#the reason all fantastic four adaptions fail
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Top 5 comic book characters/superheroes and why are they your faves? 👀 (hope it's ok it's not drama related question)
nooo i love that this isn't drama related!!! cape comics were my main fandom for ages so it's fun to be able to talk about them again
let's see let's seeeee
Bruce Wayne / Batman - the obligatory number one boy. i feel very "well i loved him before it was cool" but it's also like, batman. everyone has a batman story. but! i remember being a Youth (like 14? 15?) and being like "well i want to get REALLY into the straightest white man thing i can think of bc i am a big gay brown girl and i'm better than them" and so chose batman. i didn't get as intensely into it until i was 16 where i just read fucking, everything. straight up, i only realized i had ptsd as a teenager through reading batman and the exploration of his trauma over the years (which is why tom king's batman is my favorite batman run). he's just a really personal love of mine and part of how i made it through the angry traumatized teenaged years of my youth!
Matt Murdock / Daredevil - if bruce is about ptsd, matt is about depression. he's another character where the exploration of his trauma through the comics really resonated strongly with me. the mark waid run in particular (which i know everyone always cites) did a lot for me. something about this page in particular is always something i come back to when i feel overwhelmed, and that's one of the few pages in comic books i can say made me and the way i deal with things feel really seen.
Damian Wayne / Robin - i love this kid. i love his anger and his earnestness and just how hard he tries. i don't think comic book writers are very good at writing kids generally speaking and especially not kids with trauma but damian gets the grace and care that he deserves. if you are not a damian lover, you will be after reading Tomasi and Gleason's run of Batman & Robin. that's where i fell in love with damian as a robin and bruce and damian as a unit. i know everyone cites the dickbats run for damian but i really think this does what i love for damian much better.
Oliver Queen / Green Arrow - i love ollie. COMICS OLLIE ONLY. god, he's been so badly misinterpreted by so many other media that i always hesitate to talk about him sometimes. comics ollie is my sweet socialist sjw who will throw tons of money at causes and also fight cops with his bare hands. i love his anger, i love his heart, i love the fact he's an oblivious frat boy poet. i love how much he cares and how he never hesitates to actually get into the issues. i also love that he would beat the shit out of barry allen for being a centrist piece of shit. i love oliver queen.
Reed Richards / Mr Fantastic - i love reed richards bc he is insane :)
#squee chats#anon#nemiyoru#top 5#the reason all fantastic four adaptions fail#is bc they do not acknowledge that reed is a insane mass of body horror and mad science#yes he is a dilf but he is also insane#BOTH things can be true#anyway thank you for the ask!!! i love my comics faves
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If you wanted the perfect example of the insincere, calculated way that Hollywood approaches Diversity™, it would be the last Fantastic Four movie.
So you're getting ready to adapt a property whose adaptations have historically gone over like a wet fart. You're mostly doing it for contractual reasons, but you've still got to make it look good for the investors. So you've got to stir up some buzz about the movie, and if possible give yourself an excuse for if and when it fails.
So you decide to make one of the characters black. It's the big popular thing, all the adaptations are doing it. Just pick a character and turn them black. Ah, but which character?
Can't be Ben, he permanently turns into a big orange rock monster partway through, and there goes your visible minority representation. Can't be Reed, he's the leader and main character, that's potentially a bit too controversial and a little too much like actual risk.
So that leaves the Storm siblings.
Ah but if you turn them both black, and then do the Reed and Sue romance ever, that's an interracial couple and that, again, might be a little too controversial. (Especially a white man and a black woman. That actually risks visibly pissing off black men, and that's a no-no from marketing.)
Race-lifting Johnny, and Johnny only, and then writing a storyline where Sue's adopted, is the exact right amount of controversy; because not only is it obvious what you're doing, it's juuuuust uncontroversial and excusable enough that people can and will defend it.
It's the $1 bet to gamble that you'll be closest to right without going over.
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A Matter of Style and Skill (Re: Zero, Sword Art Online, Grimgar, Isekai Uncle)
So, I watched a lot of anime lately, especially around the Isekai ("from another world") and LitRPG (inside a game) topics. I like fantasy stories, and I like those genres. Last one I watched was Grimgar - Ashes and Illusions (novel title: Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash), a series that lulls you by a more subdued, subtle pace and then crushes your heart... I love it! It was very well executed, and where the art style veered into water colors, that was just beautiful. Sadly, there's only one season and it's unlikely there'd ever be a second.
For each of the four shows that stole my heart over the last few months - Sword Art Online (SAO), Uncle from Another World, Re: Zero - Starting life in Another World, and Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash - I grabbed the original material, be they light novels or manga (in Uncle's case) to read on. For Uncle I actually grabbed the whole manga run because it was so delightful to read. By now it should also be clear that I grabbed everything I could possibly read from Sword Art Online and related series.
The experience of grabbing the original material ranged from smooth to jarring:
Uncle is almost the same in the manga from which the anime clearly takes all its style, cues, and humor. What I noticed is that the anime overdoes the "misleading situations" that are so common to this comic. Still, very faithful, absolutely smooth transition, both are a delight. If you like one, you are bound to like the other.
SAO was a bit of a surprise there. If you read the earlier materials you will start to notice how the story has been rewritten for the anime adaptation. If your starting point is the Aria of a Starless Night movie, you'd find that Mito only exists in the Movie and Argo plays an actual role in the story, nya. In general, the anime adaptations tend to introduce inconsistencies that don't exist the same in the story - and the novels are a delight to read, beating the movies or anime series by far. There's a few moments (mostly Liz/Rika) where the anime does better than the book and feels more consistent. The transition between books and screen is not the smoothest but absolutely worth it.
I've just started to read Grimgar and can already tell that the anime chose to rewrite some characters for the better, or to put it the other way round: Ranta is even worse in the novel (sigh) and Yume is a complete, utter ditz. For shame! So that was a disappointment. But we'll talk more about Grimgar in a moment.
At the bottom ranks Re: Zero, which is odd, right? Re: Zero is a fantastic multi-season anime, engaging, great characters, dramatic, as full of suffering and existential despair as Steins;Gate (the anime), it reels you into its world like SAO does, and it got an unique premise that it executes well. So, picking up volume 16 of the light novels seemed like a no-brainer... For reasons I will also explain I haven't come very far yet.
So kindly follow me on another tangent...
Characters, characters, and their mouths
What Grimgar does well in the anime adaptation is focus on its ensemble cast. You really get to know the group... in some ways. It becomes easily apparent for example that Ranta is an unbearable blaggard (which makes it almost funny that he's some sort of black/dread knight if you think about the word root) and sexist foul mouth. So much so it would be easily understandable if anyone left the series right there once he opens his mouth for any considerable length of time. The fact, however, that he's an unlikable character that nobody really gets along with is well established even in the short season this anime got. It's unclear why he choses to behave this way as he clearly knows better underneath, at least one tends to notice so in the final episodes.
What I failed to notice that much in the anime and what became immediately apparent within the first chapter of Volume 3 of the light novel is that Yume is an absolute ditz. Mind you, I watch with subtitles (and German ones in this case, no other available) and the translation hides the fact how Yume speaks ... a lot. So I was surprised by the English light novel and how every sentence basically uses "Yume" instead of "I." I revisited the anime and indeed this is the case in the spoken dialogue. You could say the translation of the book is rather on the nose (and it is). But on the other hand, the dialogue as presented in the subtitles obfuscates a lot about the character this way.
Now, this is one aspect of it. Volume 3 starts with yet another fight within the group, or better - one of these typical verbal altercations triggered by Ranta "who goes there." In his typical style of going for an immature confrontation he suggests to Yume (wait for it) that her breasts would get bigger (already groaning) if she squeezed them (this boy needs to suffer). A suggestion that Yume actually considers!! As I said, had this happened in the anime (which stops beforehand) there would have been no doubt that this character is as ditzy as they get... and that I would have stopped watching.
You see, Yume here is presented as somebody where I don't believe they're stupid as such but... she does seem clueless, naive, innocent even in some ways, I guess. Somewhere between naive and ignorant about some topics, maybe? But this I only really noticed once I read the light novel (volume 3). Within a few pages. (After the first battle is over.) It's on the nose, it's right in your face, you can't miss it. Whereas in the anime Yume might come across like her name suggests - a dreamer. She tends to babble on with what is on her mind in a way that doesn't necessarily imply she's a deep thinker, but most of the time we see her (eventually, like all of them) as capable, and her personally as dedicated, daring, fearless. Not in a "I suppress my fear" way. Outright without fear. (Making her the perfect scout. If you can instill some caution in her...)
Since I have not read the first two volumes I don't know for sure, but I get already the feeling that Yume would have come across as a ditz more than in the anime. And frankly, I enjoy Anime Yume way more than the other one.
Regarding the quality of the translation I have to wonder. The language is more like the terse style the Japanese supposedly speak. (Japanese sentences omit pretty much anything you can derive from context.) I found a mistake already that's apparent from the English ("it" instead of "he," misplacing the subject of the sentence altogether). I also think that rendering "メリイ" as "Merry" is a mistake by the translator, but maybe it isn't. (Could be "word of God" as well.) You can read this as "Mary" or as "Merry" as far as I know, the original "Merii" allows for both given how Japanese transliterates words in Katakana, emulating English by similar-sounding syllables (like "Smith" turns to "Sumisu" and can sound surprisingly similar). I think the makers of the Anime or at least the subtitles made the right call to call her "Mary." But I won't die on that hill.
Given the way characters were portrayed in the anime, I was definitely shipping Yume and Haruhiro, but I knew that wouldn't happen as soon as Mary/Merry called Haruhiro by a nickname, almost as first sign she connected with the group. It becomes pretty obvious after that. But before it was Yume who reached out to Haruhiro, and while "first past the gate" doesn't always apply, the two seemed to be both kind-hearted, complemented well in role (both stealth/scout style characters)... Well, and there were only two girls to begin with, LOL! (And later there were hints of shipping Ranta with Yume, and I sure hope that doesn't happen and stays one-sided. That was just insulting.)
The anime does a great job of depicting the group dynamics, their bickering, their attempts at dealing with their situation, the slow burn in general, but also in depicting the world and how they adapt to it. What I wasn't prepared for is the amount of changes the anime really must have done!
I had to stop reading volume 3 of the series yesterday. Almost all dialogue has Ranta screeching over it, you get pages of dialogue full of his BS to just get what's going on. If the dialogue was pleasing to read, fine. But it's just utterly annoying. Moguzo, who is just the quiet type in the anime, gets enlisted into Ranta's schemes way too easily. Both Haruhiro and Merry have the habit of correcting Yume - but while in the anime it seemed like that's done with a bit of sigh, here they come across as annoying sticklers. Haruhiro's inner monologue is an endless deluge of self-depreciation and reasons why he shouldn't talk to others. Oh, and when he described Merry as "a goddess" in his mind, it gave me a virtual gag reflex. Reading his stream of consciousness makes it also clear that he's way less nice than you might think - he fantasizes about backstabbing Ranta. Understandable, yes. But less likable.
All in all the anime chose to downplay the traits assigned to them by the author. You could see that's the same character when you read the book, no major change to the contrary. But bad bits have been toned down, made less obvious, or reduced to a more acceptable manner.
So in the end, the Grimgar book actually delivers dialogue and characters, but the end result leaves a lot to be desired. After reading the novel I feel like somebody who projected on these characters, seeing them in a more positive light because I saw less of them than in the books. In this sense it was a disillusionment of my own projection. The anime, however, is quite okay.
Prose from Pros
Where Grimgar does okay is the prose itself. You can read it, it's not the best, but you can go with the flow to follow Haruhiro's thoughts which speaks of a modicum of balance in the writing itself.
The first light novel I ever picked up was Sword Art Online Progressive Volume 1, and Reki Kawahara's writing style took me in. Not like Ben Aaronovitch (Rivers of London) who completely had me after one paragraph with his wit and execution. But Kawahara is comfortable to read, for reasons I will come to further down. He crafts good prose.
The translation of Re: Zero suggests that its author doesn't. I mean, translation always loses something of the original writer, but I'm assuming a translator is charged with translating with what is there, they don't tend to add or remove stuff. A sentence might be broken into several where necessary, or they might be combined, but overall you would expect the same amount of sentences even if one language is more verbose and another is more terse. What a translator would certainly not do is invent descriptions that are not there in the original - that would make them co-authors or editors.
And in Re: Zero's case it shows!
It had really high hopes for this. Realizing that the plot continued past what we have in the anime felt like getting a third season. I would get to read into another series of light novels! Re: Zero the anime was hard to watch (because it's emotionally challenging) but you could tell the source material had been carefully crafted. So I came with high expectations to this one, expecting a masterful author.
I had best braced myself.
Practically the moment I started reading my heart dropped. And I have barely picked it up since. There they are, the characters I cared about, right? On to have more adventures. And I can't muster the willingness to go... because it doesn't read good.
The reason is hard to put into words, but I'll try my best. There's for one a bad balance between description and dialogue, and what would have fitted well in the description of the scene ends up badly shoved into the dialogue. There's also no good separation between dialogue and conversation and inner thoughts. It just reads like a mish mash. But it's probably better to compare it with its opposite.
We're at the beginning of another volume, so if that were a Kawahara book he would in some form recap where we are and how we came to be there. But not as a mere blob of exposition - it would be weaved into the thoughts and the dialogue, but also appear as some straight exposition. If a character was musing about something, it would often sit in its own paragraph(s), and dialogue (or action) would continue after it concluded. This sometimes leaves you with a feeling that way too much time passed, but it gives you the chance to digest the thought process of the protagonist and understand the reasons behind their actions.
Kawahara will ensure that you as reader are on the same page as him as the author when setting a scene. He conveys the images he wants you to see, he conveys the information he wants you to know, and he's truly masterful at crafting the things that weren't said. Oh, his dialogue is good, no doubt. But he's at his very best when interrupting dialogue, characters biting their tongue, and at implying things you as the reader have to read between the lines. That's skill. But not in an universal skill, more of a particular set of skills that contribute to why his books are such a joy to read. He crafts good prose, dialogue, he sets scenes properly, he never leaves you behind. He sometimes overdoes the reminders, but he communicates to the reader everything needed to follow along and adds many charming details. His characters not only speak, their actions speak as well, especially small ones, details, everything.
When Re: Zero #16 reintroduces Mimi in the second scene, I can barely follow along. I can picture the scene only because I saw the anime and remembered her from the hints given. But I have to pause the reading to do so. Then I can work my way backwards to what has transpired in the scene. The way the scene is described obscures what is going on - we are told the character has figured it out, but we can't. We have to wait for him to say it. It seems like everything has to be said aloud here.
And what is said is mostly just chaining up dialogue from which alone we have to infer the mood of the speaker. There's no description of the speaker, no laying out the part we're meant to picture, no description of their voice or tone. The dialogue just comes at us, description might follow. Frankly, as prose this is unpleasant to read. It quickly soured on me.
It's a less obvious example for what most people would describe a book as "horribly written." And I bet this isn't the translator's fault. They're not meant to reorder sentences or add details. This prose lacks craft in the source as well I would assume. Grimgar definitely does better, it reads normal. The cringe comes from the characters. And it can hold no candle to anything Kawahara ever wrote - when it comes to crafting the prose itself.
The Plot Thickens
But it's not as if Kawahara's writing is perfect. If I compare SAO to Re: Zero then the latter has achieved mastery in maximizing dramatic escalation while also knowing a way out. Allow me a spoiler: Re: Zero is a time loop story. So we see the same events unfold multiple times to different outcomes. (You would be aware of this at the end of the first episode of the anime, so I hope it's not too big a spoiler. Go watch it, it's good!) It's not only up to the protagonist to find his way through the problems he encounters, the same is true for the author. Both seasons of the anime encompass 15 books in total - and IIRC three different time loops. This means the author clearly had a well-crafted plan if he can split each loop into multiple iterations over multiple books, each interesting to follow along. (He was apparently also involved quite a bit in the anime - says Wikipedia.)
SAO has been accused to be lacking in its resolutions. While dramatic, they seem at times quite "Deus Ex Machina." This is true of the ending of the first novel where a formerly unwilling Kirito kills the big bad after technically dying (for added drama), or for the Alfheim story arc - where we can take "Deus Ex Machina" literally! The SAO Progressive series also leaves an aftertaste. All the bosses of the later novels require an NPC and a gimmick to be beaten - which means they were basically unbeatable as is. The 6th floor boss is extremely gimmicky, the 7th too strong. Each is played for drama - and each situation could have also wiped the "Clearers" or "Frontrunners" out. Mind you - we're not even at floor 10 at the current pace of the series. Imagine another 68 levels like that. It would be suicide. There's a lot about this that doesn't work if you think it to its logical conclusion. In the end, it might follow that the game is unbeatable as is if you can't die and try again. (Which contradicts what the characters express about it - until floor 75 that is.)
Of course Kawahara made his own trap and got caught. He wrote a finished story that he ever since stuffs new content into, increasing the inner inconsistencies. But that's only half the problem. The other half is that Kawahara struggles with dosing the escalation. He revs up the drama for each individual book in an attempt to be satisfactory, but each series he writes as books following in a defined order actually risks crumbling under the over-escalation (SAO Progressive, The Isolator, Accel World) and breaking the suspension of disbelief.
A series stretching out over multiple volumes needs to dose its escalation in a way that future escalations are possible. The Lord of the Rings starts small and builds from a scope as small as The Hobbit towards a finale (or rather multiple finales) that include major battles and resolutions. But if you blow up a Death Star each time, it gets old... leading hack writers to create in the end a fleet of 10,000 Star Destroyers rising from underground of one planet that each has the destructive power of a Death Star. If you can't dose your escalation and scale, that's what you end up with.
So far Kawahara has managed to deliver, but if you look at the release schedule of the Progressive series you'd notice that it took Kawahara a 3 year period to craft book 5/6 (written together) and book 7/8 (same). While it was not the only thing he was doing, The Isolator closes in on a four year hiatus by now, and with horror we can watch on as Kawahara started a new series (Demon's Crest) instead. I personally wonder if it is tiresome to play one-upmanship with oneself. These ever more convoluted escalations aren't needed, but are not the only case in point where such escalation takes place. The same is true for the love story arc. But I will now gloss over it since I enjoy it too much!
Skills that pay the bills
There are many skills that an author needs to craft a satisfying book. I've mentioned the prose, the basic interweaving of description, dialogue, inner monologue. Then there is how you weave necessary exposition into the story. Characters need to be fleshed out and ideally grow and change in some way. Dialogue needs to convey us something about the speaker and seem convincing and true to the character. Descriptions paint a picture of what we are meant to see and hear were we in the world
There needs to be pacing. Good pacing balances action and more quiet passages. It builds suspense and resolves it in a release, over and over. But good pacing also alternates what happens "on screen" by offering us a variety of scenes, not just "battle" and "break," over and over, for example.
Then there is the drama, the misunderstandings, the emotional challenges, the conflicts. How they come about, how they defy resolution initially and how they resolve eventually. And how they are set up - oh, setup is ever so important. A character can die on page 1 and we will care very little, but if a character has been made central to the story and features in its dynamics, if the character leaves a big hole when they go - that's all in the setup. And it pays off so well.
Same for humor. The best kind of humor flows naturally from the characters themselves, their interactions, but it can also come from the situation. But it can also be poorly executed, and boy is anime full of poorly played humor... oh Handyman Saito, how often have you failed me! Not to speak of the downright juvenile. I sometimes wonder what separates some authors from the teenage boys they write for...
If we're talking fantasy or Sci-Fi, you also need to build the world, make it come alive, make it interesting, engaging, and gradually impart its workings on the reader. So it needs to be built and it needs to be conveyed, and the latter needs to balance with the rest of the story.
Even good authors need to learn this - and might publish their mistakes. I personally consider Alicization such. To me, the world was ultimately unlikable and I couldn't fathom why I would care about saving its disgusting society. The story paces poorly - after the protagonists actually get going, they immediately get stuck in a sort of boarding school story that is poorly related to their goal - to save Alice. Completely sidetracked at times, not interesting. Then we get into the Cathedral and it's battle, battle, more battle. Each chapter is homogenous to a fault. And the resolution drags out endlessly... I consider Alicization as a skill-building exercise for the author, but watching the two seasons to finish was a chore and nothing else.
Or take for example The Dresden Files. The stories are well-crafted, but it became soon apparent that every book follows exactly the same template. And each book will resolve one set of problem the character has and replace it with the same amount of new problems, so you never get a feel there is a breathing space for the character. There will be always be someone breathing down his neck, he always will be out of resources, outmatched, and he will still win somehow. And each book escalated over the previous one in exceedingly dubious ways. I just stopped reading.
Oh yes, resolutions! How you get from A to B in a consistent way, how the ending fits the story, how satisfying the ending itself is. Does the ending follow from the forces set up in the story? Is it logical? Does it seem forced or contrived? This goes for any arc, any change in how characters relate to each other, book finales, season finales, or outright finales altogether.
Or what's at stake. Why should we care? Do we care? Are the characters important to us? Do we relate to their suffering? Do their victories feel like victories to us?
Keep improving, not "more of the same"
All of these are skills an author can possess and you will likely find they do differently on some, or there are some of their works where they are still practicing them. Or they get stuck in what they do okay and never improve - which is the worst. Nothing like a "good enough" mindset author to tire of. What I hope for in an author is that they will improve and keep delivering satisfying stories.
Or these series die an ignominious death, if not commercially, then in your own willingness to read them. Piers Anthony crafted a great many really good Xanth novel that I enjoyed in my youth, but eventually he just kept writing them to be formulaic and too full of puns. Yes, the puns played a role in the original books, but they were balanced with the story and the world-building, and the drama, characters, and puzzles were well-crafted. Eventually he just cobbled together books involving a lot of reader-provided puns. Ugh.
As I keep exploring anime, manga, and light novels, I hope to find more of these jewels. More authors - or teams of authors - that keep evolving, keep crafting engaging stories, and keep building their skills. It's so rewarding when they do.
#re: zero#sword art online#sao#grimgar of fantasy and ash#grimgar#writing style#writing skills#uncle from another world
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Essential Avengers: Avengers #264: STINGS & SORROWS!
February, 1986
And now -- the All-New YELLOWJACKET!
Oh, hey! I’ve heard of the All-New Yellowjacket!
Not much except that she exists and mmblemmble the Crossing but still! Excited to see her debut.
Wasp seems less so.
It does seem like Yellowjacket is the Hank Pym identity that just didn’t catch on with everyone else. There’s a couple Ant-Men. A couple Giant-Men. A few Goliaths. But if there’s a long term non-Hank Yellowjacket aside from our cover girl here, I haven’t heard of them and slash or don’t remember them.
Also? That title? Stupendous.
So, lets get into this issue and meet the All-New definitely all different Yellowjacket.
Last times on Avengers: there’s not a lot of last time relevant to this issue. Recently Black Knight, Hercules, and Namor joined the team. The Fantastic Four are living in Avengers Mansion since the Baxter Building exploded. A while back, Hank Pym Yellowjacket had a breakdown and built a robot to beat up the Avengers. Then he was framed for crime and went to jail. He proved his innocence but decided to quit superheroics, leaving his Yellowjacket costume at Avengers Mansion for someone else to take up the mantle. The Avengers have never really gotten around to that.
Now time:
Janet is strapped to a science thing while a blonde superhero scientist does science at her.
The more things change...
Okay, Hank sass aside, for whatever reason (cough cough secret crush?), Dane Whitman has decided to test Wasp’s powers with an obstacle course and then a test of her Wasp sting and Wasp strength.
Wasp: “If it’ll make you happy, Dane -- but really, a ‘power run’? You make me sound like a Porsche being road-tested!”
Black Knight: “Please! Concentrate on getting through the obstacle course!”
Wasp: “Oh, all right! This is a piece of cake compared to, say, threading through Bloomingdale’s during spring sales! Say, were you insinuating that I can’t talk and concentrate at the same time?”
Dang, Jan.
Black Knight: “Is that good enough? I’ll say it is! You just bent a 2-inch diameter steel bar nearly double! I had no idea you could do that!”
Wasp: “Well, I couldn’t always. But a couple of years ago, my... ex-husband, Hank Pym, modified my powers so that my strength is boosted as I shrink. I just don’t show it off so much. It’s more efficient to zap an opponent with my sting than to rip his arm off... less mess, too!”
Black Knight: “Uh... yeah.”
It comes up every so often but Wasp is a lot more powerful than she lets on. Possibly part of her hiding her true self from Hank and his insecurities. But also because she’s just happy with the Wasp way she Wasp operates.
It’s also come up semi-recently that at full power, her Wasp sting could knock down a house.
Anyway, good excuse as any for any inconsistencies in power from her.
I’m vaguely aware that she’ll be fighting some heavy hitters alone in the near future and I hope the writer remembers that she’s actually strong if she needs to be.
I like Wasp. She’s fun.
Anyway, through science Dane Whitman, Science Black Knight, has discovered something interesting.
Her body has adapted to the Wasp powers far better than Hank Pym predicted.
The antenna cells that were originally implanted (for controlling insects?) failed but the wing cells have gradually multiplied.
Which means... Wasp can Wasp at bigger sizes.
She’s been subconsciously using it to appear little bigger than her Standard Wasp Size so she can be better seen and heard as Avengers leader but thanks to Dane’s discovery, Wasp realizes she can maintain her wings at just one foot short of her full height!
Later in the issue, she says her normal height is 5′4'’ so she can now Wasp at 4′4′‘. Including flying.
Dane advises that she probably won’t fly as fast at one foot minus full size and that she should be careful flying indoors with her bigger wings until she’s used to it.
Also, he wants to run more tests...
Wasp: “No, you don’t! It’s a perfectly beautiful day, and I won’t spend one more minute cooped up in here!”
Black Knight: “Did I say ‘now’? I can test you later. Go on... have fun!”
Wasp: “Well, I never -- ! A scientist who isn’t stuffy? You’re one-of-a-kind, Dane Whitman! Thanks!”
And she gives him a kiss, on the mouth, not the cheek.
Goodness, you flirt.
Dane, who has been clearly feeling feelings about Wasp for a couple issues now, so tentatively suggests they celebrate her cool power up by having dinner later.
Wasp freely agrees, leaves it to him to make the reservations, calls him a doll and flies off to have fun flying in Central Park as Normal Sized Woman.
Wasp: “Oh, this is ecstasy! No more flitting through a giant world... and no more dodging birds! From now on, they’ll have to get out of my way! WHEEEEEEEEEEE”
Huh, I forgot about that time she had to fight a bird.
It was so long ago.
Also, the panel of her flying in Central Park is very good.
I like the couple who are like ‘is it a bird, is it a plane??’ and pointing at her.
Back in the lab, Black Knight is still feeling feelings.
Black Knight, thinking: “So, I’m a doll, huh? And ‘one-of-a-kind.’ Those’re the nicest things any woman’s said about me in a long time... a long, long time.”
Well, you were in the past and spending most of your time doing a Crusade. Maybe there’s a reason.
Anyway, go for it, Dane. I know you have a love triangle later with Sersi and Crystal but maybe this would be the better option.
Actually, I’m curious what happens to this subplot because it can’t amount to anything lasting according to my Cursed Future Knowledge of the team jacket era.
And if Wasp isn’t just being socially flirty, damn does she have a type. Blonde, emotionally complicated scientist/superheroes.
Outside Avengers Mansion, a mysterious person in a mysterious van hangs out and puts on a mysterious helmet.
A helmet that sends a signal to the long forgotten Yellowjacket costume that Hank Pym left behind when he quit superheroing forever (so far).
The signal causes the suit to discharge electromagnetically which pops the locks on the locker that costume was locked in.
And then the signal activates the power-packs and microcircuits woven into the costume, causing it to fly out of the locker and up the stairs.
God, I adore the creepy empty way it hangs in air.
If the tone of this issue were different, I would suggest that the van person not be revealed just yet so that the costume just starts moving by itself.
Elsewhere in the mansion, Black Knight decides to spend some of the time until dinner date with Wasp on sword practice.
Black Knight: “My scientific expertise may help the Avengers -- but when we’re called to battle, they need my good right arm... and the enchanted Ebony Blade of the Black Knight!”
Black Knight so far is a lot more interesting a Science Guy than Starfox wound up being.
As a character, Starfox’s best science guy moment is when he looked up from making out with somebody, recognized a Bad Science Thing was happening and had an Oh Crap moment and had to run off to science.
It got to the conflict in his character.
He’s incredibly smart, relatively, and can be incredibly responsible. But he really wanted to just have dumb himbo adventures on Earth. And he’s very annoyed that he keeps having to be an adult.
Wish more had been done with that.
Black Knight recaps some of his backstory, about going back in time to the Crusades. How when he returned to the present, his incredibly cursed sword made him fight Dr. Strange until the sorcerer supreme managed to break the curse (for now).
Black Knight: “But to think that, after twenty years of scientific study, I would wind up with a crazy mystical bond to an ancient ancestor’s sword. Weird!”
I love comics sometimes.
Anyway, while he’s pondering how weird his life is, he completely misses the empty Yellowjacket costume scooting right past the door.
Down the hall, Reed Richards and Hercules similarly miss the costume as Hercules holds a heavy thing to help Reed adjust the Beyonder Detector that Black Knight and Project PEGASUS whipped up.
Speaking of the Beyonder, Hercules ironically says “There be all too many strange comings and goings ‘round here for the son of Zeus!” just as the Yellowjacket costume flies by unnoticed.
Womp womp.
Then, Jarvis misses the costume twice. Once in the kitchen as he takes a tray of cookies out of the oven. And then again in the backyard as he goes out to offer a cookie to Franklin Richards.
Not gonna blame Jarvis though. I quite like him and this interaction is cute.
The empty Yellowjacket costume flies over the wall and into the mysterious van.
Mysterious van person: “I did it! I did it! I actually boosted Henry Pym’s old Yellowjacket outfit from Avengers Mansion, right under the noses of those super boy-scouts! Oh, baby, and if I can get away with this, there won’t be nothin’ I can’t do! Just one more stop now, and I’ll have it all!”
How very mysterious, mysterious van person.
But how did you even know it was there? And how to remote pilot it like that?
Explain yourself, you shadowy enigma!
Instead of that, Namor McKenzie feels sorry for himself.
Back in the mansion, Namor internal monologue bemoans to himself about losing his throne and being forced to live with the land-dwellers, who were once his mightiest foes.
He thinks its an honor being an Avenger but worries about how the land-dwellers will react when its common knowledge that Namor McKenzie is an Avenger.
I mean, he did flood New York at least once. But then he fought some Nazis. But then he kept trying to kill the Avengers and tried to sue the entire human race. So he has a pretty mixed reputation.
Invisible Woman wanders into the room and Namor muses that she’s more beautiful every time they meet. And just sort of reminisces about their.... history? Their history of him inappropriately hitting on her all the time?
Then Franklin comes in to show off the drawing he’s been drawing and Namor just goes ‘uhhhh well bye!’
I don’t know if the intended read is Namor deciding not to seduce her because that’s a dick move when she has a kid. Or the kid just spoiling whatever mood he had in his head. Or realizing he can’t compete with Franklin for Sue’s attention without losing every time.
Whatever is going on in these panels, its hilarious.
Over in New Orleans, a brief Captain Monica Marvel adventure.
Since she doesn’t have a solo book, she gets to have solo adventures in the Avengers book.
Monica’s dad Frank Rambeau is firefighting a fire but more specifically is trying to free a fellow firefight trapped under a beam.
Frank refuses to leave a man behind so he’s not leaving the fire despite the situation being hopeless.
Luckily, Captain Marvel shows up.
She lasers the beam in half so they can lift it off the trapped guy and then guides the firefighters out of the building.
Turning into energy has a lot of useful applications, like not inhaling smoke.
She flies off and one of the firefighters comments “She’s sure somethin’, isn’t she, Lt. Rambeau?” And Frank can only agree.
Monica returns to her mom Maria’s seamstress shop (as invisible infrared energy so nobody goes ‘hey it looks like Captain Marvel shops at Maria’s and is perhaps her favorite customer!’).
It turns out, or seems to turn out if I’m parsing it correctly, that Maria asked Monica to go to the fire because she heard on the news that a fireman was trapped inside.
Maria worries so ever since a time that Frank was trapped in a church fire.
Captain Marvel: “Momma? I understand how you feel. I worry about daddy, too... and about my teammates in the Avengers. But we can’t let worries run our lives.”
Maria Rambeau: “You’re right, dear -- but that’s not easy with a fireman and a superhero in the family! So much can happen.”
And as Monica tries on a new dress her mom seamstressed for her, she reflects that so much does can happen.
Captain Marvel, thinking: “I’ve already seen a lot of transition in the Avengers. Captain America, the Wasp, and I have really been the constants in a changing team. Cap and Jan have been such good friends to me. I think I could trust them with anything. The Black Knight, too. Just a few days ago, I was on the verge of sharing my civilian identity with the Avengers, but now -- since the Sub-Mariner joined us -- I’m not sure I should. Come to think of it, could Hercules be trusted to keep my identity a secret? I suppose I could tell just Cap and Jan and Dane, but -- !”
Continuing a minor subplot in the books recently. I don’t remember if I brought it up when it first came up because it was Monica considering telling the Avengers for like one panel on a busy page.
Monica doesn’t make a decision about it now because her mom interrupts her train of thought.
Instead, she decides to treat her parents to dinner.
Cute scene, all in all. I’m glad she told her parents that she’s Captain Marvel. It’s good to have some supporting cast she can confide in. Emotionally and, uh, narratively.
Meanwhile, over in the Big New York, Captain America is leaping about on rooftops thinking about weird events from his own book, trying to get you to go and read Captain America #312, teasing you with vague hints about what a bizarre plot is a-happening.
(Too bad for editorial captions from the year 1986 but I can just go on the wiki and spoil it for you: Captain America receives a weird phone call from Porcupine Alex Gentry who is trying to sell his Porcupine armor to Cap so he can quit crime. Cap agrees to buy it if Porcupine will help set a trap for the Serpent Society. Which he does do. Then Porcupine trips, falls on one of the pointy bits of his costume and dies. Alas, Porcupine.)
Anyway, Wasp is also flying around the city at almost full size until she realizes that she needs to go home and get changed for her dinner date with Dane.
As she flies over New Jersey’s Palisdes Parkway, she muses that she’s a little slower at almost full size but its better than traffic.
But her wings are bigger. Shouldn’t she be faster? But she’s bigger so more mass for the wings to propel?
Hmm, I’ll just take the comic’s word at face value.
When Wasp arrives at her New Jersey big home, she finds a suspicious van is parked next to the wing that housed Hank Pym’s lab when he lived here.
I don’t know if it would still have anything in it. I thought Hank took all his stuff with him.
Curious, Wasp flies into the open window of the van and discovers two dun dun dun moments.
First dun dun dun, she finds the shredded remains of the Yellowjacket costume. Like someone tore all the tech out of it.
Second dun dun dun, the culprit just opened the van door.
Of course, Janet just leaps out and immediately decks her.
Which. Entirely justified.
Possibly cathartic even.
Janet deduces that this all-new Yellowjacket was raiding Hank’s old lab for some reason. And she demands answers on how she got past security and how she got the old Yellowjacket outfit that she cannibalized for her new one.
But after flying around Manhattan all afternoon rapidly growing to punch this Yellowjacket makes Janet feel faint and distracts her.
New Yellowjacket tries to shoot Wasp with one of the Yellowjacket Disruptor Stings. Wasp is able to shrink under the blast and nyoom away from the van, which is a good thing because new Yellowjacket accidentally hit the gas tank and blew up her own escape vehicle.
Womp womp.
New Yellowjacket isn’t too upset by that though, since she thinks it’ll be easy for new Yellowjacket to steal another van.
But new Yellowjacket calling herself Yellowjacket just pisses off Wasp and she zaps her arm from behind.
New Yellowjacket freaks out at Wasp flying around at (near) full size zapping her because she’s not supposed to be able to do that.
Yesterday, you would have been right, New Yellowjacket!
She’s also freaked out that Wasp’s zap numbed her left arm so she can barely move it.
So New Yellowjacket freaks and bails into the woods to try to lose Wasp.
Wasp pursues, small sized, so New Yellowjacket decides to play the last trick up her sleeve.
SHE WILL ALSO GO SMALL
Upon which New Yellowjacket immediately has an existential breakdown.
It sometimes gets mentioned that not everybody can handle the harsh shift in perspective brought on by shrinking down real small.
Just Hank, Janet, Scott Lang, Eric O’Grady, Chris McCarthy, Mitch Carson, the Szalinski kids and their neighbors...
Well lots of people apparently. But in this specific instance, no.
Janet tries to slap some sense into New Yellowjacket but when that doesn’t work, she takes her helmet and hits the manual override.
After an experience like that, N.Y. just gives up and surrenders herself to Wasp.
Everyone reacts to trauma differently but she’s lucky that she didn’t encounter any relatively large insects. That would have been a worse day for her.
Wasp asks who New Yellowjacket is and where she got the Yellowjacket technology but she refuses to answer and demands a lawyer.
Smort.
Shortly the police arrive to take away New Yellowjacket (gonna jump ahead and say that her name is Rita DeMara), telling Wasp they’ll keep her informed about whatever they find out about her.
Sergeant: “She looks pretty hard-boiled now... what made her freak out?”
Wasp: “She just couldn’t adjust to being small... not everyone can. That’s the advantage I have.”
Sergeant: “Advantage?”
Wasp: “Five-foot-four is the biggest I get... I’ve been small all my life!”
‘That’s my secret, Sergeant. I’m always short.’
Hah.
And then she excuses herself to get ready for dinner.
So that’s the new Yellowjacket because leaving an identity unused is just asking for someone to come and call dibs. Or for Hobgoblin to rent it out. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Or not myself, I don’t cover Spider-Man. Someone else can explain that to you.
So that’s the new Yellowjacket.
She’s not going to have nothing to do with the Avengers but oddly enough she’s more known for her stint on the Guardians of the Galaxy, if she’s known at all.
Rita Yellowjacket didn’t really impress on her first outing but honestly. Honestly? Wasp has a massive experience advantage on her. It was never even a fight.
That’s why it only lasted the last bit of the book.
Next time on Avengers...
Oh.
Oh god.
WELL ACTUALLY NEXT TIME ON LIVEBLOG I DO WEST COAST AVENGERS #6
HA NICE TRY THE BEYONDER
Follow @essential-avengers if you’re a Wasp fan. Also like and reblog if you’re a Wasp fan. But you can do these things if you’re not. I’m not picky.
#essential avengers#Avengers#Yellowjacket#Rita DeMara#the Wasp#Black Knight#Captain America#Captain Marvel#Monica Rambeau#Namor McKenzie#Hercules#Mr Fantastic#Invisible Woman#Fantastic Four#Franklin Richards#Edwin Jarvis#that cool guy#essential marvel liveblogging
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7. My Top 15 Anime List
I have watched a lot of anime in the past four years, but one thing that gives me great enjoyment is ranking my top anime. Here I will rank my top 15 favorite anime, along with some honorable mentions that couldn’t make it. However, I won’t be going too in-depth on the analyses; I just want to give you a general idea of why the particular anime is where it is on my list. In general, I rank my anime depending on a combination of factors: 1) how brilliant I find the anime to be written, 2) if the themes resonate with me, 3) if it is categorized in my favorite genres, and 4) my general enjoyment level. Anyway, to the list.
Number 15
One Punch Man
When I first watched One Punch Man, it seemed nothing more than a mindless comedy anime. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed it and laughed a lot, but I found it to be forgettable. But one day, I heard that the genre of One Punch Man was seinen, which made no sense to me. It had no dark and mature themes, and as I mentioned, it was nothing more than a senseless comedy. But then one day, on a whim, I watched One Punch Man again. And I REALLY enjoyed it. I still laughed a lot, but something felt different to me this time. I actually felt like I had a deep connection with each of the characters. The story seemed to be more structured and enjoyable this time, and finally, I could actually see the themes that One Punch Man was trying to explore. It made sudden sense to me that One Punch Man is indeed a seinen and that it had a lot more to it than on the surface. Of course, the difference in experience is because of my new understanding of anime and the experience I gained.
Number 14
Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple
Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple is probably one of the most unknown, underappreciated, and underrated anime on this list. Someone recommended it to me, and I had never heard of it, so I assumed it was a mediocre anime. But when I watched it, I had so much fun which I hadn’t felt in many months. It is a training shōnen anime where the main character tries to learn martial arts. That is all I want to say for now because I don’t want to spoil anything, so go watch it. I highly recommend it.
Number 13
A Place Further than the Universe
I don’t see many people talking much about A Place Further than the Universe. But, I must say, it is absolutely phenomenal. It is, hands down, the most inspiring anime in existence. The basic premise is a high school girl wanting to do something significant in her high school life. I won’t say anymore because, again, I don’t want to spoil this anime, and I recommend you check it out if you need inspiration in your life. Let me just say that it is now an aspiring goal of mine to visit Antarctica.
Number 12
Plastic Memories
I made a whole analysis on the previous post so go check it out. But for a quick recap, the life lesson I learned from Plastic Memories has permanently changed my behavior for the better. I found it to be the saddest anime I have ever watched.
Number 11
Steins; Gate
Once again, I have already made an analysis on Steins; Gate, but this time I only covered the first episode. I also ranked Steins; Gate a 10/10 so that must mean that the rest of this list must contain masterpieces. But to be honest, that is not really the case. You see, to me, even if I consider something a masterpiece, the enjoyment factor plays the most significant role in ranking high on my list. For example, I found Death Note to be brilliant, but I really struggled to enjoy it and therefore, it is not ranked that highly. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed Steins; Gate, but I just enjoyed the rest of these anime way more. Anyway, if you want to see why I loved Steins; Gate so much and why I find it so brilliant, check out blog post 4.
Number 10
Berserk (Manga)
Almost everything I found In Berserk is brilliant (except its adaptations, that’s gas station toilet). Guts is a 10/10 protagonist, Griffith is a 10/10 antagonist, the cast is a 10/10, the story is a 10/10, AND THE ART!!! Holy shit!!! I can actually picture an entire museum dedicated to each panel of Berserk.
Again, the only reason this anime is not any higher is simply because I enjoyed the others on this list so much more. However, I am yet to review any analyses on it so there is a possibility that it will bump-up several places higher when I truly understand the brilliance behind it. Great read though!
Number 9
Haikyuu
I LOVE Haikyuu. Each season gets progressively better and better. It has a lot of controversy around it because of its fan base and because it’s a sports anime. But to be honest, I find Haikyuu to be a better shōnen than My Hero Academia, Black Clover, Jujutsu Kaisen, Demon Slayer, and most other modern shōnen anime. It has its amazing moments, its cast is amazing, the character development is amazing, the themes are amazing, and the antagonists are amazing. I am not bluffing when I say that the antagonists in a Volleyball anime are better than the antagonists in many shōnen anime (I’m going to develop haters before I can even develop fans). I plan on making an essay on what most shōnen strive for yet fail to achieve, and Haikyuu somehow delivers.
Number 8
Oregairu
Best romance. Hands down. Oregairu, or SNAFU, or My Teen Rom-Com is Not What I Expected (yes, so many titles) is a masterpiece in its own right. If you are a guy and you watched Oregairu, don’t act like you didn’t imitate Hachiman a couple times. He is a beautiful protagonist, which most of us guys relate to. His inner monologues result in us treating them as gospel. The sub-text is confusing as fuck, but end up making sense in all sorts of ways once decoded. Yukino is best girl, but man I love Yuigahama almost just as much. The general enjoyment I got out of Oregairu is so far through the roof that I once forced myself to stop watching it so that I could savor the show a little more. It is a little difficult to get into at first, but you will most likely end up enjoying it.
Number 7
Re Zero
This is the most recent addition to the list. I often don’t add anything new to my list; I just switch the places between some of them. But ever since season 2, Re Zero jumped significantly in rank. It is the best anime of 2020 (including sequels), and I enjoyed each episode to the max. I was considering adding Re Zero to my top 10 since the first half of the second season finished, but I was a bit hesitant because I am easily affected by recency bias. But my love for Re Zero would just not die down: my love for it grows after each episode airs. It is the only anime on this list that I watched weekly other than One Piece. I actually prefer watching a series I love weekly rather than binging it all, except for One Piece, pacing is constipation (slow and painful). Other than the vast enjoyment I got out of Re Zero, the main reason it made it to this list is because of the light novel comparisons I watch. Aninews is my favorite source. He compares the episode to the light novels, mentioning what was left out and further describing the emotions and thoughts of the characters. He tends to release the “Cut Content” videos a week after the episode airs, but the content and quality are incomparable. I found the videos to be so amazing I am basically just as excited for the weekly videos as the Re Zero episodes themselves. If you love Re Zero, the Cut Content series is a must watch.
The fantastic details and emotions the light novels are able to portray are stunning. I decided to read the light novels recently, but the only issue is that I am very short on time. But for each novel I complete, I will release a post on it.
Number 6
Mob Psycho
Although I said I found Haikyuu to be better than most modern shōnen, Mob Psycho is hands down the king. Its quality far surpasses all modern shōnen and a lot of older generation shōnen too. Funny thing is, I believe Mob Psycho’s primary genre is slice of life, not shōnen. I also believe it to be the best take on an overpowered protagonist. One of my favorite things is that Mob, who is the strongest esper we have seen, seems to be so weak. That is exactly how he should be portrayed; he is still a child with mental challenges that he is constantly trying to overcome. The themes that Mob Psycho explores are some of my favorites. The animation is a bit weird at first, but after watching it, you suddenly realize how brilliant it is.
(Honorable Mentions)
Attack on Titan
I am going to get a lot of hate for not including this in my top 5, let alone my top 15. Attack on Titan is still releasing episodes, so that opinion may change soon but let me be clear about one thing: Attack on Titan is a masterpiece. It is absolute greatness. The hype and enjoyment I get out of Attack on Titan are out of this world. But, a) the enjoyment feels a bit short-lived for me personally. It is a fantastic week after airing, but I tend to forget about it the next. b) Attack on Titan is simply not my type of show. Again, I do love Attack on Titan. Again, it is a masterpiece. And again, it may bump up a bit after a few episodes release, but as of now, Attack on Titan isn’t in my top 15.
(Honorable Mentions)
No Game No Life
Similar to One Punch Man, I thought No Game No Life was an anime for senseless fun and enjoyment. But then I watched the movie. The movie is canon to the light novels, but it is irrelevant to the plot and only contributes to the understanding of the world. However, since I watched that movie, I felt the world of No Game No Life to be more realistic. Of course, a world where games resolve all sorts of conflicts like war is ridiculous. But after watching the movie, that ridiculousness somehow turned to reality. The world of No Game No Life became fascinating to me, and what seemed like dumb games began to turn into political machinations.
(Honorable Mention)
Magi & Yona of the Dawn
All I have to say about these two anime is that they seemed to be very fascinating premises and concepts, but the anime sadly stops for both. I am considering reading the manga for both of them sometime soon, so this list may change once I do.
Number 5
Hunter x Hunter
If you like shōnen, I don’t see why you would hate Hiatus x Hai—I mean Hunter x Hunter. The only thing it slightly lacks is a strong main cast, which many people like anyway. Otherwise, absolute perfection. They have most of the best villains in all of anime: Hisoka, Chrollo, Meruem… How can you not love Meruem? And the way he parallels with Gon but in the opposite direction: just perfection. The arcs are hard to rank because they are all perfection in their own right. The best power system in anime is nothing short but perfection. If it weren’t for the Hiatus, it would be ranked fourth. I doubt it would scratch my top three.
Number 4
Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood
I know I kept saying perfection when talking about Hunter x Hunter, but I actually believe that Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood is the perfect series (Note: I am not saying that no one can love it and that it has to be your #1; obviously there are preferences. I’m merely saying that it perfectly crafts what it is trying to portray). The only two arguments you can bring is that the beginning is weak. But if you watch the 03 version, there are no issues whatsoever, in my eyes. Keep in mind, when I say it is the best, I mean from a narrative standpoint. Yes, the animation isn’t the greatest, and the gags are kind of bad, but from a general narrative standpoint, it is the best writing I have ever seen. The plot was brilliant and well-crafted. The world is beautifully bound by their power system: alchemy. The philosophical discussions and themes it explores always have you thinking. The characters are very likable and are all top tier characters. The mysteries keep you in a cycle of confusion and excitement. Since I love science and chemistry, alchemy was so fascinating to me. This show is definitely well-deserving of the number one rank in My Anime List.
Number 3
Kill la Kill
After listing a lot of the best anime/manga with the best stories and narratives, I can see why someone would be upset that I brought up Kill la Kill. This one is certainly the odd one out. However, remember me mentioning that the enjoyment factor is the biggest decision maker in my list placement? Kill la Kill gave me the most enjoyment out of all the anime on this list, even more significant than the obvious #1. I didn’t find anything to be all that brilliant in Kill la Kill, and I can completely understand if someone hated this particular show. But there was something about Kill la Kill that made me feel nostalgic in a weird way. It also gave me one of the weirdest yet most immense feeling of satisfaction I have ever felt. I love Kill la Kill.
Number 2
Konosuba
Okay yeah, this one is also the odd one out, but it is a little more acceptable. I find Konosuba to be the best comedy anime of all time. Not necessarily because it is the funniest anime (I think it is the funniest but comedy is subjective), but instead because, unlike most comedies, like Nichijo, the characters in Konosuba are absolutely brilliant. Kazuma is one of my favorite characters of all time, Megumi is best girl, but I still love both Darkness and Aqua. Their interactions are absolutely entertaining on both a comedic scale and a general enjoyment scale. Their assholeish-type relationship reflects my relationship with my friends (we are complete assholes to each other, but we also love one another).
Not only that but from the comedy focused anime that I have watched, the plot in this one is actually delightful. The Konosuba movie is my favorite movie of all time, right after A Silent Voice.
Number 1
One Piece
If you read a couple of my previous posts or recognized my profile picture, you probably knew that One Piece is my favorite anime of all time. My love for One Piece is so extensive that I would rather forget all my experiences with anime than forget my experience with One Piece. One Piece inspired me and changed my life. Not in the typical way where I learned a life lesson from the story like Plastic Memories, but simply because I found the writing to be so brilliant. So it was more that Eiichiro Oda, the author of One Piece, inspired me. The characters are the best I have ever seen, the villains are well crafted, the world-building is literally the best in all of fiction, the build-up is fascinating, the questions from the mysteries somehow keep piling over, the symbolism fleshes out aspects of the anime even more, the backstories make characters more relatable and understandable, the general dynamic flow of the world feels like reality, the themes it explores are great learning experiences, the originality never ends, the hype moments keep you energetic for more, the foreshadowing is so phenomenal to the extent where it shouldn’t exist, and the general planning of the story makes it obvious how amazing of an author Eiichiro Oda is.
This series has been airing weekly for nearly 22 years now, the manga for 25. How in the world is Oda able to create this monster of a story, planning certain elements a decade or two in advance? This is brilliance. This is beauty in writing. And I want nothing more than to create a masterpiece of my own.
Final Notes
Emotional, I know. I believe my list here is a bit diverse in terms of genre: shōnen, seinen, romance, comedy, sports, slice-of-life, and mystery. I think it’s a great thing to widen your horizons a bit by exploring various types of genres. Anyway, there are many anime I haven’t watched that could easily replace and dethrone some of the anime on this list. I plan on watching and reading Hajime no Ippo, Gintama, Vagabond, Oyasumi Pun Pun, I”s, etc. I heard these anime/manga are considered the best for their respective genres by many people, and I will probably finish reading and watching these anime/manga in about six months. So I will make a top 15 anime list once again around that time.
If you have any questions or you want to discuss something, feel free to ask in the “Ask Me Anything” tab on my Tumblr page.
#anime#animelove#otaku#animeblogpost#animelist#manga#mangalove#onepunchman#history's strongest disciple kenichi#plasticmemories#a place further than the universe#steinsgate#berserk#haikyuu#orgairu#re zero#mob psycho 100#attack on titan#no game no life#magi#yona of the dawn#hunterxhunter#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#kill la kill#konosuba#one piece
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spirit never dies | 5.6k
"the legends tell stories of a goddess by that name,“ the priest admits quietly. “but those are old, old stories, too fantastic to be entirely true. they do speak of how to find her, though.”
jordan leans forward eagerly. “how? how can i find her, where has she been?”
the priest holds up a hand to ward off his questions. “i can’t tell you what i don’t know. all the stories say is that there is a man who lives in the clouds, and that he is the only one who can restore the goddess. some of the legends seem to indicate that it might be the captain, but i can’t say that for certain.”
"the captain?“ jordan asks, because that has always been his title, and yet it is a fairly common one. still, though.
"an ancient hero, who lived during the dawn of the gods’ reign. he was the most powerful warrior ever known to recorded histories. alongside the first champions, he helped bind the primordial darkness and seal it away,�� the priest replies, gesturing grandly. “the priest of that time didn’t keep extensive records, but the captain was important enough to write of.”
"and i have to go find him?“ jordan adds. “i have to go find an ancient warrior who lives in the clouds, who may or may not actually exist?”
the priest shrugs. “if you want to find ianite, then yes.”
jordan goes.
he saddles a horse and follows what the priest has told him; he crosses the desert until he reaches the sea, and rows out toward two separate chains of islands until he reaches the place he has been told to go. it’s a wooded, untouched island, with nothing built and nothing dug.
but if he squints, there is a faint shape in the clouds, far off in the distant heights. of course. the captain lives in the clouds.
he builds his scaffolding up into the sky.
there is a small stone courtyard in the thick clouds, hidden by mist and distance. it is lit by strange metal lanterns, low walls standing around the sides. there is a pale archway in the center of the aged stone brick, intricately carved. a massive oak tree curls in one corner, apples hanging from its branches, a clear spring of water burbling between its roots, pale flowers blooming in the little grass left. opposite, there is a firepit, bright and crackling, warm and endlessly burning. one of the back corners holds only a chest and a few necessities, a worktable set up and filled with small tools.
in the last, a man kneels in front of a small shrine.
jordan freezes.
the captain gently places down an unlit candle onto the tiny altar, the space kept so carefully, so neatly. he places down the candle, then stands, then turns.
he is not a tall man, not any taller than jordan himself, but that does not make the way he braces himself against his trident any less intimidating. jordan’s never even seen a weapon like that, not here, and yet the captain leans on it with a familiar ease. he wears a faded red coat, and simple clothes, and a strange sense of power hums in the air around him.
"well?“ the captain asks. "come on. i’m sure you have questions.”
jordan steps forward numbly. the hairs rise on the back of his neck as soon as he sets foot on the stone bricks, though he can’t tell why. the captain smiles at him so knowingly, and rests the trident against the archway as they both step forward.
"you’re looking for ianite,“ the captain guesses, and he nods. "good. i’m glad. it’s terribly lonely, being a follower without a god, isn’t it?”
jordan nods again. “do you know where she is? the priest said you might.”
the captain looks at him for a long few seconds, and then sets his jaw. “i am the only person in the realm who knows where she is. even her brothers don’t know, and they put us here.”
"here?“ jordan asks. "how could they not remember? is she here?”
there’s a pause, and then the captain turns away and steps over to the chest, withdrawing two simply made cups that he fills with hot water from the cauldron beside the fire. he sets them on the corner of his workbench, and adds a couple of small bags, and-
tea. jordan is looking for a lost goddess, and the one man who can help him is making tea.
"this is going to be a very long explanation,“ the captain says, before jordan can do more than open his mouth. "no, ianite is not here, but this is the only way to get to where she is. yes, she is real, and yes, she is alive. no, she was not imprisoned with ill intent, not this time. yes, there is good reason for why i am the only one who properly remembers her. yes, i will take you to her, as soon as you have actually been told what’s going on here, alright?”
jordan blinks. “alright.”
the captain looks back at him, and nods at the ground. “i haven’t got anywhere else to offer you a seat,” he warns, handing over one cup. it smells warm, familiar, like apple and lavender. of course; what else is there in this place?
they sit on the cold brick, and the captain takes a deep breath, wrapping his hands around the still-steeping tea. he has such a strange look in his eyes when he looks at jordan, odd and unreadable.
"i think that the first thing you need to know is that i was her first champion, at the dawn of the gods’ reign,“ the captain announces. "i have walked the void, and i have served her in every realm i’ve known, but in this one i was her first and only true follower. my friends, my brothers, were the same for the other two gods. you have a set of siblings just like them, even if you haven’t realized it yet.”
tom and tucker and sonja are good friends, yes, of course. he wouldn’t go so far as to call them his siblings, though. still, the captain looks so melancholy that jordan doesn’t say a word.
"prior to the gods, there were the light and the darkness,“ the captain continues, forging ahead. "they were the primordial divinities, above and before the gods. and they were constantly warring. as the gods came into their power, with us as their champions, the darkness and light each tried to garner our favor. we all fought for the light, but the darkness was powerful, more powerful than we fully understood. they possessed almost all of us, at one point or another, including all of the gods. including ianite.”
jordan’s heart is in his throat. “and?”
the captain sips his tea. “tell me what you know about ianite, kid. i’m sure you can figure things out.”
"she- we are balance,“ jordan replies hesitantly, and gets an approving nod at the correction. "balance, justice, fairness. and- and the end is the only dimension without a god, so that’s probably hers, isn’t it? she’s the goddess of balance and the end. and i’m being called to her.”
"and the sea, and prophecy,“ the captain adds. "do you dream of other worlds that don’t make sense? of futures that may or may not come?”
jordan leans back a little. “how’d you know that?”
the captain taps the side of his head. “it comes with being her champion. i have done the same thing for centuries, now. we are balance between order and chaos, and justice and fairness in the mortal realm. we are attuned to the seas and to the end. we dream of possibilities. yes, all of that is true. but do you know what else it is that our lady holds a balance between?”
"light and dark,“ jordan guesses. it’s the only thing that makes sense. pieces are falling into place, and he much doesn’t like the way that they’re landing. "but if she got possessed by the darkness, wouldn’t that have broken her balance?”
his stomach drops as the captain points at him. “exactly. the end is also the void. the darkness had an easy way in, and we had no good way to heal her. the only way was to surround her with equal light, and to let them gradually… balance. when we defeated the darkness, there was still a shard of their power controlling her. there was no choice. mianite and dianite built this place together, and the light locked away all other memory of her so that no one could come to interfere. i have been left to guard the way to her ever since. i cannot leave until she is healed.”
jordan stares at him. “and how long will that take?” he asks weakly.
"four thousand years, by my count,“ the captain replies. "or, by an easier estimate of time, until her next champion comes to seek her. and that, kid, would be you.”
"oh,“ he says softly.
the captain smiles. "yeah. it’s a lot, but you’ll adapt well. i’d like to think that i did. have you done anything in her name?”
jordan shakes his head slowly. “not yet, not really. not like tom and tucker have. should i have?”
"you’ve only just found that she was real, so i can’t blame you for not,“ the captain reassures him. "her temple is in the end, but she ought to have one in the overworld as well. we’ll have you light a candle and speak to her, just to formalize the bond, and then we will go to see her.”
so they do. the captain takes a dried twig from the tree that mianite had planted and lights it in the fire that dianite had set, and kneels before the small shrine to light the shortest candles in a practiced motion. the last, newly reshaped from wax four thousand years old, remains unlit.
"there is no one way to pray to her,“ the captain tells him quietly. "you can build her grand temples or worship her in secret. all that she needs is your belief. there was a creed, written by one of her few other followers, and it’s a good one. void and radiance at once, he said. we are the healer, the warrior, whatever nature asks. there is no one right path.”
"you’re sure?“ jordan asks. he has not prayed to anything in his life, except for the sea’s better nature. he barely knows what he’s doing.
the captain smiles, and stands, holding out the crude lighter. "i am absolutely sure of it. come on, kid. i’ll start the portal.”
he takes the slowly burning stick, and lights the last candle. it smells like lilac as the faded wax begins to melt, the scent somehow familiar as he kneels before it. unlike his visits to the temples, this time he doesn’t feel like he’s intruding. it feels right.
words fail, so he just bundles as much emotion as he can into the only thing he knows to say. “lady ianite,” he murmurs, and hopes that she can sense his hope and worry and excitement. what can he possibly say to a lost goddess? only the honest truth. “i’m so glad to know you’re out there. i can’t wait to meet you.”
the captain activates something in the archway, and leads him through with a knowing smile. they step into the end, no obsidian towers in sight, only pale stone and dark void. there are what look like ships hanging frozen in the air above them, still and abandoned. there is strange rubble around them, purple pillars and pale brick, and jordan stares around the place with wide eyes.
and yet the captain doesn’t even blink. no, he closes his eyes and holds out his arms, tilting his chin to face a nonexistent sun. magic shimmers over his skin, softly shining, welcoming. when he reopens his eyes, they are faintly ringed in lavender light. he smiles.
"where are we?“ jordan asks, and his voice echoes around the fallen towers. "what is this place?”
"an old end city,“ the captain informs him casually, leading the way to the edge of the island. "and on the island below us, the place where ianite is waiting.”
he pauses. “below us? how are we meant to get down there? i don’t have any water.” which is his own fault, yes, but he still doesn’t see any way down.
the captain turns to look at him, smiling his strange, sad smile. there is something knowing in his eyes, something pleased and worried at the same time. “it’s a leap of faith, jordan,” he says. it’s the first time he’s used his name. “you’ll get used to it.”
"will i?“ jordan asks. the thought of falling makes his stomach turn.
"for her? yes,” the captain replies. “yes, you will. you have enchantments, the fall won’t hurt. it hardly ever does. there’s a platform just below the drop.”
jordan stares off the ledge. it seems like an endless fall. if there is a platform, it is too dark to see. the void stretches wide and empty below, singing softly, an eerie few notes that set a chill in his bones. it would be a mad, blind thing to do. “straight down?”
"straight down,“ the captain agrees, and sits casually on the edge. "it’s a lot, i know. i had more time before i had to make my first blind leap. i do recommend avoiding a running start, though. makes the landings a bit harder.”
jordan nods. there is something pulling him forward, downward, something deep in his chest that tugs and tightens as he draws nearer to where ianite waits. it calls him, familiar, something that he can almost reach. and yet- “your first?”
the captain shrugs. “my first. that’s a part of it, for us. mianite and dianite, they have had a hundred champions, and they can find a hundred more. chaos and order are not hard to find. but balance, our true balance? she cares for us. all champions must trust in their gods, but we can trust her. we will leap, and she will make sure we land.”
oh. oh.
mianite would probably do it for tucker, if it came down to it in crisis. dianite probably wouldn’t do the same for tom. and yet, here sits the captain, loyal and true after thousands of years. how many leaps of faith has he made? how many landings has ianite caught him with? how strong must the pull in his chest be, begging him to make the jump and race to find her?
"straight down,“ jordan repeats, more to himself than anyone else. the certainty is building in his chest, doubling back on itself and pulling him forward. it calls him, a call that fills his lungs and winds through his veins, wrapping around his bones and weaving through his ribs. it is a call that he has heard all of his life, something he has only hardly realized was a call at all, and now it is louder and clearer than it has ever been. it is a question, and he finally knows where to find the answer.
the captain smiles. "straight down.”
jordan inhales, exhales. he curls his hands into fists until his nails bite into his palms, and forces his legs to move. there will be a landing. he has to trust that there will be a landing. he has to believe it.
and he makes the leap of faith.
there is cold, cold nothing around him. the fall is short, yet an eternity, and fear claws at the back of his throat. he refuses to let it choke him. he closes his eyes and hopes, trusts, and then suddenly his boots hit stone in a flare of protective magic.
the captain lands beside him a moment later, grinning, almost proud. relieved, maybe. “it gets easier after the first time,” he says easily, and gestures up the path to the massive monument ahead of them. it is sheer, dark stone, a seamless face of some strange material. “this way.”
jordan follows him, heart still pounding in his chest. he aches with fear and hope alike. he can feel the half-known call in his chest, and it makes his steps fall a little faster. the captain feels it too, it seems, if the endlessly patient man is this hurried.
they stop in front of the thing, and the captain sighs. “put your hand over the carving,” he says, nodding at the only flaw in the surface of the stone. it feels more like a strange metal when he touches it, but he steps up to place his palm over the designs. on the opposite side, the captain does the same.
nothing happens, until the captain takes a deep breath.
"my lady,“ he calls softly, his voice fond and gentle, almost sing-song. "i’ve brought your paradox. it’s time.”
and then symbols along the edges flare to life, and the carving under his hand warms and burns, and the entire thing starts trembling. slowly, as dust falls, a glowing seam splits the middle of the seamless face, and the two pieces of the doors slide open.
inside, strange things hang from the walls, and metal lanterns cast an odd glow around the massive room. an elaborate fountain burbles away in the back of the room, water flowing beneath the violet glass underfoot. dark stone, gilded with gold, lines the pale staircase that leads up to a sealed platform not much larger than the one the captain has spent millennia guarding.
jordan feels the call pulling him forward, warm and welcoming and persistent, and he is not alone in that. the captain all but jogs up the quartz stairs, and he follows. once again, there are matched carvings. once again, they place their hands over the top. enchantment runes shine bright, brighter, and then suddenly the wall has opened.
there is a woman sitting there, a goddess, wisps of sparkling power just now vanishing into her skin. she sits still and unmoving, though her hair floats of its own accord as if it were underwater. thin golden chains hold her wrists tethered to the armrests of the chair. they look to be impossibly delicate, and yet remain.
the captain steps forward. “my lady.”
ianite opens her eyes, shining violet with power, and smiles. her teeth are a little too long, a little too sharp; she is the goddess of the end, of the dragon. of course she has fangs. “my captain.”
the captain blinks back tears. “i’m sorry, milady. i’m so sorry.”
"captain,“ ianite says quietly, her voice heavy with some soft meaning that jordan doesn’t recognize. "you saved me.”
and those are the words that make the tears slip down the captain’s cheeks. “you saw the other realms.”
"i got glimpses. the light and dark are universal constants; they see all. yes, i saw the other realms. i couldn’t interfere, but i watched. and here i had thought that the isles were overwhelming,“ she agrees with a broken laugh. "they shouldn’t have been. each world looks so small from-”
”-way up high,“ the captain finishes, and they say the words in unison. “i’ve heard.”
ianite smiles faintly, and holds out her hand. “i should be the one to apologise to you, captain. i’m sorry.”
"it wasn’t your fault,“ the captain insists, though he moves closer. she places a hand on his cheek, and he leans into her touch, magic singing between them. she wipes away his tears with a gentle brush of her thumb, nevermind her own.
she cares for us.
"i failed you,” ianite says. “i should have fought harder. i should have been better. i wasn’t, and i am sorry.”
"i failed you,“ the captain insists. "i should have figured everything out sooner, i should have found another way to help you, i should have-”
ianite shakes her head. “you did all that you could, captain, and you did the right thing. there was no other way. i do mean it when i say that you saved me. thank you. and, if you need to hear it, i forgive you.”
something silent passes between them, agonized and relieved. the captain drops to one knee, and the goddess runs a hand through his messy curls as far as she can, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of his head. he says something too quiet to hear.
"mianite is allowed two,“ she murmurs in reply, comforting and quiet. "dianite has furia. i ought to be allowed my captain. i’m certainly not going to cast you aside after all you’ve done for me. you bargained four millennium just to remember my name.”
the captain very obviously tries to stifle his sob. it doesn’t work as nearly well as he hopes. she cares about us, and yet he seems stunned to not be cast aside. there is something here that does not make sense in the slightest.
and then ianite looks up, and beckons to jordan, and it clicks.
the captain was her first champion. jordan is her next. mianite has both tucker and sonja at once, yet the captain had thought that jordan would take his place entirely, somehow. as if jordan, young and inexperienced and idealistic, could ever compare to the captain. the thought itself is laughable.
he steps forward at the goddess’s wave, and she smiles, even as she tries to assure her first champion that he is still wanted and needed. “my boy,” she says warmly, reaching out as best she can with the thin chains still linked to her wrists. “i am so glad to finally meet you.”
"my lady,“ he manages to reply, more than a little overwhelmed. her smile only widens, amused but not mocking.
the captain looks up, tears wiped away, and follows his gaze. "go on, then,” he says. “you’re the only one who can do it. it’s time.”
jordan reaches out to touch the chain, magic humming and burning around it, strong and elegant at once. he means to lift it, to look closer, to find any lock or catch. they are forged from something much stronger than gold, of course, but a better look wouldn’t hurt.
instead, as soon as his fingers brush against the metal, the chain shatters into nothing. he startles. ianite smiles. the captain lifts the other chain, and holds it out to him. that, too, vanishes at his touch.
and the captain makes a wounded noise, pressing a hand over his chest.
"are you alright?“ ianite asks, worried, her hand on his shoulder.
"my tether to the portal,” the captain replies, looking stunned, slowly beginning to grin. “it snapped. i was bound to guard it until you were freed. and now i’m not.”
the goddess smiles, and stands, and helps pull the captain to his feet. “i do believe we’ve met the terms, then, captain. time to see how the world has carried on without us, i suppose.”
the captain shakes his head. “not very well. not the seas, and not the end. and i don’t think dianite is doing well, either.”
she laughs, this lost goddess with violet eyes and floating hair and broken cuffs on her wrists. “then i suppose we get to go and pick up after my brothers yet again,” she says, and sets a hand on jordan’s shoulder. she has not let go of the captain. “you’ll have to fill us in on what you can, my champion.”
"uh,“ jordan replies, which is a great thing to say when asked to do something relatively simple. "i’ll do my best.”
ianite turns her smile to him, and his chest aches with some strange relief, the call no longer pulling so desperately. the cry is now a quiet song, humming soft and warm in the space between his heart and lungs. “that is all i can ask, my boy,” she says, and squeezes his shoulder. “that’s all i can ask.”
thus begins the strangest conversation of his life.
they sit on the steps, halfway down, leaning against the gilded stone. ianite keeps a hand on the captain’s shoulder, and the captain leans into her without even seeming to realize it. jordan watches them, perfectly balanced, perfectly synchronized. their bond is strong, so strong.
but he talks. he talks about the way he arrived, and the other gods, and the other champions. he talks about dianite, and the problems his followers have caused, and about mianite, and the help the others have given him. they ask, and he answers, and sometimes the captain sighs or swears. he’s seen so many worlds, there are bound to be things that overlap.
he runs out of things to say, eventually, but they nod along with what he tells them. the conversation shifts and flows, turning toward all the things that must be done, all the broken things that must be fixed and the lost things that must be found. the realm was once far more than it is now, it seems, far wider and richer than any of the rest of them had thought. ianite promises that she will repair some old relic of the captain’s, and he grins so widely.
eventually, finally, ianite stands. “i will take us to the portal,” she says, and wraps her arms around their shoulders. “hold on.”
it is the same sudden, swooping feeling as an ender pearl, a rush of magic and movement. the world is gone, and then it is back, and they stand just before the pale archway. they step through the dark portal, ianite smiling and the captain laughing, and into bright daylight.
the goddess tilts her face up towards the sun, but shades her eyes. “i forgot just how bright it was,” she comments softly, bittersweetly.
"i’d offer you my sunglasses, but i’m not the one who had them last,“ the captain replies, and she rolls her eyes. he’s doing something at his workbench, shoving something in a bag before shedding his crimson coat and shoving that in too. there is some strange, silvery cloak that he wears beneath it, and he turns to her with quiet hope in his eyes. "could you-”
magic shimmers and flares, and ianite grins. “done,” she says, and waves. “go on, captain. we’ll meet you below.”
the captain checks his bag and chest again, and tightens his grip on his trident, and grins. “absolutely,” he says, and then leaps off of the edge. he doesn’t fall; he glides, soars. his cloak swings open into something that can send him in sweeping circles around the platform, racing through the clouds and whooping in delight. the weariness seems to have fallen from his shoulders, left behind with the shattered chains and empty chamber, left to fall from him and sink into the ocean below.
the captain grins at them, and swoops down into lazy circles. ianite shakes her head fondly.
jordan watches, and doubts. not her, never her, but his place with her. “my lady,” he says hesitantly, and the title feels so right. “am i- should i even-”
"my boy,“ ianite says, glancing down at him. "you are needed, if that’s what you’re worried about. the captain is capable and clever and loyal, yes, but he is not the balance that this world needs. you are. he is my true, needed champion, but so are you. i swear it.”
he sighs, and nods. it feels hollow.
"you’ll understand soon,“ ianite promises, and sits down at the edge of the platform. after a moment, jordan sits down beside her. "look. everything seems so small from way up high. what do you see?”
jordan blinks, and glances down. “some trees. sand. the ocean.”
"the captain would say an island and the sea,“ ianite replies. "he is very good at balance on a grand scale. he knows the struggle between light and dark, and how to mediate it. he sees the older, deeper things that must be balanced, and he takes it seriously. but there are other forces that must be balanced, ones that you are more suited to. the captain tends to balance my brothers by helping both of them in equal measure. you balance them by aiding the one closer to true balance, yet not siding with either. order and chaos weigh on a different set of scales, but both are necessary. do you understand?”
he thinks he might. “one for the grand scale, one for the details,” he says, and she nods approvingly. “because then we balance each other out.”
"yes,“ ianite agrees, and then pauses, sombering. "and also because the captain deserves to rest.”
jordan thinks about the four thousand years the older champion had stood guard, and finds that he can’t argue. the captain has done so much for their lady; it makes sense that she would want to take some of the weight off of his shoulders. jordan just has to be ready to take his share of it.
they teleport down just as the captain lands, and ianite offers to teleport jordan home. he hesitates, because he really doesn’t want to lose another horse, and the captain shrugs. “we could always go the long way.”
"i haven’t ridden in four millennia,“ ianite laughs. "alright. we’ll go the long way.”
the long way means crossing the desert in flight, the captain launching himself into the air from the ocean shore, ianite calmly floating along beside him. as soon as they reach the open savannah, she calls two horses to her, and the three of them ride the rest of the way together. it is a very thinly veiled excuse for both to distance themselves from the platform, but jordan isn’t about to say a word. he’s spent most of his life sailing; he understands the need to travel, more than most.
they approach the last hill, and ianite suddenly sits up. “race you to the ridge,” she tells them, and then takes off. the captain blinks, then grins, and follows. jordan urges his own horse onwards, and wonders what on earth has caught her attention.
there’s a ship in the harbor. that would probably be it.
"the pirates are a little early,“ the captain mutters, and ianite smiles knowingly. she can sense something that he can’t, or else has something planned. she doesn’t say anything, though, even as they start down the hill and eventually dismount. the path to the stables is uneven and unfinished, but neither of them complain. neither of them even say a word, not until they are just outside the walls, and the two figures in the distance both freeze. the captain freezes as well.
one of the figures is tom, of course, but the other is wearing a long blue coat and a truly outrageous feathered hat. they both pause in what they’re doing when they catch sight of them, and yet the stranger, the pirate, shoves his obnoxious hat back and stares.
and then he steps forward, and calls out, "jordan?”
and the captain swears. “tom?” he asks softly, dropping the reins, and then repeats louder, “tom!”
the pirate takes off running, shouting almost incoherently, and the captain does the same. “sparklez, you fucking idiot,” the pirate calls out, which doesn’t make any sense, because he slams into the captain and stumbles in an attempt to stay at least mostly upright, and isn’t paying even the slightest bit of attention to jordan. the two men are clinging to each other, and talking over one another, a jumbled mess of four thousand years and i would have stayed too and i couldn’t have asked that and you wouldn’t have needed to.
jordan stares.
"i’m not getting any deader,“ the pirate laughs, and clings tighter. "karl may have moved in with his boyfriend, mate, but i just stuck around. had a good feeling about heading this way, i guess.”
"sure, captain zombie boy,“ the captain teases, like his face isn’t pressed into the pirate’s shoulder and the pirate isn’t clinging to him desperately.
the pirate scoffs. "that’s all you, cap. i just wander around. you set your course.”
the captain just shakes his head. “must be fun,” he says. “haven’t got much of a course set right now.”
"they’ve got things in hand here,“ the other agrees. he sounds like tom when he speaks, yes, but older. more experienced. more exhausted. "it’s fun, yeah, but not alone. unless you feel like coming with.”
the captain steps back to look at him. “are you kidding?” he asks incredulously. “four thousand years, tom. of course i feel like coming with. but-”
"captain,“ ianite calls out, and he turns back to her, worry clear. she just smiles, and pulls something small and red from her pocket. he catches it easily, and looks back up at her after a few very long heartbeats. "you’ve waited long enough on my account, and you know where to find me. if you want to go, go.”
he stares at her, and grins slowly. he unfolds the red sunglasses with a practiced flick, and sets them in place with very careful intent. “if you insist, my lady.”
"go,“ she says, fondly exasperated, and the captain turns away laughing.
he is my true, needed champion, but so are you.
right.
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In the video game movie subgenre, 2014's Street Fighter: Assassins' Fist is by far the best ever made. Video game movies are notoriously regarded with more disdain than appreciation among moviegoers and gamers alike, the latter in particular usually very reticent about getting their hopes up when one is on the way. Street Fighter itself has been right at the center of the poor reputation of video game movies with its first two cinematic outings, which makes Assassin's Fist that much more of a diamond in the rough.
Born out of the 2010 short film Street Fighter: Legacy, Assassin's Fist first debuted as a web series in May of 2014 before hitting home media as a complete movie. Written by Joey Ansah and Christian Howard and directed by Ansah, Assassin's Fist also saw Ansah portray the villainous Akuma, with Howard playing Ken Masters, and Mike Moh in the role of Ryu (replacing Jon Foo from Legacy). Assassin's Fist was subsequently followed up by the 2016 interquel Street Fighter: Resurrection, and despite grand plans for a Street Fighter: World Warrior series to fully bring the franchise to life, with Suicide Squad director David Ayer to helm the pilot and Ansah even having Scott Adkins as his first choice for Guile, a lack of studio movement led to the rights reverting to Capcom and World Warrior falling into limbo.
RELATED: Avatar: The Last Airbender's Street Fighter Cameo Explained
That's nothing short of a crying shame, given that Assassin's Fist set the stage for the planned story to grow and thrive in the complete opposite trajectory from where the reputation of video game movies currently sits. Ansah has also commented that a need to maintain creative control as showrunner on World Warrior is partly what led to a stall in movement in the series, and given how Assassin's Fist turned out in contrast to other video game movies, and past Street Fighter films in particular, he was anything but unjustified in standing his ground. Their poor reputation notwithstanding, video game movies aren't dying out, as last year's Sonic the Hedgehog, the reboot of Mortal Kombat, and the forthcoming Resident Evil reboot show. Yet despite the success of those films, Assassin's Fist stands apart for a number of reasons.
Street Fighter may be one of the longest-running and most popular video game franchises ever created, but as a cinematic property, it was damaged goods at best before 2010. As one of the first major films based on a video game, 1994's Jean-Claude Van Damme-led Street Fighter was an absurd, campy romp, though it admittedly has amassed a sizeable fan base for those very qualities. Raul Julia's ridiculously unhinged portrayal of M. Bison is as quotable today as it was when audiences first heard him proclaim Blanka to be "A beast born of my own genius!" and even that's just scratching the surface of how much scenery Julia chewed playing the dictator. Street Fighter may have been a trainwreck in adapting its namesake, but no action movie whose villain proclaims "You come here prepared to fight a madman, and instead you found a god?" will want for entertainment value.
Fifteen years later, the Street Fighter brand took another black eye with 2009's Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, which had the opposite problem of being a dull, boring slog through chaotically edited fight scenes and a misguided attempt to use the dark-and-gritty approach on a property with such fantastical elements. No longer was M. Bison a Psycho Power-wielding, muscled up would-be dictator, but an Irish crime boss in a suit and tie played by Neal McDonough. Meanwhile, the titular Chun Li, played by Smallville's Kristin Kreuk, was a generic blank slate heroine who only donned her trademark ox horns and blue outfit from the games once in a fight scene that made poor use of the character's spinning bird-kick, in addition to a vast array of other problems. If nothing else, Street Fighter at least made a worldwide haul of just shy of $100 million, while The Legend of Chun Li only scraped together $12.8 million worldwide. With its first outing going down in history as The Room of video game movies and its second bombing on an epic scale, Street Fighter didn't seem to have strong prospects in movie form.
That perception changed overnight with the sudden arrival of the short film "Street Fighter: Legacy" in May 2010. In just three minutes, Legacy did what many believed to be impossible and delivered a genuinely great live-action take on Street Fighter, and the internet wasted no time in fervently asking when a feature-length expansion of the short was coming. Four years later, it finally arrived in the form of Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist, which had become more appreciated as an epic video game web series prior to the film's release. When it came to its cinematic track record, Street Fighter had nowhere to go but up, but Assassin's Fist was simply a great movie all-around, and the embrace it received boils down to several crucial elements it brought to the table.
Among the many problems that befell Street Fighter and The Legend of Chun Li was the effort both made to split the difference between bringing realism to their action scenes and still making use of the outlandish special moves from the games, with both failing in different ways. The special moves that made it into Street Fighter were more visual homages than the techniques themselves, with Ken's approximation of a Shoryuken and M. Bison's tech-based Psycho Crusher lacking the impact they had in the games. Legend of Chun Li brought more wire-fu into the mix while showing Chun Li developing her Kikoken under Gen's training, but the execution was consistently off, with Chun Li's Kikokens more resembling special effects thrown into a fight scene than a weapon of combat being unleashed.
When it came to Assassin's Fist, by the end of the movie, it'd be easy to believe that one could travel to Japan and actually train in Ansatsuken. Though Assassin's Fist had great action scenes, it was, first and foremost, a martial arts film, taking viewers in-depth into the fundamentals of Ansatsuken alongside Ken and Ryu and presenting the fictional martial art as matter-of-factly as actual kung fu or karate. More importantly, it made the superhuman side of their fighting skills seem realistic in a way that even many Street Fighter fans were stunned by.
Techniques like Shoryukens, Hadoukens, and Tatsumaki-sempukyakus were presented not as superpowers, but as legitimate fighting techniques based in chi (or qi). Though Street Fighter devotees were more familiar with this, it came across as more palpable since Assassin's Fist had presented the training in a fictional and highly ostentatious martial art with the same reverence as one would expect from, for example, the Kickboxer or Best of the Best movies. By the time of Ken and Ryu's climactic sparring match, in which they are permitted to wield the Hado-based techniques of Ansatsuken, viewers were invested in the time and effort the characters had poured into mastering the highest levels of their art. As impressive as it was for Assassin's Fist to portray a martial art like Ansatsuken as something that could be real, it also connected with viewers from another, equally deep angle.
RELATED: Max Cloud Is Scott Adkins Street Fighter (In A Good Way)
Being born out of a gaming franchise with a much more abstract story structure than Mortal Kombat or Tekken, Assassin's Fist was a martial arts epic to the core and one about the tragedy of aggression and excessive ambition leading practitioners astray. Not unlike the light and dark sides of the Force in Star Wars and Anakin Skywalker's fall to the latter, Assassin's Fist centered on the divergent methods of Ansatsuken training: Mu No Hado and the more aggressive Satsui No Hado. At first selling Ken and Ryu on the former as the "purer" method of developing skill in Hado techniques, Akira Koieyama's Gouken swiftly begs Ken to avoid Satsui No Hado and to keep it hidden from Ryu. Gouken has good reason to fear his young students being seduced by the power of Satsui No Hado and its quicker path to generating Hado, seeing firsthand what it did to his brother Goki thirty years earlier.
Played by Gaku Space in flashbacks, Goki's embrace of Satsui No Hado transformed an already unstable rising martial artist with a violent streak into a soulless killing machine. In contrast to Ken and Ryu's exciting and upbeat training montages, Goki's training in the wilderness after his exile from Gotetsu's dojo is more akin to a demonic kind of viral infection. Lumbering out of his cavern home (and now played by Joey Ansah), Satsui No Hado makes Goki into one of the most formidable fighters on Earth, but at the cost of his humanity, transforming him into the murderous Akuma, whose only goal is to slay all who could challenge him as the world's true master of Ansatsuken. Though Togo Igawa's Gotetsu is defeated when Akuma returns, he dies with some happiness, knowing that he trained a student who succeeded in fully mastering the power of Satsui No Hado.
As Ken and Ryu progress in the Street Fighter movie and Ryu shows signs of being overcome by Satsui No Hado, Gouken's knows his brother's inevitable challenge will come soon, leading him to send his young students on their warrior's pilgrimage and prepare to fight his brother to the death at last to spare Ryu Akuma's deadly pursuit. Alongside Ken's longstanding issues with his father and Ryu's troubled inner spirit, Assassin's Fist's story was one of what it really means to become a warrior. To Gouken, the greatest opponent one can ever face is themselves, and to Akuma, being able to defeat all challengers is the be-all and end-all of Ansatsuken. Though he imparts his vast wisdom to Ken and Ryu, Gouken could not pull his brother back from the darkness. Assassin's Fist ends as their final confrontation is about to commence with Gouken all the while hoping that Ryu can fight off the demons that his brother could not.
What finally sealed the deal on the success of Assassin's Fist was the fact that it was able to work on multiple levels for practically any demographic, and not just as one of the best fighting games. Gamers and Street Fighter fans had reason to cheer for a gaming franchise that had seemed all but impossible to do well in live-action hitting the bull's eye in Assassin's Fist. For general martial arts fans, Assassin's Fist also held worth in treating a fictional martial art with the same care as one would accord real-world fighting styles, emphasizing the training as the centerpiece of the story. Just as importantly, it connected with its audience on an emotional level, whether invested in it as a video game player, a martial arts practitioner, or simply a general viewer.
In two and a half hours, Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist rescued the Street Fighter movie franchise with an excellent story and characters that resonated with viewers regardless of their experience or lack thereof with the games, and outstanding training and action sequences that felt real in a way that would've seemed impossible for a martial art involving fireballs and thirty-foot uppercuts. One can only hope that the Street Fighter: World Warrior series gets pulled off the shelf and greenlit. As a follow-up to the greatness of Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist with the same creative team involved, one can only imagine how much it would bring to the world of video game adaptations by the end of season 1.
NEXT: Mortal Kombat 2021 Proves That Street Fighter Reboot Should Be Revived
Why Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist Is The Best Video Game Movie from https://ift.tt/3eS5gnc
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Vile faculty for the hcs
-Oooki!
Starting out with some general faculty hc’s:
-VILE faculty stay in the position until they die or become too old/unable to function as a faculty member (or, of course, leave, but that doesn't happen much lol). When they retire, if they do, they might become teachers at the school to pass their wisdom on, or are allowed to retire in a supervised environment.
- When faculty members aren't working, they teach classes, vacation to homes or favorite locations around the world, or do recreational activities.
- The origin founders of VILE probably only lived a few generations back; the faculty we know and love are either second, third or fourth generation faculty. (With them being in their 40s-50s now). The generation differs, because deaths used to be much higher, before tech got better.
- There has always, traditionally been a spot for each a brains, brawns, and beauty (to balance each other), with two other spots situationally to adapt to the current needs of VILE.
Maelstrom
-Maelstrom is the oldest out of our original fantastic four (Maelstrom, Cleo, Bellum, Brunt). And he shows it. He hairline started receding in college, though it has always been that blonde/white.
-His hair is always greasy and gross looking.
-He has never gone to anywhere hotter than VILE island and cherishes the cold. He does not tan. He burns horribly.
-He had a pet frog as a child and he dissected it when it died. His name was Utbuktning (the frog).
-Favorite candy is, ironically, Swedish fish.
-Favorite animals are spiders and blobfish.
-He could be as intelligent as Dr. Bellum, but he is insane. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results..
-He is completely capable of psychological torture but has yet to really use it.
-He speaks Swedish.
Cleo
-Countess Cleo is the second oldest of the faculty, though no one would ever dare say so.
-Cleo spent her entire life working to be a model, but they turned her down for prejudiced reasons. The rage of being turned down got her into a life of crime.
-She cherishes details and will always appreciate extra touches.
-Cleo suffered from anorexia for a time after her failure as a model. She was able to recover from it, though she still suffers from long-term effects.
-She loves the heat and hates cold and damp places, which is why VILE island is MUCH proffered to the new castle.
-She speaks Arabic but has squashed the accent from her English self-consciously.
-She is incredibly self conscious and believes that her only hope for confidence is looking gorgeous on the outside so no one will dare look in.
-Her favorite “candy” is chocolate (dark and milk).
-Favorite animals are leopards and quetzels.
-Her favorite look used to be animal prints and feathers and such, but this was torn down by the modelling agency that rejected her.
Brunt
-Brunt is the third oldest of the faculty.
-She grew up in a strict, harsh family who abused her. This is where her “never betray family” morals come from- she believes the family is not related by blood, but by how you care for each other.
-She loves the rain.
-Total dog person. Loves puppies and things.
-Favorite animal is, of course, a bear.
-She has incredible strength and the rest of the Faculty have reinforced her side of the table due to how many times she’s smashed through it.
-She has anger issues and is emotionally fairly delicate, using rage and shouting to cover them. She grieved for Black Sheep when Carmen left, and thinks of her as dead, a separate person than Carmen, sort of.
-To her, Carmen is like a devil who took over her precious Black Sheep and must be punished.
-She was originally an overweight, bullied child with a horrible home life. When she couldn’t stand the teasing anymore, she started doing something about it. She worked out and became the strongest in her year, never again letting that slip.
-She has no consciousness when it comes to Carmen, but is otherwise fairly compassionate, like when she gives Black Sheep a cupcake.
-She loves Butterfingers.
-She never found love before or during her time at VILE and was therefore delighted when Shadowsan brought Black Sheep back to the island.
Bellum
-Bellum is the youngest of the faculty.
-Her eyes were damaged and deformed in a failed experiment, which is why she always wears goggles or glasses.
-She is easily the most intelligent out of the faculty but easily distracted.
-She adores cats but is allergic to them, so she enjoys them from the internet.
-She’s ambidextrous.
-She studied to be a few different engineers and scientists, and finally rocket scientist before realizing it was all too easy for her. She became fascinated with the less legal parts of science.
-ADHD!
-She drinks excessive amounts of caffeine, almost 20% of what Player drinks, which is quite a lot
-She has one life and she’s gonna live it. She dresses how she wants to and will do whatever with her hair that she feels like. She dyed the white tuft bright yellow once on a whim and Cleo nearly had a breakdown.
Goodness gracious this took a while. I’ll get to any others tomorrow and maybe Roundabout/Shadowsan.
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Do you remember back in the day when found footage movies were all the rage? No? It was like this: everyone and their mother was trying to make a movie that looked like it was filmed on someone’s home camera, usually to make it easier to do jump scares. There were like twenty Paranormal Activity movies made like this.
Anyway, in the midst of this trend there were some people who were trying to make movies this way that weren’t horror movies, and one of the most critically acclaimed ones was Josh Trank’s Chronicle, a superhero movie that got ALL the praise, to the point that 20th Century Fox hired him to do a big budget film adaptation of Fantastic Four and that didn’t… do well.
Anyhow, _this_ movie’s pretty good.
Our lead is Andrew (Dane DeHaan), a high school senior with problems because his mother’s sick, his father’s abusive, and he’s not good at making friends. He goes to school every day with his cousin Matt (Alex Russell) out of loyalty to the friendship they had when they were young. He starts filming his life with the camera he’s bought for himself. At a party his cousin practically drags him to, the two of them, along with popular classmate Steve (Michael B. Jordan--yes, he’s in this movie) investigate a large hole in the woods nearby. Inside they find a strange object which gives them telekinetic powers.
What follows is the three of them hanging out, developing their powers, and learning all the different ways they can use them. Soon enough, things get out of control, and they try to put limits on their power. And because this is a movie about teenage angst, Andrew starts using his powers for darker purposes as the story goes on and he becomes more alienated from the people around him.
Part of the appeal of the found footage genre is the budget--you can get away with not having too many incredibly over-the-top special effects in the story. There are, of course, special effects in this movie; they’re moving cars and flying before the movie’s out after all. But because they’re mostly things that don’t take too much CGI, being filmed on what’s supposed to be a home camera, any problems you find with special effects can be chalked up to the quality of the footage.
There are also times when I’m kind of baffled about how much is being filmed. Some of the scenes are from cameras that aren’t Andrew’s, which makes it a bit better. Matt is given a love interest who also likes filming everything for the purpose of giving another camera to the characters for the audience to see events when Andrew’s not filming. It mostly works. There are some situations where I have no idea why these characters are filming things--not only is it something that would be really bad to have on record if it’s found by someone else, but they’re moments that the characters aren’t proud of. But that’s just part of the way found footage stories go, I think.
I’m not sure if what we’re seeing is meant to be found footage? It’s not as if I remember there being a title card claiming that this footage was found on a camera somewhere and was being shared, or if this was something the government was keeping hushed up or anything. That’s not a block at all to my enjoyment of the film, I just wondered what, in-universe, this footage is meant to be.
One thing that does somewhat bother me, in a meta sense, is that while this is often described as a take on the superhero genre, and for good reason… this isn’t really a superhero movie, because at no point do the protagonists consider using their powers to save people or fight crime. They use it all for pranks and tricks. Which isn’t unrealistic, I don’t hold it against them or this movie, but it is a bit strange that the trio of teengers get superpowers, and they never talk about becoming superheroes. They do discuss using their powers more responsibly, but that’s it.
Hm.
Andrew’s mostly the star of this story. And he’s the most complex character, so it works, though of course this story kind of takes exactly the turn you expect it might from the emo abused kid with angst getting superpowers after failing to fit in. But just because you’re not surprised by the turn of events, doesn’t mean it isn’t well told, you know?
And it does a good job of making you, the audience, think that maybe, just _maybe_ everything will turn out great for these three friends, even if the missteps along the way are all screaming and waving red flags that they won’t. Because you see Andrew seemingly triumph several times before crashing down even harder,
But you know Steve gets the short end of the stick here. Of course, he’s the best one out of the three, the Ace, so of course what happens has to happen for the story to go that way. But I am a bit uncomfortable that out of our characters, the black guy is the one this happens to, who has the least development. Yeah, he’s the coolest one, and doesn’t adhere to black stereotypes. But it’s the spirit of the thing, you know?
At least Michael B. Jordan’s career soared after this movie, so maybe I shouldn’t feel too bad. He’s pretty great in this movie. Even though he’s THE popular kid in the school, he always comes across as friendly and wanting his friends to have a good time. Mind you, there’s some usual teenage boy BS in there, but given he IS a teenaged boy that’s clearly intentional, and once people start getting hurt he clearly shows concern and tries to help.
Dane DeHaan does a great job in the lead--creating a character who is both very pitiable, but you can also see him being rather nasty and cruel without losing sight of how he got there. I hope you don’t ever really get to the point that you agree with everything he does, but still sympathize. He’s sort of like a teenaged Magneto, although with less of a good backstory (I mean, it’s hard to beat _the Holocaust_ as a villain backstory).
Alex Russell as Matt is maybe the weak point of the three leading cast members. Which isn’t to say that he’s bad, but I feel as if he gets the least...he sticks out the least. As a kind of average guy who is trying to fit in, and sometimes screws over his cousin in doing so, but finds a way to bond over their powers--Matt’s not a bad character, but his arc is less focused than Andrew or Steve. Part of it is that he’s not the one with the camera, but towards the end his love interest has a camera and I kind of don’t understand what draws him to this girl.
Still, he feels responsible for what happens, and he does his best to see the good in Andrew no matter what, so I still find him an admirable character.
If you like the found footage format, or wanted to find an example of the medium that wasn’t a horror movie, this film’s definitely worth checking out. If you like superhero films, and want to see something that’s a very dark teenage angst version of the origin story, you’ll like this film. Even if that doesn’t sound particularly appealing, I’d recommend giving it a try just to see something a bit different.
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Chel please tell us about your special interest
Uh-oh!! You’ve unlocked...DOUBLE INFODUMP
Okay but actually I suspect you know about Dragon Quest XI if youve been here long enough (especially if you’re Vinny, which I suspect you are). If not: it’s a really fantastic story that takes the Chosen One trope and does some REALLY neat things with it, and the characters are utterly fantastic. It’s the first thing I’ve experienced where I wasn’t even close to done and was just overcome with I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT THESE CHARACTERS. It’s also just. Difficult to discuss without delving into spoilers. (It’s out on like every major console now!!!)
Which, uh. I guess a3! is also difficult to describe without spoilers, but most of the, Well, That, stems specifically from backstory?
Hang tight gang I have been rehearsing this daily. Also I’m gonna get...real personal here.
A3! is TREMENDOUSLY difficult to describe for me, because it’s like....it’s not an otome game, cause that implies you can romance the characters and you can’t do that in A3!, but it’s kinda...adjacent? Like the vast majority (if not all) of the major characters are clearly into the MC, you just can’t, do anything about it. Which is fine tbh. The romance really isn’t the focus.
Nah, nah, you’re into A3! for the glorious found family trope, the alarmingly nuanced characters that are designed to fit stereotypes and yet are so much more than that, the - god what a time for the cat song to come on - oh my god i never actually said what it is.
So, short version: Act! Addict! Actors! is about a failed actor who winds up attempting to rescue her father’s failing theater, rebuilding its actor base almost from the ground up with a smattering of varied and interesting actors, there for love of the craft or just needing somewhere to go.
Except literally every fucking one of them is, in some way, shape, or form, a bit, shall we say, messed up by whatever life has thrown at them. The reasons are varied - family issues, personal issues, the list goes on - but every single actor who joins Mankai Company is struggling with something, missing something that they inevitably find in acting or with each other. None of them is wholly restricted to the trappings of whatever role they may seem to fill, and it’s wonderful.
And also, as an attempted actor myself..it’s very familiar. The MC (henceforth known as Izumi) is outright stated to be an extremely bad actor, terribly hammy, and while I wouldn’t necessarily go that far in describing myself, I didn’t really get many big roles in high school, and I wasn’t cast in anything in college, aside from an understudy gig for my capstone class that I, uh, wasn’t actually intended to go on for at any point (There was one day that one of the four girls I was understudying couldn’t come in, and i was told “oh, we’ll leave that spot empty, we couldn’t alter the costume in time” despite the costume being...basically just a leotard and tights, which i knew for a fact had never been ordered for me, because I divvied them out to the girls I was understudying), and a non-speaking part on stage for the same thing. So I can really relate to the feeling of wanting to be part of it so badly but being turned down at every turn. (IZumican laugh about it now, but I can’t yet.)
But...it’s nostalgic. It taps into so many wonderful aspects of theater, and not just the ones everyone thinks of! The costumes, the sets, the marketing (no one thinks of marketing!!!), the budgeting...there’s a throwaway line where Izumi asks the folks in charge of lighting to soften it a bit to make the scene work better, and it made me SO happy to see that being taken into consideration! And the anime, at least in that regard, does such a good job with it, to the point that ninety percent of the time if they’re showing the actual shows that the actors are performing I am losing my shit over the tech work in it. (THE LIGHTING IN R+J!!!!)
(The anime adaptation is a bit...I guess contentious? in the fandom, because it takes each little arc and condenses it into six episodes, which is pretty hard to do. And I kinda suspect it’s not the most well-budgeted? But honestly I really do enjoy it and it made me appreciate a lot of things about the characters and story a lot more than I already had!)
So I guess with a3!, it’s very...come for the cute boys and/or the theater, stay to see some really lovely interactions and CHARACTER GROWTH!!! And so from the minute the energetic sweetheart of a series posterboy gave us his surprisingly-sad backstory, I fell hard and, well, here I stay.
Also TBH “write till you pass out, or finish writing, hand it over and THEN pass out” is a fucking MOOD and I never stop laughing at it, sorry tsuzuru!!!!
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Reviews: The Stand: Captain Trips
Halloween Havoc rambles on!
I decided to read a Stephen King Classic via it’s comic book adaptation from Marvel Knights 4 and Afterlife with Archie scribe and future Riverdale showrunner Roberto Aguirre-Sarcasa. A deadly plauge sweeps across the US that kills in it’s wake while the goverment tries to cover it up. Because that’s not at all terrifingly close to home.
But as this pandemic creeps around the US we meet 5 dispearte people with a part to play in what the world becomes after the end: Stu, a hard nosed man who finds himself imprisoned by the government since he was next to patient zero for the outbreak and lived. Frannie, a young woman who finds herself pregnant and dealing with her disaproving mother and the babie’s less than ideal dad. Larry, a would be one hit wonder whose come home to new york to dry out and to let Stephen King go on for several pages about how much he fucking hates new york, because that was important. Nick, a deaf and mute teen drifter who finds himself subbing for a kind sherieff who sadly got the disease. And Lloyd, a dumb criminal who finds himself in jail after a robbery gone bad. And waiting in their dreams and the shadows for his acendency, the walking dude, Randall Flagg, evil itself. Waiting paitently for the soon dawning time of his ascendency. Spoilers and the review itself under the cut.
So yeah i’m back to doing some comics reviews and I.. genuinely missed it. I did. I just needed to reajdust from doing one issue at a time to doing full arcs as well as get it in my head to do one. And while I didn’t INTEND to review these, I ended up liking this series, at least for this mini, so much I couldn’t resist diving into them critically.
As for why I decided to read these comics it’s simple: i’ve never read the Stand but always wanted to. No real complex motives: I’ve liked some adaptations of King’s works with It: Chapter One being the reason I finally started watching horror movies after a good decade or two of avoiding them like the plauge, finally breaking down my squeamish cowardly barrier and opening up a greater world. Granted the sequel was a giant balloon parade of disapointment, but I can get to that some other day. Point is I like Stephen King: he seems like a decent enough guy, has had some good adaptations of his works and even the bad ones have some fun. Like this trailer for maximum overdrive where it’ shard to tell if it’s his tragic drug addiction or just him that’s responsibile for that wonderful delivery.
youtube
So yeah, with little options to read the stand and the series out of print, I decided to dive into the comics because they seemed accurate enough from the way reviews had them and frankly before horror films, I really got into horror through comics, with my gateway there being Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’s afterlife with archie. Many of you may know RAS, as i’m calling him so I don’t horribly mangle his namem, as the guy behind riverdale, sabrina, which is partialy based off his own sabrina comic and kathy keene, but before he became Archie’s golden boy, he was a writer at marvel, hence these mini series, and wrote the wonderful fantastic four series marvel knight’s 4, which I might cover at some point, which followed the four as they lost all their money and had to live like us normal folks. It’s really fucking good stuff and easily one of the best runs on the characters period. Afterlife with Archie is no slouch either so pairing both guys who brought me to the terrordance of horror seemed like a match made in heaven.
So that’s where we Stand, pun intended: I haven’t read the stand or watched the mini series, only know or remember some spoilers, and am walking into this blind but eager to see what happens. So if your willing to join me on the ride and on my fresh perspective, here’s Stephen King’s the stand by RAS and Mike Perkins.
Now since, at least at this early stage, The stand is divided up by the characters and what their going through as the virus hits, i’m going to cover this character by character, with an additional section on the progress of the pandemic itself and the government response.
Before I dig in I will say there is something I really love here: The Pacing. NOw I will grant it’s slow: By the end of this mini we only JUST meet big bad Randall Flag as the pademic and it’s goverment coverup both kick into high gear.
So why does it work? Simple: The characters. By opening up as the end of the world is happening instead of shortly before or after like most post apoclayptic stories, and focusing on each of our surivivors we get a real sense of who our heroes were before society collapsed as it collapses, and get to really care about them and WANT to see how they react to the end of the world and what they become. It justifies the series, and the book’s , massive length by using that giant stretch of time to get us invested in the cast and really want to see where this story goes. It’s really good storytelling and holds up really well. So with that out of the way, we can dive into the meat of the story itself. And before we can get to our protaganists, let’s get to the plauge itself
THE OUTBREAK
The story starts with a soldier breaking out of quarantine after getting hit with a miltary virus, infecting his wife and child while trying to go awol and dying.. thus starting the plauge known as Captain Tripps. It crashes into a small town gas station, where we met Stu, one of our heroes, more of him later and starts to slowly grip the nation as the book goes on.
The Goverment handles making a plauge that will end up dooming the human race.. by pretending it dosen’t exist, supressing the media, and cordening off whole cities and taking them over. An early attempt by the media to get the story out get the reporters shot horribly, and we get to see all the gore in this version. it’s not plesant but it’s a well done sequence. We get an even worse sequence where the general in charge of the facility captain tripps came from seeing tons of dead bodies in the cafeteria from their sceintests failed attempts at a cure, one of which is horribly bloated, and then shoots himself..... yeah I got nothing. Just.. wow. Good horrible stuff.
So yeah tha’ts basically how it goes: the goverment can’t figure out how to stop it and tries desperatley to cover it up or downplay it instead.. and why yes our own goverment’ sbungled handling of coronavirus, with our own PRESIDENT, in the hospital right now, does make this extra chilling to me thanks for asking!
It SOMEHOW gets worse with the final issue as various media outlets rebel against the goverment supression with tv, newspaper and radio all reporting on this despite the risk.. that comes true as the goverment STILL dosen’t learn their lesson and kills them all and we end as the virus only gets worse and the president urges everyone that it’s all fine despite teh mass bodies dumped into the sea and to just take some juice. Just.... just.....
Yes exactly thank you Jon. It’s good stark horrible stuff, I just have no more commentary other than please make it stop. I will say however it’s well done stuff that lets the creeping dread seep in until it really hits fever pitch at the end.
Stu Redman:
As I mentioned, we meet Stu very early on, as he’s on site when patient zero crashes his car into a gas station.
Unfortuntely for him this gets him and hsi town swept up to a goverment black site where as seen above, he has no time for the bullshit their feeding him and is in no mood to actually cooperate till they actually talk to them. Which.. yeah it’s entirely resonable: the Goverment is holding him here against his will, refusing to tell him anything and asking to get samples from him. How does he know their not just going to shoot him the second their done with him? He dosen’t and given what we’ve seen this version of the goverment, and hell the real goverment do, yeah. Maybe blind trust needs to be earned rather than demanded. Just saying.
Stu gets his answers, that everyone else they brought in and thus his whole town is dead, and they don’t know how to stop the virus.. and that they don’t know where it came from but as the above makes clear, that’s a load of garbage. So Stu relcutantly and grumpliy coperates. He’s basically if Ron Swanson got freaky friday’d into nick millers body.
Stu eventually gets taken to a diffrent facility after the jounalist thing and becomes even more coperative, as they start bringing in an armed guard every time someone visits him.. and Stu starts to get even more wary of this shit as it’s very obvious he’s become expendable, he uses those exact words, and by the end of this mini is plotting his escape. He also has dreams.. of iowa cornfields.. and a sinster man in black floating above them.
I like stu a lot: A hard nosed down to earth guy who dosen’t take shit, but is clever enough to know when to bite his tounge and bide his time, easily sussing out both why he’d been moved to a new facility and just how disposable he now is: He’s a man who will fight when needed but knows when to hold back and wait for it. He’s also a nice protaganist ot be our main viewpoint in the goverment sections and is easily my second faviorite. My faviorite is coming shortly.
Frannie Goldsmith:
Frannie is a college student who just ended up pregnant by her boyfriend Jesse. She dosen’t want to marry him despite him offering.. and given his reactions to her telling him this are to whine “but you were supposed to be on the pill”, which she was and gave plenty of reasons why that may not have worked, and then give a loud , what was probably groaning “Aw hell” before proposting.. yeah good call.
Frannie’s dad takes it well as he’s sad, but he understands and loves his daughter and wants to support her. Her mother.. is a selfish nightmare who bearates her for it, berates her husband, who usually backs down as Frannie is used to at this point, for standing up for her and then just for added terrible points physically abuses Frannie, who is PREGNANT, by slapping her hard. I know that can’t hurt the baby but fucking really.
Thankfully Frannie’s father decides even if he wont’ divorce the crone to stand up to her at least, and points out she really hasn’t been the same since Frannie’s brother died, igorning her up until the pregnancy and calling her out. She leaves in a huff defeated, and Frannie leaves to go stay at a hotel for a bit while tryign to find somewhere to stay, with her mom not wanting to talk to her and her dad insiting she come around.
Given her mother had signs of the virus earlier.. she dosen’t. She dies, Frannie, having come home to help her is devistated and we actually get a devistating if confusing bit as she hugs her dad and talks about eating the pie. Something lost in translation but the visuals cover well enough. And that’s where he story ends, though with a montage in the last issue, which is all we get of htem as the issue is focused on Flagg and the pandemic response instead. Not a bad move mind as it’s easily the best issue of the series, just a note.
Frannie is a likeable enough character, a strong woman who knows what she wants, wants to keep her baby and has decent enough family drama.. if well worn at this point but fraknly the book was written all the way back in the late 70′s so this is forgivable as it probably wasn’t AS common as it is now. Frannie has plenty of personality but her plot is one of the less intresting as it’s pretty easy to tell where it’s going in comparison to the other, more intresting plots going on around it. That said you still connect to frannie enough for it to not feel like a drag on the story and to feel important, so it’s not too bad a section.
Larry Underwood:
Larry Underwood is a musician whose also a bit o fa scumbag, using people and drugs like theres no tommorow and riding high, in both senses, off the sucess of his single.. a title that sums up the 70′s in a nutshell “Baby Can You Dig Your Man?”. Just.. it sounds like a parody song from SCTV... so in other words good job on making a goofy 70′s pop hit title stephen. Respect.
But yeah a friend of Larry’s seeing he’s hit bottom suggets he had back to new york. Larry bunks with his mom who worries it’s too late for him to change from the scumbag he is now and that only a great catstrophe could do that.
So yeah obviously it’s gonna, but we’ll likely see that as the series goes on. So mostly Larry’s segment is one incident of him having a one night stand that seems a bit overblown.. I mean it is scummy of him but her screaming “your not a good guy and what not as seen above just seems narmy as hell and utterly stephen king in terms of writing.. but the scene of him trying to convince himself she’s wrong after is really strong. Larry’s self doubt, self hate and wondering if he’s that bad is really strong stuff and really godo character stuff showing he is an asshole who uses people including his own mom.. but also genuinely DOSEN’T want to be that person but dosen’t know how. We also get a crushing bit where he calls for his friend who helped him only to find out not only is the guy in the hopstial but it’s getting bad. As the chapter ends larry looses his mom too.
The one real weakness of this bit is King goes on a bit of an author tract that’s kept via larry’s narration, which by the way I love how the books narration is kept REALLY damn well via the caption boxes, it’s really nicely done and a way to help keep some of the bits from the book while still taking bits out where necessary. It’s a nice touch. But back on point yeah.. Larry REALLY hates new york.. which to me translates as Stephen King REALLY hating new york, and wanting you to know how much he hates new york, how much the city was festering back then, how much of a crap hole it is, how it farts turds during thunder storms etc. IT’s likely trimme down from the text but boy does it feel unecessary> We get it, 70′s pre clean-up intiative new york was REALLY fucking awful. You didn’t like it there. But if you want to rant about new york for several paragraphs..
Like I get that he’s TRYING to make the point Larry dosen’t like new york and dosen’t fit in at home but instead of trying into his character arc entirely it just feels like an excuse for King to ramble about his hatred of new york. I’ts easily the weakest part of this mini series and I only think it was kept because RAS, as made clear in the question and answer sessions with marvel.com in the back of one of the issues, is a huge king fan and wanted to keep as much as possible. It’s the one time I feel the comic, and the story it’s retelling, really stumbled that bad. Thankfully with that rant over we can get onto my faviorite character
Nick Andros:
Nick is easily has both the most unique narriatve and is the most intresting character to me. A mute and deaf teenage drifter, he goes from town to town finding work.. and between towns get beatup by a bunch of local assholes the ringleader of which is your standard Stephen King bully because depending on the kindness of strangers in a stephen king story is just asking for a beating.
Though oddly enough that ends up working as Nick finds himself in a jail cell with the local Sheirff and after getting a pad and paper, not only verifies he was working with someone in town, and who he is , but also who beat him down. And oddly for a king story since while he DOES have a heroic sheirff i’ve heard of, most of his law enformcent seem to be corrupt hicks at best, this one.. is a nice guy who makes sure the assholes that assaulted nick are brought in despite the ringleader being his wife’s nephew and knowing he’ll get no sex for a while because of it.. the narrative points this out because we needed to knwo that apparently.
But said wife happily takes Nick in along with the Shierff while the sheirff takes 3/4 of the assholes in, with said nephew booking it out of town. But soon our kindly sheiff takes ill from the virus and Nick gladly fills in for him as his new deputy to make sure the idiots at the jail don’t starve. He continues this throught the book even as he looses his new family tragically due to the virus.. and soon his prisoners catch it too and clearly aren’t long for the world.
Nick is a THROUGHly likeable character. Just from body laungage it’s clear there’s a bit of an edge and a bit of harshness to him.. but he’s mostly just a good kid who goes out of his way to make sure three assholes who tried beating him to death get fed and watered, and wants to do the right thing despite the world crappign on him constnatly. He’s throughly intresting and his disablity is nicely portrayed, with him being portrayed as a normal guy who simplyg ot dealt a really crappy hand and does his best with it. Easily the best part of this mini, closely followed by the last issue but we’ll get to that in a second. We have one more character to get through.
Lloyd Henried
This bit will go fast since he’s only in two sections this mini but Lloyd is a dimwitted crminal who clearly gets a thrill from the crime sprees and murders he and his pal have done but also dosen’t murder inscreimatley. Unfortunatley his partner in crime does and Lloyd gets arrested after his first scene and hsi friend gets his face gunned off. Lloyd is last scene with his lawyer teaching him to lie. He’s basically just a dumb criminal at this point who likes thrills. Not a lot to dig into comapred to the other characters soooooo let’s move on to our final focus character and the focus of the final issue only, but hitned at before...
Randall Flagg
The breakout character of the piece, one of king’s most loved and most used villians. The Walking Dude. The Devil HImself. I had high expecations of this character with all that hype and he did NOT disapoint.
Flagg is a mysterious supernatural drifter who dosen’t even know how long he’s existed but is evil itself. He makes anyone he passes feel nervous, glass crack and everyone uneasy, yet when needed can slip in and out of any extremist or hate group easily and hands out pamphliets for whatever will get people riled up the most, good cause or bad. and easily worms his way in and out of heavily armed groups and into women’s beds. My words do not do kings words put onto the final issue justice. They jsut impart he is evil, he is here, and he is about to RISE. And you’d better be prepared to run. After a few issues of only appearing in one dream.. we meet our antagonist and he is a lot. Throughly engaging, throughly creepy and throughly unesettling we get a full sense of who flagg is a drifter who SEEMS resonable enough when talking but just.. gets under your skin, yhou just feel.. WRONG around him. This one sequence REALLY got me excited to see what this bastard does. Not a lot elsse to say throughly engaging creepy impressive villian who lived up to the hype and star of one of the best single issues i’ve read. No notes.
So yeah overall.. I really love this story so far. Obviously I have a LONNNG way to go and 5 more mini series to go so I hope you’ll join me but the art is good, the decisions fantastic and the writing adapted well, clearly compressed but in a way that works. A fantastic way to read the story for a newcomer such as myself and if you can find it somehwer,e read it. Ill continue with it as hte month, or months probably, go on. Until then check back on my blog for regular ducktales coverage and some more halloween fun, hit up my asks if you have some comics you’d like to see me cover, and until next time, happy halloween.
#halloween#halloween havoc#the stand#stephen king#randall flagg#horror#marvel comics#roberto aguirre-sacasa#mike perkins#stu redman#nick andros#frannie goldsmith#larry underwood#comic books
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How I Letterboxd #5: Will Slater.
Talking mullets and other manes with the man behind the internet’s definitive ‘exploding helicopters in movies’ catalog.
“Man cannot live on helicopter explosions alone. Even I need some occasional intellectual nourishment.”
A London-based PR man by day, by night Will Slater has a thing (and a podcast, blog and Twitter account) for movies that feature exploding helicopters. According to his Letterboxd bio, it’s “the world’s only podcast and blog dedicated to celebrating the art of exploding helicopters in films… as well as shaming those directors who dishonor the helicopter explosion genre”. As Will tells Jack Moulton, he also loves film noir, Wakaliwood, masala movies and much more. Just don’t get him started on the one action movie cliché that never fails to disappoint.
Sylvester Stallone takes aim in ‘Rambo III’ (1988).
First things first, have you ever had a ride in a helicopter?
Will Slater: What, do you think I’m mad? Of course I’ve never flown in a helicopter! If I’ve learned anything from watching hundreds of films where helicopters spectacularly explode, it’s that they are a singularly dangerous form of transport. You never know when Sylvester Stallone is going to pop up with an explosive-tipped arrow and blow you out of the sky.
I’m going to say the words ‘the definitive action hero/heroine’. Who pops into your head first? No runners-up. Go.
Snake Plissken, no question, for a number of good reasons. First, there’s the look: that eye-patch, the beaten-to-hell leather jacket and Kurt Russell’s lustrous mane of hair. Second, there’s the attitude: his contempt for authority, the drawled sarcasm and all-round bad-assery. And I also like that he doesn’t have any special abilities. Action heroes generally tend to be either musclebound slabs of beef—Arnold Schwarzenegger, Stallone—or martial arts specialists—Jean-Claude van Damme, Jackie Chan—Plissken is just a pissed-off, angry dude who’s trying to stay alive. He’s very relatable. Plus, I’d argue he pretty much invented the whole anti-hero formula that rules our screens today.
Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken in John Carpenter’s ‘Escape from New York’ (1981).
When did you start your podcast and which film got you into looking deeper into the topic?
It was while watching the cheesily bad Cyborg Cop that I first had an epiphany about the weird and wonderful ways in which helicopters seemed to continually explode in movies. But the film that convinced me to start documenting the phenomenon was Stone Cold. If you’re not familiar with the film, it was an attempt to turn former gridiron star and mullet-king Brian Bosworth into the next big action star. It goes without saying that Stone Cold did not transform ‘The Boz’ into the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, but the film wasn’t a total failure as it features a helicopter explosion that is as brilliant as it is gloriously stupid.
And that was the prompt to start the Exploding Helicopter. I launched the website in 2009, and the podcast followed 2015. Since we started, our aim has been a simple one: to celebrate the strange and inventive ways that helicopters explode in films.
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Motorcycle crashes into helicopter in mid-air, ‘Stone Cold’ (1991).
When did you join Letterboxd? What are your favorite features here?
I’ve been around since 2013. As for the features, the stats are very cool. When you dig into your viewing history, you can learn some very revealing things about yourself. For example, I generally like to think I have a commendably broad taste in film, and watch only the most important and influential works from every decade, genre and country. But then you look at the data and find you’ve watched Thunderball nine times in the last five years, so maybe you’re not as cool as you thought.
We noticed that your profile faves are low-key and explosion-free, given your theme of choice. Why these four and not Die Hard four times?
Man cannot live on helicopter explosions alone. Even I need some occasional intellectual nourishment, between watching whirlybird conflagrations. There’s a little bit of nostalgia tied up in The Ipcress File. I first saw it as a kid, and it made a big impression on me. It’s very stylishly directed, has a great John Barry score and a star-making turn from Michael Caine. I’m a big film noir fan and Sweet Smell Of Success is a beautifully sour tale of cynicism and manipulation. To borrow the words of Burt Lancaster in the film, it’s a “cookie full of arsenic”.
Jean-Pierre Melville is my favorite director and Le Samouraï was the first of his films that I saw. What Melville does so masterfully in this, and his other crime films, is distil the elements of film noir. Basically, he takes the genre’s iconography—the gun, the trenchcoat, the fedora—and familiar plot tropes—the betrayed assassin, the heist gone wrong, the criminal doing one last job—then elevates them above cliché into something almost mythic. And what do I really need to say about Taxi Driver, other than it’s a masterpiece?
Now you say you shame directors who dishonor the art of helicopter explosions? Which directors did you dirty?
Well, one of the biggest names in our hall of shame is Tony Scott. For a man who specialized in hyper-stylized, pyrotechnic-filled action movies, he flunked every helicopter explosion he filmed. In our eyes, one of the most egregious offences you can commit is failing to show the helicopter explosion. And in both Spy Game and Domino, old Tony cheats the viewer by having the chopper fly out of sight before it explodes. Now, I can accept such visual chicanery in a low-budget film, where they presumably don’t have the money to stage the scene, but what’s Tony’s excuse? If you look at his filmography, at one time or another he’s wrecked trains, planes and automobiles in spectacular fashion. But for some reason, he repeatedly couldn’t be bothered to give us a satisfying chopper conflagration. At a certain point, it starts to feel like a personal slight. Tony, what did I ever do to you?
In your immortal words, “a film is always improved by a helicopter explosion.” When has this been especially true?
When you see lists of worst-ever directors, Uwe Boll is a name that always seems to turn up. And, according to the internet, one of his worst-ever films is the video game adaptation, Far Cry. Now, I’m not going to try [to] convince you that the film is a neglected classic, but it does have a very imaginatively staged exploding helicopter scene. It’s too convoluted to explain here, but take my word that it wouldn’t be out of place in a Fast and Furious movie.
What about the unsung heroes; the stunt artists, the pilots, the pyrotechnicians, the VFX wizards who have worked on numerous iconic action moments, all of whom deserve a shoutout?
Personally, I don’t understand why the Academy doesn’t have a stunts category. But if they did, I’d be lobbying hard for Spiro Razatos to get the first award. These days, he works as a stunt coordinator on the Fast and Furious and Marvel films, but I’d like to draw people’s attention to some of his early work. Back in the nineties, he did a lot of work with PM Entertainment films, an independent company that made low-budget action films for the home video market.
They might not have had much money, but they put every cent on the screen with glorious, raucously inventive set pieces that were often more spectacular than big-budget Hollywood offerings. And remember: this was in pre-CGI times, so every death-defying detail was absolutely ‘real’. Go back and watch films like The Sweeper or Rage, and you’ll can see why Super Spiro has now graduated to these more prestigious gigs.
Narrow this list down for us: which is the ultimate most spine-tingly epic “we got company” movie moment?
As you may have gathered, I do like an action movie cliché. When you encounter one in a film, it’s like meeting an old friend. And one of my favorites is when someone uses this classic line of dialog to signal that a car chase or a gun battle is about to start. I’ve heard people deliver the line in all sorts of ways–funny, scared, angrily and often just badly. But if you want spine-tingly, then you can’t beat Harrison Ford in Star Wars. He drops the line during the detention-block scene after failing to bluff an imperial officer. As soon as he says it, John Williams’ iconic score kicks in. It gives you the ‘feels’ every time.
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“Boring conversation anyway.” Han Solo and Chewbacca in ‘Star Wars’ (1977).
And which action movie cliché can you simply not stand?
Stop it: my hackles are raising just thinking about it. For me, the trope that never fails to disappoint is the ‘reluctant’ hero being convinced to take up arms and join the fight. You know the scene. Invariably, the hero has hung up their spurs and is living a bucolic existence ‘off the grid’, when a gruff buddy shows up asking them to risk almost certain death by taking on ‘one last job’. Now, dialog is rarely an action film’s greatest strength, and these beefcake actors generally are not cast for their dramatic chops. Which means we get subjected to the same perfunctory and uninteresting scene over and over again: “I told you, I’m out the game”, “Goddamnit, we need you”, “OK, I’ll do it”. These scenes just never work and are never less than painful to watch.
Which up-and-coming action director are you most excited about?
In terms of up-and-coming action talent, I’d pick the director Stefano Sollima. I first noticed his work on a couple of TV series: the fantastic Italian crime dramas, Romanzo Criminale and Gomorrah. The way he composed shots really stood out, and it was clear he had a very cinematic eye. He rather reminds me of Michael Mann. He’s now on Hollywood’s radar and got to direct Sicario: Day of the Soldado the other year. And he’s lined up to make a Tom Clancy adaptation with Michael B. Jordan. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.
Have you witnessed the glory that is Wakaliwood—Ugandan DIY action filmmaking—three of which make Letterboxd’s official top ten films by black directors? Which international films do you feel out-match Hollywood?
I love the Wakaliwood films I’ve seen. It’s fascinating to watch action films from around the world and see their different styles and flavors. Recently, I’ve been trying to investigate Indian cinema and, in particular, what are known as ‘masala movies’. These mix action, comedy, drama, romance and dance numbers into one big, crazy, entertaining mess. They’re a unique experience. If you want to check one out, I’d suggest Dhoom 2. It’s bananas.
Can you believe there are only two female directors represented in your exploding helicopter list? Do you believe that’s due to systemic or thematic reasons?
You have to say it’s systemic. Men have dominated filmmaking for more than a century. Until women have the same opportunities to direct and make films as men, it’s impossible to know what their interest may or may not be in blowing up helicopters. [Will has previously written about the search for “true gender equality in the world of exploding helicopters”.]
To address the elephant in the room, how has Kobe Bryant’s unfortunate death earlier this year changed the way you look at these scenes?
Obviously, I appreciate that Kobe Bryant’s death was very shocking and a tragedy for his family and fans. But basketball really is not a thing on these grim shores, so it didn’t register with us unenlightened Brits other than [as] a sad headline about a US sports star.
What was your most anticipated movie event of 2020 before Covid-19 pushed every tentpole back?
That’s easy: No Time To Die. I’m a huge Bond fan and as soon as tickets were available, I booked myself in to see it on opening day at an IMAX. But if the Daniel Craig era is synonymous with anything, it’s lengthy delays between films.
Freerunner Sébastien Foucan in the opening scene from ‘Casino Royale’ (2006).
What’s a fond memory you have in theaters related to the Bond franchise?
I remember going to see Casino Royale. I was excited, but also nervous to see it. The Brosnan era had ended with the risible Die Another Day: invisible cars, kitesurfing and, worst of all, John Cleese’s awful Q. Since that had come out, we’d had Mission: Impossible, Bourne and the Triple X films, so it wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility that Bond might be finished. Then the first ten minutes of Casino Royale happened. And while that outstanding parkour-inspired chase was terrifically exciting, it also hit me like cinematic Valium. I suddenly realised I could sit back and relax, safe in the knowledge that 007 was going to be just fine.
Are you planning on returning to theaters as soon as you can? When would you feel comfortable?
I’m taking a wait-and-see approach. I’d love to see films back on the big screen again, but I want to know more about how cinemas are going to maintain social distancing inside.
Finally, what three Letterboxd accounts should we all be following?
Why not give Todd Gaines, Jayson Kennedy or Fred Andersson a follow? If you’re interested in genre films that are a little off the beaten trail, they’ll likely all steer you towards some hidden gems.
#letterboxd#how i letterboxd#letterboxd member#letterboxd community#cine#film lover#exploding helicopter#chopper fireball#action films
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Not Horsin’ Around — Thoughts on: The Secret of Shadow Ranch (SHA)
Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI
Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.
Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Unique to this game is a section in between The Mystery and The Suspects titled The Historical Background, as the background in SHA is so important and takes up nearly a third of the whole game that it deserves its own section.
If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.
These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: SHA, non-spoilery mention of TRT, non-spoilery mention of CAP, non-spoilery mention of DED, non-spoilery mention of SPY.
The Intro:
Secret of Shadow Ranch is one of those games that invariably ends up in every “Best Of” list of Nancy Drew games. Unlike another mainstay of those lists (watch this space for the next meta, where I will Make Enemies), SHA actually deserves to be on it without reservations.
Unlike a few other “Best Of” games, SHA doesn’t actually do anything new with its story — there’s no beat, no bare-bones plotline, no mystery that hasn’t been done in the previous 9 games – but it just does it more completely. There’s more effort, more time, more thought, and more care obviously put into SHA (which itself is one of the most popular Nancy Drew books) than a lot of the other games. This isn’t to say that the other games are bad, just that SHA has a uniquely huge amount of care and detail put into it.
I should take the time to note here that I don’t believe that SHA is the best Nancy Drew game of all time, nor is it my favorite game of all time. The first designation shifts according to time, and the second is wholly dependent upon my personal style of play, so elevating a game based on that is less than pointless. When I say SHA deserves to be on “Best Of” game lists, it’s because it genuinely ticks all the boxes to make a fun, challenging but not hard, atmospheric, and honestly engaging experience.
Any introduction to Shadow Ranch would be incomplete without addressing the largest visual change it brings: the full-screen visuals. The bulky 2/3-of-the-screen interface is retired here and instead a (relatively) sleek task bar is added at the bottom, allowing SHA to look, as well as feel, bigger than any other game that came before it. Not only does this result in a smoother visual (especially as Nancy turns around) style, but it allows for more visual puzzles (significantly, the puzzle at the end with the stones marking the correct (and incorrect) path for Nancy to take).
While I won’t go too much into the Historical Background (as it’s significant enough in this game to get its own section in this meta), it’s impossible to talk about SHA without mentioning its wonderful historical setting and story. There are few other games so entrenched in the past (SPY, GTH, and TMB are a few others that fall into the same category), and it’s a joy to play through.
All in all, SHA is an honestly just wonderful, solid game that owes much of its well-deserved praise to a fantastically executed historical background, solid (if not showy) characters, and enough simplicity on top of its moving parts to encourage the player to go steadily and happily through the game.
The Title:
As far as the title for this game goes, they stuck exactly to the book to ensure that readers would know that one of the best-loved mysteries was being adapted to video game format, which was a pretty good idea.
The Secret of Shadow Ranch is also just a pretty great title; it indicates a mystery, a location, and sort of tells you the type of mystery you might get based on the location (historical; revolving around the Wild West). It’s not fussy, and not overly evocative, but it’s also not a “haunting” game (despite the ghost horse on the cover), so the simpler title is acceptable.
The Mystery:
Nancy’s just off to visit Bess and George’s Aunt Bet and Uncle Ed in their ranch (Shadow Ranch, to be exact) when the two cousins get delayed (why they didn’t all fly together…well, the plot demanded it) and Nancy arrives alone and immediately gets sucked into the strange happenings at the ranch.
It wouldn’t be a Nancy Drew game if something wasn’t hinky right off, naturally.
Uncle Ed and Aunt Bet are currently in the hospital after Ed was bitten by a snake that showed up in their bedroom, so Nancy’s left to deal with the ranch hands as she tries to help the ranch to run smoothly and investigates exactly how Ed might have gotten hurt.
The game ditches the plot of the original book and takes two-thirds of the plot of the revised yellow hardcover version, focusing around a strange phantom horse that seems to leave accidents and misfortune in its wake and around the historical plotline of the famous outlaw Dirk Valentine’s hidden treasure.
While it would have been cool to deal with the original mystery of Shadow Ranch — involving a missing father found with amnesia and an NPC in the form of another of Bess and George’s cousins — HER didn’t really have the resources nor the writing to deal with such a personal plot yet, and they instead (wisely, in my estimation) chose the plots that could be dealt with in what had become typical Nancy Drew PC Game fashion. This decision made Shadow Ranch one of the most tightly plotted of the early games and allows the player the time (and space, with the new layout) to explore the beautiful Southwest visuals as a trade-off.
As is commonplace with Nancy’s “vacations”, she soon finds herself embroiled in two mysteries where everyone has motive and opportunity, where the “means” belongs to everyone, and where no one will tell her the truth until she exposes them. Because Nancy can’t really contact the only victims of the accidents (Bet and Ed), there’s overall less to do on the phone in this game and Nancy has to make do with four suspects.
As far as mysteries go, Shadow Ranch isn’t the most involved that HER has ever attempted, but it is fairly complex for the Classic and Expanded games, and it takes pride in being easy to follow and engaging. The Dirk Valentine plotline specifically is tightly plotted, well-delivered, and…well, as perfect as you could get, really.
The Historical Background:
Normally, the Historical Background of a game is covered in the Mystery section, but SHA’s historical background is so far at the forefront of the game (not to mention so well done and memorable) that it would be a travesty to try to include it in another section.
The history behind the game centers on an outlaw, Dirk Valentine, and his forbidden romance with the sheriff’s daughter, Frances Humber, who lived at Shadow Ranch. Frances’ father Meryl disapproved of the match and relied (unbeknownst to her) on his daughter’s knowledge to find and arrest Dirk.
Dirk is then hanged for his general outlaw-ery, but not before mentioning a treasure that he wanted to give to Frances in a letter to her before he died. After his death, Frances left her father and headed east, leaving Meryl regretful of hanging Dirk and wishing to have his daughter back with him again.
The only remaining bit of Dirk left behind is his treasure, which Frances has no interest in and tells her relative about and which the Wild, Wild West finds an intense desire in. Since then, many have tried to find his last legacy to Frances, but all have failed…
Dramatic ellipses aside, the best part of this background isn’t that it involves outlaws and treasure and family drama and all that — it’s that it is all told via narrated letters and diary entries that Nancy finds hidden around the ranch. While this story would be effective on its own, the fact that it’s told to Nancy (and via Nancy, the player) makes it even more gripping than it would be on its own.
The biggest reason why the historical background gets its own section, however, is that it’s one of the best historical backgrounds in the entire series, and certainly the best of the series so far (even though I prefer TRT’s, SHA’s is told more effectively). SPY is up there, but it cheats a bit by having its backstory tied directly to Nancy, so I won’t count it as high on the scale. The only other game (once again ignoring SPY) that gets quite as somber and effective without being melodramatic is CAP, which presents the backstory through another character and thus works just as well.
(As a side note, I’m not including DED here, since it’s less “historical background” and more “incredibly recent background”.)
The only thing that this background sours for me slightly is the present-day plot, as it’s not quite as tight, but that’s to be expected since that plot has to last the whole game. That, and the fact that it makes me bitter that we don’t get all of our historical background narrated for the rest of the series.
The Suspects:
Tex Britten is the surly ranch hand that assumes authority while Ed and Bet are at the hospital. He dislikes “city folk” (though after ASH, one can hardly call Nancy anything but “upper-middle-class suburban folk”) and trusts Nancy so little around the ranch that she’s not allowed to do anything without him hovering — except for be responsible for the horses’ nutrition and survival.
Not really circumspect, but I wouldn’t trust this 18-year-old who claims to be a friend of the family’s with anything fun either.
Gruff, rough, and difficult to deal with, Tex is set up as the “mean” suspect from almost the first moments of the game (though after Dave shows up at the airport in assless chaps), and he plays the part par excellence. Never is Tex any warmer than barely civil, and he doesn’t need to be “reformed” by the end of the game because, well, he’s just grumpy.
As a suspect, Tex is a pretty good one, and honestly my preferred suspect. Not because he’s mean or gruff or anything like that, but because it would have been a great analogue between him and Mary and Frances and Dirk (more on that below). While it would be boring to have the “mean suspect” be the culprit every time, at this point in the series (with only MHM boasting a “mean guy” culprit) it would honestly count as a subversion, and would add a bit of depth to his character beyond “mean guy with a soft spot for the women in his life”.
Shorty Thurmond is the cook at the Rawley’s ranch and is voiced by HER’s resident pinch-hitter and man of a thousand voices Jonah Von Spreecken. He’s a money-grubbing lazy cook with more interest in yelling at those helping him than in doing actual work.
Shorty, to no one’s surprise, is the culprit (what?? the get-rich-quick guy wanted to get rich quick????), and does make for a decent suspect in that you could say he’s “lazy” because he’s actually working hard to find the treasure. He’s creepy enough to set the player’s teeth on edge, but ultimately not sinister enough to really convince the player that he’s up to no good.
Dave Gregory, snatcher of panties and quickener of libidos, is not only the Figure of Sexual Awakening for fans who came in after FIN, but is also one of the canonical “love interests” for Nancy — aka, boys who show an interest in her while she alternately doesn’t or feels-like-she-shouldn’t reciprocate. Nancy can even not really tell him about Ned, for bonus “good girlfriend” points (points that really start appearing from TRN on). His aunt is the relative that Frances told about Dirk’s treasure, and so he’s been looking during his downtime on the ranch.
He’s also fairly smitten with Nancy to the point that he helps her the entire game, asking nothing else in return. But, since I’m not really commenting on realism right now (in any of its forms), I’ll let that one slide.
As a suspect, Dave doesn’t ever qualify. The game never sets him up to be suspected, his “gotcha” moment with Nancy is so piddling as to be inconsequential, and he aids and abets Nancy the entire time. It’s probably a good thing, honestly, as Tex and Shorty are set up from the start to be the most suspicious, but I do think it would have been better to at least play along with him being suspicious until the one-third mark, especially since Mary is such a non-player as well.
Rounding out our cast is Mary Yazzie, who sells art and stones near Shadow Ranch and is banging Tex like a drum in Secret. Her area of interest is in the Pueblo people, and has tried repeatedly to purchase some of the land of Shadow Ranch in order to, according to her, look for more petrified wood artifacts. Ed and Bet refuse to sell, however, which sets them at odds with Mary.
As a suspect, Mary isn’t fabulous. Other than her offers to buy part of Shadow Ranch (and her taste in men), there’s nothing sitting against her. The game doesn’t bother to really implicate her in anything, and she more serves a helping role (if not The Helping Role). Her presence does open up the game to include Native American themes and stories, but other that that Mary’s really only there to make the numbers fit.
While Mary is the only female suspect, she’s not the only woman in the cast, which includes Charleena, Frances, Aunt Bet, Bess, and George (of important/speaking roles, 6 females to 8 males, by my count, making this an average-sized cast).
The Favorite:
Charleena Purcell is a delight and a treasure here and one of a small number of reoccurring characters. I’m a sucker for author characters since they’re usually slightly unpleasant (and I value that in a character who gives information to a detective), and everything from being a great phone character to her voice acting is A+. Jonah Von Spreecken’s additional role as Charleena’s assistant should also get a mention here. Honestly, what can’t that man do?
A big — possibly the biggest — thing that HER gets so, so right in this game is the voice acting. While Lani is her usual early-game self (quasi-invested and missing some native inflection, but not yet the incredibly old-sounding voice that happens a bit further down the line), Rob Jones’ Joe Hardy, Jonah Von Spreecken (as mentioned above), Max Holechek’s Meryl Humber, and above all Gary Hoffman’s superlative Dirk Valentine elevate this game far above the sum of its parts.
It’s a very lucky thing that this game was released before the (misguided, in my estimation) feature that lets you skip dialogue, because if you could, I truly believe that SHA wouldn’t be half as memorable or well-beloved as it is. Hearing Dirk’s assurances and Meryl’s increasing sadness is far, far beyond anything that reading them could give you, and I honestly believe that HER knew this and planned accordingly.
Sure, it was more expensive to record that dialogue rather than simply read it, and additional voice actors had to be hired, and more time had to be spent — but the end result is the main takeaway from SHA, and that is to the game’s incredible benefit.
My favorite moment in the game, to no one’s surprise, then, is the reading of Dirk’s letters. It only takes a few sentences to get wholly invested in him Frances, and their love story. It’s the height of Americana to root for the outlaw of the Wild, Wild West, but it’s taken one step further with Dirk who has been given some of the best lines in any HER game.
It’s a simple moment, but effective, and it stays with me not only every time I play but even when it’s been a few years since I’ve cracked open the game.
My favorite puzzle is the horse-trivia-on-a-horse one, as it tests the player’s thoroughness in exploring and reading, and also is incredibly hilarious to see Nancy riding around a pen while an angry ranch hand spits questions at her like he’s investigating her for murder. It’s fun and side-splitting in its absurdity, and I do love good-natured absurdity.
The Un-Favorite:
For a book famous for introducing Bess and George, I can’t help but feel that it really was a missed opportunity not to include them more in this game. Sure, it helps Nancy to be on her own so that she can investigate without being hamstrung by anyone else, but this was a perfect opportunity to be able to play as another character for a while and to see more of Bess and George than witty puns and suspiciously prescient clues, so I will count this missed opportunity as a least favorite thing in the game.
*metal piece picked up* *metal piece put down* *metal piece picked up* need I say more??
My least favorite moment in the game is the “Heeeeere’s Shorty!” bad ending. It’s breathtakingly unnecessary, creepy as all get-out, and makes you stare at a Shorty face that looks like it was rendered with Windows 1 running on oatmeal for processing power.
My least favorite puzzle in the game isn’t actually the metal maze I mentioned above (though that would get an honorable mention, definitely) — it’s the arrowhead hunting. If you’re looking all along (and know to be looking all along), it’s not too tedious, but if you have the bad luck to miss one or two along the way, what follows is a half hour of pouring over every spot in every location to find them. Generally, my least favorite things in games tend to be those that are essential yet easily missable, and the arrowheads fit that bill exactly.
The Fix:
So how would I fix The Secret of Shadow Ranch?
First, I would honestly remove the Hardy Boys from the game. They don’t get the time they need to shine, and the game is busy enough to not need them. Move them to CUR and you get at least two characters I care about in that game.
As mentioned above, I would make the connection between Mary/Tex and Frances/Dirk clearer (rather than sub-sub-subtext) and switch him and Shorty’s position as the villain.
Make Shorty guilty of being exactly what is he is — a man obsessed with get quick rich schemes — and have some of the incidents be his fault (the snake is a good one to hand to him, as any cook in the desert on a ranch knows how to catch and cook snake) so that he has room to look for the treasure, but maybe stop him from finding a few key things (like the secrets in Dry Gulch) and take out his bank robber connections (which is easily the silliest part of the game). Maybe Tex uses him and slowly siphons off information that Shorty leaves lying around until he knows All.
Meanwhile, Tex is a gruff man who cares about his sister and his girlfriend and is thankful to the Rawley’s about his job…but he’s also a man who needs money to pay for his upcoming engagement/wedding to Mary Yazzie, who’s helping support his sister, who’s a bit angry that the Rawleys fired his sister, and who figures that if anyone can find a cowboy’s treasure, it’s another cowboy who knows the land like the back of his hand.
His expertise with horses makes it easy to coat one in phosphorus and safely release and get it back, his omnipresence around the ranch makes it easy to sabotage, and his natural reticence gives him a reason never to have an alibi — he just doesn’t like to be around people. Tex is, in fact, so perfectly set up to be the villain that it doesn’t feel like a twist that he’s not, it feels like a mistake.
For the finale, while Shorty chasing Nancy down is scary enough, the image of Tex doing so is even worse. This fix strengthens motive, adds multiple narratives, and spreads out the guilt enough to make most characters interesting. It would also give Mary more of a presence and add in the possibility of her being an accomplice (which I would love), and firmly sets Nancy at odds with three-fourths of the cast.
I’d also include Bess and George more heavily in the game. Since they handle the beginning of the Charleena Purcell line already, I’d have that whole storyline shifted over to them. You play as either Bess or George finding the novel, calling Nancy, and taking the lead to wheedle their way in past Charleena’s assistant (definitely a Bess-type job, but George attempting it would be hilarious with Bess whispering instructions) and get the information Nancy needs. The airport itself would be easy enough to limit to a small explorable area, and HER could even pass the contacting Ed and Bet to their actual nieces.
These changes would expand the game slightly and add to the runtime, but it would also help SHA to be even more of a landmark game and to be an appropriate end to the era of Expanded Games.
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Marvel Movie Night: X-Men The Last Stand
So - when this came out, I worked at a theater. We got to see an early screening of it. When we walked my mom turned to me and said -- that wasn’t good, right? I had to agree.
So. Here we are. I feel like I have a very complicated relationship with this film, because I know a crap ton about X-Men and knowing more means this film feels like even more of a mess than maybe a general audience would know. It’s hard to really comment on whether or not this is a good film. It’s definitely far more watchable than the Fantastic Four, or the other Marvel related films coming out at the time that weren’t Spider-Man. However, it doesn’t hold together too well overall.
The biggest issue this film has is that it’s trying to shove too many story lines with too many mutants into one film, and it kind of fails at everything that it’s trying to do.
But first - a comment on production. It was kind of a mess (though, I’m super fascinated that there was an original draft of this that Emma Frost played by Sigourney Weaver. Damn, I’m sad we didn’t get that). Directors switched, writers switched, actors were no longer under contract -- and I mean, most productions have things change, but all of this resulted in this film getting pulled in fifteen different directions, and I do thing that did have an effect on the final result.
So - let’s talk about what this film is trying to do.
The Dark Phoenix saga. One of the most iconic X-Men stories ever told, and it is for a reason. Having just reread it last month, it’s egregious to me how much this movie misses the point. Look - I’m fine, in general, when other media changes original stories for adaptations. Film is not comics, but I do think you need to understand the essence of the story in order to do it well in an adaptation. And The Last Stand just doesn’t understand the Phoenix story.
See - in the comics, it’s a lot about manipulation, control, and power - and how Jean Grey is being manipulated, but breaks out of it with her extreme power. (There’s also a ton about crazy space forces, but I understand why they didn’t go there, it’s... uber complicated.) But, the point is that this ends up being an internal story -- how Jean deals with the power once she’s broken free from the manipulation, how how her relationships with various X-Men help her cope with split identity. At the end -- with her friends behind her, she decides to end her own life, and her sacrifice is make sure she doesn’t destroy the universe. And it’s very beautifully told.
There are three things (major) things I have issue with in this film -- 1. With the exception of Cyclops, in a limited role, and slightly Xavier, Jean’s relationships with other people are just not explored enough to have an emotional impact; 2. At no point is Jean ever back in control of her own agency. Xavier manipulates her, then Magneto, then she just stands around for a long time until Wolverine finally kills her. It cheapens everything about Jean Grey and agency the original story has, and I hate it. 3. The story in the movie seems to service the goddamn Logan/Jean Grey love story that I hate in the comics, and I hate it more here - but I’ll spare you the diatribe.
The other thing, though... The animated series got this right -- but it could because it had time to. See, the comics drew this whole story out for years, and it’s emotional pay off works better over a long period of time, which a two hour movie just doesn’t have. And it’s especially hurt when it’s truncated due to a whole other plot in the film. Which leads me to...
The Cure - the second plot of the film. Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men at the time was a big hit, so they decided to use this story. It’s not a bad story -- it has to do with the big political element that the X-Men always are dealing with, and that’s fine. But, because it can’t be the full focus, it too feels overstuffed. (Really the film wants to be this plot, and should have never done Dark Phoenix in the first place.)
Unfortunately, because they need to shoehorn in Magneto, the brotherhood, the Morlocks, and every other mutant in the X-Universe (except Gambit for some reason) - this turns into a mess, where Magneto is his Silver Age, scenery chewing self, and a whole lot of people punch each other because that’s what these third acts usually devolve into. The Cure story line is and can be a much smaller story, too, and maybe works better as such, but this is a major blockbuster - which I’m sure studio mandates a certain amount of CGI nonsense. Ah well.
Other Thoughts (dear god, get ready for all the thoughts!):
The Danger Room scene at the beginning of the film is a goddamn delight -- that is how you use the X-Men working as a team, and that’s how you use Wolverine in a good capacity.
One thing I’ll credit this film - it does better with its action sequences, and specifically letting the X-Men actually work as a team.
I can’t help but feel, though, that I wish more of the classic X-Men teams had been together for their last stand. Something about Wolverine’s little pep talk felt hollow - maybe because these characters we’ve barely met and/or interacted with and the emotional resonance isn’t there.
FWIW - the special effects in this film are such an upgrade than all the crud had has come before it -- especially Fantastic Four, which was only a year or so earlier.
Hugh Jackman has finally really settled in his role as Wolverine, he’s great, yadda, yadda
Famke Janssen continues to be an excellent Jean Grey, and I’m sorry her story line stunk so badly. The scene with her and Wolverine, where she goes through the gamut of emotions, is really quite wonderful. It’s a shame she spends half the movie just standing (or sitting) there.
I understand that James Marsden kind of tapped out of the franchise to go do Superman, but I’m so sad that they really didn’t do Cyclops well in any of these films. He’s such a great character, and you wouldn’t know it at all by these films.
The Beast! Who’d have thought that Kelsey Grammer would have been a good choice for Beast -- but it works.
I think Halle Berry asked for more to do as Storm. Well -- she has more to do, but she still doesn’t feel like Storm. I want an X-Men film where she Ororo Monrue is given the proper chance to shine.
Oh - I should mention Storm vs Callisto is a thing here, as an easter egg to long time fans, but it’s not satisfying to me as a long time fan because, like, most everything in this film, they kind of fucked it up.
Meanwhile... oh Rogue, maybe we shouldn’t get me started on how my favorite X-Man is the utter worst in this film. Not only is she barely in this film but... this is such a complicated issue for this character -- to be given five minutes of screen time is just the utter worst. And no, Rogue would never do that. No, no, no.
Ellen Page as Kitty Pryde is amazing, and she should have had her own movie. I find it hilarious, though, that she and Iceman kinda flirt with each other here -- since Iceman is canonically gay, and Kitty is subtextually bi. It’s just... funny.
Iceman - in his ice form. Yes, more of this.
Angel is here! He literally does nothing, but he doesn’t do much in the comics either, so it kinda hilariously works. I like the actor, too, he’s a great match.
The dude playing Colossus is a delight - again, more screen time needed! I kinda love that he’s just carrying around a TV to show his strength.
Lord help me - the Juggernaut is the worst. I hated that meme. I hate that he looks like a literal dick head. I hate that he’s portrayed as a mutant when he’s not, etc, etc.
There’s so much more to comment on, but I’ll spare you the time -- I mean there’s Moira MacTaggart, and the Morlocks - who are also the Omega Gang?, and Leech, and Eric Dane playing Multiple Man, and really... they brought in Stacey X (you guys ask me about Stacey X...), and apparently Psylocke is supposed to be in here somewhere, and sentinel camoes, and Trask, and Mystique... But, this review is long enough.
I do need to point out - the President is played by Josef Somer, who played Ducksworth in The Mighty Ducks, and I can only think of ‘quacking’ whenever I look at him.
Final Thoughts: It’s probably more enjoyable for a non-fan than a hardcore X-Man fan. It’s not as bad as people make it out to seem, but it’s not good either. Overall, there’s a lot of potential that gets squandered and exploded. Ah well.
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Fantastic Four Vol. 1 Annual 1979
Thu Sep 12 2019
[09:09 PM] Wack'd: That's right, 1979, even though it's 1980
[09:09 PM] Umbramatic: THE 80S
[09:09 PM] Wack'd: Marvel Wiki kinda has to cram these things back into canon whenever there's a break in the action
[09:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Which there wasn't really for any of 1979, it seems
[09:10 PM] Wack'd: Yeah
[09:10 PM] Umbramatic: i would make an 80s joke but that was before my time
[09:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Was that the longest arc they've had so far? The space adventure
[09:11 PM] Wack'd: I don't know why this couldn't have happened before that but whatever. The alternative is that I create my own timeline and the team is excruciating
[09:11 PM] Wack'd: The space adventure was pretty hecking long, yeah
[09:12 PM] Wack'd: So we open in media res, with a Sandman fight. Resolved by Sue force-fielding him and Johnny using his fire to freeze him into crystal
[09:12 PM] Wack'd: Which I'm pretty sure should kill him but whatever
[09:13 PM] Wack'd: He'll be fine
[09:13 PM] Umbramatic: sandman: "this is fine"
[09:13 PM] maxwellelvis: Really shows the differing level of threat Sandman provokes between Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four
[09:14 PM] Wack'd: The president of the bank Sandman was robbing gives the Four a reward:
[09:14 PM] Wack'd: A cat calendar
[09:14 PM] Umbramatic: cats
[09:15 PM] Wack'd: This is canon forever now
[09:15 PM] Umbramatic: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
[09:15 PM] maxwellelvis: It's priceless! Literally worthless!
[09:15 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh, Ben likes it. I can't make fun of it anymore.
[09:16 PM] Umbramatic: i love ben
[09:16 PM] Wack'd: Also: Franklin wants to join the Four! Reed says maybe when he's older, as though that's a real thing that will someday really happens
[09:16 PM] maxwellelvis: lmao
[09:17 PM] Umbramatic: don't worry it'll happen once ash ketchum turns 11
[09:17 PM] Wack'd: Agatha has come up from Whisper Hill to invite the Four and Franklin to vacation with her to New Salem! I'm sure this can only go well
[09:18 PM] maxwellelvis: We're only going on vacation to the haunted town we barely got out of last time with our skins, in a double-length issue.
[09:18 PM] maxwellelvis: What could possibly go wrong?
[09:19 PM] Wack'd: An interesting device that's been happening over the past four pages is that at the bottom of each page there's been a horizontal-one-panel cutaway to an occult ritual happening.
[09:19 PM] Wack'd: I can't really screenshot that but it's really neat
[09:20 PM] Umbramatic: oooooh
[09:20 PM] Wack'd: Hahahhaahaa
[09:21 PM] Umbramatic: rip ben
[09:21 PM] Umbramatic: he just wants to go to disney world
[09:22 PM] Wack'd: So they land at the airport, rent a car, and drive to New Salem. But Ben has trouble finding it, naturally
[09:23 PM] Wack'd: Oh look, I found Waldo
[09:23 PM] Umbramatic: but did you find his girlfriend carmen sandiego
[09:25 PM] maxwellelvis: Dear lord, we've stumbled into a Renaissance faire! Everyone run!
[09:25 PM] Wack'd: Some real good layouts here. George Pérez: great at his job
[09:25 PM] Wack'd: Also: Johnny nearly gets his soul sucked out
[09:26 PM] Bocaj: It Happens
[09:26 PM] maxwellelvis: Gordon and Susan from Sesame Street have joined Agatha's coven, apparently.
[09:26 PM] Wack'd: Well, they're the baddies
[09:26 PM] Wack'd: So that stinks
[09:26 PM] maxwellelvis: Never trust people who hang out with puppets.
[09:27 PM] maxwellelvis: Who know what all the people in your neighborhood do.
[09:27 PM] Wack'd: Also if you notice from the two-page spread, apparently the only black people in town 😬
[09:28 PM] Umbramatic: oh
[09:28 PM] Bocaj: Bad show, comic
[09:29 PM] Wack'd: So the Ceremony of Renewal happens. And what is supposed to be a remembrance ceremony for people killed in the witch hunts and a way to re-energize all of the townsfolks gets hijacked by those guys from the blue panels, who steal all the magical energies to bring back...this dingus.
[09:30 PM] Wack'd: Of all of the things you could've possibly done with unlimited magic energy, really? This guy?
[09:30 PM] Umbramatic: dingus
[09:30 PM] Wack'd: Oh right the blue panel guys were his henchmen. His impossibly dumb-looking henchmen
[09:31 PM] Wack'd: Was the one third from the right always so...Marge Simpson?
[09:31 PM] maxwellelvis: FEED ME EGGS, HOMER
[09:32 PM] Bocaj: oh hey i recognize some of these dinguses from the scarlet witch vision miniseries
[09:32 PM] Bocaj: When Vision dryhumped babies into Wanda
[09:32 PM] maxwellelvis: Somebody brought them back again?!
[09:32 PM] Bocaj: 'pparently
[09:33 PM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight
[09:34 PM] Wack'd: Marv Wolfman: A Man Who Knows A Lot About Gazelles
[09:37 PM] Wack'd: Reed, shattering or otherwise bypassing force fields is a fucking gimme power for your villains. You say you want to fight the Fantastic Four and you get "ignoring force fields" in your complimentary gift bag
[09:37 PM] Bocaj: Reed is dumb
[09:38 PM] Wack'd: So the Four get their asses thoroughly kicked
[09:39 PM] Wack'd: Normally this would be the part where we cut away, and they all wake up in a prison cell which they break out of, and the plot proceeds
[09:39 PM] Wack'd: But this time is different
[09:39 PM] Wack'd: And Marv Wolfman is not going to just ignore the fact that this small child has just seen his entire family get beat unconscious
[09:40 PM] Wack'd:
[09:42 PM] Wack'd: Franklin uses the power of inconsolable sadness and fear
[09:42 PM] Wack'd: It's...*sniff*...it's super-effective
[09:43 PM] Bocaj: huh
[09:43 PM] Wack'd: Seriously. I like this scene a lot
[09:43 PM] Umbramatic: awwwwww
[09:44 PM] Wack'd: I like that we're being forced to reckon with the danger Franklin is regularly in. And the fact that he's just a kid. And that for him to use powers he doesn't know he has--for him to be the deus ex machina we routinely mock--he has to be in a real dark place
[09:44 PM] Wack'd: And I like Agatha acknowledging that this is hard for him and comforting him
[09:46 PM] Wack'd: So uh. Meanwhile. The Salem Seven are conducting a ritual on the roof of the Baxter Building to destroy the Four and give Nick Scratch corporeal form
[09:47 PM] Wack'd: This for some reason involves generating a massive force field, gradually pushing all the people of Manhattan back as it encompasses the city
[09:48 PM] Wack'd: Spider-Man, the Avengers, and the Defenders all try to break through, but fail
[09:49 PM] Wack'd: Only Agatha and Franklin can break through--after all, Agatha's more powerful than her son. (The comic takes this as a given, despite Franklin's existence. Maybe it's a magic thing)
[09:49 PM] maxwellelvis: It's gotta be the combined power of the entire Salem Seven that's locked Dr. Strange and Silver Surfer out of the bubble.
[09:50 PM] maxwellelvis: Fewer than that and either of them could have broken through no prob, assuming that's the Defenders line-up we're talking about
[09:50 PM] maxwellelvis: the Dr. Strange, Silver Surfer, Hulk, and Namor team
[09:50 PM] Wack'd: It's not.
[09:50 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh
[09:51 PM] Wack'd: There's whoever the fuck this is
[09:52 PM] maxwellelvis: I know that guy but I can't remember his name.
[09:52 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh, it says right there, Nighthawk
[09:52 PM] Wack'd: So forgettable I forgot his name moments after reading it
[09:53 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, the Salem Seven's spells are easily deflected. So are the ghostly Nick's attempts to stop her with hail, fire, and lightning
[09:53 PM] Bocaj: Nighthawk: strong as two strong guys at night. Owns a jetpack. Is Batman but Somehow Worse.
[09:54 PM] Wack'd:
Nick: Why won't you die, blast you?!
Agatha: Because I am your mother, Nicholas.
[09:54 PM] Bocaj: Hah
[09:54 PM] Mousa The 14: Damn
[09:55 PM] Mousa The 14: Someone call the cops, I’d like to report a familicide
[09:55 PM] Umbramatic: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[09:55 PM] Mousa The 14: This woman completely obliterated her son
[09:55 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh snap
[09:55 PM] Mousa The 14: Yes he deserved it, just figured you’d all wanna know
[09:55 PM] Wack'd: Agatha and Franklin make their way into the Baxter Building where a brainwashed Fantastic Four are waiting.
[09:56 PM] Wack'd: Franklin 🥺
[09:57 PM] Mousa The 14: This is legitimately genuinely terrifying
[09:57 PM] Mousa The 14: Like, jesus christ that's horrifying
[09:57 PM] Umbramatic: y i p e
[09:57 PM] Mousa The 14: Like this big friendly ol' teddy bear unle Ben Grimm crushing a child to death
[09:57 PM] maxwellelvis: "Thank you, Nicholas Scratch, I feel much better now"
[09:57 PM] Mousa The 14: has to be one of the most horryfing ideas in my mind right now
[09:58 PM] Wack'd: Fortunately, Franklin manages to break their mind control with the power of love. Also being a god
[09:58 PM] Umbramatic: Jesus Christ, how horrifying!
[09:58 PM] Bocaj: Unleash your annihilation of love
[09:59 PM] Wack'd: And Agatha sets right what has once gone wrong
[10:01 PM] Wack'd: And so the story ends with...Ben complaining there's no reward? I guess?
[10:02 PM] Wack'd: Probably should've ended on a more Franklin centered note
[10:02 PM] Wack'd: But overall I like this one a lot
[10:02 PM] maxwellelvis: Agatha erased the cat poster from his memory, I assume
[10:02 PM] Mousa The 14: I can’t believe we let this woman fall into lost history, she should be in every F4 adaptation
[10:03 PM] Wack'd: She's great, yeah
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Legless On Maim Chap. 4: The Government Is Firmly Not Doctor Prescribed
For Ectober Day 9: Rain.
Danny is annoyed but not surprised, Lewis is impressed but not surprised, Valerie is just surprised; but everyone’s a little confused.
Lewis pushes open Danny’s door around seven a.m., two coffees hugged to his chest and bags slung over his shoulder. He’s pretty sure Danny has a bit of a caffeine addiction. Putting one cup on the table before pausing and looking down, there was a pair of legs in red boots laying on the ground. The first place his mind goes is ‘goddamnit Vee, don’t leave out corpses’, but this is Danny. So that is definitely not a dead body, or part of one.
Depositing the bags to the side before walking around the bed to see who they’re attached to, seeing someone -clearly a girl- in a full-body metal ninja suit. Kicking at her feet, because really? Who? Why? Only for her to jerk awake, take one look at him and jump out the window.
Lewis blinks for a second before walking over to the window and watching whoever fly off on a hover-board? Shaking his head and looking at Danny, was he friendly with another hero type? Lewis tilts his head, well actually, he had seen her in a few videos...usually shooting at ghosts, including Phantom. So was she actually here on friendly terms or did Danny just knock her out....and then fall asleep himself. Which even Eddie isn’t enough of a reckless trash-fire to do.
Deciding not to wake up Danny near his hands, he’d rather not make his bruising worse or bruise the other wrist, he pokes at the tail through the sheets. Only for Danny to effectively ensure Lewis is very awake by his tail wrapping around Lewis’s torso and slamming him into the bed; which is honestly more painful than expected from a somewhat soft bed.
Danny growls for a beat before recognising Lewis’s scent and letting go of the guy, chuckling awkwardly, “sorry ‘bout that”. Watching as Lewis straightens his doctors' coat before waving Danny off, “at least you didn’t break a cast this time. Though I absolutely did wake you up near your tail to avoid getting attacked”.
Danny chuckles, “waking me up without me being full attack mode is a pointless task. At least half my fights start with me being awoken suddenly”, grumbling, “really does a number to my sleep schedule”.
Lewis chuckles, “ghosts and criminals, things of the night”, before pointing at the floor where the girl had been, “now, why was there an unconscious ghost hunter in red on the floor? I’m only guessing she’s a hunter because every video with her has her chasing ghosts”, pointing at Danny, “including you”.
Danny glances at the window, part of it still laying on the ground, before shaking his head, “she came and said hi, we’re friendly. Everyone calls her the Red Huntress”.
Lewis snorts and shakes his head, she sure didn’t seem friendly from what he’s seen, “by that you mean friendly to Danny Fenton, right?”.
Danny smirks slightly, he was working on getting her friendly to both sides of him but it was more than a work in progress, “yeah. Destroying Phantom is one of her life goals and videos?”, smirking and raising an eyebrow, “you been looking me up doc?”.
Lewis shrugs but points to Danny’s coffee, Danny smiling with ever so slight surprise and sipping at it while Lewis speaks, “I’m a curious man and you did tell me who you are. Though that may have only given me more questions”.
“Oh?”.
Lewis nods and downs the rest of his coffee before it gets too cold, that may likely not bother Danny but Lewis prefers reasonably well-temperatured drinks, “from what I looked at, Phantom and Fenton act wildly different. Yet neither seem like the you I’ve seen since you’ve been here. And you did say your Phantom form was just an inversion of how you looked upon death, so what’s with the symbol? Obviously you made the Phantom name after dying, yet the symbol obviously means Danny Phantom”.
Danny snorts and stretches out his tail some, wiggling the rest of his body a little as well, “can’t act the same in both forms, that’s suspicious, and you’re not from Amity. You don’t really know of me. So no point playing up the weakling or the hero around you”, chuckling and tracing a little DP over his chest with his tail tip, “there’s a wild story there. Inadvertently un-half died so had to half off myself again. Added the symbol to my original suit in black beforehand”, sighing happily, “re-half dying was worth the style points”.
Lewis scrunches up his eyebrows, “so you’ve died half-way twice? That seems highly illogical. And it sounds like you had the choice not to, yet did it anyway full well knowing what you’d become?”. At least that’s one way to eliminate the debate of whether or not he had a choice being the way he was.
Danny smiles and nods eagerly, “of course, I wouldn’t have me any other way. I’d do it again, as many times as needed, to stay Phantom. And I also made myself technically never get born once, fixed that obviously”, shaking his head, “mom almost dissected me that day. One of four times I’ve been strapped or chain down to some instrument of torture”.
Lewis shakes his head, deciding to not touch how someone could make themselves not exist while still being in existence enough to correct that, that’s a paradox if he’s ever heard one. “Strapped to torture instruments is a bit commonplace for Eddie and that was before even becoming Venom. Since then I think they’re at two. And both Eddie and Vee would say the same about being Venom. They could have stayed separate, honestly glad they didn’t. I don’t think anyone else could support Vee and Eddie would just implode on his own”.
Danny chuckles, he damn well hopes most people couldn’t even tolerate supporting Vee’s ‘diet’, “I’d implode too. One thing I’ve learned and know well. Be something or someone long enough and you can’t go back. Even if your body or life does. My ghostly instincts and Obsession are just part of me at this point”.
Lewis dips his head at Danny, made sense. Eddie is probably too used to Vee healing him and being functionally indestructible, that he would probably accidentally kill himself. “Humans are adaptable things. But reverting is like breaking a habit, most will fail miserably”, tilting his head and remembering another question, “and nether you nor Eddie are truly human fully. That’s a much bigger change. There’s no special fancy name for what’s Eddie is, he just gets called a host. But, if I remember correctly, you mentioned a word I haven’t heard before, ‘halfa’? Is that what you are?”.
Danny blushes slightly, stupid tongue, “heh, that’s the word. Half creature, hybrid, half-ghost, half-breed, half-formed. If someone’s really a dick, bastardisation”.
Lewis frowns at the last one, because that’s the appropriate reaction. The term was rather accurate but probably not appreciated, “that’s a lot of ways to say half something, half something else. Most seem a bit insulting”.
Danny snorts as Lewis gets up to throw out the two empty cups, “the whole alive and dead thing is a bit of a spit in the face to both and existence in general. So it makes sense”, pointing at Lewis, “your friends are natural technically. Humans playing host to other organisms is commonplace and Symbiotes, from what you’ve said, naturally have hosts. So hosting a Symbiote is natural really. But halfas? Nothing natural about that. It’s like a major glitch in the universe. Something abominable. Don’t really bother me though”.
“That’s good?”, well at least he didn’t seem to mind, positives. Shrugging slightly and setting bandaging to the side, “well Vee’s rather viewed a bit like that for being not evil. But that’s not the same of course”, picking up a garbage can and smiling cheerily, “now I was thinking we ought to get those casts off. Would make people think you’re doing better and let you move around some”, shrugging at Danny’s smile, “course you’ll still be bandaged up, no way you shouldn’t be, and-”, lifting up a larger bag, “-you’re wearing braces”.
Danny groans exaggeratedly at seeing the guy pull out two long ones with hinges -obviously for his arms-, two for his wrist and fingers -but hey! At least it looks like he’ll actually be able to move his fingers, not bend them though-, and what looks like a bulletproof vest with lots of straps and ribbing. Great. Least the bandaging mostly looks like ace wrapping, which he uses for nastier wounds or breaks here and there. So that’s familiar enough. But...Danny smirks slightly, “so I can just get out of the casts now?”.
Lewis nods and makes a point of not jerking from Danny just sitting up and throwing his arms out. Basically breaking apart all of the castings and hitting Lewis with a few pieces. Danny chuckles, “I make no apologies”.
Lewis shrugs, “well, I did take your legs”.
“And you didn’t even give me proper payment! Those were fantastic rare samples of a unique species I’ll have you know”, Danny waves a finger at him before stretching out in genuine, eyeballing the door all the while.
Lewis just motions for Danny’s arm and starts wrapping it up. Danny raising an eyebrow, “are you wrapping everything?”.
Lewis, securing it, “everything should, normally and logically, still be casted. You’re already getting a good deal here”. Danny huffs but lets Lewis do his job.
Lewis would admit, if asked, that he is absolutely marvelling over Danny’s healing. He was in perfect condition and just like the work Vee can do, it’s always incredible to see healing like this. Though he is definitely getting some strange side-eyeing from Danny as he inspects Danny’s bodies work.
Danny, meanwhile, thinks it’s probably for the best that Lewis doesn’t usually deal with conscious non-drugged patients. He could see Skulker going over his pelt like this, like an appraiser looking over a sought after collection, a hunter grazing their fingers over their favourite trophy prize, a cat eyeballing the best meal they’ve had in weeks. Lewis is again, really really weird, “dude, if you try to steal my body for display or something, we are going to have issues. One fucker doing that is enough, thank you very much”.
Lewis glances at Danny as he’s snapping on the second arm brace, “your body does good work. I like admiring good work, preferably my own but still. And who wants to display you? That sounds more than a little worrying”.
Danny chuckles, “I’m practically a one of a kind creature Lewis, my pelt is the trophy prize of trophy prizes. Skulker, a collector and poacher, is more than just a little fixated on me”, shaking his head and grunting a little from the finger braces, definitely not comfortable, “he has a display section specifically assigned for me and is pretty much my personal stalker at this point. Makes good pie though”.
Lewis shakes his head, “your life is complicated”, and motions for Danny to sit on the edge of the bed so he can put on the torso brace; Danny’s tail swishing around some.
Danny spreads his fingers repeatedly and bends them as much as he can at the first knuckles, which isn’t much, as Lewis moves around the back to finish securing the last brace; which he’s sure is pretty similar to the feel of an actual bulletproof vest. “You’ve got no idea. And there’s schooling on top of it, which my sister’s probably going to be bringing by today, so heads up for that”.
Lewis nods curtly, “noted”, and steps back to assess and admire. Readjusting a few things to look better. Symmetry matters.
Danny, deciding to mess with the guy a little for being a bit creepy, promptly transforms under the braces, also changing them like he did to the battle suit he used to fight Pariah. Hand and wrist braces turning white, the rest all black with his insignia over the chest of the torso brace. Green circles at every joint and white lines tracing the edges, black lines for his wrists and hands.
Lewis blinks and coughs, firmly startled and a bit confused while Danny’s looking over the design with a small smirk. Hearing him mutter, “not half bad actually”. Lewis shakes his head some and inspects one of the arm braces, “how and why?”.
Danny shrugs and transforms over the braces, making them seemingly disappear. Which Lewis gives him a seriously unimpressed and slightly insulted look for. Danny chuckles as he changes back human, braces reappearing completely normal. Lewis shaking his head and tapping on the arm brace, “you just altered -absorbed?- and recreated mass. Mass that wasn’t even your own”.
“I'm an impossible thing. Logic need not apply. When I’m all ghost, my organs and bones are optional. I can literally be just a bunch of floating vaguely person-shaped ectoplasm. Don’t ask me where my clothing and what not goes when I transform”, shrugging, “running theory, my ectoplasmic flesh just coats everything and absorbs or alters it”.
Lewis tilts his head, he didn’t exactly know what happened to Eddie's body or anything really either. Sometimes Venom could peel back to show Eddie’s face or body being right there, the next you could be staring down a throat that clearly wasn’t attached to a human. Illogical. Pointing at Danny, “you know, that’s pretty similar to running theory on what Vee does. Symbiotic flesh seeps out of Eddies pours and coats him. Sometimes absorbing him sometimes not, very illogical indeed. Vee also pretends to be Eddie’s clothing by doing that sometimes. Makes a very convincing leather jacket”, shaking his head with a slight smile, “just one that might bite you”.
Danny chuckles and stretches out again, trying to get a feel for these things, “Tuck once made a joke that my transformation rings eat my human stuff and clothing, then vomit it back out when I change back”, before letting Lewis re-securing and check over all the tubes and wiring attached to him.
Lewis checks his watch and laughs, with the way the Venom transformation happens it did look a lot like Vee eating Eddie’s face. While Danny floats off the bed and swirls around the room a little. Floating to look over Lewis’s shoulder, “let me guess, you’ve got more actual work to do today?”.
Lewis nods, probably oddly unfazed by the floating teen, “indeed, cutting it close already. Mostly just phone calls, paperwork and dealing with the underlings”, patting Danny’s shoulder, “at least attempt to stay in bed mostly, other people do show up here you know”.
Danny waves him off, “pfft I’ve vacuumed my house in ghost form before. Really is the easiest way to vacuum the walls”.
Lewis pauses at the door and looks back at him slightly, “who vacuums their walls?”.
“Fenton’s”.
Danny floats around the room, checking out random things, though being careful to not pull off any of the monitoring crap stuck to him. Don’t want to go giving Lewis a heart attack or something. Eventually running out of that to do, so he tests out the range of motion on every single section of the braces. Which, hint, was not very much.
Around noon he’s pretty much just laying in bed fiddling with his fingers and waiting for lunch, when Val/Red comes in through the window a bit aggressively and does a roll across the ground.
Danny blinks, “uh hey, again”, as she springs up and deactivates her helmet. Danny instantly frowning and sitting up at her looking slightly disheveled and worried. “What is it?”.
Valerie glances out the window at the vehicles, “didn’t want those guys seeing me and wondering why the Red Huntress was here”, looking back to Danny, “out of casts I see. It looks...way less serious”.
Danny smirks, “yeah”, moving his arm around and bending his fingers as much as he can, “still annoying though. Kinda feel like I’m in a battle suit myself though”.
Both of them look out the window as it starts raining, Valerie smiling, “do I ever have good timing”.
Danny squints, something seemed kind of...off, “yeah......”, tilting his head at Val, “what guys? My folks are here too?”.
Valerie sighs and shakes her head, slightly annoyed and not really sure nor caring why they were here, “no, it’s those idiotic G.I.W. their cars stick out li-”.
Danny promptly cuts her off, hiding his panic for now, “what? Are, um, sure they’re here?”, Danny looks at the stuff hocked up to him, figuring out what order to get rid of or deactivate them while alerting the staff as late as possible.
Valerie squints at him, a little confused, the G.I.W. were just confusing and annoying that’s it, “yeah, they always wear those super clean white suits and the pompous sunglasses”.
“Ah fuck”, Danny prompt floats off the bed and to the window, looking out and indeed seeing their damn vehicles, one that is definitely a heavy-duty ecto-entity transportation vehicle, “fuck me”, squinting more at the rain, it was a really bright blue. Intense colours and him altering colour palettes was normal in Amity, but here? Was he already ecto-contaminating this place that much?
Now Valerie is both confused and a little worried, not to mention startled by Danny just...floating. Watching the tail vibrate like static, clearly upset or freaked out. She’s just going to assume Danny’s tried this floating thing already or it comes naturally with the tail, “what is it? I know they’re annoying but I highly doubt they’d be visiting some kid. Even if you’re a Fenton”.
Danny glances at her before zipping over to all the devices hooked up to him, fiddling with them as he responds, “you see the big van? Like an armoured truck? They are absolutely here for me. And if they find me, they’ll shove me in that and take me to who knows where for lots of painful experiments”.
Valerie blinks, judging by how focused and panicked he seemed -not to mention how he was deactivating machines, tearing sensors off, and cutting through any tubes that were more impeded in him- he was serious about this. But why?, “that doesn’t make sense Danny. Why would they do that? You’re a human kid”.
Danny looks at her a little stunned that it wasn’t obvious before zipping back to the window, he couldn’t go out this way, he’d be spotted and he’d rather not start showing off his powers to Val. Floating around was probably already pushing it. Plus, hospitals had tons of exits. “I’m a human kid with a ghostly tail and ectoplasm in my blood. The hospital took samples from me when I arrived, they would have access to that. My folks' samples they don’t”, turning to her as he floats against his door and listens, whispering to her as she walks over quietly, looking a bit more serious now, “they’ve come after me before, I tricked them so they dropped it. Can’t do that again cause the device I used was destroyed”, Danny doesn’t even have to ask if she’s helping him get out of here, partly because it would be easier if she didn’t partly because he knows she’s going to help even if he asked her not to, as he expertly gets the lock open and sticks his head out.
Valerie grabs him and yanks his head back in, whispering, “what do you think you’re doing?”, gesturing at his tail, “if they’re after you then that getting spotted is the worst thing you could do”.
Even if people did spot his tail, people can write a quick glimpse off as a trick of the eye, “I can’t stay here”.
Valerie dashes back to Danny’s hospital bed, it still hurt that he even had one, and yanks off the top sheet. Tossing it at Danny and whispering, “then hide it, I’ll carry you. You know damn well I can be sneaky”. The fact that he doesn’t even complain about that, instead just lays on the ground and coils the tail up tightly, tying the sheet around it and his waist; really makes it clear he’s very serious about this.
She picks him up, firmly pushing off her mild freak out overdoing that and how light he is, while he throws an arm around her shoulder and neck. Promptly sticking her head out the door and booking it towards an empty hallway.
Danny makes a damn point to pay attention to his senses, smelling for people or where he can smell more fresh air -likely closer to an exit- as Val runs impressively quietly. Of course, him getting carried is damn embarrassing and the jostling isn’t pleasant, if he was actually still injured this would probably hurt like Hell. “Left.....Right......Right....”, pointing at one of the bridges, “over that, exit”.
Valerie huffs and makes a point to walk more casually, even if they get some weird looks no one really thinks much of it, “Danny, you memorised, the building? Just how, cautious are you?”.
Danny just grunts as they get across, looking over the railing to see Lewis talking to two clearly annoyed G.I.W. agents, “as much as needed”.
Valerie follows his line of sight just before she starts manoeuvring to a stairwell, seeing three agents talking to Danny’s weird -seriously who says stuff like that?- doctor, “fuck, you’re right”. Then muttering as she starts down the stairs, “I’m not hurting you am I?”.
Danny grunts as she gets open the door to outside, logically he should be in pain but that would make her feel bad, “I’m fine, let’s just go”.
Valerie plops Danny on the ground, activates her helmet only, and sticks her head out into the pouring rain, looking around for a clear coast.
Danny looks at the rain and his bandaging, chuckling, “Lewis is gonna be pissed”. Untying the sheet, because honestly the goal was to be totally unseen now, thank you rain for the poor visibility in that regard. Floating over near her though not sticking his head into the rain, and muttering, “don’t give me shit for not being carried anymore. I’d rather be able to zip off if I have to”.
Valerie side-eyes him but nods, it made sense, she might have to play distraction or something. Plus, the rain made it incredibly darker. At least it will likely be a while before anyone comes out here to look for them so they’ve got time to wait for a good while.
Lewis was walking to the front desk to check over somethings and make a couple drop-offs, when he spotted the three white-suited men. Making a point to not stare or looking at them, or chuckle for that matter, they looked like nock off Men In Black agents. Guys In White, Hell that was a complete rip off actually.
Ignoring them as one agent asks the receptionist, “Agent S, government agent. We need to see some patient files-”.
“I’m sorry sir, if you’re not family or the patient we can’t release that kind of information”.
Lewis nearly chokes and laughs at the Agents response, “we do your taxes. All the ones for the people who were brought in from the car crash in Amity Park, files now”.
The receptionist gives them a disbelieving look and takes her sweet time looking over the guys' badge, “sorry sir, I still can not release that information to you”.
“Where are their rooms located?”.
The receptionist, who’s obviously mistrustful of them now. Lewis almost thinks she should get a raise for putting up with this, as she responds, “many are in special intensive care or discharged. Those still here are not allowed unapproved visitors-”.
“Where are their rooms, we will come in with a warrant”.
She completely ignores their comment, “-All approvals are being handled by their respective doctors. If you wish to see any of them you will need approval”.
One of the other Agents steps up, “who are the doctors”, that’s supposed to be a question but it sounds like a demand.
Lewis, deciding to catch them off guard a little, “I am one”.
The receptionist functionally exits the conversation at this point and goes back to her work. Not wanting to deal with these blowhards or Dr. Lewis. Taking the finished paperwork from the strange surgeon. She was more than happy to hear he would be going away for a while to help look after his patient, whose parents he was apparently friends with. How they could tolerate him was a bit of a mystery but from the little interaction she’s had with them, they were weird too. Possibly more weird.
The one identified as Agent S steps towards Lewis, “how many patients”.
“That information is private”.
All three agents flash their badges, “not from the government it’s not”.
Lewis makes a damn point of inspecting the badges, which are real annoyingly enough. Still doesn’t matter, “you need a warrant then”.
One of the agents types away and not even a second or two later the receptionist is handing Lewis a warrant. Lewis nods at it, these guys were fast, why couldn’t the guys who actually do his taxes be like that? Clearing his throat, “I don’t have many in my care at the moment, as I usually handle surgeries. I’m not sure how helpful that will be to you”, waiting for a beat while they stare before continuing, “as it stands, I’m looking after three. Only two from the crash”.
The three nod, before agent S speaks, “file and room location for both”.
“Why?”.
“We are with the government”.
Looking over the warrant quickly, nothing about files or rooms, “not good enough. Friends and family only”. Lewis has a feeling that these guys are used to throwing their positions and titles around.
One of the other agents steps forward, “then we want to see your superior”.
Lewis smirks, he loved doing this, “I am the superior”.
The agent squints at his name tag and snaps, “the hospital head then”.
Lewis restrains a chuckle, that was going to get them nowhere fast. Giving them her number anyway and fetching a coffee while he waits. Hiding his smirk with the rim of the cup at the clearly frustrated agents. No way Ms. Leevy would go against Lewis’s decision over visitation of all things, especially for a special case patient or one very wealthy woman, both of whom Lewis himself worked on. He was strange and disliked but everyone knew he was damn good. It was a rare day in Hell when he was actually questioned. It had probably been years since he had been actually.
Frowning ever so slightly as the Agent clearly makes another call, likely his own government superiors. Lewis stands up as Agent S comes back over, “take us to their rooms and provide their documentation now”.
Lewis doesn’t get a chance to respond as the receptionist calls him over and hands him faxed in documents, looking a little frazzled. These guys actually got warrants, just like that once again. Danny was right to be cautious of them, but this functionally ties Lewis’s hands. And considering these guys will shoot rockets at teenagers, he’s got no doubt they’ll storm the building if he refuses at this point. That would put everyone in the hospital at risk and likely wouldn’t do much in the way of stalling.
Making a damn point of using the slowest, most annoying, and glitchy computer they have, Lewis goes about opening up Lilly’s file. Taking the long way instead of using his personal code to bypass things. But blinking when he finds the file, it was severely corrupted. Most of the files were practically unusable, even the descriptions and names were hardly intact.
Agent S snapping, “what’s wrong, why does it look like that. Unencrypt it”.
This gets the receptionist's attention again as she looks over and squints, muttering, “that’s not encryption. What in the world?”.
Lewis shakes his head, confused and a little stumped. Moving over to what he knows is Danny’s file to find it looks the same. It’s like a virus came in and took bites out of it. One file even crashes the computer when he tries to open it. The screen showing a little spinning PDA for a second before turning off completely. Danny’s friends were officially a little terrifying. What kind of hacking or programming did Tucker even use to do something like this? The kid better well have a back up of Lily’s file, Lewis kind of needs that.
Lewis shakes his head at the screen and stands, turning to the receptionist, “have the IT guys look into that”, before turning to the Agents, “warrant or no, you’re out of luck. Flies are damaged”.
Agent S snapping with clear distaste and ego, “rooms then. I’m sure your hospital isn’t so horrible that the rooms can get corrupted or doctors forget their patients' rooms”. Clearly these government dogs were pricks.
Lewis holds up his finger as his pager goes off, no one should be paging him at this point so something was clearly going wrong or there was an emergency. Checking it to see that it was a vitals alarm from Danny’s room. Seriously hoping that’s because the kid disconnected stuff, not actually having an emergency. Good thing Lewis messed with the alarms from Danny’s room. The nurses would simply be notified that Danny had been transferred rooms and to clean up the room. So to give the nurses time to do their jobs, Lewis takes the slightly longer route to Lily’s room and isn’t surprised at all when they aren’t too interested in Lily. He’s even less surprised Danny’s gone and the room is clean.
Looking at the agents and, restraining a smirk, says, “oh no, guess they’ve been misplaced”. The agents are unimpressed.
Meanwhile, Valerie and Danny smile at the backlot clearing out, hadn’t taken even remotely long. Valerie suiting up fully to stay dry and blend in a bit better. Plus her board would be quieter than running through puddles. Looking back to Danny, who’s sitting on the ground, tail wrapped under his torso. The less floating he does the better, he doesn’t want to seem too used to this. Valerie asking, “you good just riding piggyback on my board? I’m fast and I think I can steer better than you can use the tail”.
Danny nods as she activates her board, holding gently around her neck; letting his tail just float about in case he has to run/fly off. Nodding again as she asks, “good to go?”. Before shooting off.
However, Danny near-instantly stiffens, yelps, and yanks his tail to curl in between the rest of his body and Val. Wincing and shaking slightly from every raindrop. This was not normal rain. hissing out, “go back, fuck, ow. Fuck”.
If Valerie hadn’t been concerned by the comment she would be by the fact that she can’t fell Danny’s tail moving at all and it seems like his muscles are shaking and spasming. So she promptly flies back. Pretty much having to peel Danny’s stiff and definitely seized up arms from around her neck. Grabbing the sheet they left behind and patting off the rain a bit frantically, which she’s now noticing looks way too brightly coloured.
Danny groans, this shit fucking hurts. Goddamn G.I.W. twats. They probably were spraying this crap or some shit. Jerkily pushing himself to sit up against Val/Red’s leg after he gets some control of his muscles back, he can feel that stuff burned his skin too. Looking down at his, smaller than it should be, tail and finally noticing the lack of movement. Trying to float or bend it and utterly failing. This was not good. Leaning forward and scooping his hand underneath it, lifting it only for it to behave like a limp soggy noodle. Letting go of it for it to just flop to the ground. Looking up at Val/Red, who’s frowning, Danny clears his throat probably sounding a little shocky, “heh, l-let’s hope this isn’t...permanent”.
Valerie nods jerkily, having a ghostly tail was weird enough, losing legs was horrible enough, not being able to use what he does have would be downright cruel. Moving and helping Danny to stiffly lay on the ground. Deactivating her suit and looking at her dry clothing and skin, she couldn’t just give him her suit, it was part of her body. But if they could put something else over him....pointing at him, “just wait here”, before booking it back into the building.
Danny’s hoping she’s got some kind of idea, because he’s a sitting duck here and he can’t even doing anything about that really. Dragging himself over to a wall and flopping onto his side, groaning a bit and trying to ignore the spasms. Grabbing his tail and pulling it up to his face so he can inspect it. It taking a few tries because of wet braces and the super malleable composition of ectoplasm that’s only barely holding the form of a ghostly tail. But he manages and it was ragged instead of smooth and little holes in spots. Danny could also tell his bodies ectoplasm had been pretty heavily depleted. Which is starting to make him a fair bit tired, not to mention weak. Which only serves to annoy him and make him more paranoid.
And what if his tail couldn’t recover from this? Zone knows what’s in that ‘rain’. What if he won’t be able to fly or float anymore? That would, that would be awful. He’d rather his legs not grow back at all, ever, than not fly again. Pushing down his rising panic as Val comes back with rubber aprons.
Valerie’s pretty well positive he’s either going into shock or something worse with how wide-eyed he looks, not to mention the shaking. Quickly wrapping him in the aprons and making a damn point to make sure all of him is covered, especially the tail. Looking kind of like a Danny burrito at the end, trying to make this seem less shitty, she chuckles slightly, “you look silly”.
Danny looks at her speaking a bit awkwardly, “prick”, before jerking and wincing in pain, feeling his Core do the closest thing it can to seizing up. This felt an awful lot like the Plasmius Maximus. Which, for once, was actually encouraging. That wore off after a while.
Valerie grabbing his shoulders, more than a little worried, “Danny. Are you okay?”.
Danny grunts, “not really. My ectoplasm’s basically seizing up now”, nodding his head stiffly at her, “suit up, we still need to get out of here”.
Valerie frowns but does as she’s asked, “Danny, I didn’t even know you had ectoplasm in you before. How bad is that?”.
Danny chuckles a little hollowly, “everyone in Amity does”.
She looks to where she knows his tail is a bit judgingly as she lays him over the nose of her board, “not enough to set off detectors or form ghost tails, Danny. You even said you have a lot in you even before now, more than everyone else”, patting his back and grabbing on to him, “you good to try again?”.
Danny nods as she creeps out, “I’m fine, go. And yeah I guess I did. Something similar to this has happened before, minus the burning-”.
Valerie cuts in as she crouches and speeds off, making sure to keep a good grip on Danny, “burning!?!”.
Danny grunts, “yeah, felt like someone was dripping acid on me-”.
Cutting in again, “how did you not scream from that?”.
“High pain tolerance. My house is an accidental death waiting to happen. Anyway, if this works like the other thing did, I’ll be fine in time”, Danny’s pretty well clinging to that idea and freaking out would not be helpful at all right now. He doesn’t have time for a freakout.
Valerie ducks behind some cars, grumbling, “well you still should get treatment from your folks or the....doctor guy, for it. Can they even treat your, er, ectoplasm? What if it doesn’t get better at all”.
Danny grumbles as she has to backtrack again, there were more agents showing up, “yes but my ‘plasm’s usually just left alone to do its thing. And I don’t really know. My tail would probably fade away, other than that. I really don’t know”, he could make a few guesses, but not only does he not want to voice them but she’ll ask some questions. Because really, there was only three options. He’d die fully, he’d come fully back to life, or he just wouldn’t be able to use his ghost stuff and side anymore. All of them are fucking horrible and he is firmly not thinking about that. Instead grimacing at what’s functionally crowds in every direction. Some with agents some not. Grumbling, “damnit, can I use your com by chance? Make phone calls?”.
Valerie’s got no clue what he’s up to but she’s got nothing, so she puts a spare pair of her suits headphones into his ears and shoves a little remote into his hand. Muting the call on her helmet for privacy, “here, I’m not listening. Do whatever plan you have”.
Danny smiles and calls Tuck, speaking as soon as he picks up, “don’t ask, where you at?”.
“We’re both in Amity dude, what’s happening?”.
“Seeing a marching band“, their code for the G.I.W. are here, “little red bird’s joined the black parade”, meaning the Red Huntress is helping Danny, “patch me to doc man. Because you fuckers are a long way off. Got a probable fake-out make-out in mind“, mentally groaning over their phrase for saving Danny ass through trickery, “and can’t use little red bird, marching band’s got eyes”. It was way too easy for them to get spotted if Val/Red just flies off and he’s not about to risk her secret like that. Besides, the G.I.W. are stupid but not that stupid.
“Noticed, hacked and cracked. Hold your knickers.....and done. Connecting. Don’t ghost us”, with that Danny hangs up so he can talk with Lewis and probably so Tuck can watch what the G.I.W. are doing. Least it sounds like he deleted Danny’s file or something similar.
Seconds later Lewis picks up, sounding a bit incredulous, “hello?”.
“What’s up doc? You got a car right?”.
“Yes. It’s in the west bay lot. I have a lot of questions. I’m in the bathroom holding my pager, which firmly can not take calls, to my ear. How?”.
Danny chuckles and looks up at Val/Red, “not speaking to you right now. Hey driver, we need the west bay lot”, leaning his face back down so no rain can possibly get on it as she flies off cautiously and clearly a bit confused. “I’m back doc. Don’t question the powers of the very geek. Just meet us by your shit and grab the shit I came in with. All of it. Even scraps”.
Danny can practically hear Lewis’s smirk, “that’s easy. Confiscated it days ago. See you soon”. Danny smirks as he hangs up.
Danny chuckles slightly, body feeling a ton better but ectoplasm still not usable, “we’re good to go. You’re basically dropping me off with Lewis. No one will think something weird of a doctor going out for late lunch or early supper”.
Valerie shakes her head, “I didn’t even understand half of what you said. But you got lucky with your doctor”.
Danny simply smiles as they near the parking lot. Danny spotting some well-dressed guy walking with a large briefcase. As they get closer and Danny squints, it’s clearly Lewis. “Dude walking with a briefcase. Looks weird without his doctor coat”.
Valerie’s just assuming Danny knew whereabouts his doctor would be, since she can barely see the person.
Lewis spots the Red Huntress -how does that board of hers work?- and promptly unlocks his car, signalling for the back doors to open. Managing to get to the car just after the girl dumps what looks like a rubber black garbage bag in the back seat. The girl pointing at Lewis and speaking with an oddly deep voice, “I don’t care what he says, give him medical attention when safe”, then promptly flies off out of sight.
Lewis hops in the car, tosses his briefcase onto the floor in the back, and starts the car as he closes the door. Turning around and speaking as he uses the back window to reverse instead of his camera so that he can see that Danny’s indeed here, wrapped in rubber? And not in a way Vee would like Eddie to be. Shaking his head to clear that image and speaking, “I have even more questions. Guess we’re heading to Amity a little early huh?”, and then fucking drives off.
Danny chuckles and unwraps the aprons as quickly as he can with his stiffness and without getting any of the ‘rain’ on himself. Pushing himself to sit up and stuffing the aprons under the seat. “I bet you do. But no, should probably hold off on going to Amity. You’ll be followed and it’d be suspicious if you do that before you’re scheduled to be off work. You’re just taking a late lunch is all”.
Lewis stares at him through the review mirror, Danny just left needles stuck into his skin and let himself be tossed around, “take out the needles. Seriously. And I am not just letting you run off and I definitely can’t take you out for food in public. Leaving you in here all day would be more risky than you just hiding in a hospital closet”, watching the road though squinting, Danny’s tail was strangely still, “what’s going on with your tail?”.
Danny huffs a little and yanks out the couple things still hooked into him, before grabbing the brief case and digging through his clothing pockets, “the rain’s not rain doc. It’s an anti-ecto solution. My ectoplasm is functionally paralysed right now. It burned the Zone out of me too. So yes, I need to be rewrapped for burn-ah! Yes!”, lifting up his little keychain thermos and poking the uncram button, making it return to a full-sized thermos.
Lewis isn’t sure if he’s unimpressed at his work getting ruined again or impressed that it happened so quickly. “I can’t keep bandaging on you for even a day, can I? And how is a thermos useful? And was it shrunken before?”.
Danny shakes the thermos with a smirk, “this is the most useful thing I have. And yes, folks built a shrink gun like a year ago. Built and repurposed parts from it to build into one of my thermoses. That way I can have a thermos keychain and never be without one”.
Lewis furrows his brows, just how many logic-defying things had his old friends made? “The laws of the universe don’t apply to Fenton’s, in general, do they? And that doesn’t answer how the thermos is useful”.
Danny actually laughs at that, though suppressing a wince for rattling his paralysed Core, as he checks to make sure the thermos is actually empty, “pretty much. It’ll seem less weird after dad accidentally sucks the house into an alternate dimension a few times. Dream catchers that spit people in half and heavily weaponised jumpsuits, yes those suits they wear are weaponised, seem a lot less odd comparatively”, Danny’s firmly enjoying Lewis’s slightly confused expression, and confusing the guy is a welcome distraction. Smirking slightly, he opens the thermos at the car roof, the beam shooting out but of course doing nothing as he puts the cap back on.
Lewis nearly jerks the wheel, not expecting Danny to start shooting his car, deadpanning, “why did you shoot my car? What does that do? And just how weaponised”.
Danny puts it to the side and sorts through the briefcase more for a pair of Fenton Phones, “you got a screwdriver kit? And it’s a capture device. I don’t just beat ghosts up till they leave. I catch ‘em...in a thermos”.
Lewis digs around in his dash compartment and hands back a kit, whose taken to laying across the seats, “well you are not going to be catching any ghosts. So what are you using it for”. Glancing in the mirror to see Danny tearing apart one of what looks like a green wireless earbud with a mic that’s sitting on his stomach, “and those?”.
Danny holds up the intact one, “Fenton Phones. Name says it all, gimme your pager”, explaining more as Lewis just does it and starting to take that apart too, “I'm fusing the communication bits of the one Fenton Phone into your pager. That way we can communicate”.
“I have a phone you know. And those pagers cost money”.
Danny rolls his eyes, “phones can be tapped. Fenton Phones can’t be. They also can’t be traced”, looking at Lewis’s face through the review mirror, “you could just wear it but that would be noticeable. Or do you want me to take apart your phone”.
Lewis, recognising when he should just go along with whatever a weird friend wants, promptly nods, “you can have the pager”, like how you just don’t try to share food with Vee, best let them have the whole plate, or bowl. Clearing his throat, “but I’m still not letting you run off or stay in the car. Since you won’t go to Amity then what?”.
Danny lifts up the thermos and shakes it, before finishing up the pager and testing it. Smiling with a nod and handing the pager back, “I’m hiding in the thermos. So technically, I am catching a ghost, me. Then you just jab the cram button and hide it where ever. Could even shove it and thusly me, in you wallet”.
Lewis gives Danny seriously dubious eyebrows through the review mirror, “you can fit in that?”.
“It’s a Hell of a lot comfier than the vacuum. And dad accidentally crammed -shrunk- me once before so that’s safe too”. Danny leans forward and uses his elbows two perch himself up on the centre console, tail just flopping unceremoniously on the ground as he holds up the thermos and starts pointing at buttons, “cram, uncram, capture, and this last one’s release. You’ll have to uncram the thermos and then use the release button to let me out”.
Lewis is genuinely considering labelling this as the weirdest day he’s ever had. And it’s just over half over, “so you want me to just, carry you around in a tiny thermos for hours on end? So you can avoid the government officials crawling all over my hospital?”.
Danny nods a bit erratically, “yes, exactly. You could leave me in the car or your locker, if you have one of those. Sure I’ll be a little cranky and sore, it’s not the Taj Mahal in there. But it’s safe and they won’t be able to detect me with scanners”.
“They have scanners for you? Seriously?”.
Danny rolls his eyes, “no, all ghosts. So do my folks. I set that stuff off if they’re sensitive enough regardless of form. I set them off even easier now it seems, blaming the tail for that. My parents' scanner even says, ‘you’d have to be a moron to not spot the ghost directly in front of you’. The ghost grabber adds ‘beware’ after every word I say. And the boomerang will always aim for and hit me if someone throws it. There’s a really long list actually”.
Lewis shakes his head, this was a bit absurd, “and yet they still don’t realise you’re half ghost? Even with their devices point-blank telling them you are a ghost?”.
Danny shrugs, “people are blind, like I said. Anyway, I’mma hide before my luck runs out and G.I.W. drives by or something”.
Lewis almost wishes he pulled over as Danny aims it at his face, gets hit by a blue beam and seems to basically dissolve into Danny coloured mist and gets sucked inside; thermos clattering to the ground. Lewis waits till he gets to the little diner to grab the thermos and hit the cram button. Looking at his pager and pushing the new green button, “you good?”.
Danny’s voice coming through the pager, “I’m fine doc, just go eat and don't be suspicious. I can hear through the thermos by the way. And yes, even I qualify this situation as rather weird even by my standards”.
Lewis shakes his head, clipping the thermoses little key chain on his wallets inside zipper and zipping the whole thing closed, “glad I’m not the only one”, before heading in for food.
One of the annoying things about his ectoplasm being disabled, Danny thinks, is that he can’t move around. Since the thermos basically dissolves and hyper condenses ghosts into just their pure ectoplasm. Sure you could make/keep that ectoplasm you shaped...if you could actually move your ectoplasm. But at least he was alone in here. Though hearing Lewis go about his day is more than a little strange. Even seems slightly invasive when he’s dealing with patients. Which is hardly ever actually. But he does learn that Lewis really does watch what he says around others. Speaking all professional and calming like with some girl named Pepper. But it does keep him somewhat entertained.
Lewis: “mam, I would ask you to leave the transfusion line in”.
Danny doesn’t even need to ask to know how big of a mess tearing out a blood transfusion line would make. Largely because he, like an idiot, has done that repeatedly.
Pepper: “well then get one that doesn’t poke holes in me”.
Lewis: “I apologise as that isn’t something the hospital currently offers”.
Pepper: “well then make it. You’re the big head guy aren’t you?”.
Lewis: “mam. No place offers that because it doesn’t currently exist”.
Pepper, who Danny is imagining is making some kind of shooing motion, “then go make one. I’ll wait”.
Lewis: “maybe someone will see to that. In the meantime, you do need this. So please allow nurse Joy to help you out. I’m sure you’d like to be on your way”.
Pepper: “absolutely not. I will not have something icky like that being jabbed in my skin. And do you even clean the blood? I hear you just take it from any weirdos who just show up. I’ll just find another hospital where they can give me what I want. How would you like losing your paycheck?”.
Lewis: “I can assure you we have extremely high standards for both the blood we take and provide to patients. You were sent here because you needed the best care possible, which we have and can provide as best as you allow us to”.
Pepper: “pah! Then stop jabbing me with things. Use the needles on the commoners with no standards. Treat me like a doctor, would you treat a doctor like this?!?”.
Lewis: “without question yes. Everyone receives the same level of care, as we hold ourselves to the highest standard”.
Pepper: “bullshit! No doctor would let their skin, that they likely spent good money taking care of, be marred for some silly blood thingy”.
Someone Danny’s assuming is a nurse: “mam please, Dr. Lewis has other duties to perform. All you need to do is take the treatment as you need i-”.
Pepper: “I don’t care what other patients he has! They can all curdle and die! Give me what I actually deserve”.
Lewis, sounding a little too cheery, “I can certainly do that.....nurse Remfell, could you fetch me the sedatives?”. Danny snorts and laughs at that.
Pepper: “what! I do not need something like that!”.
Lewis: “then please take your treatment as you’ve been directed”.
Pepper: “this is harassment and coercion!”.
Lewis: “you requested I give what you deserve. Which is simply what you need. Which is exactly the treatment we are attempting to give you”.
Pepper: “no, what I need is for you to speed up this process so I can go home to people who actually do treat me properly. You know, by not jabbing me with needles”.
Lewis: “if they were capable of indeed providing you with adequate treatment then I would feel comfortable releasing you to them. However, they are not. No one can rush healing, the body must take its time and it can use that time best while being treated properly”.
Pepper: “would you let this be done to you? I think not”.
Lewis: “I certainly would. The people here are highly skilled. I could demonstrate, if that would make you feel better?”.
Nurse Remfell, sounding cautious and barely above a whisper: “Doctor Lewis”.
Pepper: “oh don’t bother. You probably willing eat meat. So clearly your standards are a little lower than mine”.
Lewis: “you’ll find most doctors are quite healthy eaters, including the very much necessary amount of meat. Though I can assure you that I have a friend with a far more specialised and refined palette”. Danny officially wonders just how often Lewis drops random info about his friends. And man would Sam ever be able to get into one Hell of an argument with Lewis and his friends.
Pepper: “then maybe they should do your job. Since you clearly don’t know about nutrition at all”.
Lewis: “that is not my department but I can assure I am very well informed in that regard. I don’t believe anyone would exactly like them to be the ones digging around in them”.
Nurse Remfell, again sounding cautious and slightly pleading: “doctor, don’t you have surgery in a little while?”.
Lewis: “I do. But maybe they’d enjoy some diet tips from miss Pepper as an apology for holding me up from doing what is in my title”.
Pepper: “hmpf, they don’t deserve my wisdom for free”.
Lewis: “then you’re going to let everyone here do their jobs and get you and other patients fixed up?”.
Pepper: “not if they’re going to stick Me with more damn needles”.
Lewis: “Nurse Remfell, please have Dr. Meyer sedate and help treat Miss Pepper. I would do it, my hands are steadiest of course, but I’m afraid I have other responsibilities”.
Nurse Remfell: “yes doctor”.
Danny chuckles as he can hear Lewis leaving and the door closing. Though he’s not really looking forward to overhearing surgery of all things.
Surprisingly it’s not that bad when you can’t see shit. Plus there’s no nightmarish screaming cause Lewis doesn’t run around dissecting conscious beings. In fact, Danny spends most of the time naming off what instruments he knows by sound. It’s probably concerning that seems to be most of them. But saw on bone is a pretty darn unique sound and something like scalpels he could tell just by how Lewis seemed to be moving. Though he is a little surprised by just how often Lewis uses a bone saw. He’s not sure if that’s just normal or if Lewis just really likes sawing into bones. If it was anyone else the answer would be obvious. But it’s the guy who makes cakes for vigilante serial killers and makes designs out of and in people’s bodies for fun.
Danny also gets a bit surprised by just how much idle chitchat goes on, which Lewis is firmly not involved in. In fact, whenever it sounds like he gets relatively close they quiet down. It would be funny that Lewis seemed like the operation rooms ‘shut your yap and work’ button, if it weren’t for that being kind of...sad. Lewis wasn’t kidding about not being exactly well-liked. Which Danny’s a bit miffed about, the guy was great! Weird...but great. Would any other doctors or nurses pull even half the shit Lewis has for him at this point? No, so maybe they should stop being dicks. Plus Danny would have figured at least someone would ask about the run-in with the G.I.W. but they either didn’t care or didn’t want to deal with or question Lewis.
Lewis takes the time in-between surgeries to check in with Danny, tapping the green button mostly just to make sure he’s heard, “you still good?”.
Danny gets a little caught off guard by Lewis’s voice being louder, but it does make it obvious he’s talking to him, “I’mma dandy Danny. Been napping here and there. You really do rub people wrong, but they’re dicks so fuck ‘em. Also, you use bone saws a lot”.
Lewis screws up his face a bit, “I’m going to guess you figured that out by sound? In which case, how do you know what that sounds like that well?”.
“I’ve been playing a game of guess the medical tool. And dude, you won’t like that answer. No one does”.
Lewis shakes his head, “you've used one haven’t you?”.
Awkward chuckling, “here and there. It’s a much more pleasant way of smoothing over the ends of ribs I break off than metal files. And it’s a lot easier to just remove my ribs and access my spine through the front than try to go the back way”.
Lewis honestly feels ever so slightly like he’s talking to Vee. Talking about the disposability of body parts and the inconvenience of the human, or somewhat human in Danny case, body. “You’re not wrong and it is definitely better than a garage tool. You have an impressive pain tolerance”.
“Comes with the hero duties, I’ve been getting slammed into concrete at over five-hundred mph since my first weak. The first time I got cut in half was a trip though. Aren’t you supposed to be bone-cracking?”.
Lewis blinks, okay Danny was almost definitely more durable than Venom, “us surgeons get pretty decent breaks in-between most times, but yes. Though I would frankly rather have you hovering around for conversation than most of my underlings for assistance”.
Lewis gets up and straightens out his coat while Danny responds, “that would probably qualify as insanely creepy for either one of us to be doing. Me being an unauthorised voyeuristic helicopter. You being the guy doing the nitty-gritty while conversing with the sorta dead. Though technically, I could probably function as an assistant. Pretty sure that would be highly illegal though”.
Lewis chuckles, it would make work more interesting and enjoyable for sure...and less likely for him to be transferred. Though the hospital might freak out a little from someone actually seeming to be genuinely friendly with Lewis. “It would be, though I best get back at this point. Enjoy the surgery soundtrack”.
Danny just chuckles quietly.
Lewis snaps off his gloves as he leaves the OR, shift officially over and done with, so he can go deal with the mess Danny’s functionally made for him. Missing files, government dogs, a transferred patient that’s actually just completely missing, bandaging to redo, a technical fugitives belongings stashed in his car, a random hunter that will probably want to check in on Danny, how to explain Danny going home way sooner than planned -to both the hospital and his two hunter friends-, oh yeah and a super-powered half-dead teenager trapped in a thermos the size of his pinky nail stuffed in his wallet. Eddie’s and Vee’s problems were definitely a lot simpler, partly because they usually ate them. Just a couple of dead bodies, which sometimes were the problems.
Walking casually back to his car and hopping in, pushing the green button, “I’m going to take you to my place for the night if that’s fine?”.
“You do have a wife right? How you gonna explain this random kid? If you’re gonna leave me in here all night, then you owe me some serious pancakes or something”.
Lewis chuckles and shakes his head as he drives home, it was a bit of a long commute but he didn’t mind much. “Do you know how I met Eddie? Through my wife. They used to be engaged. And when the whole Vee and being Venom thing happened she let Vee body snatch her to save Eddie’s butt. Said body-snatching also included biting a mercenaries head off”, chuckling some more, “found out from Vee later, pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to find out, but Vee went back into Eddie’s body from Anne’s via a very intense kiss”.
“Was it right after the whole...uh, taking a bite out of crime...thing? That will never not be fucked up by the way. But okay, you’re wife’s weird too”.
Lewis smiles warmly, of course she was a bit strange, have to be to tolerate him. And he can’t really be bothered by Danny still disapproving of murder and cannibalism. But at least he was making jokes about it now instead of having a mild meltdown, positives Lewis. “As I was told, it was explicitly directly after, Vee was very pleased about that. Anne, not so much. Eddie...I really don’t know but I’d say he was cool with it. And yes, she’s a bit odd herself. She’s also a lawyer”.
Danny laughs, that was a bit ironic that someone working within the law was explicitly and emphatically friends with two someone’s severely outside of it, “a morally questionable lawyer, a morbid socially unacceptable doctor, a moonlighting murderer muckraker reporter, and an exiled body-snatching alien. That’s one Hell of a quartet. Got a name yet?”.
Lewis raises an eyebrow, name? Though yeah they were an odd group, “no? What do you mean by name? And in that case, you’re an over-protective paranoid hero halfa”.
Danny chuckles, that was accurate, “true story. My group are the Defect Quartet. ‘Cause we’re all too strange and outside of the norm to be anything but defective. Used to be the Weirdo Trio before Val came along. Before that, the nerd herd. The goth, the geek, the gunner, and the ghost. An insanely wealthy vegan social activist goth, an absurdly carnivorous hacker geek, a riches to rags pessimist weapons enthusiast, and a punny battered ghostly hero. Though I’m usually called the graceless or the gauche. Since the ghost thing ain’t public knowledge”.
Lewis shakes his head, so this was a teenager thing. “Well ‘defect’ definitely doesn’t suit my group so to speak. We’re all rather successful and accomplished”.
“That doesn’t mean shit. I was on the cover of genius magazine once. Saved the purple-backed gorillas from going extinct”.
“That’s one thing, not a career”.
“I like how that’s your response, not general confusion. We’re teens, we shouldn’t have careers”.
Lewis nods, very true, but with how Danny lived, “what do you even intend to do? Eddie only gets away with the vigilante side gig because he’s his own boss mostly and even when he’s not, he’s on his own schedule. He can only really do that because he had already built up a name for himself. That and he lives extremely low budget”.
Danny groans exaggeratedly, adults and their ‘what are you gonna do with your life’ and ‘you need to think about your future young man’ and ‘what are your plans? How are going to support yourself’ and ‘hobbies are fine but you need a real focus’. Groaning a second time for emphasis, “don't know ‘bout Val. Sam’s the only heir in her family, she doesn’t really have a choice what she does, Manson’s don’t work. Tucker’s either going into politics, the government, or rising up into ownership of a tech company. I wanted to be an astronaut but my physiology makes that impossible, if my folks chill it with the ghost hate then I’ll probably take over FentonWorks. Otherwise, I got nothing. Well, human wise anyway. Could just fuck off to the Zone-”.
“Kid, no. Running away is not how you fix or achieve something. You’re right about NASA though. We’ve got a long drive, so what else you got?”.
Danny groans again, “nada. My grades are shit, I’d have to be able to run my own schedule and be able to drop it like someone just set it on fire at any moment. Because superheroing is not a side gig, it’s the main gig. And technically, running off to the Zone isn’t running from my problems. I belong there as much as I do here. Sure I was born here, but so were most ghosts”.
Lewis tilts his head, so that was another different, Danny valued and placed the vigilantism as top priority. And fine, ghosts did belong to the Zone. “that’s fair. But what would you even do there?”.
Danny snickers making Lewis a little cautious of the response, “ghosts are pretty free things. Build and protect your lair, satisfy your Obsession. If you’re part of a clan or kingdom then it’s a fair bit more”, chuckling because at this point might as well just startle the guy, “if I moved there I’d probably rise to claim my place as King properly”.
Lewis coughs, unsure if that’s a joke, “King?”.
Danny chuckles, Lewis able to hear the shit-eating grin in his voice, “I’m a prince, Lewis. In two kingdoms actually. A knight in four and worshipped as a god by one clan. Don’t ask how that last one happened because I don’t know. They’ve been calling me ‘Great One’ and ‘Saviour’ since I first ran into them”, Lewis is silent so Danny laughs and just continues, “Sam’s also a Princess in one and knighted in two. Tuck’s a Baka, meaning prince but in Egyptian, in one and knighted in two. Val’s the exception”.
Lewis blinks and watches the road before shaking his head, Danny’s life was legitimately completely crazy, “you absolutely have the strangest life. I’m not sure if I should fear the idea of you being a king”. He clearly could act the role and have a commanding presence, but he was firmly still a disaster.
“You should have seen the other guy! He was so bad they locked him in what was basically a coma for, like, over a thousand years. When he woke up they all fled. I found out and through some crazy bullshit wound up beating him back into a coma. The other king who became my punching bag, abducted and tried to forcibly wed Sam, trapped his kingdom into a no happiness allowed technology-free dark age and abused his sister. His sister’s queen now but I’m considered prince and heir to the throne should she fade”.
Lewis shakes his head, yeah was kind of hard to do worse than that, “so, tyrants then? Who the heck’s ruling the first one?”.
“Uhhhh, no one? Hasn’t been ruled in forever so no ruler is basically the norm now. Kind of unnecessary. But for, like, who does the duties. A collection of asshole ghosts who can only watch but never interfere. They hate me. Like, a lot. Tried to assassinate me once. Anyway, that particular throne is more representative. A figurehead but with power if they want. Sorta a make it your own and do whatever you want kind of role”.
“So the Queen of England? But with even less responsibilities? That barely counts as a king or prince”.
Danny chuckles, “so long as nothing threatens the entirety of the Zone or ghosts. I’m understating the role a bit. See humans are all broken up yeah? You’re not united under the Earth or whatever. Well, ghosts are united under the Zone as a whole. Meaning there’s a ruler of the entire Zone. The King, or Prince right now, Of Ghosts. The Ghost King, the Ghost Prince. Yeeeeaaaaah”.
Lewis pulls into his driveway and just stares forward for a bit, “are you, are you trying to tell me you’re the rightful ruler of an entire species and dimension?”.
“Yes? Pretty much yeah. And your car turned off. We there yet? You gonna let me outta here?”.
Lewis is nearly having a mild freak out of his own. This random child of long-time friends is the prince and thus future king of an entire species. Basically the most powerful ruler even remotely possible. And he’s in Lewis’s wallet, complains about weak coffee, gets beat up by bullies, and his seemingly biggest problem is what his folks think of him. The utter normalcy of that is kind of jarring but also really calming. Shaking his head, “yes, yeah. Your tail working yet?”.
Danny snorts, “looks like I freaked ya again. And I don’t fucking know dude, I don’t actually have a body at the moment. Jus a disembodied voice and mind floating in a thermos full of ectoplasm”.
Lewis tilts his head, Vee’s probably said that before; being a technical liquid and all. Just floating in a test tank thing instead of a soup thermos. Shrugging and taking out his wallet, unclipping the thermos and going through the motions of getting Danny out. Which is still very strange. As Danny comes out via another bream of light, basically laying across the shotgun seat and looking slightly disoriented.
Danny shakes his head and smirks, “THE DANNY IS FREE! FOR NO CYLINDRICAL SOUP CAN CAN HOLD HIM!”.
Lewis looks at the thermos and quirks an eyebrow. Danny, spotting this, promptly grabs his thermos, “and I’ll be taking that back now”. Which Lewis chuckles at. While Danny looks out the window at Lewis’s house, tilting his head, huh, it was a bit smaller than expected.
While Lewis looks down and notes that Danny’s black tail is wiggling somewhat again, good. Before getting out of the car and holding the door open, “you should probably make yourself invisible at least until we’re inside”.
Danny chuckles and does that as he floats out after Lewis. He was damn happy to be floating again, zipping around the house some and winding through things; Lewis unawares. Even if it was a bit difficult and jerky. Shaking his head at Lewis holding the door open a bit awkwardly. Whispering at him, “I can go through things remember? Didn’t need to open the door at all”.
Lewis rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he heads into the kitchen, “that would be rather rude of you”.
Danny chuckles as he seats himself on one of the little stools, coiling his tail up in case this ‘Anne’ walks in. Popping back into visibility, and petting the cat that comes up, “I’ve stolen people's cups of water while flying through airplanes. It’s actually so common it’s something planes flying over Amity warn their passengers about, the random dead teen who might fly through the floor and take your drinks or food. But at least he says thank you?”.
Lewis shakes his head as he starts on making a noodle dish, “at least most of that is free”. Mixing in the broth and debating what else to put in, tilting his head around, “what kinds of veggies and meats do you like?”.
Danny shrugs, he’ll eat almost anything, “I’ve eaten sporks. Just don’t serve me toast and you’re good”.
Lewis points at him as he gets peppers and celery, “Eddie and Vee have eaten probably a little of everything at this point. Doesn’t mean they don’t have tastes”.
Danny stares at him and waits for him to turn around before grabbing one of the knives on the table -why do they keep them on the table of all places?- and just swallows it.
Lewis gives him a rather unimpressed look, which Danny’s slightly miffed about. At least Sam looked at him with disgust. While Lewis says, “those are expensive you know”. Danny rolls his eyes and phases the knife out of his stomach and waves it around, stabbing one of the larger pieces of pepper as Lewis puts his plate down.
Both turn their heads to the door as they can both hear a key going in the lock. Lewis blinks and realises a slight error on his part, looking at Danny quickly, “wife saw me googling you as Phantom. Doesn’t know names or what your human self looks like, so positives”.
Danny groans and glares at Lewis, he can smell it’s a girl and it matches the other prominent human scent in the house so he transforms and glares a little harder at Lewis. Taking the knife out of his mouth and stabbing another pepper a bit unnecessarily aggressively, “not cool doc“. Of course, this means there’s no damn point in hiding the tail, so he just lets it wind around the stool legs.
Lewis shrugs, he wasn’t about to claim to be perfect, as Anne walks in.
Anne looks at the table only glancing at the glowing black and white teenager with a knife in his mouth for a beat before nonchalantly taking off her shoes, “hi honey and hello patient that someone is decidedly not supposed to be bringing home”.
Lewis smiles, “guys with guns came to abduct him”. Danny glares at him slightly. While Anne shakes her head, “at least they weren’t successful this time”, as she walks up and kisses Lewis on the cheek and sits at the table.
Danny looks at her, “seriously? That’s all the reaction you’re gonna give me?”.
Lewis just smirks as he eats his food. Anne looking Danny over before giving him a sweet smile and patting his head, “interesting voice you’ve got, just don’t go making Dan a tag-along for blowing up rockets”.
Lewis looks between the two a little awkwardly as Danny winces, which Anne definitely notices and raises an eyebrow at Lewis. No one saying anything for a bit before the cat sticks his tail in Danny’s face. Effectively breaking the growing tension as Danny chuckles, “if your name’s Maddie, I will be very concerned”.
Anne shakes her head, “mines Anne”.
“No, the cat. An evil Frootloop has a cat named Maddie”.
Anne shakes her head, “no, he’s Mr. Belvedere”. While Lewis finds it arguably quite creepy one of Danny’s enemy’s named their cat after Danny’s mom.
Danny smiles and pokes the cat, mentally shaking off the whole ‘Dan’ name, figuring he should probably attempt at getting used to that since his folks are going to call Lewis that too. “Well hello then. I probably smell pretty weird”.
Lewis thinks that’s probably an understatement but he was used to Vee’s scent by now so more strange smelling people isn’t probably all the weird.
Mr. Belvedere meanwhile, is just pleased that this strange smelling and looking creature isn’t attempting to bite him. Even if this one seems to be a predator just like the other one. This one seems at least a little similar to the other glowing creatures he sees sometimes. He likes to chase the little ones around but this one is clearly far stronger. He can tell when It touches him, the power thrumming under Its long paws so similar to the twolegs he lives with. Like the other strange creature, this one can look just like the twolegs he’s familiar with. He finds that is quite a useful trick, blending in with potential prey and tricking other predators into underestimating them. He’s seen how the occasional twoleg that fancies Itself a predator wound up the prey for the other strange creature. He hopes that one enjoys Its plentiful meals. Tilting his head at this strange creature, wondering if It stalks twolegs too. Putting on a protective front, because these are his twolegs, and demanding, “you best not hunt my twolegs”. He had to bat at the black part of the other strange predator before It got the messages to not nip at his Twolegs. Only he gets to do that.
Danny looks at the cat, which has his ears pinned back and Danny can easily pick up on the stiff battle-ready posture. How he partly blocks Danny’s line of view of Anne, it was obvious the cat was being protective. Officially glad this is a cat, not a dog, as cats were much more sensitive to ghosts. Meaning kitty would be able to somewhat understand ghost speak. Making sure to keep his fangs retracted, “I̛’̶m a̕ ͠p͏͏̧r͞͝o̵͟͜t҉͘e̷̸c͝͏̛t҉įv̴͞e̛ th̢̡i͜͏̵n͏g̵̵͝.̸̸ ̕͠I͠ ̕do̸n’͝t͟ ̧h̸̡ar̵m͢ ̵͞͞m͠or̨͟͞t̨a̛lş”. Mr. Belvedere seems pacified by that and promptly stalks off, laying on the ground to clean over his fur.
Lewis quirks an eyebrow, “what was that about?”. While Anne laughs lightly, mouthing ‘wow’, before saying, “he listened to you I think, that’s quite the feat”.
Danny chuckles and rubs his neck, “he was being protective of you. So I just told him I wasn’t a threat. Cats are more sensitive to ghosts, so they can understand us to a degree”.
Anne tilts her head, “you’re a ghost?”, looking at Lewis, “why would a ghost need a surgeon?”.
Danny smirks and stretches his arms out some, “okay cool, you didn’t go opening your yap much”, shrugging, “but you know shit. You’re murder buddies know shit. Don’t know your wife though. So maybe”.
Anne nearly snorts over ‘murder buddies’, very similar to ‘murder friends’ and a bit surprised that someone Dan described as ‘more moral than every doctor ever’ is tolerant of said murder friends. Shaking her head but smiling slightly, “I’m surprised you’re okay with those two. Pleased, but surprised. Which is good, because I absolutely will protect them if you threaten them”.
Danny chuckles a bit meanly but finishes off his food before responding, “you could attempt to sure. There’s a reason people make entire careers out of and dedicate their whole lives to fighting things like me, yet still find themselves unsuccessful and outmatched. But I’m no threat, so long as my humans aren’t threatened. I’m not okay with what they do, I’m okay with why they do it”.
Anne crosses her arms, “I've helped destroy body-snatching world-destroying aliens. I can fight very dirty”.
Danny snorts, “a lawyer? Fighting dirty? Why I never. Won’t do any good though, I never expect fair fights”, tilting his head and chuckling, “that’s what happens when you’re archenemy’s entire thing is being underhanded and fighting dirty. Not to mention one of the wealthiest people in the world, basically a mad scientist, and politically skilled”.
Lewis and Anne share a look, Lewis pointing at Danny, “that sounds a lot like Drake. Filthy rich mad scientist with his foot in politics. Also had the other surviving Symbiote”, looking at Anne, “Riot right?”, at Anne’s nod Lewis continues, “Riot was older, stronger, more abilities and pretty well played into Drakes desires to trick him”.
Anne nods, “Drake was a fool”.
Danny tilts his head, that was freakishly similar to Vlad, “so Drake’s the crazy entrepreneur who brought them here from space? Which by the way, is still super awesome because space! And yeah, that’s sounds really similar to the Frootloop. Just both Drake and Riot combined into one batshit crazy prick. Throw in a bunch of lackies and way too much free time”, tilting his head and pointing at Lewis, “and didn’t you say crazy human was trying to improve humanity or something? Make them able to survive in space?”, at Lewis’s nod and the curious look to his eyes, Danny continues, “yeah, my unlovable Frootloop pretty well never has good reasons for anything. Very selfish and will do anything from attempting to blow people up with nanobots to cloning and very extreme inhumane experimentation”, shrugging, “usually it’s for power, even more money, to murder one very specific guy, to get the women he’s Obsessed with, or to force me to be his son”.
Lewis nods, conceding that those motivations weren’t remotely positive and got progressively more strange. Anne shakes her head ever so slightly, “Drake would likely have approved any inhumane practices to get what he wanted. Even if he had marginally better reasons”.
Danny points at her, “Frootloop does everything himself. His lackies are basically just scouts and attack dogs. Who would have thought, a sorta politician dirtbag who actually does the nasty work”, yawning and nodding at Lewis, “soooo, you gonna trace lines on my skin with your silver sharp friends?”.
Anne makes a point to not visually react to that, this kid, who’s name she still didn’t have, was quite a bit like Lewis, Eddie and Vee. There was also a level of restraint and caution to him, was a bit like her.
Lewis shakes his head but gets up to fetch his supplies, “that won’t be necessary for redoing bandaging and burns. Though please let me take off the braces”, pausing to point at him, “and make them actually on you”. Danny rolls his eyes but transforms under them to make them on top but Phantom designed.
Anne blinks, that was almost as startling as Vee randomly becoming or changing Eddie’s clothing. Looking to Lewis, “I’m truly impressed a ghost can get injured enough for all that”.
Lewis shouts from a few rooms over, “he’s not! Just pretending to be!”.
Anne looks to Danny with ‘why are you putting him through this?’ eyebrows. Danny chuckles, “the hospital and my family would be suspicious if I didn’t play injured. Since none of them know I’m a ghost and thus heal super fast”.
Lewis comes back in and pulls a stool over by Danny. Anne looks at him slightly unimpressed, “do I want to know? Or is this a plausible deniability thing?”.
Danny sighs and leans back wistfully as Lewis removes the second wrist/hand brace, “I wish more people didn’t question my crap and just wrote it off as ‘I probably shouldn’t know’”.
Anne levels him with a slight glare, “Eddie knows not to abuse it, you should know that too. Especially since it’s clear you’re going to be close with and involved with my family. Eddie’s an asshole but he only keeps the highly legally questionable actions to himself”.
Danny gives a bit of a shit-eating grin, “my existence is highly legally and logically questionable”.
“Does it involve murder? No? Then I want to hear it”.
Danny rolls his eyes, “most ghosties didn’t die pleasantly so technically.....”.
Lewis looks at Danny with a slightly unimpressed glare, “considering what little you have said of the how, I don’t believe murdered applies to you”.
Danny points at Lewis after slipping off the torso brace, “at the very least it’s negligent homicide. Because seriously? who leaves a secondary on switch inside an inter-dimensional portal and forgets about it. And who dares someone to walk inside it?”.
Lewis points at him, “and who willing does it? Also, I need this suit off”.
Debating who’s at fault and the definition of ‘the crime’ is pretty normal for Anne, just not usually debating it with the ‘victim’ when it’s about murder, “verbal dares can’t be reasonably proven and won’t hold up before any court of law. If you walked in of your own free will, likely aware of the fact that doing so was almost certainly unsafe, you’re the one who committed negligent homicide”, waving her hand around, “but no one’s going to charge the dead with their own death. If someone tries, then consider me your lawyer, because I absolutely want to be on that case”.
Danny blinks and starts laughing, unzipping and peeling off his suit and letting it float around his waist, simply phasing off the bandaging, “lady you do not want to be my lawyer. I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t even hold up in ghost court. Besides, I don’t care if I get charged with shit. I’ll just blow up the prison again. Or make time paradoxes so they can’t sentence me to destruction, again. But I’m a minor and it’s partly my parents' fault. Family house is a death trap. There’s probably a million cases of negligence to be made”.
Lewis, asking the thing that really matters as he inspects Danny’s skin, noting that it’s much colder now and the scars are barely visible, “you destroyed a prison? Why?”.
While Anne frowns tightly, that would be negligent if what killed him was just left around in the house unsecured. Definitely child endangerment as well. But he had made it clear enough that he doesn’t want them in trouble, “yes, that does change it a fair bit”, tilting her head, “though being a lawyer in ghost court would certainly be a new challenge”.
While Danny points at Lewis, “I’ve blown it up once or twice a year so far. The Warden hates me, so he gives me every charge he can think up. He’s made new rules on the spot to charge me with it. Last time he yelled the sentence I owed it was, like, over fifty thousand”, while Lewis just looks slightly impressed, Danny points at Anne, “ghost laws are probably both less and more complicated. Minora law, Majora law, the Seals, Commons Of The Deathless Unfades, Commons Of The Undead, the Kings Decrees, and The Law Of Ages”, shrugging, “ghosts are pretty lawless though, so unless you really fuck up, no one really gives a damn....except Walker, who’s that one Warden”.
Anne leans forward as Lewis finishes wrapping Danny’s arm, letting Danny lower his arm...well one anyway as he wraps the other, Anne inquiring, “is there books on these? Could you borrow them?”.
That was not what Danny was expecting, she really likes what she does, “Walker’s got his own special rule book, A.K.A. it’s not official at all. But yeah there’s books. Not for the Commons though, those are, like, forbidden knowledge for mortals; even many ghosts. And there isn’t any Kings Decrees right now”.
Lewis eyeballs Danny who blushes slightly, making it very obvious that these decrees were basically his to make. While Anne quints slightly, “why would law be forbidden? That is explicitly a disclosure violation”.
Danny shakes his head as Lewis goes about putting the braces back on, “Commons only apply to those specified. And they know about what they entail”, yawning again, course he knew what both Commons were about. Since ClockWork was an Unfade and Danny was an Undead.
The two adults shake their heads and basically carry the partly floating sleepy teen to the spare bedroom. Eddie wouldn’t mind and Vee would only bitch about the strangers' scent for a little bit. Anne nodding, “that’s a bit better then”.
Danny mumbles from the bed as Anne’s dragging Lewis off. “By the way doc? Tots forgot. Undead’s another term for halfa”.
Lewis crawls into bed seriously wondering what was in this special section of ghost law -still pleasantly surprised that was a thing- that applied to Danny.
Anne wakes up that morning and walks out of the bedroom door, hearing someone going through the kitchen. Walking in cautiously only to see a black-haired teen inside one of the cupboards, watching as he sticks his head and one arm out, box of crackers in his mouth. ���Who are you and why are you in my house?”.
“Yurf iimpif’d ve”, she stares him down so he spits out the box on the ground, “you invited me. Technically Lewis, but still”, before slipping out of the cupboard and grabbing the crackers.
It clicks pretty much as soon as she sees the kid has a black misty tail instead of legs; same as the ghost. Then mentally slapping herself for not recognising the face and hairstyle, “you’re the patient. You look very human for a ghost. You also still haven’t told me your name”.
“That’s me! And-”, Danny gets cut off by the microwave.
Microwave: “Crap fuck I think it work-oh bullshit you idiot, we’ve been trying for-no seriously I swore I heard him-oh that’s crap-I don’t care if it’s crap you better have found him-why does no one believe in me?-because you’re a fucking cree-hey! Look at me I’m glori-more like dead, I will personally shove my boot up your ass if y-oh I’d like to see you try! Go on! My ass is fucking wide-what the fuck is wrong with both of you? How bout I just start shooting stuff?-go right ahead fuck if I care-if you destroy Cheryl I will shank you with her corpse!-”.
Lewis walks in at this point looking like he slept hard yet was still impeccable, he grabs a coffee and just stares at the microwave.
Microwave: “-oh shove it you walking animal corpse garbage bag-no you shove it ya fucking lawnmower-I vote we feed both of you to the plant-she has better tastes than that-at least she enjoys some proper mea-HOW ABOUT YOU LOWJACK YOUR ASS OFF AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL-oh don’t you get smarmy with me, I fucking hijack shit-do I care? NO, just fucking-how about this you two colossal twats! YOU BETTER PICK UP OR ONE ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT IS GOING TO JACK OFF YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE INTO THE SEA!-why the fuck would I do that to a house?-are you claiming to have even an ounce of standards?-”.
Danny lays on the floor and just starts wheezing and mutters, “how the fuck do you pick up a microwave call....”.
Lewis points his coffee cup rim at Danny, “I’m more curious about how they called a microwave”.
Anne shakes her head, “I’m just glad I’m a morning person”.
Microwave: “-oh GO EAT SOCK-wait shut the fuck up! I totally heard someone-of course you fucking did! You’re probably confusing some old lady!-”.
Anne, sounding almost offended, “I’m not that old”.
Microwave: “-oh fuck damn a lady! Hello-the fuck is wrong with you? We’re trying to make sure someone’s not fucking dead or some shit! She probably thinks you’re like twelve-he is twelve-oh fuck you! I could totally date an older woman!-so what I’m hearing is you’re twelve-FUCK OFF AND EAT A TEN FOOT SNOW MONSTER! IT FITS WITH YOUR STUPID DIET!-OH YOU WANNA GO THERE BLOODMOUTH! HOW ABOUT YOU FIND THE FIVE FOOT ONE FIRST!-”.
Danny wheezes but shouts at the microwave, “five foot four you asshole!”.
Microwave: “FUCK OFF DANNY THIS DOESN'T INVOLVE YO-DANNY!-ARE YOU OKAY! -DID YOU DIE!-IF YOU’RE BEING DISSECTED PLEASE DON’T SCREAM BY THE MIC!-WHAT THE FUCK TUCKER?!?-”.
Danny floats up and shouts right at the microwave, “SHUT THE FUCK UP! You’re confusing Doc and his lady!”.
Anne blinks, speaking into her hands, “confused might be understating it”.
Microwave: “Okay okay, shhhh shhhh, all o’ y’all shut up. Danny dude, you fucking asshole. Didn’t even fucking call. You better be fucking dying or I will personally finish what you started. Stitch and fucking ditch dude. Not cool. Now are you dying a horrible slow and painful death at the hands of a bunch of idiots that Sam will have to bludgeon to death?-bludgeon? Are you underestimating me? I will personally stuff their organs with bramble thorns, turn them into scarecrows and beat the others up with said scarecrows if those fuckers hurt hi-”.
Danny clears his throat, “not to get in the way of your dramatics Sam, but I’m fine. Am I not allowed to sleep?”.
Microwave: “USE LEWIS’S PHONE!”.
Lewis nods, “fair point”.
Danny sticks his arms out to the side, “I got distracted by politics!”.
Microwave: “Oh, that’s reasonable then. So you’re not being tortured or something?”.
Danny chuckles and shakes his head, “no Tuck, no I’m not”.
Microwave: “Oh good then. You, go tell his folks he’s fine and with doctor dude. Danny, you absolute asshole, Ancients are you lucky we were able to get your parents to not go on a search and destroy mission. They went to go see you, we went with ‘cause we knew shit was going down, and they actually saw those white-suit twats leaving with the big ass transport truck. They nearly nuked them on the spot. Your dad can be terrifying”.
Danny rubs his neck, of course this had caused even more problems. But yeah, he probably should have called someone. Well at least no one had gotten hurt and the reminder that they would assault the government for him was rather heartwarming. “Thanks guys, that must have been a bi-”.
Microwave: “DANNY SWEETIE! Are you alright!”.
Danny chuckles slightly, “I’m fine mom”.
Anne is extremely confused at this point. Danny was a ghost and was apparently still ‘living’ with his living family? And why were the teens she’s assuming are his friends asking if he’s dead or dying? Ghost does mean dead, Danny had already confirmed he was dead. Inside jokes possibly? Or, Danny could look completely ‘alive’ so maybe they didn’t even know?
While Lewis walks closer to the microwave, this is definitely the strangest house call he’s ever been involved in, “he’s perfectly fine Maddie. He spent the night in my and my wife’s spare bedroom. I apologise for not informing you but it was special circumstances”.
Microwave: “oh don’t worry about that, we get it. So long as Danny-boy’s alright!-but what about his injuries? He can’t go back to the hospital with those men there”.
Lewis taps his chin, “well, the best option would be to have Danny here go home and I’ll deal with the hospital before taking him over. That way he isn’t without a skilled doctor. My place is impressively well equipped, So he’ll be fine here in the meantime”.
Microwave: “Yes that should work fine, thank you Dan. We’ll give you back to your friends sweetie-so we can get your things ready!”.
Danny groans quietly, seriously hoping they didn’t do anything to his room. There was more than a few questionable things in there, especially in the walls and floor.
Microwave: “Alright you reckless idiot, it’s just me and Tuck now. Valerie’s off looking for asshole agents to shoot at-oh Danny dude, I took samples from the quote-unquote ‘rain’. Pretty nasty shit. Paraparetic properties, corrosive, toxic fumes, tranquillising properties. Just oof dude. And doctor dude, before you ask, yes I did have the other patients files and stuff, it’s in your pager-move aside Tucker, you better have some damn food Danny-”.
Lewis and Anne both gape slightly as the microwave pops open and an apple rolls out, Danny easily catching it and then pulling out what looks to be a pop or a milkshake in a fast food cup. Danny rolling his eyes as he puts it on the table, closing the door, “mother-henning me much? I’m sorry for worrying you guys okay? And I promise I’m a not any deader, just work on making sure my house is actually safe”.
Microwave: “done and done dude, you look after yourself for a change ya?-Danny? Are you dating Valerie again, cause you better fuckin-AND I’M HANGING UP!”. The microwave beeps and Danny can’t help but float towards the ground and laugh.
Danny floats up and leans against the counter and picks up the apple, pointing at Lewis, “hopefully an apple a day won’t keep this doctor away. Whatcha gonna tell whoever the Zone happens to be above you?”, taking a bite out of the apple.
Anne shakes her head, that was almost as confusing as when Vee starts talking in Eddie’s head in the middle of conversations. Getting up and heading to get dressed, “you’re stranger than just a ghost, aren’t you?”.
Danny glances at the microwave, fuck it, “half-ghost!”. Danny gives her points for not even pausing in her walking.
Taking another bite and looking to Lewis, pointing over his shoulder and swallowing, “she’s used to weird crap getting dropped out of nowhere huh?”.
Lewis nods, firmly more curious over the apple that’s leaving green smears on Danny’s face, “Vee’s very blunt and sometimes gives way too much detail. What kind of apple is that?”.
Danny takes a sip of what he knows is a milkshake...well, ectoshake, “ghost food. Zones gots its own flora, fauna, ecosystem, etcetera. Part of how my body works is absorbing free-floating ectoplasm and converting it into my own. Expelling used stuff as latent ectoplasm. Kinda like breathing. Human side lets me self produce though. But-”, holding up the apple, “-ectofood is like putting on an oxygen mask or getting a transfusion. That, and just tastes good”.
Danny’s a little concerned as Lewis leans over the ectoshake, “don’t drink that. You’ll hurt yourself”. Lewis waves him off, “corrosive, toxic, poisonous; I remember. I like my throat and stomach intact”.
Danny wipes his face and both turn, hearing Anne’s heels clicking on the floor. Danny shakes his head at the sharp pantsuit, “please tell me Eddie doesn’t also dress absurdly impeccably and put together? Cause I dress like I fished my clothing out of slightly bio-hazardous dumpsters and am usually basically swimming in my clothing”.
Anne laughs slightly while Lewis laughs more noticeably, Anne shaking her head, “Eddie and well-dressed don’t exist in the same dimension. He often wears the same clothing for days and his clothing is usually lifted off criminals. Vee is his clothing sometimes”. Lewis nods, speaking and pointing at Anne, “he looks more put together when Vee has literally dressed him”.
Danny sighs, firmly ignoring that this guy just wears his victims clothing. Chuckling a little awkwardly, “I wore the same shirt and pants for a year. Didn’t even notice for the first four months. Kinda busy being all kinda dead. Though they were washed. I just happen to have three different pairs of the same clothing. Well one got destroyed via impalement, way too much blood”.
Anne blinks, Eddie said that once about his hair when he got himself drenched once. Lewis was right, they had a lot in common. Nodding with a smile at Danny, “you’ll get along, be good for Eddie I hope”, patting Lewis’s shoulder before giving him a quick kiss, “smart man, see you later, Dan dear”.
“Always honey, enjoy your day”.
Danny suppresses a wince and continues with his food while Lewis waves at him, “I’m going to deal with the hospital”. Danny just chuckles and watches him go.
Danny sits watching tv and chipping away at the ectoshake, chuckling over how much more erratically his tail’s vibrating and wiggle when left to its own devices now. Ancients did it ever make it easy to tell how healthy he, particularly how healthy his ghost half, was. Curling the tip into his hand and giving it a good more awake look over, there was still tiny holes but they were pretty well done away with at this point. Definitely hurt a little, but for him that wasn’t really noticeable.
Putting down the shake and deciding to float around some, use up a bit of the excess ectoenergy. It was practically singing in his veins and peaking in on Lewis would just be a little too boring right now. That’s one aspect of being in a powerful position that Danny is pretty well not envious of; dealing with underlings, paperwork, and being the one at fault if shit goes south. Sure Danny already got blamed for just short of everything by many adults; Phantom and Fenton. But that wasn’t for, like, executive decisions or situations with many good choices. Most of Danny’s crap was either: protect and thusly deal with/get blamed for the fall out (poor grades, damages, skipped class, being noisy, anti-social, pissing off hunters in general) or let someone or something be genuinely harmed. Pretty easy obvious choice. One he knows he can’t really choose differently on, Obsession and all that. Leadership and powerful roles were less black and white.
Danny snickers and starts intangibly snooping through Lewis’s cupboards for weird foods or anything funny really. Only for a box of caramelised eel to fall through his head, “alright that’s pretty odd, at least it’s not, like, Venom’s leftovers or something”, Danny frowns, what would he do if he came across that? It’s not like he wouldn’t be able to tell, the smell would tip him off immediately. If it was just like....a chunk...he’d probably just stare at it and nope the fuck out, close the fridge or cupboard or whatever. Just firmly ignore it. But something like....a full-blown body?....he’d probably either freeze up or freak out. Or go really batshit. He’s never actually seen a dead body since the whole...Dan...thing. So it probably would not trigger good, kind, happy, parts of his brain. He imagines it would go one of two ways. Either it would bring out his inner Dan, which would be really bad. Or he’d go exactly the opposite, like when he actually dealt with him, protective and resolute. Which would be more likely, hopefully.
Lewis is firmly tickled pink, as far as his hospital was aware Danny had been transferred to Amity’s hospital. Which seems to have downright ridiculously horrible paperwork and systems for keeping track of patients; a lot of that actually seems to be Phantom’s fault because he just shows up with people randomly, even at two a.m.. People even seem to just leave without even bothering to check-out. That and apparently files get corrupted and possessed somewhat often. Lewis somehow doubts Danny and his friends are at fault for all of it. So no one will really raise any eyebrows at not being able to find Danny in the Amity hospital system. Even with Lewis still acting as his doctor and supposedly going between the two hospitals. Pushing his study door open, all that really mattered now was when Danny wanted to head home and watching out for those agents. Because, of course, if the same three agents spot him at the Fenton’s house it’ll tip them off.
Looking around the living-room, slightly surprised he’s not watching tv and resting like he should be. Walking into the kitchen and quirking an eyebrow over what he’s sure is part of Danny’s tail sticking out through the sink countertop; looks a bit like someone just left a sliced in half black circle on the counter, that moves. Which definitely reminds him of Vee, just seeing random bits of black something was pretty come-by. “What are you doing?”, walking over as the tail just moves through the countertop and slips fully through it like it’s not really there. Before Danny’s head just pokes up through it, “snooping, seeing some of the weird stuff people have in their house is interesting and a good way to find their suspicious shit”.
This just serves to remind Lewis just how paranoid Danny is, “well I wouldn’t recommend doing that at Eddie’s apartment. If those two have something hidden I’d rather it stay that way. Anyway, the hospital thinks you’re in Amity’s hospital. But your cities hospital has probably the worst systems I’ve ever seen, so you not actually being there won’t be noticed”.
If anything Danny’s actually more likely to look through their place, partly out of morbid curiosity and partly just out of needing to make sure there’s nothing bad. Shrugging and phasing out of the cupboards/sink, sitting on the countertop, “if you’re fine with possibly accidentally setting off a weapon or some other device, then snooping the Fenton household is really interesting even if you live there. But yeah, shouldn’t really snoop my room in truth. And you’re still going to be functionally moving in right? Cause if you now have to go through Amity’s hospital for approval, that’ll be a problem”.
Lewis pours himself some coffee, pushing a cup to Danny as well. It was fairly obvious why looking for hidden stuff where Eddie, or more specifically Vee, lived was probably a bad and unpleasant idea. There is no way either of them clean up everything, and he firmly doubts Vee doesn’t take home snacks; whether Eddie knows or not would be debatable. The only things Lewis can think Danny might hide would be stuff good for his ghost part, medical stuff, and maybe weapons. “What could be so bad in your room? Other than to your parents anyway. You are a teenager after all. And you do have a lot in common with Eddie, the things he hid from his, I don’t really wann-”.
Danny pulls a face and cuts him off, “Lewis! Ancients no! Even if I did hide or have whatever I think you happen to be implying -which I don’t, do you seriously think I have time or focus on that?- why I’d be concerned about that? My room’s probably a weapons and bio hazard”, shaking his head and glaring at Lewis’s smirk, “stop that you”, rolling his eyes at Lewis just smirking more, “ignoring your bullshit now. As I like to say, my room would make a crime-scene investigator cry, the cleanup crew might just quit outright”.
Lewis quirks an eyebrow, “okay, why? Also, why would it be a problem if I needed Amity’s hospitals' approval? I don’t, but curiosity”. Amity’s Hospital didn’t seem to have much in the way of actually followed rules and regulations. Sure his hospital was a little lenient, from what he’d research it seemed every hospital that dealt with Amity Parkers was, but his hospital was still much more likely to say no.
Danny chuckles, he’d almost like to see some poor out of town investigators go through his room with a fine-toothed comb, “I give myself and get medical treatment in my room Lewis, and I don’t have to worry about infections; so how clean my tools and supplies happens to be doesn’t really matter. If you pulled up my carpet and rung it out, it would bleed. And since I can phase through stuff-”, Danny sticks his cup through the wall and just leaves it in there, “-my walls and floor are my cabinets for everything really questionable or dangerous. I know for a fact there’s at least six bombs in the floor. Lots and lots of stolen property, powerful ghost artefacts. One of my walls is filled with blood and ‘plasm bags, if someone cut that wall open they would literally get a bloodbath”, taking his coffee out of the wall and sipping at it, “and because Amity’s hospital doesn’t allow anyone under their insurance to go inside FentonWorks. I’ve had the hospital head flat-out say he’d put me, as Phantom, on payroll purely to deal with them and their house. Because being dead apparently counts as a preexisting condition that makes me excluded from their insurance”.
Well, Lewis thinks, that’s one way to get out of covering employees; Anne would have a field day with that. And if Vee heard how Danny keeps his room, apparently anyway, they’d nag at Eddie over ‘why can’t we keep snacks in the walls? Eddie?!?’. Which is probably a conversation that would horrify both Eddie and Danny in two very different ways. “I’m going to guess you turned that offer down? And if I can handle being around Vee when they didn’t like me and saw me as the bad guy who attack them with the noisy death machine, I can handle the Fenton house”, pointing his cup at Danny, “and why did you do that to your room? As a doctor, especially your doctor, I definitely can’t approve of using dirty tools and just leaving your mess around”.
Danny rubs at his neck and glances at the clock, Lewis probably didn’t work till the afternoon, “death machine? Now it’s my turn to guess, they have a weakness like how anti-ecto stuff hurts me. And you’re damn right, I am on no one’s payroll”, rolling his eyes some, “and it’s either I leave it in my room, can’t go dumping samples from me anywhere, or I burn it. Once they get really bad, I always burn them. With ecto-fire to be specific. Also, I’m lazy where I can be, namely my own health”, pointing at the clock, “I’m guessing you don’t work till late?”.
Lewis shakes his head, at least Danny was honest, “correct, late shift today; and I’d say you should care about your health but that would be of as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Though you do have a point, considering your friends destroyed all your samples”, shaking his head with a slight smile, “your guess is right. Loud high pitched sounds and fire, so MRI’s aren’t such a good idea. Basically vibrated right out of Eddie’s skin, lots of screaming and what was basically a seizure”.
“Oof, sounds like how I died. ‘Cept even more screaming. Like, the entire Zone heard that shit. Also-”, Danny lifts up a finger and lets an ecto-flame burn above it, “-I can be a firebug. And yeah, I’m called a self-sacrificial fool for a reason. I’m durable enough to afford to be”.
Lewis shakes his head, just how many powers did Danny have? “Still should at least somewhat care about your own self. You better not set my friends on fire, and at this point, you might as well just give me a list of abilities instead of just dropping them one by one”.
Danny points at him and telekinetically brings over the rest of his ecto-shake, “they better not hurt my humans. And dude, I frequently forget my powers. That list will not be complete”.
Lewis isn’t sure if that’s worrying, impressive, or sad. Watching the floating drink and Danny drink from it without dropping eye-contact, “a list would still be nice and I won’t make promises for them but I genuinely believe they’ll behave”.
Danny grumbles, “they better”, before leaning back and shrugging, “yeah I guess randomly springing that, kind of lost the dramatic flare after the duplication stunt”.
“Yeah, not sure you could pull something more strange. At least Vee’s ability to make multiple heads out of Eddie doesn’t result in a whole nother separate body”.
Danny gives a devilish grin before opening his mouth and making an arm pop out and wave at Lewis before opening seventeen eyes all over it and making them strobe blue and green. Biting the arm off to dissipate into green fog, seeping into the skin on his face. Smirking at Lewis’s obviously restrained shock, “a lesson best remembered with me, never tempt or encourage body horror. I love that shit”.
Lewis blinks a few times, he’s both interested to see just how far or extreme Danny could take this and completely wanting to nope out of seeing that. “I am legitimately going to ask you to never give Vee ideas. They do enough weird shit to and with Eddie’s body. Can you just, replicate any part of your body anywhere and without limit?”.
Danny nods, “pretty much. But it uses up ectoplasm and I don’t have an endless supply of that. I think the most heads I’ve had at once was, like, thirty-two. I max out at four full duplicates. Duplicates take way more energy than just general body manipulation. I could pretty well just fill this room with random body parts via body manipulation”.
Okay Lewis does not need to see that, still extremely interested though. He won’t say no if Danny just does it or offers. He’s not going to make a request though. “So that’s body manipulation, duplication, intangibility, invisibility, transformation, levitation, pyrokinesis, healing factor, heightened durability, and heightened senses. You also said you had most of the same as my friends. So enhanced strength, speed, and just in general defying logic”.
Danny shakes his head, but chuckles, “Ancients fine, that’s not even half”, Lewis quirks an eyebrow as Danny just starts counting off on his fingers for added flare, “so to add on to what you listed. Everything’s ecto-energy in some way generally. Energy beams, blasts, discs, waves, balls, shields and constructs. Repulsion field and power absorption. Enhancement, as in I can increase my strength beyond its natural level. Electrocution and more general shapeshifting. Photokinesis, Ectokinesis and cryokinesis. Ghost sense and absolute dark vision. I learn super quick, about fourteen hours for new skills or languages. Immunity to some ghost attacks in general, and some anti-ghost stuff while human. Working on teleportation and portal creation, possibly a sleep ray”, Danny tilts his head, “um, oh right. Exorcism, as in I can tear a ghost out of someone; might be able to tear Vee out of Eddie like that actually. Overshadowing of people, technology, and dreams. Like, you know how Vee is basically inside of and able to control Eddie? Yeah that’s basically overshadowing. Possessing someone or something”, chuckling, “could maybe possess Vee, who’s basically possessing Eddie. That would be a trip. And lastly, my sort of trump card power cause it’s super fucking strong. My Ghostly Wail, a super-sonic wail. If I really try I could take out entire cities with it”, shrugging and chuckling a bit awkwardly Lewis just staring at him with a slowly cooling coffee, “did warn ya and then there are the powers I had only temporarily. Weather manipulation and reality control. Oh, also had a time medallion fused in my chest for a while, which excluded me from time itself. By the by, reality control means I could basically do anything. Turned a lady into a duck, altered some people’s memories, altered time, turned a ghost back into a living person; probably a few other things that I don’t really remember”.
Lewis is honestly wondering if there’s anything Danny can’t do. “You have more power than any one person really should have”.
Danny chuckles and nods, “yeah, though many of my abilities are literally just general ghost shit. Every ghost can use body manipulation, invisibility, intangibility, flight, overshadowing, ecto-beams/blasts, shields, enhanced strength and speed and senses and healing, body manipulation, duplication, photokinesis and absolute dark vision. You just have to learn how. Most ghosts don’t learn how to do everything they’re capable of doing, I do because it always seems to wind up being needed”.
Lewis shakes his head, that was a bit ridiculous. Ghosts were absurdly powerful beings, “question, why haven’t ghosts just taken us over? Because that would be really easy to do”.
Danny chuckles, “four reasons: humans are seen by many as lesser and thus not worth the effort, have zero interest in the mortal world at all, getting into the mortal world is actually not that easy and ghost can’t actually stay, and lastly, ghosts like me exist to stop the ones that do want to or try to. But in the end, ghosts care about their Obsessions first and foremost, so unless their Obsession is something like ruling or humanity there’s no reason to want to take over mortals”.
Lewis shakes his head as he goes to get packed to take Danny home, “well that’s comforting, this sounds like a pretty good note to decide to get the probably disturbingly powerful being back to his home. Which I’ve honestly said to Eddie too, come to think of it”.
Danny chuckles as Lewis walks off, “well it's not hard to be more powerful than humans”, Lewis coming back in only a little bit later, “and yet we often come out on top. You seem more powerful than most ghosts, judging by all the fighting, yet you’re part human”.
Danny chuckles as he stretches out, slides off the stool, and floats over to the door; inspecting his tail a little as he goes, “being part mortal gives me a big leg up on other ghosts. Being part ghosts gives me a big leg up on other mortals. Also makes me a mortal with ghostly needs and instincts. And a ghost with mortal weaknesses”.
Lewis closes the car door and looks back to where it sounds like Danny sat in the back, “mortal weakness? Your humanness doesn’t seem to be a weakness”.
Danny rolls his eyes, “I can still die Lewis. I still age, still change”, popping into visibility and pointing at Lewis though laying across the backseat to be hidden, “dead ghosts ain’t meant to change at the base level. Halfas do. Not healthy”.
Lewis tilts his head as he gets up to highway speed, Danny had a good point in a sense, ghost were dead. Weren’t part of the living world and thus didn’t really have to deal with living stuff. But clearly they could be destroyed, which is basically dying. “Well shouldn’t ageing be good for you? Being stuck at fourteen seems pretty unpleasant. Ghosts can be destroyed too, that’s basically dying”.
Danny sighs slightly, yeah that would be pretty shit but what would he be like as an old man? Heck maybe he would stop ageing or changing at some point. Who fucking knows? Halfas were a new species, everything was debatable, unproven, yet to be seen. Didn’t help that the only other natural halfa was one nut short of a fruitcake; not to mention rather reclusive. Shrugging, “being an old man won’t change my Obsession. I’ll still be doing what I’m doing now, might be a little difficult to do that. Ehh, hard to say. The other is as old as my folks, he does fine. Okay, he does fine physically. Dying and destruction is odder for me than humans or ghosts. ‘Cause if my ghost’s destroyed then my human’s still here. My human dies then my ghost’s still here. No halfa ever has done either though so everything’s hypothetical. Might not even be possible without the halfs being torn apart first”, Danny shivers slightly, different train of thought, “ghosts that are five thousand years old are nearly no different in base form or personality than when they first formed. That’s part of how they have their spot and place in the Zone, that makes me uncertain, unreliable, and unpredictable to ghosts. And a ghosts base body, skin colour, ears, eyes, hair, yada yada, is pretty well part of who they are. Some look more mortal, some not at all. And while humans are really damn adaptable, there’s a limit to that. Which is why my teeth and face hurts sometimes”.
“Go to a dentist?”.
Danny screws up his face before pulling himself up and leaning on the centre console, pushing up his upper lip and extending his fangs. All four sets of them, which yes, are too damn big for his face, “I’ll getz rightz on thatz”.
Lewis glances at them and yeah okay, dentist would be a bad idea. Though he’s very curious what x-rays of Danny’s teeth would look like. Seems to be those fangs are just part of him, not body manipulation. So there must be pockets in his jaw and skull for them to slide in and out of. Not to mention specialised extra muscles. Yeah, that likely would be rather uncomfortable. Also very obvious Danny’s not used to them, “fair point, grow into them? Eddie and Vee can do a lot of weird stuff with Vee’s teeth, and Vee’s got an obscene amount of teeth. Their face is sixty percent teeth. Though if you’re basically transversing unknown territory then just roll with it. That’s basically what Eddie does, though maybe actually attempt to figure stuff out instead of just shrugging at it”.
Danny chuckles, “maybe I willz grow to fillz ‘em. Andz I’m from a family ofz zvientiztz, ofz courze I ztudy the changez”.
Lewis shakes his head with a slight smile as Danny basically stabs his lower lip and starts bleeding, hearing him groan in annoyance as they enter Amity Park. ‘A nice place to live’ seems a bit funny for it being the most haunted place in the world and who’s town icon -Phantom’s symbol is everywhere, the town clearly likes him more than he’s implied- literally does not live, to public knowledge. Speaking as Danny runs his tongue over his -fangs clearly retracted- teeth and lip, “maybe try talking with them more instead of ignoring them. And good, everyone should be familiar with their bodies. Also, your town loves you”.
Danny rolls his eyes and grumbles, “just because they have the symbol for a famous ghost around doesn’t mean they’re doing it for anything other than popularity and profit. I’m a staple of the town, being a staple doesn’t necessarily mean well-liked. Like rats in New York and-”, Danny cuts himself off at smelling bleach and glimpsing the bumper of a white car, promptly turning himself, Lewis, and the car invisible and intangible.
“No one puts rats on t-shirts and pins. Also, does your town have weird tingly air? Because something is off”, Lewis blinks, firmly caught off guard as another car's bumper just goes through his own. Looking to Danny who looks slightly mischievous but has a sharpness to his eyes and they’re darting around slightly, in a way that implied lots of practice at making it not noticeable that he was looking for threats. “What’s going on? You can transfer you powers?”. If Danny could push his powers onto other things that was a power in and of itself. Manipulating other things and people.
Danny sends out a duplicate through his tail to look from above, easily spotting the Agents. Doesn’t look to be the same ones as at the hospital and they look to be carrying around water guns. Which Danny’s going the bet his own eyeballs, are filled with that ‘rain’ liquid. Wonderful. Original Danny hisses, “G.I.W.”.
Lewis restrains a sigh, at least Danny noticed quickly; paranoid but usefully so. Having to make a damn point of not jerking from a car driving straight through him, Danny of course hardly seems to pay it any mind. Though being able to just run red lights gives him a bit of childish joy. Struggling to keep a smile off his face as he picks up speed and just goes through a building.
Original Danny glances at him and chuckles slightly, “usually I go around buildings. You know, for peoples privacy? But yes, my powers are pretty fun”. Before growling, snapping his head to the side, and squinting his now glowing green eyes; as the duplicate spots one agent spraying Elliot -why doesn’t that kid just move out?- in the face.
Lewis isn’t sure what’s going on, glimpsing Danny’s tail vibrating and lashing a bit aggressively; and him clearly in attack mode. Under an hour into being back in his own town and he’s already picking fights. He just can’t slow down, like Eddie. Which is honestly the scariest part about Eddie himself, combined with having functionally no restraints or very few personal limits. Looking around to see a Phantom duplicate zip over to somewhere and restraining another sigh, before blinking and spotting the FentonWorks sign and the UFO? Danny wasn’t kidding about the strange house. Promptly parking and clearing his throat at Danny, it takes a few times before Danny glances his very bright eyes at him, “we’re just gonna sit here till other you is done”. Danny rolls his eyes slightly but goes back to staring out the window.
Danny, meanwhile, is happy the liquid doesn’t seem to affect regular ecto-contaminated humans. But he still floats aggressively, and invisibly, behind the agents. While Elliot looks extremely done with everything, shaking his hands off and then tossing them up dramatically and walking off, grumbling about the dumb stupid pain in the fucking ass gov asshole pricks.
Danny, feeling a little vindictive and mischievous, makes a point of giving the agents the seemingly worst luck ever. Tripping them up, knocking stuff in front of them, whispering creepily at them, making random growling sounds from alleyways. One agent grumbling, “I hate dealing with damn ghost lairs. Too bad we can’t just blow the place”. Danny growls low at that and unintentionally changes the colour palette of the buildings and sidewalk to be darker and harsher shades. Both agents glare around and scoff, “you’re not going to chase us off, filthy lair”.
“Maybe it should!”.
Danny tilts his head up towards the voice and sighs slightly, seeing the red-eyed ‘Phantom’ Amorpho. Promptly zipping up to him and yanking him out of the way of the agents water guns as they shout, “Phantom! Give it up you filthy ecto-entity!”.
Danny pops into visibility with Amorpho a few blocks over, pointing at him, “you don’t want that water shit on you. Also, the fuck are you doing posing in-front of billboards and shit?”.
Amorpho blinks and transforms into his natural state, “you’re back! I’ve been having my fun, haven’t caused any issues for you, so who says it matters”.
Danny rolls his eyes but chuckles, “oh yes, who says it matters that you’re making a whole bunch of new weird stories about me. At least general confusion suits me, though I did ask you to stay out of my town. Though fine, thanks for covering my ass. That water will paralyse you and burn you, now I imagine that would get you stuck in whatever form”, Danny grins a bit cruelly knowing how much Amorpho hates that. While Amorpho jerks slightly, turning his head towards where the agents are, “thanks then, I’m going to make their day. In the bad way”, transforming into an agent and walking off with a cruel smirk.
Danny shakes his head, at least he could leave the agents to Amorpho to mess with, being distracting was basically the guys specialty. Flying off back into the car and being resorbed by the original.
Lewis shakes his head, as Danny just smirks more and leans back in the seat, “someone I've got a truce with is messing with them now. He’s a tricky fellow so I doubt they get him, he’s pretending to be an agent himself”, Danny shakes his head, “he’s actually been pretending to be Phantom while I’ve been gone. He’s a true shift-shaper, can look like anyone. Harmless though, just a prankster that likes attention. Also, we’re visible and everything again”. Lewis can’t even imagine all the ways that kind of power could cause harm and mass panic, seems like only the less harmful ghosts had all the more dangerous powers. “Before we head in, because I know you won’t talk about this around Jack and Maddie. Is there a reason it just seems to be good or neutral ghosts with stronger abilities?”.
Danny promptly shakes his head, “it only seems that way because all the powerful bad ghosts are locked up or sealed away, so they can’t do shit. Like Overgrowth? Control over all plant life and turns people into fertiliser. Massive death count, enslaved Amity once. Vortex? Compete weather control. Makes massive storms and shit. Caused the ice age. Aragon can turn into a dragon. Pariah is literally one of the most powerful there is and he’s an evil bastard. Oh, and Spectra, she makes people depressed. Massive death count for her too”, Danny shrugs and coils his tail up, turning it invisible and throws his -pretty well shredded- hoodie around his waist, “there are just enough good guys to keep the bad guys wrangled. Well okay, and the Observants deal with the really dangerous ones”.
Lewis shakes his head as he gets out of the car and opens the back door, seeing as Danny can’t be just floating in. Danny points at him, “you aren’t carrying me, my pride took enough of a hit yesterday. And I can’t just ride piggyback cause with how injured I’m supposed to be that would be very suspicious”. Lewis raises an eyebrow, “you have pride?”. Danny flips him off for that, “all ghosts do. Prideful things by nature”.
“Huh, well I did not bring a wheelchair. Would Jack and Maddie have something?”.
Danny blinks at him a few times before laughing and nodding his head, “they always have something, they built a hoverboard I believe”.
Lewis is just going to assume hoverboards are basically commonplace here, as he knocks on the door.
To say Jack and Maddie have been busy would be a bit of an understatement. They’d like to say the first thing they did was start on legs and perfect them, but how could they? Having to face that fact, just accept what their boy had lost so quickly? No, but cleaning, organising, and getting to work on deconstructing bits from the first Spector Speeder for a little hover-board? That was easy enough, distraction enough. The house was probably the cleanest it had ever been, especially after finding out Dan would be coming to stay for a while. Finding out Danny would be coming home even sooner really made them stop and acknowledge that they needed to genuinely start building. Of course they both already had ideas, and had started building a little, but really hearing Danny actually eager to hear about them was the real kick in the butt they needed to build with wild abandon. But it wasn’t exactly going smoothly. Building actual robotic legs that could pass as normal legs, rather than an exoskeleton of sorts was a fair bit more difficult. Of course they needed neuroreceptors and the base shape and systems, all that they could build easily. But Danny was rather lean and short, there wasn’t a whole lot of room to work with. And they only wanted legs, no further areas of a full-body suit for space or support. And of course, they absolutely had to be able to work long term and completely safely. There were to be no running off of Danny’s life force or draining any substantial amount of his ectoplasm. The less he has to act as a battery the better.
So as it stands they had basic prototypes, and they were fully intending to ask Danny if he wanted them to bring them in for him to look at, try on, and help troubleshoot; when the G.I.W. situation had gone down. To say they were pissed at G.I.W. was another definite understatement. The absolute only reasons they didn’t hunt those men down or bust into that transport vehicle was Jazz and Sam pointing out how suspicious that would seem and Tuck assuring them that Danny was not in G.I.W. custody. The final nail in the coffin for them turning around to go back home and just wait, was Jazz somewhat sheepishly admitting to them that she had told Dan about the G.I.W. and that Danny actually dealt with them coming after him before. Because that meant Danny had a plan for this and Dan was smart. Not to mention, they knew from growing up with him that he had zero qualms over forgoing rules or normalcy. Even they acknowledged Dan was a bit strange, more so than them. They had strange interests and were both very intense and unapologetic about everything. Dan was strange on the very base fundamental level, so everything about him was at least a little off. But that was exactly why he fit and flowed well with them.
So they trusted their boy and put some faith in an old friend. Which thankfully paid off, even if that meant Danny coming home way sooner and functionally sent them into a bit of a frenzy. They couldn’t just have prototypes and ‘leg’ bits around, certainly that would be unpleasant for Danny right? And they couldn’t have Dan thinking the house was unsafe. Though they agreed to leave both children’s rooms be, the last thing they wanted to do was make Danny uncomfortable by going through his stuff or changing his area. Jazz would likely go on about how rooms were comfort zones and safe havens.
So they were a bit frazzled when that knock they had been nervously waiting for finally came. Maddie quickly fixing her hair as she opens the door to see Dan, “Dan, is he fine? Where’s Danny?”. Lewis puts up his hands and makes pacifying motions, “he’s fine, he’s fine”. While Maddie sticks her head out the door, spotting Danny sitting in the car. Seeing him in braces instead of casts feels like a breath of fresh air laced with gold, “DANNY!”.
Danny rubs his neck a bit awkwardly, partly because he didn’t have a full range of motion and partly because he hated worrying people, while Maddie runs over to him and squats down. Squeezing his shoulder before pulling him in for an almost tight hug, making sure not to pull him off the seat though, “oh sweetie, I’m glad those men didn't get to do anything”.
Danny’s not about to tell her that they did hurt him, but he does glance around with a cautious eye, “yeah, they’re pricks, aren’t they? They’re also in town, so let’s party over tripping up government dogs inside”. This instantly gets Maddie to snap up and look around, no way does she want to try picking Danny up. Not yet. Thankfully Jack, the dear, was thinking ahead; coming out with the little circular hover cushion with cushion walls around it, looking like a bowl. Course it also had a control panel, pop out trays, pop open cubby holes, etcetera.
Both Danny and Lewis resist chuckling or snorting at the device. Though Danny takes it and, with the kind of ease that comes from being overly familiar with how his parents build stuff, operates it easily. Lewis quietly muttering, “well shit”, the thing genuinely hovers and quietly too.
Jack and Maddie both beam as Danny just easily hovers himself inside and does a little twirl in the air. Jazz snickering from the hallway stairs. Patting the puffy thing after walking up, looking Danny over and nodding slightly, “you seem better, no more stiff casts”.
Danny smiles and makes a point of stretching out some, “oh it is much better, I have fingers again. Stick fingers, but fingers”. Bending his right fingers at her the little that he actually can. Which she giggles and shakes her head over.
Lewis looks at Maddie as she leans towards him, “is he really okay enough to be out of casts?”. Lewis nods, a normal person would definitely not be...well, a normal person would just be flat-out dead. But he had to downplay the injuries, “he’s a tough kid. Lucky too. So he’s good, just needs to be monitored to make sure, and keep up with the wrappings. Though I have a shift soon, so I can’t stay long right now”.
Jack claps him on the shoulder though his smile looks a little empty, “that’s too bad! You could’ve helped set up the spare room!”. Lewis chuckles and shakes his head slightly, “I’m sure I would have loved that. Though don’t worry about that too much. I’m hardly the picky type”.
Danny smirks and glances up towards his room, his parents could give Lewis the strangest room ever and he’d probably be unfazed. Whispering at Jazz, “please tell me they didn’t raid my room?”, saying ‘cleaned up’ would be stretching it, since cleaning wasn’t often their thing. Plus, genuinely cleaning his room would probably take more than three days. Jazz giggles slightly, “no worries little brother. They did actually clean the house though”, smiling and side-eyeing her parents, “lab’s a bit messy of course”.
Danny groans quietly, “it’s covered in leg bits, isn't it?”. She just nods quickly while Lewis comes up and pats Danny’s shoulder.
Lewis eye-balls the hover cushion thing, “somehow, this is stranger”, shaking his head, “I’ll be around in the morning, try not to destroy your bandaging”. Danny smirks at him, “no promises”. Lewis shakes his head and waves over his shoulder as he takes his leave.
Danny hovers somewhat awkwardly, focusing on keeping his tail invisible -which doesn’t fit all that well in the little cushion contraption-, while his parents walk over to him. Jack patting him on the shoulder, “did you pull a good one over on those agents?”. Danny smirks and nods, “to my knowledge, they don’t even know I was ever there”. Jack beams over that, while Danny glances up to his room, “cool if I rub my face in my blankets?”, he was going to enjoy his bed tonight, after flying around his town with a fine eye. Any ghosties are were going to get their asses kicked with a passion.
They honestly don’t want to let him out of their sight but Jazz is giving them a bit of a glare, clearly saying they should give him space. Jack squeezes Danny’s shoulder slightly and nods, “glad to hear it and go ahead Danny-boy. I’m sure Mads will have supper ready in a bit!”. And Maddie kisses Danny on the cheek quickly, who blushes and bats her off weakly. Before promptly hovering up to his room.
Sticking his head in, Danny’s just damn glad his room looks exactly as it did before. Locking the door and promptly ditching the hover cushion, stretching his tail out and letting it wiggle all over the place; before just flopping onto his bed. Laying there realising that being gone for a while has rather resensitised him to all the scents he’d gotten used to over the past years. Grumbling, “oh man, I really do need to clean. Kinda smells like someone died and rolled in lemon acid”. Was he going to actually do it? Probably not. Give it a day or so and he’d be nose-blind again. Sighing happily into his blankets, hard to actually be comfortable with the braces on though. Turning his head to the side and staring out the window, he could wait till nightfall.
Jack and Maddie watch him head to his room with worry, Jazz rubbing her mom's arm, “he just needs some time to adjust and enjoy being home”, smiling at her dad, “you know how unpleasant hospitals can be”. Not to mention calming down from dealing with the G.I.W.
Jack shivers slightly, hospitals were so annoying to be stuck dealing with. Before looking to the lab door and smiling, “maybe testing things out will get him back into the swing of things!”, and bounding down the stairs. While Jazz shakes her head with a small smile, “give him some time at least!”.
Maddie gives Jazz a soft smile and kisses her head quickly, “oh he’ll be a while, no worries. I’ll get to work on a good supper”. Jazz, full well knowing Danny will be annoyed but he really should not be eating anything heavily seasoned or tough, “remember it should be simple and easy to digest”. Maddie blinks and nods, “right, of course, thanks Jazz”. Jazz just smiles and shakes her head slightly.
Danny’s just glad supper went normally, even if he’s sure the food was very intentionally ‘guy who just had surgery’ friendly. Now he’s just curled up in his blankets and staring at the window. No way his folks weren’t going to check in on him before they went to bed themselves. He honestly wanted them to hurry up on that and go to bed, so he can leave and have a night out on the town.
Not even ten minutes later he coils his tail up and flicks it out of visibility, as he smells his folks approaching the door. Flipping over to face the door as he hears his mom ask, “you up sweetie? Can we come in?”.
“Yeah, go ahead”, Danny would throw in a joke about not being able to get the door but that would technically be a lie and would probably be really insensitive.
Jack and Maddie come in and sit on Danny’s bed, it was strange and bit painful that doing so pulled the blankets down enough to make what’s missing rather noticeable. The two parents share a look before Maddie brushes Danny’s hair around some, speaking soft and kind, “now you know we’ve been working on legs for you. We’ve got good frameworks and systems started, though we haven’t really been able to solidify or start on the attachment zone. So we were wondering if it would be alright to see the work Dan did?”.
Danny makes a point not to wince, it was clear she was trying to be kind and gentle, even if the whole...Dan...name kind of ruined the attempted effect. All three glance down to Danny’s waist and ‘legs’, while Danny mentally debates what to do.
#Danny Phantom#phandom#crossover#venom#danny phantom focused#amputation#character injury#injury recovery#hospitalisation#angst#hurt/comfort#ectobiology#amity is dannys lair#giw#guys in white#dan lewis is a good dude#mentions of cannibalism#mentions of murder#danny fenton#dan lewis#valerie gray#Maddie Fenton#jack fenton#jazz fenton#anne weying#Tucker Foley#sam manson#fan fic#phanphic#have a fic suck my dick
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