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feroluce · 11 days

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Lucid Dreamer (1/2)

part 2

Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!

But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.

He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.

And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.

…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.

Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-

Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.

Gepard goes back home. He waits.

The uneasiness doesn't leave him.

"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.

"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.

"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.

Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."

Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.

"…I'll be back in one more week."

Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.

The hell.

The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.

Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.

He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!

Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.

He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.

He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.

He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.

"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.

"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.

"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.

Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."

Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.

Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.

Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-

"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."

Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.

"Wake up."

Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.

He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.

And he waits and he waits and he waits.

No one he recognizes appears.

#sampard #gepo #hsr gepard #hsr sampo #gepard landau #sampo koski #honkai star rail #hsr #blood #my fics #lucid dreamer #there was more to this but it didn't feel right included here so part 2 tomorrow maybe?#I just think Penacony being the land of dreams presents some FASCINATING possibilities like showing up in other people's dreams #the end of masquerade duet killed me just beat me dead #Sampo going through all this trouble just to protect Belobog...#poor Ray got such an earful that night haha #In the Penacony dreamscape someone can change their appearance however they want but I think in this case where one of the dreamers AREN'T-#-on Penacony it would take more concentration to keep that illusion up #and if someone were say. hurt and badly bleeding. it would start to fall apart eventually as they lost their concentration.#but oh my heart #Sampo being away and missing Belobog so badly he shows up in his friends' dreams just to do the same mundane shit they always do...#He probably showed up to everyone #he sat around and kept Natasha company in her clinic. he pestered Seele until he provoked her into asking Bronya on a date.#he played one last song with Pela and Serval. he told them he'd always kept his old bass guitar.#he took Hook out on one last joyride on his scooter and he even let her sit up front and steer like she'd always wanted.#and he stood around to shoot the shit with Gepard #he got to go do things like run domestic errands together with him. as if they could have been something more than what they were at the en #it was nice to get the chance to do all that #it was nice

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aeb-art · 3 months

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soooo… i did another comic with geo (who of course belongs to @8um8le)! it ending up stretching the page quite a bit, so the rest is under the cut o7

and geo proceeded to win every single round of pool that night, the end, thank you for reading this far 🙇

i'm still not super confident in writing for geo, but i had too much fun with this to care ehehe 🥰 this is the year of indulgence, everyone!

edit: i just realized that I PUT THE CICUITS ON THE WRONG ARM! it's supposed to be on my right not my left, oh i'm so mad 😭💔

#2024 #stellar city #sc geo #sc ash #self insert #self ship #this is skipping foward a while in time from the new years comic damn i'll get to the inbetween later maybe idk #timeline would be nye kiss > stalling > actual confession > dates that are either confined to the mall or over video call > this #i think if it's not related to an event the security guards dress in civilian clothes to cause less of a scene if possible #shoutout to the furnace robot i'm in love with her also i decided that under her faceplate is a flamethrower i think that'd be fun #also i know realistically geo has clothes that aren't suits BUT the idea popped in my head of the mall toons having to fight him on his out #agrees to not wear a nice suit jacket and leave his shirt untucked on the condition that he can keep his gloves #like that's a ridiculous scenario but i lost it laughing #would you believe me if i said that's what made me do all of this #also the 'i won't let them ruin this' is also like… oh sweetheart how do you know YOU won't be the one to ruin it? lmao that'd be fun #i totally gave up on that last panel ngl i couldn't think of what to put on the signs lmao #okay i've rambled more than enough! everyone have a beautiful day/night xoxoxo love you mwah

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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bubblegumr1ck · 5 months

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coloured version with an actual background coming when i feel like getting around to it

#rick and morty #morty smith #mortycest #evil morty #prime morty/evil morty #prime morty x evil morty #art #my art #bubblegumr1ck-art #i finished this last night but couldn't post it because my internet died #but in the meantime someone rb'd me complaining about the lack of mortycest LOL #shoutout to that person if you see this #also yea soz for killing this blog #i have been keeping up with s7 but i'm always at least a day behind so i've just been reblogging stuff to my main #i might make a text post after the final episode though (its in my drafts but i'd rather it not become outdated within one episode)#also if i make more art i'll post it here lol #ok bye

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skoulsons · 11 months

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She knows him.

She’s knows his violent and protective side. The guy she’s seen tell her to get to safety while he stands in the line of fire to protect her. Who brutally beat a man right in front of her because he would’ve shot him them. Who sniped infected from a building to keep her safe and to clear her a path. Who pulled a clicker off of her, even though she’s the immune one, to protect her and kill it. Perhaps the biggest one, torturing and brutally killing men in order to find her.

But she also knows his gentle and caretaking side. The side that cares about her well-being, safety, and the things she’s exposed to, despite it being the apocalypse. She knows the side of him that draped his coat overtop of her while she was sleeping so she wouldn’t get too cold. Who tossed the remainder of his jerky to her. The side of him that stopped her on the road to keep her from seeing the pile of skeletons. The man who giggled with her over a stupid diarrhea joke in the dead of night. Who buckled her seatbelt for her when he really didn’t have to. The man who shielded her from a clicker by holding her behind him. Who held her hands so gently when showing her how to hold her gun. Who held onto her pack and guided her behind a car and didn’t let go until she was safely ducked behind it. Who taught her how to shoot their rifle with a smile on his face and a hand on her back. Who held her hand so tightly, despite the pain he was in and effort it took.

That’s who she knows. And when he finally finds her in winter and holds her face and tells her “it’s me,” and she recognizes herself that “it’s Joel,” she knows. She knows he’ll hold her.

#I was thinking about how I tagged my post last night #and I tagged one of them as #she knows he’ll hug her #and I’ve just been thinking about it.#do I ever rest? no. they keep me up all hours.#the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #tlou rot #L analyzes #L fics

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dykevanny · 10 days

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had a really funny idea for an ask blog ft. Vanny and another plex employee oc,,

#Get this right. 2 pizzaplex employees accidentally get tumblr famous bc someone has been leaving weird graffiti everywhere and #Getting up to other shenanigans and sends asks abt it to this one like urban exploration blog. Who later gets an ask basically like #Hey I work at the plex?? This is some insider info only another employee would know????#The two anons are constantly back and forth in this persons inbox and are eventually assigned nicknames #‘Pix’ for the mystery vandalism employee because she shows up as nothing but weird pixels and glitches on cameras #The other employee is ‘Cam’ because they have been monitoring all this on the cameras #One day they get each others blogs and keep sending each other death threats and shit jokingly but one day pix warns cam not to go to a #Weird late staff meeting #The next night it is literally just the two of them and they think this is so funny they start a blog trying to uncover why everyone else #Just isn’t coming in. At first they are like well layoffs duhhhh #But then ppl send asks and messages like ‘hey have u seen this employee it’s my brother/friend/etc’ and they realize shit is actually going #On in here #One night cam is live-blogging their shift and sees a weird intruder in a costume with a knife and runs around eventually escaping and find #Pix lying at the bottom of a stairwell unconscious with a bloody nose later #Takes pix to the hospital. Only to be alone in the plex the next night and suddenly get a phone call saying that pix left the hospital. Bc #Pix left cam as the emergency contact because ‘she didn’t have anyone else’.#Cam has to survive the masked intruder #eventually starts recording everything but when the intruder gets closer the footage gets glitchier #Eventually there’s just one fuzzy image of the intruder with Roxy and Monty standing on either side and that’s the last we hear of cam. Nex #Post is pix saying hehe thanks for following our little story aha !! Bye now it’s over!! And that’s it…..heheheheh #Killer rab blog has become a little boring for me so… might start this soon….#I’d have to make like 2 blogs plus some fake dms too probably . Damn

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the-tech-turn · 22 days

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The last thing Tech remembers about Crosshair before dying for his family is cross choosing the Empire - their enemy-over his family...

#AND ONE OF THE LAST THINGS CROSS REMEMBERS IS TECH AIMING HIS BLASTER AT HIM #this keeps me up at night #AND I THINK THAT THEY WERE SO CLOSE TO EACHOTHER #hELp #tbb #the bad batch #tbb tech #tbb crosshair

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the-mariachi-96 · 7 days

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What do you think of Azula with the Gaang? And how would Azula get along with them? What things do they mutually share?

Thanks for the question, Amor!

With Aang.

I think they both share how they were child prodigies who suffered from loneliness when they were called the best, you know, the master of the blue flame and the avatar.

They also share how they both don't have parents, although Aang had his teacher (I forgot his name) as his father figure, but he wasn't really his father. meanwhile Azula didn't really have a parent/ mother figure, or at least they didn't act like that.

They are both nobody's children. And I feel like they would get along well, they would both teach each other how to improve as a person and control their elements better.

With Katara.

They both suffered the loss of their mothers from a very young age, although Azula never really had one.

They are also prodigies, the best in their fields, with annoying older brothers.

I like to imagine that they would get along and both would team up to annoy their brothers.

With Sokka.

They are geniuses, or at least Sokka is better than average.

I bet they'd both get along because they're nerds, and they both have a greater sense of loyalty than each other.

but I like the headcanon that it's an adopted older brother/adopted younger sister relationship.

With Suki.

They are born leaders, they both share the desire to fight for others and are very protective of their loved ones.

They would get along if there wasn't a war, or maybe they would be sparring partners after the war.

And finally with Toph.

They both share loneliness and abandonment by their parents, although neither of them would talk about their problems, at least until they are going through a difficult time.

And they would be the explosive dynamic duo, although obviously Azula would be the most responsible and think logically, but sometimes she forgets and becomes just as chaotic as Toph.

Without a doubt Toph is Azula's bad influence.

And I think the one who would get along best with Azula would be Aang, they both share many things in common.

#Azula #Aang #Katara #Sokka #Suki #Toph #atla #avatar: the last airbender #Azula and Aang have the relationship of siblings without parents who care for/protect each other #and no one is going to get that idea out of me.#Azula and Katara team up to annoy their older siblings when they get irritated with them #it's a silent pact between them.#Azula and Sokka spend nights doing research and plans on how to improve the world.#Azula and Suki training partners who destroy the entire training field.#Someone keep Azula and Toph away because they destroy the world together.#Obviously I didn't put Zuko in because we all know what their relationship is like.#translator #traductor

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itspyon · 2 months

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i think we as a tumblr society have progressed past the need. blows you guys kisses

#i have simply had enough after last night #some of you have gotten excessively parasocial not just towards me but towards other blogs you come to talk shit about #as if i am not friends or at the very least acquaintances with them #and it's obvious you're from twitter because then i see the same phrasing on a vague tweet #i try to be positive or at the very least constructive about the issues you guys bring to me #but there's a bit too much venting a bit too much infighting i just won't waste my time on #i really wanted to have a normal conversation about how me and that one anon felt about content #and some of you got SO weird SO quickly i was put off. especially waking up this morning to the disaster that was my inbox #it is on me for having encouraged that type of behaviour at some level #so i'm pulling the plug now. go back to twitter and keep vague posting there

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becca-e-barnes · 1 year

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I got a massage bar at the start of the week and honestly, I didn't expect it to fill my head with thoughts of using it on a really submissive dad's best friend Bucky 🙈

Because I imagine he doesn't really relax very often. His life gets busy, things are overwhelming sometimes and he rarely takes the chance to let himself decompress. There would be some small self-care wins though and the day he does his first face mask with you probably stands out in his head as one of his favourite days ever.

But I love to imagine him fresh out of the shower with his hair still slightly damp while his body is dry. He's laid on his front on the bed, wearing just his underwear, scrolling on his phone and you know it's been a long week for him.

He seems content now though, not that you can really see his face. The gentle arch of his back is so inviting, your brain reminding you of how it feels to trail kisses down his spine while he lies like this.

He's been so tense all week, you hardly know where to start. Breaking off a little piece of the massage bar and letting the fragment soften in your hands gives you some time to decide a course of action. Do you begin with those broad, tense shoulders and work from there down or do you want to start on the small of his back and work your way towards his neck?

As the solid butters melt with your body heat, filling the room with the scent of patchouli and vanilla, you decide to work from his shoulders down. You know you've made the right decision when you hear his content sigh at the gentle kisses you litter across the bare skin of the back of his neck.

"What are you doing?" The hint of a smile on his face carries in his voice while you settle on top of him.

"Nothing. Relax." The shea and cocoa butters in the bar have melted into a much slicker consistency, allowing your hands to glide over the broad expanse of his strong shoulders with very little resistance. You touch him gently to begin with, spreading the oils over the top half of his back before pressing heavier to work them into his skin.

His shoulders are as tense as you expected them to be but it doesn't take much to relax them. Your fingertips sink in to the soft flesh where his neck curves into his shoulders, rubbing in small, concentrated circles.

"That's nice." He hums, sounding truly relaxed. There's no rush with this. It can take as long as he likes. You've got all night to appreciate the man in front of you and you could happily spend every second just touching him.

It's fun to play around with the pressure of your touch. With one palm planted on each side of his spine, your firm, languid strokes up the length of his back drag soft gasps from his parted lips. Your fingertips moving in gentle circles however, draw a contented hum from his throat. The kind of hum that makes you want to cradle his head to your chest. He thrives off affection like no one else and it only makes you want to give him every ounce you can muster.

The most delightful sounds he makes come when your fingernails dig in while you trail the length of his back. He's always enjoyed the soothing feeling of a gentle back scratch but with each scratch, you notice how he subtly grinds against the mattress with a quiet moan.

He's forgotten all about his bad week at work, that much is clear.

"Baby, please." It's barely more than a whisper but you couldn't have missed it. He's done with the back rub and that's more than fine. You take take the spot on the bed beside him while he turns to lie on his back, noticeably hard beneath the underwear that you quickly discard.

Precum leaks from his tip and he appreciates that your hands are still slick more than you could ever know. One firm pump of your hand, rolling your palm over the tip is enough to make him gasp. He's neglected his own need for far too long.

"F-fuck." He groans, beginning to thrust in time with your hand movements, fucking himself into your fist. It's erratic and needy and the light blush to his cheeks gives away that he's embarrassed about his lack of self-restraint. Not embarrassed enough to stop though.

"God, you're pathetic." You tease, lost in the way the degradation makes him tense up. He gets off on this and so do you. "I bet you couldn't last if you were inside me right now."

His breath catches in his throat because he knows you're right. Hell, he's struggling to last right now. There's no expectation for him to last forever this time around though. You know he'll be able to offer you a whole lot more once he gets this out of his system.

"N-no. I couldn't. I couldn't last." He's so beautiful and he doesn't even know it. You notice that he's even more beautiful with streams of his cum rolling down over your fingers, desperate sobs tumbling from his lips and his over pleasured groans hanging in the humid bedroom air.

Afterwards, the man seems boneless. He's content, melting into the bed and once you've had a chance to clean up, he pulls you in for the softest kisses.

#becca's thots #becca writes spice #dbf!bucky #sub!bucky #dbf!bucky smut #dbf!sub!bucky #I got 5 books yesterday and now I'm struggling to pick one to start with #I started 'the diary of an oxygen thief' last night and the hatred I have for the speaker already is incredible #I think I might start 'The Rachel Papers' tonight #and as soon as I sit down to read #I pick up my phone #and before I know it I'm looking at houses on property pal #I'd found one I liked but it sold this morning 🥲#part of me wants to be an adult and get a mortgage and a house and do adult things #and part of me doesn't want to be tied down yet #so I'll just keep looking online #and dreaming of the house plants I could get for Belle to knock over #I'm way too excited to use that massage bar though 👀

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