#the mall episode is so fucking fun
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Once the foxes become more comfortable with each other, they begin to nag. Mostly little things, usually humorous things. They nag on Nicky for being too forward sometimes. They nag on Neil for his horrible life habits. They nag on Dan for her mother henning. They nag on Kevin for everything. It's fun, it's what families do. They all just pick on each other for fun.
It takes a little longer for them to feel comfortable nagging Andrew though, which, is understandable, but one of the first things they start picking on him for is his lack of communication in general. He NEVER talks. They just want him to participate sometimes.
Renee and Neil find this funny because Andrew talks A LOT just not around the foxes. He's not comfortable.
See, Andrew is fucking weird. Everyone knows this, but the foxes think he's weird in a “mysterious, murder you in your sleep, was totally the kid everyone thought was going to shoot up the school” kind of weird.
Andrew is not that kind of weird. He's a different breed entirely. He plans out how he'd survive the apocalypse, any of them. He is constantly fighting back the most wild intrusive thoughts. He is 24/7 existential crisis. His head is a wild fucking place.
But he is trying. Making progress. Trying to be more open and approachable, as Bee says. So he talks. Out Loud.
And the foxes hate him.
In the most monotonous voice ever
“Do you ever feel like your bones are dirty? Like, I could totally strip my meat suit and just give my ribs a good bleaching.”
“If that light fell out of the ceiling it would kill at least three of you and seriously injure the rest of us.”
“Nothing is stopping me from buying five ice cream flavors at once, but I'm learning self-control and Bee would be disappointed.”
“Currently having a manic episode. Should I A.) call Bee, tell her I'm not doing too great, and talk about my symptoms and how to best cope? B.) find the nearest mall and spend every dime I have in less than thirty minutes. Or C.) go apeshit and try to fight anyone and everyone who looks at me in a less-than-kind way. Children included.
*stage whisper* there's a secret fourth option but I'm saving it for later ;) (pronounced Semicolon left facing open parentheses. Yes he says this out loud)”
disappears for less than five minutes and comes back with three furrbies and a corndog, one that is obviously not from the mall's food court.
He's so fucking weird. Like, weirder than Neil, and it's awful (so good dude, the foxes eat it up)
And it's not the manic Andrew on meds. It's just Andrew. He's still Andrew. He's still quiet most of the time and he is still grumpy and apathetic, but he's also comfortable enoughto just blurt random shit out and have fun watching everyone figure out how to respond. He's found safety in his new family and he can openly be who he is without fear of judgment or rejection. He's happy in a way he's never felt nor ever thought he'd get to experience. He's just Andrew.
#hes just a fun little guy#all for the game#andrew minyard#neil josten#andreil#aaron minyard#kevin day#nicky hemmick#aftg#twinyards#dan wilds#allison reynolds#matt boyd#renee walker#Bee Dobson#betsy dobson#psu foxes#foxhole court#the foxes#the foxhole court#aftg headcanon#aftg au#my aftg
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2 batteries away
𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: if he can choose to spend time with someone else rather than you, daryl would do it. not because he hates you. he simply doesn't have any type of connection with you. and you are so young. but when rick demands that you join him on a scavenge hunt, he doesn't have much of a saying into it, and chooses to act unbothered. he also chooses to ignore the way you tease him the whole trip, your hips swaying just a bit more when walking than usual.
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: daryl dixon x female reader
𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: alexandria, pre-negan
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5k
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: big age gap, reader is half daryl's age
𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: voyeurism, masturbation, breath-play, subtle ddlg, toys, subtle dacryphilia
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: i am on season ten of twd (my first time watching) and it feels like this man's clothes keep getting tighter and tighter each episode and i am so here for it. also the way his arms magically always glisten in the sun as he subtly flexes when the camera is on him? give me a break I BEG
Also I miss Rick very much 🥺
*
"i have a special request. if i'm allowed to do that." a playful voice calls behind you.
you turn around, squinting. the sun is high up in the sky, and right in your eyes. you make out carol's short hair, and nod at her as a sign to keep speaking.
"i'm gonna need something i can make cookies or cakes with. hazelnut, chocolate, almonds,... you know. cake stuff." the woman smiles.
"i'm going out for ibuprofen and possibly viagra, not chocolate."
"viagra? for who?"
you chuckle under the cap rosita has given you, and try to subtly glance over at the man loading the car with weapons. he grunts, glaring at you and instantly shutting down the bullying party you wanted to start.
"i don't need no damn viagra." he slams the trunk door shut, and walks past you, intentionally pushing his shoulder into yours.
you fall a step back, holding in a laugh. carol has her hands on her hips, but her laugh isn't hidden. she knows daryl can't say anything to her.
"oh, come on. i know that you like to stay quiet and mysterious, but a little joking in hard times never hurt anybody." the woman defends you, scrunching her eyebrows at daryl.
"it's hurting me." he yells from the car, slamming the door shut.
"how am i supposed to survive this trip with him, ricky?" you complain, shoulders hanging with rising irritation with the situation.
"you survived a walker flooded prison with nothing but an axe before you found us on the other side, and you're telling me you can't survive a grumpy old man for a few hours?"
"thing is, i killed walkers. i cannot kill him. boo-hoo, the precious tracker. i also, when i see a footprint on the floor facing a certain way, know that someone is headed there. wild, right?"
rick pats your head, messing up the cap in the process just to tease you.
"bring me some shirts on the way back, i'm getting sick of these flannels. and get yourself something nice."
one would think that he gave you his credit card to buy him those shirts at the nearby mall. telling you to get yourself something nice, that idiot. the less fun truth is that you are headed towards a landfill two hours away from alexandria, in hopes of finding anything. glenn and morgan haven't had any luck for a few days now, so rick decided to change the route and the team. daryl and you, apparently, make a great one. that pain in the ass of a man.
"i'm leavin'. you stay and talk 'bout me all you wan'. i'm the one actually doin' something for this place."
"stuck up much? see," you open the car door, sitting inside annoyed, "with the viagra, you'd be a much more pleasant person to be around."
"enough with the damn viagra. fuck's the matter with you?"
"god, just start driving and drop me off somewhere in the middle of the road and i'll find my own shit from a different place. rick doesn't need to know."
"no," he simply responds, not sparing you a glance.
rick waves at you with a smile on his face, knowing damn well what he did putting the two of you together for such a long quest. he's so going to hear from you tonight. if you make it out alive while trying to kill daryl.
"so, what are you hoping to find? booze, peanut butter, new clothes? i'm starting to think you stapled those clothes to your body."
he says nothing, eyes focused on the road. you sigh. maybe you're the problem. you're poking him too much, knowing he has zero patience and doesn't very much like your company. you decide to keep quiet for the rest of the drive, only occasionally glancing over at him out of boredom.
you can't lie, he is an attractive man. you don't know why you're mean to him. he is gorgeous to you, your taste in older rugged men not failing you. you're surprised rick isn't the one you fell for. but next to daryl, he looks too... neat. daryl is just perfect. most of the time his deep raspy voice has you subconsciously rubbing and squeezing your thighs, led by a tingling sensation in your lower stomach. his clothes have recently gotten very tight on him, the buttons of his black shirt threatening to pop and give you a view of your lifetime. he has been working out a lot, you've seen him. fuck, not only have you seen him, you also stayed there, secretly snapping pictures with your polaroid your father had left you before disaster struck. you only had a few films left, yet no self control. something about seeing daryl all sweaty as he did push ups, grunting and almost moaning, thinking that nobody can see him, did things to you.
"wha'?" he asks, sensing your intense gaze.
you turn your head away, flushed. "nothin'."
"mmh."
he keeps it short and stern, and if your panties weren't drenched as your brain replayed the memory of his glistening arm muscles, you'd probably make a sassy remark. he raises an eyebrow, probably also wondering why you aren't being mean for so long now.
"shoes." he says after some time.
"what?" you ask, absent-mindedly staring into the tall trees and the walkers hidden among them.
"i'm hoping to find some shoes. it's gettin' hard to walk in these. i also hope i find sum more arrows."
you nod, surprised that he has actually graced you with an answer. you thought he'd say something like cigarettes or alcohol. you hated people who smoke. but daryl is an exception. he looks damn hot doing it.
"you?" he asks.
"well, new underwear would be nice. i ripped all my good panties, and let me tell you, these thongs are not apocalypse friendly."
"shit, girl, oversharing much?"
"what, you disgusted by female underwear?" you poke back, playfully.
"not female underwear. your underwear."
you're offended. you squint at him, and have to fight the urge to smack the back of his head.
"for your information, you don't look or smell all flowery and fresh yourself. i could use your hair to grease up carol's tray for her cakes. and your fingernails? they have their own ecosystem at this point."
and back to the bickering it is. he grunts again, furrowing his eyebrows. he secretly glances at his fingernails. indeed, they had a layer of dirt under them, but daryl thinks that he has bigger issues than some dirt that will get washed off anyway.
"oh, i also wish to find-"
"yeah, lost interest." the man interrupts. "also, for future conversations, you do not mention your... thongs... to people that are ol' enough to be your father."
ew.
ew.
ew.
he did not.
"what, is that how you see me? you could be my father?"
how utterly disappointing. there you were, sitting next to him, imagining him going feral between your legs, all while he is viewing you as his child. there goes your masturbating material for tonight.
"well the age fits the description."
"fuck you. seriously." you sigh, turning your body towards the window so you can fully ignore him.
arriving at the gates, you immediately notice a few things that you will be taking home. how foolish of you to not take a truck instead of the crusty old car.
"watch it." just as he says it, an arrow passes by your head, followed with a loud thud.
you don't have to look back to know that a walker had managed to sneak behind you, while you were foolish enough to stay swooning over his arms glistening in the sun with sweat.
"damn it, girl, i don' know what it is with you, but you gotta snap outta it. i can't keep saving ya ass."
"yes, dad." you reply, annoyed.
"hey." he calls, hand reaching to cup your jaw and turn your head towards him. "shut it before i make ya."
if it weren't for the feeling of his rough hand on your face and his raspy voice sending you a warning turning you on, you would've slapped him and told him not to touch you. but oh, you were going crazy inside. you found a new way to push his buttons, and you're going to have so much fun with it.
you walk behind him into the landfill, the smell of junk pinching your nose. daryl is also bothered by it, seeing his scrunched expression as he scanned the first piles of garbage.
"there." he points his crossbow a certain way.
you follow the invisible line, your eyes landing on what seemed to be several taped boxes. they could have three things inside: food, weapons, or traps. weird how nobody has discovered this place yet. or maybe they have, and they took all valuables already.
daryl doesn't wait for you. he makes his way towards the boxes, keeping his crossbow ready if something goes wrong. you, on the other hand, have tucked your knife safely and are walking around like there isn't walkers scratching at the fence, waiting to sink their teeth into your skull.
"dammit."
you hear rattling. you turn around, only to find the man kicking the boxes angrily. the can he has just thrown on the floor rolls up to your feet, and you crouch down to examine it. it is food, but expired. eating it would be like playing russian roulette.
"i mean, we can still... ya'know, take it with us. what happens happens."
"dixon, if i'm gonna die, i'm gonna die from a bullet or a bite. not from a rotten macaroni."
he raises an eyebrow at you, amused with your laid back attitude. he doesn't give you much attention, just silently walks next to you while scanning his side of the landfill.
"ah, sweet!" you cheer, running towards a pile.
"wha'?"
you almost trip over the broken wooden chairs, trying to get to a certain little box in the pile.
"the hell are ya doin'? we're losin' time!"
your eyes instinctively roll at his voice. you know he has nothing smart to say. finally reaching the box, you jump back on the floor, eagerly opening it. seeing that the item still has the foil sealed on it, you victoriously raise it in the air, cheering.
"you have made it a goal for yourself to die today, didn't ya?"
"nah, not anymore. i found something that will keep me occupied and will fuel my will to live a little longer."
you continue your way forward, leaving daryl to stare at the box you have discarded, trying to figure out what it is. but he has decided he has no time for your immaturity. he needs to ask rick to not ever put him with you on a hunt again. he's lost a lot of time already, and hasn't found a single thing to bring back.
"clothes." you point, the pile of fabric sitting on top of a garbage hill.
"you gonna go get 'em?"
"why would i go? you go."
"you wanted your... thongs... so, you go get that."
you scoff, setting the newly acquired item on the ground and slowly climbing up the hill.
"what is this, anyway?" his curiosity wins.
you sit on top of the pile, examining the clothes and discarding the ones with holes in them.your eyes dart to the man below you, and you chuckle when you see him crouch and take the item in his hand.
"it's a wand."
"wand?"
"yes."
"for?" he keeps pressing, his eyes never leaving the pink gadget.
"masturbating."
thud.
you look down, mortified. he better not break it.
"careful with that, what's the matter with you?!"
"you're fuckin' crazy, girl."
you silently mock him, sticking your tongue out at him and repeating his words with exaggerated face expressions. he really gets on your nerves. you gather the clothes you have found into a bed sheet, tying it up and putting it over your shoulder, then pick up the gadget from the floor. it seems alive, it didn't break. you only hope it works. you're young, inexperienced, surrounded by people that are either too young or too old for you. though, the old part never was a problem for you, it was for them.
feeling bored, you decide to keep poking him. he is just so grumpy, and silent. and inviting to irritate.
"so, dixon, you've never heard about one of these?" you wave the gadget in front of his face.
he spares you a glare, and continues walking.
"come on, we're talking. nobody's around. tell me, since all of this started, how many times have you even approached a girl? do you even mastu-"
"'m not in the mood to be picked on right now."
"i'm not picking on you. i promise. just trying to converse."
"you want to be useful? hold this. it's in my way." he throws his vest at you, now only wearing a tight black t-shirt.
you scowl at him, shoving his vest into your backpack.
"you're so fun to be around. i get why rick put us together."
he grunts, leaving you behind. rolling your eyes, you go down a different path, hoping to find something useful to all of alexandria and not just you. turning a few lefts, you find yourself standing in front of a little shed like structure. you bang on the door with your foot, and when hearing no growls, you bravely enter. it is dusty and dark, with a singular armchair and a few cupboards.
you open each one of them, happily shoving all the food you managed to find into your backpack, opening a protein bar along the way and chewing on the oats and dried fruits. you missed having those with yogurt for breakfast.
not only will carol be happy with the amount of nuts and flour you have found, rick will be proud of you. you might even ask for a reward when he sees the amount of canned tuna and jam you have found. you forgot what pancakes taste like.
after clearing the room, you peek out the window. daryl is in the distance, going through piles and kicking stuff out of his way, as if playing. you've collected way more than him, and the sun is at it's highest point. the shaded room seems like a perfect place to take a nap, or just rest your feet and ears from him.
you plop on the armchair like a star washed up on the shore. it feels so lonely lately. rick has michonne, carl has enid, rosita has her boytoys, even gabriel might be having more fun than you. as wrong as it was, you stay up listening to the noises coming across the street. they're loud, there's no way you could ignore them even if you wanted to. even rick had to step in and ask them to be quieter. but what is a problem to someone else is a solution for you. is it wrong to touch yourself while listening to someone else fucking? yes. but is it the only way that works for you? also yes.
you eye up the toy that peeks from the backpack, then glance out the window. daryl is busy with his crossbow, having found something that he could use on it.
fuck it.
you unbuckle your pants, not bothering to take off the panties. your fingers are quick to pop the batteries that come with the package in the gadget, and when the lid clicks, you admire it for a second. there it is, in all its glory. waiting to be abused every day by you, until you find a replacement. hopefully a softer and live one.
taking off the thin protective foil from the head, you position yourself on the armchair. you glance at the window again, carefully monitoring daryl. now, if you thought that eavesdropping and touching yourself was bad, what was this? watching daryl's fingers work on his crossbow, arms glistening in the sun, all while the pink toy softly vibrates on your pulsating clit.
you sigh at the newfound pleasure, rubbing the toy up and down your slit, while your eyes stay focused on the man unaware of your situation. he probably even forgot about you. or is thankful that you have left him alone. even better for you. you get to be a pervert without him ever knowing.
you arch your back, throwing your head on the backrest as you focus on chasing the release. it's been awhile, it won't take you long. your eyes open again, just enough to see if the man is still in his spot. your fingers change the vibration strength on the gadget, and instantly, you gasp. it is so intense, and so much, but you don't want it to stop. this thing is your new best friend, you better get used to it.
something else peeks out of the backpack, the leather catching your attention and giving you an idea. like an animal in heat, you grab the vest, burying your nose into it and spreading your legs further. daryl's scent takes over your senses, making you lose control and become a moaning mess. you are getting wetter by the second, the toy now slipping up and down your slit with ease and giving you maximum pleasure.
"fuck- daryl-" you can't help but gasp, enveloped in his manly scent and fabric.
your hips hopelessly rub against the toy, chasing and chasing after something that isn't quite getting closer, even though it feels like it.
"the hell?"
your eyes widen at the interruption. you drop the vest in your lap, hiding the crime scene from him. the man stands at the door, expression unreadable. yours is one of horrified mixed with desire, the way he stares down at you angrily sending arrows to your core.
"daryl- i- did you, uh, find anything?" you try to play it off, foolishly.
"yeah. i found an animal in heat it seems. couldn't wait for alexandria to do that shit?"
"I-"
"is that my vest?"
he slams the door shut, leaving you two in darkness. you gulp, moving the gadget from your core and letting your panties fall back in place.
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry-" you stutter, failing to put a sentence together while he intensely glares at you.
"ya ain't sorry." he grunts. "ya know why i despise being around your ass? you're inappropriate."
"no, look," you try, but he points a finger at your face, making you close your mouth.
your eyes burn, tears announcing their arrival.
"it's not like that-"
"shut up, dammit! i'm talkin' now! do you have any idea in how many uncomfortable situations you've put me? all those snarky dirty comments, all that flirting, now this? do you understand what that does to me?!"
he's yelling, frustrated and angry with you. but why are you getting wetter? why can't you think rationally? he is scolding you for being inappropriate, and you continue to be even more inappropriate by sexualising simple yelling. not your fault he looks damn hot while he does it, though.
"you're- you're half my age. i can't allow myself to play your games, no matter how tempting."
what?
"what will alexandria think? they already have no good opinion on me. engaging with someone half my age the way you want me to engage is- it is a horrible idea. i'll be out faster than i was in."
silence swallows the room. you still lay on the armchair, half naked with his vest covering you. he paces around the room, fingers running through his hair as he tries to gather his thoughts. you think whether it's time to finally say something, but you wait another moment. you need to gather your thoughts too.
tempting, he said. so he thought about it too. he saw past your jokes, and has been controlling himself so well. if only you knew what it would take to shatter that control, even for just a moment.
"since when do you care what other people think?" you start.
"since rick chose to trust me."
you hum, understanding.
"listen-"
"so you've been thinking about it." you're the one to interrupt now.
his head snaps up, looking at you with his eyebrow raised, as if asking you where you're going with that statement.
"there's nothing wrong with it. it's not like we're getting married or something."
"i'm older than you. way older than you."
"so?"
"i could be your father."
"if you say that word to me one more time i swear i will turn this landfill upside down to find another sex toy to shove up your asshole."
"why do you get so triggered by it?"
you roll your eyes, looking anywhere but at him. you press your thighs together, missing the warmth and buzzing from earlier. fun killer.
"because."
"why?"
"doesn't matter."
"tell me," he presses further.
you finally look at him, frustrated. "because i have fucking daddy issues and the thought of you being so much older than me turns me on. there."
you get up from the armchair, putting his vest on so that you can cover yourself. it almost reaches your knees, hiding your body from his gaze. he says nothing, and does nothing for a few moments. you have your back turned to him, hands resting on the counter of the half chipped kitchen cabinet. your head hangs low with embarrassment from the confession that just left your mouth.
tears stream down your cheeks, luckily hidden by your hair. but daryl doesn't miss the little sniff that comes your way. he sighs, then paces around the place a little more. when you don't hear him anymore, and finally face the fact that nothing will be the same with him anymore, you dare turn around. you almost gasp when you come face to face with him, his chest pressing against yours.
"wha- what are you-"
"shh..." he hushes you, eyes roaming your face.
you aren't sure what to do, or what he wants to do. if he tries to comfort you by giving you a hug, you will break down. and you will never face him again. you thought it was only sexual, but the way he looks at you and hushes you as you cry is awakening new emotions inside of you. ones that you will push down for now, because it is not the time.
"daryl, i'm sorry." you hiccup, genuinely feeling sorry for ruining whatever you had with him.
you feel his hands on the back of your thighs, and before you can react, he picks you up and places you on the counter. you instinctively spread your legs, letting him in closer.
"don't be. or else i might regret this."
you look at him doe eyed as he places his hand on your neck, gently holding you just beneath your jaw and softly pressing into the sides of it. he brings his head close to you, eyes half closed as he stares at your lips.
"daryl." you whisper, not sure of this anymore.
"just hush."
and with that, he presses his lips into yours, softly moving them with rhythm only known to the two of you. his other hand caresses your thigh, then creeps to your bottom and pulls you to the edge of the counter, enough to have your crotch press against his.
you can taste your tears while you kiss him, and he probably can too. he doesn't say anything, hell, you even feel him twitch between your legs. you grind on him, unable to control yourself. it is different than the wand. it's warm, and it responds back. it's better.
"hey," you call, slowly pulling away. "i don't want you to do this because you feel sorry for me or something like that. are you doing it because of that?"
"nah."
before you can continue bombarding him with questions and overthinking, he places his lips back on yours, this time a little rougher than before. you open your mouth, tongue eager to taste him properly. and fuck, he tastes good. you hated cigarettes and alcohol, but from his mouth, you adore it. you finally give in, arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him impossibly close. finally.
it doesn't take long for him to have you whining and grinding on him, wanting more than just kissing and thigh grabbing and occasional choking. you beg into his mouth, quietly at first, but with each kiss he gives you, you become louder and more demanding.
"touch me, please, please, please," you're desperate.
he smiles, for the first time in a while, and snakes his hands under your top. you hurriedly take off the vest and the top, to make it easier for him, but he pulls his vest back on your body. you are now wearing nothing but panties and the leather vest, making daryl incredibly impatient.
"ya just needed some attention, didn't ya?" he kisses your neck, his hand cupping your breast and thumb playing with the hard nub. "some sense fucked into ya to shut that mouth."
for someone that almost never talks, he is quite the talker now. and you can't complain, when his words have you clenching around nothing down there.
"needed someone older to take care of ya."
you moan at his words, spreading your legs further and raising your hips into his crotch. his hand reaches down to your panties, landing a light slap on your clothed clit as a warning. there's growling outside of the shed, but not enough to make you care. you'll get what you want, and no amount of walkers will stop you, even if it'll be your last.
daryl moves your panties aside, pulling away from you to see you. he hums, thumb coming to contact with your clit and circling it a few times. you shake under his touch, throwing your head back. it isn't something you haven't done before, but the touch is foreign, and different. his fingers are rough and big, an opposite of the soft flesh of your clit. he rubs your slit up and down, enough to smear your arousal so he can touch you better.
"fuck..." you trail, grabbing the edges of the counter and digging your nails into the hard surface.
"didn't find a boy your age to open you up?"
you shake your head. he hums again, fingers now circling your tight entrance.
"that's a shame, then. i'm gonna have to take my time with you."
"what? why?" you ask, disappointed.
"i'd split you in half, little one."
every word in that sentence sent arrows to your core. fuck, just how big is he?
"then, what are we doing?"
he turns around, leaving you yearning for his touch while he grabs your discarded toy from the armchair.
"you share toys?"
"sometimes."
"good."
he pulls himself out from his pants, and you are left with your jaw dropped. it fuels his confidence, the way you're staring at him as he rubs himself up and down. he isn't big. he's huge.
"daryl, how will that fit in me?" you ask, actually concerned.
"it'll take a little time. i'll train ya, and you'll take it like a good girl, the way i teach ya. but ya have to start listening to me and stop pissing me off."
nodding eagerly, you push your hips towards his hands, searching for his touch again.
he turns the gadget on, pressing it against your clit. you moan out loud, grinding on the buzzing toy and sliding with ease. you hear him grunt, and even a quiet moan. your eyes drop to the situation between your legs, and when you see him pressing his cock to the gadget, you swear you could squirt all over him. he rocks his hips with yours, pushing you up against the wall and grunting in your mouth, just like you moan into his. he doesn't break eye contact with you, instead getting off on it.
"i'm gonna cum, daryl." you whine, hands reaching into his hair to pull.
"give me a second."
you'd give him two if he wanted. you try your hardest to focus on not yet cumming, but the way he sweats and grunts for you doesn't make it easy.
"daryl-" you warn, moans becoming high pitched and inviting the walkers around the shed.
he sticks two fingers in your mouth, keeping you silent and helping himself get closer. you only needed to swirl your tongue around him a few time and take him all the way to his knuckles to have him moaning and cumming all over your stomach, rubbing the toy up and down in a sloppy pace.
you follow, pleasure washing over your body along with a thin layer of sweat, the sight of his seed on you making it more intense. you are dehydrated, hot and filthy. and you love it, because he is the same. you'd be like that every day, if it meant getting him the way you just had him.
"you didn't have to..." you say as he helps you dress up, wiping his seed from you with his bandana and discarding it.
"i wanted to. before, today, too."
"you sure?"
"yes."
you nod. he sees that you are not convinced, and he sighs. he pulls you in for a hug, resting his chin on the top of your head.
"i rarely regret my actions. trust me."
"yeah, well, i hope i'll get more of these actions you speak of."
he chuckles, planting a kiss on your forehead.
"you know, for someone who just came all over me, it's weird to see you so sentimental and comforting."
you don't even finish the sentence, he already playfully throws the bandana at you, rushing outside to hide his smile and to hide from your attempt at attacking.
"oh, you- you- you asshole!"
"right back at ya."
***
yippie! my first twd oneshot, idk how to feel about it lol. had this in the drafts for a while now. feel free to send feedback, doesn’t matter if it is good or bad 🩷
#twd#twd imagine#twd smut#twd daryl#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon smut#daryl x y/n#daryl dixion imagine#daryl x you#daryl x reader#daryl imagines#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x female reader#the walking dead daryl#the walking dead imagine#the walking dead smut
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Friendlocke Violet Gijinkas (Part 1/7)
Since the edited episodes are starting to come out, I figured that bc of that and the fact that I've been keeping this in the back burner for a loooong while now, might as well complete all my friendlocke violet gijinkas!! Some are gonna stay the same while others are gonna have slight/ complete redesigns, so please keep that in mind!
I plan on posting them in order by groups of three, so there's gonna be seven parts in total, all of which I'll be linking here when done vvv
(Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven)
!! These will contain personal headcanons I have for the cast, little fun facts, and also spoilers for Friendlocke Violet (for both the edited vids and the streams) !!
@saltydkart-reblogs
And that's pretty much it, designs under the cut!
LARK:
HUGE nerd. spent most of his time during the Uva Academy studying different kinds of pokemon as well as different fighting styles he can utilize once he is able to go out on his own journey with his very own trainer! Too bad that didn't really help in the long run...
His entire wardrobe consists of McDonald's related outfits. It's fucking insane. He even has some from long LONG ago that aren't available anywhere else.
The bubble pattern on his hair is able to move and change. Nobody knows how this is possible, not even Lark himself. All Lark knows is that his hair looks incredibly stylish!
Speaking of bubbles, he has the ability to blow bubbles whenever and wherever he pleases!
Often keeps himself extremely clean and gets upset if even a small speck of dirt gets on him, despite this he somehow smells like McDonald's food and axe body spray. Disgusting. He's so cool!
Even after death he still likes to hang around the other team members as a ghost, often getting to know the newer members as well as reuniting with the old ones. Sometimes they see him, sometimes they don't. It usually depends.
SARA:
Due to being a human in her past life, Sara is able to actually speak with the other humans in the pokemon world. However she usually doesn't due to it being seen as extremely weird and out of place. She did slip up once while talking in the presence of Arven, who thought it was the weed making him hear things.
Oinkologne are usually unable to do much with their hooves but Sara spent nights practicing how to knit with her new hooves and now she's able to do it flawlessly. I don't know how she managed to do that but go queen!
When first joining the team she'd often have the urge to eat her food related companions. It was a strange time for Sara, but she managed to overcome it.
When Peppy gets sick, she usually is the one who nurses him back to health. She was a human once so she often is able to figure out whatever sickness Peppy has and treat it properly. I suppose she's like a second mother to him.
The bag she carries with her is full of thread that she collected from various Tarountula she encountered on the journey, as well as little things she knits together in her spare time.
For the most part, Sara forgives... but NEVER forgets.
Did you guys know that Sara has a new YouTube channel? Check it out!
Pastey:
Before joining the team, Pastey was a nameless wanderer. He's been down every road in Paldea and knows almost the entire region (except for Area Zero) like the back of his hand.
He's gotten hurt pretty badly throughout the run (ie. the Mikey fight, the Atticus fight, and ESPECIALLY the final battle), however, he does not gain any (physical) scars from those fights. This is bc he's basically an axolotl, and axolotls are usually able to heal without scarring.
Pastey's "arms" are, to put it simply, mud prosthetics. More info here vvv
Pastey HAS met Mall Bingo once before the run, however, he doesn't recognize her. The only reason he does not recognize her is bc she wears glasses. (You know how people somehow aren't able to recognize Superman bc he wears glasses in his civilian attire even tho his face remains the same? It's basically like that lmao)
Unlike the lightbulbs he eats, the gasoline he drinks isn't really mandatory to his diet. Gasoline is like alcohol to him and he drinks it like an absolute CHAMP.
He goes fishing when there's nothing else to do or when he can't sleep at night. He doesn't do this bc he thinks it's fun or anything, only bc it's a "good time passer" or so he claims. Other members of the team will often sit with him and vent out anything that's troubling them at the moment, and Pastey is always there to listen to them.
And that's pretty much it. Next is Joe, Hannah Ü, and Mykyie!
#I am a firm believer that Sara can and will beat ass#No i do NOT plan on making gijinka designs for Chatbike and Phil sorry guys#just getting that out of the way i know how much yall love phil /j /lh#Anyways it feels so good to finally start on this like holy moly#also idk when the others will be done... HOWEVER...#The sketches for Joe Hannah and Mikey are already pretty much done I just gotta make em digital#so ideally they'll be out pretty soonish I'd say... I hope#but yeah if anyone has any questions abt them feel free to send them in my askbox and I'll be happy to answer them as best as i can!#<- No anons tho sorry yall#Also I need to be honest here Lark's outfit kinda does look atrocious and I couldve changed it... BUT...#I honestly thought it was WAY funnier if Lark's attire looked weird on purpose so I kept it like that lol#Anyways sorry for the word vomit here are the tags#friendlocke#friendlocke violet#saltydkdan#should my gijinkas have their own tag...? Sure why not#Violet Gijinka Au#cherris canvas
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Head Filled With Demons (Steddie X You)
A/N: Ok, a few things here. First I played fast and loose with demon mythology as well as a lot of the themes from the episode of Black Mirror this is based on. There are no spoilers for that episode so don't worry. I guess you could say this is an AU Steddie as in this world they are relatively well known demons in their mythology. I pulled some stuff from the show but...you'll see. No spoilers for either show here lol
I hope this is coherent and makes sense lol I had fun with it and I still have more chapters to go :) .
Warnings: Demon Steddie X Human fem reader; SMUT and ANGST with a dash of fluff. The smut has sprinkles of Dom Steddie (spanking, scolding, dirty talk), Mentions of a sick parent and death of another parent, small scene detailing domestic abuse (may be triggering), Steddie gives the reader visions so she sees bad things people in Hawkins do including the end of the world, there is a murder (very brief; blood is mentioned), y/n and Steddie mention a lot of themes regarding feeling stuck and unhappy.
Word Count: 6842
“HELLO!?”
You jump as the customer in front of you slams her items on the counter.
“I’ve been waiting here for five minutes for service! Are you going to ring me up or not?!”
“Yes, ma’am. I apologize.”
“Don’t apologize. Just do your fucking job.”, she grumbles as you begin scanning the things in front of you.
This will be the thousandth time TODAY you got caught daydreaming about being anywhere else but this stupid department store in the Hawkins mall. After graduating high school, you thought your options would be endless but once your father got sick, you knew you had to stay home to take care of him. You thought about applying to colleges nearby but everything was too expensive especially with the added medical and regular bills around the house, you needed to find employment fast.
After the mall was built, you knew there would be a plethora of available positions and found one with a good hourly wage. The problem was it was incredibly boring. Some days you felt like running out of the store and just flipping over the railing to the second floor. At least you might finally feel something. Add in customers like this one and it was a good mix of pain and annoyance to drive you through to the end of your shift.
“Are you done or what?!”
“Yes ma’am. Here’s your receipt and, please, have a great rest of your day.”, you say with the biggest fake smile you can muster.
“You need an attitude check, missy.” She spat before turning and walking out the store.
“Wow, you sure leave an impression.” Carol comes up behind you and leans against the counter, popping her gum obnoxiously. “Mr. Cline wants you to take those boxes to the basement.”
You glance where she’s pointing at the three boxes stalked against the wall that are taller than you both.
“My last break is coming up. Why can’t you do it?”
“Because he didn’t ask me to. He asked for you.”, she sneered. “Is there a problem?”
“No,”, you grinned in a thin line. “No problem.”
***
You huffed as you threw the boxes on to the ground, not even pretending to care if there was anything delicate within them. Leaning against the wall to catch your breath, you look around the illuminated but still extremely creepy basement.
Most of the stores in the mall kept a lot of their miscellaneous stock down here, segregated to different areas. Your department store usually kept overstocked clothing items like shoes and jackets until the ones upstairs were sold out or someone asked for something specific that was no longer kept on the shelf. The area was right next to the security guard’s desk but today he didn’t seem to be there.
You walked over to it, glancing at the papers strewn all over the place.
“Boo!”
“Jesus Christ, Paul!”, you exhale as you grip your chest. “Scared the crap out of me.”
“Good.”, he chuckles. “See anything interesting?” He laughs harder when you shake your head. “I’m actually glad I saw you. I found something on the floor here the other day I thought you’d think was cool.”
Paul digs into his desk drawer and produces a necklace with a gem tied to the end.
“Beautiful, huh? The stone looks kind of like a guitar pick, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, it does. Where did you find it?”
“Like I said, it was on the floor kind of near your stores cage. I’ve never seen you guys sell anything like that and I know you’re into that gems/crystal mumbo jumbo so… I thought I’d give it to you to take a look. At most, maybe, you could ask Richard if they got some new things in.”
“Uh, yeah, ok. Thank you, Paul. I’ll see you later, yeah?”
“Of course, hon. Tell your dad I said hello!”
You couldn’t stop staring at the little stone connected to the chain as you rode the elevator back up to the main part of the mall. It did look like a guitar pick which wasn’t an abnormal design in the 80s since almost every single metalhead you passed had something like it but this one was different. Usually those necklaces were cheap, the stone on this looked expensive and old. The gorgeous red color shimmered against the light and pierced your eyes in a way that had a small moan leave your lips at its beauty. There were symbols on either side you couldn’t quiet make out.
It was so odd. As your fingers ran over the material, you got this feeling in your chest, like this thing in your hands was meant for you…
The elevator dinged, startling you back into reality as you quickly hid the item in your pocket and headed back to the store to finish your shift.
##############
“Hey, Y/N.”
“Hey, dad. What are you doing moving around? You should be in bed.”
You father walked over to give you a hug as you greeted him in the kitchen.
“I know but I just wanted to wait for you. See how your day was.”
Sighing, you reach into the fridge to grab a snack before turning towards him so he could see your playful frustrated face. “Oh, you know. The regular; angry housewives and bitchy coworkers.”
He chuckles as he takes a seat at the dining table.
“Y/N, you know you don’t have to work so hard, right?”
“I know, dad. I just want to make sure you’re taken care of.”
“Sweetheart, I’m fine. I can handle…” His cough cuts him off and you quickly run to the cabinet to hand him his medicine. “Thank you.”
“No problem.”, you smile as you lean over to hug him again. “I’m fine. Trust me. I’m going to go munch on this junk and then crash.”
As you head towards your room, you hear his shaky exhale before taking another puff of his inhaler.
***
Sitting at your desk, you examine the necklace Paul gave you further and make notes on what you see. Tomorrow, you had the day off so when you went to the library you wanted to be able to have all the information you could.
-silver chain
-Red Jasper stone
-support for stress
-brings tranquility and wholeness (balance)
One side has a baseball style bat with thorns… Nails?
-Maybe meant for protection
Other side is a guitar from a long time ago.
This is definitely beautiful. I wonder where it came fr—
“Ow! Shit.”, you wince as you place your thumb in your mouth. While looking at the gem, the bottom sliced through your skin causing you to bleed on your notes and the stone. “Shit, shit, shit.”
You run to the bathroom to grab a tissue, wrapping it around your finger before wiping it along the piece of jewelry. The feeling of wind on your back caused you to hastily turn around. It felt like someone had tried to touch your hair making a shiver run down your spine.
Shaking away the jitters, you turned around, prepared to clean the blood off the paper when you noticed it was already gone and replaced with red, inked words.
“I could have sworn…”
“Hello, sweetheart.”
“Did I write that? I don’t think—” You’re not sure what made you do it. Maybe it’s because you were so exhausted or just seeing the word sweetheart triggered a warm, safe feeling in your belly. You scooted your pen below the sentence and responded with a nice, little…
“Hi.”
“How are you tonight, pretty girl?”
“Jesus Christ!” Your chair falls to the floor as you stand and back up towards your bed. Your hand covers your mouth as you watch more words appear on the paper.
“Y/N!? Are you ok?!”
“Um…yeah! Yeah, dad, I’m fine. Just… tripped.”
Slowing inching your way forward, you read the notes in front of you.
“Nice going, Ed.”
“Shit. It’s not my fault! I would be scared to if words magically appeared in front of me.”
“Oh my god. It’s finally happened. I’ve lost my mind. I’m going crazy.”
“You are NOT going crazy. I promise you, babe. What’s your name?”
“A sentient paper is asking me my name. Uh okay… I’m Y/N.”
“Aw, I like that. It’s pretty like you.”
“Y-y-you can see me? Right now?”
“Yes.”
You yelped when you felt a breeze again move past your arms.
“Wh-what’s your name?”
“Make you a deal. You give us permission to enter your realm and we’ll tell you our names.”
“Us?”
“Two sides, honey. Two sets of markings on the stone. Two…people.”
You could swear you hear chuckling in the air.
“Don’t mean to rush you, princess, but we kind of need you to make a choice. Yes or no?”
“I, uh, I don’t—”
“Come on, Y/N. Just say yes. It’s fine. Yes, yes, yes…”
Suddenly, the word “yes” begins to crowd the page repeatedly until it spills over on to your desk. Your breathing picks up as your heartrate increases. Is this really happening? Is this in my head? What’s the downside to this?
“YES!”
Everything in the room stills as the words in front of you disappear. Two words begin to slide across the paper as you lean forward to read them.
“Good girl.”
The light above you snaps off and you hear the sound of heavy breathing coming from your bed. Your eyes widen as you fall to the floor at the sight of two horned, demon looking figures sitting on your mattress. You cower in the corner covering your eyes as you begin muttering to yourself.
“This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t—”
“Oh, uh, I forgot humans don’t have people like us running around. Um, sweetheart, what form would make you more comfortable?”
When you don’t answer, they sigh as the bed squeaks when they stand. One creature shuffles beside you towards your door where your poster of Tom Cruise in Risky Business hangs. The other moves towards your picture frame on your dresser of you during your meet and greet with Motley Crue.
The sound of two sets of snapped fingers fill the room with a glowing red light and when you dare to sneak a peek from under your arm, you no longer see monster legs but a set of sneakers. A strong but soft hand touches your skin and your head shoots up as you push yourself as far back as you can.
“How’s this? Better?”
The demon in front of you had formed into an everyday man you may see come into your store every now and then. His brown hair fluffed up perfectly and you pushed down the notion to run your fingers through it. Instead of his original rough looking skin, he now donned a soft but muscular form hidden under your typical style polo and jeans. His beautiful brown eyes scanned you over with concern as he kneeled in front of you.
Your eyes flicked to the other one across the room who was now checking himself out in your full-length mirror. His attire was much more torn and rattier than the other ones. His jeans had holes in many different places and the Dio vest was fringing near the bottom. The leather jacket and boots made your tummy flutter. He looked like the kind of man you would have dated back in high school. His long, wavy hair moved quickly as he turned around to face you both, digging into his jacket pocket and producing a cigarette.
“Um, please don’t…my dad…”
He pauses as both boys exchange a look.
“Don’t worry. He can’t see me or inhale anything I smoke.” They watch as you slowly rise to your feet. “Oh shit. Manners. We made you deal. I’m Eddie. This is Steve.” He wiggles his fingers in a waving motion.
“Why is this happening now? Please. I can’t go crazy yet. My dad still needs me. I—”
“Again, not going crazy. See, you found our thing here.”, Steve gestures towards the necklace. “You called for us so here we are.”
“No, no, no. I accidently…I didn’t mean…I…”
“Look, we don’t make the rules. We just follow them. Blood. Stone. Permission. Demons. It’s not that complicated.”
Steve rolls his eyes at his friend’s crassness.
“D-D-Demons?”
“Yeah. It’s not that big a deal really.” Eddie draws a sharp intake of breath he turns towards to you. “I mean not entirely a big deal. Um, you just have to kill a few people or else the world will end but hey! Demons.”
Your eyes turn into saucers as you stumble to the bed. “I-I-I what now?”
“Three people to be exact.”
“Eddie, stop it. You’re scaring her. Y/N, honey…”, Steve kneels in front of you and places his hands on your thighs. Jesus, his palms are huge. “You do have to kill some people I’m afraid but you will be saving so many lives.”
“Holy hell.”, Eddie sighs in frustration, snapping his fingers.
The room around you is suddenly burning as sirens wale in the distance. Running to the window, you looked outside to see all of Hawkins in flames. You sunk to your knees as you covered your ears to muffle the screams of people outside. As quickly as it appeared, the images vanished and you were back in your regular room with two demons staring down at you.
“I know. It’s not pretty, is it?”
Your world went black as your eyes closed and your head hit the floor.
##########
When you shot up the next day, you clutched your chest as you quickly looked around finding only yourself.
“It was just a dream. Oh my god.”, you exhaled as you laid back down, laughing under your breath.
After a quick change of clothes, you grabbed your notes and the necklace to head to the library. You peaked into your dad’s room to make sure he was still ok, leaving him a note on the table to tell him where you were. As you entered the library, you immediately did some quick research that led you to a mythology section of the building. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the placement. Hawkins could be so backward with a lot of things. When you started doing more digging on stones and auras when your mom got sick, this was the same section you found yourself in. This town’s definition of myth was extremely broad.
You found the book you were looking for and slide down to the carpet to lean against the wall. You flipped through, stopping when you found the symbols that matched the ones on the gem. The baseball bat did have nails and represented the demon that referred to himself as Steve.
“Steven is a known demon of protection, protecting any soul that calls for him by any means necessary. He is known as one of the more violent demons killing many beings and monsters with his signature sword. In later millennia, it is believed that he was cast out of his realm for killing one of his own kind to protect another relatively violent demon, Edward.”
“Edward is one of many demons known for music. Throughout history it was reported that Edward played for souls who were suffering. His music lulled many unsuspecting creatures towards their demise, however. It’s also been noted that not only did he use this tactic for war but for lust. He was accused of killing the King’s daughter and was hunted across the realm. Steven found him first and they both went on the run. The King banished them both, casting out Edward as well.”
“They walked from realm to realm before finding a talisman that wasn’t what it appeared to be. The gem belonged to another being who forced them into a life of servitude, trapping them within its material unless set free by a soul who summons them. Any soul that calls for them must kill three individuals or bring about the end of the soul’s world.”
“See? We weren’t lying.”
“Jesus!”, you jumped out of your skin at the sound of Eddie’s voice.
Both men were now sitting on either side of you, arms circled around their knees.
“It’s not a bad gig. I mean at least we still get to move about and watch people die. I wish we had more of a hand in it but…”, he shrugs.
You bring up the book you’re holding just enough to hide your face as you turn slightly toward him.
“You’re real?”
“Yes, we are.”
“And this…this is accurate? The world will end?”
“That is correct.”, Steve responds.
“You have the wrong person for this. I-I can’t kill people.”
“Uh, technically, we didn’t choose you. You chose us. And WE can’t kill people. You can.”
“What? I—”
“Actually, we can kill people but only if they are hurting you.”
After getting up from the floor, you place the book back before powerwalking out the door.
You let out a small squeak when they appear in front of you. “Can you stop doing that?”
“Can you stop running so we can clear the air?”
Bypassing your usual route home, you cut through a forest area so no one would see you talking out loud at what would appear to be yourself.
“Clear the air. Ok, let’s clear the air. How do I know I can trust you? How do I know what you showed me was real?”
“Besides the fact that we LITERALLY showed you the future?”
“How do I know it’s not a trick? Like…killing three people would kick start the apocalypse instead of stopping it…”
“Well, we’re trapped in this realm to so…an end of this world would be the end of us.”, Steve sighs.
“You’re trapped here?”
“Actually, it’s either here or a blank realm we fancily titled Oblivion.”, Eddie chuckles.
“Oblivion?”
“Yup. Just a whole lot of nothingness except me and Ed here.”, he grins as he pats him on the back.
“I still don’t understand exactly why you’re stuck here. Why can’t you go back home?”
“Did you read the book or not?”
You scowl at him as you cross your arms. “Did you kill the king’s daughter?”
Eddie’s eyes narrowed as his sarcastic smile fell. “No, I didn’t.”
“Then why did you run?”
“That’s none of your fucking business.”
“That book said you lured people in not just to kill them but to fuck them. Is that why? Was she like a conquest or something? Is that what I am—”
His hand suddenly wrapped around your throat as he roughly pushed you back into a tree.
“You don’t know anything, little one, so shut your fucking mouth. Do I make myself clear?”
Your eyes widen as you nod and he tosses you to the side.
Steve kneels on his heels as you cough on the ground trying to catch your breath.
“You’re not a ‘conquest’, Y/N. Trust me, we prefer doing shit like this ourselves. It just…is what it is.”
When he reaches out to take your hand, you swat it away, rising to your feet and continuing your walk back home. You hear them murmuring behind you the entire way.
***
“Hey my angel. How was your day?”, your dad grins as you step into his room.
“It was good. I went to the library so…nothing too exciting.” He laughs along with you pausing to cough and gather more air. “I’m going to make dinner now, ok?”
You smile when he nods, gradually leaving the room completely ignoring both demons who are silently waiting for you. As you turn on the faucet to wash your hands, you feel warmth by your side and the sound of snapped fingers before the room around you turns completely dark. You’re no longer in the kitchen but a bedroom from a house when you were much younger. A voice you hadn’t heard in so long echoes through the hallway and you turn to see your mother grinning as she enters.
“Sweetheart, let her sleep.”
“She is sleeping, honey.”, your dad smiles tenderly as he cradles baby you in his arms. “I just can’t believe she’s finally here; you know? She’s going to have the best life. I don’t care what I have to do.”
“Ok, tiger. Calm down.” Your mother pats his back as he carefully lays you back down in your crib. “I understand what you mean though. She deserves the world.”
As she reaches down to caress your cheek, you hear another snap and your current reality comes back into view. You turn to Eddie as a tear falls from your eye.
“I’m sorry…for…snapping at you.”, he struggles as he tries to apologize. “I thought MAYBE this could be my way of making it up to you.”
“You can see the past and the future?”
His tongue presses into the inside of his cheek as he nods.
“May I have a moment alone please?”
With that they were gone and you allowed yourself to cry as you began making your dad’s meal.
#############
After checking in on everything, you grabbed your jacket and headed out the door.
“Where are you going?” You rolled your eyes at Steve’s question. “It’s not safe to walk around at night, ya know.”
“Well thankfully I have two demons looking out for me.”, you respond sarcastically.
They follow you as you walk around the town, trying to ignore them as they continue to verbally push you.
“Hawkins is just rife with people who need to leave this plane of existence. I mean that one there…”, Steve snaps his fingers and images fill your mind. “…he steals from his grandmother to buy drugs for himself.”
“This one…”, Eddie snaps. “She bullied a girl so hard she ended up having a break down and was hospitalized for a year.”
“STOP! Stop it.”, you seethe. “It hurts.”
“It hurts you? Imagine how their victims feel!”
“You don’t think you can kill people. Fine. Why not kill people who are causing harm?”
You sprint till you end up in the woods near your house, skidding to a stop when they appear in front of you again.
“I can’t ok!?”
“Look, we understand—”
“No, you don’t! You don’t understand! I’m a good person. I—”
“Miss? Are you okay?” Abruptly turning you find a man, standing a few feet from you with worried eyes. “Do you need help?”
“N-n-no. I’m alright.”
“What about him?”, Eddie gestures. “He’s definitely not a good guy.”
“No!”, you whisper.
“No? Are you sure, miss? My home isn’t too far. I can call a doctor or something.”
Fingers snap and images cloud your brain again.
“He hurts his wife any chance he gets.”, Steve’s voice fills your ears. “Last week she came home from work two minutes too late according to him and he beat her within an inch of her life.”
Something heavy filled your palm as Eddie continued on your other side. “Didn’t even take her to the hospital. She laid there crying for hours till she was finally able to crawl off the floor onto the couch. The next day he took care of her, apologizing.”
“Why do you make me act this way, honey? You know how bad my temper can be.”
“I…I know. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”
“I know, baby.”
Anger filled your heart as you swung your arm, trying to get him away from her. The visions left your eyes and as you looked down you saw the man now bleeding on the ground. Your hand holding the now red stained rock shook as you dropped it and ran.
***
As soon as you got back home, you headed straight to your bedroom, slamming the door behind you as you began to pace.
“Way to go, pretty girl!”, Eddie clapped from his sudden spot on your bed.
“One down, two to go.”, Steve followed.
You continued to move as they spoke, not hearing a word they said.
“Hey, hey. Come on now. You did amazing.” The metalhead looking boy reached to touch your hand but as soon as his fingers made contact with your skin, your hand flew out to smack him across the face.
“This is your fault. I didn’t want to do this! I just hurt someone.”
Eddie growled as he rose to his feet and slowly began stepping forward. “No. You didn’t hurt someone. You killed someone. Let’s get that distinction right. Congratulations, sweetheart, you’re one of us.” His chest bumped into yours knocking you back towards the wall, his hand pressing up against it near your head as he glared down at you.
“The only difference is we’ve killed way more people than you can even imagine in so many different ways. In our realm people were afraid of us. Remember that the next time you think about hitting me.” His face leans in so close that his breath hits your lips making you shiver. “I can hurt you and not even think twice.”
Your sudden giggle surprises him as he leans back to look at your face.
“No, no. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh but… you can’t hurt me. He won’t let you.”, you gesture towards Steve who sighs as he folds his arms. “He said he’s supposed to protect me from ANYONE who tries to hurt me, even you.” You tilted your head to the side as you continued. “And people from your realm must not have been that frightened by you if the banished you. Hell, you didn’t even fight back! You ran!”
“I like her.”, Steve smirks as the other man’s own eyes scan you from head to toe. “She kind of reminds me of—”
Eddie raises his palm to silence his friend. “Hit me again.”
“What? You just said…”
“I know what I said. Listen to what I’m saying now. Hit. Me. Again.”
“No.”
“Oh, come on, little one. I know you want to. Just like I know you want to fuck me. Well us.”
You laugh at him again but this time it comes out more shaky than earnest. “Pfft, someone has a big ego.”
“That’s not all we have that’s big.”
Pushing him away, you start to head for the door but it’s still being blocked by Steve.
“We are yours for the next 3 weeks. Unless you kill two other people pretty quickly…which, let’s face it, probably won’t happen.” He kicks off the wood with his foot stepping forward as you slowly back away from him. “How long has it been, honey, since anyone has made YOU feel good?”
Abruptly, you run into something hard thinking it’s the adjacent wall before Eddie’s arms wrap around your stomach. You should tell him to stop, tell him to leave you alone and not touch you but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel comfortable in his embrace.
“You took care of your mother when she was sick and now your father. You missed out on opportunities like school and leaving this fucking dreadful town. You work at a job you hate where people degrade you and make you feel worthless. Your last relationship ended because he cheated on you with your coworker yet you still pretend to not know and let her boss you around. Every night you come home and lay in that bed…feeling empty and alone…yet you don’t complain.”
Your head hangs as you try to control the tears from escaping. Fingers snap and you lean back against the other demon’s shoulder as you see the wife of the man you killed grinning as she sits on the floor of her new home cooing at a baby beside her. A man walks in with a wide smile and descends to the woman’s level kissing her lips as she giggles against them.
“You saved her life, Y/N. If she had stayed with her current husband, he would have killed her within 2 years. He’d go to trial but be out of jail within a year due to a good lawyer and an appeal.”, Steve whispers in a soothing voice. “Now, in three years, she meets this new person who makes her feel loved and respected. He never once lays a hand on her and she finally feels safe. She has two kids with him and dies at 80 a few months after he does.”
He snaps his fingers again and your mind clears for a moment before becoming foggy for a different reason as Steve leans down to kiss your forehead. Your entire body lights up at the feeling of his lips against your skin. Is that normal for demons or is it just him?
Soft kisses trail down your jaw till they attach to your neck making you hum in approval. The hands that had been resting on your tummy glide to your jeans and carefully unbutton them before sliding his fingers through the waistband of your panties. The cold metal of his rings startle you slightly as you push your lower half against his.
“It’s ok, sweetheart. I got you.”, Eddie whispers. Your arm loops around to cling to his neck as your fingers tangle in his hair. A tiny moan leaves your throat when his thick digits run through your folds. “You are so wet, pretty girl. Let us take care of you. Let us…” You head tilts against his shoulder again as two of his fingers plunge into your core. “…relieve some of this stress you’ve been carrying.”
Steve descended to his knees, tugging your pants and underwear with him, biting his lip at the sight of how his friend’s hand was glistening with your slick. You whined when Eddie removed his fingers only to whimper when it was replaced with the other demon’s exceptionally large tongue.
“Oh my God…”
“No, baby. Don’t say his name. Say ours.”
Your eyes roll back as his lips connect to your throat, sucking on your flesh as your fingers reach down to run through Steve’s hair. The world became hazy around you as his mouth wrapped around your clit while pressing and flicking his tongue in just the right way. Eddie carefully lifted off your shirt and removed your bra, throwing them to the side.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N. Do you know that?”, he asked as he rest his chin on your shoulder, looking down at your body as his palms roamed purposely avoiding your tits.
“Mmm—how-how many people have you said—fuck—said that to?”
“Steven, she’s still able to form sentences. I think you might be a little rusty, my friend.”, he chuckled.
“Oh…oh God…”, you mewled as he began to lick faster, sliding his fingers into your cunt as he pumped them into you matching his pace.
Eddie grabbed your chin roughly, turning you to face him. “What did I say? You moan our fucking names.”, he snarled through gritted teeth.
“Eddie, stop.”, Steve warned, replacing his tongue with his thumb. They glared at each other but something in his stare scared even you. “Not tonight.”
“I’m…I’m…” Your knees buckled and the demon behind you quickly gripped your body to keep you from hitting the floor as you came harder than you ever had before.
“There you go. Good girl. Good fucking girl.”
As you gradually came down from your high the demon in front you stood up and lightly kissed your lips. A fire ignited in you, through your soul, and straight to your core. Your arms needily wrapped around his neck as you pulled him closer, walking with him backwards to the bed till you both fell on to it.
You squeaked when your palm ran down his chest and you realized he was suddenly naked. Steve couldn’t help but laugh at your shock.
“Remember, honey, all of this…”, he gestures at his body. “…is for you. To make you more comfortable. Not that I hate it. I’m kind of growing attached to the hair.” Your eyes closed as he started grinding his cock through your dripping folds. “This part is still me though. Do you want to feel it? Do you want to feel what a demon’s dick can do?”
Nodding, you prepared yourself as you reached around to cling to his shoulders.
“Can you open your eyes for me? I want to watch those beautiful eyes as I stretch you open.”
As soon as you do as he asks, he grins, gripping the base of his cock and guiding it into your entrance. Just the tip of him had your eyebrows furrowing together. He was much bigger than anyone you had ever had and your walls were resisting his size. When he pushed in another inch, your eyes promptly closed again and his angry grumble immediately hit your ears.
“Y/N, what did I say?”
“I’m…I’m sorry. You’re just…you’re so…”
“Look at me.”, he growled and your eyes snap open. “Fuck, you feel so good. I’ve never had a being as tight as you before.” This time he pushes in a little more forcefully making you groan. “We’re going to fucking ruin you for anyone else. Fuck me.”
Your pussy fluttered at his statement and a sinister laugh echoed from them both.
“You like that, baby girl?” Steve’s forehead falls on yours as he finally bottoms out. “You like the sound of us ruining this little pussy? Say it.”, he commands in a firm tone as you nod.
“I want…want you…to…” He nods encouragingly, his nose grazing yours. “To…ruin my—mmm—my pussy.”
His hips roughly roll into yours and your jaw goes slack at the intense pleasure that courses through body.
“Yeah? Ok, pretty girl. We can do that for you.” Steve leans up on to his knees, lifting your left leg up to chest as his palm holds your other open wide against the mattress. His eyes watch his cock as he begins thrusting into you.
Another set of hands suddenly appear and you quickly turn to see Eddie laying by your side as his fingers lightly play with your erect nipples.
“You never answered my question. DO you know how beautiful you are?” He leans to trail kisses along your neck till his lips find your breast and you moan while he flicks against the bud as he closes his mouth around it. “I actually don’t say that to many beings. Personally, I think your kind is terrible.”
Your fingers thread through his hair as his teeth graze the sensitive area causing your hips to buck up as you moaned loudly.
“You have to be quiet, sweetheart. You may be the only one that can see us but everyone can hear you.” Eddie leaned over you like you weren’t even there, picking your panties up off the floor, and shoving them into your mouth.
Smirking, he placed his fingers against his lips in a shushing motion before sliding his palm between your legs and rubbing them against your clit. Steve slammed his hips into yours and the world melted away around you. You felt like you were floating in space and the only thing keeping you grounded was their hands on your body. White light blinded your vision as you screamed which was rapidly muffled more by Eddie’s hand.
“Atta girl, baby. Let go and just feel it.”
Your climax felt like it lasted hours as Steve slowed his pace, thrusting his cock as deep as he could while you came back down to earth. Suddenly, he grunted as you felt warmth coat your insides.
“That’s it, honey. Fuck…your pussy is just begging for more of my cum. You’re clinging to my dick so fucking tight.” He hovered over your twitching frame, pulling the gag out of your mouth as he continued to slowly pump his hips, allowing your quivering hole to milk him. “Such a good girl. A good, beautiful girl. I know, baby. I know. It feels so good, you want more. It’s Eddie’s turn next. He’ll take good care of you just like I did.”
You whimper when he pulls out, sad at the empty feeling before your roughly turned onto your stomach and aggressive hands lift your ass in the air. In your state of bliss, you can’t make out the words entirely but you hear both demons exchange a few words.
“Don’t hurt her…isn’t…like us…”
“Calm…not going to…”
Pushing up on your hands, you feel Eddie press his cock to your entrance before easily pushing himself in, your mouth falling open in a silent moan. He was thicker than his friend and even with you and Steve’s most recent orgasm leaking out of you, there was still resistance within your cunt.
“Y/N, fuck, sweetheart. Steven, how—mmm—how did you control yourself from not just fucking pounding her into the mattress?” Your pussy fluttered at the thought and he groaned as he leaned his chest down against your back. “Yeah? You like the sound of that? Steve thinks—mmm—we need to be gentle with you.” As his breath warmed your ear, he thrust his hips, pushing himself as far into you as your bodies would allow.
“Naw… you’ve been careful your whole life, haven’t you? You just want to…to let go and be fucked so hard—damn—you forget how unhappy you really are.”
When your only response was your moans, he pushed off your chest and held your hips as he thrust into you. Eddie’s fingers harshly kneaded the flesh of your ass before occasionally slapping it making you mewl. Once again, it was like time and matter evaporated except for you and them. With each slap and thrust, you felt like you could see into another world; a better one.
Your hair was abruptly tugged, yanking you to your knees as his ringed hand held you tightly. As your head tilted to the side, you noticed his eyes were closed as his face scrunched in pleasure. For a second, you forgot who they were and what they were here for. He seemed like any normal man just trying to make you feel good. Your lips moved towards him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek causing his eyes to fly open and look your way.
Eddie’s movements slowed as he scanned your face, trying to get a read on you. He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t like humans. He struggled to find any real good within them and quite frankly they reminded him of some of the lower level demons he fought back home. You seemed different than everyone else, you reminded him of her.
He shook the images from his head, pushing your upper half back down against the mattress where you found yourself face to face with Steve. His fingers delicately pushed your hair out of your face before he softly slid them down your skin, reaching under your body and between your legs to rub your clit.
“Cum again, Y/N. You can do it.” He grabs your panties and places it in your mouth again. “There you go, honey. Go ahead and scream. It’s ok.”
His palm firmly covers your mouth as you see that light once more, blinding you as you shriek and moan into your gag as your orgasm shutters through you.
“Fuck, baby. Yes.”, Eddie grunts as he holds your hips tighter, pumping his hips faster.
“Good girl. I know. I know, sweetie. You did so well. You deserved this. Can you say that for me?”, he asks as he tosses your underwear back to the floor.
“I…I deserve…this.”, you pant.
Your body jerks forward as Eddie gives you a few more rough thrusts and you feel his seed spill into you. Like his friend, he continues small pumps to make sure he fully empties into your pussy. Whimpering, he pulls out of your now aching core and collapses beside you. He twirls his fingers and a cigarette appears between them as he quickly lights it, blowing smoke towards the ceiling.
“Y/N, are you okay?”, Steve asks as he rolls you onto your back and caresses your cheek. You mumble something he can’t hear as your heavy eye lids close. Rolling over to face Eddie, you intertwine your fingers with the free hand that’s between you as you push your back into the other demon’s chest behind you. It startles them both as they exchange a glance.
Usually, the beings that summoned them wanted to get things over with as quickly as possible. When they were sexual with them, the summoner was a willing participant but was never intimate. They were demons who were going to leave them after they completed the task anyway so what was the point?
Your lips moved again and Eddie tossed his cigarette into a void before turning to face you, placing his palm on your side.
“Can you hear what she’s saying?”, Steve asked.
The other demon nods as he heavily sighs, pulling your blankets up over your waist.
“She said ‘thank you’.”
#steddie x reader#steddie fluff#steddie smut#steddie fanfiction#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson smut#eddie fanfic#eddie stranger things#steve fanfic#steve smut#steve stranger things#joe keery#joseph quinn#stranger things#fan fiction#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#steve fluff#demon!steddie#demon!Steve harrington#demon eddie munson#au fanfiction
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Hot take: S3 Dustin sucked just as bad as S3 Mike and Lucas.
I’ve always found it kinda odd when people paint Dustin as some perfect friend in S3. The entire reason that Dustin was with Steve the whole season was because he was mad at all his friends for supposedly “ditching” him the night before at Weathertop. That’s why he goes to Steve instead of them after hearing the Russian transmission. He lies to Steve and says that all his friends ditched him, which, of course, made Steve feel bad for him. He then tells Steve “They’re gonna regret it though, big time, when they don’t get to share in my glory”.
Like come on. Tell me that boy wasn’t being SO petty. He was so confident that he was gonna be an “American hero” after hearing that Russian transmission and yet he wasn’t gonna share an ounce of that glory with his friends because it was late and they were probably tired of listening to him try and call Suzie for literal hours. That’s no exaggeration. When Mike and El leave the rest of the group on the hill, Dustin looks at his watch and says “curfew at 4?”. By the time Will, Max, and Lucas finally leave, it’s dark out and Will even says “it’s late”. They spent all afternoon up there.
So at that point, the group had surprised Dustin when he got home, helped him lug all the radio parts up the hill, built the radio, and then sat for hours while Dustin tried to contact Suzie… but apparently that wasn’t enough for him? Dustin still said that they ditched him, which like yes Mike and El did, but that was unfair to say about the others.
Robin actually says something interesting in the last episode that always stuck out to me. It’s when they’re driving to weathertop and she says “Suzie must be pretty special, huh? I mean if you built this thing and lugged it all the way to the middle of nowhere just to talk to her?” Interesting choice of words considering we were explicitly shown how Dustin didn’t do all that by himself, and how his friends helped him both carry the parts to the top of the hill and assemble the thing. This makes the implication something like “Your friends must be really special, huh? If they helped you lug this thing all the way to the middle of nowhere and build it, just so you could talk to your girlfriend?”
They also weren’t even confident that Suzie even existed at that point, but they helped him anyways. They did it because they love him. So with all that being said, kinda fucked up of him to say what he did to Steve and paint them as terrible friends.
It’s even worse when you look at Will specifically. I’ve heard some people say that Dustin would have totally played DND with Will if he was with The Party the whole season instead of Steve. However, that’s simply not true. Will was the last to leave Dustin on the hill and before he left he asked if they could maybe play DND (“or something fun”) tomorrow. It was a direct invitation to hangout again tomorrow but all Dustin gave him back was a self pitying little “Yeah, maybe.”
He doesn’t hangout with Will the next day.
So Will spent all day doing what Dustin wanted to do, but just like with Mike and Lucas, he couldn’t get the same in return. Even with an invitation to hangout again tomorrow, Dustin still clumped Will in with his other friends who he says ditched him, which makes it kind of hypocritical that Dustin doesn’t show up for Will the next day.
So no, Dustin wouldn’t have played DND with Will if he was around cause he was actively and knowingly choosing not to do that by going to the mall to see Steve. He could have been playing DND with Will if he wanted to. The offer was on the table. He didn’t take it though. He wanted to be petty instead.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that Dustin was no better of a friend to Will in S3 than Lucas or Mike was. One could even argue that he was worse than them.
Obviously I have no real beef with these made-up children, but I just think some might have missed this part of the story cause Dustin is not the perfect angel character that some see him as 😅
#stranger things#byler#dustin henderson#will byers#No one was being their best self in S3#I think that was kinda the point#It was a transition season#Now we get to see how they better themselves
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so I wanna do a little trip/photo dump of my latest jeffy adventure. I may delete this who knows but for now, adventures below!
I tbh wasn't at my best during this trip, I had a bit of a not fun ocd episode while traveling and I do feel like I spent most of the trip trying to get back to my baseline okayness - so to my lovely friends and travel partners thanks for being awesome and treating me with kindness!! I really, really appreciated it 💖💖
okay now time for obnoxious trip slideshow haha
chiang rai was beautiful. we went to an insanely gorgeous garden cafe on the first day
on the second, we went to the white and blue temples
btw I love doing street photography so 2 of my favs from chiang rai:
and now...jeffy day
tbh by the time Jeff was onstage I'd been standing around since 2pm (he got on stage...at 10pm 😭) the things We Do for Barricade. I was soooo sweaty and frazzled by then
it was a very cool set up tho! it was a little music festival, lots of food/etc, and they lit up hot air balloons over our heads
we saw a few performers and slot machine!! who were right before jeff. finally got to see them live and ohmygod did they pop off!! at one point they were in front of us just tearing up the stage for ages, they threw guitar picks at us haha (I did not catch one lol)
and then jeff.....look we all know how that went down
but here's a screenshot of when he Looked at me the first time and i fucking realized if I can see them.....they can see me. no??? jfc i think i like super reacted, flailed backwards a bit I think. i prefer to not beobserved okay?? but anyway and that's why he came for my throat later i believe. demon
then look after jeff it was just jumpscare after jumpscare, bumping into his band member at midnight in our hotel lobby (all the musicians and sound crew were having a big drinking party on the steps of the hotel. jeff wasn't there tho) and then the next morning bumping into rasika checking out etc etc
okay some of my fits on the trip! day 1, then jeffy day and the next travel day, which ended up being the Day we followed Jeff and his team around at the airport, unintentionally
each of these in front of the cupboard nowhere near as good as jeffs lol
some of the treasures i got at the show! these are mainly bread's amazing creations. @patpran thank you so much i adore my jeffy cat stickers ;.;
also (made by another fan) the jeffy pop socket i'm screaming,,,,,should i put it on my phone..
okay now bkk!! i got a few street shots cause i love doing that
then witnessed jeff on the bts and found some cat pants
and went plus size shopping at platinum mall. i knew about the names before hand but oh my god im laughing
and then!!! bang sue junction, which is mile and apo's fav hang out spot for vintage shopping. sadly we didn't bump into them. but it was such an awesome place to explore
we also wrote a lil letter each and wrapped up some presents to send to jeff. i would like to say it takes 2+ ppl to puzzle out a thailand post box and how to put it together (and there was only 2 of us at that point lol ;.;)
okay i was gonna add more but that's heaps, i think. despite my brain being frazzled 24/7 on this trip it was a good one. thank you so much to @patpran who showed me all the cool places and was a very lovely travel partner!!! you were awesome!!!
i'm honestly so grateful i got to go, and have these experiences ahhhhh, i'm gonna treasure it (sorry post trip emo-ness) anyway i gotta get back to work now but, if you've read this far, you're a star haha <3
#oh my god sorry this got long#personal#might delete later#but ahhh what a trip#i'm so emo now after writing this up!!!#and feel so lucky that i've gotten to go
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Sturniolo Q&A 💜💙💛
1. how long have you been watching them?
- i obviously saw all the iconic(k) clips on tiktok and was like “omfg who are these guys” in like late 2021, but i didn’t start watching them like repeatedly until mid 2022. probs around june.
2. are you a matt, nick, or chris girl/boy?
- i am a very proud matt girl :)
3. what’s your favorite car video?
- definitely either “the magic 8 ball told us to make this” or “Don’t be a try hard at laser tag !”
4. what’s your favorite vlog?
- i love love loveeee the yoga challenge one they did with alahna
5. have you ever met them?
- no, i have not. and i don’t know if ill ever want to tbh. too intimidating lol
6. did you go to any tours?
- nope. i tried to go see them in nashville but the tickets sold out in less than 5 minutes LMAO
7. are you an editor/artist?
- no, but i did just start writing a fic…
8. who’s your favorite friend of theirs?
- obviously nate bc look at him. no im kidding but he’s very funny and they’ve all been friends for ages so that’s sweet. BUT i also loveeee larray. like they just all seem to have a lot of fun together, and i really admire the genuineness of their content together.
9. who do you relate to the most?
- depends. i have almost crippling social anxiety. not so much that i can’t talk to a group of people or do a class presentation (i actually love public speaking) but more so im constantly afraid of being harmed or being stalked in public (ex. i hate movie theaters and malls). so i guess in a mental stand point, i relate mostly to matt. however, i am a very out-going talkative person. i don’t give a FUCK what other people think. i also listen to hella trap music. therefore, i find that i most like chris in those senses. but as a whole, im probs most similar to chris lol.
10. what’s your rituals for watching their videos?
- i have no idea tbh. i just watch them whenever i have free time !
11. what’s your favorite podcast episode?
- i love the one they did with justin for the christmas special but i also really love the injury one !
12. have you ever been noticed?
- not that i know of haha
13. do you own any merch?
- yes! i have a green LETS TRIP shirt and a white sturniolo shirt.
14. do you own any fresh love?
- yes! i have the brown hoodie and the pink shirt !
15. what’s your favorite nick quote?
the whole fucking squeal he did about pancakes and shit. that video still cracks me up to this day.
16. what’s your favorite matt quote?
- “if you’re clumsy, you’re falling into that”
17. “what’s your favorite chris quote?”
- “NOOOOOOO. we have a hibachi spoon”
18. do you play fortnite?
- lol no. i’ve never even attempted
19. do you listen to trilly, elmer, or skies?
- i FUCKING love skies. but i only know a few of tril’s songs. and i only know “miss me” by elmer lolz
20. what do you love most about them?
- they’re real as fuck.
THATS IT LOVE YOU ALL BYEEEE
xoxo - blue :)
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo x reader#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#blue speaks 💙
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NOT THE ENGAGEMENT RING STILL BEING IN THE BIRD NEST LMAO
loving this morning routine so far. we rarely get to see into characters lives outside the belcher family (obviously i mean. its their show) but this morning routine feels both painfully awkward and Very real in a way that we don't see with the belcher family in the same way?? their house is always so chaotic and LOUD with so many people and siblings but this is just rudy and his dad. its not exactly missing the love and warmth but its very intentionally different vibes
god rudy's dad is trying so hard :( compared to the natural and fun interactions of the belcher family this is just.... a very stark contrast with rudy's dad trying and failing to relate to rudy on his level
RUDY THINKS HIS DAD IS EMBARASSING OHHH :(
assuming that this Fancy dinner is rudy and his parents getting together every weekend (with tonights dinner being with his mom's new boyfriend) and CLEARLY does not enjoy it and finds it awkward its kinda funny that they keep doing them. like his parents probably don't like each other very much AND rudy hates the dinners and its awkward and uncomfortable like do we really need to keep doing this. is it worth it. are they trying to stay connected like a normal family while also very clearly disliking each other?? who knows im excited to find out
like "you've always been a trooper" IF THE DINNER ISNT FOR RUDY THEN WHO IS IT FOR LMAO???
and we all love you so much 😭😭
love seeing the belcher family in a non-focused setting like you can tell this episode is about rudy so it makes seeing the belcher family feel almost like?? like WE ARE rudy seeing a friend at the mall rather than them being the main characters. very interesting creative choice
gene is such a sweetie in this scene <3 him walking on the fountain edge
ROUDATHAN
gene got a B- special dinner..... god im sorry his family loves and supports him so much its so sweet :( like gene NEVER questions that he's adored by his family and they think he's amazing. they celebrate all his accomplishments no matter how small uhfghh i need a minute
its his day dad. tina is such a good big sister 10/10 love their relationship
"rudy you should come over for dinner!!! i think its gonna be one of the WORST foods we've ever tried" the belchers are so funny and sweet in this episode bcuz the conflict isn't really about Them and its very enjoyable. like they're just hanging out & having fun
our monthly We're Still A Family dinner with your mom. like SURELY there is a better way
MY MOMS NEW FRIEND ALLEN HES OKAYY 😭😭🤘🎶🎵
ohhh rudy's dad passing his own insecurities onto rudy :( this is so fucked bcuz he doesn't MEAN to do this but he ends up passing on his anxiety and neurotic tendencies onto his son and he doesn't build up his confidence like he should vs the belcher family where they hype each other up to an almost dangerous degree and they're all so happy and confident..... the parallels they are paralleling And it makes me upset. painfully real dysfunctional family relationship
you're the guest of honor....... :( BUT NOT A GUEST BECAUSE YOURE OUR CHILD :(
how on EARTH does this boy end up at the belcher's house for dinner 😭😭
I WAS BORN IN 2002 okay this confirms that louise was definitely not a 2002 baby unlike when the show started because that is a Grown woman and louise is nine. we have figured out some kind of timeline here and for this season louise was canonically born in uhh 2014 OH GOD DHES SO LITTLE. what the fuck gene was a 2012 baby
you know who would liven this party right up?? Louise belcher
BABBBYYY RUDY COMPILATION WITH HIS PARENTS WAHH i dont care that its awkward because he is so small. from this compilation i would guess his parents got divorced when he was around six or seven
rudy using his magic tricks to help the awkwardness of the dinners when that was never his responsibility as their kid... wahh
OHH NO RUDY 😭 this poor boy is having a panic attack somebody needs to save him. but honestly he's the sweetest kid im sure nobody is angry at a nine year old
RUDY IS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND FULLY RUNS AWAY TO THE BELCHER HOUSEHOLD LMAO ZERO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY no plan just vibes. louise is his safe space which is not something i want to think about right now because its too much for my tiny heart. god
(fanfic where rudy has a panic attack and louise helps him through it will be incoming shortly)
rudy crying is going to make ME cry 😭😭
okay gene kissing the ketchup bottles goodnight is very funny that got me to laugh. what is bro DOING
rudy's parents about to file a missing person's report and he is FULLY commiting to the disgusting terrible lasanga dinner good for him!!!! BECAUSE ITS WITH A HAPPY FAMILY THAT FEELS SO COMFY AND SAFE GIVE ME A SECOND.... JUST GIVE ME A SECOND
gene saying he loves rudy. great moment
"rudy are you sure your parents know where you are" is the CORRECT reaction thank you linda lol This boy is very clearly not somewhere that his parents know about and she's being a responsible adult. obviously she would but its just nice that they're treating this situation somewhat seriously. good mama <3
EVERY GENE LINE IN THIS EPISODE MAKES ME LAUGH
rudy in this episode is gonna make me CRY he's so anxious and sensitive and they all love him so much god. like linda and bob are such good parents in this episode and louise is a great friend too. he's so so loved by everybody around him not just his family. and of course he is crying again
LOUISE AND RUDY ARE THE SWEETEST SHES SUCH A GOOD FRIEND SHE CARES ABOUT HIM SOO MUCH her staying for dinner so he feels less awkward and uncomfortable because he always feels safe with her :( what the hell
rudy and louise dinner date!!!!
SWEET GIRL WE GOT THERE SHE IS SOMETIMES ISNT SHE louise is literally the best i dont care if people think she's overrated or too many episodes focus on her. she's amazing and so incredibly sweet and she loves rudy more than anything
ngl when louise smiles and nodded i did think she and rudy were going to hold hands for some reason. roudise week got to me
LARRY MURPHY AS PAUL i knew they would find a way to squeeze him into the episode because he has one of the main credits he has to be in every episode. which is kinda funny tbh Legally contracted to make an appearance as at least one character per episode doesn't need to be teddy
OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE I DIDNT EXPECT THIS TO BE SO LONG this episode was adorable and very stylistically different in a good way?? i loved having a small peak into rudy's home life and his relationship with his parents. loved seeing rudy's mom she seems really sweet and supportive of him :) louise was the BEST in this episode and gene was hilarious as always. bob and linda are great parents and brian huskey did great considering he was voicing about 80% of this episode completely by himself. GREAT episode and a strong start to the season along with episode one!
#LOUISE AND RUDY WERE SOO CUTE AT THE END IM GONNA CRY#i really do want to write a fanfic about them now this episode is one of the best roudise episodes i think#maybe not THE best but definitely top 3#txt#bob's burgers#episode review
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The Deserter
How is this the first time anyone's had the bright idea to try disguises?
Sokka's sarcasm coming dangerously close to breaking the fourth wall here. Some pretty strong lampshading.
(edit: going through this just before posting, I realised this line is pretty much a sarcastic thesis statement for this episode, maybe this season.)
This is too cute. This episode both Appa and Momo understand english.
Saviour of the World, everybody.
There must have been a Gang goes to the Mall episode I missed where Sokka and Katara bought their stealth cloaks.
Say what you like about the Fire Nation, they do have gorgeous architecture.
Katara perfecting non-verbal burns with the mask-switching.
Flaming Fire Flakes have the honour of filling this episode's Beat Up Sokka quota.
This is actually less violent than the actual Punch and Judy. Poor puppeteer has to sew a new earth kingdom soldier for every performance.
Dovebending!
I know Aang is characterised as fun and fun-loving, but maybe don't take off your disguise in the middle of a group of your enemies? Is this going to devolve into an "Aang is stupid" episode? Because we just did that last episode.
And now he's sulking because he missed the chance to be outed in front of the whole crowd? Aang has no brain this episode.
Of course the fire nation would have fireworks. I find it interesting that the more artistic methods of bending have survived a century of war. Unless there's a combat style where soldiers bend dragons at the enemy, you'd think that bending for fun and entertainment would have been condemned by now as useless to the advancement of the fire nation.
Raise your hand if you didn't see this coming.
I have very little patience for Idiot Aang, especially when his idiocy revolves around needing to be the centre of attention.
Appa just murdered those guys.
How did Sokka figure out that Chey was a fire nation soldier just from looking at his face? Everyone in this world so far is borderline faceblind, what with the number of times that our main three have passed unnoticed. And yet Sokka gets one look at this Chey guy and clocks him as fire nation? How? Chey doesn't have a different accent, or a giant F on his face, or even a helpful identifying Zuko scar.
"Some say he's mad. But he's not. He's enlightened." Regardless of what he is, this is not how you ought to sell him.
Why doesn't anyone ever listen to Sokka? He's always right when it counts: they did get clocked at the fire nation festival, the fortune teller was a crook, Jet was untrustworthy, Katara was going to get them in trouble with the pirates. Hasn't anyone in-universe noticed the pattern yet?
So Chey is a cross between a fanboy and that one awkward kid that no one likes, and Aang is this episode's idiot. But who are the hat guys? Are they like the third through ninth deserters from the fire nation? They don't seem anything like the people at the festival, so they aren't the locals.
Zhao the asshole is back. An idiot and an asshole this episode. I suspect this episode won't be a favourite.
Ever so fed up with having your good advice ignored that you involuntarily plank?
I have no idea if this deserter guy (NOT going to try to spell that one phonetically) actually has the ability to tell what disciplines someone knows by the way they walk, or if that's Chey's fanboyish tendencies coming out. But if it's true, being able to tell someone's abilities and skill level at a glance would be an incredible advantage in a fight. No wonder they promoted the guy a bunch.
And so rather than do the sensible thing as Sokka suggests and leave, Aang leans even harder into his idiot tendencies. Sigh. You should absolutely go talk to the firebender who just told you to fuck off by proxy. What could go wrong?
I'm grasping about 40% of this fish speech. On the other hand, I'm getting the discipline speech 100%. And agreeing with it too. This episode's whole opening vignette was about how Aang lacks self-discipline. Setting aside the fact that going to the festival was a bad idea in the first place, they could have attended unnoticed if Aang had mastery over himself. This deserter's got Aang clocked.
Do you get the feeling that this deserter's negative experiences with fire are perhaps colouring his view a little? He does make a good point though: mess up with airbending and someone has a bad hair day. Mess up with waterbending and someone gets wet. Mess up with earthbending and someone gets squished. Mess up with firebending and someone gets roasted. There's a bit of a jump in the seriousness of the mistakes between air/water and earth/fire. And we already saw Aang mis-bend water and send all their supplies down the river, so it's not like the deserter is wrong to think Aang's not ready. Plus, of all the elements, only fire does its own thing when you're not looking. I bet the very first thing firebenders learn is not how to make fire, but how to control/snuff out an external fire.
Love this visual. Roku's statement is true, which once again calls into question how much of Aang is a unique person as opposed to a conglomeration of previous avatars. But the deserter's right here - Aang doesn't have the self-discipline to learn fire right now. I don't know if learning water and earth first would get him that discipline, but it would certainly buy him a few more months of maturing.
If I had to be an army deserter on the run from an evil imperial power, this is certainly the place I'd choose to hide. So pretty.
Sokka isn't an oaf!
This is going to go so badly. This deserter guy is 100% right to start with the basics, but Aang is the opposite of a willing student. He's happy to learn, if they do it his way, which is jump straight to flashy fire and burn everybody's eyebrows off. Not to say the deserter is a good teacher - he's certainly not suited to Aang. But people strong armed by spirits generally don't bring their A game.
It seems to me like bending fire is almost more about leashing fire than using it.
Wasting his time? Didn't it take Aang his whole life so far to master airbending? And he thinks spending a couple of hours on the basics of firebending is wasting his time?
Dear Avatar writers: My comment about Aang burning everybody's eyebrows off was supposed to be facetious. Could you dial down Aang's idiocy this episode just a little bit please? Feeling really sorry for the deserter here.
This deserter's got sighing down pat. I get the impression that he's had decades of dealing with hotheaded idiot students.
Zhao was his student? That's a neat way of doing combined backstory and parallel story in the present. I thought it was a flashback but it's actually what's currently going on. Neat.
"Learn restraint or risk destroying everything you love." Good lesson even outside of a bending context.
This golden forest throughout this episode is absolutely gorgeous. Although it seems to be stuck in eternal sunset (not complaining).
I was right! Firebending lesson number one isn't making fire, it's leashing fire.
"But I'm ready to do so much more" Hell no you aren't. The fact that you say that with a straight face after A DAY of lessons proves you aren't.
You mean you failed the lesson. Congrats.
Hey look. Exactly what the deserter said would happen is happening. And so an innocent pays the price for Aang's hubris. Ain't that always the way?
Hell yeah Sokka. You tell him.
Here's a good lesson for Aang to learn, unfortunately at the expense of Katara's arms: sometimes sorry doesn't cut it. Since Katara's arms are injured, is she currently unable to bend? With the amount that her self-image is built around her bending, this is going to double suck.
Katara can auto-bend?!? Instinctively? That was lucky.
Hey deserter guy: while your insight into waterbending healing and the firebending mindset is certainly valuable to Katara and the audience, maybe a recently-burned teenage girl is not the best target for your talk therapy?
Master indeed. That's got to be the single most impressive firebending move yet. Look at that. That's one guy!
See Aang? If only you squatted a little lower, you'd be able to pull this off.
Aang still hasn't learned his lesson. Impulsively firebending should have taught him to be less impulsive. Instead it teaches him to make dramatic blanket prohibitions on firebending and throw himself head first at Zhao with no plan.
If Zhao is an admiral, and the deserter's former student, does that settle Chey's admiral/general debate on the side of admiral? Or do fire nation military branches do cross training?
Now it's Zhao having the hubris problems. Does he really think that 8 guys, only 4 (?) of whom are benders, can take down Mr. Firewall?
The way Zhao's voice actor delivers the line "until I got bored" very nearly redeemed his whole character. Suddenly not just an asshole, but a human too. Given how abrasive the deserter is, I'm almost sympathetic.
Who wins in the fight of Aang's hubris v. Zhao's hubris?
This is a very cool move. It seems that Aang only has hubris problems when he's trying to bend fire - he's back to his usual self when he bends air. Can the element have that much of an effect on the mindset?
I'm really liking this delightfully one-sided fight. Aang really redeeming himself for his early-episode idiocy.
This should not work on a well-adjusted adult.
"I don't know why, but I thought you'd be better than Zuko." Tragically, Aang has no idea how savage that line is.
"Jeong Jeong said you had no restraint" says the kid who, up until this scene demanded it, had no restraint. A stinger of a line that is undermined in context.
Literally.
How many outfits did Aang pack? Because air nomad tailors aren't exactly thick in the air these days.
Was that a whole camp of deserters? And they've all gone into hiding?
Getting the first fishhook out with a second fishhook: when logic goes too far.
Final Thoughts
Zhao really screwed up this time. He and his men are going to have to walk back to their ship.
Roku really screwed up this time. Katara wouldn't have been burned if Roku didn't intimidate the deserter into teaching Aang.
Chey really screwed up this time. If he hadn't brought Aang back to his camp, he'd still have a settlement to live in.
Aang really screwed up this time. If he hadn't insisted on both attending the festival and outing himself at it, he never would have led Zhao to the deserters' camp.
Just a thought: maybe spiritually bullying a scarred veteran into teaching combat basics is a bad idea?
I really want to like this episode. Beautiful setting. What Sokka and Katara stuff there is, is great. Appa and Momo even get a funny joke, and Appa gets to murder some people. And most importantly, the deserter is RIGHT. THE WHOLE TIME. And he was right to insist on not teaching Aang. Roku really blew it. Everything the deserter knew would happen if he taught Aang did happen, because he knows firebending, and he knows how students like Aang approach it (and let's be honest - he's not the right person to teach Aang anything). Now Aang's thrown up a mental block around firebending that will have to be surmounted no matter what he says he will or won't do. At least Katara uncovered a new skill.
I have not seen Apocalypse Now, but this is Apocalypse Now, right? In which case I know why Aang doesn't work for me this episode: he's in the wrong genre. This episode is actually quite serious. Chey may call the deserter enlightened, but Chey's an idiot. What the deserter is, is broken. He's another victim of the fire nation. He's also easily the most skilled firebender we've seen so far, with deep insight into at least part of the nature of his element (I say part because the episode itself suggests that his view is overly negative by having him point out the sun as a source of fire, which isn't inherently destructive - it just is). The deserter is a person you absolutely should listen to, saying things Aang absolutely should hear, albeit he says them rather harshly. But Aang is in peak kid's cartoon mode this episode, and the deserter (and most other characters actually) are in Vietnam-era War is Hell movie mode. It makes Aang jarring throughout, to the point that I was mad at him for most of the episode.
That being said, Aang almost (almost) completely redeemed himself in that last brilliant fight. 'Hoisted by his own petard' has got to be one of my top three favourite narrative devices, and that Zuko dig was the icing on the cake. As I said above, it's a goddamn tragedy that Aang doesn't have the necessary context to know how much that dig hit home. Then again, Sokka and Katara would probably appreciate it more than Aang. I feel like they're more appreciative of petty vindictiveness.
Speaking of Sokka, great to see the continuity from last episode's lesson: ride or die for Aang until it's family on the line. Sokka will gladly take Aang to the north pole until Aang steps between him and his father, at which point he's on his own. Sokka will gladly take Aang to the north pole until he hurts Katara, at which point Sokka will rub his face in the dirt. And, honestly? At that point of the episode, Aang's flaky hubristic 12 year old idiot side was so annoying to me that I was rooting for Sokka in that fight.
We know Aang's a bit of a softie, but someone who didn't know that just saw Sokka face down the Avatar for the sake of his sister. Takes courage.
It was also nice to see Sokka and Katara more united than usual in their opinions. While Katara was willing to give things a chance, neither of them was all that enthusiastic about anything that happened this episode. Usually Katara blindly follows Aang and blindly opposes her brother, so it was nice to see her more (not fully) aligned with both sense and Sokka.
It's not really touched on, but Aang really screwed things up for the various deserters. They weren't exactly comfortable where they were, but they seemed settled, safe, and provided for. Now they're presumably on the run. Oops.
If I could excise Aang from all but the last fight of this episode, it would be a serious contender for my favourite so far. But as I cannot excise him, this one is thoroughly middle of the pack. This episode had some serious stuff to say about the horrors of war from a perspective I defy you to find in any other kids' show, if only Aang would sit down and shut up for a minute.
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OTH Rewatch Review 3x07
IIIIIII DON'T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYY
Jesus Christ
So, like, here's the thing about this fucking Inception dream sequence. What is happening? Is Nathan dreaming about Haley making out with Brooke after waking up from a nightmare about Lucas and Chris in bed together after Lucas woke up from dreaming about being in bed with Brooke? Because it's a dream within within a dream. I don't know what your subconscious is like Nathan.
Nathan's grin. I mean, technically you've slept with both of them. AND HALEY'S SISTER.
"What is she doing talking to that troll?" "By troll do you mean Peyton?" Oh, Haley. How I love you sometimes.
Because Peyton fucking SUCKS.
"I'm over possessive-best-friends-with-weird-lesbian energy. And Haley!" That was actually a good delivery but if anyone has the lesbian energy here, it's Brooke and Rachel.
"Well, at least somebody wanted me." Oh, preteen Zal was SO frustrated with this ENTIRE storyline.
"HALEY, YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE HERE." lol.
"You look so..." "Overdressed." Good delivery. But also Haley, my girl, the SUN is out, why are you wearing a little black dress?
I mean "little black dress" this is still OTH.
They really felt uncomfortable in the clothes they had to wear??
This is so dumb, she's clearly going out with Nathan and Haley too, Lucas.
YOU ALL HAVE CELL PHONES. CALL HER.
Ugh, Skills.
"I've been on kinky dates before..." with who? I guess s1 Nathan would've done something weird.
Remember how s1 Nathan was like a legit emotionally, verbally abusive villain?
"Let's spring [the senior in the nursing home]! It's just a couple of hours, what harm could it do?" If this was a dark comedy, he'd die.
Chris tipping a random woman on the beach and slapping her ass is just ... ugh. She should've slapped him. Alas, Mark Schwahn.
Haley having a quiet but profound breakdown. Brooke, "It's OK. Let's just go to the mall." And she is being helpful and it is very sweet but that's also hilarious. Uhhh, sorry that your wedding spot is being destroyed, let's just go to the mall instead. You know? Nothing profoundly sad happens at the mall.
"I can't believe she's doing this." IT WAS A GROUP DATE, LUCAS.
"This guy has caused a lot of trouble, Brooke knows that." Lucas, the people that he caused trouble between WERE WITH HER GETTING INTO THE CAR. YOU SAW THEM.
I swear to god Lucas, I would hit you. SHUT UP.
24. Braley are such better friends than Breyton.
25. I REALLY wish we got more Nathan and Brooke scenes because they had a really fun chemistry together and I liked that they were both being courted by Haley and Lucas and they could both understand where the other was coming from
26. Haley's laugh at Chris saying "Maybe he's afraid of me" is hilarious because she stops and continues. But Chris shutting her up with "Maybe he doesn't care anymore" was mean but well-played.
27. It's funny how Chris Keller is a better Damon than Damon. Because he's not a good actor but he doesn't overplay it.
28. Aww, jealous Nathan
29. James Lafferty's shoulders are quite broad this episode.
30. Nathan is vulnerable and you were practically giving the enemy a LAP DANCE. I mean she wasn't Brooke but the exaggeration is very Brooke and also very high school. I remember in high school we were at a school dance and this girl's boyfriend was getting jumped outside while she was dancing with another guy and all of us girls were like WHAT THE FUCK??? [INSERT NAME] IS GETTING JUMPED AND YOU WERE BASICALLY HAVING SEX ON THE DANCE FLOOR! What did we expect her to do? Get jumped with him?? Teenagers.
31. "I didn't do anything!" "Except for kiss Chris and run away with him?" I mean, she's got a point Haley. "What about you messing with Lucas and hiding all those letters you wrote to him under your bed?" I mean, she's got a point Brooke.
32. "I know this is where we made love in the rain." I mean, it wasn't ON the balcony though. It should've been.
33. "I still feel our past just like you do" well especially considering that you were the one who was left.
34. Rachel calling Lucas gay because he's CLEARLY into Brooke and is like please stop getting naked around me because I LOVE BROOKE is hilarious because what?
35. Chris also getting Brooke more and more drunk so they can have sex is incredibly gross.
36. "All of the celebrity..." she had ONE original song and was doing covers and opening for actual celebrities? WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?
37. We could also talk about the fact that Nathan was the one who encouraged her to sing in front of people etc. etc. and she wouldn't have been a "star" without him in her life at all.
38. Mouth's reveal that Mel is his grandfather is ... OK? I know this is supposed to push Peyton to Ellie but meh.
39. "SHE NOTEBOOKED YOU?" "I totally Notebooked him" lmao these references.
40. Nathan keeping a flower from the beach is Lucas keeping a feather from Brooke's wings.
41. *SIGH* Brooke and Chris. What, it takes like two more episodes for them to be together?
42. I also absolutely do not believe that Brooke wouldn't have kicked Chris out of the house right after sleeping with him. She'd be disgusted.
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AAAAAAA ur reading house of leaves??? im buying that next week thats so cool! do u have any book recs? or recs in general shows movies etc
I AM!! I'm several chapters in and super enjoying it, although reading it alone in a tiny hotel room in the middle of nowhere was a Distinct Mistake.
As for recs! I'm going to specifically go for stuff that isn't super mainstream, in the hopes that I'll recommend you something you have never heard of before. Here's some stuff for you!
Podcasts
Dreamboy - one-season podcast from Night Vale Presents, definitely one of their less-known ones. Explicit in places, what I would describe as AO3 M-rated sex scenes. A worn-out musician ends up embroiled in inexplicable events in a small town, and also there's a murderous zebra and fossils that want to fuck. It's a musical cinematic podcast masterpiece, I'll always be sad there's only one season.
Apocrypals - nonfiction. Two non-believers read through the Bible and try not to be jerks about it. If you're interested in theology and apocryphal texts but have no idea where to start, this is such a good place. The hosts are delightful, and have a really nice way of taking you through all the various layers of Biblical scholarly nonsense. Considerable backlog of episodes, but worth listening through from the beginning. Weirdly, there's continuity.
Til Death Do Us Blart - five poor fools watch Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 every Thanksgiving from now until the end of eternity, and report back yearly on their mental state. You may think to yourself 'wow, that doesn't sound like a good time'. It isn't, to the hosts. To anyone listening along, it's fucking hilarious. Nine episodes so far, and it's a single episode per year, so plenty of time to catch up.
Web Series
The Monument Mythos - Several seasons. surreal analogue horror alternate history of America told through a series of videos of varying format. Brilliantly absurd, fucked up, and horrifying by turns (sometimes all at once).
No Evil - ongoing animated series, made mostly by a single person. Please don't immediately wave it off because of the colorful anthropormorphic animals. The mythology is amazing, the animation is sublime, and the music is haunting. The pacing is a bit strange at first, and you may be confused at the way the plot moves, but you have to understand that it's all part of its charm. I think about No Evil way too much.
Dances Moving - you may know Brian David Gilbert from his work at Polygon, and his more recent absurdist Youtube ventures. This is from way before that! It's a fun and gradually heartwrenching musical exploration of a local dance group and what it means to move away from home. Seven short episodes.
ENA - this one is a bit more mainstream, so you may know it already. Who knows what's going on in the world of ENA? Definitely not me. Absurdism at its finest. Bizarre architecture, strange characters, if it's a metaphor I don't know what it's about, but the vibes are immaculate. Three actual episodes of varying length, apparently there's a video game set to come out soon-ish?
An Unauthorized Fan Treatise - serialized story. If you're a fan of internet drama a la Msscribe, you're going to adore it. It's a fiction story about a fictional fandom, and one massively messed up person who decides that two of the lead actors in her favorite show are secretly dating and sets out to prove it with a cited multi-chapter essay. And then it gets wild.
Comics
The Property of Hate - a wonderfully dynamic and colorful webcomic about a young girl getting chosen to become a make-believe world's Hero. Puns and wordplay galore. Absolutely delightful characters and worldbuilding. Ongoing.
Eat the Rich - a young woman goes to meet her boyfriend's extremely rich family, and learns their horrifying secret. Warning: cannibalism. 5 issues, complete.
Beanworld - impossible to describe, but I'll try. An absurdist semiabstract musing on the nature of life and cycles and community, set in a world where the rules are weirdly two-dimensional and you as a reader get weirdly invested in the routines and cycles that the inhabitants follow. And all of the main characters are cute lil bean guys. If you read anything on this list, do this one. (Linked is the only online version I could find, and it's not up-to-date. I own all the omnibuses in print. If you liked what you read here, I recommend tracking them down too.)
Short Stories (in no particular order, and certainly not all my favorites - just the ones I had bookmarked and on hand)
Bride, Knife, Flaming Horse - a young Indian woman looks for marriage in the fantastical, and finds several suitors
Fish (in 13 sections) - an obsessive unpacks a bewildering insult. Just, really fun.
Fandom For Robots - a robot discovers anime, and definitely doesn't have big feelings about it
Informed Consent Logs From The Soul-Swap Clinic - two people decide to swap bodies, for somewhat murky reasons.
The Magician's Apprentice - a young girl learns magic from her mentor. This one's about grooming. But not like that. But also a lot like that. But also it's so much more fucked up than that. (This one is a MEGA favorite, it's by Tamsyn Muir. Who you may recognize as the author of the Locked Tomb series - I'd rec that too here, if it wasn't definitely too mainstream for what I'm going for. Read this. And also read the Locked Tomb.)
The Tale of the Foolish King Who Banished Music - it's a snippet of a longer Doctor Who audio drama, but stands so nicely on its own. Unnerving little fairy tale.
The Spider - 1908 horror story about a man trying to figure out why so many men have spontaneously committed suicide in a specific hotel room. It's basically a TMA statement, in more ways than one.
Video Games
What Did Veronica Dream Of? - strange little rpgmaker puzzle game. Obtuse and weird, and I adore it. I wish I could explain why.
Secret Little Haven - point-and-click about being a trans girl on the internet in 1999. Completely nails the tone it's going for. Period-typical homo- and transphobia.
Linelith - a short (1-hour) puzzle game with no plot and no characters, and yet it contains one of the greatest plot-twists of all time. I'm begging you to play it immediately.
Lingo - puzzle game about linguistics, words, non-Euclidean goemetry, and figuring out an endless series of rules in a constantly expanding world. RIDICULOUSLY clever and good, and I've been playing it almost continuously for the last few months. It's got so much content for such a reasonable price, and the community-made maps add even more content (and are also excellent). If English isn't your first language, you may struggle, but otherwise - grab a bunch of friends and stream it. It's better with friends helping you out, I can guarantee it.
For A Change - a 1999 interactive fiction game about raising the sun in a world where words do not mean what you think they mean. If you're familiar with old text-based games, go ahead and play it - otherwise, you may want to read this transcript of a group of people playing it together instead.
Other Things
Carmilla - the classic 1800s lesbian vampire novella. I read it very recently, and it's extremely good. Absolutely delivers on the lesbian vampire premise in full gory detail, although do be aware that it was written in the context of homophobic fear.
Alberio - very fun light musical about two siren brothers reconnecting under less-than-ideal circumstances.
Mosquitoes - stage play about life and families and physics (theoretical and practical both). Very heavy topics, pulls no punches. The Boson's final monologue always wrecks me.
Ghost Quartet - musical/song cycle/experience about love, death, alcohol, and (of course) ghosts. Lots of cyclical stories and time travel weirdness. All of the songs are incredible.
Yankee and the Foreigners - music group that performs delightful upbeat covers of songs in animal onesies. Their Bare Necessities cover is a favorite of mine.
I'm sure there's lots more things I could rec (not a lot of books or movies here, huh? sorry about that. I immediately forgot everything I've ever read and watched) but these were the things that came to mind when I sat down and wrote this list, so hopefully there's something new and good for you in here!
#not tss#recs#asks#if any of these scratched your brain good Let Me Know!! i like to know i have good taste#also [grabs your shoulders] go read gideon the ninth. please.#it's a surprise tool that will help you later.
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(i saw some speculation about there being an emergency at the same horse ranch in a future episode, so here’s 900+ words of...something, i guess. this was supposed to be a fun outsider pov idk how it turned into angst)
When they get the call from the equestrian centre, Buck’s first thought is one of alarm, quickly squashed by the reminder that Christopher doesn’t have his therapy session that day. It’s not even a very serious call—a horse spooked and injured an instructor, who seems more embarrassed and frazzled than anything, insisting that this never happens and keeps asking after the horse, even as Hen and Chim look him over with indulgent smiles, wrapping it up as they tell him he should get checked out at the hospital, just in case.
Buck and Lucy are prepping the gurney to transport him, when he hears a familiar voice.
“Mr Buckley?”
Buck turns, frowning, but relaxes when he sees Rachel, the blonde instructor who showed Christopher the ropes when they had brought him here that first day. She walks over to them, looking pleasantly surprised.
“I didn’t know you were a firefighter!” She says, giving Lucy a brief smile before turning her attention back onto him. “I haven’t seen you since Christopher was enrolled—his other dad is usually the one who brings him.”
Buck’s heart just about drops into his stomach and his smile freezes on his face. He can sense Lucy staring at him curiously out of the corner of his eye. He refuses to look at her.
“Ah, yeah—” He begins, with an awkward laugh, unsure of how to correct her. The thing is, this isn’t exactly new to him. He’s been mistaken as Chris’ dad, as Chris’ other dad more times than he can count at this point. At the mall with Santa, at the zoo, hell, at Chris’ school. But it feels different, now. It feels painful, like a reminder of everything he can’t have but is clinging onto anyway; a reminder of the yawning distance between him and Eddie, only starting to tentatively close after Eddie’s breakdown; a reminder of the fact that he can only have this, have Chris, if Eddie—
Anyway. It’s a lot.
Before Buck can stutter out a reply, Rachel continues. “Chris is such an amazing kid,” she gushes and some of the tightness in Buck’s chest settles a little because hell yeah, he is. “So calm and patient with the horses, and so funny and smart, too! You guys have done an incredible job with him.”
You guys. As in Buck and Eddie. As in, Buck and Eddie as parents. Both of them.
This is fine, Buck thinks, a little hysterically. This is fine, although I’m not his parent, and I never will be, unless I have to watch the other half of my fucking heart die, and pretend I haven’t gone with him, just to raise Chris. As though the price I would have to pay to have Chris as my own wouldn’t leave me a broken mess in the process. As if I can’t make up my mind whether I hate Eddie for the will, or love him all the more for it.
“Thank you,” Is what slips out, instead, like all those years ago on a cool Christmas Eve, surrounded by lights and laughter and the warmth of the little family unit that was the Diaz boys.
The only thing that hasn’t changed since then is that he desperately wishes they could be his.
Rachel grins at him in response, seemingly unaware of the turmoil her words have thrown him into, and then appears to realize that they’re still at work, apologizes and leaves with a cheerful goodbye. Buck only remembers that they have a job to be doing then, getting into position to wheel along the gurney again.
Lucy clears her throat. Buck had almost forgotten she was there.
“I didn’t know you had a kid,” she says casually, like they’re talking about the weather. Buck almost flinches.
“I don’t,” he says, shortly, praying she’ll drop it.
Of course, his life is never that easy, because she continues to press. “You didn’t correct her.” Buck supposes he should be relieved, at least, that she’s not asking about the Eddie of it all. That she’s not asking him, why the hell did you kiss me if you have a partner, dude? As though Eddie is his partner, instead of Taylor, even if it feels unbelievably wrong to call her that.
“It’s complicated,” Buck says and Lucy laughs a little disbelievingly.
“You sure? It sounds like a yes or no question to me.”
“Just drop it, Donato,” Buck snaps, and almost instantly feels bad, but she only shrugs, letting the words roll off her like water in a way Buck can only envy her for being able to do. Thankfully, Hen and Chim are done by then, and all their attention is focused on transporting the patient.
Later, Buck will go home (not home, it’s not his home, he tries to remind himself uselessly) to an Eddie who looks less tired than yesterday, asking him about his day with a smile; and a Christopher who pretends to be annoyed when Buck checks that he’s doing his homework. He’ll stand at the kitchen counter with Eddie and help him chop vegetables and join in with Chris to poke fun at Eddie over dinner, and ignore the texts on his phone from his girlfriend. He'll watch on as Eddie kisses Chris goodnight with a fond smile and then linger in the hallway outside Chris’ room with Eddie, not talking, just comfortable silence as they gaze at each other for a long moment in the dim light. Eddie will tell him to spend the night and he’ll say yes, and he’ll take Eddie’s uncomfortable old couch over his large bed in the loft, comfy but cold, with Taylor in it.
He'll think of you two have an adorable son and you guys have done an incredible job and he’ll let himself pretend, for a moment, that it’s true.
#neethu writes#911 fox#buddie#useralie#tuserzee#userceecee#usermoonlight#tuserksn#userisha#911fic#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buck x eddie#userkourt#usermaripal#otp: you two have an adorable son
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Moonlight Chicken Ep 5 Stray Thoughts
Last time, things got complicated. We got to see Alan, and learned that he doesn't exactly accept that he and Wen are broken up; Alan and Wen are still living together because Wen can't afford to move out. Gaipa's mom joins the ranks of great parents, but is waving multiple death flags. Things came to a head with Li Ming and Jim, and we all realized how painfully aware of their lives Li Ming is. Heart successfully cheered Li Ming up, and we realized that the Chin Tickle is likely something Li Ming learned from Jim. Li Ming also snuck Heart out for a date and took him to meet members of the local deaf community. Finally, Alan showed up at the diner and started a physical altercation, so things are pretty messy.
Just like with Jim and Beam, I'm really glad we're seeing a glimpse of what Wen and Alan were before. It's fun to see First and Mix play off each other. I want this to be remembered as a gay drama, so we need to see more pairings. Still, they were together for over five years, so I kinda get Alan a bit more.
Cutting from their sweet first anniversary to this fight made me feel tense. First and Mix are great here, and I have to know what happened that soured a five-year romance. This fight feels like it could only happen between two people who know exactly how to hurt each other.
Chapter 5: Wrong You in the Right Time
So Gong seems to have a girlfriend.
Wen definitely has to move out. This can't hold anymore.
You know they must have filmed all the scenes at this other restaurant on the same day, because that same bird is chirping so loudly in the background.
Li Ming hates being told not to contribute, when these worries affect him too.
This breakfast is becoming so awkward, but I'm not surprised Gaipa and his mom are willing to help Jim.
You can see Li Ming growing up in real time as he pushes Jim about Wen.
Au Kornprom Nyomsil cameo as the bubble tea seller (he's the director of My School President). Very cute that it's an interaction with Fourth.
Heart and Li Ming picking up temp work as mascots in the mall was not what I was expecting, but I'm sure it'll let Wen meet them first.
And there he is. It's interesting how Wen can avoid talking about his relationship problems with Jim without Li Ming getting frustrated. Li Ming is determined though, and makes sure Wen knows that Gaipa is around more. I like how fond of the boys Wen is, and how quickly he adapted to communicating with Heart.
You can feel the age gap between Jim and Alan. Jim has no intention of trying to assuage Alan, because Jim knows there's nothing he can say, and they can both stay within the professional sphere in the bank. Still, Alan crosses that line when he asks for the pen, and Jim follows suit to assure Alan that he didn't know.
First is so good. The pissy little head jerk he gave when he realized Wen is involved with the diner loan stands out.
Gong's role in this show is to provide completely reasonable advice and clear perspectives.
Wen, he said to talk in person. Stop calling and just go to him.
Oh, Jim. You're absolutely valid for not wanting to get tangled up in someone else's affairs, but I am aching for you.
Fuck, Alan and Wen had rings?? No wonder he's been so upset. Wen should not have put them through this for half a year. This was a painful breakup scene. First and Mix have been incredible this episode.
Li Ming is lying. It's time for this to blow up.
Saleng also hasn't mentioned selling the dowry yet.
The real fantasy of this show is speech-to-text working consistently.
Look at Li Ming following the father's advice to use physical touch with Heart.
Okay, so Heart at least didn't crash into someone else, but his parents are going to freak about him being injured.
That scene with the family was difficult. Gemini is good, too. How long has Heart wanted to say that to his parents? They can't even communicate with him because they didn't learn sign. Did they provide resources for Heart to learn, but didn't use them for themselves? How long would this have gone on if Li Ming hadn't become his friend? How long has he gone without someone to understand him and hug him?
I like timing Wen's arrival after this fight between Li Ming and Jim. Li Ming questions whether Jim would neglect Li Ming like Heart's family, and stresses that he's the only one who could help. Now Wen is here and things are clear. Jim can't turn him away now.
#moonlight chicken meta#midnight series: moonlight chicken#moonlight chicken#thai drama#thai bl#bl series#Ben watches
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I think the finale was nuts, I loved it.
I've seen two main theories floating around after it: Noone/Ruth is RCG and Otto becomes Mirror Man. I think both are likely but I'll wait until we get some more stuff on LN3 before making a stance. What do you think about these ideas?
I really want people to talk about the weird as mannequin shit from the brief narrating Noone gives towards the beginning, classic LN stunt to give the least focus to the weirdest setting. Would love to hear your thoughts on this too.
The Ferryman was suitably spine-chilling and the reveal he actually WAS targeting Otto (in a sense) was fucking brilliant. Speaking of Otto him finding his next patient (read: victim) actually made me wince.
If you've got any other things I didn't cover here or in my breakdown, please point them out.
As of now I have nothing if not a few headcanons on Otto and Sisi's possible relationship based on the VERY few clues we were given (I WILL WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT IT HEHEGEGEG) and... that statement you made about the Ladies and the people accompanying Noone in her journey... because I was really thinking about it.
For example, the Prisoner Kid. Part of their head was covered in goo. They tried to help Noone through the whole process and even managed to escape but got dragged right back into the system they so desperately wanted to flee at the very end. The part about their head being partially obstructed makes me think of Fox's huge bite mark... and Jester, dude, Jester... with him feeling like something is missing, like he doesn't know what he's supposed to say with is own jokes. Like he's split in two. One part of him is the one he projects, the fun loving one, and the other is the part that is forgetting. Ough. Tengu core...
Episode 3's dream starting with someone letting go of Noone's hand was interesting because the Mall had planned games for two. But Noone doesn't have a companion. I'm wondering what the implications could be. Then Rusty, ofc you pointed that out in your analysis... These connections are admittedly shaky, but I am keeping them in the very back of my mind as of now.
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tuesday again 8/15/2023
woo it's payday
listening
joywave, one of my favorite bands put out a experimental collab album. it's taking a bit to grow on me but i do like The Carousel. this man is simply having a fucking blast on this fucking carousel. starts off with some synth..stings??? that feel very much like they could back a mall fashion show. or, better yet, imagine a 2005 chick flick about a small town girl moving to the big apple and accidentally becoming a supermodel. this would be the backing track when she finally nails her walk. spotlights, sophistication through understated vibes, frictionless, etc. spotify.
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reading
shotgunned five volumes of spy x family sunday night and i am now deeply invested in this simp. this is just a very silly slowburn slice of life. epitome of curtainfic
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watching
gave Afro Samurai (2007, Gonzo) the ol' two-episode try and simply was not vibing. it more than delivers on the samurai and afro parts of its title and is very stylish (complimentary). i think it deserves its emmys, it has a really lovely sense of constant motion without getting muddy and the fights are fun to watch. the sprinkling of high-tech futurism in what would otherwise be a very ordinary samurai anime is fun.
however it is SIGNIFICANTLY gorier than i expected.
if you looked at these screencaps and thought "hey that sounds like something Samuel L Jackson would say" congrats he's in this, bc it was 2007 and we had not yet exhausted our appetite for making Samuel L Jackson say things like this. we must also remember it is from 2007, so it rates VERY highly on the weeb portion of the Weeb-Ass-Shit scale.
that specific combo of gory weeb shit simply wasn't the mood on friday night and i don't think i'll come back to it. not for me! sad! oh well there's other anime!
how'd i find this: the wonders of tubi
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playing
organ attack is a medical-themed last-one-standing card game where each person starts out with four organs and a hand of five attack and defense cards. most are tailored towards a specific organ (eg the NOSEBLEED card i pulled first) but some are more general like CANCER or NECROSIS. it took about an hour with six people bc it got down to a real drag-out nasty threeway fight at the very end. the style is what you see on the box and is not gross-out nasty.
hysterically fun to play with a bunch of nurses, and even if you don't have an established friendgroup of nurses to insert yourself into it's very funny to say shit like "i'm giving your teeth cancer, hand 'em over". if you are playing with normal able-bodied folks i would not recommend saying "haha i have that!" every time someone puts a relevant card down. the normies really didn't like that.
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making
fallow week
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Episode four! I missed the bad kid’s insanity so much <3
Episode four of every season they’re shy!
In space no one can feel you dying 💀
“What’s the drinking age?” “You guys have murdered SO many people”
Kalinaaaaaa
Hiiiii
Oh she’s an actual cat now!
She/they pronouns for Cassandra are back!
Kristen’s middle name is on her character page now!! Kristen Chilis Applebees!
Catchin me on my left foot hereeee gato.
Ooh they’ve got other offers
Why would you SAY that
That definitely circumvents the truth in a cool way……
When your only two followers fight :(
Just stop saying it pleaseeeeee
Say a n y t h i n g other than that
Hot.
Oooh the mall!
Why would you SAY THAT
So many of them have stars in their hats! And I have stars in my body! :D
I love Cassandra so so much
Aaaaaaaaaaaaa Kristen when you’re in the dark she’s there holding your hand. She gives you forehead kisses
KVX BANK????
Oh well that makes it all okay then!
:(
Oh my GOD
What the fuck Bill
CHUNGLEDOWNNNNN
God the fucking. D20 directly reflecting my life experiences.
Simeon du Vayne the new lunch lad. What’s your vibe
Ooh third eye is sick
I love that they’re never gonna say her name right
Scabby!!
Gorthalax! Hi!
On my first day of high school this guy yelled fresh meat at all of us and he continued to be a pain in the ass all fucking year
Fig. Fig no.
It does seem like the rat grinders might be direct foils to the bad kids. Let’s see how this goes!
Kipperlilly did not come at y’all nearly as hard as Kristen went aggro at her
Is it the sack of rats trick?? Is that where they got the name???
IT IS THE SACK OF RATS TRICK. FUCK.
I love how pissed they all are about this
THIS is what riz has never been more mad about ❤️
Girlie!!
The bad guy this season is just xp leveling 😭😭
God how high level are they????
Kindlesnap Whatsherface
Dome!!!!
He’s just a guy!
Please please nat 20
Crushing. That’s crushing
I love ripped jeans gorgug <3
That is SO much
Corsica Jones is HOT
Kristen and Riz dynamic duoooo
Riz Gukgak character of all time
FIG
Archaeologist Siobhan Thompson!!
Really emphasizing the ‘sorry what’ thing that post was talking about
Fig barbarian level!
That energy is more intense than anything fig tried to imply from goldenhoard
If the cig figs break up I’m gonna be fucking devastated
Oh yeah the junior year eggs. Okay.
Can I have some of your girlfriend’s hair? I need it for school.
I love that we all called the kill mum idea
She really should get paid for the elven oracle shit
Inclusive kinggggg
Ooh maybe I’ll wear my owlbears sweatshirt tomorrow. (Best holiday gift I got!
Ah the epic highs and lows of high school bloodrush
Max Durden!! He’s so cute.
Love that for him tbh
THIRTY FIVE
Who is this motherfucker
What the fuck are you doing
(Zac wheezing in excruciating pain)
Don’t align yourself with her Riz
What!
I love that everyone is going so aggro on the buttcrushers. Absolutely demolish their asses.
“You don’t have to call me coach” oh OUCH
Bucky Applebees!!!
Love the paladin repppppp
Oh kiddo
Oh Kiddo :(
I’m not trying to be cool I’m trying to be president
RATGRINDERS CLERIC IS HELIOIC
The BUTTFUCKERS? ALLY.
She’s had a lot of jobs but not that many of them were… legal.
Fabian’s so lonely :(
Bad kids study party!!! Real and confirmed!!!!
Aww I was so excited for Adaine to work at Basrar’s but the mall is fun too
Hmm. Sketchy!
German shepherd mode <3
Emily and Ally are having SO much fun with this
The procrastination is so fucking real
I’ve deeply missed you
WHAT what does that mean why is this the case
Oooh okay I’m really getting the sense that that blue mall battle set is the Synod
Sunglass kiosk. Palm tree. Mall things.
Ooh I just noticed seacaster manor in the background of the dome art
Strudel dimension, don’t put your hand in it. Don’t! Put your hand in it!
We don’t know if the strudel is infinite it just hasn’t ended yet.
I’m obsessed with this guy.
I’m so obsesssed
Mazey Phaedraaaaa
Oh my godddddddd
“I’m from hell” girly I love you to death but you are from downtown elmville
Ooohohohohoh she’s good at this
I love dnd mechanics manifesting as real elements of life within game
Awww
I don’t know as much about warlocks as I should really do this is great
That’s SO SICK I LOVE HER
Ragh!!!
Babe you cannot make student government cool. You just can’t.
Oooooof
What is this energy
Crab kinggggggg
We’re so fucking back
I’m Christian Delnore and I have Children!
OOP
Kristen’s energy is SO wild this year. She said she was trying to move past chaos and then came out the gate with This energy
Tracker’s dating the fucking Princess. Of course.
Messy high school relationships :)
That’s how it goes!
The intense side eye I am giving the whole situation
Kristen do you wanna fuck Kalina
What do you want with the president??? (To say hi)
Hell yeah gsa member Kristen Applebees
Torek with the button press!
I love them SO much I missed the bad kids SO FUCKING MUCH
Ohhhh this is the backstory of that button from the merch drop ok
They’re so unhinged
WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT
Torek Railgrinder Theater Kid!!
Oh noooo
WHAT
Oh fuck
Why would you volunteer ANY information
She was a fucking turncoatttt
The name keeps getting further and further from anything
Stone cold
So excited for the party
HOT
SHE’S SO HOT
Oh god
Zero separation of church and state
Oh FUCK
What oh no oh god please no
AAAAAAAAAAA okay I guess next weeks is the mall fight!
I am so scared and so excited.
It’s our time! It’s our year! It’s all gonna be okay!
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