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blushing-starker · 3 years

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Shame doesn't scare me, baby

Apparently, going on hiatus also means writing down what was supposed to be a lil ficlet and not stopping until several hours later. Starker said, Sophie, you're going for one last ride, dammit. I have no other explanation for this.

(Actually, a gif of Tom rolling his eyes helped in the creation of this story, thanks, Tom.)

7,000 words below, every one say thank you tumblr for inventing the keep reading line

Y'all. I don't even know man. This took me quite a few hours, my back hurts, my wrists hurt, but I could not physically stop. I took an hour long break and that was it, I needed to finish this. I'm actually happy how it turned out (guys i wrote more than 7 thousand words in one sitting. Thats the first time in months. Go sophie) Right, so Tony likes being treated badly only when its in a session and the scene has been previously discussed. When i mean bad, I don't mean physically hurt or verbally insulted, don't worry. He likes it when Peter treats him like furniture, basically. Peter's 19. This was way softer than I expected and I'm usually more formal in the notes but I have Not slept or moved in hours, I'm sorry. Hope you guys enjoy. Please reblog if you do.

They don't play this game that often. It's dangerous, in a way. Peter worries, because he's Peter, that it'll get to his head, distort the way he looks at Tony and lead him to a darker path he swore never to touch. (After Tony talked about his past boyfriends, this sweet young man had fallen to his knees and sobbed, arms clutching at his waist the way he had clung to his mother when Howard had wounded him. I'm never hurting you, Tones. I'd rather die than do that to you.)

Tony couldn't care less, really. He has zero doubt in his mind that the dark path Peter fears will be just that: a nightmare that won't become true. He knows Peter B. Parker almost as well as he knows himself; those pale hands, that pure heart, would shatter before inflicting so much as a slap to Tony's wrist. That's exactly why, comforted by this knowledge, he encourages Peter to make him hurt.

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Convincing Peter isn't too hard on the days where the suit's main purpose is to hold him up instead of defending the Earth. It won't be difficult today.

He is weary this evening, bones hollow after he had his own mortality thrown in his face by a pack of board directors crueler than the universe. There were questions now, when will we have an heir, when will we have a new young man to lead the charge? When will the world have someone other than a silly fifty year old to protect it? He had been shamed like a little kid that believed something stupid, treated like he was disposable and unnecessary, a nuisance. Friday tightens the metal armor around him, an attempt at a hug. The built in radio is crooning out 50's music from his childhood.

He's crying before he lands on the ceiling, silently gasping out his sorrow as a figure sprints toward him, red sweater two sizes too big and jeans ripped at the knees. Peter, his mind whispers, Peter, Peter, Peter. Gone is the genius. Broken, tired Tony enters the scene.

Your feet are bare, he says. What a beautiful thing, the human body. Capable of encapsulating a soul as precious as Peter's, capable of letting his baby fly while Tony had to craft a body for flight. The spider didn't give his lover powers, it tapped into what was already there. Peter was meant to soar into the clouds; it didn't matter that he had to run faster than a bullet and leap the height of a skyscraper to achieve it. Looking at the arches of Peter's feet, he knows that the man before him was born to perform wonders.

What he doesn't know is that he's said all this aloud and his baby freezes mid step, chest still, but mind, Tony's sure, working to adapt. Oh. They made it to the bathroom. Where had time gone?

Tony, I'm going to help you into the bath now. It's soft as cotton, the way Peter says his name.

Tony. His father never called him that, Anthony used to drip from his lips like tar and it would drag down his spine until fear settled at the base of his back. His name in his father's mouth meant pain. Tony, though. Tony went alongside the sound of startled laughter, his mom as bright as the sun when he picked her up and spun her around the room. Tony was paired up with a and Jarvis, the elegant namesake of his first AI answering that yes, a table for two had been reserved. He'd made damn sure that the times Tony left another person's mouth, it'd imply joy, love to his mind and not pain.

There's only adoration here, present in the wood paneled bathroom belonging to his lover. Everywhere he looks, there are signs of Peter. The fluffy red and yellow Iron Man towel hanging on the rack. Slippers from Target, ragged with age and slightly torn on the sides, placed neatly by the door. The disgusting jelly that musses up lovely brown locks is right next to the shampoo that smells like Peter (it's not the other way, Friday, no ma'am). Avengers stickers fight stormtroopers on the mirror. Peter adores his bathroom and it shows. Peter adores Tony and it shows.

His tracksuit/actual suit is folded on the counter, edges crisp and nice (Peter worked at Old Navy for some time and old habits die hard). A warm bath sponge is being rubbed all over his scarred body, particular attention brought to his right arm even though the skin there is flawless thanks to Dr Cho and her cradle. Still, the phantom pains are soothed and he can just sink into the bath, head not so full of sorrow. There are rose petals, he's surprised to see, in there with him. A Captain America ducky, too. It's not enough to make him giggle, but he smiles. Turns to look at Peter and he is always, always beautiful, but now he is stunning.

Soap suds cover his arms, the edges of rolled up sleeves are a bit damp, pink dusts a fair face (he went to the beach with Ned today, he remembers now) and a single stray lock of hair tumbles over Peter's forehead. The golden light from the ceiling haloes him and Tony is easily ten seconds away from melting like the Wicked Witch of the West, except that he'd be happy to turn to goo in Peter's hands.

Hey, it's a croak, throat sore and hurting.

Hey, it's a symphony, light and healing and nothing hurts anymore.

Wanna bet Bucky and Sam will buy a hundred of the ducks to fill their bathtub before Steve gets home if I send them a pic? That's more words than he's said all day.

Peter bursts out laughing, shoulders hunched over, eyes squeezed shut, tears slipping down, grin wide and yeah, this is the young man he's going to ask to tear him apart tomorrow afternoon.

--------------

They talk about it, of course, the same way they always do. Establish what Tony wants, what he needs out of this session. Make sure they will both be comfortable with what will happen, discuss how ok it would be to improvise a little. When everything is ironed out and it's clear that Tony is 110% himself, they set the plan in motion, let a team know what to do before they arrive. After all, it wasn't happening there; it wasn't at the Tower because he didn't want it to happen there, not in their home where every inch was a reminder of their life, happy and full of love, together.

They head to the remodeled Stark Inc building in a car, superhero suits reduced to the original red and blue Spidey suit tucked in Peter's backpack and Iron gauntlets, the ones he had on during the fight with Winter so long ago, on Tony's wrists. It helped him dismantle himself, putting away the full suit in favor of wearing the watch and black bracelet. He wasn't Iron Man in these sessions, couldn't be that version of himself the same way Peter wasn't, well, Peter when they did this.

He'd been more than half gone after the fight with Thanos, unconscious in a coma for what felt like a century, but was actually a year. Peter hadn't been told. A choice Pepper took to protect him since nothing could guarantee Tony wouldn't suddenly die, let alone wake up, let alone wake up and still be him.

He'd seen the footage of Peter in the bridge with Beck, had woken up literally five minutes before the final fight and had somehow been able to take back enough control from EDITH to at least have eyes on Peter. He'd watched the video a million times afterward, body confined to a hospital bed in space and unable to do anything except mourn and think. (Like hell Tony was gonna spring his newly revived status on Peter immediately after the fight. No, he deleted the doctored footage Beck had planned to release, ordered EDITH to erase all updates from Beck's team and, on the verge of passing out a second time, told her to be good for Peter. Then he'd passed out.)

Peter had died. Not completely, but he had. His heart kept beating, sure, but he knew the look in those amber eyes. He saw it with Rhodey, with Happy, with Pepper and Sam and Bucky and Clint and most of the time, he saw it in the mirror, too. It was a look that spoke of a somber ache, the loss of a loved one, and because of that loss, the loss of oneself.

War changed Peter, Tony's death altered him. It left him with a hole in his heart, one that wanted to be filled again. For a moment, it was. And then Beck's betrayal obliterated any hope of his heart recovering and something dark slithered in. That look he'd seen in Nat, in Winter, in Steve and definitely in himself. There comes a point where life takes so much of you that you want to fight back, want the world to drip rubies, make sure it thinks twice before hurting your family.

Violence started looking a bit more palatable when you were in that state. All the people who had that look had given in and lost a piece of themselves in the process. Hell, he barely knew the man, but Tony had recognized it, that pain and sorrow and anger, in Zemo's blue eyes in one of their conversations. Peter had also given in.

It hadn't been much, compared to his actions, but it shook Peter. Scared him, the ferocity he'd had, the whirlpool of emotions that led him to the final altercation with Beck. Peter had, to the shock of everyone that had gone through the, well, process Mourn fits, he supposes, (the loss of a loved one and the sorrow that came with it) and not process Rage (the loss of a loved one and the fury and indignation that came with it), snapped Beck's arm like a twig. It happened in a second, just a quick twist of Peter's wrist and it was done. Beck had shrieked like a wounded animal, sound raw and filled with so much pain that Tony had grimaced in sympathy.

It had jostled Peter out of process B and he'd transformed back into the usual version of himself, yelling at EDITH to bring a medic and comforting the whimpering man curled in a ball. He was back to himself, but Tony had seen it and wanted that look all to himself.

Ok, obviously not exactly that look and part of Peter, Jesus. Peter had recoiled after breaking bone, face horrified and shocked at what he'd done and Tony may be a masochist, but he would never push his lover that far, not when it would mean that he, too, would be hurt. No, Tony wants Peter to act, and he can't believe he's thinking this, similar to how Howard Stark and the board of directors treated him. Key word here being similar. They park in front of the building and with one last look and a soft kiss, they begin.

-------

Peter, decked in his oversized high school sweater, jeans, worn out sneakers and school bag, should not have the swagger of a billionaire CEO. Yet here he is, striding into the skyscraper without a care in the world, several steps ahead of Tony and not slowing down at all, shoulders squared, back straight like a ruler.

The crowd of feral lawyers ready to shred any fresh meat into pieces, the one that always loiters in the lobby, quivers, parts for Peter like the sea before Moses and Christ, Tony's already getting hard. He's proud of the way his baby is acting and more than a little humiliated that a teenager who two years ago couldn't stand up straight if it killed him is behaving more confidently than him, the fucking owner of Stark Inc and this building.

He's actually forced to speed walk in order to catch up and his cheeks burn; how do they look, a squirt three inches shorter than him leading the way like he was born to conquer the entire world and a middle aged grey fox following diligently behind, mumbling 'excuse me's while trying not to bump into anyone or trip over a briefcase?

Peter passes the registry desk and does three simple things that make Tony's knees buckle: he turns his head to the secretaries at an inclined angle, gives them a grin so proud, arrogant and dirty that the three young women simultaneously go pink, throats clearing, eyes widening and lips pursing and then he says, in a voice that invites sin to dance beneath the pale moonlight, "Hello, ladies".

It's the same move his father used to do to anything in a skirt; smile and purr. Peter Parker hasn't purred in his goddamn life, but fuck if that isn't close. He's pretty sure the secretaries are suffering through the ordeal of wet underwear just like Tony is.

It's a douche move, no lie about it. It's also hot as fuck and ridiculously distracting. So distracting, in fact, that he does trip over a briefcase. Lands on his ass with a deafening crash that acts like a black hole, obliterating all other noise inferior to it. A pin could be dropped and half the building would hear it. The lawyer whose briefcase he just stumbled over is probably new, but Tony's going to give him ten promotions in a row because he catches up quick.

"Guess a genius like you has more important things than deal with gravity, huh?" it's said with a smile, as if to say, well, of course you tripped, who has time to focus on the floor when they're creating amazing things? By far, one of the best saves in the history of time; 10/10, would recommend. His ego breathes a deep sigh, happy to be alive and well. The rest of the room is just about to imitate his ego and laugh it off when Peter bashes the atmosphere in with a baseball bat.

Peter snorts. Like it's funny. Ironic. So far from the truth that he has to laugh on instinct. Like it's stupid to think that Tony, with wet briefs, red cheeks and a glazed look in his eyes could be thinking of anything over than sex. The elevator dings and his lover walks in, scrolling through his phone with a bored look. He leans against the wall, the picture of arrogance and then the motherfucker yawns.

"Tony." His name drips down from that mouth, two syllables wrapped in a casual command. Like his dog strayed too far from where it was ordered to stay. He's scrambling, a dying man in search of a cure, shoes squeaking against the floor and mouth dry. The elevator door closes, but the burn of a hundred and fifty people staring at him in confusion and shock isn't cooled by the seclusion. Peter sighs dreamily and oh, he can feel even more ashamed, what a nice new discovery.

His lover is ogling at a picture of Steve, dressed in a navy blue suit and showing it off in the classic Captain America pose; fists at his hips, legs apart and chin held high. Peter looks like he wants to cover the blonde in chocolate and lick him clean for hours when Tony. Is. Right. There. If looks could kill, Peter's phone's casket would be on fire and launched into space. It's, he thinks, no, he's Tony Stark, he knows this stuff, it's a saved pic. From the gallery.

Peter Parker, his boyfriend who inspired him to solve time travel, saved a picture of Steve Rogers, the man he sort of envies, on a phone that he, Tony Stark, made for Peter's birthday and he's gawking at it while riding the elevator that Tony designed as they ascend through the building that Tony helped build and that Tony fucking owns.

Oh. Oh, this kid is good at this.

--------------

Once he had explained, through the course of several hours and various cups of tea, that he liked being shamed and humiliated only when he wanted to feel those things, only by people he trusted with his life, Peter had broken down. As in, needed a few minutes to reboot and function. So, he had drawn out that one syllable for an eternity, you like it exclusively when it's in your control; when you give permission to another person to make you feel bad, that's when the bad feels good? Because you chose for it to be both good and bad?

Therapists and world renowned doctors couldn't have said it better. He had said yes and that was that. Peter had dived into the subject; reading books on his way to school, upside down on the ceiling and tablet an inch away from his nose, earphones permanently on while podcasts played, web calls with experts taking up his time on the weekend, notebooks reserved exclusively for the new information always near in case he had to write something done.

Once a month had gone by, and Peter was still in his usual spot with an educational video playing, attention laser focused on the laptop and glasses haphazardly sliding down, Tony had pried his legs open from beneath the table littered with papers, books and post it notes, and sucked him down to the root with no warning.

It was a new record, three minutes and one second. He'd been smug immediately afterward, blood boiling thanks to all the pretty noises he'd managed to wring out of his baby. Peter's face when Tony resurfaced and finally looked up, though. That had him scrambling up, hands hoisting a petite waist (yes, he'd filled in quite a bit, but it was Peter, he'd always be smaller than Tony; besides, Peter blushes when he calls him his petite baby so he could be as thick as Thor and Tony would keep cooing 'such a pretty, petite lover'), teeth sinking into a long neck and legs running to the bedroom.

After Peter gave him what was possibly the best fucking of Anthony Edward Stark's Life, he had mumbled out, "babe, you read one more paper and prove that you love me enough to write a fucking thesis on my kink, and I won't let you out of this bed", between yawns.

"It's already a thousand times better than what my exes did." Cue honest conversation, Peter sobbing and his heart breaking at the sight. It was a long night. He's grateful for all of it, though. For the undeniable proof that Peter cares for him and hadn't once thought of beginning something he had no knowledge of.

He's especially grateful for that month of research now that Peter is walking towards the room the assistants cleaned up because the kid is behaving like a champ and Tony doesn't have to worry the way he used to with abusive past boyfriends.

There are people on this floor, accountants, if he remembers correctly, but they don't blink an eye at him or Peter; just keep going about their lives, talking amongst each other, getting coffee, typing away on calculators and laptops. It soothes him, gets his heart beating at a normal rate. What happened at the lobby is fun and all, and there are those that enjoy the constant danger, but Tony prefers breaks. This atmosphere lets him cool down, settle into a state that won't pose a danger to his heart. Peter picked the perfect place.

His baby turns out of nowhere, heads straight for the kitchen and doubt makes him slow down a tad. It's their first time here, so, obviously, Peter must have looked at the floor plans. That was logical, he would've done the same thing. Thing is, he'd thought, well, ok, get to the floor, go to the room and fall apart, bada bing bada boom, clean up, go home. He hadn't exactly considered the option of Peter greeting the employees and plopping down on the cushioned bench in the kitchen after getting a cup of coffee like he was supposed to, like it was the most reasonable thing to do, like he owned the place.

Tony gapes, jaw on the floor as a guy brings Peter a grilled cheese sandwich and The motherfucking New York Times with a chirpy, "morning, Mr Parker!". He's going to combust, implode like a supernova and Peter just smiles, says his thanks and starts reading the newspaper. Spiderman nibbles on the sandwich, sips his coffee, turns the page.

Clean mouth, sip, nibble, squint, turn. Put on glasses, squint again, grin at the page, bite, drink, adjust glasses, turn. Over and over in a varied order that he lists in his head for all of five fucking minutes before Peter, not once looking at him, spreads his legs. Oh. Oh. Here?

He splutters, gets the side eye from an employee walking by and ok. Ok. Um. Well. It's not in direct view of the elevator, at least. Peter himself would be hard to spot entirely from the cubicles on the opposite, far side of the kitchen. He, on the other hand, would be seen if he gets between Peter's legs. That's not, he's used to a slightly risqué experience if it's a scene, but a blatant exhibiotinist? He doesn't have that in him, too uncomfortable at that level of exposure. Tony could say his word and Peter would jump out of that chair, ready to sweep him away to a safe place and soothe him.

That wouldn't cause any shame. They'd talk it out, be ok, go home and cuddle. But he trusts his lover. Peter wouldn't cause him any harm, humiliate him in a way he knows Tony doesn't like. He trusts the young man and he trusts himself to back out if he's not ok with the situation. One long breath and he walks. Slowly, though, because he doesn't want attention and because he's nervous as fuck. Seven steps gets him in front of Peter. Eight seconds. Roughly six feet. Oh, hey, his lucky number. Lungs stuttering and heart skipping, Tony sinks down between Peter's legs.

Maybe he viewed it wrong, and nobody could see them. It might be that, and anyways, the table and its lil curved bench were low to the ground and most people don't look at the floor so fuck it. The rug is pretty, a warm cream color that reminds him of the coffee Pepper likes. It goes well with the green paint decorating the table and his knees approve of its thickness. Jesus, Tony, just do something other than trying to guess the thread count of a rug. He hesitates, casts one glances around them, and slides his hands up strong thighs.

The denim drags nicely against his fingertips, a sensation that grounds him as he goes in search of his lover's hard on. The sweater Peter has on covers him mid thigh; Tony has to gently fold it out of the way and begin the journey to the jean's zipper. Where he finds nothing. Absolutely nothing. There's not even a dent, not a slight incline on sight and huh. Um. Right. This whole thing is mostly an intense aphrodisiac for Tony, it's Tony's kink, after all. But.

But Peter likes it. Peter has told him that he enjoys it; making Tony happy and acting like an asshole that doesn't give two shits. Not as intensely as he did, though, not at this stage, and that's understandable. Peter tends to get more, ahem, biologically involved later in the session. When there's some semblance of privacy, he can focus his senses and physically enjoy Tony's responses. By now, he'd be a bit hard, a bit discernible through the jeans. Therefore, the present situation is confusing as fuck.

He sucks his lip, squints, rubs at his eyes, counts to ten with them closed and then snaps them open like Peter's dick is a jack-in-the-box and it'll spring up against his mouth when he looks again. Nope, nothing. Tony looks up with a question on the tip of his tongue, registers what he's seeing and the oxygen in the room is sucked up, gone, unavailable, sorry.

Peter's quirking an eyebrow at him, head to the side like he's attempting to figure out what Tony's doing. Because Tony, apparently, isn't supposed to suck him down in broad daylight and be ignored by his boyfriend in a public place with employees still working.

He's distantly aware of the noise he's making, a gargled plea mixed with a shocked gasp, a moan intertwined with what may be a shriek or a wail. What comes out as comprehensible though, is a very choked up "Peter" that's punched out of him. Classifying it as comprehensible is a nice gesture, but he doubts anyone else named Peter would understand what he said.

"Mr Parker, sorry to interrupt, but have you seen a brown puppy around? A really affectionate one? My daughter brought it in her backpack and now it's loose."

Tony jolts, flies five feet up like the time his mom caught him eating a girl out in his dad's office. His knee bangs against the side of the table, and this is it, game over, everybody go home. The pain, sharp as a knife, goes beautifully with the white hot shame curdling in the back of his spine, and he is blind. Hulk could roar in his ears and he still wouldn't hear it; his head is filled with white noise, the world has gone black, every nerve in his body is fucking alight and Christ, he hadn't noticed how hard kneeling for Peter made him. A live wire could zap him right now and he'll spill in his jeans like a teenager, like Peter used to do, sometimes still does and that image is burning his retinas now.

The role reversal, pretty little Peter Parker with a tendency to go off in minutes not even the slightest shade of turned on, 100% disinterested and Tony Stark, infamous playboy, a madman in the sheets, about to cry out because of something so stupid, so menial, so ordinary, so embarrassing and humiliating, is, he's not ashamed to say, the sexiest thing he's ever experienced in fifty years. A hand yanks him down and Tony nuzzles, finds Peter's shoulder and decides, yeah, I'll just die here against this soft sweater. His legs curl up underneath him and he will never leave this couch, how could he?

Peter wraps an arm around him, superhuman strength holding him tight; it's to keep him from sliding down, but Tony knows, deep in his chest, that's it's to comfort him, too. A reminder that Peter's got him, is right here next to him.

"I'll be on the lookout, but I haven't seen any other puppies here." That distinction, I, as in, Tony doesn't count and other, as in, Tony doesn't count because he's also a dog so how could he help and be useful? A whine rises in his throat and he clobbers it. Blind, but slowly regaining his mind, he takes off his bracelet from his left hand (yellow in the stoplight system) and shoves it at Peter. His lover instantly drags him closer, humming a bit off key and low enough that only Tony would notice. It's his mom's favorite song. That's enough to settle his heart for now.

"Ah, thank you, anyway, Mr Parker." Footsteps. A moment and then Peter bends his head, kisses at a warm cheek. The blazing inferno is gone, but residual heat continues to lick at his bones. "I'm ok. Just a few minutes and I'm good to go."

Another kiss. The rustle of the newspaper, the hushed talk and clacking of keys. Breeze from an air conditioner, a hint of lavender to it, the grilled cheese. It slowly washes over him, the reality of the world around him, the truth in it. He is here and here is next to Peter, the real one. (Not the one in his dreams, not the one that accompanied him through death and comforted him with bright light.)

"Eat a bit, yeah? Your throat must be sore and it's around snack time." Tony doesn't like knowing the hour, it fucks him up; the knowledge of how long it's taken him has shaken him in the past, rattled his brain. Like this, all he needs to know is that he has to eat, hydrate.

"You got another sandwich under this hoodie?" Peter snorts and wow, thank God, he doesn't immediately associate it with the lobby; that'd be an interesting response to explain to Pepper.

"I never ate the grilled cheese."

Tony blinks, unfurls from his position and sits straighter to look at his lover. He narrows his eyes, "I saw you eat it. For, like, five minutes." The grin Peter gives him, Peter's grin, not the other one, has no right being that smug or lovely.

"I nibbled at it, but I never ate it completely. I only got the crusts down, see?" He picks it up and yup, Peter ate the crust. Tony hates the crust. Tears gather in his eyes and he smashes his face in Peter's sweater, overwhelmed and giddy.

"You're beautiful."

Peter breathes in sharply, gently cradles Tony. "Oh." It always gets him, how lucky he is to have someone like Peter; how lucky they are to have each other. They sit there for a while, his ear to Peter's heart (even in his dreams, his mind could never conjure up this rhythm, couldn't recreate such a beautiful sound) and Peter's hand at his back.

The soft bread is slowly getting closer to him and Tony lunges, wolfs down half in a second just to nip at long fingers and make Peter startle. He's cussed out and half heartedly shoved, Peter muttering about rich gray foxes while he's busy muffling his snickers and giggles. The cup of coffee is put in his hands and ah, it's water. It has a tiny amount of lemon to wake him up with its tartness, and he loves Peter so much it hurts.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. My feet are a bit stiff, but I'm good. Got half the crossword done. Wanna play?" Peter shows him his work, neat letters stacked on top of each other; at a glance incomprehensible, but a little distance, focus and ta-da, the words of the puzzle were as clear as day. He writes down a new one with the pen that Peter probably magicked out of his hair. "Not really what I meant; oh, look, we got splendid."

Peter gives him a peck on the cheek, surveys the crossword with his tongue sticking out. Peers at Tony when no explanation comes. He clears his throat, face on fucking fire, and mumbles. "You know, oar lick."

Peter Parker, teenage genius, stares at him. Oh, great.

Tony takes a sip of the water, licks surprisingly dry lips, and tries again.

"Four clicks."

Now his lover squints, cocks his head to the side exactly like a befuddled cat named Elizabeth (long story, the feline child of one obscenely tall Brit and his redhead wife; his cat sister, he supposes) and a vein in his forehead is very likely twitching. He clenches his teeth, curls his fists around the blue sweater.

"Floor cinch."

"What?"

Tony snarls, hauls himself onto Peter and hisses, body aflame once more. "Your dick, asshole. Why wasn't it hard?"

Peter crumbles onto himself, hand curled tight around Tony's shirt. His lover has the audacity, has the gall to wheeze, spit flying and tears skidding down. Tony can hear his lungs rattle with every raspy breath of laughter, see the color rise, turn a rose red and feel the strength in Peter's grip. The kid looks like he seriously might die.

"It's not funny, Mr asshat. I thought it broke, or, stop laughing, I mean it, I thought something bad had happened. Will you please, oh, God, I will walk away right now if you don't take a second to breathe."

Tony angrily crosses his arms. He does not pout. No, sir. No skulking or brooding here. Just bristling wrath. Peter kisses his neck, goes to his cheek when Tony attempts to hide his neck in his own shoulder. The kisses are accompanied by giggles, high and sweet. "I am. It is." He doesn't stop the kisses.

Now it's his turn to blink in confusion. He looks at Peter, accepts the one chaste kiss laid on his lips. His father would keel over if he knew how easy Tony melted at the touch of his lover. Good.

"I have no idea what the hell you're - "

"I'm turned on, Tony. "

"... What, right now?"

"Yeah." It's like Tony asked if he loved Iron Man or Star wars.

"But, we haven't. I mean, we've just been sitting?"

"I haven't stopped being turned on?" Like he's the one not making sense.

"Oh, come on. Since when?"

Peter looks at him and he's thinking Peter's thinking an alien stole the real Tony Stark who's a certified genius.

"Since before the elevator. I could smell you, hear your pulse. I thought, I thought you knew."

The elevator. Before the elevator. Oh.

"Oh."

"Is that ok?"

"Yeah, no, I'd just really like to uh, get going with the session. I think I'm good to go, if you are." There is a chance he'll tackle Peter and devour him if they don't continue. There is also a chance he does that anyway in the session. Win-win, really.

Go, Tony.

--------------

The rug here is thicker, more plush and definitely cleaner. Peter toes off his shoes, slumps into the office chair (at the head of the wooden table, he notices) that's most likely ergonomic and takes out the Stark phone. His legs are just under the table so Tony will be blocked by the rest of the chairs and hard to view. They're really doing this. Ok.

The tennis shoes are neatly placed next to Peter's, he sheds his outer layer and, when Peter lazily rolls himself away from the table, ducks under the table. He begins to sit cross legged, glad he chose the stretchier denim, when Peter tsks. A hand settles in his hair and guides him closer to long legs. Once resting on his haunches, the hand curls around his jaw for a second before slipping away. They've never done it like this before, not for the sessions. He can spend hours warming Peter's cock or getting him to come multiple times.

Peter would be lower, chair closer to the ground and at the perfect height where Tony didn't have to maintain a strained position. It was good, always, so he's curious about this new development. He breathes on his hands, warms them up a bit before starting. A ritual that helps center him. Tony inhales slowly. Exhales and begins.

The calves are first. Peter's legs are glorious and Tony's often added more layers of armor on his lower half, concerned in case someone identified a disadvantage and tried to go after it. Even before the serum, Peter had wonderful legs. Now they could just run faster than bullet and kick a car a few miles away, no big deal. He digs his fingers in, drags the tips up and down to help with circulation. That and he knows Peter's extra sensitive when denim rubs against his skin.

He goes up, up and then sweeps down once Peter's breath's sped up. Tony holds back a snicker, focuses on massaging the soles of his lover's feet. He's seen the kid run barefoot on a gravel road and come out unscathed, limbs bare of damage. But looks can be deceiving. Slowly and carefully, he presses down with controlled force. Crack, crack, crack. An old trick from an old friend. Peter sighs in pleasure; a small thing that sends pride curling in his belly. It also kindles the flames a bit; the world's richest man, the guy that could withstand the power of Infinity Stones kneeling at the feet of a teenager that could barely drink before passing out cold. (Well, with Asgardian mead, anyway.)

Hesitatingly, he kisses each toe; they haven't done this either, but the surprised little noise it gets him makes the move worth it. Tony switches over to the other leg and Peter, now able to predict the routine, just keeps scrolling. He can see him if he tilts his head back; the kid doesn't flinch even as he snaps the bones. It's like he's not here.

Done with both feet and calves, Tony happily goes in search of Peter's thighs. His father had told him the story of Alexander the Great when he was a kid. Presumably in an attempt to inspire Tony to do equally wondrous things. And yeah, he'd listen, a part of his family was descended from the Greeks and it was, all in all, an interesting story. Unfortunately for Howard Stark, what had stuck to his head after several decades was the beginning of Alexander and Hephaestion's first meeting. See, what the whole world likes to remember is that only death was able to come close and defeat Alexander.

What Tony remembers, every damn time he so much as catches a glimpse of Peter and his legs, is that Alexander was originally beaten by Hephaestion's thighs. Spin it however you like, direct it the way you like best, it's queer as fuck. They rivaled the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus, so yeah, it's not a hetero love story, sorry, dad.

The point is he's been trying to get Nat to teach Peter that weird thigh grip thing so he can help Peter practice and be smothered by the tone thighs he has before him. God, he'd been this close to crying the first time Peter let him fuck those thighs, no lie. They're big, and strong, and capable of crushing his skull, and supple, and soft and so sensitive Peter had blacked out from coming when Tony had spent an hour just touching them and painting red flowers on golden skin with his mouth. Ah, good times.

But he's good now; Peter doesn't like him to spend all his time on his thighs so he behaves. Still. The devil need not tempt when such beauty is before him. Tony flexes his wrists, goes up and down and left and right without moving his actual position, hand only rubbing a small area of Peter's thighs. It's not much on a normal person; it's killer to a superhuman. Bruce had explained it once; the nerves send so many signals to the brain at such high speeds that blood rushes down to the area and the warmth is enough to make a superhuman shut down for a moment or two.

He slides outwards when the table top creaks, hands soothing gently now that he has Peter a bit more alert. Tony presses a kiss against bony knees, nips at them and chuckles at the kick that nearly gets him. Alright, message received. Tongue heavy in his mouth and anticipation killing him, his fingers pull at Peter's belt. And then the door opens.

His heart slams into his ribcage, the air gets stolen from his lungs and Tony is half way sure there is a scream lodged in his throat. Peter looks up, smiles, says "oh, thanks, man. You can just leave it at the end of the table". He's too far gone to notice how Peter has crowded in closer, hiding him; too tense to see that there's no way someone could view the body under the table from the opposite side.

The stranger leaves and Peter's web thwacks onto whatever it is, drags it closer. Ten seconds later Tony glances up; he's eating pizza. Peter is eating, licking grease from his hand and liking posts while the rush of adrenaline hits Tony like a train. Sweat actually drips down his spine, his knees have gone weak, there's a chance his mind has stopped working and he's not really processing here. Peter glances down with something that's nearly, yet not quite annoyance or disdain. It both shames him and sets him on fire.

Lip bitten raw, he yanks at Peter's belt, freezes when he sees the red armor. Enough time passes that his lover begins to bend over in order to check in with him. He's fine. Just. Great.

"Key. please." Peter relaxes, seems a bit sheepish and he doesn't really understand why, this is a brilliant idea, a lovely surprise and he'll buy Peter a cake for this when they're done, definitely, until Peter grasps his hand and brings it to the base of the cockring. It beeps once and falls away into two halves; one half slinks forward and wraps around Ton's finger like a ring. A ring on his left hand. The other half mirrors the action on Peter's own left hand. The kid clears his throat, mumbles out a limp "surprise" that's quieter than a mouse.

See, if you had told Tony that he'd be closer to crying than coming today, he would have pat your back and thank you for the advanced notice because yup, if there was one person capable of simultaneously making his dick and heart go off and explode in a shower of sparks, it was Peter B. Parker. He clutches at Peter's hand, rests his head on a knee. "Baby, I'm not gonna last. Not like this."

He won't; after the lobby, the elevator, the misunderstanding at the kitchen, the knee injury, just, the fucking kitchen as a whole, ok, the unexpected guest, the pizza, the look, worshipping Peter's legs and now this? Tony thought he'd had his fair share of intense sessions, but this takes the cake, the grand prize and his heart. A warm enough breeze is good enough for him; Tony's dying here and Peter's a vampire offering an eternity of goodbad shame alongside gooddefinetelygood love.

His lover slumps, leans on the arm of the chair with a leg propped up, yawns and lowers his gaze like it's the least worthwhile thing he's done all week, like his dick isn't a gorgeous pink and diamond hard inches away from Tony's face . Says "go for it" in a tone of dismissal and he's gone; growling finally, fuck, Tony pulls him in by the thighs, rakes his nails at them through the denim, takes Peter whole and moans at the weight pushing his tongue down. It takes him a significantly less amount of time than three minutes to make Peter break.

He slides the warm ring up a long torso, settles it over a fast heart at the same time his lover's cock goes an inch down his throat and game over. Peter shouts, spine curving in an impossible shape, glasses falling to the floor and hands in Tony's hair. The sound that his baby lets out is pure heaven, something he's going to replay over and over like his favorite album. He gulps down Peter's come, shivers like crazy, sucks hard while moving away and Peter jumps in place, hands replacing hair with the armchairs, breaking them.

Tony moans like he's being payed for it. "Jesus, baby, fuck." With as much grace as a newborn foal, he gets up, slides into place on Peter's lap; Tony whispers sweet nothings, litters chaste kisses all over, fingers tracing inane shapes on a warm nape before oh so carefully tucking Peter away. He pulls the zipper up, does the belt, straightens the sweater. Peter slowly comes back to him, and they're kissing, but it shouldn't even classify as kissing because their lips are barely touching, bodies exchanging air more than anything else.

Tonytonytonytonytonytonytonytonytonytonytony

Peter only stops chanting his name when he really kisses him, tongue licking away any fear or hesitancy.

"Tony, that was so good, so good, fuck. I keep seeing stars every time I close my eyes."

"Don't, my pretty baby, you were perfect, doll, close them then."

Peter's slurring, eyes clearer, but mouth still running on autopilot.

"What about you?"

There's a perfect spot on Peter's neck where he's extra sensitive and he licks at it, kisses it, bites at it until the kid underneath him is keening and a lovely pink hue colors his face. "Hmm?"

Peter sneaks a hand down, cups him through his jeans and they both still. Oh. Well then. Guess he has a new record, too.

"You shouted, nearly broke your back. It was - "

"I broke composure - "

"Perfect because the shame is fucking A, absolutely fantastic, but what drives me crazy regardless of roles, of sessions, of any added aspects, is you, baby. Making you happy, helping you do what you just did is what really gets me going. As seen by the evidence provided in my pants, my turn on is you, Peter. Though I gotta say, the ring was a genius concept. The unexpected guest, too. But I'm a bit wary of that."

Peter blinks once. "That was a robot. I thought it'd be better not to involve another person because it might make you uncomfy, so I brought the robot in. I was sure you'd notice."

He'll deny his heart cracked in two later, but it split like his composure while fucking Peter's thighs.

"God, I love you so much, Peter Benjamin Parker."

---------------------

Cue a ton of soft aftercare. The people working on that floor were all new interns happy to work at the company even if their first job was odd and included not intervening with Mr Parker and a sheepish Mr Stark.

#starker #sophie writes #ironspider #peter x tony #starker fanfiction #tonys not dead #slight beck whump #aloof!peter #embarrassed!tony #so in love it hurts #they love and trust each other #19 year old peter #but he died for those five years tho #implied sambucky and steve are a thing #i really forgot how to tag huh #nff

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james-joyces-right-eyeball · 3 years

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Absolute Favorite Books I’d Recommend to Anyone

This is a list of my top-tier favorite books that I would recommend/talk about endlessly to pretty much anyone (in no particular order). I know people probably don’t care but I just like talking about books I love so here we are.

Beloved - Toni Morrison

~ Based off the real story of Margaret Garner, a slave woman who escaped slavery and when captured killed her child in order to prevent them from ever being enslaved again, Beloved tells the story of a mother named Sethe, born in slavery who eventually escaped and is haunted by the figurative demons of her trauma and the literal (arguably) ghost of her dead daughter, who she herself killed. It is an excellent exploration of the horrors of slavery and of the haunting legacy of the institution for those who were subjected to it.

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

~ If you’ve been on Tumblr for a while, you probably know what Lolita is. The story of the predatory Humbert Humbert who lusts after, rapes, and kidnaps the “nymphet” Dolores Haze. An excellent construction of how predators, unreliable narrators in their own right, hide behind fabrications, almost-believable excuses, and pretty words to make their actions seem maybe not so bad. In the words of the book itself, “You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.”

Ulysses - James Joyce

~ Notoriously one of the most difficult books in the English language, Ulysses lifts its structure from Homer’s Odyssey to tell the story of a common man, Leopold Bloom, as he goes about his day. Yes, this book takes place over the course of only one day. We follow Bloom as well as Joyce’s literary counterpart Stephen Daedalus through their thoughts and actions, gathering details of their lives previous throughout. It’s a book that, in my own words, “is life”. It is sad, funny, strange, vulgar, disgusting, beautiful, revelatory, sensual, and nonsensical all at once. Joyce aimed to create a reflection of life through his stream-of-consciousness style which some people might find confusing, but I personally find absolutely beautiful and honest and realistic. The prose is also gorgeous, but that could be applied to everything Joyce wrote.

Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

~ The classic gothic book that tells the tale of Heathcliff and his ultimately destructive love of Catherine Earnshaw, whose eventual marriage to someone else and the general mistreatment of him by her family drives Heathcliff insane and he spends the rest of his life trying to take revenge by abusing and torturing the next Earnshaw and Linton (the family into which Catherine marries) generations. If I’m being honest, I like this book mostly because of how wild and dark it is, but the writing is also genius and beautiful. I think the book also carries an interesting view of the destructive nature of revenge, overzealous love, and othering.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith

~ A coming-of-age story at the turn of the century that tells the story of Francie Nolan, a young bookish girl growing up in a lower class family in New York City. It tells about her father’s struggles with alcoholism as well as her mother’s struggles to deal with that and at the same time raise Francie and her brother. Francie is confronted with a strange, uncertain world as a young girl, but tries to face it with bravery throughout childhood

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

~ Another coming-of-age story, this time about four young sisters: Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy March. You are probably familiar with this book already; it’s had more movie adaptations then I can possibly remember off the top of my head. It’s the story of four sisters as they try to navigate growing up, love, and loss during the mid to late 1800s.

The Color Purple - Alice Walker

~ A novel that tells the story of Celie, a young black woman who is raped and then married young to a man who will go on to use and abuse her, through her letters to God. Throughout the novel she meets Shug Avery, a woman with whom she eventually falls in love and begins a relationship with. Through this and her eventual freedom from her abusive husband, she is able to gain at last her own sense of self and take back control over her life, a life no longer ruled by the abusive men around her.

The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison

~ The tragic story of young black girl Pecola Breedlove, who wants nothing more than to have blonde hair and blue eyes just like the women she sees in the movies. Both a deconstruction of the whiteness of beauty standards as well as how these standards can utterly destroy vulnerable young girls, it is also an exploration of the people who allow these sorts of things to happen, including Pecola’s mother and father. The Bluest Eye, I think, showcases one of the aspects of Toni Morrison that I like the most, that I aspire to the most: her ability to enter the minds of all people, even people who you might despise at first. Her characters, especially Cholly in The Bluest Eye, are ones you might not entirely sympathize with, but they will always be ones you understand.

The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

~ Based off of the author’s own experiences as a young college student, The Bell Jar tells the story of Esther Greenwood, whose depression over her place as a woman in a patriarchal society as well as her inability to choose a life path for herself leads to a suicide attempt and a subsequent stay in a mental hospital. A very nuanced portrayal of mental illness, especially anxiety and depression, The Bell Jar is an extremely moving and relatable story for me and clearly is as well for others. It is a classic for a reason.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

~ A memoir of Angelou’s childhood, this book tells the story of her experiences living as a black girl in the south with her grandmother and brother as well as her later years living with her mother. It also tells of how she was raped by her mother’s boyfriend when she was around eight or nine, and how she struggled to live with that and find her voice, both literally and figuratively. A wonderful book about overcoming struggles and the power of words and literature in such times.

Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison

~ Ellison’s novel tells the story of a young black man, never getting a name in the text, and his feelings of invisibility and his struggles to find a place in society to belong. His struggles only lead him further into despair, until he decides to “become invisible” as people seem not to see him as a person anyway. Invisible Man is an exploration of American mid-century racism and the isolation it causes to those subjected to it. Not only that, but it is surprisingly relevant to our times now, especially on the subject of police violence. (Personal anecdote: When I first read this book, when I got to the aforementioned police violence part it was right in the middle of the BLM resurgence last summer and I cried for a good twenty minutes while reading that chapter over how nothing had changed and it still hurts me to think about it. Embarrassingly, my dad walked in on me while I was crying, and I had to quickly explain it away.)

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce

~ The title basically says it all lol. This book tells of the coming-of-age of Stephen Daedalus (the same one from the later-written Ulysses). His sensitive childhood, his awkward and lustful adolescence, his feelings of Irish nationality and Catholic guilt, and his struggles to fully realize himself, both as an artist and a human being. It is a very hopeful story, and one that I love mostly because I relate so much to Stephen Daedalus as an artist and as a person.

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

~ A magical-realist intergenerational family drama, Marquez’s book traces the various lives and loves of the Buendia family over the course of (you guessed it!) one hundred years. A beautifully written, at times extremely emotionally moving and chilling masterpiece, Marquez in a way retells the history of Colombia, of its colonization and exploitation.

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

~ A classic Russian novel of society and love, Tolstoy tells the story of Anna Karenina, married, wealthy woman with a child she adores. However, she falls in love with another man, Count Vronsky, and comes to a tragic end for her love. The parallel story of the novel is that of Konstantin Levin, a wealthy landowner who also struggles to find fulfillment in his life and understand his place in society.

The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner

~ A novel that features an entire family of unreliable narrators, The Sound and the Fury details the fall of a once-prominent southern Compson family and always-present place of the past. There are four different narratives: Benjy Compson, a mentally disabled man who is unsure of his surroundings and of time and only knows that he misses his older sister Caddy; Quintin Compson, the eldest son and a Harvard man both obsessed with his sister retaining her “purity” and the fact that she failed to do so and had a baby out of wedlock, going as far to claim it is his baby in an attempt to preserve something of the family reputation; Jason Compson, who is the caretaker of Caddy’s daughter and believes her to be going down her mother’s “sinful” path; and Dilsey, the black maid of the Compson’s who unlike the people she cares for is not weighed down by their history. The narratives take place in different time periods and is in a stream-of-consciousness style. It’s a deeply dark and disturbing novel about the haunting nature of the past, a common theme in Faulkner’s work (see Absalom, Absalom! for more of this).

Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison

~ It is the story of Milkman Dead, a young black man growing up in the south and his relationship with his very complicated family. To say anymore would be to spoil the novel, but I will say that it is an excellent book about family, self-fulfillment in a world that tries to deny you that, and, like The Bluest Eye, exhibits Morrison’s excellent character work.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - Tennessee Williams

~ A play which takes place on the patriarch of a family’s birthday in the oppressive heat of the midsummer south, Williams’ play explores lies, secrets, and how repression only results in anger, frustration, and sadness. It’s a tragic but brilliant play that I think was very ahead of its time. If you’ve read it (or do read it) then you know what I mean.

Giovanni’s Room - James Baldwin

~ This book tells the story of a young man and his love of another man named Giovanni while he is in Paris. It is a book about love, queer guilt, and has what I would call an ambiguous ending. There is uncertainty at the end, but there does seem to be some kind of acceptance. It is a bit of a coming-out story, but more than that it is a story of personal acceptance and at the same time a sad, tragic love story.

HERmione - H.D.

~ An underrated modernist masterpiece, HERmione is a somewhat fictionalized account of the author, Hilda Doolittle’s, experience as a young aspiring poet dating another poet (in real life Ezra Pound in this book named George Lowndes) who is a threat to her both physically and emotionally. It explores her own mental state, as she considers herself a failure and falls in love with a woman for the first time (Fayne Rabb in the book, Frances Gregg in real life).

To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf

~ People think about going to a lighthouse. They do not. A couple years and a war passes then they do. That may seem like a boring plot, and you may be right. However, To the Lighthouse is not much about plot. It is more about the inner lives of its characters, a family and their friends, on two different occasions of their lives: one before WWI and one after WWI. Woolf explores in this novel the trauma that results from such a massive loss of life and security. Not only that, she also explores the nature of art (especially in female artists) in the character of Lily Briscoe and her struggles to complete a painting. It’s a short novel, but it contains so much about life, love, and loss within these few pages.

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers

~ A southern gothic novel about isolation and loneliness in a small town. Every character has something to separate them from wider society, and often find solace and companionship in a deaf man, John Singer, who himself experiences a loneliness that they cannot understand. There are various forms of social isolation explored in this novel: by race, disability, age, gender, etc. A wonderful, heart-wrenching book about loneliness and the depths it can potentially drag people to.

The Waste Land - T.S. Eliot

~ A modernist masterpiece of a poem, Eliot describes feeling emptiness and isolation. The brilliance of it can only be shown by an excerpt:

“Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither Living nor dead, and I knew nothing, Looking into the heart of light, the silence.”

“The river’s tent is broken: the last fingers of leaf Clutch and sink into the wet bank. The wind Crosses the brown land, unheard. The nymphs are departed. Sweet Thames, run softly, till I end my song. The river bears no empty bottles, sandwich papers, Silk handkerchiefs, cardboard boxes, cigarette ends Or other testimony of summer nights. The nymphs are departed. And their friends, the loitering heirs of city directors; Departed, have left no addresses. By the waters of Leman I sat down and wept . . . Sweet Thames, run softly till I end my song, Sweet Thames, run softly, for I speak not loud or long. But at my back in a cold blast I hear The rattle of the bones, and chuckle spread from ear to ear. “

(My personal favorite line from this poem is, “I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”)

The Trial - Franz Kafka

~ The protagonist of the novel, Josef K., wakes up one morning to find that he has been placed under arrest for reasons that are kept from him. Kafka creates throughout the novel a scathing satire of bureaucracy, as K. tries to find out more about his case, more about his trial, but only becomes more confused as he digs deeper. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the world he lives in, and the more tries to explain it the further the more that proves to be the case. An excellently constructed novel and a great one to read if you would like to be depressed about the state of the world because, though Kafka’s work is a satire, like a lot of his other work, it manages to strike a strangely real note.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

~ An absurdist play that is a retelling of Shakespeare’s Hamlet from the perspective of minor characters, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, who in the broad overview of the original play, do not matter. Throughout the play, they question their existence and the purpose of it and through that Stoppard dissects not only the absurdity of life, but how fiction and theater reflect that absurdity inadvertently.

As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner

~ The novel details the journey the Bundren family makes after the death of the family matriarch, Addie, to bury her. Each chapter offers a different narrative from the family members and those who surround them, revealing some ulterior motives to them “going to town” to bury Addie. The patriarch Anse desires a pair of false teeth, and the daughter Dewey Dell is pregnant and needs an abortion, as there is no way for her or her family to support it. It’s about the powerlessness of people in the impoverished south. The Bundrens are constantly subject to forces beyond their control, struggles which would be easily solved if they had the money to spare for it. There is more to the book, but that is my favorite reading of it, that of class. Faulkner’s ability to create distinct voices for every one of his characters shines through here.

And, last but not least:

The Collected Poems - Sylvia Plath

~ All the poems Plath wrote during her tragically short lifetime. The best way to demonstrate or summarize the book’s brilliance is just to show you. This is her poem “Edge”, which appears in the book:

“The woman is perfected. Her dead Body wears the smile of accomplishment, The illusion of a Greek necessity Flows in the scrolls of her toga, Her bare Feet seem to be saying: We have come so far, it is over. Each dead child coiled, a white serpent, One at each little Pitcher of milk, now empty. She has folded Them back into her body as petals Of a rose close when the garden Stiffens and odors bleed From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower. The moon has nothing to be sad about, Staring from her hood of bone. She is used to this sort of thing. Her blacks crackle and drag.”

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! HAPPY READING TO ALL!

#dark academia #books and literature #toni morrison #james joyce #tennessee williams #virginia woolf #william faulkner #sylvia plath #plays #poetry #can you tell i like southern and modernist lit lol?

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trixree · 3 years

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Feminist, Queer, Playboy, Philanthropist: Why Ironman Belongs to the Shes, Gays, and Theys

Introduction:

This material originally comes from a media critique project I did for an undergrad philosophy course and I've attempted to adapt it into a tumblr post that doesn't make your eyes bleed. I may or may not have been successful. Upfront, I'm giving you a trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault/rape. If you'd like to skip that part of the analysis, mind the red content warning [start/end].

Trix, what are you up to today? Well, I’d like to present an alternative narrative interpretation of the capstone of the MCU. At face value, Tony Stark shows us a wise-cracking, suave, and hyper-masculine superhero. His soundtrack is AC/DC and he arrives on the battlefield in a shower of gold sparks and hydraulics, wearing sunglasses that cost more than my uterus would fetch on the black market. However, this character presents us with so much more than just a hyper-masculine caricature of straight, cis heroism. Not only does he embody typically “feminine” film tropes—such as the hypersexualized “fighting-fucktoy” role, the policing of his body and promiscuity, and the climactic “rape scene” in which his predatory father-figure drugs him and steals his “heart”—additionally, he embodies classically queer film tropes. Unlike most male action-movie protagonists, his story line is an identity crisis at heart, culminating in a climactic “coming out” scene. His character is promiscuous and spurned for it, and camp is a constant underlying theme in his character design as a whole. I explore these themes in two main parts: the femme and the queer. We'll start with the femme.

Hyper-Masculinity & Tony Stark

In order to understand the subversive nature of Tony Stark, we must first establish the typical nature of hyper-masculine and the hyper-feminine character tropes. Before we can ask the question, “how is this character coded as femme?'' We must first ask, “how is this character coded as masc?”. Further, what do these tropes tell the audience about those characters? Ultimately, the hypermasculine caricature lends power to the subject while the hyperfeminine caricature strips the subject of all agency.

Hypermasculinity is defined, generally, as the exaggerated portrayal or the reinforcement of “typically male stereotypes” (typical male meaning, in this context, that of a Westernized man) such as aggression, strength and power (both physcial and otherwise), as well as sex appeal, and integrity. Hypermasculinity takes a keen focus on the physical male form as a dominating force (1). A hypermasculine character, then, would be one that portrays a domineering, powerful man that is above his peers in some way, and is sexually desirable, in that he exemplifies a pornified picture of a male physique. This desirable and desiring caricature of manhood “socializes boys to believe that being a man means being powerful and in control” (2).

In contrast to this idea of hypermasculinity is the media’s typical portrayal of women. The typical hyperfeminine characterization of women in media is that of a passive, pretty, and overtly sexualized side-character with little agency or autonomy within the story. This is true of both blockbuster hits starring men and movies starring women, too. “We had many more interesting characters on screen in the '20s, '30s, '40s than we do now… They could be the femme fatale and then turn around and be the mother and then turn around and be the seductress, and then turn around and be the saint, and we accepted that. They were complex human beings” (2). This is no longer the case for a typical role for women on screen.

The documentary Miss Representation (2) presents a common caricature that a woman in Hollywood might find herself portraying. Action movies with a female lead surely must exhibit agency in their own story lines. However, the female-action-movie-lead is dubbed the “fighting fucktoy” by Miss Representation. Although she makes her own decisions and it is her narrative that drives the story, she primarily exists as eye-candy. Thus, even the “fighting fucktoy” is just that to audiences--a “fucktoy”. She may be “strong” but primarily, she must be pretty. The MCU character Black Widow perfectly exemplifies the “fighting fucktoy”. Her physical strength may be unquestioned, but primarily it is her beauty that is the focus on-screen. Never do we see her fighting in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Even outside of the skin-tight deep-vee catsuit, Black Widow’s plain clothes outfits consist of tight jeans and even tighter shirts.

This is true for both hyperfeminine and hypermasculine stories. Both the men and women starring in mainstream productions are expected to exemplify a western ideal of peak beauty standards at all times. However, where the hypersexualization of male’s bodies is associated with power, dominance, and strength, the sexualization of women’s bodies is linked to submission, frailty, and possession. Hence the name, “fighting fucktoy”. Her beauty does not make her powerful, it makes her a “toy”, an object, a possession. The sexualization of men in media gives them power within their narratives. For women, it does the complete opposite. It makes them objects, even when they are strong. Beauty and sex make them the victims of their own stories. Ultimately, the hypermasculine male character is envied and emulated, not coveted.

Ironman: Femme Fatale

The storyline of the first Iron Man movie is one concerned with bodily autonomy in a way typically reserved for women--Tony Stark is presented as a fighting fucktoy with an unattainable heart. Not only that, he must struggle against the literal policing of his body by friends, family, and government agencies alike. This subversive, unexpected feminine story culminates in the pinnacle “rape scene” wherein a trusted older-male drugs and assaults Tony in order to take advantage of his “body”, the arc-reactor.

Let’s examine Tony’s coded “fighting fucktoy” persona in two parts: the “fighting” and the “fucktoy”. Miss Representation identifies what female leadership often looks like in movies. “When it comes to female leaders in entertainment media, we see the bitchy boss who has sacrificed family and love to make it to where she is” (2). Odd as it may seem, this perfectly encapsulates the metaphorical role of the arc reactor powering the Iron Man suits. First and foremost, the reactor represents Tony Stark’s heart. Not only is it literally located within his heart for the purpose of keeping it intact, it represents his rebirth as a caring, philanthropic man--it encapsulates Stark’s “fight”. Before his kidnapping and the subsequent implanting of the reactor, Stark was every inch the “bitchy boss who has sacrificed family and love” as well as morals themselves in order to be a war profiteer. His “fight” consists of standing up against the same system that had allowed him to amass his fortune. This “fight” is inextricably tied to his “bitchy boss” caricature as someone who has had to surrender love.

It is clear to the viewer that Stark has had to sacrifice love to get where he is in life. Many allusions are given towards the “will they won't they” nature of his relationship with Pepper Potts and Stark’s work is identified as the reason why they won’t. At the end of the movie, Stark attempts to seduce Potts, asking if she ever “thinks about that night” to which she replies, “Are you talking about the night that we danced and went up on the roof, and then you went downstairs to get me a drink, and you left me there, by myself?” The viewers are aware that the reason Stark ran off was because he had received news that Stark weapons had gotten into the wrong hands. Later, Potts will gift him the original arc reactor with the engraving: PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART surrounding it. In an unconventional way, Stark portrays the frigid boss who sacrificed everything to get where she is in his titular fight against a war profiteering machine.

Next, let’s examine his role as the fucktoy. This is a more subtle theme throughout the film, present in body language and subtext. I will focus mainly on scenes which present a femme-coded sexualization--scenes where emphasis on Stark’s body does not lend Stark power, but instead strips him of his autonomy. Take for example the scene pictured below. In this scene, Stark bares his chest to Stane. He is quick to cover up and fruitlessly attempts to redirect Stane’s curiosity. Much like a scene where an attractive woman shows skin, the emphasis is placed on Stark redirecting Stane’s predatory interest. Notice the tension in Stark’s stance, the challenge in his eyes and the contrasting pose of Stane, mid-motion, pushing so close into Stark’s space. Stane is clearly coded as the aggressor once the reactor comes out. The same effect is observed as when a woman bares skin--an apparent loss of autonomy as other characters (and even the cinematography itself) takes a pornographic view of her body. Instead of a powerful male character baring his chest in the heat of a battle, giving the audience a glimpse of corded muscle and strength, this scene leaves the viewer feeling uncomfortable on Stark’s behalf.

[TW Start] This femme-coded sexualization that leads ultimately to a loss of autonomy again rears its head in the titular “rape scene”. This is the clearest instance of the reactor--a literal part of Stark’s body, symbolically present as his heart--lends itself to his victimization. Just as a hypersexualized female character with no bodily autonomy, Stark’s bodily autonomy is forcefully violated so that a powerful male figure in his life can exploit a part of him. This theme becomes horrifyingly clear when the scene is examined up close.

Notice the position of their bodies. Once again, Stane towers over Stark, pressing into his space on all sides. In the first image, to the right, he has an arm draped over the back of the couch--a parody of a romantic or perhaps affectionate gesture from one intimate partner to another. Stane visibly radiates power in this position, even if the viewer were unaware of Stark’s paralyzed state. Stane’s shoulders are squared, even sitting down. The position of the reactor in his hand is relaxed and undeniably taunting. Looking at Stark himself, the horror and powerlessness of his situation is clear. His eyes are open, but almost appear to be unseeing. He is not looking directly at the reactor nor at Stane. In fact, it seems as though his eyes are looking below the reactor and to the room at large. I can only describe his expression as hollow--the blank eyes fixed out to something the viewers cannot see, his mouth partially open, his skin sickly pale.

In the second image, pictured above, Stane leers over Stark’s body, cradling his head in, once again, a parody of a lover’s tenderness. He coaxes Stark’s now limp form down onto the couch, having just paralyzed him with a fictional, technological nerve agent. The horror is shockingly clear on Stark’s face and the perverse joy is just as clear on Stane’s. This scene itself is an undeniable parody of rape, or, at the very least, physical assault. [TW End]

Tony Stark presents us with a clear, femme-coded character as his story line draws upon classicly feminine tropes wherein the sexualization of the character’s body is exploitative at heart and leaves them vulnerable to physical predation. In this way, though he is strong, his “body” makes him the victim of his own story. Not only that, his character arc itself travels from the heart-less profiteer to the philanthropic man with a heart of gold, drawing upon another classically femme-caricature of the “bitchy boss”.

Queer Tropes & The Closet

Queer tropes are much harder to draw upon than that of feminine tropes. Queer tropes in film developed in a time of great censorship and as a result are often subtle. There are three main tropes I would like to reference for the purposes of this critique. Within the Iron Man franchise, there exists a distinct sense of camp, a problematized sexual promiscuity, and, ultimately, an identity-reveal/coming out storyline.

One of the most obvious of these tropes is camp. Camp is “defined as the purposeful and ironic adoption of stylistic elements that would otherwise be considered bad taste. Camp aesthetics are generally extreme, exaggerated and showy and always involve an element of mockery” (3). Camp is present in queer culture most commonly in the ball and drag scenes. Camp is the gaudy, the glitzy, the over-the-top, the classic-but-not, the in-your-face… Camp is all of the above and more. This is why it is so easily recognizable to audiences.

The Advocate identifies a series of seventeen queer caricatures in media for consideration, one of them being that of the “promiscuous queer”. Everyone knows the myth of the promiscuous bisexual, even when the reality is that bisexual individuals are no more or no less likely to view monogamy as “sacrificial” than gay or straight individuals (4). The stereotype of the promiscuous bisexual is inaccurate and harmful, and they are by no meals alone in being labeled overly promiscuous by a general audience. The “promiscuous queer” is defined as a character that may struggle with emotional intimacy and, as a result, sleeps around to mask the love they are missing in their life. “Films going back as far as the ’80s British period piece Another Country have featured gay male characters who use sex to cover for their inability to feel true intimacy with another human being” (5). Among their list of guilty perpetrators are Queer as Folk, The L Word, The Good Wife, and How to Get Away With Murder.

The last trope I’d like to present is that of the “coming out” story. Far from being problematic, the “coming out” is often necessary when telling a queer story. Coming out storylines can be problematized when they are presented as “Big Dark Secrets” that weigh heavily on a person until they are spoken. Ultimately, coming out is a choice. Many queer people choose to come out while many do not. There are many people who fall in between--some people may be comfortable being out to select individuals while not to others or to the world at large. In any case, people can be satisfied and fully fulfilled in any of those choices. Coming out stories are undeniably part of queer culture in media. Consider the recent hit, Love Simon alongside Transparent, Empire, Supergirl, and Glee.

Camp, Secrets & Sex

Through the camp of the Iron Man persona, the problematized sexuality of Stark, and the underlying theme of a “coming out” journey, Tony Stark presents audiences with a classically queer experience in film. Take the Iron Man suit itself. The iconic red and gold, the whine of the repulsors, the sleek metal edges and the furious glow of the arc reactor all scream camp. The red and the gold, the opening bars of Back In Black, the facial hair cut into odd spikes, and the sunglasses do, too. Each and every part of the Iron Man persona is camp. “Stylistic elements that otherwise would be bad taste”... talk about gold-plated biceps and a bright red, glowing chest piece! It's camp, baby!

The problematized sexuality of Stark is harder to see as reminiscent of a queer trope. Take, for example, one of the first scenes in the movie. “I do anything and everything that Mr. Stark requires, including, occasionally, taking out the trash”, Potts remarks in reference to a one-night stand she’s ushering out of Stark’s home. Here, Potts implies that Stark sleeps with “trash”. The following scene gives us the feeling that this is not a one-off occurrence. As Potts enters the room, Stark asks, “how’d she take it?” References to his repeated promiscuity are obvious. “Playboy” is an integral part of his persona. Equally obvious is Potts’ disapproval. Taking these inferences of his playboy lifestyle with what viewers know of Stark’s lack of attachments--his “bitchy boss” exterior, if you may--it appears as though his promiscuity is a symptom of the promiscuous queer stereotype.

“Don’t ever ask me to do anything like that ever again,” Potts says after removing the initial arc reactor model from Stark’s chest cavity. “I don’t have anyone but you,” Stark replies. The viewer has a clear picture of Stark as a playboy type who is truly lonely on the inside--who struggles with emotional intimacy. This struggle is evident, given that Potts, Stark’s secretary and co-worker, is the only person in his life he trusts to assist him in what is essentially open heart surgery. His playboy lifestyle mirrors the circumstances of the promiscuous queer trope in media.

Finally, we come to the last scene of the movie-- the climactic reveal. “I am Iron Man”, Stark says. This scene most clearly illustrates a queer story-line. Stark reveals his “identity”, shedding his last secret, and declares to reporters (and effectively the world) that he is Iron Man. To understand how this scene evokes such a strong sense of queer experience in viewers, I’d like to reference another recent in-universe identity reveal in the Marvel Cinematic canon. In Spiderman: Far From Home, the end-credit scene shows Peter Parker reacting in horror to his identity being leaked via doctored footage from the villain Mysterio. This scene can read as nothing but a deep violation. Even the main characters themselves react in abject horror at the news. The Spiderman identity reveal and the Iron Man identity reveal are two sides of the same coming-out process. In one, the character had full agency. In the other, the reveal was non-consensual, a complete violation. It is clear that both of these scenes draw explicitly upon themes that resonate particularly with queer audiences.

To Infinity(War) and Beyond

Growing up, I latched onto Iron Man and Tony Stark as an outlet for my “otherness”. I was well and truly obsessed with the character for reasons that I could not really put into words. He was weird, he was loud, and he was, frankly, unapologetic about any of it. I remember very clearly on my first day of tenth grade listening to Thunderstruck by AC/DC in the car and putting on the brightest shade of red lipstick I could find. Tony Stark gave me confidence. He gave me a voice. Throughout high-school I must have watched the first Iron Man movie upwards of twenty, maybe even thirty times. It was a comfort to me because it showed experiences I resonated with and it showed a strong character recovering from them. Tony Stark rose from the ashes every time and gave me the strength to rise from my own ashes every time he did.

Our heroes can be anything. And Tony Stark was mine.

#thechestnuthead #here you go #yall asked for it #long post #really fucking long post #meta #trixree speaks #ironman #tony stark #marvel meta #analysis #this took a long time rip #if yall want the full paper you can hit me up for a PDF #my posts #trixree gets meta

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iam93percentstardust · 4 years

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hey! i hope you’re having an amazing day. this is just me popping in your inbox to say that’s youre one of my favourite writers and you got me really interested in winteriron (honestly one of the cutest ships) are there any fics/authors ii could reccomend?

Hi there! Thank you so much! I love this ship so much, they’ve got such potential for both fluff and angst. They really are one of my favorite ships to write and I’m glad I was able to write so much for them this year. I certainly do have plenty of recs for you, starting with my favorite authors:

@riotwritesthings: started writing last year, I highly recommend just about everything Riot writes but especially Road Hazards, Melt into Me (Your Words are My Own), and When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it)

@hddnone: so many stories and all so good! Has nearly 100 Winteriron works on ao3 and you will not regret reading any of them, though fair warning that some of them are Team Cap Critical. Especially recommend Honey Pot, You’ve Got Mail, and A Bit(e) of Danger

@monobuu: mostly an artist but sometimes writes stories as well. i recommend Ravioli, Invincible Summer, and Meet the Fam

@tisfan and @27dragons: can’t make a Winteriron rec list without including the both of them. They work together a lot but you should definitely take a look at their own stuff as well. I recommend Safe and (the) Sound, Kiss Me Thru the Phone, and Stark, Naked

@ad1thi: currently taking a bit of a hiatus and working on non-Marvel works but I love everything Adi writes, particularly her entire Bollywood but Make it Gay series, which isn’t always Winteriron but wonderful nonetheless. I recommend the Greek Gods AU, 1000 Lives (For You), and we’re connected

@the-winter-writer: lots of smut and all absolutely fantastic! I like Precious Treasure, Winter Wings, and Instinct

@rayshippouuchiha: definitely an iconic writer for this fandom. Really great if you’re looking for genderbends. Writes a lot of absolutely incredible fics and not just for Winteriron but my personal favorites are The (Not So) Great Pretender, Fearful Symmetry, and The Mistletoe Kiss Polka

Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar): once again very iconic. you’ve probably read at least one of their works even if didn’t know. I recommend Shameless, Today’s Forecast, and Practice Makes Perfect

@lovelyirony: mostly writes ficlets here on tumblr and a multishipper (I don’t know why I’m saying that like it’s a bad thing, I’m a multishipper), also a fan of Sharon Carter and that’s the thing that made me follow her so you know

@amethystinawrites: I only recently started working their works but I’m loving everything I’ve come across so far. I recommend Tech Support and I Won’t Hold My Breath

AvocadoLove: also writes a lot of Stony and Stuckony, which I love a lot, but for their Winteriron works, I recommend Amalgam and Dead Man’s Switch

Dracusfyre: another one I’m new to. I literally just started reading their works today so I don’t have any recs for them yet but one of my friends loves them so I’m going to go with you should definitely take a look at their works

Eirlyssa: has some anti-Team Cap works so keep an eye out for that if that’s not your thing but writes very good Winteriron. I recommend Guide Me Home (Guide My Heart) and Always (I’ll Be There)

@imposter-human: one of the first MCU blogs I ever followed! I recommend childhood memories, speak my language, and lost in translation

As for specific works I like:

Four Strings and Second Chances by Vashoth

It was reluctance to let one of his finest inventions ever out of his grasp that made him take a couple days over a week to send the arm to Pepper’s office. But all things considered, Tony figured that sending finest prosthetic that had ever come into existence--literally grasping an olive branch--was one of the classiest gifts he’d ever given. He’d included a note and everything. ‘Barnes,

Can help with installation. Or not. Up to you. --Stark'

Who is the Mechanic? by @akira-of-the-twilight

The Asset watched as his handlers brought in a stranger—a man with a metal object stuck to his chest that was hooked to a car battery.

The handlers shoved the man onto the stool where many who had operated on the Asset’s arm in the past had sat before.

“Asset,” one handler said, “meet the Mechanic. He will be responsible for the upkeep of your arm. Should anything malfunction, kill him.”

The Asset eyed the Mechanic. The Mechanic was glassy-eyed and unresponsive.

He’d probably be dead in a week.

The Fix by SleepsWithCoyotes

Right, because Tony...Tony fixes things. He remembers thinking that, not for the first time.

Paths are Made by Walking by @potrix-the-queerschlaeger

The road to recovery is long, winding and a different one for every person walking it. Bucky chooses to help himself the only way he knows how; by doing what he does best.

Or, alternatively; the one in which Tony is a mess and accidentally kick-starts Bucky’s protective mother hen instincts.

The Evidence by StrivingArtist

Didn’t notice. Right. Sure. Two brilliant minds, two super spies, and a god didn’t notice when the chattiest man they knew stopped making sound. They just seemed happier than before. Brighter and more cheerful than before. They just seemed like they were more comfortable with him around when he was stone silent.

Fuck it.

He knew they noticed.

And he knew they liked him better this way.

Shadowed Hearts and Winter Souls by NotEvenCloseToStraight

The mid-1800s and Antonio Carbonell Stark is caught in a scandal with his lover. Desperate for a chance to escape the trouble and his own broken heart, Tony accepts a proposal from a mysterious Russian heiress and flees the country.

Natalia Romanova is in trouble of her own and has enough secrets to make Tony's head spin but somehow they settle into a fake marriage and calm day-to-day together, and everything works... until her half brother comes home and their life is disrupted again.

James is somber and silent, brutal and nearly broken and scarred, a soldier of the resistance. His heart is cold and gaze like ice, but his hands are hot and lips are warm and Tony finds himself ignoring the blood on James's palms and the shadows in his soldier’s eyes, and falling in love.

When danger lands at their doorstep, Natalia and Tony have to pack up and leave, running away in the middle of the night and leaving their men behind.

The distance between Tony and James gets longer every day, and Natalia has been keeping a secret for that can’t be hidden much longer. With no place to call home and a thousand miles between them and the men they love, what are Tony and Natalia supposed to do?

Puppy Love by Reioka

Bucky is learning to become a person again. When some guy starts crying all over Natasha's dog, he decides he's doing better than he originally thought.

Describe Your Perfect Date by ali_aliska

After getting turned down by Bucky, Tony decides it’s time to move on from his massive crush. He tries online dating—Pepper’s idea, not his—but the only thing worse than getting rejected is getting rejected and finding out your soulmate-level match is Clint Barton, all in the same day.

Clint, of course, does not let opportunities like this go to waste, but he’s driving Tony nuts for a good cause, he swears.

Bucky’s just trying to do the right thing and fails spectacularly, but it all works out in the end.

Rocket Science by marsmaywonder and orbingarrow

Sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated, grad student Tony falls asleep in a conveniently empty classroom and wakes up in the middle of Bruce’s Physics 101 course. After seeing a groggy Tony fumble a simple question, actual-student Bucky offers to tutor him. In a moment of “oh no; he’s cute” panic, Tony takes him up on it. Now, in addition to his already complicated life, Tony has to figure out the answer to the incredibly messy question: “How do you look like you’re failing the class, when you literally wrote the book?”

What’s Good for the Goose by Taste_is_Sweet

For this nonny prompt at the Imagine Tony and Bucky comm on Tumblr:

"A soulmate AU where an immortal goose shows up one day to lead you to your soulmate, the challenge is surviving the goose." (Full prompt in notes.)

We all have soulmates, and every soulmate pair shares an animal guide. The Guide is there to lead you to your One True Love, and they represent the aspects of the psyche that you both share. They appear when you're about to meet your soulmate, and often materialize in moments of great personal crisis, offering hope and support. There are stories upon stories about how someone's Guide appeared to lead them to their One True, or how the barest glimpse of their Guide eased their hearts and gave them hope in the midst of despair. The newly-rescued almost always attribute their Guide with giving them the strength and courage to hang on.

Animal Guides are ephemeral, ethereal, and elusive. They are, most often, no more than a warm presence or flicker out of the corner of one's eye. They are incarnate symbols of perseverance, optimism and hope. Foretellers of happiness, and the grand destiny of love.

Except for geese. Geese are assholes.

and so, we unfold by TheKitteh

Senbazuru. Thousand Cranes.

An ancient Japanese legend that promises anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by the gods. Some stories believe you are granted happiness and eternal good luck, instead of just one wish, such as long life or recovery from illness or injury.

Bucky’s not big on believing in any legends, not after all that has happened. He just wants to create something for a change, not destroy.

He needs to prove himself that he can be trusted to handle something delicate. He doesn’t need a promise of a wish come true. He just,- needs to do this for himself.

He doesn’t need noticing how sad, tired Stark looks. Doesn’t need to want to do something for the man, when he can barely do anything for himself. --- Tony simply goes through days and motions. He deals with the Avengers, with R&;D, with the rewritten Accords. All of it, it’s nothing new really. He just wants to get things done.

What’s new is seeing Barnes hunched over the coffee table, one step away from ripping a glossy magazine apart in the middle of the night.

And why the hell Barnes keeps looking at him during the days after like he’s a puzzle to be solved?

Welcome to the Winteriron fandom! We’ve got a lot of incredible authors and artists both and this is just the tip of the iceberg!

#alle answers #winteriron #fic recs #have a great day as well!#hold-our-destiny

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starkerintheparker · 4 years

Text

starker reclist - PWP

What better way to celebrate RDJ’s bday than spreading some pwp love, amirite :D I decided to just share these without the usual commentary because there are only so many ways to praise hot smut and I’m not that well versed in English lol. Some fics are plottier, some are porn with feels, others are unapologetic filth. Suffice to say they are all sublime and top notch wanking material, 10/10 recommend. Please mind the tags and stay safe. Happy meals! 😈

Last updated: April 25th, 2020. All new additions will be marked with ***

• a little bit scandalous by @paspleurer (3k, completed)

Summary: “What do you think about dessert? I’m thinking the creme brulee, but—”

“You could eat my ass,” says Peter. "After you've already come inside of it."

Tony sets the menu down on the table with jarring force.

• A Special Love by @darker-soft-starker (completed)

Summary: “You know - the thing where I tell you that I’m too old to be kissed on the lips,” Peter answers, reaching out linking their hands together over the gearstick. "Where I tell you none of the other fathers kiss their sons like we do and isn’t it weird?”

Author’s warning: Incest roleplay (no actual incest), semi-public sex, exhibitionism, public foreplay, armour kink, slight incidental daddy kink, nff.

• Babysitter (AU) by @readysetstarker (5.4k, completed)

Summary: Tony was desperate. Ten minutes before he was supposed to leave for work, brushing his daughter’s hair in the bathroom and promising her a fun day at the zoo with her babysitter (he had already paid for the tickets online, the receipt for them sitting on the counter), he had gotten the call that she wouldn’t be showing up. He needed to be at work to negotiate a deal with investors, they needed him there, but she had been adamant about not showing up and hung up on him mid-plea.

• Ballerina!Peter and Construction worker!Tony (AU) by @starkerforlife6969 (completed) Part 2 is winterironspider

Author’s warnings: mild dub con (super mild, Peter turns out to be a mega-slut and we love it), innocent peter, feminisation, multiple orgasms, rimming, mild cock warming, mild cock-slapping.

• Berries and Cream by @stfustucky (5k, completed)

Summary: There's no way in hell they're going to fit all the Avengers into two cars, not unless Peter sits on Tony's lap. And there's no way in hell Tony is going to survive the ride all the way back to the tower unless Peter stops squirming like that. Unfortunately for Tony, Peter doesn't seem inclined to sit very still tonight. Whoops.

• Breaking Character (AU) by @cagestark (8k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and spy for SHIELD. Working with another SHIELD spy, the infamous Spider, he will take down an infamous human trafficking ring in New York. But the act they have to put on will demand more from Tony than he ever thought he'd have to give. Not that he minds.

• Bruisable and Sweet by @bloomblood (completed)

Summary: Tony has a meal in Peter’s humble, college dormitory bed.

• Captured (AU) by @areluctantsblog (1k, completed)

Summary: In another a universe, reluctant as he may be, Peter Parker has to find out that being Spider-Man inevitably means being a celebrity, too. As far as he’s concerned, the only good thing resulting from this is that from time to time he gets the chance to lay eyes on the fashion industry’s most handsome face, that of photographer Tony Stark’s. When one day Peter is sent on a photo-shoot with the living legend, things take an interesting turn.

• Coming Untouched by @starker-stories (4k, completed)

Summary:

“So, is it true?”

“Which thing? I presume you stood there, outside the door, eavesdropping on our entire conversation,” Peter said, miffed.

“That you can make yourself come without touching yourself even once during your… session?”’

• Context Clues (A/B/O) by Anonymous (8k, completed)

Summary: Peter is crying. Those had been FRIDAY's exact words, and the reason Tony had run upstairs and bypassed the privacy lock on the kid's door. Context is kind of everything.

• Desperado (AU) by @starkercrossedlovers (completed)

Summary: Desperado Tony come to town and takes Peter with him when he goes.

• Drabbles by @starkerforlife6969 (290k, ongoing)

Summary: These are all starkerforlife6969’s tumblr drabbles/stories in one collection, aside from the Mafia Boss One. Mostly starker, but there will be winterspider and spidershield and spiderstrange.

• Eight Stops (to make you mine) (A/B/O) by @starkerkeyz and @the-mad-starker (9k, completed)

Summary: He clutches onto the alpha's forearm and gives Tony another nip, harsher with his spiked up desires. "Eight stops," he tells the alpha, "that's all the time we got. Think that's enough…?" They can only have a quickie but Peter thinks it just might be the best sex he's ever going to get. He gives the alpha's cock another squeeze, trying to convince him to say yes. "Plenty." Tony unbuckles Peter's pants one handed, smirking against pale skin. He rubs his stubble into the omega's lightly bitten scent gland just to rile him up.

• From Across the Bar by @readysetstarker (3k, completed)

Summary: Tony took a slow sip and listened to a pair of new broadcasters talk about upcoming sports games and a player’s most recent scandal about steroid use. He couldn’t have cared less, personally, but there was nothing else on and he wasn’t really here to watch television. Not if the cute brunette trying to scope him out without being noticed had anything to say about it.

• From Thy Bounty by @ibby-writes and feyrelay (30k, completed)

Summary: Tony’s eyes are always dark, but now there's almost no iris left. He looks hollowed out. There’s something terribly hungry there, despite the feast they've filled themselves on.

• Further Assistance by @learned-foot (4k, completed)

Summary: Besides, it would be unethical not to tell Peter what he saw, right? He’s pretty sure that would violate some sort of boundary. And if the kid wants to go down the path of creative experimentation, it’s kind of Tony’s duty to make sure he does it safely. He basically has to help.

• half doomed and you’re semi sweet by noctiphany (2k, completed) underage

Summary: “Peter,” Tony says, his tone flat, and Peter shudders. “Peter,” Tony says again, impatient and with a hint of threat. “I’m waiting.

• Heal Me by Mezzymet (7k, completed)

Summary: His love for the man probably bordered on hero worship but....you could love someone and not be in love with them. Obviously.

• I could be your whore, Mr. Stark by @stfustucky (10k, completed)

Summary: Peter needs a cover story for his shady behavior as Spidey, and half the school thinks he's an escort anyways, so Peter just leans into the rumors. Tony, being the good friend and teammate that he is, agrees to corroborate the cover story by letting everyone think Peter is his own personal slut.

• Indulge Me by @learned-foot (370 words, completed)

Summary: Peter likes it best when Mr. Stark is rough and taking. Read it together with Under Someone Else.

• Jealousy is Ugly (Except When It's Not) by @yadds (4k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a boyfriend. Tony can't stand it.

• Kinktober 2019 by @readysetstarker (38k, completed)

The whole list is amazing, my personal favorites are the glorious upskirt/semi public sex (ch 6). the breathtaking mirror sex (ch 7) and the sweet praise kink (ch 9).

• Just a little bit, just enough by @bitter-lemon-water (25k, completed)

Summary: So somewhere in between devastation, uncertainty, fear and disconcertment—Peter settles. Alternatively: Tony pulls. (Peter lets him.) (Peter wants him to.)

• Just Listen to Me by LeafyGreenQueen773 (3k, completed)

Summary: After the spider bite, Peter's senses are “dialed to eleven”. That includes in bed. Peter talks Tony through what feels best to him.

• Later for later by @unsettledink (15k, completed) sex pollen, top!Peter

Summary: “You,” Peter says, again, mouthing at Tony's skin. “I want you. I trust you. This is a terrible, terrible idea, Tony knows. The worst. And yeah he's normally all for terrible ideas, but this is… no. (The one where Peter gets hit with a sex drug, and Tony is not prepared for this shit.)

• Me, You & A Tattoo by @starkeristheendgame (4k, completed)

Summary: Peter gets Tony's name tattooed on his ass after a not-bet with MJ. Really, it was just a matter of time before Tony found out.

• Morning (A/B/O) by @starkerstarkerstarker (completed)

Summary: Peter’s breath hitches, eyes on him like he expected him to do more, but when he doesn’t, when all he does is lift a brow, he frowns, his bottom lip pushing out. “If you want something, princess, go ahead.”

• No Control by @paspleurer (500 words, completed)

Summary: Mr. Stark’s conditions are simple— no touching himself, and no talking. And Peter wants to be good, he really does— but his senses make it so hard.

• Paint my Body Gold by @spidey-stuff (14 k, completed)

Summary: Tony is desperate to rid himself of his inappropriate attraction before the last barrier holding him back crumbles as Peter's 18th birthday rapidly approaches.

• Perfect by @learned-foot (639 words, completed)

Summary: There are a lot of things that should make Peter embarrassed right now, starting with the fact that the first time Mr. Stark kissed him—about half an hour ago, though it feels like another world—he came in his pants within seconds.

• Peter in Heat (A/B/O) by @starkerforlife6969 (completed)

Summary: Peter’s presenting and Tony knows exactly how to take care of him.

• Red Light District series (AU) by @starker-stories (17k, ongoing)

Summary: Everyone knows that Tony Stark is a playboy who has dozens of women passing through his life and through his bed. What everyone doesn't know is that Tony Stark is deeply closeted, longing for something he can't ever have -- a life and a love with another man.

• Reversal by @learned-foot (4k, completed)

Summary: Sometimes, Tony is the one who needs to be praised.

• Still Use Work by @learned-foot (6.5k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a problem. Tony attempts to solve it. To be helpful, obviously. That’s the only reason.

• Sweet for me, my Honeybee by garbagesinboy (10k, completed)

Summary: Peter's got a sweet tooth, and Tony's got a problem. In which Peter Parker consumes way more sugar than the average human ever should, and Tony Stark suffers many many boners.

• Tremolo by @lilsoshie and @marvlouse (4k, completed)

Summary: “You’re gonna ride me,” Tony decides, easing his fingers free and cherishing the unhappy whine the move inspires. “Up, come on.”

“Tony,” Peter says, a complaint, an exhausted plea.

• The Third Idea by @cagestark (12k, completed)

Summary: Tony walks in on Peter jerking off twice in one week, and realizes that his lover needs a little more from him. So he gives him less; a week without cumming should do it.

• This fire is out of control by feyrelay (2k, completed) sex pollen

Summary: There's really not enough room in their hiding spot to fuck, but Peter's temperature is rising from whatever they've been given, and Tony-Well, Tony's determined.

• Once Upon a Time, there was a Sloshed Bunny and a Guilty Man by @starkerchemistry (completed)

Summary: drunk!Peter dirty talks Tony on the phone.

• Up to Eleven by TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsG (15k, completed)

Summary: He watches those five minutes. Watches them again, and again. Tries to tell himself that he’s seeing something other than what FRIDAY is showing him.

• wasn’t built in a day by orphan_account (7k, completed) dubcon

Summary: Peter files “massive hard-on for Tony Stark” under “things I can’t tell Aunt May.” It’s tied at the top of the list with “I’m Spider-Man” and “I’m responsible for Uncle Ben’s death.”

• Weird by tuesday (2k, completed)

Summary: It wasn't weird, okay? A lot of people wanted to have sex with the Iron Man armor. A lot. There were entire forums and Instagram and Twitter accounts dedicated to it. There had been internet wars fought solely over which Mark was the sexiest. There was endless speculation over whether Tony Stark was among their number and whether and how he actually had outfitted one of the armors with the ability to make good on all that sleek, sexy promise.

It wasn't weird.

"It's a little weird," Tony said.

• what’s the point of a clear raincoat with no hood? by CarnivalGoldfish (7k, completed)

Summary: Tony buys Peter clothes because he likes Peter wearing what he bought him. Peter realizes this is not normal.

*** when the world has dealt its cards by thisismydesignn (3k, completed) underage

Summary: Tony Stark has never claimed to be a role model, let alone a good influence. Case in point...

• You Learn Something New Every Day by @sbiderslut (4k, completed)

Summary: This man looks right at them and remarks, happily unaware of the kiloliter can of worms he just RPG-ed wide open, “The bond between you and Mr. Parker is truly remarkable, Tony. You could practically be father and son.”

• Your Eyes Only by tuesday (4k, completed)

Summary: It was an accident. Tony did not, as a rule, check up on Peter these days, and while he had kept the monitoring programs, they were there in case of emergency.

#starker #reclist #peter parker x tony stark

212 notes · View notes

loveisnotadagger · 3 years

Text

Love Is Healing - Chapter Two

I forgot to put this in the first chapter, but originally this was supposed to just be a response to a prompt on an imagines site on Tumblr, but then it sort of veered away from it, so it no longer is what it was. :)

Also: I don't own Loki or any of the characters you recognize from the Marvel franchise. I'm just writing for fun.

Author's note/warning: there are brief mentions of torture in this chapter (dealing with Loki's time with Thanos.)

---

Loki being distracted by Thor's presence now, Arianna was able to sneak onto the balcony to try and get to the Tesseract. She needed to find out how to deactivate the thing, as it was what was allowing the Chitauri to come through from their world and into hers.

Down below the city was being destroyed by Loki's army. There were creatures on robot-looking things and there was also a demonic worm that seemed to be made of metal. What even was that?

She wasn't sure any of the Avengers could actually fight these things and win. She heard and saw the explosions taking place on the streets below and knew if she was going to save anything, that she had to do it now.

Thor and Loki were fighting on the balcony, but neither of them was paying attention to her. She was able to get past them fairly easily. Thor had slammed Loki against one of the windows. He wouldn't let Loki go without a fight. He actually seemed to be talking the other, crazier, Asgardian down – something Tony had tried and failed at doing.

Maybe Thor being his brother and all would mean something to Loki. Maybe Thor could make Loki see that all this destruction wouldn't end in his rule.

Arianna now stood a few feet from the Tesseract. She was so close, yet she couldn't touch it. There was a forcefield around the blue cube and unless she could get through that she couldn't get to the Tesseract to close whatever portal it had created to bring Loki's army to Earth.

Arianna placed her hand against the forcefield and was relieved when it didn't hurt her. This type of magic – or whatever one called it – wasn't defensive.

She closed her eyes and visualized a large blue dome surrounding the Tesseract and then she felt the familiar tingle in her fingertips that came from channeling her ability through her hands. If anyone were watching, they would see a bright golden glow coming from her hands. That was how her ability manifested.

She was now imagining a hole forming in the forcefield protecting the Tesseract. She didn't need a big opening, just something wide enough for her to squeeze through.

She'd almost made it when her wrist was grabbed.

"Now, tell me . . . How does a Midgardian such as yourself know how to do that?"

Images flashed through her mind – just another part of her ability. Her mind, her energy, was merging with the one who had grabbed her.

'You don't know pain . . . if you fail, you will wish for something as sweet as pain.'

She was seeing through someone else's eyes and what she saw was a barren wasteland. She had hurt herself somehow. Her back was killing her. There were chains and whips. Sometimes she was suspended in mid-air. Sometimes she was tied down. Sometimes she was chained to a rock, facedown. There were lashes and beatings and fire.

There was Thanos . . . someone named Thanos.

Pain ripped through her as lashes from a whip connected with her back. There were brief but welcome pieces of oblivion that she was sure were bouts of unconsciousness. Then came fire – everywhere. It seemed to race through her veins.

Had she died and gone to hell?

The vision ended when the physical contact ended, when her wrist was no longer being held.

She turned to the person who'd been touching her and saw Loki – a much different Loki than she'd seen earlier. He was looking at her with wide, almost vulnerable eyes. She'd been seeing Loki's memories, and what horrible memories they were.

"What happened to you?" she whispered, not really caring that she was talking to the man who had so terrified her.

She wished she hadn't spoken, though, when his eyes hardened again. She almost couldn't blame him. She had seen into his mind and had gone through what were probably his deepest and darkest memories.

This man had been tortured for only God knew how long. No wonder he was insane. ----------

As Loki stared at the Midgardian girl, he wondered exactly what she was. Midgardians didn't know magic, not like this.

She had been able to pry into his mind. He could do that when he concentrated hard enough. The ones who had tortured him had been able to do that as well, but they hadn't seen so much as they had torn into his mind. They had torn and manipulated and replaced his jealousy and bitterness with all out resentment and rage.

This human girl had shaken his resolve for a moment, but he was himself again now and he couldn't allow her to get her hands on the Tesseract.

He looked back to where he had been fighting Thor just moments before. Loki had stabbed him, not to kill him but to get away from him. Thor was nowhere to be found now. He was probably on the streets, helping the other so-called heroes.

A surge of energy pulsed from the Tesseract, a signal meant to release more soldiers, more Chitauri.

The girl in front of him gasped and looked up. Loki glanced up as well and almost choked on his own breath. There were thousands of the Chitauri in the sky. Midgard had no chance of winning.

The girl looked at him then, anger in her eyes, and turned from him. She stepped through the hole she'd made in the forcefield and headed straight for the Tesseract.

Loki was almost tempted to let her try her hand at stopping all of this because he was fairly certain she didn't know how. It might even destroy her if she touched it, what with all the energy emanating from him. However, she was clearly gifted in what Midgardians considered magic, so she might just figure it out, might survive touching it.

Maybe he should just shove her off the balcony. It would solve this whole problem. Or he could just put her under his control. Where was his staff? He could definitely use someone like her on his side. ---------- Arianna finally reached the Tesseract, got her hands on it. The only reason she'd reached it was because Loki was trying to figure out what exactly to do with her.

Loki had been right when he'd asked about her magic because in a way what she could do was magic. She could manipulate energy to a certain extent. All things were made of energy, and manipulating that was what made it possible for her to heal people.

Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed. At first Arianna thought she was causing it, that the Tesseract was responding to her trying to shut it down, but then she remembered she had Thor on her side.

She looked up and saw several of the Chitauri fall from their place in the sky, dead. Thor had that part covered, at least.

Loki grabbed her again, and again she was pulled into his memories, his thoughts.

Loki was worried. If he failed to take over Midgard for Thanos, there would be more pain in store for him. No . . . If Thanos didn't get the Tesseract, Loki didn't even want to know what would happen.

"Let go!" Arianna screamed at Loki.

He didn't listen. He actually yanked her away from the Tesseract and pulled her out of the forcefield, which caused a slight shock to go through her.

"Let me go!"

"Really?" he asked and held her slightly over the edge of the balcony as if he were going to drop her.

"No! No, no, no!"

She grabbed onto his leather-clad arms and silently promised herself that if she went over, he would too. The fall might not kill him, but it would slow him down a bit.

She was able to see all the destruction below and she could feel from Loki that he hadn't wanted 'this' exactly. He'd needed the Chitauri more as back up in case the humans rebelled. He hadn't wanted what was to be his world destroyed.

"Help stop this, Loki," she said, knowing those four words could very well be enough for him to actually let her topple over the edge.

Instead, it made him jerk her forward.

"How dare you use my name! You need to remember your place. I am a god, you pathetic girl."

He shoved her away from him but not over the edge of the balcony. Her knees hit the cement and she caught herself, scratching the palm of her hands as she landed.

The relief of not being thrown off the balcony was short-lived, however, because the problem still remained: she was stuck there with a raving lunatic.

What she didn't know was that Natasha and Bruce had been fighting their way to Stark Tower. Natasha got there first, but Bruce was close behind and he had his game face on; he was the Hulk now, which could have been a whole other problem, but Bruce seemed to have control of the green beast that sometimes came forward. He at least seemed to know who the bad guy was.

Natasha helped Arianna off her knees and the Hulk shoved Loki through one of the windows of the penthouse. At least Loki wasn't near her anymore.

"The Tesseract," Natasha exclaimed. "Can you shut it down?"

"I think so. Keep Loki away from me."

"I think Bruce has the covered."

It was easy getting to the Tesseract since a hole was already in the forcefield. Her hand trembled as she touched the cube and instincts took over.

Energy meshed with energy and, as Arianna had thought before, it was good for her. The things she could do with that much energy, all the people she could help . . .

But no . . . she wasn't there to take in the Tesseract's energy. She was there to stop it. She just needed to find the off switch.

She focused all her energy on the complexity that was the cube's raw power, but there seemed to be no hole for her mind the slip into, none that was for stopping the portal in the sky.

She did find out that there was a key, though, and she needed it right away.

"Tash, look for Loki's staff. That's the key to cutting this thing off."

She broke her connection with the cube and stepped out of the forcefield. Someone grabbed her wrist and, looking down, she saw the science guy who had helped set up the Tesseract in the first place. She was pretty sure his name was Dr. Selvig. He had a small cut on his head, and he didn't seem to want to hurt her, so she lifted her free hand and lightly touched his head with her fingertips. The cut closed up before her eyes.

"The staff can change you. Be careful."

She nodded once and he let go. ---------- Natasha ended up being the one to actually shut down the Tesseract. She'd found out that a nuke had been released to take out the enemy – SHIELD's decision – and that Tony had basically flown himself into the portal to make sure the bomb didn't go off in the streets of Manhattan. Arianna refused to close the portal without Tony coming back out first, so when Steve had called for them to close it Natasha had been the one to do it.

Thankfully, Tony actually made it back out. Everyone was now in what had been Tony Stark's penthouse. Now it was just a mess of a room, the whole place having been torn apart.

Bruce had long since changed back to his normal form. Clint had his bow and arrow fixed on Loki, though Arianna had no clue what an arrow would do to Loki. Would it even penetrate his skin? Thor was there with his hammer. Steve was there glaring. Tony was hurt but still standing. Natasha had Loki's staff held tightly in her hands.

Arianna didn't like the staff. More precisely, she didn't like the blue stone at the end of it. The stone made her feel weird, made her feel anxious. It made her feel like everything she was afraid of was hovering in the shadows to get her.

"Can we get rid of that thing? It's freaking me out."

"Second that," Clint said.

"We'll put it away until SHIELD gets here," Tony said.

"And what about the Tesseract?" Steve asked.

"I will take it to Asgard when Loki and I return," Thor said.

Loki couldn't speak or do much of anything, really, because Thor had put handcuffs on him and had put some form of muzzle on him.

"Before we get moving, may I heal you guys?"

"Tony's the worst. I think his ribs are bruised," Natasha said.

Tony was still in his suit, so that had to come off, but then she was able to heal him just fine. Well . . . after he got over the fact that she had to touch him to heal him, he was fine. She did feel some residual fear coming off of him, but considering what he'd been through she considered that to be normal.

The rest of them had bruises also, but Tony's had been the worst. Steve healed fast, as did Bruce, and Natasha and Clint hadn't taken any severe blows. Thor seemed to be completely fine.

She would save her energy for the civilians that would need healing. She knew there would be many.

"How is it you know magic?" Thor asked, unknowingly mirroring Loki's earlier question.

"I don't know exactly how it happened," Arianna admitted. "I just woke up one day years ago and was able to do it."

She looked at Loki and then back at Thor. "Is that muzzle thing really necessary?"

"It's what all Asgardian prisoners wear until they get to Odin."

"Yes, well, we're not in Asgard right now. Unless it's physically harmful for him to have the freedom to speak, could you please take it off? I understand the restraints, but the muzzle is a bit much. He's not an animal."

Everyone looked at Arianna as if she were crazy for standing up for Loki, but they didn't know what she knew. Having seen only seconds of what he'd been through, she knew being restrained was probably driving him crazy even if he wasn't showing it.

Loki lowered his eyes when she looked at him again. Thor didn't move from his spot. She guessed that meant he wasn't going to free Loki's mouth.

"Fine," she said. "I'll do it myself."

"Aries," Natasha said. "What're you doing?"

Arianna ignored her friend and began walking toward Loki, who was standing ram-rod straight and looking at her warily. It struck her then that because she knew 'magic' Loki might be more afraid of her than any of the others in the room – except for maybe Bruce and Thor.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she said as she brought her hand to the metal contraption covering his mouth.

A click sounded through the air as she sent enough energy into the muzzle to unlock it, and she gently pulled it from his face. Bruises were already forming where the thing had lined his mouth. Arianna would have healed him, but she was scared to actually touch him. She didn't want to be pulled into his thoughts again.

A bright light filled the room then and it took a few seconds for Arianna to be able to see clearly again. Out on the balcony was a woman with long golden hair. She was wearing a floor-length light green gown.

"Mother," Thor said, stepping forward.

Loki tensed beside Arianna and she realized that this was Loki's mother too.

"Thor. Loki. My sons."

Arianna wondered if this woman was here to help or harm. If she was Thor and Loki's mother, then she was obviously Asgardian as well, which meant she was strong and resilient even if she did seem soft-spoken and friendly.

"Thor, I'm here to take you home. Loki is to stay here."

The woman looked at Loki now, sympathy all over her face.

"You are to face the same punishment Thor did not so many months ago. You are to remain here, mortal, without any powers. You can come back home once you learn your lesson."

Loki had to stay on Earth? Powerless and human? He would age and die if he didn't 'learn his lesson?'

"If I may," Arianna said, stepping forward. "Have you considered he may have had a reason for doing what he did?"

"Yes, of course," the woman said. "Be that as it may . . . his deeds cannot go unpunished."

"Agreed. I just thought it bore mentioning."

The woman shared a kind smile with Arianna.

"What is your name?"

"Arianna."

"Arianna." The smile was still on her face. "Beautiful name. Can I assume that since you were so quick to defend my son that no harm will come to him under your care?"

"What?" both Arianna and Natasha said.

"This man who stands before me . . . he is a darkened version of my son. You, however, have the ability to heal people . . ."

"Oh. Physically, yes."

It occurred to her that this woman must have been keeping watch over her or something because she hadn't been there to see Arianna heal anyone.

"There are some things I cannot heal."

Arianna didn't want to say what those things were, what she'd seen in Loki's memories. There weren't words to describe it even if she'd wanted to. It wasn't her secret to share, anyway. She wouldn't bring it up unless she had to.

"Loki is undeniably clever. I think he'll be himself in no time." This time she sent Loki a smile. "Now, I suggest everyone vacate the room if you want your vision intact."

Needless to say, the Avengers – minus Thor – got through the rubble blocking the exit in record time.

#loki #loki x reader #loki/oc #Loki/OFC #love is healing #chapter two

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petersspidey · 4 years

Text

Art Class

A/N: Just another quarantine fic.

Summary: the four times Steve drew you, and the one time he didn't…. (except that's not a good summary. It's really just five times steve drew you,)

Warnings: Ok so… Pornographic pictures linked and you'll literally understand why when you read it and yes I did have to dig through (what's left) of the porn side of Tumblr… and smut lmao - also if the pictures didn’t link I'm rly sorry. I tried to make them :(

Masterlist

You were sitting in the lounge of the Avengers compound mid-quarantine. It had been weeks, and you were still inside. None of you had really gone out despite the fact that most of you were super-human in some way, Others of you were not. You, Tony, Pepper, and Natasha were all human, and didn't have any immunity to the virus.

You were sitting in the lounge reading your book when Steve came to sit down with you. You smiled at him when he sat down.

He shuffled awkwardly in his seat for a few moments.

"Panties in a twist?" you laughed, looking up from your book.

"No,"

"Well then what's up?" you asked

"I have to favour to ask you…" he said, still shuffling around in his seat

"What is it?"

"Well, the thing is, I'm-I-I am taking a class at Columbia and because of the quarantine classes moved online obviously and I was just wondering if you'd be free to help me with an assignment…"

"What class is it?" you asked

"W-well it's a life drawing class and I was hoping you'd be able to model for me. Usually a model would come into class and we'd draw them, but since we can't do that…."

You thought for a second, "Sure, Steve. I don't really have much else going on," you joked

You moved to go back to reading before Steve continued, "There's one more thing though…"

"What is it?"

"I-it's a nude life sketching class…."

You froze for a moment. Taken aback.

"Nude…?" you asked

"Yeah… l-look if you d-don't want to do this you don't have too. I-It's just t-that we have to sketch a woman and I figured that between the three women in the compound you would be the least likely to hit me when I asked,"

You laughed… "I can definitely see Nat hitting you, but I don't think Pepper would hit you if you asked her…"

"Yeah but Tony would…" Cap pointed out.

You sighed, and thought hard for a moment, "Look, Steve…"

"I'm sorry I asked, Y/N, I can just find images online or something," Steve said, cutting you off.

You laughed, "Steve, if you google images of naked women you're just going to end up finding porn, so…" you took a deep breath "I will help you, as long as you promise not to make it awkward."

"I promise. I really appreciate it Y/N,"

You sighed, "Just let me know when you need me to strip for you Steve,"

Steve blushed, "T-thanks, Y/N,"

The first time Steve drew you, when he opened his bedroom door it was more than awkward.

You stood in front of him, still fully dressed.

"What do I do now?" you asked.

Steve scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "Uhm...get undressed…"

You nodded, and began taking your clothes off. You could see Steve out of the corner of your eye, trying not to make it obvious you were staring.

"I didn't realize you had so many tattoos…"

You nodded, "Uh, yeah, I have 8. They're not really in places you can see them unless you see me naked,"

Steve smiled.

"Where do you want me?" You asked, standing in front of him, completely unclothed.

"Uh, if you don't mind I was going to get you to actually sit on my bed, and lean against my headboard,"

You nodded, and turned to face Steve's bed. HIs bed was messily made, with his all white sheets gently strewn across the bed.

Steve stepped in front of you and moved the pillows out of the way. You sat down, and leaned your back against the headboard.

"Can… can i touch you?" Steve asked

You were taken aback for a moment, "Uh...What?"

Steve stopped, "Oh god. I meant can I touch your legs to move them?"

He was blushing.

You nodded.

Steve lightly touched your leg, bringing it up so it was folded up against your body. He moved the other so it was crossed in front of you. He lightly grabbed your arm, and laid it out on the pillows beside you. He lowered your shoulder of the arm resting on the pillow.

(I tried to describe this as best as I could, but please look at this post for reference).

"Can you stay exactly like this?" he asked

"Yes," you said softly.

Steve moved away from you, and sat on a chair that he has seated at the very end of his bed.

He sat there and just stared at you for a moment, before looking down at his sketchpad and began sketching.

You watched Steve intently.

His eyes never really met yours, he just looked between you and his sketchpad for what seemed like hours. It was hours.

When Steve was finally done, he smiled down at his image, and then looked up at you, finally making eye contact.

"So can I get dressed now?" You asked

Steve chuckled a little, "Yes, you can get dressed now,"

You climbed off his bed, and grabbed your clothes from where you had placed them.

"Can I see it?" you asked.

Steve stood from his seat, and walked toward you holding his drawing.

He handed the book to you, and you stared down at yourself.

You had never seen anything so well drawn. You could see every shape and curve of your body. Every line, every stroke was of you. Your hair strewn over your shoulder, and the tattoo on your ribs, it was all there. The softness of your face, and the few freckles on your nose that everyone claimed not to see, Steve drew them.

"Steve… this is amazing,"

"Thanks, Y/N," Steve said, smiling down at you.

"No, Steve, I mean it. I don't think I've ever seen anything so amazing with my two eyes,"

Steve blushed again, "Thanks, Y/N, it means a lot."

The second time Steve drew you, it was in his room again. He got you to lie down on your stomach on his bed. You used your arm to prop yourself up, so you were almost on an angle. You were completely naked again. Steve's white sheets covered your legs, coming all the way up to the bottom of your butt. Your long hair was strewn on the pillow behind you.

You couldn't see Steve. But you wished you could. You liked the focused look on his face the last time he looked at you, and the small blush that came across his cheeks every time he looked at your breasts.

When he was finished, he came over to show you. He sat down beside you on the bed, as you sat up and took the drawing in your hand. He had done it again. It was beautiful. You saw every wrinkle in the sheets, the small curve in your spine, you could almost see the texture of your skin.

"Steve, this is beautiful. You're really talented," you smiled at him, handing him back his drawing.

He felt proud of his work, "Thanks, Y/N,"

You sat beside Steve for a moment, leaning on his arm, the two of you admiring his work.

The third time Steve drew you, he avoided the bed. He got you to stand in front of him. Once again, completely naked. It was less awkward this time. You were almost used to walking into his room and stripping.

He got you to stand rather close to him. He positioned you to look down, your hair falling in front of your face. He placed your hand across your chest, resting just above your breasts. Your other hand placed gently on your face.

You were afraid that it would be hard standing this way for too long. Steve assured you that you'd be fine and you could take a break if you needed.

You watched Steve draw. He was so focused. It was odd watching him stare directly at your bare breasts. But it didn't feel wrong. You smirked, seeing Steve blush while drawing your nipples. Maybe it was weird for him, you thought. While you always had thought you would get naked for Steve one day, this wasn't exactly what you had expected.

When he was finished drawing, you raised your hands high above your body, stretching. You were sore from standing in the same position for so long. But this time, when Steve was done drawing, he didn't look away.

You sat down on the edge of Steve's bed, still completely naked. You saw Steve shift in his seat, uncomfortably. He leaned over and handed you the drawing.

You smiled, looking at it. It was just as beautiful as the last two.

"I have to say, Steve. I never really think of myself as looking beautiful, especially not while I'm naked. But when I look at these drawings, I don't know how you do it, but it makes me look beautiful," you said.

Steve looked at you, "What do you mean y/n? You're always beautiful,"

You blushed, "Thanks, Steve."

The fourth time Steve drew you, he got you back on his bed. You lied on your side, using one arm to prop yourself up on your pillows. Once again you rested your hands on your chest, just above your breasts. One of your legs was crossed under the other, and one out straight.

Just like the other times, Steve moved you into position. Lightly touching you, always making sure not to touch your boobs or butt.

This drawing took particularly long. You had to take breaks through this piece, it was hard to keep yourself propped up on one arm for so long. During your breaks, the two of you would chat like it was nothing that one of you was naked.

When Steve would go back to drawing, you couldn't help yourself. Your eyes always trailed down to his pants. Everytime he drew you, you couldn't help but wonder if it turned him on just as much as it did you.

It was sometimes hard to tell though. Often enough his sketchpad was resting on his lap. And, Steve's pants were always kind of tight, you assumed it was due to his large package, and it was always hard to tell if he was hard. But, with every chance you got while he was drawing, you looked anyway. And from what you could see, he was hard the whole time. Just like how by the end of the drawing sessions, you were wet and knew for a fact that if your panties were still on, they'd be soaked through.

"Steve this is amazing,"

"Thanks. I really appreciate your help, Y/N. My professor has really loved my last few pieces. I'm on track to get an A in the class,"

"Steve! That's awesome!" you smiled

"It helps having a such a beautiful muse,"

You somehow always left each other blushing.

The fifth time Steve drew you, Steve had you stand in front of him again. This time, your back to him. Your head tilted slightly to the side, looking over your shoulder.

You were sad you couldn't stare at him. Especially since this was the last drawing he needed for his class. You watched him draw you out of the corner of your eye. You didn't want this session to end. Knowing that you were not going get to be this intimate with Steve again.

You felt as if this was the longest session yet. Steve took his time drawing you, making sure to catch every detail of your body.

When he finished, Steve came up behind you to show you the complete sketch. He stood towering behind you as you held the drawing in your hands.

You admired each stroke of his pencil. Seeing yourself in these images gave you a new perspective. Each drawing was how Steve saw you. Beautiful.

"You're so talented,"

You knew Steve was smiling behind you. He was an amazing artist, but didn't show off his work often and enjoyed getting the compliments.

"Means a lot, Y/N,"

You turned to face Steve, handing him his book.

"I have to say, I'm kinda sad I won't get to see anymore drawings of me like that. I loved everything you drew the past few weeks. It really did make me feel beautiful,"

"Like I said before, Y/N, you're always beautiful,"

"Thanks Steve, that means a lot coming from you,"

You leaned down to grab your clothes that you had left on the floor. You slipped your panties back on and sat on the edge of Steve's bed, turning your shirt back right side in.

"What do you mean it means a lot coming from me?" Steve asked.

"I just mean, you're important to me. And your opinion is important to me. I'd rather you think i'm beautiful than some random guy on the street,"

"Well why else would you think I ask you to do this for me? You're the most beautiful person I know. It'd be hard for me to ask anyone else, knowing there was someone more beautiful that I could draw,"

You smiled. You could feel your cheeks heating up.

"I thought you picked me because I was the only one who wouldn't hurt you for even asking," you joked

'Well, that too," Steve smiled back at you.

You were silent for a moment. You slipped your shirt over your head. And moved to put your jeans back on.

Steve moved to stand in front of you, and grabbed your hand. Letting you gently drop your pants.

"I did mean it though, Y/N. When I said you're the most beautiful person I've ever known,"

You looked up at Steve. He had a soft look on his face. You could see the yearning on his face. You stood up, not looking away from Steve.

The look he had on his face in this moment, was how you always looked at him. You yearded for him since you met him. Your heart ached every day you weren't with him.

You stood on your tip toes and placed one of your hands on Steve's cheek and pulled his face closer to yours. You closed the gap between the two of you, and gently pressed your lips against his. Steve hesitated for a second before placing his hands on your hips and pulling you closer to him.

He held you so tight, as if he never wanted to let you go. You pressed your lips tighter against one another. You were so happy in this moment you wanted to cry. You imagined every day Steve wanting you, and loving you. You imagined your first kiss so many times, and this was perfect.

Steve held you against him, and pulled his lips off of yours. He rested his forehead against yours. Both of you were smiling.

"I can't even tell you how long i've wanted to do that," you said softly,

"I'm so happy you did," he smiled.

You placed your feet flat on the ground again, just looking up at Steve.

"I was dying the past few weeks. I can't tell you how hard it was with you in front of me, naked, and I couldn't even touch you. I really didn't know you felt this way about me too,"

"You can touch me now," you said, moving Steve's hands from your waist to your ass.

Steve laughed.

He leaned back down to kiss you softly, his hands only trailing away from your ass to lift up your shirt. He pulled away from the kiss to pull your shirt over your head, tossing it aside.

Two could play at this game, you thought. You began lifting Steve's shirt, letting him pull it the rest of the way off. Your hands trailed down to his belt, undoing it from his pants. Steve just watched you as you unzipped his jeans, and pulled both his pants and underwear down his thighs. Steve kicked them off. He stood in front of you completely naked.

"Sit down," you said.

Steve obeyed, and sat down on his bed. You slipped off your panties. You moved to straddle Steve, your wet pussy rubbing against Steve's hard cock. He wrapped his arms around you, as to not let you fall. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pressed your lips against his.

You moved your lips against each other's. Deepening the kiss. His tongue entering your mouth. You continued to rock your wet pussy against his dick, teasing him.

You pulled away from the kiss. You looked at Steve as you grabbed his hard cock in your hand. You slowly raised your body, pressing his cock at your entrance. You slowly sat down, his hard dick entering you. He felt huge, despite how wet you were, you were still tight. You weren't sure if you would be able to take him all in.

Suddenly, you felt yourself open up. Both you and Steve moaned as you took the rest of him in. You both sat still for a moment, adjusting to the feeling of Steve being inside of you.

Steve pulled your tighter against him. Your chests were pressed together. He closed the gap between your lips once more, moaning into your mouth as you began rocking back and forth on his cock. The feeling of Steve filling you up, already made you want to orgasm.

His hands were pressed tight against your back, holding you close to him. His mouth moved against yours. Your tongues brushing against each other. You continued to rock back and forth on his dick. Nearly every movement caused him to moan into your kiss.

You kept one arm wrapped around his neck for support, but moved the other down to your clit. As soon as you touched yourself, a shock went through you. You rubbed small circles around your clit, as Steve thrust into you, while you continued to rock on his cock.

You moaned into your kisses. You bit Steve's lip as he moaned your name.

Your breathings became heavy, as you both neared orgasm. You felt like you were sitting on Steve's lap, rocking on his dick forever. The moment felt like it would never end.

You felt like you had never been so intimate with someone during sex before. Never been so vulnerable.

You could feel your orgasm building as Steve began making harder thrusts inside of you, and you started making faster circles around your clit. Your mouth never left Steve's, continuing to kiss as you came.

You moaned loud into his mouth as you felt your wall come crashing down, contracting around Steve's dick. Second later, you could feel Steve's dick twitching inside of you.

When you both same down from your orgasms, you silently rested your foreheads against one anothers. All you could hear was your heavy breathing and your hearts beating quickly.

Steve let himself fall backward, bringing you with him. The both of you laughed as you slipped off of dick and fell beside him.

You rested your head on his chest, and listened to his heartbeat. Steve ran his hand along your back and kissed your forehead.

"You're beautiful," he murmured.

#stever rogers #Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine #Steve Rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america #Captain America smut #Captain America imagine #captain American fanfiction #Captain America fluff #petersspidey #Peter parker #mcu #mcu x reader #Captain America x reader #Steve Rogers x reader #this was something I didn't know I needed until I wrote it

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mthofferings2020 · 4 years

Photo

issapocalypse

See issapocalypse’s existing works here.

Preferred contact methods: Tumblr: issapocalypse Email: [email protected]

Preferred organizations: - Anything from the list of approved organizations

Will create works that contain: N/A

Will not create works that contain: Hydra characters (my sewing machine has decided they're cursed), non-humanoid characters (sorry Groot!), and overly complex characters you don't want simplified/chibified.

-- Craft or Merchandise --

Auction ID: 1270

Will create works for the following relationships: Bucky Barnes - Any Universe Tony Stark - Any Universe Steve Rogers - Any Universe Clint Barton - Any Universe Natasha Romanov - Any Universe Nick Fury - Any Universe Phil Coulson - Any Universe Eddie Brock - Any Universe Carol Danvers - Any Universe Peter Parker - Any Universe

Work Description: I am offering one chibi sitting style plush -- but if the bid goes over $500 I will make a set of plush (2 plush - different characters) of your choice. The characters you can choose for aren't limited to the ten listed (obscure/characters without much official merch are most welcome), I'm happy to make anyone except for what's listed in my DNWs. Also, this is not a hard DNW, but I haven't tried making a masked/helmeted character in this pattern yet, so if you want (for example) Iron Man, you might either need to be okay with him without a helmet (just the suit with Tony Stark's head) or have a backup character in mind. You'll need to supply me reference images of the character(s) you want, in the outfit you want them made in. MCU / tv series / comics characters are all welcome as long as they aren't a DNW. If you're unsure, or you have any questions about anything else, please reach out and ask. Examples of the style offered can be found here. Characters can be made in kitty (with ears & tail, see: T 'challa) or human (see: Rumlow) versions. In all likelihood, though I can send you a mockup of your character(s) for confirmation relatively quickly, I won't be able to start work on making them until mid next year (so if you are wanting it by a specific date please contact me first to find out if it's doable to avoid disappointment). I will pay for the postage to send your new fabric friend(s) to you. Item will be sent from Australia. International bidders are welcome.

Ratings: Gen, Teen

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

The auction runs from October 18 (12 AM ET) to October 24 (11:59:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!

#issapocalypse #auction: craft #mth 2020

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amphtaminedreams · 4 years

Text

Film Tier Ranking 2019: A Bad Year for Bird Films

Hi to anyone reading,

I’ve finally put it together: my 2019 film tier ranking! I know tier rankings are a bit 6 months ago but seeing British crisps sorted into god, good, mid and shit tier all over Twitter, the format really resonated with me and I was like I MUST USE THIS AT SOME POINT! And I guess since there probably isn’t much of an audience for crisp tier rankings on Tumblr, it makes more sense for me to do it with films instead, especially as doing a 2019 year in film review was something I previously claimed I would do; here’s to 2020 and following through on my proposals.

I think 2019 in general was an okay year for film, with the end of the year definitely outselling the beginning. One thing to bear in mind is that a lot of films that I would’ve been able to see in 2019, I.E Little Women and Parasite, didn’t come out until 2020 in the UK so they won’t make it onto this year’s list. It’s not a snub by any means. I more fall in line with the Elsie Fisher Film Awards school of thought than the Oscars, which have yet again disregarded several incredible performances this year: Florence Pugh in Midsommar, Taron Egerton in Rocketman, Lupita Nyongo in Us, and of course, Greta Gerwig’s direction of Little Women. I’m sure there are many more but those are the first few that come to mind. Oh to be in 2017 when nominations made fractionally more sense.

This list also includes films that weren’t necessarily released this year, but that I just got around to watching; there were a couple of disappointments but also a lot of films I can’t believe it took me this long to finally watch and have definitely made their way into my favourites. My goal for this year is to get through even more of the films on my verrrry long Letterboxd watchlist, and more specifically, watch said films without going on my phone, which is a really bad habit of mine. I find it hard to sit still! Let me live!

I also want to try and put aside my prejudices about visual quality and watch more pre-2000s movies this year; it’s really bad but I never managed to get more than half an hour into Psycho, of all films, solely because I couldn’t deal with the black and white. In 2020, I am going to stop being a whiney Gen Z/cusp millenial-er and give older films the chance they deserve.

So, without further ado, here is my film tier ranking of everything I watched in 2019! If you make it til the end and have any thoughts or disagreements, let me know. I love to hear other’s opinions and get new perspectives on things and am totally open to any criticism. Happy reading:-)

God Tier

Knives Out (Rian Johnson, 2019)

Knives Out. What a film.

I feel like I waited forever to see this at the cinema. They must have started showing trailers for it in, like, August, and I had to wait til mid-November to see it. How are you gonna just dangle a film with Toni Colette and Lakeith Stanfield in my face and then make me wait 3 months? Totally unethical.

But that being said, when it finally came around and I did see it, as much as I love Toni and Lakeith, there was one stand out and it wasn’t either of them: ANA DE ARMAS. I have to admit I’d never heard of her before but she acted the shit out of a role I feel I’d ordinarily find irritating and gimmicky. Daniel Craig, whose character seemed annoying as fuck in the trailer, was actually surprisingly funny.

Stylistically, it was a very cool film and I liked the subtle commentary on class that was running throughout. Also, I thought the ending was very clever. My issue with a lot of whodunnits is that they just pick someone who doesn’t make sense for shock factor *cough, Bobby Beale in Eastenders, cough* but the shocks here were more in the details.

Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria, 2019)

There wasn’t one single moment of Hustlers I didn’t enjoy and it’s quite amazing that there wasn’t one single point in this film about strippers that I felt gratuitously sexualised women. THAT is why you fund female directors. It made the whole thing look like a calculated art form, which I think the unsexy amongst us can all agree that it is. Constance Wu was a fantastic lead, J-Lo was kind of robbed for a supporting actress nom, and Keke Palmer and Lili Reinhart were hilarious too.

Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)

Midsommar was such an experience that it took me a good few days afterwards to decide whether I actually liked it. I saw it the day it came out because I loved Hereditary so much and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I kind of had an idea of the way it was going to go, we could all kind of guess evil cult was the route that was being taken from the trailer, but I just didn’t realise quite how weird it’d get.

The gore was great, the visuals were stunning and the character arcs were surprising and for that reason, I think this is another game changer for horror from Ari Aster. I didn’t love it like I loved Hereditary but it continues to play on my mind and 7 months later I still can’t resist a good “Things you Missed in Hereditary” or “Hereditary Themes Explained” Youtube video essay. That’s how you know a film fucked with you and that’s the ultimate goal of going into a horror for me. Put that on my headstone after I inevitably get myself into some mortally dangerous conflict because I want to “get fucked with” a little bit.

Booksmart (Olivia Wilde, 2019)

So here’s the thing with Booksmart: I was getting progressively more and more drunk throughout it so I might be a little biased when I say I loved it. That being said, worth revere seems to be a commonly held opinion so I’ll stick to my guns. Plus, movies like this, which just focus on girls living their lives, are few and far between. Why have we had to wait THIS long for the female Superbad?

IDK. But Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein and Billie Lourd proved it’s definitely a genre worth investing in so hopefully we see more lighthearted female-led coming of age comedies. One Ladybird per year isn’t enough for me.

The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2018)

I included The Favourite in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch that I made earlier this year so I don’t have all that much to say about it that I haven’t said already. To summarise, it’s an instant classic: the cinematography, the cast, the lines, it’s all perfection.

Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino, 2018)

I also included Suspiria in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch list so sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I adored everything about it. If I had to sum it up in one sentence I’d say divine feminine energy, but inverted. Plus ballet. That dancing scene in the mirrored room will probably never leave my mind (if you’ve watched it, trust me, you’ll know the one I'm talking about), and if there were awards given out for creepy montages in horror, this would win all of them. It still blows my mind that Tilda Swinton played 3 characters in this film; 2 of them are so distinctly different, if anyone put two and two together without prior knowledge of this fact then I’ll blow my own head up too. This is why I got so mad when there was all that discussion around her being the new female Doctor Who and there were people asking who she was. How can you not know who Tilda fucking Swinton is!? She’s a legend!

Sorry, is the wannabe film snob in me showing?

Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018)

Though I initially watched it because it’s branded as a horror, Annihilation ended up being a surprisingly introspective take on human nature and our self-destructive tendencies. Nothing really went the way I expected it to, even though I was constantly trying to guess that trajectory from beginning to end.

Visually, Annihilation is magnificent. Like, it’s tense, and where exactly the plot is going is shrouded in mystery, but most importantly, it’s super fucking pretty. Sure, the only thing that was mildly horrifying was the *SPOILER* end result of that bear scene but I didn’t mind too much because there was always that edge-of-your-seat possibility something like that would happen again.

Also I realised that Gina Roduriguez is really hot in this! I would just say in general but that video of her saying the n-word kind of took away shot at real world magnetism. WHY SUCH A SHITTY APOLOGY VIDEO!? WHY?!

Assassination Nation (Sam Levinson, 2018)

So I didn’t clock until I was looking up directors that Sam Levinson, Euphoria director, also directed this, and suddenly everything makes sense in the world. They both have that dreamlike, exaggerated feel that perfectly captures the emotional rollercoaster that is being a teenager, only in Assassination Nation obviously the threats are a bit more...tangible. As in its actually other people trying to kill our protagonists this time round, not just angst.

Not gonna lie, it’s not a patch on Euphoria because that show is probably the best thing I watched all year, but I did thoroughly enjoy it, even if I did feel the social commentary, despite how in your face it was, got a bit lost in translation at times. I think it’s the kind of film that, once again, would’ve felt more genuine coming from a female director, however that’s not to take away from how witty, modern, and completely relevant it still is as we move into 2020.

Sorry To Bother You (Boots Riley, 2018)

Right. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Why don’t more people talk about this film? Like it has Tessa Thompson and the world’s best earrings! Lakeith Stanfield getting more than 10 cumulative minutes of screen time! Armie Hammer being that bitch we all knew he was irl (probably)! Scathing critiques of late stage capitalism! It’s insane, in the absolute best way.

SPOILERS AHEAD: I had a mini paragraph written about the last hour of the film and the descent into pure unadulterated chaos, and how it’s like, the internet’s best kept secret, because ordinarily you lot can’t keep your mouths shut about a film or TV’s shows most crucial reveals for more than 5 minutes and THEN...My FBI agent must be feeling real cheeky because THIS tweet pops up on my Twitter timeline.

Fuck this shit, I’m out. Onto the next film. MI5 stop peeping my drafts.

Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham, 2018)

I don’t want to repeat what I said about Eighth Grade in my 50 Films you Should Watch list but Elsie Fisher’s performance in this is why I wish the Oscars also had some kind of rising star award category à la the BAFTAs. Honestly, every 13/14 year old should watch this; it’s a reminder that although feeling like an outsider is by its nature quite isolating, it’s prolific enough that a 29 year old man, 10 years out of “high school”, gets it.

American Animals (Bart Layton, 2018)

My sister and I absolutely loved this film so you can image our disappointment when we turned round to our parents at the end and our enthusiasm wasn’t matched...as in, I’m pretty sure they were both asleep for a lot of it. WHICH I DON’T GET. Because to me, there wasn’t a dull moment. American Animals is what happens when a group of university age boys with the finesse of the American Vandal Turd Burglar try and apply that to an Evil Genius stye heist, part Netflix, talking head abundant documentary, part live-action film. Splicing a stylistic reenactment with interview footage of the men who really attempted to commit the crime elevated what I probably would have put in the Good Tier™ to the God Tier™; seeing the guy Evan Peters is playing alongside Evan Peters playing him, now only the remnants of the arrogance we see in the reenactment left behind, sharply reminds you of the fall from grace these boys deservedly went through. Plus Barry Keoghan from The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in it, proving that unsettlingly stiff is NOT in fact his natural state.

Gerald’s Game (Mike Flanagan, 2017)

I wish there was a shorthand way to say I wrote about this in my 50 Films You Should Watch list so I’m gonna keep it short but here we are! This was great! If The Haunting of Hill House isn’t proof enough, Gerald’s Game (not to take away any credit from Stephen King) is a reminder that Mike Flanagan is the king of subtle, niggling sensation in your stomach that something is about to go very wrong horror. I hear he and Ari Aster have a timeshare situation going on with the crown.

The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)

Okay, so this is the film that made me realise we should all be very scared of forests. Nope, all the documentaries into the Aokigahara Forest weren’t enough, apparently. I subjected myself to this too, as if my unfit, cold-blooded, bug-fearing, scared of the dark ass doesn’t already have enough concerns about my survival odds in the great outdoors.

Really though, setting aside, this film maintains the sense of dread throughout and keeps you guessing what’s going on until the very end. Much like The Descent, the group dynamic and characters are realistic enough that it adds to the believability of a scenario I, in principle, know would never happen to the extent that I might keep away from vast, wooded spaces for a while just in case.

Dumbo (Tim Burton, 2019)

If film Twitter came across this post and saw I’d placed Dumbo in a higher tier than If Beale Street Could Talk I can only imagine the outrage. And sure, the latter is probably a much higher quality film. But sometimes a movie, for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, gets you right in the sweet spot, and Dumbo did that for me. Maybe it was that the CGI elephant reminded me of my cat (I know, leave me alone), maybe I was emotional that day, I don’t know, all I know is that I cried like 5 times and was smiling for the rest of it-to be fair, the exploitation of animals for our entertainment is something that is still very much going on and that was something that was playing on my mind a lot whilst I was watching it. IRL Dumbos should be free too. Dumbo rights.

The VVitch (Robert Eggers, 2016)

This film taught me that there’s nothing wrong with joining a coven of young witches and getting naked and levitating around a fire. And that’s an important life lesson. Plus it gave us the quote “wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”, which is not only so perfectly creepy and simultaneously empowering that I had to get it tattooed but also, created ASMR. I just made that last bit up obviously but Black Philip getting his own ASMR Youtube channel?

The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2006)

For me, much like The Ritual, The Descent is a perfect horror film: it’s got the ghouls but the situation the characters find themselves in is also terrifying by its own merit. The reason The Descent made it onto my 50 Films list and the Ritual didn’t is because, let’s be honest, it’s 2020 and you can get mobile signal in most places. You could probably at least make a 999 call if you got lost in a forest. If you DID get stuck in an underground cave and it collapsed in on itself, you’d be pretty fucked; the idea of it makes me shudder and I will never set foot in an underground tunnel at any point in my life for any amount of money EVER after seeing this. Also, the women in this are great and the creatures in this are genuinely quite terrifying, especially the first time you see them.

Chicago (Rob Marshall, 2003)

Ah, Chicago, the last film on the God Tier™, proving that this list is in no particular order. Because WHAT A FIM. WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS MORE?! Like don’t get me wrong, I know it deservedly won Best Picture in 2003 but I’m talking about right now! I mean, fucking Titanic is still out here getting referenced left, right and centre and yet Chicago gets paid dust! Can you tell I’m mad and that I think Titanic is hugely overrated?! Is that maybe coming across?!

ALL the songs are bops, Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot (I saw someone on Letterboxd say that Catherine Zeta-Jones in this film was their bisexual awakening and honestly, if I hadn’t already known I was a raging bisexual, same, because I FELT things in that All That Jazz opening) and Cell Block Tango is the revenge fantasy anthem I never knew I needed. Smart, tongue in cheek, beautifully shot and makes men look like little bitches which is probably why my dad hated it but what did I expect.

Good Tier

Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019)

Onto the first film of the good tier, Zombieland: Double Tap definitely exceeded my expectations. I was super worried about the prospect of a sequel as I love the first one so much and assumed it would be crap. Obviously, it doesn’t match up to the original because the original WAS so original, but it was still a fun, easy, witty ride. And I was SO glad they didn’t *SPOILERS AHEAD* kill off Tallahassee at the end because I really thought that was coming and it seemed so predictable and unnecessary. Highlight was the introduction of the lookalikes at Graceland.

Judy (Rupert Goold, 2019)

So, this is the first of two consecutive rants I’m about to go on about Oscar nominations and people’s reactions online. Prepare yourself.

I’ll start with the underlying message: just because you think something else deserves the praise more, doesn’t mean the film/album/*insert whatever artistic medium you wish here* that IS getting the praise is shit.

Like people are angry that Lupita Nyongo wasn’t nominated for best actress for her performance in Us which is COMPLETELY valid as she carried that film on her back. In the same vein, people are also angry that more women of colour haven’t been nominated for best actress. Also valid; I’ve yet to see The Farewell but I’ve heard great things about Akwafina’s performance and I love her so even though I haven’t seen it, I’m gonna take the general consensus that she should’ve been nominated too. The Oscars definitely has a problem with recognising the work of POC. BUT, because of this, people are angry that Renee Zellweger has been nominated for her performance in Judy, saying that it’s typical “Oscar bait”. I agree, it is typical Oscar bait. However, a lot of the people saying this will in the same breath say (or tweet rather) that they haven’t actually SEEN Judy.

How can you possibly say that Renee Zellweger doesn’t deserve any of the praise she’s getting when you haven’t even seen the film? Don’t get me wrong, the film itself is good but not outstanding (hence its place in this tier), but you can see Renee genuinely put her heart and soul into this film; it was powerful, and it was sympathetic but it was also nuanced and subtle where they could’ve just capitalised on all the sensationalised stories of the actions of a woman clearly deeply suffering in her final years and had it be full of shouting and screaming. The Wizard of Oz has always kind of felt like home to me because of the childhood nostalgia factor and so I’ve always been interested in Judy and I think Renee captured her heart and her spirit in a way she would be deeply honoured by. Maybe the film itself doesn’t deserve the acclaim it’s getting but I think Zellweger definitely deserves the nom and I think most people who’ve actually seen it wouldn’t contest that.

Joker (Todd Philipps, 2019)

Okay so second rant. I’m sorry. I have a lot of feelings. Most of them aimed at the annoying tendency of internet users, Film Twitter™ and Letterboxd users I’m looking at you in particular, to be wildly exaggerative.

There just seems to be no nuance online. It’s not just yeah, I didn’t like the film personally and the message could be perceived in a certain way by certain individuals, it’s I HATE THIS FILM AND IT’S DANGEROUS AND THE DIRECTOR FUCKING SUCKS. I noticed this trend when La La Land came out (which if I had watched last year would certainly be in God tier for me). It’s like, if a film initially receives a lot of praise and buzz, there’s almost this wave of compensatory vehement criticism in response that’s usually disproportionate to how controversial the film actually is. People didn’t like that Joker was popular because they didn’t like Joker so suddenly it’s the worst film ever and the possibility of it getting any critical acclaim is wrong. I even saw people berating Todd Philipps for channelling Martin Scorsese as he’s the only person to ever be influenced and take direction from one of the most dominant figures in film of the 20th and 21st century. I mean, what’s wrong with that?! If it was any other director, it’d be called homage. But because everything has to be seen through this malicious lens, its copying.

I think one of the few very valid criticisms about Joker was that it further perpetuates the idea that psychotic people are dangerous, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. At the same time, we have to accept that whilst the majority of people who are psychotic aren’t a danger to anyone apart from themselves, most “dangerous” people don’t just become dangerous because they thought, fuck it, why not? A lot of people in the prison system ARE suffering with some kind of mental illness. The character’s psychosis doesn’t make him dangerous, it’s his underlying resentment and sense of entitlement that grows throughout the film that makes him dangerous, and I think a lot of people seem to miss this point. They say that the way the film ends implies Philipps is justifying the actions of the films protagonist. However, we KNOW the Joker is an unreliable narrator, he’s one of pop culture’s most infamous villains and that being said, both in film and in the real world, few villains see themselves as the villain. Joker is about why HE thinks he’s justified in doing what he does, not why he IS justified in doing what he does because he’s not, and that’s pretty clear from the moment he shoots someone in the head on live TV. Honestly, I think there’s a bit of wilful misinterpretation going on because people don’t like that film

I liked Joker. It was gritty, it was interesting, and sufficiently dark. I didn’t think it was the best film of the year but I understand why it got the praise it did. Obviously, it’s okay that people disagree and DON’T like it. But can we please get a bit more well-acquainted with the middle ground?

It: Chapter Two (Andres Muschietti, 2019)

Okay, essays over. Back to regular scheduled programming of less impassioned reviews. Though I will say I deserved better than my Letterboxd comment of “so you can just fucking roast Pennwyise to death?” getting absolutely 0 traction. One day my grand total of 5 followers, one of which is my sister, will recognise my brilliance (lol).

It’s hard to say how much I really liked this as I think my perspective of how much I did enjoy it is warped by how much I disliked the first one. Child actors really aren’t my thing and the only cast members I warmed to in the first one were Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer whereas the cast here were a lot more likeable, imo. Bill Hader, Jessica Chastain and James Ransone were all great, with the only let down being James Mcavoy; I love him, don’t get me wrong, but I just think he was really miscast in this role.

Another thing I enjoyed a lot more about this instalment was that due to the more episodic/anthology-like/Creepshow-esque structure with each character conquering different monsters from their past individually, the narrative felt like it had a lot more direction, and it didn’t drag as much despite it having a significantly longer runtime. I haven’t read the Stephen King novels and I don’t know much of the pacing issues are down to them so this is me coming at it from a screenwriting angle but it felt as if the climax of the first film just kept going on and on. Every time I thought it had finished there’d be another confrontation between the kids and Pennywise whereas Chapter 2 seemed to have a more definitive third act and I appreciated that.

Rocketman (Dexter Fletcher, 2019)

So, here’s one where I WILL agree with the general online consensus: if Rami Malek got nominated for playing Freddie Mercury last year and Renee got nominated for playing Judy Garland, why the fuck didn’t Taron Egerton get one for playing Elton John? Why didn’t Rocketman itself get a nomination when Judy did? Though I personally preferred Judy because I’m more interested in her story, technically and narratively Rocketman is the better film in my opinion. This was so cleverly edited and sequenced and told with such a brutal honesty on Elton John’s part (it was co-produced by his husband David Furnish and he was heavily involved in everything from the set to the script), that I can only come to the conclusion that the obligatory biopic nomination only comes when the focus of said biopic is no longer with us as a kind of honorary thing. Whilst something like Bohemian Rhapsody was much more of an easy watch (which just goes to show how glossed over Freddie Mercury’s life was in the film), the way the story was told, by the time we got to I’m Still Standing that happy ending felt so earned.

Aladdin (Guy Ritchie, 2019)

You can hate all you want, Prince Ali and Never Had a Friend Like Me are fucking bops and somehow they were even better in this incarnation of the film. I was initially hesitant about Will Smith being cast but rather than trying to impersonate Robin Williams he went his own route and it really worked. He was the highlight of the film. It was undeniably visually stunning too. Madonna’s ex did good.

Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)

Ah, I feel so conflicted when it comes to Us. Like, there were some really strong points and it’s definitely a good standalone horror movie. It’s just you can’t help but compare it to Get Out, and with that unsatisfactory exposition dump ending, I left feeling so disappointed. It seemed to me that Jordan Peele got in a bit over his head here with trying to tie such a vague social metaphor and the actual in-universe plot together, and so ended up leaving both a bit half-baked. He tried to OutPeele himself and for me, it didn’t work.

The doppelgängers were so scary as this ambiguous, vaguely threatening presence that if you are gonna give us a full blown, sit down explanation of why they exist it needs to be really bloody good. And this explanation didn’t make much sense. For example, *SPOILERS AHEAD* I imagine that the tethered just not being able to walk up the escalator into the “real world” was supposed to be some kind of metaphor for social mobility but it’s not fleshed out enough to work. In our world, there are REASONS why the idea of social mobility is flawed. In the film, it’s just like gee, if they chose to just walk up the escalator and go on this murderous rampage now, why couldn't they have decided to do it years ago back before they all lost their fucking minds? Why were they just copying the originals for all those years? HOW did they know what they were doing? See, the metaphor as I understand it is supposed to be that we depend on the oppression of others like us in order to maintain our social status, but not only is this kind of too general a statement to try and use a feature length film to make, I don’t really understand how this dynamic works within the narrative of the film. Technically, there's nothing to stop the tethered and the originals co-existing apart from the tethered deciding not to walk up the fucking escalator. We’re not talking a bourgeoisie-proletariat relationship here. The explanation of it all just being a “government project gone wrong” was too vague seeing as the plot working seemed prior to this to hinge onto something vaguely supernatural and the eventual plan of the doppelgängers seemingly had no purpose or application to the real world like the climax of Get Out did. It just left me feeling kind of like...why? Why did this all happen? When the ending and the twist was that predictable (the old Pretty Little Liars finale style twin switcheroo was blatantly obvious from the mother’s “it’s like she’s a different person” line near the beginning, let’s be real), I was expecting some final revelation that flipped my expectation on its head or at least felt helped things click into place. Instead, it seemed a bit hamfisted and like I was supposed to feel things were deeper and more significant than they actually were.

All that being said, I appreciate that if anyone other than the writer of Get Out had come out with this movie, I probably wouldn’t have these issues. Us was funny, it was fresh, and the concept of doppelgängers is something I’m so glad to see brought back into our modern pop culture database. The people are right, Lupita was incredible in this and it is a travesty that she didn’t get nominated. My sister, who was so creeped out by her vocal performance that she had her fingers in her ears every time Red spoke, still won’t let me attempt an impression of it. And that Fuck the Police sequence? Iconic.

On the Basis of Sex (Mimi Leder, 2019)

I apologise in advance for the shittiest “review” I’ll ever write, but honestly I can’t remember all too much about this film other than it being good. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’m sorry. You’re a cool lady.

If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins, 2019)

EURGH, THIS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FIM. The score, the shots, the rawness. I imagine it’s devastatingly real. Like, *SPOILERS AHEAD* you think there’s going to be a happy ending but there’s not. It should be disappointing but it’s an honest choice. And side note: fuck those annoying middle aged white ladies in the seats behind me and my friend who lost their shit and started giggling every time the N-word was used, JFC. I hate living in a Tory stronghold.

Cam (Daniel Goldhaber, 2018)

So, as I said, I’m a fan of the whole doppelgänger thing. It freaks me out. The point in this film where the protagonist is approaching her bedroom door whilst she watches HERSELF livestreaming from inside that same bedroom had my heart in my mouth wondering what she was going to encounter on the other side. And you see, the ending of this was a lot more ambiguous than the ending of Us, so I should’ve had less questions. Whilst I’ve seen other people saying it WAS unsatisfactory and that they felt like we were owed more of an explanation, I liked the simplicity of the answer we got and the wiggle room it leaves for our own interpretation. The way I see it, given that we were told by the fan the protagonist meets with in the motel room that *SPOILERS AHEAD* it was a case of some kind of software copying these women’s likenesses to steal their viewers and thus their profits, is that Cam is a kind of a commentary on the capitalist exploitation of women’s bodies and the demand for (and desensitisation towards) sexually violent content; we don't necessarily need to know who is behind the virtual cloning, which is terrifyingly believable given how realistic some of the deepfakes I’ve seen are, because it doesn’t matter. We're basically told money is the motive and we know the kind of lengths some people will go, and someone DID go to in Cam, to in order to make a shitload of money and that’s as true in real life as it is scary. On the other hand, if you want to believe there’s a more supernatural presence behind the events of the film, there’s enough left to the imagination that you can go down that route too. Some films are better left un-exposition dumped and this is the proof. My one criticism, is that, like many films, it would be even better if directed by a woman; I’ve seen people say that its portrayal of online sex work isn’t entirely accurate and though I can’t say with certainty that women working in this industry weren’t consulted in the first place, I imagine a female director would not only be more likely to listen to their concerns but could translate the confusion and fear that comes with being expected to makes oneself sexually desirable to get ahead in the world but then shamed and used for doing so even more viscerally. A few tweaks and it’d be God Tier.

Colette (Wash Westmoreland, 2019)

The costumes, sets, and Keira were so, so stunning. Also it was just an inspiring, beautiful story. The navigation of womanhood, so called “deviant” sexuality and self-expression against the backdrop of early 20th century Paris with a load of Edwardian era tailoring thrown in, it’s everything I could possibly want and more; 10/10 moodboard content.

The Boy (William Brent Bell, 2016)

I can’t believe this film was made in 2016, and it almost makes me move it down to mid tier based on the fact that a lot of the allowances I made for cheese factor I made on the assumption it came out earlier in the decade. BUT, that being said, I was creeped out for a good portion of this film. Most horrors I watch and I’m probably a bit too chilled (a head comes off or some witchy ass ghost screams into the camera and my only thought is some kind of judgement of the SFX), and yet I felt like watching this behind my hands. I don’t know what it is about dolls and puppets, Chucky was my childhood fear even though I never actually watched the film, but something about the uncanny valley of it all makes me just spend the whole time they’re on screen silently praying they don’t start moving or talking. So in a way, given the resolution of the film *SPOILERS AHEAD*, the premise of The Boy was actually a lot scarier to me than the reveal of what was really going on. Someone hiding in my walls? NBD. That demons are real and that they live inside creepy old dolls? Terrifying. Why does everybody I debate this with disagree!? You can't call the police on a demon! At least with a human being you can stick them with the pointy ending of something! Regardless, I enjoyed the journey and trying to work out how things would end and if there IS anybody secretly living inside my house right now, even if you are a supposedly dead murderous family member (last time I checked I didn’t have any of those so I should be all good), kindly vacate. Thanks.

Oprhan (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009)

So the fact that this film is based on a real life case makes this all the more terrifying. It was a bit campy and tacky at times but the shot of *SPOILERS AHEAD* Esther taking off her makeup in the mirror and revealing her true age will always be iconic. Plus I love Vera Farmiga, even though I did struggle to see her as anyone other than Norma Bates.

First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018)

A hauntingly beautiful film with a lot of room for interpretation. There were so many gorgeous shots and so much subtext, this is proper 10/10 media studies essay material.

The Invitation (Karyn Kusama, 2015)

I would say the concept and implications of this film, which don’t fully hit you til the final shots, are a lot better than the film itself. It feels very realistic though and is definitely tense.

As Above, So Below (John Erick Dowdle, 2014)

I was so stoned when I watched this that a lot of the allegory and Dante’s inferno references went straight over my head, and it just seemed absolutely balls to the wall wild. I couldn’t buy that the characters would just KEEP GOING either when things began to get terrifying, like people in horror films really out here making the most nonsensical decisions and it drives me mad. But anyway, it was definitely entertaining and there’s a lot more to it in terms of plot and mythology than most similar quality horrors and I appreciate that

Climax (Gaspar Noe, 2018)

Climax is an interesting one that I think I’ll have to watch again to judge how much I truly like it. As with Us, I know it’s a good film, but I think my expectations of what it was going to be left me slightly disappointed. See, when I read about the premise I assumed that the horror was going to come from seeing the perspective of the characters on said acid trip and that leaves so much room for any kind of terrifying visuals you want whether that be something based in realism or fucked up creatures of the imagination. Buuuuut, it wasn’t that at all; at no point does Climax take place from the first person perspective of any of the characters. Similar to Darren Aronofsky’s Mother, the horror comes from not being able to do anything but watch as everyone starts losing their minds and the situation gets increasingly more dire. It’s pure stress; the acting is so unnervingly good that you really do feel like you’re watching some unintentionally horrific incident take place. That’s not a bad thing-I like it when films make me feel something intense, whether that emotion be positive or negative. It was just a different viewing experience to the one I had precipitated.

Mid Tier

Nativity (Debbie Isitt, 2009)

I find Mr.Poppy hilarious. Does that make me a child? Probably. I’m not really one for Christmas movies but this one’s alright.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (André Øvredal, 2019)

I get that it’s based off a book so it’s not exactly like the “monsters” were a secret in the first place, but for those of us who didn’t read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books as a kid, my main beef with this film was that they basically revealed all of said monsters in the trailer. Like how It: Chapter 2 spoiled the scene with Beverly in the old lady’s apartment but with EVERY. SINGLE. CREATURE. The only one that wasn’t was the “jangly man” and the only takeaway I have from him is the “jangly in the streets, but is he jangly in the sheets?” Letterboxd comment I read afterwards. Like the creature designs are the selling point of this film and by showing us them all before we’ve even seen it, any anticipation that would’ve built up from their reveal was kind of gone. Plus, it definitely felt like the writers were trying to ride on the hype train of “It” when they wrote this-only they made it even more childish. I mean, I know it was classed as PG-13 in the US which is maybe part of the reason it was so tame but the Woman in Black was a 12 when it was released here and it could be the bias of my 13 year old brain but I remember that being terrifying to watch in the cinema.

Also, I found it weird how *SPOILERS AHEAD* a couple of the main characters died and there didn’t really seem to be any consequences? Idk, maybe that’s because I found them all a bit one dimensional but I’ve seen others make the same criticism so I don’t think so.

Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a BAD film. It just wasn’t super good.

Charlie’s Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019)

I’ve never seen the 2000s Charlie’s Angels so I really don’t have anything to compare to, but I don’t think this was THAT bad. I was fairly entertained throughout and I enjoyed Naomi Scott and Kristen Stewart’s characters. My main issue was the unnecessary inclusion of Noah Centineo, and that weird ass montage at the beginning of stock video shots of girls just...doing miscellaneous things. Why, Elizabeth Banks, why!?

Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley, 2019)

In some ways, I see why Toy Story 4 was narratively necessary: co-dependency had been a running theme throughout and we needed to see Woody (I feel stupid saying this considering he’s a fucking toy but allow it) realise that he can exist independently of Andy, and that there’s more to life than pleasing somebody else. The way Toy Story 4 ended felt like a satisfying conclusion to his character arc, and as well as the animation being top tier, Forky was a hilarious addition to the cast. However, I don’t think it carried the emotional weight of the 3rd Toy Story, which I think people had accepted as the last instalment and had used to say goodbye to the franchise, and therefore the sceptic in me thinks that the obvious purpose of this addition was a cash grab. I don’t doubt that a lot of people worked incredibly hard on it-I’m just saying that the propelling force behind the film probably wasn’t “the people need to see Woody’s character growth” and that was quite apparent throughout.

Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)

There were some really beautiful scenes in Doctor Sleep; the astral projection sequences in particular were magnificent and I loved Rebecca Ferguson as the villain. Stylistically, though I didn’t find out he was the director until I was writing this up, you can definitely tell it’s Mike Flanagan, and like I’ve said, he does horror very tastefully. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t all that interested in the premise and I wasn’t hugely invested in grown up Danny Torrance either. The execution was great and the return to the Overlook was brilliant, of course, but the story just wasn’t for me and nothing much sticks out as being a particularly intriguing plot point.

Mary Queen of Scots (Josie Rourke, 2019)

What to say about Mary Queen of Scots other than...yeah, it was alright. I mean, I really should’ve liked it more than I did, because these specific events were part of the Edexcel A-Level history curriculum (Can I get some Rebellion and Disorder Under the Tudors students representation up in here!?) and I usually love seeing history translated onto screen, plus it centred around Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan. It was just very...meh. I feel like there’s so much more complex a story here than was told. Both women were undoubtedly a lot more complicated than this film made them out to be and I think to reduce Mary Queen of Scots to a Mary Sue-ish heroine was a disappointing choice. Plus, if we’re gonna talk historical accuracy (which all the racists came out of their caves to discuss at the time), Mary and Elizabeth never actually met; I’m sure there was a more creative way to explore their dynamic than by forcing an interaction that never actually happened.

Apostle (Gareth Evans, 2018)

There were elements of this film I really liked; the mythology behind the cult, I.E what the townsfolk actually worshipped when you stripped away all the secrecy was pretty interesting. However, I felt it depended too much on atmosphere and not enough on plot, and I didn’t warm to any of the characters.

Searching (Aneesh Chaganty, 2018)

It’s difficult because technically, Searching is obviously an ingenious film. My issue is the way it ended, which was imo, super anti-climatic, and honestly pretty predictable in that it seemed like the writers just went out of their way *SPOILERS AHEAD* to make the culprit the person viewers would’ve ruled out by default for shock value, and then work out WHY that person was the culprit from there. I was expecting something a lot darker to be behind the protagonist’s daughter’s disappearance-irl, these situations usually are-and so maybe it’s just me being a bit of a sadist but I was disappointed by how things resolved themselves.

Deliver Us from Evil (Scott Derrickson, 2014)

So, this isn’t boring. It’s interesting to have a horror navigated through the lens of something as procedural as a police investigation. But ultimately, the acting isn’t great, there’s very few scary moments, and it’s a little cheesy. As horrors go, it’s pretty shallow-it is what it says on the tin.

Dumplin’ (Anne Fletcher, 2018)

I watched this right at the beginning of the year and I can’t remember all too much about it, but I remember not hating it? See, looking at the cast, Odeya Rush and Dove Cameron are both in it which would suggest I’d come away hating MYSELF instead but yeah...I got nothing.

Lights Out (David F.Sandberg, 2016)

The concept is very scary, the execution not so much, and the actual storyline is a little cheesy. I found myself just being like OH MY GOD, IT’S BELLA’S DAD FROM TWILIGHT! And then *SPOILERS AHEAD* getting mad that they did Charlie Swan dirty like that by killing him off in the first 10/15 minutes.

The Goldfinch (John Crowley, 2019)

So I LOVED the book of The Goldfinch. I read it after the Secret History and even though most people seem to prefer the latter, the former hit me right in the sweet spot. The length was almost one of my favourite things about it; I felt by the end that I came to know the character so well he felt like someone I knew in real life. When I heard Ansel Elgort was cast as Theo, I was really happy; I’m not necessarily a huge fan of him as an actor, I've only ever seen him in shitty teen-y dramas which I forced myself to like at the time E.G. The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent, but he looks kind of exactly how I pictured Theo looking. Almost like an Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood situation. And then honestly, the actual film came around, and I found myself much preferring the young Theo sections. I get that Theo is quite a muted character and I hate to properly slate anyone’s performance, but Ansel as him felt a bit flat. The casting in general was pretty whack; I love Nicole Kidman but she didn’t feel right as Mrs.Barbour and it seemed that they added a lot to her character to the detriment of Hobie’s character who was a much bigger part of Theo’s life in the book. Also, can we talk about Finn Wolfhard as Boris? I’m sorry, but that accent was godawful. Really bad. Boris’ accent was always supposed to be kind of ambiguous but this was just butchered Russian. Another gripe that my friend and I, who also read the book, had with the Vegas section of the film (which was otherwise probably the best part) was that they never properly explored the complexity of Boris and Theo’s relationship. Obviously I’m not saying that I want 2 minors to shoot a sex scene but it could have been referenced when they reunite as adults because the kiss on the head when they part in Vegas seemed misleadingly platonic. It was heavily implied in the book that there was some kind of love that went beyond friendship between the two and I didn’t get that in the film at all.

Ultimately, when you try and adapt a book as long as the Goldfinch, you’re always going to have some pacing issues and people complaining that things were left out or that X or Y character didn’t have enough screen time. But in ways, I think the fault here was trying to stay TOO faithful in the limited time available. They definitely could have focussed less on certain relationships and more on others, and when it comes down to it, I think we lost a lot of the grittiness of the original book for the sake of pretty visuals.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino, 2019)

Don’t get me wrong, this would 100% be in shit tier if it wasn’t for the last hour or so of the film and all the Manson lore which is so disappointing because I love Tarantino films and I love that era. As for the first couple of hours, I loved the vibe and I love Margot Robbie, and I think it was very respectful towards the Tate family (if anything radiated through the screen more than anything else it was Sharon Tate’s sweetness), but I just wasn’t that invested in Leo or Brad’s characters-it all just felt a bit pointless. I really like Brad Pitt and even that couldn’t really save it for me. Maybe if you took away the remaining 2 hours and 20 minutes of Leo DiCaprio making vague allusions to his own career to a girl only slightly younger than the combined age of all girlfriends past I’d enjoy it more but then I don’t think there’d be much footage left. I guess we should just be grateful that Tarantino managed to refrain from unnecessarily sprinkling the N-word into every other line of his script this time, right?

Also.

SO. MANY. FEET.

But then again, this did result in Brad publicly mocking Tarantino’s foot fetish during his speech at the SAG awards so...I’ll allow it. Sometimes kink shaming is okay. Especially when it’s this guy:

Isn’t it Romantic (Todd Strauss-Schulson, 2019)

I guess as romantic comedies go it wasn’t AWFUL because it was self-aware but still just not my cup of tea and it didn’t really make me laugh. Plus, I feel like it did just follow the plot of a conventional rom-com in the end so...what was it all for, you know?

Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 2016)

I think my disappointment with this film was a case of too high expectations. It wasn’t as gory as I hoped, in fact, there was very little on screen gore at all. I was just expecting something very messed up and I didn’t get that. But then again we did get Maeby from Arrested Development singing a fuck Nazis song so I guess that was a nice surprise?

Shit Tier

Birdbox (Susanne Bier, 2018)

First the disappointment of the Goldfinch, and now Birdbox (although they were chronologically the other way round but for the sake of this review, let’s just ignore that). It really is a bad year for bird films.

It’s weird because when this first came out I remember everyone hyping it up and making memes about it and stuff and then I actually watched it and dear god, it was boring. Honestly, who paid you lot to pretend you cared enough about it enough to make content? And where can I get in on this action?

I mean it didn’t start off terribly but then they killed off SARAH FUCKING PAULSON and somehow managed to make SANDRA FUCKING BULLOCK unlikeable. How does one do that? The mind baffles.

Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer, 2019)

The kid acting was bad, the leads were meh and there wasn’t one creepy moment. This should be SO MUCH MORE hard hitting than it actually was given the subject matter and it just fell completely flat. I will say, though, *SPOILERS AHEAD* that the ending was appropriately doom and gloom and even though I’ve seen lots of others say they hate it it was probably the only thing I actually liked.

The Lion King (Jon Favreau, 2019)

Seth Rogen and Billie Eichner were the only good things about this which is sad because I fucking love Donald Glover and I was so excited when he was cast as Simba. Like, it was pretty but empty and unnecessary and I’m not one of these people who think CGI remakes always have to be this way-I loved Dumbo and I liked the live-action Jungle Book too! I just think the people who made this cared too much about good CGI and realism and less about heart. There was no personality whatsoever and it’s such a waste when you think about the fact that they had Donald and Beyonce on board.

Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence, 2018)

Eurgh, I hated this. I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning and I usually love her films but every shot of her in this felt so male-gaze oriented, even the ones which were sexually violent, which I found to be completely unnecessary in the first place. At times it felt almost torture-porn-y which was not what I expected at all seeing as the marketing made it seem like some kind of female empowerment movie.

It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults, 2017)

I literally can’t remember fucking anything from this film. Clearly there is a very, very fine line between atmospheric and boring.

Warm Bodies (Jonathan Levine, 2013)

Maybe it’s because I watched this about 6 years too late and the whole human-girl-falls-in-love-with-supernatural-creature hype train has long since left the station but I couldn’t even finish it. Cutesy necrophilia ain’t for me, sorry Nicholas Hoult. Still love ya. You’ll always be Tony Stonem to me xoxo

Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood, 2005)

I’m pretty sure this movie won a lot of awards so I’m sure this is a very unpopular opinion but the way this film ended was so...depressing. SO depressing. Did it have to be THAT depressing? The Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode outsold.

This is the range Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank wishes she had.

Would You Rather (David Guy Levy, 2013)

Started off well but became cheesy and predictable as it went on. The acting wasn’t great either plus there was another unnecessary attempted rape scene here too.

Christmas with the Kranks (Joe Roth, 2004)

So I watched this movie in the run up to Christmas because my best friend and her mum were referencing it like it was this cult classic (which I guess for some reason it is?) and I’m sorry to her and her mum but what the hell is this shit?! It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.

The plot, the characters, EVERYTHING, it’s ridiculous on every level. I wasn’t into it enough to suspend my disbelief that anyone’s neighbours would actually care THAT much that they weren’t celebrating Christmas. Go on your damn cruise, take me with you whilst you're at it, ease my seasonal depression! I wouldn’t mind so much if it was funny or if the protagonists were likeable but it wasn’t and they’re not. Nobody’s actions made any sense. It didn’t put me in the Christmas spirit at all it just made me angry that Jamie Lee Curtis’ agent made her do this shit. She’s a scream queen goddess and she deserves better.

ANYWAY.

I’m now realising that I should have started on shit tier and worked my way up to god tier because now this post has ended on the rather sour note of me getting worked up over Christmas with the Kranks, lol. As always, these are just my opinions and I love to hear other people’s; when it comes to something like this, it’s all a matter of preference and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer, so I’m open to discussion!

With the Oscars less than a week away now I rushed a little to get this out on time, so apologies in advance if anything doesn’t make any sense or there’s any typos, I will look back over it at some point over the next couple of days to check.

But if you read to the end thank you! And stay tuned for my overview of Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 if that’s something you’re interested in as that will most likely be next post!

Lauren x

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