#the money's so insane rn i hope it stays that way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yojeongin · 2 years

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EVOL — I WANT YOU FOREVER

→club pres!renjun x publicity officer!reader

genre: smut, humor, fluff, romance, slice of life, coming of age

tw: ADULTS ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! oral sex (f receiving), fingering, hand job, virginity loss, protected sex, drinking, mentions of creepy guys at bars (please stay safe), praise kink, pet names, so much kissing.

wc: 7.2k+

m.list | previous | next

disclaimer: this is purely fictional; in no way am I condoning this behavior, trying to offend anyone, nor is it meant to place such image on the idol, these are only characters. read at your own discretion.

an: and we have reached the end with some smut, this took forever cause I just couldn’t get in the mood and I still don’t fully like it but anyways here we go <3 thank you guys for giving this series sm support!!

ps: I’ve made a spotify for this blog since I tend to get inspired by songs a lot so pls check it out, I tagged the evol playlist here and on the masterlist but the entire acc is linked in my master post (future fics and current fics playlists are being added rn)

How you and Renjun managed to get a room for the both of you, you couldn’t really tell.

Well— maybe you could, with the help of Chenle who convinced the sponsor that since you both were an item, it was most economical to just get a single bed room for the two of you.

To say the least the sponsor couldn’t really give a shit, the festival had paid for the hotels and plane tickets but if it made you all more comfortable then so be it, it’s not like he hasn’t spent more on the production overall (the things having money can do).

Of course when you had arrived at Jeju Island where the film festival was held and to the hotel, you had contacted your mother who very reluctantly had let you go.

Like the over protective mother she was, she had almost gotten in touch with the sponsor to ask for details about rooms and even to see if she could go after knowing it would be you with a bunch of men, despite you being in your 20’s.

Knowing Chenle, Beomgyu, and Haknyeon were there didn’t help calm her down, it made her weep. She knew well they were very sweet boys but when letting loose, they were insane and their supervision on you would be gone.

You and her had hope in Genie attending as well as the second stylist but when a job interview was moved up to the dates of the festival, her fear only grew.

Nevertheless she got over it when you had landed and showed her the room, making Renjun go to Chenle’s room and pretend as if you had gotten a room on your own.

Now it was the night the films had been presented all day and night. The heels Genie had set up for your outfit had been killing you and you had been nearly sleeping on Renjun’s shoulder for the majority of the ending.

“On a scale from one to ten how bad do you think Chenle will flip out whenever they give the results tomorrow?” Renjun questioned, hand in hand whilst the both of you walked towards the shared room through the cold halls of the hotel.

Awkwardly smiling, you shrug as a response. “A five, I think his plan to sweet talk producers into giving him an internship is more solid. He’s been attached from the hip to that one director.” Renjun simply smiled, nodding at the memory of his friend bothering the older man.

“I'm a little scared of what we’ll get. That one kid did a really good animation and the metaphors— damn.” He laughed again, his key card pressed against the pad.

Just as you were to reply to him, the smell of roses had made the both of you stop in your tracks. Warm yellow lights illuminated the room and your only worry was that you were set up in a cheesy romantic setting.

To your luck there weren’t any rose petals, only the smell of them on the sheets and artificial candles plaguing the room just to be safe, a note in the middle of the bed. ‘Thank you for your participation, compliments from The Arthouse Festival.’

“Well… this is nice, right?” Renjun scrunched his nose, shrugging as he read the note again while you rummaged through the basket full of gifts and sweets. “Do you think if we pretend to be married they’ll give us more stuff?”

Renjun stood next to you, giggling when he saw they had given you a couples gift card to a resort restaurant.

“We should, I want entrance to the massage parlor.” Grabbing two glasses for the wine you were gifted, he poured them in as you made your way to sit on the corner of the bed, your feet still killing you.

Handing you a glass, he giggled at an idea he just got. “Mrs. Huang… rolls nicely off the tongue doesn’t it?” Clanking your glasses together as he stood in front of you to cheer for all that’s been given to you.

The cold glass up to your lips, you threw your head back to let the liquid into your mouth, sipping it in hopes it would be tasty.

Wincing at the taste while he seemed to enjoy it, Renjun took your glass with small giggles. “Didn’t like it?”

Shaking your head whilst scrunching up your nose he giggled furthermore. “Mr. yln sounds good on you.”

Renjun sounded off the entire name in his mind, smiling at how it’d look on paper. “I’ll be your househusband. You can be a UX Designer, making apps cute and conventional while I’m the stay at home husband who does photography as a hobby while I keep dinner ready, the house clean, and I give you massages after every shift. How does that sound?”

He leaned in to leave a soft kiss against your lips, the taste of the wine sweeter on them than it did in your throat.

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this scenario. Do you really want to spend a long time with me?” You both knew it was a stupid question. In the span of almost a year, Renjun had fallen harder for you than he could have ever imagined.

He loved you enough to the point that every time he saw you, he shook from how excited he was that you decided to spend your time with him, no matter if he was your boyfriend.

Renjun felt like a little kid getting to try their favorite treat for the first time even with just one glance you threw at him— that’s how ecstatic your presence made him and it truly still baffles everyone that this entire thing went from slightly one sided with you liking him to Renjun being as in love as you are with him or perhaps more than you could ever love him.

“I said it when I asked you to be my girlfriend— I want you to be with me forever, even when you don’t want me anymore I’ll want you forever.”

They sounded sweet and they were sincere, his eyes sparkling yet trembling whilst his hands caressed your face.

No words could leave your mouth, almost as if it had been glued shut after not being able to find anything as romantic to say to him. Opting to instead wrap your arms around his torso and pulling him closer to you.

Your head resting on his lower abdomen, the warmth of his flesh radiating through the thin fabric of his shirt to your cheek.

Renjun smiled tenderly down at you, his own arms coming around your neck and softly threading his fingers through your hair. Tingles of his delicate touch made you shiver and only caused you to pull him much closer to your body.

“What’s the name of the restaurant? I need to look up the menu.” “Um… I’m not sure but the card is behind you. I think it’s one of those restaurants with like ten course meals.”

Your grunt made him chuckle. To say you were a picky eater was an understatement and if they had you eating food concoctions you didn’t understand— you wouldn’t have much fun.

“They should’ve just given us the money in that case.” Your scowl turns to a pout, burying your face in the fabric of his shirt.

His hands smoothing down your hair the more you embrace him; “I still think they should’ve given us a gift card to the massage parlor.”

Looking up at him with a forming smirk, your hands made their way from his waist to just down exactly his ass, giving it a squeeze and causing him to yelp.

Laughter emitted from both your lips as he held your hands in place. “I could do that, you don’t need a masseuse.”

His laughter died down and instead looked down at you. The way your lips pouted while feigning jealousy of anyone touching him. Not only your lips but the wide eye look you were giving him as you held him close to you, chest pressing tightly against his— no.

No, Renjun didn’t want to push it.

But it didn’t get easier as you two kept talking, unconsciously you’d pull him closer to you. Those early (or perhaps not as early) stages of wanting to be as close to each other as possible.

If you’d hug him a bit too tight, your body would grace his crotch, it’s warmth not helping him ignore the growing bulge in his pants. At this rate he feared you’d notice it but perhaps you’re opting to ignore it.

Renjun wouldn’t doubt these past nights have been difficult when it comes to his normal issues. Sure you both have laid in his bed and cuddled before but someone was always in the house so you’d both know nothing would come out of it.

Nothing compared to these days in which you’d wear shorts and a cami to sleep in due to the summer weather. Laying in the vast bed but closely next to him.

Usually you’d be the one to sleep later but Renjun had brought a book in hopes of picking up a new hobby and would stay up later.

In those hours you’d tussle around occasionally but always ended up with your head on his chest, arm around his waist, and leg across his lower body.

That’s when the problem came in. While the summer weather was horrid and would sometimes beat the hotel’s AC, the room got colder at night and instead of being uncovered as he read with you holding him— when the AC gave all of its potential, you’d get closer to him without a clue that your hard nipples from the cold would make him freeze in his spot and make him hesitant to even hold his hand near the area when he had been holding you all night.

It was no problem the first night, he didn’t even notice. The second night he did notice but his shyness and the red of his cheeks made him just pull the covers up to you fully so he could have his arm wrapped around you while reading.

Just last night though as you slept in the same position, cuddled up next to him and his arm around you holding you in place, his hand caressing the skin of your upper arm— the same thing happened except for the fact that your movement to get comfortable next to him was dragging down the cami slightly, the strap falling and your collarbones highlighted, a clear view of what he tried to avoid.

It didn’t help that your leg was on top of his lower half again, calf rubbing below where your chest is at right now, thigh on display and his hand holding onto it, grasp tightening slightly to lower begin his tender touching of running his hand up and down.

The memory alone made Renjun shudder for his thoughts towards you. Opting to sit right next to you, his hand taking yours into his while continuing to converse.

Though it became one-sided quite quickly when Renjun began to ramble about how maybe the restaurant would have a great view as you were in Jeju and was now regretting not bringing his film camera.

“No but then the x-ray machine would fry the film. Actually I don’t know, in Germany I took it with me but bought film and developed it there so— what?”

Upon noticing the glossed out dazed look in your eyes: a loving stare and your smile growing wider as he spoke— Renjun felt the strings is his heart being pulled.

He knew you were listening but he also knew you wouldn’t stop gawking at him so he only chuckled, leaning in to capture your lips in yet another tender kiss.

His right hand traveled behind your waist as his left hand held your neck, deepening the kiss when you mimicked his actions, fingers caressing the back of his neck.

Parting your lips slightly, Renjun’s tongue graced against your own. The open mouthed kisses became feverish the lower his hand traveled, as of now resting on your hip.

“You look extra pretty today by the way.” He broke the kiss knowing you both were running out of breath, his lips peppering the flesh of your cheek, lips softly traveling to your neck.

The warmth of them in contrast to his wet kisses on your flesh made you shudder, holding onto him as he began leaving small open-mouth kisses on your flesh.

“You think I’m pretty?” It came out giddy, your grip on his shoulders tightening when he lapped at a certain spot. “You’re beautiful, yn. The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

His words made you feel like you were on top of the world, becoming giddy to where you made him turn just to pull him into another passionate kiss. Such actions followed by the both of you laying on your sides, holding each other.

Legs entangled with each other’s, his hand gripping your hip before running it up and down softly. In this moment as his tongue swiped across your lower lip and his knee had accidentally brushed against your aching arousal, you tried so hard to muffle the moan that left your lips.

You could feel him smile into the kiss as he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth, coming in contact with yours. Both muscles basking on the velvet feel of each other. Your own hand cupping his cheek to deepen the kiss you two were sharing.

Renjun felt ecstatic to know he was having an effect on you, just as you had been the past few nights.

Nevertheless he deepened the kiss and began to nibble on your lower lip, his free hand moved to pull you closer by your hips, pushing you closer even by a lower region.

You groaned against him upon feeling how erect he was now, your hand going from his cheek to his neck. Your grip on his neck tightened a bit, he could feel how desperate you were becoming.

Renjun’s knee would begin to rock in between your legs making you bite his lip from time to time trying to hold off as you’d continued this feverish make out session. Renjun’s hands would twitch on the spot they laid on, obvious restrain within. Despite his needs he was still going to respect what you’d dictate.

You felt yourself need more air, slowly letting go from him “Wow…” you’d giggle, still holding onto him. He chuckled, pecking your lips and cheeks as you regained your breath.

“You okay?” He’d question, his lips slowly moving from yours and cheeks to your jaw, leaving open mouth kisses, your eyes fluttering slightly as his lips found themselves on your neck again, leaving a tingling sensation on it.

Taking his hand that rested on your hip and pushing it down the skirt of your dress, letting his hand rest on the hem of your underwear, “Mhm… you can touch me, Renjun. It’s fine…” he halted his actions, moving to look at you. “Are you completely sure? I’m fine with just making out…” you’d nod again, hooking his fingers to the hem now.

“I want you to be ready, yn. Not just because we’re horny from making out.” Chuckling despite his fingers shaking a little, the anticipation to pull down the fabric still lingering. “I’m ready, Junnie. I’m extremely comfortable with you, I want you…”

You weren’t necessarily the type to wait to have sex with someone you loved, you always thought if the offer was presented and the other person seemed like someone you would be comfortable with— then so be it but it never came and when it did you always felt uncomfortable with whoever offered.

To add on that, sex had become something you didn’t crave often nor was it that important to you anymore and often opted to listen to the stories your friend’s would tell (quite honestly a big reason it had put you off).

At some point you had become comfortable just being a virgin who still had dated no one despite having some prospects in the past who never seemed to match what you wanted despite how much they thought they did and when Renjun came into your life— that comfort had shifted.

You wanted to say you hadn’t fallen for him instantly but after those few days of interacting and immediately having everything in your mental checklist crossed out by him— you could only think about him. From how often he pouted despite not wanting to admit it, the birth mark on his right hand, and his bright smile when felt flustered about anything.

He smiled softly before leaning in for another kiss, his fingers finally pulling down the fabric of your underwear before whispering an “I love you.” You shuddered when you felt his fingers so close yet so far. His fingertips danced on the inside of your thigh as he worked to open your legs furthermore.

You held onto the nape of his neck whilst your other hand mirrored him and made its way to hover over his strained cock, they were soft touches not entirely sure if it’d be comfortable for either of you since he was already crouching enough to put his in between your legs.

As you’d copy his actions and unbuckled his slacks, struggling to unbutton them but eventually doing so, you pushed your hand down them, gracing his hardened cock firmly. Taking it out, slowly pumping it. Renjun moaned into your mouth, biting your lip softly as he tried to not make much noise.

Your hesitation became prominent from time to time in fear you weren’t doing well but whenever your thumb caressed his tip and small noises began cascading from his lips onto yours the more you continued, the hesitation lessened.

Renjun could tell you were somewhat embarrassed for being inexperienced and though he didn’t take advantage of it, he couldn’t help but enjoy the idea of him being your firsts. Even feeling the warmth between your legs exude to his fingertips was enough to let him feel pride that you were enjoying what he was doing to you.

His tender touches, taunting your clit. His fingers formed slow and soft circles on it to first notice how much of the build up you were enjoying.

“Renjun…” That’s what he wanted to hear.

Upon hearing his name leave your lips in adoration, leaning it to kiss him, his ego boosted more. His circling picking up the speed and his fingers occasionally leaving your bundle of nerves to collect your arousal on them.

It seemed his kisses helped you eased up; his index finger taunting your entrance and coating itself with much of your arousal enough to slowly penetrate you. Slightly startled, your grasp on his cock softening and his quiet shushes telling you it was alright.

You knew it was alright, this was just new to you. It felt different than the times you tried it yourself but only ended up hurting yourself. This time Renjun did his best to slowly insert his finger inside of you. It didn’t feel as uncomfortable and what was left only dissipated when he began slowly moving it.

While he continued to finger you and added a second finger which made the pleasure presentable, you returned the favor by softly tugging up and down his shaft. Your thumb collecting every bead of fluid leaving the tip and using it as lubrication to continue.

Renjun loved the soft feel of your palm around him, how smoothly it went up and down his cock, and how your grasp would slightly tighten, giving him a new found sense of pleasure.

His moans were silent but that’s because he wanted to focus on your pleasure, still thankful you wanted to make it fully mutual. Renjun wouldn’t deny that after almost a year he was glad he could finally do this with you, to make you feel good and know he could even with just the bare minimum.

“You’re doing so good, baby.” He cooed against your lips, his fingers picking up the pace and when you were to respond, only moans left your lips feeling delight when the tip of his fingers had reached a certain spot. When he watched you start hesitantly squirm around, Renjun chuckled in satisfaction.

He kissed you again, letting your moans cascade into his mouth while he curled his fingers, pumping them in you at a fast pace, the ball of his palm rubbing against your clit which made the feeling grow and your moans louder.

You were feeling something you’ve only felt once before at your own hands and hadn’t been able to get again so to now have your boyfriend bring that ecstasy with just his fingers, you couldn’t help but stop your actions on him and instead held his face again, pulling him in for a passionate kiss.

“Fuck I think I’m going to cum. Renjun, oh my god— Keep doing that, please, fuck!”

With your juices flowing down his hand, coating his other fingers and palm, Renjun did as you said for the exception he went faster even if his hand would cramp up.

Anything for your pleasure.

Squirming around not being able to handle it much, the coil in your lower stomach was slowly easing. Your legs giving up on you, separating from the kiss to bite on your lower lip.

Renjun only continued until you finally came all over his hand, your panting and whimpers making a smirk rest on his face.

He did this and he was proud of it.

Once you relaxed, you smiled at him. Your lips connect with his as a thank you for making you feel this good.

After separating from the kiss to regain your breath, his hand which remained in between your legs made its way to his lips. The digits intruding the cavern of his mouth and his tongue poked out, wrapping itself around them to savor you.

He didn’t break eye contact, watching your chest rise up and down faster again, your legs shutting to cause friction, and your swollen lips parted in anticipation for what he’d do next.

“Taste as sweet as you are.” His words despite lewd were also making you feel giddy. Feeling the heat in between your legs rush to your entire body from how flattered you were by his words. “I think I want to taste more of it.”

As he said it, Renjun lifted from his position beside you. His hands rushedly removing his jacket and unbuttoning as many buttons from his shirt just to settle between your legs.

You shifted as well, laying on your back and bringing pillows to rest your head on. Bunching up your dress up to your stomach, Renjun took it as an opportunity to part your legs furthermore, letting your calves rest on his shoulders.

The view before you was glorious. It was exactly how you imagined it sometimes. With his head between your thighs, laying soft open-mouthed kisses on your inner thigh that interchanged with the warm muscle his tongue was, raking it across the same areas he had just kissed.

The closer his lips got to your aching cunt, the more you felt your abdomen clench. His lips teasing and gracing your labia.

Throwing you one last glance, Renjun smirked against you. His tongue taking soft licks on your slit. Gradually those kitten licks transformed to his tongue laying flat before the tip of it teased your clit.

You could only grasp the fabric of your dress and closed your eyes letting him do as he pleased which thankfully worked out for you.

His low hums vibrated against you, whenever he’d lap his muscle on your nether region, your arousal accumulated on his tongue; swallowing it with pleasure and satisfaction.

Renjun truly did like your taste. He mostly liked that you were this wet from things he’s doing and his ego kept inflating more than it had this entire night.

His hand gripped your thighs, holding you in place whenever you squirmed around if he did something you were liking.

Eventually it felt like a kiss, like the ones he’d been laying on you all night. His jaw slacking to take in your cunt, tongue taking in the leaking beads, and ending up on your clit, sucking on it when the cycle ended only to repeat a few more times.

Quite honestly it felt much better than being fingered but you were thankful he was doing all this all for the sake of your pleasure.

Your legs shuddered around his head, caging him in the more he made you feel good. His lips were shimmering from the gloss you produced.

“Renjun, you’re so good at this…” you moaned out, hands reaching his hair to tug slightly. His tongue lapped at your clit with a pleasure that was bringing you just as close as before.

You felt that tingling between your legs every time his tongue pressed against your entrance as his fingers did.

Between his lips surrounding your clit, sucking on it as his fingers created dents on your skin, and his tongue ran flat up and down your folds— you couldn’t help becoming a tad sensitive.

It wasn’t until he pulled away to gain air, leaving kisses on your thighs and leaving the print made out of your fluids; he spoke. “I want to be buried between your legs,” his tongue lapped at your aching cunt, collecting every drop of arousal.

Moaning against you, he blew warm air. “I want to taste you all the time, I want to feast upon you as if it’s my last meal— I want you all the time.”

His profession was followed by more moans, the vibration on his lips made your legs weaker. They shook more insensately now as he continued his devouring, drunk on lust and pleasure.

He himself was aching, his cock hard and leaking every time he heard you moan and hold onto him for support. Especially when your thighs kept closing him in.

If he ever separated his mouth from you, his fingers would replace his assault on your clit. Rubbing soft circles on it and causing a painful anticipation.

As long as you were feeling great, he could endure the restraint of not pleasuring himself or asking to be pleasured.

You felt that same pleasure from when his fingers were in you. A tingling between your legs and your chest, your stomach cramping in the least painful way to let you know, you were about to come again.

That knot in the pits of your lower stomach was unraveling the more his tongue lapped at you, making sure to get every single taste.

And slowly as he toyed with your clit making it more sensitive than it was already becoming, your moans mixed with whimpers. “It’s okay, baby. Come, come for me.”

His sweet tender voice made you even more sensitive. He looked at you as he said those but soon his glossy lips would wrap around your clit, sucking on it to finally give you that release.

You couldn’t hold out for much longer so when his tongue went back to licking up from your entrance to your clit, you held tightly onto his hair. Letting the most disgruntled moan you could muster and letting your orgasm slip from you. Enough that Renjun’s chin was getting coated as he moaned against you.

Despite being worn out already, the lewd sounds he made between your legs along his kisses on your sensitive area kept the desire of wanting him more.

When your breathing calmed down, Renjun lifted himself up, crawling to your side and encasing you in an embrace.

“Doing okay?” he questioned, his lips finding yours. You could taste yourself on him, most of his lower face covered. Upon realizing he had just done all this for your pleasure, you felt a tad bit shy; breaking the kiss to bury your face in the crook of his neck.

“If i knew you could move your tongue like that I think I would’ve asked you to get between my thighs long before.” Renjun laughed at your words, he himself feeling shy.

With your face in the crook of his neck, you took initiative now. Your lips found his flesh, wrapping itself on it as your tongue lapped at an area before leaving soft tender kisses. Your hand had left his waist and made its way to his cock.

He was painfully hard that when he felt your touch, he winced, jutting his hips towards your hand. You smirked against his skin, feeling delighted he wanted your touch as much as you wanted his.

Your fingers wrapped around it, softly pumping it before picking up the pace. With every whimper he let out as you kissed his neck and the pleasure of your hand, you increased the speed along the tightness in which you held him.

“ynie... You’re doing so good, baby. You’re making me feel so good.” His free hand had stopped your assault on his neck, cupping your cheek to make you turn and look at him without breaking eye contact. Renjun seemed to be the type to hold every type of intimacy during sex. He liked to reassure you with his sultry voice, something new you’ve found him to do.

His praise eased the fears that you wouldn’t be able to pleasure him due to your inexperience but he was enjoying it and he let it be known not only by his words but his desperate kisses and hips thrusting into your hand.

Oh he needed his own release.

You felt him slowly leak onto your hand, his moans becoming louder and breathy against your lips. “I want you in me. Right now, Injunnie…”

He bit his lower lip, your touches on him creating a sensibility he couldn’t handle. “Fuck, I ca— no wait.” His hesitation confused you. Watching him shift, hovering above you a bit. “What? Do you want to stop?” You questioned, your hands rubbing on his thighs to calm down whatever he was feeling.

“No, not really but I don’t have any condoms.” He nervously laughed, his hands taking yours and soothing your skin with his thumb. His eyebrows knitted to show he was sorry but it only caused you to smile, relieved it wasn’t because he felt uncomfortable.

“I figured,” You allowed a breathy laugh to slip out, pecking the corner of his lips. “So I took some from Chenle’s bag…” Scrunching your nose feeling quite embarrassed, you stood from where you were. Taking the opportunity, you removed the straps of your dress from your shoulders, letting the dress collect on the floor.

Renjun bit his lower lip, a smirk forming at the site of your nude figure. He himself took the opportunity, removing any remaining clothing and thanking you when you handed him the foil packet. “When?” Ripping it open, he rolled it down his shaft.

You replaced his hand, fist twisting around him just to hear his breathy moans again. Leaning towards his ear, chest to chest. “This morning actually, when he was getting ready. Yesterday when we went to that bar and you pulled me onto your lap because that guy kept bringing me drinks despite all of you telling him to fuck off— it was really hot that you kept running your hand up and down my thigh and how possessive and protective you were.”

Renjun gave you a slanted smile to comfort you. He was glad you thought so but he was actually quite angry and scared last night. It was truly so fucking frustrating and frightening seeing how pushy men can be even when the guy was aware you were being protected not only by him but by three other guys so Renjun really wanted to keep you on him. Literally.

Pecking his cheek, you pulled him down with you. Your back against the mattress getting comfortable as he was. “Alright, make me yours even more.” Your sweet smile was making him spiral. Leaning down to encase your lips in yet another kiss from many this night, his hand took his hardened cock, pumping himself before his hips moved forward, the tip teasing your entrance.

“Let me know if you feel uncomfortable, okay?” He looked into your eyes wanting to be completely sure you were enjoying this just as much.

Nodding as a response and wrapping your arms around his neck, he took it as a response. Sinking himself slowly in you, he would hesitate when your whimpers sounded in pain. His shushes and tender kisses helping you relax as he lets you move at your own pace.

Despite how aroused you were and how wet he had made you, a pinching feeling wouldn’t stop whenever he tried to go deeper. It’s not like it lasted, it’d disappear from time to time when he allowed you to get adjusted but your reactions didn’t stop him from worrying about hurting you.

“Shh, it’s alright. I’ll go slower, don’t worry baby.” He had already reached your hilt, fully deep in you. It’s not like you were in pain right now but you still tried to catch that sense of comfort that for a few seconds wouldn’t come until you began to relax your muscles again.

He had been kissing you during this time, trying his best to calm you down in any way. So when you felt like you were finally ready to have him move, you broke the kiss panting softly before speaking. “It’s fine now, I can handle it.”

Renjun took in your words, searching your features for any discomfort and as he felt you swiveling your hips slowly, he himself nodded this time. His forearms caged your head in as he began to softly move in you. That sting from earlier easing into the pleasure of feeling full.

He instantly began to spill his moans, the pain of holding himself off for most of the night catching up to him. You clenched your walls around him, adding more pressure to how sensitive he already was.

“Fuck! If you keep doing that I’m going to come already.” He let out in a breath, neslting his face in your chest to plant kisses on your breast hoping they’d muffle his cries.

To taunt him, you did. Clenching around him again which ended up on his thrusts becoming rougher. Burrowing himself deeper and his thighs beginning to snap against the back of yours, your moans became louder.

Fingers clawing at his back whilst holding tightly around him, you felt that sense of pleasure the faster he went. His pelvic bone began rubbing against your clit, making it more sensitive than he had left it from his touches on it.

You felt warm around him, soft too. He liked being buried deep in you, it felt extremely good. Maybe it’s because he loves you more than any of his past flings and lovers but he thought this was the best he’s ever had.

Your scent intoxicated him no matter how active you’ve both been in this past hour. Your moans were entirely melodic against his ears, your kisses and touches a fine gift he’s been presented, and your taste was a delicacy that couldn’t get enough of anymore.

He was truly smitten by you and the fact that you trusted and loved him enough to allow him to be your firsts in everything made him feel glorious. Your first kiss, your first boyfriend, your first time…

With how much he adored you and the fact that he was too sensitive to last much longer, Renjun picked up the pace furthermore. Whenever his hips pulled back you could feel your arousal slide down your ass and onto the sheets.

When he plunged back in with a great force that had been proven delicious to you— his tip would grace a spot in you that made you tingle, your entire body hit with ecstasy just like the kind when he had eaten you out.

You yourself couldn’t hold much longer. With him fingering you, eating you out till he was covered in your essence, and his deep thrusts that lowered his hips to stimulate your clit— you were becoming overstimulated and you felt that with just a few more thrusts, you came undone around him.

The image alone of how he’d react was making your chest heave, calming down with his kisses on your nipples before swirling his tongue around the nub.

“Renjun…” You moaned out. Your legs were giving up on you that when they dropped, he took one of them and hooked it around his waist. The position making it easier for him to rub against your clit even more and his cock to go deeper, that moan from earlier getting louder.

“I can’t hold up much, baby, please…” You whined, you're rubbing on your clit as of now. Fuck, even now you were still wet. Wet enough to gather what he’d push out and begin to use your middle and ring finger to form circles around the abused muscle.

Watching you squirm around like earlier with your lip in between your teeth, and your eyes closed as you helped pleasure yourself, was awakening something in him. His thrusts getting slower but rougher (enough to still not hurt you but making you feel on cloud nine).

Lifting himself a little more to see the full image, Renjun felt his cock twitch. He could feel come spurt from his tip slowly at the image before him. “I need you to come right now, pretty girl. Do it for me, please.” His words only caused the fire in your chest to rise.

Your body was burning and you were so near that you tried closing your legs, clamping him in but his force to keep them open only arousing you furthermore. His thrusts were becoming sloppy the more he tried to restrain himself from moaning out loud.

Turning his head downward and watching his cheeks sink in before sticking his tongue out to let his spit fall where you two were connected, Renjun picked up the pace. The image had made you moan in distress, aroused by how even more hot he looked in that second.

What came out from your lips sounded like cries. Sensitive from all the pleasure he was causing upon you and making it painful to even keep your legs open, you pulled him down to you, lips connecting with his for yet another kiss.

Renjun knew this was your plea to make you feel good, to finally let you have that release that you needed so badly or you were going to cry from how good it all felt. He wouldn’t deny he’d love to see how much more pretty you’d look with mascara smudged tears running down your face because of the pleasure he made you endure but right now he was going to do anything to make you reach euphoria.

Your kisses were sloppy, gnawing at his lower lip and tongue caressing his. With every thrust he gave his tip connected with your sensitive spot. His hand had gone between your body and began rubbing at your clit again, it was only a matter of seconds until you came.

“You feel so good, Junnie…” You praised him in between whimpers, screwing your eyes shut when his fingers picked up the pace. Your legs continued to shake and your whimpers became strangled moans of his name. You had finally let go, the restraint on the knot in your stomach was gone and the image of your body falling limp against the bed where you fully shook in pleasure was enough to make him come as well.

You felt too good, too good that you continued to chase that feeling of being done. Your panting was shaky and Renjun did his best to help you relax, even smoothing his hand over your hair. He could see some tears slipping, it ignited something in him but right now he was too exhausted that instead, he slowly pulled out of you to not hurt you furthermore.

When you had finally calmed down and your body shook only slightly; you winced trying to move. Renjun had sprinted to the restroom to throw away the condom and clean himself off before damping a hand towel with warm water and rushing towards the bed to help you sit up.

“You alright, pretty girl?” His voice was soft, using the cloth to gently clean up the mess between your legs. You nodded seeing how tender he was, a smile on your face when he rushed to the mini fridge, pulling out a water bottle and handing it to you when he noticed you were parched.

“Yeah, I think I know why Ceena kept chasing you for so long. I can’t believe you’ve done that with other girls, I can’t breathe now.” You feigned being hurt, enough to clutch the flesh of your chest to which he embarrassedly laughed before removing your hand and soothing the area you had accidentally scratched.

“No but seriously, thank you.” You answered this time, taking his hand into yours and tugging at it to let him know you wanted to lay down. “You don’t have to thank me, I’m your boyfriend.” He chuckled, pulling you to his chest and enveloping you in a tight embrace.

“I think I’m the one supposed to thank you for giving me the honor of being your boyfriend. For letting me experience these things with you, I really love you, yn.”

His words were making you feel like putty in his arms, a warmth in your heart swarming and making a pout form on your lips. You couldn’t say this enough but you truly were grateful you found someone who loved you like you always wanted to be loved.

“You’re everything I’ve ever asked for you know. I feared relationships because I didn’t want my expectations to be shattered by an asshole who didn’t match whatever I made myself think love is. So when you came in I was genuinely scared for what I was feeling because I had never let myself feel that way towards anyone and you really pushed it,” You laughed, looking up at him. “Even if you weren’t trying.”

His lips found your forehead, a tender kiss yet again. “So I’m really thankful you match my expectations to the tee and that at least I am what you want in a partner. Despite how insane I’ve made you to be.” Renjun laughed recalling how much out of his shell you were making him grow as he was you.

“I love you too, Renjun. So fucking much.”

Renjun sighed softly, his hands caressing your skin. “If I’m honest I was scared when you came into my life too. I spent the longest time telling myself you were being friendly and trying to push you onto any other guy you were close with because I was scared of being hurt again but eventually I learned that— you could never do anything to wrong me.”

It was hard for him to say. His last sentence came out in another sigh. “So again, I’m glad we came to our senses because I don’t think I can live without you.” His eyes were twinkling, his swollen lips planting another kiss to your forehead. “I want you in my life forever too.”

taglist: @eggoyu @haknyeonsju @daegalfangirl @haechansgfreal @butterfliesinthenightsky @lyleo @haechansittinginatree @dojun00 @fylithia @kosmiks @renjunniex @carayat @meltinghershey

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hopefullystillatheatrestudent · 3 years

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Ahhhh I have so many questions in regards to cockles. Right now tho I live in constant fear that they have kinda drifted from each other and I will never see Jensen’s unicorn laugh ever again. The amount of serotonin that they provide me is ridiculous and I don’t think I’ll survive if I never get to see them interact in person ever again.

NO. NO negativity. strap in, let me ease your worries because this is a common fear it seems and it has little to no merit.

reason 1: if you’re like me, we’ve only been around for a fraction of a fraction of the amount of time they’ve been together as a couple. but, from what i’ve gathered from people who have been around for way longer, they have their ‘off-seasons’, which really means we get no content, but it proves nothing in terms of how steady they are as a couple. i know jensen’s comment on misha’s post threw people off, but you’ve GOTTA have more faith than that. mainly because their interaction on social media means nothing in terms of if they’re in a relationship or not(also if i’m not mistaken jensen also has a social media manager. so, take that into consideration on top of everything.). if misha “knows exactly where danneel is at all times”, it’s safe to assume the same applies for him knowing where jensen is. i would bet money that jensen’s comment was not the first misha is hearing about jensen getting the vaccine. (i actuallyyyy have my own theory and it’s that that comment is basically so that they won’t be condemned for breaking covid guidelines when they do start posting pictures together :))) ..i would wager new cockles content is coming sooner than anticipated, anon)

reason 2: it’s so unrealistic for them to have....been together for eleven years and just. drift apart. that’s not even a little bit rational for them to have broken up just because the show is over. a) they knew the end of the show was coming eventually, i guarantee they planned ahead for when it did, the pandemic is probably throwing a wrench in their plans like it is for all of us. and b) to get sappy for a second, you don’t just...throw away the love of your life. we are not getting, and have never gotten the full picture of what they have(and if it eases your soul, i can kind of hint that **** ***** ******** *** *****, but that’s as far as i’ll go, and you don’t really....leave that behind.)

reason 3: people seem to have forgotten THEY DID BREAK UP ONCE. AND IT WAS SO, SO OBVIOUS WHEN THEY WERE. there are none of those vibes, currently. when they were broken up, misha couldn’t even talk about dean winchester without getting bitter and angsty, and, well....his cameos show that he is the exact opposite rn. so. (and before you say ‘oh but they could have stayed friends’, they did for their break up, too. and...yeah.) also, there would be many, many signs leading to them being broken up if this were the case. there are no substantial ones, in my opinion, because social media doesn’t count. actually, signs point to the exact opposite; lest i remind you of the fairfight zoom call with bonus cockles confirmation in the blooper reel, their twitter flirting that same day, misha’s fucking insane birthday post as well as his response to jensen’s batman tweet, OH AND the ‘coincidence’ that every time misha finds himself in hot water, jensen suddenly remembers how to use twitter. AND MISH. DEE. GOD GUYS MISH. DEE. ???? come on

reason 4: let’s not forget we have reason to believe they have been seeing each other since the show ended. i’m not gonna get into it now, but basically, as we’ve learned from past patterns, misha’s whereabouts being ? + jensen’s whereabouts being ? = cockles. it’s a foolproof equation, really.

SO. this got long, but basically, i promise they’re fine. i hope this very long list can ease your worries and we can get back to talking about how they’re in love and the only good thing in this world.

#liz answers #cockles ask #cockles #GUYS THEY ARE OK PLEASE

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trexy225 · 2 years

Text

TPYH-Chapter 11: My Cat Tried to Eat My Laptop Again

Summary: I just have these lil teeth marks all around it I have no idea what drugs he's on rn... Anyway you get into some silly quirky situations here enjoy!

If you were being blunt, your life sucked. You could walk around well enough, but the more complicated tasks were incredibly difficult, you developed a habit of nervously tapping your foot and your fingers at all times, and you were getting these splitting headaches from your brain struggling to take all this information in, and you couldn’t stand to wear shoes, you couldn’t see unless you were barefoot, and you were always on edge, it was exhausting. You used the white cane, but it wasn’t as effective. At least Harry got you some new blindfolds, you had no idea where he got them, but he said they looked good on you, you were too tired to argue. You ended up going to sleep early after figuring out how you were going to give away your animals, it was the worst thing ever, but you couldn’t rely on the zoo intern forever, you had to keep Olivia, Monty, and your favorite cat, Skippy. You knew you weren’t supposed to pick favorites, but he was your favorite. You wished you could cry, but you couldn’t, so you just drifted off to sleep.

“I need that tritium Osborn.” You heard a voice demand, you woke up and stayed laying down, relying on your heightened sense of hearing to figure out what was happening.

“I won’t do it for free Otto.” You heard your brother say.

You froze, that was Otto? He-he sounded so mean, you’re going insane, the blindness was the last straw this was just a hallucination.

“Well then what do you want?” he snapped.

“Bring me Spiderman.” your brother demanded. “And how am I supposed to do that?” Otto growled.

“Talk to Peter Parker, he’s friends with Spiderman, that’s your best chance.”

“Fine, I’ll bring you Spiderman, you get me the tritium.” You heard Otto leave, you had to stop this.

The next morning Harry helped you pick out your outfit and blindfold, as mad as you were about him throwing Peter under the bus, you were grateful that he was such a good brother.

“Am I going to have to end up like this forever?” You ask.

“I hope not, I’m trying to get you a guide dog, I managed to push us up the waitlist with our money but… it will still be a while, hopefully, you can wear shoes without freaking out. And we’ll just need to practice with everything else.” Harry sighed as he put on your blindfold.

“I’m grateful you have a sense of style, I don’t.”

Harry laughed.

“We can start practicing after I get back, ok?”

“Where are you going?” Harry asked.

“Peter and I are going on a walk, I called him.”

“How did you call him?” “I mean I only have what, five people I talk to? I have his number memorized, so I just used muscle memory I guess.”

“Are you going to wear shoes?” “...I have to. I’ll wear my slip-on.” you saw Harry frown.

“You said I needed to get out? Is there something I need to know?”

“No, no there’s nothing. Just be safe, ok?” He handed you your white cane and you smiled as you tapped around, you weren’t completely blind with your shoes on, but it was muffled, you felt disoriented, and the cane would help focus it for a brief moment. Luckily the other senses were heightened, but you still felt exposed, and on edge. You jumped when Peter knocked on the door, you opened it and smiled.

“Peter! Thank you so much for-” “Your arms all healed?” Peter asked, astonished.

“Oh, umm yes it is, can we talk during our walk? I need some fresh air.” “Oh yeah, do you need help or?” “Would it be ok if we held hands? I just-I don’t trust myself yet.”

“Of course! I mean… yes.” You felt him grab your hand and you smiled.

“Thanks. You can lead the way.” he was surprisingly strong.

The two of you talked as you went into the elevator, you liked Peter, he was awkward but sweet, and once he got comfortable he got pretty funny, once the two of you left the building you knew you had to warn Peter.

“So what happened to your arm? Why is it already healed?” he asked before you opened your mouth.

“Oh, umm I’m not sure, I had this splitting headache after I got out of the hospital, and then the next morning my arm was healed, I had heightened senses, and I can see through vibrations. The shoes mess it up though, it muddles everything and makes me dizzy,” you explained.

“Do you need to sit down?” Peter asked.

“No, keep on talking.”

“Well, that all sounds very, very weird… I don’t think I’ve heard anything like that before…”

“Peter I need to tell you something-” “Anything.”

“Otto… Doc Ock, he’s out to get you, he thinks you’re friends with Spiderman and-” you pause, your brain felt weird, you turned around, something was wrong, and it was behind you.

“What?” “Get down.” “y/n…” “GET DOWN NOW!” you yelled.

As soon as the two of you got down something big flew over you, you heard clanking.

“How did you sense it that early I-” you heard Peter whisper. You were too distracted to ask him what he meant.

“Peter Parker!” Doc Ock’s voice boomed. “I’m looking for your eight-legged friend, do you know where I might find him?” he asked.

“I think Spiderman is out of commission at this point…”

“Really? Well, I’ll just take your little friend here.” You felt one of those stupid actuators grab you by the waist, it fucking hurt, you cried out as you whacked it with your white cane, you heard Peter cry out.

“Get me Spiderman or this one gets it!” Doc Ock yelled as he ran off. You huffed.

“Hello Otto!” you yelled.

He turned his head towards you and his mouth dropped.

“y/n??!” He yelled.

“Yes, it’s me!” At that moment your blindfold flew off and you sighed, you imagined his face twisting in disgust, you didn’t know what your eyes looked like now, but you knew it was bad.

“What the hell happened?” He muttered.

“Your fusion reactor left me blind, so thanks for that.” You snapped, you were pissed at him, he was using your brother, he was using Peter, and he was using you, for what?

“I’ll-I’ll make it up to you after I finish building the reactor-” “You’re rebuilding it?!” You asked.

“Of course I am! The weather was off, that was all.” “Or maybe you didn’t listen to Peter and you were too proud to admit that you needed more time?” You objected.

Otto yelled out in frustration and you huffed.

“Where are you taking me?” “I don’t know yet, I was honestly going to wait for Spiderman to show up,” he admitted.

“...How’s Alfred?” You asked.

“He’s doing fine, Moe likes to play with him.” “Who the hell is Moe?” You asked.

“She can’t see you waving you idiot!” you heard Otto scold, you couldn’t help but smile.

“So what are you going to do after the fusion reactor?”

“Find another project to complete.”

“...Not prison?” You asked.

“Why would I go to prison?” “Wow… Let me guess, you stole money, kidnapped a blind woman who YOU blinded and an elderly woman, property damage, manslaughter-” “Wait, manslaughter? Also, I did not blind you, the shrapnel did.” “That came from your reactor! And you didn’t shut it off when it was obvious to even myself that it was about to go off the rails. And your assistant died. I was behind them, so I got the remainder of the damage.”

“Dear god…” he muttered.

“Otto, you need to stop, please!” You begged.

“I will… after I finish the reactor.”

You groaned and whacked him again with the white cane.

“Will you stop that?” He complained.

“Will you let me go?” You asked.

One of the actuators grabbed it out of your hands, you heard it snap in half, this wasn’t going well, but worst of all, this wasn’t Otto, this wasn’t the man you loved, the man you fell in love with would have listened to you already, not brush you off. You winced a bit at the actuator's grip, this was going to leave a bruise. You sighed as the wind whipped through your hair, you would’ve probably been enjoying this in different circumstances. You were tapping on the actuator, trying to see him and what the hell was going on, it was impossible to get a clear view however, everything was going so fast and you weren't on the ground, this sucked. You tapped harder.

"Will you stop that?" he snapped.

“...No."

Otto shook you in frustration, you cried out.

"You know, I really don’t like you right now.” You hissed.

“You know what y/n-” Otto started before a blur of red and blue punched him in the face, you screamed as you were flung forward, the actuators still hung on tight, which caused you to cry out in pain, if you survived this you would be back in the wheelchair for a while. You were caught between a whirlwind of metal and red and blue, well at least that’s what you assumed he was wearing since he was Spiderman.

“Spiderman, there you are! I was just catching up with my friend here. How nice of you to join us.” He cackled as he continued fighting, you passed out.

You woke up on a park bench, MJ was sitting next to you, pepper spray in hand, she was looking around nervously.

“W-what the hell happened?” You muttered.

“Oh thank god you’re ok, I’m sorry I don’t have any ice packs… But I found your blindfold?” you reached out and patted her, you found the blindfold and put it on. “Is it really that bad? Don’t lie to me.”

“...Yes.” MJ admitted.

“Thanks, so what happened? I remember… taking a walk with Peter, and then being kidnapped by Otto?”

“That’s not Otto anymore… Peter called me right as you got kidnapped, told me to get to Central Park and wait for Spiderman, I mean I did that and about 30 minutes later Spiderman dropped you off and went back to fight Doc Ock… I don’t know where either of them is now, I don’t know how Peter knew where Spiderman would put you.” She admitted.

Because he’s Spiderman… You thought you kept that to yourself though, Peter and Spiderman might just be very… very close, and you didn’t want to freak MJ out, even though you knew she was smart enough to also be piecing this together with you. You tried to take a deep breath but groaned, you pulled up your shirt and MJ gasped.

“Describe it.”

“Bad.”

“Fun.” You stayed laying down, trying not to move or breathe, it took about two hours before MJ got a call from Peter.

“Peter, where the hell are you? I-ok ok we’re coming over.” she hung up and sighed.

“We have to move?” you asked.

“Yes… Here, I’ll try to support you the best I can, we can get a taxi.” she hoisted you up and you almost fainted, every step was so flipping painful, but you two managed to make it to Peters apartment. You collapsed on the couch and passed out. “You’re sure you can take care of her?”

“Yes MJ, I have your number if I need anything,” Peter told her. MJ would have probably been better, but her roommate had a no overnight visitor policy, and she couldn’t afford to move apartments, so you stayed with Peter.

You think you slept for a week… You had flashes of Peter's voice, and you thought you heard some web thwipping, but you were out of it.

You just hoped it would be over soon.

#doc ock #fanfiction #fanfic #doctor octopus #doctor otto octavius #otto octavius #otto octavius x reader #docock #doc ock x self insert #doc ock x y/n #doc cock #spiderman #raimi spider man #mary jane watson #harry osborn #peter parker #bisexualdisaster #bisexual

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shyrose57 · 3 years

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Brothers anon, it makes me really happy and comforts me that you enjoy reading what I submit. It makes me really happy to write all of this and finally be able to tell someone my ideas. Thank you so much.

At first he kept trying to deny the father figure role, but when one night Jackie had a nightmare and came to him and ended up calling him dad, he stopped denying it and accepted it. And once he accepted it he did basically adopt all of them. Jackie and Grievous are literally chaos incarnate most days. They regularly love to prank the contestants and just act insane. Ran and Jackie just kind of hang around eachother, like Ran could be reading and Jackie training and they'd enjoy eachothers company. They do sometimes nap next to eachother, or play card games (which is a rare instance where Ran gets (playfully) rilled up and competitive). Grievous and Ran bonding sadly gets interrupted when Ranbob suddenly drops in, but before that Grievous would try to talk to Ran about what book he's reading and just try to make conversation with him.

Oh the height difference definitely remains. And its both terrifying and hailours to new people. It's even better when it's a 2v2 fight because Jackie has a habit of just climbing Ran like a monkey gym and sitting on his shoulders and its terrifying.

Well, since the drinking age is 3, I personally think the age limit is like 14 or something close. I believe I made their ages as Ran is 19 (almost 20. Maybe 4 months away), Jackie is 16, Watson is 30 something, Grievous is 22, and Ranbob is 28 (Ran is younger than his brother by 9 years) I have written down all their ages somewhere (and the ages where the events of Mizu took place) and if I got any wrong I will submit another ask with their ages. The other gladiators have managed to keep good relationships with most of eachother. A few like Grievous and Genevieve are close, Edward, Levi, and Watson are drinking buddies. Lagguis sadly isn't as involved cause he is sick and can't vist often at all. (I think I got everyone. Tell me if I missed anyone please, I cant check cause whenever I exit tumblr, tumblr deletes everything in my ask :') )

I dont have many rules for the Pit rn but I do have, no injuries that could cause long term or chronic damage, no sabotaging opponents, no teaming unless its a team round, no blackmail or anything of the sort to force an opponent to forfeit, and in order for a battle to end due to forfeit both sides must agree to it. But the Pit in general is a lot of things, there's fights for money, fame, and positions (like general). There's tournaments meant for nothing other than to show skill and just to fight your heart out. It's open to anyone above 14 and anyone under 80, to people from Subbin to those just passing through.

And there are different battles in the Pit, theres singles, the ones we saw in the Tales of the SMP episode. Teams, where teams of 2 battles against eachother. Free-for-all, where literally everyone fights against eachother. And Ion battles, battles where there are super powered weapons (like flame 2 iron sword. Or strength 3 potions) that spawn in the area at random. Typically Ran and Watson work best toghere, as their strategists and plan everything with back up plans, and they always call out warnings and watch eachothers back so its incredibly hard to actually hit them. And Jackie and Grievous work best toghere, with the two going insane and often taking people by surprise with their unmeasure and randomized movements and attacks.

At the start Ranbob was completely under Dreams thrall, not being able to really think for himself and even foregoing self care. When Ranbob starts to become himself again the fishermen are more than confused and hesitant, with Cletus especially stating multiple times that it may just be a trick. So it takes a while but Isaac actually is the one to suggest maybe it isn't a trick, and has to do with the mask that was found. This is later confirmed when the mask is brought to the group and Ranbob has a massive negative reaction that sets him back to how he was when they first met him.

Im honestly not sure yet, I think I want it to be a 'lets never go back' type thing but im not positive yet.

I dont have a solid backstory for the fishermen, but I know I want a little bit of it to tie to the story. Do you have any ideas for their backstory or nah? I do know I want them to have met eachother while they where in unfortunate situations and because of those they got family level close.

Ranbob doesn't take the little space well at first; staying outside when able too, even though that really upset Benjamin; and Ranbob has no idea how the outside works and has no idea how to read the weather or what he can and cant eat, but hey the enderman boi is trying his best to make up for everything he's done. And trying to build his own house to not impose on the fishermen (much like Ranboo did with Techno), but Benjamin wouldn't accept that and kept dragging him inside. It wasn't that hard for Benjamin, Isaac, and Charles to get used to Ranbob, already being used to sharing a small house, it was more Cletus with him refusing to leave Ranbob alone even for a second because he doesn't trust Ranbob at all.

The two groups actually get along surprisingly well! They like eachother and Watson once said, "It was like a family reunion. Or like long lost siblings finally found their way home."

I am once again not sure! Originally I planned for them to stay in Subbin and in the Pit. But the more I think about it the more boring that is and more I like the idea of the groups traveling toghere in the world.

I like this question! So enderman travel in groups called hauntings right? I personally headcanon the enderman in this group are basically family, biological or not. And ever since Ran and Ranbob lost their family they lost their haunting, which can be mentally damaging to a enderman. Once Ran found Waston, Jackie, and Grievous and started hanging around them more, he started feeling a connection ot them he hasn't felt on a long time. He's claimed them, as his haunting, his family. And he'll defend them with his life against anyone and anything. And then suddenly Ranbob came in, a enderman that should be part of his haunting but isn't, a enderman that killed his previous haunting. So Ran is incredibly defensive over his group, and is trying his best to keep Ranbob as far from his haunting as possible, to protect them.

Now Ranbob also got a haunting, his being Charles, Isaac, Benjamin, and even Cletus. So Ranbob is also defensive over his family. But unlike Ran, Ranbob still considers his brother as part of his haunting, his family (and yes, Ranbob did think Ran was dead when he first chased him out years ago, so he's shocked and relieved that his baby brother is still alive). And he sees how his family gets along so well with Rans family and then starts to even consider Rans haunting part of Ranbob's. Basically Ranbob has a big heart and is willing to accept almost anyone into his family, no matter what they've done.

Yep, the reason Porkius is so interested in Ran is because he's an enderman hybrid. And no one else is a hybrid expect for the two brothers (and Porkius, with him being a piglin hybrid).

Porkius is excited! He's excited to see what happens and is more than happy to agree to help as long as he is kept in the loop. Though unless he's directly asked to be involved he prefers watching from a distance at whats happening. Just so he doesn't get mauled by a pissed off enderman.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes (its late) and its so long! Im probably going to try to shorten them.

I’m glad you’re happy, it’s a nice thing to feel. Your ideas are really cool, and I hope I’ll get to see more of them in the future.

Now, can I simply say how adorable so much of this is? Jackie going to Watson when he had a nightmare, the Rans being protective of their groups, Jackie climbing Ran? I love that, it’s very heartwarming and cute, and it made me smile.

So Watson wasn’t really sure what to do with his new title at first, hm? And then Jackie called him dad? How’d he feel about that? How’d Jackie feel about the slip? Or did he even notice? He’s parenting them all, he’s gonna have a dad voice and everything. How do the adopted ones feel about him embracing it?

Jackie and Grievous, two people to truly fear when they wish to cause havoc. Tremble before them. Do they prank people, or do they just become absolute madmen on the battlefield? Or something else. Honestly, anything with these two just instantly makes me amused.

Jackie and Ran being chill buddies. very nice. Ran getting competitive over card games is a funny thought. Does he win often? Does Jackie? What kind of card games do they play?

Rather sad Ran and Grievous bonding is interrupted, but it’s nice to hear Grievous trying it. Hopefully they’ll get there someday.

Oh my god, it’s the height difference. Jackie getting on Ran’s shoulder sounds absolutely terrifying. Imagine being some poor new guy pitted against these gremlins and the short ones climbs on the tall ones shoulder-both look absolutely gleeful with the destruction they’re about to wreak, and you already know you cannot outrun them.

Jackie...Jackie...he’s da youngest. He’s small, and young, and you have no idea how much I’m laughing at this. I don’t even know why, it’s just really, really funny to me. Probably something to do with what a complete force of chaos we all know this boy is. Oddly fitting, but hilarious. How does Jackie feel about this?

How do the others? Are they a bit more protective over him? Does Ran like to flaunt his three years more over him?

Grievous and Genevieve are buddies! Very nice, they seem to have a good dynamic. Watson, Edward, and Levi also being close? Very interesting, has a lot of potential. I bet they share a lot of funny stories.

So we’ve established the basics of The Pit. Doesn’t seem too bad, for a fighting arena, to be honest. Seems pretty popular, actually. Do the gladiators live there? In the palace? Or do they just have a house somewhere nearby? What kind of establishments and areas are around? Food places, stores?

So Ran and Watson are the scariest team because of their strategy, and Jackie and Grievous are the scariest team because of their randomness? It checks out. I’m curious though, how do the other combinations work out?

Ranbob sounds like he has a less than fun time here, and the poor guy could really use some closure. What’s he like, free from the influence of the mask? He seems pretty close to Benjamin, so at least he’s got that going for him. Though he and Cletus don’t seem to have the strongest bond at first. How is that resolved?

And how does Ran feel about his brother’s new haunting, after everything? I imagine that he’s at least a little bit unhappy with it, for one reason or another-and there’s quite a few reasons for him to pick from.

How did that house-building attempt go, between Ran never being above water, and probably never building a house before? I can’t imagine too well.

Some ideas for backstory, well, hm. Isaac seemed dressed a bit fancier than the others, perhaps he comes from a richer family than the others? That’s about all I’ve got for now, sorry.

It’s nice to hear they got along, who clicks the easiest?

Possible road trip? Always fun.

So, the enderman hybrids have adopted their respective groups as their hauntings. You’ve mentioned Ranbob’s pretty cool with this, how does Ran feel? Obviously, he’s less than pleased with Ranbob, but what about the fishermen? Protective Ran and Ranbob! How protective exactly? Is it subtle, or overbearing at times? Actually, how do their instincts lead to them interacting with their groups overall?

Porkius must not see Ender hybrids too often, if he’s so interested in them. It’s nice that he’s willing to help out though, and his concern is valid. I wouldn’t want an angry enderman hybrid after me either.

Are hybrids not overly common, then, if there’s only Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius around currently, or are they just not mentioned a lot?

Thanks for the ask, a lot of it made me smile. I enjoyed reading it, and I hope you’ll be willing to send more when you have the time.

#dream smp #Brothers AU #dream smp au #tales from the smp #ranbob #ran #jackie #watson #isaac #charles #benjamin #cletus #grievous #porkius

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rk1kheadcanons · 3 years

Note

I have a prompt idea if you’re down, no rush at all! I just love the idea of rk1k meeting in college & it just being the first time either of them experience this real and deep love for someone. Like Connor is more on the reserved side & maybe was a lil sheltered, & while Markus is more outgoing he still approaches their relationship very carefully at the start. Both of their feelings for one another develop so strong so quickly, & maybe it scares them a bit and they don’t want to admit it to the other at first just how deeply they’ve fallen for each other because their relationship is still rather new, but it just ends up evolving into this really powerful/beautiful relationship. Can u tell I’m feeling soft rn lol

It's okay Anon, we'll be soft together.

When Connor first enters college, he's still awkward and feels like this is highschool 2.0 all over again. He has no high hopes of it being better than the good times (sharing anecdotes and movie quips with Kara and Chloe in Drama class) or worst than the bad times he experienced (bullying he experienced at the hands of Gavin Reed c/o the varsity football team and fighting with his own closeted feelings).

Connor expected his experiences to just...be.

Connor didn't come here for a good time; he didn't come here for any sort of time. All he intends to do is finish his criminology degree within these four years and dip.

Within a couple of months, he's more sure of himself. He's met some good friends like Simon and Daniel, and Simon's main squeeze, Josh. Daniel and he are best bitches 4 life at the start. He then meets North in English composition and the same happens all over again. The boss WLW and MLM solidarity were real.

He grows into himself with his friends. Now recognizes that he's a hot, gay bitch that has little time for messy people and likes to keep it that way.

He wears a camouflage of the 'shy, sweet type' so he can move around and be unseen easily even as he is constantly on the swivel, partly why he decided to become a detective: he was perfect for it.

His dad thought so too. Had said he would be so dangerous in their respective field because of how he was. He knew Connor was fucking manipulative and maniacal with the cutesy face and dangerous martial arts he'd learned-he'd raised him ofc. That adorable face was a damned front and Hank would guffaw when people fell for it.

Gavin Reed was the first to get his comeuppance senior year of high school and learn this. Connor had played the scared, shy guy- he'd then proceeded to beat the sounds and colors right out of Gavin's raggedy ass.

Now Connor had a damned fan. That bitch followed him to college he was so sprung n that ass whooping. Maybe he gave him brain damage?

Connor ignored him like he did everyone else on campus he wasn't trying to see. He remained reserved and clean-cut. Very few had seen the real him.

Connor had also vowed to not look for a relationship with anyone either in college. Bootycalls? Okay. Something to scratch that itch so he could remain focus on his studies, alright, but not a whole romantic situation.

Connor was just trying to get rid of Gavin for the umpteenth time since this year had started and of fucking course the rest of the football team was there. Gavin didn't know the meaning of "no" and "personal space" and was going to press the issue.

Here steps forward this God of a man. He checks Gavin and Connor's heart in a couple of words.

Gavin's threatened; Connor's titillated.

Markus Manfred enters stage left.

Stupid Markus Manfred and his stupid face, and his stupid heterochromia and stupid kissable mouth. Literally, fuck this dude.

No, literally, fuck him against some fucking lockers in the locker room after Markus winning game right now, get in him, because, because...

God, the way Markus chased his mouth with his own. The way he'd been stripped and lifted as he weighed next to nothing, the quick yet superb preparation on the fly and then the feeling of him quickly and effectively just getting inside... Connor's one leg shook with the stimulus, his other loosely hung around Markus waist for dear life.

Rip to his pants.

He can feel how he's being physically jostled by the other's larger hands, one on his side, the other under his thigh and it's just-

Connor's face is hot and flushed and he knows it. His damned eyes keep fluttering like he's seizing, mouth open and quite possibly drooling like he cannot control his facial muscles, control the noises pouring out of himself as every stroke inside of him touches that one sensitive spot just right.

His nails bite into Markus beautiful copper skin, flecked in freckles as Connor yells out his joyous release to everyone within a three-mile radius.

When it's said and done, they both had to recap how they even got into this scenario.

Neither were complaining, not really, just really taken aback that had happened out of the blue like that and felt so natural. Markus had been chiding Gavin about being a creep, to which Connor amended he was a stalking creep. It hadn't flown over we'll with Markus since he was the captain of the team.

Gav was hazed, he was pissed and retreated. They had stayed and talked to each other. Just talked. Markus invited him to that evening game to which Connor advised he'd already be at because he was a band member. It was early and they had parted but that whole day was filled with happenstance's of Markus appearance and talking to him. The pull had been strong.

The attraction was overwhelming and it was a bit terrifying for both parties to admit. They had just been talking to each other. Nothing significant or substantial.

Markus felt maybe he was riding a gaming win high along with his obvious attraction to Connor.

Connor felt like maybe it was mutual attraction and appreciation for him.

They both left it at that. Where Connor had not seen Markus before, he now began seeing him everywhere: in passing, in some classes, he acts as a student assistant for additional credit and functions.

Connor being in the college band and having a very beautiful jock show him this sort of attention was flattering he has to admit, and that he's a bit curious about him.

Markus asks him out on an official date.

Connor really wants to scoff at him because the scared, nerdy kid inside of him says this is a trap, he's doing this for an elaborate prank, that this is somehow tied to Gavin and you will regret this.

Connor has a hard time believing that someone that looks like Markus would genuinely be interested in a person like him. Then again, he had just blown his back out magnificently not that long ago.

Markus is all warm and fuzzy, bubbly and chipper and Connor gets drunk on the free serotonin every time they meet.

He takes the plunge and says yes to the date and has never regretted it.

The conversation is immaculate, the expectations realistic and superb, and Markus is not just a jock: he's down to earth, adopted into money but lives simply. He wants to be a painter like his dad...

His father is the Carl Manfred, the famous painter and Connor feels like he had an aneurysm.

Connor tells Markus about his Lieutenant Dad, Henry 'Hank' Anderson. How he was the youngest lieutenant on the Detroit police force and Markus stupidly and excitedly smiles and says "I know! I was such a fan of your dad. He helped my dad when art thieves were stealing one-of-a-kind art from the museum!"

Connor is so damned smitten with this lovely creature that it's insane. He thinks he really might lo..like Markus a lot.

Connor's thoughts derail at the word choice a scowl on his face. What was he, 10?

Markus would run away so damned fast if he said those words to him. Just because they'd been going out and now regularly intimate didn't make it love, right? Why, then, did it bother Connor that it felt so right only with this man?

Markus notices the sour disposition Connor has, tries to get him back into the conversation, and even though Connor says he's okay, Markus knows that he's withdrawn from the conversation fully.

Unbeknownst to Connor, Markus had his strong feelings as well over the matter.

He was feeling Connor hard. It blindsided him and he knew that he needed to talk about this with Connor, lest one or both of them get hurt.

They both had fallen hard, much harder than they thought they would.

Instead of that talk Markus promised himself he was mature and level-headed enough for them both to have or even Connor just acknowledging the truth of the matter, they left the relationship in a sort of limbo, as is, neither wanting to face that four-letter word headlong in such a brutally honest way, fear that maybe just maybe what each of them had been feeling wasn't that and neither wanted the hurt if it wasn't L O V E.

I have more ideas on this one but I'll cut it for now because it's huge for a Tumblr post, lol. If it gets some interest, I have no problem with continuing it in another post of my own. HMU if you do like like. 😘

#rk1k #rk1000 #conkus #anonymous #college au #dbh #detroit become human #citrus #🌸 post #a literal story lol

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edengarden · 3 years

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Hiiii!!! I'd like to request a regular matchup pls 😌 (idk of I can request one or two shows at at time so if it's possible can you do for both bnha & haikyuu? If not then just haikyuu is fine with me)

Appearance: I'm fem, black, 5'1, slightly athletic & curvy-ish figure (lol), short? (mid-neck) hair, straight, dark brown eyes, size 9 shoe size (idek why I'm adding this lmao)

Personality stuff: infp-t, Hufflepuff, Taurus sun, scorpio moon, sanguine, chaotic good, ambivert, a BuzzFeed quiz told me I'm a Pinto bean (do what you will with that info jdskdj)

Positive traits/qualities:

I'm super enthusiastic!! I love hyping people up and being energetic in general! I'm always down to try new things and have fun! If anyone is not feeling appreciated I'm ready to make sure they know that they're a queen/king and they're amazing!!!

I'm optimistic! I like to look at the brighter side of things and I always try my best to find a silver lining in any situation! Positive thinking helps me get through tough spots in my life because there's always hope for something better in the future!!

I'm observant!! I usually like to sit quietly and observe my surroundings. Especially in a new environment. Irl I like to read people's body language to asses their mood so ik how to approach them lol. I also do little things like remembering what they (friends/family) like to order at restaurants or something they pointed out at random that they liked. (Idk if I'm making sense lol)

Negative traits/flaws:

I'm annoying. Sometimes I just like being a little shit and cause mischief (being the youngest child does that to a person) but I think sometimes I'm too enthusiastic/energetic that it can be seen as obnoxious/annoying so I usually try and tone it down so I don't bother people...

I'm argumentative. When I have something to say I have to speak up. I try not to step on any toes but I can't help but argue with someone when our views on something clash. I like hearing different sides of debates though so I always give others a chance to talk. I don't go picking fights but if I feel like my opinion is being disregarded/not heard I will argue until it's known!!

I'm forgetful. Sure I'll remember random stuff like 'what my friend said in that one coffee shop last year' but important things like appointments? Birthdays? Assignment due dates? Idk her 😭 I try my best to write anything important down cause my memory is a selective sieve and it'll keep the most useless/random shit.

Hobbies: I love: Reading, writing, listening to music, learning languages, playing saxophone (I'm still learning tho lol), swimming, watching anime and cooking!

Music taste: any type of rock (punk rock, grunge, j-rock, metal), pop, kpop, RnB, jazz, dubstep, lofi hip hop, rap, bangers from: Elvis, the beach boys, Khalid, Ateez, Kendrick Lamar, p!atd, mcr, fallout boy, Nirvana, BTS, mxmtoon, Marianas trench, twenty one pilots, stray kids, Jay Park, crush, Dreamcatcher, Skrillex, MJ, troye sivan etc

Traits I look for: idk kind, funny/fun, loving/lovable, loyal (idk I ain't picky)

Traits I don't like: (nobody's perfect, just don't be a racist, xenophobic, sexist asshole lol)

Fun facts:

I love playing PC games! Might purchase a gaming pc in the future!

I have four piercings! Just my lobes and an industrial atm but I'm definitely gonna get more done!!

I might get some tattoos too one day :D

I wanna learn how to ride a bike (motorcycle)!!

My love language is touch! I live for hand holding, cuddling, hugging, tickle fights and more!! 🥺

I love learning new stuff and rn I'm learning how to draw, paint, play music on sax, a new language and new recipes! :3

I hope that's enough!! Tell me if you need more! Pls take ur time and stay safe!! Hope you are having an amazing day/night!!!! 💙✨

AAH I’M A SAX PLAYER TOO!!!! I love sax, I love sax, I love jazz?? I love growl notes. Sax is amazing, bless sax. Sax quartets are so fun

Also! I only accept one fandom and one type of matchup per ask, but if you want to get a bnha one as well, you can always send your description through again!! (I like doing it this way bc I feel like it’s fair for everyone?? Also if I lose my progress I don’t have as much lost)

Also WOW do you remind me of my self (we’re both Taurus suns hahahah)!! I have to note everything down in my calendar and reminders because I forget everything that’s not necessary for a grade. It’s insane!!

By the way your request was so well done?? So organized?? Wow, kudos to you bro!! I love it

I’d match you up with... GOSHIKI!!

Omg when I saw your qualities and flaws I was like I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I HAVE TOOOO

The way you fire that boy up is damn near DANGEROUS. But he loves you so much for it!! Oh my god you’re his daily dose of serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, EVERYTHING. Goshiki can be hard on himself sometimes though, and he really needs someone who’s able to point out the good in a bad (or mediocre) situation. After a while, he’ll really try to have that kind of mindset for himself. In a way, you’re his idol. He admires you so much; you’re all he talks about, aside from his plans of becoming an ace. Also, you somehow know him better than he knows himself. You’ll point out his tiniest habits and he’s just like ??i do that?? Oh wow I DO do that—

He really really hopes you pick up the technique side of volleyball when you watch him play because he totally wants you to tell him what he can fix!! No, he’s not neglecting his coach it’s just that?? You’re there?? And he loves getting your feedback because it’s so validating. HE ALSO THINKS YOUR LOVE FOR LEARNING NEW THINGS IS SO COOL?? It rubs off on him, now he wants to know all about your hobbies and if he can like,, participate in them with you. He’s a bit competitive and as soon as you tell him you play sax he’s got his mind set on learning the saxophone solo from Money. Please help him, he’s not gonna be able to-

Overall?? You’re Goshiki’s Equal (yeah that’s how he thought of you before he realized he had a Crush), and he respects you and he loves you so much. The team tries to tease him for it but lo and behold; his eyes just light up and he could talk about you for HOURS. Tendou learned Not To Mention The One around Goshiki.

Songs!!!

- Money, Pink Floyd (Goshiki started listening to it religiously for the Solo. He didn’t even get discouraged and you’re surprised by that)

- Cradles, Sub Urban

- Burial (feat. Pusha T, Moody Good & TrollPhace), Yogi & Skrillex (buddy thinks this is the epitome of Hype)

- Blackout, David Bowie

#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu!!#matchup #goshiki tsutomu

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nyrator · 3 years

Text

another long vent post about depression/anxiety

extremely depressed tonight

first made the mistake of driving myself to the grocery store at 6pm, first I had to try scraping the ice off the windshield with nothing but a broom and bare hands, then driving itself was nightmareish, the car feels like a death trap to me, very loose and sloppy compared to my last car, so loud and uncomfortable with no audible music to calm my nerves. My eyes have worsened to the point where I can’t see anything at night- glare takes up my whole vision, even with anti-glare shades. I was driving well below the speed limit the entire time and still almost hit three pedestrians who were all recklessly out on the roads in all black for whatever reason. My nerves are completely shot from it, my chest feels like I’m in a vice and can’t breathe, my eyes are wide open and hunched over the steering wheel, and my body feels both like I’m about to wet myself at any moment and that I’m too stiff/tense/frozen to function as a human at all, it’s that fight-or-flight response at its extreme. Meanwhile, my skin must be weak- my knuckles bleed when driving, and my wrists bled just from carrying in bags of groceries.

then getting home and just dealing with personal drama of someone I know who is so depressed and self destructive and too smart to reason with, who refuses/is unable to seek professional help, who just doesn’t understand or just can’t help venting to me nonstop, no matter how much I beg them not to over and over- their life is so terrible that suicide seems like the only option to them, and I don’t want them to do so, but I can’t keep suffering like this either and I feel like the only thing preventing them from doing so, as poor a job as I do as a human being anyway. But I can’t help them if they can’t help themselves, even if they were just ate a bit better, or just had a journal or someone anonymous they could talk to, but it seems inescapable and impossible to change anything and all we do is argue over it until I snap at them to leave me alone. That person is probably reading this right now and probably hating it, but I doubt anyone on this site even knows who they are.

Tuesday morning, I couldn’t sleep at all from anxiety- it was so severe and inescapable, I laid in bed for four hours feeling like I was dying until I was finally able to sleep for two hours. I can’t seem to stay asleep longer than two hours anymore. Was supposed to hang out with friends that day, but between lack of sleep, depression, and my absolute terror at driving in a snowstorm, I ended up just staying home.

Anxiety has gotten so bad again. I know a lot of how the mechanics work behind it, I know a lot of pains are from tension and lack of breathing. But my old coping mechanisms don’t work anymore. I can focus on breathing for several minutes straight and then fall right back into suffocating. Music, counting things, meditating, none of it helps anymore.

One way to describe the feeling of anxiety- it’s kind of like when you fall asleep on your arm, and you feel all the blood rushing back into it and that tingling sensation. Imagine that, maybe a bit less, but throughout your entire body (especially chest), your body is stiff and not numb, and your entire body is vibrating or shivering/shaking or something.

I still spend 16+ hours laying in bed every single day. When I got home from shopping, the walking around (and the stress of driving) was enough to send me straight to bed, I was so tired and weak. It’s probably why I don’t sleep properly, I’m half awake in bed all the time, what need is there for sleep

I have mail I haven’t opened, taxes I still have to do, messes to clean, and don’t care for any of it. Can’t even talk about some things I’ve been doing to myself out of spite or general depression, the way I’ve been abusing. I promise to try not to do anything too crazy or directly harmful, but even then I worry about slipping up- I tried one thing I shouldn’t talk about, which wasn’t too serious, but still seriously concerning how easy it was to try doing

still haven’t contacted a therapist, my fear of calling someone is so strong I can’t overcome it, especially not after just waking up. Talked to some friends, some agree that I should, at least one thinks it’s a waste of time and money- up to $125 per session to just get a glorified phone call thanks to covid restrictions. I just don’t see the point if I’m still stuck in my apartment at my computer, especially if I have an internet addiction already.

The lack of doing anything is driving me insane, I think. I’ve played four single player games in 2020- ACNH, KH MoM, Panel de Pon, and Picross. In terms of things watched on my own, probably just Japan Sinks and whatever else was on Netflix the few months I had it. Don’t feel motivated to play or watch anything anymore, nothing seems interesting, and mostly just do things with friends if at all

Even ACNH, the game I play the most, I barely do anything in it- mostly just get new items from stores, that’s it. My island decorating has come to a hard halt, mostly because I barely have any furniture I’d like to embellish it with, and mainly because I have no ideas to layout most of it

I want to create, but don’t have the energy to make anything at all. Rotten Nyan is still my current goal, but anxiety has made it next to impossible to work on. I’ve tried several times the past few weeks, all met with failure- the anxiety’s too much, half the time I don’t even know what’s causing it, but my body just gets too tense and cramped without even doing anything, and I just can’t breathe at all while working on it.

Thought about making an omake comic for it, then realized what a terrible idea it was, and how hard it is to draw comics in general. Or anything in general. Wrote down the entire comic while laying in bed one day, went to draw it, was unable to, tried making it a yonkoma, gave up, and felt sick thinking of all the gross things in it that I just made a vent description of Middle Lave and just posted that to the RN tumblr instead.

I can’t think of any ideas, I feel like my art has regressed- I’ve taken more shortcuts for the sake of my hands tensing so fast from anxiety, and I’ve gotten decent at drawing middle Lave I feel, but anything besides a character standing is impossible for me- any environments or character interactions that I’d love to do just feel impossible, let alone my inability to write good ones. Anything I try to think of writing-wise always ends up the same gross content that burned into my memories that I just can’t feel comfortable talking about much at all, nor do I think it’s content people want to see at all.

There’s a lot of detailed kind of art I’d like to do. I kind of want to loosen my restrictions on myself and just draw whatever suffering I feel like, maybe once I use the RN twitter more I might get a little more courage to do so. I see many artists draw detailed scenes in single images, and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t capture that feeling.

Part of me feels torn about it being an autobiography for people to relate to, and being a suffering experience for people to find some weird enjoyment out of. I feel like I’ve lost sight of what it was originally meant to be and now just enjoy “bullying” Middle Lave half the time I guess, but unfortunately for me, bullying makes me feel like vomiting and is hard to draw consistently- maybe I’m too nice. I don’t know, I’m just rambling at this point. The comic is still laid out and just meant to explore the life of Lave, but it’s just so hard to work on.

In terms of other things, I have no idea what to do

Vtuber/streaming? Hate my voice, can’t focus on learning what I need for it in terms of rigging and texturing models. I only know the basics of making 3D things and nothing else.

Console art? I already designed all the ones I’m mainly interested in, but like I mentioned before, can’t think of any character interactions at all that I feel like drawing.

Making a game? I know 2k3 well enough to make anything in it event-wise, though never got over my map failings, and I can’t commit to anything long-term. Godot or another program, or programming in general? Good luck.

I just want to make something, work on a project without losing steam or letting anxiety prevent me from learning. Can’t focus on anything long enough to learn it- Japanese, making a game, programming, a new hobby, anything. I just don’t have the drive to do anything and will give up anything I even try to start, so what’s the point in even trying anything. I have books I haven’t read that I’ve been meaning to read for years, and still don’t have an ounce of energy to want to even organize them on their shelf, let alone open it

At the very least, I got my first big commission (second one ever), designing an OC for someone, and it’s going well, though tonight I’ve lost steam to finish it, and I hope I can get it back tomorrow to try to finalize it.

I’ve mentioned it before, but I really wish I just had someone guide me with art- I miss doing those 30 day challenge kind of things, or “send a number/emoji” kind of asks for OCs, but tumblr’s so inactive that I don’t see them on my dash anymore, and don’t know how to even look for them, especially not on sites like twitter these days. Though, the problem is, no one knows exactly what I like, and I feel awful letting people down if they ask for something I don’t want to draw

I can’t focus on exercise long term, and I’m so out of practice that exhaustion is too strong to beat. I’ve been trying to walk up and down on a step stool for exercise to get me back into basic movement, but even that’s too tiring. Want to do it while watching something, then I realize, I don’t watch anything at all, not even youtube, just an occasional artist stream that I mainly chat with rather than watch

I feel like I’m going to collapse if I turn or move too suddenly, and my eyes are absolutely terrible- glasses are okay, but without them I’m completely blind now- not just blind, but it’s like my eyes see at two different angles sometimes, like one is slanted or something, very disorientating.

It’s 7:30AM, and no desire to sleep at all. Terrified of laying in bed and letting anxiety take over me again. Part of me wants to become completely nocturnal and just avoid everyone during the day and just respond to messages in the AM hours, just wake up at midnight each day and avoid dealing with people. Go to sleep when everyone starts to get active and just isolate myself entirely from society.

I feel like I exist with no purpose whatsoever, and it’s driving me insane- not that life is meant to have a purpose, but I could at least be doing something more than laying in bed all day every day for a year

#text stuffs #nyrants

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1031

Do you usually take blame or blame others? Depends on the context, I guess? When things go wrong on a very deep and personal level between me and people I deeply care for, I usually try to find reasons to blame myself. But if it’s something superficial, like if someone messes up at work through no fault of my own, then I’m able to point my finger to whoever fucked up.

Have you ever been to a McDonald’s in another state? I’ve been to McDonald’s in different provinces and also in different countries. The McDonald’s we went to in Baguio was so surreal because we discovered that they were still using styrofoam containers that they had already phased out years ago everywhere else, and they also never changed the original spaghetti and chicken recipes I grew up with. It was such a blast from the past. As for other countries, I’ve tried out the McDonald’s in Malaysia, Indonesia, and China and made sure to order items that we didn’t have back home.

Have you ever seen 50 First Dates? Yeah, it’s one of my semi-guilty pleasures. It’s such a cheesy movie, but idk the concept is unique and the supporting characters made the whole movie enjoyable for me.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish? The fishy smell at the market can be pretty strong and bleck, but generally I don’t mind the smell of fish. I live in an archipelago, man. We live and breathe seafood. Idk anyone in real life who doesn’t like fish.

Have you ever been to Sea World? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from short term memory loss? I don’t think so, no.

Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? Yeah, but the only one I’ve gotten to read in full was The Fault In Our Stars. I also got to start on The Abundance of Katherines and Paper Towns, but because I only borrowed those copies from friends I never got to read either until the end. All were okay, but I don’t find John Green’s writing to be as great as it was once hyped up to be.

If so, which one is your favorite? I guess TFIOS, since that’s the only one I got to read through to the end.

Are you a protective person? With my loved ones and pets, yes.

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Yeah I’ve felt a lot but fortunately it’s never been a severe one. Just super brief earthquakes where the most that happened to me was a little swaying.

Would you rather go to a beach or city for a vacation? I love beaches, but a change in scenery would also be nice because I already go to beaches for vacations fairly often. City.

Does your license plate number contain the number 8? I never actually memorized my plate number LOOOOOOL I think so? It’s either a 6 or 8.

Were you ever a ghost on Halloween? Nope.

Has someone ever held the door open for you? Yeah, security guards tend to do that for customers/guests. Sometimes, nice strangers that I enter a place with will do it for me too.

Are you a fan of penguins? I think fan is pushing it far lol. I like penguins, but I’m not obsessed.

Have you ever stayed up all night on a school night? Just a handful of times, and it was always as part of a groupwork. I’d never willingly go through an all-nighter for myself.

What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos or Pringles. We also have a local brand that makes these deeeeeelicious salted egg chips, but I’ve never actually taken note of what the brand is.

Has anyone ever sang to you? Not to me. But a lot of people have sung around me.

Are you a good painter? No. That’s why I opt for paint-by-number kits, because those come with a guide haha. I can’t actually craft images by myself – that skill belongs to my sister who has an insane talent for painting.

Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? I’ve never bought a car by myself; my dad takes care of the car purchases. I know he test-drove the Vitara, but idk about the other cars we have.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? Hmm, I don’t write poems. I don’t find the vast majority of them appealing, and only once in a while will there be a poem that is able to speak to me.

Do you like pineapple? Nope.

Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite.

Do you look more like your mom or dad? Most comments point to my mom, but I’ll get the occasional remark that half of my face is my dad’s as well. I’m a good mix of both.

Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? This hasn’t happened before.

When was the last time someone called you babe or baby? Maybe August? I’m not too sure. It’s been a few months.

Do you have an older brother? No. But I’m super close with my eldest cousin on my mom’s side and we grew up together and all that, and I pretty much consider him my older brother. He’s definitely more a brother than a cousin to me, and it has always felt and been that way.

Are you a fan of art? Yes, especially paintings and dioramas.

Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? My mom’s, I think? I really don’t know, I’m bad at recognizing this kind of stuff. You’d have to ask people who actually see me on a daily basis.

Have you ever seen the movie My Girl? Is this the one with the really sad scene of a boy’s funeral and the girl’s like, “He can’t see without his glasses”? I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ve heard about that scene a million times.

Do you watch Teen Wolf on MTV? Ugh, MTV’s teen shows are such a cringefest to me. I never followed it, but I’ve had to watch a few eps back in high school when my friends would watch it while we were at someone’s place. Not my cup of tea.

When it was on, did you watch Cory In The House on Disney? I watched a few episodes, especially when it was still new. But we were also in the process of moving then and we didn’t have cable for a few years in our new house, so I had to miss out most of it.

Do you have any blackheads? I don’t.

Do you have any freckles? Nope.

Do you have a movie that you have to watch during the summer every year? No, but I have something similar. I like watching Love Actually at least once every year, during the Christmas season. I like watching Two for The Road once a year as well, regardless of the time of year.

Do you think that life isn’t fair sometimes? I mean yeah. It doesn’t revolve around me, so I know it won’t always be fair.

When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Valentine’s Day last year.

What was the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Haven’t touched it since September, though.

How many books do you plan to read this summer? It’s past summer, and I haven’t been doing a lot of reading in general.

Does your house have a dishwasher? No, not a common appliance here.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? I probably do. But I haven’t seen people outside of family for so long that I can barely remember who has which tattoos. I’m pretty sure I know someone who has flowers.

Do you like the name Carter? It just reminds me of the underwear brand honestly, so not a fan.

Have you ever had a secret admirer? No. Should there be one, they shouldn’t be having high hopes; I wouldn’t be interested in the least.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in? There’s English, Filipino, Korean, Spanish, German, French, Japanese – 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. Disagree for the most part, but 50 First Dates is cute.

Did the last type of shoes you wore have laces? Yups. I wore sneakers when I went out to get Starbucks last Friday evening.

How much money did you spend yesterday? The charging cable that I ordered arrived yesterday, so I had to shell out ₱140 for that.

What genre is your favorite movie? It’s a romcom/drama. My other favorite is a drama.

Are you texting anybody right now? Nope. I’m all alone today, which is the way I want to be for this weekend.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? My parents.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? I really do, hahaha. I don’t know why the people at the LTO gave me a pass, but I had been allowed to smile with my teeth. That helped make my license photo turn out super well and I no longer feel embarrassed whenever I have to take it out and present it somewhere.

What’s your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie? Potato Corner fries. Can’t be any other type of fries.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? July or August when this random guy slid into my PMs. I had never had so much fun blocking somebody so fast.

Was the last person you met a male or female? The last new person I met was male.

Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Angela or Andi.

Do you own a map of the world? I mean, I guess. I have a collection of the World Almanac for Kids books, and it had always included a world map in its Countries chapter every year.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

Is the light on in the room you’re in? No, doesn’t have to be as it’s bright out and I can see the sun from my window.

Who did you last spoon with? Gabie.

Are you currently watching TV? No.

Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Never. Hope I’ll never be needing one.

Do you own any clothing that has animal print? I have a tank top with cheetah print that I sometimes wear at home.

Does your family eat dinner together? Yes, every evening. We don’t eat together when my dad is working abroad, but since he has stayed home for all of 2020 because of Covid, we’ve gotten to eat together as a family all year.

Where do you work? Somewhere in Metro Manila; I’m not giving the city away.

Are you in high school? I got out of there nearly five years ago.

Do you have a TV in your room? I used to, but not anymore.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? My phone and laptop both are.

What was the last video game you played? Mario Kart 8.

Are you hungry?: I can def go for a snack, or maybe even a full meal. It’s taking everything in me not to order Popeye’s or Army Navy from Grab rn.

What color is the chair you’re sitting on?: I’m sitting up in bed; my sheets are blue with gold/yellow prints.

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: I got bottled coffee when I went to 7-Eleven a week ago.

Do you like salsa that has fruit in it?: ...Don’t all types of salsa have fruit in them though? It would be brand-new knowledge to me if I was told not all salsas have fruit.

Have you ever opened up your computer to clean the fan on the inside?: No. I’d rather have professionals do that.

Can you count in binary?: No, and I never even understood how it works.

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: No. Mostly because it reminds me of cathedrals.

Are you a chocoholic?: Nah. I like chocolate, but I can live without it.

Are you scared of snakes?: I mean if they were venomous or obviously wanted to eat me whole, of course. But I’ve also already held a couple of snakes before.

Have you had your wisdom teeth removed?: No.

Do you like hard or soft pretzels better?: Soft all the way. I find the hard ones too salty.

What was the last magazine or catalog you looked through?: I don’t even remember. Maybe Tatler? My grandma has loads of those at her house.

When was the last time you wore a raincoat?: I don’t think I have ever worn a raincoat.

Have you ever been carded when buying something?: Idk what that is but nothing out of the ordinary has ever happened to me whenever I’ve made a purchase, so I’m gonna go ahead and say no.

Do you eat meat?: Yep.

Corn and mashed potatoes, or beans and rice?: Both pairings aren’t really a part of our cuisine, so neither sound appealing to be honest. As someone who thrives on rice, I hate the idea of eating beans with it; so I would go with corn and mashed potatoes even though I’m having a hard time imagining how it would work.

Can you sleep with the light on?: I probably can, but it would take me a lot longer to fall asleep.

What’s your operating system of choice?: Mac/iOS.

Have you ever broken a bone?: Never.

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: I don’t have a favorite color to use, but I prefer pastel shades in general over neon.

Do you have a flashlight?: My phone has a built-in flashlight, but we also keep a couple of emergency flashlights at home in case of blackouts.

Do you like watermelon?: I like some watermelon-flavored stuff like candies, but I’m not fond of the fruit.

…Honeydew?: Hahahahahaha. BoJack Horseman, anyone? Anyway, I’ve never had honeydew and probably wouldn’t like it considering my established opinion on fruits.

Can you shoot a gun?: I’ve never tried, so I’ll say no. I’ve always been meaning to go to a shooting range though; I feel like it’ll be such a cool experience.

Do you like salad?: Not for the most part. The only kind I enjoy is spicy tuna salad, which only has lettuce in it alongside tuna sashimi and spicy mayonnaise.

When was the last time you smashed your finger?: I don’t know if I ever have? This doesn’t ring a bell to me.

What color is your computer?: Silver/gray.

Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class?: No, my chemistry classes in high school and college were never that fun.

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: Sure.

What color hair do you have?: Black.

Do you use the microwave often?: I wouldn’t say so; just a couple of times a month.

Are you good at spelling?: Sure, I’d claim that. Thank the movie Akeelah and the Bee; that movie made me super passionate about spelling and dictionaries for a time. I can still feel its effects today because I’m still very much particular about spelling more so than any other kind of writing/language mechanic.

Have you ever petted a donkey?: I’ve never even seen one before :o but I’d love to have the chance to pet one, heh. It would make me so happy.

When was the last time you went to the doctor’s for a physical?: 2016.

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: Sure.

Have you ever painted a room? Never have, but would like to give it a try.

#survey #surveys #multiple ones again so feel free to chop up #might make this a thing just because #we'll see!#but i most likely will

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kileyrose-2003 · 4 years

Text

Dan Torrance x Fem! Reader: Intro

A/N: Hello lovelies! This is the beginning of the fic I posted about earlier during the week that is going to be revolved alot around Rose. How many parts It'll turn out being, I don't know. Most of this fic, I'm doing in pretty big detail and I've never written anything like this before.

I am going on a date on Valentine's Day to most likely see Birds of Prey and from what I've heard about it, my sappy Bisexual heart already has a soft spot for Harley Quinn and Roman Sionis so I probably will begin accepting request for them as well as the Dr. Sleep characters I already write for. (Doctor Sleep Request are still open) I do have 2 Rose the Hat request am I working on rn. Anyways, Criticism is welcome on this one. I hope you enjoy and all is well.

Warnings: Child abuse, sexual tension, mentioned violence against children, gore, kidnapping, the usual.

Key: Dragă is the equivalent to sweetheart in Romanian

1980:

SNAP! Rose the Hat removed the top from one of their many full cannisters. "Eat well, live long," She whispered amorously before members of The True pushed her out of the way to get a whiff of their freshest thing of steam.

She stepped back, crossing her arms as she watched The True feast. This one's name was Anthony and she could remember juiceness in the taste of his steam. Yet, she didn't want him.

She missed the feel of the hunt and seeing the steamheads squirm underneath her. Rose felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and she smiled at Crow, kissing the crook of his neck. "Aren't we quite frisky?"

"Just in love with you." He kissed her cheek and rubbed up and down her sides. "Crow.." Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. "I want you Rosie..only if you're okay with it, of course."

"You idiot, you already know the answer to that question." She smashed her lips against his and the two of them stepped into her trailers.

The noises coming from her RV were not unfamiliar to anyone who belonged to The Knot. When all was said and done, the two laid in each other's arms. Having their typically late night talks.

"There's not as much steam." Rose rolled her eyes into the back of her head. "Oh please don't be daft." She rolled over and buried her head in his bare chest. "We have three empty cannisters, not a big deal."

"It is a big deal. That's all time low for us and the kids now are being taught the whole stranger danger things. It's not as easy to lure them in."

"Well then what do you suppose we do about it? Without turning anyone." Rose looked him in the eye.

"Well, I've been thinking about it for a while...I have an idea but I don't know if you're going to want to hear it. It's a little..unorthodox." Rose raised a brow and chuckled. "Oh? Do tell because now I'm curious.

"You're going to think I'm insane, Rosie." She rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you of all people know I've seen it all. Just be honest and tell me."

"What if we got a baby or a kid?" He fiddled around with his hat. Rose had to fight the urge to laugh. "A baby? What the fuck would we both do with a baby?"

"Well not exactly a baby but look, I was thinking most rube children typically tend to relate to other rube children better than adults."

"And?"

"And what if we got a child, a particularly steamy one, to help us get what we need?" Rose thought about it for a moment. "That beats the whole point of not turning anyone though. Because I know you well enough to know that eventually you will get attached to it and you'll end up wanting to turn it."

"Rosie, they wouldn't be an it. They would be family. By the time they would be old enough to be turned the cannisters would be full and she-"

"She?" Rose questioned. "Assuming it's a girl. They don't have be a girl but anyways, by that point all the cannisters would be full because we'd have them to help us find the steamheads and it wouldn't be an issue turning them because we'd have such an easier time finding steam."

Rose sighed rubbed her face. "I don't know..it's just- Crow, I'm not fit, no- we're not fit to raise children. We kill them, Crow!"

"I know but we have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Worse case we wipe the kid's mind and everything goes back to normal or we kill 'em."

Rose stared deeply into Crow's eyes and pulled his face close to her's. "I'll think about it." She kissed the top of his head and looked up at the clock on the wall. "The rubes are probably wondering when they'll hear from you. Time you get ready to get on the road, big man."

"I know," He groaned and stood up, kissing the top of her. "Just think about it?" Rose made a humming noise and kissed his hand before watching him walk away.

Rose actually did think about it for a while before bringing up the matter with the Grampa Flick while Crow was away on business and the others were asleep.

"Well..it could be worth a shot. It's really up to you though, Rosie." She took a sip of her tea. "I'm not asking for pros and cons. I want to know what you think I should do."

He gripped his cane in his hand and sighed. "I think it's worth a shot. Even if it doesn't work out, we still do end up with extra steam and it's not like we hurt for money, Rosie."

"You're sure?" Rose held her hands in his. "I'm positive." She looked him up and down as if she was analyzing him. "Okay." She stood up from the lawn chair and kissed the top of Flick's head. "You won't mention anything to Crow when he comes back and make sure the rest of the family doesn't either?"

"Not a word," He coughed. "Not a word." She nodded and smirked as she walked away.

About two days after that conversation, Rose began her search for the perfect fit for The Knot. The first two weeks she hit nothing but finally she found something.

Just outside of a resort area in Colorado, Rose discovered a small row of cookie cutter homes located on the beginnings of a mountain. While she thought the houses were very rube like, she paid them no mind. What interested her more was what laid beyond those homes.

Farther up the road if you made a left, there was a long dirt driveway that after about a mile or two, lead up to a large cabin.

At first the house seemed like nothing but ordinary at first glance but to people who shined the way The True Knot did, it was a light shining to the moths searching meaninglessly in the dark.

Hardly anyone ever came in and out of the house and took Rose over a week to actually pin you as the steamhead in the house since you did have an older brother.

You were different from the rest of your family. "Special," Rose heard your mother mutter to you one night as she tucked you though she didn't have to be in her head to know special was not the word she was actually thinking of.

She was scared of you. Your whole family was scared of you and Rose couldn't understand why. You never were particularly domineering with your gifts and you always obeyed everything they asked of you. Even staying out of there heads when they felt their minds going adrift yet, they were terrified of you.

Rose watched you for weeks, constantly consulting back and forth with Grampa Flick about whether you'd be a good fit for a group. You didn't seem to notice though, as you were preoccupied with other things in your home life and wanted nothing but to hear from at least either of your parents that they loved you.

The one night in particular, Rose got to have a front row seat on your pain. She sat up on a tree branch, swinging her legs back and forth as she stared intensely at your bedroom window. The rest of the house was dark but your room was lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Now do you see why we're so stressed out?!" Your silhouette came into view from the light colored curtains shrouding your window and Rose could make out the outline of a male much taller than standing across from you.

"I-i'm sorry, daddy!" You screamed, terror brimming from everything to your voice to your posture. "I-i can't help...I wanna be normal!" You sobbed hysterically. "Come on, dad. She can't help she is, the way she is."

"Quiet, son!" Rose shook her head, still keeping her eyes fixed you. "Fucking rubes," She muttered under her breath.

Your father's fiery gaze turned back to you. "Then why can't you be normal?!!" Rose could see him gripping your wrist and closed her eyes as she heard the sound of a hand smacking against flesh followed by a scream. "Dad!" She heard your brother yell followed by another hit, except this time a male cry radiated through the house.

Rose could take no more and began her way back to the jeep as she seen your mother's figure enter view. "What the hell is going on in here?" She could hear from the distance, the further Rose went the more she blocked out the noise.

She got in the car and watched your house for a few moments. The light went out in your room and Rose could hear no more screams. She admitted a sigh of relief and covered her face. She knew it was unhealthy to feel so attached to you. She didn't even know you but that insecurness in your voice reminded her so much of yourself and how lonely she felt when she was younger. Rose had to have you. There was no option.

When Rose shared the news with the rest of The Knot, there was hesitance at first but eventually they gave in. Knowing that she was their leader and they'd do as she intended anyways.

The next couple of days were spent carefully meditating in her RV away from the rest of The Knot and planting little worms your head. While Rose didn't think you would give her much trouble leaving home once she got in your head, she was taking no chances.

The night before she planned on taking you, Crow finally came back from business and Rose still had no intentions of telling him what she was doing. Besides an extra add on steam, she figured she could also use you as sort of a gift to Crow. An 'I'm sorry I don't listen to you and here's me making up for it.'

He knew something up when she refused to speak anyone in The Knot but didn't question it. He figured she was going through one of her moods and decided it was probably best not to say anything to her at all.

The next morning when you woke up, you felt an almost magnetic pull on your body like something or someone wanted your attention from outside. It wasn't a scary pull like the ones from whatever stray lost souls were around. This pull felt warm and safe.

You unbraided your long, Y/c/h and threw on the first dress you seen in your closet before skipping downstairs. "Where do you think you're going?" Your mother called out from the kitchen. "Just to pick some flowers." You made up.

"Don't wander to far, please." You slipped on a pair of sneakers. "I won't. I promise. I'll see you soon, mama." You blew her kiss, hoping she'd return the gesture but the older woman refused to even look at you and you stepped onto your porch dejectedly.

You closed your eyes and focused your attention to the direction of the pull. It came from the woods and you hesitated, thinking of all the ghostie people you seen come from there yet something kept telling you to just go for it.

You walked off towards the edge of the woods, letting your shine be your guide. Even though it was still day, everything was so dark and desolate around you. You felt chills on your arms the further you went and just as you were about to turn around you felt the pull grow stronger, horribly strong.

"Well, hi there!" You jumped at the unexpected voice and spun around to look at Rose. You squeezed your eyes shut, expecting her to morph into one of the ghostie people but she didn't. Rose chuckled and you blushed. "..Hi." You toddled over to the much the taller woman, staring deeply into her gray eyes before she pulled you into a small hug.

The gesture was surprising but it didn't bother you. It was her aura that bothered you. Something was off about her. "I was wondering when you were going to get here." She smiled and held out a flower in her left hand. "Do you want one?"

"Yes please," You hummed in the cutest little voice, getting the feeling that this was a person you didn't want to mess with yet you thought the top hat lady in front of you had to be probably the prettiest person you'd ever seen in your short existence.

Rose smiled and slipped the flower in your hand, but not before taking it gently in her own for a second. "There you are, Y/n." Your eyes widened and Rose chuckled. "What's the matter?"

"You know my name?" Rose smirked self assuredly and ran an empty hand through your hair. "Of course I do! I know everything about you. How else did you think I was able to get you here?" Her tone was questioning but hinted on a doting nature.

You pulled away from her, still a little frightened but Rose gently gripped your wrist. "There's no need to be scared, honey. I'm special, like you." You shook your head, thinking back to what your dad said the other week and looked down a little ashamed. "Oh...I-I'm not special." You tried to deny. "Oh yes, you are. You are a very talented little girl."

(You can hear me can't you, sweetie?)

At first a feeling of panic arose inside you but it sooned bubbled over with excitement.

(I thought I was the only one!)

Rose thought about scolding you over how loud your thought came out but let it go because she too knew how happy she felt the first she knew she wasn't alone.

(You are far from the only one, Y/n. There are alot of other special people out there.)

"My friends..my very, very best friends, they're all special like us. I bet you must have friends who are so magical like you." You shook your head. "No?"

"I don't have alot of friends and my family doesn't think I'm special," You pouted. "That's because they're jealous because not all people can be special like us. Besides, I wouldn't worry about them."

"Why?" You asked sweetly. "Because I'm here to take you away from all that. I'm here to give you a family. Don't you want a family, Y/n?"

"I-i already have a family." The look in Rose's eyes scared you. It was possessive and determined. "But they're not really family though. Tell me dear, when the last time you've heard either of your parents say they love you?" You felt a pang of sadness ringing through you. "I-i should get back to my mom." Rose gripped at your wrist again, this time enough to hurt. "No, no..stay a while. See more magic."

You shook your head and struggled. "Just a fresh new start with your real family. You don't remember me and your daddy?" She held your tiny hand in her's. "No.." You said softly but now you started to question yourself. Maybe you did. Pictures of a man with black hair flashed infront of your eyes. "He loves you so much. We love you so much and we want you to come home with us. You want to come home with." For a moment you found yourself taken back by the warmth and you thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go with her.

"N-no! I can't. I won't-" Rose shushed you, sending you calming waves that started to make you feel tired and sluggish. "Or maybe I-i do wanna go home." You mumbled hesitantly, still trying to keep some grip on reality. "You do want to go home. You're happy to come home."

Every piece of control you had began to fade and your mind went blank. "I-I'm happy." Your mind finally caved and Rose held her arms open to you and you stepped into them. "Good girl. Sleep well, Y/n.." You went limp in her arms and everything went black around you.

By the next hour, any memories you had of your family would be gone and everything you ever knew would be fabrications Rose made up in your head.

Part 1: The True Knot

The fire at The Knot's campground burned bright in the mix of the setting sun when Rose arrived back at home. She stepped out of the Jeep, slinging your stirring form over her shoulder. "Mhh..wha-what's happening?" Rose shushed you and walked down hill with you. "Nothing. We just got home." There was a pause. "Do you know who I am?"

You had to think about it for a moment. "M-mama?" You asked hesitantly. "Yes," Rose hummed and pressed a kiss to your temple.

You heard the crunching of leaves and turned to see people walking towards you. "Mommy?" You whispered nervously and held onto Rose's floral patterned shirt tightly, still feeling some of the residual emptiness from your true upbringing.

"Shh..it's okay, my sweet. They're family and they're just going to watch you for a few minutes. Mommy has someone she has to address in conversation and then I'll come get you. Okay?"

"O-okay." You nodded and let her hand you off to Silent Sarey as she walked off not to far in the distance to one of the larger size trailers, knocking on it before stepping inside.

"Crow?" He looked up from his copy of 'A Clockwork Orange' with a smile. "Yes, Rosie?" She plopped down in his lap. "I missed you." She kissed his ear, nipping at the cartilage. "How the business deal?"

"A waste of my time." He kissed her forehead. "Well, you were out I didn't waste my time." He raised a brow. "What are you playing at?" She smirked and turned her gaze in the opposite direction. "You can let her in now," She called out loudly.

The door to his trailer swung open and shut and you stepped inside. Crow's face went blank and he put a hand up to his chin. "Rosie, what the hell did you-"

Rose grinned and knelt down to your level. "Come here, Y/n. There's someone important I want you to meet."

You obeyed and approached Rose, letting her scoop you up in her arms. The two lovers exchanged glances but nothing was spoken out loud. "This is your daddy, Y/n."

"Hi." You smiled sweetly and Crow cracked a large grin. "Hi honey...Rosie, can I-" Rose nodded and shifted you over to Crow.

At first you tensed up but the closer you snuggled up to him, the more you relaxed. "My little darling." Rose smiled softly as he kissed the top of your head and rocked you in his arms. "I love you so much."

"I love you too daddy." Crow held you in silence for a few more minutes until he attempted to hand you off to Rose. You gripped onto his shirt tightly and buried your head in his chest. "Don't let me go," You begged. You were still so touch starved and he just felt so warm and kind.

Rose was slightly taken aback. You knew her more than Crow yet you were already attached to him. "I won't, I promise." He maneuvered you that way he was cradling you and he rocked you back and forth.

She felt a pang of jealousy growing inside her, feeling slightly threatened that you seemed to like Crow more than her but she didn't let it bother her too much. She had a feeling you were going to be a mommy's and daddy's girl.

It didn't take long for you to fall asleep, feeling soothed by Crow's presence. "So..are you happy?" Rose asked lowly.

"Very...Rosie?" She made a slight humming noise. "Where'd you find her?" He asked hesitantly. "A little outside the more touristy area of Colorado. The rubes she belonged to are nothing worth writing home about if you catch my drift."

He nodded solemnly. "How-what did you to her to make her-" Her warm grey eyes interlocked with his. "Do you care?" He decided he didn't. Sometimes it was best to not know anything at all.

Part 2: Danny

Your presence in The True Knot did not bring in that much of an increase in steam but you made it much easier to find steamheads which was extremely helpful to Crow in the long run.

No longer did he have to take an extra cannister for himself to find far away steamheads because all he'd have to do is ask you if you felt someone 'special like you,' close by and without knowing any better, you'd always say yes and immediately pointed him in the right direction.

Neither him or Rose let you near the rubes anymore, though. Not that long after Rose brought you home she had you try to lure a little girl over to her but the girl's parents, both big steamheads, knew better.

For you to be gone for a half an hour was normal, maybe even forty five minutes since you were a child after all and barely ever got to see kids your age, let alone like you but an hour was way too long.

What the rubes said or did to you neither Rose or Crow could figure out but the both of them agreed they didn't like the mortified expression on your face or the tears that stained your cheeks afterwards.

The two of them took turns securing their food, that way you wouldn't ever see what exactly it was that they did to your newly made friend but if Crow was being honest with himself, he probably would of admitted somewhere deep down he knew you probably knew the truth of what they did way before he would of liked you to know.

While Rose secured their meal he tried asking you alot of different ways what it was that they said or did to you but you wouldn't say. He let it slide for a while and settled on just comforting you for a while but made sure to bring up again later on when everything was all said and done with their hunt.

"You got to talk to me, Y/n," He tried his hardest to not sound like he was begging as he pulled the covers over your tiny. Rose stood in the corner of the RV and stared as if she was examining everything you said and did.

You shook your head avidly and nuzzled closely to his form. "I can't." He ran his fingers through your hair. "Why not? Honey, you know we're not mad and you're not in trouble."

"Because it would make you and mommy sad and I don't want to make either of you sad." Rose bit down on her lip as Crow thought of a reply. "Baby, you could never-"

"Leave her be, Crow," Rose interrupted. "She's had a long enough of a day and she doesn't need either of us interrogating her. When she's ready to talk about it, she will."

Crow let out a sigh and nodded. "Okay." He shut the light off above your bed and kissed both your cheeks. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night daddy." He ran fingers through your hair one last time before stepping away.

The next morning when you woke up Rose sat across from you on your bed, lazily sipping on her tea. "Good morning, my sweet."

"Morning mommy." She plopped a kiss sloppily into your hair and handed you a cup of tea. "Can I have a little talk with you?" You nodded and set your cup of tea down on the ledge of the window.

You looked Rose deeply in the eyes and she took your tiny hands in her's. "I know you don't want to talk about what happened yesterday but I want you to know that not everything everyone says is necessarily true. You're understanding what I'm getting at?"

You nodded and Rose smiled. "Just know that no matter what, none of us would ever hurt you and we love you. Alright?"

"Okay." Rose reached inside the pocket of her jeans and pulled a necklace with a little crystal obelisk hanging from it. "This was given to me by someone very special a long time ago. You probably wouldn't know, but at one point I felt lonely like you. Maybe a little scared so they gave me this, along with my hat. My hat will always stay with me I think you need this more than I do."

She placed the necklace in your hand. "Whenever you feel, lost, scared, whatever. You squeeze that stone, and that stone will keep you safe. Got it?" You placed the necklace around your neck and nodded. "Thanks mommy." You hugged Rose tightly. "You're welcome, my dearest..I love you so much." She kissed your cheek. "I love you too, mama."

In that moment, Rose didn't care whether you even brought in steam or not. She truly just enjoyed you. It was the first time she could truly say she loved you. The whole Knot really did love you. They would do it all over again with raising you if they could and not change a thing about you or that entire duration of time. Except when they brought you to Florida.

December, 1980:

"Y/n, my love. It's morning." Rose gently shook your shoulders and you groaned. "Why are you all up so early?" You sat up and stretched. "We're going to move camp today." You raised a brow. "This early? I feel like we just got here," You whined sleepily.

"I know but daddy and I have some business to attend to." She ran her fingers through your hair. "You'll like the next place better. It has a pretty lake overlooking it and trees. There's lots of flowers there too." She paused and ran a thumb across your cheek. "We can pick some later if you want." You smiled softly. "I like flowers."

"I know you do, my sweet girl." Rose pulled you into her arms and held you for a few moments, kissing the top of your head. "Go get dressed and say good morning to daddy. He'll get aggravated if I keep asking him if we're ready to move."

You giggled and slid out of her lap. "Okay mama." You placed a tiny kiss on her cheek and picked out a bohemian dress from your dresser that Apron Annie sowed you once Rose gave her word you were the one.

"I don't think daddy could ever get mad at you." You mumbled as you slid the dress over your head. "He loves you alot. He doesn't even have to say it. I can see it in his mind." Rose smiled softly. "Daddy is a very loving man. He loves you alot too." You could tell she was trying to hide something from you and you attempted to get inside her head to figure out what she was thinking but she immediately shut you out.

"Mommy!" You whined. "Sorry sweetie. You're just not old enough yet." Rose ran a quick brush through your hair. "And then when you're old enough, you're not going to want to know." She plopped a kiss on the top of your head. "Now go on."

"Okay," You pouted and stepped outside. You seen Grampa Flick sitting outside on his lawn chair and waved. "Good morning, Grampa."

"Morning, dragă." He held his arms out to give you a hug which you immediately gave him. "Have you seen, papa?"

"His trailer." He pointed to the left. "Thanks Grampa." You kissed his cheeks and walked off in the other direction. You watched Crow fiddle a few of the bottom conpartments on his trailer before saying anything.

"Hi daddy!" Crow turned to look at you and smiled, stopping whatever he was doin. "Hey babe." He scooped you up in his arms and kissed your cheeks, his mustache tickling you slightly. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good. Mama and I cuddled last night so she kept me warm." You smiled happily. "She gives good cuddles, right?"

"The best!" You smiled and nuzzled closely to him. "Daddy, what's that for?" He turned his head to the side. "What's what for, sweetie?"

"That." You pointed to the rope by his feet and he kicked it aside quickly. "Oh..nothing you have to worry about." You furrowed your little brows curiously and he smiled gamely.

Was he trying to trick you or something? Crow chuckled and kissed your cheeks. "I don't have to be in your mind to know what you're thinking." He gently set you down on your feet and knelt down to your level. "We'll tell you when you're older, okay?"

"Okay, daddy." He placed a kiss on your forehead. "Good girl. Anyways-" He ran his fingers through your hair. "What do you need?"

"Mommy wanted to know if we were ready to go. She sent me because she was afraid to ask you. I don't know why though." Crow chuckled and shook his head. "You can tell mommy, I'll be ready in about thirty minutes. Got it?"

"Got it." You skipped away and Crow let out sigh, wondering just how much longer they could hide all this from you til you got too curious for your own good.

The ride to Florida was long and didn't have that much interesting scenery. The roads were long and straight and it didn't take you long to fall asleep in the passenger seat of Rose's colossal RV.

That whole time while she knew you were fast asleep, Rose used her radio system to formulate a plan on how they were going to trap Violet. Normally one of them would stay with you while other went with the rest of the group but this time they couldn't afford to have one of them stay. From what Rose could tell at the time, this kid was big steam all though it wouldn't be til years later it was in fact the wrong child she chose to take within just a few mile radius of each other.

Once you reached the campsite Rose quickly woke you up and informed you she had some business to attend to with Crow. "Y/n, stay inside while I'm out." You let out a groan. "But mama-"

"No buts." Rose knelt down to your level and ran her fingers through your hair. "It won't be that long."

"I don't like being by myself in here though. It's scary," You whined and nuzzled into her. You pointed to the cabinet she kept all the cannisters in. "I hear things in there and it makes me feel small and it's scary."

'And see things too.' You thought but wouldn't dare say outloud. You curled into Rose and she kissed the top of your head. "Hey, it's okay..Nothing can make you feel small unless you really feel small and tell me, what are you Y/n?"

"Tiny but mighty." Rose grinned proudly. "Exactly, so no. You are not afraid. Because I know whatever you hear coming from that cabinet, you can deal with. Right?" You nodded and she ran a hand through your hair. "You still have the necklace I gave you?"

"Yes mama." You squeezed the pendant hanging from your neck. "Good, that'll keep you nice and safe." You nodded and she pressed a kiss against your head, handing you her TV remote. "I'll be back, my flower."

She gave you a slight wave before slamming the door shut behind her. You quickly ran over to her bed and buried yourself under the covers as you turned the TV on.

'Snow White' was playing on one of those channels you were scrolling through and you settled down, snuggling into the blankets. You didn't know how long the movie was on when you felt a cold hand lace their hand on top of yours.

Your blood ran cold and you squeezed your eyes as your open hand squeezed the necklace your mother gave you. "You know, this movie used to be my favorite too when I was a little girl."

You seen the face of a bloodied and clearly beaten woman infront of you and you fell backwards off of Rose's bed. "When I was alive, I thought you were a freak but now I know you're special and I never got the chance to appreciate you, my special girl."

"Please..please, go away." You squeezed the necklace as hard as you could. If you weren't in Rose's possession, you would of known who the woman standing infront of you was automatically but now you hadn't a clue. "Stay safe, my little one." Your real mother bent down to kiss your head and you let out a scream before running as far as you could. "MAMA!!" You shrieked.

Not even 15 minutes later you were farther from Rose than you even were before and The True arrived back to where a majority of their trailers were parked with a hysterical Violet in tow.

"Please let me go! My mommy will be so worried about me. Please, please, please!" She begged. None of them paid her any mind though as they began to bound her. They were so used to the screams and begs by now, it didn't bother them.

"So where are we going after this?" Crow asked, as he threw a couple of items that they would need later to various unoccupied members of The True.

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe Massachusetts, because you know how Y/n loves the snow.." Rose continued to talk as Crow zoned out, putting the left over rope in the storage compartment of his RV. "..She is in your trailer, right?" Rose closed the door to her RV.

Crow furrowed his brows. "Who?" Rose sighed inwardly. "Y/n, Crow Daddy. She is in your trailer, I hope. Because she's not in mine." He closed the compartment and unlocked the door to the trailer. "Let me see."

He walked inside and shut the door behind him, examining the space for you. "Crow, she's there right?" You weren't. A spike of panic rised in him and he ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated manner, unlocking an almost unconfident reserve on his face. "Uh, yeah..she's in there," He lied through his teeth, desperate to save him and you from Rose's wrath. "Rosie, is it okay if I stop with her really quick to get some fresh air?" He asked. "I don't care what you do. You'll be able to find your way back?"

"Sure." He smiled through gritted teeth even though Rose couldn't see him and silently cursed you underneath his breath. "Okay..tell Y/n, I love her." Rose began to walk off to her RV after making sure Barry had everything with Violet handled.

"I will.." He watched the rest of the caravan leave before getting behind the wheel and closing his eye. "Alright Y/n, let's hope my instincts are good enough."

Meanwhile a few minutes away in driving distance, as you passed the lakeside view Rose told you about, you heard noise coming from the distance and jumped back.

The more you listened though, the more you realized there was mostly children there. You walked up the small hill and watched them for a second. "So many rubes.' You thought to yourself. 'None of them like well..or not?'

You began to feel that same magnetic pull you felt from Rose the first time you encountered her and you found your eyes fixated on a boy sitting by himself.

You felt attached to your family but never did you feel such a connection strangers and you didn't know why. It wouldn't be until years later, you would put two and two together and realize the person infront of you was in fact your soulmate.

Despite your fear of all the rubes around you carefully approached the stranger sitting on the bench, not daring to put your guard down.

"You mind if I sit next to you?" The little boy shook his head and you sat down next to him. "What's your name?"

"..Danny." You smiled. "That's a nice name. I'm Y/n, it's nice to meet you." He didn't say anything back but you didn't mind. Your parents were both mostly laid back but if there was a thing they were big on, it was respect.

"..nice to meet you too. Sorry, I'm just having an off day." You shrugged. "I'm okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No..you wouldn't understand." The more you looked at him the more, the more you could tell he wasn't exactly so rube like.

(Is it because of this?)

The boy sitting next to you looked at you blankly. "Danny, I know you can hear me," You said softly. "No..not because of that. Well..maybe a little. She'll just keep coming until she gets me. I don't care what Dick says."

"Who will come and get you?" You asked then blushed. "Sorry, I shouldn't of pried." Dan shrugged dismissively and looked up towards his apartment building and pointed to the bathroom. "The lady in the bathroom."

A decaying woman flashed infront of your eyes and your posture stiffened. "You can see her, right?"

"Yeah, I see her..If it makes you feel better, I see scary things too sometimes." You took his hand in your equally tiny ones. Dan felt the urge to pull away from you but there was this warm element to you that made him feel comforted by you.

"Really?" You nodded solemnly and moved your hand away from his to take a necklace of your neck. It had a little crystal obelisk hanging from the bottom if it. "My mommy gave this to me for when I get scared. If you squeeze the crystal, it's supposed to make you feel safe." He said nothing and you put the obelisk in his hand. "I think you need it more than I do."

"You're sure?" You nodded and for the first time in a while, Danny Torrance actually gave a hint of a smile.

(Thanks, Y/n.)

(You're welcome.)

"Y/n?" You could hear someone calling your name and you turned around. "Y/n, honey?" You looked at Dan. "That's my daddy. I have to go before I get in trouble. Bye Danny."

"Bye." He was a person of very few words but it didn't bother you in the slightest. All you knew was you didn't want your dad to see him. You didn't know what was going on but you knew something wasn't right.

"Y/n?" You sprinted towards him. "Daddy!" You exclaimed. Crow's eyes went wide with relief. "Y/n." Your father pulled you close to him. "Don't you run off like that EVER again. You understand me?" You could see his infrequent temper in his eyes and you were quick to nod. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I-i-" Crow didn't bother to wait for a response from you before he continued speaking.

"People out here are bad, Y/n. They'd hurt you in a heartbeat." He cupped the sides of your face. "Do you know or did you even think about how upset your mother and I would be if you just disappeared?"

You felt your heart sink and your lips trembled. You knew there was a possibility they might do bad things but that didn't mean you didn't love them because of it. You felt so selfish and cruel. "I-i didn't think about it. I'm sorry daddy.." Your eyes watered as you looked down at the ground and he sighed. "Just don't do it again, got it?" He wiped one of your tears away. "Yes daddy. Y-you're not going to tell mommy, are you?"

Crow kissed your cheeks gently. "No, I won't tell her. I think this can be our little secret. What do you think?" You let out a giggle and Crow smiled. "That's my girl. Come on, let's get you back to the caravan before mom notices we're gone because you know how she gets."

You nodded and held your arms out to Crow who immediately scooped you up. You wrapped your tiny arms around his neck and nuzzled closely to him as he carried you away.

(Y/n?)

You smiled softly as you felt that little ping in your head.

(Yeah, Danny?)

(Am I ever going to see you again?)

You paused before responding.

(Maybe. I hope so because I like you Danny.)

(Me too, Y/n.)

You felt one of Crow's finger poking your shoulder and you pulled yourself out of your thoughts. "Yes, daddy?" You asked. "Did you feel someone steamy?" He whispered in your ear.

You thought about telling the truth but thought of Danny. You only just met him but something deep down told you, you couldn't let him get hurt. Maybe..just maybe, all rubes weren't so bad after all. "No, daddy," You lied.

"You're sure?" He pressed. "I'm sure." Crow sighed and patted your back. It would of been nice to have double the amount of steamheads but he supposed Violet would be enough to sustain them for a while. Besides, beggars couldn't be choosers and he trusted you enough to think you wouldn't lie to him. "Okay, honey.."

The next time you would see Danny Torrance after that fateful December day, would be 26 years later and by that time any bridge you had built with The True Knot would be burned.

#fanfiction #stephen king #the shining #rose the hat #the true knot #crow daddy #dan torrance #wendy torrance #x female reader #fem reader #imagine #fanfic #doctor sleep #dr sleep

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