings about the community and I'm continuing to work through my feelings with my father.

Going into 2019, my main focus will be finishing my Bachelor's degree. I graduate in a few months and I have some big plans for my creative endeavors. I plan to take more time for self care, which will involve me making a lot more fan art. I will still work towards a healthier body but maybe I'll take it just a bit slower, like starting by cutting excess sugar out of my diet and being more mindful of why I feel a certain way. But more than anything, I'm going to try my best to "leave it in the day". Sometimes life will throw curve balls, and in the new year, I'll do my best to overcome those.

I don't know where the second half of next year will take me, but I hope you'll all be here for me while I figure it out. I'm endlessly grateful for you all. I hope you all find comfort and joy in the new year. Thank you all for your support.

#jacksepticeye #pma #what was 2018 #thank you all for your support

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denimini · 6 years

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Fellow Jikook shippers,

I know that there are photos of Jk being on a "date" with T and having his camera with him circulating on Twitter as well as tumblr. Because of this I saw several very dramatic people claiming Jk was making another G.C.F and that G.C.F in Tokyo wasn't special, that Jm was not his muse, that they were giving up on Jikook and etc.

I am here to say a few things, calm your minds a little bit and give some input on all the speculations:

1. T & Jk on a date? : The members are allowed to hang out and enjoy a meal together. Two friends can have dinner/lunch/coffee without it being a date. Why think it's a date in the first place? We have no clue if this was one whatsoever, only speculations. All the members have been seen hanging out separately before as well as with other friends. Is Tae dating his actor friends when he goes out with them and they upload photos? Is Jimin dating Taemin because he enjoys spending time with him? Think with your heads people and not your heart. Two members eating/spending time together is normal. But still to date Jikook are the only one confirmed to have travelled together, in their free time nonetheless. So, take that into consideration.

2. Jk filmed? : Jk brings his camera absolutely everywhere. He took it with him to shows recordings in L.A , he takes it when they film the Run episodes. He films everything from food to people. He is keen on filming, he enjoys it and he is doing it all the time regarding when, where or with who.

3. He filmed T? : So what? He might have shot a few pics or a video, it doesn't really matter. He has filmed all the other members before I am sure of it. He took photos of RM and Jhope, filmed Jin's birthday. I am sure he has tons of footage of everyone saved somewhere.

4. Jimin is not his muse?: we have no way to know for sure if Jm is Jk's muse or not but we can make an educated guess here. He is very much likely not the only thing Jk films (the bunny is in love with filming after all) but he is definitely a big inspiration for him. Since a long time ago Jk has filmed Jm. We have a lot of sleeping pics courtesy of Jungkook to prove that. We got the L.A blue and yellow photo, Jk filming Jm on Jin's birthday. Let's not forget the iconic "sky and people" as well. He said it looking at Jm, he pointed at him, even RM turned and looked at Jm. And ofc let's take a minute to appreciate G.C.F in Tokyo. So, most probably Jimin is not the only subject of Jk's photography and films but he is no doubt a very much preferred one. Jk said so himself, he sees Jm as his on and off stage stimulant. Take this as you want.

5. Another G.C.F? : For the 100th time: Jk loves to film. He enjoys it very much. So another Golden Closet Film will probably happen at some point in the future. Let's be realistic, I doubt Jk's passion for film will die out with just one video. I for one sure hope he releases more of his work to us because I think he is really talented. So another G.C.F will most probably happen in the future. But we have no idea what he filmed now, for what purposes and if/when he will release another video.

6. G.C.F with T?: Jk spends the most time with the other members so it is entirely possible for them to be featured in his videos. But again, the claim that he is releasing another G.C.F any time soon and one featuring any member of the band is pure speculations. I will repeat: we don't know why he was filming. Why immediately say he will publish a new video? I saw a lot of shippers of tae//kook praying for it to be true. Very hypocritical of them considering they were the ones saying G.C.F in Tokyo is just brotherly or fan service. They said the video was proof of Jikook being a cover up and that the fact Jk didn't film T proved their ship real. And now they have their fingers crossed for a G.C.F of their own? Make up your mind people!

7. G.C.F in Tokyo not being special anymore?: Guys, I will say it again - at this moment there is no proof of another video other than Jk bringing his camera with him (which he always does). So, G.C.F in Tokyo is still the only one and is special. And even if Jk posts another one, even if it is with T, G.C.F in Tokyo would still be special. Because it was his first video, bc it was only Jm in it, bc of the music, the slow motion scenes, because of the trip itself and how they can't shut up about it. It's not just the video, it is the whole trip in itself. And, if there is another video who says the two will even be comparable? The way it would be filmed would probably be totally different. I for example have a bunch of videos of my family, friends and boyfriend. All of them are special to me but they don't look or feel the same. We will have to wait and see to compare. If there even is something to compare because as of right now G.C.F in Tokyo is the only video Jk has published!

8. Abandoning the ship?: Come on, guys! We have been through this before. We don't have to be overdramatic. We have amazing moments all the time, we are so well fed. What if two members went to eat together? What if they took videos/pictures? It is normal and nothing to worry about. And should we not enjoy Jikook no matter what simply because we like their interactions regarding if they are or not together?

9. X ship seem more real? : Shipping is not a competion y'all. It is not about who has more "prooves" or looks more "real". It is about enjoying the dynamics between two people. We don't have a way to know who is dating who so don't fall into the ship wars/twitter traps. Enjoy shipping and let other people enjoy it too. In fact I am somehow glad they finally have a true moment bc maybe now they will shut up with the cover up/Bh separating them bullsh*t . Shipping is all in the sphere of fun and it shouldn't be taken too literally.

10. Hating on a certain member?: Never ever do this if you consider yourself a true fan! Even if Jikook is not real, even if they date other people, even of these people are from the band always support and love our boys ! They deserve it !!!

Conclusion: don't spend too much time worrying what other ships do or what moments they have. Stay in your lane and enjoy our moments! Don't engage into ship wars and petty arguments. Show the other ships that always blame us that we are mature! Also, trust our captains Jimin and Jk . They always feed us well. In fact go look at what Jm uploaded at the Japanese fan cafe to have some sweetness in your life!

Here is a picture of the sleeping beauty PJM taken by Kook himself to keep you warm and brighten your day !

P.S Always censor ship names! We don't want any wars here!

#jikook #kookmin #be mature

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty)

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe.

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens.

youtube

Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I��m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me.

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind!

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting.

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them!

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass.

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

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15 internet moments in 2018 that made us scream 'NOPE'

*unintelligible screaming*

We're only halfway through 2018, but it already appears to be the year of loudly yelling at the internet every 20 minutes or so.

From insensitive YouTube videos and mortifying viral challenges, to disturbing makeup trends and abhorrent tweets, the online world has truly tested our patience these past six months.

SEE ALSO: Elizabeth Warren got a new puppy because everything else is bad

Here are 15 of the biggest NOPE moments the internet had to offer this year. They'll be tough to re-live for sure, but let them inspire us all to be better online contributors in the future.

1. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Logan Paul saga

YouTuber Logan Paul kicked off 2018 in one of the worst ways imaginable. On New Year's Eve, Paul shared a video with his 15 million subscribers that contained footage of an apparent victim of suicide he found in Japan's Aokigahara forest.

After the video received a serious amount of backlash, Paul apologized, claiming he "intended to raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention," but in the weeks that followed the situation only grew worse.

Dear Internet, pic.twitter.com/42OCDBhiWg

— Logan Paul (@LoganPaul) January 2, 2018

A supercut of Paul's trip to Japan, which showed him severely disrespecting Japanese culture, went viral. He was dragged for an insensitive comment he left on Cardi B's Instagram, and admitted he wasn't making content with his younger fan base in mind.

In wake of the vlog backlash, Paul did make an effort to advocate for suicide prevention by pledging to donate a total of $1 million to various suicide prevention organizations, but that didn't erase all the pain and disgust his careless video caused viewers.

2. The painfully embarrassing Tide Pod Challenge

The year has already birthed a number of viral challenges, but none have proven to be as foolish and potentially deadly as the Tide Pod Challenge.

After teens started recording and sharing videos of themselves frying and "eating" poisonous soap-filled pouches known as Tide Pods, YouTube had to step in and take action. Tide Pods videos were pulled from the site, but the damage was done.

Tide Pod inspired pizza, doughnuts, sushi, and shots were created, and things wound up getting so out of hand that stores had to LOCK UP THE DELICIOUS LOOKING DETERGENT. UGH! Humans sometimes, honestly!

y’all really joked around so much that tide put their tide pods in plastic boxes...smh pic.twitter.com/Z44efALcX5

— ㅤnavid (@NavidHasan_) January 13, 2018

3. Meals cooked in a MOUTH

The first half of 2018 was also when we learned about this chef who cooks meals using only her freaking mouth. She preps turkey stuffing, steak tartare, pancakes, and even a smoothie using her teeth and saliva, then uploads the videos to YouTube. We don't care if it's "performance art," it's A LOT to comprehend, so can we get a NOPE over here?

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4. When someone tried to make teeth nails a thing

Some bizarre beauty trends have popped up in 2018, but teeth nails took things way too far.

Instagram user @nail_sunny cursed feeds everywhere by sharing a video of regular old nails being transformed to resemble human teeth. The cringeworthy footage was set to Drake's "God's Plan," and IDK about you but I prefer the original music video a whole lot more.

A post shared by Nail Sunny Loves FIFA 2018 (@nail_sunny) on May 8, 2018 at 9:07am PDT

5. Kanye West's tumultuous Twitter return

In 2018, Kanye West decided it was time to tweet again and fans had NO idea what they were in for.

Since April 13, 2018, when Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey welcomed the rapper back to the platform, Kanye has taken his 28 million followers on a dramatic roller coaster filled with tattoo designs, fashion photo shoots, the deepest of musings, album release dates, controversial comments on slavery, and a whole lot of love for Donald Trump.

pic.twitter.com/YyUw0mCKov

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) April 25, 2018

Watching Kanye's feed over the past few months has truly been exhausting, even for his IRL friends.

6. Pelican takeover

A real-life horror film was shot at the 2018 Pepperdine University graduation when very large pelicans swarmed the ceremony and wreaked havoc on attendees.

Things got so intense that security had to step in, and, after all their intruding, the birds didn't even get diplomas.

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7. Elon Musk hating on journalists

Grimes' boyfriend gave President Trump a rest and decided to share his own thoughts about the media via Twitter. Musk announced he plans to create "a media credibility rating site" that will allow the public to review the truth of individual articles, journalists, editors, and publications.

Going to create a site where the public can rate the core truth of any article & track the credibility score over time of each journalist, editor & publication. Thinking of calling it Pravda …

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 23, 2018

Despite the fact that his girlfriend's mom is a journalist, Musk carried on with his anti-media rant, explaining his belief that the journalist's lack of credibility is the reason Trump was elected in the first place. 🙃

8. The Nukebook

Japanese graphic designer Shusaku Takaoka shared a horrifying recreation of the iconic image from The Notebook that will probably ruin your life.

Normally, the photo from the romantic film, based off a Nicholas Sparks novel, shows stars Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams embracing in the rain. But Takaoka replaced the actors with Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un to give the internet the following painful sight.

A post shared by shusaku takaoka (@shusaku1977) on Jun 12, 2018 at 6:50pm PDT

2018, please be nicer to us!

9. BBC imagining the "perfect body"

In a terrifying video shared by BBC, anatomist Alice Roberts examined an advanced model of the perfect human body. It had enlarged eyes and ears, a chimp's lower back, emu legs, a breast-less chest, the heart of a dog, and lungs of a swan. And oh yeah, did we forget to mention A BABY POPPING OUT OF A MARSUPIAL POUCH? NOPE!

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10. The IHOb hype

The International House of Pancakes (aka IHOP) really tested everyone's patience in 2018. The chain restaurant, best known for its breakfast food, decided to unleash a long, drawn out, and very secretive marketing campaign in which it would re-brand from IHOP to IHOb.

Mashable figured out the "b" stood for burgers before the big announcement, but IHOP made everyone wait an entire week before officially revealing the burger news. So extra.

For 60 pancakin’ years, we’ve been IHOP. Now, we’re flippin’ our name to IHOb. Find out what it could b on 6.11.18. #IHOb pic.twitter.com/evSxKV3QmT

— IHOb (@IHOb) June 4, 2018

11. Millie Bobby Brown leaving Twitter

Twitter hit an especially low point when Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown left the platform in June after becoming the subject of a hateful meme.

It all started when the hashtag #TakeDownMillieBobbyBrown — which was started in 2017 by the now suspended Twitter user @KelsFiona — resurfaced online. In response, people began sharing false stories, negative memes, and fake Snapchat photos claiming that Millie is homophobic.

i think it’s time i share my #TakeDownMillieBobbyBrown story... i was at my local starbucks, and milky boobie brown comes in so i asked her for a picture. then she PEES in my drink! then she called me a “fat chicken dyke” and put a straw in my nose! i’ve never been so ashamed.

— Laurane :) (@Laurie________) June 5, 2018

After the 14-year-old anti-bullying advocate — yes, she has an entire side Twitter account dedicated to spreading love and kindness — endured a substantial amount of trolling she deactivated her account. How are those anti-harassment plans coming, @Jack?

12. BBQ Becky, Permit Patty, and Pool Patrol Paula

Meme's don't always stem from lighthearted events, and 2018 has proved that with BBQ Becky, Permit Patty, and Pool Patrol Paula.

In May, an Oakland woman named Jennifer Schulte called the police on two black men who she believed were grilling in a park without a permit. After a video, which captured the woman's interaction with the men and phone call to the police went viral, Twitter users slammed her for racial profiling and she came to be known by meme-makers as "BBQ Becky."

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A month later, Alison Ettel called the police on an 8-year-old girl for selling water on a sidewalk. Ettel was also transformed into a meme, dubbed "Permit Patty," and her harsh actions against a child of color were condemned by many.

We gotta new meme tho y'all #PermitPatty pic.twitter.com/DW3TFjRzn4

— Racist Raj 🌹 (@_ethiopiangold) June 23, 2018

Less than a week later, a third white woman — 38-year-old Stephanie Sebby-Strempel (now known to the internet as "Pool Patrol Paula") — was charged with assaulting a 15-year-old black boy at a public pool after reportedly yelling racial slurs. A video showing part of the confrontation was posted to Facebook, and the #PoolPatrolPaula hashtag was started to raise awareness of her unacceptable behavior.

In light of this utterly disappointing trend, Mashable created a list of 5 things white people can do before calling the cops on a black person. Please read it.

13. Roseanne's racist remarks

In June, actress and comedian Roseanne Barr tweeted a racist remark about President Obama's former black female advisor, Valerie Jarrett.

Barr's tweet received a serious amount of backlash. In response, the actress deleted the tweet, claimed she was just joking, and then tried to blame Ambien for her actions. Ultimately, the tweet led to her show being cancelled, her agent dropping her, and a her taking a short leave of absence from the social media platform.

14. Marco Rubio complaining about the fucking "F-word"

After a shooting at the Capital Gazette left five dead, staff writer Selene San Felice appeared on CNN where she said the following: "I'm going to need more than a couple days of news coverage and some thoughts and prayers, because it's our whole lives have been shattered. And so thanks for your prayers, but I couldn't give a fuck about them if there's nothing else."

Instead of tweeting support for the press, Marco Rubio decided to rage tweet about people using the f-word a little too freely.

Sign of our times... the F word is now routinely used in news stories, tweets etc It’s not even F*** anymore. Who made that decision???

— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) June 29, 2018

"Sign of our times... the F word is now routinely used in news stories, tweets etc It’s not even F*** anymore. Who made that decision???" Rubio tweeted on June 29.

Always nice to see a man who has his fucking priorities straight. Isn't it?

15. A whole lot of Donald Trump

In the first half of 2018 Donald Trump has had a LOT of not so great moments online.

Early in the year "girther" memes examining Trump's physique spread after the White House announced he's 6 feet, three inches tall, and weighs 239 pounds. There was that time he tried to convince everyone he's a "genius," tweeted incorrect facts, attempted to host the failed Fake News Awards, insulted many — including but certainly not limited to Jay-Z, Alec Baldwin, and Maxine Waters.

Crazy Maxine Waters, said by some to be one of the most corrupt people in politics, is rapidly becoming, together with Nancy Pelosi, the FACE of the Democrat Party. Her ranting and raving, even referring to herself as a wounded animal, will make people flee the Democrats!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 3, 2018

Not to mention the mess of typos and deleted tweets the president's Twitter followers have had to endure.

So yeah, as you can see the internet is occasionally a digital portal to hell. But the online world hasn't been all bad this year. Check out 16 of the best internet moments in 2018 to restore your faith in humanity.

Want more clever culture writing beamed directly to your inbox? Sign up here for the twice-weekly Click Click Click newsletter. It's fun – we promise.

WATCH: This moon blob meme was the only good thing on the Internet this week

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