#the combo of my period coming and it being valentine's day AND tomorrow being my dad's birthday
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Grief is fun... such fun...
#the combo of my period coming and it being valentine's day AND tomorrow being my dad's birthday#AND the day after that being the 1 year anniversary of my nanna's death#AND the stress this current show has caused me really is not a good combination#i feel like i've been on the verge of tears for like 2 days at least.#i walked by my favorite bakery today and noticed their menu board advertising special valentine's day things#and i suddenly remembered that last year i had bought stuff from that bakery for my dad's birthday#including one of the special valentine's day things. but the happy memory of that birthday treat for dad#was wiped away less than 24 hours later by grief. and only just today. 363 days later. did i remember i did that.#my dad made a 'joke' a couple days ago. saying 'nanna decided after 60 years she'd had enough of me'#referencing the fact she died the day after his birthday. which is i guess a good step in the grief process#because i know he was grieving far more on his own than he was in front of me#but also it wasn't totally a joke. it was a joke yes. but like. not a joke. he's still hurting.#and just. life needs to stop lifing. and it needs to stop being so complicated.#especially mid-february like you're already cold and dark do you have to cause all these emotions over three days come on
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