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#the fact that im never ever gonna get it from anyone but myself. and im gonna do it bc i deserve it and child/teenage me both deserve it
willowfey · 1 year
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#i am not doing well girlies#disclaimers that i am fine i'm always fine i will always be fine but hooo boy i do not feel fine lol#everything is always overwhelming i am always sad  everything feels itchy#every single morning for weeks ive woken up with an anxiety bellyache and no matter how tired i am still i just have to get up#everyone i look up that i used to know is like. married and having babies or working their dream jobs and i just. im happy for them. i am#but where do i belong in all of this?#i know everything feels worse lately bc we're moving house and the routine changes and empty rooms feel Bad#plus my mom has not been doing well mentally which i feed off so it's just. you know#but will i ever Not feel like im so far behind? will i ever Not be deeply unsettled by even the mildest changes?#everything is so slow and so fast at the same time and it makes my head spin and we have a new friend who has a son my age and i was hoping#idk. that he'd be somewhat similar to me? falling behind a little bit too? maybe i could make a friend irl that understood a little?#but then i casually ask about him and oh no ofc he has a partner and family of his own etc etc#right. that's what i'm supposed to be doing at this age.ha#so many ppl i went to school with are married now. im turning the age this year that my mother was when she HAD me#meanwhile ive never even kissed anyone never even held a boy's hand never had any attention like that ever and#i wonder so often what it's like to be wanted by someone but ive never felt more undesirable#i cant imagine anyone looking at me and Wanting me. and at this point as romance obsessed as i am idk if i could even handle it#and the other night i was having anxiety dreams over the fact that i rly want kids but even waiting until im 30 thats only 5 years??#and 30 is already fucking five years away from being considered a GERIATRIC pregnancy?? but im not even done being a kid myself!!!!#and also who the fuck is gonna have a kid with me?? and who knows if i can even get pregnant when i rarely have a period ??#and i cant imagine not liiving with my mom and sister but does that mean i'll live with them forever??#will i be 30 35 40 45 still feeling like a kid? or worse.. will i not feel like myself at all?#will i be married to someone i dont love madly simply bc im so terrified to be alone?#or will i hold so tightly to my stories and fantasies that i will be alone bc nothing could ever live up to them?#will it even matter what i want? will anyone ever want me to even give me the option? or will this all stay hypothetical forever#im just. stressed. and i thought i'd be more by now.
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remcycl333 · 4 months
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my sp story <3
hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol
but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it
then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!
anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough
and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!
so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality
so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?
if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)
ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!
if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:
it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol
anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.
another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!
so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.
you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.
anyway. back to my sp story!
so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!
anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭
it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha
anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.
with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.
the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d
another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.
and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.
NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!
he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.
anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed
anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3
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juyeonszn · 6 months
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BAD IDEA RIGHT?
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PAIRING lee juyeon x f!reader
WORD COUNT 4.10k
GENRES … smut
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, literally porn with plot. like i’m so insane, enemies to “we fuckin” as reese put it 🥰, frat boy tbz again!!!, juyo is literally so irritating in the first half im not even gonna lie, he’s also a manwhore, making out, reader is a bit of a brat, juyeon has a dirty mouth, kinda dom!juyeon, vaginal fingering, oral (m! receiving), SHOWER SEX !12!1!, he’s hitting it from the back btw, unprotected sex, creampie, juyeon is actually… i don’t even know how to describe him writing his character made me want to claw at the walls lol
SUMMARY deep down you’re fully aware that you’re probably making a huge mistake by giving into juyeon just like every other girl on campus ever has. but paired with how intoxicating his mouth feels on your own and the steam filled bathroom clouding your head, you can’t seem to find a logical reason to stop.
MORE heheheh im back 🤭 oh my god this was actually the cause of a week full of sleepless nights. i genuinely drove myself crazy writing this bc NEED FRRRR like idk i’m so 😭 delusional. ANYWAYS. ANON. THIS ONE IS FOR U. U REQUESTED THIS AND I RAN WITH IT. u wanted more juyeon, i deliver more juyeon ;) also shout out to ally, moni, AND reese for beta’ing 🥺 i love u my cupcakes!! prompt used: 18 <3
PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble
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If there was anyone on Earth that you hated more than anything, it had to be Lee Juyeon.
To put things plainly, he was quite literally the bane of your existence. Being around him made your blood pressure skyrocket and gave you migraines that lasted for days. It was insane how one person could affect you so much by doing so little. It seemed as if he thrived off of getting under your skin.
Considering he was the captain and the pitcher of the baseball team, it wasn’t shocking. He was also a member of one of the most popular fraternities on campus. But he happened to be roommates with one of your best friends, and that made it ten times worse.
You’d known Changmin since third grade, along with Kevin and Chanhee. When he mentioned he’d be joining a fraternity in college, you were a bit apprehensive. All you knew about them was what you’d read in YA books and seen in movies. Neither gave them a good rep. Part of you wanted to talk him out of it, but you knew this was something you had to let him do, given you were adults and it was his college experience. At least you still had the other two under one roof.
The first time you met Juyeon was also the first time you attended a frat party. Changmin had just passed his initiation after waiting a year and he invited all of you to celebrate. You were excited for the most part since high school parties were more for an adrenaline rush due to the fact that your parents never let you go to them and you either snuck out or lied about going. You didn’t have to worry about the limitations of parents this go around.
The boys disappeared almost immediately upon arrival, leaving you to fend for yourself in the very crowded fraternity house. You could hardly pass through a room without bumping into somebody’s shoulder or elbow, huffing as you maneuver around the house equivalent to a sardine can. Your drink nearly spilled onto your top multiple times and you were glad you decided against the heels for the night.
You chugged the rest of the jungle juice in your cup as you stepped onto the patio, where it’s just as noisy and just as packed. You’re lucky enough to find an empty lounge chair near the house’s pool, unoccupied and calling your name. When your legs touch the plastic chair, you flinch at how hot it is, most likely from being in the sun all day.
“Woah, do you want a cushion?”
You look up at the source of the voice. You’ve seen him around campus before, and even at Changmin’s games. Lee Juyeon was just one of those people that you had to know, unless you’d been living under a rock. Just like everyone else in the world, you couldn’t deny how attractive he was. From this distance, you truly understood why girls would giggle like high schoolers over the guy.
“Uh, sure. Yeah, that would be great actually.” You nod, watching as he wanders towards the shed in the corner of the big ass backyard. He returns promptly, holding his red solo cup between his teeth and one hand on your lower back guiding you to a standing position so he could place down the cushion.
“As a thank you, can I get your name?” He gives you a cocky little smile that should’ve been a warning. And looking back on it, you should’ve seen his true personality sooner, to be completely honest. The way his lips curled at the corners, like a conniving bastard who got off on irritating others.
“It’s Y/N,” you say, messing with your empty cup. “I’d ask for yours, but I kinda already know.”
He laughs at that, scratching the back of his neck. “That’s not surprising.” It’s at this point that you’re starting to see through his sweet facade, but despite knowing better— despite always keeping your guard up— you let yourself fall for it just this once. All because you didn’t want to fuck things up for Changmin. He owed you big time.
“Well, you are a talented athlete.” You didn’t want to fuel what is probably already a massive ego, but you’d rather compliment his baseball skills than the fact that he was infamous for screwing around with half of the girls on campus. Technically, that was a feat of its own since he’d only been in school for a year.
“Oh, so you think I’m talented?” He rested a hand on your chair, leaning down to your level. Confidence oozed from every corner of his being and if you weren’t so self aware, perhaps you could’ve ended up like all those other victims of his charismatic behavior.
“I go to the games for Changmin,” you scoff, glancing away from his face to stop the heat rising up your neck. “I’ve only paid attention to you once or twice.”
“Yeah, sure. Let's go with that,” he bites his lip, blatantly checking you out. “I wouldn’t mind paying attention to you a little.”
“I’m unimpressed, Juyeon,” you snort, raising an eyebrow at him. “Does this shit really work on everyone?”
“I can drop the act if you want, baby. Just let me know when you’re ready to stop playing hard to get.” He stands upright, running a hand through his hair.
Every time you ran into Lee Juyeon after that, he was more and more insufferable. He knew his influence on you, too, if his smug fucking grin was anything to go by. You wish you could just slap it off of him. However, you stood by being the bigger person in any given situation, so that was off the table. (And half of you still felt a moral obligation to not get your friend into hot water.)
“Would it kill you to play nice every once in a while? I do live with the dude, you know.” Changmin whines, trailing you in the supermarket like a lost puppy.
“He’s got a point, N/N,” Kevin adds, humming as he tosses a boxed dinner into the cart. “I get that he’s a little bit of an overconfident douche, but rolling your eyes at him when he hasn’t even done anything just makes it worse on you. And JiChang, too, I guess.”
“Bro…”
You weren’t even sure why he decided to tag along with you and the other boys when you mentioned grocery shopping. In fact, he might as well have stayed his ass home if he was just going to gang up on you the whole time. Chanhee sighs dramatically, bringing your shopping cart to a halt.
“Can we not have a peaceful grocery trip? Is that impossible or something?” His lips form a thin line. “I swear, all we do is talk about how much Y/N hates Lee Juyeon. Can we please move on?”
“Thank you, Chanhee, I agree,” you nod along, walking backwards as you do so and ignoring the faces your friends make. “He makes me want to kill myself.”
“Who makes you want to kill yourself?”
You jump up, frightened by the sudden voice in your ear. Your friends all give you sheepish smiles, as if they’d already tried to warn you. (What shitty jobs they did.) With a hand over your heart, you turn around to meet— speak of the devil— none other than Lee Juyeon himself.
“What are you doing here?” Your eyes narrow and your arms cross over your chest. Luck could never be on your side when it came to this guy.
“Uh, last I checked, this was a public supermarket. Where I can publicly shop. I wasn’t aware that I had to run that by you. So sorry, sweetheart.” He pouts, his expression so theatrical you nearly give in to your constant urge to punch him in the face.
You feel your eye twitch, and it takes everything in you to step back and assess just how bad it would be if you committed murder right now. Changmin comes to your rescue, doing damage control as best as he can while Kevin attempts to talk you out of becoming a criminal.
The two frat brothers do their little fraternity handshake thing and then finally he’s out of sight, out of mind, allowing you to visibly relax. Chanhee purses his lips. “Okay, so maybe I do see where the anger comes from. And holy shit, Y/N, you have the patience of a saint.”
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“The person you have called is unavailable! At the tone, please leave a message. When you have finished recording, you may—”
“Goddammit.” You curse, ending the unsuccessful call.
The downside of working far from campus, was working far from campus. You didn’t have your own car and usually relied on one of your roommates for a ride to and from. But now here you are, stranded at work while it’s pouring cats and dogs outside. Kevin was in class and Chanhee wasn’t picking up his phone. You could call Changmin, but you’re pretty sure he also had a class around this time.
Just as you’re about to succumb to your demise, you receive a text from Chanhee.
[2:57 pm] michael jackson: IM SO SORRY AJNSSJNW BUT SOMETHING CAME UP WITH A GROUP PROJECT
[2:57 pm] michael jackson: DONT WORRY THOUGH, IVE GOT IT COVERED UR STILL GETTING PICKED UP
“Could today get any worse?” You mutter to yourself, locking your phone and tossing it into your purse. As if your timing couldn’t be better, you spoke entirely too soon. Your eyes squint at the unfamiliar car rolling up under the carport. Your brows furrowed in confusion, because you had no idea who could be your saving grace. Chanhee was a wild card so who knew who he had on speed dial.
But then the passenger window rolls down and you wish the ground would just swallow you whole. Lee Juyeon grins that stupid fucking grin of his, beckoning you to his car as it unlocks when he shifts into park. You shake your head.
“No way. There is absolutely no way I am getting into that car.” You shout over the pelting rain.
Juyeon tsks, his eyes rolling when he reaches over the center console to open the door for you. “Is there anyone else who would drop everything they’re doing to pick you up in this weather?”
Your lips pull into a flat line. The answer was no, you didn’t have anyone else who would drop everything they were doing to pick you up in this weather. That was the reason Juyeon was here, you supposed. It didn’t mean you weren’t at least going down without a fight, though. Except, Lee Juyeon was a man who was all too comfortable with how expressive you were. Most notably towards him.
“What? Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?”
“Fuck you. I’d rather walk.” You seethe, starting straight in the direction of your apartment. Juyeon groans at first, your constant need to prove yourself getting on his nerves for once. Then his eyes widen slightly when he realizes you’re not joking.
The truth was that the rain was freezing and you’d love to be in the shelter of a warm car. In fact, you didn’t really care that Juyeon was the person driving. But you were too deep into the bit now. You couldn’t just turn around and get in the car, for you had a pride to protect at this point.
“Shit.” Juyeon swears under his breath, reaching into the backseat to grab an umbrella. Sure he loved to tease you and rile you up, but he wasn’t cruel. Your friends would have his head on a silver platter if he let anything happen to you.
You pause in your steps when you’re no longer being showered in rain water. Juyeon holds the umbrella over your head with a worried expression. You feel kind of bad for making him chase after you even though he’d already gone out of his way to pick you up. Sometimes you wish your ego wasn’t so fragile. Maybe then you could accept help when you needed it instead of making things worse.
“Can you please stop being so stubborn and just get in the damn car, Y/N? Do you have to make everything difficult all the time?” Usually, pissing you off made him over the moon, but you can tell he’s not exactly pleased at the moment. You swallow thickly, nodding quietly and following him back to his car.
The whole drive to your apartment is silent save for the song playing on his speakers. It’s not as loud in comparison to the storm outside, but you’re grateful that it’s filling the space between you. If only Lee Juyeon hadn’t done such an excellent job ticking you off like a bomb, then maybe you would’ve just hopped in the passenger seat with ease. But no, he had to goad you until you made an irrational decision and now here you are.
As he pulls up to your building, you say a little prayer that you don’t regret your next actions. He stops as close to the stairs as he can, but you turn to him before unbuckling your seatbelt. With a deep breath, you ask, “Would you like to— uh— come inside?”
He glances from you to the stairs and then shrugs, parking in the nearest empty spot. He holds the umbrella over both of you as you make your way to your unit, lightly sprinting so you don’t get anymore soaked than you already are. You figured the least you could do was invite the dude into your home and offer him some hot tea, just so he could warm up before heading back to the TBZ house. Your roommates not being here to make fun of you was also a plus.
There’s still an unspoken tension even after you’ve shed your raincoats and shoes by the front door, settling into your apartment and its coziness. Juyeon sits at the breakfast bar as you busy yourself with preparing the kettle and getting a couple tea bags. His watchful gaze is a little intimidating now that you’ve seen his serious side.
Once you’ve finished making the tea, you set his mug in front of him. You look everywhere but him when you say, “I’m gonna take a shower if you’re okay waiting out here by yourself.” He doesn’t respond verbally, so you take it as your cue to leave.
You turn on the water to let it heat up before gathering your essentials. When you’ve completed your back and forth trip from the bathroom and your bedroom, you’re finally ready to just relax in your shower and forget about today’s events. But how could you ever truly relax with Lee Juyeon in your space, permeating your peace?
As you’re shutting the bathroom door, a foot jams itself between the threshold and stops you. You glance up from the floor to meet Juyeon’s eyes. They’re darker than you’re used to, a deep shade of brown that has your stomach twisting into knots.
“You know, Y/N, this game of cat and mouse is starting to get old,” he takes a step into the steaming room, locking the door behind him and trapping you. “Just admit to yourself that you want me.”
You sputter at his bold words, because you don’t. You don’t want Lee Juyeon. Why would you want Lee Juyeon? “I’m not gonna lie to myself. I don’t want you.”
He laughs humorlessly, closing the gap between you just a little more. You don’t have it in you to back away from him. He reaches a hand up to tuck some damp hair behind your ear. You’re still wet and cold from your stupid idea to walk in the rain, but Juyeon plans to warm you up perfectly. “You sure?”
“Positive,” you breathe.
“Why don’t we test that theory?” Now he’s got you backed into the wall, his face a hair’s breadth distance from your own. “I have a feeling I can change your mind.”
You don’t know if it’s the heat of the bathroom or Juyeon’s lips being so close, but so far simultaneously that has your brain turning into static. Your head feels fuzzy, like you’re watching TV on an empty channel through a blurry lens. You lick your lips, vision trained on his. “Why don’t we?”
That’s all the confirmation he needs to press your mouths together in a searing kiss, hotter than the temperature of the room. You feel him smile against you when you make no move to push him away, instead carding your fingers through his hair. He groans when you tug a bit, twirling the longer strands around your index.
His hands slip under your top, thumbs rubbing circles into your waist. This is a terrible idea. Deep down you’re fully aware that you’re probably making a huge mistake by giving into Juyeon just like every other girl on campus ever has. But paired with how intoxicating his mouth feels on your own and the steam filled bathroom clouding your head, you can’t seem to find a logical reason to stop.
When you part for air, you both start stripping your top layers, resuming your attacks on each other’s lips once you’re left in nothing but undergarments. Juyeon trails kisses along the side of your neck, nipping and sucking wherever he feels fit. You gasp when he finds that particular spot that contributes to the butterflies fluttering about your stomach. “God, you’re so annoying.”
“Yeah?” And despite getting ready to give you the pleasure of your life, his grin against your skin still manages to irritate you. “You hate me so much, huh?”
“Mhm,” you whine as his fingers dip beneath the band of your panties, toying with your sensitive cunt. “Hate you so bad— ah…”
“You might wanna shut up soon, sweetheart,” Juyeon warns, sliding his ring finger between your lower lips. “Or else I’ll give that mouth something to do.”
“I’ll do whatever I want,” you pull his hand from your underwear, kneeling in front of him when he furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Your nails scrape lightly down his abdomen before hooking into the waistband of his briefs, freeing him from the material. It takes a lot out of you to not visibly react at the sight of his cock, hard and flushed to the tip. You couldn’t dare inflate his ginormous ego, the situation you were currently in already doing enough on its own. His size is impressive too, making you wonder just how he expects you to take him like a champ.
“What a fucking brat,” he hisses, your tongue swiping along the underside of his dick. “Always gotta have the last word, don’t you?”
“Mmmm,” you moan, mouth full with just the tip. You’d never been the type of person who cared about size. As long as they knew what they were doing and made you finish, you held no qualms with their length. In fact, you don’t think you ever even paid much attention to anyone’s dick in your life. But if there was anything to back Lee Juyeon’s cockiness, it had to be, well, his cock.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this moment,” he confesses, wrapping your hair around his hand into a makeshift ponytail. “But, fuck, this is so much better.”
The admission shoots straight to your core and you find yourself whimpering, the vibrations against his dick driving him crazy. He has to support his weight with one hand flat to the wall, the other still tightly fisting your hair. With every suck and flick of your tongue, he tugs a little more, the sting on your scalp providing you with more pleasure than pain. You pull off of him to take a breath, jerking him off as you do so.
“Am I meeting your expectations?” You bat your eyelashes up at him, drool sliding down your chin and makeup smeared under your eyes in tear streaks. He groans at the sight of you, forcing you to a standing position so he could kiss you again.
You start dragging him towards the shower, unhooking your bra and stepping out of your panties. He raises an eyebrow at you, amused. “You want me to fuck you in the shower, baby? Have you slipping all over my cock?”
“Duh,” you can’t help but roll your eyes at his question, practically pawing at his underwear to get him out of them fully. “Did you think I sucked your dick on the bathroom floor for fun?”
“That mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one of these days.”
He kicks them off, reconnecting your lips as you step into the shower. The hot water hits your back almost like a massage, synchronously getting in your mouth as you make out with Juyeon aggressively. It’s like he can’t get enough of you, big hands kneading and groping everywhere and nowhere all at once. You feel insane, especially with how good of a kisser he is. It’s like you’re on cloud nine and nothing’s capable of bringing you down.
When he’s finally lost his patience, he spins you around, pressing you cheek first to the shower wall. You feel him against your lower back, his lips leveling with your ear. In spite of acting as if he had himself under control, you can hear the pant in his breathing, deep voice a little desperate than usual. He has a hand gripping your thigh and picking up your leg.
“No protection?” He asks, his cock already gliding between your folds in anticipation.
“Mm-mm,” you shake your head as best you can with his body sandwiching you to the tiled surface. “Wanna feel you raw.”
“Fuck, you can’t say shit like that to me,” Juyeon groans into your ear, giving no warning as he spits down your front and hikes your leg higher, thrusting into your cunt. “You’ll make me wanna stay buried in you forever.”
You moan, hand coming up to hold the side of his head as he fucks you into the shower wall. If someone were to ask about this very moment, you weren’t too sure how you’d defend yourself. A moment of weakness, perhaps? But if a moment of weakness felt this fucking good every time, you might fall into a habit of judgment lapses.
He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, nibbling and biting your shoulder and the surrounding area with each snap of his hips. The angle he drives into you at has stars forming at the back of your vision, the tip of his cock brushing that one spot deep inside of you whenever he thrusts up. You don’t even think his entire dick is in you as he does this, but you also don’t really have the mind to care, way too focused on memorizing the veins of his shaft with your walls.
You’re far too gone to consider the consequences of your actions, the horizon of your release just beyond your fingertips now. You’d never needed someone so viscerally before, so carnally. Yet here you were, sucking Lee Juyeon’s cock in with your pussy like you were a damn vacuum. The sounds you’re making bounce back and forth on the walls, no doubt louder than the shower water itself.
“I— I-I’m so— fuck,” you mewl, words wobbling. “I’m so, so close, Juyo.”
“Yeah, baby?” He sighs in your ear, nudging your sensitive clit with his thumb while raising your leg as much as he physically can. “Me too, where do you want me?”
“Inside,” you don’t think you even make sense anymore, babbling as he continues to fuck you stupid. “Please. Want you to cum inside me.”
Juyeon grits his teeth, pleased with himself that he didn’t orgasm right then and there. He uses his last ounce of strength to get the two of you off together. “C’mon, sweetheart, cum for me.”
The fogginess subsides pretty quickly after you’ve finished, your brain registering what just happened almost instantaneously. If you weren’t so hypersensitive, you would’ve pulled him out yourself and scrambled to flee the scene. (And maybe even the country.) There are many more rational thoughts running through your head now. The entire trajectory of your life has just been changed, whether you realized it or not. But the biggest issue was:
What the hell do you do now?
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© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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itsukicoded · 2 years
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fandomfix13 · 5 months
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Get Him Back - Rafe Cameron 18+
* HI ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE WRITTEN ANYTHING BUT IM HERE NOW
* TBH THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT SO BARE WITH ME
* This is so super long and also completely filthy at parts SO MDNI and pls read warnings
* little bit of fluff? Def some pretty smutty smut. This did not start out as smut but here we are
* WRITTEN IN Y/N’s POV, lots of dialogue
*anything in italics is your inner monologue
Word count: 4K
WARNINGS: MDNI!, mentions of cheating (not rafe), toxic ex,  oral (giving and receiving), fingering, rough-ish??, p in v sex, hair pulling, light choking??, not rated e for everyone
The rain is pouring down in sheets. Falling harder than it has in a while. My head is pounding from holding back tears, that I might as well let out. I never thought that I would be in this situation. Forced out of my boyfriend's car after a fight at nearly one in the morning, with a dead phone, left to walk home alone in the pouring rain. How cliche. Not to mention the fact that I’m just over three miles away from home. What a dick. Some “man” he is to leave me like that. For all he cares, I could be kidnapped out here. However, it's highly unlikely being that I’m wandering in one of (if not the nicest) neighborhoods in this entire state. Constantly guarded by a neighborhood watch, with gated community after gated community.
 I can see the the sharp rain plummeting down in the glow of the street lights. Unlucky for me, the wind has picked up too making this walk even more miserable. At this point, I have two options; 1. I could continue to walk home in this miserable weather OR 2. I could lose all dignity and show up to Sarah’s house after not talking to her in months. Seeing as this storm is showing absolutely no sign of stopping, its looking like the second option is better. As I turn the corner, I approach the Seabrook Gated Community. A little ways down is the fence that Sarah and I used to hop all the time when we would sneak out. That’s my in. It’s an old rusty fence that is hidden behind some overgrown hedges behind some wildly overpriced house that rarely ever has anyone living in it.         
After nearly slipping off of the slippery fence, I make my way down the street to Tanny Hill. Mentally preparing myself for the absolute humiliation that will occur if Sarah opens the front door. We had our falling out about 3 months ago and we haven't spoken since. We have tried our best to avoid each other at all costs. At least I’ve tried avoiding her, that is, until this very moment. 
As I approach the front lawn, I genuinely consider turning around and quite literally braving the storm and walking home. As it is, I’m already soaked from head to toe and probably on the verge of pneumonia. However, I shake off my thoughts and walk towards the front door. I knock three times in hope that someone will hear. I don’t ring the doorbell out of fear of waking up the entire Cameron household which is the last thing I need to do. After a few seconds, nobody answers. This house is huge maybe they are coming. I convince myself that nobody is answering the door so I turn accepting my fate and I walk away. Suddenly, I hear the front door unlock and my breath gets caught in my throat when I hear his voice. 
“Y/N? Is that you?” Fuck. Me.
“Hey Rafe.” I choke out. God I probably look insane.
“What are you doing here?” he looks at his phone “at 1:26 in the morning.”
“Um. Is Sarah home?” I spit out, trying to avoid conversation.
“She’s not…but I am.” He leans against the door frame looking me up and down in a ‘you good?’ way. “You also didn’t answer my question.” He adds.
“I uh…I didn’t know where else to go.” I say quietly. I was right. This is in fact humiliating. He just stands there and stares at me. Clearly unamused at the fact that I still haven't answered his question as to why I am standing on his front porch looking like a wet dog. I would stare too. “Are you gonna let me inside? Or are you just gonna keep staring at me in silence.” I add.
“That depends.” He says lookin back into the house then back at me. “Are you gonna tell me why you’re here? Or are you just gonna avoid the question.” Touche. We stand here in silence for a moment as he watches me get pelted in the face by the rain and I chatter my teeth. He finally pushes the door open further and gestures for me to come inside. Thank go Sarah isn’t home because I would be shitting myself out of embarrassment right now. I walk in and Rafe opens a hallway in the closet as he reaches in and grabs a towel that he throws at me. “If You get anything wet, Rose will lose her shit.” 
“How kind.” I say with strong notes of sarcasm.
“Hey I didn’t have to let you in. I could've just left you outside on your own.” he’s right.
“Well you wouldn’t be the first guy to leave me outside tonight, so I probably would’ve been fine” I blurt out without thinking. What happened to me tonight is none of his business. Plus I’m sure he will hear about it anyway. However, he did let me inside which he did not have to do, so I could at least pretend to be grateful. 
“Damn. That's rough. Sorry about that.” he almost sounded embarrassed.
“No, it's fine. Thanks for the towel.” he nods and sits down at the kitchen counter. We stand in silence for a bit as I ring my hair out into the sink. This couldn’t be more awkward. Here I am standing in my ex best friend’s house with her older brother, who was in fact my first kiss in a game of truth or dare years ago, and who happens to be the best friend of my boyfriend who just dumped me on the side of the road in the middle of the night. This is just grand. “Do you have a phone charger? My phone is completely dead.” 
“Uh yeah its upstairs. Do you wanna-” he cut himself off before speaking again. “Do you just wanna come up with me so you can change?” Right. So. Apparently this absolutely CAN  feel more awkward. Whatever. I need to charge my phone and honestly a change of clothes sounds devine. I silently follow Rafe up the stairs and into his room. “If you want you can take a shower to warm up. Your teeth haven’t stopped chattering since you got here.” he’s being frighteningly nice. 
“Um sure.” I say hesitantly as I am incredibly confused by his nice attitude. I plug in my phone and Rafe hands me one of his old t-shirts and a pair of booty shorts that were surely left here by some random girl, but honestly I don’t care. I have to get out of these clothes. “Thanks.” I say taking the clothes and entering his bathroom, closing and locking the door quickly behind me. Literally what the fuck. There is no way this is really happening. 
I take my time in the shower as I let the steaming hot water warm me up for a while. When I’m done, I put on the clothes that Rafe gave me, and open the bathroom door seeing him sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone.
“Hey Topper called you like five times when you were in the shower.” He says unfazed. My attitude shifts almost immediately. 
“You didn’t answer it did you?” I blurt out. Nice job y/n! That wasn’t suspicious at all!
“No…why would I?” he laughs clearly confused as I let out a sigh  of relief. Once again. Awkward silence. I take a seat on the edge of the bed going through my phone. “Are you gonna call him back?” he asks. Before I could answer him, his phone starts to ring. Toppers name is displayed on the screen. Rafe looks at his phone, then back to me, then back to his phone. 
“I am NOT here. Answer it. Put it on speaker.” I say frantically. Now he's intrigued.
“Hey Top!” Rafe answers. “Rafe! I fucked up man. I fucked up BAD! I’m coming over. I need a drink asap.” I am immediately shaking my head and mouthing ‘no’. “Top I can’t tonight man. My dad is on my ass and if Rose finds out I have someone over, I’m dead bro.” Is he seriously helping me right now? 
Topper scoffs on the other line. “Since when have you given a shit about what Rose thinks? I’m already on my way!” 
“Then turn around and go home man. I can’t tonight.”
“What is up with you dude? You never turn down a drink” its silent for a minute “Oh shit do you have a chick over right now?” Im disgusted at the change in tone in Top’s voice when he  brings up Rafe having a girl over.
“Yeah bro I do. And she’s alone right now in my bed so I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow.” Rafe responds, very quick to go along with Topper’s question.
“That’s my man!” Topper laughs “is she hot? She better be hot!”
Even Rafe rolls his eyes at Topper’s comment. “Yeah she’s hot. Okay gotta go man.” Rafe responds as he hangs up the phone. Is that true, does he think I’m hot? I don’t care. Do I?
I let out a huge sigh of relief that we dodged the bullet of Top showing up here. 
“So. Are you gonna tell me why I just had to lie to my best friend?”
I shift nervously. “Well technically you didn’t lie. There is a ‘chick’ here and she is sitting on your bed.” I try to make a joke avoiding this conversation at all costs. 
“Y/n.” He says, raising his eyebrows. He clearly wants an answer. 
“I broke up with Top and he didn’t take it well.” I say on an exhale. He doesn’t say anything because he’s not stupid. He has probably figured out that much already. I let out a heavy sigh. “He kicked me out of his car in the middle of the road three miles away from my house in the fucking rain because I accused him of cheating on me. He told me that I had no idea what I was talking about. He said I was crazy, and that I was making shit up. But I’m not. I know for a fact that I’m not. It’s not the first time either. He’s done it before, which I’m sure you already know since you’re his best friend and he probably tells you everything.” I make that realization as I’m rambling my story out to him. Rafe is probably well aware of Topper’s lack of loyalty. 
“I uh. I knew about it the first time.” He admits. His honestly with the situation makes me laugh a little as I roll my eyes.
“Of course you did. Being that it was with your sister. I’d be shocked if you didn’t know.” The look on Rafe’s face instantly changes. It’s almost like he’s holding something back. “Unless…Sarah wasn’t the first girl was she. There was someone else.” Tears that I have been pushing back for weeks start to well in my eyes. Not because I’m sad, but because I’m furious. Even Rafe doesn’t know what to say. Without thinking, I grab my wet clothes and my barely charged phone, and head towards his bedroom door. “I should go. Thanks for the shower and-” 
“Y/n don’t be ridiculous” he says quickly following me. “You can’t leave right now that storm is getting worse” He puts his hand on the door, shutting it. 
I turn and he is standing close enough to me to create an odd sort of tension. 
“Why don’t you get him back?” Rafe suggests as I roll my eyes.
“I don’t want to get back with him Rafe I’m so ov-” he cuts me off.
“That’s not what I’m saying. I mean get him back. As in revenge.” he says as he steps closer to me. Jesus Christ I’m an absolute idiot.
“Revenge…right.” I laugh awkwardly. He continues to inch closer, creating an even bigger amount of tension. Not that tension is an unfamiliar thing with Rafe and I. There has always been a weird tension between us. Ya know…the whole best friends brother thing. I’ve known Rafe for almost 10 years. Something about his cocky attitude has always been attractive to me. Call it toxic. I don’t care. It’s just the truth. Rafe and I are standing right infront of each other. He is towering over me as my back is still to the door. 
“You know…They say that one of the best ways to get over a guy is to get under another.” He almost whispers while moving my hair out of my face. I can’t help but blush. The thought of getting back at Topper crossed my mind the second he cheated on me. The thought of getting back at him by hooking up with his best friend? That’s even better. Rafe leans down and starts to kiss my neck. “Rafe we probably shouldn’t do this” I whisper clearly enjoying it.
“Of course we shouldn’t. But I do shit that I shouldn’t do all the time.” He stops kissing my neck to look me in the face.
“Me too” I nod letting out a breath as I crash my lips onto his. The kiss is instantly filled with an insane amount of intensity. Rafe backs me up against the wall as he deepens the kiss. He moves from my mouth to my neck, leaving hickeys all over. He is making sure that I can’t hide what we are doing. And I’m totally here for it. His hands move from my hair, to my hips, to underneath the hem of my shirt. Well. Technically his shirt. I’m braless since my bra got soaked in that rain earlier. He quickly realizes this as his hand grazes over my tits. He starts to grip them while kissing me, making me moan softly until he stops for a second. 
“As hot as you look in my shirt…it’s coming off” he nearly growls. I lift my arms as he lifts the shirt over my head and throws it across the room. I reach for his shirt to take it off. Once he takes it off his mouth is back on mine. Our foreheads are pressed together as our bare chests are rising and falling against each other. He hoists me up, grabbing my ass as I throw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. We don’t last long against the wall before we move to the bed.
He lays me down on the edge of the bed as he hovers over me kissing me yet again. Each kiss gets more aggressive. We bite each other's lips between kisses. He moves his mouth from my lips to my neck leaving more marks. Slowly, he makes his way to my chests. The marks he makes get darker and darker. He puts his mouth over my nipple, making me moan as he slightly bites down. He quickly moves his hand up to cover my mouth.
“Shhh. Baby we gotta stay quiet.” He says as he moves from one nipple to the other. I moan into his hand as he stifles the sound that comes out. His hand moves from my mouth to my throat as he wraps his hand around it lightly. His lips meet mine again. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” holy shit. I moan into our kiss as his hand is on my throat. His hand travels down my body until its hovering over my shorts. He’s moving his hand from one thigh to the other. Barely grazing the spot where I need him the most. I breathe into our kiss as his hand stops at the waistband of my shorts. He’s such a fucking tease. He hovers his hand there for a minute sensing that I want more. 
“Oh my God Rafe” I moan out of anticipation.
“You want more baby?” he smirks against my lips.
“You know I do” Smartass.
“Say less” he moves from his position above me, to kneeling on the floor at the edge of the bed. He hooks his fingers around the waistband of my shorts, pulling them down, revealing my bare pussy. He pulls me closer to the edge of the bed and spreads my legs in one swift motion, causing my breath to hitch. He leans down and attaches his mouth to my clit. This of course causes another accidental moan to slip from my mouth. I immediately throw my own hands over my mouth to quiet the noise. His tongue is swirling circles over my clit as he inserts two fingers without warning. As hard as I am trying to stifle my sounds, nothing could stop the groan that I let out at this moment. He moves his fingers at a faster pace that matches what his tongue is doing. 
“Holy Shit Rafe.” I whine.
“You like that?” he smirks up at me. I nod and roll my eyes to the back of my head before shutting them tightly. But suddenly Rafe stops. “Open your eyes y/n. I want you to look at me when you cum. I want you to see who is making you feel this good.” I do as he says and open my eyes as I prop myself up on my elbows to get a better view. “Atta girl” He smirks before burying his face into me yet again. He adds a third finger as I throw my head back while remaining eye contact. He curls his fingers as he eats me out and I want to scream at the pressure building up inside of me. I reach forward and tangle my fingers through his hair as he grins up towards me. 
“Rafe! Oh my God” I let out a string of other soft noises and words.
“Go ahead baby. Cum for me,” I look Rafe in the eyes as I jerk my hips and arch my back, completely unraveling in front of him. As he removes his fingers from inside of me, he brings them up to my mouth. “I want you to see how good you taste.” he says as I take his fingers into my mouth until they are clean. He removes his fingers from my mouth and laces his hands through my hair as he devours me with a kiss. 
“That was incredible.” I breathe heavily.
“Oh we aren’t done yet princess.” the sound of him calling me princess was enough to nearly send me over the edge again. 
“I’d hope not” I tangle my tongue with his as he deepens the kiss by pulling my hair back. I reach for his pants and I undo his belt. 
“Eager are we?” he scoffs, pulling away for a moment. He removes his belt and  his pants. Leaving his boxers for me to remove. I gesture for him to sit on the edge of the bed where I just was. When he sits, I climb onto his lap, straddling him over his boxers. I can tease too. I lean in kissing him as I slowly start to rock back and forth on his lap. I can feel him getting harder by the second. To be honest this is doing just as much for me as it is for him. I start to kiss his neck, leaving marks similar to the ones he left on me. I start to rock faster back and forth until he is letting out moans the way I was. I cover his mouth.
“I thought we had to stay quiet.” I give him a sly smile before kneeling on the floor and removing his boxers. I come face to face with his cock as I run my tongue up the side, looking up at him while I do it. I move my tongue to the other side slowly, taking my sweet time. 
“Fuck y/n” Rafe groans as he places his hand in my hair. 
I wrap my mouth around the head of his cock and start to suck slowly, using my hands to work the rest that I can’t fit in my mouth. I bob my head up and down while I look up at him, my eyes are starting to water. He grabs my head and slightly pushes me down further, and I can feel his tip hit my throat. When it does Rafe lets out a deep moan with a mumbled string of “oh fucks”. After a few minutes, I can sense that he is going to cum. I don’t bother asking where he wants to finish before he finishes in my mouth. I swallow and look up at him with a smile.
“Holy shit. You really know what you’re doing.” He lets out a heavy content sigh. “We still aren't done yet. I need to be inside you.” He says laying me back down on the bed. I still cannot believe that this is happening. 
Rafe wastes no time climbing on top of me leaving sloppy kisses up my chest and meeting my mouth with his. “You sure about this?” He looks down at me.
“Never been more sure about anything.” I nod. 
“Good” He says as he grabs a condom from his nightstand and puts it on. Seconds later, he is lining himself up at my entrance. His tongue plunges into my mouth as he enters inside of me. His cock stretched my pussy perfectly. He moves with smooth motions leaving us both moaning into each other's mouths as he starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts. He brings his hand to my throat once again,barely applying pressure, making me let out a moan that was too loud to be stifled. He doesn’t seem to care. 
“You like when my hands are around your neck?” He whispers in my ear.
“Yes! Oh my god yes” I am starting to get louder. He moves his hand from my throat to my mouth to keep me quiet again. I moan into his hand as his thrusts hit the perfect spot inside of me. He can tell that he has hit the spot when my hips start to buck in perfect rhythm with his thrusts. I am almost screaming into his hand. As he leans down to kiss me again. 
“You gonna cum with me?” he asks, pressing his forehead against mine. I nod unable to speak, to stop myself from screaming. “Words y/n. Use your words” 
“Fuck yes. I’m gonna cum!” I whine out. He thrusts in and out a few more times, hitting the spot perfectly making me squirm underneath him. With one final thrust, I arch my back as I scratch my nails down his, definitely leaving scratch marks. We cum simultaneously as we let out deep and hungry moans into each other's mouths. He just gave me the best orgasm I have ever had. He pulled out and laid next to me.
“Holy shit. I’ve waited so long to do that.” he says looking at me out of breath.
“Me too. I always had a crush on you ya know.” I say looking at him equally as out of breath.
“Yeah I know.” He smiles and lets out a soft chuckle.
“Took you long enough to do something about it.” I laugh back.
“Thank God I did. And I plan on doing it again. Just so you know.” I winked at me 
“I’d hope so.” I smile, laying there next to him. He was right. That was the best way to get over someone. 
** hi! I really hope you liked this. If you did and want to see more let me know what you want to see! I had fun writing this and in my many many years of writing fanfics this is somehow my first time writing smut so I hope it was okay lol ❤️
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starkeyboy · 9 months
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coward. | conrad fisher x reader
as series that i’m gonna try and go with! THIS HAS S2 SPOILERS
enjoy ;)
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part. one.
i took a deep breath. it’s been 2 years since everything happened. i left cousins for the summer and never came back. not my choice, it was my parents. they got a divorce and my dad could no longer afford the house down here. but here i was. back in cousins. in front of a house i once called home. i barely ever stayed at mine. this was more my home than what my parents bought, and here i was.
my hand was so close to knocking, one millimeter away when i backed out. i didn’t deserve to see them anymore. i left them without even saying i was. true fully, i didn’t know i wasn’t coming back till my dad broke the news that he was selling it. but i have conrad’s number, and i didn’t have the nerve of telling him.
i took a step back as i admired the door. i couldn’t bring myself to knock or ring the doorbell. i really couldn’t. they would be mad at me. they would ask me all these questions when i barely knew the answers myself.
i was a coward. and once again, i left.
i was at rosie’s, getting some pies for something that my dad wanted to throw for the first summer back. i was able to avoid the fishers and the conklins for a few weeks now and yes, it’s hard. the amount of times i was gonna knock on that door or purposely go get muffins in the early morning, just maybe running into jeremiah or conrad, or maybe even steven and belly. but i decided against it, i can’t do that to them. i don’t deserve them anymore.
jeremiahs pov
“was that your stomach?” i said laughing and looking at belly. she glared at me and chuckled.
“i haven’t eaten since this morning jere,” she said.
“rosie’s is just off the road,” i suggested and she nodded like crazy.
“i think i’ll get-”
“blueberry” we both at the same time, we laughed and ordered our pies.
as we were waiting, i saw someone familiar looking at the fruits. i squinted, trying to focus on who that was. my eyes widened as i pulled belly away from nicole.
“what the hell jere?” she brushed me off and apologized to nicole but i only shushed her as i pointed to the girl. “it’s that?” belly looked at me in shock.
“y/ns back” i said as i immediately moved away from belly and ran over to y/n.
y/ns pov
i got startled when a hand was put on my shoulder and turning me around. but when my eyes connected with jeremiah, i stumbled back. how did he find me? was he just here conveniently? oh god…was conrad here? i looked around him for a second when my eyes connected with belly.
“y/n, i can’t believe your back!” i looked back at jeremiah as i was still in shock.
“what? oh yeah, im back” i laughed awkwardly. i looked around again, to see if conrad was here but i saw no one else. just jere and belly.
“are you looking for someone?” belly said as she walked over to us. i looked at them again and shook my quickly.
“huh? no no, absolutely not looking for anyone.” i said as i looked at the fruit. “just looking at getting some more mangos” i again, i laughed even more awkwardly.
“are you okay? you don’t seem like yourself,” jere said. these were the questions i was talking about. soon there’ll be; where did you go? what happened? are your parents okay? how are you dealing with the divorce? which they probably don’t even know about the divorce.
“i’m fine, completely fine.” i said as i smiled. it was a relief seeing them tho. after all these years, they barely changed. other than the fact that jere has muscular arms now and belly has no braces or glasses and a grown women’s body. “what are you guys doing here?” i asked.
“belly’s hungry and not gonna like, i am too. we’re trying to find conrad,” jeremiah said as soon as belly jabbed him in the ribs. i furrowed my eyebrows. trying to find conrad. i thought i saw him at the store a few days ago.
“what do you mean? is he not with the family this year? i saw him at the store,” i told them as belly’s eyes lighted up but jeres down casted to me.
“did no one tell you? conrad didn’t tell you?” he said as he repeated himself.
“what do you mean, tell me? what was he supposed to tell me?” i questioned as i grew more worried. was conrad okay? was he in danger at the store that whole time and i ignored him?
belly and jeremiah looked at each other and sighed. jere put his hand on my shoulder as he brought me close. “moms gone y/n. susannah is gone.”
i don’t think i’ve felt my heart break more than it did in that moment. i felt tears spring to my eyes. i shook my head and i denied them.
“she’s not gone jere,” i whispered. “i swear, she can’t be,” i broke down. jeremiah held me close to him and he let a few tears roll down as well.
i was behind jeremiah and belly as we drove the summer house. i guess those times of me almost knocking on the door was bad idea. no one was home. other than conrad but he wouldn’t have answered, he can’t even answer his phone.
when we pulled up jeremiah jumped out the car and pounded through door yelling for conrad. i got out and walked behind belly, slowly. i saw jeremiah talk to someone and knew immediately that it was con.
“jeremiah, the house is being put up for sell.” he said calmly as he put his hand on his chest to push him back. belly looked confused as she came to his vision.
“what do you mean it’s for sell?” she said as she looked at him.
“what is she doing here?” he said as he looked at jeremiah. i finally walked into the room last and i locked eyes with conrad after 2 years. it was like i could finally breathe. he was right in front of me. he looked at me softly and his eyes teared up.
“y/n?” he whispered as jere pulled belly towards him. moving her out of the way gently. i nodded and he walked to me and hovered his hands over me.
“it’s me connie,” i said quietly. that was what got him. and me. he pulled me into a hug immediately.
“i needed you”
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hoffmans-trophywife · 5 months
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Adam Stanheight x reader? Like how Lawrence describes his daughter & wife, have Adam describe his relationship with the reader.
Hope you like it, anon! <3
Best Thing In My Life | Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x Reader
Summary: You carry Adam's baby and the position of the best thing in his life
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The time in that bathroom seemed like it would never end, Lawrence and Adam were still trying to understand what they should do to get out of that trap without physical harm. They had already understood that they needed to cut off their own leg that was trapped in chains, but where would they get the courage to do something like that? Lawrence looked at the photo of his family tied up there, helpless, not knowing what he could do to help Alison and their daughter.
“I feel horrible that i can’t help them. Alison and Diana are everything to me. I know i made a mistake cheating on Alison, but i love her since we met years ago. She is the woman of my life.”
The doctor lamented, he didn't even have enough water in his body to shed tears.
“I wonder if they did something to Y/n like they did to them.”
Adam said leaning against the wall, inside he was in pure despair, but he tried to hide it as much as possible, he didn't want to appear weak, no matter how weak he was.
“Y/n? Your relative?”
He asked.
“Something more than that. She is the best thing in my life. Is my girlfriend. I don’t think they would have the courage to do anything to her.”
“If they did something to a child like mine, why wouldn’t they do it to your girlfriend?”
Lawrence asked and Adam ignored his rude question.
“She is not alone. She's pregnant, carrying my baby. I was dedicating myself so much to photography to support both of us and him or her.”
Adam ran his hand over his face, starting to cry. Lawrence was silent for a few seconds before sighing, he was a little shocked now, Adam is gonna be a dad, just like him. If they were close to each other, they would definitely have hugged each other at that moment.
"I'm so sorry."
“I... She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was bullied a lot in high school for being introverted, she was a new student, in the first week without even knowing me she helped me and stopped them from hitting me. She started hanging out with me and even though she was teased for being pretty and hanging out with a "weirdo" like me, she never stopped. After that i started to look at her like the wonder woman of my dreams, we've been together for 7 years and counting, in fact i was planning to surprise her and ask her to marry me, until i ended up here. She probably came home and saw everything set up, but she didn't saw me there. ”
He explained with a sad face.
"Don't worry. We’re going to get out of here and you’re going to see her again. I want to see my family too. Alison and i are not what we used to be, but i know she still loves me as much as i love her, the feeling may have cooled, but our love for Diana can overcome everything. My little girl is such a miracle in our life, she is so smart and curious. Just like her mother when was a teenager. I'm so proud of my baby”
Gordon said smiling, Adam started running his hands through his jeans looking for something, until he took a photo out of one of the pockets and showed it to Lawrence.
“Look look, at least he didn’t take that from me.”
Lawrence couldn't deny it, she really was very beautiful and had a magical smile that could easily charm anyone who passed by her. The photo showed her and Adam together holding a pregnancy test in one hand and a photograph of an ultrasound in the other hand, smiling extremely happily as a couple in love should be.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she? She is the love of my life, she is everything to me, she is the thing i am most grateful for having in my life. My family never supported me in being a photographer, unlike her who always helped me despite all the judgments. Being with her every day makes me happier and warms my heart, it's like im in paradise and she's my goddess. ”
Adam said smiling silly caressing the photo, the blonde laughed.
"Do not laugh. Lawrence, im really scared i'll never leave here and i won’t be able to see her again.” He admitted, frustrated.
"Ok ok, we going to get out of here, we’re going to find a way to do this, you’re going to find your wife, even if i leave first and come back for you.”
"You promise?"
“I promise you, Adam.”
Final note: please, reblog if you liked! 💖
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ryefieldshiningsun · 3 months
Text
im not as aroace as i thought i was and i think the confusion is getting at me.
i dont know where else to post this, sooo if youre not interested in aroace and personal life stuff, feel free to ignore this post.
basically, ive identified as aroace for over two years, and coming to this realization wasnt always easy. but it was an important realization. it felt right and i didnt think i would ever gain genuine romantic/sexual feelings towards anyone. sometimes, it made me feel a bit lonely, because i kinda hoped to have that kind of a wholesome connection with somebody. but im not that kind of a person.
or at least i wasnt? and maybe what i thought about myself was a lie, all this time? there has been instances in my life where ive experienced something close to romantic feelings towards a few people, but i was never really comfortable with acting on them or pushing it any further. lately, ive realized that the reason behind that might have been my horrible self confidence - the fact that i didnt like myself for a long time and saw these potential love interests as superior to me. like i was just not enough.
but now, perhaps for the first time in my life, i think i have actually started to slowly appreciate myself and like who i am as a person. i think im comfortable with who i am. and perhaps this was the thing i needed to break that ice between recognizing my romantic feelings. ive realized that i started crushing on somebody, in a really honest way that ive never felt before. those feelings are really nice, actually. i didnt think that i would ever go on a date, but i did and it was great. however, i cant help but feel the weight of accepting that my identity has changed.
for the past few weeks, having this silly little crush has made me feel really excited and happy tho. despite the fact that it probably wont lead anywhere, this whole thing is something i certainly didnt expect to happen to me this year.
i really needed to vent man... for now, i think im gonna take a break from using any labels besides the fact that im still somewhat queer i guess (liking both men and women).
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camojacketfag · 5 months
Note
when do you stop feeling like you're waiting for your life to start? im 22 and ive accomplished nothing, it feels like im at a standstill.
Well, for starters, I had a breakdown in a meijer parking lot at 8:15pm yesterday, sobbing to boygenius as I was telling myself that I’ve paused my life for the past four years to try and heal from crippling childhood trauma and therefore I haven’t really had the chance to truly have fucking fun and live life man.
My 20s have been a lot of healing and slowing down as life continues to move past me so fucking quickly. I told myself I was gonna have fun this year and instead I got my heart broken, I relapsed in my OCD, I cut ties with a shit therapist who invalidated me time and time again and I played far too many video games. Through out it all I also lost so many friendships who don’t fully understand how debilitating OCD truly is and my current social life consists mostly of imaginary conversations I have inside my head. But hey, we’re still fucking kicking! What really defines an accomplishment man? Whose timeline are you comparing yourself too? Most of the lives constantly being lived so publicly are led by neurotypical people with such big opportunities very different from lives like ours man. Therefore you’re doing yourself a disservice to try and compare your life to theirs. Acceptance is the hardest pill to swallow. I truly despise patience. Yet I also have to come to terms with the fact that I move at a much slower and methodical pace than everyone else around me. I know in the long run I’ll be grateful I decided to heal now as opposed to later but I still feel so fucking robbed man. Of time. And opportunities. And life. Time that I may never get back. Time in which others my age spent developing their careers or social relationships, I was stuck in my little room listening to sad lesbian music and having no one around but my dog and the obsessive thoughts that felt intensely unavoidable. I’d say life, or at least the life you’re talking about, will never truly start man. That life is just a piece of fiction. I guess what I’m trying to say is that life has already started, it’s just waiting for you to notice. Your perception is just warped, much like mine, but I know that although I can list all of these awful things that have happened over these past four years, I know that nudged somewhere in between it all, I’ve still lived. I saw some sick ass concerts, I gave myself my first stick and poke, I got drunk and shared to much, I allowed myself to question love and it’s mechanisms and meaning, I started a photo blog and have steadily worked towards creating what I see everyday in to something others can relate or come back to, I got punched in the face, I busted my lip trying to open a bottle of vodka, I drank to much caffeine and felt like I’d ascended to a higher state of consciousness. After I relapsed, I felt broken man. So much new trauma I’d have to go back to and stitch up all caused by trusting a professional who only made me believe that my own personal experience of the things I’d gone through was actually wrong. Yet somehow, it ended with me finally believing myself once more. And vowing to never let anyone make me feel like she did ever again. 11 years of trauma and hard work doesn’t deserve to be so easily destroyed just because you have a degree and I don’t. Still, I believed myself again. I believe myself now. And I know going forward that if we continuously compare ourselves to lives being lived that will never cross paths with ours then all we’re gonna do is spend eternity wondering when it will ever finally fucking begin. I promise you, it already has, and although I don’t know you, and you might believe that it’s been more bad than good, or that it’s not as valuable when compared to others achievements at your age, it’s still yours, and there’s still time, and it’s always been there, it’s just waiting for you to notice.
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thebisexualdogdad · 1 year
Note
hi! love your writting, super glad you're keeping the male reader tag alive- there's so few of those out here.
prompts:
39. tell me something i dont know about you
+ "when im with you i feel like myself. i feel like every side of me is present and accepted. and i feel good about it- i feel good about who i am when im with you"
with Stiles x ftm reader?
fluffy & a little hurt comfort-y, with Stiles letting the reader know that despite dysphoria, he sees him exactly the way he wants to be seen.
thanks!
Stiles Stilinski x FTM!reader
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You and Stiles had been friends since you were in diapers, your dads worked together so when they found out they were both expecting kids around the same time it was basically fate that brought you two together.
You finally started dating your freshman year of high school, Stiles had been crushing on you since kindergarten after all and Scott was the one who talked him into actually telling you how he felt but two years later when you were ready to come out as trans he was who you were most terrified of telling.
You're laying in his bed, just cuddling and listening to music, weeks have gone by and you still haven't found the right words to tell him the truth.
"Have you ever thought about how crazy it is that we've literally known each other our entire lives?" Stiles states.
"No one knows me better than you do," you reply despite knowing you have a huge secret you're keeping from him.
"There has to be something left to learn still, come on Y/N tell me something I don't know about you," he chuckles.
You're silent for a moment, Stiles believing you're just thinking really hard to find some weird obscure fact about yourself but finally you reply with, "when I'm with you I feel like myself. I feel like every side of me is present and accepted and I feel good about it- I feel good about who I am when I'm with you."
"Woah that was unexpectedly deep, where did that come from?" Stiles laughs.
You sit up, Stiles suddenly getting concerned at the change of energy in the room.
"There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while now and I don't know how you're gonna take it," you say nervously.
"Hey, you know you can tell me anything," he says rubbing your arm to try to comfort you.
"Stiles… I'm trans," you blurt out.
Stiles looks at you for a moment trying to process what you said, "okay… can you tell me what that means exactly for you?"
"I uh… never really felt like a girl you know even as a kid but it wasn't until about a year ago when I realized that what I was feeling was gender dysphoria."
"So you're a guy?" He asks.
"Yeah I am," you say looking away from him assuming he wouldn't want to be with you anymore.
Stiles puts his hands on your cheek and gently tilts your face to look at him again, softly kissing you.
"You aren't mad at me?" You question.
"Of course not," he assures you, "I love you, I have since we were five years old and nothing will ever change that. I see you for exactly who you are and if you say you're a guy then that's awesome, no matter what I will always love you."
You just smile and kiss him again, feeling the love radiating off of him.
"Have you told anyone else?" He asks.
"No you're the first person I wanted to tell."
"Do you want me to be there when you tell people cause I will fight anyone who doesn't support my boyfriend," he says.
"I like when you call me that," you chuckle.
"You mean my boyfriend? Better get to used it cause I'm going to be telling everyone that I have the coolest boyfriend in the world," he smiles, pulling you in close and laying you guys back in the bed to cuddle again.
Of course it took him some time to adjust but he really was the rock in your support system and even spent an entire week pulling all nighters researching how to be the best ally and partner to you.
He was there for you when you told your parents and your friends, he helped you picked out a new name and was always the first to correct anyone who used your dead name or the wrong pronouns.
You couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend.
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ego-meliorem-esse · 5 months
Note
Matthew
4 , 6 ,
12
4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?
The main thing I always come back to is the use of mustard gas during the Great War. This is not only something Matt witnessed, but experienced, having been part of the regiment that was hit the hardest. He lost his sight completely for almost 3 months. Usually nations heal fast, not this time. Not for Matt. The lad spit out bloody bits and pieces of his lungs, while having absolutely no idea whats going on, on account of losing his sight. Blind, sick and vomiting he heard his boys scream in agony all around him. A ring around him of pure hellfire. Only fire would have been preferable.
6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?
Im not gonna repeat the last answer, instead I'll say this:
The quiet ship ride from Quebec to London in 1763 is one of the most frequent themes. It isn't even the defat or the loss of his father that pops up, but a specific scene he either remembers or made up completely to cope.
The dream always starts the same: a distant vision of his port from a seemingly British vessel whose distance keeps increasing. He turns around and one officer is watching him uninterested. He turns his head after a few seconds, wondering if they stacked enough food for the journey, or if the hammock he sleeps in needs stitching up. His mind never crossing over the fact that the boy's entire life (who is sitting opposite him, covered with a hole ridden blanket) is behind him and gone. No one knew or cared. Matthew can remember that in this dream he couldn't stand. He knows that he could and did stand, he even walked around some, keeping a distance from every human he could see. But in his dream, he simply could not. One moment he looks over in the direction of the shore, where the sight of a peaceful landscape of his home greets him. An unfamiliar voice calls him and he turns around. This is where the line between dream and reality gets very sharp. No one is on the ship. He quickly turns around as to not miss the departure. No land in sight. A storm is coming. He does nothing. He can do nothing.
12. In what situation was your character the most calm they've ever been?
I could give at least 5 examples (for Matt?i knowww, a lot) but i think what stuck with him is either a young Alfred sneaking into his bed a month into Matthews arrival into the British empire. Curling up beside him, despite the boys being unable to communicate, on account of a language barrier. Matt was definitely better at English, than Alfred at French at that point, but still. They understood each other. From the first moment. And this was just a confirmation to Mathieu (now Matthew).
Or it could be in the late 1880s, where he had to watch over a young Jack and even younger Eleanor, while their father was entertaining guests in the country mansion not too far from London. He remembers being showered with questions. Questions both Jack and Zee believed only Matt would know the answer to. He remembers them calling for him when their governess put them to bed. Matthew is good at being a safe space, he is okay with that. That is something he is very content with. He never felt needed, or safe like this.
He felt very calm that night.
Haha i made myself cry how cringe is that :))))))
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justalilpearlie · 2 months
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Introduction/Fun Pearlie Facts
Was abt time I did one of these.
Hello everyone, my name is Pearl, Pearlie or Sam/Sammy if you're feeling like it. Friends also call me Martini sometimes.
I am a minor, my labels... we dont talk about them (fem presenting ftm gay/mlm + trying out gendervoid and verinix + bigender??) uhmm and I go by He/She, tho mostly He/Him by strangers- I can She/Her myself and close friends/mutuals are allowed! (I also go by neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)
I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.
I got the 'tism and the adhd, aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)
- -🌄-📀-🌙- -💚- -💛- -✨-🌄-✨- -💛- -💚- -🌙-📀-🌄- -
I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)
I like to roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are Life Series (+ evo + new life), Empires1(+ a bit of e2) and FNaF! (i dont rlly like the books tho lol..)
I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any fellow lifers or empires ppl, hermits aswell!! Tho I havent finished s8 or s9 yet...
Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!
- -💥-🐺-🌙- -❤️- -💛- -✨-💥-✨- -💛- -❤️- -🌙-🐺-💥- -
DNI prefferably:
- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)
- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.
- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.
- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much
CCs interact at your own risk. This is my domain, cyan man & moon lady. /hj
- -🪸-🐸-🌙- -💙- -🩵- -✨-🪸-✨- -🩵- -💙- -🌙-🐸-🪸- -
"Disclaimer"
- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref
- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp life series/empires u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.
- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.
- -🌸-⛰️-🌙- -💚- -💙- -✨-🌸-✨- -💙- -💚- -🌙-⛰️-🌸- -
Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)
Family! <3 🌼@pehpurr* SISTER!! super duper cool, her art is great and you should check it out!! YOU. You're the brightest little girl (i say like ur not older than me) I'VE EVER MET ACTUALLY! You're so passionate and loving I freaking adore you!! I love you so much Scar, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, Kanny &lt;3 ⚙️@gentlexmadman DAD!! you are my daaaad, you're my dad! woogie woogie woogie! ANOTHER amazing artist! mr "I know that guy-", very funny, Henry "Autism" Emily... the copper king, my father. Speaking to you is always comforting. Love you so much papa, you're amazing :)
Simply special <3 ☕@insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love spending time with you guys and playing stuff together, you mean a lot to me and I'm so glad I met you. I hope we're still close for this year and many more! You're incredibly talented, not only at art, at everything you do. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊Jack***, oh my dear Jacky, where do I even begin, sport... you really are my other half. Mi media naranja if you will. haha.. I love every second we spend together, I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and goofiness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. <3
New friends! 🍓@strawberrystarfield I know we met fairly recently but you're all incredibly fun to talk to, your art is also amazing, your accent is real pretty (cough for a bri-💥), you're real sweet and I love reading all your thoughts and critiques about things :} (love ya Aspen /gen) 🏜️@fagdykegtws My right hand man! I know we just met through the rarepair server but oh my god we're in the same brainwave!!! You're so fun to vc and chat with and you got the best ideas ever fr fr, love ya Chewy, you're real sweet even w how lil i know you ;)
That's it folks, love yall and see you around!
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mxlktxa · 1 year
Text
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Old Days
┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. 。˚   °
pairing; (teen!)joel miller x (teen!)reader
summary; reminiscing and dreaming about older memories is always fun. especially when they were ones that paved the way for where someones stands. whether the memories were positive or negative. lively or miserable. as long as they held a special someome they have today.
warning; 18+/suggestive scenarios, language, mentions of abusive behaviors/acts, drug usage, self harm, use of tobacco
word count; 3,127
author note; i wanted to try a little something but im extra nervous about this one… someone pls help me better my writing, i beg
┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. 。˚   °
❀ 6
Who the fuck was this child and why on God’s green Earth was he staring at me so hard? With a smile and holding a flower out to me, like a total loser. An adorable loser.
“Hi,” he giggled.
I stared him down, eyes squinted at the flower in his hand. He stepped forward and pushed it out to me, causing me to jerk back, humming softly.
“My name’s Joel and I’m six.”
Fuck you, go away.
“Y/N. I’m six too.”
“Do you want this flower? It matches your shirt.”
Why are you being so nice to me? And how did you fine a yellow flower in this almost completely bland park?
“Okay,” my little hand reached for the miniscule plant, cautiously taking it. The boy named Joel giggled at ran away from me.
“I’ll find you more!”
Why? Don’t do that. Strange boy.
“Okay,” I kinda just stood there, watching him run around the playground for his flower finding mission, “You’re weird, Joel.”
___
❀ 16
“Fuck you, y/n. You’re nothing but a washed up slut. Nobody would even think to love you.”
“He said that to you?”
“Yep. My own father. To his sixteen year old daughter. Crazy, isn’t it?”
“Y/N… We need to get you out of there.”
“Oh, please, Joel. I’ve had worse. Done worse. I’m pretty sure I can make it just a couple more years in that house.”
“Or I could just ask around for you, see if anyone is willing to let you stay with them.”
“Joel. You and Tommy need to chill out. I’m gonna be fine. Swear,” I knew I was lying to these boys. But I couldn’t show them that I was weak.
Joel couldn’t take his eyes off me, staring down at my bruised rib area and cut up legs. Huffing, I swung myself off of the table, kissing Joel’s cheek and heading toward the swingset in front of us.
“Where is Tommy Boy anyways? Home?”
“Yeah. He’s just having a tough day today but he should be fine by tomorrow. We can all go to the movies then too.”
“Oh, fuck yeah. Ugh, so excited! I wonder who’s gonna chicken out for the movie first. I bet you it’s gonna be Tommy.”
“Tommy don’t like scary movies, you know that.”
“He’s gonna have to learn to,” I laughed, running my hands along the cold metal chains that held the swing up, “Come push me, Joey. You’re always so serious.”
___
❀ 17
School. Never liked it. Not one bit. I never really had friends, wasn’t known by anybody. If anyone did know me it was because I was the kid known for skipping class to hide out and smoke in the bathrooms or an abandoned classroom, the girl that sleeps with any guy she wanted, the freak who just looked like she was in a cult so she must be. I only ever had Joel and Tommy. Even if Tommy was younger and wasn’t even on the same grounds as Joel and I.
Well they had one thing right. I skipped class to smoke, that was a fact even teachers would agree to.
“You are so high off your ass right now. Aren’t you?” Joel sounded angry at my current situation, arms crossed and eyes filled with annoyance and rage.
I looked back at the doorway from the corner I popped myself into, giggling and waving to Joel, “Don’t worry, Big J,” I cooed, taking a quick puff and exhaling, “It’s only a cigarette this time. How’d you find me, Boyo?”
Joel snarled in disgust, marching over. I quickly pulled my shades down and tugged down on my sleeves, looking back into the wall.
“I understand that this is some sort of stress reliever for you, Y/N, but do me just one favor and quit it until school ends for the day.”
I looked down at my shoes, ignoring how upset Joel seemed, though it was hard since he was right beside me, tapping his foot on the ground and burning holes into the side of my skull.
“Joel. Now isn’t a good time.”
“No? Because you were just all happy-go-lucky when I found you.”
“Because I didn’t think you’d find me anyways.”
“You choose the same three abandoned rooms, Y/N. It’s not hard,” he huffed, snagging the cigarette from me and putting it out, “Let me see em’,” Joel demanded.
Shit. I’ve known him for too long then. Way too long. Not even Tommy understands that sunglasses and baggy clothes hides the damage done from a day ago. Maybe even hours ago.
“Joel. Please.”
“Please, just let me see.”
Silence. Joe wasn’t even mad anymore just upset and heartbroken. Simply because I didn’t want to hear his quivering voice anymore, I pulled back my sleeves and lifted the sunglasses. Joel immediately huffed and his knees nearly buckled.
“Cigarette burns? More cuts? A bruised, swollen lip? Fuck, Y/N!” Joel held back his crying, gripping my arm and shaking his head.
“Joel, please,” tears pricked my eyes, falling down after I looked away from him, meeting the corners of my lips, hesitant of falling from there, “I know it’s bad, I know. But I have nowhere else to go. My grandparents on either side don’t care to even check if I’m still breathing, I have no friends but you and Tommy, and I have no money and no help to move on my own.”
“I’ll beg my mother to take you in.”
“Joel, your mother will end up in jail for a kidnapping, no.”
“There has to be something!”
“There isn’t! Joel! There’s nothing!” I broke down, shooting up from the chair and pounding on his chest.
Fuck. I’m crying and screaming at him. Maybe I’m not all that strong. Not even a good friend. Sucks to be me, I guess.
One hand landed behind my head, pulling me into his chest, the other on my back, creating small circular motions. Gradually, we ended up on our knees, Joel comforting me and kissing my forehead, plenty of times.
“Let it out, Y/N. It’s okay.”
“Fucking help me, Joel.”
“I will. Me and Tommy will do anything any everything to help you.”
“Please. I’m begging you.”
___
❀ 19
“Joel! Joel, Joel, Joel!” my feet were forcing me to charge over to Joel, jumping on his back and covering his eyes.
“Woah! Y/N, slow it down. What’s going on?” Joel chuckled, carefully pinning me between a wall and him.
“First of all, I haven’t smoked a single cigarette since graduation, so congratulate me.”
“I’m proud of you, sweetheart, good job.”
“Second, I got excepted into college, another congrats, let me hear it!”
“Wait, what? You’re serious right now?“
“Unnecessarily serious.”
“Get off me right now,” Joel got serious so suddenly, it was kinda scary. He stepped forward, letting me drop down, turning to me with a straight face. For a second, he looked at my face then chuckled and pulled me in to kiss my forehead.
I sighed in relief, holding onto his wrists and he was now aggressively smashing his lips on my forehead, eventually pushing me into the wall.
“My baby! Look at y-, you smell like weed,” Joel raised a brow and ceased the kisses, still cupping my face with both hands. I gave a nervous smile, knitting my brows.
“At least it wasn’t a cigarette?” a nervous laugh was thrown in, watching as Joel shrugged and recommenced with the kisses.
“So, does this mean you’ve a dorm now? Or do you still live with them?”
“I have a dorm, don’t worry. I just… Hope my roommate is nice.”
“Me too,” Joel grinned, resting his forehead on mine. My thumbs ran across his wrists, trying to persuade my hands to not run to his waist or ass. Very tempting, truly.
“Fuck, Joel. Maybe… You’re my lucky charm, yeah?”
“Oh, of course. Only because I’m able to help tou get back on the right track every single time,” his words felt like a warm blanket, shielding me from how cruel the world could be. But only for the short period of time.
“Mmm, let me go before I try to fuck you.”
“Yeah, no, we are very much in public and that would definitely screw us over a bit.
“Yes… Okay, let me go,” we laughed, Joel kissing me sweetly before letting me go, “I’ll come again when you get off work.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. Big ol’ baby.”
___
❀ 20
I sat in my dorm bathroom, shaking profusely and rocking back and forth, roommate crying and banging on the door like a police officer.
“Y/N, please, sweetheart, come out! Don’t let him get to you, please. We can file a police report and press charges! I’m begging you, please!” Veronika pleaded, jiggling the handle and sounding like she was close to choking on her words.
Just then, there was pounding on the front foor. Veronika’s breath hitched and her footsteps left the bathroom door. I slowly lied on the floor, ignoring the razors and blood beneath me.
“Where is she?”
Joel?
“She’s in the bathroom. Please get her to come out. I’m scared she’s done something crazy, Joel.”
Joel. God, Joel.
I curled up into myself, squeezing my eyes shut. This wasn’t happening. I didn’t deal with anything crazy today. Totally didn’t. I didn’t have another man I trusted just completely overpower me while I was vulnerable today. Take advantage of me and viciously threaten my life. No. Not at all. It was all just some sick dream my brain wanted me to dream of. Right?
“Y/N. Open the door, sweetheart. Please. It’s me, it’s Joel. Come on out.”
“She hasn’t said anything the entire time she’s been in there.”
“How long has she been trapped in there?”
“Almost three hours.”
Silence. I silently cried on the floor, scared of what was to happen next. Would they leave? Would they discuss what they think is happening? What was next to come?
That’s when there was insane kicks landing on the door. I screamed, sitting up right and staring as they just kept coming down. Eyes hurriedly scanning the small bathroom, I looked at the window and weakly stood to wobble to it.
There was… Laughing? From multiple people. I shook my head, climing over the tub and trying to open the window. This wasn’t happening. No, not again. Never again.
“Leave me alone! Go away! I just wanted help with my work!”
“Come on out, Y/N! We just wanna talk is all,” a distorted voice was cackling behind the door, multiple laughs, multiple voices.
“Come out, gorgeous!”
“Let’s have a little fun, baby!”
“Leave me alone!” my voice nearly cracked and failed to deliver the scentence, the window opening half way. I punched out the screen out, taking the opportunity to crawl out, applying pressure to the fresh slits all over my arms and legs.
“Y/N! No!”
I was yanked from the window, held in a pair of frightfully strong arms that wouldn’t budge. I clawed, kicked, screamed, squirmed, pleaded, did everything to release myself.
“Don’t touch me! Get away! Please leave me alone! Please!”
“Y/N! Hey! It’s me! It’s us!” Veronika, cooed, hands on my face, feeling wet and smelling like metal, “Look, love. It’s me and Joel.”
It took me a minute but her face was morphing, replacing from my abusers to my sweet, scared roommate. I still kept trying to escape but toned it down, keeping my eyes on her.
“Hi, sweetie. It’s okay. It’s us, mama. It’s us. You’re safe.”
I eventually gave up, being lowered to the ground and set up against the wall, still tearing up like crazy just silently.
I looked to the other person, seeing Joel absolutely distraught. My view just wouldn’t stay focused on one person for too long, constantly switching between to two safest people I had with me now.
“I just wanted help with the work. I didn’t want him to do any of it. I was scared. I couldn’t-“
“Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay. We know, baby, we know,” Joel was bawling his eyes out, his hands replacing V’s and his forehead on mine.
“Help me? Please? Can you guys help me?”
“Yes, yes. Of course, sweetheart. What do you need right now? You wanna get all cleaned up? Want some fresh clothes?”
I nodded anxiously, still glancing between the two and shaking like crazy. Veronkia gave me the okay, running to get me clothes while Joel ran the water, checking up on me every two seconds. Literally.
“I’m right here, Y/N. It’s okay.”
What the fuck. Why the fuck? It was gonna take me forever to process any of this.
___
❀ 25
“Y/N? You okay over here?” Tommy questioned, rubbing my back, “You’re staring off into space with wide eyes again.”
“Yeah, I’m cool. Just thinking about some other things right now.”
“Like?”
“Sinking my teeth into a thick ass steak or something,” I laughed, leaning on Tommy. A snort left him as he leaned his head on mine, rubbing my shoulder.
“You’re tellin’ me. I’d kill for a steak right now,” he huffed.
Tommy and I had been sitting at a bench near a park bathroom, waiting for Joel, Maria and Veronika to come back. It had been maybe ten minutes since they all left to use the bathroom.
“Hey, Y/N?”
“Hm?”
“Where do you see yourself in a few years?”
Ah. The infamous question I’ve been getting since middle school. But this time I had a not so depressing answer. My eyes met Tommy, shyly smiling.
“Uhm… Waking up to two crazy kids. Right beside Joel. Laughing and playing in bed with them. Making breakfast for my happy little family. Kissing Joel goodbye for work and taking the kids to school then going to myself.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Yes. Definitely,” I started giggling and chewing at the skin around my nails, “Why?”
“Because he said almost the same thing when I asked him what he wanted.”
Joel actually wanted to marry me? I was just letting my little brain entertain me and allow me to assume Joel still loved me. After everything we’ve been through.
“So… Joel is in love with me? Like? For real?”
“No for fake,” Tommy paused with a blank look, looking away, “Yes for real, dummy!”
I huffed, punching Tommy in his knees, crossing my arms, “You scared me!”
Not really. I just don’t wanna hear what I already thought I knew.
“Okay, sorry, sorry! Look. They’re taking a little bit and I wanna show you something cool. Do you trust me?” Tommy questioned, standing from the bench as his hand reached out to me. I took it and stood in front of him, eyes covered by his hands.
“Hey!”
“Nope! Have to have them covered. Just for a little bit. You’re safe, promise.”
I put my trust in Tommy, holding onto his forearms to keep my balance. Tommy hummed a little tune as he walked me around, carefully guiding me.
Maybe five minutes of walking and Tommy stopped, “Okay. We’re here. Ready?”
“I’m scared but yes.”
“Okay… Look!” Tommy backed away, hands removing and both Maria and Veronika throwing white confetti at me. Startled, I squealed and waved it off, earning a laugh from the three.
“You wanted to show me white confetti?” I giggled, brushing myself off.
“No, silly. We wanted to show you this though,” Maria laughed, both her and Veronika stepped aside, revealing Joel, behind the two girls and on one knee. He held a beautiful bouqet of different flowers with what looked like a box in the middle.
“Joel?”
This wasn’t happening. This was all a dream and my brain was just trying to give me a happy moment.
“I know I said I would get you similar flowers to when we first met. When we were kids. But I got you this instead. Not a single one matches your outfit right now but… It’s still just as beautiful as you.”
“Joel, are you-? You’re serious?”
“Listen, Y/N. I know we’ve had our ups and downs, you hated me plenty of times and I didn’t wanna be around you from time to time either but I’m happy we never gave up on each other.”
“Holy shit, just shut the fuck up, yes!” I giggled, holding back tears and pushing past Veronika and Maria to go kiss and hug Joel for what felt like forever.
Joel chuckled, standing up and sweeping me off the floor the second he wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that laughing, kissing, crying, hugging, all the good stuff for what felt like an eternity.
“So Tommy was telling the truth. About what you said.”
“What does that mean? What’d I say?”
“That you also wanted me to annoy you for the rest of your life.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It’s close enough.”
“Not even a five minute walk to being close. Now get down and let me put this damn ring on you.”
___
❀ Present, 30
“Y/N. Wake up,” Joel groaned, lightly shaking me. My eyes shot open, scanning the room and landing on Joel a few times before wandering again to confirm I was home in bed with him.
“What happened? What’s going on? Are-“
“Yes, Y/N, I’m fine. You were flailing around like crazy then you were calm a bit then just huffing. Like you were crying or something.”
“Oh, no, I’m fine. Strange dreams. You know me, Joel. Big J. Joey. J-“
“Alright, alright, I get it,” Joel lied down, pulling me on top of him. We laughed a little bit, lying together and trying to get back to sleep.
“Joel?” he hummed in response, hand meeting mine on his chest, “Thanks.”
“What? For what?”
“Not giving up on me. I don’t know where I would be or what I would be doing. If I would even be alive-“
“Hey, hey, hey.”
“Sometimes, I don’t even think this is real. Like right now. Is it?”
“Yes, baby. It’s real. It’s all real. Don’t start that crying because I can assure you this is all real, you’re right here with me. Right now. We’re happy and healthy,” Joel attempted to look at me, blowing me a kiss and smiling.
“I love you, Joel.”
“I love you too, Y/N. And I would give you the world of I could.”
How and why did I get gifted this fucking guy since I was a kid? I was just super thankful to even lay my eyes on him and spend quite literally my entire life with him. Maybe I’m not entirely upset that that child stared at me with that dumb little flower.
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halucynator · 4 months
Note
Hellllooo,
Omg I really needed more swiftie mutuals <3
Please rant about all things you like, i love rants, gosh we seem to have so many close interests, I am not a writer tho, but I do read, effectively making me a reader which doesn't sound as cool, now that I think about it.
My fav Taylor song at the moment is "Slut!". I cannot get that out of my head. I mean "got lovesick all over my bed", I die a little everytime I hear that.
Fav Olivia song at the moment is logical (kinda like you username aah). I still CANNOT get over "can't take a joke, can't get you off". Like please kill me already.
Fav Sabrina song at the moment is probably "because i liked a boy". (damn who hurt me?)
And fav conan song at the moment, "Lookalike"
Tell me yours?
Nyc.
xx
hiiii
omg thank you thank you thank youuuu <33
okay so i love a lot of things some of them are pretty questionable but I'm questionable literally ask anyone on the discord server so its fine. anywhoo, i love taylor, maisie, gracie, phoebe, alix page, lucy (dacus not myself I'm not THAT narcissistic), olivia hardy (from wasia project) julien, conan, liv, sab (and @loserdiaz but that's a known fact) and so many other people to the point that even i cant keep track. oh and i love laufey, mitski and lyn lapid just bc.
my current fav by wasia project is petals on the moon but ur so pretty especially live from the studio is so gooddd
anywayss, reading is really cool thats how i got into writing (which is the best thing ever ik /hj) i also really really like reading bc it makes me smart and it's super fun
which is your favourite book series?? mine is lockwood and co as if you couldn't already tell by the amount of times I've mentioned it i also really love agggtm series bc why wouldn't it its so good. I'm sure i love so many more book series but my memory sucks (it does not but I'm lazy so I'll use that as an excuse)
anywhooo, i love scream which is weird bc i watched the first one when i was 10 (i know, who let me do that???) and i... liked it? (I'm very questionable i know) but i also tend to rant about it as if its real life (like WHY DID THEY KILL OF *insert name of dead character* IM SO MAD) and not a movie so I'm a bit annoying sometimes but pls don't tell me that otherwise I'll start crying /j
hmm my favourite taylor song atm would be "is it over now?" or "now that we don't talk" bc at the moment i resonate so well with those songs (ikr my life sounds like a nightmare: it is but it isn't really? idk) at yes i totally agree with the "got lovesick all over my bed statement but" also "love thorns all over this rose" and omg "you're not saying you're in love with me, BUT !! YOURE !! GONNA !! DO !!" like who gave taylor the right to be such a mastermind (funny, right? no? okay.) like the entire song, heck the entire album is so GOOD. HER ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY IS SO GOOD. (this is totally normal fan behaviour btw)
favourite liv song atm is probably lacy but i love all of the songs all the album (and yes logical is soooo good i mean i have to love it otherwise my url is meaningless) but my favourite lyric from the entire album is probably "we both drew blood but man THOSE CUTS were NEVER EQUAL!!" from the grudge (also one of my top 3) bc that hits DEEP. (bc the cuts were deep, i know I'm so funny /j)
favourite sab song atm is prolly cindy lou who / opposite (been there) / a nonsense christmas. i cheated but i simply cant choose one shes too good. also super funny bc cindy lou who and opposite are like sad vibes and then a nonsense christmas i want you to [redacted] and [redacted] me on the couch while we [redacted] presents (sorry i just think I'm so funny when I'm not but dont tell me that i wanna be a stand up comedian no I'm just kidding I'm not a failure. IM JOKING) (also regarding bc i liked a boy, I agree. who hurt you???)
anyways, my favourite conan song atm is prolly the best known option "heather" BUT i also like "the cut that always bleeds" the entire of kid krow tbh
okay i wrote a lot asdxcasdcvafd sorry
alsooo, you didnt ask this but my favourite gracie abrams song atm is "where do we go now?" and "cedar" (you arent mine) bc its such a heartbreaking song especially when you can relate to it. ooh and i also love camden, painkillers, rockland and long sleeves but they're all pretty depressing so if you don't like sad songs they're prolly not for you.
and THANK YOU for this ask this was so fun send me more sometimes <333
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barnes-n-nobles · 2 years
Text
Change Isnt Always for the Better (NONCON SMUT)
Tumblr media
Request: Can you make a yandere druig when the reader is a human but he doesn't accept the fact that she's gonna die someday and decide that he is gonna make her immortal or make himself a humanwhether he succeeds or not you decide
I feel like I might have missed a bit but let me know if youd like another version:-)))
Thank you for your request! Please reblog, like, and let me know what you think!
Warnings: very noncon smut, mentally unstable Druig, manipulation, talks about killing, jealous Druig, crazy Druig behaviors, stalker
18+ !!!! If you “keep reading” you are acknowledging that you are 18+ and that you have read the warnings.
Please Do not translate, no permission to repost any of my writing on any other platform, and do not copy this and claim it as your own.
You went over to Druigs place to talk to him about where you two stand in the relationship. You needed more freedom but he refuses to give it to you. Instead of fully listening to what you had to say, he immediately got defensive and you two started arguing. “You mask your possessiveness by saying it’s protection. I don’t need you to protect me, I can do it myself” “You actually can’t. I have the power to control peoples minds, you are in the safest hands with me. No one is capable of protecting you like I can, specially not yourself.”
“Stop! Please just stop! It’s not just that, it’s everything else you do. You have turned into an extremely jealous individual with anger issues who doesn’t trust anyone but yourself to be around me. I cant even go out with friends because you’re right there guilting me of abandoning you” “This world is in shambles. Everyone has some sort of evil inside of them, you are not safe. Technology has become the worst weapon of all, y/n, who knows what could happen to you. You could be meeting up with friends but what if they’re trying to harm you? What if the people around you are going to try to do something awful to you. You need me to be safe. Your life depends on it” “Look, Druig, I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways. You treat me like im made out of glass and I don’t want to deal with it anymore. Maybe in the future we will be able to talk again I don’t know. Right now, I just need some time.”
Druigs instant reaction was to smile. “Um im not joking” feeling angry at him for disrespecting you. “Y/n…we’re not breaking up. You’re being ridiculous”. You scoffed, not believing his reaction. “Are you serious? Druig, you’re not good for me. You’re way too much to handle and I can’t anymore. I am breaking up with you…thankfully I don’t need your permission for that” Stepping aside you started to walk out, but he grabbed you and pinned you against a wall, “I said no”. You pushed him off you, slapping him across the face, “Dont touch me ever again”. Druig was infuriated, but he grabbed you again, holding your wrists, “If you do this, you’ll regret it. I suggest you apologize and drop it.”
“Do you even hear yourself? You're unbelievable” you ripped your wrists away from his grip, “I swear to god. I will never forgive you if you walk out on me. Ive done everything I could possibly do for you. You WILL regret this” His chest rising and falling in anger.
You looked him straight in the eyes before saying, “I don’t care about you anymore. Goodbye Druig”. You walked out, walking a little fast towards your car. He stood there, processing what had just happened, his whole body was being consumed by anger. His blood was boiling and his next reaction was to punch the wall, creating a huge hole in it. The wall started to get a crack that stopped at the ceiling, he wanted to do it again but he dropped to his knees, crying in rage.
~~A year Later~~
You sat in at the restaurants farthest booth playing a game on your phone. You tried to concentrate but you were so mad that this dumbass guy you were meeting up with stood you up. To make it all worse you lost in your game, slamming your phone down making everyone turn their heads towards you. “Oops my bad” you said, recoiling back into yourself. Holding your face in your hands, you started to cry. It wasn’t because of that guy, no, it was because dating was so hard. Every single person you wanted to meet up with, always stood you up or they would ghost you. Every was so sweet over the phone but as soon as you wanted to meet them face to face, that’s when they would leave you. Doubting yourself was at an all time high at this point, you even wondered if you were good enough for literally anyone. 
Grabbing a napkin to wipe your tears away, you soaked them in, hoping your makeup wouldnt be too bad. “Y/n? Is that you?” you thought it was the guy you were meeting here but when you looked up, you were shocked to see Druig. “Oh shit, it’s been so long how are you?” asking him while getting up to give him a quick hug. “I’m good just going through life, you know” he smiled looking at your puffy face. His smile instantly dropped, “ oh no what’s wrong?” he grabbed your arm, his reaction full of concern. “I…I was waiting for this guy and he stood me up” you laughed but it morphed into a cry. He brought you into him, holding you close like he used to. It made you feel warm and fuzzy again, you were so deprived of physical touch, to be embraced again was just so…intoxicating. “I’m so sorry. Men ain’t shit, as I’m sure you know” you giggled, “I’m really sorry” he let you go and picked up another napkin to wipe your tears away, cleaning a bit of your running mascara, “Look I’m here with my girlfriend but you’re more than welcome to come sit with us?” his offer was beyond kind, but when he said he had a girlfriend you couldn’t help but feel like a knife had been stabbed through your chest.
“Oh gosh I’m so sorry. I’m crying here like a baby and you got your boo waiting on you. Thank you for the offer, but I think I’m just gonna go home. Probably get a huge tub of ice cream on my way home, you know the whole basic sad bitch routine. It was really nice seeing you though, take care Druig” you turned to walk away but he grabbed you before you could take a step, “Wait up…Look I know we ended in kind of bad terms but I just want you to know that you can always count on me for anything okay? I don’t want you to be alone in a time of need and I promise you there will be no feelings attached. When you and I broke up, I had to go through my pain all alone and that shit was the worst but don’t feel bad because it was really good for my mental health in the long run. I’d like to be there for you. Is that okay?” Trying to swallow the knot in your throat you nodded your head, holding back your tears, “yes that would be nice. My number is still the same” “You better unblock me though” he giggled, making you chuckle, “I will”. “See you around, sweets. Call me if you need anything”. He gave you a hug before heading back to his table, but before you could see him sit with his girlfriend you turned and left.
Later that night, you went to the store to get all the comfort food that you could buy and went home to lay in bed, putting on all your favorite movies. Enjoying yourself, you finally dozed off to sleep, your cheeks wet from your tears. Usually you didn’t get like this but seeing Druig, it hurt that he had already moved on and you were trying to do just that but you couldn’t. Every single one of the guys blew you off, and you didn’t understand why. Druig was really nice company while you two were dating but once he got in his head, you just had to leave. You told yourself that if he didn’t get like that you two would probably be married now. All these ‘if only’s made you even more sad, adding to your already shitty night.
Your phone went off, blasting your ringtone that jolted you awake. Rubbing your eyes, you tried to read the screen and saw that it was a new number, but it looked familiar.
“Hello?”
“Y/n? It’s Druig, did I wake you up?”
“Hey Druig, no I was watching a movie but I dozed off”
You asked looking at the clock, noticing it was 3:37am
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Everything is fine, I just couldn’t sleep and I wondered if you were awake too. I wanted to talk to you about something, if you’re not too tired of course”
“Yeah, I’m good. What’s going on”
“Well…I noticed how upset you were last night and I trust you remember what I told you last night, about us being friends?”
You paused for a bit. Trying to remember when he said that but it just didnt come up, “Y-yeah, I remember” lying to not make it awkward.
Druig smiled and cleared his throat for this next part.
“I’d like to invite you over for breakfast. I recently got a new place and I’d love for you to see it. After, we can either stay here and relax or we can go out to do stuff.”
“I don’t know. I’m still kind of hurt because of this last guy, and you also have a girlfriend. I wouldn’t be cool with something like that if my boyfriend has his ex over without me being there”
“To be 100% honest with you, she wasn’t my girlfriend. I only said that, to make it seem like I bounced back. It was our first time meeting but she wasnt interested in me. She said I have the same personality as flour, can you believe that shit?”
You busted out laughing, “Oh my god that’s so rude! Also ironic, your personality is definitely not like that”
“Well thank youuu, but yeah, what do you think? Wanna meet up tomorrow? Or later on today I should say”
You hesitated in answering but then you thought how bad could it be. He seemed like a changed person and you wanted to see how just how much. Not that you were thinking about dating him, but just to see if people could really change.
“Hello, y/n?”
“Hi yes sorry, I’d love to.”
“Perfect. I recently moved so ill text you the new address and you can meet me here. Id go get you but I want to make sure everything is perfect when you arrive”
“Sure that sounds great. See you then”
“Goodnight, M’lady”
That morning you got up early, making sure to give yourself enough time to get ready before you headed over to Druigs house. You searched up the new address and you saw that it was one hour away. “Damn” you said to yourself, zooming into the map, looking at how big or small the house was. By the looks of it, it was a huge property, but the actual house was a decent size. Going a little stalker mode, you plugged in the address into a real estate site and you got a better view of just how beautiful the home was. Druig was a wealthy person but you never thought he would have chosen a house like this, specially with that much land. Your notification popped up and it was him. The text read, “Goodmorning Sweets, I’m making a variety of waffles today. Is that okay?”
You smiled as you texted back, “Yay! My favorite <3”
“I know :) Let me know when you’ve left, that way everything is nice and warm”
“Okie dokie, I’m going to finish getting ready and I’ll head there soon”
“Drive safe ♥️”
You felt butterflies once again. Despite all that went on within the relationship, you still cared for him. Not being able to fully move on, your feelings always traced back to him no matter how much you tried to get him out. 
As you finished with yourself, you hopped into your car and drove off. The drive was kinda of difficult due to all the many curves the route had, it also didn’t help that it was raining making you go extra slow. As you go closer and closer you noticed that his home was on a huge hill, overlooking the city. When you got out of the car, you texted him that you were outside, and he read it immediately. A couple seconds later and he had opened the door.
“Hello y/n, how’s my little sweetheart” he smiled, making you blush. His hands were behind his back as he approached you. “I’m doing fine. Thank you for inviting me over” he opened his arms for you to come into him, and you did, melting right into his embrace. When you wanted to let go, he held you in place, hugging you a little longer. You rubbed his back, patting it lightly, “I’m sorry love, I’ve missed you so much” he admitted, pulling away to see your beautiful face.
He cupped your cheeks, rubbing his thumb over the top of your cheekbones, “I’ve missed you too Druig” you whispered, his eyes looking at your lips, then back at your eyes. “May I?” He asked licking his lips. As much as you wanted to say yes, your morals made you say no..in a way “Druig…we’re friends…no feeling attached, remember?”
Druigs eyes dropped, taking a quick deep breath. “How could I forget…on the cheek then?”
Smiling, you nodded.
Druig brought you in closer, his right hand dropping to your waist, pulling you to him, his other hand went to the back of your neck, holding you in place. He gave you a kiss on your cheek, the end of his lips touching the end of yours. Your eyes shut at the feeling, butterflies erupting as his lips lingered on your skin. Pulling away, he looked down at you, giggling at your nervous reaction. “Let go inside, y/n…we don’t want the food to get cold”
As you two enjoyed breakfast, Druig was watching you closely. Studying your features once again, noticing every single motion you took. You hadn’t changed a bit and he felt content with that. While he drank he eyed you from his glass, his thoughts getting poisoned with lustful images from when you two got intimate in the past. When you looked up at him, you noticed his darkened gaze, taking a double look at him. “What’s wrong?” you asked.
His expression changed, softening up and lowering his glass. “What do you mean?” faking his confusion.
“I don’t know you looked really serious just now, almost like mad”
“DONT be silly. I’m not mad”
“Suuurree. Go in tell me, what’s on your mind”
Druig chuckled swirling his glass in his hand, debating wether or not he wanted to be honest.
“I’m not mad I’m just remembering our past”
A knot started to build up in your throat, you didn’t want to talk about that. It was painful and scary to remember how everything led to your break up.
“Y/n…I’m not over you darlin’. I hope you understand that. I invited you because I wanted us to see where we stand. Shoot my shot if possible, you know?”
“Druig…I don’t want to be rude but I don’t want to talk about this right now. I’m having such a good time with you. Why don’t we just finish having breakfast, ok?”
When you two were dating his moods changed a lot, but he always reverted to anger. He didn’t like to be told no, if he wanted something he needed it to go his way. You were expecting him to flip the table over, but on the contrary, he was calm. He just playfully rolled his eyes, smiling, “Fine, im sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just thought we were ready to start that conversation but we can bring it up when you’re ready. If you want to of course” You were in awe. This was a completely different Druig that sat across from you. Smiling like a dummy, it made you feel happy that he was able to see eye to eye with you, something you’ve always wanted with him. “Thank you for understanding”.
Finishing up, you helped him clean a little. While you were washing the last few plates, he came up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist, giving you a kiss behind your ear, “your reward for helping me clean up”. Goosebumps instantly appeared on your skin when he kissed you again. “It tickless” you giggled nudging him away with your waist. Druig felt your ass on his crotch, grunting silently at the feeling. He was starting to get hard, debating wether he should take you over the counter or just pretend like nothing happened. He reminded himself that there were bigger plans to fulfill so he needed to stay strong...for now. When he let you go, he leaned against the counter next to you, “Do you want to go to a park? There’s a really nice lake there and it smells so nice and natural. I just know you would really like it”. Pouting you shook your head, “As much as I would love that, I’m sorry I can’t. I have a lot to do before I go into work tomorrow and there’s some things I need done before tonight. Maybe some other time, yeah?” Druig once again looked disappointed, but he didn’t let his anger out, “Are you sure that can’t wait? If we go now we can be back here in like an hour or two. Let’s just go out for a walk, I swear it’ll be worth it”
“I really can’t. I have to head home now if I want to finish my work at a decent time”.
“Aww come on..please? for me?” He begged, holding your hand in his and giving it a quick kiss. You had a gut feeling that this wouldn’t end well, when he got like this it usually led to something serious. “Druig, please. I don’t want us to fight-”
“No one is fighting silly. Look I’m good. I understand that you got things to do. I’m sorry if I pushed too much”. He spoke quickly, he didn’t want you to be upset or scare you so he backed off. This helped you feel better, your nerves calmed down and that familiar bad gut feeling left you. “No worries” you smiled, heading over to the living room to get your belongings. “I’ll get you some snacks and a water to take with you. I know that the drive is quite long” he yelled from his huge walk in pantry. “Sound good thanks” you replied, looking all over your bag for your keys but you couldn’t find them. You checked in your pockets and on the sofa it was on but nothing. You traced your steps back from when you first walked in, maybe they were on the floor or something. When you walked to the front door, you saw them, going quickly to get them. “Druig, I have everything ready” you called out. When you made your way to the kitchen you heard the voice of someone very familiar. It was coming from one of the guest rooms close to the entrance. It sounded like a conversation, but that didnt make sense because it was only the two of you in the house. 
The closer you got, the clearer the voice was. When you put your ear on the door, you heard it was the guy that blew you off that night at dinner. You quickly opened the door, but there was no one, it was just a recording..of your phone call with him. “what the fuck?” you said to yourself as you got close to the computer that was blasting the conversation. Clicking out of it, you were brought to the home screen. Reading all the folders made your heart stop. All of the folders had your name on it and they were broken down into categories. “Living Room, Bathroom, Bedroom, front door Cameras”. You couldnt believe this. You had no cameras anywhere, how would this even be possible. You opened one of the folders and you saw yourself showering...then you clicked on another folder you saw yourself sleeping. Starting to spiral, you clicked on his library. Seeing alot of audios, texts, video calls from YOUR phone. Druig was fucking stalking you. Starting to hyperventilate you got up, dialing a number but you immediately dropped it to the ground.
“Who are you calling?” Druigs voice scared you. He nonchalantly asked while leaning on the door frame. “Druig..what is this” you cried, backing away once he came all the way in. 
“Didnt anyone teach you that going into peoples rooms without permission is extremely rude and a total invasion of their privacy?” sarcastically scolding you while he approached you with his arms behind his back. “Stop, dont come any closer, or im going to call the police” you warned picking up your phone. Druig smiled, as he cornered you. “call them” he instructed, pressing his body onto yours. Shaking, you stood still, not knowing what to do. His head dipped to your neck, his nose ghosting over it while he took your sweet scent in. “I told you to call them” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on the nape of your neck, making you get goosebumps. You brought up your phone, unlocking it but then your threw it across the room undeliberately. His eyes glowed, looking at you with his too familiar angry expression. He controlled your mind to throw your phone away, thats when you realized you were at the mercy of him. “leave me alone you psycho” you cried, trying to get him away from you, your hands pushing his chest. “God I fucking love it when you try to get tough with me. It makes everything so much more fun” he laughed, grabbing your hands and putting them right behind your back. His grip was too strong, but you still tried to wiggle them out. 
“What was all that shit on the computer. How did you..I dont understand”. Druig moved you and walked you over to the bed, making you fall on your back. He climbed up onto you, pinning your hands down beside your head.
“You let me in” his sinister smirk creeping onto his lips. 
“Thats impossible, I never did that.You never came back..unless” 
“Go on princess, use that little tiny brain of yours to get the answer you already know”
“You made me?!”
“Thats right love. You have such an easy mind to control. It also helps that you still have feelings for me. It makes it so easy for me to slip in and out and you wont remember a single thing.”
“Youre sick. Insane. Youre fucking crazy” you yelled trying to fight against him. 
“Yes I am y/n...I am fucking deranged, crazy, sick whatever the fuck you want, but you know what. Its all your fault. You made me do this. All you had to do was stay with me forever, and I wouldnt have done anything. I killed every single one of those lowlife’s you talked to. You cheated on me with all them, how fucking dare you” he  said through gritted teeth as his grip got stronger and stronger. “What are you saying???We werent together, how could you kill innocent people, you monster” spitting on him, he smiled, licking the saliva that fell on his lips. “we will always be together. Wether you want to or not. Im not letting you go ever again. Not until you learn who you belong to” he collided his lips with yours, kissing you against your will. Where ever that you turned your head, he followed you. He let go of your right hand, so that he could grab your hair to control your head, making you finally stay still. He bit your lip, making you gasp and whine, giving him access to roam your mouth with his tongue. His hips were grinding against yours, his legs keeping your apart. “You make me go feral. I just need to have you...so fucking addicting” he moaned, pressing his bulge onto you, making you get all tingly. 
You needed to stop this, it was all wrong. “Stop Druig, dont do this to me. Not like this” you begged. He grabbed you by your neck and pulled you up, cutting your air supply completely, “shut up. Im doing you how I want and when I want. Youre my property and Ill do with you as I please” He let you go, dropping you back down to the mattress, making you cough as you regained your air. He flipped you over and tore your leggings off, snapping your lace panties off as well. He brought them up to his nose and inhaled them in, moaning out your name. He pulled his dick out and pumped it a few times while he enjoyed them some more. His hands were no longer on you, so you quickly crawled away but he brought you right back by pulling your hair. “where do you think youre going” he pushed you down onto your tummy, spreading your legs apart. He rubbed his tip a few times over your clit, making you shudder at the feeling, “Druig...stop” you gasped when you felt him enter you slowly. “Fuck y/n....sooo tighttt” he purred, grabbing you hips as he started to pound into you. Your screams soon filled the room, grunting repeatedly with each hard thrust he gave you. “S-sto-p...Druig-ah” you begged. Druig loved the way you moaned his name, it only fueled his fire more. He grabbed your panties and shoved them into your mouth, “shush kitten, dont tell me to stop, because I wont. I went far too long without you, and I will never let that happen again. I will never let you go. Youre mine for all eternity”. 
His hand dipped under you and onto your clit, rubbing you in a delicious way. His hand wrapped around neck, controlling your head. He eventually took the panties out, making it easier for you to moan and groan. “tell me youre mine” he commanded, hammering into you. “I....will never be yours...Im..going to die one day...I will be free from you”. Druig growled, going to your neck and bitting it, making you screech. “thats what you think but remember, I’m an Eternal. I have the power to mate with a human of my choosing making you mine forever. Both literally and figuratively” Druig latched onto your neck again, sinking his teeth deeper, his eyes glowed forcing some of his power into you. The final step was to spill his seed into you, channeling the energy from your orgasm with his. He pumped faster and faster, rubbing you with the same force. “Druig, no” those were your last words before you came all over his finger, making you shake uncontrollably. The feeling of your climax made Druig cum inside you, breathing heavily as he continued with the transition. Your sight started to blur, but you felt your body start to change from the inside out, your blood heating up while you heard Druigs voice in your head. “We are now one..you will be mine forever, and you'll learn to obey me, if you're clever”
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yukittywrites · 8 months
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Motorcycles and Bad Boys~
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this time i didn't forget about you guys! ive been writing about yuta from nct on my ao3 and not focusing on threadfics so i havent reformatted any for a while!
check out my ao3 @Yukitty_Writes for longer oneshots! (im talking 15-50k words)
warnings// nothing, just some sexy teasing!
700 words, minhwa, 3rd person POV
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙
"I'm going to kill myself, I'm never showing my face again, I'm moving to America." Seonghwa moans, collapsing onto a table in the college cafe. "
Why?" Hongjoong asks. Yunho laughs, "Someone overheard Hwa ranting about how much he wants Mingi to fuck him—" "
Song or Lee?"
"Song. and they filmed it, then posted the video and tagged like half the student body so now everyone has seen."
Hongjoong winces, "Really Hwa? Bad boy, player, Song Mingi?"
"But he's hot though!"
"He's never even going to look at you."
"I know that! Which is why I was fine with just crushing on him, but no!" Seonghwa says melodramatically.
Yunho laughs, "At least it's not the worst you've ever told us you wanted him to do."
"I could've spent my whole life without anyone knowing that I wanted Mingi to fuck me against his fucking motorcycle!" Seonghwa hisses.
Hongjoong chokes on his coffee "Holy shit, that's what everyone heard you say? That's so embarrassing for you." he gasps.
Seonghwa whines, "Wow, I couldn't tell, the fact that I had four different people call me a variation of 'slut' today didn't clue me in!"
"I think there's a solution to this." Yunho says.
Seonghwa looks up, hoping for the solution.
"Just confess to him."
"No! What the fuck? You want me to just walk up to him and say "Hey, you heard me say I wanted you to fuck me against a motorcycle, and I really want to date you?" Like that's not creepy?" he whispers.
"Well he just entered the cafe, so you have a chance." Hongjoong says.
"Oh fuck, kill me now. Hide me from him."
"He's walking towards us."
"No, no, no, no." Seonghwa says quickly, sliding down in the chair as Mingi moves closer.
When the man of the hour finally arrives, Seonghwa sits up despite wanting to crawl under the table the second he stood in front of them.
"Hey, sweetheart, I see you have a little crush on me." a deep voice purrs from behind him.
Yunho practically snorts as Seonghwa's face goes bright red at the voice.
"Oh don't ignore me Seonghwa, you know you're beautiful, right?" Mingi says, now standing directly beside him. Seonghwa makes the mistake of looking Mingi in those beautiful foxy, lined, eyes and now he can't even speak.
"Oh wow, you're really cute." he grins. Seonghwa's lips part in shock.
"Are you gonna say something back to me, baby?" Mingi smirks.
Seonghwa's lips part further as his eyes widen. He jolts when Yunho kicks him in the shin, saying, "Please say something before you embarrass yourself further."
One would think he would manage to make a coherent sentence, or say hello like a normal person. Instead the words that tumble out of his mouth are "You're hot."
His hands reach up to slap over his mouth at the same time Hongjoong and Yunho groan simultaneously.
Mingi laughs, his deep voice sending waves over Seonghwa's body and getting him embarrassingly aroused. "Oh I've heard that from a lot of people, sweetheart. I've heard it from your mouth before. After all, weren't your words 'Mingi could bend me over his motorcycle with everyone watching and I'd tell him 'yes sir, more''"
Seonghwa's face goes redder, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"Do I look uncomfortable, baby? If you're into it, then almost anything is possible." Mingi grins, gripping Seonghwa's face between his thumb and forefinger.
Seonghwa resists the urge to moan, his eyes lidding as he gulps. "Aw, would you look at that. You look like you're about to cum in your pants." Mingi murmurs, his lips close to Seonghwa's.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Hongjoong yelps, slightly horrified.
"This is a public place, not a bedroom." Yunho laughs.
Mingi's smirk only deepens and darkens, "Well then what do you say, Seonghwa? Want to come to my bedroom?"
"Oh god, please." Seonghwa gasps. Mingi pulls him up from his seat as Seonghwa almost stumbles into him.
"Then let's go." Mingi murmurs.
"And do me a favour, sweetheart, try to cover that big problem you have down there."
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oneshot book containing this one and more linked here
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