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#the grid as
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f1 + txt posts = true 5.0
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blorbocedes · 2 years
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The Grid as Shirts That Go Hard (part 1)
from my favourite twitter account @shirtsthtgohard and who I think in the grid should wear
Checo Perez
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Lewis Hamilton
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Fernando Alonso
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Pierre Gasly
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Daniel Ricciardo
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Sebastian Vettel
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Lando Norris
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Lance Stroll
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kritischetheologie · 1 year
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the grid as... forms of conflict in literature
with thanks to @grideon​ for the assist
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thepavementsings · 1 year
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Sorry for the most niche post of all posts but F1 drivers as Wonderland staff:
Pierre: Entrance Booth Worker. literally wanders around all the time. puts an out of order sign on the front of his queue half his shift rides all the rides on his 346345 minute “breaks”. only hasn’t been fired because he convinces all the PTA MILFs to buy 8 million memberships for their classes and he has highest group sales every month.
Charles: Taxi Jam ride operator. Helps measure all the babies to see if they are tall enough to ride the rides. Pretends he doesn’t notice when the extra little ones stand on their tiptoes to reach. 
Yuki: Funnel Cake Stand cook. The line is always an hour long to get one. But you will still wait every time. 
Carlos: hot lifeguard #1 that all the middle school girls pretend to drown in front of.
Lando: the lifeguard trainee who gets tonsillitis the second he steps into the whirlpool.  his mom thought a summer job would "build character" and now his his dad might sue. 
Daniel: Tiny Tims donut shop cashier. If you slip him a fiver he will jump scare your friends at the exit of the haunted house at Halloween Haunt. Tag him on the instagram stories. 
Max: vigilantly mans the lost & found in the kids zone
Sergio: customer service rep that has to deal with all the complaints filed by parents who get shouted at by Max for leaving their kid alone in the bouncy castle in the kids zone.
Lewis: too good to work at Wonderland. He’s the cool milf who brings his kids once a week. They have the Ultra Express Entrance Line Skip Pass and Pierre tries to convince Yuki to put vegan whipped cream on the menu for him. 
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obsob · 2 months
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i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy
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handweavers · 4 months
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taught myself beading over the last few weeks and have been making these little pins with designs inspired by weaving patterns
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tatck · 5 months
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got that one piece sob
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verstappen-cult · 2 months
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GETTING CAUGHT MAKING OUT WITH THE BOYS | F1 GRID
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INTRODUCING THE BOYS. lando norris. charles leclerc. oscar piastri. max verstappen. alex albon. daniel ricciardo. mick schumacher. logan sargeant. BONUS. . . lance stroll.
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★ — LANDO NORRIS (4)
it stared with a couple of innocent kisses in lando’s driver room before the race. you don’t usually engage in that kind of behavior at least until after a race, but lando was feeling a little under the weather and while you were only trying to comfort him, he had other plans. and, well, if that makes him feel better you won’t deny him a little bit of fun. now, you’re straddling your boyfriend’s thighs, it’s hot and you want to rip your top and his fireproofs off, and lando, as always, is one step ahead of you. his hands slip under your shirt, the pad of his fingers softly caressing your skin as his lips find the pulse point on your neck. you don’t know if the whimper you hear belongs to you or lando, the only thing you know is that the race can wait a few minutes.
���lando it’s time to g–” you don’t hear the end of the sentence because lando’s race engineer it’s too stunned to finish speaking. you’re quick to jump off of your boyfriend’s lap, but you’ve been caught and it’s impossible to deny what you were doing, there’s evidence on yours and lando’s face. the man just laughs and closes the door, saying something about keeping his head clear of any distraction.
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★ — CHARLES LECLERC (16)
you were just trying to help charles clean his shirt after you spilled your drink on top of him. but he was so close to you, his breath tickling your cheek and sending a shiver down your spine, and it just happened. the kiss was shy at first, both of you uncertain of what you were doing. but then you were being lifted up by charles and sat down on the sink, legs immediately parting to make room for him. you didn’t care that you were in dani’s guest bathroom and anyone could walk in on you, you also didn’t care when charles’ hands found your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh while his mouth kept the assault in yours, neither did you care when those same hands lifted your dress up, up and up until you could clearly feel the effect your kisses were making on him.
you were ready to ask charles to do something when the door opened startling you both. charles stepped away and you jumped off the sink, trying to brush your hair and looked presentable to the owner of the house who was now looking at you, surprise written all over his face before bursting out laughing. “guys! you won’t believe this!” it only took a panicked looked between you and charles for the boy to sprint down the hallway to try and shut his friend up.
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★ — OSCAR PIASTRI (81)
you don’t know if australia has something in the air or if being in oscar’s childhood bedroom is making you feel a certain way. but the second the door closes, you’re leading him to the bed. oscar is a little uncertain at first and looks like he’s about to say something, but the words die in his throat the moment your lips find his. he doesn’t wait a minute in taking control, and lays you down on the bed, his body on top of yours. then your impromptu kissing session it’s not enough, you need to feel him closer, you want his hands everywhere.
“would you like some lemonade?” it’s too late for you to pretend to be doing something else than being in an intense making out session when oscar’s mom, the woman you’ve just met that same day, opens the door. when she sees the scene, she quickly closes her eyes, hiding behind her hands. it would make you laugh if it were any other situation. oscar doesn’t move but looks like a deer caught in the headlights. “i did not see a thing!” you would pretty much prefer for the earth to swallow you whole than to face the woman again.
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★ — MAX VERSTAPPEN (33/1)
it’s not max’s fault that you look so, so good in that damn dress that all he wants is to rip it off of you. if the FIA gala wasn’t so important—it’s not. not for him, at least—he would get out of there immediately. instead, he has to settle with crowding you against a wall in a secluded corner of the building when he finally has some time for you. he can barely keep his hands to himself, and is touching you even before you can feel his lips against yours. max whispers sweet nothings as his lips go from your mouth to your neck and then up again, making you feel dizzy. he lifts your dress up around your thighs, and you allow him access in a heartbeat, not caring about anything but how addicting his kisses are.
“ejem,” a cough makes max pull away, and doesn’t hesitate on shielding your body with his, giving you enough time to fix up your clothes. “we’re next.” christian horner tries to look at anywhere but you, and you don’t know if you’re supposed to laugh or feel ashamed. both, probably. max dismisses him with a simple nod of his head, and once you’re alone, max goes back to what he was doing before. you still have a few minutes to spare, he says.
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★ — ALEX ALBON (23)
you were having the time of your life choosing an outfit for a party next week, your boyfriend waiting for you just outside the changing room; you actually were focused on trying to zip up a beautiful black dress you had chosen when the door opened, revealing alex with a mischievous smile on his face. as quick as he opened it, he closed it behind him. you didn’t question him, it’s definitely not the first time he’s done something like this, so, you, more than happy, welcomed him with open arms and a set of pink and plump lips. and alex is immediately swiping his tongue across your bottom lip and kissing your properly—kissing you so slow while gently cupping your face, trying to take as much as he wants from you, and you’re ready to give it to him freely.
“is someone there?” a girl’s voice startles you both, but before you can think of hiding alex or saying something—not that you can with your boyfriend’s mouth against yours—she’s opening the door. neither you nor alex know what to do other than to stay very still and very quiet, as if that would make the girl forget what she saw.
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★ — DANIEL RICCIARDO (3)
you told daniel that hiding in the airplane bathroom to make out wasn’t a good idea, but you still got up and went voluntarily when he gave you the signal. waiting for him to knock was torture, you were pretty sure you were going to get caught. but when you opened the door and your boyfriend pulled you in to finally kiss you, you forgot about everything. the way daniel kisses should be illegal—how he lets you take the lead until your kisses become sloppy and your head feels dizzy and you can’t keep up with it because it feels so good. then he takes control, gripping your waist with such force it’ll leave marks; the mere thought makes you weak in the knees.
“open up! you can’t do that in here.” a huge knock on the door makes you pull away, but daniel doesn’t let you go, chasing after you until you give up and kiss him again. this time the kisses are more intense and the tiny bathroom it’s too warm and you’re wearing too many clothes. the person behind the door is forgotten the moment daniel gets so close that you become one. you’re already in trouble, so, it’s doesn’t matter if you stay a few more minutes in there.
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★ — MICK SCHUMACHER (47)
kissing at clubs is not something you would’ve done in the past, not even when lights are so low and no one cares what the person next to you is doing. but ever since you started dating mick, there are a lot of things you’ve already done that you never thought you would do. and making out in a corner of the club with mick pressing against the window, his body molding into yours just in the right spots is definitely one of them. mick is practically knocking the air out of your lungs with the way he’s kissing you, and you have to hold onto his shoulders afraid of melting to the ground. you don’t know where you are, and you really don’t care as long as mick keeps kissing you like that, so you don’t push him away when you feel his hand making its way up your thigh, getting closer to where you need him the most.
but then you hear people laughing. mick pulls away first, groaning for being interrupted, but then you look around and you’re right next to the bathroom from where a group of girls are walking out. you feel all the blood in your body rushing to your face, they look amused but you want to disappear. you hide your face in your boyfriend’s chest and don’t look up until mick is the one lifting your chin up to kiss you. this time he takes your hand while saying something about going home to finish what you started.
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★ — LOGAN SARGEANT (2)
it’s childish. and all of you are adults. you definitely should not be playing truth or dare in a party like thirteen years old. however, you don’t say anything when oscar dares you to spend seven minutes in the closet with logan. it’s true you both have been dancing around each other for a while now, what you didn’t know it’s that it was so obvious for everyone around you too. the cheering from your friends dies down when the door closes and you and logan are alone. you look into each other’s eyes for a minute, pure silence in the secluded space, then logan glances down at your lips and you suck in a sharp breath when you realize he’s asking for permission. your eyelashes flutter as you take a step closer, and he wraps his arms around your waist without a trace of hesitation. you’re gasping into his mouth the next second, his lips warm and soft. his fingers brush along your jaw and, in that moment, you decide this won’t be the last time you’re gonna be tasting his lips, you want to do it every hour of every day.
but then the door opens and you immediately pull away as if you’ve been burned. there are a lot of eyes looking between you and logan for a moment before someone shouts “fucking finally!” and everyone’s laughing and cheering. when you look at logan again, he has a lopsided grin plastered on his face.
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★ — LANCE STROLL (18)
lance made sure you two were alone in his parent’s house before taking you in his arms and sitting on the couch. he smiles at you with the same bright and pretty smile that stole your heart one time two years ago as you run your hands through lance’s hair, down his neck and over his shoulders, letting them rest on his chest. lance grabs onto your waist and meets your lips halfway, all his body relaxing immediately. he kisses you so softly but determined, licking into your mouth when you give him access, like it’s his last day on earth and he needs you to keep breathing, surviving. you let his hands roam freely over your body and you can feel your heart pounding so hard, almost as if it’s gonna jump out of your chest and you can’t do anything about it. when your boyfriend’s hands graze your lower back for a second before grabbing your arse, a tiny mewl escapes you.
and as you’re about to grind down, “oh my god!” lance’s sister screams in surprise. you both look at her, more embarrassed than afraid. you know your cheeks and ears are as pink as the shirt you’re wearing, and you feel like your skin is actually burning. ”well, i guess we had the same thought.” she says stepping aside, her boyfriend coming into view with a shy smile on his face.
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requested by @biancathecool. . . The boys (individually) Nd fem!reader getting caught making out, with the driver having thier hands shoved down their gfs pants or up their shirt 🫠❤️ Alsin if you could please add lance in this one.
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© VERSTAPPEN-CULT ⎯ do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.
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inktho · 2 months
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IT'S THURSDAY
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disneyprincemuke · 3 months
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the orange peel theory * fem!driver
how many men in her life would stop to peel an orange for her if she asks randomly?
pairings: f1 grid x fem!driver
warnings: -
notes: juSt a random idea i got when i dreadfully peeled oranges for myself ugh i hate being single sometimes
guys this is the last vr update today i swear i’ve got too much times on my hands actually
(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)
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-> max verstappen, #1
would be in the middle of an interview after quali when she comes up to him with a mandarin orange in hand
max stops mid sentence to look down at her in confusion but will take the orange into his hands as she asks him to peel it for her politely
he would cover the mic and whisper “can this wait? i’m in the middle of something” and she shows him her hands, perfectly manicured white nails with a frown and says “i’ll stain my nails”
and he just does it, peeling the orange as he carries on with the interview after she walks away without him knowing
when he finishes, he turns to give it to her but she’s no longer there and ends up eating the orange during his interview lol
-> logan sargeant, #2
he’d be sitting in his garage minding his own business when she comes and sits next to him with a bag of mandarin oranges in hand
he doesn’t even need to be told
he immediately reaches out and starts peeling the oranges for her, even tearing away the white strands because he knows she hates those
totally nothing to do with the fact that he’s had a crush on her forever
everything to do with the fact that they grew up together and he’s too lazy to fight
-> daniel ricciardo, #3
he’s literally just walked into the paddocks for race day
he feels all cool with all the cameras
suddenly she runs over to him with an orange in her hands and a hopeful smile
“peel this for me please?”
he does it without question
he walks the paddocks with her while peeling her orange and even sparks up conversation with her
-> lando norris, #4
literally walks away when he sees her approaching him with an orange
she’s been doing it all weekend and he refuses to be a victim
also because he’s not that fond of peeling oranges
or oranges, for that matter
she tries chasing after him but when she finally catches up, he simply ignores the request to peel the orange for her
-> pierre gasly, #10
he’ll be literally walking over to the grid for the driver’s parade
looking pretty cool in his cool fits
an orange is presented to him without question
he grins at her and thanks her for the orange
walks away and eats the orange himself
-> sergio perez, #11
would also be in the middle of an interview when she comes up with an orange
would peel it because he’s a mega dad and he’s really taken a liking to her
excuses himself from the interview to do it for her real quick
would take one piece of the orange for himself
claims it’s the taxes for making him do it instead of doing it herself
-> fernando alonso, #14
takes the orange without her saying anything
he’s always seen with seb on race weekends and is very used to her antics
literally gives her the orange peel and one piece of orange
eats the orange without her saying anything
she’s in damn near tears because she really expected fernando to peel it for her without question
-> charles lerclerc, #16
is sad that she didn’t bring him an orange too
still peels it for her though
even though he was in the middle of some paddock game with carlos
asks for a piece and because she loves him and her crush is still very much present, she simply gives him the whole orange
-> lance stroll, #18
he’d have been coming out of his racing home minding his own business
they don’t interact often because she scares him
is almost scared to say no to the orange peeling and actually says no
mutters “i always knew you hated me” as she walks away
which then makes him chase her to peel the orange for her and apologise profusely
because lance and her literally never talk and it took up all her courage to approach him with this orange, she gives him half of the orange
-> kevin magnussen, #20
asks her if she's got an extra orange for his baby girl
she literally came prepared and gives one to cute baby laura
so now kevin has to peel two oranges for two babies
outrageous, if u ask him
-> nyck de vries, #21
has unfortunately departed by the time she decided to be a menace about the orange peel theory
she thinks about him often though
they're texting buddies actually
-> yuki tsunoda, #22
literally came prepared
he's got a packet of candy he bought when he flew back to japan for a visit
she gives him the whole orange
she literally peels the orange for him in exchange for the candy
-> alex albon, #23
was literally walking to the grid for the opening ceremony of the race weekend
says no immediately
but he does change his mind and asks if he can have half if he peels it for her
peels it and takes more than half of the share
-> zhou guanyu, #24
is delighted to even see her because they don't come across one another often
is kinda touched that she asked him to peel an orange but then is disappointed to find out that he's not the first victim and that this is all a tiktok trend for her
peels it anyway
asks her to bring an extra orange if there's a next time as payment
-> niko hulkenberg, #27
she literally cannot find him
doesn't get to participate in the trend
she only saw him once that weekend and it was at the opening ceremony and she only had 1 orange for alex to peel
and on the grid in his race car
-> esteban ocon, #31
absolutely ADORES her
peels it without question
peeks around her shoulder to ask if she's brought another one for him
she says yes and that he's the only one who gets one for himself because she loves him back
-> lewis hamilton, #44
this psycho literally approaches lewis when he's on an interview panel
but that's because he asked her to do it at that time so he has a excuse to escape the panel
he's just so tired of the panel interviews
giggling with her like demons as he peels the orange
-> carlos sainz, #55
peels it for her without question
the only one to ask her why she's got so many oranges to eat and hand out
also the only one to ask her if oranges have been the only thing she's eaten all weekend
inhumanly impossible to eat this many oranges in one weekend perhaps
-> george russell, #63
is literally tearing up because she came to him to ask to peel the orange
he heard from alex what she's been doing
he's been waiting all weekend for her and was sad that it seemed like she had no intentions on letting him participate in her tiktok
she feels so bad for him that she joins him in peeling an orange as well
-> valtteri bottas, #77
is confused because he's just minding his own business using his phone during the driver's briefing
peels the orange for her anyway
asks if oranges are her favourite fruit
suggests eating something less acidic to avoid a tummyache
-> oscar piastri, #81
if anyone's tired of her being a menace with all these oranges, it's going to be him
but because he knows she'll pick a fight if he says no
he will peel the orange reluctantly
takes a picture with the orange because it's the same shade as the mclaren shirt he is wearing
— bonus
-> liam lawson, #30
asks her to fuck off
only ask him to peel an orange when she's lost all the ability to peel one for herself
asks her if he can have one from her orange stash
she says no in tears because he cussed at her
shrugs and walks away
-> sebastian vettel, #5
this clinically insane woman has got this 4 time world champion peeling oranges on the pit wall during qualifying
has him throw her a peeled orange in between laps during qualifying
eats it in the car for a racing 'buff' before she drives out for a lap
she's got too many oranges so he helps her eat some of them
eating oranges = beating mclaren = beating oscar because they're all the same colour and have a correlation obviously
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taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @inejismywife @vellicora @leilanixx @meadhgbcavanagh @2bormaybenot @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @love4lando @sadg3 @bborra @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @sadg3
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solar-sunnyside-up · 4 months
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I feel like yall don't know bout earthships??
An earthship is a building that's built out of recycled materials (glass bottles, old tires, cans, etc..) and mostly Cob walls with solarpanels, wind turbines, greenhouses, and large water capture system to ensure all you need within the walls. All these components help regulate the temp for both plants and you creating a proper oasis from all of itnall
Here's a good dissection of one to give you an idea
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The most famous one, and one of the first ones ever made back in the 1970s by a small off grid group working together is The Phoenix which was built as the model for how cool these guys could be its now a place you can take tours or rent-
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But now there is so many different styles and cool ideas for it! Now some of these are merely concepts
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But you can adapt them to any weather for your particular light/weather/energy conditions.
The main thing about Earthships is typically they are illegal to build as the US government considers them waste sites due to the materials their built out of.
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norrizzandpia · 6 months
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The Video (LN4)
Summary: Y/n and Lando’s club dancing sends the F1 world into a frenzy.
Warnings: sexual innuendos, sexual conversations, its short im sorry, if you want something more to this storyline lmk in the requests ill prob do it lol
Note: IVE HAD THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD LONG BEFORE I EVEN STARTED WRITING
TWITTER
ln4andop81 how yall feeling after that leaked vid?
- mclarensgirly FIGHTING. FOR. MY. LIFE.
- f1fan2 if i speak.
- ln4andop81 what shall we address first.
- mclarensgirly maybe the GRINDING????
- f1fan2 PLZ I SCREAMED THE WAY HIS HANDS GUIDED HER HIPS 😫😫😫😫
- ln4andop81 THE WHISPERING IN THE EAR???
- mclarensgirly BRUH I JUST KNOW LANDO SAID SOMETHING SO GODDAMN QUESTIONABLE BY THE LOOK OF Y/N’S FACE
- f1fan2 bro literally moved his hands up to the bottom of her boobs and down and then whispered some crazed shit in her ear and i died. THE PERSON WHO FILMED THAT VIDEO I LOVE YOU 😋😋
- ln4andop81 yeah i think its safe to say that lando norizz is definitely a myth.
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y/nnn so about last night.
Comments:
mclarensgirly ABOUT LAST NIGHT MY ASS
ln4andop81 girly had a whole video of her grinding on her bf leaked and her response is “about last night”. icon.
landonorris i had fun 😙
- mclarensgirly BYE
- ln4andop81 MANS IS INSANE
- f1fan2 so moral of the story lando basically fucked his gf in public and said “i had fun” NO SHIT
- mclaren dont think you understand the pr situation at hand 😀
- mclarensgirly NOW IM DONE FOR
- ln4andop81 MCLAREN ADMIN IS FIGHTING ON THE FRONT LINES RN
maxverstappen this is why i said to not drink too much
- y/nnn YOU PUT THE DRINKS IN. MY. HAND.
- landonorris i think your exact words were “next round on me?”
- kellypiquet i am afraid babe that you did in fact do and say both of those things
TWITTER
Mclarenfan22 its the way lando pushes y/ns hips into him so she can be as CLOSE as possible
- circledriving-racers plz when i first saw that vid i rlly didnt think by the end of it i would know what lando looked like when he was clearly feeling some type of way
- ln4andop81 yeah bc the way he threw his head back when she started circling her hips against his spoke VOLUMES
- papayafan it had ME feelin some typa way and i wasnt even the one getting danced on
- ln4andop81 i feel like its prob for the best the vid ended before we could see them separate bc i feel like we wouldve seen LANDO and not lando if yk what i mean 😟
- papayafan a bone-
- mclarenfan22 we would rlly know EVERYTHING abt him at that point
- ln4andop81 im willing to bet a large sum of money (im broke) that hes big
- y/nnn is this where im supposed to “enter the chat”?
- ln4andop81 MAAM.
- mclarensgirly YES. SPILL THE TEA.
- f1fan2 YEAH DO THE PUBLIC A SERVICE AND TELL US ‼️‼️‼️
- y/nnn i think i would like to gatekeep this one girlies 💋💋
-mclarensgirly wow.
- ln4andop81 ill never get over how it girl she is.
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landonorris it was a great night and thats all i have to say abt it
Comments:
oscarpiastri UHHHHHHH
mclaren we cant catch a break ever
y/nnn BABE THE SIGN 😭😭
- landonorris i thought it really translated my thoughts 🙏🏻
- mclarensgirly BRO DOESNT GIVE A FUCK GAHDAMN
ln4andop81 so i guess the question rlly is: did the sign become reality?
- landonorris what do you think 🤭
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kritischetheologie · 1 year
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Nobody wanted this: every track on Midnights as f1 blorbos and ships. Bonus tracks to follow maybe.
Lavender Haze: sewis (Lewis pov)
Maroon: sebchal (post ferrari feels)
Anti-hero: brocedes (nico pov)
Snow on the Beach: sebmick*
*I mean objectively just pick your OTP. This one's mine.
You're On Your Own, Kid: seb/michael (seb pov)
Midnight Rain: brocedes (both of them think they're the pov and that's why they didn't work)
Question...?: the charles/pierre/yuki triangle in some permutation, maybe. I'm fighting for my life on this one I'll be honest.
Vigilante shit: this song is just bad I refuse to blorbo it
Bejweled: extremely specifically this is EWTRTW seb pov on him and Lewis circa Silverstone into Sochi
Labyrinth: the sebmichael to sebmick pipeline (seb pov)
Karma: martian (mark pov)
Sweet nothing: again, just pick your favorite romantic ship but this is very much how people write sewis in particular
Mastermind: *banging pots and pans* IT'S SICO IT'S SICO extremely analytical nerd4extremely analytical nerd!!!!!! Alternately: bono pov blewis.
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tampire · 1 month
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Yuna finishes off Seymour and his minions by learning the Ga spells a bit too early
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yeahperfect · 20 days
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"I know exactly the colour scheme of the back of that car now."
Oscar being the funniest man on the grid and being annoyed by the fireworks.
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dykepaldi · 6 months
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homestuck was so perfect for autistic teenagers bc it took characters being sorted into categories and having Attributes to its absolute extreme. forget four hogwarts houses, every character has their associated colour their zodiac sign their associated animal their dream planet their god tier class and aspect their typing quirk their pesterchum handle their weapon their planet of x and y, as well as each of them having a handful of other very quantifiable Personality Traits and Interests (e.g. this one is a clown this one is angry this one likes fashion this one is just rufio from hook for some reason) and THEN they all also have their respective ancestors and dancestors(?)(plucked that word from my memory) who have all of those things as WELL
and god not to mention the fucking quadrant system
as a 13-15 year old autistic kid i didnt even need homestuck to have a plot i just happily made a big big spreadsheet of character attributes in my brain
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