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#the animation and lighting was too good for it to be bad
writersdrug · 3 days
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Simon Riley x Dog Sitter! Reader pt. 2
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Warnings: light cursing, light nsfw, Simon being the tiniest bit of a creep
A/N: so originally this was just a fluffy thought I had a few weeks ago... it's slowly turning into a longer, multi-chapter series, and Simon is a bit darker than I had intended him to be... but the story is still going to stay relatively normal (there will be full NSFW further down the line, lol)!
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Sure enough, Simon had emailed you by Tuesday afternoon. You noticed how... unprofessional it was. Not that he had been rude or obscene, but it was obviously written by someone who never had to write many emails for his career.
here is riley's routine. she likes walks, usually 3 or 4 a day. she eats one scoop in the morning and one at night. she doesn't finish her food all at once, but she'll come back to it. if you're gonna give her more cookies, just two per day. fill water every morning. around the house, if you could just dust and clean up any dog hair, that would be great. let me know if meeting me tomorrow at 0900 for the key works. I ship out thursday. thanks.
Simon.
You chewed your thumb nail, reclining on your couch with a confused expression. Was he irritated with you for some reason? He didn't show it at the interview if he did have any hostile feelings... you reminded yourself that he was a rather gruff man, and maybe that just bled into his written words, too. You rolled your shoulders and started working out your reply.
Hello Simon! Tomorrow works perfect for me, I'll be there by 9 am!
Does Riley have any favorite places she likes to go? Any particular spots or trails she enjoys? Also, are there any rules you have for her, like being on the couch? Is she ok going to the dog park? Lastly, does she take any medications I should be aware of?
See you soon!
You sent the message, sighing and dropping your head back against the arm of the sofa. You were honestly thankful that you'd gotten the job, even if Simon was a rather stiff client. You finally quit your shitty job, and while you did still have babysitting your niece and nephew, you never charged for that - the only time you were "paid" for it was when you took them out somewhere fun, and your sister forced you to accept money for the admission fee.
So this gig fell into your lap at the perfect time. And the fact that you had beat every other person Simon had interviewed made your ego soar. It wouldn't be a bad idea to make a career out of this, you thought.
Your phone dinged - you held it above your face, and saw that Simon had already responded. You sat upright and opened the email.
she only takes aspirin when her leg flares up. no more than twice a day. no favorite trails, we just go around the block a few times. she can sit on the couch, my bed too, but she'll need help getting up. no human food is the only other rule. never took her to a dog park, but if you really want to, that's fine. she's good with other dogs.
Simon.
You frowned. Walking the same block every day, multiple times each day, sounded awful. It wasn't even close to animal neglect, but you couldn't imagine walking the same route every single time. If it didn't drive Riley insane, it certainly would for you.
You read back over the email, your eyes lingering on "if her legs flare up." Simon had never discussed Riley having arthritis with you - and you sincerely hoped that was the reason she had leg pain, and nothing else. You made a mental note to ask him about it tomorrow as you began to write your reply.
Understood. Thanks again!
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"Here's the basement." Simon said, leading you down the stairs and into a dullish room. It had a cheaply-manufactured desk, what appeared to be a dining chair (not matching the dining set upstairs), a stuffed bookshelf, and some cardboard boxes filled with paper. A fan stood in the far corner, and next to it was the washing room. Much like what he had shown you of the rest of the house, it was bland and drab.
You looked around, letting out a polite noise of approval. Truth be told, Simon's life seemed awfully boring to you. Your mother had always told you that military men were always overly practical, in more than just home decor. They never cared much for the environment around them, as long as there was no mold, or anything similar. But you had never expected it to be so brutally true.
You knew he had a life outside of his home - from the way he described it, he was usually deployed more often than he was in his own home country. But you wondered - what did he do for fun, besides watch the telly? Did he have friends, and were they all like him? Any hobbies?
"If for whatever reason y' need to clean up a stain, you can find solution in there." He said, pointing to the washer room. "Other than that, nothin' much to see down 'ere."
You followed him as he trudged back up the stairs. Riley was sat upright on the floor, watching you and Simon move about the house with an observant expression.
"The only other things I'll ask you to do is hoover n' dust when it looks like it needs it." He said, leaning against the kitchen counter. "There really isn't much else t' do; of course, if you do see anything that needs fixin' you can always text me." He rolled his head from side to side, wincing as he worked out a crick in his neck. "Might not answer immediately, but I'll see it."
You nodded, standing in the walkway of the kitchen. Even with him leaning against the counter, muscles hidden under his sweatshirt, he was huge. For a brief moment, you imagined what he looked like on the field, dressed in his uniform and holding a gun - but you quickly shooed the thought from your mind before it had the chance to latch on and fester. "Gotcha. And just so I know, do you let Riley sleep with you?"
Simon paused in confusion before he responded. "Come again?"
"Like- you know, if I crash on the couch, is she allowed up with me?" You said, shifting your weight. You couldn't quite tell if Simon was irked by your question, or if he was genuinely confused.
He paused again. "Uh, yea, that's fine. If y' don't mind waking up covered in 'er slobber."
You laughed. "Nah, I'm used to it. A little drool never bothered me. Although, if I do need to wash up, am I alright to use the shower? Or would you rather I use my own back at my flat?"
Suddenly, it clicked in Simon's head. You were planning on sleeping at his house.
He had assumed you would just stop by for walks and meals - he didn't expect you to actually live here while he was gone, and he wasn't sure how it made him feel. He'd never had anyone else spend the night. Hell, no one ever visited, besides the rare occasions of the rest of the 141 stopping by. Even then, they never stayed for longer than a conversation or two.
But, once he took a second to think about it, he realized it might be better if you did stay - at least, while he was on missions. Riley would be bored out of her mind if she was alone that long, especially after spending the past several weeks with Simon constantly there. It would be good for someone to be there when he wasn't, and you seemed like you would be the best person for that, of course.
"Sure, 's fine." He said, rubbing the back of his head. "Just don't touch my shit in there."
"Don't worry about that..." You said quietly, "catch me dead and cold before I touch a 3-in-1 anything."
He chuckled and rolled his eyes. It was refreshing that you could handle his gruffness - most people treated him like a landmine, never wanting to say the wrong thing and set him off. You seemed to have taken life by the horns, like you weren't afraid to bite back at someone. He wondered if that was all for show, or if you really would snap back if he was to test you...
He pushed himself off the counter and reached into the drawer behind him, pulling out a spare key. He walked over to you and held it out. You were just about to take it, when he suddenly yanked it back.
You faltered. "Sorry...?"
"You lose this key..." Simon began lowly, "n' I'll frame you for murder. Understood?"
You gaped, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He didn't really mean that... did he? You waited for him to laugh and say he was just joking... but he never did. His eyes bored into yours so intensely, making you shiver, as he waited for you to answer.
"Y-yes, sir. Understood." You said, voice wavering a bit.
He grunted in satisfaction, then handed you the key. You let out the breath you had been holding, then cautiously took the key, before immediately attaching it to your lanyard. You didn't want to take any chances at losing it - not after Simon's threat. You took a deep breath and smiled at him, trying to dust the exchange off of your shoulders.
"You can come 'round tomorrow after o' nine hundred, I'll be out by then." He said, turning sideways to moce past you and heading towards the door. You followed behind and rubbed Riley's head when you passed her; she let out a contented sound.
"Feel free t' use the kitchen if you'll be stayin' overnight." He opened the door for you and leaned against it.
"Will do, thank you!" You chirped, hovering on the landing outside of his house, right were you were two days ago. "Thank you for showing me around - good luck on your- mission- deployment, thingamajig!"
He huffed. "Promise I will, luv."
Your spine tingled in response to his comment. Get it together, don't get your knickers in a twist over a client. You thought. You straightened your posture and cleared your throat.
"Well, see you around!" You said with a smile, then hopped down the steps to your car.
Simon waved, taking a moment to watch you pull out of his driveway. He shut the door and leaned back against it, exhaling slowly through his nostrils.
He was an observant man - he had to be, with his occupation. Your reaction to being called "luv" didn't fly over his head. And it's not like Simon didn't know the effect he had on women... he knew how he looked, how he presented himself, and he saw the reactions it got him.
But with you, something felt different. He saw your reaction, and a part of him wanted to chase after it. To see what you would do if he continued to apply pressure to your weak spots. Would you blush? Would you call him out? Would you drop the gig altogether?
He thought about how easily the word "sir" had rolled off of your tongue. He thought about how you would look, all tuckered out on his couch, donned in whatever pajamas you decided to wear, your face peaceful and expression soft as you slept - he imagined you in his shower, the room filled with warm steam and the scent of your shampoo, water hitting your skin as you-
Riley barked, making Simon jolt where he stood. She stared at him, ears turned to the side as she whined. She could always tell when he began to dissociate, and knew just as much as he did that it wasn't a good sign.
Simon sighed, running a hand down his face. "Get it together, fuckin' creep." He muttered to himself. "I need a bloody hobby, f' Christ's sake..."
He blamed it on the upcoming mission. He would typically stress about it beforehand, and if there was anything else that could occupy his mind, he would fixate on it. Right now, unfortunately, you were the victim. But he buried it deep down into his subconscious - it wasn't fair to you.
He pushed himself off of the door and headed towards the washroom, adjusting his crotch as he went. He figured he should at least tidy it up a bit, since you would be using it. The only other people who had been in there were Johnny and Captain Price, and of course, they never cared if there were trimmers on the counter, or if the mirror had splotches from toothpaste residue.
Hopefully, he'd forget all about you - at least, while he was on the mission.
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Taglist: @my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen @jisungswiftie @sweet-tooth4you @kennyis-aloser @hyyyxr @lahniu @dory-98 @naradae
Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!
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snvffsoda · 3 days
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headcanons for Ren, Strade, and Lawrence for how they are when driving! //bonus Celia!!
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certified passenger princess if not the one driving
confirmed by Gato he's an average driver, but has gotten a ticket for running a red light before (he was trying to get to an anime merch shop to buy a rare figure before it was sold out)
turns his AC up all the way, but will turn it down if asked nicely
drives Strade’s old car, it has a citrusy fresh smell, with a hint of Strade's cheap cologne forever permeated into the vehicle itself
cleans his car every couple of months or so, but does tend to throw and leave his trash in the back seat, usually consisting of old Monster Energy cans and fast food bags
sings loudly to the music he listens to when driving but does get self-conscious and stop when in traffic or is being watched by other drivers
tends to speed when driving, and doesn't notice when he does, like he's always in a hurry when he is at the wheel
has anime stickers on his car window consisting of his favorite anime girls he knows its a bit corny, but he’ll defend that decision with his life if told by someone it is
forgets to use his turn singles sometimes
hates the sound of cars honking or blaring during busy traffic, it irritates his sensitive ears to no need
wanta a motorcycle, but can't afford one
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better than Ren, but is still kind of reckless when he does drive
can and will drive over curbs and sidewalks when needing to make a tight turn
contradictory king, it comes to calling out other drivers mistakes on the wheel
listens to music extremely loud when he drives and doesn't turn it down when you're trying to talk with him
surprisingly takes very good care of his car, mostly to hold up a nice appearance to his neighbors, or to his unassuming victims who follow him into it
don’t touch his radio, he can and will get pissed.
acts like a dad when you turn on the indoor car light and freaks out about it
speeds when driving, notices, but doesn't really care
car sex, that is all.
named his car and speaks to it like it can hear and understand him
always knows some sort of back alley or sketchy shortcut to get out of traffic every time he's in it
will curse under his breath and sometimes go on mini rants about bad drivers when seeing them on the road or driving near them
can name almost every brand or type of car he sees when driving, definitely a bit of a car nerd deep down, but will never admit to it
has been caught drunk driving, but talked his way out of getting arrested by the cops and was let go scott-free
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doesn't even enjoy driving in general, it gives him anxiety, and would prefer to walk if given the option
keeps a blanket and pillow in his car for when he drives out into the woods at night he’ll tend to sleep in his car when he does
has one of those mini solar dancing flowers on his dashboard
the safest driver out of them all, though he does drive a little too slow sometimes
when alone, he’ll punch at slam at his steering wheel when overwhelmed or extremely angry
keeps a plant in his cup holder and waters it regularly
doesn't listen to music when he drives, but will get nervous when driving with someone else and turn on the radio instinctively, so as to not sit in awkward silence
has hot-boxed in his car before
keeps a can of mace in his glovebox, but has never had to use it
loves the sound of rain hitting his car window when driving, and loves to fall asleep in his car when it rains outside because of it
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passenger princess 2.0
Driving? you mean a limo?
jokes aside she's a decent driver, but doesn't like to drive herself places, but when she does, she usually gets where she needs to go without any trouble, that being said,
she's been pulled over for drunk driving many times, and has always paid off her tickets or bought a fancy lawyer to make all her DUI charges go away
never drives the same car twice
has argued and yelled with her husband Harold over the phone or with him in the car while driving and has received stares from passers-by before, she doesn't care though
does her makeup while driving when she's in a hurry or on a tight schedule, and is very good at it
honks her horn at bad drivers and flips them off when they pass, definitely the most outwardly aggressive, when driving out of them all
her cars are ALWAYS clean, almost unnaturally so
keeps a gun in her glove compartment and has never had to use it though stands by it that she does need it
has scratched her business enemies cars up, and threatened to run over her husband and the business associates she despises with her car multiple times
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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
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tanadrin · 8 months
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why is all paleoart so stiff and boring? like is it just 90% of what you see is cheap stuff commissioned to illustrate grade-school textbooks. or what? there's gotta be some paleoartists out there just killing it.
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artastic-friend · 9 months
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Cooking with BigHand DJMM
//TW for drawings of Blood and Dead Animals//
after seeing this post, and saw that Bighand DJ eats not only Venison (which is partly what my sona is) but also various birds XD I had to draw something about that.
Bighand DJMM belongs to @ntls-24722
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TW for Blood and slight gore after the cut
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later..
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It finally hit him lol
goofy lil guy I love him so much
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lil scrimble wimble skrunkle wunkle- lil sploinky sploog- what am I saying.. tumblr is corrupting me 💀/j
anyway.. dw, I don't mind him eating venison UvU I just thought it would be funny to draw this lmao
he can eat me too after I die I guess 💀 but only if he cooks me right 😤 /j
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kithj · 5 months
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fr how are there NO vampire rpgs that are actually good with cc and a fun story and that don't blow up my computer im losing my mind
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infizero · 8 months
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ok after listening to the english version of the death note musical....... unpopular opinion i think but i actually prefer the japanese version? dont get me wrong, with some of the songs i do think i might like the eng version more but..... idk i like the lyrics of the japanese version a lot more? and obviously i only know them via a translation but i know for a fact that the entire focus of certain songs are different between versions.
like in the english version of the game begins, L is talking about his strategy to track down kira. but in the japanese version, he's more so talking TO kira directly and saying that he's going to take him down from his "god" status to hell. or mortals and fools, which had a wholeee different vibe in the japanese version being called like a cruel dream. and uhhhh am i insane or was rem's song before she dies an entirely different song? cause in english it was like a sort of generic love song that was pretty chill considering the context, while in the japanese version it was this superrr melancholic and striking ballad she sang while floating around misa.
idk but i really do think i prefer the japanese version. but the og english version is good too!!! i really liked hurricane and the way it ends in particular
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it#its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul#crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to#say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to#let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to#physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill#somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes#energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating#and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make#work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics#so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while#i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation#rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all#the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals#like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too#but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them#if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she#works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology#i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying#at least i get to work with some culturs this week#unrelated
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"You know, in the theatre we have to examine the internal logic of all our actions."
Sir Charles Cartwright playing detective.
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undertheknightwing · 18 hours
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thinking about Gar Logan
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oatmealcrisp-freak · 2 years
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so much respect for kusuke lovers who don’t declaw their scrunklemeow “yeah he’s destructive and a creep and an overall low quality decision maker who’d crush me personally and I won’t apologize for him but i’m electing to make a decision to love this walking talking atrocity” yall are so strong i’m shaking my fist at people who are loving my anti-blorbo by erasing his sins
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tiredmaster · 2 years
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Honour Bound from the Death Note Musical has NO business hitting so fucking hard. The use of traditional instruments shows Soichiro is a traditional man who values work and family as he 'should do,' but also is conflicted over putting his family or work first. The use of light as a motif of what you 'factually see' vs how light can be manipulated to make you things that don't exist or how you can't actually trust what you see. His defensiveness, his sorrow, his hatred to L, and hatred for himself for potentially raising the very thing he wants to destroy. It's also such a calming but desperate song because SURELY Light can't be Kira!! Then him realising that even if Kira was Light, what would he do? Would he accept it? Would he keep denying it? Would he protect his son or the law first?
Also Soichiro kinda dilf in the musical ngl.
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I bring great new
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It look like we going to get a new light novel and it gonna be an adaption of the main event in the manga(or anime?)
So that mean we have to prepare ourselves when this come out cause the thing about bsd light novel is that they describe what happening(the characters, the emotion,etc) very good to the point that it make me want to curl up and cry (stormbringer, beast,...)
(But really though Iam gonna be so excited for this when it come out but then I realized I'm in another country so that mean I can't buy and read it T_T)
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bmpmp3 · 2 years
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a lot of anime opening single b-sides get kinda overlooked but Everyone Should Listen to the b-side of fabiniku’s opening Refrain this song has been consuming my mind for the past 48 hours LIKE listen to it
youtube
the weirdass white noise/ darth vader breathing noise in the beginning and the quiet parts, the jazzy drums in the verses, guitar riffs that will make any dad who listens to too much classic rock air guitar his heart out, the vocals at around the 3:20 mark, the fantastical synth melody, THE FLUTE ASS SOUND are you listening to me are you listening to the FLUTE? the WOODWIND INSTRUMENT in the ‘refrain... refrain... refrain...” sections and the DISTORTION on the “refrain“s in the final seconds LISTEN TO ME listen to the woodwind instrument
#i havent actually watched this show (i've seen a couple clips tho!) but 1) im a big fan of anison in general like#there's a bajillion anime ops and eds i straight up know NOTHING about but i just like the tune or maybe a seiyuu i like sings it lol#and 2) i HAVE read the manga (its fantastic) and i do this like weirdass thing#or maybe its not weird? it might be normal. getting me to watch a television show is an exercise in futility#so whenever im interested in an anime i just read the manga or light novel if there is one#and then i just... look up the music for the anime later JKFKDSLJFLKDS i like tunes!!!#in practice i usually get a similar or somethings even better experience than the anime watchers#but sometimes some animes source material is like REALLY BAD and the anime basically toned down everything that sucked#so a totally different experience in some cases..................... BUT luckily it seems fabiniku is not one of those#i thought the manga was great at least. i get it now. i understand isekais#i always understood modern isekais in theory but in practice i couldnt quite get there#i was too stuck in proto isekais like old shoujo manga isekais or early mmo isekais so this new reborn in another world style#confused me a lot. i figure it was just wish fulfillment that wasnt for me. but fabiniku... i understand now#who knew the way to get me to fully deeply and completely understand isekais was to make the main character lgbt (every letter at once)#actually that makes sense like i love characters that have clear defined identities a lot BUT#i dont connect deeply with them the same way i do with characters like tachibana hfkjdsdfjkds which is fine!! its good to have both#types of characters because some people connect more with defined labels and some connect more with ambiguity (me lol)#and both are always interesting to read about either way~#anyway. fabiniku is absurd and hilarious and has one of my favourite romantic relationships ive seen in a manga ever thank you and goodnight
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seychellse · 2 years
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“hurr hurr hee hee British ppl don’t know how to cook and their food is so bland bc they don’t know how to use spices even tho they stole em from the worl trolololol” Americans who have never left their country and have never read a single history book I beg you to for once shut Up. Abeg
#ENGLISH people have bland tastes bc they’ve always been working with a limited range of foodstuffs since time immemorial#colonialism and cruelty were only parts of the whole reason why the English were constantly importing foods from their colonies#NOTHING grows in that country unless out of spite#the ground is literally radioactive for fucks sake.#the soil quality is unbelievably poor and makes for TERRIBLE growing conditions of most crops except super hardy ones#along with the infrequent sunshine and constant rain and eternal dampness that persists year round#indigenous ​wild animals are also not a Thing and haven’t been for like centuries due to having been hunted to near extinction since#so ‘wild game’ is long lost to history and reserved only for environment-hating elites these days#plus: food over there has always been insanely expensive but even more so these days#you’re fucking Native you should know damn well about food deserts and predatory pricing#it is exactly as bad as reservation prices. except across the entire country - not just localised in certain areas#so many things wrong with your shit post disguised as a ~~~~joke~~~~#but the core problem is that you are a stupid fucking yank luxuriating in your own ignorance#and then having the nerve to pat yourself on the back and be all ‘woe is me’ bc ppl r rightfully calling you out for it. fuck you#hot tip: stay in your fucking lane if you don’t know shit#and don’t double down when yr ignorance and classism is brought to light maybe#im glad you turned off reblogs on yr stupid post bc u were rightfully getting cooked and you knew it#and yet yr bruised ego won’t let you actually delete it. grow up#I blocked the op of that idiotic post so he’ll never see this and good riddance for that. fuck him for real#plus any other idiot Americans who agreed with him. fuck all of you too I hope you lose access to all the foods you love forever#yelling and snarling
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