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mama-qwerty · 4 months

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Unintentional Insult

From the Knucklesverse au.

~~~~~

Callie sat on the couch, Eclipse spread across her lap, Silver at her hip. Around her sat a handful of Knuckles. (Yes, she was aware that a group of echidna was call a 'parade' but saying there was a 'parade' of Knuckles in her house sounded stupid, so she made up her own term. A handful. Which made so much more sense to her.)

All eyes were on the television before them. She'd treated the group to a movie night at her house, and put in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. She figured it was a safe enough bet for all involved, and thought Gawain may get a kick out of seeing 'himself' featured in a movie.

It seemed to be a hit—lots of laughs at the jokes and various silliness. Little Z got a kick out of the Black Knight, and Cal figured they'd hear the Tis but a scratch! thing in the foreseeable future.

She kept flicking her eyes to Gawain to gauge his reaction, and found him sitting with a slight frown on his muzzle. Curious, she paused the movie, much to the annoyance of the others.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Gawain?"

The echidna turned, almost startled, at the interruption. "I am . . . surprised to see there were people so similar to us on your world. Is this based on factual events?"

A smile curled Callie's lip. "Eh, not really. I mean, the Arthurian legend is real, but this is just satire. A funny story with the characters."

Gawain lowered his head, in the classic "Knuckles thinking" pose. He hummed, his brow furrowed.

"I suppose given the different forms we've seen in the Sanctuary, it shouldn't seem strange that there would be a human version of myself. But somehow it seems . . . strangest of all."

Callie lifted an eyebrow. "Oh? How so?"

The echidna shook his head, glancing back at the TV. "Hearing my name directed at a human is odd."

The woman shrugged. "We didn't have any echidna Knux's. Maybe this was the universe's way to bring that bit of honor and nobility to Earth."

Gawain nodded, but still looked distracted. "I understand that, but still. There are other creatures that could carry a similar nobility. Why a human?"

A tense silence settled over the living room then. It took Gawain a moment to realize what he'd said, and he turned with wide eyes to the others.

The other Knuckles’ stared at him, glared at him. Boom lay on his belly next to him, Dread was on the couch leaning against the arm. Gnarly and Renegade sat on the floor with their backs against the couch on Callie's other side. And Little Z sat at Callie's other hip.

And they all wore identical expressions of annoyance.

Even Eclipse and Silver stared at the knight.

Gawain flicked his eyes up to Callie, the actual human in their midst. She simply watched him, her eyes slightly narrowed, but a little curl on her lips.

He swallowed hard.

"I . . ." he started, clearing his throat to rid the slight shake. "I meant no disrespect. There's nothing wrong with being a human, of course, I simply don't . . . I didn't . . ."

"Ye better think long and hard ‘bout the next words outta yer mouth, lad," Dread said, his own eyes narrowing. His lip pulled into a slight snarl. "'Cause I won't sit here an' let ye insult this fine lass simply for how she be born."

Gawain swallowed again. He wasn't normally one to give any credence to Dread's threats, but he'd stuck his foot in his mouth and it was hard to extract it at the moment.

"I . . ." he said again, and pushed himself to stand. He held his hands in tight fists by his sides, and gave Callie a firm bow. "I apologize for my insult. I . . . I didn't think. I hope you don't think too ill of me now."

He straightened and looked toward the front door, where his armor was neatly stacked. Callie had made him take them off so it didn't scratch or snag any of her furniture.

"I believe I should go. I am sorry for my rudeness."

The echidna turned and hurried toward the door, cursing his tongue for saying something so rude without thinking. He reached for his breastplate when a hand fell on his shoulder. Gawain whirled, expecting perhaps Dread ready to lash out, but found Callie instead.

"Hey," she said, her voice soft. "Hang on a sec. I wasn't insulted. Humans are . . . well, we can be problematic, yeah. But that's not really strange, I don't think. I'd wager any species could have their bad eggs, echidna included. But I understand it feeling a little odd to hear your name attached to someone else."

Gawain stood with his head slightly lowered, but gave her a nod. "I am still sorry for what I said. Before you and Madam Maddie, the only other human I encountered was a vile witch who wanted to claim the kingdom as her own. So . . . I did not have a very good impression of your kind."

Callie hunkered down on one knee to come more face-to-face with the echidna.

"Hey, I get it. I mean, if I met Dread first, I probably wouldn't have a very good impression of echidna in general, either."

"Oi! I can hear ye!" a voice called, the annoyance evident. "And here I be stickin' up for ye! Aye, there's gratitude for ye."

Callie gave Gawain a little smile, which the knight returned.

"No need to be sorry, and no need to leave. C'mon, wanna finish the movie? I'll make some popcorn."

Gawain seemed to consider this, before giving her a shy smile. "May I have some of that warm cocoa?"

"Absolutely. C'mon, you can even help."

His misdeed forgotten, Gawain smiled, and followed his friend toward the kitchen. Callie passed by the couch, as Dread gave her a little evil eye.

"Where be my apology?"

Callie shoved his hat a little further down on his head with a smirk. "You still love me, little pirate man. You know it."

Dread gave a little grunt, straightening his hat. "Against me better judgment."

"Want a popcicle?"

A pause. "Yes, ma'am."

Boom pushed himself up. "Oh, snacks?! Count me in!"

Callie found herself leading a handful of Knuckles, a hedgehog, and a darkling into the kitchen, ready to raid her cabinets to satisfy their case of the munchies.

#sonic fanfiction #sonic the hedgehog fanfiction #knucklesverse #knuckles the dread #sir gawain #callie macpherson

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dionysia-does-stories · 6 months

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The Tale of The Rabbit of Caerbannog

Cringetober 2023, Day 17: "It was a dark and stormy night. . ."

On AO3

Rating T - 592 words - Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Summary: The rabbits of the forest of Caerbannog tell the tale of the night when one of their own became the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

Story:

“It was a dark and stormy night.” they whispered, many voices becoming one voice. Their breath was a wind that battered its way through the trunks of the old Caerbannog forest.

“The dark was complete black. There were no stars. There was no light. Nothing existed in the woods. We ourselves stopped existing in that dark.

“The storm was unexpected. A shattering of meteorological forces that was everywhere and nowhere. We dragged ourselves through thick air. The atmosphere was laden with water and electricity. Our fur clung to our trembling bodies. Our long sensitive ears were deafened by the greatness of the thunder.

“We were rabbits before that dark and stormy night. Now we are something else. A rabbit can fight, but doesn’t. A rabbit runs. A rabbit hides in the burrow. We were born with sharp teeth and sharp claws. But they weren’t meant to taste blood. They were to dig and chew and build the burrow. We were architects of safety before we were remade as machines of war.

“We have tasted blood.

“It was a dark and stormy knight who stumbled through the forest then. He was huge (as all humans are huge). Slow (as all humans are slow). His clanking metal skin would be warning enough any other night. But the thunder had been so loud and the storm so sudden.

“Many of us were out on the forest floor foraging for food. Among them was a new mother from our burrow, a lovely lady fair of feature. The storm frightened her (as it did all of us). She tried to calm her heart and find her way home. She was blinded by the darkness (we all were). She was deafened by the thunder (we all were). She was unable to smell anything but the drowning rain as it poured into her.

“The knight came upon us. He was a lumbering useless fool. But he was hungry. He grabbed at any of us within his reach. His meaty arms flailed. His grotesquely bent fingers grabbed.

“We ran. We’re rabbits. We ran. We are the fastest creatures on the forest floor. Faster than wolves. Faster than human witches. Faster than human gods. But the storm. The knight kept pace with us in the storm.

“He followed us through the shrubbery. He followed us to the burrow. The lady fair was the last of us to make the dive. He saw her bright white fur, even in the darkness. We thought we escaped him into the safety of the burrow. Until, the knight began to dig.

“He dug up the burrow. He dug up the children. He laughed. His laughter was like the thunder. He grabbed the lady fair’s kit, crushing it in his terrible human hands.

“As her kit drew its final breath, something changed within the lady fair. She raised her nose to the heavens. Her ears alert and haunches raised to fight. She called to any god listening to give her the power to kill any knight who crossed her path.

“Her call was answered.

“A violent new strength took up residence in her body. The lady fair’s teeth and claws had a new purpose. She devoured the knight. Blood mixing with the downpour of the storm.

“She made a new burrow, a giant burrow. Where we are all eternally safe. A burrow big enough that knights could walk right in. And her God would lead the knights to her. Wolves to the slaughter. Entertainment to satiate her bloodlust.

“But there is never enough knight’s blood spilled to appease the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.”

#Monty Python and the holy grail fanfiction #monty pyton and the holy grail #monty python #fanfiction #killer rabbit #medieval killer rabbits #the rabbit of Caerbannog #cringetober 2023 #day 17 #cw: animal death #cw: animal cruelty #Will I ever be able to write anything as peculairly messed up as this again #this whole thing started as a homonym joke

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kingarthurtournament · 1 year

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Meet our contestants!

Seeding is in progress, the bracket should be done by tomorrow and Round One will begin! In the meantime send propaganda in the ask box!

List of the nominees under the cut:

Adora from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Aragorn from The Lord of the Ring

Ari Helix from Once and Future

Arthur from Code Geass

Arthur from Arthur King of Time and Space

Arthur from Shrek 3

Arthur from Disney’s The Sword in the Stone

Arthur Boyle from Fire Force

Arthur Dent from The Hitchhiker’s Guide of the Galaxy

Arthur King from King Arthur and the Knights of Justice

Arthur Kingsmen from Mystery Skull

Arthur Liebowitz from Fairy Odd Parents

Arthur Lester from Malevolent

Arthur Pendragon from BBC Merlin

Arthur Pendragon from Kaamelott

Arthur Pendragon from Seven Deadly Sins

Arthur Pendragon from The Mechanisms “High Noon over Camelot’’

Arthur Read from PBS’s Arthur

Bob from the Minion

Dave Strider from Homestuck

England from Hetalia

Excalibur from Soul Eater

Firestar from Warrior Cats

Fjord Stone from Critical Role

Flynn Carson from The Librarians

Jack and Annie from the Magic Tree House

Jim Lake Jr from Trollhunter Tales of Arcadia

John Uskglass from Jonathan Strange and Mr Nobell

King Arthur Baking Company from real life

King Arthur from Gargoyles

King Arthur from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

King Arthur from Quest for Camelot

King Artorius from Wizard 101

King from The Owl House

Ky Kiske from Guilty Gear

Larry the cat from real life

Link from The Legend Of Zelda

Little Josh from the Josh Figh

Lord Foog 2nd from internet meme

Lucille Kensington from Where the Stars Fell

Magnus Burnsides from The Adventure Zone

Martin the Warrior from The Redwall Series

Merric from Fire Emblem

Mario from Nintendo’s Paper Mario

Peter Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia

Poptropica Player Character from Poptropica

Prince Marth of Altea from Fire Emblem

Queen Elisabeth II’s ghost from real life

Rand Al’Thor from The Wheel of Time

Richard Campbell Gansey III from The Raven Cycle

Roland Deschain from The Dark Tower

Saber Artoria from Fate/Stay Night

Sailor Venus from Sailor Moon

Simon Snow from Carry On

Sonic the Hedgehog from Sonic and the Black Knight

Sora from Kingdom Heart

Stabby the Roomba from real life

Tedros from the School for Good and Evil

The lettuce who outlasted Liz Truss from real life

The little swedish girl who found a thousand year old sword in a lake from real life

The Luidaeg from The October Day Series

Thomas the Tank Engine from Thomas King of the Railway

Wart from The Once and Future King

Zagreus from Hades

#King arthur tournament #bracket #masterpost #arthur pendragon #king arthur #arthuriana #arthurian legend

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ser-zoras · 11 months

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Making this one (1) post so I don’t piss people off. So here’s me writing ASOIAF characters into a bunch of Really Stupid Movies that I like because it’s fun. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL - Oddly this one is tricky. I think the narrative itself probably best fits Dunk and Egg, but I haven’t gotten to read that yet. So obviously Arthur is Robert Baratheon. Barristan Selmy is Lancelot, and I think Bedivere should be Jon Arryn for no real reason other than that it’s funny. Jaime is Galahad because in a theoretical sense they’re both formidable but in a more practical sense, very useless. I don’t know any other edits I would need to make according to this but replacing the rabbit with like. The Hound’s horse. That would be fantastic. And the Black Knight is the Smiling Knight, just because.

BLADES OF GLORY - ok credit to @jackedup180 on this one and also as inspiration for the whole post. So Sansa and Dany get kicked out of international figure skating singles due to getting into a fistfight on the podium and are forced to team up in the doubles division to skate again. This means challenging the throne of the reigning international champs, Cersei and Jaime, who are not fucking but have just as much creepy sexual tension. I’m not kidding this is the actual plot of the movie. Instead of Jenna Fischer’s character, I want Tyrion to be an accountant with zero sexual tension with either of the girls and who Jaime keeps convincing to spy on other teams. TALLEDEGA NIGHTS - Ultimate Jaimecore. So Jaime is a NASCAR driver who gets dragged into a competition with a younger, gayer driver (Loras) and ends up getting horribly injured and can no longer drive. For some godforsaken reason he was still living with Cersei and her kids and she kicks him and all the kids except Joffrey out of the house and hooks up with either one of the Kettleblack brothers or Taena. Jaime and co have to move in with Genna, who sets about whipping the kids into shape, and Jaime has to learn to drive again, from like Arthur Dayne or somebody. He eventually befriends Loras but decides to race him again anyway.

ANCHORMAN - I’m sure people think I’m lying when I say this, but this is just if JB were local news co-anchors in the 70s. There’s even a scene where they end up in a pit with a bear!

BAD MOMS - Yet another difficult one. Our charming, recently divorced heroine could be Cat if we’re doing exclusively the main series but I think drawing from all eras of Westeros is funnier, so it’s Rhaenyra, with Rhaena and Daella as her backup, taking on Alicent, the head of the local PTA, who is allied with Cersei and Alysanne.

ONE CRAZY SUMMER - Okay I am just saying that Jon and his Nights Watch boys take on the roles of Hoops and company. Sam is the character with the father who teaches children how to set off grenades. Grenn and Pyp are the twins, and Tormund is the kid whose place they’re staying at. Val or Ygritte is Demi Moore’s character. The real estate company they’re fighting is just the fucking Others.

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dreaminggoblin-yells · 2 months

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Labyrinth Meadows

Well, the pie is in the oven, I look presentable to society, so let's go diving into this old writing project that's Egg 28 in my Plot Hatchery.

@cljordan-imperium @thebejeweledwatercat @pheita @lurakha Here we go!

So, I originally wrote this in 2014, probably around the middle of the year. The back of the notebook has exam dates in it from when I was in school.

The entire archive file also has a few sheets of paper with another story allegedly set in the same world, and a different big A4 school notebook with a handwritten copy of chapter 1 on one side and empty space for corrections on the other, and some sketches and character notes.

But the focus is the old black notebook.

In last night's post I said little me hit all the YA Urban Fantasy tropes, and I think that is pretty much true.

red headed 17y/o FMC MMC who has black hair and is apparently magically young-looking but over a century old. He's also broody and annoyed at FMC and has an enemy of old who targets FMC to get at him. The two have little chemistry that I can see. FMC's parents are dead, and her grandmother dies in chapter 1 FMC's name is Autumn, named after the season she was born in. Autumn has a completely normal best friend The city is ~weird~ but everyone just rolls with it. There's an unwritten rule not to be out alone past midnight. Autumn breaks this rule the day we meet her. There is a magical second world, a city under the city that is, according to legend, the original Labyrinth Meadows. It has monsters that occasionally surface.

It also has LitRPG aspects with a skill system. At the time, I didn't know what LitRPG was, but I knew Choose Your Own Adventure books that had a character sheet with skills and inventory. My dad has a few of those and I like to go snooping through his bookshelves.

The skill and quest system appears as textboxes floating in front of Autumn. A casual skimming of the chapter doesn't make it clear whether only she can see it. Her first quest is for a killer bunny (think Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I'm pretty sure I'd recently watched that because it was on TV at the time.)

Now I gotta go get the pie out the oven, will continue in the reblogs

#yelling at clouds #labyrinth meadows #e28

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quadruple-whammy · 1 year

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Notice: Thank you for noticing this notice…

Lately I have been noticing myself more often.

When I say that I guess I mean I’ve been more conscious of myself, but I’m not sure if that’s really the right word. It’s not really a “becoming aware” like being conscious is, it’s just a noticing like you notice your friend is wearing red shoes.

Not that you notice they’re wearing NEW red shoes, mind you. Just taking note of their outfit, is all.

I live in a smaller town area where Christianity is a big thing, mostly Baptist. You can imagine how conservative it is. We don’t get a lot of “alternative” kids, but when we find each other, we stick to each other. I didn’t grow up here. I grew up in a bigger city where you’d see alternative kids at least twice a day. But I was still in a very Christian and conservative environment, mostly at school (my parents were and still are very lax and not super conservative like some might think), so I got used to being the odd one out. The only one with leather jackets and battered Chucks and Docs in a sea of kids whose parents wouldn’t even let them get their ears pierced or read Harry Potter.

(And I understand “alternative” is a very broad term, I know it’s nuanced. But you get the point. Also, I don’t mean conservative in the political sense, not really; mostly just conservative values.)

Maybe two weeks ago I was walking across the street downtown, thinking about how cool I must look right now with my new leather overcoat and the platform Doctor Martens I bought off a coworker. I was on my way to see Monty Python and the Holy Grail with my cousin. Then I noticed that the people in their cars were probably watching me cross the street the way I watch pedestrians crossing the street when I’m first in the line of cars.

A couple days ago I went to Walmart. I don’t remember what I was there for, maybe some sort of office supply? Doesn’t matter. I got out of my car and saw two women leaving the store as I was walking through the parking lot. The two women didn’t say anything, I don’t even think they really looked at me, but it made me notice myself. I was wearing a new Metallica shirt, my work-in-progress patch pants, Doc Martens on my feet. I do remember that, what I was wearing. Because it made me think, “it must be so strange to these women to see a person dressed like this”.

Today I went to Target to buy Fall Out Boy’s new album and the same thing happened. Today I was wearing my jean vest (complete with pins and a mural on the back dedicated to Suicidal Tendencies’s song Institutionalized), my trusty loose black pants, two chains hanging from the belt loops, same black Doc Martens. As I passed a woman on the phone, I thought, “how often do these people see someone like myself?”

It’s not that I’m wondering if they’re judging me. I’m well past that. I got past that in 5th grade. In fact, I haven’t really gotten any nasty comments or judgmental stares thrown at me, mostly just my parents wanting me to show their friends my battle jacket.

But I’ve heard stories. The threat is always there. I just don’t care enough to heed the warning.

I’m just noticing how I look to other people. I’m the girl on the street that the older, more conservative generations (boomers) pray for, hoping I’ll find Jesus, when the reality is He found me and now we talk every night before bed.

I don’t want this to be a story about my experiences as the alt kid in a conservative circle, that’s for another post.

But I have been noticing myself lately.

#creatively written #memoiries #in the topics #creative writing #writeblr #writing

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toastywindow · 1 year

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youtube

TOP 100 MOVIES IN 100 SECONDS (window's recommendations)

All thanks to Elvis the Alien for making this possible! It helped out with the stress that's going on with my life right now

Original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d60zSwswoAU

Gonna post the list of the movies down below the pinned comment so it's easily read by all.

These aren't objectively good movies. These movies are deemed top 100 for me based on how many times I've watched it, and the good and happy memories that are attached thereto. So while to some of you there are bad movies in the list, for me, they're the best things in life that makes me look forward to another day. Cheers to the new movies to come!!!

See you guys later!

P.S. putting these clips on beat is highkey hard asf

Press read more to see the full list of the movies I've placed in the video

Top 100 Movies as seen in the video

The Prince of Egypt (1998)

Design for Living (1933)

Professor Marston & the Wonder Women (2017)

Marrowbone (2017)

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Shallow Grave (1994)

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Bandits (2001)

The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)

Ophelia (2018)

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016)

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)

Blue Ruin (2013)

The Adventures Of Tintin (2011)

What We Do In The Shadows (2014)

Amadeus (1984)

Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper (2004)

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

Odd Thomas (2013)

The Three Musketeers (2011)

Star Trek IV: Voyage Home (1986)

Ratatouille (2007)

The Green Knight (2021)

Rocketman (2019)

Loving Vincent (2017)

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

The Road to El Dorado (2000)

The Addams Family (1991)

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013)

Pride & Prejudice (2011)

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2013)

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Pride (2014)

Pearl (2022)

Citadel (2012)

次元大介の墓標/ Lupin the III: Daisuke Jigen's Gravestone (2014)

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009)

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)

The World’s End (2013)

Treasure Planet (2002)

Star Trek Beyond (2016)

John Wick (2014)

Grave Encounters (2009)

Bridget Jones’ Diary

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2012)

High School Musical 2

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Now You See Me (2013)

Knives Out (2019)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Rurouni Kenshin (2012)

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Toy Story 2 (1999)

Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Hot Fuzz (2007)

Klaus (2019)

Emma (2020)

The Man from U.N.C.L.E (2015)

The Producers (2005)

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Hotel Artemis (2018)

The Mummy (1999)

Pacific Rim (2013)

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

Captain Fantastic (2016)

The Lego Movie (2014)

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

Mulan (1998)

1917 (2019)

It (2017)

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

Pitch Perfect (2013)

The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012)

Men In Black 3 (2013)

The Sea Beast (2022)

Constantine (2005)

Alice In Wonderland (1951)

Rocky III (1982)

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Pokémon: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew (2005)

Booksmart (2019)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

Rise of the Guardians (2014)

Children of Men (2006)

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)

The Batman (2022)

Anastasia (1997)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Nope (2022)

#andre talks #video #video edit #video on youtube #i dont wanna list every movie shown here #if you find this post then lucky you!#hope you enjoy #Youtube

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jingerhead · 2 years

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Bro bro can you imagine the foxes showing Neil Monty Python The Holy Grail and Neil going, “Tis but a scratch” every time he gets hurt or “just a flesh wound”. Like he would so copy the black knight

It's the only thing he takes in from the movie JSJSJS oh I had to write this one, I hope you enjoy this little drabble lovely! Thanks so much!

Send me a prompt or something :)

~*~

Neil wasn't into movies. He always figured he could find a better way to spend two hours than sitting on a couch watching a fake story, but the foxes tended to use movie nights as a way to hang out easily, so he often found himself coerced into sitting on the couch bored out of his mind. When he admitted he didn't watch movies the upperclassmen tried showing him Disney classics and other big hit series, and while they loved those ones, Neil couldn't get himself interested. He couldn't even lie about it.

Still, the others seemed determined to find something that Neil would like, declaring another movie night and all staying tight-lipped about which one it was going to be. Neil showed up at Matt's dorm, this time with Andrew in tow, and they all settled down with giant bowls of popcorn and drinks. Neil decided to leave his usual spot in the corner open for Andrew and settled on the floor instead, grabbing a pillow to sit on for the next two hours.

"I'm not even going to ask if you've seen this one," Nicky said as he fiddled with the blu-ray player. "But just so you know: we're watching Monty Python and The Holy Grail."

"Okay," Neil said, glancing back at Andrew before leaning against his legs.

"It's so funny," Nicky continued as he sat back down, the screen beginning to play the movie. "The coconuts, the witch trial, the knights who say ni..."

"The black knight," Matt added.

"The killer bunny," Dan said.

"The holy hand - "

"You're giving away the movie," Neil interrupted. If there was anything worse than having to sit through a long movie, it was everyone else having a conversation while the movie was playing. What was the point of watching it, then?

As usual, the movie was fine. Just fine. The others were laughing at certain parts and the movie was clearly meant to be humorous, but it was...well, it was a movie. Most of the time Neil spent thinking about all the other things he could be doing as King Arthur led another one of his knights to death. He kept note of the parts the others had mentioned incase they asked him questions later, but other than that, he ran through exy drills in his head and enjoyed leaning against Andrew's legs.

"So!" Nicky said when the movie ended, and as usual, everyone turned to face Neil. "How was it?"

"It was a movie," Neil replied, like he usually did. "It was funny," he decided to add, hoping that would be enough to satisfy them for now.

It seemed to work, because he was able to leave the dorm earlier than usual - or maybe that was because Andrew led him back to theirs and nobody wanted to get in the way - and even had enough time to watch a match before he went to sleep that night. Like the rest of the movies the upperclassmen had gotten him to watch, he couldn't completely forget it, but after two days nobody asked him his opinion anymore. Things were as they always were.

Until a week later, when the Foxes had a game. It had been going in the Foxes favor so far, which is probably why the other team started to play a bit dirty. At one point Neil was hit hard enough to make him fall over, and in a last minute attempt to prevent that he tripped over his own feet, right ankle rolling painfully as he went down. That pain didn't go away, getting worse by the second, enough that Neil knew he wouldn't be able to get up and run anytime soon. A brief fight between players was broken up by the refs and Neil found himself surrounded by his teammates quickly.

There was a flurry of questions Neil could barely keep up with when he was doing his best to keep from wincing as he moved his right leg, trying to look down and assess the damage. Someone gagged and said, "Oh God, I can see it swelling," but it could've been worse. It probably wasn't broken, fractured at the very worst, just enough to take Neil out of the rest of the game. It frustrated him, and the concern from his teammates only amplified that frustration, and they wouldn't stop asking him if he was okay.

'I'm fine' would've gotten him disappointed looks. So instead, without thinking, Neil said under his breath, "Tis but a scratch."

The others went quiet immediately. "Was that a joke?" Matt asked, his lips lifting in a smile before falling neutral again, like he couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or not.

"Oh no, better check for a head injury too," Allison said through her own laughter. Soon just about everyone else laughed along with her, and the air became more relaxed.

After a few seconds Neil was hauled to his feet, allowed to lean heavily on Andrew who walked him towards the sidelines. Neil could limp, so he figured the damage couldn't be as bad as he thought, but he appreciated the help anyway. Andrew stuck around as Abby helped Neil take off his shoe and sock, putting ice on it for now as she dug for more supplies to wrap it with.

"Just a flesh wound," Neil said to Andrew. He was almost surprised to see a bit of amusement flash through Andrew's eyes. Neil wondered if he liked that one movie.

"You would lose an arm and say that," Andrew said.

"Probably not," Neil grumbled, hissing when Abby started to wrap his ankle up. "That was unrealistic."

Andrew didn't say anything else, and he stuck at the sidelines long enough to make sure Neil kept the ice on his ankle before heading back onto the field. The Foxes pulled through that game, loading onto the bus to head back to Palmetto late that night. It was only then that Neil realized he'd made a terrible mistake.

"If you liked that one, we could watch some other Monty Python movies," Nicky was saying. "Who knew Neil would be into comedy?"

#aftg #aftg fanfic #tfc #tfc fanfic #all for the game #all for the game fanfic #the foxhole court #andreil #andreil fanfic #andriel #andriel fanfic #jinger's works #jinger answers

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castrateurfate · 3 years

Text

Alright, guys.

Here's a list of the DVDs in my room.

Rate My Taste

Here:

13 Assassins

2001: A Space Odyssey

300

47 Ronin

8 Mile

A Fistful of Dollars

AVP2: Requiem

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Account Rendered

Adaptation

Afro Samurai: The Complete Murder Sessions

Airplane!

Akira

Alien vs. Predator

Alley Cats

Amadeus

Amelie

Anastasia

Arachnophobia

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Back To The Future

Barry Lyndon

Batman

Batman Ninja

Batman TAS: Secrets of The Caped Crusaders

Batman TAS: Tales Of The Dark Knight

Batman: Gotham by Gaslight

Batman: Mask of The Phantasm

Battle Royale

Beetlejuice

Being John Malkovich

Ben-Hur

Big Eyes

Big Fish

Big Time Rush: Halfway There

Bill

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Birdman: (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

Black Dynamite

Black Mama White Mama

Black Swan

Blackkklansman

Blade Runner: The Director's Cut

Blazing Saddles

Bonnie and Clyde

Boogeyman

Bowling For Columbine

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Breaking Bad

Breaking Glass

Brexit: The Uncivil War

Brokeback Mountain

Bubba Ho-Tep

Bugsy Malone

Bula Quo

Capitalism: A Love Story

Capote

Casablanca

Chicago

Children of Men

Churchill: The Hollywood Years

Citizen Kane

Clash Of The Titans

Clash of The Titans

Cleopatra Jones

Cloud Atlas

Clueless

Coffy

Commando

Conan The Barbarian

Control

Coraline

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Curse of The Golden Flower

David Brent: Life On The Road

Dazed And Confused

Deadpool

Deadpool 2

Death Note

Death Proof

Demolition Man

Descendants

Dirty Harry

Django Unchained

Doctor Zhivago

Dodgeball

Dog Soldiers

Double Indemnity

Dowton Abbey: Series One

Dr Strangelove Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

Dr Suess' How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Dr. No

Drunken Angel

Drunken Master

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

Ed Wood

Edward Scissorhands

Elfie Hopkins

Escape Plan

Evil Dead

Evolution

Extras: The Complete First Series

Fahrenheit 9/11

Falling Down

Fame

Family Guy Presents: Blue Harvest

Family Guy: Season Nine

Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Finding Netherland

Flashdance

Footloose

Forrest Gump

Forrest Warriors

Foxy Brown

From Dusk Till Dawn

From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money

From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter

From Here to Eternity

Frost/Nixon

Frozen

Funny Face

Gatsby

Ghost Dog: The Way if The Samurai

Ghost In The Shell

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex Vol. 1

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex Vol. 2

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex Vol. 5

Ghostwatch

Gnomeo & Juliet

Godzilla

Gone With The Wind

Grave of The Fireflies

Gremlins

Groundhog Day

Hail, Caesar

Happy Gilmore

Harry Hill's TV Burp Gold

Harry Hill's TV Burp Gold 2

Harry Potter And The Order of The Phoenix

Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone

Hero

Hideo Nakata's Dark Water

High and Low

Highlander

History: Poltergeists

History: Spontaneous Human Combustion

History: Vampires

Hobo With a Shotgun

Horrible Histories: Series One

Hot Fuzz

Hot Rod

House of Flying Daggers

I Know What You Did Last Summer

I, Tonya

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

In Bruges

Inglorious Basterds

Insomnia

Iron Man

Isle of Dogs

JFK

Jackie Brown

Jaws

Johnny English

Joker

Julie & Julia

Jumanji

Jurassic Park

Kick-Ass

Kick-Ass 2

Kill Bill Volume 1

Kill Bill Volume 2

King Kong vs. Godzilla

Kingsman: The Secret Service

LEGO Batman: The Movie (DC Super Heroes Unite)

LEGO Star Wars: The Yoda Chronicles

Labyrinth

Lady Vengeance

Last Action Hero

Lawrence of Arabia

Legends of The Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

Leon: The Professional

Les Miserables: In Concert (The 25th Anniversary)

Let The Right One In

Life of Pi

Limitless

Lost In Translation

Loving Vincent

Macbeth

Mad Max

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

Marvel's Original Spiderman: Season 3 Vol. 1

Mean Girls

Megamind

Memoirs of a Geisha

Metropolis

Michael Jackson: Moon Walker

Miller's Crossing

Miranda Hart: My, What I Call, Live Show

Monster House

Monster in Paris

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Moulin Rouge

Mrs. Brown's Boys: Season One

Mulan

Mulan 2

My Week With Marilyn

Mythbusters: Season 1

Napoleon Dynamite

Naruto Shippuden: Box Set 1

Naruto Shippuden: Box Set 2

Nausicaä of The Valley of The Wind

Night of The Living Dead

Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation Vol. 1

Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation Vol. 3

No Country for Old Men

North by Northwest

O Brother Where Art Thou?

Oldboy

Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood

One Hour Photo

Open Season 2

Osama

Pan's Labyrinth

Paper Towns

Parasite

Paris When It Sizzles

Patton

Persepolis

Pleasantvile

Pokémon The Movie: Hoopa And The Clash of Ages

Pokémon: 4 Ever

Precious

Predator

Psycho

Pulp Fiction

Pumpkin Scissors

Rain Man

Rare Exports

Red Riding Hood

Reefer Madness

Requiem For A Dream

Reservoir Dogs

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justkeeptrekkin · 4 years

Text

A gift to all my followers!

This is something I whacked out a couple of weeks ago- just a thank you to all my followers who’ve stuck around, or who have just found me within the Good Omens fandom! It means the world to see you guys enjoy my fics. This is my gift to you guys, now that 2019 is coming to a close!

Enjoy! x

***

It’s hard to keep track of time when they're together on a good day. It’s even harder on the best of days.

The Ritz is busy. The lunch table is inappropriately large for just the two of them. They’re sat right next to each other. Champagne is bitter-sweet on Crowley’s tongue and he could watch Aziraphale for hours, listen to him talking for hours. He measures the way Aziraphale leans towards him with a hand stretched across the table, sharing a story. Eyes bright, typically taut posture unusually relaxed. Entire aura relaxed. The feeling in his own chest, relaxed.

And so it’s harder than usual to keep track of the time. People leave after tea; people arrive for dinner; people leave after dinner. The waiters stare at them from the kitchen doors, waiting for them to ask for the bill, which they don’t. Crowley barely has it in him to glare at them.

Their knees touch for almost the entire time.

For Crowley and Aziraphale, time has only ever been a construct. However, it has also, always, been bound by celestial responsibilities. Now, they have no such responsibilities. And they are no longer being watched.

The sky is darkening just a little when they finally leave. Green Park remains busy at-

Crowley checks the time on his phone.

-Greek Park remains busy at five thirty on a Tuesday night. People line up at the bus stop, heading home from work. Tourist stands filled with union jacks litter the streets outside the park. The colonnade of The Ritz shelters them from a light bit of drizzle.

Crowley slides his hands into his negligible pockets and considers what comes next. Dining at The Ritz has always comes with a time limit, and somewhere to go immediately afterwards. Some sort of agenda. He doesn’t know what that is now.

He looks over at Aziraphale, who hovers. Hovers and fiddles with his hands. Gaze flitting about as if he’s nervous, smile flickering on and off as if he doesn’t want Crowley to notice. He makes a feeble attempt at smiling again and gestures to the rain with a small nod. “Lovely weather we’re having, eh?” he says. It’s followed by a shaky half-laugh.

Crowley frowns at him, the bottom half of his face forming a smile. He feels as if he’s watching the Angel of the Eastern gate, introducing himself at Eden. And something about the sudden awkwardness fills him with intrigue- more than that, anticipation.

He leans back against a column, hands in pockets, and surveys Aziraphale’s anxious flapping.

“Well, go on, then,” Crowley prompts. “Something’s on your mind.”

“Not on my mind, per se,” Aziraphale concedes. His eyes darting up to the roof of the colonnade, to Heaven- a habit that may take some time to kick. “An idea of sorts.” “You’ve intrigued me,” Crowley drawls.

“Nothing exciting. Only.”

The look Aziraphale gives him in the brief moment of hesitation is heart-breaking. It’s filled with hope, and a healthy dollop of apprehension, too. As if Crowley would ever deny him anything. Crowley has experienced these moments of heart-shattering, heart-squashing, heart-pummelling love many times before, and he very much hopes that he’s done an alright job of concealing it from his expression.

He raises his eyebrows at Aziraphale and waits.

Aziraphale sighs, looking uncomfortable and apparently having no intention of expanding. He expects Crowley to make the move. Unsurprising.

“I could…” Crowley starts. Aziraphale looks at him in hope again. Christ on a bike I’m a pushover, he thinks. “I could. Invite you round to mine for a drink. If… you were thus inclined.” A great beaming smile. “Oh, you took the words right out of my mouth.” Crowley huffs an almost-laugh. They look at each other. And they both let the weight of that sink in. Slowly, like the rain that’s currently seeping into the stone pavement beyond the Ritz’s colonnade.

“Right,” he announces quickly, before thoughts can escalate any further. “Off we go, then?”

“Yes, just so. Tip top.”

Crowley conjures an umbrella. It’s not as if anyone would have noticed, he tells himself, though he sees the doorman at the Ritz recoil a little in shock. They share its shelter until Aziraphale miraculously hails a cab.

***

“Best idea you’ve had all week, angel- and that includes the body swapping nonsense.”

Aziraphale is sat on Crowley’s sofa. He has been handed a glass of wine. He holds it between cupped hands like he plans to take communion. His legs are hidden behind a tartan blanket. (Crowley will never admit that he conjured such a thing long, long ago, just in case something like this might happen. Something like Aziraphale staying for a movie night, or even, staying for the night. It had always seemed so unlikely. In fact, the moment he’d created said blanket, Crowley had been so infuriated by his blind hope of ‘having Aziraphale round’ that he’d burned it.

He’d restored the ashes to its original, tartaned form just a couple of hours later.)

“It seemed like the next logical thing,” Aziraphale explains pensively, brows raised and peering down into his Malbec. “If I had a ‘to do’ list, this is what I would put on it. I haven’t sat down and watched a movie all the way through in such a long time.” This may well be true, Crowley considers, as he rifles through his DVD collection, knees against polished concrete and painted nails tapping the spine of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Meanwhile, he’s simply marvelling at the fact that they’ve never sat down and watched a movie all the way through together, the two of them, ever. They’d always had more important things to be getting on with, like saving the world or performing miracles or negotiating the terms of their Agreement. And now. Now they can-

Now they can what?

He looks back over his shoulder at Aziraphale. Aziraphale is looking at him. The angel’s gaze flicks away instantly, staring back down into his wine. It hurts something in his chest. A nice kind of hurt, like a dash too much wasabi.

Crowley takes a moment to recover from this. Then- “You. You still haven’t given me any clues. What you in the mood for, angel?”

Aziraphale’s eyes widen for the briefest moment as if he’s alarmed by this question, for whatever reason. Then he frowns to himself, purses his lips in thought. Casts his eyes around the room, for inspiration. “Something…” “If you say nice,” Crowley warns, knees hurting a little on the hard floor.

“I wasn’t going to,” Aziraphale retorts. He pauses. He adds, more quietly, “I was going to say fun.”

Crowley groans. Turns to the DVD cabinet.

“I don’t do fun,” he says slowly, emphatically.

“Alright, well. Something at least a bit light-hearted. I think saving the world rather calls for it, don’t you?” Crowley tilts his head from side to side in consideration. “It’s a fair point,” he concedes to himself more than Aziraphale. Pouts. “Don’t want to bring the mood down. Not sure I’d want to…”

The reason he doesn’t finish his sentence is because he’s just been, unfortunately, reacquainted with the more mushy end of his DVD collection. He’d forgotten that he has several Audrey Heburn films, as well as a couple of Julia Roberts classics. He glares at them. Hidden amongst the arthouse silent movies, they’re betraying just how soft he is. And Aziraphale’s watching.

The DVD boxes quiver under his stare.

“How about we start with discussing what you have,” Aziraphale tries, reasonably. “Since we can’t reach a consensus. We don’t even have to watch a DVD if you don’t want-”

“Netflix,” Crowley remembers, standing up abruptly and immediately closing the cabinet. Then, “Netflix! That’s a thing. That’s a thing that we can do.” “Oh yes- I’ve heard of that,” Aziraphale says chirpily.

“Oh, yes, well done, angel.”

Aziraphale glares.

And so the Netflix loading screen bongs into life, Crowley collapsing onto the sofa beside Aziraphale. The red wine is jostled; Aziraphale tuts. Crowley props his heels on the coffee table.

“Do you mind. I almost spilled Malbec on my shirt.” “Lots more choices now,” Crowley ignores him and begins flicking through. “Look, it’s all organised nicely in rows of genre. Love how tidy this is, look. And the search function is so much easier. Have you tried the search function on Amazon Prime, lately? Nightmare.” “I have no clue what you’re talking about,” Aziraphale replies lightly, spinning the wine in his glass like a whirlpool.

“Look, ‘s’got a whole section called ‘light-hearted movies’.”

“Very helpful.”

They flick through the row. They go through all of them without choosing, and end up at the beginning of the loop again. Crowley growls and hangs his head off the back of the sofa.

“Oh, pass it here,” Aziraphale sighs, putting down his wine with a decisive clink and picking up the remote. He holds it with one hand and presses the directional buttons with his other hand, as if it’s far more complicated and delicate a process than it actually is. Like an octogenarian trying to use an iPhone.

“How about this lovely looking Christmas film.“

"N- no. Anything but that. It’s October. And more importantly, no.”

“It looks ever so sweet, though. How lovely and romantic-”

“We are not watching The Christmas fucking-well Prince.”

He’d had a hand in inspiring that, and he’s too embarrassed to admit it even to himself. His evil deeds really are shit.

“No need to snap,” Aziraphale mutters.

“If you’re determined to watch something romantic and seasonal, I will accept The Holiday. If I must. Jack Black makes it bearable.”

Aziraphale lets the screen rest on the thumbnail of the movie. Then, quite thoughtfully, he says: “I like Kate Winslet. She seems like a nice woman.”

“Mm. Yeah, that’s. OK. I’m sure she is, angel.”

In all honesty, the idea of watching a rom-com with Aziraphale is border-line torture. It’s not quite as bad as waterboarding, but it’s close. More on the same level as those nightmares you get where you have to do a maths exam in your underwear, on stage, and all of your exes and crushes point and laugh at you. Not only are rom-coms pretty hit and miss- some influenced by Heaven, some by Hell, you never know what you’re going to get- they’re also a fantastic way of making Crowley feel incredibly exposed. Incredibly hot in the face from second-hand embarrassment. Incredibly aware that he’s meant to be sneering and heckling, when he’s just trying to concentrate on holding himself together. Stop the feelings from spurting out of his heart like water in a dam: feelings that he thinks are, embarrassingly, rather a lot like longing.

And yet, because it is Crowley, and this is what Crowley does, he lets Aziraphale select the movie and they watch The Holiday. They remark on the general cheesiness, the (at times) witty dialogue. The staggering amount of disbelief that has to be suspended for the plot to work. How nice Jude Law looks in glasses.

Crowley’s only sort of watching. He’s concentrating on Aziraphale. Not outright staring at him (although he does often do that, it’s a wonder he hasn’t noticed and told Crowley to sod off). Rather, letting his brain tick over the knowledge that he is right beside him. Too much of his daft, devil mind is unable to ignore the fact that Aziraphale is there.

Sometimes, it sends unhelpful thoughts his way. Like, you could touch his hand. Or, imagine feeding him popcorn- wouldn’t that be interesting. Or simply, there he is. He’s here. He’s with you. He’s chosen this.

About half-way through the film, Aziraphale starts with those sad sighing sounds, making woebegone eyes at the television- which tells Crowley that he’s getting peckish but doesn’t want to bother Crowley with it. So, Crowley casually announces that he’s heard there’s a good new Chinese restaurant around the corner, and Aziraphale brightens up again immediately. And they have to pause the film to choose what to eat, because Crowley reckons he might actually order something for himself this time, and Aziraphale ums and ahs about these things for hours anyway. And once they’ve ordered- over the app, thank God for avoiding human interaction- the food arrives, quite miraculously, three minutes later.

And once the food is gone, the film is almost finished. And Netflix seems to have decided what they should watch next, because it puts on the first episode of The Crown without asking them. Which they watch, although Crowley’s not really watching. And Aziraphale is complaining about the inaccuracies.

And at some point they end up sitting very close.

No. That makes it sound as if Crowley has no idea how they ended up that close. He knows exactly when this happened, because he hasn’t taken a breath since.

It happened like this.

They’re halfway through the first episode of The Crown, and Aziraphale has returned from the kitchen with a new bottle of red- a Pinot, this time- and he pours for both him and Crowley. Aziraphale has been sat on his own side of the sofa, and Crowley has been on his, draping his arms and legs wherever he sees fit. Now, as Aziraphale resettles on the sofa, he sits right beside him. The way Crowley is angled, his legs dangling off the arm of the sofa, means that he’s leaning in Aziraphale’s direction. Very obviously.

So he’s using all his (very little) core strength to keep himself sitting upright enough not to fall into his lap. Even if it would be very nice to let his head rest on Aziraphale’s lap. And even if he’d really like to relax a little bit and lean his shoulder against Aziraphale’s.

And for Heaven’s sake, it shouldn’t be an issue for a couple of six thousand year old beings to sit side-by-side on a sofa, and yet, here’s Crowley, having a crisis about it. It’s not as if he thought twice about pinning him against a wall.

Although he probably should have. That was a lot.

His eyes follow the way Aziraphale’s legs stretch in front of him, crossed over at the ankles. A little slouched on the sofa, shoes off. It’s about as relaxed as Crowley’s ever seen him.

“Why do you think they decided to make this TV series now, when the Queen is still alive,” Aziraphale remarks. It almost makes Crowley jump a little, so deep in thought that he’d forgotten time hadn’t stopped entirely.

“Whassat?” “Well, why do you think they’ve made the series now? It seems a bit-”

“Right,” Crowley says brain finally processing the question. “No- dunno, angel.” They both go quiet. Crowley’s hand grips the back of the sofa. The fear that he’s going to slip and lean against Aziraphale is too real. As nice as it would be-

Perfect. Miraculous. Wonderfully human.

-It would also be mortifying.

He can hear Aziraphale’s breathing. Slow. Precise and even, like he’s measuring out ingredients for a recipe. It makes Crowley’s mouth go dry with painful self-awareness.

“Do you remember,” Aziraphale starts quietly, “when you and I bumped into each other in Camden Town?” He takes a few seconds to pretend to think about this. “Yeah, ‘f course. Nineteen seventy-seven. What made you think of that?” Aziraphale shifts a little, looking at Crowley. Crowley doesn’t look back, watches the screen. If he turns towards Aziraphale, they’ll be-

“You were wearing that awful t-shirt.” That makes him laugh. A tipping-the-head-back laugh. “Oh yeah- my God Save the Queen t-shirt. Sex Pistols. Yeah, those were the days. Don’t knock ‘em, they were a good band.” “I’m sure they were.” “Don’t use that voice, they were. Anarchic music at its finest.” “I believe you, but bebop is still a little too baffling for me, I’m afraid.”

Crowley doesn’t expect it. He doesn’t know where it comes from- he thought he knew himself quite well at this point, but apparently not well enough. He feels something take over from out of nowhere. Rather, feels something erase everything else- a whiteboard rubber cleaning all the bullshit away.

And now he’s turned to Aziraphale without the babbling voice of anxiety in his head.

“It’s punk music, not bebop. And. I reckon you’d like it.” His voice is a murmur and his eyes are looking at Aziraphale’s lips. Thank Christ for sunglasses.

When he looks back up and meets Aziraphale’s gaze, he’s watching Crowley. Looking for something.

He feels his lips part, hears himself take a breath through his mouth.

“Oh, really?” Aziraphale asks weakly. A small quirk in one eyebrow.

“Y-” Fucking Hell. His throat’s all dry and he’s forgotten what words are. And now Aziraphale is definitely looking at his mouth. Fuck fuck fuck fu- “Yeah. You’re a rebel now, after all. Sort of. Breaking all those rules.”

“Yes,” Aziraphale replies in a whisper. Then, regaining his voice, “I suppose that’s true.”

“S- uh- mm- w- some of the songs, anyway, not all of them. You’d uh- h- some of them are a bit explicit than others and you’d probably not. Not get on with those ones.”

“Crowley��?” That’s all it takes. Thousands of years of keeping his feelings to himself and taking it slow, and all it takes is that little inflection in Aziraphale’s hushed voice. That hesitant request, draped over the sound of his name. Crowley leans in and presses his lips gently against Aziraphale’s.

There’s that horrible moment when it stops, and everything else seems to stop, too. The what next? hangs in the air and Aziraphale stutters a shaky breath against Crowley’s skin.

“Too fast?” is what Crowley ends up asking. Just to break the pause.

And then the most dazzling, drunken smile spreads across Aziraphale’s face. Brows knit together. An expression that looks a lot like “To the world.”

“No,” he half laughs, shaking his head infinitesimally. “For once, no. We… we saved the world, I rather think we deserve this.”

Something in Crowley relaxes, unhinges, collapses. It lets all the feelings free and they flood him till he swears he almost goes blind. And that is how they both end up falling asleep on the sofa, still wearing the days’ clothes and kicking off a tartaned blanket. Wrapped up in each other- starting this new era as they mean to continue.

***

Crowley wakes up and finds his head on Aziraphale’s chest. He’s splayed on top of him, arm hanging off the edge of the sofa. He feels Aziraphale’s hand, warm between his shoulder blades.

“What would you like to do today?” Aziraphale asks with a smile in his voice.

That is how it starts. They think of the things they were too scared to do together, the things that they never found the time to do together, the things they always liked to do together.

They go for a walk through Hampstead Heath, just as the weather’s beginning to turn- their breathes steaming in front of their faces as they walk. They haven’t been here since 1815. They both try to avoid the muddy parts and fail spectacularly. They make fun of each other for the mess they’ve made of their shoes. They begin by hooking their fingers together, until they’re brave enough to hold hands completely.

They go home and cook together. It goes disastrously.

“What are we doing today?” Crowley asks the next morning, when they wake up on Crowley’s sofa again.

They go to some hipster bar in East London- Tobacco Docks, it’s called. They find that there’s good food, lots of good booze and an ice rink- which Crowley absolutely point-blank refuses to go on until Aziraphale makes that wide-eyed, pleading face. They have a tipsy and very clumsy skate around the rink before returning to their drinks. Crowley’s better at wine than ice rinks.

“What are we doing today?” Aziraphale asks, when they’ve woken up in Crowley’s bed. His white hair against his white sheets. A new part of the landscape of his room.

They end up doing very little. They read together on the sofa and make tea. Crowley introduces Aziraphale to the best music ever created- disco, of course. They dance in the living room in bare feet and laugh till they can’t see through the tears.

“What are we doing today?” Crowley asks the next morning.

“What are we doing today?” Aziraphale asks the next.

They’ve saved the world, and that still seems surreal. But there’s waking up on Crowley’s sofa after a movie marathon, too. A dinner date, or a night in.

And that feels perfectly real.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #my writing #fan fiction #fic prompt

1K notes · View notes

colt-kaine · 2 years

Text

Colt’s Task 004: Back to Basics

GENERAL

FULL NAME: - Colt Kaine

AGE/DOB: - 150 (bitten at 30 years old. Born on February 15th, 1871

HEIGHT: - 6 ft

WEIGHT: - 160 lbs.

ETHNICITY: - Mixed: African American and some Native American

GENDER: - Male

HAIR: - Black

EYES: - Brown

SCARS: - A scar from a stab wound caused by a broken bottle underneath his torso on the right side, just under his ribs. Also, he has a scar from a gunshot in his rear end on the left cheek.

TATTOOS: - He has a tattoo on his forearm of an older looking feather arrow.

PIERCINGS: - None.

LANGUAGES: - English

EDUCATION: - High school.

OCCUPATION: - Guard at Le Bordel

SEXUAL IDENTIFICATION: - Pansexual

ROMANTIC IDENTIFICATION: - Demiromantic

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric/Phlegmatic: THE DIRECTOR | D-S (Choleric-Phlegmatic)

The Choleric-Phlegmatic combination is driven by two temperament needs. Their primary need is to get results. The secondary need is to accommodate others. Either need may dominate their behavior depending on the requirements of the situation. When the Choleric and the Phlegmatic natural tendencies are combined it produces a result-oriented person who is very determined and unemotional when attempting to accomplish a goal. The Choleric-Phlegmatic is more individualistic and unyielding than the other Choleric combinations. This combination is like a director because they naturally like telling others what to do. The Choleric-Phlegmatic is naturally a result-oriented, determined, unemotional, and focused individual. They have a strong, stubborn will, and they are independent and very individualistic. They have a firm, stoic expression (flat affect) on their face, and will rarely smile. They are not open, friendly, animated or talkative. They slowly build a few close relationships and will help only those they consider to be their friend. They are confident and may appear aloof. They want to be in charge because of confidence in their ability to make better decisions. They can be very direct, brief, and blunt when answering questions. They tend to be impatient, especially when instructing others; they dislike weakness in others. It is one of the least frequently found combinations.

MYERS BRIGGS TYPE: ISTJ- Responsible, sincere, analytical, reserved, realistic, systematic. Hardworking and trustworthy with sound, practical judgement.

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good- What is normally taken as pure good. You will uphold any righteous laws, but put morality and ethics above any human made code or law. You might serve a higher spirit, or be a knight. If you are working for an evil villain, chances are you either think they are good or are doing it due to blackmail or hostages.

SPECIFICS

FAVORITE FOOD: - Catfish anything (recently Catfish Parmesan).

FAVORITE DRINK: - Whiskey

FAVORITE BRAND: - None

FAVORITE PLACE: - The Rocky Mountains

FAVORITE HOBBY: - Having Sex? When he’s not having sex, he enjoys crabbing and fishing.

FAVORITE ARTIST: - Pablo Picasso

FAVORITE MUSICIAN: - None

FAVORITE TV SHOW: - He enjoyed Game of Thrones

FAVORITE MOVIE: - Any of the good classics. He liked Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

FAVORITE BOOK: - Classics, Western Novels, the occasional Romance Novel (in private).

FAVORITE SCENT: - Bonfire Smoke, any smokey scent

FAVORITE COLOUR: - Red

FAVORITE TEXTURE: - Leather

FAVORITE PERSON: - No one. Not anymore. Not yet.

RANDOM

LIST FIVE THINGS THEY LIKE: - Warm sunny days and crisp cool nights, restoring worn down clothes or shoes, woodworking or crafting furniture, working, sex.

LIST FIVE THINGS THEY DISLIKE: - People who display the characteristics listed in his turnoffs, forcible anything, when someone can’t take a hint to get lost, constant chattering about nonsense/repeating the same things over and over again, Brussel sprouts.

PET PEEVE: - Wet socks

PERSONALITY TYPES THEY PREFER: - Flirtatious, Respectful, Polite, Friendly. He likes the occasional slight sass.

PERSONALITY TYPES THEY AVOID: - Cocky, Arrogance, Sadistic, Disrespectful, Short Tempered, Ill-Mannered.

ACHILLES HEEL: - Love

LIST THREE THINGS THEY LIKE ABOUT THEMSELVES: - That he’s a noble man, that he has quick reflexes and sharp instincts, and that he is no longer a vampire.

LIST THREE THINGS THEY DISLIKE ABOUT THEMSELVES: - That he never went back for his family and that he secretly questions his own ability to be strong protector, there’s nothing he physically dislikes about himself.

FASHION STYLE: - He doesn’t have a set style perse, but he avoids bright colors or loud patterns.

LIST TWO SEX POSITIONS THEY PREFER: - Missionary, Bodyguard

LIST TWO SEX POSITIONS THEY AVOID: - Reverse Cowgirl (just because of the name) is the only one he avoids.

#ccitytasks #colt tasks #headcannon

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