violence is its own mother. mother breast feeds fists. violence is a girl backed up against herself everything about her ghost everything bed.
when I leave home, it follows me.
— Joelle Taylor, from "the Unbelong," C+nto
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and the infinite
sadness you dread
and need so much of
for some reason
Franz Wright, from The Beforelife: Poems; “Nothingsville, MN”
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oh my god guys i know its more common than it feels but not having a childhood bedroom bc u moved around too much is so gutting sometimes. same thing w hometown and just all this Identity youre told you should have from being in the Same Place growing up and you just dont have it and going to the place you were born because your mom's family still lives there and realizing you dont fit and you would hate it if you stayed my god it is so isolating
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I need to have my Neil Young 1975-76 period where I live with questionable reckless abandon and nearly voluntarily self-destruct just to feel like a part of something then once its out of my system immediately turn around and get back to being my regular self with more certainty that it's actually who I am
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Love love love being me and thinking things are finally going ok only to get that good old slap in the face reminder that my mode of contribution to (work, community, art, family) is not preferred by the majority, that my contributions are both too little (lazy, “not connected,” inconvenient to accommodate) and too much (too loud, too wordy, too demanding, too uncomfortable), and that I’m the problem if I speak up or feel hurt about any of this (oversensitive, reading into things, misinterpreting)
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I want to leave, to go somewhere I should be really in my place, where I would fit in....but my place is nowhere; I'm unwanted.
~Jean-Paul Sartre
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“Please do not eat the Hakurei shrine maiden,” Yukari said, deadpan. “It's considered a major faux pas.”
Fic rec: UnmovingGreatLibrary's Teeth and Claws
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i almost made a post like "henry in every verse: which is the most outcast/misunderstood group so i can befriend them" but then it's like. it's not even intentional he doesn't seek out the underdog like, On Purpose, he just. magnetizes in that direction. he's just like this.
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@unbelong you are not ruled by fear, you are ruled by strength.
ylfa knew she was strong. her now hulking frame was used to shield the people she loved from harm. the wolfish features that made her less like herself also solidified her strength. no use in worrying about what was out in the woods any longer - she had become the thing to fear.
wide eyes peer up at omen. she had met witches before - timothy included - but he seemed older somehow. perhaps not as old or powerful as the baba yaga but something about him felt settled.
"what are you ruled by?" she asked.
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my dad is coming here for his birthday in late february, we will go skiing and drink champagne and gossip about his employers. then i'm visiting my parents together in louisiana during easter and i'm really excited. even though it's exhausting in its own way, i'm a lot more at peace with the things they did wrong (and yea, that i did wrong) during my childhood & adolescence. i just want to enjoy our time together, because i understand how limited it is and how hard they've worked and how much they've sacrificed to be the kind of parents that they needed growing up. anyway, in louisiana there will be gardens and humidity and the smell of cyprus
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there are girls who have nothing to eat but themselves their small spines flagpoles stuck into soft mattresses in Brixton bedsits all of our mothers are warnings.
— Joelle Taylor, from "the Unbelong," C+nto
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Relating to Hawke in a i fled my home too unwillingly and became a refugee of a place that didn’t want me and now I’ve got to deal with the consequences kind of way
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like ok. not to double post but i am going to try very very hard to be hopeful. the future is not fixed. this was a fucking horrible outcome and the consequences are and will be continue to be absolutely dire. but it is not permanent. things can change. this will radicalize people who will then use that energy to try to make things better. this will make people realize that we need each other and we are nothing without community and mutual aid and it will create networks of care and deepen the networks that already exist. the justices will die or retire and new justices will take their place and they may be just as bad or even worse but they also might be better. maybe we won’t even have justices. maybe this will be the breaking point where we decide (or really reach critical mass of people deciding) we aren’t going to live like this anymore and we look at what other countries are doing and how they fought to get there and we fight even harder in that same direction. these other cases are in even more jeopardy now but maybe they wont be overturned. abortions will still happen and maybe people will pursue careers and volunteer opportjnities to make sure that even in light of this they will happen safely. the future is not fixed. this is the middle of the story, not the end of it and not the beginning of it. idk
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@unbelong
the skies had soured into a grey. she watched the droplets of water fall slowly from the sky and dot the surface of the ocean. there’s a hum on her lips when she spots someone in the distance. melody can’t quite make them out, what catches her eye is the movement of the figures shoulders. indicative of a shiver or a sob she walks closer. she shrugged off her cloak before offering it to the other. “ it’s about to storm. i lived just right up the road - might i offer you someplace warm to dry off ? ”
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@unbelong warren sent: [ FOLLOW ] for sender to find receiver at the end of a trail of blood.
the floor is cold. everything is cold. the blood stains on her hands have long since dried and is now as frigid as the corpse before her, still tied to a chair. she doesn’t regret it. she does not hold remorse for any of the clients she has slain and she never will. but it does not mend the loneliness, or the ache, or the sting of loss still fresh upon her heart. sitting upon the ground, surrounded by a pools of blood and shredded entrails, she hugs her knees a little closer to her chest. there are so many more to kill. her list seems never-ending. then again, so is corruption and greed and all the horrible things which have made her into this.
magnolia does not immediately make any acknowledgement when she senses the familiar spirit there. but she knows he is. she is not surprised by it. when death surrounds her, he often soon follows. it is just the nature of things. ❝ here. for him? ❞ her voice is melancholic and soft. the words rest between an inquiry and an observation. he is clearly not here for her soul. he never is. maybe he never will be. tilting her head to the side, she rests her cheek atop a knee before letting her eyes wander up towards warren. she wishes it were her trail of blood spreading across the floor, leading to her body, leading to chilled flesh she wishes to be freed from so desperately. she draws in a breath before releasing it in a sigh. maybe when it’s finally her turn, he won’t even be there. maybe her death transition will be just like her life. alone. forgotten. unimportant. her brows furrow and her features harden slightly, refusing to look at the man she has just murdered even as she speaks of him. she refuses to acknowledge his ghost is even there. ❝ h-he. des-d-deserves. hell. ❞
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Q: WHO ARE YOU IN THIS HAUNTED HOUSE STORY?
A: THE TRAPPED SOUL .
Time is now a story told by others. Nix envies them, their freedom, their hope. Her existence is tied to this place, the beating heart of her tragedy and pain, her prison. She wanders those long corridors and some days, it becomes difficult to tell where this dreadful house ends and she begins. Nix cries out and destroys to remind herself that she is here. It's been so long since she gave up on anyone actually seeing her.
The only company you keep is your past, and oh how it follows you. You scream once more, a final test of your disappearance but— Oh! Did... did they just look at you?
tagged by : @batfall & @jokethur thank you both!
tagging : @nosferot, @shelassos, @thefixer, @arnieriley, @lobotl, @lenorest, @vampyrra, @w8ting, if you haven’t already, my ass is late !
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