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olderthannetfic · 7 months

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The aroace anon makes me sad and shows how fucked up the whole discourse around ace and aro spectrum identities has become. The whole concept of asexuality was originally created for people like anon: a lack of sexual desire/attraction and affirming that this is a thing that can exist without being a trauma symptom and does not mean you can’t live a full, happy life. I’m not saying it was wrong to point out that some ace people have and enjoy sex; that’s obviously true. But people have apparently hammered it in so hard that some circles think that it’s strange for ace people NOT to want sex, and now the kind of people *the term was made for* are made to feel ashamed. And what’s especially telling and disturbing to me is the people in the replies saying they must be sex-repulsed. Anon is not saying anything to indicate repulsion; they’re just not interested in sex. People seem to have forgotten what “repulsion” actually means, but saying that someone who just doesn’t experience sexual attraction is “sex repulsed” is like saying that someone who is only sexually attracted to one gender is “repulsed” by other ones. Are straight women “women-repulsed?” And what’s most fucked up about this is genuine sexual *repulsion* is usually a sign of trauma and is the thing that is supposed to be dealt with in therapy THAT THE ORIGINAL ASEXUAL ACTIVISTS WERE SAYING THEY DID NOT HAVE. We have come full circle, where the concept is now used to advocate the opposite thing it was created for. What used to be about how someone like anon is normal and what they feel is fine and not because of trauma is now used to say “no there’s still something wrong with you if you don’t want sex, and that’s definitely due to trauma.” What the fuck people… but while I think a lot of it is just broader misconceptions about ace people including ace people themselves who internalize this, I do think part of the issue is there are clearly a lot of people online who identify as ace who are likely not actually, who clearly have pretty typical allosexual levels of attraction/desire but aren’t aware of that, because they’re overthinking stuff or they *think* about that attraction a little differently from others (as an autistic person myself I feel like this is especially common for those of us on the spectrum) or just are inexperienced. And nothing wrong with taking time to figure shit out, but it’s a problem when that perspective shuts out people like anon from the movement built for them. Like even just talking about “gatekeeping” is weird, because people like anon have been usually the ones deep inside the gates! And now people on the outside are pulling them out as they elbow their way in

Anon sounds like such a classic version of aroace. Not that other people can't also have that identity, but of all the people to try to gatekeep out of it... Sheesh!

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entropy-sea-system · 4 months

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I'm the kind of 'doesn't give a shit about nonrose relationships' person (bc I'm atertiary and repulsed by these relationships and have opted out of them!!) that allotertiary aspecs hate tbh... And I know they probably don't intend to be aphobic with this but it is literally aphobic towards atertiary people if you think not liking nonrose relationships is inherently evil.

You're allowed to be upset if people aren't valuing you in the nonrose ways you want them to, and you should ask them for what you want in your interactions(drops my 'communicate or break up' advice as an atertiary I guess) . But please don't malign people like me just bc we can't care about people in tertiary/nonrose ways, while you complain about this.

Just a reminder that, by the way, an allorose atertiary person or apl, afamilial, etc. person is just as aspec as you and belongs in the aspec community if they wish to. I'm just adding this because I see some of you acting like things like family or friendship are not seen as necessary and are not enforced as something everyone should have, even if in some places these may not be the most 'superior' relationship to society(reminder that some of us do live in places where friendship or family are seen as more required than romance though).

Even if larger society does not always conceptualise these as attraction, you cannot deny that people are expected to have meaningful interpersonal connections that are not romantic or sexual (see for example how people are expected to raise a family, have friends, etc.) . And besides, its not like people conceptualised of the concept of romantic attraction before the aspec community started talking about it. However, it is understood that romance was still expected of people back then. And its similar with nonrose / tertiary relationships and attractions.

Some exclusionists literally go out of their way to say that they think aros and aces are valid but think atertiary spectrum labels are bullshit. Don't think it benefits you to agree with them or to exclude atertiary people from the aspec community. Aspec includes atertiary and agender spectrums as well, not just aro and ace spectrums, so please actually meaningfully include us in aspec things.

#aspec #aromantic #asexual #crosstagging aro and ace bc you ppl have got to be normal about us #Im aro myself too but . wow other aros are not always normal abt atertiary ppl like me !!#atertiary #vent #aphobia #platonormativity #apothitertiary #nonfriending #nonfriending aplatonic #apl #aplatonic #nonfriending apl #aplphobia #relan #relationship anarchy #I started at relan and I guess Im here complaining about how aros and aces are not always supportive of aterspec ppl like me

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yanderes-galore · 8 months

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Is it possible to ask for a romantic concept of Kai + Lloyd (Ninjago) sharing a darling???

For fun me and @okchijt discussed this a little and we both agreed Kai would be the dominating force in the relationship. So I decided to focus the concept around that idea to make it different from the usual stuff ^^

Yandere! Kai + Lloyd sharing a darling

Pairing: Romantic - Sharing

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Sharing yanderes yet not poly, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Manipulation, PDA/Flirting, Stalking, Obviously creepy themes, Forced relationship.

Kai is Obsessive, Flirtatious, Overprotective, Manipulative, Impulsive, Observing, and Jealous.

Lloyd is Passionate, Delusional, Loving/Caring, Reckless, Overprotective, Obsessive, Naive, and Manipulative.

The two are relatively close, often seeing each other as brothers.

In fact Kai is like Lloyd's mentor and teacher at times.

I feel how the relationship would start is you're with Kai first.

Be it with some force or willingly, Kai claims you as his darling before Lloyd.

Lloyd could've developed feelings for you before or after Kai takes you as his.

Kai doesn't really like the idea of sharing you so he's rather jealous and possessive at times.

He often socially isolates you or heavily flirts with you in public to show others you and him are a thing.

Even if you don't really enjoy it.

For the most part such an approach works.

No one Kai doesn't want near you bothers to get close.

Kai tends to have a temper that can be set off if anyone pushes their luck.

There's only one exception for Kai.

Kai most likely knows Lloyd's attraction to you due to being close with him.

At first the idea of Lloyd wanting to be with you repulsed Kai.

Kai has done everything he can to keep you away from others, he's done it all so he can keep you as his.

But the fact Lloyd still manages to have feelings for you is frustrating... however...

Lloyd really is the only person he can trust with you.

Kai's frustration about it fades, especially when he sees Lloyd keep is distance due to what's between you and Kai.

Kai still catches him stalking you at times but keeps quiet about it.

Kai's aware Lloyd has similar tendencies to himself when it comes to you.

He can't criticize the younger ninja because he himself has done the same before getting with you.

It would take time but at some point Kai would talk to Lloyd about it.

He's willing to share you to appease Lloyd's obsession.

The fact Kai trusts Lloyd with you shocks the Green Ninja but he takes the chance.

Lloyd becomes the only other person you get to interact with other than Kai after that.

At first Lloyd just treats you like a friend, he doesn't really want to force you into another relationship you don't want.

It's not until Kai encourages him that Lloyd pushes a bit more.

Even then the Green Ninja has enough patience to not force anything.

The dynamic almost feels like Kai's giving Lloyd permission to have romantic feelings towards you?

Kai's begun dating you first and since he trusts Lloyd... he'll allow him to date you also.

Most of this is done without consulting you, much to your own frustration.

Kai's certainly the one who comes off stronger while Lloyd is softer despite mirroring Kai at times.

Both of them know to back off when they need to but they don't plan on letting you go.

You could try to appeal to Lloyd to get you away from Kai and help you escape... but Lloyd most likely has too much respect for Kai to let you go.

Plus he loves you too.

They both are hopelessly in love with you and try to provide for you and keep you happy.

Even if they keep you isolated and force you to play along....

Kai would be the one to charm you with words while Lloyd would be the one to grab your attention with soft physical affection.

There is going to be fights at times but not to the point of rivalry.

These two are rather compatible when it comes to sharing a darling.

Other pairings that are just as compatible/similar involving Kai would be Kai and Nya sharing, or Kai, Nya, and Lloyd sharing.

The two would have minor fights but usually make up later.

You bring them together and keep them happy.

I can imagine if they want alone time with you they'd take turns.

They trust each other enough to know you don't need them both to hover around you all the time.

They know neither of them will help you escape so they allow small dates one on one here and there.

If you don't want to go out or have to stay inside, this works for them too.

Inside dates are perfect for them too, especially if you want to play video games.

Overall I feel these two are one of the most compatible pairings to share their darling.

They trust each other to take care of you and both love you... obsessively.

They'll be the only ones you have contact with throughout your little "relationship".

#yandere ninjago #yandere kai #yandere lloyd garmadon #yandere ninjago kai #yandere ninjago lloyd garmadon

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jewishvitya · 1 year

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Anon:

I've actually met J.K. Rowling irl and asked her about the antisemitism controversy point blank. Very politley, she said it was ridiculous. She said she based the goblins on English folklore and nothing more.

It doesn't matter what she says. She can tell us her intent, not her impact. Not once did I accuse her of making the goblins in the books antisemitic on purpose. My issue was that she didn't care enough to acknowledge it and talk about it respectfully. The result stays the same. I laid out how they are antisemitic. It's in the text regardless of what she says.

She made Grindelwald an antagonist who claims he wants to stop the holocaust. By trying to stop him, the protagonists are trying to preserve the course of events where, in real life, the holocaust happened. She used holocaust imagery in her magic movies. I'm not just going to trust her word and her judgment on what's antisemitic. Be serious.

As for the game, most gentiles I know don't even know what a shofar is.

Even if you completely disregard the horn, it's still a storyline of blood libel using an antisemitic depiction. The only reason the horn is a problem, is that they put it in the hands of antisemitic caricatures. I'm not claiming ownership on the concept of ram's horn instruments. I was clear on that too.

As for the 1612 parallel, I genuinely don't know where that came from. [...] In fact, the one people keep referring to happened in 1614!

The Fettmilch uprising was a series of events that started at 1612. A bigger expulsion of Jews from the place was at 1614, but the attacks started before that, at 1612.

If you play it, you'll find trans and gay characters that are amazing and so fun to interact with, as well as an overall theme of antiprejudism.

Sure, I'll go ahead and interact with those fictional trans and gay characters. It sounds so nice. I'm sure I'll enjoy them enough to make up for giving money to a person who's at the forefront of the current attack on trans rights. Trans people dying in reality while she emboldens transphobes and makes it her entire online persona? That just isn't upsetting enough for me to feel repulsed by the idea of supporting this.

As far as I'm concerned, she has blood in her hands.

A theme of anti-prejudice is nice. Not compatible with the plot where you have to put down a rebellion, and not compatible with her behavior in reality.

But Rowling's world doesn't really lend itself to themes of anti-prejudice. She has:

A slave race where wanting to be free makes them weird, and if one is freed against her will, she becomes an aimless drunk. Our protagonists decorate their decapitated heads with Christmas hats. The idea of freeing them is a running joke, and the protagonist ends up a slave owner.

A werewolf community of HIV+ allegories where all but one person join the wizard Nazis. That one person ("the good one") poses a danger to innocent people more than once.

A race of greedy ruthless untrustworthy fantasy bankers, who are legally barred from having an equal place in society and shown as vicious for their attempts to fight for it, who have their cultural rules of inheritance constantly disrespected, and only have a place for their usefulness in crafting and managing the banks.

Giants who are shown as victims of wizards but also as dangerous creatures barely able to think.

Rowling doesn't understand prejudice. In her world, all the prejudiced opinions wizards have against the marginalized are correct. The slaves want to be slaves, the werewolves are dangerous, the goblins are greedy and bloodthirsty, the giants are violent and uncontrollable.

She doesn't have an issue with prejudice - as long as you're polite about it. She has an issue with outright physical violence, with rudeness and slurs, and with job discrimination. Beyond that, she doesn't care. She gets to have a surface-level message of anti-hatred because she can't come up with a villain that isn't literally Hitler.

#riki babbles #hogwarts legacy #HP #JKR

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forestdeath1 · 2 months

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The tragic fate of platonic love in our beloved puritan HP fandom (18+)

Or about sexual attraction among friends (canon Sirius and James)

It's often written, “The relationship between Sirius and James is purely platonic and friendly, which I really appreciate because there's no sexual attraction between them! That's real friendship!”

Personally, I see this as nothing but the influence of old, rather puritanical views on our lives today. It's as though sexual attraction is deemed detrimental, diminishing the sanctity of friendship and defiling purity. As if sex is something that should remain exclusively between couples (in a dark room under a blanket), otherwise it's considered a vile phenomenon.

The modern concept of platonic love (which has nothing in common with the original concept of platonic love as exalted erotic relationships) literally imposes the belief that sexual attraction is exclusively categorized as “romantic,” and monosexual at that, rather than being considered in a deeper, philosophical sense of acceptance and desire for another person as a whole, including their physical component.

As if desiring someone’s body is an insult, rather than an expression of admiration for the ideal. In Ancient Greece and during the Renaissance era (although socially, the puritans were also rampant in this era), love for the body and beauty was celebrated and considered normal, but today, sometimes it's seen as something shameful and is strictly confined within the monosexual standard.

However, in some ways, people are right because, as Slavoj Žižek said, sex is increasingly becoming masturbation with a real person, rather than directly sex as an erotic act of love. It lacks love, desire, and eroticism. Just masturbation using a living body.

In this context, Freud would have been thrilled with the modern situation: despite the absence of any sexual restrictions, impotence and frigidity have never been so widespread. Yet, we are so puritanically inclined that sexual attraction between friends is perceived as something that shouldn't exist, as something that spoils pure friendly relations.

Sexual attraction to a friend is the result of erotic infatuation with them. These relationships can be platonic. They can call each other friends without making any commitments of fidelity and relationships, they might have other romantic relationships, but at the same time, the relationships between these two friends will be built on the intersection of eros and philia – erotic love and friendship. On the attraction to this person and on equal communication.

Let me repeat: there's nothing wrong with sexual attraction to friends who are platonic lovers. I don't know why many find this idea of sexual attraction to a friend so repulsive, as if it's something sinful, corrupt. Sexual attraction is simply an acknowledgment that the person is pleasant and beautiful and that you want to share a moment of intimacy, to appreciate the beauty of their body just as you appreciate the beauty of their soul. It's not necessary to satisfy this desire; it can be sublimated or transformed. In fact, friends who are platonically in love with each other do this all the time – hugging for a long time, kissing on the lips, giving each other massages (not medical), thus transforming precisely their sexual attraction.

A simple touch by one person on the body of their beloved friend can be far more sexual and erotic for the two of them than the most pornographic sex. Simply observing their body or the person themselves can be a far stronger sexual act than intercourse itself. Sexual attraction is not about how many bj they've given each other. They might not give any at all, but the breathing of one on the neck of the other during sleep can be so sexually charged, filled with love and eroticism in the broadest sense of the word, that no bj are necessary. If someone haven't experienced this in friendship, it doesn't mean that no one else has or that it can't exist at all.

(By the way, in Greek mythology, Philotes was a spirit/god embodying affection, friendship, and sexual intercourse. That is, both friendship and sex simultaneously, so the Greeks were quite familiar with such a phenomenon).

That's why such a level of intimacy is very bad and disgusting when it comes to family relationships – because everyone understands that there can be no platonic love in the family, there can be no that attraction, the family is about storge, not eros. It's about the love of a parent for a child or love between partners who have lost sexual attraction but retained a deep attachment.

Therefore, I would like us to one day in the fandom stop treating the possible sexual attraction between James and Sirius to each other as something disgusting and bad.

Moreover, if we take it as a universal canon that their relationship was platonic, then sublimated sexual attraction is present as a fact. Because there are no platonic relationships without erotic ones.

To love and to want are the same; one does not exist without the other. Love for a person's soul always passes through the stage of love for the body, if you love someone as some ideal Beauty and Good to which you are drawn (i.e., not the love of relatives and not the love of friends), then you love their body too.

Between friends who are platonic lovers, there can and should be sexual attraction. This attraction does not have to be realised in a pornographic act. They may not even realise it themselves.

And there's nothing shameful about it. And it does not affect their other relationships. They can still marry (Lily) and love her too, or date Remus and love him too.

#sirius black #bambibelle #james x sirius #prongsfoot #platonic prongsfoot #james potter #sweet puritanical fandom

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our-arospec-experience · 1 month

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Some Arospec Identities:

This is a list of some Arospec identities! It may be incomplete, and I am not an expert, so please let me know if there are any mistakes/identities you want added. :D

aromantic: experiencing little or no romantic attraction to anyone; not having romantic feelings.

aro flux: someone who fluctuates between experiencing romantic attraction and not experiencing it, and/or experiencing romantic attraction to different strengths.

abroromantic: explained here by an abro person

Akoiromantic/lithromantic: a person who experiences romantic attraction but has no desire or need to have their feelings reciprocated. Sometimes an akoiromantic person’s attraction may fade if a romantic relationship is established.

Alloromantic/zedromantic: someone who does experience romantic attraction. An alloromantic person may be allosexual as well, but not necessarily.

Cupioromantic: someone who does not experience romantic attraction but has a desire to be in a romantic relationship.

Demi(a)romantic: someone who only experiences romantic attraction after establishing a strong emotional connection to someone.

Frayromantic: someone who experiences romantic attraction, but this attraction fades after getting to know the object of attraction.

Grey-(a)romantic: someone who sometimes, occasionally, or rarely experiences romantic attraction. The attraction they experience may be weak, or it might be infrequent. Also used as an umbrella term for all romantic orientations that fall between alloromantic and aromantic.

Quoiromantic/WTF-romantic: someone who finds romantic attraction confusing, or cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, or is unsure of whether they experience romantic attraction.

Nebularomantic: is a neurosexuality specific to neurodiverse individuals, and it falls on the aromantic spectrum. It's a label for people who have difficulty telling the difference between romantic and platonic attraction specifically due to their neurodivergence (or can't tell the difference at all).

Caedromantic: having been able to experience romantic attraction in the past, and not experiencing romantic attraction any more, with the feeling that the romantic attraction was taken away/destroyed or left because of a traumatic experience.

Aegoromantic: Someone who is aegoromantic enjoys the concept of romance but does not want to participate in actual romantic activities. An example of this would be an aegoromantic individual enjoying watching a romantic show or reading a romance novel. However acting out these romantic stories in real life would not be appealing to an aegoromantic person. An aegoromantic person would typically not desire a romantic relationship.

Apothiromantic: People on the aromantic spectrum who consider themselves to be romance-repulsed, are called apothiromantic. A romance-repulsed aromantic is repulsed by the idea of romance all together. Like with any romantic identity, apothiromantic individuals can have any sexual orientation. Their aromantic identity is not directly connected to their sexual identity.

Arospike: is an aromantic orientation on the aromantic spectrum. This identity is for those who usually do not feel a romantic attraction. Sometimes however, an arospike can experience a (rare) sudden spike of aromantic attraction that will last for a short amount of time. After this they will return just as quickly, to aromantic.

autoromantic: is a term for people who experience a romantic attraction (exclusive or not) towards themselves. It can occur in different forms, such as: fantasizing about a romantic relationship with yourself. Or, as described above: feeling little to no romantic attraction to others but being able to feel romantic attraction to yourself.

Bellusromantic: defined as someone who has interest in (certain aspects of) traditional romantic behaviour such as holding hands and cuddling. However, a bellusromantic would not experience romantic attraction and does not want an actual romantic relationship. So they keyword here is ‘interest’. The interest is there, but a bellusromantic can’t and wouldn’t want to put it into practice.

Fictoromantic: falls under the aromantic spectrum as they do not experience romantic attraction to (real life) people. Fictoromantic is a term used for people who experience romantic attraction exclusively towards fictional characters. Fictoromantic is also known as fictonromantic.

Myrromantic: Someone who identifies as myrromantic is on the aromantic spectrum but might feel confused as to where exactly, as they can experience multiple aromantic identities at once. They can also rapidly fluctuate. As an example: a person who considers themself to be both demiromantic as well as grayromantic. This might be confusing to some, which is why myrromantic can be a more comfortable label to identify with.

Recipromantic: A recipromantic (also known as reciproromantic) is someone who does not experience romantic attraction until they know that the other individual is romantically attracted to them first. The word comes from the word ‘reciprocate’.

Requisromantic: someone who experiences a very limited, or no romantic attraction and interest due to some form of emotional exhaustion. The reason of emotional exhaust may have many reasons such as (bad) past experiences dealing with romance or other emotionally draining reasons.

amicusromantic: explained here by an amicusromantic person.

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strawberrys-starship · 9 months

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Ok so, I'm gonna warn you straight out the gate that this whole post is about a/b/o and the omegaverse, so if you don't like that scroll on 👍🏻

But basically I got thinking about how the omegaverse might add a whole new layer to queer identities and then I wrote all this! If you have something you'd like to add or comment on then feel free

(This also mentions sex and sexuality so beware I suppose)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

So I'm reading an a/b/o fic, as one does, and it got me thinking about how the a/b/o dynamic would affect the real world

So in this fic, basically as soon as the main pairing realized that they were an alpha and an omega, they like immediately start fucking. Like I'm not even joking they barely get into a private room and everything

And I was reading it and asking myself how realistic this would be if the omegaverse actually existed

And like, I know, its absolutely pointless to question the realism of a/b/o, because realism is not why it exists in the slightest, but it got me thinking anyway

So I very quickly came to the conclusion that no, obviously if the omegaverse existed not every single compatible omega and alpha would just immediately fuck eachother, just like how not every single compatible man and woman immediately fuck eachother

And then that got me thinking about how omegaverse sexuality works, just like, in general

Because from what I've seen and personally choose to believe, the omegaverse is kinda just an extra gender binary, right? Like it has a biological component, but also there's a larger social one on top of it. So is the omegaverse basically a new layer in the whole gender/sexuality cake? Are there specific labels for which a/b/o gender you're attracted to or identify as? Or is your secondary gender strictly a biological thing that doesn't branch into gender and sexuality?

What about ace people? How are they affected by it? What happens when a sex repulsed ace omega goes into heat? Does it give them a sex drive, or just make them run a high fever and nothing else? And the same things with ace alphas, do they just get a lot of morning wood and nothing else?

How do aro people navigate all this? Personally I like to think that the mating bites aren't inherently romantic or even sexual (and also don't have to be given during heats or ruts) so I imagine there's quite a lot of platonic bonds between people, like how some real aro people get married without any romantic intentions behind it. I imagine it's hard to navigate the world as an allosexual aro person too, seeing as in most cases, mating bites are seen as like, the ultimate goal when spending your heat or rut with someone, so trying to find safe avenues to actually deal with heats and ruts must be extremely difficult.

Rounding back to the whole labels thing, I'm wondering how specific they'd be, y'know? Like say you're a cis man, and also an omega, and you're only attracted to other omega men, how limiting or feasible is that as a concept? How many other omega men are also attracted to omega men, is it looked down upon? Does it even matter in this specific omegaverse society?

What about gender? Are there people who are say, a cis woman but a trans alpha? What about betas, are they the a/b/o equivalent of a nonbinary person? Personally I like to think of betas as basically the a/b/o intersex label (not an idea originally created by me, I'll say here) where they can show traits from both alphas and omegas in varying levels of intensity (which means that they often falsely present as one or the other, and usually that person doesn't know they're a beta till they get a medical examination or something similar)

But if that is the case and betas are just omegaverse intersex, then can there be trans betas? Obviously in real life, intersex is a medical thing not a gender identity and therefore you can't transition to become intersex, but we're working in the lawless land of omegaverse so who knows what's going on.

I think for my personal omegaverse headcanon, betas are intersex people and you can't transition to be a beta

Circling back again, what about the a/b/o equivalent of non binary and gender queer identities? Are there people who just don't identify or fall into the boxes of 'alpha' and 'omega' as gender identities? What would this be like for them? What would transitioning look like?

And again, this is all said in the assumption that the real life gender binary still exists, so could you be a cis person but be basically omegaverse nonbinary too? What would social transition look like? Because all the social hierarchy I've ever seen for a/b/o is based off of being able to smell someone's scent, right? So would a a/b/o nonbinary persons (I'm gonna start calling them gammas so I don't have to type that all out) goal if they decide to medically transition to be to get their scent as neutral as possible?

Would there be any social transition for a gamma person at all? Beyond how someone might be treated for their secondary gender, there's not a whole lot of so called 'gendered' language when it comes to a/b/o. Someone might refer to you by your secondary gender, but there's no pronouns or gendered names and terms related to it. So would you just be occasionally correcting people when they refer to you as an alpha or omega?

Also, what would just a general transition between one secondary gender to another look like? Like say you're an alpha who experiences gender dysphoria related to your secondary gender strong enough that you decide you want to take medical steps to change it. What would change with just hormones, what would need surgery? I imagine that your scent as well as scent glands would all change with hormones, but what about an alphas knot? Would you stop being able to knot once you started hormones, or not?

This also has the problem of an alphas and omegas general anatomy changing based on their biological sex too. Like, would a cis woman who was born an alpha but then later realized she was actually an omega need surgery to remove any alpha parts? (I still haven't decided what exactly a female alpha would have tbh)

How does all of this change if your just a regular trans person too? What would being a trans man who's also a trans omega look like and be like?

So many questions, so little time...

Ok, I think that's enough of pondering the orb for me...

#omegaverse #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o #queer #gay #bisexual #transgender #nonbinary #lesbian #ponderings #asexual #aromantic

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utilitycaster · 11 months

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GOD that post I just reblogged about how Succession is cracking something open on Imogen and especially the solstice lead up because it really is about how, once the words are out of her mouth and she says "well what if the Vanguard are right", there's a tension! There's a tension that wouldn't be there if she didn't have doubts, if she didn't have a pull - literally a blood tie in more ways than one - to the Vanguard, and so the choice she makes actually matters, and we as an audience can see her struggle with it and say "there is a way to decide to do what's right and stand by the people who made this possible rather than repeating the cycle (Liliana leaves her family/Imogen doesn't) and yet you still will feel a pull to that past. Maybe even a constant one and a strong one, at least for a while, and you'll wonder if you did the right thing." And all that disappears if you refuse that tension and believe it's impossible for people to make the "wrong" or "bad" choice!

And more generally it's why so much of the discussion about other flawed characters is so terrible. Who cares if Essek is a good or bad person in a vacuum, this isn't asking that, it's asking "what might make people change? What if you didn't ruin your life entirely and you can live it out, even if the consequences will always remain with you? What if other people like you believe the same thing? What if you could undo it? What if you didn't?" and both sides, those that jump to eternal condemnation of him for war crimes against pretend people, or the idea he is good because of some endless hypothetical journey of penance, miss out on that. That's why Percy is a good (in the sense of interesting and well-done fiction, not morality) character: because he's set up to answer the question "who would be so desperate as to introduce a horrible tool into the world, and what might that look like for them" and here's the thing, do you really believe that if Ripley hadn't got away that guns wouldn't have still gotten out in some way? That the secret would have died with Percy? But he's young and horribly traumatized and thinks he can control this and that also makes us think, and when he straight up asks a god if he's good or bad for doing it she says that's not the point. Redemption arcs aren't about who deserve them and that argument is moot. They're about who is offered them, and who takes that opportunity and who rejects it, and what might happen.

And to be clear I do like talking about the morality of characters - not in an abstract black and white This is Good and This is Bad, because those things are contextual, but in terms of harm to the other pretend people in the story, and intent, and efforts made, because that's fun. But god like. I have blorbos, I absolutely have blorbos, and I'll make my share of jokes about people who never did anything wrong in their life, but I think that's why I am so repulsed by the blorbo-ification that involves scooping up your special guy and sticking them in a mason jar terrarium and judging them solely on those qualities because they're part of the story. They're part of the story! They're here because (as I yelled in the tags of that post) it's really fucking hard to relate to the abstract concept of breaking the cycle, and very easy to relate to the person trying to escape. Characters are just part of the gedankenexperiments good fiction is setting up, which brings me to the other weird thing that's fueling all of this which is this excerpt of The Infinite Playground:

"Physicists, for example, contribute to a different aspect of our reality than, for another example, fiction writers. When physicists make an assumption, like the universe being a hologram, they know they can't prove it, but they can assume it and see what happens as a result. Fiction writers like to assume things and then pretend those things are real. Both connect us to through the imagination, but one must, out of the necessity of their mission, substantiate their work through their understanding and the observations of their peers; the others, the artists and planners and politicians, are not so much into substantiation as they are into becoming part of a shared belief, a community of believers, one might say."

Like the most important part about fiction is that you can prove things from the text, sure, and you should use evidence for inferences, but moral rightness isn't really a provable thing, and the point in the end isn't, well, to prove a point. It's to say I hope the poison doesn't drip through, I hope the venom in your veins is not inborn but can slowly wear off or even be purged, I hope the brokenness isn't irreparable or at least that it does not mean the building has to be abandoned and demolished, at least not for a while. And some stories exist to explore what happens when that hope is realized, and some to explore what happens when it isn't, and the characters are just the pins on which to hang it, and you're supposed to care about them in both of them.

#ANYWAY i'm normal about characters.#on fandom #(i mean there are other things that make you realize that moral rightness was never the point but this is the big one for me.)

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hella1975 · 7 months

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as someone who is extremely queasy and the thought of blood and gore makes me want to power wash my brain, can I ask genuinely what it is about cannibalism that is so intriguing? I swear that I’m not judging I’m just curious bc personally it’s one of those things that I absolutely refuse to let my brain think about

omg yes i can actually 100% so basically it shows a lot in my writing but im a fan of the extremes of human feeling like it's insanely compelling to me to consider the things we do when pushed into the darkest corner of a single emotion, be it love or hate or fear or anger or grief etc etc. we are a deranged species and we do deranged things when we feel too much of any one thing and it's the concept of extrapolating on that until you reach a point of it being too far, too much, too extreme, and the implications of that. we have cannibalism as one of the ultimate taboos, something that is rightfully so abhorred in society that many respond with horror at even the thought of it, and i actually like that about it. i like that we all - like you said - feel a certain repulsion to the initial thought. it's a biological knee-jerk because your brain fundamentally does not want to look directly at it. for the greeks, cannibalism was one of the greatest sins, greater than even murder, because kronos ate his children and zeus himself had no power over such a crime. to talk about the house of atreus again, the crime was so great that for atreus to subject his brother to it meant they were BOTH damned as a result, despite atreus himself not eating anyone. that's how extreme it is. you are inherently blurring the lines between people. there's supposed to be a victim and an aggressor, but when the horror is so unthinkable, what are you left with? most crimes are ingrained into us with strict responses and punishments, but with a crime this great, even after centuries of it featuring in our literature, we still can't look directly at it. that is ridiculously compelling to me.

so that's the bad, more literal side, but then we have love as consumption. again, this is considering the human reaction to a level of obsession and love so intense and unsustainable that it leads you to consuming each other. it's mutual destruction. it's being so tied to another person, so reliant on them, so adoring of them that the only way you can tolerate it is to put them behind your ribs and keep them, like a house keeps its occupants. the act itself - tasting, swallowing, savouring - is erotic. arousal exists in the heights of violence. the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference, because love and hate are actually more similar than they are different. rather than opponents on a battlefield, they're dancers seperated by a single, fine line, never becoming one another but fingertips brushing, sharing air. loving someone so much you feel crazy, you feel restless in your own skin like it's trying to crawl off of you; hating someone so much that you can't stop thinking about them; sex and violence as intimate acts shared with another person - love as consumption tackles these dangerous crossovers, because the love becomes so intense that it slips into traditionally hateful actions, violent actions. cannibalism; the great taboo. yet done by someone who genuinely sees it as an act of love, received by someone who views it that way. both so entangled and deranged by this single shared emotion. again, insanely compelling to me. and that's not even considering the implication of one person seeing every part of the other. back to your point and what i said about cannibalism being something we cant even look at, you're getting the most disgusting, unseen parts of someone and instead of being repulsed, instead of looking away, you're taking them in your bare hands and putting them to your lips. it's reverent it's religious it's- *my laptop is forcibly taken from me*

sucks that i have to say this bc i like to think people have critical thinking skills but i KNOW some mf is gonna anon me like 'STOP ENCOURAGING ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS >:(' so disclaimer; this is all just fun stuff to discuss and consider, and personally i talk about it almost solely from a writing pov anyway. if you're listening to ethel cain and unironically wanting to emulate that kind of dynamic then maybe you are too young and/or impressionable to be listening to ethel cain.

#and i mean that last note seriously btw like no judgement but if you catch yourself thinking like that #then genuinely take a step back bc you’re no longer viewing it as a piece of media utilitising language tools #im first and foremost a lana del rey girlie ive seen this shit before and i can PROMISE you the intention of this genre of media isnt #‘my partner hits me and i unironically in real life think it's romantic and devoted of him <333' lmao #like im telling you for a fact that you read that wrong and need to re-evaluate #ask

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bredforloyalty · 16 hours

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Hii would you like to share your favourite fics?? In any fandoms tbh i just trust your taste a lot 🫣

oh i am an animal i don't think i have good taste i have the taste of someone who's always horny and a teeeeny tiny bit fucked in the head jcsgbhy but i'm honored you asked and i'll share<33 you said you don't care if it's more smut or more plot so i didn't worry too much about that 👍

first off, a warning: most of these are explicit, involve incest, rape, child sexual abuse, and more!!! also most of them are on the shorter side + all are male slash! you'll be able to tell based on the pairing and the concept (i'll describe them a little) so just go by common sense and, idk. beware ahaha i'll go from some pairings to assorted and then the rick and morty ones will be under the read more (i feel like i can't leave them out because some of them genuinely made me insane and changed me as a person or allowed me catharsis like very very few fics before and even though it's repulsive to most others i can't deny that. there are big favorites in there. favorites of all time if i'm being fully honest). let's go..

gcest:

ghost dancer - by the lovely and talented rye @ supersonic1994!!!! noel overdoses on coke. i looove the image of kissing your brother when you think you're about to lose him forever,, does that make sense? love is love is love when one is desperate and if it's deep then it can transcend taboos and boundaries of self and all that shit. you know

things we never see - told through jill furmanovsky, their photographer, noel comes back (after they had almost broken up and he went to san fran without telling anyone). when it comes to them i do love an outsider pov. speaking of outsider pov,

you never notice you are blind - five times alan mcgee thinks he catches something between them and one time he definitely does. it is what it is

i don't really want to know - Nawt consensual, made me a bit sad hehe liam is not sick like him

some that are like, unhealthy jealousy possessiveness dubcon angst and so on: sins like scarlet, fishhook, what am i gonna dream now

samdean:

hungry til well fed - by the wonderful bug @ deanjohn (and mandymovie)!!! iconic cannibalism fic, just so them

brighter wound - wound blood pain codependency babeyyy

take the things you love - hathfrozen is iconic also.. i loved the heaven fic (you'll find it. if you want) but i want to share this because i like how conflicted sam is about their relationship and about the way dean treats him. smutty though

manhattan for beads - what i wrote down is this is the one where they try and it doesn't work and it's heartbreaking. so yeah candle_beck can be trusted w spn, iconic too

serpent round your heart - one of the first ones i read haha ^^

deanjohn:

where the evening splits in half - bug fic also!! all of bug's fics are great do check them out if you're interested in this pairing or dadson at all, seriously.. "Sam says, "I know how you felt about the man." No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know that Dad was a pig. He has no idea how far down Dean was in the mud with him. How dirty they both were, how much Dad ruined him."

midnight midnight - first time, dean hooks up with men so john can take blackmail pics and he gets jealous and yeah, hooray

and you learn how to settle for what you get - sex again but they're fucked up so it's always fucked up. dean never asked for it

waltjesse:

like i'm underwater - by the amazing @ kuleaxoxo!! yayyy power imbalance!! "Mister White's showing him off, isn't he?"

monaco - jesse gifts walt the watch. dubcon

i'm asking you to - rape roleplay, ignored safeword

others:

countercontrol - terence fletcher/andrew neiman, "Andrew leaves; but he always comes back. He likes to think that it’s of his own accord. But then he thinks of those paintings of staircases with the optical illusion of the stairs going nowhere except winding into each other, going the same place again and again, and ultimately going nowhere."

beach fag - roman roy/jeryd mencken, "Roman wishes he was a kid with an adult boyfriend."

the serpent under it - aaron stampler/martin vail, look i fucking love primal fear this is post-canon they get together etc. important to me

simple pleasures - edward nygma/bruce wayne, this is a big favorite i can't leave it out because when this was um coming out i was fucking obsessed. it's long i don't even read long fics

there's a head in the refrigerator - michael afton/william afton, this one's sort of self-explanatory..... i felt we needed necrophilia representation here

rick and morty:

bitter and begging - FAVE.. after the jealousy and possessiveness in vindicators 3 (the episode with the avengers copies that morty is enamoured with. who rick slaughters when he's off his shit and then covertly confesses how much he loves morty basically). this one really got me i think i cried because it's all so sad but um. full of love

that's my boy - this is the first of a series, i like that it's the start of.. the sexual abuse and they're still uncertain like i enjoy the in-betweens and when lines are crossed

love is a solitary thing - this one i love so much, it's about morty's fantasies and unrequited feelings for rick

safe - gen, morty starts talking with another morty whose rick rescues mortys from abusive ricks. i always really liked how the multiverse is like a prism? you can explore the different facets of their relationship and the possibilities and the extremes through it, you can have your characters meet their worst and their best versions, i just think selves from different dimensions are a great tool. in storytelling. and eliciting emotions. anyway rovingotter is fucking solid here

hands - a favorite.. the atmosphere... "He wonders if he'll still be sitting here in ten years, handing Rick his screwdrivers, feeling that hot instinctive rush of pleasure at knowing what Rick is going to ask from him before he even asks: bred for it."

the shape you made me - morty's stream of consciousness. i usually don't give stuff like this a chance but when i tell you that this affected me. because fuck it did affect me

the damage has been done - um..... internal cardiac massage fic 🥴

repurposed - "Is it ethical to leave the horrors of the universe at a boy's fingertips?"

and last but NOT least there's this series that i haven't read in full, just a little bit broken, that fucking killed me. tbh! i sobbed at some parts legitimately. maybe that's just on me i don't know maybe it isn't. the first 5 are crazy. admittedly alcoholism runs in my family too (lol!) and their relationship is so tragic.... this fic is about when rick quite literally stole the kid's dreams, concocted an entire plan to erode morty's love of heists and make him stop writing his heist movie script (and having any aspirations or plans outside of rick). when i watched that episode these are exactly the emotions i wanted more of.. it's madness......

#thanks for the ask 💞 sorry it took me ages haha #i haven't reread some of these in a while (or at all..) so if i find out they're bad i'll apologize later HXDGCY #ask

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trillscienceofficer · 3 months

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“[Star Trek: The Next Generations fourth season episode ‘The Host’ i]s one of the most outstanding episodes we've ever done,” says story editor Brannon Braga. “Being in love with someone is not very fresh. Having the parasite being as the real intelligence and the body as the host is. It was not originally pitched as a love story, it was pitched as a squirmy worm who's really the intelligence. What's ironic is that the most repulsive story ever pitched to us ended up being the most touching love story and that's why it's so unique." Elaborates Ron Moore, “The addition of Beverly to that story is the vital component. A lot of freelancers would take that premise and say this is a show about the ambassador and the struggles of the parasitic creature and the war negotiations. No one really cares about that. But when it becomes a Beverly problem, who's in the position with the problem, and to some extent Riker, that's how it became a Star Trek story.” Ultimately ‘The Host’ has become one of the most popular Trek episodes in light of its non-polemic, but effective, advocacy of tolerance and acceptance. [...] Although many questioned Dr. Crusher's rejection of Odan, once transplanted into a female body, as homophobic, [director Marvin] Rush disagrees vehemently. “Most of the people that I have talked to thought the show worked pretty well and were entertained. Some comment was that they were unhappy with the ending because it was left a question. There was, or could have been, a sort of homosexual aspect to is [sic] and we chose not to go that route with it. I felt that it was more about the nature of love, why we love and what prevents us from loving. To me the best analogy is if your beloved turned into a cockroach, could you love a cockroach? It's the same person, if the person is the personality and the core within, but can you get past the outside? We as humans are affected by the whole package, including the outside shell, and Gates [McFadden] in her last scene talks about maybe someday our ability to love won't be so limited. She says mankind may one day be able to deal with this, but I can't. To me that is about the nature of love and I think that's an interesting, worthy discussion. Rather than deal with the fact it was because of any homosexual bent per se, it's just that in our culture and our society people who are heterosexual who want the companionship of a male because they are a female, wouldn't be able to deal with that opposite situation.”

From “Captains' Logs: The Unauthorized Complete Trek Voyages” by Edward Gross and Mark A. Altman (1995)

[For the record, I'm quoting this while completely disagreeing with the argument Marvin Rush made here. I think it's a textbook example of someone going ‘no I'm not a homophobe but—’ while also bringing transphobic sentiments to the table in order to justify themself. And it would've been easy to entirely sidestep all these ad-hoc rationalizations for ‘The Host’, just by doing what ‘Rejoined’ did with the same concepts—of the Trill and of love transcending hosts while still not being quite enough for a happily ever after—only a few years later.]

#tng #trill tag #trek novels #captains logs #i have to say that i also kinda hate how much brannon braga and ron moore shaped the kind of trek i like :(

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leprosycock · 1 month

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I find it genuinely so interesting that you are able to hold your beliefs, which in how you've described them are very profound and beautiful, and also write topics and discuss scenarios that you can turn into violent gut-churning, highly visceral art... I so desperately want to internalize that! I struggle a lot with shame myself and everything I write I have an intense need to burn because of their heavy topics. And sometimes I wonder if theres something extremely wrong with finding delight in these concepts ... & the sickness gets overwhelming. Anyways, you're a beautiful writer and thanks for being honest about your intentions even if I can't fully understand it. I have been staring at my ceiling thinking about it...

thank you for praising my writing and considering the things i say to be so meaningful, it's very very sweet and that means a lot to me!! <33 i struggled a lot with overcoming shame and self-repulsion when it came to a lot of fictional topics in the past. i remember i ""quit"" dead dove stuff solely because i was bullied into submission years ago and then i would seek out dd fic and art to performatively rage over it, acting like i wasn't actually into it and THEY were the weird ones just because i secretly craved that emotional outlet. it took me a long time and finding kind, open-minded friends before i was able to let myself live the way i wanted and make the art that i cared about.

i think it's normal to be interested in these topics and every bit as normal not to be. i think that it takes a while to unhitch yourself from that sense of humiliation and that dirtiness, because especially in the age of rampant internet censorship and fandom becoming more divisive than ever, it's really easy to let that get to you. it's easier said than done, but you have to let yourself grow a thicker skin and let that judgement roll off your back. you're not a bad person for reading about weird sex shit. people have written and read about it for centuries. it exists everywhere. it's just a different genre that doesn't get nearly enough attention, because it's unsightly and harder for many to grapple with. but i believe that engaging with it absolutely does not make you a bad or filthy person. be kind and good in your every day life and kill everything you see on the page, because at the end of the day, nothing on it can live nor die

#i hope you find peace anon it is a long and harrowing emotional journey #bunnyaskz

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entropy-sea-system · 6 months

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OK OK impromptu rant but I need to get this out there as I still feel somewhat connected to the aro community-

I have been watching the tags, I've been talking the people in my local a-spec community and I think it amazes me just how incredible the relationships put forth by aro and aces are, while the communities just don't reflect any of it.

I've stopped identifying with the aroallo label because there was no sense of community associated with it. The a-spec spaces are made for aces only and the ace stuff in them is abhorrent. I am tired of people passing it off as repulsion, while still seeing people saying "hookers" are disgusting in a-spec tags. I'm tired of people saying PDA is bad. I'm tired of people acting like aros and aces can only be clueless cinnamon rolls. I'm tired of people being so so so stuck in their own perspective of the world they act like people in romantic relationships can't be happy. So on and so forth.

The concepts we have are passionating. They're the coolest ones I've been exposed to in queer communities. However, nobody thinks about them. Nobody speak about them. All we have is endless messages about how the world is so so confusing or hatred directed at sex and romance. I get that but I wish we went even a tiny bit past that really. It's a community filled with adults that feels so immature and I honestly think there is some sort of self infantilization going on. I don't like that I don't have symbols that aren't associated with uwu smol bean dragon lover stuff. It makes me sick and is why I don't identify with it anymore but it's genuinely sad to see because technically that's still the people who will relate to me the most.

It feels like people are always desperate to understand how the norm works and how they can best align with it instead of fully experiencing their identity. And that's an understandable thing to do but the community is just that with sex and romance negativity sprinkled on top of it.

I wish they were angrier. I wish they were more introspective. I wish they thought about breaking the norms more instead of headcannoning every female character without a love interest as aroace and talking about how gross sex is. I wish I felt like I can connect with the people who are supposed to be at least partly like me.

Anyway you're cool and I hope you're doing well! Sorry to drop all of this onto you but yeah I trust you with my ranty feels about the community.

We didn't really expect this ask but thank you for sending it!!

There are a lot of issues with the aspec community, especially online, (we have no experience with irl ones yet). And what you described here explains the issues with it quite well.

I feel like most of the aspec community ends up catering to mainly aces, and to a lesser extent aros, and slightly to apls, while other atertiary is hardly discussed (and agender ppl often just lump w gender stuff instead even though its aspec). I think the community is also rather divided, personally.

We're in some discord servers w mostly other apls and aros/run by other apl aros (often also romo aro) and they tend to overall be normal about aspec identities without being negative about attractions or actions or gatekeeping aspec labels. Currently we logged off discord a bit but we have in the past been in aro spaces that had many of the issues you mention , and still come across people being that way on tumblr.

I think there is a problem where some aros think that calling romance inherently toxic is somehow "activism" and deny that romance negativity exists, then claim that they "don't have to consider every culture ever" when people state that some cultures are romance negative and do harm people for engaging in romance.

They seem to think its "punching up" and some alloaros in particular try to justify it by acting like the united states is the only country that matters and citing sex negativity as a reason for romance negativity "not existing". When aces do this about sex its harmful, but thats not supposed to be a reason to deny that being romance negative is toxic and harmful to others even if their country doesn't persecute people for engaging in romance.

I also personally see a some aros hesitant to id with ace or acespec terms that technically fit them because of how bad the ace community has been about sex and anyone who isn't ace, as well as aces and aros generally forgetting about atertiary ppl. Some of them prefer terms like lightspec or such or allospec partly because of that.

It's understandable that some people feel a disconnect from labels like aro and ace as a result of how the communities tend to be tbh. I've had moments when I didn't want to id as aro because of this, and I consider myself both aro and alloro due to my arospec orientation.

Also being tertiary repulsed and being repulsed by sex repulsion (it just happens to repulse me a lot to read about even if not stated in a sex negative way), makes it a bit hard to be around other aspecs. I feel really disgusted and triggered when other aros talk about squishes and qprs and friendships, even if I think they should be able to talk about that. Which makes it hard to be around some other aros.

I also get what you mean about people trying to align with the existing norm. I'm seeing a rise in people maligning labels they don't understand and this attitude of "the only kind of weird thats fine is the kind of weird I am", which the aspec community has certainly not been immune to either.

I feel like for some reason most aspecs I see online, especially aros, are minors? Maybe because the aromantic label only really caught on after 2005 iirc so older people less likely to have heard of it? Im not a huge fan of how aspec tends to be infantilised either. I find issues with how some of the aro symbols are very derivative of ace symbols because we are not some extension of ace we're our own community. I can also see how ppl may find it too infantilising to have symbols like frogs and griffons etc.

Also yeah what is with people doing that about characters who are women or girls and express that they don't want to get married??? Or even just don't have a love interest. I understand if aroaces want more headcanoned rep or non-aspecs I guess idk want to fill some headcanon diversity quota without actually supporting aspecs but.

Not wanting marriage or not having a love interest is not inherently equal to not wanting romance and/or sex. I feel especially that people like to assume not wanting to have children means not wanting sex (which I find pretty reductive in that its acting like thats the only reason ppl have sex, especially as a sex favorable person who doesn't want kids). And all aspecs deserve more canon rep to begin with. I think I have a gripe with ppls aspec headcanons almost always being alloace or aroace. It's like they forget other aspecs like apls, alloaros, neu aros, non sam aros, atertiary, etc. even exist!

Additionally I think its partly because romance is emphasized more for female characters that even fans decide to make their interpretations about romance/a lack there of as if its the character's only personality trait. In my opinion its just as obsessive about romance if someone thinks all there is to a character is not engaging in it. I also see people act like they're solely worried a woman/girl character is going to fall for a man/boy character they hc as aro but not often the opposite like. Just say you see romance as gendered/feminine in some way and go I guess lol.

I also feel like mainly allistic non-aspecs do this but when ppl hc an autistic character as ace or aroace it feels infantilising if theres literally no other rationale behind their headcanon. I feel desexualised at times as an autistic and thats mostly bc ppl pick up on some kind of nd thing and they assumed I'm too "innocent" to like romance or sex, or because they view us as "unable to consent"(which can be true of some people if their neurodivergence affects their ability to consent to things even as an adult, but isn't universally true.) . I think some of this perception is also rooted in eugenics (due to people equating sex with having kids and viewing disability and/or neurodivergence as a tragedy and thinking its 'bad' for disabled and/or nd ppl to have kids).

So I don't really appreciate implications that someone is ace just by virtue of being autistic. I think its also unfair to autistic aros and aces because our neurodivergence can influence our orientation, but being autistic does not mean that makes someone inherently ace and/or aro.

My physical disability is relatively mild and less talked about (chronic pain and fatigue), and I don't reveal it to most ppl(ppl who dont live with me won't know I get exhausted from non-taxing to abled ppl activities, and chronic pain is not visible at all and we can't get mobility aids due to not being independent yet) so Im not fully aware how people view my apl and aro identities in that regard.

And there is definitely an issue with aspecs trying to enforce NEW norms. They cry about how people are forced into performing romance and sex to fit in but then turn around and tell people they need to love or have friends or family or pets in order to be a good person. It's also very harmful to aspecs bc some of us are loveless or atertiary etc. in ways that aros and aces apparently hate lol. A lot of aros in particular are very platonormative.

The aro community is also rather hostile to romo aros. There are still people who exclude romo aros from the aro label or act like we have to bend over backwards and acknowledge that we are "amatonormative oppressors" for liking romance or feeling some connection to it.

I think also the meme about putting a box away on a tall shelf away from a child is relevant here. The word amatonormative is constantly misused by a lot of aros. I've seen aros call alloromantic apls "amatonormative" and act like "amatonormative" means 'person who engages in romance'.

Its not a term abt engaging in romance or liking it. It's also not an excuse to pressure people to have or like friends either. I think aros should have actual discussions about amatonormativity that aren't just US-centric and about romance(wow do aros love to ignore that monogamy, non-queer, cis, etc. are social categories deemed more valuable under amatonormative societal norms), instead of using it to describe anyone they deem as interested in romance .

On that note, a lot of them use some examples of toxic relationships as reasons to call romance toxic and almost advocate for romance to never exist(which is especially disgusting to see for me, as in my country a lot romance negative conservative rhetoric is literally worded the same way). These people almost never acknowledge that other relationships like friendship can be toxic too.

I think some of these people believe in 'morality of repugnance' in that they think if its something they personally find repulsive in some way, that means its inherently immoral, which is not conducive to having unbiased views of the world, or critical thinking. I think a lot of ppl my age and younger are especially trying to do this because Ive lost count of how many I've seen be like "ewww thats gross/weird and so its wrong/immoral", and literally spouting conservative rhetoric while thinking they're politically liberal/leftists, perhaps with different wording but yeah. (I think that one tumblr post abt ppl in that age range being 'conservative on accident', especially in the united states- though that is concerning given the way ppl from other countries tend to absorb american opinions and such too much, describes this phenomenon)

I think some aros are also still so caught up in how much of a tragedy they think their aromanticism is, and I feel bad for them but thats not all there is to being aro and its a bit weird when ppl act like it is.

I think one of the best things about being aspec for me is feeling more like I can engage in and not engage in relationships (Im only favorable to sexual partnerships w no label other than 'sexual partner', and romance only w two partners as of now, and completely averse to all tertiary/nonrose. before I fully realised my aspec identities i pressured myself to have friends and felt like I'd be obligated to be favorable to nonsexual romance if someone wanted that with me, to 'be an ally to aces', even though it repulsed me. I also felt obligated to want qprs especially after realising Im aro. Realising Im atertiary helped me stop forcing myself to want nonrose relationships.)

Anyways that was a lot of rambling but probably most of my opinions on the aro and some extent aspec community.

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livepoultryfreshkilled · 7 months

Text

i'm well aware this is divorced from the original purpose of zombies but as they exist in modern pop culture and general knowledge i'd like to talk about my personal, emotional experience with them. the idea that is. never met a zombie in real life that i know of

okay so i do not like the walking dead, zombieland, apocalyptic horror (just taste based, not my thing, more anxiety/despair inducing than scary) but flicks like night of the living dead, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (!!), general concepts of zombies always terrify and enthrall me. the things that have always terrified me abt zombies have been

the degredation of your own humanity and loss of control over ur body and

the kind of suffocating inevitability of the real monster being the virus, because you can kill a zombie but you cant really kill a virus.

this of course has been obviously effected by the current pandemic, which has shown me how inescapable the need for human spaces and contact is, and how many people can be capable of infecting you at once. like just hordes of other human beings. werewolves are wolves and vampires are vampires but zombies are (often) dead people without the capacity for reason. just the loss of yourself not thru death but thru zombification and the lack of humanity in the enemy. there is only so much you can do to keep from being sick, and i fear and dread societal collapse in media, i hate loss i hate it when people don't have their things and i hate when they can't be with each other. as a child i developed a mild agoraphobia until i reasoned that zombies can't climb stairs so any elevated location is safe because people are all over this planet. theyre everywhere! zoo wee mama!

when i say scared i mean my kind of primal childhood fear reactions, because i had a really very bad fear of zombies when i was a smalltime. in terms of now, my conscious view of them, yall know i love izombie and i love in the flesh too, when it comes to classic monsters i pick zombies over vampires and werewolves. this is because i

always feel the need to pay attention to whatever or whoever is getting the least attention. it makes me sad that nobody wants to be a zombie because what if zombies saw that wouldnt they be sad. they dont have any powers they're the underdog here and that's my archetype

generally develop fixations on or fetishes for the things that scare me the most. i feel like me and zombies have been through a lot, they're the monster i grew up thinking about because i was scared of them, and there's this belief i have that monsters won't hurt you if you're kind to them instead of afraid, so it's sort of a coping thing i suppose

i think decay rot and disease and grossness and corruption of the flesh and dead bodies are sick + awesome + cool. totally rules. i LOVE the idea of conscious zombies because to experience the degredation and destruction of your body, but not through pain (werewolves) and to experience your own death but not in the sense of living beyond death alone, stretching into immortality (vampires) but like, being a corpse watching those around you treat you like one but feeling and thinking everything a human does is crazy. eating brains is crazy, thats thoughts, you cant feed on someone you love like a vampire that is permanently destructive and repulsive and messy. awesome

and so ends my catechism (i am going to keep talking about this)

#aries.doc #horror #zombies

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