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#the video has to really intrigue me to make me turn up the volume a little bit
trashland-llamas · 1 year
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Enter Sandman
Note; there's an unnamed friend group that Spence makes, feel free to view it in a reader-insert manner.
Spencer double-checks his bag for the show, making sure he doesn't forget any of the essentials or his noise cancelling headphones. Keeping the headphones against his neck the whole bus ride
Traded in his regular sweater-vest & button down combo for a t-shirt, not wanting to look out of place to those around him. Draw-string backpack instead of a messenger bag
Still has no clue how to dance but loves joining in on mosh-pits, having researched the etiquette beforehand. Correction, he mostly asked Penelope and Emily as he considered them experts on the topic. They show him videos of their times at past shows.
Morgan was the most concerned when he showed up with scrapes and bruises the next day. He knew the stringy man got himself into trouble here and there, being the youngest of the group but never of this caliber.
But Spencer looks like he had the most fun of his life, stimming like crazy when he recounts all of it to Penelope like he promised. 'I kept feeling sorry for this one guy, he had to keep helping me up.' Also feeling bad cause he couldn't really help anyone up, despite trying his hardest to offer a hand when needed.
Having made note of the opening band, he made sure to buy a few t-shirts and later cassette tapes for his walkman so he could listen on his commute to work if he wanted. Rossi or Hotch tapping his shoulder to tell him to turn down the volume a tad, the audio bleeding out a little.
Spencer gets the BAU crew to meet his friends that he's made at the shows one weekend and it's an interesting mashup, very much oil and water at first. But they eventually find common ground as time goes on. Some sharing recipes with Rossi, their speciality being granola. Others remark on Morgan & Hotch's strong grip regarding hand shakes. Get into a small arm wrestling match that worries Spencer a little but he's just glad they're getting along. Both groups understanding that they're like family to Spencer
They slowly adopt Penelope as well, her tending to be Spencer's plus one to events when he knows a goth band is playing. Ends up in her explaining all the different subgroups and how goth differs from scene and emo. That and they're able to find Spencer easier due to Penelope's bright wardrobe.
Noticing how intrigued he gets by the spikes and patches on one of their jackets, they offer to teach him how to make them alongside a battle jacket. Which just becomes a big way for Spencer to express all his nerdy interests, has a bunch of spools of thread just for it. Cleans it more often than needed.
Most of them take similar bus routes home, saying goodbye as they go their separate ways. Driving tends to be a carpool type scenario, offering Spencer a ride home if he wants it. Not minding if he's quiet the whole time as shows tend to be energetic. But are also willing to listen to him infodumping about the set just played or one of his special interests.
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randomoranges · 1 year
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i have not written anything in 45 yrs
i got this silly idea the other day
sometimes u just gotta write a silly
Notifications April 2023
 Edward settles in bed with a book he’s been looking forward to read, when he hears his phone go off somewhere around the living room. He must have forgotten to turn off the volume and the WIFI after watching a video on it, but he can’t really be bothered to get up to shut it. If anything, his phone will discharge and that’s a problem for Future Edward.
 He makes himself comfortable, happy for the blissful quiet of his house, when he hears his phone ping again. Clearly, it’s a coincidence, and he does his best to ignore it to concentrate on the gripping tale in his hands, however, the blasted device screams from the other room and Edward cannot ignore it anymore.
 Maybe, he thinks, as he gets out of his comfortable bed with a huff, slipping his feet inside his slippers, it’s an emergency and at this point it better be. Whoever this person is has successfully interrupted his down time and he will not stand for this. (Granted, he should have turned his device off as he normally does, but that’s a detail.)
 By the time Edward finds his phone – nestled between the couch pillows – practically hidden, there must have been half a dozen other pings and dings that had reverberated throughout his living room and when Edward finally unlocks the damned thing, it’s to find that someone’s liked a myriad of photos of him on Facebook. (Which reminds him, he needs to ask Calvin to stop a) taking candid shots of him and b) posting them on social and c) tagging him in them.)
 Edward nearly and almost chucks his phone across the room.
 To think he’d been bothered by that.
 And here he thought there’d been an emergency.
 This will teach him.
 He puts the volume off and is about to shut the thing completely, but then another notification comes in and his curiosity gets the best of him.
 Who the ever loving fuck is stalking his photos and why?
 He’s only partially surprised when he sees that all nineteen notifications have come from the same person; Étienne M. Maisonneuve.
 Annoyed, but mildly so, and now more intrigued, he fires off a quick text message as he walks back to his room.
 Message to Curly:
You know if you wanted my attention, you could have just called instead of sending your weird SOS
 He picks up his book, intent, really, to read it, but he finds himself picking up his phone again to see if Étienne will answer him or if he’s done with his little social experimentation.
 Message from: Curly
Édouard!!!! Hi :D
 Judging by the message, Étienne is not in distress but he might be up to no good. It is Friday night after all and that could mean a multitude of things.
 Message to Curly:
Hello yourself. I thought you were out tonight?
 Maybe it’s tomorrow night, but he’s pretty convinced Étienne had mentioned he was going out Friday night, last time they had spoken.
 Message from: Curly
I an ouyt and about!
**out
***am
 Edward grins at the corrections.
 Message to Curly:
How drunk are you lol?
 Message from: Curly
Might be a biiiiiittttttttttttt gone ahahahaha. Maye habe had a drinkly b4 going out with the gays.
*guys
**well theyre also gay HAHAHA.
 He kind of hates how he does actually crack a smile at the joke, but he schools his face in a neutral expression, even though he is aware that Étienne cannot see him.
 Message to Curly:
Then why are you going through old photos of me and liking them? Is the party that boring?
 Message from: Curly
Noooooo. Parties realy good.
*Party’s
**?? Idk what speilling is anywmore
Im having a smoke outside.
 Message to Curly:
And you decided to look up photos of me? Instead of socialising with everyone else?
 He doesn’t mean it as a reprimand. He just knows how Étienne works and how he’ll start a conversation with anyone within a foot of him.
 Message from: Curly
Éfodouard!
**Édouard!
See. I Loïc and Daniel wanted to see photographic proof of you ecisting.. So I found a photo of you on FB bcs I emptied my phone like yesterday so it’s void of you now ;(  which I knoe is a travesty. But. So I went on FB and then showed them ur profile pic. And then I went out for a smoke and there was literally no one outside. So I returned to FB and started looking and then I found like a million of photos that I had never seen??????? So I had to like them. To show be supportive.
 Message to Curly:
Uh-huh.
 It’s not that Edward doesn’t believe him; he just finds the tale a little amusing. That and how completely gone Étienne’s sentence structure seems to be.
 Message from: Curly
Shhhhh. Ure like fcking hot okay???? Im not allowed to look at photos of my hot bf??????
 He forgets how much blunter Étienne becomes when he’s had a few drinks and who knows what else and so, the message takes him by surprise. He feels his face heat up and puts his phone down for a moment to compose himself.
 Message to Curly:
You can look all you want but those are old.
 They are. Some are from before they got together. Then again, it’s not like he can stop him from it anyways.
 Message from: Curly
I don’t care. I hadnt seen them b4. Plus I totally still look at older pics of u n me from way back. We were total killers anywahs hahah.. But u look happy in these. N cute. N lovelyyyy. Did calvin take them???? Msurprised u don’t look ready to murder him ahahahahahahha.
Jk
But tell him thank u for the photos hahahahahaah
If he took them lol
Or just thank u to the person who took the photos
Also I havent seen u in like 45 yrs so I have to look at pics to not forget what u look like :(
 He would have looked ready to murder Calvin if he would have been aware that Calvin was taking any of these. Yet, it seems as though Calvin has the uncanny knack of snapping a photo when he isn’t looking. And – they aren’t bad photos, really. However, he will need to have a chat with Calvin about this, or at the very least keep a better eye on what he gets tagged in. (In Calvin’s defence, the photos are all very tame; one of him out gardening from last summer, another from a recent walk when he’d stopped to look at a window display and such.)
 Message to Curly:
Your life truly is tragic.
 Message from: Curly
It is the tragicest. Édouaaaaard. When will I see u again????? :( :( :(
 Message to Curly:
Soon, hopefully. I miss you too <3
 Message from: Curly
:D
Ok. Smoke finished and its cold outside. I will let u go back to ur old man routine <3
 Message to Curly:
Who says I’m not out having fun as well??
 He’s almost insulted that Étienne would assume that he’s not out and about, but then again, it’s not as if Étienne is wrong either. Plus, he can imagine Étienne’s stupid little pleased smile and he’s a sucker for it something fierce. Another good thing that they’re not currently occupying the same space, otherwise, Étienne would have seen through him. Then again, maybe not, if only for the fact that Étienne isn’t really sober at the moment. He could use that to his advantage.
 Message from: Curly
Pls. I know u. u have something tmrw nite. U like having one night of Calm TM.
 Message to Curly:
Maybe I’ve changed. New year new me and all.
 Message from: Curly
Hahahahahahahaha. Ure so funny Édouard. Hot and funny ;)
 Edward huffs. It’s not fair that even in his inebriated state, Étienne still manages to get the upper hand on him. He’ll have to concoct some revenge plan for a later date.
 Message to Curly:
You just like tormenting me.
 Message from: Curly
I do. It’s super fun. Ure super fun.
Oh!
I know!
We should go out next time ure here!
Like before – but better!
Its not the same as before but its still fun. We can have fun!!!!
Go out!!!!!
Plus like last time and the one before or wtv was fcking lame bcs curfew and shit. Or just panini stuff.
Theres a few cool places ud like.
 Message to Curly:
I’ll leave the planning to you then.
 They don’t need to go out. He likes just spending time with Étienne, even if all they do is hangout in his backyard. But – he knows Étienne likes showing him the sights and taking him out and he doesn’t mind.
 He thinks about it for a moment – they really haven’t been out to a club since the fallout and the getting back together. He wonders what it would be like. For starters, the scene has changed tremendously. Then, there’s the fact that they’ve both changed over the past few decades – for the better, thankfully. He knows it’ll be different than it had been before, but he also knows (and hopes) that it’ll be fun. If anything, Étienne had always been good at that.
 Message from: Curly
Ok. Ok im going back in now
Yesssss.. Enjoy ur wtv. Ill call u next. I love you <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxx
 Message to Curly:
Looking forward to it. Be safe. Love you too. <3 xx
 He waits a moment longer, almost certain Étienne isn’t quite done, and he laughs loudly, when there’s one more notification that pops up on his phone. He shuts if off afterwards and finally picks up his book for good.
 FIN
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tobesoalive · 3 years
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Josh Kiszka NSFW Alphabet (Smut Headcanons)
ok....so I've been wanting to do one of these for a while and I may have gotten a little carried away. This is by far the smuttiest thing I've ever written, please forgive me. let me know if you guys wanna see more stuff like this, maybe with the other boys? idk anyways enjoy!!
Warnings: Everything....
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Josh likes to stay inside you for a minute after he finishes, either burying his head in the crook of your neck or pressing his forehead to yours. Once you are both ready to part, he immediately goes to get you a glass of water and a warm washcloth to clean you up, making sure you’re doing okay. Sometimes one of you will suggest to clean off in the shower or soak in the bath for a little bit, and the entire time he’ll hold you close and press kisses to your temple, cooing words of praise and telling you how much he loves you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Josh loves his mouth, how it can give you passionate kisses and whisper praises, but also bring you to an orgasm so easily. He loves your hands, the feeling of them roaming the expanse of his skin, how they look wrapped around his cock, and the tingle he gets when you tug his hair and claw his back.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
There is nothing Josh loves more than being buried deep inside you when he cums. He loves the feeling of your walls clenching around him, loves to see his seed leak out of you when he’s pulled out, using his fingers to fuck it back into you. As far as your release goes, what he loves most is feeling you fall apart on his tongue, tasting your release turns him on more than anything.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Every once and a while the thought of you dominating him crosses Josh’s mind, specifically pegging. He had kept his longing a secret for the first year of your relationship but accidentally let it slip one night, but you informed him you’d try it out if he really wanted to. It became an activity you two revisit every couple of months.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
The man has some experience under his belt - I mean he is a famous musician - but nothing too crazy. He had about five or six partners before you, but most of his experience he gained with you. Both of you had vastly improved your game over the course of the relationship, and you knew each other’s bodies like they were your own.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Every position quite honestly, but he especially loves when you ride him. It allows him to gaze up at you and get the perfect view of his length going in and out of you, the sight often causing him to throw back his head and let out a throaty moan. Truly Josh loves any position, but especially the ones that allow him to see your face and the expressions you make. He still likes to have you on all fours every so often and also spoon you while lazily pumping in and out of you.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
It really depends on the day, but most of the time sex with Josh is light and playful. Giggling is a common occurrence from the both of you during the act, and you will catch Josh with a smile on his face quite often.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Josh prefers to keep it natural down there, only trimming every once in a while if things get really out of hand. He has a dark happy trail leading down from his belly button to a lighter patch of brown curls on his pubic bone that surrounds his length. In addition I think Joshua doesn’t really care what his partner decides to do for their grooming, actually I believe he finds it extremely hot if they keep it natural down there because he thinks you were made perfectly.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Most of the time he is extremely intimate, only being taken out of the moment if there’s a lot of other stuff on his mind, or if he is particularly stressed, but he is a very romantic and attentive partner for the most part.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Let’s be honest, Josh has a very high sex drive, and that can be a bit of a problem when he’s on tour or when you’re not around. He takes care of himself by thinking of you, porn isn’t really his thing, if he’s gonna have some sort of visual aid it is going to be photos/videos of you, his favorites being intimate polaroids he’s taken of you that he keeps hidden away.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Whooo boy, there are a lot of things this man is into. I’d love to go more into detail on each one of these, so maybe one day I’ll write a piece on these. To name a few, Josh is into hair pulling, light choking, period sex, squirting, mutual masturbation, praise, edging, domination, i really could go on forever.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Your shared bedroom is always the top choice, but you guys like to get creative, you’ve done it in the shower, bath, car, backyard, restaurant bathroom, empty field at night, secluded hiking trails, his childhood home, and when you guys are very impatient he’ll bend you over the kitchen counter or prop you up on the arm of the couch.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
It doesn’t take much to turn this man on, he’s so insanely in love with you that everything you do gets him going. Sometimes on stage he’ll spot you in the crowd, seeing you dancing and singing every word, that’s something that really gets to him, and it takes everything within him to not run off stage and fuck you right then.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Josh wouldn’t wanna do anything that puts you in pain, he hates seeing you suffer and would never want to do anything that hurt you, no matter if it would feel good for him.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
There is nothing more beautiful than the face Josh makes when you take him in your mouth. He closes his eyes and leans his head back, grinning with his perfect teeth and sticking just the tip of his tongue out. His moans and words of praise are angelic as well, and the way his soft eyes gaze at you as you swallow his release. As much as he loves your mouth, he prefers to have his on your core. God that man eats your pussy like it’s last meal. Lapping and sucking at your clit, alternating between dipping his fingers and tongue into your tight cunt. He could-and has- cum from just eating you out, it brings him just as much pleasure, and his mouth waters thinking about how good you taste.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He’s all of it. It depends on what mood you’re in but this man will make slow, passionate love to you in the morning, fuck you fast and rough in the evening and everything in between.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Josh doesn’t mind a good quickie every once in a while. If you have somewhere to be 10 minutes after he gets home from the studio, no problem. Man can make you cum in less than five minutes, and he does not hesitate to demonstrate.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Yassss Joshy boy loves to take risks, as long as you’re comfortable. If you propose an idea and it intrigues him, you’ll be trying it within the next five minutes. That’s part of what makes your sex life with Josh so satisfying, you two aren’t afraid to switch things up.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Usually two is where Josh taps out, but sometimes you two decide to stay up all night smoking, talking, cuddling and fucking. Times like those he can go about 4 or 5 rounds. When you two are both home he fucks you at least twice throughout the day.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
You own a few toys that you both use, together or alone. After he left for tour once Josh bought you a vibrator so you wouldn’t miss him too much. Sometimes he’d pull it out while fucking you, just to hold it on your clit. That usually ended with you making a big mess and Josh being extremely satisfied.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Josh likes to tease you a little bit, but he actually enjoys it more when you’re the one teasing him. He likes still being a little submissive.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Much like on stage, Josh is loud in the bedroom as well. Between his throaty moans and grunts, he also is constantly talking to you. He responds to your sounds by saying “Yeah, you like that?” and “tell me how good it feels” and so much other dirty talk because he’s a cocky little shit. He’s also big into praise, whether that be praising you or getting praise himself.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
If there’s one thing that makes Josh feel totally elated, it’s making you squirt. The first time he did it was totally unintentional, he was just eating you out like usual, but his fingers curved a certain way and you bursted. It was the hottest thing he’d ever seen, and he became obsessed with making you do it over, and over, and over again.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
This man has a beautiful dick. It’s about 7 ½ - 8 inches long with some nice girth to it. It leans a little to the left and has a nice curve to it, and it has some veins that rub your walls deliciously. He used to be self conscious of his dick but you assured him it was perfect and it never failed to please you.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Have you seen how hyper this man is? You briefly mention something or even say the word “sex” in a sentence and his clothes are off.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Depends on the day, but for the most part he likes staying up for a little while to talk with his arms around you, eventually quietly thinking about how lucky he is before drifting off.
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girls4keigo · 3 years
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A Bird Whisperer’s Guide to Fighting Villains and Falling in Love | Hawks x Hero!Reader
Summary: Hawks needs help to defeat an upcoming hero attack in Tokyo. What better hero to ask than the one he’s been crushing on for months
Warnings: F!Reader, Hero!Reader, Fluff, Cursing
Reader plays hard to get. Reader has a nature quirk and can control natural elements and talk to animals. Reader is a popular hero
a/n: hi! this is my first post i hope you all enjoy! :)
————
You sighed, trying to keep your composure while talking to a bunch of big name heroes. The fundraiser events that your agency made you go to were unbearable. Standing around for hours listening to the most mundane heroes try to impress you with their line of work. But hey, if it helps boost approval ratings I guess it’s not that bad.
For the past year you’ve slowly been climbing the ranks of the hero world. With a powerful quirk and unique fighting styles it was hard to go unnoticed. By now you were familiar with how the industry treated female heroes. It seemed as if the general public cared about anything but your hero duties.
It was all love, relationships, “Who are you dating?”, “What’s your skincare routine?”
You honestly didn’t expect any different but geez, it sure did piss you off. And now that you were in the top 3, you weren’t expecting any of it to die down. Might as well just get used to it.
You continued to chat when suddenly your ear twitched as you sensed a certain birdie approaching.
Oh God.
“Hey. Mind if I steal ya away for a little?” Hawks’ signature smirk appeared on his face as he approached you.
Hawks seemed to really be latching onto you for quite some time, well since the new hero rankings were announced. You were on your way to surpassing the number 2 hero and had gained a lot of notoriety in the past couple of months. 
He was clingy for sure, always play flirting, inviting you to lunch, showing up at your agency unannounced. It was obvious that he was just trying to get a reaction out of you. You’d be surprised if he admitted to actually having feelings for you. Well, not that you cared anyways. Your job was to save civilians, defeat villains, and do things that any other normal hero would. Love was simply not on your agenda.
Holding back a heavy sigh, you complied and stepped off to the side with Hawks.
He seemed delighted by your decision, using his feathers to fetch you a glass of champagne off of one of the caterer’s trays as you two walked over to the bar area.
“So your agency makes you come to these lame things too, huh?”
You didn’t answer, not very interested in the direction that the conversation was going in.
“You look nice.” He bit his lower lip, dragging his eyes vertically across your figure.
“Thank you.” You replied, taking a sip of your champagne.
After you both had made your way over to the bar he instructed his order to the bartender, asking you if you wanted anything and keeping the same dumb smirk on his face when you denied.
“Rarely ever see you in a color other than green. I mean, I guess it’s your entire thing but I really dig this red look you’ve got goin’ on” He mused, as he watched the bartender carefully make his drink.
He wasn’t lying. He’s been eyeing you since you walked in, you look good.
“What do you want, Hawks?” You asked, visibly annoyed.
“Damn.” He chuckled, “Small talk isn’t your thing, noted.”
You side-eyed him, getting impatient with his overly relaxed demeanor.
Catching the hint, he got straight to the point. “There’s some trouble going on in Tokyo.”
Now you were intrigued. You took another sip of your champagne, “Petty villain attacks like always, isn’t it?”
You turned towards him, he got a good look at your face before he answered.
Fucking pretty, he thought to himself.
“That’s what I thought at first but it’s getting harder to believe that as I do more digging.” He looks around before inching closer to you, trying to keep his volume to a minimum. “The League is planning something big next week. The ‘Rain of Terror’, they’re callin’ it. They’re trying to ease the amount of big attacks in the city to let our gaurds down. And frankly, I think it’s working.”
Your eyebrows furrowed. “How do you know all of this?”
“I’ve got connections,” Was all he said, with a shrug.
Ok, whatever. You’ll confront him about that later. “And this ‘Rain of Terror…’ what does it entail?”
“Bombs.”
“Shit,” You muttered.
“Big ones. Huge ones, actually. I don’t know how the fuckers did it but they found a way to make these huge, bioengineered clouds that ‘rain’ bombs.”
You grew uneasy. Raining bombs? Over the entirety of Tokyo? The amount of destruction it would do to the earth, to civilians, made you panic. Hawks sensed your uneasiness but continued anyways, “I want us to team up. Your quirk would be useful with the entire controlling nature n’ weather thing.”
He loosened up from his serious expression, talking a bit louder and showing a teethy smile, “Plus I think we’d make a pretty good team. I’ve already got a plan so we’ll meet up at yours tomorrow.”
“As in my house? Why not anywhere else?” You questioned.
“Well,” He grabbed his drink and used his free hand to rub the back of his heck, “This isn’t really the typa thing we can talk about in public. Mass hysteria, panic, that type of thing. And my living situation is pretty…complicated right now.”
You felt a small tap on your shoulder, followed by the voice of your high school aged sidekick. You turned to the younger hero. “Uh..Y/N? It’s time to go. I gotta be back by 11.”
You sighed before turning back to Hawks.
“Kids and their curfews, right?” He commented.
“Fine. I’ll have my agency send you my address. Don’t come during the day.” That was the last thing you said before finishing your drink all in one quick sip and making your way to the exit. You could feel his eyes on your backside until you left the venue. And the singular scarlet feather rushing in front of you to open the car door for you was really the cherry on top.
You rolled your eyes.
“Woah.” Your sidekick mused, “He seems to really like you. You should give him a chance, he’s hot.”
You giggled at her comment, “He doesn’t really like me, y’know? He flirts with every female hero.”
You heard a slight tap on the window leading up to your balcony. You already sensed him flying towards you when he was about a mile away, but your bedroom? Reluctantly you walked over and opened the sliding door.
“Never heard of a front door?”
“Well that’s no fun, is it?” He said, displaying his signature smirk. You looked cute out of your hero clothes. Hair tied up and messy, and in big comfy clothes.
Adorable, he thought to himself. He walked in as if it was his own befroom, slipping off his shoes, gloves and jacket and placing them in the corner of your room.
“Make yourself comfortable I guess.” You deadpanned at him, “And we’re still going downstairs anyways.” He shrugged.
He couldn’t help but be taken aback by the layout of your room. There were plants in almost every corner, on every shelf. Vines growing on your walls, half read books strewn across your bedside table and dresser, your pet birds of all different shaped and sizes flew freely around your room, chirping every once in a while. “So you’re a bird whisperer, huh?” He said, looking around.
“I’m an animal whisperer.” You said, “That’s kind of like my entire thing.”
He let out a hearty laugh before making his way out of your room.
“Tea?” You asked, heading towards the kitchen as the winged hero made himself comfortable on your couch.
“Sure.” He picked up your remote with one his feathers, flicking through the channels.
He turned his attention to you a couple moments later as you took a seat across from him at your coffee table, setting down two mugs of green tea.
He explained his plan carefully, paying close attention to all details and pausing for any questions you might have. You had to admit, as much as an annoying asshole this guy could be, he knew what he was doing. You could tell he plans his strategies very carefully, as much as he likes to come off as lazy and laid back to the general public. He was a damn good hero. And you hated admitting it but he was right, utlizing his speed and your ability to control weather, it wouldn’t be all that hard to stop villain attacks.
Hawks also couldn’t help but admire you. You seemed attentive, always paying close attention to detail and asking a lot of questions. I mean he already knew you were good at your job, watching some of the viral videos of your fights with villains.
When the day finally came, it went as smoothly as planned, of course with a little bumps along the way. Still, the few civilians that were hurt only had minor injuries, and you and hawks made it so only a couple bombs hit the ground.
You, Hawks, and some other minor heroes who had joined mid-battle regrouped to talk about how to resolve the collateral damage.
“It’s not too much to be honest, I’ll have it all repaired by midni-“
“Wow! What an incredible display of courage from Hawks and Mother Nature, currently sitting at number 2 and number 3 of Japan’s Hero BillBoard Chart!” A loud reporter exclaimed, accompanied by a camera crew.
Of course.
You tried your best to ignore and keep talking to fellow heroes until a microphone was shoved in your face. The face of the reporter gleamed as she talked to you. “Tell me Mother Nature, how does it feel working with number 2 hero Hawks?” You winced at the question, but answered nevertheless.
“Hawks is a  diligent hero with a lot of experience under his belt despite being so young. It was great working with him.” You answered, forcing a smile on your face.
“There’s speculation that you two planned this together..is this true? How were you able to predict this attack? More importantly, are you two dating?” Those questions hit you like a truck.
“Um..no comment.” Was all you could answer with.
Nevertheless, the reporter persisted, “Well there has to be something going on. It’s just my opinion but you two seem perfect for each other.” She giggled at the camera, “Please! The public is dying to know!”
Before you could even muster up an answer to the reporter’s overwhelming question, a giant scarlet wing came between you and the reporter, blinding both her and the camera from your view.
“Hey. She said she doesn’t wanna talk about it. Let’s respect personal boundaries, yeah?” Hawks said in a nice but slightly defensive tone.
You blushed, looking up at him. As nice we he was trying to sound, he looked angry. And damn right he was. How dare they talk to you like you’re no more than just some D-list celebrity? You’re a fucking hero, who cares about dating speculation when you just saved Japan’s largest city? And how dare they ask questions about him when you were the one doing most of the work. He was enraged, and it was his natural instinct to protect the thing he cared for.
Before you knew it, he latched his arms around your waist, pushing you into his chest.
You were flustered. “What are you-“
“Let’s go.” Was all he said before flapping his wings, sending you guys soaring through the air.
You held on to him for dear life, damn was he fast.
Hawks smirked to himself, feeling your rapid heartbeat against his chest. You were trying your best to hide your blushing by burying your face in his neck, granted that probably made it worse because he could already tell by how hot your face was.
God, she’s adorable
As soon as you two landed on top of a building, you pushed him away as quickly as possible.
He chuckled, putting both of his hands up in defense, “You’re the one making this awkward y’know? Plus you owe me for saving your ass.”
You were angry. Was it because of the downright rude questions that the reporter asked you not too long ago, was it because you knew tabloids would be posting all about you and Hawks for the next couple of days, was it because you were..warming up to that damned bird?
And then you started. “Just so you know, this..us..is not a thing. It will never be a thing. I wish you’d just stop flirting with me all the damn time. Just move on to the next female hero. I actually don’t care what you do. Just leave me alone. I don’t understand why you have to be so clingy, it’s annoying.”
Hawks did nothing but smile, listening to you ramble.
“You know…I-“ He interjected, only to be interrupted by you.
“And geez, you’re so goddamn entitled. I owe you? I don’t owe you anything. I didn’t even need your help. You’re no different from any other guy, you’re fucking insuffer-“
Hawks shut you up with a gentle kiss on your lips.
Oh.
“You talk too much.” He said in a low whisper, before pulling on your chin to kiss you again. You kissed him back, resting your hands on his chest, completely indulging in the moment.
Fuck. Your knees were weak. As much as you wanted to keep going you pulled away, blushing furiously and refusing to make eye contact with him.
“Oh? So now you’re shy?” He chuckled, pulling you closer to him. He tried to catch your gaze but you just moved your head away from him each time.
“Someone might see us. This is bad,” You were able to muster out.
“You’re so fucking cute.” He said, making you blush even more. He continued, “I don’t flirt with you for no reason, y’know? Sure, sometimes it’s just to tease..but I think you’re amazing.”
You felt like you were melting in his arms. Unable to find the right words, you panicked. You were gone in seconds, manipulating the wind so it could carry you back home, the same stupid blush unable to leave your face.
“Call me!” He yelled.
That damn bird.
367 notes · View notes
lovee-infected · 3 years
Note
This idea just hit me like a train. How would twst boys react to WAP from Cardi B?? 😂😂😂
I'm trying to ignore the fact that I might've never discovered WAP without this request...🗿
Warning(s): What should I even tag as the warning idkk ckcjxjsjsjdjdjck- Mentions of WAP's lyrics, mentions of nsfw, Warning for Idia's part bc I think it went a bit too far-
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Riddle Rosehearts
Heard of this song named WAP being trending between students -> Searched it up -> Riddle:... Riddle: *Turns off his phone*
Bans WAP from the whole Heartslabyul afterwards, and every student found listening to it will have to face Riddle's: "NOOOOOOO- NO WAP IN THIS HOUSEHOLD - GO TO HORNY JAIL OFF WITH YOUR HEADS YOU UNWORTHY CREATURES- "
Trey Clover
Searches: "What does WAP mean?" before wards and after reading the search results he decides that he doesn't really need to listen to the song itself anymore.
He just clears his browsing history and returns to baking cakes. Nothing has happened, he knows nothing.
Cater Diamond
He is the guy making those "Night raven college react to WAP!!" videos on magicam. His reaction videos get over 100k views and people from all over the Twisted Wonderland start following this dork for them.
Who cares about the WAP itself? As long as he can gain followers over these videos he doesn't care how the song is supposed to be.
But at last Riddle discovers his videos by finding other dorms' students laughing over them and forces him to take them down💀 Man, Riddle really did ruin his once-in-a-life time chance for becoming popular.
Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade
Riddle has banned WAP Heartslabyul so they're going to illegally listen to it. It was Ace's fault though, Deuce is innocent.
Ace searchs up the music video, Deuce just sees the thumbnail and tells Ace that he doesn't think that this is going to be a good idea but Ace cuts him off by asking him not to be such a chicken-
Though they had to stop because Deuce was all shaky and embarrassed after just 20 seconds :"Stop this-STOP THIS- I CAN'T DO THIS- WE'RE STILL TOO YOUNG" and Ace had to stop to shut Deuce because they could've gotten caught at any second because of his unholy screams.
[a few minutes later...]
Deuce: It was saying DOORS in this house
Ace: Bruh what the- we both know it was saying Wh*res.
Deuce: Y-you dirty minded bastard!! It was clearly saying doors in this house!
Ace: Why the hell would they say doors in this house!??? It was wh*res!
Deuce: Doors!
Ace: WH*RES
Deuce: DOORS
Ace: WH*RES
Deuce: DOOOOORRRSSSSSSSSS
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Leona Kingscholar
See he might be a jerk but he hasn't yet gotten to the level of appreciating this way of presenting women in songs-
He's just going to pretend that WAP doesn't exist,but most of the Savanaclaw on the other hand are going wild because with WAP, now he can't even take a peaceful nap without WAP being looped in his brain.
Ruggie Bucchi
WAP isn't beyond his power, he's handled stronger songs.✨ He'd regularly rap WAP in public when he's feeling like it.
Now he goes around to recommend WAP to naïve students and taint their virginity by making them listen to WAP without knowing what it is-
Jack Howl
Catches Ace and Deuce listening to WAP and ends up listening to it because of them. He doesn't knpw what to say...
He isn't mad, just disappointed. Disappointed parent noises. Out of all these students, why should he best buddies which these two?
Time to drag Ace and Deuce to a corner and give them a long speech on why young men their age need to be focusing on mastering skills and achieving success through these golden years instead of violating rules and tainting their pure minds.
"Trappola-kun, Spade-kun, you've greatly disappointed me. You need to be more mindful of your actions as fellow freshmen of night raven college. Is this how the future's great magicians are going to be? How do you think your parents would feel about this new habit of yours? Have you thought of how despicable women are being presented through such songs? Are you going to support such a taboo message toward ladies?"
And Ace and Deuce end up having to listen to him and think of their bad actions for the rest of the day...
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Azul Ashengrotto
[Before listening to WAP]: He hears of this WAP song being super trending between students. What might it secret be? What kind of magic would make a simple song so hecking popular? He has to find out.
Azul thinks that by learning WAP's ways, he might be able to produce songs that are even better for mostrolounge and even start his very own music company! But before that he needs to listen to wap itself...
[After listening to WAP]: ...He discovers what kind of magic is making it so popular, but decides that it'd be better for him take a step back from the world of music for now. Yes, he's traumatized
Floyd Leech
"Hey hey koooeeebiii chaaannnn have you seen my new dance~?" ah yes, he's got the WAP dance and he's proud of it. These are the time when he's genuinely thankful for getting to have human legs.
But the WAP dance isn't his only target, he realizes that Jamil doesn't seem to want Kalim to know anything about WAP, but thankfully, Floyd is going to be kind enough to bless the young Kalim with his wealthy knowledge on WAP. ✨
Jade Leech
"My...my...that was savage," Jade is amazed, it's quite wonderful how these fragile creatures can go from Micheal Jackson's smooth criminal to WAP in a matter of years.
He's still having trouble keeping up with latest human trends and popular songs but, he's slowly liking humans a lot more than before. These creatures have already reached the level to make put p*rn in music, impressive.
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Kalim Al Asim
He hears students whispering about an epic song named WAP during the classes, and of course he'd be intrigued!
He looks up the song but Jamil has already blocked his access to any sources that he might find WAP in, yet Floyd was kind enough to lend Kalim his phone to let him listen to this masterpiece. Later on, Floyd tells him about the WAP dance and bam, Kalim is addicted.
"Everyone watch me! I've got the WAP!"
Poor Jamil doesn't know which is worse, having Kalim signing it loudly in the dorm or watching him showing off his skills in that WAP dance in public. It's time for Jamil to go on a long, long trip and never come back until Kalim graduates from this school.
Jamil Viper
Listens to WAP once, is going to spend the rest of his life pretending that he has never heard or watched it. The most ironic part about it is how he watches the music video instead of just listening to the song and...the snakes. Good lord the snakes- He isn't sure if he likes snakes anymore.
The snakes part seriously traumatizes him but not like Kalim does when he asks Jamil to learn him the WAP dance. And heck no Jamil isn't going to learn him how to dance like a wh*re. At this point, he decides to deny WAP's whole existence.
Kalim: At least tell me what a WAP is!
Jamil:
Jamil: Worship and prayer.
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Vil Schoenheit
Hasn't listened to WAP and refuses to do so. He's got standards.
Rook Hunt
"Bravo!!! These Mademoiselles have taken the art of music to a whole nother level! Beaute! 100 points! 💯" (...what else did you expect him to say?)
Just as always, no one can really tell if Rook really liked it or not but from the way he acts he seems to be... intrigued. Apparently WAP starts to get too famous in school and Rook would always be the first one to find out if a student is secretly listening to WAP in public, so he doesn't mind popping up and reminding the students not to listen to such a potentially stimulating song so carelessly: "Monsieur (x), it's adorable to see you appreciating such a glorious piece of art in this lovely day, but I don't think that all of these students staring at us right now are yet prepared for such a beauty,"
Epel Felmier
He just asked Ace for some music that'll make him sound more badass and Ace gave him the WAP:
Epel listening to WAP be like:😳😶😨😕😭
His face is redder than a tomato after the first 30 seconds of WAP, but Ace tells him that he'd be the bravest human being ever if he takes the urge to listen to this in front of teachers.
Tries to dance to WAP and make a video with it to upload on magicam, but Vil catches him in the middle of process.💀💀💀 The video turned out pretty good though. It looks just like a mother (Ehm- Vil) getting into her child's room (Epel-) and finding them doing some crazy shit.
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Idia Shroud
He's the silent and seemingly shy dude who's listening to WAP in the highest volume under those head phones during classes.
Divus Crewel: CaF2(s) + Br2(ℓ) → CaBr2(s) + F2(g)...
Inside Idia's headphones: " ~ Wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~"
Bonus: He once forgets to connect his headphones to his tablet before playing WAP:
[Wap is being played at max volume inside Trein's class]
Idia: *Thinks that the sound is coming from his head phones*
The classroom: "Beat it up, n*gga, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this p**sy right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card"
Trein: 😳
Students: 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
Crowley about to jump down: 🤭
Idia still not realizing what the hell is going on: 'Lucy lucy baby~ hihihi- wait- why they all staring at me now...? Did they hear me internally flirt with Lucius?'
No need to say what happened to Idia after this...
Ortho Shroud
No WAP for him. You may find him reacting to "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" if you're interested.🗿
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Malleus Draconia
Thank goodness he just finds the censored version of WAP... Listens to the whole song, but doesn't understand most of the lyrics. The "Put this cookie right in your face" part confuses him the most, he doesn't get it. Why would you put a cookie in your face? Is this something humans usually to do with their desserts? Like, would they put ice cream in their faces too?
Virgin dragon keeps on asking people, including Lilia, to tell him what it means to put a cookie in one's face, yet no one seems to give him any proper answers ):
Perhaps human music just isn't his thing, he's getting back to sad violin noises which he listens to when he isn't invited.
Lilia Vanrouge
WAP go brrrrrrr. Our sassy grandpa is legit in love with this piece of gold and all of the humans for achieving such a glory. The beat is superb and the lyrics are: Delicious, motivational and creatively written.
Even better, WAP has an unofficial but smexy dance too. Old man Lilia is never too old for performing a sexy physically challenging dance.
You can now hear savage rock sounds combined with WAP playing in the background coming from his room when he's vibing in the afternoon.
(I can totally see him wearing a neko maiden costume while dancing to WAP and you can't tell me otherwise)
Silver
Finds WAP in papa Lilia's playlist...
Silver:
Silver:
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Sebek Zigvolt
Sweet mother of love Sebek feels like listening to WAP has taken his virginity away-
He is a good boy, no, he once was a good boy. He's no longer the worthy man he used to be now that this unholy song has tainted his soul.
Legit feels guilty and and sinful after WAP, so you can find him praying for forgiveness to that Malleus portrait in his room every night.
"Oh young master forgive my thoughtless deeds, I beg for your mercy upon me now that I've sinned..."
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Dire Crowley
Not saying that a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing, but a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing- Everyone bow down to the Headmaster, the most gracious of them all 😩😩😩👌🏻
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Please, don't blame him. Birby is under too much of pressure after the very recent overblot cases and he needs a way to let go of the stress😔😔😔
Sam
Is illegally selling copies of the WAP because most of the dorms had blocked access to this song for the students...
"Helloooooo little demons I've got the WAP! In stuck now-"
961 notes · View notes
teeztheflag · 3 years
Text
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─────────────────────
S i e b e n  S i n n e (Seven Senses) I
⋆ pairing: catking!san x reader (x human!woo young)
⋆ genre: yandere au, fantasy au, suggestive
⋆ trigger warnings ⚠️ strong language, yanderish behaviour, possessiveness, violence
⋆ words: 6,700
part I  part II  part III
a/n: this is (obviously) inspired by The Cat Returns (Studio Ghibli) and A Whisker away (Netflix); my Halloween gift to you guys & in celebration of ateez halloween performance video the black cat nero 
⋆  „Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. There has to be a logical answer for this! For everything!“
─────────────────────
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„You are really out of your mind sometimes, (y/l/n) (y/n).“ Your friend Jang Mi side-eyes you suspiciously when she drags you through the streets of Seoul.
The only thing replaying in your mind endlessly the cat you just managed to rescue from a speeding car. How she or he stood up on the hind paws like a real human being. Those intriguing eyes that judged you mercilessly first and than seeming to spotten the wound on your head. When you crashed down on the side walk with the cat in your arms shielding it from the pain that would come. It felt like the cat would’ve known and understood what you had just done and that was quite fascinating.
No, never. It didn’t understand. It’s a cat. Just a cat. And it’s not uncommon they’re able to stand like you or me. Maybe it has an owner that trained him to do so.
Anyways. You were glad you did it. You love cats and in a big town like this it was common those beautiful creatures were driven over often. Also the cat you just rescued had such a beautiful reddish fur with a cute rosy pointing nose. It behaved like a damn human with it‘s gaze and attitude though...
You chuckle at this earning you another glare from Jang Mi. „That isn’t funny! You could’ve died, (y/n)!“
„I didn’t. And that asshole that drove the car should’ve known better to not speed so carelessly in a 30 zone.“
Jang Mi rolls her eyes and groans out knowing it‘s pointless to argue with you over these things. She knows you only since two years but in this short time the two of you became the best friends someone could imagine.
„Hey, Jang Mi. You know what? I am buying you some ice cream! To get that grumpy look off your face.“ The last words you emphasize with a funny voice to which your friend laughs out and pokes her tongue at you.
„Silly girl, you always know how to get me. Oh, gosh. Your head...“ Since she’s got a better look at you now your wound is not a nice sight to take in. You absentmindedly touch where her gaze lands and frown when you see the blood on the tips of your shaking fingers.
„Don’t worry. It’s nothing...“
„Yeah, hell no. We’re getting to a pharmacy first. I don’t even understand how you didn’t notice it yourself.“
You frown again. Suddenly it actually starts to hurt and you could facepalm yourself. Sometimes your clumsiness got on your nerves because you slowly became aware of the questioning gazes on your form by the passengers on the streets.
„Come on, babes. We get you treated. Don’t want your lover boy to freak out tomorrow!“ With that she started to speed away leaving you endlessly flustered. He wasn’t your loverboy but Jang Mi was so fast you had to catch her to get revenge.
This girl...
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Your head hurt but the work due tomorrow wasn’t finishing itself. Your fingers found their way so often to the wound and everytime a picture of the cat flashed your mind.
„I hope it’s ok...“
Finishing the last task you groan out and sink back into your writing chair. Crap... The chilly summer air fills your room with a comfortable silence. You loved your windows open the whole night listening to the music of the town. It was a different atmosphere than back home on your farm. There you would only hear the crickets and rustling of the trees. It took some time to adjust to the new surroundings but you managed well. Hopefully...
After getting ready for bed you snuggled yourself under the covers and listened. Thinking back to when you came back home earlier a smile crept up your face.
„Did you got beaten?“ Your mother asked you wide-eyed. You couldn’t hold back the laughter that erupted afterwards and the look on your mother’s face of misbelief. But she smiled. She heartily smiled at you when you told her the story.
„Ah, my stupid daughter. You and animals. But you know what? How people treat animals says a lot about their personality. So I am proud my (y/n) is a good girl!“ She hugged you and you laughed again. Quite cheesy but okay.
Your eyelids got heavier and you felt yourself drifting into the dreaming land. Everything was calm and you felt safe.
Drums? You’re sleeping. It’s becoming louder and it annoys you. You groan and toss around in the bed coming more to your senses. How long were you asleep already? Making a move to look on your clock only confuses you. There were no numbers or anything.
Still in a foggy state you sit up and your gaze drifts to your window where the sound seems to increase in its volume more and more.
„At this rate they will wake the whole neighborhood.“
Curiosity killed the cat so you stood up and made your way to the window. Peaking out carefully you first see nothing. The street lights are on but the houses are dark. Nobody woke up yet? Turning your head to the left and to the right repeatedly you wanted to give up but then you heard it again.
A loud drum that makes your heart beat quicken and goosebumps rising.
„Aish, what is going on?“
You suppress a scoff when you see lanterns at the end of the street emerging. A festival move at this unholy hour? Oh wait, you don’t know how late it is.
Are you dreaming? You look back to the clock and still no numbers. You are definitely dreaming. It feels so real but you managed to have a lucid dream?
Suddenly a smile brightens on your face and you take a look at your hands in front of you wondering how everything‘s so realistic. No time to think longer you run downstairs and open the gate to the street looking for the lanterns and drums.
You only register now that you’re still in your pajamas but it is a dream so who cares. The music‘s becoming louder and louder. Your eyes shine with curiosity and your hands become sweaty what might happen. Then the first persons come into sight and you gasp at the rich clothes they’re wearing.
Hanboks with the most astonishing and eye-catching colors. Beautifully handmade lanterns and flowers of all colors. But something knocks the air out of you and you take a step back. The figures leading the festival move aren’t humans... They’re cats! Cats that are seeming to walk on their hind paws. Like the one you rescued today.
What a weird dream. The move goes on and on and you register the cats sometimes peaking at you mischievously. Until it comes to a halt in front of you and you can see a cat with grayish-brown fur stepping down from a sedan chair a huge smile on it‘s face.
The cats were still much smaller than you and you felt like an idiot standing there on the streets barefoot only in your pajamas.
You shriek back scared when the cat seems to bow and all the others follow suit.
„Mrs. (y/l/n). My name is Kim Hong Joong and I come in the names of our prince Choi. Our kingdom is very thankful you rescued our young prince. In his behalf and others we want to thank you with a gift.“
„How can you speak...“
The cat named Hong Joong looks up and takes something from his back which looks like a necklace. You carefully reach for it after every cat seems to wait patiently. When your fingers touch the material the cat‘s eyes seem to glisten and the others start to meow happily.
„Ehm, eh, okay? Thank you?“ You inspected the necklace and wonder what material it was. It was very thin and almost seemed transparent. Beautiful nevertheless.
„I am so happy you accept the offer, Mrs. (y/l/n)! My prince and king will be very happy! We will pick you up tomorrow evening when your quarters are ready.“ He bowed again and all the other cats, too.
Suddenly they continue their way leaving you dumbfounded in front of your house with the necklace tingling between your fingers.
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Your teacher rambled about one of her favorite musicians since probably twenty minutes leaving the whole class groaning unhappily. With a pen between your teeth and the head supported by your palm your gaze drifts out the window to the school yard.
The dream you had was so confusing. After the cats were gone you climbed back into your bed not knowing how to stop your sleep. It also worries that you are able to remember every little detail. Maybe it’s like this when you’re lucid dreaming?
„Ouch!“ You pat you the back of your head where something hit you a few seconds ago. Turning around you come face to face with no other than Woo Young himself. The boy smirks at you and you roll your eyes picking up the little note he smashed in your direction.
„What‘s with your head?“
You deeply inhale and have to suppress a laugh. Scribbling down your answer and sending it back to your classmate you watch Woo Young‘s reaction.
He wears an apologetic look and then frowns and smiles.
„Because you just hit me with the killer paper? Jokes, you should see the other guy :‘)“
Woo Young quickly writes down while looking to the teacher once in a while.
You liked Woo Young for quite a while now. His open-minded and kindhearted character let you feel butterflies in your stomach so often. While you watch the boy like a lovestruck teacher he sends a paper back to you again but this time you catch it.
Earning the attention of the whole class and also your teacher.
„Mr. Jung! Mrs. (y/l/n)!“
After detention with Woo Young and some other students you and the back walk back the way to your house. Between chattering and laughing Woo Younh suggests to buy you some strawberry milk and take a last chill at the playground in your neighborhood.
Both of you sit on a swing next to eachother while the boy‘s eyes are glue to your form every so often.
„Oh, look!“ You point up to the sunset and giggle at how nicely the colors of red and purple seem to merge.
„It’s beautiful...“ Woo Young takes a sip from his own milk and agrees while not taking his eyes off you.
„Thank you, Woo. I mean I was really angry at you earlier but you made up for it!“
„Well, it’s not by fault your skills are so bad.“ He smirks at you challenging but you just keep your comments to yourself and start to swing a little bit.
„(y/n)? Would you go on a date with me?“
You caugh out some milk and Woo Young quickly stands up to help you by holding you.
Great, how embarrassing. Sometimes you wish the ground would open and you could hid away.
„Are you okay?“
„Yes, yes to both.“ You smile and Woo Young reflectors your face expression.
„Great, I was really nervous to ask you.“ His hand caresses the nape of his neck while he helps you to stand up.
Cute.
„I will plan everything! Maybe a picnic or we could do something adventurous!“
„I trust you to find something good and if you’re not we could always just take a walk in the park.“
„Alright. Then see you tomorrow, beautiful.“ Woo Young tries to be brave and places a chaste kiss on your cheek to which your body responds immediately with butterflies in your stomach.
You try to hide your face and say goodbye to him making your way home, too, with the palms on your cheeks to cool them down. Oh god what was this boy doing to you.
„Mrs. (y/l/n). We’ve searched everywhere for you!“
What was that? You turn around to find the source of the voice but you cannot spot anyone. Did you just imagine that?
„Down here, mylady.“
„Oh my god!“ With a loud thud you stumble back and land on your butt shock evident on your face.
„Y - you... you are...“
„Kim Hong Joong, at your service.“ The cat from your dream bowed to you and landed back on his four paws to tilt his head.
„Are you okay? Did this unworthy human harassed you or something?“
„I don’t understand... How and why. I am not dreaming?“
„You aren’t. If you thought so yesterday you weren’t, too. I am a cat and you a human and we‘re having a chat right now.“ His eyes pierced you and your actions carefully but you were just so confused everything started to spin around you.
„Cat - you’re a cat. You shouldn’t be able to talk!“ Hong Joong starts to emerge your form and meows sadly when you try to rob away from him.
„Mh, well, we don’t have time. They’re already waiting so we should go.“
„Go? Where?“
„To the kingdom of cats of course.“ Hong Joong’s meows loudly and you cannot believe your eyes when about a dozen cats emerge from the bushes and jump down from the roofs.
„I am not feeling good.“ You black out when the cats seem to get you on top of them and start to speed away with a magical fast pace.
„Oh no, she’s out...“ Hong Joong sits in front of you on the train of cats and observes you quietly.
You’re out of the town and it’s noise faster than ever and pass trees and farms in the last rays of the sunshine from today. While you’re still unconscious it’s already to late to flee when the train of cats slide through the portal and enter the magical world to the kingdom of cats...
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You wake up with a groan clutching to your head immediately. Slowly coming back to your sense you can feel a fluffy blanket with your fingers and you turn over to snuggle deeper into the covers and cushions. It was only a dream...
Opening your eyes carefully your breath hitches and you sit up abruptly. This can’t be real! Where are you?
„Hello?“ You stand up and wander around the room you’re in. It is definitely out of time as it looks like back in 19th century out of a royal castle. The bed is huge with gold decorations and also the furniture looks of expensive wood and materials. It seems to be evening because it’s already getting dark outside.
How long were you gone? It was evening when the cats got you and... the cats got you here. Speaking cats. Oh god, you were finally loosing your mind.
„The fucking hell...“ Is that you in the mirror? The person looks like you but... there are (y/h/c) ears on your head. Cat ears... You touch the area where your human ears should be but there are not to find.
You feel the room spinning again.
„Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. There has to be a logical answer for this! For everything!“
The door opens and you feel yourself tensing up and backing away when about three females enter the room looking just like you. But with the difference that they also wear a tail on their backs that swing around happily which makes you think they’re excited for anything.
„Oh my! The cat ears and tail suit you nicely, Mrs. (y/l/n)! You’re purrrrfect!“ The other ladies giggle and you just stand there mouth open and shocked. You point at them hastily and scared.
„Who are you! What am I doing here? Where am I?“
„Sh, sh... You’re in the Kingdom of the cats and more precisely in the castle of king and prince Choi.“
„Are you joking?“
„No, we aren’t. You’re in a magical world and are going to live every cat‘s dream! Marrying our wonderful and gorgeous cat king Choi.“ The smiles doesn’t leave their faces despite knowing how worn up you are and exhausted, too.
„I - I, who am I going to marry?”
“Mrs. (y/l/n), you’re going to marry the king of cats! Isn’t it wonderful?“
„He, ehe, I don’t know what game this is but just let me go home and - “
„No times! We have to make you presentable for meeting our king! He will absolutely fall in love with you! Your fur already looks so nice and fluffy and that tail!“
Ah, yes. Don’t listen to me. And what’s that funny thing on your back? You turn forth and back and jump away when you see the thing swinging from side to side. You carefully touch it and feel that it’s very sensitive and almost ticklish.
„I’ve never known cats could feel so much with this thing...“
„Oh, we are. But humans are just plainly dumb and think it would be funny to provoke us with the smallest things.“ The others agree with the lady that talked the most out of them and you just hum at her.
„So let‘s get you ready and the king will help you with all your questions. In the end he will be your husband soon!“ They giggled again and emerged your form to sit you down in front of a smaller mirror in the room starting to brush your hair and comb it nicely.
After a while some of them come back to the room with a few dresses and let you pick one. What else could you do right now? You weren’t convinced this all was real by but maybe that king or whatever could help you. Also the ladies seemed to be very persistent on dolling you up.
„Look! What a beautiful queen we will soon have!“ The girl named Ye Ri says and points to the mirror while the others gather around to admire their work.
Suddenly someone knocks on the door and Joy walks over to open it. You frown when you see a man standing there bowing to the girls and you.
„Mr. Kim! The Miss is ready!“
„Oh, I can see. Are you feeling better, mylady?“
„Hong Joong?“
He smiles just like he did as a cat but now he also has only the cat ears and and a tail. He was still very cute and looked happy to see you.
„Yes, it’s me. It’s nice you recognized me in this form.“
„This form? So you can change?“
„Yes, every cat is able to change its form but we rather do that in our kingdom where no humans can see us.“
„Oh, wow. So can I change, too?“
„Yes, you can. But for now it should be better for you to stay in this form. We usually are how we are right now when being in society. You will soon see yourself. For now I am here to bring you to the king.“
„Of course, the king...“
The girls usher you out to follow Hong Joong through the long corridors of the castle and you often find yourself slowing down to look at all the art hanging on the walls and peaking into one room and another.
Suddenly he halts in his tracks and motions for two guards in front of the door to open it. They’re bowing for you and Hong Joong motions for you to enter the big hall where a throne and other furniture was placed like - indeed - for a king.
You step inside and they close the doors behind you with a thud that makes you jolt nervously.
Then you see him. Black ears and a black tail that is swinging calmly from side to side while he looks out of the window. His arms are folded behind his back and he’s wearing what seems like a red king jacket with golden emblems, a white blouse and dark trousers.
He indeed looks like a king, more like a prince so because he’s so young. The king smiles to himself hearing you walking to him warily and with careful steps. He looks down into his palm where your necklace is placed and caresses the texture.
You watch him turning around and it nearly knocks the air out of your system. He’s deadly gorgeous with black hair like the night and piercing eyes that resemble cat ones so much. If this wasn’t the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen you didn’t know. Or should you say cat?
„You’re here.“
You gulp and stupidly nod at him not being able to form an accurate sentence.
„Finally. My brother didn’t lie when he said you were the purest soul and lovely human he ever layed his eyes on.“
You cannot suppress the effect he has on you and wish that hole would finally appear. Before you can look away the king emerges your now a little bit trembling form and seems to analyze everything.
You can feel him looking at your ears with such fascination. He really resembles a cat. His tail touches your dress so often and you feel like he does it on purpose but when you look up he’s still right in front of you dazed by your looks and eyes.
You should ask him now. Although he was so beautiful and mesmerizing he was still a cat and in no way you could stay here and marry a cat. A cat king. But that didn’t matter right now.
„King Choi I - “
„San. My name is San.“
He purrs at you and you could’ve drop dead at the sound. It felt almost lewd like it was his way of flirting with you and damn it he was getting you with it.
Hence you and your love for animals and especially cats! They were just too elegant and cute to resist.
„S - San, I don’t know how to say this but - why am I here?“
His eyes widen and his orbs darken at your question, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Then he flashes you a dazzling smile with little fangs showing.
„We’re marrying, (y/n).“
„But - I mean, why me?“
„Because you rescued my brother, prince Jong Ho. You would’ve given your life to rescue one of us and you were lucky it was the prince himself. We take that very serious!“
„Ah, so that cat was your brother!“ He nods rapidly his eyes seeming to turn into crescents at your reaction.
„A thank you would have been ok, San. We don’t have to marry! I mean I am a human girl and you’re a cat, the king of cats to add. There will be better options for you, right? You don’t have to feel obligated or something, really!“ With every word you stutter San‘s mood seems to change from a playful into something tense.
„My love, cats only fall in love once in their life and after my brother told me about you I knew you were the right one! Also the king‘s wish is not to be declined, never.“
Your smile now also vanished from your face and you could facepalm. He didn’t want to let you go? Fine, you would find a way yourself.
„(y/n), you accepted my marriage proposal so there’s no turning back. In a week we‘re going to marry and there‘s no way out of the kingdom without my acceptance.“ He leans down and mewls into your cat ears that instantly react to the soft touch of his fingers. You tense and try to hold back from letting out any sound. He takes out the necklace of his pocket and places it around your exposed neck.
You groan unintentionally. This was the marriage proposal!
You want to talk to him longer and tell him that you wouldn’t marry him but when you smell the scent of food on the table at the end of the room your stomach has other plans.
San seems to be back to his sweet and inviting aura and glances down to you with loving eyes. „Let’s eat, love. You have to be hungry after the long journey.“ He professionally lays his arm around your waist and guides you to the table where you carefully start to dig into the delicious meals.
Thing two you loved endlessly. Food... Maybe one or two days with these expensive dishes wouldn’t be too bad? Hell, no, (y/n).
San‘s aura is calm again and he watches you with interested eyes how you’re eating everything the cooks prepared for this evening.
„From tomorrow on we will sleep together in my chambers. Today I well let you get adjusted to everything. If you want or need something Hong Joong will be your personal contact everytime.“
The slice of apple nearly slips into the false tract when he speaks about sleeping together. „I - isn‘t it too early to sleep in the same bed?“
„Don’t worry. Cats play by other rules. But I won’t touch you until we’re married. Then we will mate and I’ll take what’s mine, my beautiful (y/n).“
A sick feeling makes itself comfortable in your stomach at his words. He almost sounds possessive over you. Were cats like this? A thing you never payed attention to.
Still, there had to be a way out of here. Tomorrow you would try to leave the castle and get back to your world, as dumb as it sounded.
You were very tired and after eating San brought you back to the room you woke up earlier and left you there. As soon as he vanished out of your sight you felt like the air wasn’t suffocating you anymore.
He was charming and dazzlingly handsome but something just seems off. Fear and worry he would really not let you go crept up to you like paws with long and sharp claws.
He would understand. If he really liked you and fell in love he would let you go. That’s what you would do for the person you love, right? Let them be free and happy. Oh my, hopefully he would change his mind...
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The next morning you wake up rested and stretch out to wake your still tired limbs. Instead of a yawning a long meow leaves your mouth leaving you to startle.
„Well, I have to get used to this...“ You stand up and find the bathroom to take a show having minor problems with your tail that seems to swing away everytime you try to wash it properly. It was funny how in everyone of their clothes a little hole for the tail was. You were also thankful your wardrobe didn’t only consist of dresses and changed into a pair of light trousers and a red blouse that you tucked into. The maids also arrived early to make your hair and make up which felt nice. You’ve never had anyone to make you feel so beautiful.
Being happy with your appearance you left the girls seeing Hong Joong already waiting for you in front of your door.
„Good morning, mylady! I am here to escort you to the breakfast.“
„Good morning to you, too!“ You smiled at the boy and followed suit. The room was opened with large windows where the sun peaked inside and outside you could see a big garden with many flowers and a big pond. It looked dreamingly...
„I am also admiring the view of the morning, my queen.“ Your ears twitch and you feel San coming up behind you his eyes only set on you which makes you flustered.
„You’re exaggerating, my king.“
„I am not. But maybe your right. No words can describe your beauty, (y/n).“ You giggle a little bit helpless and take a seat next to San to start the breakfast.
Then suddenly the door opens and a young man with reddish hair enters the room equally dressed to San.
„Brother!“ Jong Ho smiles spotting the two of you. The poor boy doesn’t know what tragedy he got you into.
„(y/n), my dear. Do you recognize me?“ A smile creeps up your face at the sight. The cat you rescued in it‘s other form.
„Oh my! You are him!“
„Yes, I am the cat. I am still so thankful for what you’ve done!“
„It wasn’t anything. You didn’t have to make your brother have to marry me.“ You giggle embarrassed but Jong Ho frowns at your reaction.
„Why? Nothing can be enough to thank my hero... Aren’t you happy?“ San‘s speak up before you’re able to.
„She’s a little bit overwhelmed but it will cool down after the marriage.“ He slips from his tea wearing a mischievous smile while you glare at the king. His brother suddenly smiles again being obviously relieved. That boy also seemed to be too pure for his own good...
The breakfast continued while the three of you have little chit chats with you asking more about the world and maybe getting information on how to leave from here.
San told you he had some business to do for the marriage leaving you to roam around the castle and the yards on your own. The perfect opportunity to get out of here. Your ears hang down at thought of leaving the nice people you met here but they would understand.
With the enhanced hearing and moving you were able to explore the ground and find a way to sneak out of the place through a door where no guard was.
You ran as fast as you could and after a while you emerged a little village where many cats in their original form and the other form were walking around. Meowing and talking everywhere leaving you fascinated. There was a little market where you saw a couple arguing over something and children playing around.
It was magical and beautiful. Probably more beautiful than the human world could ever be. Cats were watching you with interested eyes and you only realized you were caught when a little girl pulled at the hem of the dress of her mother pointing to you.
„Mummy, look! The lady!“ Oh no! You had to get away quickly or they would tell a guard. You turned around corners and saw the end of the village but before you could sneak out someone grabbed you by your arms and pulled you back.
It was a man with blondish ears and a loose blouse eyeing you suspiciously. „Please, let me go!“ His gaze turns down to your neck and he frowns loosening the grip around your arm.
„You’re the queen. What are you doing here? Without a guard?“
„I - I am not the queen. I have to get out of here. Of this world!“
„You sneaked out of the castle, right?“ You looked away ashamed of being caught and trembling of fear not knowing how San would react.
„Why do you want to go?“
„The king... he wants to marry me but I am here against my own will. I am a human being kidnapped into this world so please cat, have a heart and help me!“
„I think I understand and see your worry. You will adjust. I promise...“ Slowly he turned away something flashing in his eyes you couldn’t point out.
„No, please! I have a life outside of this world! My mum is alone and my friends and...“ Woo Young. It seems like the longer you were in this world the more you forgot about your own.
„Listen, mylady. I am not interested in our kingdom at all and couldn’t care less but if I help you they will probably kill me.“
„They would kill you? I thought cats wouldn’t be so cruel...“
He scoffs at you and looks around if no one is listening to you talking. „The king is merciless. If something gets in his way he...“
„I knew something about him was off... but I don’t think somebody knows that I am gone. They will probably only realize until it’s time for lunch. I have a real chance if you just told me where I can get back to the human world! I am begging you!“
The boy thinks hardly before answering. The portal was only half an hour away in one direction. If they caught him helping the queen to escape he would be so dead... but the desperate look in your eyes warmed his heart.
„For god‘s sake... you’re one persistent person.“ Yeo Sang explained how to leave the cat‘s kingdom and you didn’t wait another second to thank him quickly and speed away.
That necklace on yours would tell everyone who you were. Hopefully none other would cross your way now. He watches you running away with a frown. Good luck...
Your feet hurt by now bow after a while you emerged a forest and entered it with mindful steps. It was dark and you could hear so many things. When you stumbled over a fallen tree you landed perfectly on the ground on all fours and suppressed a laugh. Wow, that was really helpful. You stood up and went deeper and deeper into the woods until you saw something glistening and shining on a meadow.
That had to be the portal!
You run over the grass and stopped in front of it. Holding your hand out you reached for the light but before you can take a step forward something crashes into your side forcefully.
„I have her!“ You try to struggle out of the grip and a hiss leaves your mouth sounding like a very pissed of cat. Soon other person are coming and you can see black ears between them definitely belonging to the one you’re running from.
„Great work, men! Especially you, Min Gi!“
„Ah, thank you mylord!“ The men stands up and quickly other guards are taking your wrists and holding you up. You can see Hong Joong looking concerned at you while San seems to be something between amused and pissed off at the same time. Knowing you failed fear rushes through your system what would happen to you know. San comes up and stands in front of you to let his tail embrace your waist and push you forward to him. He takes your face in his hands and brushes your cheeks with his palms.
„I was so afraid. You seem to have lost your way, my little clumsy kitten.“ He sounded so honest everyone cooed at the two of you but you just gulped and didn’t loose the eye contact with the cat king.
„I am sorry, my king. I am really clumsy. Always been.“ He smiles sickenly sweet down to you and places a long and possessive kiss on your forehead. „And then someone tells you the wrong way, too. Tsk, tsk. There are bad cats out there, (y/n). But we will take care of those that are trying to hurt my beloved ones. I promise you.“
It feels like all colors leaves your face at the thought of the cat that helped against all his concerns.
„Please don’t hurt him.“ San ignored your pleading and takes you into his arms to guide you back to a carriage his tail not leaving your waist any second. Suddenly breathing feels suffocating again.
Back at the castle San enters his chambers with you still by his site and he emerges his king sized bed where he sits you down. He positions his hands on his waist and his ears twitch in annoyance. „I will torture that boy to calm my anger, (y/n). If you try to escape again he’s dead.“ His eyes are dark and you feel your eyes watering at his words.
„My king, please! I won’t try to escape again! I promise! Just don’t hurt him!“ You’re begging him and move to sit down on your knees in front of him but he just scuffs and moves away so your tail cannot long encircle around his legs.
„You should’ve thought about that before you ran so quickly away from my side. I will see you at dinner.“ You were hiccuping and crying for him but the merciless king locked his chambers and made his way to the dungeons. No one got into his way and he always got what he wanted. Yeo Sang knew about that and helped you anyways... What now? You were so close... You curled up on the bed calming down from the crying. How could you get out of this? How long would you still be able to remember your home? Your mum and Jang Mi... and Woo Young. He asked you on a date, right? Would’ve been it today?
„Gosh, Woo Young... Mum. Jang Mi. I am so sorry.“
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It had been days you were missing. Woo Young sat on the swing his eyes glued to the sand in front of him. You sat next to him. Right there. You were here. Why did you leave? Did someone take you?
„Shit, (y/l/n) (y/n). Where the heck are you!“
„Problems in paradise?“
Woo Young slowly looks up to see a young man leaning casually against one of the playground furniture. He’s wearing a black hanbok looking very mysterious but he wasn’t much older than the boy himself. A small mobile stand is next to him adorned by many masks of all colors and forms.
„Who are you?“
The young man opens his eyes and tilts his head to the side grinning from ear to ear. „I am the one to help those in need.“
Woo Young scuffs and stands up to leave the playground.
„I know where (y/n) is. Well, more where she’s being hold.“
Woo Young feels a shudder going down his spine and rage rushing through him. He turns around and emerged the man with quick steps to take him by the hem of his hanbok. „You asshole! What have you done to her?“ He hisses out through grilled teeth feeling only more provoked by the latter.
„Hey, friend. Calm down. I have nothing to do with her missing.“ He carefully reaches for Woo Young‘s hand and takes it down.
„There you go. I can help you friend. Only if you are willing to do everything of course...“
„You - why would I trust you?“ Suddenly the man‘s gaze darkens and he chuckles deeply.
„I am your only chance to get her back.“ Woo Young thinks for a second. There were no signs of your leaving and no one has seen something... Maybe it was his only option to take the opportunity.
„Who are you and where is she?“
The smiles is back on the mans face and he takes a mask from his stand to hold it in front of his face and down again. „They call me by Seong Hwa. I am the one that you can also find by the ‚mask seller‘.“
„Daeng, I should’ve know you just want to sell something!“
„Hold up, Woo Young. Why would I know of her and your name? Why would I know you were the last one that saw here and asked her out on a date?“
„That‘s not possible... How can you?“
„I know many things. And I also know where your dear (y/n) has been taken to.“
„Okay, this definitely doesn’t make any sense but let’s play your game. Where is she and how can I get to her?“
„She’s far away. Very far away. In a world we also call the kingdom of cats. And... you can only enter it when you’re a cat yourself.“
„Tsk, and how do I become a cat?“
„It’s easy. This mask can turn you into cat. I will sell it to you and will show you the way. The rest you will have to do yourself.“
„How much?“ Seong Hwa‘s eyes widen. He wouldn’t have thought Woo Young would agree so easily.
„We will talk about the price after you rescued your princess, how about that?“
„Alright.“ With that Seong Hwa hands the mask over to the young boy and motions for him to wear it. When nothing happens Seong Hwa chuckles and pushes the boy so that he does a role and - to all surprises - changes into a small cat. „How magical, right?“ Seong Hwa chuckles darkly and tilts his head in amusement.
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mugi-chan · 4 years
Text
❞Dorms playing Among Us❝
ლ  Tea Order: All the boys: The Dorms Playing Among Us! 
ლ  Warnings: None! 
ლ Shop owner notes: I’m honestly not having a good week, everything is just seeming to go wrong so to cheer myself up I watched one of my favorite twitch streamer playing among us and thought what would the dorms be like playing among us. I know there is like fanart out there of dorm heads as among us characters and that also inspired me to write this! 
Sorry for not severing up any orders yesterday, like I said things just been going downhill for me right now! 
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After playing a few rounds this dorm would develop trust issues with each other 
Out of everyone Trey is best at being imposter
Everyone trusts the Vice dorm head right? 
And Trey would take that to full advantage 
Deuce is possibly the worst when it comes to being an imposter 
He would try to lie but everyone would see right through his lies 
Ace would totally point blame at a crewmate and get them voted off 
Riddle is just confused, he never played video games before and Among us is a nice simple game to play with the Dorm
At least that’s what riddle thought 
Riddle is sus of everyone
He's that guy that goes “idk man he’s kind of sus” 
Cater is someone who takes a little to long to do task but great at doing vent murders 
Almost everyone round they are yelling over each other and not a single coherent sentence 
“IT’S DIAMOND-SENPAI, IT’S DIAMOND SENPAI”
“I WAS IN REACTOR, TREY WAS BEING CAMERAMAN ANDY AND SAW ME GO TO REACTOR” 
“I got off camera’s around that time” 
“THEN WHO WAS ON CAMERAS?!” 
They are a chaotic group
after an intense game they would all laugh about it over tea.
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They are mostly a very tame group when playing Among us 
Savanaclaw would be all chill but very smarty about there plays
“Hey are you the imposter?” 
“Nah” 
“Eh idk man he’s kinda sus right now” 
Leona may seem lazy but he’s really good at switching the blame to another person
Jack is probably the best at being detective 
Sometimes Jack would stalk people to make sure their doing their task and not faking it 
He can deduce who is clear and who may the be imposter
Ruggie is best in Savanaclaw at being imposter 
He’s really sneaky and really good at vent kills
It’s crazy how good Ruggie is, every time he’s imposter he wins the game 
After some rounds of Among Us there is probably a fist fight going on in Savanaclaw over the game 
“I think leona is the imposter”
“Eh? Why do you think it's me?”
“I mean you were the last one out of spawn, and the body was found in spawn”
“You do know there is a task right outside spawn right?”
There really isn’t any yelling involve unless there are some hard accusations 
Then it’s whoever is that loudest 
When they start to yell over each other most people would have to turn down their volume or take their headphones off since their ears would hurt over how loud it was. 
Most of the time if the next room is playing Among us you can definiatly hear it 
So much threatening to hurt people just so much
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This dorm is crazy good at getting imposters out 
Imposters can not win a single game in this dorm
Azul just knows who it is just from the first kill 
He would talk so much that it would eventually convince everyone to vote out the imposter
Azul is also the best at being imposter, he would do the same strat he does to get out the imposter
Everyone would believe him because he’s just that good at talking his way out of sticky situations
Jade is normally on the cameras seeing if anyone would commit a murder
When someone those kill in front of cams, he would pressure the imposter to come out 
And they always confess, Jade has a threatening voice that would even make Azul confess to being an imposter
Floyd is probably the worst at playing Among Us 
He probably gets vented out first because he couldn’t defend himself 
After some rounds he may be annoyed but when he gets imposter
Oh boy it’s genocide 
If Floyd and Jade are imposter they would win 
The only duo that can make the imposter wins
Mass genocide, they would double kill everyone 
And their master plan is to kill Azul first since he’s most likely the only one who can get both of them out 
If Floyd and Azul are imposters they would be arguing and throwing each other under the bus over everything 
If Jade and Azul are imposters they would be so manipulative and change the narrative so they would be clear
This dorm would definitely learn how to be manipulative after playing Among Us
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Kalim is the worst at playing Imposter, he would lie right out of his teeth and everyone can see right through it 
Kalim may be bad at being imposter but he’s really good at being crewmate 
Jamil is really good at being imposter
I mean he manipulated his whole dorm into believing that he would save his dorm 
Jamil is super good at vent kills 
He would kill and slip in right before someone walks in
Trust issues was already there at first but now trust issues are high 
Jamil wants to do genocide but Kalim and the rest are like 
“Oh yeah we’re just doing tasks that’s all” 
“So Jamils the imposter?” 
They may be bad at being imposter but their super lucky on voting out the imposters 
“Hey so Jamil is acting kind of sus right now”
“Why am I being sus?” 
“Idk man you looked like you faked a task”
Jamil was An Imposter (1 imposter remaining) 
“Nooo Jamil why would you betray me like this (´;ω;`)” -Kalim
If Jamil and Kalim are imposters, Kalim would be the nice imposters who would barely kill anyone, while Jamil is out on a killing spree
If there’s one thing Kalim is good at it’s convincing people that Jamil is good person 
And people would believe Kalim 
Because our dorm leader is so sweet and kind that he wouldn’t defend a killer right?
Well Kalim also got that little dark side in him (that one sprite if ya know what I mean)
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Why would Pomefiore play such a weird game? 
Uhh apparently Epel and Rook 
Epel heard Ace and Deuce talking about it once and wanted to try it out 
He knew Vil wouldn’t allow him to play it so he asked Rook if he wanted to play with some other pomefiore students
Rook thought this would be a perfect opportunity for Epel to open up to Pomefiore
When playing the game Rook found it really interesting 
He may have slipped it up to Vil about the game 
Vil would roll his eyes because he has heard about it from the other dorm heads
Rook would invite Vil to play a round with them if he feels like it
Vil would at first say no but after watching Rook play a round of Imposter, Vil was intrigued 
This imposter role is very interesting to Vil
Once Vil does come to try out the game he is very hooked on the idea of all of this 
A chance for him to shine above everyone
If Rook and Vil area duo it’s over
Their going to win no matter what
Rook is always backing up Vil and everyone just believes him
If Epel and Rook are Duo it’s just Chaotic, Rook would just kill everyone and epel would just not know what to do
Out of the three Vil is probably the best at being imposter
Rook would never vote for Vil so everyone would pretty much just lose 
If the imposter was not Vil or Epel they would kill Rook first just so they can even the votes
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As soon as the game is release, Idia was already playing it with some of his online friends 
When it started to get popular at NRC he started to get a little shy on playing the game since that means there’s a chance that he has to play a round with someone from another dorm 
Unless it’s with Octavinelle trio 
Then he’s fine with them 
When he plays a round where he is really confident he feels really bold and starts arguing with people 
Out of everyone Ortho is the best at being imposter
I mean he’s super cute
Why would he ever kill someone?
Well clearly that was a lie, he acts super innocent that in fact Idia wouldn’t even believe that Ortho was the imposter
Idia and Ortho is deadly duo 
Idia would go on a killing spree while Ortho would be distracting the rest of the crew 
If people are accusing Idia for being imposter Ortho would go full cute little brother 
That would make everyone feel guilty for ever thinking that Idia was an imposter
If people were accusing Ortho for being imposter, Idia would hard defend Ortho over everything 
Ortho really loves playing this game because that means he gets to spend time with his friend and his brother at the same time! 
Ignihyde probably has like 3 Among Us servers going on that is always so full
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Ohhh boy this dorm is old but they really enjoy this game
But it is always split
Sebek being Sebek would defend Malleus up and down 
Not even Lilia can convince him that Malleus might be the imposter
“NO NO MALLEUS-SAMA WOULD NEVER”
Everyone has their volume really low because Sebek’s voice is so loud that at low volume it sounds like Sebek is arguing at a normal voice level 
Silver is probably AFK most of the round 
Lilia would always be taking his sweet time doing task
Sebek ABSOLUTELY hates the admin task (the card swiping one) he wants to get his task done so he could be by Mallues 
Malleus is just wandering around wondering how to do all the task, especially simon says 
If Sebek and Silver are a duo, they are really good imposter duo
They would vote Sebek out first since he has a loud mouth 
But since Silver is almost always AFK he can kill people that check if he’s still afk
Silver is best at playing imposter 
His afk tactic is always so smart 
Sebek is the worst at playing imposter 
All it takes is Malleus asking him if Sebek is the imposter and he would confess
Lilia and Malleus is probably the worst at playing imposter 
Since they are who knows how old, technology is really hard to control 
Especially trying to control the  WDSA keys 
Lilia would always love playing this game with everyone since he wants to know what the kids are up to these days 
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cloveroctobers · 3 years
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LEVEL 1 — Perception
A/n: to make things easier due to my hectic work schedule...I’m deciding on writing blurbs or short fics for right now, to get content out in a timely manner. I’m open to writing pairings but I notice those don’t get that much attention but I’m attempting to do so anyways...at least at the start of this series which is absolutely inspired by we’re not really strangers. I love the game, it’s very personal and intense so if you have the chance, get it if you’re open to connecting with the people you care about in a passionate way. I’ve also decided to make the characters a little bit older...college wise/around the actors ages based on these questions lol even tho these teens are already dramatic + have a lot going on.
Synopsis: a interviewer that Spencer is very familiar with, Rochelle Mosley has resurfaced to complete her senior year project at Claremont as a journalist. Rochelle is all about going big and never going home, so the first person on her list is one of the guy’s that intrigued her the most not so long ago. So she reached out to Thee Spencer James and to put the word out to anyone else that might be interested. And here we are!
::: S. James + O. Baker ::: All to me
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Rochelle is seen running her finger over her pearly whites, making sure they’re squeaky clean after eating her brunch which consisted of a poached egg, an açaí bowl, served with lemon water. She already spent twenty minutes brushing her teeth and whitening them last night to prepare for this moment. She knew this idea would guarantee her nothing but a A+. She had friends from the film department around helping her with the equipment and due to this Panasonic it made things chaotic opposed to having this interview face to face.
Rochelle knew that she could have at least met with Spencer for his half but decided to do what he was comfortable with. She wouldn’t push any boundaries...yet. Regardless it would have to be a video call since Olivia attended MassArt and appeared that she would not be coming back to California any time soon, according to her insta stories that is.
Nonetheless Rochelle knew how to negotiate so here she was working on their terms. With a sigh, she straightened out her posture, fixed the waves in her hair, reapplied some matte lipstick—again, glanced around her to make sure she liked her set up and eyed her friends to make sure they were doing what they were getting paid for, and plastered on a commercial smile as she connected the video call waiting on her two guests.
It only took a minute for Spencer’s face to pop in.
“Spencer!” Rochelle greeted which he replied with slight raised brows and a smile at her volume, “so glad you can be here and punctual at that.”
Spencer answered, “well you know, if I agreed to be something I don’t want to waste anybody’s time ya know?”
“Always the wise one aren’t you?” Rochelle commented before continuing on, “how are things? How is UCLA?”
“I really like it here, uh. I’m almost done with my sophomore year, but with the way things are looking right now? Might have to switch to remote this spring semester...we’re all basically on standby at the moment. It’s crazy times but we gon’ get through it, I know it.” Spencer chatted with ease.
Rochelle was multitasking looking to the side at her phone to keep track of time. Olivia Baker was five minutes late now, which was slowly working Rochelle’s nerves. The girl had her number and although they didn’t talk much through texts or through anything really, it was common courtesy to let someone know if you were going to be late or couldn’t make it.
“Yes! We have to keep a optimistic attitude as best as we can. I hope you’re being safe out there?” Rochelle met Spencer’s eyes, after silently debating if she should send Miss. Olivia a text.
Spencer dipped his head, “absolutely. And yourself?”
“Oh yes, honey. This thing is ruining lives unexpectedly but it’s insane to me that people believe this isn’t real. It’s the denial for me. Especially here in California! Then when they catch it, it’s suddenly a different tune. Sure the numbers might be a little questionable but not too much is a lie. Read the facts, do the research. But—
Olivia showed up. Eight minutes later...
Rochelle forced a smile, “Olivia Baker! How nice of you to join us.”
“I know, I know. I’m super late and I’m sure you don’t want to hear the excuses so let’s just dive right into this social experiment project thing you have going on. Sorry by the way.” Olivia rambled which Spencer chuckled at.
Olivia paused, “hey, Spencer.”
“Hey, Liv.”
Rochelle picked up on the chemistry or tension or whatever you want to name it. It was all still there and oh so fresh. She knew this would be good and knew they had to be the first on her list. Sure Rochelle maybe a year or two older than these two but she also had friends that were younger and gossipers like her so she always had the inside scoop when she needed it. So yes, she knew all about spelivia.
“How’s Boston?” Rochelle asked politely, breaking the two’s stare contest.
Olivia inhaled, “it’s better than California, that’s for sure. It feels like I’m getting a fresh new start and it’s just what I needed.”
“Yeah i see you’re at your best there. You seem to be thriving.”
“well yeah, because it’s new. Sometimes you need to get away, I mean I’ve been in California for eighteen years of my life. I always knew I wanted to be somewhere else...don’t get me wrong, California is still very much my home.”
Nice save there, Olivia.
Rochelle clasped her hands together with a wide smile after a small silence filled the air after Olivia’s statement.
“Moving right along, I’ve sent the both of you a series of questions that you both should have received correct?”
Spencer pulled the padded envelope from the side and waved it in front of camera. Rochelle smiled at how organized this guy was and shifted her glance to Olivia who widened her doe brown eyes.
“Ah, yeah I’ve got that. It should be around here somewhere? Hopefully. If it’s not then it’s definitely in the car.” Olivia pointed.
Rochelle sighed, “very well. Please proceed on retrieving the envelope, it’s crucial to this interview.”
Olivia scooted back from the desk and held up a finger as she disappeared from the screen. Rochelle turned back to the brown boy who was toying with the tan object.
“Have you read any of the questions, Spencer James?”
“I really haven’t had the time to, no.”
“Great!” Rochelle quipped, “this will make this experience truly authentic.”
Spencer thought about what was said, wondering where this would get him. He understood what Rochelle informed him in the email and she answered all of his questions. He knew this wouldn’t strictly be about him and Olivia since he invited his friends along for the ride as well.
“Please open the envelope as we wait on Olivia. BUT only read the first question on the first card, we don’t want you to get too far ahead of yourself since that wouldn’t be fair to Olivia.” Rochelle instructed while Spencer took a small inhale before doing so.
Spencer read over the card, his eyes flying over the words as he read them pretty quickly. He hummed at that which Rochelle began to question him on but Olivia announced her presence.
“I’ve got it!” She let out in a sang-song voice.
“Olivia, please open the envelope but only read your first card’s question. Spencer has already done so while we were waiting for you,” Rochelle instructed before turning back to the sophomore, “Spencer, whenever you’re ready please read the question and answer.”
How would the person closest to you describe you in three words?
Olivia halted as she pulled out her own card as Spencer showed the card while reading it from the side.
“I’d think they would say I’m...compassionate, hardworking, and...loving?” Spencer announced, taking his time on thinking that over.
It was Rochelle’s turn to hum as she asked, “Do you agree with his choices, Olivia?”
Olivia was confused. “W-what?”
“Would you say Spencer is: compassionate, hardworking, and loving?”
Olivia quickly recovered, “we don’t know if Spencer is referring to me on that question.”
“Spencer, when answering this question who are you saying is the closet person to you?”
“I—uh—I consider a handful of people that are close to me.” Spencer expressed, “but I’d be lying if I didn’t say Olivia isn’t the first person that came to mind. Even though there’s a shift right now in our...relationship due to the distance—among other things...we’re still the closest and that speaks for itself.”
Rochelle gave a smug smile as she looked at Olivia who opened and closed her mouth. Before Rochelle could encourage Olivia to read her question, she already went forth after clearing her throat a few times.
What reality show do you think I’m most likely to binge watch? Explain.
Olivia peered up at Spencer.
“Oh? I’m supposed to answer this about her now? Aight. Lemme see...i don’t know you seem to find a lot of free time to watch things...maybe it’s a film major thing? Months ago you were watching ‘I love New York, then you told me you and Simone were watching ‘Love is Blind’ or—
“It was actually ‘married at first sight’.” Olivia cut in.
Spencer widened his eyes and pointed at the screen with a small laugh, “that makes sense.”
“Why?” Rochelle wanted to know.
Spencer’s answer was firm, “that’s not our business to tell.”
Rochelle scribbled a quick note on that, ruling these two out on that question to ask later. She made sure to circle Simone’s name and put a question mark next to it.
“To answer your previous question,” Spencer redirected the interview back, “since a lot of these were love reality shows...I know that’s not the only genre you watch and you listen to a lot of podcasts. So I’m gonna say this show called, ‘alone.’”
Olivia blinked.
Rochelle waved her hands as she signaled for one of her friends to find the show on the laptop they were on, “have you watched this show, Spencer? And please elaborate on why you chose this show for Olivia?”
“No I haven’t. I only saw the trailer for it randomly when I was on YouTube watching lebron’s greatest moments clips.” Spencer replied earning a snort from Olivia and a eye-roll from Rochelle, “I picked that show because Liv feels that way, always. Like she’s never been seen before, truly seen. And this show tests these guys to survive on their own in the wilderness, putting not only their bodies but their minds through a lot. It’s mainly about survival that much I gained from the trailer. Liv’s always been a loner for as long as I’ve known her and feels that’s how she knows how to survive by doing it all on her own when she doesn’t have to. I see that and I understood that from my first day at Beverly.”
...
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)
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Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!
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Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling.  And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!
After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain. 
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And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98.  Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98. 
And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this  Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act. 
It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on. 
But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!
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Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days. 
So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy. 
So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate. 
So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can. 
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So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww. 
Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that. 
While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more  on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads.  Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention. 
Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it. 
We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut. 
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So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30.  So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise. 
Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that. 
Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium
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And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad.  Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs.  And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly. 
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One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from.  So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love.  Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that. 
We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE. 
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This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this. 
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He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that. 
Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own. 
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Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all. 
So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No.  Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy. 
Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe.  And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial. 
So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot. 
So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought. 
Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches. 
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She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story. 
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Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised.  Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off... 
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I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk.  Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque. 
Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating. 
So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times. 
So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that.  So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse. 
So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call. 
So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie. 
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Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect. 
So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening. 
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But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy  not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that. 
So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs. 
So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie. 
So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act. 
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I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues.  Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice. 
Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat.   Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it.  Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did. 
That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above.  At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay... 
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Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis.  The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie. 
Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her.  1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake.  2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not  in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit.  And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.
So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m  so sick of talking about her. 
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So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume.  So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that. 
So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF.  So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice  parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew,  while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose. 
So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy. 
This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her.  Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through.  So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection. 
So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake. 
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Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him.  And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star.  Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent.  So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate. 
So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times.  It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is.  The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE.  Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for. 
Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim... 
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But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID  Neil bring to the concert? 
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While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass.. 
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Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents. 
And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven. 
Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....
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Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag. 
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Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated. 
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Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve. 
Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome.  Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams. 
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Heck of  a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....
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Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...
Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....
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Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones,  Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here. 
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aliferous-ly · 4 years
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I've never really asked for a drabble before... If it's okay with you, could you do 7 "I almost lost you" and 32 "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified" with Logan and Deceit? I just kinda thought that it had the potential to make some angst with a happy ending. Oh and I only found you recently, but I love the writing that I've seen so far. I always love finding amazing writers. (I'm sorry, I'm a total suck up)
im gonna start this with if you’re on mobile, i am So Sorry
i started this and was like “ha im getting a little carried away” and then went “oh no” 
and thank u dear!! that’s v sweet of u awe 
summary: Declan is a loud and proud aromantic. Then he realizes why he feels weird, and off, and awkward around his best friend, Logan, and his world starts to crumble. 
warnings: f word twice, lying, parent being imprisoned, angst, questioning identity, if there’s anything else lmk!!
It starts, Declan thinks, when Logan smiles. 
The situation starts out innocuous -- they’re sitting in Logan’s room, Declan tossing a tennis ball up and catching it unsuccessfully, making a right disaster of Logan’s room with all the objects he keeps knocking to the floor. Logan, naturally, continues doing his homework. 
And they’re just -- talking. 
Declan likes to think his world should shift on a more momentous occasion, maybe with fireworks, fingers brushing against one another dramatically, Jason Mraz playing in the background. 
But it’s the smallest thing. Declan throws the tennis ball up in the middle of his sentence -- “You can’t tell me you hate white pines, they have the softest needles” -- and he misses it on the way down. 
So he takes a tennis ball to the face and sits up, sputtering, rubbing at his nose, arm reaching out to snatch it before it rolls too far. 
Logan chokes out a laugh, eyes squinty and wrinkled at the edges. His laugh fills the room for a few thrilling moments and Declan thinks it’s the most beautiful sound in the world and he can’t stop staring at Logan’s engaging face, in the upturn of his lips and dimples carved in his cheeks. 
He’s radiant. 
Declan’s heart squeezes, lungs filling with something heavier than air, a foreign feeling washing through his veins. Like rose petals or sunlight. Woodsmoke or freshly fallen snow. 
The gears in his chest shift and settle and he feels… right. More right than he’s ever been. 
Which is, of course, why fear swiftly follows this gorgeous wash of emotions, because this is unusual and anything unusual is often bad. 
Declan forces down the incoming wave of anxiety, schooling his expression into one of smooth disdain. 
Just in time, too, because Logan opens his mouth and says, “It was only a matter of time until you paid for your crimes.”
“I’m too pretty to die,” Declan replies, thanking the heavens that while his brain may be steadily turning into mush (have Logan’s eyes always been that striking? Or his shoulders that broad?) his tongue still works. 
“Implying Death themself has a type, intriguing,” Logan says. He flashes a look over his computer, the after effects of joy still written on his features. “Bold of you to declare what Death likes.” 
Declan tries for a smirk but can feel the way his mouth turns to genuine grin, the traitor. “Aw, Logie, are you saying I’m not everyone’s type?” 
“That would be rather ironic, wouldn’t it?” Logan says wryly. He types away at his computer, dutiously finishing an English assignment that Declan is currently ignoring for bigger and better things. “The aromantic everyone pines over.” 
That strikes an odd chord in Declan’s chest, like he’s a half-tone off; not quite wrong, but not quite right, either. His expression must change, because Logan pauses in his typing. He blinks at Declan. “Something wrong?” 
Of course, that’s when Declan’s brain decides that those words are simply too much, too much, his shoulders tightening, back tensing. It’s like his rib cage is squeezing his vital organs, which seems rather counterintuitive. He hates this unknown, this awkward buzz against his skin, the prickling feeling through his bones. 
The resounding crash of everything happening all at once is overwhelming and Declan can’t seem to decide whether to sit as still as humanly possible or bolt. 
Or, of course, do what he does best. 
Lie. 
“I forgot to do something for my mom,” Declan says, barely registering the words before they fall from his lips. He hasn’t lied to Logan in a very, very long time (he knows it’s because they have been best friends for ages, but his mind twists it into something of a foreshadow, even though it’s not, it’s not) and the resurgence of his bad habits leaves a nasty taste in his mouth, but. Desperate times. Desperate measures. 
“Oh,” Logan says, disappointed, and Declan longs to explain -- what? 
He angrily shoves the emotions deep into his chest. If he can’t explain them, he’s not going to give them the right of control over his actions. 
(He ignores the prevalent fact that he has just lied to his best friend in order to escape his presence, but denial, evidently, is not just a river in Egypt). 
“Sorry,” Declan spits out, meaning so much more than it seems. He stands, grabs his backpack, shoving papers and folders into it haphazardly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
“See you tomorrow,” Logan calls out hollowly. Declan takes that as his leave and he slips out Logan’s bedroom door, backpack in tow, keys clicking in his pocket. 
Something deep inside him aches. But he doesn’t know why. 
Frustrated, Declan gets into his car and slams the door shut, fingers white-knuckled against the steering wheel. He takes a breath. He’s fine, he’s fine. He’s probably just sick, or something. 
Or something. 
Not for the first time, Declan longs for a working aux connection. 
Because flicking through radio stations does not help. 
Lewis Capaldi croons Someone you loved on one, Sam Smith singing Dancing with a Stranger. He woefully flips through two channels on commercial break, groaning when the last one has Adele, which, really?
He remembers Virgil’s favorite station, and turns up the volume to forty, My Chemical Romance’s Mama screaming from his speakers. He pulls into his driveway with Hallelujah by Panic! at the Disco blowing his ears out when he remembers that Logan once spent hours rambling about Brenden Urie and a conspiracy about curses and he slams his palms on his steering wheel, furious. 
Can he not escape Logan for a moment? 
As Declan slams the car door shut, throwing his backpack over his shoulders, and freezes at the sight of the stupid Beware, dog sign that Logan had vandelized to read Beware, snake, he realizes that no, he really can’t. Because Logan is his best friend, his favorite person, and his life is irreversibly intertwined with Logan unless he up and leaves with absolutely nothing, starting from scratch. Which would be worse than death. 
He trudges up the stairs like a funeral dirge and when his door shuts with a click he leans against it, steadily sliding down until his knees almost touch his chin. 
“Fuck,” Declan says out loud, unable to keep the emotion termoil inside like it should be. 
His phone buzzes where it fell from his hands, angry against the carpet. Declan sighs. Rubs a hand down his face. And picks up the phone. 
There’s one text from Logan that reads, “are you okay? I’m not irritated but you left rather…” 
Well. The beginning reads as such. Declan assumes there’s more, but he’s unwilling to open it for the time being. 
Then he has three from Virgil, two of which reference an obscure meme video and the third which reads “r u home i wanna play dark souls on ur ps4”. 
And there’s a text from Patton asking if he wants normal chocolate chips or mint ones, and a followup that proclaims “never mind i got both! :3c”. 
He sends a quick “no” back to Virgil and merely opens the texts from Patton, leaving only Logan’s unopened. I’m not irritated but you left rather… suddenly? 
A strange emotion flutters about Declan’s chest and he groans. He doesn’t feel this way about his other friends, not even Virgil, who he’s known for ages and has gone through four too many devastating arguments to not be close with. Nor does he feel like this with Patton, his brother. Those bonds are, he’s certain, platonic--
Declan lurches forwards with a gasp, the realization bowling him over and leaving him breathless. He curls his fingers into the carpet, focusing on the texture instead of the immediate swirl of panic. 
He -- does he have a crush on Logan? Him, Declan, the aromantic king, who once boasted the world could never produce a human Declan could fall in love with?
And it doesn’t track with him falling for Logan either because Declan would have loved him months earlier, suddenly falling in love with someone he’s loved platonically… it just doesn’t make sense. Declan can’t wrap his mind around it. 
Maybe he’s just reading the emotions wrong. How can he -- what can he do that -- which -- 
What would Logan do? 
An experiment, Declan’s mind supplies helpfully, so, well. Declan pressed his back against the wood of his door and thinks. 
Hypothesis: he’s in love with Logan. 
In love? A very rational part of his brain yells. You were talking about a crush before!
So Declan thinks, and revises. Hypothesis: he’s feeling romantic attraction to Logan. 
Then he takes a few minutes trying to remember the following step in the scientific method and ends up looking it up on his phone, and it’s really long so he’s just going to cut some corners. 
Procedure: 
Well, Declan can’t think of any way to do this physically without making an entire fool of himself, so he changes the experiment into a thought experiment. 
Procedure: Consider emotions of other relationships and compare to feelings for Logan. 
Okay. Declan settles. He considers. He tries to imagine holding hands with Virgil and giving him flowers, but he can’t really picture giving Logan flowers either, so if it’s weird for both -- but he wants to hold Logan’s hand, not Virgil’s, and sometimes Patton’s, and Patton is his brother, he knows for sure his emotions are strictly platonic. So if Patton is the control group, the certainty of platonic emotions, Virgil is the one with normal emotions, and Logan has some weird emotions, so if Virgil and Logan’s are merely two different shades of friendship then Declan will know. 
Declan closes his eyes and imagines kissing Logan, because that’s what romantic partners do, right? He imagines stepping closer to him until there’s inches of space between them.. Declan thinks about leaning in, brushing lips before pressing in, heat curling in his chest and oh god, oh god Declan’s face is on fire. 
His eyes shoot open and he can only imagine how panicked he must look right now. He presses his hand against his chest, taking deep breaths. Then, reluctantly, he thinks about kissing Virgil -- nope, nope, eugh he physically shakes his head, gut rolling uncomfortably. 
So that is a big contender for Declan has romantic feelings for Logan. 
He sighs and clunks his head against the door. This sucks. Declan hates feelings. 
The door downstairs sounds, opening and closing, followed by a resounding, “HEY, CICI, LOVE YOU!” 
Dee sighs, a smile flickering across his face. He pushes to his feet and exits his room, wandering downstairs, aloof. 
“Hey Pat,” he says, leaning against a wall. 
“Ci, I’m making lots of cookies!” Patton declares, beaming at him, and Declan’s heart drops. 
His expression must, too, because Patton’s features are suddenly painted in concern. “What’s wrong?” 
“I should be asking you that,” Declan says, and he feels bad, unexpectedly, for not replying to Patton’s text earlier. “Lots of cookies? With mint and chocolate chips? Enough to feed an army?” 
Patton’s arms wilt and Declan reads the tremor in his shoulders, the glisten of his eyes. Patton tries for a smile and misses by a mile. 
Declan crosses to where Patton stands in five steps, wrapping his arms around his smaller brother, pressing his cheek against Patton’s head. “What’s wrong?” 
Patton takes a shuddering breath, returning the hug. “Nothing, really. I’m glad you’re home.” 
“Ah,” Declan says. He tightens his grip on Patton. “Do you want help?” 
“No.” Patton presses his face into Declan’s chest. He’s shaking, ever so slightly. “Can you talk with me at the counter, though?” 
“Of course,” Declan agrees, mentally side-tabling his emotional turmoil. 
“Okay,” Patton says. He’s quiet for a few more moments, then says, “And Steven Universe later?” 
“Anything,” Declan says. He makes a face. The word had slipped out unbidden, but Patton doesn’t tease him for it. 
“Alright.” Patton pulls away, takes a breath. “I’m about to make the best damn cookies the world has ever seen.” 
“Damn straight,” Declan says, grinning. Patton pauses for just one moment more before moving to the kitchen, dropping various ingredients onto the counter and moving smoothly to gather more. 
Declan wonders at his influence on Patton’s vulgar mouth, then shrugs. Patton’s a teenager. He can do what he wants. 
“Weren’t you hanging out with Logan?” Patton asks conversationally. He’s pulling down bowls and sugar, obviously expecting easy small talk. And normally Logan is easy for Declan to talk about. He talks about him all the time.  
So when Declan winces, Patton turns and addresses him with full attention, brows furrowed. “What? What happened?” 
“I…” Declan considers for a moment to just lie about it but dismisses the thought. This is Patton. “I think I have a romantic attraction for him.” 
Saying it out loud only cements the certainty in Declan’s chest. No, he hasn’t quite completed the experiment, but he just… knows. 
The knowledge is both relieves and spikes his anxiety about the whole situation. 
“Oh,” Patton says, eyes wide. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
“Not really,” Declan says honestly. 
“Alright,” Patton says. He turns back around and a wave of affection flows through Declan. “How did Roman do on his audition?” 
Declan hums, eternally grateful for Patton’s ability to turn the conversation away. They talk about Roman’s skill as an actor for a few minutes, jumping to Patton’s involvement in VEX robotics (focusing on the robotics instead of the people) and they kill about forty minutes with Patton talking about his baby bot, Pat Jr. 
When the clock strikes seven, Declan throws together two grilled cheese sandwiches and they eat in front of Steven Universe and the gems, Declan stretched out along the couch and Patton creating a throne of blankets for himself. 
“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Patton murmurs, eyes never straying from the bursts of pastel on the screen, “but if you do have a romantic attraction to Logan it’s okay. You weren’t wrong in saying you’re aromantic. Because that fits you, you like it. There’s just more strings attached than you originally thought.” 
Declan blinks, the smallest smile growing on his face. “Thanks, Pat.” 
Patton hugs a pillow, eyes bright. “Love you, Ci.” 
Declan pushes his foot against Patton’s blanket pile in response. 
--
“Do you think we have to move?” Patton says, three hours into their movie night. 
Declan breathes, slowly inhaling as if it gives him an excuse to not reply. “I didn’t. I don’t want to. But probably.” 
“That’s why you haven’t told anyone,” Patton says. He shifts, turning to look at Declan. Declan maintains eye contact with the screen, despite having seen this movie countless times. “And why you told me to keep it under wraps.” 
“Yes,” Declan says, because really, he lies to the world, but he doesn’t lie to Patton. 
He tries not to lie to Patton. 
“But something changed yesterday.” Patton’s not asking questions. Somehow, he just knows, despite being left out of the loop. “And you were going to tell Logan today.” 
“Yes,” Declan says. Static thrums through his veins. Aladdin ignores a buzzing genie on screen, swatting him away to benefit his own desires. 
“What happened?” 
“Mom’s not getting out,” Declan says simply, because that’s it, really. Their mother is not getting out of jail. And with no father, their final hope is their uncle, three states over. Their father’s brother. 
Two months away from eighteen, and Declan is forced to concede. 
“When?” Patton asks. He’s trembling, but he’s not crying. Declan knows that will come later. 
“Because of the legal mixups and leaning on Sasha, two weeks, probably,” Declan says. Sasha is, of course, their next door neighbor, the crazy cat lady of the street who “watches” the boys “all the time”. 
“Two weeks,” Patton whispers. There’s a sheen in his eyes. Declan tries not to look but his gaze is like a magnet and Patton stares, stares, stares. “That’s not enough time. That’s not…”
Declan closes his eyes. 
He really thought he would win. 
He thought he could win. 
They only had to last two more months. His deadbeat mom had to last two months and they couldn’t even keep the legal proceedings--
He takes a breath. “Uncle Thomas is nice, at least.” 
“I don’t want uncle Thomas,” Patton snaps. 
“Well we don’t have a choice, Pat,” Declan bites out, stomach rolling at the words, eyes snapping open. 
Patton recoils, hurt flickering behind his eyes, but Declan knows it’s not enough to overpower the fire roaring in Patton’s lungs. “We did, we could have put more savings into mom’s defense, we could have found a place to live before it was our last resort but now we have to tell all our friends that we’re moving hundreds of miles away in two weeks!” 
“Mom doesn’t deserve to get out,” Declan spits. 
“I don’t CARE.” Patton’s fingers are clenched in fists. He stands. “I don’t care if mom deserves it or not. We deserve to stay.” 
“The world doesn’t work like that,” Declan says. 
Patton opens his mouth and snaps it shut, obviously restraining himself. A thousand emotions swim behind his eyes. Declan hates every single moment but he doesn’t say a word. 
He leaves. 
He leaves Declan sitting alone on the couch, watching Patton’s favorite movie. A door slams shut and Declan exhales heavily. They don’t get into fights, it’s just not -- Patton’s normally too upbeat to bother, Patton hates being angry, Declan normally doesn’t -- there’s nothing to get angry about, not in the grand scheme of things. They share easily, they have chaotic conversations, they… 
They’re fighting. 
Declan buries his head in his hands. He was too hopeful, too caught up on the possibility of the future to notice the sinkhole of reality. 
He really thought -- things would work out, Patton has his lucky charm of a personality and Declan works, he works hard, so things should -- Declan’s a senior in high school, halfway through the first semester, he should be worried about grades and school dances and friends and crushes and --
Logan. 
Declan curls, releasing something like a sob or maybe a dry heave. Whether or not he’s in love with Logan (most signs point to yes but there’s no way Declan’s addressing that) he still loves Logan, he loves being with him and talking to him and ordering his ice cream before Logan gets there to see the surprised and fond expression cross his face. 
Two weeks? 
To say goodbye to his best friend? 
Before moving, before picking up his entire life and his family (just -- Patton. Just Patton) and going somewhere Else?
Declan doesn’t feel like an adult. 
He doesn’t want to be an adult, either. 
Even if the world is asking him to be one. 
--
“You’re acting strange,” Logan observes. 
Declan shrugs. “I’m always strange.” He takes advantage of shoving fries in his face to avoid expounding. 
Logan sighs and puts down his burger. “Declan. Something’s going on.” 
Several somethings are going on, actually, but thanks. Declan shrugs again. “Haven’t been getting much sleep.” Which is a true statement. He’s written about ten different ways to tell Logan he’s leaving, nine of which are ripped up in the trash, one of which Declan just burned because he doesn’t want even scraps of that disaster to exist. 
Five days to go and Declan still hasn’t told him. Five days.  They don’t have many classes together, otherwise Logan would have pieced together the weird treatment from the teachers. Declan wonders if just disappearing into the void is an alright way to go, but a little Patton in his head chastises him for even considering it. 
Then again, at this rate…
“Hm,” Logan says. He has a thoughtful look on his face that’s absolutely devastating to Declan’s heart and general health and coherence of thought, let alone considering what’s about to come out of his mouth. “Is there a reason?” 
Declan considers, eyes narrowing as he stares at nothing. “I neglect to answer that question.” 
“So yes,” Logan says. The words fall from his lips with crushing sorrow. He takes a breath. “Why aren’t you telling me?” 
“Telling you what?” Declan says, internally wincing at the hurt flickering through Logan’s eyes.  
“Okay,” Logan says instead. He turns back to his food. 
They eat the rest of the meal in silence. 
-- 
Declan watches absentmindedly as Logan attempts to make a tower out of pens and pencils. With the addition of Roman’s copious amounts of colored pens, the tower is quite impressive. 
Two days. 
(Two Days).
Declan’s all packed. Sorta. Not really. He’s going to skip some classes in the future and pack all at once, throwing everything into the boxes (the empty boxes lining his room), not caring if anything breaks. 
He… 
He hasn’t told Logan yet. 
Or anyone, really, but Logan’s the one that -- the one that matters the most. 
Logan did, however, ask him if he was okay three times before leaving him be, because Logan knows that Declan becomes testy if asked the same question consistently. 
So basically, as far as Declan can figure, Declan’s a tool. Logan is trying, and Declan is giving him jack shit to work with. 
Patton has told all his friends, which means it’s only a matter of time before Logan finds out, right? Patton’s a sophomore, they’re seniors, and the school is large, but it’s also not as big as it seems. 
Roman, sitting next to him, hums under his breath as he types. He’s editing his college essay, which Declan would be doing if he had a college essay to edit and also cared enough. The atmosphere is strikingly calm, which leads to an anxious buzzing under Declan’s skin. 
Tell him. Just tell him. Just open your mouth and tell him. You’re in a library, he can’t get loud and yell. 
Declan wonders if yelling would be better, actually, than wide eyed stares and wounded expressions. 
He’s contemplating the merits of writing a letter (absolutely not, he doesn’t know why he’s even considering it) when he spots Patton out of the corner of his eye. 
Patton in and of himself does not scare Declan. 
The fact that he’s bee-lining for Declan and his friends does make him a bit nervous, though. 
“Cici,” Patton hisses. The cutesy play on Declan’s middle name sounds odd in such a harsh tone of voice. He glances at Logan before staring at Declan. 
Declan’s starkly aware of Roman and Logan’s attention when he says, “yeah?” 
“You told them?” Patton says, and Declan--
Well. 
A combination of fear and fury and regret zip through his veins at warp speed.
But Declan’s well trained in the art of deception. 
He schools his expression into one of cool indifference. “That I’m taking you for ice cream? Nah. I didn’t think they’d care. You wanna go right now?” 
Roman huffs a laugh, turning his attention back to his computer. Logan doesn’t look away, though, hand resting on a bright yellow flair pen. 
Patton’s brow furrows. “I mean the--”
“Man, if you were that impatient you could’ve texted me,” Declan interrupts with a long, drawn-out sigh. He stands, swinging his backpack over his shoulders. “I’ll see you guys later.” 
“Get me some ice cream next time,” Roman says, grinning. His gaze doesn’t leave his screen. “Bye, loser.” 
“Bye,” Logan echoes. 
Something registers in Declan’s brain-dead skull that Logan sounds lifeless because his best friend has been distant (Declan. Declan is Logan’s best friend). 
Declan pauses, sighs. Patton looks outraged and about two seconds from outing Declan. 
“I’m sorry,” Declan says. Logan looks up at him. “It’s not your fault. Just… I’m going through some things. You deserve to know. I shouldn’t shadow you without any info.” 
Patton looks even angrier, if possible, but then Logan’s talking and Patton hates interrupting people. 
“Okay,” Logan says, soft as ever. “I’ll wait for you.” 
And if that doesn’t make Declan feel like the nastiest motherfucker. 
“Let’s go,” Declan says, pulling Patton along before Patton lets loose. 
He opens his mouth, but Declan beats him to it, whispering, “Shh, we’re in a library.” 
“I cannot fucking believe you,” Patton hisses instead. 
“Language.” 
“You haven’t told them?” Patton exclaims. He yanks his wrist from Declan’s grip but continues following him, arms gesturing wildly. “You’re the worst.” 
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Declan mutters. 
“You better get me ice cream now,” Patton says, crossing his arms. “After making me watch that.” 
“That’s fair,” Declan concedes, and then realizes he’s going to have to spent the next thirty minutes listening to Patton chastise him and -- 
Honestly, he deserves it, but he doesn’t want it, but before he can say anything, Patton says, “don’t even think about escaping this.” 
So he’s stuck listening to Patton chastise him for the next thirty minutes until their next class starts. 
But he gets a turtle sundae out of it, so it’s like, at least 20% a win. 
--
“CICI,” Patton screams from the living room. 
Declan shoots to his feet, tripping and slamming his knee into the doorframe, scrambling to reach Patton as swiftly as possible. He appears at the edge of the living room, hand pressed against the wall, chest heaving, eyes blown wide. “What? What is it?” 
He assesses Patton for damage, but Patton’s standing with his phone clutched between his fingers, shaking ever so slightly but appearing physically fine. He’s staring at Declan, lip trembling. 
“Patton?” Declan says. 
Patton opens his mouth, tears dripping down his cheeks. He sniffs, making an angry noise in the back of his throat as he wipes at his face. “I shouldn’t tell you! I should let you suffer because you’re mean.” 
“Patton,” Declan says, approaching his brother like one might a wild animal. 
Patton shakes his head and Declan stops. 
“I’m upset!” Patton says. Then he lets out a laugh, choked. “But I’m so relieved.”
Declan doesn’t say anything. 
Patton sniffles a few more times, then peeks at Declan through his fingers. Declan tries for a smile, sheepish. Patton smiles back, watery and soft. His shoulders shake as he laughs softly, his phone pressed against his cheek. “I was so scared.” 
“Me too,” Declan says. 
“I’m sorry,” Patton says, the anger draining from his face and leaving a wide-eyed pile of nerves. “I didn’t mean it. You’re not mean. You’re just scared.” 
“It’s okay,” Declan says. His arms hand limply by his sides. He wants to do something with them, to cross his arms or put them in his hoodie pockets or something, but he also wants to leave them available for when Patton wants a hug, so he stands awkwardly instead. “I forgive you.” 
“I’ve been calling Uncle Thomas,” Patton says. 
Declan’s heart does something funny in his chest. 
Patton pulls his hands away from his face, rubbing his cheeks clean, staring at his phone for a few moments before his hand drops, dangling at his side. “He’s -- he said he’s coming here. His job can be done online and the stuff he can’t do online he’ll fly back for which won’t be often, he said it’s important to him that we -- have a support system throughout highschool, and he wants us to finish here before doing anything else.” 
The information barely filters through Declan’s mind because when Patton exhales another sob Declan steps forward and envelops him in his arms on instinct. Patton’s legs go weak. Declan sinks to the ground, Patton pressing his face into Declan’s shoulder. 
“I’m sorry,” Patton mumbles. “I don’t know why I’m crying. This is good. This is good.” 
“Sometimes emotions have a funny way of showing,” Declan says. He runs his fingers through Patton’s hair, untangling the curls. “You��ve been stressed. It’s okay.” 
“Why aren’t you crying?” Patton says. He taps his palm against Declan’s chest, reminiscent of a smack without any of the power. “It’s not fair.”
Declan laughs, sort of. “I might later. I don’t know. Emotions are weird.” 
“You never told your friends you were moving,” Patton says. “Will they ever find out?” 
“Probably,” Declan says. He squeezes Patton. “I know you told your friends. It’s better your way. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.” 
“Mm.” 
Declan can feel the rise and fall of Patton’s chest. It slows as Patton calms down. “We don’t have to move,” Patton murmurs. 
“We don’t have to move,” Declan agrees, and Patton presses even closer. 
--
Declan doesn’t know how he finds his way to the beach but at one point he’s baking Patton cookies and the next he’s sitting on a slab of concrete overlooking the pitch dark waves. He knows Patton is sleeping, or is at least pretending to sleep. He vaguely remembers writing a note in case Patton looks for him. 
It’s been three days since Patton discovered Uncle Thomas’s moving plans. Discovered? Convinced? Declan isn’t sure. 
And he doesn’t really know how to react. He’s been moving on autopilot, making dinner, doing homework, putting in minimal effort into his friendships so they don’t abandon him on the side of the road -- 
No. Declan shakes his head. Putting minimal effort into his friendships because his friends don’t deserve to be cut off without a word. 
Nothing feels right. 
(Something is off). 
He hears footsteps and before he can whip around, before fear has the chance to truly take over his body, he hears, “this seat taken?” 
“No,” Declan says, and Logan sits next to him on the concrete. They’re quiet for a few moments, watching the reflection of the moon, tasting salt on their tongues. 
“Will you tell me what’s going on?” Logan says finally. 
Declan closes his eyes, breathes. His emotions are all tangled up in his chest and he doesn’t want to tap into it for fear that if he lets out a little he’ll let out everything. 
But Logan deserves to know. 
(He deserves someone better.)
“My mom lost,” Declan says, which sounds nicer than it did in his head. “She’s unfit to care for us, anyway, but now she’s officially calling prison her new home.” 
Logan’s quiet. Declan listens to his breathing. He spies Logan’s hand against the concrete and longs to close the distance and entangle their fingers, just for a modicum of physical comfort. The slightest hint of warmth permeates the air around Logan and Declan wants to lean closer, to press their arms together. 
“My Uncle, on my dad’s side, is taking care of us. He… wasn’t originally going to move here, but Patton talked to him and he decided moving here is the best course of action.” Declan shifts. He doesn’t know how to say it. He doesn’t know how to explain. 
Logan stops breathing. 
“I almost lost you,” he says, and it’s barely a whisper. 
Declan glances at him and can barely comprehend the amount of horror shining in Logan’s eyes. Logan’s staring at him, expression open and terrified. “I almost…” He exhales, shaking. Declan watches him so closely he can see the sticking of his chest as he breathes, the tremor of his shoulders. 
Declan’s heart stutters and he wants to tear his gaze away but he owes, he owes Logan this. Even though the only thing he wants to do is run away, to preserve himself. “I -- I never told you,” Declan says, more scared than he has been in a long time. He opens his mouth and stops, shrinking away. He looks over Logan’s shoulder, unable to maintain eye contact. “We were supposed to leave two days ago. I was going to tell you and then…” 
Then I found out that I’m in love with you, and it freaked me out so much I closed myself off. 
Logan’s truly shaking, and Declan doesn’t know what to do. You caused this. This is your fault. 
“Ugh! I’m sorry,” Declan exclaims. He can’t stand this, these tentative moments, fragile as glass. He wants to take a hammer to the whole affair. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not much but I was scared, and it’s not a valid excuse, but I was terrified, Logan, I couldn’t leave you! You mean too much to me!” 
“You mean a lot to me too,” Logan says, but Declan’s on a roll, now, there’s no stopping the hurricane in his heart. 
He moves his gaze to the waves, finding solace and energy in the constancy. “I was going to tell you when we were hanging out a few weeks ago in your room, and then I freaked out because -- and then I left, and haven’t been able to figure out how to word it since, and Patton’s better than I am, he told his friends almost immediately, imagine, having worse emotional competency than a fifteen year old--”
“Roman found out,” Logan says, grinding Declan’s tangent to a halt. “He mentioned something to me but I needed to hear it from you.” 
Declan stares at him. 
“I asked Patton if you were at home,” Logan explains. Declan can barely tell in the shadows, but Logan’s face seems to darken. “When he said no, I knew there was one other place you would go. Probably.” 
Declan worries his lip. He’s that predictable? 
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Logan asks, quiet. 
“Because…” Liquid anxiety slogs through his veins. His voice drops, quiet, quieter than the sound of waves. “Because I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.” 
For a second all he can hear is the crash of the sea and his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He doesn’t know why the moon isn’t falling from the sky, why the stars haven’t combusted, because his world feels like it’s falling apart at the seams. 
“I discovered that,” Declan continues, the words slipping between his lips before his mind has any say in the matter, “and didn’t know what to do, and then I needed to tell you I was leaving, and I love you, and I couldn’t. Because I’m a coward.” 
Another beat. Declan takes a long breath. “I still love you. And I’m no longer leaving.” 
“I suppose… now would be a bad time to bring up demiromanticism?” Logan tries. 
“It would be a terrible time, but thank you,” Declan says, and he can’t help the small puff of laughter that escapes. 
“I love you too,” Logan says, then, and Declan can’t breathe. 
He turns to Logan without thinking, searching his sapphire blue eyes for deception even though Logan has never, ever lied to him. He can’t hope, he can’t dare to hope, the world would never give him two miracles. “Don’t trick me.” 
“I’m in love with you,” Logan clarifies, nervous. His hands are wringing together and he’s biting his lip. 
Declan reaches out, fingers trembling, to brush against Logan’s cheek. “You…”
“I’ve been in love with you,” Logan says. He’s looking down, away from Declan’s gaze, but he leans into his touch. “For awhile. I never wanted to bring it up because… you were so adamant about being separate from romance…”
“I thought I was,” Declan says honestly. “Which is why this is a real fucking trip, let me tell you.” 
Logan laughs, and some of the tension in the air dissolves. “I can imagine.” 
“God, I love you,” Declan says. He brushes his thumb underneath Logan’s eye. 
“I love you too,” Logan says, eyes wide and sparkling, then he moves forward and cradles Declan’s head in his hands and Declan short circuits because he’s right there he’s RIGHT THERE and he’s touching him he loves him he loves him--
“You’re gorgeous,” Logan says, and Declan just stares at him dumbly because his mouth stops working. His heart is barely going, the only reason he’s not dead is because his body has some sort of instinctive survival instinct, or something. 
Emotion clog his throat and Declan doesn’t know how he’s not sobbing already so he’s unsurprised when the smallest tear slips out of his eye. 
“Oh,” Logan says, wiping the tear away. “I’m sorry.” 
“It’s -- it’s not -- it’s not you,” Declan chokes out. “God. This is so embarrassing.” 
“I don’t care,” Logan says. He leans closer, pressing their foreheads together and staring into Declan’s eyes. “It’s okay to cry.” 
Declan smiles thinly, blinking away tears. “I don’t deserve you.” 
Logan stares at him, brows furrowing. “What?”
“You’re so beautiful,” Declan says. His trembling hands hold Logan’s jaw. “And you’re so smart and passionate, and you have the most wicked sense of humor, and you’re my best friend.” 
“No,” Logan shakes his head. “I mean, I am your best friend, but there’s no deserve in a relationship. We’re just people. People make mistakes. I make mistakes. Please don’t sell yourself short.” 
Declan wants to say that only proves how good Logan truly is, but he settles for a simple, “Okay.” 
Logan brushes hair out of Declan’s eyes, then sighs, dropping his head to Declan’s shoulder. Declan’s hands slide down to Logan’s upper back.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Declan says. 
“I’m glad you’re here too,” Logan replies, muffled. He pulls away for a split second, eyes blurry and a crease already showing from his glasses pressing into his skin. “But if you withhold life-altering information like that from me again there will be issues.” 
“I won’t,” Declan says. He swallows. He hates promises. He hates them, because he never feels like he can maintain them. “I’ll… I’ll try my hardest.” 
Logan searches his gaze, nods, and then presses fully into Declan. 
“Woah, okay.” Declan shifts as Logan clings to him like a koala bear. Logan’s basically in his lap and Declan, well. Declan has no complaints. 
“I can do this as much as I want because we’re in love with each other,” Logan mutters, and wow, if that doesn’t send a thousand vibrations across his skin. In love with each other. 
Declan grins. He likes the sound of that. 
“You know,” Logan says conversationally. His fingers trail up to press against Declan’s face, outlining his lips. “I love it when you smile.” 
Declan hums, his smile broadening. Me too, Logan. 
Me too.
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quixotic-writer · 3 years
Text
Letting Off Steam
Summary: It’s not often when Sal allows himself to really enjoy the time he has alone. While browsing the internet though for the perfect piece of media, he’ll stumble upon a video that’ll make him see his best friend in a different light.
Warning: Smut ahead!
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Finally home after a long day on set concluding another successful work week. I carefully take off my shoes, carefully place them aside, and head to the bathroom for a much needed shower. I felt sweaty, grimey, and gross. It was terribly hot and I've had so much pent up stress that tonight was just gonna be a night where I kick back and let off a little steam. The water was soothing around my body as I attempted to massage any sore muscles I could reach as I washed away the built up layer of filth on me. I emerge out of the shower clean and fresh and plop down on my bed in nothing but a clean pair of boxers.
I pull out my phone and begin scrolling through social media. Twitter, instagram, just to keep some fan engagement going. That’s when my mind began to wander off to other sites I could visit. It had been a while since I was able to fully relax and take my time to really blow off some steam. Seems my body had the same idea because already I could feel my dick twitch slightly at the thought of getting myself off. I relent and make my way over to pornhub as I palm myself over my boxers.
At the slight sensation, my head was already thrown back into the pillows as I closed my eyes and basked in the sensation I haven’t allowed myself to feel in so long. As I scrolled through the porn site, I knew I wanted to find just the right videos to indulge myself in. I truly wanted to give myself the highest treatment tonight, and so that’s what I was set out to do.
I found myself jumping down a rabbit hole of videos, tapping on video after video. Finally I had found one that really caught my eye and I was oddly drawn in by it. It seemed like an amateur video judging by the quality of the thumbnail. The guy in the thumbnail was fair skinned, medium built, black hair that hid most of his face. He looked like he was desperately rutting into a pillow shoved between his legs. Curiosity and intrigue got the better of me as I sat back and lightly stroked at my aching hard cock.
The video played and the camera was being put in place with a slight jostle. He made his way over to the bed, cock already hot and hard as he gave himself a few light strokes allowing himself to let out breathy moans at the sensation
“Fuck yes.” He breathlessly spoke. I was enthralled and my hand was working over my own erection as the scene played out before me. As I listened to the voice, the baritone of it, the accent, it all sounded strangely familiar. I wasn’t in the head space to try and put a face to the voice as I continued to pleasure myself.
“Baby, I need more. Oh my god.” He desperately grabbed a pillow and shoved it between his legs, his hips worked into motion as his cock slid against it and his moans grew louder and louder. I tightened my grip around my cock, stroking in the same drawn out rhythm as in this video as I lavished in the moans, exhales, and curses that escaped him. “Feels so good. Right there.” There was something about seeing him so desperate for pleasure that turned me on. The way he rocked his hips, the way he begged and pleaded, the grunts and groans of pleasure. “Wanna cum for you so bad. Make me feel good.” Each time he spoke with the sensation of my fist around my dick, I was left gasping for breath as my eyes rolled back and my hips bucked off the bed for just a moment.
I was moaning along with my eyes half lidded and glued to my phone screen. I could feel the burning sensation begin to build in my groin, I was getting dangerously close. I could tell the person in the video was too as the pitch of his moans raised in volume, his hips began to falter just a bit, and the grip he had on the pillow was enough to make his knuckles white and the veins in his arms pop.
“I’m so close. Gonna fucking cum. Cum with me baby, please.” His hips were moving faster to reach his high and my fist was a blur as I tried to chase my own.
“Fuck!” Soon enough I was seeing stars as I released all over my stomach in thick spurts letting out a long moan as I did. I was catching my breath and went to exit out of the tab, then I finally got a good look at who it was in the video, and I swear I could have felt my heart stop as I almost choked on the air I was breathing.
“Q?!” I said audibly. College Q was who was in the video. He was the person in the video that I seemed to have recognized. My lifelong best friend was the person in the video, and I just got off on his porn video. Sometimes I already feel just a little gross and guilty after jerking off to some porn, but the post orgasm shame was hitting especially hard today. I locked my phone and went to wordlessly clean myself up. What do I do with this new knowledge? Someone I had known basically my whole life and this was something I knew nothing about. Needless to say, I don’t think I can see Q the same again.
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merryfortune · 3 years
Text
Gachaplum
Written for 100ships Challenge on Dreamwidth
Prompt #77 Plum
Ship: Rocksaltshipping | Kureha/Spectre
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Word Count: 2,143
Rating: G
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Tags: Fluff, Self Indulgen, Inspired by a Tweet
   “Are you enjoying your drink?” Spectre asked conversationally.
   “Yep.” Kureha chirped around her straw.
   The drink in question was a tropical iced tea with strawberry bursties as the bottom. It was sharply sweet, right to the core of her teeth, and that’s exactly how Kureha liked it. However it, in combination with the empty tote bag Spectre was carting around, was a horrible omen to Kureha. Her boba tea had been the only non-necessary treat that Spectre had bought for either of them and clearly he meant for impulse purchases, otherwise he wouldn’t have brought a bag.
   But Kureha, with a little bit of dread and unuttered complaint, supposed that’s the kind of guy Spectre was. He was very mission oriented and put his organisation above himself. Today’s mission was grocery shopping, as mundane as that sounded but since Spectre and the others could be at sea for weeks on end, grocery shopping was huge and important. So, even though Spectre was empty handed right now, he had already spent big at the restaurant they had visited earlier and before that, at the luxury grocery shop they went to where they bought in bulk and would have it delivered to the docks for the Lieutenants to unpack.
   And Kureha had been lucky enough to tag along since this was a somewhat rare opportunity for her and Spectre to hang out in real life. But what was the point of hanging out if they weren’t doing anything special? Kureha agaonised, maybe it was her fault for assuming it would be a date. Then again, they also had a fancy lunch together so maybe it was a date. This was too confusing, Kureha scolded herself. Besides, it's not like she wasn’t enjoying herself. She really was and that was probably the main thing but she wanted Spectre to enjoy himself too.
   They had a delicious lunch at a Thai restaurant that had excellent decor and a wide range of food. They ordered a plate of their favourites each yet somehow ended up sharing their meals and soft drinks anyway. It had been wonderful, even if Kureha got a runny nose afterwards and that was a little bit embarrassing but Spectre didn’t bring it up, thankfully - except to rib her that even how she blew her nose was cute. Then, once they had had their lunch, it was time to get to business and Spectre had a very long shopping list.
   He took her to a grocery shop inside of a mall with a celebrity level atmosphere. It was stocked with items and brands that Kureha had never heard of because they were so, so, so expensive and yet, he handpicked what he needed from them without so much as a blink at the price tag. Though, he did assure her that he and the other Knights had already budgeted to a tee so there was nothing to worry about. He was in and out rather swiftly, hardly looking at all the things that Kureha was certainly dawdling out and once he was done, he had his things whisked off and taken to be shipped off within the hour by truck.
   With the shopping done, they had begun to exit the mall where Kureha had gotten thirsty and she had a keen eye for spotting cute and quirky shops that sold even cuter and quirkier drinks. Spectre had been more than happy to pay for her boba tea, even though she offered and it was very sweet of him but did make Kureha feel a little guilty since, again, that one drink had been the only splurge Spectre had allowed himself and it wasn’t even for him.
   Now they were just sort of wandering along, making light conversation whilst Kureha finished her drink. They were sort of on the look out for a tram line or bus that would put them on a route where Spectre could drop off Kureha close to home and then continue back to the mariner but it was difficult since their homes were such polar opposites to another. Though, given that Kureha wasn’t quite ready to end this not quite and maybe it actually was a date-date, it was something of a blessing in disguise so they got to take in the sights of this precinct.
   There were all sorts of pretty and intriguing buildings, the paths were lovely and well kempt without a nary crack or dip. The road was fairly busy with cars, taxis, and buses but it was the sidewalks which were busier with people coming to and fro. It was almost overwhelming with all the interesting things to see and do but even so, Kureha kept her eyes peeled for something - anything - that might just serve to prolong the inevitable and then she saw it: a bookshop.
   Out of nowhere, to Spectre at least, Kureha grabbed his arm and tugged on it. He pulled back and twisted round to scold Kureha, a scowl on his face but Kureha was already prepared with the best puppy dog eyes she could plead with.
   “I want to check out that bookshop, please.” she begged.
   Spectre’s scowl softed, “That sounds fine.”
   “Yay.” Kureha smiled.
   Kureha pointed out the bookshop that she had spotted and Spectre escorted her there. Although, once inside the pristinely white doors, they sort of split off. Not that Kureha minded, that was sort of her plan. Spectre was a bookworm, albeit an incredibly fussy one, so maybe he would find something in here to read and even buy for himself whilst Kureha was mostly killing time. Mainly by trying to covertly stalk Spectre from the manga section whilst he investigated the language arts section a few rows of books over.
   She held her breath, whilst trying her best not to get distracted by the latest volumes of a few series of manga that she had been keeping up with, as Spectre pulled out various books… only to all but immediately put them back once he was done looking at their backs. It was a little bit disappointing. Kureha sighed and her eyes downcast to a shiny new volume of her favourite manga but if Spectre refused to buy things for himself, so would she so she scuttled in closer to Spectre again across the floor of the bookshelf.
   “See anything interesting?” Kureha asked.
   “I’m considering learning French or Spanish as a hobby but I’m not sure which would best extend my current literacy skills so I think I’ll do more research before branching out from bilingualism to multilingualism.” Spectre replied.
   “Fair enough.” Kureha murmured.
   “Are you ready to go?” Spectre asked. “You seem equally empty handed as me.”
   “I saw a few things but nah.” Kureha shrugged.
   “Understandable,” Spectre said, “well, would you like to keep going on our way home?”
   Kureha fidgetted, “Yeah, that’s fine.” she murmured.
   Spectre made an odd expression but it was only the briefest flicker, Kureha was lucky to have caught it. Regardless, they did move on and left the book shop, unsuccessful on all fronts. Maybe their date had just run its course in the most uneventful way possible.
   As they walked, Spectre checked his phone and noticed that they should be getting close to a good spot where it would be easy for them to find public transport to suit both their needs. At least according to the maps app that he was looking at, anyway so he had his fingers crossed that it ought to be somewhat helpful even if it wasn’t entirely accurate or true to life. Kureha smiled and agreed. At least she would have part of a bus trip left to spend with Spectre before woosh. 
   Back to video calls and texts as their only form of contact. It was nice, Kureha didn’t mean to complain, she did genuinely enjoy getting photographs of how Spectre’s plants were going and sending him back the homework she was struggling with but quality time was nicer. At the very least, Kureha wanted a memento of what little quality time they did get and a receipt from a Thai restaurant hardly counted.
   Then, once more, in a complete stroke of luck, Kureha’s eye was caught by something that she saw. Not the building - it was just a generic convenience store - but by what adorned it: gachapon machines. Her face split into a huge grin and once more, Kureha grabbed Spectre’s arm and tugged on it.
   “Yes?” Spectre said through gritted teeth at Kureha’s prompt.
   “I want to use the lucky dip machines. Please, please, please: look, this one has plushies for that virtual pet game I like.” Kureha begged, clutching Spectre’s arm desperately, and her hazelly-green eyes were sparkling so how on Earth was Spectre meant to resist all of that?
   The answer, of course, was that he couldn’t. Though, he did give a long suffering sigh, he did let Kureha pull him aside as she used the gachapon machine that she saw outside the convenience store that they had been passing by.
   “Would you like me to give you some loose change?” Spectre asked as he stood next to it, trying to look like a mature adult whilst his girlfriend was very much happy to enjoy her childish side.
   “No, I’m right, I’ve got it covered.” Kureha said as she dug out her wallet from her handbag. She put in more than enough coins for herself and for Spectre, too. If he refused to treat himself then Kureha was going to force whatever thing she got from it.
   She turned the crank a handful of times and heard the plastic balls rattle inside deep within the machine. Kureha smiled as she waited for the internal mechaninations to stop and then she opened up the flap. She grinned as she held onto both lucky dips that she had bought.
   “Here you go, you can have this one.” Kureha said as she forced Spectre to take one of them.
   Spectre made an unamused expression as he let Kureha put an orange-coloured plastic ball in his hand, “And what am I meant to do with this?”
   “Open it and let’s see.” Kureha replied and she demonstrated, as though Spectre didn’t already know how to open a gachapon.
   She struggled, a little bit, but eventually got the two halves of her purple plastic ball to split open. She squealed in joy as she unveiled her mystery toy. It had a keyring so she threaded her finger through it and swirled the toy itself off her finger. The little plushie that she had won took the form of a felt, anthropomorphic plum with American style cartoon features adorned with a stitched on ribbon bow.
   “This is Plum and she’s my favourite of the virtual fruit pets.” Kureha said.
   Somewhere in the back of Spectre’s mind, that did ring a bell. Kureha might have sent screenshots to him of her virtual pet habit and an animated cartoon plum may have been one of them. So, his expression of bemusement faded and turned to surrender. He opened up his gachapon too but Kureha was way more excited than him regarding it.
   “I got…” Spectre idly commentated and was mildly surprised by his lucky dip. “I got Plum, too.”
   “Wow, what’re the odds?” Kureha laughed.
   Spectre’s eyes flicked to the poster plastered to the inside of the gachapon machine that displayed which possible toy was possible to win, “Well, it looks like there are seven characters and we got two, so it was likely a one in fourteen chance assuming all the characters are present in equal measure inside the machine.” he said.
   “I didn’t mean it literally.” Kureha laughed even harder.
   Spectre smiled a small smile and began to inspect his plush Plum. He thought it was kind of ugly, to be honest, but if Kureha liked it then he could perhaps entertain some fondness for it. The felt was a bit too coarse for his liking.
   “I’ll be sure to look after this.” Spectre murmured.
   Kureha blinked and her heart fluttered, “Really?” she exclaimed softly.
   “Of course,” Spectre said, “it's a precious gift from my precious Kureha. I will treasure it.” He put his own finger through the keyring at the top of the small toy’s head and then put his hand on Kureha’s shoulder, the toy bumping between them. Spectre leaned in and kissed Kureha’s forehead. “I promise to treasure it.” His words brushed over Kureha’s skin like a flower’s petal.
   Kureha’s face went bright red upon being kissed, “I’ll treasure mine too.” she eked out in a tiny voice.
   “That goes without saying, my silly darling.” Spectre replied and he pulled back. “Come on, we’ve had a long date already, don’t you think? Aren’t you ready to go home yet?”
   “I’m ready now.” Kureha said, smiling huge and holding onto her little toy.
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