#that. you were shoving ha aside to make room. I’m so fucking mad.
Text
She catches him in the kitchen, where he’d purposefully gone to escape her. Benny fishes through the fridge, shoving aside day old take out and expired condiments to find the good beer he keeps in the very back. The sort he doesn’t want to bring out for a party but still have access to in a pinch; like this. When he’s annoyed and in need of distraction, or just needs to be more drunk to navigate the situation. He snags the bottle by the neck and when he unwinds from his crouch, Daisy is there.
She smiles at him, which makes him so angry for a moment, he almost throws the beer bottle against the wall. But then he remembers its stupid local brew that he’d paid too much for. So instead, he hooks his teeth under the cap and pops it off. He slices up his gum a bit, but it doesn’t bother him too much because it makes her flinch. He spits the cap into the sink. It’s pink with the blood and spit.
Then Benny takes a long pull from the beer.
“Hi,” she says.
One of the worst things about Daisy is that no one is able to get mad at her. No one can bring themselves to tell her she’s not invited, or flat out un-fucking-wanted. So she slips into these sorts of things. Tags along after some girl who knows Mouse, or a guy whose friends with Xavier, or one of Lark’s running buddies. She knows everyone, fits herself in wherever she can. She makes friends. And then Benny has to deal with her, because none of those friends are able to give her the reality check she so desperately needs.
“What?” He asks in a clipped tone, limiting himself to one word. Someone comes stumbling into the kitchen, haphazardly grabs a bowl of snacks left on the counter and immediately leaves. Music plays from Lark’s terrible playlist in the background over the sound of peoples voices and Benny thinks about the safety of his room. People don’t go in Ben’s room during these parties. Off fucking limits.
Because Ben is the opposite of Daisy. People do tell him he’s not invited. People do tell him he’s unwanted; weird, strange, unnerving, creepy. People don’t get along with Benny—he doesn’t make friends. People don’t temper their words for his feelings the way they do for this pathetic fucking woman. They avoid him. Which makes this worse, because Daisy had noticed him when he’d noticed her and now here she was. Pointedly not ignoring him. Purposeful in finding him.
Daisy doesn’t like Benny, no matter how hard she’s smiling that big pretend smile of hers. It’s so artfully plastered on that it might have worked if he wasn’t Ben, who people disliked. Who learned early that sometimes people smiled at you, because they were actually just making fun of you all along.
“I mean, like, long time no see,” Daisy says shyly, tucking a strand of her glossy hair behind her ear. Benny takes another swig of beer, leaning back against the counter and staring at her with narrowed eyes. She’s short, just barely comes up to his chin. She curves into herself like she’s bashful, both hands around her solo cup filled with cheap beer off the keg. Her cardigan hangs big around her, emphasizes her petite frame. Benny remembers when she’d been dating Xavier, she’d not gone anywhere without being firmly around his arm.
Because Benny knows it makes her uncomfortable, he doesn’t say anything back. His sunglasses sit low on his nose, enough that when he tilts his chin down to stare at her, his eyes peek over the dark navy rims. She wears her discomfort bodily, tapping fingers on the cup, glancing at the floor, scuffing a ballet flat. She steps closer, though, because she knows she can get away with it. Daisy doesn’t respect personal space. It doesn’t apply to her.
“I just wanted you to know,” she begins by setting her cup down on the sink counter. “I’m like, really happy for Maran.” Benny stares at the cup, because he can’t stomach looking at her. Those big, docile eyes on him, water lined in pity. I’m so happy for Maran, it’s so sweet of him to perform charity.
He stops himself from telling her to eat shit and die by nursing the beer once more. It stings the cut on his gum.
“You know, I just—like—” She laughs in that girlish way, putting a hand over her mouth. It seems genuine, but it also feels like a trap. The hair on Ben’s arms raise, his eyes darting over her to look for an exit. Xavier to wander by and notice, or Lark to come in and start asking if he can order a pizza or anyone, to rescue him from this fucking girl. Instead she fishes into her giant cardigan, patting herself down.
“Like—I didn’t know Maran was bisexual, is all.” She finds it, tugging it smoothly out of an oversized pocket she hadn’t really needed to hunt for. There’s a little charm that dangles off of it, a duck. Screams of Xavier, like a gift from him he wants to snatch off. His hand is cold around the beer, slick with condensation. The blood mingles poorly with the beer. “He never told me.”
“Not your business,” Ben snaps out from a tightly wound jaw. Daisy puts her hand to her lips, upturned brows saying ‘oh no, am I being offensive again?’ without a real apology. There’s a painful knot underneath his sternum that keeps getting bigger and bigger, with everything he could say to this woman. Instead he rolls his eyes and shoves himself off from the counter he leans against. To let her get to him is to let her win, he knows that. But—Benny is competitive. He always has been. So when she lays the trap, it’s easy to get caught in it.
“Oh, wait, I wanted to,” she’s hopping around to keep him cornered, one of her delicate, slim hands help up as she smiles. “I have some pictures of him on my phone that I could send you? I mean, the safe for work ones.” Her teasing tone is meant to come off playful. Everything about Daisy is meant to be innocent or playful or sweet or demure or polite. And Benny feels gaslit by the whole fucking world that he’s the only one who sees it—the truth. Slippery offensive fucking snake.
Bitch.
Daisy lifts her phone, with it’s little duck charm and Benny is thinking safe for work ones when his hand shoots forward.
Benny hears her shriek but his ears are ringing. Blood stream heavy with alcohol that he should have stopped drinking an hour ago—head full of safe for work ones, the implication or it, the reality that those exist and—he can’t stop thinking of a story Maran had told him once. Couldn’t even consider it a story, couldn’t really consider it more than a passing comment that he’d barely said with his whole chest, had barely been able to sit with for too long; about his arm around her shoulder and her shrugging it off, because when they were alone, the affection seemed less important. He’s thinking safe for work ones and less important and then he’s throwing the phone at the wall as hard as he possibly can.
Which is very hard.
Music is still playing so the party doesn’t come to a complete dead silence, but it’s the closest thing. Except for Daisy’s immediate whimpering crying that Benny finds easy to ignore, no one’s talking anymore. And it’s not just Daisy that he’s ignoring now, but everyone. Shoves his way around the corner of the kitchen past someone asking him ‘what the fuck’ in that tone. There’s an awkward laugh that tries to fill the tension, and suddenly a warm hand around his elbow.
“Ben—” An easy, flat palm to Xavier’s chest gets him to let go before it causes a fight. But it’s also enough to make his attention shift. Back to where all the attention has shifted (just like she likes it, he thinks, just like she fucking likes it). Ben has a dizzying sensation of his heart being scooped out when he notices the silly bright pink shirt that Maran is wearing among the others that had crowded around Daisy. It’s a shirt he’d bought him, a bright white print across the chest that says I KISSED SASQUATCH IN WHITEHALL, NY. Had been so entirely unfunny that he’d had to buy it for him.
Couple sizes too big. That’s how Maran wears his shirts. Most of his clothes. This adorable too big style that hangs off him. Sometimes, he catches Benny, pulls his shirt over top of him, gets them tight together as a playful joke. Sometimes, Benny wears those shirts to bed because they’re comfortable. They smell like Maran; they smell soft and safe. Benny feels buzzing in his skull, watching Daisy put her slim hand in Maran’s, so he can help her up from the floor, where she’d picked up the little cracked phone. He hopes all her fucking safe for work photos are lost. That the little duck charm has snapped off.
“Easy, Benny,” Xavier is saying next to him, like he’s a wild caught dog they picked up out a back alley. Or a ball python that had slithered out it’s enclosure, gone rogue among all the party goers. A scorpion accidentally sleeping inside a jacket pocket. People stare at him, his skin itchy and hot, stretched tight over his bones. Daisy has wrapped her slim, pretty fingers around Maran’s palm. This is his fucking apartment, and people are still staring at him. Surprised. They shouldn’t be. He’s never done anything that should indicate he’s anything other than the kind of guy to smash someones phone at a party.
Benny doesn’t trust himself to say anything, but he shoves himself past Xavier’s concerned outstretched hands. If they touch him, he’ll scream. Cannot withstand that pitying patting to his back, so he goes for the door instead. He yanks it open and realizes the beer bottle is still in his hand, half full. He drains it in an easy swig and then throws that back into the party as well, to astonished yelling.
He’s going for the elevator when he hears Maran’s voice at the end of the hall. The party spills out from the apartment door, too loud. Business back to usual, monster out the way. Benny feels hypersensitive to that noise, bunching his shoulders up to his ears as he continues his hard stomp. His hands are flexing at his thighs, opening, closing, numb. Nothing could actually ever be loud enough to drown out the sound of Maran calling out to him. He wouldn’t want it to, but his boyfriends voice echoes that long beige hallway. Makes his shoulders jump.
Benny is prepped to hit the elevator button until the doors open. He dodges around the woman coming out, who gives him a wide berth and giant eyes, his stride unbroken.
“Ben! Wait—Ben—”
He regrets it immediately, but Benny’s fist punches the close door button. He glances up, just in time to watch Maran’s face fall, his outstretched hand retract, the doors closing him off from view. There’s a hissing sound as the shitty apartment elevator starts descending.
“Fuck!” Benny slaps his hand forward against the button for his floor. He slams at it, leaning against the panel. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He chants out, eyes screwed shut. Useless, because he knows it’s going to go all the way down to the lobby before it makes its slow crawl up. And by then, Maran will be back in the party—Benny doesn’t feel brave enough to go back to that fucking party. He sags against the button panel, forehead pressed tight against the wall. He keeps his eyes closed, as if it could help him erase the memory of Maran’s hand falling to his side as the doors closed.
Sad. Like, actually sad. Like heart broken sad, not pouting playfully for attention or sighing petulantly about something. Sad. Benny grinds his head to the wall. Hates himself. Hates himself so much.
He pushes off from it and then stands in the middle of the elevator. Hands go into his pockets, fiddling with the stack of cards that he keeps there. He’ll go for a walk. Cool off, slink back like the fucking loser he is, hide in his bedroom. Hope there’s less eyes up there by the time he gets back. Hope Xavier navigates Daisy out of the party. Hates him too, because he should be crueler to her. Like she was to him, in those little moments that picked apart his self esteem. Instead, like Maran, he’s probably talking her down. Telling her it’s okay if she stays for a bit. Monster gone. No more scorpion.
The doors hiss open and Benny takes a step out and nearly collides with Maran.
“Shit!” He yelps out, dancing to the side to get out of the closing elevator doors. Maran takes him by the hips, unconscious gesture as he pants, while they both stumble into the lobby of the apartment complex. He’s sweating, little beads running from his temples as he huffs, chest fluttering with the labored breathing. Benny blinks and suddenly feels the weight of how drunk he is. The world can’t stay still on it’s axis, tilts this way and that. A little ring in his ear as he looks at Maran.
“Why did—you—do that?” Maran heaves, his hands still firmly around Benny’s hips. Despite it all, they’re nice. Warm. He likes being held that way because it’s rare. People don’t hold Benny.
“Did you run down here?”
“Answer me,” Maran demands. A bead of sweat drips off his chin. A light in the lobby has blown, the other one continuing to flick off and on. It’s a shit building, should be torn down and put back together. A misshapen beast of two and three bedroom apartments crammed together into one long, tall building that probably never actually passed code. Benny rents it from a guy named Brock that lives in Miami, Florida. The rent gets paid on the first of every month through a money app on his phone.
Benny’s breathing is fast, like he’s the one who had been running.
“No,” he says swiftly and turns. Maran’s hands attempt to stay there (and even though he’s moving, he’s heading toward the exit, he wants them, he wants to be someone that gets held by other people) but eventually they drop because Benny is walking too fast. He shoves himself through the door, hip to the crash bar and stumbles down the concrete steps onto the sidewalk.
The neighborhood is just as alive as it is dead. He can hear an ambulance in the background, a group of cats yowling a street down. A car drives by slowly like it might want to pay attention to the scene, if there’s going to be one. Then speeds off when the driver glances enough at Benny. Scorpion. The night is cold and silent otherwise.
“Stop it, Ben!” Maran continues, his voice more authoritative than Benny has ever heard it before. And it actually works to make him lock in place, one hand in his pocket, the other frozen in his tangled blond hair. “What did she do?”
“She didn’t ha-have to do anything,” Benny sneers coldly. “I’m just an asshole.”
“No you aren’t.”
“You’re n-not paying attention if you think that.”
One of his favorite things about Maran (of which there are so many) is that he never holds in an expression; his eyebrows crease together, his soft lips purse and his chin tucks down. He looks half wounded and half angry. He looks out of place in his silly pink shirt, on the sidewalk, with Benny. And really, isn’t that the issue? Isn’t that the issue? That Maran shouldn’t fit in all the ways that he does fit—and it makes Benny so nervous all the fucking time that one day Maran is going to wake up and realize that. And Jesus, Benny is drunk. Head spinning, concrete feeling wobbly drunk. His mouth still hurts from where he’d cut it on that bottle cap.
“You’re better than that,” Maran seethes out furiously. He crosses arms over his chest, bumps himself closer until they’re standing directly in front of one another. The invasion of personal space should have the same reaction that it always does for Benny; he should shove himself away and lash out. Instead he freezes like a street animal come in to shelter, being offered a kind hand. Benny glares, mean and nasty with it.
“No I’m fucking not,” he replies hotly. “D-Do-Don’t do that.”
“Do—”
“That!” Benny yells, throwing hands up. “Don’t act li-like I’m n-not a fu-fu-fucking asshole, cause I am! You’re da-dating me, so get used to that.”
“We’re dating each other,” Maran hisses, gesturing between the two of them. His cheeks are dark red, the color inky over his nose. The furious blush extends all the way down his pretty throat. Benny has seen Maran angry before—it’s really not typical. At all. And they’ve had fights before, but this is cresting on top five, if not the top of all of them. Because the fights usually last only a minute and then it’s easy to find where the hurt started and go from there.
Fighting with Maran is easy because it never got to the fighting part really. The communication came easier. Maran, talking, sometimes more than he needed and Benny, silent, and listening to every single word.
But they’re drunk. Both of them—and Benny is hearing Daisy over and over and over in his head and he’s imagining her touching Maran’s arm, the swell of his bicep, imagining her mouth touching his, their tongues together. Imagining Maran’s dark hands spreading over her. Imagining her angling her phone to get a picture; sees her demure smile in his head, like a rotting burn mark. It makes his mouth taste sour, his stomach roll over.
“Why are y-you nice to her?” Benny accuses, taking his own step forward and into Maran’s space. The sidewalk feels small suddenly, closing in on them. The flickering street light makes shadows appear and disappear on Maran’s beautiful face. “She’s a fucking cunt, Maran.” And she hurt you. She hurt you, I get to hate her for that, she hurt you, he thinks.
“Stop acting like this—”
“And act m-mo-more like yo-your ex girlfriend?” Benny laughs but the sound is haunting in the silent night, on the city street, with the light flickering. “Maybe if I l-looked like Daisy and acted li-like Daisy, people wo-wouldn’t be so fucking confused when th-they see us together!”
And he yells it so loud it echoes. So loud the ambulance might hear him over it’s own loud screaming, so loud it startles the fighting cats into silence, so loud, he’s almost positive it reaches all the way to the upper floor where the apartment is. So loud Daisy hears it, so loud all their friends hear and know and see how embarrassing Benny is being, how absolutely ashamed he is of himself in that moment—but he doesn’t act ashamed. Instead, his shoulders are heaving because he yells it, because he’s so loud. And his pale face is flushed a dark red color that make his eyes look scary (because they are scary, he’s been told that since he was a kid) and Maran is staring at him, surprised.
Which makes it worse. Which makes it worse, because Maran is surprised that Benny can be so awful, which means that deep down, Maran thinks Benny is, as he said ‘better than that’. And Benny really wishes he hadn’t had that last beer.
“I kn-no—I kn-nn—” he folds both hands over his mouth, because he can’t get the word out. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back and looks at the sky, which is dark with no stars. No smoggy gray clouds, either. It is crystalline in it’s perfect black. I know, Benny is thinking,
I know people think you’re dating me for fun, to try something new, before you just find some other Daisy, but the next Daisy you find might treat you right, better than me. Then what? I’d have no excuse to be this awful. I don’t even have a good one to begin with.
“You can’t do that,” Maran replies finally, his hands balled up into fists. He fits them against Benny’s sides and when he does, they slowly unclench and turn to open palms that are suddenly cupping his rib cage. Maran’s eyes are dark and furious and the absolute lack of pity makes Benny dizzy. Maran is still angry, a wrinkle over his nose as his mouth grimaces, as his brows turn in. His cheeks red and splotchy with the emotion.
“Alright?”
“Do what?” Benny prompts softly. His own hands are still by his thighs. Maran’s hands move on every heavy breath, still holding.
“Well—don’t break people’s phones for one,” Maran says hotly, using his surprising, hidden strength to shake Benny slightly. Strands of his floppy, blond hair fall forward into his face and Benny thinks he’ll completely lose it if Maran touches him there—he can see dark brown eyes look at that movement, at those stringy strands. “Don’t—and don’t just—don’t hold all that in there, Ben—the hell, right? Please, talk to me about that. Right? Talk to me about that.”
And then Maran does exactly what Benny is thinking no don’t do that—he lifts a hand and brushes back Benny’s hair and Benny moves into that touch and then falls forward. His forehead lands on Maran’s shoulder—who makes a huffing sound, this cute little ‘oof’. His arms lift and slip around the other man’s waist and he crushes them together uncomfortably. It’s not sexual or even romantic, it is really just a hard, brutal squeeze of them together.
“She was talking about you,” Benny mumbles, face pressed into the curve of Maran’s neck and shoulder. He smells comforting, this mix of masculine body spray and laundry detergent and something sugary sweet—the drinks he’d probably been having all night. In that brief moment, Benny is reminded of how his blankets smell every single time Maran spends the night, which is so often he should live there (which is something Benny’s thought and not vocalized, because as is evident, Benny simply does not vocalize anything).
“Guess she can’t get over me, yeah?” Maran laughs, his warm palm spreading up the back of Benny’s neck, fingers tangling into his blond hair. It’s enough to nearly make Ben tremble. “What was she saying then—will it change my mind? I’ll go back, break her phone too? Make myself a hypocrite, Ben.”
You’re too good, Benny thinks in reply. His eyes are wet, which makes him too afraid to withdraw and look at Maran. Instead he wipes his face into Maran’s shirt, makes him laugh. Benny’s arms don’t relinquish and he wonders if he’s hurting the other man at all, but there’s no complaints.
“M’not pressin’ you, Ben—I just—sometimes you do things—sometimes you’re mean for no reason, right? And I don’t like that side of you all the time, but,” Benny’s glad they’re not looking at each other, because he cannot school his face into an expression that is anything other than deeply vulnerable and scared. “But, I really fuckin’ meant it when I said you’re better than that. Alright? That’s what makes me mad sometimes. Not you doing it, just knowing you’re better—you are. You’re so good, Ben, promise I’m not just saying that.”
The bruising force of Benny’s arms becomes hard enough than that Maran wheezes. Then he loosens all over, like he’s deflated of energy, his hands slipping to the backs of Maran’s shoulders, just to hold then. And to be held, which is nice. Because people don’t hold Benny, not like Maran is in that moment, holding him.
The reality of the moment is surreal, when he realizes they’re having a couples argument on the sidewalk, outside his apartment building. A real couples argument; that’s enough to make Benny sort of laugh, that high anxious laugh. He untucks himself from Maran just enough to look at him. Thankful to see a bit of tears in Maran’s eyes too.
“Baby,” Benny teases, wiping thumbs over Maran’s cheeks. “Baby, baby, baby.” He repeats, kissing each word to a part of Maran’s face.
“I’m still mad at you,” Maran manages, in a soft voice. There’s no heat to it at all.
“Sh,” Benny whispers, kissing him finally on the lips as well.
And then they really kiss. Really kiss, with their lips parted and Benny holding Maran’s cheeks and tilting him back as he bends forward to kiss him harder. Messy, with tongue, with hunger and apology and intensity and excitement. Maran’s hands still cupped around Benny’s ribs, tightening and gripping as he’s kissed like that. Really kissed. And when they pull apart to both suck in the cold night air, Benny is fumbling through his jacket pockets. Maran watches with big, gorgeous eyes until the keys to the mustang are located and then he’s smiling. Really smiling, really kissing, really, really, really in love.
—
It’s in the thin, yellow light of morning that they end up going back up to the apartment. The time where the world is still mostly asleep, day break just finally cresting through ugly, gray clouds. Maran looks good in the morning light, his skin tan and pretty. The light follows him, all through the apartment lobby into the elevator. Not for the first time does Benny have to pinch the skin of his inner wrist and remind himself this is all real and not a strange simulation he’s fallen into. Not the first time they’d stayed awake all night together, either.
It’s been a thing, even before Benny had kissed Maran—no. Maran had kissed Benny, in the pool, water rising up to their chins. Sometimes, he forgot that key detail that feels loud and important as they stand side by side in the elevator. He forgets Maran had kissed him first, had pulled him in. His brave fucking boy.
The elevator dings on his floor and he turns his palm outward to accept a hand that was already moving there. Maran laces fingers with him. Gives an adorable squeeze. Benny is unsurprised to find the door unlocked when they get there—if anyone tried to rob the apartment, they’d just run into two very angry, very capable twenty year olds waiting for an excuse.
Not that Xavier and Lark look threatening at all, on the couch together. Xavier sleeps on his back, arm thrown over his face, chest rising and falling. Lark sits, the long redheads legs thrown over his lap. Bundled deep in an oversized sweatshirt, his face barely visible, just enough for him to be looking at his own phone. His eyes are swollen and sleepy when they sway toward Maran and Benny. He raises a hint of fingers in greeting, then looks back to his phone. Xavier makes a sound like a car dying and then coughs and continues sleeping.
“I should ring Benji,” Maran says as they get into Benny’s room. “S’weird he’s not still here with Xavier, yeah?”
Benny cannot contain his laugh, a wheezing snort. He shuts the door harder than he needs to and turns to Maran. Plucks the phone from his hand and puts it down onto his messy desk. His flat palm pushes Maran down onto his messy bed, where the smell of him will linger all day long and Benny will find himself ignoring his essay, will put himself face down in the bed and maybe even fucking palm one out to the mere thought of Maran in this messy fucking bed.
Only now his thoughts are purely on sleep, as he jerks jeans from Maran and throws them to the side. As he pulls off his own and crawls over Maran. He plants kisses from elbow to shower, makes his sleepy boy laugh.
“The only th-thing you’re doing, for a solid six—at min, baby, six—is sleeping in th-this fucking bed with me.”
“Let me put the sound on, in case he needs me,” Maran says, hand fumbling for the phone. He manages to snag it, fiddle with his volume and then place it back. Benny, while he does all that, is already laying his tired, heavy body down, a hand tucking around Maran’s thigh and pulling a leg around his hip, because he likes to sleep just like that.
“I need you,” Benny thinks—and realizes in panic that he didn’t think it, but said it out loud.
Maran’s hand cups behind his neck, pulls him in closer. And they fall asleep, Maran holding him just like that.
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
clari!! hi!! how are you? i was just wondering, how would touya-nii react to reader being drunk off her ass? like genuinely drunk, not just tipsy? especially after a fight they had? would he punish her, or would he wait for her to sober up?
hi anon!! <3 i’m okay, how are you?? i hope you’re doing well <33 AH okay let’s get into it!
tw: toxic relationship (emotional manipulation + abuse), stepcest
alright so! if this were to happen within my AU, it would most likely happen somewhere between part one and part two of the main series, when she doesn’t actually know touya has a strict rule against drinking, and when their relationship is still new and developing! it’s highly unlikely to occur later on in their relationship: basically, if she *knows* she isn’t allowed to be drinking, if he’s already made this rule very clear, then there’s no way she’s going to purposefully and intentionally disobey touya-nii’s rule and be a bad girl.
as an aside just before we dig into this: i was just saying this to another anon but like as touya-nii and reader’s relationship further develops—and the longer they are together—the more controlling and possessive touya becomes. in the beginning, obviously he wanted her to be his, but he also regarded her as a toy and nothing else (which is why when those scary feelings of love pop up, and he feels like his whole chest is caving in as his heart cracks at the mere thought of her with someone else or of her disobeying him, he tries so hard to push them away, shove them down into his stomach and drown them in the acid) and thus wouldn’t be as hurt or as upset if she pulled a lil stunt like this, and would see it as more of a game than anything else—an opportunity to play with her and exert power over her and make her cry those pretty, pretty tears. tho interestingly enough, an incident like this is exactly what would make those scary, unfamiliar, vulnerable feelings flare to potency and proportions he's never experienced before + don’t make sense to him, and that would concern and terrify him. his own unexpected and strong reaction would frighten the hell out of him, and this may potentially cause him to come down on her a little harder than he normally would have, taking that extra anger that he’s feeling towards himself over his feelings out on her as a release.
ANYWAY to answer ur questions:
if it happened between part 1 and part 2: first and foremost, he would definitely wait for her to sober up; his mind games don’t work if her mind is this fuzzy and fucked up, and that’s no fun at all. he would, however, be extremely cold towards her as he put her to bed, and even blackout drunk, she’d be able to pick up on his mood, prompting her to be extra clingy and asking him what she did wrong and why he’s being so mean. he wouldn’t give her a straight answer, of course, instead responding with something passive aggressive like you know what you did or we can talk about that in the morning, sneering on his way out of her bedroom. he’d be sure to lock his bedroom door so she can’t sneak into his room in the middle of the night, so she has to stay in her own room and sleep alone, and that in itself is a form of punishment—the pre-punishment, if you will.
when she’s finally awake, coherent and sober, his reaction would be fairly similar to what i discussed in this ask, basically! he’d be cautious of going too far and would tread carefully in an effort not to blow all of his progress with her as he draws her further and further into his clutches, into his control. like i said in the ask i linked you to above, he’d mostly play on her insecurities and berate her for being such a bad girl, for going out and doing such bad things; even if she was mad at niichan and upset over the fight, intoxication is never the answer and he’s so disappointed. i do think that he’d act a little harsher, a little crueler in this situation than in the one i linked you to, raising his voice and shouting and slamming his fist against things (the table or the nearest wall) as all of the anger he feels for his haywire emotions bleeds through his pores.
his fury would only compound her fear, terrified that what she’s done is irreversible, unforgivable, and that she really is bad, right to her core, and he would fucking love this. because, to him, all of her terror and her tears and her desperate begging to be back in his favour, to be his good girl, proves to him that she will never do such a thing again; the thought won’t even cross her mind, and that alone makes it all worth it.
this technically pushes her further under his thumb and his control. she’s now going to question and second guess and over-evaluate all of her choices after this incident, asking herself if touya-nii would approve of the decision she’s about to make.
#tw emotional abuse#so yeah!#hopefully this makes sense i wrote half of this while i have half asleep and the other half today while my brain was mush hahaha#i do encourage you to read my response to that other ask tho if you want more details on his emotional abuse#and his tactics#i didn't just want to repeat myself here so i didn't include them in detail! but its pretty much the same thing#i hope monday is treating you well anon bb!! <3#stay safe n stay healthy!#touya nii universe#inky.bb#clari gets mail
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
What Is It With You? (Short Story)
I knew she was mad and she was operating on hurt, I knew that. I know right now all that went on was alot for her, particularly because this was someone she just loved, adored for so long and finally seeing him for what he is....it was a lot. Of course she was upset, she was hurt. I understood it. She was pissed, she was betrayed but...she didn’t have to shove me away. Matt wasn’t the only person hurt. I know she cared for him above most things, except maybe a few , but she just...I always felt that she had it out for me. Like she never liked me. Jenny told me that it wasn’t that and sometimes she was a bit mean but, I didn’t think that was true. She was mean to Nick...in a flirty way, I swore. She was mean to me in an angry way. Like I disgusted her completely.
I wanted to check on Matt to make sure he was okay and she shoved me aside and pushed me out of the locker room. She told me to leave and not bother him. That he’s been through enough as if I was the one who hurt him. As if I’d ever hit him. She threw an ice pack at me for my arm and told me to screw off before probably going back to fussing over Matt. I was in the hallway more like in a daze of what the fuck even happened. Everything was such a blur. I went into my locker room and Jenny was there. I know she heard the commotion and separated herself from the situation as fast as she could and I didn’t blame her. It was a fucking mess. Our only saving grace was that Adam wasn’t there because Matt getting hit was one thing, but if it was Adam, she’d flat out have gone to jail. There would be a body bag on the premises. He was lucky in that aspect.
I went to Jenny and she got up and hugged me, which I needed. Again, so much happened. I was hurt, pissed, nothing positive whatsoever.
“Kenny, your arm...”
“Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Punk’s friend bit me. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.”
“Getting bitten by humans can be dangerous, Kenny. Bacteria and all that. We should take you to the doctor or something.”
“I...yeah.”
“Kenny...are you okay? I mean well..obviously not but...”
“Dreama hates me and she proved it today. I was going to check on Matt because Punk hit him in the face and she tossed me out of the locker room.”
“Wait..why?”
“I don’t know? Probably because I was existing. She hates my face. Who knows with her. You said it yourself, sometimes she just hates people just because and I’m one of those people.”
“No. I...I don’t think that’s it.”
“What else could it be? I almost feel stupid even wondering about that when I got bit by a grown ass man. Let’s just go to the doctor. I guess I’ll text Matt in the morning.”
“Do you want me to talk to Dreama?”
“No. There is no point. If anything, it'll only make her dislike me more.”
____________________________
“Oh, has anyone seen Kenny?” Matt asked once we had gotten to the hotel. I didn’t even trust Dreama to tell my brother the truth. How she threw him out and told him to screw off. She thought no one saw her but I did. Saw her and heard her. I felt she should just accept what it was. My brother liked Kenny. He liked him alot and she seemed to hate it. I feel it’s because she cared for him so much. She didn’t want him hurt but also...a lot to do with things that went on with AJ. She refused to see him go on that same path though my brother and AJ were two very VERY different people. She was ruthless to him and I texted him just to check on him and he seemed really hurt. She was never really nice to Kenny either. I swore it was because Matt liked him. She just didn’t want to think of them being anything in case he hurt Matt or if Matt lost his shit like AJ did which he’d never do. “I was really worried. He got bit in the arm.”
“He’s fine.” Dreama told him. “He went to get it checked out then went with Jenny to the hotel.”
“Oh... I hope he’ll be okay.”
“He’ll be fine, Matt.” Dreama told him, patting his face. She always treated him like a child despite him being older than us both actually. He didn’t seem to mind it. She’d brush his hair for him and tell him how cute he is and help him pick out clothes and stuff. She adored my brother, she always did but also that adoration made her very...protective. Tonight showcased that in spades. “I think you need to rest.”
“Yeah, tonight was quite long.”
“You want me to get you something from the store or something?”
“No thanks. I think I’m going to take a nice bath then I’m going to bed. Tonight was...eventful.”
“Oh, alright. Well feel better.” She smiled at him before kissing his forehead. I rolled my eyes. Shit like this used to make me quite jealous but now I just pity him at this point. He lets her do this. He lets her treat him this way and revels in it. I didn’t understand why. I didn’t want to eiter. Hell half the time I didn’t even want to be around her. At least it’s what I Told myself. Kenny and Jenny and well Adam knew the truth. I felt bad for Adam as he did like her so much I almost wanted to ask him why seeing as she was so...herself. I understood why I liked her, but him...then again...maybe he saw what I did. Poor guy. “Nick, we should give Matt time to rest. I am a bit hungry. I saw a Tim Horton’s...”
“And...you want me to buy you food?”
“Yes.”
“Well if you say please. I might.”
“Nick.”
“Manners will get you far.”
“Nick...”
“Do it. You brat.”
“Fuck you.”
“You’d like that.” I stuck my tongue out at her and she glared at me. If only they knew....if only they knew. “Fine, let’s give Matt time to rest. If you need us, you can text us.” I told him as he climbed onto the bed. “Are you sure you’ll be fine?”
“Yeah.” Matt nodded his head. “You two have fun.”
“We will. Feel better.”
“I’m going to try to be.”
_________________________
“Matt, left me a text.” Kenny showed me his phone. “He just wanted to know how I’m doing, if I’m feeling better. I asked what he’s doing and he said Dreama and Nick went to Tim Horton’s. Surprised she didn’t want to stay and baby him. I guess climbing on Nick is more important.” Kenny said almost in a bitter tone. I know he was mad at her and I didn’t blame him. Not at all. She was my best friend and I knew how she tended to be. Nick and I once discussed why she was mean to him and it made sense but still. Matt was an adult. Point blank period. She couldn’t just run his life though it seemed sometimes he let her just do whatever. “That was quite rude.” Kenny shook his head. “Poor Adam though. He likes her. She likes Nick, Nick likes her. So does Adam. I almost want to know why.”
“Oh guys always seem to flock to her. That’s not new.”
“She’s very...something. I don’t want to speak bad of her, but I just...Iknow Adam thinks she’s so great and Nick adores her and I just....and I know she’s your bestie and Matt likes her too but she is so...”
“No..I get it. Hey, if she and Nick are out, you should go to the hotel. Go see him. He clearly seems to have wanted to see you.”
“And risk her coming back and seeing me. Ace Steel biting me won’t be the worst thing to happen to me tonight.”
“She wouldn’t bite you.”
“How do you know?”
“She just wouldn’t. Tell you what I’ll go with you. You’d be surprised how she’ll act if I’m there. She tends to act a bit better if I’m there.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want her mad at you for hanging out with me.”
“She won’t be. Trust me. If she tries to be...I can handle her.”
“You seem so confident.”
“I’ve known her for some time...trust me...her little threats and what not don’t bother me.”
______________________________________
“Oh? Kenny. Jenny. I didn’t expect you guys.” Matt opened the door. Dreama and Nick were nowhere to be seen whatsoever so the hopes of her not coming in were kind of high. She tended to get sidetracked whenever she and him went out and they disappeared for hours on end doing who knows what. She often told me she couldn’t stand him but I’ve seen them hold hands before and backstage they tend to act liek a couple, they just get mad at each other a lot, mostly her at him and him egging her on. Adam had no idea where he stood with her and as much as I hated to tell him, she probably has something going on with Nick. Adam was so sweet and well meaning and that was his issue. She tended to prefer people who ticked her off and Nick was just that. I was hoping she’d not come in for once. I wanted Kenny and Matt to actually get to talk and if she came in, she’d do everything to prevent it. “I didn’t mean you should come over tonight. I meant tomorrow once it’s not so late.”
“Well I brought some donuts and stuff. Help you feel better.” Kenny smiled at him and I saw Matt blush a little bit. “May we come in?”
“Oh..yeah sure.” Matt moved out the way letting us in. I sat my bag down and opted to sit in the chair by the door and Kenny put the box of donuts on the bed and placed the drinks on the table. “So Nick and Dreama haven’t come back?”
“No. Probably making out in Tim Horton’s in front of everyone.” Matt shook his head. “Or something else alarming. “ He sighed. “In truth I’m kind of happy they left. I think Dreama needs time to cool down. She’s very mad and I understand it, I do but she is just...I’m glad Punk left before us because she was just...it wasn’t okay. I hope Nick is keeping her calm. I know they claim to hate each other but I think , more like I know they REALLY like each other. Despite how much she likes Adam, I think Nick makes her happy. They kiss from time to time.”
“Do they?” Kenny looked at him. “But I thought she really liked Adam.”
“She does but she really likes Nick too. It’s complicated.” Matt sighed as he went to get a donut and took a bite out of it. “These are really good.”
“I got them from Tim Horton’s down the block.”
“You did? And you didn’t see them? That’s where they said they were going. I guess they went elsewhere.”
“Probably saw a late night strip mall or something and went shopping.”
“Probably” Matt chuckled. “Kenny, are you okay? I saw a little of what happened. Ace bit your arm...that’s ridiculous. The whole night was. Me getting hit and Punk throwing a chair at Nick and then you getting bitten. I can imagine the repercussions are going to be heavy. I just wish it didn’t happen but he’s the one that wanted to talk and we were going to talk and he just...what a piece of shit and what a shitty situation.”
“It really is.” Kenny shook his head “But I’m sure we will be fine. After all, we didn't start that fight. Hell we barely escalated it. After awhile it was just defense and everyone that saw it would tell people that. I just the more I think of it, the more I just....it was so unnecessary. I have to ask how Dreama could tolerate him like she did.”
“It seemed she started to really dislike him as time went on. He broke her heart pretty badly and I think it messed with her more than she likes to talk about it.”
“I suppose so.”
“I just hope she’s okay. You didn’t see her when we left. She was beyond mad. She almost punched Christian for checking on her. He was just wondering if she was okay and she was ready to go for blood. I almost feel bad for inviting her to the ppv. I know she wanted to come but...”
“That’s not your fault.” I said. “No one knew Punk would be such a dick. I mean he was always one but we never expected all that. I’m sure she had fun...up until then...like you said she’s out with Nick, she’s probably unwinding and calming down or....tossing Nick in the river. Whichever comes first.”
“Yeah there is a lake not far from here.” Kenny pointed out. “You sure letting him hang out with her alone is wise, especially when she’s mad?” He looked over at Matt who shrugged. “Well, I’m sure he can handle himself.”
“He can.” Matt said as he grabbed another donut. “You guys should stay over. It was a rough night, I’d like to be among my friends and what not for the evening if I’m honest.”
“Well I...”
“That would be perfect.” I cut Kenny off. Dreama would just have to deal now. “It would be good for us to all be together. It was rough as you said.”
“I just hope Dreama and Nick actually come in tonight. I really want to know what they are doing but part of me just doesn’t want to know. Not remotely.”
“Let’s just hope it’s not illegal.”
“Even if it is, I’m sure she’d find a way to get out of it...Nick...I’m not too sure.”
________________________________
“This lemonade is bitter...just like you.” I commented as I handed the cup back to Dreama. We ended up in the park after going to Tim Horton’s just hanging out. It was nice. She was calming down and I almost wanted to talk to her about the obvious elephant in the room, about why she’s mean to Kenny. I wanted her to admit it. I was willing to risk our rare calm moments just to get to the bottom of that issue.
“It’s good though.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. It is good, it’s just bitter. Like you.” I tapped her nose and she wrinkled it at me. Sometimes she was kind of very cute. Sometimes I felt myself growing more attached to her. Sometimes.
Most Times.
“You seem calmed down now. I hope so at least.”
“I just needed to walk around it seems.” She sipped lemonade. “It was wild tonight.”
“It sure was and you...you were quite mean to Kenny. I saw you shove him out...”
“Nick....”
“I know you have never been nice to him but that was just.. I think I know why you did it. You worry for my brother but I am here to tell you my big brother is a big boy and he can handle himself. I know you want to protect him, I get that but....he likes Kenny and trying to keep Kenny away is not it. I’m just saying. One day Kenny is going to tell him how mean you are to him and Matt will be upset.”
“It’s to protect him.”
“From what? Kenny or from him becoming a ho?”
“Both.” She crossed her arms. “Kenny is nice, Jenny adores him. He seems great but I don’t want Matt to get hurt. Frankly I don’t want anyone getting hurt around me anymore. I feel bad enough for Adam as is because he likes me so much and he’s so sweet and I know damn well I’ll just hurt him.”
“Do you even want to go out with him?”
“I did. I really did. He’s such a sweetheart...but...”
“But what?”
“I don’t know. I guess some asshole got in the way.” She looked up at me. “It’s obvious as is, isn’t it?”
“I suppose.” I told her a bit surprised she somewhat told me she liked me like that. “I guess I’ll tell him your choice unless you want to.”
“I think I will though I think he suspected it. He asked me many times about it and I just...he’s such a sweetheart.”
“And I’m not?”
“You are a menace.” She shook her head “But...really caring for your brother. I.. get what you are saying. I do. Kenny doesn’t seem horrible, I just...am scared. AJ got his heart broken once and he went on a slut binge.”
“Luckily Matt isn’t AJ.”
“He isn’t but...”
“Tell you what , if Kenny hurts him in any way, I’ll let you beat him instead of me doing it.”
“Okay.” She smiled at me and leaned against my shoulder. This shockingly went better than I thought it would. I took the lemonade from her and sipped it before making a face.
“It’s still bitter.” I told her. “But I guess...I just like bitter things.”
______________________
It was going on 4 am and Dreama and Nick weren’t back. Matt had fallen asleep leaning on Kenny who had his arm wrapped around him, lying on the bed. They were truly so cute. Matt had the smallest subtle smile on his face, seeming just so comfortable with him. Kenny was nodding off and frankly so was I in the chair when the door finally opened. In came Nick and Dreama, holding hands. Oh, well...I guess..something went on.
“Hey Jenny.” Nick looked over at me. “Oh, they are sleeping?” He said immediately lowering his voice. Kenny was still semi awake but Matt was out cold. “Nice of you two to visit.”
“Aw..he’s holding him.” Dreama said as she looked at the bed “That...is kind of very cute.” She commented before looking at me. “Hey Jenny.”
“Hello.” I waved at them both. “So..what is going on over here. Hands being held and all.”
“Oh...that.” Dreama turned bright red. “Well...”
“I made this brat my girlfriend.” Nick said and she looked like she wanted to punch him in the face. “Oh come on, you were so lovey to me in the park. Kissing me and what not. You are still a brat though.” He teased her. “We had a long talk though. I think...she’ll be a bit calmer.”
“Yeah?”
“A little. I guess if Matt is happy.. I mean look at him...he’s so cuddled on him...I can’t be mad. Kenny just...better not hurt him.”
“I doubt he would.” I looked at her. “But I do think you should apologize to Kenny.”
“Right..I...”
“You know she doesn’t say sorry.” Nick shook his head. “But I’ll make sure she does.”
“How?” I asked...a tiny bit curious.”
“Don’t worry...I have my ways.”
0 notes
Text
I am so mad about how they characterised Viv this season. Unforgivable.
#she was such a good friend last season! and now she’s throwing Jackson Under the Bus at every opportunity. it’s not right.#not to mention I truly believe her new boyfriend and her conniving attitude were 100% to distance her from Jackson to make room fr new love#interest. it’s like they weren’t even friends anymore.#and by the way the worst thing about this fandom is that y’all refuse to acknowledge how much they were setting up Jackson and viv for#a romantic relationship. and it could’ve been great. they were honestly a lot more compelling than Otis and maeve and Eric and Adam#they were quite honestly the relationship to root for.#and MISS ME WITH THAT ‘IM GLAD THEY R SHOWING THAT MEN AND WOMEN CAN JUST BE FRIENDS’ BULLSHIT CAUSE I KNO U WLDNT SAY THT IF SHE WERENT FAT#like the best relationship to keep platonic is Otis and maeve if we’re all being clear glass best crystal WINDEX transparent#she knows Jackson’s history with pressure and yet she swoops in to take something that means a lot to him away.#I just refuse to believe she would care more about a teacher than a friend#like sure keep the relationship platonic be fatphobic Whatever but you knew what you were doing when you assassinated vivs character like#that. you were shoving ha aside to make room. I’m so fucking mad.#now even if they pursue that relationship later on(they won’t) it won’t be good cause they fucked up vivs character this season#sex education#jacksonviv#writers of that show r cowardlyyyyyyyyy#she speaks
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
❝𝐏𝐔𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐃 || 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒❞
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Summary: The prank goes wrong— or does it?
Warnings: Cursing, fluff, angst if you squint
Marvel Masterlist || Main Masterlist
The Avengers— also known as the Earth’s mightiest heroes. Saving not only their home planet but the rest of the universe as well, saving humanity from evil politicians, aliens, Gods, mad titans, and the likes. Sacrificing their lives and their freedom for the betterment of the world but when these heroes find themselves on one of their well deserved breaks the so called Earth's mightiest heroes turn into absolute children especially a certain birdman who drags a brooding hundred year old super soldier along with him.
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Sam.” said Bucky who was sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen of the compound.
“Don’t be such a grandpa, Buck. She’ll be fine, worst case scenario is she punches us both in the face.” Sam rationalizes as he readies the items in front of him.
“We shouldn’t be messing with people with their biggest fears, birdbrain.” the brunette shoves the man beside him as he hesitantly looks around the area.
Before Sam could argue back with Bucky they heard footsteps heading towards their direction and as if the gods were listening to Sam’s prayers— you arrived.
Bucky internally groans as he watches you walk towards them with a neutral look on your face. The super soldier wanted to take you away from the area or tell you to start running— he didn’t wanted to be involved with Sam’s stupid pranks, knowing very well this specific prank was for you.
“Hey boys.” You greeted them as you reached the kitchen.
“Hi, Y/N! How are you? You okay?” Sam asked.
Turning your attention to the man in front of you with a confused look on your face from the sudden question, you asked, “Are you? Cause you’re acting weird, Sam.”
“I’m amazing actually, just having a little chat with Bucky over here.” He said patting Bucky’s back way too hard.
“Oh— uhm, I actually want to talk to you, Bucky.”
Bucky’s ears perked up hearing your sweet voice making his heart beat two times fast, he feared that you would hear it.
The super soldier has been harboring his feelings for you for years now.
You were his first actual friend once he first arrived at the compound, well aside from Steve, you were always there for him. You would help him deal with his nightmares until he had none, you would help him with his worries until he just stopped worrying, you helped him find and love himself until he started to find courage and started loving you.
It was always you and him.
You told him everything— from your demons to your biggest fears, which for some reason Sam found out about.
Hence this entire ‘pranking our teammates’ plan.
“Sure, let’s talk in your room, doll.” said Bucky hurriedly as he places his hand on your lower back leading you out of the kitchen.
“Wha–”
You were cut off by the feeling of something dropping on top of your head.
Halting your movements you looked towards the two who looked guilty as ever and then everything clicked.
These idiots will pay.
The thing that fell on your head started crawling it’s way down on your face making you yell in fear.
A. FUCKING. SPIDER.
You swing your head around, shaking it out of your hair.
“GET IT OFF OF ME! BUCKY! SAM! PLEASE!”
Tears started to well up your eyes, your heart pumping abnormally fast, blue wisps of cosmic energy starting to form all over your body.
The two men jumped into action the second they saw the wisps forming around you— desperately trying to remove the spider off your head.
And before they could, you used your telekinesis to grab the ugly looking creature before pulverizing it to dust with a cosmic beam.
Silence.
“Y/N I told him it was stup–” Bucky says slowly walking towards your now shaking form.
“You were in on this?” you asked the brunette who was now holding you close to his chest.
Bucky looks down on your face noticing every freckle that adorned your cheeks also taking note that you were full on crying.
“Doll I–”
“I’ve been having such a shit day, James.” you stated coldly.
Bucky visibly winced from you calling him James. You never call him by his first name— it’s always been Bucky or Buck or a cute pet name you make up.
Still hugging onto your waist, Bucky shoots daggers at Sam who was watching from behind you as he cradled your head with his vibranium arm.His gaze would’ve probably buried Sam six feet under if it could.
“I woke up late for training earning me one of those stupid speeches about time management from Steve. I’m having stupid fucking period cramps, I haven’t eaten anything all day because I needed to finish my stupid mission report because Fury needed it immediately, Oh– don’t remind me of those stupid trainees—” you were cut off by Sam butting in. “What happened to the trainees?” He asked, invested in the story only earning him a glare from the two.
“What happened, doll?” Bucky asked softly as he pushed strands of your hair that was sticking on your face.
God, you're beautiful. Bucky thought as he continued to admire your face.
“Nat, Wanda, and I were training those stupid stupid stupid trainees when we heard a couple of the girls giggling like school girls in the corner.” you said trying to calm your breathing now meeting Bucky’s eyes before continuing.
“They were talking about how hot you are and how they're gonna find a way to ask you out. That made me furious, only to realize I can’t be mad cause I have no right to be— So I came down here looking for you to tell you I liked you only to be greeted by spiders because you two thought it would be funny.”
With that Sam immediately made a run for it— silently moving away from the scene, leaving the two alone.
“Y–you what?” Bucky stammered at the revelation.
“I like you okay and by how my day is going you probably don't feel the same way. Now, I just ruined my friendship with you. I’m so patheti–”
“Don’t fucking finish that sentence.” Bucky growled. His eyes soften at your teary doe eyes and your quivering pouty lips.
“I like you too, baby. Heck I fucking love you, Y/N. My day starts and ends with you and only you. It has been for two years now, ever since you said hi to me the first day I came here— doll I was hooked, and about the prank, I told Sam it was a bad idea but he didn’t listen to me.” He cups your small face in his large hands making you lean closer to it.
“You do?” You asked with a pout.
“I do, baby. God, I do. Please forgive me, I’ll do anything to make you forgive me.”
“Anything?”
“Anything, gorgeous.”
It was a sunny Saturday morning and Sam and Bucky were chasing after a white ball of fur who was running around the compound.
Bucky scoops the little thing to his chest before falling on the couch next to his friends with a sigh.
“I can’t believe you got her a cat, Barnes.” Sam growled plopping right next to him, making the rest chuckle at their state.
“I can’t believe you thought it was a good idea to prank a mind reader with cosmic powers.” Bucky retorted back, reminding them of their mess up— they had forgotten you had the ability to read minds, you knew about their plan the moment you stepped foot in the kitchen— deciding to play fire with fire and using it as an advantage.
“You’re lucky she killed the spider and not you two.” Steve chuckles as he shakes his head.
“Pine-pine!” you squealed as you bolted towards the lounge area taking the white fur ball out of Bucky’s grasp before sitting next to the super soldier.
You cradled the cat towards your chest like a baby, wiggling your fingers in front of its face, giggling in the process.
Bucky however did not regret buying you a cat, no matter how hard it was to deal with— he loved the smile it brought to your face being with Alpine.
“Look at him, he’s whipped. No hesitation on buying a cat whatsoever.” Sam said the group of heroes as he watched the two in disgust.
“If you didn’t decide to give her a heart attack she wouldn’t have asked for it now would she.” Bucky clapped back at Sam making you giggle at the both of them.
“She would’ve still asked for the devil cat at some point— and what did you get in return, huh?”
“A girlfriend, Wilson. A girlfriend.”
dividers: @cafekitsune
𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @wishing-a-dandelion @eliza5616 @lostyx @barne-twin @sergntbarnes @thelastpyle
ೃ⁀➷ comment or message me to be added to the tag list :)
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ SUBMIT A REQUESTS AND ASK ME ANYTHING!
: ̗̀➛ requests are always open ♡
-𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲ఌ
#bucky barnes#comics#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky fanfic#bucky fic#bucky x female reader#captain america#bucky fluff#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky angst#marvel#marvel mcu#mcu fic#sebastian stan fanfiction#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan#steve rogers#steve x reader#steve rogers angst#steve rogers x reader#stevebucky#stucky x reader#stucky#the avengers#chris evans x reader#chris evans
842 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello, may I please ask for yandere headcanons for Childe, Diluc, Kaeya and Zhongli walking to their fem darling mastrubating and moaning their name please?
Whenever I read Zhongli, I just hear him say his name in my head and get reminded of why I even started this game. Geo god is my weakness smh... Thanks for requesting!
Rated Lemon
»»———————— ♡ ————————««
Childe
♡ Ha, what an exciting turn of events this is, in Childe's opinion! So far, you two either fought upon him coming home, or you played along in his sweet fantasy of a good home life. Who'd have thought you'd do something so lewd while he was away, especially with him on your mind? This is thrilling to him since you always push him away and pretended to be disgusted by this man. It's another fight he won without you even realizing the battle you were in. Childe doesn't even bother wiping off the bloodstains on his face, simply dropping his jacket and shawl as he stalks over to you. Even if you crawl away, he pulls you back by your ankle, caging you underneath him before taking a deep breath, the excitement having made his heart beat just as fast as when he's fighting. "Missed me?" he asks, kissing along your neck and shoulder, tearing the blanket you tried to cover yourself with from you without care. Wandering down your body hungrily with his mouth, you have the chance to resist him, but no push or yell will make him want to stop. The only plead that will go to him is if you ask him to shower first instead of putting someone's blood all over you, finally making him stop to think about it for a second. But a teasing grin on his lips follows as he gives you the, "Ah, ah, ah! You're just trying to hog the fun all to yourself, aren't you?" Sliding up again, he'll give you a cheeky kiss before the smile abruptly vanishes as he looks you up and down with hungry eyes. He kisses you again, deeper this time. Passionately and fierce until you feel the sting on your lip where he bit you. "Only do those things with me, you understand? I'm not just your enjoyment. You are mine."Next thing you know, you're left with a bleeding lip and a tongue between your legs, and he won't stop until you beg for him to fuck you, only spurring him on more by repeating his name over and over throughout the night.
Diluc
♡ Diluc is certainly interrupting something here, but it’s hard to tear his eyes away. He’s lucky enough not to be immediately discovered by you, but when he hears his name from your lips, it’s over with his composure. Growing red in the face, he looks away for a second, only to hear shuffling in between the fabrics as you finally spotted him. Perhaps it was the soft gasp he made or the sudden movement of hiding his face behind his hand that drew your attention, but it’s already too late for both of you. Damn. As if you knew how hard it was for him to keep his hands to himself, you looked even more desirable than always, barely clad and breathing heavily. He didn’t even do more than kiss you on the forehead in your sleep, and here you were, pleasuring yourself with his name on your lips? Do you have any idea what this would cause in him? Diluc can’t speak, but he also can’t move. The right thing to do would be to leave, but he really doesn’t want to. “Need help?” he asks, eyes shooting up only for a split second before ending back at the wall, and he takes a deep breath after having caught your horrified but heated gaze. If you say no, he’ll hesitate for a moment before leaving with a disappointed, “Alright,” finishing the business building in his pants in his office instead. But if you give him even a second of hesitation, he’ll be more than glad to assist you, finally having the chance to experience you wholly.
Kaeya
♡ Ah, if only he had known that you were awaiting him so eagerly, Kaeya would have put his work aside and called it a day earlier. He’s not even mad--how could he? You are moaning his name, after all. All these tiresome discussions and arguments in which you assured Kaeya how much you despised him, truly seem pointless now, and he won’t let you even start another one anytime soon without reminding you of the way you were sprawled out on his bed, greedily thinking about him with your fingers inside of you, even though you say you ‘hate’ him more than anybody. Kaeya must have left a pretty good impression on you after all, huh? He’s not shy to waltz into the room proudly and loudly, clapping and chuckling after seeing the show you put on for him. But even if you try to immediately cover yourself, he’s just a bit faster than you, hand firmly locked between your legs which you try to close, cold fingers tickling your heated skin. With his grin shoved into your face, it’s not long that Kaeya tries to kiss you, one hand between your shoulder blades keeping you locked from turning him away, as he promises you to be very thorough tonight, so you have enough memories for the next time. “I’ll make you scream for me some more, Darling~”
Zhongli
♡ Now, Zhongli didn’t mean to bother you while you were so busy playing with yourself, but he does think he should have priority over it now. Then again, he also stood outside of the sliding door for the better of the last few minutes, just listening to your moans and gasps, knowing better than to enter. Just, when you said his name, he couldn’t restrain himself anymore. This isn’t a part of the contract you two have, but you were practically begging for him to find you like this, inviting him inside. And so he did, standing in front of you now, letting his hand fall on your head where tears of embarrassment pool in your eyes. There’s still so much more to learn from the humans. To experience as an ex-deity. So maybe this was meant to happen. Petting your head, Zhongli assures you he isn’t mad, but you might have to ask him from eye to eye if you want something from him. “Leave me!” isn’t an option, though, and he’ll be quick to change his tender strokes to a tight grip at the back of your head. “Nicely. Ask me nicely,” he demands, and you know he doesn’t mean for you to ask him to leave again. “Repeat my name.” Oh. Zhongli does so enjoy when you obey him finally, seeing this as something that doesn’t even need a contract to work out well. After all, you both will have a significant gain from it, and he’ll gladly let you undo his belt and show him these things you imagined privately, for just one more call of his name.
#Zhongli#Diluc#Kaeya#Childe#Diluc Ragnvindr#Kaeya Alberich#Tartaglia#zhongli genshin#diluc genshin#kaeya genshin#Childe genshin#tartaglia genshin#yandere zhongli#yandere!zhongli#yandere diluc#yandere!diluc#yandere kaeya#yandere!kaeya#yandere childe#yandere tartaglia#yandere!childe#yandere!tartaglia#Genshin#Genshin Impact#yandere genshin#yandere genshin impact#yandere!genshin#yandere!genshin impact#yandere#yandere imagines
436 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can I request some poly! Shigadabihawks x reader if you don’t mind. You have amazing writing and you have written some amazing poly! I don’t care if it’s sfw and/or nsfw, it’s totally up to you. I honestly kinda wanted to see how hawks and Shigaraki got along in a poly relationship and how they interacted with each other because I can imagine how Dabi and hawks get along or dabi and shigaraki but hawks and Shigaraki would have a odd relationship, y’know. Sorry if this is odd and you don’t know what I’m talking about and I just want you to know that I absolutely love your work. You’re the first person I check everyday when I get on tumblr. 😘
Awwwww!!! You are so sweet, thank you so much!!! Yeah this makes a lot of sense, for the demon au especially I’ve been trying to work on showing off the dynamic between Hawks and Shig. I hope headcanons are okay!
| SFW
- Before you enter the mix, Dabi is really the only holding them together. He started off dating Tomura (who still insists he barely even likes him, usually after they finish making out) and then later Kei joined in. You’re still not sure how it all came to be since you get a different answer depending on who you ask and what mood they’re in.
- Tomura is only a bit tsundere with Dabi and Kei, never you. With you he’s more openly clingy and would never deny how he feels. He wouldn’t say it, but he appreciates you being around whenever Dabi and Keigo make him feel like a third wheel. Keigo has some similar experiences, but he’s just genuinely not bothered whenever Dabi wants to go have some solo time with Tomura. Or you, for that matter. Just isn’t the jealous type.
- They like using you to fuck with each other. If you’re hanging out with Dabi there’s a good chance Keigo will come along and just flat out steal you. Just pick you up and walk off. Because he can. Dabi is fond of teasing Tomura about how much he likes you, despite clearly also liking you. Tomura’s go-to is usually also to steal you, however he likes to get you to come willingly so you’ll blow off whoever you were with to start.
- Keigo and Tomura get along best when teaming up to irritate Dabi. Whether it’s playing keep away with you, hiding his stuff, distracting him when he’s trying to brood and do Dabi stuff, they really enjoy the power of their combined effects on him.
- The three of them teaming up to irritate you is what really gets them cooperating. They’re all gremlins, they steal your clothes to force you into skirts with no panties, they move your stuff around so you have to ask them for help, and that’s without getting into how often they fight over you, although that’s not so much to annoy you.
- Dabi developed a little habit of calling you, Tomura, and Kei his sluts and now he does it no matter who’s around and it’s really embarrassing but he absolutely does not care.
- While most of the time it’s Dabi and you holding Tomura and Keigo together, it’s not uncommon to find just the two of them off by themselves bonding over a common interest or even occasionally making out.
- They each have their own rooms, but you don’t. You bounce between theirs and your stuff is always scattered around. Yes, it’s annoying. No, they won’t let you have your own room. The four of you typically end up sharing one bed anyway, although the room itself changes.
- They’re not shy about the relationship, so it’s fairly often you get teased (albeit lovingly) about having three boyfriends. Toga really likes trying to force you to pick a favorite.
- Everyone thinks it’s creepy. Everyone. But Kei started calling you their “little girl” and just never stopped.
- They don’t really do PDA between themselves aside from the odd hand holding or rare peck on the cheek, but when it comes to you all bets are off. You’re constantly perched in someone’s lap or holding a hand or having your clothes fixed by someone else. To everyone else it mostly looks like they toss you around.
- Sometimes they’ll take you on dates, switching between doing them one on one or with the whole group. It’s hard to get Tomura to go out, though, since he prefers stay at home dates. When he’s not feeling it you’ll usually end up in a blanket fort eating takeout all together.
- One time. one. time. some stranger muttered “slut” under his breath when he saw you walking along in public with them. Dabi charred his ass so fast the other two were pissed at him for not being able to get a hit in.
- Despite all of them being gremlins, they really love you and will 10/10 go out of their way to make sure you know that. Literally anything upsets you and the immediate response is “Tell me why you’re not happy and I will kill it.”
- Most of their more genuine affections are shown in little things they do. Keigo likes to get you guys things, especially snacks he knows you like since he can go in public freely. Dabi is constantly fixing your clothes and hair and making sure everyone’s comfortable. Tomura always touches you softly (outside of the bedroom), always brushing his fingers along your cheeks or resting his head on your shoulder, etc. He’s also the most likely to casually touch the others in public.
- When it’s cold everyone piles up on Dabi and he pretends he hates it, but you always catch him smiling when he thinks no one’s looking.
- Kei loves using his feathers to tease everyone, slipping them under clothes before you can stop them or making them flit around your face. It’s annoying but his laugh is so cute you can’t even be mad at him.
- Tomura’s face always lights up before he can stop it when one of you comes to play videogames with him. He’s really bad at hiding how excited and happy it makes him.
- Since you’re the only girl and they’re kind of sexist, they treat you a lot softer than they treat each other. Doesn’t matter how strong you are, they’ll always think you’re weaker and they need to protect you. It might not seem like it when they’re teasing the hell out of you or tying you up or spanking you, but they go way easier on you than they would on each other in the same situation.
- Literally any sign from you that you’re seriously upset or overwhelmed? Done. No more. Only soft affection and very mild teasing for the week.
| NSFW
- The first time Kei joined in while Dabi and Tomura were fucking, he didn’t even participate. He just watched like a fucking creep. Still does that occasionally.
- They all have relatively high drives and absolutely no shame between each other, so it’s pretty often you’re just casually getting fucked in one of their rooms while another sits on the couch beside you and watches TV. May or may not comment on it.
- Sometimes they’ll make bets about you. See who can get you to cum the fastest one week or try testing how long it takes for you to come to them when they don’t initiate it and which one you pick. How much cum they can stuff you with and plug up before it starts leaking out. And so on.
- It’s very different if it’s just one of them, or if it’s two and which two, etc.
- Dabi likes to manhandle you. He takes his time, makes you wait and beg and then just completely destroys you for hours on end. After, he sits back with a cigarette and lets you cling to him while he strokes you and tells you you did a good job. It pleases him when you’re so fucked out you can’t form full sentences, and he’ll tease you for it for days.
- Keigo is similar in that he likes to tease, but he’s also sadistic. He’ll make you cum on his tongue and fingers until you’re begging him to stop and then he’ll force at least two more orgasms out of you on his dick. Afterwards he watches you twitch and leak his spunk for a minute before giving you god-tier aftercare. Runs a bath, gets you some water, etc. Once you’re clean he encourages you to take a nap, but it’s usually an excuse for him to take a nap because he’s also worn out but trying to hide it.
- Tomura gets too excited to tease for very long, but that’s only directly before the sex. He’ll have his hand shoved in your panties just toying with you for hours while he absently scrolls on his phone. Sometimes he’ll have you get yourself ready where he can see, only to completely ignore you until you let him know he can start. Once he’s going, though, he’s done with all that. He’s drooling, panting, flushed, pounding you into next week. He alternates between kissing you and spitting in your mouth because he’s too wound up to just pick a mood most of the time.
- That’s not to say you don’t have lots of times where it’s intimate and loving, but that’s not really the usual.
- The Dabi/Tomura combination is the more nasty of the three. Kei isn’t opposed to doing stuff to make you squirm when he’s in the mood but Dabi and Tomura l i v e for that shit. They’re almost nightmarish together, 100% okay with piss, impact play, period stuff, all things anal, etc. Of course you’re their girlfriend and they love you so they’re not about to do something that has you screaming or crying for real, but if you’re at least mostly okay with it and they’re confident it’s not breaking you, they’ll do pretty much anything. Anything to get you teary-eyed, begging them to stop, etc. as long as you’re not saying the safeword. For aftercare they’re very gentle and soft as they clean you up and put you to bed. Doesn’t matter what time of day it happened, they’re putting you in bed and snuggling you until you get at least an hour of sleep. When you wake up they’ll get you something to eat and make sure they didn’t hurt you beyond the usual cuts, bruises, and assorted mild scorching.
- Dabi and Kei usually go for more of a good cop/bad cop sort of arrangement. Doesn’t seem so bad until you figure out they switch the roles without any indication of having done that. It’s like they have a sixth sense for it or something. You’ll be crying and clinging to Keigo since he’s been nice so far only for him to bend you over his knee and spank you raw for it; meanwhile Dabi has gone from smacking you around and spewing filth to cooing and stroking your face. Their aftercare is mostly praise, they’ll tell you you did well and make sure you’re okay mentally since some of the stuff they say can get pretty intense. They’ll get you cleaned up and make sure you eat and drink water, and they’ll cuddle as long as you want and won’t go anywhere even if you fall asleep.
- Tomura and Keigo are the most interesting mix. It’s not often that it happens, but when it does they work surprisingly well together. Their different types of degeneracy and patience seem to blur together into a lethal combination that’ll have you getting whiplash from how they toss you back and forth. They’re not usually both participating at the same time; someone has to hold the camera, after all. Aftercare usually consists of a shower, snacks, and either you napping on their laps while they game together or joining in if they didn’t rock your shit too hard. On days when they’ve done this, you’ll notice the two of them interacting more and occasionally taking some time to be alone together…
- When it’s all of them you’re fucking in for it. Depending on the mood it can vary wildly, but for the most part it’s just a complete mass of writhing limbs and moans. You’re tired ten minutes in, more of the focus is on you than anything, you’re forced to cum over and over again, they each cum in or on you at least twice, and when it’s all said and done you’re covered in sweat, cum, possibly blood, and three sweaty, spent bodies. Usually after they have to peel your limp, half-conscious body off the bed and carry you to the bath. They’ll take great care of you, not that you’ll really remember it in your sorry state, and when you wake up the next day they’re more doting than usual. They’ll tease a little about how you’re sore and still just a little out of it, but that doesn’t mean they’re not checking on you and being extra attentive.
- The times when it’s all of you together but in a more romantic way, it’s like being surrounded by pure love. Everyone’s kissing, you’re all tangled together, it’s just really soft and intimate. Doesn’t last as long, but it’s insanely sweet and gooey. When finished, there’s lots of soft caring/cleaning up/cuddling for a while but it doesn’t have the same insane recovery time as usual. After everyone’s taken care of, the guys like to try pretending everything is normal, but it’s obvious they’re more clingy than usual. Definitely all sleeping together in a pile on nights like that.
- Sometimes one will join in just for aftercare. Kei enjoys seeing you a fucked-out little mess, so he’s always happy to help if it means he can see you destroyed for a minute first. Dabi likes the feeling of being needed and being able to care for someone, so he’ll help, especially cleaning you up and getting you dressed. Tomura loves the way you cling after, and likes to cuddle and nap, so he’ll come in late to the aftercare just for that.
#shigaraki x reader#hawks x reader#dabi x reader#shigadabi#dabihawks#shigahawks#shigadabihawks#shigadabihawks x reader#shigadabihawks smut#poly shigadabi#poly dabihawks#poly shigahawks#dabihawks x reader#shigadabi x reader#shigahawks x reader#poly shigadabihawks#shigaraki#hawks#keigo takami#dabi
808 notes
·
View notes
Text
Desperate Measures 2
Warnings: nonconsent and rape (miniseries); stalking, fear, intimidation, fingering, toyplay, fuck machine, control, overstimulation, cock ring, oral
This is dark!Steve Rogers and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: At first, you think it’s a joke when you get the strange messages, but when they don’t stop, you realise too late how real it all is.
Note: Okay, here’s the last half!
Thank you. Love you guys!
Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
Part 1
I can't let this, I can't let this go
When I got you right where I want you
I been pushing for this for so long
💌
You put your to-go box in the fridge. Your appetite was all but gone after the encounter but Eva barely seemed to notice as her gushing went from the unexpected cameo of America’s hero to Ray again. Another argument meant she was holding out to punish him but you knew it wouldn’t last. She was already incessantly checking her phone.
You sat as she took selfies on Snap and shared them in her passive aggressive way. You knew this dance. She’d keep going until she got a reaction. You took your own phone but hesitated before you lit up the screen. It unlocked as it registered your face and the number over your inbox made you wince.
It was like a story in itself, the unanswered text bubbles lined the rectangle; ‘where’d you go, sweetheart’ to ‘what’s wrong?’ to ‘I will find you’ to ‘you better answer me, sweetheart’. You could almost hear them in Steve’s deep tones and it made you shiver. The phone suddenly vibrated and sent another wave through you.
‘Seven tonight. I’ll meet you in front of the bar,’ the message said tersely.
You lowered the phone as Eva searched for better lighting and angled her phone around as she pouted. You watched her and the phone buzzed again. You looked down at the next message.
‘You answer me, sweetheart.’ Still all you could do was stare blankly until you felt another jolt, ‘either you come to me or I come to you.’
The threat was clear. It wasn’t just about you. He knew you were at Eva’s and you had no doubt he would break through any obstacle between you. You saw him sitting across from you in the restaurant, felt the way his eyes bore into you.
‘Okay,’ you texted back. It was all you could handle.
Eva giggled and flopped down on the sofa, “oooh, Ray is so mad.”
“Uh huh,” you murmured as the heart emoji popped up on your screen.
“I sent him the pic I got with the Captain,” she smirked, “he’s so jealous.”
“Do you two ever stop?” you rolled your eyes and set aside your phone.
“Babe, he might be a jackass but the way he serves--”
“Say no more,” you pointed your thumb down your throat, “please.”
💌
Eva was gone before seven. You were thankful that you wouldn’t need to explain yourself to her but disappointed nonetheless. You walked the block down to the bar and stood by the corner of the low wrought iron fence that lined the busy patio. You held your phone in your hand and hugged yourself with one arm. You felt sick and numb.
You felt a light touch on your elbow and spun. Steve smiled down at you as he wore a ball cap and dark blue jacket.
“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” he said, “I got a bit held up--”
“Why are you doing this?” you asked, finally finding your voice.
“Sweetheart,” he warned as his lips straightened, “I don’t like to be interrupted.”
“I don’t understand,” you hissed, “I just don’t. I don’t know why you’re doing this.”
“Why I’m doing what? Why I love you? Sweetheart, you need to be better to yourself and if you can’t do that, then I guess I have to,” he tickled your cheek with his fingertips, “are you hungry?”
“No,” you crossed your arms as he glanced over at the patio, “please, just stop. Leave me alone.”
He closed his eyes and his jaw tensed. He swallowed and his hand dropped to your shoulder. His thumb rubbed your shoulder through your light cardigan.
“Don’t be like this,” he said, “after all I’ve done for you. After--”
“I never asked for any of it,” you croaked.
“You interrupt me again,” he squeezed your upper arm and leaned in, “and there will be consequences.”
Your eyes widened and you gaped up at him. He grinned and dropped his hand to take yours. He drew you away from the hedges along the fence and walked you down the street.
“Since you’re not hungry, I guess we can just go home,” he tugged on you as you dragged your feet and you stumbled to catch up. It felt as if he would crush your hand as he stopped by a sleek car and reached into his pocket to unlock it with a chirp, “sweetheart,” his tone was grizzly as he exhaled in frustration, “I don’t like this. This isn’t you.” He opened the door and loomed over you as he lowered his voice to a whisper, “be a good girl.”
He nudged you into the car and you sat heavily as he shut the door with snap. Your hands shook as you turned your phone over and hit the emergency call number. Before you could hit the nine, he was in the driver’s seat and ripped your phone from your grasp. The doors locked with a loud click.
“What do you think the police will do for you?” he growled as he started the car, “do you think they’ll believe you? You think they don’t have a record of all the crazed fangirls who ever followed me around?” he scoffed and reached over to slap your thigh, “buckle up…” he lifted his hand and stroked your neck, “we don’t want you getting hurt, do we?”
You slowly pulled the belt over and buckled it. You were trembling so much it took several tries. You let out a brittle breath and sank back against the seat, “no,” you said quietly as you glanced out the window.
“Good,” he said as he drove with one hand still on your leg, “I only want to keep you safe.”
💌
The walk-up looked like any other on the street. She iron railing along the concrete steps, the faded brick, the frosted glass slats of the front door, and the twisted metal numbers just above the mailbox. Steve walked behind you and kept you trapped between him and the door as he unlocked it.
You entered if just to get away from him and he calmly locked the door as he followed. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it with his cap on the hook along the wall. He waited and crossed his arms as he watched you expectantly. You hesitated and pulled off your cardigan. He took it and draped it beside his jacket.
You froze and stared at the shoe rack. There were several pairs of women’s shoes in the cubbies and the hooks not only held his own jackets, but at least two meant for a female counterpart. You took a step back and peered around. Your blood turned to ice as you saw yourself smiling back from a photo; a picture printed out from your social media.
“I’m still working on some things,” he said as he followed your gaze and adjusted the frame on the hook, “of course, you can bring some stuff over to make it more homey.”
“What…” the air rushed from your lungs and your head spun.
You backed up and caught yourself on the wall. You were losing your mind. This couldn’t be real. None of it. He was crazy.
“Let me show you around,” he didn’t seem to notice your distress, or he just didn’t care. He grabbed your hand again and pulled you away from the wall.
You let him guide you through the front room, the dining room, the kitchen and back up the hall as he pointed out the half-bath. You didn’t process much of it and as he urged you up the stairs, you tripped and hit your knees on the next step. He helped you up swiftly, his arm around you as he walked you up the rest of the way.
You could hardly support your own weight. He sat you down on a bench along the wall as you struggled to breathe. He knelt before you and framed your face with his hands.
“I was gonna wait,” he said, “but you made me do this. And now neither of us are ready but this how it has to be.”
You reached up and grabbed his hands as you stared back at him in horror. He didn’t even flinch as he kept his hands around your face.
“Get yourself together,” he said darkly, “now.”
He dropped his hands and stood. You watched him and nodded. You gulped and got to your feet, your legs weak but you forced yourself to stand.
“I’m sorry,” you said without thinking. He smiled and your heart dropped. Why were you apologising to him? You weren’t wrong, you were trapped.
“Come on,” he shoved you ahead of him and pointed you past the open bathroom door. You peeked in as you passed and stopped at the next, “go in.”
You entered the room. It was a tidy bedroom with everything in its place. The rug, the chair, the bed, the sheets, the dresser; everything was finely arranged and painted a scene you found in lifestyle magazines. He brushed by you and pointed to the door at the other side of the bed.
“Your closet,” he said.
You went forward and opened the door as he watched. He flicked the switch as you poked your head in to look around at the hangers. There were more clothes in the closet than you ever had. Some of them were even identical to pieces you already owned.
“Before we move on,” he went to the dresser and the subtle whisper of the drawer sliding out pulled your attention back to the room, “you should change.”
He laid out a frilly lavender piece. The fabric was see-through and there was no crotch. There were flowers embroidered where your nipples would be, the fabric ruched along straps. You looked at him and back at the flimsy lingerie.
“I’ll wait outside,” he backed away, “surprise me.”
“I… Steve--”
“Captain or sir,” he corrected as he filled the doorway with his broad figure, his hand on the handle, “you will learn the rules as we go.”
“I can’t--”
“You can,” he insisted, “rule number one: you address me properly. Rule number two, you do what I say. Rule number three,” he held up three fingers, “you break the rules and there will be consequences. Don’t make me repeat myself again.”
He stepped into the hall and slammed the door. You flinched and looked back at the purple bodysuit. You shuddered and sniffed as your eyes tingled and your nose tickled. You wanted to break down and cry but your fear kept your tears inside. You undressed and pulled on the dainty lingerie.
He knocked just as you finished and pushed open the door without response. His lips parted as his eyes roved your body and you tried to fold in on yourself. He waved you forward and you reluctantly crossed the room. His fingers danced along the seam along your side and lingered just along your pelvis. You may as well be naked.
He gestured you further down the hall to the door at the very end. He slapped your ass as you walked ahead of him and he groaned. You stopped as you saw the thick latch above the handle and you felt him against your back as he caught up.
“It’s unlocked… for now,” he said.
You opened the door as the lightbulb bloomed to life on a censor but you couldn’t cross the threshold. Your mouth hung open as you looked around at the walls, sketches of you pasted across every inch. In all of them, you were naked and contorted in some lurid position; some alone, some with Steve, others you were strapped own while a few had you touching yourself.
You took a step back and collided with Steve. He urged you inside with his body and the door closed. You peered around as he turned to lock the door but there wasn’t a keyhole but a keypad. You couldn’t see what he pressed as he shielded it with his back and your legs threatened to collapse again.
More than the pictures on the wall, the room was a personal playground. There was a bench in the middle that was fit for those kinkier videos you found on the internet, with straps hooked in rings along the legs.
Aside from that, there were leather cuffs, crops, and other whips lined up neatly over a table, surrounded by a litany of silicon, metal and glass toys. In the corner, there was a boxy machine on wheels with a rod sticking out of it.
You spun around and Steve caught you. You reached over his shoulder for the door as panic flowed through you like electricity.
“Please,” you begged, “please, let me go. You can’t--”
“Sweetheart,” he cooed as he took you off your feet and carried you further into the room, “tonight, we’re just getting you ready…”
“No, no, no,” you ranted as you struggled against him, “no, I can’t--”
He threw you down on your feet and as you wobbled, he caught your throat, “never say no to me,” his eyes flared with anger, “do you understand?”
You swallowed and nodded stiffly above his large hand, “yes..”
“Yes, what?” he sneered.
“Yes, sir,” you forced out, “I… I…”
“Will you be good?” he asked as he lifted a brow.
“I’ll be good, sir,” you echoed.
“Turn around,” he released you harshly and you staggered awkwardly until your back was to him.
He rounded you and grabbed your wrist, he pulled you to the cushioned horse and urged you up onto it with a curt order. As he strapped you in, your panic spiked again and you pulled with a squeal of terror.
“If you continue to struggle, it will only be worse,” he said as he buckled in your ankle, your pelvis prone over the end of the bench, “sweetheart, I have to train you because right now, you’re being bad. I can’t love you if you’re bad.”
“Please,” you eked out, “Steve, this isn’t you. You’re-- you’re Captain America--”
“And you’re mine,” he snarled and grabbed the back of your neck as he stood and pushed your head down against the bench.
He trailed his hand down your back and slapped your ass. The strike stung badly and you whimpered as you braced for another. It never came and you sensed him move away from you. You turned your head to watch him as he went to the table but could not see what he was doing.
He spun back and marched around the back of the horse. You tried to crane your head up to keep an eye on him and he smacked your ass again.
“Eyes forward,” he commanded.
You turned your head straight as you let out a whine and he pushed his hand down your thigh. He prodded your ass with the toy in his other hand and the soft click turned to buzz as the vibrations reverberated through your flesh. He rolled it down and pressed along your folds. You squeaked at the sudden ripple it sent through you.
“Just relax,” he coaxed as he pushed between your folds and cupped the toy against your clit, his hand nestled between the leather and your cunt. Every muscle in your body tensed and you gritted your teeth as your core burned to life, “that’s it, sweetheart,” he kneaded your ass with his other hand, “gotta get you ready for me.”
You muffled a sob and pressed your cheek to the bench. You curled your fingers around the metal legs and braced yourself against the rising pleasure. His touch crawled down your ass as he rolled the toy against your bud and he pushed a finger into you. You moaned as he pulled in and out.
“That’s it,” he purred and added another finger, “sweetheart, you’re so tight. So tight for me.”
Your breath hitched as clicked the toy to a higher setting and his fingers sped up inside you as he bent them to reach that most tender spot. Your voice wisped from you without restraint and your eyes rolled back as the pleasure smothered your fear.
“I don’t think you’re ready,” he said, “too tight…” he fucked you even harder with his hand, “you need more.”
Your cunt clenched around him as you came and your walls twitched against his thick fingers. An ocean of pleasure washed over you as he teased your clit to the point of pain. You cried out at the overstimulation as your orgasm crashed down on you. You barely had time to catch your breath as he brought you to another peak and you whined desperately through your teeth.
He slid his fingers out slowly and spread your juices down your thigh and left the toy beneath you as he freed his hand. He backed away and you heard the sloppy noise of him sucking on his wet fingers. Your eyes fluttered open as he went to the table again and wiped his hand on his jeans.
He came back to you and pushed down the straps of the lingerie. He lifted you the inch allotted by the restraint and pinched your nipples with the metal clamps, letting the chain hang between them as he dropped you back down. You grumbled as the feeling plucked at your core.
He returned to the table then went to the corner. You looked up as he rolled the machine towards you, a dildo screwed onto the rod. You pulled at your cuffs helplessly and he slowed as neared you. He stopped and knelt to caress your head as he gripped the firm toy.
“Not quite as big as me,” he smirked, “but it will help…”
“Please,” your thighs tensed as the toy beneath you kept buzzing, “please, sir, no more.”
“Shhh,” he stood and rolled the machine around you.
You listened to him as he adjusted it and lined it up with your cunt. He pushed it until the tip was at your entrance and you stretched around it as he inched it forward. He stopped until the toy filled you. There was a momentary lull and then a subtle whir added to the vibe of the toy as the dildo moved mechanically in and out of you.
You sucked in air as you were fucked by the toy and Steve fixed the vibe beneath you so that it was flush to your clit. You cried out and he backed away as he looked you over. You squeezed your eyes shut as you tried to resist the pressure building inside of you. The steady motion of the toy was enough to push you further and further with each stroke.
When you opened your eyes again, you found Steve leaned against the table, his eyes watching you over a sketch pad as his hand moved a pencil on the other side. You didn’t even have the sense left to be ashamed. You bit your lip and rolled your eyes back as you succumbed to another orgasm. You heard his low hum of satisfaction and quaked atop the bench.
You groaned and opened your eyes again as he neared. He pet your head and held up the pad before you. Lines of graphite etched your image onto the paper and you stared at the sight of your fearful pleasure. He smiled proudly and stood. He puffed his chest and ripped free the page and taped it up with the rest.
“I think that’s the best one,” he said, “it’s a lot easier with the real thing.”
You quivered and panted against the bench. He disappeared behind you and the toy plunged into you even faster and deeper than before. You grunted and lifted your head as you arched your back.
“You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” he reached under you again and clicked the button on the toy until it was on the sixth setting, a vibration that built to top speed only to restart at the lowest and build back up, over and over, urging you to climax only to ease off right before it came, “you’ll be ready… soon.”
He retreated and you looked around your shoulder as you heard the pinpad, “where… where are you going… sir?”
“You need time,” he said as he opened the door, “I’ll be back when you’re ready.”
The door closed and you whined. You tried to rip your hands free from the straps and kick your legs but did nothing but add to the whirlwind of pleasure and pain. You were screwed, literally.
💌
You didn’t know how long Steve left you for but it felt like forever. You hardly heard the door as he entered or the deep of the pin pad as he locked it. You only truly knew he was there when the machine stopped. He slowly slid it out of you and rolled it back to the corner. He took the dead toy from beneath your cunt and paced around you.
He wore only his briefs and stopped by the table as he rubbed the front of them. Your vision was hazy and your mind could only think of your core. Even after all that, you wanted more. You need more. You’d been fucked for what could have been hours but hadn’t cum since he abandoned you.
He pulled down his underwear as he faced you completely. He was only half-erect as his fingers toy with a silicon ring. You squinted as he squirted lube onto the ring and rolled it down his length. He grunted as he got to his base and stroked himself as he neared.
He traced an oily finger along your cheek and gripped your jaw, “open, sweetheart.”
He was completely hard by then and pushed his tip to your lips until they parted. He slid inside as he spread his hand over your head and pinned it to the bench as bent his legs. He poked at your throat but didn’t force himself deep, even as you hardly took in half his length. He fucked your mouth carefully as your saliva squelched loudly.
“You ready for me?” he asked as he continued to thrust, “hmmm?” He pulled out of your mouth and you coughed as your spit clung to his tip. He pushed a finger against your tongue and bent over you, “we have lots of time to use that mouth…”
He stood and dragged his hand down your back and came up behind you. He groped your ass and spread your cheeks with a purr. He rested his cock between them and rubbed himself against your ass as he kneaded your hips.
“You ready, sweetheart? You gotta tell me,” he dragged his nails down your thighs and you trembled.
“I’m… ready…” you gasped out, “sir, please…”
You couldn’t think straight, you could see clearly, and you surely couldn’t fight it any longer. You wiggled your ass and let out a pathetic groan.
“Mhmmm,” he gripped his cock and pushed his tip down along your folds. He pressed against your entrance and tapped it cloyingly.
“Please… sir,” you begged, “please, I’m good. I’m being good.”
“Yes, you are,” he praised and pushed into you just a little.
You moaned and slowly he inched deeper. He was bigger than the toy, thick and throbbing as he filled you more than you could handle. You whined and exclaimed as his pelvis came flush to your cunt. Your toes curled and you scratched at the metal.
“Fuck,” he bent over you, his hard torso to your back, “you are so tight…” he whispered in your ear and felt along the clamp over your nipple, “is it too much, sweetheart?”
You nodded and bared your teeth. He pulled back and you exhaled but he thrust just as deep and you shouted in surprise. He did it again as he crushed you against the bench and squeezed the clamp tighter on your nipple. Your voice trickled from you in weak whimpers as your body shook uncontrollably.
His other arm snaked around you and he buried his hand beneath your pelvis. He parted your folds with two fingers and flicked your clit with another. You murmured and rolled your head against the leather as he sped up, his flesh clapping loudly as he hammered into you without restraint.
“Ah, sweetheart, I don’t think I’d last much longer,” he purred in your ear, “fuck I coulda cum in your mouth if I didn’t… prepare.”
He stood up and kept his hand under you as he rutted into you, his free hand against the small of your back as he played with your bud and tilted his hips wildly. His voice mingled with your own but you were so dazed, you could only hear the squelching and slapping of your bodies.
“You’re mine,” he panted between thrusts, “aren’t you? Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m… yours…” you uttered, “sir...CAPTAIN!”
You shouted as he slowed and rolled his hips tauntingly. You raised your head and squeezed the straps of your restraints as you tried to bend your legs. Your body tensed and your back arched against your will. Your tongue lolled out of your mouth as you came at last.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he groaned as you gushed around him, “fuck, you fit me perfect.”
You dropped your head and he pulled back to grip your hips, fucking you faster and harder. Your entire body ached as he railed into you. The bench quaked under you and you feared both you and the metal would break.
“All mine,” he buried himself entirely and held himself there, “sweetheart.”
He pulled out of you suddenly and you gulped at air as he came around you. He bent to unstrap your wrists and ankles. He lifted you off of the bench and you let him, too weak to stand on your own. He bent his knees and scooped you up, tossing your arms over his shoulder as he held you against him and entered you from below.
He nibbled your lip as he moved you up and down his length and you hugged him loosely. He walked around as if you weighed nothing and turned to lay you down on your back, staying inside you as he stood over the bench. He gripped your sides and rammed his hips against you as he held your ass just above the leather. Your reached up and clung to the bench above you and let your eyes roll back once more.
“Mmmm, don’t pass out on me now, sweetheart,” he grabbed your chin and forced two fingers into your mouth, “I’m not even close to finished with you.”
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#two shot#miniseries#mcu#marvel#captain america#avengers#desperate measures
600 notes
·
View notes
Note
🧿🤠🐇🍲🍯: Lan Wangji does not think it’s safe to raise A-Yuan in Cloud Recesses after the Lans participated in the killing of his zhiji and the entire Burial Mounds community (or more accurately that it’s not safe while he himself is in seclusion and can’t watch over A-Yuan, at least) so he delivers A-Yuan to the one person who he knows did not stand against Wei Wuxian (and got away with it, bc this person has never stood against anything, since standing takes effort): Nie Huaisang.
Little Side Door - ao3
Nie Huaisang’s rooms in the Unclean Realm had a little side door that no one but him ever used.
They hadn’t originally. The Unclean Realm was a fortress, designed to maximize protection and defense; there was no better place for keeping things safe by locking them away. While it had its fair share of boltholes and escape routes, they were not common and universally difficult to access lest the enemy learn of them and use them to their advantage. Even the layout of their open spaces were carefully planned lest the attack come from the sky, a concern that only cultivators had, and not about how they themselves could escape – after all, weren’t they all Nie, ready to die rather than endure dishonor?
The little side door that led to Nie Huaisang’s room opened onto a small rock garden, left to grow wild with weeds rather than reveal its presence to more people. It existed only because his brother had ordered it constructed by those he trusted most, all in secret in the dark of the night. He had never explained why he had gone to such lengths to create such an unwelcome and inauspicious place, but then, he hadn’t needed to – Nie Huaisang had been there, too, when his father had descended into madness and they had been trapped in the familial quarters with no way out that did not take them through him. If his brother had been the one to brave his father’s rage directly, Nie Huaisang had been the one stuck in a small space that was only not claustrophobic because it was so painfully familiar.
Now, though his father was long dead and gone, Nie Huaisang had a little side door.
A little side door, and a little garden that almost no one knew about; in combination with the saber that his brother forced him to learn and the golden core he had so begrudgingly formed, he now had a way to reach the sky and the illusive freedom it represented – the freedom to flee and leave his home behind.
If it ever happens again – his brother had said once, the closest he had ever come to speaking of it.
He did not finish his sentence, as Nie Huaisang had thrown his plate into his face and stormed off, steaming mad and close to tears. He did not raise the subject a second time.
Nie Huaisang did not often use his little side door.
Although he enjoyed gardens, he preferred the aviary he’d constructed, or one of the myriad of well-tended gardens in the main part of the sect; even the vegetable gardens out back beside the kitchens were far more welcoming than that sparse straggle of land. He’d only ever spent time there when he was a child and in desperate need of some quiet, wanting to avoid adults with their arguments and their miseries; he’d taken some friends there because he thought it might impress them, but it hadn’t, and anyway his brother had put a stop to that soon enough.
He didn’t even think about the little side door, most days. It was just a part of the room, a small tucked away corner with nothing in it. Nothing to think about.
And then, of course, years after he’d put it out of his mind entirely, there came a terrible banging noise at that little side door, like someone was kicking at it furiously from the outside.
Nie Huaisang nearly fell over sideways in his scramble to get up, and then once again when he realized where the noise was coming from – almost no one knew about his side door and its little garden, and so no one had ever come to him through it. Who would be knocking now…?
He opened it.
Lan Wangji, white robes stained with blood and cheeks bright with fever, shoved something into his arms. “You have a child now,” he said through bitten lips. “Congratulations. He is called A-Yuan. I entrust you with his care, for my sect cannot be trusted with it.”
And then he turned and staggered away, mounting up on Bichen and flying off before Nie Huaisang could say anything – before he could even finish searching his memories and recalling that yes, in fact, Lan Wangji had been one of the friends he had shown the side door to, years and years before, and thus knew how to find it. Before he could even start processing the thousands of thoughts that had spring to life, fully formed, at all the information he’d just received: the bloody robes, the desperation, the reference to the Lan sect – the Lan sect! – being somehow untrustworthy…
He looked down at his arms.
“Congratulations,” he echoed blankly. “I have a child now.”
The child blinked up at him, and then smiled.
-
“Da-ge!” Nie Husiang howled, rushing into the sect leader’s study where his brother was doing work – luckily it wasn’t receiving hours and he wasn’t in the main hall, as that would have been unfortunate. “Da-ge, you have to help me! I have a child now!”
His brother stared at him, expression blank and mouth slightly agape. The brush in his hand dripping ink onto a now-wasted piece of paper.
“Huaisang,” he said after a moment. “What the fuck.”
Nie Huaisang nodded furiously.
“Where did you get – how – who – what did you do?!”
“I am currently unable to disclose any details,” Nie Huaisang said promptly even as his brother tossed aside the brush and got up, striding over with a storm brewing in his face. “All I can say is that I have to raise this child now. By which I mean, you have to help me raise this child now; I can’t raise children! I’m not mature enough to raise a child!”
“No kidding! Why would someone entrust – to you…” Nie Mingjue trailed off, looking down at the child with a frown that shifted from disbelieving irritation to concern. He pressed his hand to the child’s forehead. “Huaisang, this child has a high fever. We need to get him to the medical wing at once – is that blood?”
“Not his, I don’t think?”
“I don’t want to know,” his brother decided. “Move.”
Some time later, they were both sitting next to the bed in one of the spare rooms in the family quarters; Nie Huaisang thought it might even have been the same one that he’d used when he was very young. A-Yuan was sleeping, and Nie Mingjue was still holding his little hand in his own, having been clocked as the oversize comfort animal that he not-so-secretly was from the very first moment A-Yuan laid eyes on him.
The doctors had declared A-Yuan’s fever to be very severe, but they had applied plenty of medicine – the Lan sect might have more esoteric healing techniques, but there wasn’t anything like the Nie sect when it came to standard medicine for injuries and illnesses associated with the battlefield, and despite A-Yuan’s tender age Nie Huaisang would be willing to bet that his injuries were from a battlefield. They were confident that A-Yuan would make a full recovery, body and mind both intact, although they warned that his memory of the past might be impacted.
Nie Huaisang had thought about all that blood that wasn’t his, of Lan Wangji pale-faced and wild-eyed, and decided that a little bit of forgetting might not be so bad after all.
“Are you going to tell me anything more,” his brother said after a while. “Or should I just give up now?”
Nie Huaisang leaned over and patted his knee. “It’s good that you know your limitations.”
His brother rolled his eyes.
“I can’t believe this is my life,” he remarked.
“What part?” Nie Huaisang asked, curious. “The fact that we have a kid now, because obviously we’re keeping him? Or the fact that someone gave a kid to me?”
“Both,” his brother decided. “Definitely both.”
-
“His name’s A-Yuan,” Nie Huaisang said. “Apparently.”
“Well,” his brother said. “Obviously that won’t do.”
-
Nie Huaisang had the ability to be sneaky when he wanted to be. It wasn’t a matter of stealth, he had explained to his brother, but sneakiness– a completely different concept. Stealth suggested that he was doing something to conceal himself and required skills and talent, or else a lot of practice, and obviously Nie Huaisang was not going to go in for either of those.
Sneakiness, though…
He didn’t need people not to be able to see him in order to be sneaky. He just needed them not to care about him, or wonder where he was.
“Psst,” he said, knocking on the window to the rooms where Lan Wangji was purportedly practicing seclusion. “Psst! Lan Zhan!”
Lan Wangji had given him a child. They were definitely past the ‘Lan-er-gongzi’ stage.
“Lan Zhan!” he rapped at the window with his fan. “We need a courtesy name!”
There was some sounds from within the jingshi, mostly stumbling around. Nie Huaisang waited patiently, and after a few moments the window opened and Lan Wangji stared out at him. He was as pale as a ghost with lips as red as blood, and very clearly not in seclusion at all, but rather in the midst of healing whatever wounds had left him bloody – he probably shouldn’t have gotten out of bed to answer.
Oh, well. Too late for regret now.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Lan Wangji said, voice dull and eyes blank as he stared at Nie Huaisang. It was unclear if he meant in the Cloud Recesses generally, or here in particular, interrupting his ‘seclusion’.
“Didn’t you hear me?” Nie Huaisang said, scowling at him. “We need a courtesy name! A courtesy name for the child, you hear me? You know, of course, that Qinghe Nie don’t use personal names, not even for children – certainlynot for children older than their first year. It’d be a complete giveaway that he’s not organically ours if we call him something like A-Yuan.”
Lan Wangji raised a hand to pinch his nose. “Please go away.”
“Courtesy name, Lan Zhan. I mean, I may be the one who’ll be raising him, but please think carefully: do you really want meto be the one naming him?”
“…call him Sizhui.”
“Sizhui,” Nie Huaisang repeated. “With the characters…?”
Lan Wangji nodded.
“Uh, no,” Nie Huaisang said. “I need a bettercourtesy name. Are you joking?”
“Nie Huaisang. Go away.”
“But –”
Lan Wangji slammed the window shut.
“…fine,” Nie Huaisang said to the closed window. “Be that way, see if I care. Not like we don’t need to build up a decent coparenting relationship or anything eventually.”
He thought he heard a choking sound from behind the door and smirked.
“Don’t you think you can baby-trap me and just walk away, Lan Zhan,” he said in his best ominous tone. “If you wanted someone to raise your kid without ever consulting you again, you should’ve dropped him off in the Lotus Pier with Jiang Cheng, who’d probably be too busy being confused to even question where he came frome – but no. You came to me. I don’t make decisions in the best of times, least of all good. I have questions. A lot of questions.”
He thought about it for a moment.
“Not about how you got him or anything like that,” he said. “I’m not stupid, I can tell a secret when I see one. But, you know, other types of questions. Parenting stuff. Are you a ‘go sit and think about what you’ve done’ sort of parent? Or more traditional discipline, with copying lines and occasionally strikes when they’re naughty? Do you want him to learn the Lan sect rules along with the Nie sect principles –”
There was a muffled sound from inside the house.
It sounded angry.
“…we can talk about it later,” Nie Huaisang decided. He might’ve pushed his luck a bit too much. “Talk later!”
-
“You have a…what?” Lan Xichen asked, his smile a little fixed and stare a little wilder than normal.
“A nephew!” Nie Mingjue gushed. “Isn’t he wonderful?”
“Nephew.”
“He’s so well behaved, too! He plays quietly by himself most of the time, drawing and even writing a little, and Huaisang’s already teaching him how to play the dizi –”
“When you say nephew, do you mean Nie Huaisang’s child?”
“Do I have other brothers?” Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes at him. “He’s obviously not yours. Anyway, I know Meng Yao is expecting one, too, but he wouldn’t be dressed in Nie colors if it was his, would it?”
“Yes, but…are you telling me that…that Nie Huaisang…”
“It’s a battlefield child, Xichen,” Nie Mingjue said patiently. “Obviously. Someone entrusted him to Huaisang.”
“Oh,” Lan Xichen said, looking relieved. “Yes, that makes more sense…wait.”
Nie Mingjue waited.
“Someone entrusted him to Nie Huaisang?”
“I know, right?” Nie Mingjue said, and Lan Xichen didn’t notice how strained his grin had suddenly become, or how thoughtful his eyes were as he surveyed Lan Xichen as if trying to find an answer to a question. “I would’ve assumed they’d go for someone more responsible, like you. Guess you never know…”
“I guess you don’t,” Lan Xichen agreed, looking down at the child with a bemused expression. A battlefield child, entrusted to Nie Huaisang… “They must have been truly driven to desperation.”
“Perhaps,” Nie Mingjue said, and then changed the subject to little Nie Sizhui’s accomplishments, of which he could list many at great length and very great enthusiasm. By the time he was done with that, Ln Xichen was so overwhelmed that he didn’t ask a single other question.
-
“So I’ve got an idea on how to do this whole co-parenting thing,” Nie Huaisang said, cracking nuts to eat. He was sitting next to Lan Wangji’s bedside, and dropping the shells straight on the floor, too, staring dead-eyed at Lan Wangji as if daring him to say something – which he wouldn’t, of course. “Since with Sizhui starting classes soon it’s become much more urgent, on account of me needing you to attend meetings with his teachers and discuss his progress.”
Lan Wangji looked deeply long-suffering. He’d only invited Nie Huaisang inside because Nie Huaisang had threatened to start shouting out his business loudly on account of oh but Lan Zhan, how was I to know if you could hear me in there, I just had to raise my voice just in case because I wouldn’t want you to miss any of the extremelyimportant news –
It was all Lan Wangji’s fault for being born earlier than Nie Huaisang, Nie Huaisang thought virtuously. It was merely Nie Huaisang’s lot in life to fulfill the role of annoying younger brother to everyone.
“See, it’s the music,” Nie Huaisang continued. “You do music, right?”
Lan Wangji’s ice-cold glare suggested that he did, in fact, ‘do music’.
“So your brother has been playing this song for da-ge on a regular basis,” Nie Huaisang explained, ignoring the glare entirely. “And when he’s not available, which is most of the time nowadays, he’s been sending san-ge instead. Even though, of course, poor san-ge’s so busy back at Lanling all the time…ughh, it’s so unfair, you know! Poor san-ge has to do all the work of being the heir and gets none of the benefits, and they pile even more work on him on top of that – really, he gets no respect.”
Lan Wangji’s expression suggested he didn’t care.
“And think about the inconvenience to us!” Nie Huaisang sallied forth, undeterred. “People coming and going all the time, da-ge having to interrupt his schedule of spending quality time with me and Sizhui – and sect leader work, of course, though that’s less important – in order to march over to greet them and host them and listen to them…what a pain it is!”
Lan Wangji appeared on the verge of suggesting that Nie Huaisang consider getting to the point.
“So you should come do it instead.”
Lan Wangji’s expression cracked, suggesting that Nie Huaisang had actually managed to make an impact.
“You remember,” he said, voice low and a little hoarse from all that refusing to speak he’d been doing. Really, if Nie Huaisang wasn’t around to goad him into it, he might’ve lost the voice entirely – he didn’t even have little Sizhui around to force him to speak! “That I’m in seclusion. Right?”
“You’re horribly lonely is what you are,” Nie Huisang said briskly. “You require company. Therefore, coming to take up a semi-permanent posting in the Unclean Realm to play the Song of Clarity for my brother morning, noon, and night is clearly the finest way to solve all of our problems, and for you to see little Sizhui as often as you like.”
Lan Wangji visibly wavered. “My brother,” he said, then coughed. “My brother will never believe it.”
“That’s your problem,” Nie Huaisang said. “Find a way to sell it.”
He stood, shaking the remaining shells onto the chair.
“See you in Qinghe soon, Lan Zhan..!”
Lan Wangji was trying to kill him with his mind, Nie Huaisang thought happily as he wandered off with a whistle and a vaguely silly expression. Good – he’d been inside for too long. He needed the stimulation.
-
“Truly,” Nie Mingjue remarked, strolling around their gardens without any apparent notice of the small child perched on his shoulders, giggling wildly at the feeling of being tall, “I feel far better than I did before! One can scarcely compare it – night and day, really. Your Lan sect’s Song of Clarity is a marvel, even if it does take a while before it kicks in.”
“Mm,” Lan Wangji said, walking slowly with his hands behind his back. He was still unsteady on his feet on account of the absolutely horrific injuries he’d incurred – but if the Lan sect’s response to everything was seclusion, seclusion, seclusion, then the Nie sect’s equivalent response was exercise. These little excursions through the gardens were the result.
Thus far, they were still only doing laps around the main gardens, but Nie Huaisang had plans to eventually force Lan Wangji to go even as far as his own little side garden. He’d made it through his side door once, after all; why not a second time..?
At any rate, Nie Huaisang still wasn’t quite sure how Lan Wangji had talked Lan Xichen into allowing him to come to the Unclean Realm, but it really did make the whole co-parenting business a lot more convenient. And his brother had had so much fun making Lan Wangji stiff and awkward over all his thanks and praise for his decision to come ‘help out’ with Nie Sizhui’s raising until finally, at last, Nie Huaisang had taken pity and revealed that Nie Mingjue knew perfectly well whose battlefield child this was.
Both in terms of who had gifted him to Nie Huaisang, and who’d adopted him originally, and of course even his original surname – The little tot’s been through enough adoptions to make anyone’s head spin, his brother had said, his voice gruff as always. There’s no point in thinking back too far, is there?
Lan Wangji had been very relieved.
“Run, bobo!” Nie Sizhui cried, pointing over at a bird. “We need to get it for Sang-gege!”
Nie Mingjue snorted like a bull but obediently quickened his feet and left the rest of them behind, heading in full charge straight at the wild pheasant that was far more likely to end up on Nie Huaisang’s plate than in his aviary. It was about even odds which one Nie Sizhui meant, anyway.
“Nie Huaisang,” Lan Wangji said, his voice low, and Nie Huaisang looked at him. “The Song of Clarity does not take time to work. These effects should have happened at once.”
Nie Huaisang opened his fan, hiding his face as he frowned. “How odd,” he said. “And after san-ge put in all that hard work.”
“Perhaps he played it wrong.”
“Odd,” Nie Huaisang said again. “When san-ge gets so very little wrong…has your brother sent any word on the Xue Yang issue?”
“…he has not.”
“He’s going to need to pick a side eventually.”
“He does not want to make things difficult for his sworn brother.”
“Does he have only the one?” Nie Huaisang asked archly, and Lan Wangji averted his gaze. “It’s awkward for us if he doesn’t back us, and is a bad look besides…truly, it’s a wonder that san-ge managed to squeeze out the time to come here.”
Lan Wangji’s frown deepened. “Indeed,” he said. “One would think his father might be tempted to stop him.”
“Wouldn’t you just?” Nie Huaisang said. “Wouldn’t you just…you know, maybe when you’re feeling better, we should go visit Lanling ourselves.”
Lan Wangji glanced at him, arching an eyebrow, and Nie Huaisang smiled, fanning himself casually.
“I’m not the only one with a little side door,” he said. “Let’s go knocking and see what we find, shall we?”
390 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fresh Air
Poly Series Chapter Index
summary: the first few months of life with your boyfriends and your newborn daughter bring numerous hardships that none of you were truly prepared for
length: 27.8k
tags/warnings: handjobs, dry humping, fingering, breastfeeding kink, slight daddy kink, cum sharing, smut, polyamory, multiple partners, the usual tags, angst?, some sadness
Having a baby is no easy thing. You knew that. You also knew that being in such a large polyamorous relationship wasn’t an easy thing. Already you’d lost two boyfriends; Lucas was long gone, happy in his own little world with Chaerin, and Ten was gone too, slowly slipping away.
It took the others a few days to realize that Ten was gone from the relationship. You didn’t have the same emotional breakdown as you did when Lucas ended things, so it wasn’t until you went around kissing each of them goodnight halfway through movie night, skipping over Ten, that Taeyong sat up curiously.
“Excuse me!” He calls as you start to climb the stairs. “What just happened?”
Ten is slouched down between Taeyong and Kun, and he scowls at Taeyong, twisting his hand in the back of his shirt and tugging him back into Ten’s side. Ten mumbles, “We broke up.”
“What?” Taeyong looks sharply between you and Ten. “When?”
The other eyes in the room slide toward this conversation.
Ten flicks his gaze toward you, then he switches on his mischievous flirty grin, snuggling up against Taeyong. “When I realized you’re the only one for me, hyung!”
Taeyong shoves him away with a groan.
WinWin comes down the stairs then, looking sleepy, sporting a little spit-up stain on his shoulder. He looks past you to where Taeyong and Ten are wrestling with each other, nearly falling into Kun’s lap as he groans and tries to keep them away. WinWin’s hand slides over your shoulder, squeezing reassuringly as he asks, “Hey, what’s going on?”
He just got off from Daddy-duty, which mostly meant giving Mei a bottle and then napping with her. Ever since learning that he was her biological father, he’d been trying to help you out even more—offering to change her, to give her baths, to feed her (even though she was mostly breastfeeding, you were supplementing a little with bottles and formula).
“Me and Ten broke up,” you tell him, plucking at the front of his shirt. “You might want to wash this. Mei spit up on you.”
“Hold on. Are we just skipping over that? What do you mean you and Ten broke up?” WinWin frowns, his lips drooping into a pout.
You look back at everyone else, and a few of them are craning their necks to be able to see you. So you sigh, and you explain the breakup. Ten nods along with you, occasionally adding his own little input.
“I told you all that first day when we learned I was pregnant, if any of you want to leave or feel like you can’t deal with helping raise a baby, I understand. None of you signed up for a baby when we started this relationship.” You glance around the room, your gaze touching Lucas who has his head ducked as he picks at some loose skin around his nail. “Only WinWin’s definitely stuck with me now.”
There’s grumbles and eye-rolling around the room. WinWin touches the small of your back, just a tender touch to reassure you that he’s here, not going anywhere.
“Like I said, I understand when any of you want to leave. I don’t want any of you to be unhappy here.” You turn away and start up toward your bedroom. “Goodnight!”
But the others can’t let it go. It was one thing when just Lucas had left the relationship, but now Ten too? That second loss felt like the start of instability in the relationship, a crack in the formerly solid foundation. You tried hard not to think of it that way, but that was hard especially when a few days later you’re in bed with Kun.
Mei is asleep on the bed between you both.
It was just you and her for a long while, you were reading a novel to pass the time, and because you knew it was important for her to hear speech and intonation (even though at only almost two weeks old, speech was still a while away for her) you were reading aloud to her.
Kun had come inside, and when you paused in your reading he’d smiled and shaken his head. “Keep going. You have a lovely voice.”
So you’d read until Mei was asleep again, until your throat was dry. Kun was alternating between looking at you, looking at Mei, or looking at the backs of his eyelids. But when you sit aside the book and turn onto your side facing him and your daughter, Kun’s eyes open so he can see you.
“How are you?” He asks softly, reaching out to brush a finger at the thin skin under your eyes. “How are you holding up?”
You clasp his hand, pulling it down to your lips so you can kiss his palm. “You mean in general, or like postpartum? Or the breakup with Ten?”
Kun swallows, his eyes searching yours. “All of the above, I guess.” He looks down to your lips as you kiss his hand again. “I mean, you haven’t left the house since you came home from the hospital. That’s got to be taking a toll. And I’ve done some reading online, I know about postpartum depression and stuff. Then on top of the chances of that, there could be a hit of regular depression because of the breakup. I’m just worried, concerned.”
“I’m fine, Kun. Really.”
And you believe that you are. You feel good. Even with the breakup. Ten’s still here; he’s just more like your best friend now than anything else when he comes into your room to make sure you’re getting something to eat, to coo at Mei, or to kidnap Miso from where he’s curled up beneath Mei’s crib.
“Can I ask you something else?” Kun turns onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. “If I still hook up with Ten, are you going to be mad? Does it count as cheating on you?”
You laugh. “No. It’s fine. You, Taeyong, Johnny, any of you can keep doing whatever you’ve been doing with Ten. I encourage it. I’m pretty sure one of you is actually the reason he broke up with me, unless you know of someone else that he’s had his eye on?”
Kun shakes his head. “No, just us.”
“I don’t mind sharing with Ten. I still love him. I want him to be happy.” You stroke a gentle finger down Mei’s arm. “I want you to be happy, so if you want to choose Ten, then I wouldn’t blame you for br—“
Kun moves so quickly to shut down what you’re saying that he jostles the bed and that wakes Mei.
“Shit.” Kun immediately starts trying to comfort her, cradling her gently in his arms, speaking to her in soft, soothing tones. And as Mei starts to settle, he looks sharply back up at you. “Don’t say something like that, about me breaking up with you.” His face twists with annoyance. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”
“That’s what you all say. Lucas loved me. Ten loved me. They both left.”
“I do fucking love you.” Kun tells you, his voice assertive and hushed as he looks down at Mei again. “If I had Mark’s balls I’d have proposed to you by now too. I’m sure half of us would have as well. I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, my love. So stop trying to get rid of me.”
You’re not trying to get rid of any of them, but over the next few weeks it becomes clear that all of this—maintaining this relationship—is going to be a lot harder while you’re recovering from birth and while you’re trying to focus on Mei, feeding her and sleeping when you can.
Even with your boyfriends trying to help, it’s not easy.
Jaehyun, WinWin, Kun. They’re always up to help you with anything and everything. Doyoung and Yuta are a little squeamish still of diapers. Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Jungwoo, Xiaojun, Mark, and Hendery try, but some of them still seem scared to touch her, to spend time alone with a newborn who is so utterly fragile. And for some of them it seems that they’re just desperately ready for you to be recovered, ready to have sex again.
“It takes some time,” you explain to Johnny one evening when he approaches you. “I’m sorry, I know you’re horny.”
You’re not ready to have sex again, so the most you can offer any of them are handjobs, maybe a blowjob.
You’re standing in the kitchen, just cleaning up a few dishes. Taeyong and Doyoung are upstairs watching Mei, so it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea when you offer to Johnny, “Do you want me to give you a hand?”
So moments later, you’re sitting on the edge of the counter, Johnny between your knees. You’re kissing him with one hand in his hair, the other down the front of his pants, softly kissing away his moans, giving him a few of your own to edge him closer.
“Shit, I want to be inside you,” Johnny groans, fucking forward into your grip.
“Just a few more weeks.” You kiss the corner of his mouth, then sit back. You twist your fingers tight in his hair, tugging lightly. Johnny’s eyes fall shut, a moan slipping free of his lips. “Then we can--”
Distantly, you hear the sound of Mei crying; her howling cries that she seems too tiny to be able to make. Your head jerks toward the doorway of the kitchen. You can see the stairs from here.
Johnny sighs, and his forehead touches against the side of yours.
“I’m close. Please, babe.” He bucks forward through the ring of your fingers, grinding closer, trying to get himself over the edge. “Just finish me off, then go.”
She howls again, and you wonder what Doyoung and Taeyong are doing up there. Johnny pants desperately, so you turn your attention back to him, dragging his mouth back into a kiss, tugging on his hair, jerking him off just the way you know gets him off quickest.
He cums with a grunt, coating your hand in his load, and as soon as he’s finished, you pull your hand out of his pants, rinse it off in the sink, and then you hurry from the room, up the stairs after the sound of your daughter’s cries.
By the time you reach the room, you can see she’s red-faced, crying while Doyoung tries changing her diaper, and Taeyong’s desperately trying to calm her.
“Did you pinch her or something?” You ask, wiping your hands on your pants, wrapping them briefly in your shirt to make sure they’re dry. Taeyong looks up at you with panic in his eyes.
“She just woke up and started screaming,” he says. “Is she hungry? She’s not really all that messy.” Taeyong gestures at her diaper.
Doyoung’s doing just fine, wiping her clean, changing her while holding his breath. Once he’s got the diaper safely fastened, he wipes his hands clean with a wet wipe, then lifts her up in his arms to rock her. He looks up at you then. “We were doing just fine before that.”
Slowly her cries quiet down, the bright color of frustration draining from her face until she’s back to normal, her little fists gathered around Doyoung’s pinkie finger and his thumb. Her dark eyes are still open wide, gazing up at his face.
You sit down on your bed, and Taeyong sits with you.
“I feel kinda bad,” you tell him. “I left Johnny down there, but her crying had me worried. I hate that I can’t give you guys the time and attention you deserve.”
Taeyong smiles softly, stroking the back of your head. “She needs you more than we do. And I’m sure Ten would be more than happier to help out. Kun said that you told him it’s okay. Right?” You nod. Taeyong nods too, then lets out a breath before saying, “That’s a relief, honestly. Because I didn’t want to feel guilty about still sleeping with him.”
“It’s fine, Taeyong. What you have with him predates what you have with me anyway.” You squeeze his thigh reassuring. You truly don’t mind sharing any of them with Ten. “I don’t want to be the one to mess with that.”
Taeyong grins and kisses your cheek. “Thanks. Well, now you’re back, and you and Doyoung probably have this handled, I’m heading to the studio.” He stands and stretches his arms over his head, the hem of his shirt lifting up just enough that you can see the red mark of a hickey on his hipbone. “I’m almost finished up with all this recording,” Taeyong says excitedly.
And when he’s gone from the room, you flop back into your bed, staring up at your ceiling.
Doyoung comes over to the side of the bed a moment later, and when you turn your attention to him, he’s holding Mei to his chest, but he’s only looking at you. He asks, “Can I join you?”
You nod.
The mattress shakes as Doyoung does his best to settle down carefully into the bed beside you. Mei goes comfortably onto her tummy on Doyoung’s chest, her little fist up at her mouth, thumb between her lips. You scoot closer, your face close in front of hers, and you sigh.
Doyoung rests a hand on her back.
“You okay?” He asks. “Feeling good still?”
Just a few days before, an ever-concerned Doyoung had approached you and begun asking you what felt like very pointed questions that you eventually determined was him trying to make sure that you weren’t suffering from postpartum depression. You’d convinced him you were fine and feeling good about everything, which was absolutely the truth. Still is the truth. But while staring here at your daughter’s face you just feel like you never want to leave her side.
Originally, you’d planned to go back to working after about six weeks.
“I’m not so sure I want to go back to work,” you tell Doyoung.
Mei blinks, sucking at her thumb. She’s looking at you, and you wonder if she can really see you right now, if she can distinguish your face, tell you apart from Doyoung or WinWin or Miso.
“So don’t go back.” Doyoung’s words are simple, direct. “If you just want to stay home and take care of Mei, then that’s perfectly fine. She’s the most important job you can have, anyway. We’re here to make sure you and this little princess have a stable future.”
You nod. “Maybe when she’s older I’ll go back to work, but I think while she’s young, before she can go to school, I want to spend time with her, teach her.”
Doyoung smiles. “You’ll make her brave and smart. She’ll go to school and they won’t know what hit them. A tiny little sweet faced girl with a big personality, a big heart, and a brain to match. She’ll be the perfect combination of all her daddies.”
You laugh. You can see it now: a little girl with WinWin’s face in her little uniform and braided pigtails, walking into her first classroom with confidence, jabbering away and making friends, impressing teachers. You want to build Mei into a strong, confident, brave girl who’s intelligent and knows her own worth, who won’t let anyone put her down or make her feel small.
You can’t wait to meet her.
When Mei is one month old, WinWin accompanies you to the checkup appointment with the pediatrician. The appointment goes well, and WinWin makes it clear that he’s eager to be Mei’s dad, asking the doctor all kinds of questions about things that you didn’t even consider. He asks the doctor if she thinks it will confuse Mei if she hears multiple languages on a regular basis.
“Oh, no. Quite the opposite. Children raised in multilingual homes often benefit greatly. They can have improved concentration skills, are better at providing solutions, and generally perform better academically.” She smiles encouragingly. “But, out of curiosity, how many languages are we talking? Two? Three?”
You and WinWin look at each other.
“Probably three,” you tell her. “Potentially four or five.”
Korean and Chinese and English you figure will primarily be spoken around her, but Japanese and Thai are also possibilities. You don’t even mention that Cantonese might occasionally be spoken around her as well.
“Oh, well that is impressive.” She scribbles something on her clipboard. “I think little Mei will certainly benefit from that.”
When you’re leaving the doctor’s office, WinWin carries Mei’s little carrier. She’s awake and looking up at him, and he keeps speaking to her in Chinese using a cutesy tone. Though as soon as you’re outside, he looks up at you. “Are you hungry? I was thinking we could go grab something to eat?”
There’s a place right around the corner that WinWin knows, so that’s where you go. It’s been a while since you’ve been out on anything that seems like a date. The last time you really went out somewhere and did things with people was your baby shower, and that was three months ago. Your last date was before that, when Lucas took you out to dinner just days before he broke up with you, which is somewhat upsetting when you think about it. And you’ve gone to a few parks over the last few weeks, taking Mei out for some fresh air and sunlight with your various boyfriends, but none of those really counted as dates, so you’re excited when you get to sit down at a table with WinWin and Mei.
Even by the time you do get home afterwards, you’re still buzzing with happiness from how wonderfully the appointment had gone plus the lunch date afterwards, and how Mei didn’t start getting fussy until right as you were arriving home.
You’re just in a very good mood. While you nurse Mei, Xiaojun sits with you and tells you a dramatic retelling of his day with Hendery and YangYang. Renjun wanders into your room a bit later to hangout and hold Mei. The whole afternoon is just guys coming in and out of your room, and you’re feeling great and happy, and you’re feeling good enough that when Jungwoo and Johnny come in to interrupt you doing yoga (in an attempt to get your body as closely to how it was before the pregnancy), you don’t mind. You let them sit and watch. Johnny even helps you with a few poses, and Jungwoo lies down on the floor with you, but he puts Mei on his chest to give her a little bit of tummy time.
You’re in the midst of laughing with Jungwoo and Johnny when Doyoung steps into your doorway, knocks on the doorframe, and says, “We have a little problem.”
That happy little bubble you’ve been living in all day pops.
Doyoung summons a group meeting, so you and Jungwoo and everyone else who’s home descend to the living room. You bring Mei with you, apologizing to Renjun that you don’t want to leave her alone with him (not his fault, it’s just you being nervous being away from her). Not everyone is home, so Doyoung calls Taeyong, Kun, and Jaehyun who are all working and puts them on speaker so they can listen in.
You sit nervously in the big armchair. Ten squeezes in with you, and he convinces you to pass Mei over into Uncle Ten’s loving arms.
“What’s wrong, Doyoung?” You ask first once everyone’s gathered.
He sighs and holds up his phone, which has Twitter open on it. There’s a long thread of tweets, images and text, and you’re not sure what that’s all about, not until he says, “It’s amazing that it took fans this long to catch on.”
“What do you mean by that?” Jaehyun’s voice is staticky over the phonecall. “Caught on to what?”
“To us.” Doyoung explains. “Apparently, our girlfriend and WinWin and Mei were spotted out together today by a fan, and now the pictures are everywhere.”
WinWin swears under his breath.
“But it’s not just that. It was at first.” Doyoung scrolls up to the top of the Twitter thread on his phone. “Some fans realized that they’ve seen her before, so there’s this thread and a whole bunch of others just full of photos of us and you, sweetheart. Going back ages. I’ve been reading comments, and people were saying that for a long time they just thought you were one of our managers or a staff member or something, but then others had their photos, had stories of times they’ve spotted us out with you. There was some fan who said she saw you out with Hendery and Jungwoo.
“So now they’re pretty sure that you’re dating one of us, or secretly married to one of us, but they don’t know who. Until today, seeing you and Mei with WinWin, they think they’ve solved it all.” Doyoung rubs his hand over his face, clearly exasperated. “But others think differently, because you’ve been spotted out carrying Mei on your walks through the park with me, with Taeil, with Mark and Taeyong. Some fans are just generally pissed off about all of this.”
Everyone’s been staring at Doyoung or else looking down at their phones as they also search social media for all of these swirling rumors and gossip.
Taeil’s the first to sit forward, and he looks over at you. “I don’t think you should leave the house for a few days until this dies down. For your safety.”
You know he’s talking about their sasaengs. Somehow they’ve been lucky enough that sasaengs haven’t camped out in front of this house like you know they did at their apartments when you first met them. You’re sure that many of those photos in that thread Doyoung’s talking about were taken by sasaengs.
“What are we going to do?” Kun asks, his voice sounding echoey and very distant over the phone.
“What can we do?” Yuta responds. “I say we just let it all die down, don’t acknowledge the rumors at all.”
Doyoung sighs heavily. “I don’t think we can really do that, hyung. I’m sure the company is going to want to talk to all of us about it. And we can’t just ignore it and pretend that we don’t know what they’re talking about because there is all of this photo evidence, many stories, there are videos, and apparently when Xiaojun did an Insta live last week, you could hear Mei crying in the background.”
“Just say it was Haechan,” Mark suggests. “Say he was acting like a baby.”
“Or we could just tell the truth,” Jaehyun says over the phone.
Yuta rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but what part of the truth? That Mei is WinWin’s baby, or that literally the fourteen of us all had the same girlfriend and that for nine months didn’t know which of us was fathering her child? That part of the truth? I feel like our NCTzens would possibly explode. Imagine the chaos. We’d probably be forced to disband.”
“Obviously not that whole truth, dumbass.” Jaehyun retorts.
Yuta starts to bicker back at him, but Taeyong’s voice speaks up loudly over the phone, cutting them both off. “We’re not our own PR team. This isn’t something that we have to address right now, so maybe we should at least wait until we’re all home and can talk about it together, right?”
Right.
But you decide to go on to bed. It’s late enough that you can go without drawing suspicion, and as you’ve got Mei comfy in her bed, you curl up in your bed and open Twitter on your phone.
Maybe it’s a bad idea to search up what fans are saying, but you can’t help it. Especially now when you see half of your boyfriends’ names trending along with NCT and some other things that you’re sure are related to this drama going on. It is somewhat disturbing to see this evidence that the fans are gathering against you, to see the nasty things that they’re saying--threats against you and you even see a few against your daughter that have you muffling your tears against your pillow--and you’re still looking at all of this in horror when the door of your room opens.
A shadowy figure slips from the lit hallway outside into the dark of your bedroom. You hear the familiar footfalls, and when he falls into bed, it’s a comfortable and intimately familiar weight and heat as he rolls against your side.
“Are you okay?” Mark asks.
His feet bump against yours, and as his head edges onto your pillow, he sees what you’re looking at and sees the blue light of your screen reflecting off the wetness on your cheeks.
“No, that’s what we’re not going to do, okay?” Mark sits up and plucks your phone from your hand, rolls over to the far side of your bed, and sits your phone on the bedside table before he comes back. His thumbs are gentle when he wipes at your cheeks. His voice only sounds a little frustrated, more concerned than anything else as he questions, “Why were you looking at all that?”
“I wanted to know what they’ve seen, what they had to say.” You sniffle and press your face into the pillow. “Your fans can be terrible.”
Mark sinks down beside you once more, and he places a soothing hand on your back, rubbing up and down your spine. “Listen, you and Mei are safe. If you think that we’d ever let them do anything to hurt either of you....” Mark’s cheek rests against your shoulder. “We’ll fix this. I know we will.”
You sigh shakily, and turn, wrapping yourself around Mark, squeezing him in a hug as you hide your face against his neck. He hugs you back just as tightly.
It’s hours later, Mark has fallen asleep beside you, and his arm is still tucked under your head, his fingers on that hand are tangled in your hair as he’d fallen asleep gently massaging your scalp in an attempt to get you to fall asleep (which was unsuccessful). There’s a soft glow from the nightlight in the corner of the room, and by its light you’ve been watching Mark’s face, counting his eyelashes and his freckles and then counting his breaths, but you can’t calm your mind enough to slow down and fall asleep.
So you hear Mei waking up, hear her starting to cry. You know you need to get up, leave the nice comforting warmth of the bed, to go feed her, but all you want to do is just stay right there.
You squeeze your eyes shut even as her cries begin to build.
Mark’s sleeping like a rock, so he doesn’t stir. You press closer, press your face to his chest.
The bedroom door opens, and a sleepy Taeil with messy hair comes inside. You can just barely see him through your eyelashes; can see him looking at you and Mark, then his gaze sweeps across the room to the crib in the corner and Mei’s little pink face scrunched up as she cries.
He crosses quietly to the crib, shuffling barefooted, his sweatpants dragging along the floor like socks.
You can’t see him from this angle but you can hear as he shushes Mei, cooing and making soft noises to soothe her. You can hear the rustling as he picks her up, the creak of wood as he settles down in the rocking chair. She keeps crying though, no matter how desperately Taeil tries to soothe her, and after a few minutes of that, you sit up in bed and look over at him.
He’s rocking in the chair, trying to get her to take the pacifier, but she keeps spitting it back out when it’s not giving her what she really wants.
You sigh and push out of bed. Taeil looks up at you.
“Unless you’ve got tits, Taeil, I don’t think she’s gonna calm down for you.” You stand beside him, push your fingers into his hair.
“I thought you were asleep,” he whispers back to you. He doesn’t look away from Mei, just keeps looking down at her puckered face.
Your fingers slide down from his hair to the back of his neck, resting gently there. “I can’t sleep. I just keep thinking about what your fans are saying.”
Taeil looks up at you then, a frown drawing his eyebrows tightly together. “You don’t need to look at what they’re saying. Our managers have already said that we’re going to have a big PR meeting probably tomorrow so our company can put out a statement. But you don’t need to worry about anything. You’re safe here.”
Mei lets out another piercingly loud cry from such a small baby, and you reach for her. Taeil hands her up to you easily, then he stands, gesturing for you to sit in the chair. You don’t even think about it as you move your top to bare your breast for Mei to latch onto, but Taeil makes a short noise, and when you look up at him, he’s looking away, rubbing at the back of his head like he’s embarrassed.
You try to hide your smile. “You’re all so funny about this, you know. Half of you get embarrassed to look at my boobs now. You’ve seen them before, Taeil.”
“I know that.” He mumbles, and you swear if there were a bit more light in the room, you’d be able to see that he was blushing. “I just have really been missing you lately, you know? It’s been a while.”
Taeil tries his best to keep his eyes on your face when he turns to you then, but you watch as his gaze inevitably falls to your breast. But there his gaze seems to soften at the sight of Mei’s dark little head nestled there.
Taeil sinks to his knees. “It’s all different now, you know? She’s here now, and she’s so tiny and perfect. Everything’s just.... centered differently.”
You know exactly what he means. Before Mei there were so many things--things to do, places to go, people to go see and talk to, and meaningless things to fill your time with, boyfriends to go fuck around with--and now there’s Mei and she’s just got you so wrapped up with her, none of those things feel like they matter. It’s just you and her, like your whole little world.
“I don’t think it really matters that WinWin’s her real dad.” Taeil reaches one finger up and strokes the back of Mei’s tiny hand. “Isn’t there a saying that it takes a village to raise a child? Well, here we are. Your whole village to help raise Mei. Our Mingmei. I know that it’s not going to be easy to be here sometimes, and that there’s no way of telling what the future holds for all of us, but I want to be here. I love you. I adore Mei.” Taeil’s expression is so soft as he says that; his eyes are moist looking at you and your daughter then, and after another moment he sinks back to sit on the floor, and he turns his face away, hiding as he tries to hastily wipe away his tears.
“I don’t want you to go anywhere either, Taeil. I’ve said it before, but if Mei could have all of you as her father, that’s what I would wish.” You smile down at her. “Imagine having a dozen fathers to show up and be there any time she needs support, protection, encouragement.”
Taeil sits up then, resting a hand on your knee reassuringly. “We will be here to protect her. Especially right now.” He shakes his head, his brows set in determination. “After you came up here, Doyoung was showing us some more of what they were saying, and I swear to you, we will not let any of them near you. Ever. But there were some great things people were saying.”
You’d seen a few of those during your deep dive. Fans saying that you seemed lovely--both visually in the pictures, and then also the few fans that had stories about seeing you out with the boys had said that you had sounded sweet--and fans defending you, defending the boys, reporting accounts threatening violence toward you or Mei. There were fans gushing over the boys as fathers, fans going wild thinking about aesthetic baby pics that some of them might post on their Instagrams.
There were definitely some wonderful things you’d seen, but it was hard to focus on those when there was so much negativity inspiring fear and anxiety and terrible things in you.
By the time Mei finishes nursing, even you are finally starting to feel tired. Taeil takes her from you as you attempt to pull your shirt back into place, and he paces around the room, singing quietly, patting her back to burp her. You just sit there in the rocking chair, rocking back and forth, your eyes feeling heavier and heavier as you watch Taeil and listen to him.
You don’t even realize that you’ve dipped off, not until there’s fingers on your shoulder and on your cheek, a quiet voice calling your name.
“Hmm?” You open your eyes.
Taeil, smiling sleepily too. “You should get in bed, my love. Mei’s fine,” he explains when you sit up suddenly and look around. “She fell asleep, so I put her back down. Come on, into bed.” He helps you cross the few feet to the bed, his hand in yours, and once you’ve slid back in between the covers, your head once more on the pillow, Taeil smooths hand over your hair, and leans in to whisper, “Goodnight,” and he places a loving kiss on your forehead.
You’re asleep before you can remember to mumble a sweet “goodnight” back to him.
Maybe it was a mistake telling your boyfriends that the doctor had approved and even encouraged the use of multiple languages with Mei. Because after you tell them that, then you rarely hear the Chinese members speak in anything other than Chinese to her. Yuta almost exclusively reads and sings and speaks to her in Japanese. Johnny, Mark, and even sometimes Jaehyun and Ten speak English to Mei. You even catch Xiaojun singing in Cantonese to her.
Mei looks up at him, waving her arms and legs, cooing happily as he leans on the side of her crib to sing to her.
“What are you doing?” You ask, sliding up beside him, one arm curling around his waist, your cheek resting on his shoulder. “She’s going to be so confused when she’s older if you speak to her in Mandarin and Cantonese, Jun.” You brush your lips in a light kiss to his exposed shoulder.
“She’s going to be smart,” Xiaojun responds quickly. “Going to speak five languages by the time she’s five, and put all of us to shame with her brain.” You feel him kiss you on the top of your head. “Were you still on for coming with WinWin, Ten, and I later?”
It’s been a few weeks since the rumors first struck. Their PR team put out a statement, claiming that you were just a staff member and close friend of the group who happened to have a baby. A lot of fans had backed off, but you were still a little wary about leaving the house unless it was necessary. You’d only left for appointments, and then to go meet up with your parents once for them to fawn over their granddaughter.
“I don’t know, Xiaojun. Your fans are still watching us.” You step away from him.
Lately there’s been a heightened presence of sasaengs around the boys. You’d even noticed one following you on your way to the last appointment you’d had with your doctor—one where you’d been cleared to return to work (if you wanted that) and to resume sexual activities (though she did advise that you take it easy, so no rough sex, no orgies)—and you’d been lucky to find that an old friend of yours was acting as a courier, and he was in the doctor’s office dropping something off right as you were leaving. He’d walked out with you, and though he was working, he did walk with you and make sure that the sasaeng stopped following.
Xiaojun turns away from the crib to follow you, his fingers catching on your sleeve, sliding down over your hand. “Hey, babe. Look, I know that lately we’ve been under more surveillance than normal. I’ve seen what they’re saying online, people still doubting the story that our team put out, but that doesn’t mean that you need to withdraw from us.” Xiaojun strokes the back of your hand until you turn it over and he laces his fingers through yours. “Come out with us tonight. Let Kun or Jaehyun or one of them watch Mei, and come have fun.”
You glance uncertainly over at Mei’s crib. “I don’t know....”
You haven’t left Mei yet, not for any extended period of time, not for longer than a shower or a quick snack in the kitchen along with a handjob for Johnny. Leaving her for two or three hours, that just doesn’t sound like something you’re ready for yet.
“I’ll think about it.” You tell him.
Xiaojun lets out a happy sound, and then he cups your face between his hands, and pulls you into a quick kiss. “Please say yes. We’re just going to see a movie. And whoever watches her will have to deal with Jaehyun probably hovering protectively right at his shoulder the whole time. She’ll be fine.” He pecks you on the lips again, and this time you twist your fingers in the bottom of his top, lean in on your toes, and kiss him again.
Xiaojun makes a pleasant sound, his fingers slide into your hair, angling your mouth against his. You want to push this a little further, want to feel his bare skin against yours, feel the pleasure that you haven’t felt for weeks and weeks now.
He smiles into the kiss as you push your hands up under his top, moving up his chest. He almost giggles when you feel up his pecs. Xiaojun pulls back just a little, pecking you on the lips playfully amidst his giggles, before pressing back in fully.
You can do this, you tell yourself. Your doctor cleared you for sex again, and you know that Xiaojun will be gentle with you, that he’s a good choice to be your first time again. This will be fine.
When you drop your hands from his chest, slipping your fingertips beneath the waistband of his pants, Xiaojun slows down as if he’s a little confused by you initiating this. And when you touch his dick, he backs off and his eyebrows draw together in confusion. “Are you... Are you sure?”
“Mmmh.” You nod. “My doctor finally cleared me. I’m good as long as we take it a little slow.”
Xiaojun’s smile returns, and he cocks his head to the side a little and looks you up and down. “So I should treat you like a virgin, right? Take it easy and slow?”
You whine. “Don’t tease me, Xiaojun.”
“No, I won’t.” He kisses you sweetly. “But are you sure? You want to do this now? Here?”
Mei’s just right over in the corner, unknowingly looking up at the mobile spinning over her head, unaware of what’s going on here. It does feel a little bit weird, but she won’t know. She won’t have a clue what’s going on.
“I’m sure.” You nod. “Well, I’m sure that I at least want to see how far we can go. I just,” you sigh, “feel like we’ll be interrupted by one thing or another. A baby, a boyfriend, discomfort. Something. But yes.”
“We’ll figure it out.” Xiaojun bounces a little eagerly and excitedly on his toes. “God, I really want you.”
You kind of love that Xiaojun doesn’t rush you at all even after he says that. He doesn’t push you to hurry into anything, is content with just lying in your bed and making out, letting your hands wander over his bare arms, delving into his hair, slipping through the large cutouts at his sides to scrape your nails lightly over his back or his abs or his chest. He doesn’t try to get you to touch him lower down his body even when you can feel how hard he is against your thigh. Xiaojun lets you take it all at your own pace, lets you pull his hands under your shirt.
You’re feeling more confident with your body now than you were even just a few weeks ago. You’ve looked at mommy forums online, and they say that it’s not uncommon to feel negatively about your body for quite a while after birth, but you’re happier now.
So when Xiaojun touches your belly, as he lifts your shirt up over your chest, you don’t feel embarrassed at all. You feel the heat of lust burning in your belly, your skin flushed with heat even as cool air touches your chest.
“Fuck, so pretty. I’ve missed you like this,” Xiaojun groans, breaking away from your lips to kiss your neck, then skipping down to your chest, the mound of your tits in your bra. His thigh slips between your knees, his lips dance over your chest, and you can’t help the breathy little sounds that spill from your lips.
You clap a hand over your mouth.
“Don’t be shy,” Xiaojun chuckles. “You make such pretty noises, babe. Let me hear them.”
You obediently drop your hand, sliding your fingers into his hair instead as Xiaojun keeps kissing your chest, and his hand finally slips down into your panties.
“Ah!” The little gasped sound escapes your lips when Xiaojun’s finger glides over your clit.
He grinds subtly against your thigh, and moans softly, lifting his head from your chest and kisses you again.
It’s been so long since you were touched like this, that it’s literally seconds before Xiaojun is smirking at just how wet you’ve grown. He sticks with touching your clit, kissing away all the sweet sounds you’re making, until you start moving with him, rocking your hips up and looking for more than just the touches to your clit.
Xiaojun moves down to kiss at your neck, and as he does that, he slips a finger inside you.
You moan loudly, your hand flying down to grip at Xiaojun’s forearm, not to stop him but just to hold on to him as he fingers you. It doesn’t hurt or anything, it’s a bit uncomfortable after everything your vagina went through just a little over a month and a half ago. But it still feels so good.
Your fingernails dig into his skin just as his teeth nip at your throat, his cock rubs against your thigh, and Xiaojun makes a muffled sound against your neck. You let go of his wrist, snaking your hand inside his pants to touch his cock, to help him feel good too.
“Wait,” he mumbles, “I feel like this should be about you.”
“Very chivalrous of you, but I kinda want you to enjoy this too.” You try to keep going, but Xiaojun stops, sits up, and pulls his hand entirely out of your pants, then grabs your wrist and removes your hand from his pants as well. You pout up at him.
He looks away from you, up at the ceiling. “Please don’t give me that look.”
“Then come touch me some more.” You reach for his waistband.
Xiaojun bats your hand away, and moves down the bed. “I’m going to, but, babe, I want the focus to be on you. I don’t care about me right now because I guarantee I had an orgasm more recently than you. So, please, just let me make you feel good first.”
You really can’t argue with that.
“Okay. Fine, do with me what you will.” You spread out your arms and legs, dramatically going limp.
Xiaojun rolls his eyes affectionately. “Can I take your pants off?”
You lift up your hips to help him slide your pants off, then he kneels up over you, pulling the shirt up over your head.
He sinks back down to sit on his heels and drinks in the sight of you before him.
You wonder if he’s thinking of the last time he had you like this, because you know that you are. It’s been months and months since the last time that you and Xiaojun were alone together like this, taking the time to appreciate and take each other apart. It was shortly after you learned you were pregnant, you’d spent the whole morning in bed together, getting each other off; you’d spent at least half an hour kissing his entire body, sucking his cock, praising his body.
“Fuck, I love you,” he sighs, and falls over you again, his body covering yours as he captures you in a kiss once more. Xiaojun slips a hand under your back, and you feel his fingers fumble for a second or two with the clasp on the back of your bra before it releases. You sigh in comfortable relief, and reach up to pull the straps down your arms, freeing yourself of the bra entirely.
You hold your breath as Xiaojun starts to kiss down your body—trailing burning kisses down your throat, between your breasts, down your belly, and at last he reaches the edge of your panties.
His nose nudges against your clit through the material, and when Xiaojun places the gentlest of kisses right over your pussy, your breath catches in your throat before shaking its way free. He lifts his head so he can see your face as he finally removes the last piece of clothing on your body.
The last time you were this naked in front of one of your boyfriends was when you showered with Jaehyun before you found out WinWin was Mei’s father. Almost two months ago.
When you feel his breath on your bare, wet pussy, all you can do is close your eyes, bite your bottom lip, and pray that he’s about to eat you out. You want so badly to really, truly get your pussy eaten the way that hasn’t been done in a long time.
And right as Xiaojun grants your nonverbal wish, his tender lips kissing your clit, a new voice of doubt enters your mind.
What if you look different down there? Or smell or taste different?
You haven’t really taken much time to pay attention to if giving birth altered how your pussy looks. You have no idea if you’re going to taste different. You’re only kinda sure that you don’t smell different. And what if it doesn’t feel right when he eats you out anymore? You’ve read that sex might feel different after the baby, and you’ve always loved Xiaojun eating you out. Him and WinWin are two of your favorites when it comes to oral.
You just start doubting all of this, thinking and worrying, so even as Xiaojun’s doing his best down there, you’re not giving him any reactions. Not until he pulls back and looks up at your face to ask, “Does it not feel good?”
“I’m sorry.” You groan, rubbing a hand over your face. “I think I’m just... thinking too much.”
“Relax.” Xiaojun puts a hand on your thigh, massaging gently. “You don’t need to think about anything, don’t worry or stress.”
He’s probably right. You don’t need to worry about any of that stuff. He’s clearly not turned off by what he’s faced with down there right now, as he’s already diving back in to sweep his tongue against you. You just need to relax, to sink into the pleasure of what he’s doing, and forget everything else but just that.
Easier said than done, honestly, but you do try.
Xiaojun sets to work on fucking you open on his middle finger again, his tongue at your clit. Slowly, it does start to feel really good; you get out of your mind and just relax into the pleasure, your body taking over, moving with Xiaojun. A second finger joins the first, and soon he’s even got a third finger pumping inside you, his lips sucking at your clit.
You twist your head to the side and bite at your upper arm to keep your moans in check as your orgasm quickly rises. Your chest heaves, whines leaking out even though you try to keep quiet, and Xiaojun lifts his head.
“You look so sexy right now. Are you going to cum on my fingers, babe?” Xiaojun moans a little, sitting up on his knees so he can kiss at your belly, then a little higher up your chest. His lips brush against your breasts, and you shudder from the small burst of pleasure that gives you. His hips dip down, hard cock grinding against your leg, and his three fingers push in deep inside you, stretching you so your pussy really feels it in the best way.
“Fuck, Dejun. Deeper.” Your hands fly to his shoulders, fingertips digging in. “I want you to make me....”
He drops back down, face dipping once more between your legs. With his free hand he pushes at your thigh, trying to get you to spread your legs even farther apart. His tongue flicks over your clit, fingers pressing inside you. The knot in your belly grows tighter, the warm tingling of pleasure building higher and higher, and you feel so close, your body growing hotter, orgasm just within reach the air itself feeling like it’s sparkling around you.
Xiaojun sucks your clit between his lips, his fingers press in right against your G-spot, and just like that your orgasm unleashes.
Your toes curl, body arching up, hips rolling against his mouth, and the guttural sighs and moans that leave your mouth are barely muffled as you bite at your lip in an attempt to keep them in. Your chest rises and falls and feels damp, your whole body warm and shaky and you feel like you’re sweating, but it’s different.
Xiaojun licks you through the throes of ecstasy, only backing off and pulling his fingers out when your hips have eased back down against the bed and you’re whining, thighs twitching on either side of his ears.
And it’s then that you open your eyes from where they were squeezed shut.
Xiaojun’s face is the first thing you see, his wondrous gaze locked on your chest. “Is that your milk?” He asks. And for the first time you realize that your chest doesn’t just feel damp, doesn’t just feel sweaty from that mind-blowing orgasm, your breasts have leaked out breastmilk during that orgasm.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry.” You cover your face in embarrassment. “Oh my god, I just, god, didn’t know that would happen.”
Xiaojun just laughs. “It’s fine. It’s kinda hot, honestly.”
“Right, my boobs squirting is very attractive.” You can’t convince yourself to pull your hands away from your face. Not until you feel Xiaojun’s tongue on your skin. “You are not licking up my breast milk, are you?” You lift your head to look down at him.
Xiaojun freezes and makes eye contact with you. His tongue hasn’t yet reached where your breast milk has leaked down to. So he pulls his tongue back inside his mouth. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it. It’s just breastmilk, right? What’s the possible harm?”
It’s not like you’ve never heard of this before. You’d read in forums and stuff about mother’s tasting their own breastmilk, fathers tasting their wife or girlfriend’s breastmilk. You’d even read about someone letting their friends, brothers, and more try it. You think that one’s a bit strange, but you can’t deny that you had tasted a little bit of yours yourself one morning out of curiosity. And while you were pregnant Jungwoo had confessed his interest in it.
You just hadn’t expected Xiaojun to be into this.
“I mean, you can if you want to, I guess.” You drop your head back down onto the bed.
Xiaojun’s tongue touches your skin again, and it feels so nice. And then his mouth is on your tits, gentle lips and tongue lapping at the spilled breastmilk. Your pussy starts to throb again with arousal as Xiaojun’s tongue races right up to the edge of your nipple, and then he stops.
You groan and lift your head to look at him again, and just as your eyes meet, Xiaojun flicks his tongue over your nipple, lapping at the damp peak.
It’s certainly not a whimper that leaves your lips.
Xiaojun laughs, and then he does it all over again; his warm tongue tracing over your chest on the other side, though this time he takes his time with your breast, and upon reaching your nipple, he closes his lips briefly around the nipple to flick his tongue at the hardened bud. It’s weird feeling it like this, so different from before when they would lick and suck at your nipples during sex, but also a lot different too than when Mei does it.
You feel like you should not be deriving sexual pleasure from one of your boyfriends basically nursing from you—breastmilk flowing from your nipple into his mouth—but Xiaojun doesn’t stop. In fact, he also seems to be getting off from it. His hips roll against the bed, grinding down into the mattress. He moans, brings one hand up to the side of your breast, gently massaging as he continues with this.
“Fuck me,” you sigh, a plea and a sound of pleasure. And Xiaojun obeys, pulling away from you just long enough to push his pants down and kick them off the foot of the bed, and then he’s back, hips cradled between your thighs. You knot your fingers in the front of his shirt, “Now.”
Xiaojun is gentle and slow, tenderly stroking your thigh as he enters you. He leaves little kisses on your throat and your chest, and it’s only when he starts shallowly rocking into you that he lowers his mouth to your chest and once again starts laving his attention on your tits.
It’s not terrible, just a little uncomfortable. There’s a dull ache that’s not pleasant at all as he thrusts into you, and even though you can tell Xiaojun’s holding back, just trying to make you feel good. And you can feel it—the pleasure is right there through a thin veil of discomfort, and you know if you can just get past that then this will be great. Sweet love-making with Xiaojun would be perfect.
You slide your hands over his back, dipping your fingers beneath his shirt to scrape lightly over his shoulders, and Xiaojun moans. He loses a little bit of restraint, thrusting deeper and a little harder, and there you find the pleasure.
“More,” you moan.
Xiaojun nuzzles against your breast, his lips closed around your nipple as he moans, tasting you on his tongue, feeling you warm and wet around his cock. You’re not surprised that he might not last long. Not surprised when he moans again and draws his hips back, cock leaving you empty as he cums across your belly, still suckling at your tit.
You cradle a hand against the back of his head, your eyes flutter closed, and you think you could let this sweet pleasure overwhelm you again, take you into another orgasm, to peaceful bliss.
The door opens suddenly (why do they never seem to know how to knock when you’re in the middle of something?) and there, framed in the doorway, stand Jungwoo and WinWin.
Xiaojun lifts his head slowly, his lips releasing your tit as he turns his wide-eyed gaze to his members. There’s a small hint of breastmilk on his bottom lip.
There’s no possible way to deny what just happened.
For one thing, you’re lying fully nude beneath Xiaojun. His face was just buried against your chest. Both of you are fully flushed in the face. He looks dazed, horny, and (as you just noted) there’s breastmilk on his bottom lip.
WinWin and Jungwoo stare at both of you in silence for a long moment that finally breaks when WinWin shakes his head and marches inside, heading straight over to the crib.
Mei’s still happily oblivious to what’s been going on. WinWin scoops her up, cradling her in his arms, and as he turns to face you on the bed, he shields her little face from the sight of you and Xiaojun with his hand. His voice is somewhat amused, somewhat scandalized, as he asks, “In front of our daughter?”
Xiaojun rolls to the edge of the bed and sits upright, tries to cover up with the edge of the duvet cover, and then folds his hands in his lap. But when he notices that Jungwoo’s staring at him—most notably, staring at his mouth—he quickly wipes at his lips and chin, smearing away the last of the evidence of what he’d just been doing.
You sit up as well, dragging a blanket over your lap, folding your arms in front of your breasts. “In my defense, there’s absolutely no way that she knows what just happened.”
WinWin shakes his head, trying to look disapproving, but you can see the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile as he looks back down at Mei. “So does this mean that you’re cleared again?” He asks. “Doctor says you can have sex?”
You nod, looking around at him, at the back of Xiaojun’s head where he’s facing away from you, at Jungwoo still framed in the doorway and gazing in awe at you and Xiaojun. “Yeah, just nothing really intense or rough. So no orgies for a while. Her actual words.”
“Good to know.” WinWin wiggles his fingers in front of Mei’s face, and she knocks around one of her little fists, as if she’s trying to grasp his fingers in front of her. He can’t pull his eyes away from her as he says, “I’m pretty sure I owe you some kind of great thank you for this gift right here.”
He starts walking toward the door again, and Jungwoo even steps out of the way to let him pass, so you ask, “Where are you going with her?”
“I’m going to spend a little quality time with my daughter,” WinWin says, and if life were a cartoon then his pupils would be heart-shaped as Mei grips onto one of his fingers right then. “You and Xiaojun can finish up here. Clean up before we go to the movie tonight.” His gaze finally lifts from your daughter, flicking in Xiaojun’s direction.
Xiaojun starts to say something in response, but WinWin’s already ducked out of sight of the doorway, leaving Jungwoo still standing there.
He doesn’t move, even as Xiaojun stands and starts to gather his pants and underwear from where he’s kicked them. Jungwoo just stares at you, at your bare tits. You can kind of guess what he’s thinking, and right as Xiaojun’s shimmying his pants back into place, Jungwoo asks, “Does it taste alright?”
Xiaojun freezes, glancing between you and Jungwoo.
You don’t really care what his answer is. It’s breastmilk, it’s not meant for him anyway, so you don’t think his opinion on it really matters. Instead of intently listening to him, you climb out of bed, turning your back on your boyfriends to get dressed.
“It’s not bad. Wouldn’t be my first choice of drink, but I’m not going to pretend like I wouldn’t definitely do that again.” Xiaojun sounds so pleased with himself as he says it, and you roll your eyes affectionately, carrying your clothes in your arms into the bathroom to shower, leaving Xiaojun and Jungwoo out there to discuss your breasts and your milk. You need to shower and get ready for the first date you’ll have in months.
Once the others realize that you’re open to having sex again, you’ve got a parade of boyfriends trying to get between your legs again. Or at least, after hearing about what WinWin and Jungwoo had walked in on, they keep asking to taste your breastmilk.
Self-consciously, you cross your arms over your chest as Mark’s folded himself onto the end of your bed and just asked you in a very serious voice, “So can I have a taste too?”
“Mark, shut the fuck up.” Yuta’s sitting right beside you, holding Mei who’s just looking up at him and smiling. She’s been doing that a lot lately, making this absolutely adorable smile that has every single person in this house wrapped around her tiny fingers. “If you want to taste it just go get in the minifridge.” Yuta jerks his head over to the set up you’ve got tucked in the corner beside the rocking chair, now that you’re pumping milk just so you don’t have to get your tits out every time that Mei cries for food.
“Do not drink Mei’s supply, Mark Lee.” You get up, and as you walk toward the end of the bed, you reach up to ruffle your fingers through Mark’s hair. “You boys are all so weird. Every one that’ve had a taste say it’s weird, so why do you keep asking. You don’t even eat yogurt, Mark, what do you think breastmilk is going to do to you?”
Yuta snickers.
Mark laughs too, and you smile as you rest your hand on his head. He tilts back to meet your gaze.
And then you hear it.
Your head snaps toward Yuta and Mei. You feel Mark go still beneath you. Yuta’s frozen in surprise.
You hear it again.
“Is she laughing?” You climb back onto the bed, crawling up toward the head.
Mei’s tiny little body, her smiling face. She’s laughing. And if you’ve ever had a favorite sound, it is this. Your daughter’s little giggle. She’s three and a half months old, and this is the funniest thing in her whole life.
You’re still fawning over her and the cute sounds she makes when WinWin gets home.
He always comes up to see Mei first thing when he gets home, even if it’s super late, even if he’s already extremely tired. Even if he’s fresh off a fifteen hour long shoot, he pops through the door of your bedroom.
“Sicheng!” You look up, unable to lose your grin. “Babe! Come here! She laughed!”
He looks confused for just a split second, and then Haechan (who had come into the room looking for Mark) does something and Mei laughs again.
WinWin’s face goes soft with surprise and awe, and then he lights up. Yuta’s still holding her, but he gives her up easily when WinWin makes grabby hands at his daughter. WinWin immediately hugs her and you can see Mei smiling like the happiest little baby.
For the first time since you saw her, right now as you look at the way she’s looking at her father, you realize that Mei is like a real little human. Like, on some level you’ve known that this whole time. You’ve known it since you first felt her move inside you, since you heard her first cry, since you spent all night watching her breathe.
After a little while, the others drift away, making excuses to leave, and then it’s just you and WinWin with your daughter. You scoot close beside him so you can rest your head on his shoulder, looking down at Mei cradled in his arms. Her eyelids are growing heavy, a pacifier between her lips now.
“Sometimes, when I first wake up in the morning,” WinWin says in a hushed tone, “Sometimes I think that this has all just been a dream. That I’m going to roll over, get up, and we’re going to be back where we were a year ago, before we even knew you were pregnant, and in that moment after just waking up, my heart drops. And I think that it was such a good dream.” He sighs.
Mei’s eyes fall shut, and WinWin looks down at her.
“I can’t imagine my life without her.” WinWin admits. “I hope you know that. The day I got that test result, best day of my life. I just.... I can’t even describe....”
“I understand.” You sit up a bit and kiss his cheek. “And I’m happy you’re her dad. I don’t know if I’ve ever actually said those words to you. But you’re so good at this.”
“So you’re saying I’m the best boyfriend?” WinWin smiles over at you, and judging by the way that his gaze briefly flicks past your face, over your shoulder toward where the door to your bedroom is, you assume one of the others has come to call, and WinWin’s looking to irritate whoever it is. He meets your gaze again as he says, “You’re saying that all along you wished I would be the dad, and you were just playing along with Jaehyun’s fantasies of him potentially being the dad.”
You look over and see Jaehyun leaning in the doorway, arms folded across his chest.
Honestly your mouth waters at the sight. He looks like he’s ready for climbing into bed and staying there. Shirtless and wearing sweatpants, hair pushed back with a headband.
“I’m glad Mei’s your daughter, WinWin. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to make Jaehyun a daddy too.” You trace your gaze down the length of Jaehyun’s body, barely able to contain yourself.
“Alright,” WinWin groans. “I guess that’s my cue to take our daughter and go. You look like you’re about to jump him, baby.”
“You don’t have to go.” You kneel up on your bed when WinWin stands up to go.
He shakes his head. “I’m not staying here with her while you eye-fuck Jaehyun.” He looks the other man up and down. “Have fun. Looks like you could both use it.” WinWin pats Jaehyun on the shoulder as they pass each other, and you watch WinWin leaving the room, holding Mei to his shoulder, kissing her head softly.
The softness you feel at that sight wars entirely with the lust you feel when Jaehyun slinks into your bed.
One knee lands between yours, a hand to your shoulder gently presses you back, and then Jaehyun’s over top of you, his lips press against yours. It feels so good to just kiss him, to feel his body on yours, all heat and hard planes. You love the soft little grunt of pleasure he makes against your lips when you trail a hand down his chest, fingers brushing over his nipple. You love the amused sound of surprise he makes when you suddenly push him over, rolling him beneath you.
Jaehyun’s hair’s grown long over these last several weeks, and now it flares out on the bed in a not-entirely-flattering manner. But you sit on his hips, reach forward to pluck the headband from his hair, and you toss it aside so you can run your fingers freely through his hair as you sink back in to kiss him some more.
“Did you mean what you said?” Jaehyun moans a few moments later as you begin to helplessly shift your hips. “About wanting to make me a daddy too?”
“Mmmh.” You kiss down his throat. “I would gladly give you a baby, I think. You clearly want one all your own.”
Jaehyun puts a hand to your shoulder, applying gentle pressure to get you to stop for just a moment. “Hey, look at me.”
You lift your head from his throat.
When Jaehyun’s eyes are looking right into yours, he says, “I want you to know that I am perfectly happy with Mei as my daughter. You know that, right?” You start to sink back down to get back to what you were doing, but Jaehyun catches your chin between his fingers. “I don’t want you to think that you, like, owe me a biological baby, okay? I know I always talk about this breeding kink thing, but in the end it’s just that, just a kinky thing. Of course, I would love to have a baby with you, but I don’t want you to feel obligated, okay? Tell me you know that.”
“I know, Jae.” You peck him on the lips. “But I want to make you happy too. And I don’t think I want to stop with just one kid. Especially when I see how you all dote on her. You’re all really amazing dads.”
Jaehyun chuckles, shaking his hand still holding your chin a little. “Don’t you miss our days of doting on you? Spoilt baby.” He flips things back over, sweeping your hands up over your head, pinning your wrists against the mattress. “Want me to spoil you again, princess?”
Warmth blooms through you, tingling down to your fingertips and toes as Jaehyun looks at you and talks to you like that. His hand dives under your shirt, pushing it higher up your chest until your bra is exposed; one flick of his wrist and the nursing bra you’re wearing falls apart, and your breasts are freed for him.
“Jaehyun, please.” Your breathy whine does exactly what you want.
Jaehyun, with one hand still pinning your wrists above your head, lowers his mouth to your breast. His other hand dips inside the shorts you’re wearing, inside your panties too. You gasp and arch into his touch as he grazes your clit. So enamored are you by the things he’s making you feel, that you don’t notice at first when he removes his hand from your wrist. It’s only as you feel your shorts and panties being tugged down that you realize your hands are free, but you leave them together above your head as Jaehyun pulls his mouth from you and shimmies your shorts away.
“God, you’re so fucking sexy.” Jaehyun sinks down low, lying on his belly between your legs. His hands press against your thighs, getting you to spread open a little farther. He leans up to kiss your belly just below your navel, right where the butterflies are going wild in your gut.
Sure, Xiaojun ate you out when you had sex with him, and you’ve fucked a couple of the others since that, but you haven’t had Jaehyun’s tongue on you in what feels like ages. Definitely for several months. So seeing him between your legs like this has really stirred you up, and you can feel yourself dripping more just thinking about his tongue and sweet lips on your pussy.
“Gonna make you cum until you can’t take anymore.” Jaehyun murmurs, kissing lower, his breath fanning over your wetness. “I love spoiling you, baby. Just let me know if it gets to be too much.”
And then there he is, fingers spreading your labia apart to give him direct access to suck your clit between his lips. You can’t stand how well Jaehyun knows you, how he knows exactly every move to make right now to get you to cum quickest. He buries his face against you, eating you out with such intensity and devotion that you’re lightheaded even before your first orgasm crashes over you. And it doesn’t stop there. Waves of pleasure as Jaehyun keeps licking your pussy, fucking you with his tongue, making vibrations to carry you through it by moaning as you drip on his tongue.
When Jaehyun sharply sucks your clit back into his mouth after that second orgasm, you squeeze your thighs around his head, and you whine, “Too much, Jae. Back off.”
He does slowly pull himself up onto his knees, lifting a hand to drag it back across his mouth, though he still licks his lips again.
“Good, princess? You only came twice. Don’t you want more?” As he shifts a little, you notice the tent in the front of his sweatpants. Immediately you want to offer to jerk him off or blow him, but you know that Jaehyun is just as likely to turn that down, to go shower and take care of himself instead, so you entice him the only way that you know for certain will have him staying.
You spreak your legs apart again. “I’m not finished. I want you inside me. Told you I want to have your baby too, didn’t I?”
“Stop. This is about you. Not me.” Jaehyun says, but he’s already got a hand on your hip, is already rolling you onto your belly. “Want to get on your knees, precious?”
You lift your ass up, cheek still against the bed, and Jaehyun slicks his fingers against your pussy, giving you just his fingertips before they disappear again, his fingers damp on your hips instead. You bite your lip to hold in the pathetic whimper that you almost made as you grind back against his fingers, pressing back until you feel the soft material covering his thighs bumping against your bare skin. His erection fits against your ass.
“Ah, shit.” Jaehyun moans, his hips pushing forward involuntarily.
“I need you, Jaehyun. I’ve missed your cock. It’s been so long since I had you inside me, remember?” You’re sure you’re creating a damp spot on the front of his pants, continuing to grind back against his erection. “Please fuck me, Jae. Please, Daddy?”
Jaehyun’s not always big on the daddy kink thing. That’s mostly Kun, occasionally Doyoung when he’s really feeling it. But from time to time, you’ve called Jaehyun daddy, and he’s loved it. Just as he does now.
You can feel him fumbling quickly with his pants, pushing them down around his thighs, his hands going back to your ass, thumbs spreading your cheeks so he can see as his desperately hard cock presses against your entrance and then as he pushes inside.
Jaehyun moans, swearing and sounding so lovely as he feels your warm vagina around him for the first time since the beginning of the year, like eight months almost. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good around me.”
“Yeah, Daddy?” You turn your head to the side, trying to get a look at Jaehyun’s face. “You missed my pussy?”
“Haven’t we all?” His hands slip from your ass to your hips, holding tightly as he starts thrusting into you. “Heard you keep telling most of them no when they come drooling after you, baby. Waiting for someone special? Only want Daddy’s cock to fill you up?”
He’s mostly right. Ever since Xiaojun, you’ve messed around with several of them. Johnny had come to you begging for attention as the one handjob you’d given him had been distracted and hurried. Kun and you had had a quick roll around the other morning, which ended with his fingers inside you and your hand down his pants. There was the moment when Jungwoo had sat there watching you try to nurse Mei, but when it turned out that she wasn’t hungry although your tits were hurting with the need to get the milk out, and he’d eagerly volunteered to help you with that instead of you having to sit there with the breast pump which was just annoying to have to deal with. You’d sat in his lap with his face buried against your tits, and after he’d had his fill, looking dazed and horny, you laid back on the bed for him so he could jerk off over your chest before licking it clean again.
For the most part, you’ve not engaged in actual penetrative sex with any of the guys since Xiaojun, but a couple weeks after that, you did share a single glass of wine with Doyoung, and it went straight to your head, making you feel all giddy and buzzy, so when Doyoung got you to your feet to go bed, you’d dragged him into a kiss. The kiss also went straight to your head, pulling and tugging Doyoung all the way into your bedroom with you, through the bathroom door, into the shower. It felt so good to have him in you again, moving against you, pinning you against the cool tile wall of the shower, water racing down your bodies and streaming between your lips as you kissed.
You’d had sex with Yuta too, convincing him to stay in bed with you one morning. He’d woken hard, your name on his lips, and as soon as he realized, Yuta hurried to climb from bed, to go take care of it himself, but you’d caught his arm and asked him to stay. Yuta was worried about hurting you, concerned about Mei in the corner. But she was already gone as it was actually quite late in the morning. You’d already fed her, and Taeil had taken her downstairs when he left your room. So you welcome Yuta into you, and he’s not normally so tender and romantic in bed. You know him better by the rough passion, each time normally touching on one of his kinks, but this time had been sweet and gentle, taking you apart second by second until you unraveled beneath him. He’d left afterwards, pressing a kiss to your forehead and promising he’d be back with breakfast in bed.
But, Jaehyun was mostly right about you waiting for his cock. The few times you’ve had sex again, none of them had cum inside of you for one reason or another, and you know that if you tell him that now, it’ll really satisfy Jaehyun’s jealousy and his breeding kink, thinking that he’s the only one allowed to cum in you now.
“Waiting for you, Daddy,” you moan, gasping for breath as his tip drags right against your G spot. “Been waiting for your cum. Please, Jaehyun.”
“Of course, baby. I’ll give it to you.” He thrusts in deep, reaches a hand up to tangle his fingers in your hair so he can pull you up from where your face has been planted against the mattress.
Now, you know that you’ve not been trying to hold your moans in much, and Jaehyun’s definitely not being quiet either, so you’re not too surprised when your eyes open as Jaehyun tugs on your hair, and you see that all of these sounds have drawn some attention.
Johnny and Mark stand watching in the doorway.
No orgies, your doctor’s voice echoes in your mind. She’d been joking, you know that, but right now, you don’t care about how serious or not she’d been. You just want. You don’t think you can handle three of them—sure, you’ve had more and worse before than just three at once, but it’s been a long time, and your body would definitely not be up to it, already after just the two orgasms back-to-back that Jaehyun gave you, you were feeling it. You can take maybe one or two more, but not more than that.
“Jae, please,” you moan, throwing your head back so you can see his face. “Please.”
He glances over at the two in the doorway. He jerks his head, and Mark and Johnny come closer. Mark’s gaze is fixed on Jaehyun’s cock disappearing inside you. Johnny’s watching the way Jaehyun’s fingers are knotted in your hair.
“Are you finally giving her the treat she deserves, Jae?” Johnny asks as he joins you on the bed, kneeling in front of you. “How does she feel?”
“Sweet.” Jaehyun’s hand winds tighter in your hair, drawing you up more until your back is pressed to his chest, and his lips brush your throat. “Our baby girl feels so sweet. Tastes sweet too.” His tongue swipes quickly at your skin.
Johnny starts touching you too; a hand between your legs to rub at your clit, another raised up to tweak one of your nipples. And when he leans in, his lips touching the other side of your neck from Jaehyun’s lips, you lose control of yourself.
You keen at the attention being laved on you, an orgasm rocking through you.
Jaehyun’s teeth close down on your sensitive skin. Johnny chuckles, continuing to rub your clit and kiss your neck as you keep shaking, your body too overstimulated now on your third orgasm, pressed between two boyfriends with them still touching you.
“Oh my God, it’s too much,” you moan, shaking. “Jaehyun, Johnny.”
“Guys.” For the first time since entering the room, Mark speaks. “Back off, look at her.”
It’s a lot but you’re still fine. It’s not more than you can handle, though you appreciate Mark’s concern. But you don’t appreciate when Johnny pulls away, when Jaehyun stops thrusting toward his own orgasm.
You shake your head. “No, keep going.” You reach back, fingernails digging into Jaehyun’s hip. “Please, Jaehyun, I told you I want you to cum in me. Keep going. I need it.”
“Love when you beg for it.” Jaehyun picks back up where he left off, chasing his orgasm, and it’s only another few moments before he’s cumming, the long-awaited heat of his orgasm spilling inside you. “Mmmh,” Jaehyun moans, “now you’re all mine, baby. Gonna give Mei a little sister or brother, right?” He kisses your neck and you shoulder, and as he pulls his hips back from yours, you can turn around in his arms, and he kisses you on the lips.
“Come on, when’s my turn?” Johnny asks, his voice teasing, his hands reaching for your hips. “I’ve missed you too.”
You break the kiss with Jaehyun, twisting around somewhat uncomfortably to bat Johnny’s hands away. “I can’t, Johnny. It’s already been too much, too quick. I shouldn’t have even done that much probably.” It’s not like that sex had been too wild or anything at all, just a bit rougher than the others have been since you were cleared for sex again, but you can already feel a dull ache setting into those muscles.
Johnny sighs and leans back against your pillows. You can see the bulge in the front of his pants, and it hurts you to know how much he wants you, to know that the most you can offer him right now is another handjob or a blowjob, but not what he wants. He looks at you for a long moment, considering, and then he sits up, pushes himself off the bed, and walks out the door.
You sink back against Jaehyun, and he wraps his arms around you. Mark’s still standing there, looking after Johnny, but as the door swings shut, Mark looks back at you and Jaehyun. You groan, reaching down to dip your fingers between your legs, the cum dripping out of you now. “I feel so gross now.”
Jaehyun lets go of you, flopping down onto his back, eyes fluttering shut. “We should take a nap. Mark, you joining?”
There’s just barely enough room for three people on your bed, but it doesn’t matter, because Mark shakes his head. “But if you feel gross, how does a bath sound?”
You nod.
Jaehyun makes a little noise, stretching out an arm to lay it over your lap possessively, keeping you there in bed with him.
Mark rolls his eyes a little. “You can join us, Jaehyun. That tub might be big enough to fit the three of us and your jealousy.”
Jaehyun opens his mouth to retort, but you quickly cover his mouth with your hand. “Let’s not argue. Let’s just relax with a soak in the bath, then we can go see what WinWin and Mei are up to.”
After Mark steps out to go run the bath, Jaehyun moves his arm away.
He’s lying there stark naked, not trying to cover up at all, and you once more find your gaze drawing attentively and appreciatively over his form from head to toe. But as you return to looking at his face, you find that he’s watching you, smiling and blushing ever-so-slightly.
“Enjoying the view?”
You reach over, pinching lightly one of his nipples. “Shut up. You know you’re handsome. I don’t need to tell you that. And also, you don’t need to act so jealously possessive when Mark offers me a bath, like you just fucked me so good, Jaehyun. If I thought I could’ve handled more I would have gladly begged you to keep going, would’ve let Johnny and Mark too.” You lean down so your face is right above his. Jaehyun blinks slowly, dazed by your sudden proximity, and he makes a soft pleasant humming sound when you kiss him. “Only would’ve let you cum in me, though,” you promise him.
Jaehyun grins, resting his hand against the back of your head as he brings you back down into another, longer kiss.
You’re still kissing when Mark pops his head out of the bathroom to tell you the bath is ready.
“Coming?” You ask Jaehyun.
He shakes his head, watching you slip off the bed. “Think I’ll go steal Mei from whoever’s got her. Maybe I’ll just go take a nap.” But he’s still in your bed when you close the bathroom door behind you.
The tub swirls with steam and bubbles, the air scented with vanilla. Mark’s already soaking in the tub, but he opens his eyes as you ease a foot into the water. “Where’s Jaehyun?” He asks, his eyes following each inch of your skin that sinks beneath the bubbles.
“Decided to go bother whoever has Mei.” You sigh as the bubbles brush your chin, the warm water enveloping you, already working magic to relax that ache you’re feeling. “This feels so nice.”
“It does.” Mark’s hand brushes your arm beneath the water, circling around so he can pull you closer and closer until you’re sitting with your back to his chest.
“This is nicer,” you sigh, leaning you head back as Mark kisses the side of your head. “Relaxing.”
His hand slides down to yours, twisting your fingers together underwater. You rest your head on his shoulder, his head rests against yours, and you let your eyes close, feeling safe and good, all wrapped up in warmth and Mark.
After a few moments, he starts humming, playing with your fingers. He brings your intertwined hands up out of the water, and you smile to yourself. Mark rubs his thumb back and forth and back and forth and again and again at the base of your third finger until you finally open your eyes, turn your head slightly, and you ask, “What are you doing?”
“Just thinking,” Mark answers. “Remembering the night I proposed to you, how quickly you shot me down.” He kisses your head, then says, “I still want to marry you, by the way. I know things have been.... a little different since Mei. I know she’s not mine, so proposing like I did back then was maybe a little silly, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you at all. I still love you as wildly as I have done since I met you and even more. I know that you would probably shoot me down in a heartbeat again if I tried to propose, but I’m just thinking about how I would still gladly spend forever with you and Mei.”
Mark lifts your hand up, kissing right there at the base of your finger where a ring would sit if you’d said yes to him.
Mei’s giggles quickly become your favorite sound in the universe. She giggles when Miso comes up to snuggle beside her. She giggles when her dads or the other guys play with her. She giggles when you talk to her in silly voices or when you blow raspberries on her belly. She smiles and makes babbling noises, such a happy baby.
“Mei-mei!” Ten coos, lifting her up. “How’s the happy little princess today?” He scrunches his nose at her adorably.
“She’s been fussy today, actually.” You’ve had her lying on a blanket on the floor in the living room while you sit nearby and fold laundry, and she’s been making little crying noises for the better part of an hour, but every time you’ve checked her diaper she’s been dry, and she’s not hungry either. You’ve tried holding her and talking to her, giving her her favorite new toy. Nothing had worked until you put YouTube on the TV and started playing videos of the guys—music videos, interviews, reality shows, videos from their channels.
They’ve all been gone all day. The 127 members, the Dreamies, and WayV were all out, and you don’t know the last time you were in the house without any of them, or if you’ve ever been there without them. It was strange, and maybe that’s what Mei had been picking up on. And now Ten’s the first one back.
“She seems good now.” Ten sits down on the sofa, sitting Mei back against his chest. She’s making little happy sounds, which only turn to giggles when Ten takes her hands and starts clapping them together between his. That entertains her for another minute or two before she starts getting whiny again.
Ten watches in surprise as you start playing one of WayV’s videos and Mei immediately calms down, her eyes watching the TV screen, transfixed.
“Honestly, I think she wants WinWin.” You sigh, folding the last of the clothes and sitting it on top of the neat pile you’ve made. “She’s only four months old, and already such a Daddy’s girl. I swear she already has some idea of the time he normally comes home, because she just starts to get so excited and looks at the door. And watch, when he starts talking.” You point at the video, and as WinWin appears and starts talking Mei makes such happy sounds.
Ten laughs. “Is it just him she does that for?”
You shrug. “Sometimes Jaehyun. I think it’s because they’re the ones always stealing her from everyone else. You know how possessive they both are of her.”
“And of you.” Ten bounces Mei a little in his lap. She’s got her hand shoved into her mouth, drooling around it, and Ten just watches her do it with amusement. “Johnny came to me a few days ago, complaining that you’d left him on the edge again. Something about Jaehyun calling you about Mei, interrupting what you were doing, then you left him like that?”
You groan. You know exactly what he’s talking about. A few days ago, Jaehyun had happily volunteered to babysit Mei to give you just a few hours to yourself to relax. That relaxing had consisted of you going to get a wax (just because Doyoung had eaten you out and afterwards commented that he missed the times when you would be so smooth down there) and a massage and a trim for your hair too. And when you got home, Jaehyun wasn’t finished having quality Mei time (a nap side-by-side on the floor; it was adorable and you snapped quite a few photos of them), so you climbed up the stairs to your bedroom, but before you went inside, Johnny had peered out of his room, saw the glowing happy state of you, and invited you inside.
You’d been excited to show off to him how soft and smooth you looked, and Johnny had been equally as excited to get to experience it. So he’d laid you back on his bed, touching and stroking you until your belly was on fire with lust, your pussy dripping, mind going fuzzy with just how much you needed Johnny to make you cum. He’d taken photos too, a few small video snippets as well, sending them into your groupchat with your boyfriends to show each of them what they were missing out on, and as he teased you with light brushes of his fingers over your clit, Johnny had read out the responses of what the others were saying.
By the time that Johnny was finally inside you, his big cock feeling so good, and his warm arms and body surrounding you, making you lowkey lose your mind at the all-encompassing feeling of Johnny Suh, you’d forgotten about everything but him.
Until there was a frantic knock on the door.
Both of you ignored it. Lips locked together, Johnny’s hips knocking you higher up the bed with your hand braced against the headboard to keep from ramming into it.
It took another few harried knocks on the door before Johnny grunted a clearly annoyed, “What?”
“It’s Mei,” Jaehyun said from outside the door. “She woke up crying and she feels a little warm, maybe feverish. Sorry to interrupt, but I don’t—“
He didn’t even get the chance to say anything else before you were shoving Johnny away from you, pulling clothes on that weren’t even yours, and you were out the door. Mei had been fine; it wasn’t a fever or anything, she was just a little warm and hungry, and by the time you got that sorted, you couldn’t even find Johnny to finish things off.
In the back of your mind, at the time, you had wondered if Jaehyun had just fibbed about Mei feeling feverish just to break up what was going on with you and Johnny. If he’d seen the photos and videos in the chat, if his jealousy had overwhelmed him enough to make up any excuse to get it to stop. You’d convinced yourself that that was ridiculous; Jaehyun seemed genuinely concerned that Mei might be sick.
But right now, Ten looks at you like he believes Jaehyun had done exactly what you were suspicious of.
“I thought Mei was sick, so I had to go take care of her, Ten.” You push to your feet, coming over to offer your hands to your daughter. She babbles excitedly as Ten hands her over to you. “It’s not like I could tell Jaehyun to just go watch her, make sure she didn’t get too high of a temperature while I stayed to finish Johnny off. And by the time I’d settled her down, I couldn’t find Johnny anywhere to pick back up or to even apologize.”
Ten nods. “Yeah, he was with me. Don’t worry. I took good care of him.” He grins mischievously. “But afterwards we were talking, and he said that kind of thing has been happening a lot. Him feeling left behind or left out. I think you two should talk.”
You think he’s right.
It’s hours later when Johnny gets home. Mei’s asleep upstairs; you’ve got the baby monitor beside you at the table while Chenle and Jisung argue over who gets the last ramen cup in the cabinet. Jungwoo, Mark, and Sungchan are playing video games together in the living room with Yuta and Taeil calling out advice and commentary from where they’re watching. You feel at peace again with the house back to normal, loud and busy and relatively chaotic.
Yuta greets Johnny as he walks through the door, and as he passes the doorway into the kitchen, you call his name. He passes by then backs up, pulling out a headphone. “Did you say my name?”
You nod. “Can I talk to you?”
Johnny pulls his headphones out of his ears, tucking them away in his pocket. “Of course.”
Yuta strides into the kitchen then, bypassing the two youngest members of the group who are now standing at the fridge together, and before either of them notice, he steals the ramen they’d been arguing over. You shake your head at him, and he just smiles.
“Yuta, can you take this.” You hand him the baby monitor. “Just keep an ear on it for Mei, please?”
Yuta glances between the baby monitor and your face and Johnny’s. Something clicks in his eyes, and his smile turns more suggestive. “Ah, alright. I’ve got our little angel. You two have fun.” He accepts the monitor, and walks back out of the room with the steaming ramen in the other hand.
Johnny follows you as you walk outside into their small yard. It’s deep night outside, quiet but the air still buzzes with the nature sounds of insects and the wind. It rustles your hair as you sit down on the bench, Johnny settling down beside you.
“What’s up?” He asks. You notice the way that he reaches down to the knee of his jeans, fiddling with the frayed hole there.
“I was talking with Ten earlier,” you say, “and he told me that last week when I skipped out on you, you went to him instead.”
Johnny nods. “Yeah, like, you don’t have a problem with that, right? Kun and Taeyong still fuck around with him too.”
“I know. I’m fine with that. But, Johnny, Ten said that you’re feeling left out in this relationship lately, and that’s what I want to talk about.” You reach over, laying your hand over his on his knee. “Why do you feel that way?”
Johnny’s quiet for a few seconds, looking at your hand on his, and then he lets out a short, sarcastic laugh. “I mean, it’s not a ridiculous way to feel right now, is it? Not baseless? I can count on one hand the number of times that I’ve had your wholly undivided attention, uninterrupted by someone else within the last, like, five months almost.”
“You mean since Mei was born?” You withdraw your hand. “Johnny, I’m sorry you feel that way, but you know I can’t just ignore my daughter, right? If she needs me, I have to go, because I’m her mother and that’s my responsibility.”
“Of course I get that. I know that you need to take care of her. It’s just fucking annoying when you leave me in the middle of something sexual.” Johnny argues, “Like, that time you gave me a handjob, and you definitely would’ve just left if I didn’t beg you to finish me off, and even then you did it so quick then just left. And when Jaehyun was fucking you, me and Mark walked in, got me so hard and then just told me to leave pretty much. Then there was the other day. And I get it, Mei needed you, but it just pissed me off that Jae interrupted, especially since it turned out that she was fine.”
You don’t know what to say. Those examples he gave you, two of those times it was because your daughter needed you, and the other time your body literally couldn’t take any more so there was nothing you could have done for him.
“And it just seems like you never have time for me anymore. There’s the sex stuff, but also, even when we’re together just talking or watching a movie or whatever it may be, I just feel like you’re not there with me. Like you’re thinking about something else, not listening to me or wanting to be there.” Johnny tilts his head back and looks up at the sky. “I love you, I really do, but lately it’s just felt like maybe I shouldn’t be here anymore. I want someone I can go have fun with and not have to worry about leaving me at a moment’s notice.”
“Well, I’m a mother, Johnny. That’s going to happen.” You tell him. “She comes first; she always will.”
“I know.” Johnny folds his arms in front of his chest. “So maybe we should end this. I thought that I was ready for a relationship like this, but now with all things considered – the other guys and Mei and everything – I think it’s too serious and too complex for me to be happy trying to keep doing this. Your attention is split too many different ways, and I hate ending it, because like I said, I do love you. But I... I just think that maybe we want different things.”
You look down at your hands, willing the tears not to flow, but you can already feel the hot tingle behind your eyes, the tightening in your throat. “You wanted a baby, Johnny. Do you remember that? We talked about it before I was pregnant. Hell, we talked about it while I was pregnant, when you were coming to the appointments with me, meeting my parents. You remember that, right? But now you’re saying that you can’t deal with having my attention split between you and her?”
“That’s not it.” Johnny’s voice drops low, offended and defensive as he says, “Not entirely. If it was just that, just split between me and Mei, I could handle that. But it’s the fact that you’re in love with all of us, that you’re dating all of us. That’s what I can’t deal with. You get that, right?”
You hate to admit it, but you do get it. This moment is strangely similar to when you and Lucas broke up. He had other reasons, mostly his growing feelings for Chaerin, but he also told you that one of the reasons was that he felt that your attention was too divided.
“I get it,” you agree. But you can’t bring yourself to look at Johnny.
“Are you mad at me?” Johnny asks after a few silent moments.
You bite your cheek, blink away the tears, and then you say, “Well, it’s not like I’m jumping for joy or anything over here. But I get it. I don’t like it, but not many people do like being broken up with.”
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again. His hand rests briefly on your shoulder, and then he’s gone, leaving just the heat behind from his hand.
Kun’s the one that finds you a while later. You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting out there, but the light in the kitchen has gone out when you hear the door.
“There you are.” Kun steps out, closing the door behind him to come sit beside you. “I was starting to get a little worried when I couldn’t find you anywhere inside.” As soon as he sits down Kun wraps his arm around your shoulders, drawing you into his side, and you lean your head down on his shoulder. “I’m guessing that talk with Johnny didn’t go well?”
You start to lift your head, but Kun lays his hand on your hair, pressing you back down. “How did you know about that?” You ask him.
“Ten. He told me that he told you what Johnny had been saying, and that you two needed to talk.” He strokes your hair soothingly. “And when I got home earlier, Yuta had the baby monitor, and when I asked, he said you were out here talking with Johnny.”
“Yeah.” You sigh. It feels like there’s a weight on your chest that won’t go away. You hate this feeling, like maybe if you’d just done something different, maybe you could make everyone in this relationship happy. But as you’ve been thinking about this since Johnny left you out here, the only thing different you could come up with is just choosing one of them from the start; that or not getting pregnant, but you can’t bring yourself to regret that one bit at all.
“What happened? If you want to talk about it?” Kun asks.
You pull your head away from his hand slowly, and Kun moves to let you do so. He makes a little sound as you sink down, resting your head in his lap and taking his hand to bring it back to your hair. The bench is a little hard and uncomfortable to lie on like this, but you don’t really care too much.
“We broke up. I didn’t, like, come out here thinking that’s what was going to happen. I thought we’d just talk, come up with a compromise or something, and then go back inside happily.” You close your eyes tight. “But Johnny thinks that I’m juggling too many people in this relationship, that I don’t have enough time and attention for all of you, plus being Mei’s mom on top of all of that. And he’s right, I guess. That’s partially why Lucas left me, and I know things have probably gotten worse since I had Mei.”
Kun twirls your hair around one of his fingers. “A little bit, but I thought we all understood that you have to focus on her. We can handle ourselves. But Mei needs you entirely; she’s a baby. And we, or at least I, can see that you’re doing your best to be what all of us need you to be. Aren’t you exhausted?”
You rub your cheek against Kun’s leg, loving the soft feel of his pajama pants against your skin. “A little exhausted.”
“You need a vacation.” Kun suggests. “You barely leave the house, so you need to just get away, get out of the city. Probably get away from all of us.”
A laugh bubbles out of you, and you turn onto your back so you’re looking up at Kun. He’s smiling, eyes glinting in the dim light. “Right, get away from all of you. And what about Mei? Do you think I could leave her here for a week or even a few days? With all of you?” You laugh again. “I love all of you, and I know most of you are good with her, but really, Kun? If you want me to relax, leaving my daughter here in this house without me would almost be as bad as leaving her in a fraternity house.”
Kun frowns. “We’re not that bad.”
You lift a hand up to touch his cheek. “No, you’re not. I know I can trust a couple of you with her, but I still couldn’t leave her.”
The longest you’ve been away from Mei is about four hours, and even then, she was only about twenty minutes away from you. What Kun’s suggesting, leaving the city for a getaway would last much longer and put your farther away from her than you’ve ever been before.
“Take her with you, then.” Kun turns his head, brushing his lips to your hand. “You, her, WinWin. Take a little family trip. He should have a few free days coming up on his schedule. And don’t mind anyone getting jealous about it if you take WinWin with you. He’s her dad. I think the three of you deserve some quality time together.”
It does all sound like a very tempting idea, so you keep that little idea wrapped up nicely in your mind for a few days, coming back to it again and again every time that a stressor pops up in your life. Like when you bump into Johnny and his expression shifts into something that’s a combination of sadness and concern and apology. After the third time of that happening, you decide maybe taking some time away from the house would be a good thing.
You bring it up to WinWin on a Tuesday morning.
He’s just woken up, rolled out of bed, and strolled upstairs into your bedroom. His hair’s still a wild mess, standing up in various direction, and looking especially silly because of the recent dyeing it had. You laugh and reach up to smooth it down as he flops down into your bed, dragging the sheets up. Miso hisses as the sudden sheet movement disrupts him bathing himself at the foot of the bed, and he stalks off, his tail held high, looking back once before he disappears out the door to give WinWin a disgruntled look.
“I want to go back to sleep,” he mumbles into your pillow. “But Hendery wouldn’t stop being loud. I get that he isn’t the one who had a schedule running into early this morning, but come on? Being awake this early?” WinWin smashes his face into your pillow, pulls the blanket up over his head entirely, and falls silent.
“You have a few days cleared on your schedule soon, right?” You lift the edge of the blanket so he can breathe. The lump under the blanket moves to signal a yes. “Do you want to get away and relax with me somewhere that’s not here?”
WinWin emerges from the blanket, squinting against the light. “What?”
“Kun suggested it the other night. He thinks you, me, and Mei should get away. Well, initially he just said me, but when I laughed about leaving Mei here in this house alone with all of you, he amended it to include you and her too.” You quickly reach up, trying to push his hair flat again, unsuccessfully. “What do you think?”
WinWin nods. “Sounds good to me.”
And three days later, you and WinWin pack up Mei and a weekend bag, and drive away to a beach a few hours away. You’re not there necessarily for the beach—after all Mei is only a few months old and you definitely don’t want to expose her to the sun or to the heat for too long—though it does make a very pretty view from the window of your hotel room. The pretty blue water lapping against the beach below makes you pause at the window, holding Mei who also looks out at the water transfixed (or maybe she just sees her reflection in the window and wonders who that other baby is), pressing her little handprints to the glass.
“Do you remember the last time we came to the beach?” WinWin asks, sneaking up behind you. He drops a quick kiss to your cheek, then brings a hand up to cradle Mei’s head.
“Mhmm.” You hum, and Mei waves a hand at the window, fingers leaving streaks on the glass. “I’m pretty sure last time we came to the beach is probably when we made her.” You stroke her soft cheek. “That was such a good day.”
WinWin laughs, and Mei turns her head to look up at him with her sparkly dark eyes. “I remember that day, like, I was joking around with Taeyong and Hendery, and then I looked over at you and Dejun sitting on the end of that dock. You were just sunbathing, and then the next time I looked over you were making out, straddling him, God, it was really sexy. I never pegged him as being the type to mess around in public like that, but neither was I really until right then. I still can’t believe we did that out in broad daylight where anyone could’ve seen us. Do you really think that’s the time that we made her?”
You shrug. “Probably. That’s definitely around the time that she was conceived. And Mei’s our little sea star. She loves her baths, and when I play white noise to help her sleep, the ocean waves are her favorite. Of course, that could all be a coincidence.”
WinWin smiles as Mei starts making nonsensical babbling sounds, kicking her legs as she looks back out the window at the beach and the people milling around in the sand. “We really did something good, didn’t we? Making her.”
“Absolutely.” She certainly wasn’t planned, but you don’t regret one thing about it. You and WinWin talk about this semi-regularly, both of you just absolutely enchanted watching your daughter exist, amazed that she’s the product of both of you. “And to think you almost didn’t come with us to the beach that day.”
WinWin shakes his head. “I don’t want to think about that. Mei-mei, you want daddy to hold you?” He repeats it in Mandarin, and as he says her full name Mingmei, she lifts her arms to him, so you pass her over. WinWin cuddles her, continuing to speak to her quietly as she gazes up at his face and clings tightly to one of his fingers.
It’s the next day when the three of you go down to the beach early on in the day, before the sun’s really beaming down, but nevertheless you’ve slathered Mei with some baby-safe sunscreen, you have a little adorable hat on her head shielding her from the weak sun rays. It’s not really warm enough to get in the water, but it’s nice enough that you and WinWin can sit on the sand for a while, put Mei’s toes in the sand, and eventually you carry her to the water’s edge and hold her right there, her little feet curl up as a cool wave washes over them.
“Does she not like it?” WinWin asks, chuckling as Mei lets out a sad little cry just once.
“You’re not too sure about that are you, Mei?” You laugh. She puts her feet back down after a minute, just to have another wave crash nearby, racing thinly over the sand, covering her feet. She watches the water carefully, and the next time it happens she giggles, quickly adapting to the strangeness of the water.
You don’t spend all day at the beach. There’s a temple nearby up atop a tall hill, so you put on a baby carrier strapped to your chest, fit Mei snugly in it, and you and WinWin go exploring with Mei along for the ride. It’s a nice walk, pretty out, and as you follow a path along the seaside, the breeze blows salty spray up at your faces. Once you’ve reached the peak of the hill, Mei is ready to be free of the prison you’ve got her strapped into on your chest, ready to be set free and held by her dad.
It’s breezy and cool, relaxing here atop the hill, looking down at the waves below. There aren’t too many people up here, so you decide to take a seat on one of the benches overlooking the sea, unpacking a little picnic.
WinWin sits across from you on the bench, both of you facing each other, and he holds Mei in his lap, her sitting up against his chest, waving her hands excitedly as you pull out a bottle you’ve kept chilled with your food. When you try to get her into your arms so you can feed her with the bottle, Mei just whines in protest, clearly wanting to stay with her dad.
WinWin, to be fair, tries his best to not grin in victory as you hand the bottle over to him so he can feed her.
“You know I carried you for nine months, right?” You tell her. “But he’s your favorite?”
WinWin just laughs, and as you watch him laughing and smiling, feeding your daughter, you fully understand why he’s her favorite. Why wouldn’t he be?
You take photos of them together, sweet snapshots of memory as the day goes on. WinWin feeding her, him holding her on his shoulders (you were both surprised and pleased just a few days before as she’d sat upright so well by herself), and even a photo of them looking out at the water with their faces side-by-side as WinWin talked to her in a gentle voice. But as the day goes on Mei starts to grow sleepy and fussy, crying loud enough that heads in the crowd turn to look, so you decide to go back to the hotel.
You sit out on the balcony together, the door cracked open behind you so you can hear if Mei starts crying inside. WinWin stands against the railing, and you stand beside him, your head on his shoulder.
“This is nice.” He sighs. “I don’t get many vacations, not many trips where I can just get away from all the cameras and everything.”
“Nice to get to relax some, isn’t it?” You turn your head and kiss his shoulder. “At least one good thing’s come out of Johnny and I breaking up.”
WinWin makes a soft sound of agreement. “We all knew this wasn’t going to be easy. From the start, we’ve all known that we couldn’t all stay here, doing this with you. I remember after we all found out that Doyoung had kissed you, we thought that was going to be the end, that you’d chosen him. But then a few days later Taeyong was bragging you’d kissed him. For a long time, this didn’t seem, like, real—that you chose all of us, that we were doing a relationship like this, and even when I finally realized that this was happening.... I definitely didn’t think that we’d end up here.”
“What, you didn’t imagine that all of our fun and fucking would lead to Mei?” You glance back over your shoulder. She’s asleep in a little portable playpen in a clear line of sight to you.
“Something like that.” WinWin’s voice sounds strange, and it’s only when he brushes your hair back behind your ear that you look up at him. “I love you. I’m so glad that we have Mei, even if the circumstances were kinda unconventional. But you’re happy, aren’t you? With Mei, with me?”
The longing in his voice, in his touch, warms your heart, and you lean in to his touch. “I am happy, Sicheng.”
You tilt your head to look him in the eye, and then he’s leaned in and is kissing you. The kiss is soft, tender, filled with every ounce of that longing that you’d just heard in his voice. You feel positively light and warm, so you let him guide you back inside. The balcony door slides shut behind you both, and you move past the playpen where Mei sleeps soundly, back into the bedroom. You let him peel your clothes away, kissing down your neck and shoulders and chest.
“You smell like coconut,” he murmurs as he kisses down your body, nose skimming between your breasts. “Mmm, love it.”
It’s like you’re drunk on the sun-warm heat of WinWin, the summer smell of sunshine in his hair when he’s kissing you on the lips again, the way that having him inside you and all around you makes you forget that it’s the tail end of summer and not the highest hottest part. You feel so good as WinWin makes love to you, both of you fallen into this high, dreamy haze together.
Even in the aftermath, sweaty and sticky skin pressed together, you can’t get enough of kissing him, his body still tucked between your legs, your fingers tangled in his hair as he lays against your chest.
“Mmm, god,” WinWin moans softly, kissing softly beneath your jaw, down the side of your throat, and retracing his steps to your lips. You smile into the kiss, giggling a bit as the way that his fingers brush over your ribs tickles. WinWin smiles, kisses you once again, and then leans up, breaking the kiss. He just looks down at you, and as you blink your eyes open, WinWin says, “Marry me?”
“What?” You trail your fingers over his miles of exposed skin. “Like, right now?”
He shrugs. “Whenever. I love you, and we have Mei, and I just want to marry you.” He kisses you again, but you put a hand to his shoulder, pressing him back.
“Dong Sicheng, are you serious?”
The warm glow pulses all around you, threatening to collapse or explode. The idea of what he’s proposing—marriage to him, a future with him as your husband and Mei’s father—it excites you, but terrifies you in equal measure. If you say yes to him, then what about the others? It’d be like a slap in the face. You love WinWin, of course you do, but you love them too.
You think of Mark, his underprepared proposal nearly a year ago, the hurt in his eyes when you’d told him no, but the persistent hope and love, the soft way that he traces a line around your ring finger when he holds your hand. You think of Jaehyun, a man so full of love and jealousy. You think of Taeil who looks at Mei as if maybe she could really be his daughter. You think of all of them.
“I am.” WinWin sits up, breaking contact with you, and the cool air floods in against your skin. “I want to marry you, but I know that you’re not going to tell me yes. Not now, anyway. But I just thought I should put that intention out there, let you know where I see this relationship going. I don’t expect you to actually tell me yes, so don’t worry your pretty head about it too much. Okay?”
He leans in, kisses your forehead, and then he’s slipping away, dragging his shorts back up, and he’s out of the room before you have the chance to say anything.
The rest of the vacation is very nice and relaxing, even after the slight awkwardness following WinWin’s proposal. Nevertheless, by the time you’re returning to Seoul, walking through the door of the big house with Mei in your arms, her fingers tugging at your hair, you’re pleased to be back.
The warmth of the beach faded quickly on the way back to Seoul where a chill has set in as the season turns over to autumn. As soon as you’re inside the house, Jaehyun, Taeil, and Taeyong are there, cooing at Mei, offering to take her from you. She goes easily into Taeyong’s arms, and he sweeps her away, playing with her and talking at her in a sweet baby voice.
Xiaojun’s there when you go back outside to help WinWin bring in the bags, and he pulls you quickly into a hug, tucking his face into your shoulder. You wrap your arms back around him, squeezing tightly.
Your reunion with most of your boyfriends goes as such, a warm hug, a murmured “I missed you,” a passionate kiss that gets booed and noises of disgust made at it. The last reunion is with Jungwoo as he gets home late from a schedule and comes into your room to use your shower, then crawls into bed with you and Mark, snuggling in between both of you.
“Where’s Mei?” He asks, casting one leg over yours, slinging an arm over Mark.
“Jaehyun and Doyoung are hoarding her,” Mark mumbles, pushing Jungwoo’s arm away. “How did the photoshoot go today?”
“Fine.” Jungwoo sighs, turning over so he’s on his back instead of his stomach. “They really liked Shotaro.”
You look at him, at the ever-so-slight downturn of his lips. “I’m sure they loved you too, Jungwoo. Like, yeah, Shotaro’s a cutie, but you....” You bite your lip and give him a once-over. “Very sexy. Sex appeal sells more than cuteness, you know. I know for sure your fans will buy up anything that’s got you looking sexy on the cover.” He’d looked so stunning when he walked into your room, his hair and makeup still done up from the shoot, and right now it’s all gone, but he is stretched out in your bed wearing only the towel around his waist.
Maybe you reach out to touch him then, unable to hold yourself back when he’s lying there looking so tempting.
Jungwoo laughs at the ridiculously horny look you’re giving him. “Didn’t WinWin give you any sex while you were away? You haven’t looked this needy since before Mei, probably.”
“We did have sex. Several times. Should I tell you about them?” You can’t help it if you’re horny. Maybe that’s a good sign that your body is returning to how it was before the pregnancy, your libido skyrocketing again.
Mark leans up, resting his head on his hand as he watches your hands wander over Jungwoo’s chest, watches the way that Jungwoo’s nipples perk up, the way that Jungwoo bites his lip as you pinch at one of his nipples. You start telling them both about your fun on your little trip, continuing to touch Jungwoo as you do.
Mark just watches and listens, drinking in everything that’s happening. He watches you eventually swing your leg over Jungwoo’s lap, situating yourself right over the bulge that’s risen under the towel. He watches Jungwoo strip you of your shirt and bra; he moans a little as Jungwoo loses the towel and pulls you down, filling you with his cock. Mark moans again as Jungwoo starts touching your boobs, nuzzling against them, and then closing his lips around a nipple as you grind down on his erection. Jungwoo alone of your boyfriends is really into this; the others that tasted your milk thought it was okay or thought it was gross, but Jungwoo just genuinely loves doing this, tasting it on his tongue any chance he gets.
Jungwoo laves all of his attention on one, suckling as you ride him slowly. Then his other hand rises up to your other breast, the one closer to Mark, just massaging, his fingers occasionally tweaking your nipple.
And if Mark makes any sound you don’t hear it, but then he’s right there, head in front of your chest, tongue testing as milk leaks from your nipple while Jungwoo massages. Just as the first time it had been strangely very hot to have a boyfriend breastfeeding from you, so is it now, but multiplied as you’ve got two of them doing this.
As Mark grows more confident, he knocks Jungwoo’s hand away, and Jungwoo drops both of his hands to your hips, encouraging you to ride him faster. Both of them keep their mouths on your breasts even as you start fucking yourself on Jungwoo, feeling your orgasm building, getting closer. And then Mark’s hand slips down to your clit.
The orgasm bursts like a bubble of pleasure popped.
You shudder in their arms, quaking and moaning. Mark pulls his mouth from your tit, licking his lips.
“Good, Mark?” You ask after you catch your breath. You slump forward against Jungwoo. “Did you like that?”
Mark nods, looking a little dazed as if caught off guard by how much he’d liked it. You giggle, reaching to pull him in for a kiss, but just as you do, Jungwoo tips you backwards.
He drags your legs up around his hips, fucking into you now at his own pace, needing his own orgasm after he’s felt you cumming around him. Mark falls down beside you, happily seeking your kiss, swallowing down all of the moans that Jungwoo fucks out of you.
“Mark,” you sigh, “please. Please, let me help you feel good too.” Your hand searches down his body, looking for the spot where his shirt gives way to skin, so you can push your hand inside his shorts. “Mark, mm, please.”
Jungwoo nails a spot inside you that makes your eyes roll with pleasure, your hands grapple at the waistband of Mark’s shorts.
“You want my cock, baby?” Mark rolls away from you, getting off the bed so he can strip off his shirt and shorts, and when his weight next settles beside you, he’s naked, jerking his hand over his cock. “Open up, baby.”
Mark feeds you his cock, thrusting gently at first, his tip bulging your cheek, but you turn your head, breathe through your nose and let your jaw go slack, encouraging him to use your throat.
Neither of them are much for dirty talk, but as Jungwoo’s pace picks up to almost a brutal speed, you hear him start talking to Mark about you. “God, look at her, all open and pretty and wet for us, just a dripping fucktoy for both of us.”
“She’s our pretty slut again,” Mark says, thrusting down your throat, pinching one of your nipples. “Taking two cocks at once. When was the last time you did that, baby?”
It hasn’t been that long, not that you would tell Mark that even if you could right now, but the way that he’s now fucking your face makes it a little difficult to even draw breath, let alone attempt to speak.
Jungwoo cums a moment later, spilling his load inside you, but he keeps thrusting with his thumb on your clit until you experience your second orgasm of the night. He pulls out and leaves you and Mark, not that Mark notices really, too absorbed in fucking your face, feeling you moan and gag around him.
When Mark cums, he pulls back so just his tip is between your lips, and he looks down so he can see your eyes as you suck and flick your tongue over the slit on his tip. His hips just barely press forward, only the shallowest of thrusts between your lips, and he cums over your tongue, and you can feel just a bit of his cum dripping from the corner of your mouth.
Mark moans, swearing in at least two different languages, and after a moment he falls away from you, sinking back into his comfortable spot on the bed from earlier. You sit up, using your thumb to push what you’d spilled back into your mouth. Mark looks up at you as you straddle him, as you lean in to kiss him. He opens his mouth to your kiss, and makes a startled yet aroused sound as you let his cum leak from your mouth into his. But he takes it, kissing you with his cum passed between your mouths. It’s gross and dirty, but it’s something you’ve thought about doing before; you’re just surprised that Mark’s going along with it.
He swallows when you break the kiss, sitting up just a little so you can see his face.
Mark wrinkles his nose adorably. “That was gross. Does it always taste like that?”
You laugh and kiss his cheek. “Usually.”
Jungwoo returns a moment later, looking freshly rinsed clean, and he crawls back into bed with a damp cloth to wipe your face and chest and thighs down.
“Messy girl,” he teases as he watches you wipe between your own legs at where his cum is leaking out.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Mark mumbles, but Jungwoo’s already moving back off the bed, taking the cloth with him back to the bathroom. “Filthy, messy girl. Spitting my cum back into my mouth.”
He doesn’t sound like he didn’t like it, though.
You snuggle up against Mark’s side, your cheek on his shoulder, and Jungwoo cuddles up behind you, drawing the blankets up to cover all three of you. “Goodnight,” he whispers, kissing the back of your shoulder, “You know we love you, right? That we didn’t mean those things we said.”
You hum. “But I am a slut for all of you. I accepted that a long time ago.”
Mark pets your hair. “You’re an angel. Just go to sleep, babe.”
Several hours later you wake in the half-light of dawn in your bedroom. The door is cracked open a bit, letting in a little light from the hallway, and a nightlight glows in the corner, all of this allowing you enough light to see that Mei’s in her bed sound asleep. But it takes you another second to realize that Jungwoo is gone, that Mark is sitting up on the opposite side of the bed from you whispering to Doyoung.
“Doyoung?” You mumble, rolling over fully, stretching your arms above your head. “What are you doing? Where’d Jungwoo go?”
Mark leans over, kisses your forehead. “Go back to sleep. Jungwoo just felt like there wasn’t enough room with all three of us.” He brushes his fingers through your hair for another moment, and then your eyelids sink shut again.
The next time you wake, it’s much later. The sun is shining through the windows, Mark is asleep once more beside you. Taeil is sitting in the rocking chair, holding Mei and giving her a bottle. You almost feel a sense of déjà vu to a few months ago, though back then you’d woken in the middle of the night to this similar situation.
“Good morning,” you yawn, sitting up and stretching your arms above your head. “I didn’t even hear her cry out.”
Taeil shakes his head. “She didn’t. Jungwoo said you’d probably be pretty tired this morning, so I just came in to check on her. She just woke up a few minutes ago.”
You nod, and then look around, trying to find your phone, but it’s not on the nightstand where you would normally leave it.
“Why don’t you go shower?” Taeil suggests. “Lucas ordered in some breakfast for everyone.”
“Why?” You stand up, dragging the top blanket with you to keep your body covered.
Taeil shrugs. “I think he lost a bet yesterday or something. But go shower.” He tilts his head toward the door to your bathroom. “If you hurry there might still be some left.”
So you do go shower off, and when you come back out, Taeil’s gone but Mark is sitting in bed, his legs spread in a V with Mei lying on her back between them as he plays peek-a-boo with her.
You walk over to the nightstand to grab your phone, then remember that it’s not there. So you start looking in the bedsheets, then you crouch down to look under the bed.
“What are you doing?” Mark asks.
“Looking for my phone. I was going to send my mom some pictures from the trip.” You sweep your arm under the bed, only coming out with a pair of panties you thought you’d lost ages ago. You toss them toward the wash basket and then stand up, looking around, hoping that your phone will catch your eye from somewhere unexpected. “Have you seen it?”
Mark stands up, hoisting Mei up into his arms, and instantly she’s resting her head on his shoulder in a way that is absolutely one of the most adorable things. If she loves her dad the most, then Mark is a close second tied with Jaehyun. “Nope. Maybe it’s a sign that you should be away from your phone today. Did Taeil tell you about Lucas buying breakfast? I think he got some of those bubble waffles you’ve been wanting to try.”
You let it go for the time being. You know your phone is somewhere here in the house; you had it just last night while showing the boys some photos and videos, and now you’re just not sure where it’s gotten to. So you follow Mark downstairs to the kitchen.
Jaemin and Renjun are in there when you, Mark, and Mei walk in. They stay to hang out, playing with Mei to make her laugh while you and Mark eat breakfast, and then Mark disappears for a bit, and you give Mei a bath, play with her by giving her tickles and kisses, stretching her arms above her head and cycling her legs as you get her dressed. She smells clean and perfect, just a happy ball of sunshine as you bounce her in your arms as you walk around the house looking for your phone wherever it might be.
The house is oddly quiet. Most of the guys are gone though you can hear Jisung and Hendery playing video games downstairs. Eventually you walk into the room Doyoung, Taeil, Yuta, and Mark share, though right now only Doyoung is in there, curled up on his bed watching a drama, looking sleepy.
“Hey.” He sits up abruptly, pausing the show.
“Hey,” you reply. But you don’t stop to chat, you start moving around the room, nudging aside bags and piles of clothes, flipping the sheets on Yuta’s bed with one hand, moving Taeil’s pillows around. When you turn back to Doyoung he’s watching you with a confused expression. You sigh. “You haven’t seen my phone, have you? I know I had it last night, but I can’t find it anywhere this morning.”
Doyoung looks back at the drama. “No, I haven’t seen it. I’m sure it’ll turn up. Miso probably stole it. You know your cat is a real thief, right?” He glances back over at you. “Yesterday I caught him stealing a pair of my socks, and Taeil said he thought he saw him eyeing up that handstitched baby blanket from your mom. It’s like he’s nesting somewhere in the house.” He fiddles with his sleeve, and when his phone lights up beside his thigh with a notification, a thought enters your mind.
You lean closer, reaching for his phone. “Can I just use your phone to call mine?”
Doyoung snatches his phone away. “No.” He hides his phone on the opposite side of the bed.
Mei makes bubbly noise, blowing at her lips while she clings to your shirt as you try to reach Doyoung’s phone again. He moves it even farther out of your reach.
You stand up straight, shifting Mei slightly. “Doyoung, what the hell? Just let me see your phone.”
He shakes his head. His grip on his phone is so tight that his knuckles lose all their color. The screen lights up again from between his fingers, and you can just make out the sight of multiple messages coming through. And in the silence of this standoff you hear a quiet buzzing coming at the same time from beneath his bed.
Doyoung’s not fast enough to stop you as you crouch down and dig a hand beneath his bed, coming out with your phone in your hand.
“Wow, that’s crazy. How did that get there?” Doyoung asks in a very put-on voice, his look of surprise very clearly fake.
You frown at him as you rub the screen of your phone against your shirt to clean it a bit. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or do I need to look at this first?” You wave your phone, and at that moment, Doyoung reaches out and snatches it from you, hiding it right back beside his phone. “Doyoung. Seriously.”
You can feel Mei drooling through the shoulder of your shirt, but you don’t even care.
Doyoung shakes his head. “I just thought you could use some time away from your phone today.”
“Why don’t I believe you?” You readjust your hold on your daughter. “Are you really just going to lie to me like this?”
He shakes his head again, looking at you for a few long moments in silence as the phones continue to buzz periodically beside him. And eventually Doyoung sighs. He pushes away from his blankets, standing up in front of you, and then he puts a hand to your shoulder and presses you to sit down on his bed.
“The fans know about you and WinWin. Someone posted photos and videos of the two of you together on your trip. They got you and him and Mei looking like a happy little family, and this time I don’t think there’s any denying it like our team did last time.” Doyoung clears his throat. “And either that same sasaeng or a different one must’ve been outside here yesterday when you got home. There are photos of you and Xiaojun hugging. People are bringing up those old pictures and videos like they did last time. It’s a whole fucking mess, and I didn’t want you to see any of that.”
Suddenly the blurry memory from early that morning of Doyoung in your room whispering to Mark makes sense. The odd behavior of all of your boyfriends so far today, like the way Mark and Taeil had both tried to distract you when you were looking for your phone.
“We all think that you shouldn’t leave the house again for a bit. Like, fans are going crazy.” Doyoung’s hand massages your shoulder gently. “Like last time, there’s fans defending you and us, but there’s others too. I don’t think you need to see any of that.” He sinks down to kiss you gently, soothingly on the forehead. “We just want to protect you.”
You’ve been through all of this before, so this time it seems a little easier to handle. You can’t blame Doyoung and the others for wanting to keep you from seeing the things that are being said online. You even manage to keep yourself from looking at social media after you leave Doyoung’s room with your phone back in your possession. Well, at least for a little while.
Eventually you do look. You see fans talking about being so mad that sasaengs are camped out in front of the house. You see long threads full of the same pictures from before, with several more from your vacation with WinWin, plus several others that you recognize of you with the other boys over the last month or so.
You put Mei down for a nap and sit in the rocking chair beside her bed with your knees drawn up to your chest as you scroll through Twitter looking at all of this. You only get up to close the curtains over your window because even though your bedroom is on the top floor of the house and facing away from the street, you can’t help but feel surveilled. You see someone reposted some photos from one of those sasaengs that are apparently camped in front of the house, and you almost throw your phone away because you can hear that Ten, Johnny, and Taeyong just got home and those are the photos that are already being circulated.
This goes on for a few days. No statements put out by the boys or the company seem to sway the fans, and you can barely eat or sleep. You can’t leave the house. There are stalkers outside day and night, and you leave the curtains drawn on every window so you can at least walk around inside the house without feeling like they can see you.
On the morning of the third day, as the sun rises you’re sitting in the kitchen, watching Hendery sleepily eat a bowl of cereal. You haven’t eaten since about midday the previous day. You lost any appetite you might have had when one of the Dream members came home and a sasaeng nearly attempted to come in with him.
Since then their company did at least hire a security guard to stand in front of the house’s door, but your stomach is still tied in so many nauseous knots.
The front door of the house opens, sounding loud in the quiet munching of Hendery’s breakfast, and your heart sinks into the bare cavern of your belly, anxiety knotting your nerves. But then the door closes, and Taeyong calls out just loud enough for you to hear, “It’s just me.”
You hate that he knows that you’re this nervous about everything that he has to announce himself. He pops his head into the kitchen a moment later, gaze sliding from you to Hendery and then back again. He sighs at the look on your face, then comes closer. Taeyong asks, “Did you sleep at all last night?”
“Did you?” You retort. He already knows the answer, you can see it written on his face that he wouldn’t believe you even if you said yes. “No, Taeyong. I haven’t slept. Every time I close my eyes, I just think about one of them sneaking inside and coming upstairs.”
Taeyong strokes your hair. “We have the guard. He won’t let them in. He barely let me pass by.” He smiles lightly in an attempt to brighten your mood, but it doesn’t work. “Babe, I can see that you’re beyond stressed about all of this. If you need to, go stay with your parents for a while, until this all blows over again.”
“But what if it doesn’t blow over.” You swat his hand away, suddenly overwhelmed by irritation at the patronizing way he’s petting you. “Your fans have a long memory. They’re not quick to forgive either. And some of their theories online are disturbingly accurate. They hate me.”
“They don’t even know you.”
“Well, they hate me for being happy in this relationship with all of you.” You fold your arms over your chest and stare down into Hendery’s cereal bowl until you hear the sound of Taeyong walking away.
Hendery taps his spoon on the side of his bowl for a few seconds before he clears his throat. “Are you unhappy?”
You almost roll your eyes. Of course you’re not happy right now.
“I mean, like, in this relationship. With all of us.” He sits the spoon down and pulls his hands back into his lap. “I know it’s unusual and that in itself makes this more stressful. I guess, what I mean to ask is, do you think you’d be happier if this relationship were more normal? If there were less of us?”
You look slowly into his eyes. “What?”
“I haven’t really been in this since Mei was born. I think, for me, what you and I have has mostly been about sex. At least, as I’ve been thinking about it recently, that’s how I think it’s been.” He nibbles nervously at his bottom lip. “Right now, there’s a lot going on, and it’s stressful for you and for me, so maybe if I back out of this relationship it will help a little bit.”
You want to say, “Right, because piling heartbreak on top of the rumors and hate is going to help.” But you don’t. You keep quiet because maybe he’s right.
You haven’t had Hendery around much since Mei was born. It’s not like you didn’t invite him to be around, he just doesn’t come around. He’s there, but not really. You know he’d been somewhat excited about you having a baby, had been there for you as he believed that she could have been his, but once he’d seen her with his own eyes and held her in his arms, once he’d learned that she shared none of his DNA, that’s when you’d felt him withdrawing somewhat.
And you know he’s right about the sex. Yes, you’d had your romantic moments together. Shared intimate date nights, soft ‘I love you’s between kisses, and many of the things you’d shared with your other boyfriends, but truly from the start this thing between you and Hendery had been sexual. And sex with Hendery was something that you hadn’t had in months.
“I’m sorry.” You duck your head as you apologize. You’ve gone months ignoring Hendery’s sexual needs. “God, I’m a really bad girlfriend, aren’t I? You guys keep breaking up with me and telling me how good I am at ignoring you, making you feel left out. And you’re all right.”
“I’m not blaming you for that!” Hendery quickly says. “You’re busy! You’re a mom now. You have all of us to pay attention to. And for so long you couldn’t have sex after Mei, and like I said, I really feel like that was a key point to our relationship. It might sound bad to say this now, but like, our relationship has been over for months now, and we’ve just been pretending that it’s not. But I think it’s time that we finally put the end stamp on it.”
So you do, and you feel that stamp like a dull bruise on your heart.
But he’s right. Things between you and him have been over for months. Similar to you and Ten, the end of this branch of your polyamorous relationship has withered and faded away.
And as you rise from the breakfast table, hoping to go upstairs to maybe catch a few moments of sleep, you feel the instability of this whole relationship around you. You’ve lost four of your boyfriends in what feels like such a short time. And you’re afraid that they won’t be the only ones.
Ten looks ridiculous, cradling Miso like a baby in one arm, holding Mei in the other, grinning and bouncing them.
It’s been almost a week now since the rumors started up again, and they’ve died down some, but there’s still a lot of attention on you and the boys.
“Why don’t you just marry one of them?” Ten asks as you voice your worries aloud. “I mean, get married, admit that you’ve got a baby, it’s a little less than traditional but it’s not like it’s not something that’s happened before. Other idols have announced all of those things after the fact. That would get the fans to butt out, but right now they’re just being nosy, wanting to know the details of what exactly is going on. They want to understand your role with all of us. I’m sure Mark would be glad to do the honor of marrying you.”
You sigh before admitting, “Sicheng has also proposed to me.”
Ten makes a noise of surprise that startles Miso who twists his way out of Ten’s arms and drops to the floor. Ten quickly and carefully makes sure that he’s got a good hold on Mei and that Miso didn’t scrape her or anything in his escape.
Once he’s comforted himself that she’s fine (as if she wouldn’t have immediately begun squalling if Miso had caught her with a claw), Ten stares at you. “He proposed? And you said no? Also, since when do you call him Sicheng?”
“Since I realized it was weird calling my boyfriend, the father of my daughter by WinWin when that’s not his real name.”
“But you still call Hendery by his name, not his actual name. And Lucas.” Ten points out.
Your heart gives an odd little beat. “Yeah, but neither of them are my boyfriends anymore. And besides, I call Xiaojun Dejun sometimes.” You start listing off all of your boyfriends, suggesting you call them by their actual names rather than the ones you and pretty much everyone else use for them.
Ten waves his hand at you to make you stop. “You’re just doing all of this to gloss over the fact that WinWin proposed to you, and you turned him down. Do you just not want to get married or something? Is that what this is? Because that right there is a very good option: the father of your child, extremely in love with you. He’s the perfect solution to everything going on right now. Most of the fans already believe that WinWin’s definitely the one that you’re dating in the group.”
“Well, they’re not wrong. They just don’t know about all of the others. And all of the others are exactly why I can’t marry him. It’s not fair.” You thought about all of this the first time when Mark proposed, rethought it when WinWin proposed. “And can’t you just imagine what a slap in the face that would be to Mark since I turned him down? How Jaehyun would react?”
Ten rolls his eyes now. “You can’t live your life worrying about how Jaehyun’s going to react to stuff. He can be very dramatic, but I promise you, babe, he just wants you to be happy. That’s what we’ve all ever wanted for you. For sweet, sweet Mingmei.” He looks down at Mei then, making a silly face that makes her burst into giggles.
“I don’t want to get married to any of them yet. Not when I don’t know.” You clench your fists against your belly where the knots that have been there for a week still grow even tighter.
“When you don’t know what?” Ten asks, glancing up from Mei.
You shrug. “Everything. How everything will play out.”
Over the last week, especially these last few days since you and Hendery had the quiet breakup in the kitchen, things have felt so odd and unstable. Almost all of them dance around you and your feelings, it’s only your exes who seem to be perfectly fine, like Ten and Johnny. You can feel the tension in the air every time you pass one of your boyfriends, like the crackling of static electricity in the air before a storm.
You’re just waiting for the first rumble of thunder.
Weeks pass with nothing.
Then late October arrives, the days cool and overcast, but your days with your boyfriends and your daughter as she hits 6 months feel bright and sunny, watching her grow and excel every day.
But that was just the silence before the storm.
Clouds gather and the static feeling grows in the air as the silence surrounding this whole relationship breaks after so long.
Someone (“an insider” according to articles being posted online) spilled some details of the relationship, talking about how the members of NCT are all involved in some way or another with you. They don’t list your name in the articles, not that it matters because fans dig up your private information, your social media and things like that before you have the chance to prevent it.
It wouldn’t have been such a big deal, just another rumor to brush under the rug. Except that this insider had really offered up very specific details. They cite the time you went to America to join 127 on tour. How you broke up with them, only to come back a few months later and then miraculously wound up pregnant just weeks later.
The article makes it sound like you’re a gold-digging whore of the group.
You suspect that it’s a manager of the group that had leaked this info, they’re the only ones that could have had the information without spilling it for all this time. Not even any of your closest friends had known all of this.
But the article is a massive success, sweeping the internet.
And just like that, the storm you’ve seen approaching for weeks breaks around you.
Jungwoo is the first to approach you that same evening. The house has been disturbingly quiet. WinWin came and took Mei away a little while ago, telling you that you looked like you needed some time to yourself, and that he could take care of his daughter for a bit. You know he’s right. Especially when Jungwoo enters your room.
He looks like an anxious disaster, can barely get through his explanation. He cites the pressure and attention from fans on the relationship right now. The things he’s seeing online, as now fans aren’t only attacking you but are also saying very terrible things about the members. It’s destroying him.
“I love you so much, I really, really do.” Jungwoo promises, holding onto your hand so tightly that you swear you can feel your bones grinding together. “But I can’t be a part of this anymore, it’s not good for me. And, also, I just—I don’t think I’m ready to be a dad, not really. Like I thought I could be, but watching you and WinWin with her, seeing the responsibility and everything of it, I’m not ready for that. I think I’d be better as her Uncle Jungwoo, you know?”
You do. You understand. You hate it, but you get it.
Taeil comes in not too long later as you’re still wiping at the stupid hot tears that pour down your cheeks. You’re hiccuping from the force of your crying, and at first you think Taeil’s just heard you crying and has come in to comfort you. He sits down on your bed with you, grabs some tissues for you to blow your nose and wipe your face. He puts his arm around you, and you rest your head on his shoulder.
You can tell the moment when he’s about to say the words you don’t want to hear. His breath hitches as he opens his mouth, searching for the words to say.
You sit up and put a hand to his chest.
“Don’t.” You shake your head. “Please, Taeil. Don’t break up with me. Please.”
His hand covers yours, warm and soft. “Baby, I think it’s now or never, honestly.” His voice is slow and sad, overflowing with all of these different emotions. “I think that before this is all over you’re going to have to decide on one of us to be with, and I hate it, but I just know that it won’t be me.”
Those words hit like stones, and something breaks inside you as you press yourself against him, clinging, silently begging him not to leave.
This house you’ve lived in has been on such unstable foundations since the moment Lucas left you, and now you feel like the ground it’s been built on has turned to liquid. Taeil can’t leave. He’s been such a stable person that you can rely on here. You love him.
Taeil presses his lips to your hair, holds you as you cry, as you repeatedly ask him not to leave you too. But you can tell that he’s already made up his mind, signed out of this relationship, decided that the others rank higher than him, even though it’s his bed that you’d shared for so many nights. It’s Taeil that you woke up to on so many happy mornings; it’s Taeil that you’d once spent all night during your late pregnancy talking to as he touched your belly and spoke softly to your unborn daughter as she stretched and rolled, the two of you whispering together about a future that you could have together.
He holds you until you stop crying but only because your throat hurts and your nose is running and you’ve started hiccuping again. Taeil leaves only when the door opens again and Taeyong stands there.
“Oh, sorry, I can—“ Taeyong points his thumb back over his shoulder, as if he can leave and come back later. But Taeil stands up, gestures for Taeyong to take his place, and as Taeyong slides in to take up the place of the ghost of Taeil in your arms, Taeil slips out the door and closes it behind him.
You don’t even give Taeyong the chance to talk to you. “Are you breaking up with me?”
The way he goes awkwardly stiff is answer enough. A few seconds tick by, your head on his shoulder, wet cheek feeling stuck to the cotton of his tshirt. Taeyong sighs, “I don’t really belong here as much as I once did. And I think it’s far past the time we stop pretending that I do. I just think I might be happier somewhere else. You might be happier with less people in this relationship. You’re always juggling us and Mei, trying to make time to make each of us happy, but you don’t give yourself the time. I love you, I love Mei. I want both of you to have the best in life, and I just don’t think that you need me here romantically to do that.”
The words spill out of him, his thumb stroking over your knuckles as he says, “Besides, I.... I really like what I have going on with Ten. It’s easier, honestly. We understand what each other needs on some level that I just.... I don’t think you and I have ever really had. Ten’s good at making me feel small when I need it, powerful when I don’t. We have fun and can trust each other, and, like I said, I love you, but we don’t have that in the same way.”
By the time that Taeyong leaves, you feel wrung out. You’re surprised that there are still any tears left, surprised that there’s any more of your heart to break.
And then Xiaojun walks into your room. You’re half buried in your pillow and blankets. You don’t even properly see him.
“Just leave,” you tell him. “Just like everyone else.”
Xiaojun makes a noise, but you cut him off.
“Don’t. I’m so tired of breaking up, Xiaojun. Please, just, let’s get this over with. You can leave.” You turn your back on him.
“I wasn’t coming in here for that....” Xiaojun’s voice is small. “But if that’s what you want, I guess, um, I understand.”
You pull your blanket cocoon tighter around you, press your face deep into your pillow, and wallow in the darkness as Xiaojun closes the door behind him, night falls outside.
Some time passes. You’re not sure how long exactly, only that you’d heard footsteps passing up and down the stairs, doors opening and closing, showers running. The night sky visible through the tiny gap in your bedroom window’s curtains shows that it is dark outside, truly dark. You should be asleep by now, fallen into fitful dreams after the misery of the past several hours. You’d heard your bedroom door crack open a while back, heard WinWin’s quiet whisper to Mei, heard the pause, then he’d backed out of the room and taken Mei with him, leaving you to wallow in the sorrow of your breakups.
The house has fallen once more into disturbing silence when your bedroom door next opens. You can’t tell who it is right away. And then he turns the light on, flipping the switch to throw the room into blinding whiteness for a moment. You blink against it, rolling over to face the door, and once your eyes adjust, you see Jaehyun.
He presses the door shut firmly behind him, leaning back against it as he stares at you.
“Are you going to break up with me too?” You mumble, wiping your snot and tears on the pillow case. “You tired of being watched all the time? Being whispered about and shitted upon by your fans? I know I haven’t been ignoring you, so that one can’t be your reason.”
Jaehyun just sighs and pushes away from the door to come sit down on the edge of your bed. He rests his hand on your back, rubbing up and down to help you relax, but you just bury your face in your pillow again and keep crying.
This fucking sucks. You feel like your heart has been run through a shredder. Four boyfriends gone in one fell sweep, just a few hours. And you pray with every ounce of your being that Jaehyun’s not here to break up with you too. You don’t think you would blame him. You don’t really blame any of them—they deserve to live a happy life that’s not tangled in with this drama of the polyamorous relationship, your daughter, the heavy judgement from their own fans because of you—and it does make sense, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not heartbroken.
You twist your head to the side and look up at the blurry colors of Jaehyun’s face. He’s just watching you with what you think is a sad expression (but his face really is quite blurry through your teary eyes). If he’s here to end things with you, then you want to say what you have to say first, so you just say it: “Mei’s not your daughter.”
Jaehyun’s hand goes still on your back. You can feel just how tense he goes too.
“I know that.” His voice sounds tight.
“She’s not your daughter, and I know how badly you wished that she was, and now with all of this shit going on, I wouldn’t blame you if you were breaking up with me too.” You close your eyes. “You could go be free of me, go start dating some probably really hot model or actress or other idol, go make a super hot baby with her.”
“You’re right, I could go do that.” Jaehyun says it simply.
Your eyes flash open to glare at him, but he’s smiling softly at you.
“I could go do that, but why would I?” His hand starts moving on your back again. “I love you. How many times do I have to say that before you get it through that thick head of yours.” His knuckles knock gently on your forehead. You frown, and Jaehyun just laughs. “I love you, and I love Mei even though she’s not biologically my daughter. I don’t know why you think that I would leave you just because of that. I know when we broke up the first time it’s because I was shitty and jealous all the time, but I’ve grown, haven’t I? And regarding what you were just saying about finding a hot model or whatever to have a baby with, I have no intention of leaving you for anyone else. You are already hotter than I can handle, thank you. I have a beautiful daughter downstairs. And if you ever want any more beautiful babies in the future, I’m right here to help with that. If you don’t, then that’s okay too. We have Mei.”
Your eyes feel hot and your breath hitches in your chest for an entirely different reason than minutes before. You squeeze your eyes shut as fresh, hot tears spill over.
Jaehyun sinks down to lay on the bed right in front of you. His thumb traces over the mess of tears on your face, and you bring your hand up to the back of his.
With your eyes still closed, you confess, “I’m so afraid of what the future holds right now. I feel like you’re all going to leave me. All of you.” You sniffle, then quietly say, “But then you have to go and say stuff like that, Jung Jaehyun. Do you mean it?”
“Every word. Promise?” Jaehyun offers, his pinky finger intertwining with yours already.
You squeeze your pinky in a loop with his, and you each press a kiss to your hands to seal it.
“Why did you think I was going to break up with you?” Jaehyun asks after a moment. “Who else did? Why?”
So you start to explain to him the past several hours in a story with pauses for you to get through your hiccuping tears, with many deviations down side tracks through history explaining why you understand their reasoning. You talk and talk, and Jaehyun listens and holds you.
And by the time the morning sun rises, you don’t really feel better necessarily, but for the moment you feel like you’re at least being held together, you feel like maybe everything going on right now does suck immensely, but you have Jaehyun here holding you in his arms, ready to shield your fragile heart from anything else that comes your way.
Adore You <- Previous || Next -> Let Me
a/n: so this is the end of Part 1 of the Finale (I’m sorry for stretching it out into two parts, but this story isn’t able to be wrapped up in less than 40,000 words apparently). I really hated writing this, like there were so many breakups and poor y/n has to go through so much heartbreak in this part :( but it was inevitable, something I’ve been hinting at pretty much since the first part of the series I’m pretty sure. Part 2 should be posted pretty soon, so I promise the wait for it won’t be so long, but what do y’all think? Who do you think she’ll end up with? Several of them or just one?
As usual, please let me know what you think through comments, reblogs, likes, messages, whatever. Sharing is definitely super appreciated!
961 notes
·
View notes
Text
heated.
a/n: first fic of 2021 and i just missed writing smut. i didn’t know how to end it lol but i feel like it’s something that we all can relate.
word count: 3.9k
genre: smut, nsfw, quirkless AU
warnings: degradation, orgasm denial, angry fucking, intoxication (voluntarily), car sex, bakugou being an annoying little shit
pairing: bakugou x f!reader
♪ music rec: f&mu by kehlani ♪
summary: you don’t know the reason why bakugou is mad at you and purposely avoid confrontations about it. it makes you pissed and annoyed so you decide to make him taste his own medicine.
“and where the fuck are you going?” your boyfriend glares at you from the couch as he scrutinizes the skimpy dress you have on while you nonchalantly walk from the room and reach for the front door. bakugou has been giving you an attitude these past couple of days and whenever you try to confront him about it, he just ignores you and walks out of the room.
you know something is bothering him when he starts to act up but you grow annoyed when he decides to not talk about it so you plan on doing the same and let him taste his own medicine until he comes clean about what has been going around in his mind. you’re not going to let him have his way all the time.
you already list out the things that could’ve displease him but he probably wants to keep you guessing. he really got on your last nerve so you’re not going to waste time putting up with his childish behavior when he can simply be straightforward about it.
rolling your eyes, you turn to look at him. “i’m going to the club with my friends.”
you miss the twitch on his eye when you turn back around and open the door, wanting to immediately leave the house without sparing a glance back to the angry male.
“i’m coming with you,” he says, making you stop in your tracks before turning to him in confusion. “you heard me, dumbass.”
you don’t know if you’re relieved that he still chooses to tag along with you, considering the fact that he has been trying to avoid you around the house but the thought about how tense the whole car ride would be dreads you more. without leaving you a second to reply anything back, bakugou walks to the room to change his clothes.
you could’ve just ignored him and left but that wouldn’t be the best idea since he’s not in such a great mood so you wait there until he walks past you and steps out from the house.
“the fuck you’re waiting for?” he glances back at you over his shoulder while walking towards his car.
yeah, maybe you should’ve just left him.
and you were absolutely right about the car ride being tense– it easily ruined your mood too. none of you said a word (if not for the fact that he was yelling madly to a lot of people on the road) to each other and you only kept staring blankly out the window. he usually liked to put his hand on your thigh as he drove but you already expected that, judging from your past experiences.
but your mood lifts up as soon as you see your friends again, completely ignoring and oblivious to bakugou’s presence as you swallow down drinks after drinks until you feel completely lightheaded and intoxicated.
bakugou only sits down by the bar as he watches you dance with your friends. aside from wanting to make sure to run up to you if you are to pass out (he tells himself that your friends can’t carry you) or need the toilet to puke, he also makes a mental note to watch if any guys dare to get closer to you. especially when he thinks that you look absolutely stunning tonight. but he also wonders why you have to pick that dress and initially decide to wear it without having him around. he knew he would have to tag along even when he didn’t really want to.
and there comes one hungry wolf.
bakugou observes as the man slowly creeps up behind you and carefully places a hand on your shoulder and immediately draws your attention to face the stranger. he leans closer to whisper in your ear while you try to listen through the blasting music and process through your clouded head. bakugou hates to admit that the man isn’t that bad looking but he knows that you’ll push him right away and not because he is in your presence– but because even if he’s not around to look after you, he believes that it’s something you would do, so he was never worried to let you go out with your friends.
and his eyes remain still at the two of you. for the most part, he only wants to witness the rejected look on the damned dude who even dared to lay his hand on you. the bastard should’ve realized that you’re way out of his league and maybe he would save some embarrassment for tonight.
seconds pass by in minutes and you still haven’t pushed the guy away. instead, you entertain him and the whispers go back to back between the two of you as if sharing some sort of secret that only you both know. it suddenly makes him feel like he’s the intruder gawking over another guy’s girlfriend.
from his fixed gaze, it’s almost as if bakugou hasn't blinked. he doesn’t miss the giggle and the smile on your lips as he wraps his arms around you before swaying your bodies together while your perfect ass brushes against his groin teasingly.
you should know better not to do that. you should know better that your boyfriend can easily knock the guy out, doesn’t matter if he’ll get kicked out for it. you should–
oh, you know alright. and you know well what you’re doing.
the moment you turn your linked bodies to face his way with a smirk tug on your lips and the guy burying his face on the crook of your neck– he realizes that you’re trying to push his buttons.
bakugou is fuming from his seat. though the look on his face sends shivers down your spine, you can’t deny that it also makes you feel hot and bothered. but bakugou is not one to easily back down from a challenge. it’s petty and a waste of his time but a small piece of him wants to see how far you can go and he’s daring you to.
it’s starting to make you feel annoyed when he still hasn't moved to pull you away so you try to step it up and provoke him further. with the guy’s hands around your body, you start to guide them down your hips and place them on your thighs, almost letting him touch and taste the sweet nectar in the middle, but not quite. your pussy is already aching for some relief but still, you’re not one to let a random stranger help you with it.
bakugou’s hands are balled into fists– so hard his knuckles are turning white as he glares at the hands that you easily let roam around your body. the same body that only he is allowed to touch and leave marks on but he still owns the thinning patience spared inside him and continues to watch what tricks you have up your sleeves for your next act before he blows up.
you think his persistence tonight is quite surprising. usually he’d already pull you close without a second thought when a guy even dares to glance your way for too long– but at the fact that one is currently having his hands all over you? you think it’s pretty impressive at how long he’s keeping up.
so you decide to amp up.
you turn around to face back the man around you and wrap your arm around his neck. the hands that are resting on your thighs shift on your hips again and you take the chance to roll your hips more erratically to bait him into moving his hands further down to your ass by his own will.
like a moth drawn to a flame, he does just that. he shamelessly places his hands on your ass and gives it a light squeeze before shifting lower to the hem of your mini dress and deliberately grazing his fingers against the skin on your butt cheeks.
“in three… two… one…”
the guy holding you is suddenly shoved further away as your body is pulled to another muscular build. you look up to see your angry boyfriend, his red irises matching the wrath in his eyes as he glowers at the startled man.
“fuck off.” bakugou snarls and pulls you away with him before the guy can reply anything back to him. bakugou won’t be able to hold himself from beating the fuck out of him if he spares even a millisecond longer in there.
you feel sorry for using the guy, but it has been fun. bakugou’s reaction is definitely what you’ve been yearning for and your efforts have been deemed to be fruitful. that’ll show him what he gets for giving you the cold shoulder.
“katsuki, you’re walking too fast!” you complain, clicking your heels to match his pace as he has his grip on your wrist. bakugou opens the back seat of his car and forcefully pushes you in and makes you stumble on your back before getting in himself and closing the door shut.
bakugou drags you closer to him by grabbing your thighs and you blink up innocently to him when he looms above your figure in the confined space of his back seat.
“‘suki?” you feign innocence even as your thighs are already pressing together from staring back into his intense and fiery eyes.
“don’t give me that.” he snorts. “acting like you didn’t know what you did.”
“did what?” you reply coyly, jutting your bottom lip into a pout.
“oh, you don’t know?” bakugou presses your cheeks together with his hand. “open your mouth.”
he eases his grip on your face and spits in your mouth as soon as you oblige, “that’s what sluts get. swallow it.”
to spite him, you do as you’re told with no hesitation and swat his hand away, “you deserved it, asshole.”
a look of amusement quickly washes across his face, “i think you should be put in your fucking place.”
“yeah? make me.” you challenge.
“brat.” he smirks before his hand reaches under your dress to rip off your panties. you look at him in disbelief as he brings up the cloth to show how well he just shredded the pesky cloth off of you. “your favorite? oops.”
bakugou lifts up the hem of your dress to your waist and a mischievous glint flashes in his eyes as he sees how you’re already drenched. “i haven’t touched you yet and you’re already this wet?” he chuckles. “a fucking dirty slut, aren’t you?”
“then it’s probably because the guy was touching me earlier.” you say mindlessly and the cocky look on his face instantly falters, his eyebrows furrow as he remembers back the show you put on from minutes ago.
“then you won’t be needing me to touch you, right?” he sneers while his thumb teasingly ghosts over your aching clit. “won’t be needing my tongue to clean up this dirty cunt, yeah?”
a pang of regret washes over you. maybe you took it too far just to spite him or maybe he’s just good at turning the tables around. either way, you know he’s trying to get you to beg for it.
the silence from your side tells him everything he needs to know. bakugou can play this petty game too and he won’t let you win so easily. “are you going to beg for it, brat?”
the relief you’ve been wanting is right in front of you yet bakugou wants to be an ass about it.
“no? you can go back to that fucking sleaze to help you out with it.” he jeers.
“if i wanted to, i would’ve done it already.” you whine, bucking your hips closer to his hand but he slaps your thigh instead.
“really? what do you actually want then?” he squeezes the supple flesh of your thigh and watches you squirm underneath him.
you look anywhere except his menacing gaze, “want you, ‘suki.”
bakugou slaps your thigh again, “look at me and say it.”
you nibble your lower lip and offer him your puppy eyes as you look up at him. “want you ‘suki, please. need you.”
“do you think you deserve it?” he snickers. this time, he’s generous enough to press your neglected clit but that alone easily sends sparks down to your core. “do you think you’ve been a good girl for me?”
“n-no.” you whine as you wriggle your hips needily for a tiny bit of alleviation.
“and do bad girls– no, dirty whores get to cum?”
“‘suki, please– i’m sorry.”
“good,” you look at him in anticipation as he tugs down his pants and briefs but he sits down in front of you instead and strokes his cock with his hand. “go ahead and show me you’re really sorry.”
looking at him dejectedly, you still get up on your knees to take his cock in your mouth. you want to start off with kitten licks on the tip but his hand is quick to grip the back of your head and forces your head down to take all of his cock until it hits your throat.
you choke and try to muffle something out but his hand leads you up and down his shaft as your tongue slobbers all around at every inch.
“fuuuck– what’s that?” he chuckles as he watches you struggle to take his fat cock all the way in that your eyes begin to get glassy. “whores don’t get to talk.”
bakugou’s head falls back as his hand continues to guide you down his length. his lips part to allow his soft groans to escape, eyes heavy as he focuses on your puffy lips wrapped prettily around his cock.
he holds your head still as he bucks his hips upwards and the tip instantly hits your throat again. you try to take control again, working your gag reflex and running your tongue up and down his cock and give special attention on the tip.
“fuck yeah. just like that.” bakugou growls.
glancing up to the male, you can clearly see how much bakugou is enjoying this– his eyes closed shut, chest heaving as breathy moans slip from his mouth. an idea strikes you and you start to think back how you even end up here. why do you bother giving him what he wants? weren’t you trying to make him learn his lesson? the look of pure bliss on his face only serves to be a provocation for you to proceed with your devious plan. what’s the worst that could happen?
so as your saliva slobbers all over his thick cock, wet and erotic that the squelching noises are able to drown his own grunts, his hips jerking as he reaches closer for his high– you bite the tip of his cock.
bakugou’s eyes shoot wide open as he yelps and pushes you away from him. a string of curses rips from his throat as he takes a few moments to regain himself but when he sees the smug look on your face, it only acts as a fuel to the blaze that was already starting to douse inside him– and you’re definitely going to pay for it.
“you fucking brat.”
he grabs a fistful of your hair and forces you down on your back again and lifts up your legs up to your chest. he slaps your clit before he sticks his tongue out and starts to lick a fat strip of your wet slits as you writhe in pleasure. your eyes immediately close and your nails dig the leather seat of his car.
“look at me when i’m eating this fucking pussy.” he spreads the slit open with his fingers and teases your clit with the tip of his tongue.
you shamefully turn your head to his direction, his irises ablaze with the usual perseverance to make you cum on his face while his mouth is attached to your cunt and his hands grip your thighs firmly to hold your legs up and spread. lewd squelching sounds echoes in the car and your breathing starts to hitch as you feel the coil inside your guts twists and turns tightly.
your legs start to tremble when he uses his finger to flick the aching bud and his wet muscle delves into your sopping hole. bakugou is nose deep inside your cunt, diligently laps off your essence like a man having his last meal.
“mmh– ‘suki– so good! gonna cum–” you cry as your hand grabs a lock of his hair to grind his face closer to your pussy. his mouth latches onto your clit, groaning a repetition of ‘mmph’s against the sensitive bud at how your tight hole is practically sucking his finger in with each of his thrust.
“yeah? gonna make a mess on my face, baby?” from the firm grip on his hair, bakugou realizes that you’re close. his eyes gaze upon your face– forehead glistening with sweat, chants of mewls and moans escaping from your gaping mouth that a bit of drool is already trickling from the corner and eyes screwed shut in pure ecstasy.
“yesyesyes– fuck!” you pant, toes curling in your shoes when the tight coil inside you is threatening to snap at any moment. “‘m gonna cum!”
and as you are about one step closer to your release, bakugou abruptly pulls away.
“you never learn your lesson, don’t you?” even through the dim lights of the parking lot, you can visibly see your juices glisten on his chin and the tip of his nose. “sluts don’t get to cum.”
your eyebrows furrow as you only silently watch him lean back on his seat and wipes his lips with his sleeve.
“i’m giving you a chance to start over,” he taps his thigh twice while the other hand pumps his hard cock, the tip flushing with a bead of precum. “show me you deserve to cum.”
you get up almost instantly before bakugou shifts in the middle to make space for you to prop on your knees in between his thighs. he guides you by the hips with his free hand, explicitly displaying his control over you at the moment before allowing you to impale yourself on his dick.
“how much do you want it?” sets of hazy, passion-filled eyes stare up at you while he teases your swollen clit with the tip of his cock and smearing your juices with his pre.
“i- i want it so bad, ‘suki.” the clench of your hands on his broad shoulder tenses at the sensitivity. you can see sweat already formed on his head and neck from the lack of ventilation in the car.
“hmm… and?” a grin etched on his lips as he spanks the flesh of your ass, hard enough to make your body jolt and a yelp to escape from your mouth.
“a-and i need your cock to make me full.” you whine, rolling your hips a little as if to relieve the annoying itch that you’ve been dying to scratch but couldn’t.
“so needy,” he tsked, guiding his throbbing cock down and halting just under your hole agonizingly. “lucky for you, i like needy little sluts.”
bakugou leads you by the hips to pull you down and hisses when he finally impales inside you. without wasting time, you start to desperately bounce on his fat cock and his hands find their way to grab your ass.
“fucking perfect– hah– so tight.” he leans further on his seat and watches his dick appear and disappear perfectly inside your sopping cunt in trance.
the praise serves as encouragement inside your head and causes you to ride and grind harder, completely heedless over how the car looks from the outside; bumping up and down.
the temperature in the car starts to rise and so are your bodies. vapors are already tinting the windows from the results of your heavy pants and none of you even mind about how suffocating it feels breathing through the dense air.
your body leans towards your boyfriend’s as your lips’ collide to a sloppy kiss before a loud moan tears from your throat when his grip on your ass tightens and rams his cock inside you relentlessly.
“look at you,” bakugou grunts over your shoulder as he continues to pound while your body arches over how good and deep he is inside that you can feel the tip brushing your cervix over and over. “fucked like a whore.”
the degradation makes you feel hotter than it should and you can only whine in agreement. as your orgasm gradually builds up, you quickly sense your pussy clenching tighter around his cock and feel every vein that brushes against your wall.
“mmmhh– so good!” you sob as your mind turns hazy, body trembling again once the same coil begins to twist and turn tightly and begging to break.
“wanna cum on this fat cock, don’t you?” he growls against your skin and smacks your ass before picking up the pace and fucks you harder. “let me hear you.”
“i– cum– please!” you try to form cohesive words in your head but nonsense babbles are the only things leaving your mouth.
bakugou lets out a haughty chuckle. “i can’t fucking–” he slaps your ass again, “hear you.”
through his teasing, even his own pace starts to stutter from how good your cunt is milking his cock but cumming first would mean losing.
“t-too much!” your hand curls into a fist through his hair. “wanna cum wanna cu–! ah!” you whimper in a chant before your eyes roll back and a huge wave of orgasm washes throughout your body and finally sends you into a state of frenzy.
“that’s it, baby.” his sporadic thrusts continue, making you whine from the overstimulation but he can feel that he’s already close from the twitch of his cock. “gonna fill you up.”
you can only hold on to him for dear life as he increases his faltering pace again until he can finally cross the bridge that leads him to his own high.
“f-fuck–!” bakugou bites your shoulder to muffle his moan and the clench on your ass that never left becomes stronger as he releases his hot cum inside you.
bakugou unlatches from your shoulder when you wail from the stinging pain and snickers to himself while he takes time to regain his composure. you push back his wet bangs with your fingers and place a chaste kiss on his sweaty forehead.
“so are you gonna tell me why you were mad?” you murmur, pulling away and sitting next to him before he pulls his pants back up. bakugou ponders over the reason with a furrowed brow and walks out from the car to take a heap of fresh air instead.
you’re too tired to get irritated this time, so you slip to the front seat and open the door to take a breather yourself. when he gets back into the car, he turns on the engine and the air conditioner before letting out a deep sigh.
“because...” he mumbles quietly just enough for you to hear and avoids looking at you straight in the eyes. “you retweeted a spoiler from the manga i’m reading.”
“wait, what?” you don’t know if you want to laugh or get mad because you’re sure that it had a spoiler warning and it wouldn’t be entirely your fault.
“shut up, dumbass. it fucking ruined my whole day. i don’t wanna talk about this anymore.”
enjoyed this piece? wanna buy me coffee? :)
duskamethyst © 2020 • all rights reserved. do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.
#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugou#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou smut#bakugo smut#bakugo#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo#r; writes#bnha smut#mha smut#bakugo x you#bakugo x reader#damn this is a lot of tags#bnha fanfic#mha fanfic#bnha bakugo katsuki
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
hello i have a prompt ☺️; we know for a fact ian and mickey have to sleep close so im picturing them getting into a silly argument and one of them willingly goes to sleep on the couch and when they wake up from their restless sleep at like 1am the other is sleeping on the floor next to the couch, or wakes them up climbing onto the couch. you get it !!
This has already been done SO WELL by @southside-forever in Hold Me Now and just yesterday by @sunnyian here that I don't want to do something too similar, so I twisted it just a bit. Hope you don't mind!
When Ian gets home, he goes to the bedroom first.
He’s been keeping himself away for hours, at this point, and he’s desperate to see his husband. He hadn’t really wanted to leave at all, but his mind had been racing all day, his body twitching right along with it. He couldn’t keep still next to Mickey when they went to bed, and the other man had huffed at him the third time Ian’s knee had gotten him in the gut.
“Jesus Christ, Ian, stop fuckin’ movin’“ he had growled, shoving himself back to put some space between them. “Will you just calm down already?”
His eyes had been cold and hard in the moonlight coming in around the curtains, and Ian had tried, he really had. He had managed to lay still just long enough to Mickey to doze off, his light snores filling the room. There was enough distance between them that for once, Ian couldn’t feel the vibrations.
Then he had the urge to move, again, so he slipped out of bed rather than wake his husband and carefully tiptoed out of the room.
He didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t want to bother Mickey, either. So he walked right past the sofa, right past the kitchen, grabbed his coat from a hook by the front door and his shoes from against the wall, and headed out into the cool night.
He’d spent a while wandering around, at first. Sat by the empty, quiet pool outside, watching the water move with the breeze. Walked the edge of the property a few times. Headed out into the Westside proper, past the young bar-goers and vendors that roamed the streets at night.
There was a time he might have enjoyed all of that. He vaguely remembered it, even--wanting to be part of that life, one of the people that never slept, always out and about and having the time of their lives.
But that wasn’t him anymore. His life was back in the apartment, sleeping peacefully in their bed.
So he turned, and went home.
Now, looking into the bedroom, he thinks he should have stayed out longer. Not for himself--there was nothing for him out there. But for Mickey, who slept on without a care in the world, taking up the whole bed despite his short limbs, pillow smashed into his cheek where Ian’s chest would be any other night. Mickey who was doing just fine without him there.
He shuts the door again quietly. It’s not the place for him to be right now. He goes to the living room and settles on the sofa instead, folding his long legs so that he fits. He doesn’t bother with a blanket, or a pillow; he doesn’t expect to sleep anyway. No, he just lies there. Lies there and thinks of Mickey alone in the next room.
At some point, he finally drifts off.
--
When Ian wakes again, he’s surprised to find that enough time has passed that the shadows in the room have moved.
And that’s not all that moved: instead of in the bedroom, on their soft downy mattress, Mickey is here. Wrapped in blankets, laying on the floor, with one hand raised to clutch at Ian’s bicep up on the sofa.
He’s sleeping, a mild frown marring his otherwise relaxed face, and Ian doesn’t know what’s happening here.
“Hey,” Ian says softly, sitting up. Mickey’s hand falls from his arm and lands on the edge of the cushion, arm bent awkwardly. He blinks awake slowly at the change.
“Hey,” he croaks out, and it makes Ian smile before he remembers why they’re here.
“What are you doing out here?” he asks, then bites his lip as how needy he sounds. “Thought you were mad at me,” he adds anyway, figuring the damage was done.
“Woke up and you weren’t there. Not mad at you,” Mickey mumbles sleepily, patting around until his hand lands on Ian’s knee. He squeezes once, gently, strokes the bone with his thumb. His eyes are squinted and bleary, but he looks up at Ian from the floor the same way he always does: achingly sweet.
“The fuck were you thinkin’ that for?” he asks, and Ian doesn’t really have an answer.
“You seemed upset,” he whispers anyway, and Mickey hums, sitting up without letting go.
“Cause I was,” he answers simply, and Ian feels his heart drop before Mickey gives his leg another soft squeeze. “Don’t like seein’ you all tense like that, man,” he finishes, licking dry lips. “Like you’re not really there.”
It hurts, to hear it. But Mickey isn’t wrong, either, even if they both wish he was.
Still, it isn’t all that bad. Ian is on a swing, sure, but they both know it. They knew it well before tonight. And he’s taking his meds, and keeping his schedule (aside from his late-night roaming); he has an appointment tomorrow with his counselor, and one next week with his doctor just in case. It’s under control, as much as it can be, and they have to embrace that, too.
So Ian tries.
“I’m here now,” he offers, covering Mickey’s hand with his own. Mickey flips his over to put them palm to sweaty palm, gripping just this side of too tight.
“Yeah,” Mickey acknowledges, with just the barest hint of a relieved smile. “You are.”
Ian shifts on the sofa, pushing himself back into the worn cushions, and tugs on Mickey’s hand. Mickey follows, leaving behind the tangle of blankets on the floor to settle against Ian chest to chest, his head tucked into Ian’s neck. He’s practically falling off the edge, but Ian wraps a protective arm around him to keep him stable.
Stable, like Mickey helps keep him.
“Love you,” he whispers into Mickey’s soft hair, his breath so light the edges barely flutter.
“I know,” Mickey murmurs into the skin of his neck, and to Ian, it’s the best response he could get.
#i'm so tired it isn't funny you guys#i was out way past my bedtime last night and work today sucked as per usual#i had half a glass of wine and now i'm practically asleep#daily speedwrite#gallavich#ian gallagher#mickey milkovich#hurt/comfort#kinda?#fanfic
326 notes
·
View notes
Note
heyy! Could I request a Kaz brekker and reader fic where shes really sensitive and kind and the opposite of him and they're dating but he seems to be spending more time with inej planning a heist and reader gets jealous and during the heist she saved inej from a bullet, getting hurt in the process and tells Kaz,in a delirious state, that shes happy she saved inej for him and everyone helps him plan a picnic for her while shes healing and suprises her? Its quite a long request but it would be wonderful if you wrote it!! thanks💕
Ends of the Earth (Kaz Brekker x Reader)
Hope you enjoy reading! I had a lot of fun writing it :)
Warnings: reader gets shot, that's about it?
Genre: Angst to (minimal) Fluff
Word Count: 2126
You’re not sure how you could have ever expected him to return what you felt for him.
You and Kaz were essentially opposites- he was a hardened criminal, you were more of a person who just ran with the wrong people. He was mean and commanding, you were sweet and endearing. Where he’d kill people with no hesitation, you’d probably be torn over it for the rest of your life.
Though the Barrel seemed to have no room for someone as kind as you, you had found yourself to fit fine along with rest as someone to watch over the rest. Your skill of memorization was appreciated when Kaz needed to reflect back on a certain part of the plan, and besides, having someone counteract his cruelty was appreciated by the others.
Sometimes, like now, it was hard to be a part of the Crows. Watching Inej stand by his side, watching them work together like well-oiled parts of the same machine, it was bittersweet. You couldn’t help the jealousy that overtook you, but kindness was ingrained in you. You couldn’t hate him. You couldn’t hate Inej.
“So we’ll take them out there. Inej, I’m going to need your backup here.” His voice snaps you back into the moment.
“Got it.” She nods.
“Before then, though, You’ll be stationed here. Y/N, I’m going to want you to stick close to her. She can fight for the both of you in case anything goes wrong.”
You’re useless, you berate yourself. You’re going to need Inej to save you. Maybe if you could defend yourself the way she could, he’d like you more.
“Understood.”
“That should wrap everything up. We’ll meet at the usual spot tonight. We’ll take transport there and sneak in. From there, everything should go according to plan.”
…
Night quickly falls, and you’re all gathered.
“To reiterate, I’m going to go grab the paintings. Inej and Y/N, stick together and communicate when it’s safe. Jesper, you’re going to shoot out the lights when signaled, and make sure that carriages are ready when it’s time. Wylan, wait it out here with him. If all goes to shit, blow this place. Clear?”
Echoes of agreement echo from around you, and you nod. This should be an easy heist.
“Y/N, c’mon. Let’s head over this way.”
Inej takes your wrist and leads you to the edge of the building. Her stare is intimidating as she surveys the building, before turning back to you.
“I’ll scale the walls, and then I’ll use the rope to pull you up. We can wait on the top of the building for a bit, before slipping in through a window. That okay?”
Damn her for even being considerate to you. And you still have the nerve to be jealous over her. Her and Kaz are so similar- they’d be perfect for each other.
You still can’t find it in your heart to be completely happy about that.
“Y/N? You alright?”
“Huh?” you snap out of your reverie, and give a bashful smile. “Yeah, that’s good. I’ll spot you. Hopefully I’ll be able to get up there…”
Inej throws you a reassuring smile back. “You’ll be okay.”
You watch with awe as she scales the building with no issue, truly living up to the nickname she had been given. She’s nearly invisible as she reaches the top, you note. She’s incredible.
You wait on the ground patiently as Inej lowers the rope, before you hear voices.
You stare up at her, wide-eyed, before running and diving behind a tree.
“The wine good tonight?”
It’s a guard. Your heart rate quickens, and bring a hand over your mouth. Quiet your breathing. If they catch you, you’re dead, and you’ll be the dead weight of this mission.
“I don’t know, haven’t had a drink yet. Maybe once everyone’s gone. Ha! The Stadwatch won't penalize me if there’s no guests to guard!”
“Yeah, that’s the spirit! All we have to make sure is no scum tries to steal the painting.”
“Like anybody would dare show their face here.”
The other guard laughs, and you wait with baited breath as they finally round the corner.
You check both directions, before you quietly slip out.
“Inej?” you’re quiet and slightly shaken. Death and capture was always palpable on these missions, but it had come swinging at you quicker than you had expected. “You still there?”
“Yeah,” her voice comes from above. “I’m here. You’re fast on your feet. Good thinking.”
“Thank you, and thank you for waiting.”
The rope drops down for the second time, and you take a hold of it, pulling yourself up with a bit of her help. Your hands finally grasp the ledge of the building, and Inej extends one of her hands to help pull you up. You’re hauled onto the rooftop, and though it’s a bit ungraceful, you’re okay.
“Thanks,” you whisper.
“No problem.”
Your eyes are both directed on the walkways below.
“You scout out for guards down there, and I’ll check for guards in the windows? We should signal to Kaz soon.”
“Sure.”
You keep a careful eye down below, hearing Inej scurry to different window points. You watch as she slips to one of them, peering through.
“Just our luck,” she mutters cheerfully. “This window’s fine. Let’s open it. I’ll go first, but send a flare for Kaz. I’m going to need that window open as soon as that flare goes up.”
“Alright.” You take a deep breath, before shooting the flare off. Inej thrusts open the window and pulls you in behind her.
You watch a figure walk past the doorway. That should be Kaz, and now, he should be slipping past you to go to the next doorway to take the painting-
“To the roof again, now-” Inej says, and starts to step out behind the boxes, and the figure turns back.
That’s not Kaz.
A click.
She’s going to be shot.
You’re acting on pure impulse and nerves when you shove her aside, and the bullet pierces through your shoulder. You crumble, and Inej tries to keep you from completely collapsing.
You grit your teeth. You’re trying not to let tears stream down your face, but everything hurts and Inej is over you and she’s saying something but you can’t hear her-
You try to force yourself to sit up, and you see a cane poised to hit the guard over the head. You turn away, and thank your murky hearing that you can’t hear the scream that emits from the guard.
Kaz.
“What happened?” His voice is losing it’s cool quickly.
“She was shot by the guard, I don’t think she’s quite registering it-” Inej’s voice is more panicked, but she forces herself to be analytical. “She’s going to need treatment, and quickly.”
“Okay,” he breathes in sharply. “Okay. Go down the hall, grab the paintings, and meet Jesper by the transportation. I’ll get her out.”
“Okay.”
Inej dashes down the hall, and he takes in your state. Your pupils are blown wide, and you’re trying not to cry, but it hurts.
“Kaz,” you breathe out. “Thank the Saints. Is Inej okay?”
He frowns at that. What about Inej? Inej was fine, you’d been shot. Did you have no self-preservation instincts?
“Inej is fine,” he mutters.
“That’s good,” you sigh out. “That’s good. I don’t quite think I’m going to make it out here alive, so just in case I don’t, I love you. Though I’m glad she’s okay, for your sake.”
His frown deepens. “I’m sorry? For my sake?”
“You’re in love with her. She with you. You guys can live your happy ending. As happy as the Barrel can get, anyway.” Your smile is slightly delirious, and he knows you’re not thinking rationally.
“Stop talking.”
“I’m sorry, are you mad at me? Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t-” you cough, “think I’d die, but if it’s for you and Inej, then I think it’s worth it.”
“Nobody is worth your life,” he nearly yells. “You’re not going to die, Y/N. I won’t allow it.”
“Please, just let me stay here. They’re going to find you if you don’t.”
“I don’t care.”
He’s pulling off his jacket and carefully using it as a tourniquet for your shoulder.
“Can you walk?”
“Kaz, please-”
“Can you walk.” It’s a statement, maybe a threat.
“Maybe- maybe with a bit of support,” your words are weak. You’re running out of time. “The world looks sideways, though- face it, Kaz, I’m not going to make it. I don’t want to be dead weight, your touch aver-”
“I’m not going to combust into fucking flames if you lean on me! Goddamnit, let me help you!”
His anger startles you. You hold back more tears as he pulls you up. At least he took the care to pull you up by the other arm. “Okay.”
The world is spinning and his face isn’t clear, and time seems to speed up as both of you go through the hallways, finally meeting Jesper and Inej in the courtyard.
“Bloody hell,” Jesper mutters.
“Go. To the White Rose. Nina should be able to do something.” Kaz leaves no room for argument. You’re passed out now, and he’s almost thankful you can’t feel anything as the carriage rushes through harsh weather and bumpy roads.
I don’t quite think I’m going to make it out here alive, so just in case I don’t, I love you.
Were you that oblivious? Did you think he was in love with Inej? How could you be so blind?
How could you sacrifice yourself so he could live what you thought to be a “happy ending”?
You didn’t plan it, did you?
He carefully takes off one of his gloves, hovering his hand over your forehead.
You’re still warm.
He doesn’t believe in Saints, but now, he’s almost praying to them that you’ll be okay.
Please be okay.
...
Inej glances at Kaz, standing over her in the White Rose.
She’s been out for days at this point. Nina could only do so much, with whatever corpse-like power she’d gained. The rest had to be natural healing.
Inej clears her throat. “She’d go to the ends of the world for you. For your happiness.”
Kaz remains still.
“Don’t make her do so again.”
..
Your eyes flutter open, the brightness of the room nearly rendering you blind.
Your shoulder hurts like a bitch, but besides that, you’re alive.
Happiness and heaviness fill your heart at once. You’re alive, you’re okay. What had you said to Kaz in your state?
Hopefully nothing stupid.
“You’re awake. I’m glad.”
Kaz’s voice comes from the edge of the room. He’s leaning on the wall, cane in hand. When was Kaz upfront with his emotions?
“Yeah. How long was I out for?”
“A couple of days.”
“Days?” Your voice cracks. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”
That’s a lie. You thought you were dead, for sure. He doesn’t have to know that.
“...Right.” He’s skeptical, but pushes himself off the wall and makes his way over to you. “This may be a bit early, but would you want to go for a walk?”
“Sure.” Is he kicking you out of the Crows? Why would he want to go on a walk just after you’ve woken up? You’re screwed.
He waits for you to stand, and then you’re both walking side by side, into the gardens of the courtyard. He doesn’t say anything, just leads you to a small place under an apple tree. A picnic blanket is spread out, with a small basket laying on top of it.
Your eyes widen in surprise, and a brief smile flashes across his face. “Nice, isn’t it?”
“Kaz- what is all of this?”
“You said you loved me.”
Horror paints across your face, and you lower your head in shame. “I’m sorry, I didn’t, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, I know you love Inej, that- was a bit unprompted of me, I’m sorry-”
He blinks at your rushed words. “Y/N. I’m not in love with Inej. She’s part of the Crows, as are you. Though- if you mean it,” he clears his throat, “that you love me- then take this as a surprise first date.”
Your expression morphs into a shy smile. He’s probably not ready to say it back. It doesn’t matter. He feels the same way.
“Happy first date, then.”
You’re both talking and eating, small smiles on both of your faces, a stark contrast to the harsh atmosphere of Ketterdam. It doesn’t matter to him. You’re alive, you’re safe, and you’re with him. You’d go to the end of the world for him. He’d do the same for you.
He loves you.
#shadow and bone#grishaverse#six of crows#six of crows x reader#soc kaz#soc x reader#kaz x reader#kaz brekker x reader#kaz rietveld#kaz brekker imagine#thank you for the request!#request
245 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi val! Got a request, it's okay if you don't wanna write it, but can you write about peter telling the reader he's going on a huge mission and he's excited about it but the reader is so worried they end up arguing? But when peter gets back from mission all bruised, the reader is still upset but dresses his wound anyway and it ends up with fluff??
abort mission
w/c: 2.4k
warnings: mentions of blood, swearing, and angst
a/n: woah woah woah i ended up writing way more than i expected but i loved this request so much :,) i hope you do too
-
“we’re staying in this, like, super fancy castle while we’re there. it’s gonna be awesome,” peter rambles to you. he takes all the clean shirts in his drawer and throws them into a suitcase.
he’s packing for a mission in europe with the avengers, and you’re here to say goodbye. you’ve been pretty quiet while peter gives you as many details as he’s allowed to. it’s always an honor when the team invites him on. he gets so stoked about it. you’re happy he’s happy and gets to pursue his passion, but you’ve noticed a pattern.
every time peter leaves the country with earth’s mightiest heroes, he comes back in worse condition than the last. it seems like they protect everyone except peter. he’s oblivious to the fact that the end result is always his suffering. he’s just glad to be there. really, he gets nothing in return except scars that never heal, not even a permanent spot on the team. 
so, you’re not thrilled he agreed to go.
“plus, i get to miss two weeks of school.” peter beams, getting onto his knees to zip the suitcase. “feels like a vacation almost.” “you like school, though,” you remind him. you’re sat at the edge of his bed while you watch, rather than help. he hops up again with a shrug. “i like vacations more.” “it’s not a vacation,” you mutter to yourself, then speak up.
“how are you gonna catch up? that’s a lot of missing assignments.” with that same innocent smile, peter walks over to you. he grabs both your hands and laces your fingers together. “i’m a fast learner. besides, ned said he’d help me.” you sigh, looking down at the floor so you don’t have to look at peter. “or, you could. make it into a little study date when i get back,” he suggests while playing with your fingers.
“i don’t even want you to go,” you finally admit and meet his sparkling eyes. nothing could ever dull them. “why not? you’re gonna miss me?” peter teases, pressing a couple of kisses to your palm. “you don’t have to. i’m pretty sure france has wifi.” he wiggles his eyebrows. “oui oui, mademoiselle, eh?” despite yourself, you giggle at his french accent and tug on his hands. he sits down next to you with a chuckle.
“nat has been giving me lessons,” peter explains, you quirking an eyebrow. “she speaks french?” “she speaks a lot of languages, actually. she’s so cool.” peter scoots closer to you and sets his hands on your waist, his voice dropping. “you’d love her.” your face twists up in confusion at the idea.
you don’t have anything against the avengers, obviously. they’re good people. you’re just not the biggest fan of them at the moment, considering the circumstances they’ve put peter under.
“peter, i don’t want you to go,” you repeat more seriously than before. your teeth sink into your lower lip. “and, it’s not because i’ll miss you.” “none taken,” peter jokes, implying there should’ve been a no offense. he then realizes how distressed you look, so he cuts it out. “sorry, sorry. i’m done now. how come?”
you take his hand again and hold it tight. “what if you get hurt?” you ask in the nicest way possible, out of care. “i don’t wanna see you hurting, pete. this mission sounds really... dangerous.” he runs his thumb over the back of your hand, his grin faltering a bit. “it is, but i’m ready for it. i’ll be fine.”
you’re not convinced yet. that line he likes to overuse isn’t enough to do the trick.
his eyes searching for yours, peter brushes a piece of your hair back. “have a little faith in me, babe.” “no, i... i do. i have the most faith in you, peter.” you find yourself frowning as he twirls your locks around his finger. “that’s not the problem.” peter’s voice becomes a whisper. “what is it, then? talk to me.”
you do the opposite because you’re afraid you’ll upset him further, which is the last thing he needs right now. your silence prompts peter to fill it. “would it make you feel better if i say mr. stark is keeping an eye on me?” he’s smiling sheepishly, you scoffing. “oh, like he kept an eye on you in amsterdam?”
the only eye related activity that happened there was peter almost losing one of his. he’d come back with an eyepatch and couldn’t see out of it for over a month. to this day, there’s still a bit of blood in it when you look close enough.
“i already told you, that was my fault,” peter grumbles, turning so he faces forward. “i didn’t listen to him-“ “who gives a shit? he’s the one who put you in that situation!” you blurt out. you’ve been way too patient this whole time, and now you’re reaching your breaking point. “you say that like i didn’t wanna be there.” peter clenches his jaw, still mostly calm.
“either way, mr. stark,” you mock what peter always calls him, “was supposed to keep you safe, and he didn’t. i’m scared it’s gonna happen again.” letting out a noise close to a growl, peter stands up from the bed. “you’re not listening to me, y/n. everything was fine. i just-“ you’re not in the mood to hear him make excuses, so you interrupt.
“do you know any other sixteen year olds who fight literal terrorists on their free time?” you rhetorically ask and get to your own feet. peter tries to walk away from you, only you follow him. “you’re a kid, peter, in case you forgot.” he spins around to give you a nasty look. “do you know any other sixteen year olds who stick to fucking walls?”
your heart starts to race from his sudden outburst. he’s scary when he’s mad, and he almost never gets mad at you. all you can do is blink dumbly. “didn’t think so,” peter spits. “this is what i’m supposed to do, help people. is that so wrong?” his breathing becomes ragged as his anger grows.
“what about you? are you helping yourself?” you speak softly, expecting an answer this time. “you’re not my fucking therapist, y/n,” he deflects the question. “i am your girlfriend, though. i care about you so much, you know that.” eyebrows furrowed in concern, you reach out for peter. he takes a step back. it doesn’t take long for tears to cloud your vision.
“i was excited to share this with you, and i thought you’d be happy for me.” peter balls his hands into fists at his sides. his voice stays low. “instead, you made it all about yourself. you can never let me enjoy team stuff.” you’re speechless, peter nodding as he lets his words sit. “thanks for the support.”
“you’re an asshole,” you laugh out bitterly and wipe under your eyes.
he didn’t mean to make you cry. he was so caught up in himself, he didn’t realize you were.
peter’s whole demeanor changes. “y/n, baby...” he attempts to put a hand on your cheek, but you hit it away. “get off of me. what did i just say?” you sniffle, your tone harsh in contrast. “you’re an asshole, peter.” he changes his mind about feeling bad. you’ve berated him way more than he did you, anyway.
“you should go. i have to be up early,” peter decides, even though he’d said you could stay the night. whatever, you don’t want to anymore. “fine,” you agree shortly. “i’m leaving.” he stands there while you collect your things, shoving them into your bag. you’re going slow enough so he has a chance to stop you. he doesn’t.
you pass by him on your way to his door, sucking in a breath. here’s your official goodbye. “see you later, peter. don’t die.” “mhm, i won’t,” he replies, his tongue poking at his cheek. with one more shared look between you two, you make your grand exit, no doubt informing may of her nephew’s behavior before you’re gone.
peter immediately regrets the way he talked to you, and that you’re leaving things like this. you were only trying to protect him. you’ll never be able to save the city like he does, so this is how you do it. he truly is an asshole for not seeing that.
frustration consuming him, peter kicks over his fully stuffed suitcase, its contents spilling out. he grits his teeth.
“fan-fucking-tastic.”
-
you don’t talk to peter the whole two weeks he’s gone except for some are you alive and yes texts. he’d called you quite a few times, and was sent to voicemail for all of them. he gave you the benefit of the doubt because of timezones.
it was actually because you declined, which peter knew deep down was the real reason.
he’s coming home from his mission today. you’re not sure when or if he plans on dropping by. you’re not sure you’d like him to, either. you don’t really get a choice in the end.
there’s a series of knocks at your window, at some ungodly time in the night. you’re all too familiar with this routine. it’s peter.
you slip out from under your covers, a scowl already painting your face as you go to the window. surely enough, peter is perched in front of it, clad in red and black. the suit must be new because you’ve never seen it. you push up the window and step aside so he can get through.
“thanks,” peter mumbles, climbing into your room less gracefully than usual. he’s sort of wobbly when he lands. “yeah,” you dully acknowledge. “how was france?” “uh, good. you know, lots of cheese and all that.” his voice is muffled from his mask, since he hasn’t taken it off yet. that’s odd. “i was talking about the mission, but cool,” you almost laugh back.
“the mission was... fine,” peter clarifies and scratches the back of his neck. he never describes something as simply being ‘fine.’ when the boy talks, he lectures. you’re starting to get worried. “that’s good. at least you didn’t die, right?” you say to lighten the mood. peter awkwardly chuckles. “haha, yeah. thank god for that.”
you hum and walk over to sit on your bed, peter staying where he is. “what time did you get back?” you wonder, a completely harmless question. “um, this morning,” he says in response, raising your suspicions. “why’re you still in the suit, then?” you squint at him. “i like it, by the way.” “thanks, y/n/n. i, uh,” peter trails off, no good explanations coming to mind.
you’re quickly developing a hunch for what what down. you wordlessly get up again, meeting peter by your window. he’s nervous to see what happens next. peter’s shoulders slump when your fingers land on his mask. you carefully lift it, revealing his face to you. his banged up, bloody face.
“surprise.” peter musters up a grin, you tossing the mask at his chest. you’re beyond angry now. it’s not at him, athough it is at his injuries. “please don’t be mad,” he nearly begs, you shaking your head. you go to leave your room for some space. peter’s fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling you back. “i should’ve listened to you, okay? i’m sorry,” he genuinely apologizes.
you still don’t say anything while you look over his beaten body. there’s a gash with stitches in it on his chin, a deep slice across the bridge of his nose, cuts littering his cheeks. he’s even got a busted lip for good measure. this might be the worst condition he’s let you see him in.
“you were right, y/n. i think... i think i’m gonna sit the next one out. it’s too much for me, clearly,” peter continues, fingers sliding down to lock with yours. “you should say you told me so.” “how... how did this happen?” you manage to get out instead. “the bad guy fought me,” he says with the hint of a smirk. “i won, though.”
it’s a relief that he’s handling this so well, even earning a laugh from you. that puts you more at ease.
“this is probably a dumb question, but are you okay?” you brush your thumb over peter’s cheekbone gently, avoiding his scratches. “not really. my face hurts a lot, and flash is gonna tease the hell out of me on monday.” his lips form a line, arms looping around your waist. it’s very much welcomed by you.
“you just spent two weeks trying not to die, and you’re worried about flash?” you snicker and draw a heart on his skin. peter shrugs a shoulder. “he’s so mean to me.” he brings you in closer to him. “besides, this is the normal kid stuff i should be focusing on.” you’re glad he finally came to terms with that. you’ve been saying it for the longest time.
you smile wickedly at him. “exactly. so is all that homework you have to make up.” peter lets out a breathy laugh, you laying your head on his chest. “i missed you,” he tells you quietly. “really wish i could kiss you right now.” “i missed you too, pete. so much,” you murmur into him. your hands settle on his biceps. “and, i forgive you.” “thanks, baby,” peter exhales.
“of course. once your lips are healed,” you pull back from his chest, making a kissing noise. “pucker up, lover- oh my god.” you’re looking up at him with wild eyes. peter gets reasonably startled from it. “what? what’s wrong?” “you... you’re bleeding!” you point at his stitches. he winces, touching the spot. there’s blood, alright.
“crap. do you have a bandaid or something?” peter gives you an apologetic smile. “mr. stark said i should cover them when this happens.” maybe, tony isn’t so bad after all. you nod and take him by his hand. “yeah, in the bathroom. come with me.”
peter sits on the edge of your bathtub while you patch up his chin. he tells you more about the fun parts of his mission, you placing the cinderella bandaid over his gash. you have those from a while ago and also regular ones. however, he preferred the princess design.
“you saw the real mona lisa? like, in person? that’s insane.” you grin, smoothing down peter’s bandaid one last time. “yeah, she’s even prettier up close.” peter returns the smile. “thanks for taking care of me, y/n. i swear i don’t deserve you sometimes.” now pouting at him, you crouch down so you’re at his level. “it’s the other way around, peter.”
“let’s just agree to disagree,” he concludes and tucks a stray hair behind your ear. “i love you, okay?” “i love you, too.” you press a light kiss to his bandaid, getting a giggle from peter.
yeah, it’s going to be hell finding replacements for his lips.
#peter parker#peter parker fluff#peter parker imagine#peter parker x y/n#peter parker x you#peter parker x reader#peter parker angst#peter parker smut#peter parker fic#peter parker fanfiction#tom holland#tom holland fluff#tom holland x reader#tom holland x y/n#tom holland x you#tom holland imagine#tom holland smut
859 notes
·
View notes
Text
counting crimes - pierre gasly
illicit affairs, part three
summary: “wandering eyes and comfortable lies, you seem to sleep just fine” counting crimes / nessa barrett
a/n: i’m thinking there’s only gonna be two more parts but that may change, we’ll see. enjoy this and let me know what u think! feedback is always appreciated xoxo
also this gif today killed me
warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, semi public sex shocker!, lil angst, cocky pierre
Your eyes widen as you try to comprehend what to do. Someone was at the door and Pierre was still inside of you, in shock. “Hey, y/n? Are you in there?” Max’s voice could be heard through the door. He tried to push the door in but the deadbolt stopped him.
You glared at Pierre, cleared your throat and placed a finger on his lips. “Yes, give me a few seconds.” You panicked and pulled your dress up, trying not to make too much noise.
Where the fuck was Pierre supposed to go? You should have just kept quiet. Your eyes focused on the window and you pointed towards it, quietly shoving him out.
He squeezed himself through the window and stepped down onto the grass. After quietly shutting the window, you looked in the mirror and readjusted your dress. Your hair needed some readjusting as well, so you quickly brushed through it.
You unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door to see your husband. “Hey,” he smiled at you, genuinely happy to see you.
“Hi, Max.” Your voice was shaking but you smiled to try to play it off. You usually had a good amount of time to psych yourself up before you went back to Max but you could still feel how Pierre had fucked you.
You were awful. He placed his hands on your hips and kissed your cheek. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You’re kind of hot.” He placed the back of his hand to your forehead.
“Yeah, it was really hot in there but I feel better now.” Hopefully he would buy that story.
“Well, if you’re feeling better now, I have an idea.” His hands rested on your hips again and pulled you into his body. “We have a few minutes to kill. What do you say we have a little bit of fun in here? It is our anniversary after all.” His lips found your neck and placed soft, gentle kisses on the skin. “You look so beautiful tonight, baby.” You were feeling sexually frustrated after being interrupted but he was right. It was your anniversary, so what the hell.
You leaned your neck to the side, inviting him in. “I love this dress, but it needs to come off.” He looked you in the eyes and smiled, reaching around for the zipper. He bent his knees and slowly pulled your dress to your ankles. His hands rested around your calves and move upwards while his lips trailed kisses on the soft skin of your thighs.
His finger pushed aside your panties and he slid a finger between your folds. “Jesus baby, you’re so wet.” He smiled and looked up at you. You moaned and rolled your eyes into the back of your head to avoid making eye contact with him. His tongue found its way between your legs, licking lightly before fucking your pussy with his tongue. You let out a moan while your body jerked toward his face uncontrollably. You needed him to finish you off so badly.
His fingernails ran lightly over the skin on your abdomen down to your thighs. “Oh, Max” you moaned.
Your hand quickly covered your mouth, remembering that even though he wasn’t out there possibly listening there were other people who shouldn’t hear you right now either.
He pulled his suit pants down and took himself in his hand, smiling at you. “I love you,” he said before entering you. He pressed against your body and thrusted up into you while looking in your eyes.
“I love you too, baby.” You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a moan.
Sometimes you forgot what it was like to have sex without the looming threat of someone finding out. Instead of worrying about someone catching you cheating, you were able to focus on the sensation and the intimacy but even now, something was missing.
Max left the bathroom before you, allowing you more time to clean up and look normal. You didn’t want to draw any more attention. “Hey guys, sorry I wasn’t feeling to well.” You said, grabbing your napkin off the table and taking your old seat. Max looked flushed for obvious reasons and couldn’t hide his smile.
You turned to your left and smiled at Pierre and Anna. “Did I miss anything?” Pierre’s gaze was glued to the stage ahead and he refused to look at you. His jaw was clenched and you could feel the steam coming out of his ears. You made eye contact with Anna and cocked your head in confusion. Why was he acting this way? Maybe Anna thinks it’s something she did wrong.
“Nothing important, for us at least,” she said, fixing single pieces of her hair.
Max’s hand gripped your inner thigh and he looked over to you and smiled. You returned the smile but immediately looked in Pierre’s direction to see him still refusing to look at you, his fist balled at his side.
Hotels in random cities at 2 am are lonely. The sound of Max’s snores kept you awake longer than expected. Your mind was wandering to places you wish it wouldn’t and you couldn’t get silence long enough to dream. The air conditioner in the room was set to the coolest temperature - hotel air always hitting different. Your mouth was dry, making you uncomfortable and adding to another thing making you unable to sleep.
You pulled the covers aside in frustration and grabbed a pair of shorts to put on under Max’s oversized Red Bull Racing shirt. You looked around for the room key and slid it off the table as soon as you spotted it.
As you stood in the elevator, you looked down and noticed your bare feet. It was 2 am so you were hoping there was no one important in the lobby. You just wanted a sip of cold water to help put you to sleep.
The night before races always made you nervous. You never knew what was going to happen so you had a constant pit in your stomach over your husband’s safety. That stress only increased when you began sleeping with another driver. Someone else’s safety to worry about.
You smiled at the older couple that greeted you when the elevator door opened. You crossed your arms and tip toed to the mini bar, grabbing the largest bottle of water they carried. After giving the gentleman your room number, you ran towards the closing elevator doors only to be met with familiar blue eyes. His hair was messy and his skin was glowing from sweat.
“Don’t mind me,” he said, stepping to one side. Even though he clearly just worked out you could still smell the strong scent of his cologne. “How have you been, y/n?”
“I’ve been okay. Your summer break looked fun,” you took a quick sip of your water and smiled at him.
“As did yours.” The silence was uncomfortable. You two were always laughing and talking nonstop. It was what you loved about him.
You focused on the pounding of your heart and your eyes wandered, trying to pass the uncomfortable time.
You suddenly lost your balance as the elevator shook, the lights flickered off, and the cables stopped. Turning your head towards Pierre, you began to get worried.
“Did this just break?” He asked, pressing the floor buttons and hoping the lights would come back on.
“Just our luck.” You laughed at yourselves. Why did the universe hate you? You plopped down onto the ground and twiddled your thumbs, realizing that you left your phone in the hotel room. “Do you have your phone?” You asked Pierre.
He lifted his wrist to show his apple watch. “I just went on a run. I never bring it with me on a run.” Of course he didn’t.
You groaned and banged your head on the wall behind you.
“Looks like you’re stuck with me.” He laughed, pleased with himself. He slid down to join you on the floor, the summer heat starting to creep into the elevator.
After not speaking for the entire summer break, this unconventional meeting was quite uncomfortable. You watched on Instagram as him and his wife vacationed in Bali, looking happy as ever. Granted, he did the same with you but he would never admit it. He had too much pride.
“Why didn’t you ever reach out?” You asked him, bluntly.
He looked at you making you feel dumb. “Why do you think I didn’t? I spent four weeks straight with Anna. Would you want me calling you up while you were on holiday with Max?”
“I don’t know,” you stumbled over your words. “I just would have liked to talk to you.”
“I told you before, I can’t keep doing this.” He said, exhausted at the back and forth you two had done.
“Yet, you do. You tease me and torture me and then say you need to be devoted to her. It’s not fair to me.” You let out a deep breath, exhausted over feeling this way.
“You want to talk about fair? You had sex with Max right after me. Less than five minutes after I was inside of you, he was too.”
You looked at him confused.
“I thought you were just going to talk to him for a few moments and then send him off.” Oh no. “I was waiting for you to open the window and let me back in.” He ran his hands over his face.
“Pierre, I’m so-”
“Don’t, y/n.”
He heard you and Max. You felt remorse for doing it, putting Pierre through that. But at the same time, you didn’t. Pierre is sleeping with his friend’s wife. He has no place to be jealous or mad. He comes second.
“How much did you hear?”
“I left when I heard him talk about how wet you were. He thought it was because of him but he had no idea that it was all for me.” Pierre scooted closer to you and put his hand on your thigh. “He has no idea how wet you get for me.” He moved in closer to your ear. “How good I make you feel.”
Your head spun at his words. When he made you cum, you forgot about everything in the entire world except for him.
“I’m really sorry, Pierre. That was shitty of me.” You rested your hand on his chest. “Let me make it up to you.” Your hand moved to his thigh and grazed over his thin mesh gym shorts.
You pulled his shorts off and took him in your mouth, slowly bobbing your head. He pulled your loose hair into his hand as a makeshift ponytail. He let soft groans escape his lips, being mindful of the setting. He would look down to see you taking him fully and have to look away or else he would finish quicker than he would like. Each time his eyes trailed down, his hips thrusted uncontrollably and a grunt would leave his lips.
“That’s it baby,” he said, in a low tone but almost whining. “God, your mouth feels so good. It was made to take my cock.” He continued to fill your mouth and throat, making you gag and tighten around him.
He pulled your head up by your hair and looked at you. “Come sit on my face.” He looked at your outfit, examining how he could take it off in the easiest way possible. He slipped off your comfortable sweat shorts, leaving you in just your Red Bull tee.
He laid down on the ground and hoisted your legs up and around his chest, getting the perfect view of your ass.
You stroked his cock and started to grind your hips against his chest. He took you in his hands immediately, not up for teasing, and pulled you onto his face. You rocked your hips over his face at a slow, light pace while still focusing on taking him in your mouth.
His tongue flicked your clit while his thumbs massaged your ass, pressing down hard and most definitely leaving bruises.
You moaned at the feeling of your legs beginning to tingle. He loved to 69 with you because every time you got an ounce of pleasure, your moans vibrated around his cock. You would tighten your throat and gag, sending him down a spiral. You both knew how to make each other feel incredible.
His facial hair tickled your inner thighs and left light scratches on the skin. As you ground your hips into his mouth, the sensation got rougher but the pleasure just increased.
He used his ab muscles to thrust into your throat, looking for his release. You tightened your grip around the base of his cock and suctioned even harder with your mouth as he let go.
Your legs went fully numb as the tension began to build in your stomach. You reached your peak, hearing Pierre’s tongue lap at your juices.
You rolled off of his body, looking for your shorts. The guilt was already beginning to set in and you couldn’t escape it now. You were stuck.
Pierre wiped his mouth with his hand and you noticed his whole face was wet. He was still smiling.
“I just hope Anna and Max aren’t standing there waiting for us when these doors decide to open.”
“Wouldn’t that be the icing on the cake?” You laughed, brushing your fingers through your now knotty hair.
Pierre pulled his shorts back on and looked at you. “Now be honest with me, who eats your pussy better? Me or him?”
“You can’t ask me that.”
“I can and I did.”
“Well, I’m not going to give you an answer.”
He laughed at you, not the reaction you were expecting. “Don’t worry, I already have the answer. I heard the sounds you make when he’s between your legs. It’s nothing compared to the sounds you just made for me.” He winked at you, knowing exactly where you stand with him.
next part
#f1 imagine#pierre gasly smut#pierre gasly fic#pierre gasly fanfic#pierre gasly fanfiction#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 blurb#smut prompts#f1 fanfic#pierre gasly x reader#pierre gasly blurb#pierre gasly smut ask#pierre gasly imagine#pg#mv
245 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just come on in, dont even knock
Y/n walks in on beej jerking off
Nsft
Musical beetlejuice x reader
Just a small thing I've been thinking about forever
...
"Its been awhile hasnt it~" the demon purred to himself, here the born dead bastard was laying on your bed, half naked, pants and boxers thrown aside, jacket shoved off, tie loosened, looking like a mess and practically glowing pink.
Beetlejuice has taken the opportunity of you slipping out to do boring living people things, to tend to his own personal needs.
In his hand was a freshly worn pair of black silk panties, the crotch of the garment was pressed oh so gently to the demon's nose, he growls with the intake of your scent.
"I bet you taste as good as you smell babes~"
His striped tongue gives an experimental lick, which he was pleasantly surprised by the result.
In the ghoul's other hand was his painfully hard cock, already leaking with precum, you drove the ghoul absolutely wild, hes been dying all day for an opportunity to 'fix' the little problem you stuck him with, how dare you turn him on so easily, laughing at his jokes, making him food, treating him with kindness, you were the hottest tease he ever encountered. God slash satan he wanted you, but would you believe him if he said the L word? No, he had to wait for you to say it, beetlejuice KNEW you liked him, he also knew you were a coward and shy, though it DID have a charm to it. But until the day you confess your undying love for him, beetlejuice decided he could satisfy his craving for you his own way.
The demon takes another inhale of your sent before groaning as he goes back to stroking himself, the idea of you pressing your clothed sex against his face while you stroke him was all he could think about. How your wet panties would be muffling his moans, at that thought beetlejuice instinctively shoved the garment in his mouth, as if to recreate the sensation, letting out a soft whine as drool now dribbles down his chin.
He could imagine all the sweet things youd be saying as you tended to his cock, you were always so sweet to him, the kindness in your voice always got him going down there, not that you knew.
He could hear you now
'Does that feel good?' 'You're so big' 'I cant wait to feel you inside of me'
His hips jump at that last thought, another muffled whine escapes his gagged mouth.
As much as beej wanted to take his time and enjoy himself to the fullest he didnt exactly know, how long you'll be out, it wasnt like you were going to work, you could be home anytime, but that was the thrill wasnt it?
His head now lulled back, eyes closed, as if to focus on his image of you, his hands begin to speed up their lazy pace.
The taste of you on his tongue, the memories of every nice thing you've ever said to him, the image of you now riding his cock, after you shoved your panties in his mouth, this little fantasy wasn't gonna last long, he was getting so close.
Beetlejuice muffled and groan around the gag, cursing and praising how good you felt and how good you are to him.
"Fuck y/n I'm gonna full you up so good-"
...
Coming home from the pharmacy, you drop your bags on the couch, you pause for a second, normally beetlejuice greets you the second you come home, you shrug and think nothing of it.
Until you hear a ruckus down the hall, you groan, he was messing around with your stuff again wasnt he, you huff and head to your room.
Without a second thought you swing the door open, all you could hear as you approached the room was unintelligible mumbles. But you scream at what you see, and so does the culprit.
"Beetlejuice I told you, stay out of my- WHAT THE FUCK!?" You shriek at seeing the demon in question jerking off on your bed
Though your scream made him blow his load, he immediately sits up and tries to cover himself, trying to muffle out some sort of excuse, pink fading from his hair, now being replaced with deep purples and blues
"I am so sorry, I didnt see any, I swear, i, um I should have knocked" you babbled as you quickly run off leaving the demon confused more then anything, you werent gonna scream at him? Banish him? Join in? He sat there for a moment trying to process what happened, taking the soaked panties out of his mouth, staring at the doorway where you once stood.
After a few minutes he has a small chuckle, that was you wasnt it? Shy little y/n, you see a creepy dead guy stroking the snake in your bed and you apologize, getting up from the bed, beetlejuice snaps his fingers redressing himself and cleaning up the mess he made.
He makes his way to you, to push his luck.
There you were sitting on the couch, face in your hands probably dying of embarrassment.
"Hey" he greets
Nothing
"You enjoy the show?" He jokes
Still nothing, the ghoul frowns, purple taking over his form, he gently sits down next to you.
"I promise to wash the sheets if you just say something" he pleads
"...please find a different place to do that" you mumble in your hands, clearly dying of embarrassment, but he'll take it
"No problem sugar, I'll wait for a personal invitation to unload in your bed" he laughs, thankful you didnt banish him, beetlejuice gives you a hug, feeling your body freeze at the contact, he didnt really blame you, as he squeezed you he thanked anyone and everyone who could hear his prayers.
Bonus
Once you over came your embarrassment, you made sure to watch beetlejuice put the sheets in the wash, and show him how to run the machine, and again with the dryer, as the dryer rumbled he chuckled "bet it would feel real good to sit on top if it huh babes?" Hed nudge you, you only have him an awkward smile.
You werent exactly mad at him, just a tad upset, it was a violation of your trust, though beetlejuice was practically on his hands and knees begging you to forgive him, saying your bed is the most comfortable place in the house ect, and how he'll make it up to you, anything you want, now he's stuck on chore duty.
But as you lay in bed that night, alone, beetlejuice took the couch as punishment, you couldnt help but think back to walking in on your friend, and seeing him in such a state, gagged, drooling, an absolute mess, and his package, you didnt expect beej to be so thick down there, you shiver at the thought, the idea of being stuffed by him made you legs weak, and seeing him finish? He was like a fucking firehose, you werent going to be sleep tonight with those thoughts bouncing around your skull.
223 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
strudel-the-noodle
Strudel the Noodle
magrinhosafado
Sexo tantrico 😈
grapejuiccewrites
I Write Shit
vedolosowa
Untitled
lavendergalactic
✰﹕lavender or lilay !!