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thomas-jefferson-miku-binder · 7 months

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Queer League of Legends Champions (with explanations) - Part II

Check out Part I

Confirmed Pansexuals – Twisted Fate

Twisted Fate was always speculated to be part of the LGBTQ+ community due to his, uh, flamboyancy. The sentiment that he felt something more for Graves was always there, portrayed in their stories through regret, friendship, and loyalty. The Boys and Bombolini color story officially confirmed him as queer, making TFGraves the faces of Pride 2022. This year, he was also seen with the pansexual flag in official pride art, with Riot finally labeling him. It's worth noticing a cute detail (that I doubt was intentional) where his card deck's colors form the colors of his flag!

Confirmed Queers – Ahri, Ekko, Evelynn, Ezreal, Kayn, Nidalee, Renata Glasc, Samira, Taric, Udyr

Ok, this is a long category. Here we have every champion we know for sure is queer, either through external confirmation (Ekko, Ezreal, Kayn, Renata Glasc, Taric), in-game dialogue (Nidalee, Samira, Udyr), or basic lore (Ahri, Evelynn). Let's start with the first group.

Throughout the first half of 2020, Riot released multiple chapters of a Pulsifire color story focused on Ezreal. It explored his relationships with numerous champions of the universe, but especially Ekko. The subtext was strong in this one, and the writer later took to Twitter to talk about how tough it was to have queer stories be censored when working for IPs, not so subtly mentioning Ezreal and Ekko after doing so. Even though Riot might not have agreed with making the Ezko relationship undeniably romantic, their love for one another is still an important part of the story, not to mention that it was the creator's intended vision to begin with.

Renata Glasc was confirmed as sapphic by one of her creators when sharing concept art of her design. Checking the link to the original post, they seem to have deleted the excerpt that mentions it, but people took screenshots before they edited it, most likely because of Riot. Taric, on the other hand, has been speculated to be queer since forever, although the motives are not that pure. Many people saw this hairless, beautiful man that likes jewels and was like, "Huh, that sounds kinda gay," which was the common dudebro mentality of the fandom at the time of his release that caused a lot of homophobia within the player base (more than usual). They weren't wrong, seeing as Riot did include Taric in official 2023 pride art, but he was not seen wearing or holding any flags. After all, it would make sense that he likes everything—and everyone—beautiful. But either way, both Taric and Renata are non-specified queers.

Shieda Kayn is a weirder case. I thought a lot about whether I should even include him in this category at all. There are many accounts of people affirming one of Kayn's writers pictured him as having fluid sexuality, but since then, wherever it was posted, it's gone now. I do believe it since we can still find Reddit threads on the subject, but the original source is nowhere to be found. I still decided to put him here, but take it with a grain of salt.

Moving on to our next category, we have Nidalee, Samira, and Udyr. Samira flirts more than once with Elegant Edge in Legends of Runeterra, and her attraction for her is not subtle. As far as I'm aware, she's never expressed interest in men, but we can't say for sure whether she's bi, pan, or gay. Nidalee and Udyr have had speculated romantic interests in other champions for a while now. Nidalee with Neeko, Udyr with Lee Sin. Nidalee and Neeko's story was first portrayed as one-sided, with Neeko rejected by her friend, prompting them to part ways. On the other hand, the addition of both champions to Legends of Runeterra explored their relationship once again, with the two reuniting and Nidalee finally realizing she did love Neeko and simply didn't know how to deal with it all those years ago. A love song, Shine On, even accompanied the update, which narrates their story beautifully. They have many romantic voice lines now, both in LoR and League.

With Udyr's rework, people started realizing he digs Lee Sin through voice lines expressing how he misses his "old friend" and that he's "loved twice, left twice" (which applies to his relationship with Lee Sin). Besides, his design includes memorabilia he exchanged with Lee Sin when they parted ways. It is also important to mention he's had a wife before, so he swings both ways. I think the context gives more than enough clues for us to safely say Udyr is queer.

Ahri and Evelynn are spirits/demons that prey on their victims (regardless of gender) through charm and seduction. Ahri is essentially a succubus, and Evelynn is the Demon of Agony, with desire and lust being important parts of their characters. It is also worth noting that Evelynn is genderfluid/agender, taking the form of anyone (or anything) that might lure her victims. So their lore essentially confirms them as not straight and not cis (on Evelynn's case, at least).

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normal-sea-urchin · 4 months

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AROACE MUTANT MAYHEM MIKEY ONSHOT

lo and behold, i actually wrote a fic i said i would. this is fairly rushed and it might seem a bit ooc, but here y'all go, hope you enjoy

"Aro-huh?" Mikey asked. He was at the improv comedy club meeting, talking with a girl named Renet. She had clear, dark skin and black hair with electric blue highlights. She was wearing a white ascot around her neck, with a sparkly blue jumpsuit, which matched her blue eyes.

"Aroace. It's where you don't feel any romantic or sexual attraction." she explained. The two had gotten on the topic of being aroace when Mikey complimented her pride pin on her backpack and asked what the flag meant.

"Hmm." Mikey hummed. Aroace, he thought to himself. "Cool." he responded. "So wait, does that mean that you don't date anybody?"

"Well, I don't," Renet began, "but other aroace people might date. They might be curious, or they might be on the asexual or aromantic spectrums, they might be in a QPR. There's a bunch of different reasons why an aroace person might date someone."

"Huh, rad!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Mikey! Renet! You're up!" the head of the club called.

_______________________

Mikey laid in bed, staring at the ceiling of his bunk. His brothers had all fallen asleep a while ago. The term aroace had been bouncing around his head since Renet mentioned it earlier that day. Was he aroace? He couldn't really remember having any crushes on people when he was younger. But he also didn't really know anyone other than his brothers and father when they were younger. Come to think of it, what exactly did romantic love feel like?

Maybe he just hadn't found the right person yet. He didn't want to use the term aroace if he wasn't aroace. Maybe he would give it some time and see if he even caught feels for anyone at school. Yeah. He would do that.

_______________________

Not even five minutes passed and Mikey was on his phone, googling the term aroace.

"Aromantic asexual people are colloquially known as "aro-ace" or "aroace". Aromantic individuals are also able to experience platonic love and may have committed friendships, and some form intimate non-romantic partnerships called "queerplatonic relationships"." it read. Hmm. Mikey rested his phone on his plastron and stared up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment. Aroace. Aroace. Hmm.

_______________________

"Hey Renet!" Mikey had run into her the next day at school. Well not exactly "ran into". He was looking for her; and thus, he had found her rummaging through her locker.

"Oh, hey Mikey! How's it hanging?" she responded, closing her locker and turning to face Mikey.

"Uhhh, so quick question." the turtle explained.

"What's up?" she smiled.

"Uh, so how did you know you were aroace?" he questioned.

"Oh, uh!" Her eyes widened with shock. God dammit, that wasn't an offensive question, was it? "Well I guess I realized it when I first heard about it a year ago. I had thought I was pan for a long time cause I didn't really have a preference or gender. But, as it would turn out, I didn't have a preference cause I didn't romantically like anyone."

"Hmm. Okay." he waited a moment before continuing. "I think I might be aroace." he admitted.

"Oh! For real?" he nodded. "That's so rad! Congrats on coming out dude!" she perked up. Mikey took a moment to process before responding.

"Uh, well I'm not sure if I'm aroace. So..." he trailed off, hanging his head down. Wow, Renet had really pretty shoes. Were those platform heels?

"Oh. Well you can use the term aroace if it makes you comfortable, if that's what you're worried about." she reassured.

"Hmm," Mikey took a moment to think before smiling widely, tilting his head up to face Renet. "Yeah, I think I will. I'm aroace!" he declared proudly.

#tmnt #tmnt mm mikey #tmnt mm #aroace #spreading my aroace mikey agenda #tmnt renet #tmnt mm renet #fanfic

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ieatadoptmepets · 10 months

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I meant to make this forever ago but here are my gay titan headcanons for pride month

Dick Grayson

The man is definitely bi. Growing up with bruce, he never got a chance for any kind of meaningful relationship and wasn't like other kids with internet access (or however that worked, I mean he's around my mom's age and her generation all had like flip phones in highschool or whatever) or "the talk" or really anything pertaining to sexuality. And instead of not realizing it until adulthood, he kinda just took it as it's completely normal because he never saw anything special about it. Bruce was always supportive of any pride marches going on which made him feel safe but they always had this mutual understanding that didn't make anything need to be said out loud

He may look sexy as fuck all the time but it's all a show, he's so asexual. I've always kinda took this as canon even though nothing like that was mentioned or shown, and he slept with kori pretty early on but nevermind that. He's not out to anyone because he didn't know asexuality was a thing, but more on that later with another character I headcanon as ace :-)

When he does figure it out though he comes out publicity rather quickly and the internet goes wild, leaving his teammates to find out through twitter

Conner being the sweet guy he is congratulates him

Koriand'r

On Tamaran, no one is really aware of sexuality as a society, but just that a princess needs her prince and things like that (I don't know much about Tamaran, I could be wrong in canon but this is headcanon) but they do have the capacity for sexuality. Kori comes to earth and discovers human sexuality and doesn't really understand any of it and tries to figure out what she is but comes to the conclusion that it's VERY confusing but by god does she love dick grayson

Gar Logan

He's very much pansexual. He's always struggled with coming out to people, half of him thinking 'it's so obvious but they never said anything so they must be homophobic but deal with me for titans business' and 'they think I'm straight and I should come out' but rachel helps him, they are mspec solidarity

He comes out officially to the public during pride month which causes the rest of the titans to come out and make their statements which makes the world go crazy

He comes out to the team by donning a bunch of pan pride merch and hanging up a flag in his room and eventually they take notice and ask what it's about he makes a big show out of it and kori makes him a pan colored cake with the help of rachel because he was so excited about it

When he and rachel officially room together, they fold their pride flags in half to combine them on the wall

He is also asexual. I don't get sexual attraction so almost everyone is asexual. Like me he doesn't get the hype around it so he doesn't make a big deal about it like his pansexuality. He comes out because jason makes a joke about him and rachel now sharing a room and he just goes "huh? oh, no, me and rachel don't do that. I'm asexual :D" thus prompting dick to talk to gar in private and explain to him, and he doesn't show it but he's very excited and goes to tell kori

Rachel Roth

She is so bi without a doubt. When she comes out with the titans, people give her a lot of shit for being in a committed relationship with a man while being bi but she responds to all public backlash just getting increasingly more obnoxious with it. Think like aggressively chaotic videos in response to trolls to Lady Gaga songs and hanging pride flags from the tower every June

Jason Todd

Look at this man and tell me he's not bi. You can't. I know I've headcanoned like everyone as bi but that's because I'm projecting

He gets a boyfriend and thinks he's keeping it a secret but he's really bad at it

He acts like he's going out with a girl but has no idea how to act with a guy, so he asks the titans very obvious advice that just gets worse the more he tries to cover it up

Bruce knows it from the start pretty much because he's always acted like a tool who only cared about showing off everything batman and titan related when he dated girls but he actually appears genuine, so it must mean he's gay

One evening he tells the titans he's going on a date and rachel goes "with your boyfriend?"

Then they convince him to take his date to the tower to meet them which ends up being the best date he's ever been on

Conner Kent

At first he has no concept of sexuality because he starts out when he broke out of the lab with the emotional mind of a toddler

As he "grows up" he learns more about sexuality it kinda confuses him and finds he's unlabeled

Sexuality is hella confusing for him because all his pre existing knowledge comes from Clark Kent and Lex Luther and it's not like he inherited their sexuality and he never got to grow up and experience life

He's one of the titans who isn't exactly out about their sexuality, but that's because he doesn't label himself and currently that's only a concern to komand'r

His girlfriend is unlabeled too for the same reasons as kori and Conner has the biggest himbo bi wife energy despite being the smartest human-ish alive

I kinda gave everyone the same headcanons but please reblog with your headcanons I'd love to see them <3

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posi-pan · 1 year

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Watched a video titled "Problems with the bisexual spectrum" (would've preferred if they used multisexual but that's not the point) and scrolled down through the comment section. While the majority of the comments were mspecs appreciating the vid and sharing their own experiences and thoughts, I noticed a pattern of pansexuals (+ people who used to label themselves as pansexual) sharing how they were constantly harassed, judged, and mocked for using the label. The constant harassment eventually culminating itself into self-hatred

Some ended their piece by reassuring they learned to stopped caring about what exclusionist think, and happily continue labeling as pan (or later go on to discover that another label fits them better) but others ended it by saying that while they know pan is a valid label, the harassment consequently made them uncomfortable of pansexuality, and would rather not have anything to do with it at all.

I had a similar experience years ago. Witnessing multiple non-bi mspecs constantly mocked and forced to use the bisexual label, "Bi vs Pan" posts painting pansexuality in the most negative light imaginable being highly supported, exclusionist, without fail, commenting either "I don't see anything 🤔" whenever a pan flag is showed off or "I guess 'X' doesn't exist now 😔" whenever a fictional char is headcannoned as pan, just made me resent myself and pansexuality, forcing myself to simply use 'saphic'

Those comments made me realized just how common of an occurrence this was, and I felt dejected after thinking about them for too long. Like, we go through that whole proccess of self-loathing and constant pressure to ID as something else, and yet no one outside our community seems to care?

Whenever a prominent LGBT+ figure/site talks about pansexuality (IF they even talk about it as it's own thing), it's only "They exist, and they are valid <3". Don't get me wrong, this is very appreciated, but why do they never use that opportunity to shed light on more valuable pieces of information as well. Show the community at large our history without the misinformation, expose the normalization of pan exclusion and the prominence of anti-pan dogwhistles, show pansexual's mental health statistics, etc.

I want to finish off this long rant (sorry btw) by saying thank you 💖💛💙 Your blog has helped me mentally throughout these years. I love reading through the Pan History and Pan Statistics carrds especially. If it wasn't for you or this blog, I would still be that self-loathing resentful person I was years ago. So again, thank you 💖💛💙

(I also want to apologize again for basically sending you an essay 😅 I got passionate writing this; if I left out any info/context, I would've exploded. Have a good evening!)

it's honestly so sad that pan people go through this and seemingly no one cares. and ugh yeah when the only thing regarding pan mentioned is something like "it's valid" or "pan people are part of the bi umbrella" it's like....that's it? what about something meaningful? it's just telling, ya know? like we're not worthy of genuine and meaningful consideration.

but yeah, no worries about the long rant! sorry for taking a while to get to it, though! i'm glad the blog and stuff has been helpful to you. you deserve to love and celebrate yourself and not be weighed down by hatred or doubt caused by the ignorance and malice of others. i hope you're doing well and have a lovely day! 💛💛

#asks #anonymous #pansexual #pan antagonism #exclusionism #long post #mspec antagonism

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canonicallyobserving911 · 9 months

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Seven Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

FANON speculation for season 7

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 8 will be posted soon.

I’m excited to finish writing Chapter 8 because a lot is happening and there's still more to come. At the end of Chapter 7, Buck was still crawling his way back from the depths of his depression following his mental breakdown at the end of Chapter 5 and Eddie was there for him the same way Buck was there for him after his breakdown more than one year ago. Eddie, Chris and Buck are still maintaining their usual domestic routine the same way they did after Eddie's breakdown and each of them ended the month of July thinking about things that pertained to them moving forward as a family. Buck's still going to three types of therapy, Eddie's new therapist gave him some ideas regarding the process of letting go and moving on while Chris started thinking about the questions that he wants to ask Eddie about his mother.

___________

Here’s a snippet from chapter 8 of Buck and Chris' conversation after they take Eddie to work and they're getting ready to eat dinner.

___________

“Hey Buck?”

While stirring the marinara spaghetti sauce in the pan, Buck smiles, looks over his shoulder and replies, “Yeah buddy?”

He notices Chris has a serious look on his face and he wonders if he's going to ask him a question about one of the books they've been reading for Chris' summer reading list.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, what’s on your mind?”

Chris pauses for a few seconds then says, “When we were in El Paso… dad asked me if I had any questions about mom and…” He trails off because he’s trying to think of the best words to use so he can explain what he wants to say and Buck freezes because he’s not sure where this conversation is headed but he tries to keep a neutral expression on his face.

“I told him that I do have questions but… I wasn’t ready to ask them then.”

Buck gasps and his eyes widen. He places the spoon on the counter, turns off the burner, moves the pan to the back of the stove, walks over to the kitchen table, sits in the chair next to him and patiently waits for him to continue.

After several seconds of silence, Chris looks at him and asks, “Do you think he’ll be sad if I ask him about her?”

A lump forms in Buck’s throat and he’s having a hard time breathing past it because even though he and Eddie have discussed some of the problems Eddie said he experienced during his marriage to Shannon, it’s been more than four years and they haven’t talked about her or anything else regarding her since they made up after the lawsuit.

He tilts his head and asks, “What um… what makes you think your dad will be sad if you ask him about your mom?”

Chris scrunches his eyebrows and returns a look that reminds him so much of Eddie it takes his breath away.

“Well… he was sad for a long time after she died and... he was sad again after he got shot. The last time I dreamed about her, he quit his job. Then when you died..." Chris looks at him for several seconds then he continues. "He cried a lot and I don’t… I don’t want him to be sad like that again.”

Buck’s breath hitches in his throat because he wasn’t expecting their conversation to take a turn down ‘Red Flag Rd’. There are yield and warning signs all over it and it includes speed bumps and potholes, so he realizes he needs to navigate with caution. He takes a few seconds to figure out the best way to respond.

How will Buck respond to Chris’ question?

_________

Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it. But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 -Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 -After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago. They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are part of the foundation when a couple builds a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Will be posted soon.

__________

I’m enjoying writing this fic because it’s giving me the chance to unravel the mess that was the 6x18 ending for Buck, Eddie and Chris. Also, it’s taking them places the show refuses to go including Buck finally having a mental breakdown and Eddie being there for him the same way he was there for Eddie in season 5.

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading

Read chapters 1 - 7 are already available on AO3.

No pressure tagging: @spotsandsocks and @shortsighted-owl. (My apologies if you've already posted.)

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #Fanonwriter2023 on AO3 #buddie fanfic #ao3 fanfic #buddie wip #Several Sentences Sunday #Seven Sentence Sunday #Hiatus Reading #911 fox #911 abc #911 on abc #911 on fox #911fox

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night-market-if · 1 year

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i haven’t seen my best friend in almost 2 years until today.

we went on a coffee date to catch up for the first time in a long time because life somehow poked holes into our plans and something always managed to get in the way. we went out to a coffee shop that’s connected to an old book store. it’s the place where we first met when we were 13. we’re both 24 now and we decided that it was the place we wanted to be when we see each other again. we caught up on our lives and i brought up my fixation on The Night Market.

i went into details about the amazing world building and the fleshed out characters that have their faults and their flaws but nevertheless deserve all the love. she became invested and used my laptop to read the chapters and fell in love with characters herself, we laughed over our love for caliban, because everyone deserves a caliban in their life and cried over her relating a little too much with hazel wanting her brother back. we teared up and took a healthy break when malcolm was pulled through the gate.

i held my tongue so she could get to experience all the twists and turns of the world you created. she read the latest patreon released chapter and was in awe with the ending and how she turned all milo’s red flags’ green out of simple denial and love for him. she compared milo to peter pan if peter ended up in The Night Market instead of Neverland. we ended up sitting and talking for hours until the coffee shop had to close. we promised that we would find a way to make time and get together again once you release the wip of the second book so we can pick up where the book left off.

i could go into more details but i won’t. i’m honestly surprised there isn’t a word limit on here because damn. i apologize for this being so long. i doubt that me telling you about my day is the last thing you expect to read whenever you receive this but i just got home a little while ago and i just wanted to tell how much i appreciate the time and effort it took to create such a masterpiece of a story. i appreciate you as a person for sharing your work with everyone and your passion for all of this is shown through every word you’ve written over the past year.

you deserve all the support in the world and congratulations on your kickstarter almost reaching it’s goal. my best friend and i decided we want to support you whenever we have the financial opportunity to.

you created something that people can bond over and you must be a special, special person to be able to do that. i had a small fear that when i saw her today, we would’ve realized that we’ve grown too much as adults to be able to connect again but if anything today just pulled us together closer than ever and i have you to thank for being a part of that. i wish you nothing but the best for not just you but your loved ones too.

from the bottom of my heart again, thank you. 💐

Well you made me cry.

As someone who connects with their best friend through stories and creativity, I get this one. Stories have been some of the best ways to connect with the people in my life and to know that this game helped you two in this situation is very personal to me. I didn't know my game could be considered something like that for someone else. The fact that it is only makes me feel so much gratitude towards all of you.

I am glad you and your friend were able to reconnect. I think the transition you are in right now is one of the hardest. You still have some really amazing connections in life but because you are trying hard to navigate how to do the adult world yourself, those connections can sometimes get lost. I promise you, good friends can go years without seeing each other, however, and pick right back up. And it will not always be this way. There is going to come a point where it can and will be different. You just got to give it time.

I have two amazing friends in my life. One, who I have known for 30 years. She is practically my sister but I only see her once a year because of life. The other, @mooreaux, who I rabidly see at least once or twice a week. Both of these individuals have always been story people with me and it's provided me with the best kind of friendship I could have. I hope for this for you and your friend.

I cannot wait for you two to start reading book 2 together. Please message me when you guys do. I would love to hear about your guys day.

With all my love,

Zinnia

🪷✨🪷✨ If you want to support me 🪷 ✨🪷✨

Demo 🌿 Patreon 🌿 Ko-fi 🌿Discord🌿Kickstarter

#the night market #anon love #interactive fiction #twine game #personal

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sxrrandomfanfics · 10 months

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😇💔🏳️‍🌈 from the ask game for any of the Aquatos?

A religious headcanon - Romani actually have their own religion! And a way of expressing their religion. I think that Donatella, while having Romani roots, was Catholic for her childhood and Augustus both adopted some of the Catholic holidays, and taught Donatella about her roots.

An Angst Headcanon - Donatella and Augustus mostly keep their children sheltered because of Augustus's loss of his father (and later revealed his mother). They're terrified that if they go too far away from home, they'll die. Especially with the water curse. This is why Augustus talked to Raz about the family's enemies and how "I only wanted you to be happy, Razputin. And safe." (Augustus, Psychonauts 1)

Sexuality Headcanons * Nona - thinks labels are pretty neat, has a variety that she changes to depending on her mood and use of colors for things. Sometimes bi, sometimes pan, sometimes omni, sometimes ally because that's a pretty neat flag in her opinion. * Augustus - Augustus labels himself more cause he thinks that's what people are supposed to do, but takes it in the broadest sense he can. He likes the colors of the bi flag, though sometimes labels himself as pan. * Donatella - Donatella I think has found the bi label a long time ago and kept it. She doesn't like the change things in the community, but after PN2 when she's accepting of psychics she's like "You know what, fuck it, if someone wants to be in a relationship where they identify using a label than what business is it to me?" * Dion - Dion found the bi flag and loved the colors. He's been rizzing up ladies and fellows whenever he could during circus shows to get a little extra tip money. Doesn't quite get the extra omni or pan labels until he hangs around the Motherlobe and meets people like that. * Frazie - Lesbian. She tried to like guys but they weren't her style. She only liked girls. * Raz - he's confused cause he doesn't hit puberty and "the talk" made him uncomfortable, but a little while after puberty is in swing he starts to realize he's bi. Honestly, I think Raz would be attracted to those who are on far ends of the gender spectrum. He's a mix of "I want their gender" and "I want to kiss them" when seeing manly men and tomboys, and when he sees feminine boys and feminine girls he is silently hoping to "sweep them off their feet." * Mirtala - No label yet, I think finds labels to be too constrictive and choses to have no label and date anyone. * Queepie - No label yet, grows up with him adopting the aro/ace label.

#the aquato family #psychonauts 2 spoilers #psychonauts 2

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voskhozhdeniye · 1 year

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Musical Obsessions 2022

Afrorack: The Afrorack

Aphex Twin‘s Radiator (Original Mix)

Arbiter‘s Clarity

Ari Lennox’s Pressure

The Belltower’s Plastic Man

Beyoncé: RENAISSANCE*

Bill Orcutt: Music For Four Guitars

Björk: fossora

Boards of Canada‘s 1969

Bob Moses’ Love Brand New

Bobby Timmons‘ Moanin

Chat Pile: God’s Country*

Coil, lots of Coil.

Cold Gawd: God Get Me the Fuck Out of Here

Conway the Machine‘s John Woo Flick & Stressed

Daniel Rossen: You Belong There

David Axelrod‘s The Human Abstract & The Fly

Depeche Mode‘s In Your Room

Dexter Gordon‘s Cheese Cake

Don Cherry: Brown Rice

Earth: Earth 2

Emeka Ogboh: 6°30′33.372″N 3°22′0.66″E

Eric Dolphy: Out There*

Fivio Foreign’s What’s My Name

Gnod: Hexen Valley

God Body Disconnect: Spiral of Grief

Grachan Moncur III*

Hainbach: Core Memory

James Nasty’s Don’t Stop

Kae Tempest‘s Salt Coast

Kilo Kish: AMERICAN GURL

Kristofer Maddigan‘s Funfair Fever

Lovesliescrushing, lots of Lovesliescrushing*

Mario Lino Stancati‘s Torna a sparire

Pan Daijing: Tissues

Paradise Blossom: Sunset Getaway

PJ Harvey, lots of PJ Harvey

Pusha T: It’s Almost Dry

Rachika Nayar: Heaven Come Crashing

The Smile’s Open The Floodgates, Waving A White Flag & Skrting On The Surface*

Sondra Sun-Odeon‘s Desyre & Hit

Sonic Youth: Washing Machine*

Sonny Sharrock*

Sudan Archives: Natural Brown Prom Queen

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Cool It Down

Yellow Swans, lots of Yellow Swans*

Youth Valley: Youth Valley EP

Zola Jesus’s Sewn

Bold and italicized indicates a favorite released this year.

The Beyoncé, Chat Pile, Emeka Ogboh and God Body Disconnect albums are my favorites from the year. The Daniel Rossen album gets a special mention for being beautiful, and sounding like Yellow House part 2. According to my Last.fm, I listened to more music this year than I did last year. I said I wasn’t going to do that, but oh well. I listened to over 50 albums from this year. That list only mentions 18 of them.

I have pretty much stopped listening to commercial radio. Ari, Fivio and Bob Moses are the only things I heard on the radio I liked this year.

The last two years have been me casting a rather large net, and seeing what I found that I liked. This year has been me exploring artists adjacent to the ones I learned about and fell in love with over these past two years. Then there was my desire to really dive deeper into jazz this year. While I’m sure that’s going to continue, because there’s just so much to explore. Next year I want to start digging through all of the electronic albums the synth bros swear are the most important albums ever made.

Beyoncé: Very early into getting into synths I realized that most of the synth forums are populated by obnoxious cis white heterosexual dudes. A guy I follow on Youtube made a video about his interactions with them a year or two ago. They are very closed minded. They do not respect artists of color, women, the usual shit. When Aphex Twin picks up an 808, it’s the greatest thing of all time. When Beyoncé or Metro Boomin pick up an 808 or Pharmakon uses her modular, that’s not music. The fact that RENAISSANCE explicitly culls its influences from Black dance music throughout the past 50 years has made listening to it the most fun I’ve had this year. If you’ve listened to any of the patches I’ve uploaded in the past 6 months, you’ll hear there’s been an influence.

Chat Pile: That’s what living in America feels like right now. Watching shit collapse around you.

Eric Dolphy: My first jazz albums were A Kind of Blue and other late fifties early sixties Miles albums. They all sound like what I expected jazz to sound like. It took me moving on to seventies Miles and finally late Coltrane for me to come back to those sixties albums. I’ve expanded what I listen to since then, but I really wanted this year to be the year I really went searching for jazz that scratched an itch the way I do for other styles. This was the year it really hit me that I’ll never get to hear all the music I’ll ever want to hear. There’s a sub genre of jazz named third stream, it attempts to meld classical and jazz together into a new genre. I’m not sure if he was actively attempting to do this while he was alive, but his music has become an example of the style. This is just a gorgeous, haunting album.

Grachan Moncur III: A completely different style of jazz compared to Dolphy. Moncur‘s style was incredibly moody and atmospheric. Him, Mingus and Alan Shorter are my favorite jazz composers I’ve stumbled upon so far. Moncur was basically my guiding light this year. After finding his bandleader work, I started to look for albums that had him as a sideman and composer. That would introduce me to other soloist I enjoyed, and then I’d start getting into them. Rinse and repeat. So my favorite thing this year is learning to actually pay attention to who composed a song, and using that to open doors. My favorite jazz song is Mephistopheles, the last track on Wayne Shorter‘s The All Seeing Eye. I learned his brother Alan wrote it years ago, and that’s how I got into Alan’s music. This year has just been me taking that idea to the extreme. When I say this is the most music I’ve ever listened to in a year. I mean it......

Lovesliescrushing: Cough Syrup Shoegaze

The Smile: Every album Thom has worked on over the last decade has had an unreleased Radiohead song on it. Radiohead were the last band I super obsessed over when that was a thing I did. They’ve played a lot of these songs live, so I know and have heard them many, many, many times. I’ve known Skrting On The Surface for a decade now. It was my favorite of the unreleased songs. Skrting On The Surface has become another in a line of songs where I prefer the live version to the album version. Of course I can always look them up on Youtube, but everybody hears the album version. Who is looking up a poorly shot video with pristine audio of a unreleased Radiohead song from 2008. As a side note, this has ruined Swans’ To Be Kind and The Glowing Man for me. Those pre album live versions destroy the studio versions. The way The Seer, She Loves Us and Bring The Sun feel like bombs live. Michael was having rips of Not Here/Not Now pulled off of Youtube back when it came out. They sold it as a way to fund recording To Be Kind, but if you ever get a chance to hear that.... The live version of Avatar rearranged my DNA back in 2012.

Sonic Youth: Sonic Youth remind me of Miles Davis. I got Goo and Experimental Jet Set, Trash And No Star years ago, and just did not like them. I love Tunic, and that’s the only thing from them I would listen to. I kept hearing people talking about how amazing they were. Eventually I asked a mutual what albums they were listening to. He said he hated Goo and Experimental Jet Set, Trash And No Star too. He pointed me in the direction of Bad Moon Rising. I liked that and started moving forward. I picked up Washing Machine this year. If only I had started there........

Sonny Sharrock: Damn, damn, damn, damn!

Yellow Swans: I am typing this in late September. Right now I’m making beat heavy music with the Digitone and Syntakt, but in my dreams I make noise and drone.

I have not chosen what albums are going in the car next year. I usually choose months, if not years, yes years, in advance. I’m going to wing it next year.

Last year’s list.

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madkovacs · 2 years

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U - 3 favorite characters from 3 different fandoms, and why they're you're favorite 😈

Ariel

Obviously, she is my everything. My dad tells me this story all the time so why not expose myself. When I was about 3 years old, he borrowed The Little Mermaid VHS from his then girlfriend at the time and brought it home cause she said I'd probably like it. Anyway, I did and the only thing I could say for a while after it ended was Ariel Ariel Ariel . She means alot to me because she has always been there for me, through all the good and bad and she always will be. People come and go but she never will. It sounds cheesy and ridiculous but I'm 25, and my family still asks me if I still like Ariel.

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

My cousin and I used to be babysat by our twin uncles who are quite younger than our parents so they were the "fun" uncles who had all the systems and all the games and would let us stay up all night. One day they asked me "You like Disney right?" of course I did, I was a 5 year old girl. They showed me this game and I have never been the same. Sora means alot to me because I would spend hours and hours with him going on amazing disney adventures, he was everything to me. Every new game that came out I had to have, regardless if he was in it or not. KHll is my favourite and I have a tattoo on my right upper arm. I had a mental breakdown after the 3rd game a couple years ago because I thought he was gone forever, and it made me realize how much I truly loved him.

Rick Flag

Rick is a very special character to me, since the original Suicide Squad. I worked at the movie theatre, so it was very easy to see movies anytime I wanted. This was a DC film so naturally we saw it the day before opening night, preview day. I remember thinking wow, this guy is having a rough time. I truly felt bad for the guy, he couldn't catch a break this whole movie. Part of me felt bad that I kept laughing at the movie and the character because I don't think they meant it to be funny but it was just hilarious. When they do the window pan shot of the raining falling on the window, and Rick is looking out all somber and shit, then he pulls out a fucking chicken wing and just takes a bite, not a care in the world in that moment, I BURST. I had to cover my face I couldn't contain the laughter. After the movie I went straight to the games store and bought the Funko Pop. I saw that movie a lot after that and every viewing I brought my mini flag and we watched the shit show together. I called my funko The Chicken Wing Man, and he lived on my shelf with my other funkos for a while but he was always lonely, since the other funkos all had friends from their respective universes. I remember when I saw the teaser for The Suicide Squad and Flag showed up I was baffled, where was my chicken wing man?? This man wasn't him, this man was hot I was so hyped, when he first came on screen I was patting the hell out of my boyfriend next to me. I wa so happy for him, seriously, this is what my chicken wing man deserved. Then of course, heart crushing devastation. I had trouble talking about how I felt about the film on the drive home because I burst into tears and uncontrollable sobs when we brought it up again. Everytime I watch I still cry. I am so grateful he was given the chance to reinvent himself and be his best version. And thanks to that, my funko Chicken Wing Man isn't alone anymore, he has his own little troop to keep him company ❤️

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thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole · 2 years

Text

OMIGOD GUYS

Remember when I told y'all abt the person in the theatre lobby wearing the pansexual flag T-shirt who I complimented and seeing a queer in the wild just brightened my day? WELL

THE THRILLING SEQUEL

I MET A GIRL AT SUMMER CAMP WHO WAS SUPER NICE AND LOOKED VAGUELY FAMILIAR AND ONLY WHEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS PAN DID I REALIZE

IT WAS HER

SHE WAS THERE TO SEE A FRIEND OF HERS WHO WAS IN THE PLAY WHO WAS THE FRIEND OF MINE FROM CAMP WHO WAS IN IT, AND THIS CAMP WAS THE CAMP I MET THE OTHER FRIEND AT

SMALL WORLD

she's super nice and we were both blown away by finding each other again somehow. We stargazed together and hung out in the closet of our cabin (for obvious gay reasons) and we decided we should switch haircuts bc she's trans and wants a more fem haircut like mine whereas I want one like hers cuz its short and masc looking and I almost fell asleep on her shoulder listening to our other friends music

I love this girl I can't believe she's the random queer person I met in the wild weeks ago lmao

also there was a nonbinary counselor at the camp and the girl and the counselor and I were making gay jokes abt the stars while lying in the field stargazing. Best summer camp ever

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loveize · 2 years

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6 & 11 for the pride ask game!!

6. what made you realize your current labels fit you?

my stepbrother told me he was pan quite a while ago and i felt like it fit me. after several years i changed my label to bi, partly due to ignorance and seeing a ton of those stupid "here's why pan is bad" posts on instagram. i don't believe that stuff anymore and i've thought about going back to calling myself pan but honestly i love being bisexual. i used to think i might be ace or demisexual but i've realized i'm definitely not ace and i LOVE being sexual lol, as for demisexual i've decided that even if that definition fits me it's just not for me. i love calling myself queer, and i consider myself sapphic too, though i'm more attracted to men. i think i would consider myself polyam as well due to wanting that kind of relationship even though i'm in a monogamous relationship and have only ever been in monogamous relationships. lately i've been contemplating calling myself femme as well, but that's on the back burner for now. i've questioned my gender in the past but realized that i love being a girl. sorry that was a lot, i think that covers pretty much everything though lol

11. do you like your flag(s)?

yes! i love love love the bi flag, the other ones are pretty too <3

#thanks for the ask!

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lacontroller1991 · 3 years

Text

Burnt Skies (Rick Flag x Fem!Reader)

@h-hxgirl

Requested by Anon: Saw this captain boomerang fanfic where he finds she's pregnant while they're on mission, I was wondering if you could maybe do something similar for Rick

Author's Note: He would be so protective of the reader fr fr, also this is gonna be angst angst angst so just beware

Warning: Death, pregnancy, language, blood, major character death, spoilers

“Hey (Y/N), you ready to go?” Rick’s voice echoed through the room before he halted, seeing you on the floor, head in the toilet.

“Yeah, give me a minute,” you replied weakly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and flushing the toilet.

“Are you sure? Are you feeling alright?” He asked, rubbing your back as you looked up at him with a small smile.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll meet you there,” nodding his head, he walked out the door with guns strapped to his body on his tac vest. Looking at your reflection, you noticed a slight greenish tint to your face. Ignoring the wave of nausea, you made your way out of the base and to the plane. Walking up the ramp, you took a seat next to Rick who looked at you with concern in his brown eyes.

“Baby, maybe you should sit this one out. You aren’t looking too hot,” he whispered in your ear as you brushed the notion off. After all, you did have a really bad gut feeling about this mission.

“I’m here. I’m going,” you stated firmly as he looked you over one more time before shrugging his shoulders, knowing it was of no use to argue with you.

----------

The plane ride was hell. With the criminals being loud and Harley’s non stop chatter accompanying your periodic bouts of nausea, you were ready to get the hell off of the plane and right into combat.

“Alright guy, get ready to drop,” Rick shouted as the cargo door opened to reveal water beneath you. Once he gave the signal, you jumped into the cool water and began to swim your way to the mainland, waiting for the rest of the team to catch up to you. After everyone, save for the Weasel, had made it to the shore, you glanced over to your boyfriend who was laying next to Harley.

“Hey guys, it’s me. I’m the guy who called you and I brought my friends,” Blackguard shouted into the open, raising his hands while ignoring the shouts coming from the rest of the team and your boyfriend, Waller’s distant cursing ringing in your ear. Next thing you know, there was gunfire in every direction and things went to chaos. You quickly sought shelter behind a rock and shot off a few rounds into the woods, hoping to take down some of the Corto Maltese soldiers. “(Y/N), watch out,” Rick shouted at you as you turned to see what he was talking about, but it was too late before a large piece of debris from one of the trees knocked you out cold.

You woke up to machines attached to your body. Feeling the bile rise in your throat, you tried to get out of the restraints and look for a place to dump the contents of your stomach. Suddenly a pan was placed in front of you and that was all you needed to release the bile. Groaning at the light, you looked around the room and was surprised to see a cleanish room which plenty of nurses occupied.

“Ah good, you’re awake,” a voice commented as a rough hand pulled your head back, forcing you to look up at one of the generals you were tasked to take out.

“What the hell are you doing to me?” You asked, squirming your body against the bed, trying to loosen some of the restraints.

“Mi amore, we are treating you. Seems you have caught a parasite,” he replied before summoning the nurse over to you, carrying a plate of food and some juice, “you’re government must really be struggling if they’re sending pregnant women into the field,” he mentioned as your blood ran cold.

“That’s impossible,” muttering to yourself, your head went fuzzy at the concept of you being pregnant. With Rick’s kid.

“On the contrary, when we brought in your friend and you, we noticed certain things,” motioning down to your stomach only brought awareness to the fact that you were practically naked in a room full of the enemy.

“Let me go,” you pleaded, pulling your arms as much as you could.

“I think not,” he replied before nodding to one of the nurses who moved to turn on a machine and attach it to your head. Screams of agony soon left your lips, blocking out the sudden spurts of gunfire in the halls.

----------

Harley laughed maniacally as she gunned down multiple soldiers, enjoying the way they were dropping to the floor. She needed to get out of there. She needed to find the others. After the last one dropped to the floor, she moved toward the door before hearing a piercing scream echo down the hallway.

“Sounds like someone’s having fun,” she ran her tongue against her teeth before skipping toward the scream. Slamming open the door, she raised the guns in her hand, ready to fire, until she saw you laying on the table surrounded by nurses.

“No one messes with Flag’s girl,” she muttered to herself before unloading the magazine in the room. All of the nurses slinked to the ground, covered in a pool of their own blood. Rushing over to you, Harley unstrapped the restraints and head piece before taking out the IV and looked for your clothes.

“Where the hell are ya clothes?” She asked, searching high and low before she found a bag filled with your bloody uniform. Helping you sit up, she noted the way you looked super frail but practically glowing at the same time.

“Harley,” you whispered out to her before passing out on her shoulder. “Awww, this would be really cute if not for the circumstances,” she stated out loud to herself, peering out of the window and seeing a guy in a helmet run across the street with Flag. Wait a minute, Flag! Running out the door, she ran around the corner before stopping in front of the two men.

“Hiya guys! What’s up?”

“We’re here to save you, is (Y/N) with you?” Rick asked with hope in his voice as Harley nodded, wrapping pale fingers around his wrist and dragging him back inside and through the pile of bodies she had claimed. At the sight of you, Rick ran to your side and hugged your limp body.

“What’s wrong with her?” He asked, fighting the tears that were beginning to surface.

“Don’t worry puddin’, she’s just asleep,” shrugging her shoulders, she left the room as you stirred, fluttering your eyes open.

“Rick?” You questioned as he rapidly nodded his head, placing kisses all along your face.

“Thank God you’re ok. I thought I lost you.”

“Rick, the doctors found something,” memories of the conversation you had moments ago replayed in your brain. You’re pregnant.

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered, mind still not comprehending the fact that you were pregnant. After all, you had been infertile most of your life. Avoiding his gaze, you waited for his response.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m going to be a dad,” he whispered, causing your head to snap up and see a smile play against his face.

“You want this? I don’t know if it’ll carry to term. You know that I’m infertile.” Placing his lips against yours, he pulled you into his arms, hugging you as close as he could to his body. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you kissed back before a throat clearing interrupted you.

“This is sweet and all, but we have a fucking monster to kill,” DuBois stated as you looked up at Rick who smiled.

“Stay here, I’ll come back and get you.”

“I’m not leaving your side,” you replied as he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re pregnant. No way in living hell am I gonna allow you to do this. You’ll stay here and that’s an order,” you and he both hated when he had to pull his rank, but you realized it was necessary in cases like this.

“Just come back to me,” pulling his lips down against yours for what feels like the last time, you encoded this moment into your brain, remembering the way he tasted.

“For you? Always.”

----------

He should’ve known you were going to follow them into Jotunheim. Not only were you stubborn, but you still had that nagging feeling that something was going to happen. Sneaking past the military, you found a window and busted it open with your elbow before entering the building. Landing with a soft thud, you looked around the room and noticed Peacemaker going down a dark tunnel. Running after him, you made sure to stay hidden by the numerous pillars. Peering around the corner, you saw Ratcatcher standing next to Rick, however Peacemaker was pointing a gun at Rick.

“Nobody is saying what they did was right,” Peacemaker stated, hand unwavering.

“They experimented on children!” Rick yelled as more explosions went off in the distance.

“That information gets out and it causes an international incident. Keeping the peace is worth any price, including the life of a hero like yours, sir, so please. Don’t make me do this,” your stomach churned. You knew that Captain America wannabe was no good, and now your love might just pay the price. Suddenly, rocks collapsed all around you, obscuring your view of Rick and Peacemaker.

“No,” you whispered to yourself, picking up rocks and trying to make a hole for you to get your body through. Your efforts became faster the more you heard the two men grunting. After successfully digging a hole big enough for you, you crawled through as you heard something like porcelain shatter and choking.

“You mother fucker,” Rick stated through gritted teeth as you watched in slow motion, Peacemaker’s hand grasping a large shard.

“Rick!” You shouted out before tackling him off Christopher’s body, not getting out of the way soon enough as Peacemaker lodged the porcelain into your lower abdomen. “No!” Rick shouted as Peacemaker threw you off. In the distance somewhere, you heard a gun go off before hands wrapped around your body. “(Y/N)? (Y/N)?” Rick called to you but you couldn’t hear him, your mind venturing off.

----------

The sun lit your face through the blinds, dancing in your eyes and creating a multitude of hues, a warm body pressed against you.

“Morning sweetheart,” voice deep from slumber, Rick rubbed his eyes as he let out a yawn. Stretching in bed before your 5 year old daughter came running into the room.

“Mommy, daddy. It’s Christmas!” She squealed excitedly, waking up the baby that was next door.

“Yeah it is baby, you excited for your presents?” You asked as she rapidly nodded while Rick slid out of the bed.

“I’ll go grab little Digger,” he commented, kissing your forehead and your daughter’s head. Getting up, you went to grab a coffee before the doorbell rang. Moving to open it, you saw Harley’s painted face waiting for you with Nanaue, Cleo, Robert and Abner carrying presents.

“Merry Christmas dollface,” she exclaimed, pulling you in for a hug before running off to see her god daughter.

“Come in guys,” you motioned for them to enter as Rick rounded the corner, your 10 month old in his arms.

“So this is the little guy, huh?” Cleo asked as Sebastian waved a hand at the newborn, earning giggles from the baby.

“Yep, Digger Anthony Flag, meet your family,” Rick lifted up the baby’s arm, making him wave to everyone.

“I’m proud of you guys,” Robert commented, slapping a hand on Rick’s back as everyone shuffled into the living room, Nanaue taking up most of the space.

“Thanks man, it wouldn't have happened without you.”

“Alright, everyone ready for presents?” You asked the room with Harley by your side, Harleen in her arms. Rick placed Digger in Cleo’s arms before walking up to you and bringing you into his side.

“I love you, Mrs. Flag.”

“And I you, Mr. Flag.”

----------

Groaning, you felt an excruciating pain in your abdomen and a feeling of loss?

“(Y/N), baby, you’re awake,” his tired voice resonated in your ear as he leaned down to kiss your forehead, his hand not leaving yours.

“I feel like I got hit by a truck,” you commented as he sniffled, trying to suppress the tears that threatened to escape.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he noted, petting your hair and placing another kiss on your forehead.

“And leave our kid without a father? I don’t think...”, realization dawned on you at that moment. The sudden feeling of loss and the pain in that general area washed over you as you began crying. “Oh God, the baby is gone, isn’t it?” You asked through tears as he let a couple slip down his face, nodding and trying to smile through the pain. Choking back a sob, you turned your face away from him as tears continued to fall.

“Hey, look at me,” he whispered, squeezing your hand. Shaking your head, you refused to meet his hazel eyes, “(Y/N), look at me.” Turning your head, your eyes locked onto his as he continued to smooth down your hair.

“We’re alive. We’re both alive. That’s all that matters,” he replied, crawling into the hospital bed with you and pulling you against his chest as you cried into his shirt.

“What if I never get pregnant again?”

“We will. I’ll make sure of it. I’m done with the fucking task force. Waller can find someone else to puppet. But I’m done. You’re done. We’re gonna get married and have a nice house. I’ll get a new job and we’ll figure it out. I promise.” Kissing the top of your head, he wrapped his arms around you as you calmed down.

“I love you,” you whispered against his chest as he hugged you closer.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

Author’s Note: Well this was way longer than I intended it to be. But hope you enjoy!!

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 2 years

Note

Sea how are you alive after seeing that in person???

Reflections on Louis' Detroit show:

1. I bought a ticket from Ticketmaster verified resale at 12 PM for the show that same day, and then packed lightly and took off on a long drive. I got to Detroit around 5:20 PM with plenty of time to spare, and then... took a wrong turn. Let’s just say I might have been an international traveler for 45 minutes. Canadians are nice people.

2. I followed Mssr. Google's directions to the Fillmore, a gorgeous marquee with a loooooooonnnnngggg line out the door. The sunset was gorgeous, skies clear with peachy pastel colors, and fairy lights everywhere. I circled the blocks until I found a shady looking (as in dubious) parking space and paid my $10, next to a rusty utility truck. I sat and tried to stay calm while my chest fluttered at a thousand miles an hour. Louis!! In the same city!! A few blocks away! I ate three bites of my sandwich and gave up. I'll eat when I'm dead. Popped open my can of water because HYDRATION.

3. I saw two lines out the Fillmore and naturally went into the shorter line? Just to be sure, I asked the person in front of me what we were waiting for, and he answered, "Mama Spaghetti." FML, I ran around the corner and walked four blocks down to the longer line. I realize now that going to a Louis Tomlinson concert as a solo Louie and octagenarian is probably a health hazard, but Louis told me YOLO! Take a fucking chonce!! (I kept hearing @silverfoxlou say, “I don’t mind going to concerts by myself,” and strangely this thought comforted me.) Fearless.mp369 played in my head.

4. Behind me in line were a couple who "graduated from college two decades ago," and a few other men were scattered around me. Good signs! Ahead of me, a group of girls took pictures of a H*rry St*les air freshener hanging on a rearview mirror. Then the lady behind me (in her forties) whispered, "Do you hear that?" Music was percolating out of a car window, and we looked at each other and muttered; it was Kill My Mind. Saved by a fellow music-focused Louie! We mentally high-fived and inched ahead in the wintry dusk, a trail of abandoned fleece blankets, empty water bottles, pizza boxes and rainbow flags all along the route. Once I submitted my vax card + ID, I was in, baby. The venue was gorgeous.

5. The merch line was long but moved reasonably fast. I bought merch around 7:40 PM, and the white tour T-shirts only had sizes XL, 2XL, and 3XL left. The demand was astounding. Free bottles of water were available in various places, and I’m sure Louis paid for it all. Then I met @comradelouis! She was SOOO lovely. Hi Julia!

6. When the lights darkened for We Made It, the excitement in the room was THROUGH THE ROOF. I could understand why people pass out— adrenaline is going 30,000 miles per minute. WMI is such a great choice for a tour opener. The drums are so, so hot. When Louis first walks out, there’s a collective gasp of utter disbelief like... holy moly. It’s really him. Louis looks tiny and gigantic at the same time, larger than life, but in a boyish pixie-like way, neat and elegant, and so very, very, very, very pretty. Delicate, commanding, beautiful, happy— a young, immortal god. A star.

7. One song segues into another song, and even though I knew from watching livestreams when Louis would do his little chats, they were nevertheless charming and enchanting. Louis must have a regular work-out routine during tour (he must), because he can talk at high speed, have very good breath control while singing, and basically sprints from one side of the stage to the other side continually for 85 minutes. In between, he engages with fans, reads signs, dodges and catches stuff thrown on stage, all on the spur of the moment. I was trying to capture it on video, and I had to pan fast enough to follow him without blurring everything! He is lively and speedy! Some of the chats are, of course, scripted, but there is a feeling of genuine gratitude in what Louis says and does, because he will back his words with actions. The crowd felt it too. Compared to Poptopia 2019 (where I saw him in San Jose), Louis has almost a more cocky confidence on stage. He’s happier, looser, and having more fun himself. It doesn’t feel as much like work but like a party, a celebration. All the musicians on stage are also looser and more familiar with each other.

8. Musically, the highlights for me are Beautiful War, 7, Always You, Copy, Walls, Only the Brave, and Kill My Mind. Louis was on fire with all the songs at Detroit, and by 7, you could tell that he knew it. He owned those songs. It is so thrilling to see him in the zone, hitting the high notes, improvising note changes, enjoying being on stage. The crowd was feeling it too, and the more we hyped him up, the more he gave it back. This kind of atmosphere is rare on tour. I know we complain about the screaming of certain lyrics, but they don’t last very long, and Louis ignores them, for the most part. The high falsetto in Only the Brave in Detroit is the best one he’s done all tour, spot on on pitch and beautiful in tone. The crowd’s reaction during Only the Brave is hard to adequately describe— there’s both immense joy in sharing a safe place together and happiness for Louis. In front of me, two young women hugged each other tightly. Louis’ warm response to the colors of pride in front of him... while wonderful in livestreams, it feels entirely different in person, much more emotionally charged, personal, and intense. The moment is indelible.

9. Louis’ jumping down to the barricades... f-ing SURREAL. The weird thing is that I kind of suspected he would do it, from the way that Louis was leaning over the barricades at stage right during Through the Dark. If this tour has taught me anything new, it’s that Louis really loves his thrills and has a healthy appetite for risk-taking.... for better or for worse. Louis is the life of the party, the belle of the ball, and he couldn’t be a boring person if he tried. He will ALWAYS be the leader, and you can trust him to give everyone a good time while making sure people are safe. As a concert, Detroit was on a whole other level! Even though there were less than 3000 people (some of the chairs were empty), the screams were some of the loudest I have ever heard in concerts, and in Through the Dark, the mezzanine floor was literally shaking. People were smiling, screaming, and singing until he walked off the stage and the last note was played. His crew are such cool professionals, so good at what they do. The lights and smoke are perfectly timed and amazing to see. It was INSANE in the best way. I never wanted the concert to end 🥲🥲🥲

If you have the opportunity, definitely go see Louis. In spite of being a minority in not being a Larrie, I thought it was super, super fun, and Louis made it worthwhile.

LINKS TO DETROIT HIGHLIGHTS AND MY VIDEOS FROM THE CONCERT

#detroit #ltwt2022detroit #my impressions

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letarasstuff · 3 years

Text

Doesn't she love me anymore?

(A/N): This was requested by an anon, I hope you like it as much as I do!

Summary: Spencer's daughter starts to question why her mother left the small family early on

Warnings: Mentions/undertones of bullying, an absent parent and descreptions of the concequences for the child, So. Much. Angsty. Feelings.

Wordcount: 2.5k

✨Masterlist✨ _________________________________

“Daddy?” Spencer turns around from the frying pan to look at his daughter. Against common belief, he is quite the cook. But this only started when he became a father, after he realized a child won’t be able to live off of a diet consisting of coffee and anxiety, just like he did at the time. “Yes, Sweetheart?”

She looks down to the piece of paper on the kitchen counter in front of her. “Why did Mommy leave us?”

The spatula falls to the ground. It’s a question the father did not expect on a Tuesday morning before school. “It’s because of me, isn’t it? She saw me the first time and didn’t want me anymore. It’s my fault Mommy left us, left you, just like Linda said.” Tears begin to stream down her face.

“No no no”, her father is quick to turn off the heat and walks around the island to hug his daughter. “None of this is your fault. I don’t know what this Linda said, but it is not true. Your mother had her own reasons to stay out of our lives, but it has nothing to do with you.”

This doesn’t calm her down. “What are her reasons? Why did she leave us? Why did leave me?” Frantically she tries to keep her sobs down in order to speak. Spencer never has seen her this upset.

“Sweetheart, are you sure you are in the right state to talk about it now? Why don’t we calm down and get something for breakfast on our way to school and talk about it after I pick you up this afternoon?” He suggests, hoping the thought of a cup of hot chocolate from their favorite bakery would help her.

(Y/N) looks up at him with bloodshot and glassy eyes. Snot runs down from her nose. Spencer is quick to get her a tissue and make her blow into it, cringing internally about all those germs. “Do you promise to tell me more after school?” Big eyes look up at him and the father hurts. It hurts him, because there are so many things in her future that will break her and all that because of her mother. He can’t shield her from all of it, as much as he wants to he isn’t able. Because there always will be people, people like this Linda, who will make the girl conscious of her absent mother.

“I promise”, he tells her and holds his little finger out for her. (Y/N) smiles while linking hers with his, knowing her father will keep this promise just like any other of his. “Good, and now pack up we got a bakery to visit!” Quickly the girl grabs the piece of paper in front of her only to shove it into her backpack.

A little later she sits at her desk and looks at her teacher expectantly, just like her fellow classmates. “Ok children, today we won’t work further on our addition and subtraction worksheets-” The teacher’s sentence is cut short by the eruption of cheerful shouts. Just (Y/N) looks at the multiplication sheet in front of her.

The teacher is quick to quiet the class again. “Instead we will continue our work on the mother’s card you started doing yesterday. Linda was so kind to tell me that you don’t have the chance to finish them at home, because your moms are there. That is why you do it here and your worksheets at home.”

With a frown on her face (Y/N) pulls out the blank piece of paper that made her feel bad ever since her teacher handed it out to her yesterday. While everybody around her chatters happily with other classmates, she just stares at the paper. It is a reminder of something she doesn’t have, something she lacks and will never get: A real mother. A hug from her mother. Not even the motherly reassurance one gets after a nightmare. Nothing.

“Hey orphan. Ya realizing your mom doesn’t love you and that’s why she left you?” Linda, someone (Y/N) later learns to call a Mean Girl, struts up to the younger one’s desk. A sigh leaves her lips before answering. “You do know for an orphan I need to have neither a mommy nor a daddy. And I do for a fact have a dad, a loving one actually.”

A more light than hard slap on the back of her head makes the girl’s body jolt. “I don’t care, but I know that your mom hates you enough just after looking at you to know she doesn’t want anything to do with you.” After that Linda goes back to her table, leaving (Y/N) feeling more miserable than before.

Some starring on the paper later her teacher passes her table. “Is there something you want to talk about, Sweetheart? You seem very sad.” That is an obvious fact. Finally the girl is able to lift her gaze. “Miss Ramirez, I don’t know what to do.” This is probably the first time ever she said this sentence in school.

“Mother’s day is in a few days, Sweetie, and this is why we all make these cards. It’s a thank you to your mom and a way to show her how much you love her. You love your mom, don’t you?” The shake of her head shocks the teacher. Immediately an alarming signal rings through her head, because this is a red flag. “Why? Did she do something?”

“Miss Ramirez, I don’t have a mommy. She- she left Daddy and me.” Tears fill (Y/N)’s eyes. Her teacher is quick to hug and sush her. “Oh Sweetie, this is not a bad thing. I’m sure your mom loves you very much, even if she is not there with you. Do you wanna go out for a bit to calm down?” Meanwhile she connects the obvious signs of a single dad in her mind. Missed parent teacher conferences, unnecessary hovering over the child and the tendency to be categorized as a helicopter parent. Yes, Dr. Reid ticks all of those boxes.

It’s the second time of the day that an adult asked (Y/N) to calm down, and frankly it doesn’t really help with the situation at hand. “Can I do my homework outside? It’s too loud in here”, she asks between sniffles. Both of them know that the class’ volume is not the real reason for the request. “Of course, Sweetheart. If you need something, just come in and ask me. Alright?” (Y/N) nods and gets her multiplication sheet and a pencil before leaving the classroom.

At the end of the school day, Spencer is there to pick up his daughter. For days like these, where are no cases, Hotch gave him a free pass on (Y/N)’s very first day at school to leave the office earlier to be able to pick her up himself. As a father and someone who works the same high demanding job as him, he knows that little things like these are often the most important. And even if there were a case today, Spencer would have stayed back. He promised his daughter the truth and this is what he is going to tell her.

“Hey Dr. Reid. Do you have a moment?” Her teacher greets him at the classroom door. Concerned about his child’s wellbeing he nods and follows her back out of the room. “I gave the children the assignment of creating a card for their mothers, because mother’s day is rolling around. Today (Y/N) told me her mother left you, is that right?” This is the moment Spencer connects the dots. This is the kick off that made her question her mother’s motives about leaving all of the sudden.

The young doctor clears his throat. “Uhm yes, that is right. Actually, I’m going to talk to her about it right after school on her demand.” Miss Ramirez nods with an understanding nod. “Thank you for your honesty, Dr. Reid. I also want to warn you, in two days we will hold a celebration in honor of mother’s day with the kids’ mothers. You are invited as a father, because this is a special situation. But I also give (Y/N) a free pass for this event. It can be very traumatic for her.”

The dad thanks her, but his thoughts are somewhere else. He is mad. He is mad for his daughter, because she will always be the one with a “special situation”. The odd one, because yeah, it isn’t uncommon for fathers to leave (which isn’t anything less sad and traumatic), but an absent mother hits differently.

But Spencer is also hurt. Hurt, because for her young age, there is already the word “traumatic” thrown around. No, it isn’t enough that her dad works a job with the risk of him not coming home from a case again, or being the target of an enemy. No, she also has to go through the experience of missing a parent, never knowing how her life would be if it wasn’t for someone like her mother.

Even with Spencer trying to fill that role, there will be a time where (Y/N) will ask herself all of the “what ifs”. He can’t stop it from happening, and that is his biggest pain right there. Because he can’t shield her from her own thoughts. At the age of six she already is a bright, brilliant and talented mind. Now in a few years or maybe just months, she will start to think about her mother being the root of her pain, bad experiences and hurt. Her thoughts will lead to a downward spiral of how a person can do something like her mother, who acted like that with the knowledge of which consequences will follow. And Spencer can’t stop this from happening.

“Daddy!” A small thud comes from (Y/N) colliding with his leg. Just by the way she squeezes it he knows that she hasn’t had a good day at school. “Hey Baby. Do you want to go to the office for a bit? I think your Auntie Penelope told me something about a new science set she got for you. Or do you want to go straight home?” Spencer asks after lifting her into his arms. Immediately she hides her face into the crook of his neck. “Home”, she murmurs. Home it is then.

“Aaaaaand here comes the little missy’s hot chocolate!” The father says in a funny voice while carefully putting the cup into his daughter’s hands. She sits covered in a blanket on the sofa, looking expectantly at her father.

Spencer sighs at the lack of reaction. “Are you sure you want to hear it?” (Y/N) nods adamantly. “Ok, but I got to go a bit back for this story

“It was about eight years ago, I worked on a case with your Aunties and Uncles back then. I was the one who had to get the last round of coffee for the night at a small 24/7 diner. As I walked in I thought I died, because I was sure an angel stood right in front of me. Well not-” “Is that Mommy?!” (Y/N) cuts him off excitedly. Spencer smiles slightly. “You need to listen to the story!” The girl shifts in her seat. “Right, sorry.”

As I was saying: well in front, because she sat at the bar waiting for her order. I nervously ordered the coffees and had to begin three times, because I kept messing up, mesmerized by her sole atmosphere. As the waiter went to put the coffee pot on, the woman turned towards me and introduced herself. After that she asked me what I was doing late at night in a small town like that and we somehow forgot everything around us by just talking. After that we stayed in touch. Six months later we became a couple, she moved to DC in order for me to still be able to do my job here.

“Two years later your Mom got pregnant with you, and it was quite a surprise to us. But we felt ready at that time and so she moved in with me and we had you. The first few months were great, we couldn’t be happier. BUt then you continuously became ill. At first just a cold, then the pocks and so on. I think it was the third night in a row where you held us up all night. I took a year off from work to care for you with your Mom. I carried you through our apartment the whole night, giving you a bottle, singing, reading, doing anything.

“Then I saw her standing in the doorway. Even though there was baby vomit on her sweatpants and I had never seen her eye bags being this dark, she was the most beautiful woman to me. I approached her with a smile, but her frown only deepened. I thought it was because she worried about you and your health. Instead she told me she can’t do it. She can’t be a mother, that she wasn’t cut for this job.” Her exact words still resonate in Spencer’s ears to this day. He knows exactly what she said, word for word, and they never stopped to sting any less.

“So Mommy left us because I was too much trouble?” (Y/N)’s voice sounds even sadder than before. “No, it never was because of you. She knew exactly what it meant to have a child. Your mother knew what kind of work it takes and what the future brought. You have absolutely nothing to do with it. Some people are just not made to be parents and it’s better when they realize it themselves and leave the situation.”

(Y/N) nods, her mind running wild. All of that makes plenty of sense but at the same time not. “Sweetheart, that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and I will never leave you. You are my everything and I’m so happy to be a dad to such a wonderful little girl like you. I want you to remember that your Mom may not be here with us, but she still loves you. And I’m here for you, for anything you need, want or don’t want. Do you understand me?”

She nods again and curls up into her father’s lap. “Can we watch something?” She asks after a bit of silence, where both of them indulged their own thoughts. Quickly the TV turned on and some kids movie plays. The rest of the day the small family spends all the time cuddled on the couch, because at the moment they need to feel the other there with them.

The next two days Spencer calls (Y/N) in sick at school and himself at work, because together they fly to Vegas. Just because her own mother wasn’t ready for the job, doesn’t mean they can’t appreciate the work her grandmother did as a mother. That and you never know how much time you have left with the people who are dear to you.

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