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#the clones probably don’t even know how baby’s are made but for the sake of this joke let’s pretend
starsanatomy · 1 year
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I don’t know what possessed me to draw this but idk
based on this post
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nalyra-dreaming · 1 year
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Hi! I finally get the chance to read ch 8! Took me long enough 😆 All of Loustat interactions are so sweet!! Really hope the show would give us more interactions like yours in the show! I don’t know if you have address this yet, but can I ask again your opinion on ‘baby trap’ ? Is more that Louis want Claudia to make him feel less lonely when their relationship is falling apart? Or the baby of the family would come even if the relationship is not falling apart? Can you tell me all your thoughts again? And with Rose and Victor?
Hey nonny!
Awwww thank you for the feedback, so glad you liked the interactions! More to come ☺️
I... and I'm aware that this may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think their relationship is falling apart there just yet. It's at an impasse. Their marriage is not as Louis has probably imagined it. His professional life is in shambles. His family support is gone. The vampiric life is not as freeing as he thought.
Louis triggers the Storyville catastrophe (there is much more to this, and it must have been brewing for a while, but for the sake of brevity lets shorten it to this), and tries to blame it on Lestat when he calls him out on deluding himself - and then he deliberately wounds Lestat and rushes out. (Now, this is not to take blame for that little clusterfuck discussion away from Lestat (the anniversary comment... seriously, honey, did you s/o look like he would feel the same...), but the fact remains.) And I think Louis backed himself into a corner with it. And he also has mentioned that he wants a family... and more than implied that it is not a family for him (yet) with only Lestat.
Despite being a vampire, with powers, he cannot help those in need in Storyville. And he wants to. He wants to do something, change something. And he finds her.
And... despite the fact that he could turn her himself, or that he could take her to a hospital... he rushes back with her to Rue Royale, to Lestat. I'm not sure whether he knew what he was doing there, tbh. I think it was more instinct than anything else, and the rather pure wish to save her. (Louis turns two vampires in his life, both for Claudia (when all is said and done)... but he actually never wants to. I think this unwillingness applies here, too, and is one reason why he takes her to Lestat.)
It's an offer.
He spells it out, and you can see the shift in Lestat as he does it, the awareness that comes with it. I find the expression on Lestat's face then hugely interesting, it's between a snarl and a smile, but in an extremely wounded way.
Louis wants a family, and asks him to give it a try (once more), despite everything.
And Lestat, despite all of Marius' warnings, and against his (spoken out loud) better judgement, agrees.
Now, Claudia ends tragically. However they'll spin it, I'm pretty sure it will stay that way. A child, saved from the flames, ending in ash.
And then... later, much later, there's Rose.
A child, saved by Lestat. Put up with a host family instead of turning her, but kept track of, by Lestat and Louis, who obviously have learned from their mistakes. It is really a shame that we do not get more background info on how this caring for her might have come to pass, but Louis then coming to her rescue (and avenging her, too) is strangely fitting.
A child, saved from the flames, that lives.
Eternally even, since she is later turned, after falling in love with Viktor, Lestat's... errr.... (clone-slash-mini-me-made-by-Fareed) son. (I would pay so much money just to see Sam play an "innocent Lestat", seriously. Lestat without trauma, without the mean streak. Like... I want to see it?!!!)
When I first read Rose's and Viktor's story I did not care about it much. In fact it irritated me^^. Who was this woman again? Who fell head over heels for Viktor (and why the hell did that have to happen?!), and why was Louis coming to the rescue and taking her to Trinity Gate amidst all that was happening??? Like.... why....??? :)
Rereading I get it now, I think.
And...
The show added the parallel with the fire for Claudia. I think, that if we really get to the Prince Lestat arcs (and I hope we do!) that we get to see the parallel with Rose.
And what she means, for both Louis and Lestat.
The girl they saved who died.
And the girl they saved who lived.
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ironmandeficiency · 3 years
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accidents happen
pairing: kix / mechanic!reader (afab here)
word count: 2163
summary: accidents happen even to the most careful people.
a/n: can be read as part of the kix/mechanic!reader universe i accidentally made (here, here, and here). made some tweaks to the og req but stuck to the general theme. sprinkled in a few of my oc boys for ✨flair✨
warnings: speeder crash, prego!reader
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you don’t remember much of the speeder crash. it was a blur of lights, a cacophony of twisting metal and the screams of passersby as they worry about the wellbeing of those involved. that is, until your head slammed too hard against the controls and knocked you out cold.
the sensations of latex icicles checking your pulse roused you from your unconscious state. your eyes struggled against the bright lights of what you knew was the five-oh-first medbay, the foggy yet familiar voices of frantic clones being a dead giveaway. they were worried about many things—your condition after the wreck, whether you would be able to return to field work with them once you recovered, kix’s reaction once he catches wind of what happened...
kix hadn’t kept his cool when your arm was slightly crushed by general skywalker’s delta-7 aethersprite, how was he going to handle his cyare being in a speeder crash?
answer’s simple: he wouldn’t.
kix had just left the operating room when he heard the commotion of a new patient being brought in. jogging to the cot where they lifted the patient, he pushed his way through the unusually tight crowd of vode until he got to the foot of the bed. “alright boys, what do we got?”
“speeder crash just outside of 500 republica, two broken ribs, a—oh we got it taken care of kix, go get some rest-”
“you just left surgery, take a break!”
“this’ll be easy peasy, we got it!”
the voices of his brothers were agitated as the crowd was damn near trying to push him away. with a few well-placed nudges and shoulder bumps, kix realized that they indeed were trying to push him away. this just made him all the more intent on figuring out why they were trying to boot him out. he was a medic for kriff’s sake, bronco had no business trying to shove him out of the way like that!
“easy peasy my shebs, bronco! i…”
it was you.
you were lying unconscious on the bed in front of him, surrounded by brothers on all sides as the other medics, clone and civvie alike, were taking care of you. there was an oozing, bloody gash along your temple and a growing knot that was already grossly discolored.
it was instinct for kix to want to take point on this. it was you, he didn’t want anything to go wrong. and if something did go wrong, he wouldn’t want to have the scapegoat of blaming a vod for anything. it had to be on him, he had to be the one to take care of you.
the protests of several vode immediately follow kix’s insistence, multiple hands starting to pull him from your bedside. he begins to struggle against them and they immediately start to grip him tighter as they guide him towards the exit.
“you can’t do this! i need to-mmph! be here! let me go!”
“you know why we can’t do that, vod.”
“bantha karking shit you can’t! i need to be there, you don’t understand!”
arguments continued and tension mounted in the medbay, kix still fighting to get to you while the others were either treating you or holding him back. all other conscious thought ceased to be, the gut instinct of taking care of you being his only purpose.
then a firm voice booms through the chaos with enough force to wake the dead as he calls the medic’s name.
“leave, kix. that’s an order.”
rex’s heart was being smashed by his own boot as he spoke. he hated having to be the one giving the ultimatum to the frightened medic in front of him, but as captain, the burden fell onto him. kix was clearly not able to separate you from what needs to be done for the patient and he was not going to allow that kind of responsibility on his vod’s shoulders.
not if he was going to be able to sleep tonight.
rex’s eyes betrayed how much it hurt him, but the bristling of his words showed no such emotion. he couldn’t show any of this inner conflict, not as a captain and especially not as ori’vod to nearly every man surrounding your bed. but the men know that their captain isn’t heartless, that he views you as one of the best things to happen to the five-oh-first, that he has a reason for everything he does.
it takes a hell of a lot more convincing (read: sedative) to get kix to back down. rex and fives carried the medic to the barracks, taking care to lay him down gently. the proximity to the younger trooper told rex that a sedated kix was having more of an effect on him than he let on.
even though fives had other duties to take care of while on leave, rex knew that a distracted fives would not be able to complete any of them to his regular standards. so, like a good captain and ori’vod, he excused the younger brother from his tasks.
“you can stay with him,” rex could read the arc trooper like a datapad; fives was tense and afraid, two feelings that only his closest brothers would recognize on him. “he’ll probably feel better if someone’s here when he wakes up.”
“but rex—“
“i know you stayed with him the last time his cyare was injured, fives. he would be grateful to have someone with him during this.” fives nodded his thanks grimly, taking his perch at kix’s bedside.
rex returned to the medbay with haste, hoping against hope that your injuries were mild. his return to the medbay was met with you awake, recounting the story of how you were rammed by a rogue speeder that ran their traffic light.
“we’re just glad you’re okay, gotabor.”
“yeah, no speeder can keep you down.”
a wave of peace rushes over the tired captain and he takes his leave. you were okay, kix would be okay, the five-oh-first would be okay.
queen and starchild continued to praise your resilience (“the toughest mechanic in the gar” is what you’ve been dubbed) before they’re cut off briskly by morticus, whose face was sporting a strangely lighter expression, like some of the burdens he carried were lightened for a moment.
“but we also have some news, gotabor. some that you really should be told in private.”
your first instinct is to tell morticus that you trust these men with your life, that anything he had to say could be said in front of them. but something in his eyes told you that pushing the matter wouldn’t end well. “i’ll be here when you get back, boys,” you give the remaining troopers soft smiles and a gentle squeeze of their hands, reassuring them that you were okay now, that in the hands of the five-oh-first you were the safest you’ve ever been.
they took a reluctant leave, looking over their shoulders one last time as they left the medbay. it wasn’t that they didn’t trust morticus, no not that at all, it just seemed that you had a penchant for getting injured and when brothers were repeatedly injured in increasingly severe ways, they didn’t always stay around much longer.
morticus is quick to say what he needs to, privacy being a very rare luxury in a five-oh-first medbay whether on leave or otherwise. “now that we have some privacy, gotabor, i have some news.” again, there was this happier lilt to his voice that he just didn’t have. morticus was stoic, cynical, even a bit dickish on the right day. to see him smile and sound happy about something was abnormal but pleasant all the same.
“is everything alright?”
“more than alright—you’re expecting.”
your face warped in your confusion, eyebrows crinkled and lips slightly pursed. “expecting what, morti?”
this man laughed—genuinely laughed—at your reply and if you weren’t so distracted by your perplexion, you would have said something about how nice his laugh is.
“a child, gotabor’ika. you’re pregnant.”
a sly grin made an appearance, morticus’s voice slightly teasing. the air was lighter around him than it has been in a long time and he was going to enjoy it with everything he’s got. “i’m going to assume that the baby belongs to kix—“
“of course it’s his, di’kut! but we had been so careful, always using protection! i don’t know how this happened…” racking your brain, you tried to remember a time when the two of you were a little less than careful but came up empty. “we weren’t trying for this, morti. it just happened, it was an accident.”
he patted your thigh with a smile. “sometimes accidents happen to even the most careful people. just take this as a win and keep going.” something to your far left beeped—another brother’s machine—and morticus quickly reverted back to tense medic mode, scrutinizing the readings before taking notes in their datapad and returning to your side.
“you got this, gotabor. you’re made of the stronger stuff.” he flurries around you, making sure you’re as comfortable as possible before telling you to rest and that kix will be with you soon. it didn’t take a seasoned member of the resolute to know that kix was so devoted and bent on protecting you however possible, and you knew that he was probably sedated yet again. he would be here when he’s up, you know he will. you just hoped that he liked what he was waking up to.
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rex made sure to stop by kix’s bunk to tell fives that you were conscious and by all accounts, appeared to only be mildly banged up. the way the tension fell from his vodika’s shoulders comforted rex, glad that he could give the arc good news to depart onto the unconscious medic before them, the smile on his face genuine as he departed from the barracks.
it wasn’t very long after rex left that kix began to stir. as predicted by fives and the rest of those aware of the situation, his first waking thoughts and concerns were for you. the arc was quick to console his vod and encouraged him to go to the medbay to see you as if kix could have been stopped. fives had to bargain (and trade some of his favorite candies from his stash) to convince kix to let him walk to the medbay with him, the medic still on shaky legs after being sedated.
everyone with a lick of sense knew to steer clear of kix until he was able to see you again. they made a path for him and fives without hesitation, knowing that all hell would be let loose if any of them tried to stop their advancing to the medbay.
“special delivery for gotabor’ika!” fives shouts as he enters, promptly getting shushed by coric and morticus.
you laugh from your cot when you hear your second favorite trooper before you see him. “over here, fives!” he follows your voice and soon, kix is being deposited on the foot of your bed with a smile.
fives grins and pokes his cheek, signaling for a small peck in return for his services. “now if you’ll just sign here-ow!” honestly he should expect the light slap you deliver to his face instead. “you got him from here, gotabor. get better soon, i don’t trust those kriffing ships without ya!” he leaves with a smile and a wave, comforted to see that you’re truly okay.
kix still hasn’t laid down with you and you’re slightly worried. by now, he’d be wrapped all over you like a tooka to lothnip. you nudge him with your foot to get his attention and when he finally meets your gaze, his eyes are wet. it looks like he’s trying his best to not cry but it’s soon to be a losing battle.
“kix, baby what’s-“
“you’re pregnant.”
the datapad with the reports of your injuries and conditions is cradled in his palms. bloodwork has never lied to him before but every nerve is on edge, like this would all be pulled out from under him the moment he let himself indulge in the what-if’s.
you weren’t sure how he would react to the news and he isn’t exactly giving you any hints as to how he feels about this which slightly worries you; kix has never been one too shy away from telling you his thoughts and the fact he’s doing it now has your stomach in a knot. “honey, what-“
your question can’t even leave your lips before the datapad is tossed on the bed and he’s wrapping his arms around you, face buried into your shoulder and failing to hold back the tears. at least he doesn’t seem to be angry, that’s a plus. “i love you so much, ner gotabor,” he raises his head to meet your eyes, one hand resting on your stomach with a teary smile. “i love both of you.”
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kix taglist: @blue-space-porgs @leias-left-hair-bun @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @olluea @catsnkooks @simping-for-fives @captainrexstan @mackstrut @battletales @stardustsunrisekisses @darthadeline @artemis61003 @majorshiraharu @getdookuedon @capricornrabies @jedi-mando @whovianwar @hornystarwarsbisexual @bo-kryze
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ilonga · 3 years
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new chapter of coppertop is out!
ao3
"The Clone Wars are over!" 
"For good."
* * * * *
The cheers are overwhelming. The Senate floor shakes with the strength of them, vibrating on its very foundations as Senators, Representatives, and aides shout and grin and laugh and cry. Palpatine, for his part, looks on from above, a cooly satisfied expression on his face. 
Anakin, for his part, grips the side of the Senate pod a little tighter instead of cheering. Or crying. This. . . this is everything he's hoped for. Isn't it?
He can't believe it. The war is over. The war is over.
He locks eyes with Padme, on the other side of the Senate. He can't tell how she's reacting.
"At long last," Palpatine continues, voice booming out through the building. The Senators quiet quickly. "Our years of hard work, of courage, of battles have come to fruition! Senators, representatives, citizens of the Republic, today we have reunited our great Galactic Republic. Today all of the people of our galaxy live under one flag. Today, everything is right with our galaxy."
"Of course," he continues, tone suddenly softer, "With this beautiful victory comes a new era, and all its necessary changes. It is with great humility and gratitude that I announce that from this moment forth, the office of the Chancellor relinquishes all emergency powers given during wartime. There is no need for them any longer. We are in an era of peace, prosperity, and. . . democracy."
He pauses and leans forward. "Let today be known as the first day of Galactic Reunification." The cheers, if possible, have returned even louder than before. "And may our children's children still celebrate it for years to come."
* * * * *
This time, it's Padme excusing herself from Bail and running at him full force. 
"Anakin," she says breathlessly, wrapping her arms around him and bringing him into a kiss. They pull apart, and words seem to fail her. They fail him, too.
They walk back to her apartment in silence, Padme smiling all the way with her arm in his. 
"It's over," she says finally, once they come to a stop in front of the door. "The war. . . the war is over."
"I can't believe it." he says honestly. Numbly. What does his life even look like without a war? Without constant deployments, a rapidly shrinking battalion, a damn near weekly electrocution session?
Huh. Wait. Do Jedi in peacetime. . . even have deadly encounters on the daily? What do they even do? Sit in the Temple? Negotiate trade deals? He tries to imagine it and finds that he can't. What does a Jedi's life look like if they're not fighting for it? What does the galaxy look like if it's not rapidly falling apart?
Padme looks up at him in confusion and he realizes he's frowning. "You're acting so strange," she says. "I thought this was what you wanted."
"It was—it is what I wanted." he rushes to say. "I'm just—surprised. That's all. It's all happening so fast."
"Should have happened faster if you ask me." she grumbles. "It's about damn time." 
He laughs as they enter, taking care not to hit his head on the doorframe. If he squints, he imagines he can see a difference between the apartment now that it's peacetime versus before.  A little brighter, he'd like to think. Cleaner. Happier. "It still feels too good to be true."
Padme rolls her eyes at him in a rare display of playfulness. "My husband, ever the pessimist." she says, ignoring Anakin's snort of protest. "It's been less than a day of peace, Anakin. We've been fighting the war for three years. Of course it feels strange."
"So," she continues pulling him towards the couch, where they collapse in a giddy heap, "how long do I have you for, this time?"
When do you need to rush back to the Temple through a side door, is what she's really asking, and he's already cataloguing—Ahsoka's not back from Mandalore, yet, and Obi-wan should be in his quarters, resting, if he knows what's good for him, but this—this is huge. The war is officially, finally, over for good. Maybe he should be at the Temple for this. Will the Council need him? Sure, his position on the Council is a joke at best and a political tug-of-war at worst, but maybe they'll need a report of the Chancellor's actions. 
He dismisses the thought with a sharp huff. If they want to know what the Chancellor said, they can just watch the broadcast from the official channels, like everyone else. No need to bring treason into it. 
The Council. . . the war is over. The war is over. Which means. . . his glance lands on Padme's hands, resting gently on her abdomen. 
"Maybe I should just get it over with today," he says, realisation dawning on him slowly.
"What?"
Anakin turns to look her in the eyes. "Leave the Order." He reaches up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "The war is over. I can just—just go now. I'll tell the Council about us, turn in my saber, and then we can . . . I can just bring my stuff over." He doesn't even have all that much to carry—just a trinket or two, spare clothes, he doesn't even need the droid parts—He's giddy, all of a sudden. They've been talking about this, daydreaming about this, for years, and now the day is here and it's so much simpler than he could have ever imagined—Padme's due any day now— "We'll get you set up with a medcenter, and then we can go to Naboo, just like you wanted, and—"
"Anakin," Padme says, brow furrowed, "Anakin, slow down."
He stops. She doesn't sound nearly as excited at the prospect as he is. 
"You want to," she blinks rapidly, "leave the Jedi? Obi-wan? Ahsoka? Just like that?"
She sounds surprised. Why does she sound so surprised?
"You're due any day now. I don't want to leave them, of course I don't, but—we're going to be parents, Padme. A family. I've made my choice."
He half laughs. "It's not like we can keep it secret for much longer."
Padme bites her lip and looks down. "Anakin, you killed Dooku. You're half the reason this war is over. I hardly think they'll just—throw you away. Like you're nothing."
Anakin flinches at that. It's not like that, he wants to say. We knew what we were doing. We knew we were breaking the rules. "The rules—" he starts to speak.
"—are outdated." Padme cuts him off. "And we both know it."
"That doesn't mean they'll just throw them away for one person." In truth, he's not so sure how he feels about the Code and its rules. He's always felt. . . conflicted, for lack of a better word. But he's at peace with his decision to leave, to devote himself to Padme and their new family. Or. Well. He was. Now Padme's gone and dug up all his old insecurities again. 
"Fine." Padme finally says, albeit unhappily. "Fine, you go and tell them, and if they decide to kick you out, that's their prerogative, I suppose. But for goodness sakes', stop acting as if you want to get kicked out! You're a fine Jedi, Anakin. You can be both, you know. You don't need to—you don't need to martyr yourself for my sake."
"I'm not—that's not—" He cuts himself off, frustrated. "Fine."
"Good." She settles backwards, leaning against him again. Then— "Oh!" Padme says, hand flying to her abdomen. She turns, grinning, and grabs Anakin's hand—the flesh hand, that is—to press it against her belly. "Did you feel that? He kicked!"
"She," he banters back absentmindedly. Leia, he remembers them discussing a few days ago. Luke if it's a boy, Leia if it's a girl. He closes his eyes to try and sense the baby's presence, feeling a slight lurch under his palm.
It's. . . strange. Reaching for the force is strange. Like pushing aside a heavy curtain. He strains for a few seconds before finally—there. The presences are distant, far more distant than they should be, and he has a momentary lurch of panic but they're there, light and joyful and alive in a way—
Wait.
Presences?
"Padme," he says numbly, reaching again and—Yes. He's right. "There are two."
Padme pales rapidly. "What?"
"I—twins. There are two."
She gapes at him, blinking rapidly, then glances down at herself then back up again. "The med droid—oh, force, when I told it to keep it a surprise I didn't mean the number of babies!"
"We'll manage," he says, pushing past the shock. Two—two babies. Will they have Padme's eyes or his? Blond hair or dark? And two—sithspit, this makes the force-sensitivity question even more complicated than it already was. They'll have to adjust the nursery, for sure.
"I didn't—I didn't know." she says with a slightly bitter edge. "I should have known."
"Padme, you're the strongest person I know." Anakin says firmly. "And this is on the med droid, not you." 
"Really," she says wryly, changing tone. "Even Obi-wan? Yoda? Ahsoka? Your men?"
 "The strongest," he promises, biting back his grin. 
Padme takes a breath. "If it's two boys, I'd like the other after my father. But if it's two girls. . . what do you think of naming her Shmi?"
Oh.
"That's—wonderful." He blinks back sudden tears. "Thank you."
Padme pulls him into another kiss. Lighter, this time.
"You should probably go now." she says softly.
"Yeah," he says, swiping at his eyes with the palms of his hand. "Yeah, I will. Love you."
He hears her murmur it back as he turns to leave.
* * * * *
The Council Chamber is silent.
He'd waited for the end of the meeting to make his confession—a bit cowardly, he knows, but he's already rocked the boat enough as is. The meeting itself had been shorter than usual, with an air of relief permeating the room. They'd watched the broadcast from one of Master Ti's holos, once, twice, before Master Windu confirmed what they already knew—yes, it was completely genuine. Then, plans to demilitarise. Then—
He'd spoken up.
Now there's silence.
His comm beeps. He startles then determinedly ignores it, waiting for a reaction.
"To be completely honest," Obi-wan speaks first. "I can't exactly say I'm surprised." He looks around, making eye contact with the others. "Well, surely I can't be the only one."
To Anakin's surprise, there are a few light giggles. Master Ti is even smiling.
"Subtle, you have not been." Yoda agrees. "Subtle the Senator has not been, either."
"Like a pair of star speckled Alderaanian love wrens," Shaak Ti agrees.
He gapes.
To be fair, it was probably easy enough to guess that he'd harbored feelings for Padme—and maybe even that she felt the same for him. But for force's sake, they'd expected the marriage too? The children?
That's a bit. . . much. 
His comm beeps again.
"Should you wish to leave the Jedi Order," Mace says, looking as amused as the rest of them, "that is, of course, your decision. But—" He looks around and seems to find the agreement he's looking for. "I believe this discussion can be tabled for now. The war is over, after all. You have fulfilled the prophecy."
 Okay, this is definitely not what he was expecting. What had happened to "You will be expelled from the Jedi Order, Anakin,"? "Attachments are forbidden,"?
He's relieved. Incredibly relieved. But also. . . 
Unsatisfied.
And he remembers—he hasn't fulfilled the prophecy, actually. There's a Sith—a dark side user—in the Senate, leading the Senate, and he's just let him be. He hasn't even told the Council. And sure, nothing bad seems to have come of it—it's Chancellor Palpatine for force's sake, the man could hardly hurt a fly—but still.
He closes his eyes and tries to find some equilibrium.
But—
Something in the force is recoiling, echoing, empty and vacant and cold.
He frowns.
"Master Windu, are you. . . feeling alright?"
Master Windu glances up in confusion. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"The force feels. . . strange. Around you." He struggles to find more words to explain it and finds that he can't. It's just. . . an ache. A devastating ache. With a strange twist to it.
Master Windu frowns at him. "I don't feel it." He pauses. "Are you absolutely certain this. . . feeling of yours is centered around me?"
He closes his eyes. No, he realizes, it's not just Mace. This strange thread of—of wrongness echoes throughout the Chamber, curling around various Council members with an icy chill.
Reaching for the babies' force presence had also been strange, Anakin remembers, trying and failing to squash his panic. They'd felt—so far away. Or maybe it was he himself that felt removed. This is the second time that reaching for the force has felt off—what's happening to him? What the hell is going on?
His comm beeps yet again.
"Answer that, you may, young Skywalker." Master Yoda says from his seat. A few others hum in affirmation.
He switches it on.
"Anakin," comes Padme's panicked voice, strange and staticky through the receiver.
"Anakin, I think the babies are coming."
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keanureevesisbae · 4 years
Text
Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat - Chapter 1
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Summary: Veterinarian Olivia Tran has zero time for bullshit. After becoming a mom at age twenty three, the one thing she wants is a good life for her daughter Vanessa. Her ex didn’t want anything to do with her nor the baby and she decided that man are officially banned out of her life. But then she meets Henry Cavill at her clinic and her ban slowly starts to crumble apart. Henry on the other hand is looking for one thing: a family. And when he meets Olivia Tran, he finds just that.
Henry Cavill x Olivia Tran (ofc)
Warnings: None
Wordcount: 2.4k
A/N: The beginnings of a new fic! It’s kind of a build up, so there isn’t a lot of Henry Cavill inthis chapter, but the next one is from his pov and more than 4.5k. I hope you like this new story 🤗
Masterlist // Next chapter
For fuck’s sake, I can still smell the fluids from those anal glands I have been popping all day. Even when you wear gloves every single time, that penetrating smell will just stay with you.
After a long day at the clinic, I can finally call it a day. Of course, I’m on call tonight, but other than that, I can relax now. Working as a vet has always been a dream of mine and now, at the ripe age of twenty nine, I have managed to become doctor Olivia Tran, one of the loved veterinarians here.
‘See you tomorrow, Belle,’ I yell to my best friend and other veterinarian at this clinic.
‘You on call tonight?’ Belle asks.
‘I am.’
‘If you need to go, I can’t watch Vanessa tonight,’ she tells me, while she is checking the ears of a pug, who seems to have severe breathing problems from the looks of it. ‘I have a date.’
‘No worries,’ I say to her with a smile. ‘I probably don’t need to go anyways. Hasn’t happened in the past months, so I highly doubt that something will change tonight. Please let me know how your date went tomorrow.’
Belle, the gorgeous brunette with legs for days and blue eyes as big as Rapunzel, flashes me a bright smile. ‘Of course, dear. Give Vanessa a big kiss for me, will you?’
‘Will do.’ I walk out of the clinic, give a sweet Jack Russell a scratch behind his ear and check my watch. I have twenty minutes before I have to pick up Vanessa, but it’s a fifteen minute walk if I hurry and if I just stroll around, it’s twenty minutes. Can I manage to buy myself some cookies or should I wait after I picked her up?
I think I would have a very happy six year old if I waited with the cookies after I picked her up from school.
I bury my hands in the pockets of my coat. Yesterday it was official: the summer has passed and autumn is here. I always love it when I see the green leaves slowly turning orange or brown and cover the pavement with a blanket of crunchy leaves. It’s Vanessa’s favorite season as well, but that’s mostly because it’s her birthday on November 12th.
I never planned on becoming a mother at twenty three. I never really gave it a big thought, the idea of having kids. In the far far far future I might’ve become one, but I always thought I had more cool aunt potential.
The day I found out I was pregnant, I was scared, but since I was in a pretty serious relationship with Wesley for almost three years, the man I thought I’d end up marrying, I figured we would make this work. We would marry, have this kid and live happily ever after, maybe even have a few more.
But Wesley broke up with me when I told him about the pregnancy and that I was going to keep the baby. I went to my parents for comfort, thinking that they and my two brothers would be supportive of this. We got through the time that I was partying all night, getting tattoos and smoked some weed out of my window. I mean, we would be able to handle this right?
But my parents kicked me out when I told them I was pregnant and I was going to keep the baby. ‘But what about your degree?’ I can still hear my mother say those words, but what was maybe the worst thing, was seeing my brothers turning their backs to me. Their literal backs towards me. ‘You worked so hard and you just got a job as a vet,’ my mom began to yell.
To be fair, I was their only hope. My brothers dropped out of high school and are now sort of working in construction, but they can hardly finish a job ever. My mother never worked  a day in her life and my father was a lawyer. I told them that I could work something out, with a bit of help of them, but my mother just pushed me out of their house and told me to never bother them again, if I was going to have a kid out of wedlock.
So I had to do it by myself. I had to find a place for me and the baby to stay, but thankfully Belle was already working at the vet and decided that I needed a bit of help. I could stay with her, even after the baby was born. Belle went with me to the ultrasounds and when I went into labor, she was right there with me.
Belle is Vanessa’s one and only aunt and my best friend. When you get pregnant and not only your boyfriend leaves, your family disappears out of your life, you also notice how many people despise you. My friends from college all of the sudden seemed to have fallen off the earth and never checked in with me.
Now I have a happy six year old, a nice home for the two of us and a baby sitter Belle, who is becoming less and less available, since she has discovered the world of Tinder, because she wants a boyfriend.
I hear the bell ring when I step onto the schoolyard. It doesn’t take long before I see my daughter running towards me. Her baby blue coat is hanging open, her backpack in her hand and a rolled paper in the other. She insisted on wearing her boots to school today, but leave it to her to cover them in mud.
Entirely.
I catch her when she jumps in my arms. ‘I missed you, my lovely lady,’ I say to her.
Vanessa peppers my face with kisses, something she always does when I pick her up from school. I brush the hairs out of her face, including the sweet bangs that she insisted on having. Originally she wanted the same haircut as me from when I was the same age as her, but since I have severe traumas of the bowl cut, I had to spare her that and opt for some sweet thin bangs.
‘Mommy,’ she says, ‘I missed you a lot.’
‘Well, you want to go to the store, so we can buy some cookies?’ I ask her. ‘And maybe tonight we can order a pizza.’
‘Yes, yes, yes!’ She gives me a tight hug.
Sometimes I doubt my parenting skills, especially when I look around the schoolyard. I watch those mothers who are housewives, with very handsome husbands and kids that always look formidable and put together and probably only eat fatty snacks on their birthdays. Sometimes I wished I had that: a husband, a man that Vanessa could look up to.
I figured that when my ex Wesley couldn’t provide that, my brothers and father would step in and treat my daughter like they treated me: a princess.
Now I have to do that myself.
It can be tiring, being both the mother and the father for Vanessa, but if I could turn back time, I’d do it all over again.
With Vanessa’s tiny hand in mine, we walk towards the store, to buy some cookies that I desperately craved the entire day I was at work.
Vanessa looks a lot like me. She’s basically my clone. People often stop us, simply to tell us that Vanessa is like a miniature version of me. I always like compliments about my daughter. I mean, she is my world.
When we arrive at home, I help her change into something more comfy. ‘Mommy, can we please have a pajama night?’ Vanessa asks, while I help her out of her dress.
‘It’s four in the afternoon,’ I say, knowing exactly what she wants. ‘You want to wait two hours before you wear your pajamas?’
Vanessa shakes her head. ‘No, I want to wear my pjs now.’ Her bright smile nearly lights up the room. I watch her nose scrunch up as the corners of her mouth curl up, the only trait that she inherited from her biological father. ‘Are you going to wear yours too?’
I don’t have anywhere to go and besides, after all popping all those anal glands today, I desperately want to get out of these clothes. ‘Yes, sweetie, I’m going to wear mine too, but first I’m going to take a shower.’
‘No bath, mommy? Because I like baths.’ Her dark brown eyes start to gleam with enthusiasm. ‘Please, mommy, please.’ She pouts, knowing damn well I can’t say no to that.
≫≫≪≪
The second Vanessa is in bed, I have some time for myself. I love every second we get to spend together, but it’s nice to have a breather every now and then. I stare at my arms, to see how Vanessa has colored in my tattoos. She’s obsessed with them and when she’s in school, she sometimes tries to draw them on her own arms by memory, sometimes even drawing on others when they want to. A few weeks ago, her teacher asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. ‘Well, I want to be two things,’ Vanessa told her. ‘Like my mommy I want to be a vet, because I love animals, but I also want to draw tattoos on people.’
I sit up straight, looking at the drawing she made me today in school. She always makes drawings for me, but they are always the same. She draws a house, with me in it and herself. And outside she draws a dog and a man, with suitcases and moving boxes next to them. ‘Because,’ she explains every single time, ‘one day you meet a nice man who has a dog and he can become my new daddy. A daddy that does want me.’
Belle didn’t agree on me telling Vanessa her real dad didn’t want her, but I figured she needed to know the truth. Her biological father is a low life that disappeared into thin air and didn’t want to be involved in her life.
Vanessa understood, to the extent that was possible, but she really wants a dad, preferably one with a dog. Though she keeps pushing me, I can’t start dating again. Vanessa is the most important person in the world and men simply don’t fit into this—in my head—perfect picture. Vanessa is my life and men are big fat losers, so I don’t need them. I don’t want them, because the chance of them getting tired of maybe me, maybe Vanessa and leaving, is something I can’t risk.
Vanessa already lost her real father, what if a man that becomes really important to her, leaves too?
At around eleven I drag myself to bed, placing my work phone beside me. I hate being on call, but like I told Belle, I didn’t have a call in months, so I think I’m good.
I’m dreaming about Keanu Reeves (the only man on earth that I’d break my no man ban for) and how he takes me out on a lovely date, has Vanessa on his lap and helps her to cut her food, when the phone starts to ring.
‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ I mutter, before I click on my nightlight. It’s three in the fucking morning. I don’t want this. ‘Animal Clinic Westside, doctor Olivia Tran, how may I help you?’ I say when I pick up the phone.
‘Hello, I’m terribly sorry for calling at this hour, but my dog is vomiting and I see some blood in it.’ Oh, poor man, he sounds so panicked. ‘He collapsed and is breathing really heavily and I don’t know what to do.’
I sit up straight in bed and rub my eyes, as I try to be as alert as I can on this early morning. ‘Sir, it’s okay. Did your dog eat anything out of the ordinary today?’
‘Not that I know of.’
‘You think it’s possible for you to come to the clinic? I’d like to see the dog.’
‘Of course, of course.’ The man on the other side of the line has such a lovely and deep voice. He could become a voice actor or a narrator like Morgan Freeman. If liquid gold had a voice, it would sound like this.
‘I hope it’s not too much to ask, but could you take some of the vomit with you? Especially the part with some blood. I’d like to check it.’
‘I’ll bring it with me, of course.’
‘What kind of breed is your dog, sir?’ I ask, while writing it all down on a piece of paper.
‘An American Akita. His name is Kal.’
I don’t think he ever went to our clinic, I think to myself.
‘I’ll be at the clinic in about forty minutes, mister…’ I say, hoping that this man will say his name.
‘Cavill,’ he quickly says. ‘And I can be at the clinic in about an hour.’
That name does sound kind of familiar though, but I could’ve sworn that this man isn’t in our database. Maybe I went to college with him or to high school?
After we hang up the phone, I quickly get out of bed. I opt for a pair of tight fitted black leggings and an oversized sweater (after I put on a bra, because who knows mister Cavill is handsome and my nipples don’t want to keep that a secret) and I slip on some white sneakers. I put my hair into a bun. I freeze when I’m moisturizing my face.
I kind of forgot I had a daughter. I don’t like the idea of bringing Vanessa with me, especially since it’s three in the morning and she’s asleep, but then I realize that tomorrow it’s Saturday. Plenty of time for her to catch up on her sleep and plenty of time for me to feel less guilty about dragging her out of her dreams.
‘Sweetie,’ I whisper, when I gently wake her up. ‘Mommy has to go to the clinic, but you can’t stay at aunt Belle tonight, so you’re going with me to work.’
Vanessa was a groggy mess when I nudged her awake, but when she realizes she can go with me to work, her eyes light up. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, someone has a sick doggy, that needs to be taken care of.’
She gets up out of her bed and I help her with her socks, though she is perfectly capable of doing so herself. ‘You’re gonna save a doggy?’ Vanessa asks.
‘I’m going to try.’
I hand her a thick vest and while she puts it on, she says: ‘You’re a hero, mommy.’
With a smile on my face, I softly pinch her cheek. ‘I guess I am.’
Taglist: @thelastsock​ // @flhorah​ // @sausagefest1996​ // @laufeysodinson​ // @xxxkatxo​ // @memoriesat30​ // @henrythickcavill​ // @crimsonrae​ // @henryobsessed // @madbaddic7ed​ // @summersong69​
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Did Yuri and Shiro really die?
Where do dead mortals go in Blue Exorcist?
Does Mephisto have the power to reanimate not only the dead but spirits as well?
(I’m apologizing in advance for all the bold lettering, but I need new glasses and I can’t get them yet, so I’m blind as a mole.)
Here’s what we’ve seen so far in the Manga.
Demons go to Gehenna and stay there. Human souls stay there in temporary purgatory and then those spirits head someplace else. 
I have some questions that i’m not sure about. If you have ideas feel free to add them this post. 
Are Yuri Egin and Shiro Fujimoto actually human?
Once a human is possessed by a demon, how much of the human remains? How much of humanity did Shiro have after the section 13 experiments? Is Yuri really human at all? 
First, let’s talk about Yuri.
Her father is unknown, her grandparents committed suicide and her mother died from mysterious circumstances. Hmmmm...wow that’s weird. Sounds like demon interference doesn’t it?
Yuri had a note pinned into her backpack when she arrived at Asylum, it appears that her mother couldn’t move before she died. That gives us a clue. It points to Demon King heritage, or perhaps, the Sol. 
We need to look at who didn’t have a vessel in Assiah and crystalized. We have three options; Azazel, Shiemihaza and Armumahel. We know absolutely nothing about Armumahel. So, for variety sake and the plot. I’m saying Yuri is somehow related to the Emperor of Nothingness. It makes sense, Armumahel’s powers can null a demon and hollow out a human’s soul. Hence the sad fate of her grandparents. It would also explain what happened to Yuri’s mother.  So, maybe Yuri isn’t a hanyou, but half Sol? It could have been an attributing factor as to why she was able to have a relationship with Satan and bear his children. Also, why Yukio didn’t inherit Satan’s flames and instead is immune to black, red and blue flames. He takes after his mother.
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After Yuri died, she existed in Gehenna temporarily.  Just long enough to talk to Satan. Then she dematerialized. Did Satan destroy her? Or did Yuri manifest once again in Assiah? Was a new vessel already waiting for her? Was she reincarnated?  It remains to be seen. 
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I get a weird idea that it has something to do with baby Shiemi because she was born right around the time Yuri died. Also Shiemi reminds Rin of his mom, has a greenman familiar and caught the eye of Satan. Soooo....yeah i’m kinda feeling uncomfortable about the entire Rin/Shiemi ship, Rin/Yukio ship.  
(Okay I just added this extra part)
That’s why throughout the manga Rin and Yukio have strong feelings for Shiemi. She loves them very much, but not in a romantic way. That’s why she’s so confused when Rin mentions romance. If you go back and analyze everything, she’s like a mom/sister. I realize I will be slagged for this opinion....buuut I just gotta a feeling. Imagine what would happen if Shiemi wasn’t there? Rin and Yukio would be lost, she guides them and helps them develop emotionally.
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I also wonder about the Demon Kings and the Sol. If Mephisto and Shiemihaza planned out the blue night to get rid of Lucifer. Maybe they planned out Yuri’s death much more than we realized. Granny Shemihaza made sure that Yuri died, she forced a post-partum period which probably caused Yuri to slowly bleed to death.
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Shiemihaza is the Goddess of Creation; life and death cycles, Mephisto is the Time King and kin of death. Azazel is the god that controls spirit. These three divine beings have the power to bring a person back from the dead, in theory. 
DID THEY BRING YURI BACK?
 The question is, was Azazel dead at the time of Asylum and Section 13? I’m not sure. By the sounds of Lightning’s stories Azazel could still talk while he slowly crystalized. He conversed with young Lightning. Maybe this was the same time period?
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 But even if Azazel was in Gehenna, that wouldn’t stop Mephisto from chatting with him.
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Did these demons save Yuri and bring her back into Assiah? I don’t know. But if they wanted to, they totally could. 
SHIRO AND THE TWO PERFECT CLONES
WILL SHIRO RETURN?
Again, it’s possible. If demons can save a soul and lock it away for safe-keeping they can surely bring back a human. But is there a vessel for Shiro?
Actually yes. There’s two of them.
The first vessel is obvious. It’s the Azazel clone created by Drac that we seen in the last chapter. Satan will no doubt try to possess that one, he’s seen it out of Yukio’s eyes. This vessel seems pretty fresh, it was recently taken from its tube and brought to life. It probably has very little in the way of soul development. That’s the way the clone was designed. To makes possession easier. 
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The issue with Drac’s work, the science was incomplete. He only had his notes to go from and not Neuhaus’s research. Mephisto hid all of that. So i think this clone is substandard. That’s why Drac and Lucifer were changing heads all the time. The clone bodies they have are of lower quality. I gotta feeling this clone is going to fail.
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But remember, during the blue night there was another clone. The perfect clone that Neuhaus stole which was no doubt hidden in Mephisto’s other timeline in his secret lab. That clone was ready 15 years ago, the night the twins were born. It was said to be perfect.
 What happened to it?
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When Shiro died, was he rehomed by Mephisto to another body? When Mephisto presents his perfect clone to Satan will it contain a Shiro surprise? Shiro’s soul was one of the few things strong enough to repel Satan and send him back to Gehenna. It would make perfect sense, wouldn’t it?
Honestly, it would be the perfect fuck you to Satan. To have Shiro beat him again and Mephisto brutally outplay him.
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vaguely-concerned · 3 years
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The Mandalorian Chapter 15 reactions; *nobby nobbs voice* ‘s all gone a bit percychological, sir
 - so from both chapter 6 and now this: rick famuyiwa is incredible at portraying prolonged discomfort and tension (and also at getting din’s endless love for that baby across through the stress of being separated from him. this is the very first episode with no baby in it at all, isn’t it? wow that’s a heartbreaking milestone to reach im crying)
I liked this episode SO MUCH but I had to pause it pretty often and take a breather because it all made me so viscerally uncomfortable on din’s behalf -- not just the armour and having to take the helmet off and be seen for the (almost, ilu IG-11) first time in decades, people keep touching him in this episode when he clearly doesn’t want them to but can’t stop it and it makes me want to claw my own skin off in sympathy, it’s so awful. that’s really neat film making to manage to keep that tension steady almost all the way through!!! 
honestly this episode felt a little bit like psychological horror, with the cheering storm troopers and din in the wrong armour and clearly not digging it and there’s the palpable absence of baby and that ever present dread of being Perceived when you’re not ready for it; everything’s turned upside down from how it should be. and it’s playing with that discomfort both in the main character and in us, the audience, in having the familiar be made unfamiliar and also introducing these questions that shake up everything (that feeling you get of ‘but... if it’s not the helmet, and not the armour, but there’s his face, but we’ve only seen that face once before so it’s still basically new to us, is this... is this still him. is this still Dad’ (oooh I wonder if we’re... sort of getting some of the ??? the baby would be feeling about it too?) we’ve all imprinted on that t-shaped visor like little baby birds, and this was a very clever episode to break us out of that and start to really get used to the thought of him having several faces that are real simultaneously, in a way, and not just a voice. it’s all very smart and interesting and I’m sure I’ll have a lot of incoherent thoughts about this in the weeks to come lol)    
- the actual reason din can’t take off the helmet is that if people were able to see his wide confused puppy eyes they would no longer find it in themselves to send him on long arduous side missions and would help him immediately just so he’d feel better, and that would rob us of like 80% of the content for this show 
mayfeld in this episode: clearly a casualty of this. he literally sees one glimpse of the vulnerability there and then within five seconds goes on to materialize a few redeeming character traits after being a complete jackass for an episode and a half. (I mean. he was 100% still an imperial so I’m a bit ‘hm.’ about how easily especially cara let him off the hook, but with the way it was set up I guess it would have been quite shitty of them to just throw him back in prison so I mean I GUESS. I would be endlessly grateful someone got my awkward bff out of there alive and well too I suppose)
- I actually think din’s sense/integrity of self has gotten so much stronger and more resilient (though probably still quite fragile pls handle with care precious cargo within); if this had happened in the first season I think it might honestly just have killed him (and if it weren’t for IG-11 it probably would have lol)
- can you beLIEVE din is so bad at lying that they literally should plan for contingencies over it fjkasdlhfskajdhfsdj     
- very grateful for the scene with the spear throw that’s basically there to reassure us ‘uh-huh, he absolutely knows how to use it, don’t worry about that part at least’
I want to make a whole post about that fight scene, though, it’s just so GOOD! there’s so much storytelling and characterization in it! even out of the armour din has some real hand to hand MOVES!! he clearly came out of that aching all over, he can barely get back in his seat!!!
- so what I’m mainly taking away from this is that din absolutely cuts his own hair and you know what? he does a good job considering the conditions he has to work under, I love him  
I still find it so goddamn darling that he meticulously maintains that little mustache/stubble combo under there even when there’s every reason to believe no one will ever see it 
I suppose we can also gather that he did not ask cobb about whatever insane feat of magic he’s come up with to avoid helmet hair, but I don’t care looking a bit frazzled and tousled is exactly right for him (he’s so put together when he’s in the armour and a MESS when he’s out of it and I  l o v e  it) 
- boba fett is honestly so fucking hot in this I don’t know what to do with myself haha. he’s so CALM and CALCULATED and COLLECTED in his newly painted armour and he’s GOT THIS and he made that ‘I’ve got one of those faces. one of jango’s many, many, many faces’ joke and he’s so thicc now, he looks like he could easily lift me over his head with one hand and he’s just quietly steady and undramatically supportive and sdalfhsdjhfsa 
- ...din does know who the clone troopers were, right. I mean of course he does. he has to. but does he though. I’m sure he does and just wasn’t thinking. 
- no matter how stressful it was I’m still really grateful that in the end taking the helmet off was something din got to do himself -- it’s under some duress, but it’s still his choice and for the sake of the baby, and almost in two more manageable steps between putting on the storm trooper gear for a different helmet before taking it off altogether. it’s not something done to him by gideon, for example, that would be. so much yuckier and worse. he still has that control and agency intact, even if it’s been tested really hard, and now gideon doing that doesn’t hold the exact same nightmarish power anymore because there’s already a little space opened in din’s mind for different things it can mean, if you see what I mean. I’m not sure I see what I mean actually I just have a lot of feelings haha. so I guess thank you mayfeld for being decent about it and helping him towards that realization that he can still be himself outside these really really inflexible structures he’s set up around himself for like. stability and keeping himself upright for a really long time, and that even someone halfway decent won’t disrespect the boundaries he still has about it at any given moment. man there’s a lot in this episode isn’t there
- the sigh din gave when he saw even more pirates coming and knew he had to get back up... never has a single moment in cinema better captured how I feel about being alive. most relatable man in the world din djarin
- it was really cruel of them to make me listen to din’s dead bleak voice say ‘the child is gone’ again, it wrecks my heart every goddamn time 
- again... I wish carano wasn’t Like That in real life because the cara & fennec scenes should have been everything I could ever dream. ah well fennec was still wonderful and if I just allow myself to think in-universe for a few seconds it was really touching that din would entrust cara with his entire armour, that’s some prime BrOTP energy right there
I love that we got two female characters who were just allies and working together, no competition or nothin’. listen the bar is low but it’s nice to see something actually leap gracefully over it as well lol
- this was one of those with some pretty big open plot holes (why, exactly, would a scan of a completely unknown face be helpful to get into this classified system lol), but a) I don’t care, the emotional storyline was so sound it doesn’t really matter and b) eh handwave handwave let’s say mayfeld programmed that little stick with the good shit and overrode the code saying there needed to be an identity match within the system, it’s all fine 
- I know I joke a lot about this but din really is one of the most relatable characters I’ve ever had. just watching him struggle with eye contact and going pretty much nonverbal under enough stress is like. wow a bit close to home there could we, perhaps, nOT?? (honestly though these are trauma/anxiety things I really don’t see portrayed a lot, especially in protagonists, it’s so odd but healing to see it in a character I love and who’s EXTREMELY competent in many other settings)
- din repeating gideon’s speech back to him word for word (except for the crucial detail that he calls grogu ‘him’ instead of ‘it’ 😭😭😭) and saying nothing else is truly Everything. I’ve said some stuff about din’s deliberate and thoughtful relationship to language in the past and this is such an amazing example of it; he’s remembered that pitch perfect all this time, he’s kept it around in his head and mulled it over and then redeployed it to change the meaning of it completely from dehumanization to love. can you. can you even imagine. and it’s yet another example of his hilarious wonderful petty streak and I can never get enough of it fasjhdfkjalhs    
- din always noticing the children first and foremost Y_______Y (the kids running by is the only thing you see him sort of acknowledge when he’s walking into the covert in season 1 too)  
- please... please I just need him to be able to hold that baby against his chest all safe and sound and okay again I can’t it’s........ hh
NO SEASON END CLIFF HANGER ON THIS I AM  B E G G I N G  YOU 
- I would be having some thoughts about how much space there actually is on slave 1 and what that might mean (do not kill boba again please don’t kill him again), but honestly there’s only ‘GET BABY’ hours in here now, I can’t speculate about anything
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"#me with the way the fandom has decided to characterize fives tup hardcase dogma and sometimes fox" If you have a big rant for this I'd LOVE to hear it!
Oh boy. I don’t think I’ve got enough energy for a full blown rant, so I’m just gonna share a couple of thoughts.
It’s mostly just me being frustrated at fandom for the tendency of taking characters and forcing them into some pre-made character types even though they don’t really fit, which don’t get me wrong, it’s a thing a lot of fandoms do, but I’ve seen it a lot more in the SW fandom.
Speaking of the fandom, people seem to be so enamored with the stupid character type and the baby character type that everyone in SW is dumb and/or baby, even people like Obi-Wan Kenobi gets treated like an infant that doesn’t know how to take care of himself, so other characters have to step in and take care of the poor baby.
But let’s get to the clones.
 Let’s start with Fives. Nowhere it is stated that he’s the dumb mischief-maker the fandom makes him to be. Sure he can be brash sometimes and he jokes around from time to time, but that’s not a synonym for dumb, or lazy, another thing I’ve seen people paint him as.
I guess the chaos-maker part comes from the fact that he’s been seen disobeying orders, but guess what, he doesn’t do it all the time, and when he does it’s because he thinks they’re wrong, and both of the times it happens he’s proven right, so it’s not like he does it just for the sake of being a shit.
Also I still have no idea where people got the idea that he’s dumb, considering that he’s the first one who discovers about the chips. I don’t know, maybe we’ve watched two different shows that are both called The Clone Wars.
 Then there’s Tup, poor Tup whose character gets so twisted that he might as well be considered an OC at this point.
There are already plenty of posts about him, so I encourage you to go read those, but this idea that he’s the baby of the bunch really comes out of nowhere.
I can barely excuse the “baby” characterization for clones like Wooley or Comet, but that’s just because we’ve got so little for them going on in terms of canon characterization that sure, whatever, but even then I feel like people tend to forget that these are soldiers bred for war, so I doubt that any of these characters should actually be considered baby.
Also again, it feels like me and the rest of the fandom have watched two different shows. Sure, at the beginning of the Umbara arc he seems nervous, but he’s not a scaredy cat that needs his older brothers’ support in order to function, he’s not a crybaby, he’s not a baby full stop. Hell, the face he makes once they all decide that they’re going against Krell screams murder from every pore, that’s such a baby thing to do, right?
And let’s not forget that he’s the one who manages to k.o. Krell, so he’s resourceful, another thing people forget about him a lot.
 For Hardcase I’ve seen other posts going around as well.
The problem is that a lot of people infantilize him, and given that he’s neurodivergent coded that’s not a very pretty thing to do. Sure he’s loud most of the times, but he’s competent, he’s still a good soldier.
Also some people have noticed how quiet he immediately gets if someone makes fun of him and how insecure he seems during those moments, indicating that the “chaos explosions man” is probably more of a persona than his actual character, or that at least he exaggerates those parts of him in front of the others, and I wish more people would take that into consideration when talking about him.
 For Dogma I’ve already made a long rant, so I’m just going to link it here cause I don’t want to repeat myself. It begins as a talk about ships, but it’s strictly tied to how the fandom treats Dogma in general, so I guess it counts.
 Regarding Fox I’m just a bit annoyed that people either treat him as a devil or a saint, martyr even sometimes, though it’s more of a minor annoyance since we know practically nothing about Fox, something that I’ll always be sad about by the way.
It’s just that I’m generally annoyed when people woobiefy characters, and this one is not exception.
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recentanimenews · 3 years
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SPOILER-FILLED REVIEW: Talking About That Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Ending
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  A note on safety: The following movie review undertook the strictest of safety procedures to watch the anime film in cinemas in Japan, including washing hands with disinfectant before and after, sitting in seats apart from others, going to a cinema outside of the busy metro area, and wearing a mask during the entire runtime of the movie. We strongly urge everyone to follow the recommended safety protocol in your country and always wear a mask when in public — not just for your sake, but everyone else’s as well.
  For those who are outside of Japan and want to know how the latest (and final) Evangelion film stacks up, we have already published our completely spoiler-free review. For those that want to know more, please read on.
    After the airing of the NHK documentary which followed Hideaki Anno and the four-year production of Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time, the unofficial “spoiler ban” was lifted by Studio Khara on March 22. This means, as much as Khara is concerned, we are free to discuss anything and everything Evangelion: 3.0+1.0, like how [omitted for spoilers] kills [spoilers] and LCL [spoilers]. 
  Seriously though, if you don’t want to read any spoilers for Evangelion: 3.0+1.0, then leave. Immediately. Close the tab, don’t scroll down.
  This is a warning.
  I’m not kidding.
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    I’m putting an image here as a buffer. It's sweet right?
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    If you scroll past the next image you will be spoiled for everything in the film. This is your last warning.
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  "Asuka" as a kid
  Welcome to Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time where I may have lied in my previous review, cause things go tumbling down — but in a good way. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t recall the exact right terminology here on out: between the Doors of Guf, the hundreds of Evangelion models and ships we see, and that ending, it’s hard to keep it all in one head. That’s why this film has four directors. 
  If you’re already here, you’ve probably read the synopsis going around the internet right now. Yes, it explains what happens on screen, but experiencing it is a different story. Evangelion 3.0+1.0 takes a lot of cues from The End of Evangelion in its final act, but prior to that it is mostly a story of growth for Shinji, where he rejects being depressed (after a heart to heart with black-suit Rei, who then turns into LCL), learns that things aren’t 100% his fault. Shinji goes on to tackle his source of depression head-on; owning up to his past mistakes and taking down his father, who is now literally just a vessel of his own desires.
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  Unholy Gendo
  Something truly missing from Evangelion 3.0, and one of the reasons I loved Evangelion 2.22, was just the gang hanging out together and interacting with the — very scarred — world around them. That scar has vastly grown throughout the 14 years Shinji was missing from the actual 3rd impact (the one at the end of 2.22 was a “near-impact event”) which saw the world covered in the red haze we saw in 3.0. Luckily, WILLE has purification pods that keep the core-ification of the world at bay. We saw that being used in the 12-minute preview, but throughout the film, they’re used extensively to keep the Evangelion wandering the landscapes on the red earth away from the villages that are helping the WILLE cause. They need to get food from somewhere.
  This is where we spend a lot of time learning how the characters from Shinji’s class all survived, got paired off, and that Asuka is staying (and is probably in love) with Kensuke. She confesses to Shinji that she loved him when they were kids, but 28-year-old Asuka can’t keep loving someone who hasn’t changed in 14 years. Shinji does accept the confession, saying to her that he loved her too, and she turns into LCL — though that’s in the Anti-Universe and after Asuka meets the “original” Asuka (I’ll get into that). As I said, it’s The End of Evangelion 2.0.
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  Rei discovering herself in the village
  One of the nicest parts of the film is black-suit Rei discovering human emotion and society in the village. Being a clone that likely spent all of her time locked in her room (and without the love of the now inhuman Gendo, which original Rei got), it was unlikely that she learned anything that makes humans human. The concept of “hello” and babies from Toji and Hikari confuses her as she finds a place herself in this village. Admittedly, it was sad to see her go and turn into LCL (from a lack of LCL exposure), but serving as the catalyst for Shinji to get over himself and face his demons was worth it … I guess?
  After this, Shinji grows up. Even Mari on a re-introductory sniff claims as much. During his time in the village, he discovers how the settlement stays afloat and that the 14-year-old son of Misato and Kaji (the latter perished in the real 3rd impact) helps keep the village alive. A picture of Shinji and Kaji Jr. helps warm Misato’s chilled heart and gives her the confidence to let Shinji pilot Unit 01 again, much to the disdain of multiple members of the WILLE crew.
  All of this is nice. Unlike the despair and hopelessness felt in 3.0, the entire first three parts of the film are uplifting and bring moments of joy. Seeing black-suit Rei smile as she came to terms with herself was just utterly beautiful.
  Then Shinji decides to get in the robot. 
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    This is where I’m going to get into the Hideaki Anno talk, because this film, as well as the rest of the anime versions of the Evangelion franchise up to this point, is basically just a self-examination of the man’s mental state. In the spoiler-free review, I called Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 the antithesis of Evangelion: 3.0. And that’s true, but it is also an antithesis to The End of Evangelion: A rejection of the depression Anno felt while creating the 20-plus-year-old film. There’s no doubt in my mind that the journey of Shinji through these Rebuild films is the journey of Anno creating Evangelion, with 3.0 being the lowest point.
  But this isn’t just felt in the story of 3.0+1.0, it’s also felt in the way it was presented. The entire final act of the film is basically a happier version of the “tumbling down” scene from The End of Evangelion, just with some more interesting aspects to it along with some inventive filmmaking — including making Lillith’s face live-action. That was haunting.
    This includes the above scene, which got a lot of flak on social media for being very poorly animated when it appeared in a trailer. Even I was confused over the inclusion of such poor animation in what is one of the most hyped anime films of all time. Funnily enough, it was Anno trolling. The scene comes from the ending, where the two Eva’s fight through the history of Evangelion, with this scene either representing a testing stage for CGI or one of the many Evangelion video games. The poor animation makes sense in the film … mostly.
  Over multiple film-like sets, the two Evangelions duke it out — one with Shinji, the other Gendo — over their ideals. This takes them to Misato’s apartment, the school, and even where Pen-Pen (or his offspring, I don’t know how long Penguins live) resides in 3.0+1.0. Before cutting to each of the different scenes, an Eva smashes through the set wall and onto a production stage. 
  I also said in the spoiler-free review that Anno “takes everything he knows about animation and filmmaking to deliver the perfect end to Evangelion,” and it shows when you see the (animated) production stage filled with props, miniature cities, and controls that you’d probably see on a production stage for a live-action Evangelion. Again though, this part is animated.
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    Mari at the End
  The surrealness doesn’t end here. When Shinji “wins” and chooses to reset the world without Evangelion, the animation breaks. Shinji devolves into key animation, then layouts, then into a storyboard, which is then broken by Mari bringing color back into Shinji’s world on that beach. No “how disgusting” here, only happiness.
  The film ends with an adult Mari and an adult Shinji at Ube Station. As the music of Hikaru Utada’s “One Last Kiss” swelled up through the speakers, the animated backgrounds slowly transitioned into a live-action drone shot of the area surrounding the hometown of Hideaki Anno. 
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  A poster for Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 showing Shinji on the tracks outside Ube Station, which I discussed when the poster was first released. 
  This is how I know Hideaki Anno is done with Evangelion. While yes, he has said he is done and feels no personal connection to the franchise anymore, the end of the film is a deeply personal one that clearly shows the anime creator cares about his creation and is now happy enough to see leave home and become its own thing — if anyone else chooses to pick it up.
  Shin Evangelion (the Japanese name for the film) is the true form of Evangelion that Anno set out to create over 25 years ago. While it wouldn’t have looked anything like it does now, the emotion poured into one of the longest animated films ever made makes that point as clear as the bright blue sea.
  Some other various interesting spoiler points:
  I’m not sure if character designer Yoshiyuki Sadamoto was lying about him not knowing Mari’s story and just making that one-shot chapter of the Evangelion manga on a whim or whether Anno took what Sadamoto wrote and expanded on it, cause Mari was right there in school with Gendo and Yui exactly as the chapter laid it out. Unless she’s also a clone...
There’s a really good shot of CG Asuka trying to force-feed Shinji, which was a direct evolution from this test footage back in 2018.
On the topic of Asuka, she had a small version of a purification pod in her eye that, when opened, unleashed an angel, and in turn let her meet her “original.” It’s not explained whether the original is Langley Soryu from the TV anime series or not.
Also, she’s a clone, like Rei and Kaworu as part of the “Shikinami” series. Interestingly, Mari Makinami also has “nami” in her name...
Ritsuko did nothing but shoot Gendo, mimicking the scene from The End of Evangelion. The shot was as useless as her character arc in the Rebuild films.
This film has to be set in at least the third continuity of Evangelion, as the TV series is directly referenced in the production stage and thrice does mean three...
Sakura is one of the most grounded characters in the film, with her asking the true question of “why the heck are you letting him in ANOTHER Evangelion?!” Let’s hope the live-action world she is now in is good to her.
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      Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is currently showing in theaters across Japan, there’s no word on an international release at this stage.
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        Daryl Harding is a Japan Correspondent for Crunchyroll News. He also runs a YouTube channel about Japan stuff called TheDoctorDazza, tweets at @DoctorDazza, and posts photos of his travels on Instagram. 
  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features.
By: Daryl Harding
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blouisparadise · 4 years
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Upon request, we’ve added to our friends to lovers rec list. You can find part one here and there will also be a part three (and possibly a part four!) up eventually, which will be linked here when it’s been posted. We hope you enjoy these fics! Happy reading.
1) Roses In The Rain | Mature | 5267 words
“Don’t- I know what you’re going to ask, and I… Harry, I can’t,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please. You know that I can’t.”
Louis had his six siblings and his old house with its falling-apart porch to take care of. This town was where people still approached him, 8 years after high school graduation, to tell him that they loved him as Danny in Grease. This town was where he had his pick of suitors, where he had his first kiss, where he took his first steps, where his mama lived, died, and was buried, and he couldn’t leave just to follow some man that he loved.
Harry, for now, seemed to understand that.
“Okay, baby,” Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.”
2) Candy In Your Mouth (I Know You Love Me) | Explicit | 6937 words
Things have shifted since last Christmas.
3) Glimpse Of The Silhouettes | Explicit | 7181 words
Harry isn't sure what the rules are for this. It's hard to believe that there are any, that's there's a handbook just waiting for him to buy: why is my best mate getting hard in my lap when I touch his arse?
4) Woke Up Feeling Knotty | Explicit | 7903 words
Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof.  When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them.  Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.
5) A Love Reaction | Explicit | 9968 words
It's never been a thing. Not until now.
6) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9699 words
Four months into One Direction's hiatus, Louis comes to stay with Harry after a bad breakup.
7) (You're Gonna See Me In A) New Light | Mature | 13631 words
A fake relationship AU where everyone knows it's real but Louis.
8) As A Memento From Me | Explicit | 15817 words
Five lives in which Harry and Louis didn’t end up together, and one in which they did.
9) I Put A Spell On You | Explicit | 17525
A BBC/Secret Santa mashup featuring Captain Niall, our intrepid weatherman/amateur matchmaker, rather clueless sports reporter Liam, charming political analyst Zayn, and cheeky entertainment reporter Louis. Harry is the new fashion correspondent who prefers to dress like a flamingo. And pining. There’s a lot of pining.
10) Oblivious | Explicit | 19095 words
Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird.
11) Break Open The Sky | Explicit | 20372 words
Werewolf AU. Harry might be a werewolf, but he still wants to experience Uni like everyone else. Turns out he learns a lot.
12) Runnin’ Like You Did | Explicit | 20061 words
The college AU where Louis knows how to hold a grudge and is definitely not in love with Harry Styles.
13) UN(RE)SOLVED. | Explicit | 20873 words
The ghoul boys are back, but this time around there are some unresolved feelings involved. Harry is a skeptic, Louis is not. Watch them go on their ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?
14) Hats Off To My Distant Hope | Explicit | 20990 words
Harry is in White Eskimo. Louis is in London.
15) The Way The Storms Blow | Explicit | 20649 words
Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.
That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.
Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.
Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.
16) Love Like Wildfire | Explicit | 21774 words
Louis was an Omega and a Prefect. Harry was an Alpha and a little rascal. They were mates, drawn to each other since they first met in the Hogwarts Express. They worked well like that, or at least they tried, which only made their relationship way more interesting.
17) Indestructible | Explicit | 24423 words
“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob.
“Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is.
“I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him.
Louis freezes.
18) A Whole New World | Not Rated | 24967 words
Louis has moved into his new apartment to start his new job as a teacher. Things would be great. If only his arsehole neighbour didn't wake him up every morning by playing piano.
19) Another Day Gettin’ Into Trouble | Explicit | 25619 words
Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.
In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?
Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.
Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.
20) Brooklyn Saw Me | Explicit | 28537 words
In the cold and unforgiving city of New York, Louis doesn't have a home and Harry wants to give him one. But as their heartstrings become increasingly intertwined, and the snow continues to fall, home is getting harder and harder to find.
21) Rivers ‘Til I Reach You | Explicit | 29315 words
AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).
22) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words
Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.
23) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words
"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."
Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.
But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.
Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.
Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.
24) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32354 words
The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.
25) The List | Mature | 32074 words
'In the weeks that follow, Harry opens his old journal more than he has in the past two years each time he remembers Venice or thinks about Louis. He always flips to the same random page in the middle of the book, marked by the picture of himself that Louis sent him a few days after they got home. There’s a message on the back that says, ‘Spontaneous looks good on you! See you soon,’ and it makes Harry’s chest warm each time he reads it. He wedges their list out from between the worn pages, and it feels silly staring down at a folded up piece of paper with a strange sense of nostalgia for experiences they’ve yet to have; for places they’ve never even been.'
26) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words
An A/B/O AU featuring an oblivious Harry as the pack leader, a pining Louis as his second-in-command, and an entourage of friends and family who are a little too good at keeping their mouths shut.
27) The Sun Will Rise With My Name On Your Lips | Explicit | 37927 words
When Eleanor breaks up with Louis he finds it hard to keep pretending that Harry isn’t what he’s wanted since the day he first met him.
28) Runner On Third | Explicit | 39643 words
Note: The sequel to this fic is not BL.
The AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don't pick up where they left off.
29) My Sweetest Downfall | Mature | 42048 words
Louis is a retired guardian angel. After the death of his last charge, he became jaded. Humans die—what use is prolonging the inevitable?
He's more than happy to forget about humanity altogether until one day, when Louis is pulled from his desk job for a new assignment: protect One Direction's Harry Styles. It doesn't help that there's something about Harry that Louis can't resist, and it's making him question everything he's ever known. Humans are strictly off limits, and breaking that rule means risking everything, but Harry just might be worth it.
This is a story about forgiveness and discovery, featuring an angel who wants to be a little more human and a human who is so much more than he seems.
30) For the Sake of Propriety | Mature | 52360 words
Louis Tomlinson is the caretaker of an estate that is not truly his, and when his Uncle calls upon him to take it back, Louis knows he will soon be out on the streets with four overly zealous sisters to care for.  His only solution: wed the eldest two off and pray for the best.  When an even better solution unexpectedly presents itself in the form of the charming Mr. Styles, Louis is faced with a difficult choice.  But as with all things in the regency era, reputation very well may threaten to outweigh the fleeting matters of his heart.
31) The Bachelor | Explicit | 53953 words
The one where Harry dates six other guys and still falls in love with Louis Tomlinson.
32) We’ve Got the World in Our Hands | Explicit | 54964 words
Note: This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.
A mutants/superpowers AU. Louis and his friends attend the Cowell Institute for General Education and Mutant Training in London; when Louis meets Harry, the newest student at the Cowell Institute, he immediately recruits Harry to help play matchmaker for his friend Zayn. Harry and Louis are so caught up in meddling in Zayn's love life, though, that they don't notice that their own friendship is progressing into something more. Meanwhile, an ominous threat up north grows slowly until suddenly, no mutant - or human - is safe.
33) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 49873 words
Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.
34) Since I’ve Found You | Mature | 74005 words
Louis woke up on the morning he was meant to volunteer at the Feed the Homeless program at St. Mary's church hoping for an opportunity to give back a little to a city that has given him everything he could ever want. Little did he know, there was one more great thing waiting there for him; a boy with radiant green eyes in a weathered jacket and a beat-up backpack slung over his shoulders.
35) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124766 words
Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.
“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”
“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”
“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.
“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”
“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.
“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”
“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”
36) Falling Into You | Mature | 143517 words
In the grand scheme of adolescence and boyhood, Harry was still working himself out, so far with little luck. But four things he could say for certain: 1) he'd been at the top of his class all through primary and secondary school, 2) he was the shittiest alpha to ever walk the earth, 3) Liam Payne never let him forget it, and 4) he’d been in love with this boy, Louis Tomlinson, ever since he was fifteen years old.
Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.
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hellyeahheroes · 3 years
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Let Molly Punch Wolverine: Why I’m worried about X-Men appearance in Runaways
I want to preface this by saying that I have strong trust in Rainbow Rowell and while I am behind her series due to financial and pandemic related reasons, I trust her to deliver the best story she is allowed to. The worries I express below come from the fact I do not trust X-Men editorial and Jonathan Hickman enough to believe they will allow her to tell the best story.
The way I see it, Runaways are the quintessential Millenial comic in that it perfectly captures Millenial generation’s disillusionment with world and society built by Baby Boomers. A disillusionment that was to be expected in face of failiure of American defenses to prevent 9/11, the government and mass media wholeheartely embracing islamophobia and homophobia in it’s wake and American war crimes in Afghanistan and Iraq, on top of myriad other problems that were already present in the 00s and only got worse as we went ahead. 
This is not seen just in the core premise of the original series, the idea that the parents kids are taught to respect and look up to are actively evil and damning the world for their own benefit. But also in the general potrayal of adults and adult superheroes in the series, who are mostly useless or outright malicious in case of Doc Justice. Sole exception being somewhat Spider-Man, who himself is portrayed as having gone through what Runaways have and so having insight and empathy other adults lack. 
While that theme has become more gray over the years, as Runaways managed to gain a good footing with teachers and students of Avengers Academy alike, and Nico and Victor were on Avengers offshot teams, even then it was clear that the older heroes are not these perfect ideals too look up to, but flaved in their own way. Entire Avengers A.I. is about fixing one of Hank Pym’s screwups and A-Force’s premise is the team doubles as a support group, every member having gone through traumatic experience in the past and being on different stages of healing process (not to mention how it crashed and burned due to mistakes made by Carol in Civil War II). Even X-Men themselves started as outright antagonistic to Runaways under BKV. And then uder Yost went into the mutual “MAYBE they aren’t THAT bad” relationship with Runaways. Every meeting so far had Molly punch Wolverine.
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In current series most of the team moved from teenagers to young adults and their experiences still reflect those of late Millenials. There is this feeling in current series of powerlessness, Runaways making it to the adulthood only to find all it gets you is more problems and all ability to fix the world have been systematically wrestled from your hands by the very people who broke it just so that you cannot fix their mess. It is a story about trying to live in a messed up world with that realization and how your found family can help you carry on whatever it will throws at you. I think in this way is why I can turn a blind eye on things like Nico in Strange Academy - it makes sense she would want to at least try to help kids who are going through what she did to not have as much a hard time. And, you know, Strange didn’t invite A NAZI WHO ACTUALLY WORKED AT AUSCHWITZ WITH MENGELE to help him run the school.
I do not beleive X-Men editorial can play along with that. Right now X-Men and their fandom are at the height of drinking their own kool-aid, portraying their stupid sex island as the msot perfect and best thing ever, to the point they ignore the blatantly fashy things happenning like making up new minority groups (precogs and clones) to oppress, or abovementioned inviting of Nazis, mass murderers and islamophobic crusaders who want to “take back Jerusalem”. They are so into the “mutants are a minority” metaphor that they outright demand that every other book touching on it portray negatively anyone who does not immediatelly bows down at their feet. Something we have seen in X-Men interactions with Fantastic Four, where Sue Storm’s legitimate complaints about X-Men’s current position are caricaturized to cast her in a “uniformed homophobic mom” stereotype just to keep the metaphor working. Even in Fantastic Four’s own book. In wake of this I can somewhat see why the infamous “Franklin is not a mutant” retcon took place.
I cannot beleive that current X-office could allow X-Men to be shown in a way that adheres to themes of Runaways. I mean for Pete’s sake, look at their treatment of New X-Men Academy X - another Millenial at heat series. And another one that tackles disillusionment of that generation with Baby Boomers’ run world with its own 9/11 equivalent in form of a terrorist attack that killed many of its students and traumatized the rest. It is a known secret editor Jordan White considers this a “mistake” because it made old X-Men look bad. And under him in particular X-Books had a history of undermining and derailing NXM kids to show them as inexperienced, dumb kids who never had any hardships and do not know what it really takes to be an X-Man, who see it as all the glamour and no work. All in spite of the fact they may have suffered more than all their elders except Karma, writers’ favorite punching bag. Now the books are outright lobotomizing the surviving kids while bringing back dead ones not to explore any stories with them or how such return could affect the ressurected and their friends alike and maybe allow a possibility to heal. No, this is done solely to erase that massacre from ever happenning because it make Jordan White’s heroes look bad. 
I’m supposed to believe this editorial will allow Cult Sex Island to be shown as imperfect or not a place that would “obviously” be much better for Molly? That it will allow Runaways to not be cast as “bigots” for not wanting to handle Molly to “real family” (as determined by genetics) same way X-Men treated Fantastic Four? As things stand now X-Men, a franchise and fandom that is ever entitled to special treatment to the point it cried Marvel wants to bury them when having “only” four books a month. One that has demanded for Kamala Khan to be handed over to them and made a mutant just to spite Inhumans over some perceived slights. A fandom that has wished death members of every superhero team with a mutant who refuses to hand the mutant over and celebrated brutal murder of a kid with a reprogrammed Sentinel. This blind entitlement is not jsut a fandom thing but also infects creatives working on it. Need I remind you how Jason Aaron made a big deal out of making Firestar join the X-Men? He took a character who canonically didn’t care much for the team and wanted to do her own thing and retconned her to be a total fangirl who dreamed of joining but was never before truly “worthy” of this “honor”. Right now we have more and more evidence every franchise interacting with X-Men needs to bow down and play a secondary role to it. but the respect here is a one-way street, Jonathan Hickman outright complains about having to adhere to work of other writers. I have absolutely zero trust that editorial will not try to force the story in Runaways to also be worshiping the ground X-men walk on. Worst case scenario they insert themselves like they did with Fantastic Four, becoming recurring plot thread and casting rest of Molly’s family as evil for not wanting her to join what is effectively a cult.
I wish I’m being wrong here. I do not want Runaways to become a glorified advertisement to a bigger franchise that has become souless and vile and whose fans turned into bullies. I have faith in Rainbow Rowell but that faith is outweighted by my distrust in Jordan White and Jonathan Hickman and their egoes. I hope I’m wrong. All I want is a story that ends with X-men fucking off and Molly staying with her real family, the Runaways. And of ocurse, her punching Wolverine. Which I do not trust White and Hickman to allow either.
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PS: Some of you are probably already typing some sort of “if you don’t like the X-men, just don’t read them” response. To you I say: I would be glad too. Too bad they keep forcing themselves into things I actually like. Like a mold. Which is a good metaphor for what this old, gross thing the franchise has become.
-Admin
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crispyjenkins · 3 years
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I... I felt I was all alone being uninterested in kid fics so I'm very happy to see it's not just me. (Sorry I'm going to rant for a bit) It's probably linked to the fact that I personally don't want kids but sometimes... I just want to see people able to be happy without children? Even if they don't dislike kids or anything! And sometimes it straight up makes me uncomfortable to see kid fics for this exact reason. (Also it depends on the fandom but SW is definitely one where I generally dislike kid fics, which I think wasn't improved by all the Luke-as-Rey's-father thing)
HI I'M HERE TO VALIDATE YOU
and i have a whole fecking lot of feelings about this topic in particular, this is gonna get a little wordy, but i've tried to organise it somewhat
First: i don't want kids. i'm fairly to extremely confident i'll never want kids. partly because I do not have the mental/physical capacity to devote the time and energy and emotion that children deserve and need. someone on tumblr said it ages ago, "if I don't WANT a kid, if i'm just indifferent, im not going to have a fucking kid until i actively want one", because children are sentient beings and not cute things to make you happy or feel more put together.
Okay, second: i very rarely see parenting written well (and i don't mean about perfect or unproblematic parents), i would even go so far as to call it trivialising. or maybe just completely unrealistic? it's either all honeymoon-period schmoop (which is not necessarily a bad thing) or it's hardly even about the kids and at that point, well, what's the point? especially if the kid is an oc, they can't just. exist on the sidelines of their parents life.
Third: if the kid is a canon character, their entire personality gets nerfed into one or two traits and are shoehorned to fit the narrative the author is trying to tell. this is a complicated issue because i sincerely believe in fun for the sake of fun and interacting with your fandom however you want, but i also just. kids deserve better?
Fourth: on that subject, i most often see the child in question be an oc. again, they're given one or two traits, but are then just a prop for whatever plot is happening to the actual ship. maybe i'm missing something, but i don't understand why you wouldn't use a canon character in the first place? very few fandoms don't already have paternal/maternal/parental relationships to play around with, ESPECIALLY if the author has already made it an au!! i'm not going to pretend a big reason i don't seek out kid fic isn't because they're almost always modern aus, which i already don't like. maybe this one is more petty, but i think kid characters deserve more time and attention put into them as characters, and tbh i've never once seen it done with an oc kid.
Fifth: if it's about adoption, i only EVER see babies (esp in modern aus). the implication that kids aren't adoptable past a certain age is horrendously damaging and i'm so uncomfortable with it that this is another reason i don't seek these stories out.
if it ISN'T adoption, then it's either a) cis mpreg, which is so incredibly transphobic and weirdly fetishising and blehhhhh, or b) transmasculine mpreg which i've. literally never seen written by a trans person so like... aight.
Sixth: the parents are out of character. i've talked a little about woobification before, about the hyperfeminising of one half of the ship and the hypermasculating of the other to fit the mother/father binary that is also inherently transphobic. the characters are sort of just replaced with an honestly hurtful binary rooted in systematic misogyny at the complete sacrifice of their entire personality, and it’s honestly exhausting as both a trans person and a romantically queer person.
before getting into prequel star wars stuff, specifically with mando ships, i don't think i even once read a kid fic where the parents felt plausible and in character, especially if it’s put into a modern au, and i've been reading fanfiction for a decade.
Seventh: i really don't know how to word this part without airing out my own trauma, but back to the trivialising bit, the way authors tend to write this honeymoon-phase type of parenting makes me feel really gross? maybe that's petty or very specifically personal, but the way kids are only in scenes to prop the parents' storyline hits a little too close to home. i'm the third child and the middle child, and that so many "takes" on parenting implicitly hold up the notion of kids only being worth mentioning/caring about/developing is when it's important or relevant to the parents. i dunno, kids deserve better than that.
Eighth: okay finally bringing this back to star wars. i blacklist any parenting anything from any ships from the Original Trilogy. for the prequels, I exclusively read adoption-based stuff, partly because I don't really have any cishet ships i read specifically about, but also because that means the rest is mpreg.
now, i've been positively spoiled by Mando and/or Jedi ships and their culturally important adoption. like i get to read stuff where the parents feel in character? and aren't one dimensional binary caricatures? and the kids are treated as characters and not plot props? AND they're usually older than ten?? to be fair, there are ships i still don't read kid fic for, CodyWan for example, for many reasons i actually haven't covered here, and Boba and Anakin are given the most justice as adopted kids (that i've seen; fingers crossed for more ahsoka and twins content) so there's a massive disparity in representation (which is a star wars-wide issue) but this is also the first time i've even wanted to write child characters.
your bit about characters being happy and having fulfilling lifelong relationships without kids is so incredibly important to me, because it feels exactly the same as an ace person constantly being told i'm missing out. so i'm also wary of fixits centered around parenting, or even "adopting the clones" themes because it's. there's so many more facets to family than parent and child, and i dunno. this is the second time i've written all this and i haven't slept yet so i don't even know if I'm making sense anymore so just basically
i feel you, anon. i'm exhausted by having to blacklist or exclude so many tags just to find content that doesn't make me uncomfortable, and i'm so so so happy to be in the prequels corner of the fandom, because i'm also seeing this problem improving as i watch it. so i have hope, but right now, keep kid fic as far away from me as possible.
(you are correct, the luke and rey dynamic was bullshit and has set us back a lot, though maybe not as much as the fandom's frankly horrifying reaction to kylo ren and blaming all his faults on leia, but that's another topic entirely)
i'll also add that i'm fucking terrible with kids, and reading how they're treated by authors upsets me greatly
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natsumebookss · 3 years
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Valka Sparks Voice Lines
Here's my first PN character, Valka! She's a genetically engineered magical girl (called an Actress) from a fictional country called Olympia. I've got a whole novel I'm working on about these girls, so this is kind of a crossover AU, but I've tried to cram as much important lore about her as I can in these lines. I've had her concept since high school, so she is extremely important to me.
Self-Introduction 1: Good to meet you, I'm Valka Sparks. People in my country call me Actress Espoir, the girl genetically engineered to become the worst Witch. I came to Kamihama to avoid that fate, for me and for everyone. I'll help you out with whatever you like, as long as it doesn't involve the other factions. It's best for everyone here if me and the other Actresses just look out for ourselves.
Self-Introduction 2: Call me Valka. I refuse to use the other name that man gave me unless it's on my own terms, and that means using it to make everything blow up in his face. I like to think that's the name I would have had if I wouldn't have been forced into this damned contract...but enough about that. You'd rather know what my crew is doing here, right?
Personal Story
Story Chapter End 1: They're using me to breed the worst possible Witch. That's really all I'll ever be to them?
(NOTE: In the original PN verse, Valka's body contains a dark spirit, created by Star Corporations trying to inject both light and dark magic into her at once. This dark spirit is a Witch in the Magia Record crossover, but is something entirely unique and staggeringly rare in the novel concept. Basically, if Valka were to turn, it would be less like a Witch transformation and more like a possession, where she would still be aware of what was going on without being able to do anything about it.)
Story Chapter End 2: If I'm cast aside by humans and hunted down by Actresses, what even am I?
Story Chapter End 3: I'll give my life to save every Actress who was ever made. That's the only way I can atone for what I am.
Story Select 1: The Firebrands are after my power...it's my fault...
Story Select 2: Is that what hope means to them?
Story Select 3: How can I protect the others if I couldn't even protect Xing?
Story Select 4: I can't let the Manufacturer get to Omega! She has to stay human!
Story Select 5: Aren't humans supposed to dream of loving people who aren't like them?
Story Select 6: I won't fail you again...Omega...
Stats
Strengthening Complete: I tend to prefer brains to brawn, but I could get used to this.
Strengthening Max: I should be able to stave off the new moon better now.
Episode Level Up: Get away from me now before the Manufacturer turns you too.
Magia Level Up: Hopefully, this takes me one step closer to freeing all us Actresses.
Magical Release 1: I was genetically altered to become the worst possible Witch, so I guess that makes me little more than a living weapon to them.
Magical Release 2: Protecting all Magical Girls is out of my scope, but I know I can at least protect my own kind.
Magical Release 3: I do believe a stronger magical girl of hope does exist, though. When she comes, it won't just be for Actresses...we'll all be freed.
(NOTE: Since Valka and Madoka both have hope motifs and Madoka is seen as a Messianic figure in the anime, I like the idea of Valka being a similar, but more minor prophet, like John the Baptist was in the Christian mythos PMMM taps into occasionally.)
Awaken 1: The Premiere Nebula was formed in honor of a fallen friend. For her sake, I must protect it.
Home Screen
Login (first login): You should be careful around me. Star Corporations and the Firebrands can both take advantage of you being close to me. Though I guess that's not a problem since I'm not in Olympia anymore?
Login (morning): You think I'm up too early? Well, since I fought as the Manufacturer's soldier for so long and I'm an athlete now, I guess this is just normal for me.
Login (noon): In Star Corporations, our diets were strictly regimented. Can't have your soldiers falling ill, can you? I still have to keep in shape for my job, but that's why I still like to indulge now and then.
Login (evening): My Witch's power is tied to the moon, so the more light the moon gets, the stronger I am. On the new moon, my Soul Gem darkens and she tries to come out.
Login (night): I'm used to doing patrols right about now, but the Kamihama girls seem to have things handled here. Time for me to turn in for the night.
Login (other): Actress Soul Gems are different from yours, so I don't know how going to a Coordinator would affect me. But if you need to go, I can give it a shot.
Login (AP full): Omega's my apprentice, so I'm still committed to training her even in an unfamiliar environment. These Witches should segue right into today's lesson.
Login (BP full): Fighting copies feels wrong when your country has sentient clones. But if they can duplicate Actresses, we have to put them down.
Tap 1: You guys don't have Cielflight around here? I guess you could say it's like air hockey, except you play on this big magnetic field. It clears my mind, even though I'm up in the air like always.
Tap 2: Omega and I are reserves on a Cielflight team. She plays defense and I play offense. Unfortunately, that means she still tries to shield me in battle, even though she's still a newbie...
Tap 3: Io always calls me "Valvi-nee," but I don't mind. Battle has turned us into sisters, and besides...I never really did have a cute nickname like that growing up.
Tap 4: Since my magic ebbs and flows with the moon, strategy's the name of the game for me. If I didn't have my wits, there's no way I'd be able to beat someone like Alarice on an off day.
Tap 5: What would I have wished for? Probably for my dad to be president. He campaigned when I was little, worked hard...but still couldn't beat the Manufacturer's influence.
Tap 6: My last ex abused me for being an Actress, so love isn't really a thing for me. With the way my powers are, I'm even too weird for Actresses...though sometimes I wish that wasn't true.
Tap 7: Yachiyo Nanami interests me. She's a lot like how I used to be, and I've gotta say...sometimes I'm jealous of how much support she gets from everyone here. The Nebula's all I have back home.
Tap 8: The Manufacturer wanted me to be his beacon of hope. But now I want to be that same light for the Actresses. If I can do that, I feel like that would make up for everything I've done.
Tap 9: My dad was single, so he asked the Manufacturer and Star Corporations to create a baby for him. That's where I came from, and why they still think they own me.
Battle Start: Okay, so here's the plan...
Battle Victory 1: I believe that's checkmate.
(Since she loves strategy games, I had to use this one even though it's similar to Oriko's.)
Battle Victory 2: As long as Star Corporations sees me as their chosen one, I have a reputation to keep.
Battle Victory 3: That's how it's done! Remember this for next time, Omega.
Doppel: *strained* I have to...keep it together!
Dying: The Manufacturer will never win now.
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rainydaydream-gal18 · 4 years
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Rex x Reader: We Really Shouldn't Be Doing This...
        Author’s note:  I’ve been wanting to write a Clone Wars fic for sooooo long.  I love Captain Rex!  Let’s be honest, I have love for all the babies in 501st. XD  Enjoy! PART 2
Word Count: 1,438
         It was a chilly night.
         You curled up in your sleeping bag, shivering.  This particular mission was a rescue mission, to liberate this planet from Separatist occupation.  In the meantime, you were assigned to aid General Skywalker, Commander Tahno, and the 501st in scoping out the situation and await Obi Wan and his troopers.
         Because of the daring nature of Anakin and Ahsoka’s plans, it wasn’t uncommon for you to be assigned to assist them.  You had recently graduated from Padawan to Jedi.  Rather than give you your own battalion, which you voiced that you were not ready for, the Council let you remain as Commander alongside Obi Wan. Since the death of your former mentor, you completed your training with Obi Wan at the start of the Clone Wars, so you spent lots of time with Anakin and Ahsoka on missions.  Not to mention a certain Captain.
         A cold wind blew, and you instinctively curled up even tighter. How you wished you hadn’t decided to sleep out here!  You should have just joined a group of troopers around a fire. But no.  For the sake of modesty, you had decided to sleep at the edge of camp where it was dark and cold.  Even Anakin and Ahsoka had offered you a place around their campfire, but Captain Rex would also be there.  That certainly would not help your efforts to keep from forming attachments.
         Let’s face it, you already had formed attachments.  Obi Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka were your good friends.  You would do just about anything for them.  You had feelings for Rex.  Ever since the two of you had been paired off on a mission, you hadn’t been able to shake the flutter of your heart when he was nearby or the ache when you had to leave and pretend it didn’t affect you.
         These attachments were so against the rules.  So you kept your little secrets.  There was no jedi mentor to answer to anymore, so it was a lot easier to keep these things to yourself.
         Still, you made an effort to keep your distance from Rex because, well, you were embarrassed by your feelings.  The last thing you wanted was for him to find out, or for anyone else to figure it out for that matter.  It could get you in trouble.
         “Commander _________?”
         Your heart leapt, knowing exactly who’s voice that was.
         “Oh,” you cleared your throat, trying to sound as professional as possible, as you sat up.  He was standing there in only the dark underclothes troopers wore under their armor. His brown eyes met yours, and you forced your gaze to travel to something he had tucked under his arm, a blanket. “Captain Rex.  How can I help you?”
         “General Skywalker and Commander Tahno thought you might be cold.”  He unraveled the blanket and raised a brow.  “By the looks of it, they were right.”
         Your gaze went to the ground in embarrassment, and you broke the formal speech pattern.  “Yeah, unfortunately I don’t do well with cold.”
         “I’ve noticed,” he said, kneeling down.  “You always seem to be the coldest in the room.”
         “Is it that obvious?” you chuckled.  As a jedi, you felt like you had to conceal weaknesses like that.  One of your weaknesses happened to be that you get cold pretty easily.
         “You don’t ever say so, but I can see you shiver.”  Rex paused.  “You could have set up your sleeping bag with us by the fire.  It is my understanding that being a jedi doesn’t mean you have to be a loner.”
         You were well aware of that.  But in this case, being a loner seemed like the more favorable option of the jedi code.
         “I know, but sometimes it does,” you shrugged.  “Thank you for the blanket.  Tell Ahsoka and Anakin I said ‘thanks’ as well.”
         Rex went to hand it to you, and your fingers brushed his briefly as he gave you the blanket. His eyes traveled from your hand to meet your gaze.  “________, you’re freezing.”
         Your cheeks grew warm from his concern.  How embarrassing!  
         “It’s really not that bad,” you tried to reason.  “I mean, I’m sure I feel colder to you since you’re so hot- er, warm. But I’m fine, really, I’m okay. The blanket should help a lot. Thank you.”  You finished your little rant, hoping he’d leave but also wishing he could stay.
         Finally, Rex nodded and turned to leave.  You wrapped the blanket around yourself and curled back up.  He had distracted you from the cold temporarily, but now it had returned.  Had it gotten even colder?  Your teeth began to chatter against your will.  So much for sleep tonight.  You’d be lying awake shivering.
         His footsteps halted, and he stood there as if debating something.  You watched him curiously, clamping your mouth shut to quiet your chattering teeth.
         “________, I insist you bring your sleeping bag to the fire.”
         As much as you really wanted to, you couldn’t.  Not now.  You didn’t want to deal with Anakin’s playful teasing as you shamefully dragged your sleeping bag over.  
         ‘A little cold out there, huh?’ he would say.  ‘I told you so.’
         When you didn’t respond to Rex for a minute or so, he sighed.
         “Then allow me to help you.”
         “W-what?” You watched in disbelief as he approached and began to kick his boots off.
         “Commander, as much as I believe in being professional with my superiors in all circumstances,” he began seriously.  “You won’t get a wink of sleep like this, and I won’t be able to sleep knowing you’re out here freezing to death. However,  I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
         “Oh, I…”  You officially had no idea what to say to that.  This was the opposite of what your intentions were.  You were hoping to escape your feelings for him, not encourage them. “What if someone sees us?” was the only thing you could force out.
         “I won’t be here for too long,” he replied.  “Long enough to help you get warm, but then I’ll head back to my spot.”
         You hesitated.  “Are you absolutely sure about this?”
         “No,” he said.  Then, he chuckled.  “But with all due respect, Commander _________, I’d appreciate if you made your decision soon.  It is awfully cold out.”
         He had resumed using official titles, most likely to make the situation feel less wrong.  He was a Captain aiding a Commander, nothing more.
         “Oh, right, sorry,” you apologized, realizing he was standing there.  Your brain seemed to be going a million miles an hour, unable to settle on a decision. Finally, in a moment of weakness- or courage, you weren’t sure- you said, “I…I think I’ll take you up on your offer.”
         He nodded and began to unseal the sleeping bag.  You scooted over as much as you could to make room as he climbed in.
         He was so warm, but you were still unsure.  This was awkward.
         “Is this okay?” You asked shyly.
         He hesitated.  “Sure, Commander, that’s fine.”  He put an arm around you.  “You really are freezing.”
         At that, you finally relaxed and allowed yourself to just enjoy the warmth.  You had never experienced closeness like this with anyone before, and you liked it. Your shivers gradually died down.
         “Feeling better?"
         “Yes, you have no idea,” you whispered back.  “Thank you.  I know this must be weird for you.”
         “To be completely honest, I’m not as bothered by it as you might think.”  He went silent, as if regretting his words. “I probably shouldn’t have said that. My apologies.”
         “It’s okay,” you replied.  With cheeks burning, you added, “I’m not bothered by this nearly as much as I am supposed to.”
         “Hm, I see.”  
         It went quiet between the two of you for several minutes.  You tried not to focus on the fact that he kept his arm wrapped around you to shield you from the cold. You focused on slowing your breathing, calming your pulse.  It wasn’t long before you were sleepy.
         “We really shouldn’t be doing this,” Rex whispered.  Still, he made no move to leave.
         You sighed.  “I know.”
         Both of you had let on that this particular situation was not as professional as it should be, but did you dare say any more?  Do you dare share your feelings?
         “How do you feel?” He asked.
         “Warm,” you replied sleepily.  Wonderful you wanted to say.  You were starting to drift off into a cozy slumber.
         “Wonderful, eh?” Rex repeated.  Oh, had you said that out loud?  Oh well. Too late to take it back.
         “Goodnight, Rex.  Thank you…” You yawned.
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padmsanakin · 3 years
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i really love the jedi order. i really do. i love them because they tried to do good; they were selfless and expected nothing in return. they are fundamentally good people who want to do good but how did they fail? what is the reason that the whole world collapsed? the galaxy’s fall cannot be blamed on one person; there are thousands or perpetrators whether is it by active choice or basically just ignoring it. they all contributed to the fall of the galaxy.
jedi as individuals can achieve a lot no doubt; many jedi have received the gratitude of many people around them with their need to do good and be selfless. the jedi are a faction that wants to do good and try to minimise their flaws. that’s what they stand for. but what went wrong is when they refused to face those flaws in the wake of a war and raging corruption. they were basically blinded by complacency which is bound to happen when you have the same person as your head for a few hundred years.
let’s look at the bigger picture, it is established that the senate is corrupt and the jedi are serving this corrupt senate believing that they are good. however, they did begin to notice the warning signs but they were too blinded because it worked for more than a thousand years and they believed it would prevail but how wrong were they. the common theme that occurs over and over again is the force’s will which to say they were kind of using that as an excuse to justify their actions.
i believe there’s a clear line between your religious beliefs and your rules. and that is what i am trying to explore here.
the whole notion that yoda is fallible may be foreign to some but indeed, in some ways, he did fail the jedi by not taking quick enough actions or denying his flaws and blaming others. it happens and it’s perfectly normal after being considered wise, humble and all for a few hundred years. how other people view you affect you and yoda is no exception from that. some rules they impose such as the no attachment rule wasn’t originally in the jedi code before our republic. actually, it’s a recent one in the scheme of time. jedi were allowed to marry and love and they condemned possessive relationships which they did rightfully so. but as time went on, they begin to fear healthy relationships too by creating a whole rule forbidding healthy attachment. if they didn’t , then, why did they take kids when they were babies? they did it so they don’t know how to get attached so it helps them to put their mind to fully become the jedi they want.
and when, anakin comes in who basically is very different from what typically the jedi order is used to, they feared him. the jedi feared change. the jedi thought their method was superior and thus, they forced a traumatized boy to fit into a mold he couldn’t. mistake 1. it’s even more scary to know that palpatine had unrestricted access to anakin since he was a preteen which is creepy in itself because he’s an old man and a child which is a prefect background for grooming. the jedi failed to exert their rights as anakin’s rightful guardian. i have heard people say that the jedi were mostly neutral to him when they were assessing him but is it really when what you are saying to perfectly normal feelings that it is evil to harbour them and make the child feel guilty or disappointed. mind you, we are not talking about an adult here; we are talking about a nine year old child, fresh out of slavery. he has lots of trauma in terms of self-worth to deal with and he didn’t need more people telling him he’s bad and evil, causing his self-esteem to further plummet. yes, he seemed confident in tpm, thanks to his mother, but there is there whole self-esteem problem apparent. in this scene, anakin asks what will happen to me now. and i have heard people call him selfish for that. he’s a child for god’s sake who thinks he will be put back into slavery again after being rejected. that’s really messed up. the responsible thing to do then would have been to say, i am sorry but we can’t train you because our training programme won’t fit you and we do not have the tools or training to cope with your trauma but we are willing to help you get into society and free your mother and then hand the reigns to you and your mother to free more of them.
mistake 2. there is nothing wrong to agreeing to fight a war but recruiting a slave army into is not really acceptable. this further shows their moral failings. i think palpatine is part to blame but we can’t divorce the jedi from the blame since they made the choice to lead the slave army. and i doubt there’s nothing in their code to say that they need to accept a slave army to fight in a war. slavery is wrong. there’s nothing more or less to it. there is no good slave owner. so they were nice to them and all but they still infringed on their basic rights; well for one, they had no rights to start with and most considered them canon fodder as if their lives didn’t matter. somehow that’s easy to overlook, i guess. heck, most jedi were nice to them but never really saw them as an equal or as an person save for a few jedi but still they didn’t care enough to free them. everyone in the jedi order is to be blamed for it because they perpetrated slavery and allowed slavery even within the republic. that’s wrong. weren’t jedi supposed to be peacekeepers and guardians of justice. there’s nothing just about slavery. i think people like to just blame palpatine but the Jedi made the choice to accept it. and they continued to listen to him by using this slave army. and none of them really stopped for a moment and considered that hey, this is wrong and maybe, there are better alternatives to using than a slave army like gathering everyone trained in combat like the battle of naboo because there were no clones there btw so planets must have some sort of military. and if you call these lazy pigs and that they won’t defend them and then, i would ask — then , why are they citizens of the republic, isn’t it their duty?
mistake 3, they refused to admit to their mistakes. for example, the whole ahsoka fiasco where they just said that it’s the will of the force. like, does that make it okay to send a minor into a bureaucratic trap where they will probably execute her without a fair trial. considering they prosecuted her on purely circumstantial evidence. like so they are willing to throw their child to sharks because of a this one flimsy piece of evidence instead of standing by her? oh, and then giving her to a probably emotionally unstable jedi just to see if he can let go. does she even mean anything to them? do they care about her education? plus, the guy that was supposed to teach her was a newly minted knight who has yet to get into the balance of things. i don’t think that’s a good idea. so does ahsoka even mean anything to them? like they made quite questionable decisions for ahsoka. and like she’s a child! you are her guardian, you have the rights to do something and they just opted to let rusty cogs run and come to a probably wrong decision? sounds about right.
well, there are a lot more mistakes than this.
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Sara was scared to die...
This is the first time since arrow I believe that we’ve really seen Sara Lance truly be scared of dying. And it wasn’t really like she was scared of dying, it was that she was scared of leaving Ava and scared of leaving her family (the legends). She’s died a lot and been in the face of death a lot but this is the first time since she was on the island on Arrow that she was able to sit with the fact that she was going to lose her loved ones and they were going to lose her. And the magnitude of this was far greater than when she was on the island because she didn’t have close friends, she didn’t have a true love and now she does. 
Sara has always had quips in the face of death, she literally at times laughs in the face of death and makes a smart remark. She’s died multiple times. She doesn’t care that much. But now she’s got love in her life and she cares a whole hell of a lot. There were no remarks this time. No quips. She was solemn. She was pensive. Behind those glasses she was sad. Caity did a brilliant job of still showing Sara’s sadness when we couldn’t see her eyes. You could see it in her body language, hear it in her tone of voice, and see it on her mouth. Ava could see it too. But she let it slide. Ava waited a while to ask Sara what she was hiding because Ava knew Sara had her reasons. And Ava wasn’t accusatory or mad, she was concerned. Their relationship is beautiful that way. And I don’t blame Sara one bit for “keeping things” from Ava. If she had told Ava her vision, they would not have been able to concentrate on the mission, Ava needed to focus, they all needed to focus. They probably wouldn’t have let Sara come with if they knew. And they needed to be at full strength. Remember what Sara said in season 4, she needs to be out there with her team. Sara does things out of selflessness and love. Sara has been through more trauma than any of them. It’s not an easy burden for others to carry if she just starts unloading it all on them. They can’t handle it like she does. She can compartmentalize and make the best overall group decisions. It’s why she’s captain. Yes Sara and Ava are a couple, they are in it together “co-captains for life” but I think Sara was right to hold off on telling Ava and the others.
I want to go back to Sara Lance for a minute. This episode was the moment that hit her about how much she loves her life, the legends, and Ava. Other times she is just like ah fuck it! I’ve died before! But I think these powers and going blind have given her a new perspective. She’s not invincible and neither are her loved ones- despite all the close calls and times that she has died. This is why Sara never wanted to get close to anyone in the early seasons. It’s why she pulled away from the nurse Lindsey’s kiss in the early season. It’s why we can argue that she had all these one night stands. She wasn’t ready for anything real. Because with real love and feelings comes real hurt and pain. But our baby grew up right in front of our eyes. THE GROWTH.
I feel like it wasn’t up until this point that we saw just how deep Sara’s love for Ava is and for her legends family- so deep that for the first time, in the face of death, she isn’t scoffing. She’s not making smart remarks or sassing her way through it. Even when she went to purgatory for Ava, the seriousness of it wasn’t there. Sara’s vibe is always just like “I got this”. This was the first time that she realized she didn’t have this. The second she dropped Ava’s hands in the beginning and slightly stepped back after she saw her fate BROKE ME. The fact that she had to keep it to herself BROKE ME! The look she had on her face behind those sunglasses when they were on the bus and she looked up at the ceiling to gather herself after they said co-captains for life BROKE me because Sara knew she was gonna die. That “for life” had a whole new meaning but she couldn’t tell Ava because she wanted them to focus on the mission.
What killed me even more was the fact that Sara had just accepted this as her fate. She just accepted the fact that the legends would go on without her and that Ava would take over and do a fine job. BXTCH YOURE NOT GOING ANYWHERE STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. And then that final kiss. And Ava’s broken little “Sara...” as the zombies were breaking into the room and Sara with a small smile on her face still trying to reassure Ava that everything would be alright, “co-captains for life” ... “always”. LIKE FUK ME! She was still putting on a brave face for Ava. Sara just being so chill about it for the teams sake and Ava’s sake even though we could tell she was terrified did something to me. 
Also when she stepped away from the legends and drank her beer by herself right before Ava came over I was fucking SOBBING! Like she tried so hard to just keep this all to herself because she loves them all so much but I hated that she even fucking FELT this way and had to go through this. And how about that scene when they all are sitting there and Sara says there’s no place she’d rather be. It’s basically her saying “this is how i’m going to die, I’m surrounded by my friends and the love of my life, not bad.” Fucking Sara Lance breaks my heart. 
Also Ava’s scream for Sara as she sees her dying. I’m not ok. I won’t be ok. Don’t fucking talk to me ever again.
I also like Sara telling them to hush when they said Ava was losing it, “shhh she’s thinking!” lmao. Supportive girlfriend <3 Sara has the biggest fucking heart and I can’t get over it. Her love for Ava runs so deep. And her care for the legends runs deep too. Unlike Rip the legends isn’t about her. She doesn’t screw them over for personal gain. And even in the early seasons when she would run off and try and kill Damien Darhk and get revenge for her sister she was always apologetic about it and made amends. She’s just an amazing, amazing character. I know Rip helped them in the end by sacrificing himself but that shit wasn’t consistent. He was mostly selfish and self righteous. Sara doesn’t think the ship and the team revolve around her. (even if we think it does and she’s the soul of the whole thing) Sara acts like a captain when she needs to but she also puts her faith in so many of the other members and she doesn’t think it’s all about her. She makes connections with the other legends she guides them and gives them courage and confidence- they’re actually her friends and family not just pawns in a game like Rip treated them. 
I also really like how real Ava is as a character. Sometimes I feel like they haven’t figured out if she gonna be a full on bad ass, if she’s gonna be scared and fearless like Sara, if she’s gonna be cold and business-like... But I think they’ve been going a route of Ava being unsure but still doing what she has to do. Like we all know Sara is the fearless bad ass one, but Ava will do what she has to do even if she’s crying about it. Ava is me. Ava is us. Ava kind of fumbles and grumbles her way through things and I love it. Because Sara is so sure of herself and Ava’s like ugh honey idk are you sure about this. And then when things go poorly she flips out where as Sara is like ah this is what we do best. lmao. But then Ava will randomly remember that she was a director ;D and get all hard nosed again. She’s literally a muffin. Her crying to Sara during the zombie fight- and not being afraid to show that she’s crying and Sara with a small reassuring smile that says, we got this babe, and Ava finding the courage because of Sara- is literally their relationship. It remind me of when Ava finds out that she’s a clone and Sara has to reassure her that she’s extraordinary and a bad ass and Ava pulls it together. Gosh. I just love the time and effort that they put into these characters. 
Anyway I’m obsessed with Legends of Tomorrow and they continue to bless us. 
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