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#that woman owns my gay ass
zafirosreverie · 1 year
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Okay but SALMA HAYEK as our lord lady and saviour AJAK?! Like~
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Excuse me while I go gaying
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That was all, thank you for your attention
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weaselishmcdiesel · 1 year
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RRAR
#guess whos unlucky ass got classes with the single person from this semester who i didnt like. again. for next semester#not a bad person. not a bad person no not at all. in fact they are very kind and friendly and inclusive.#i. do not like being included. in fact i like when people respect that i like being left alone. i love when people respect that#THIS ONE DOES NOT RESPECT THAT#remember that post i made? about how being a fujoshi is a bad thing? i made that post. because this person. used that term. at me.#i am. a gay PERON. yes i STILL LOOK VERY FEMALE YES I GET THAT NO I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY IM NOT A FUJOSHI OR EVEN A WOMAN#nearly every time this person interacts with me (none of them initiated by yours truly) something fucking uncomfortable happens.#and i know. i know in my heart of hearts. that theyre trying their best. but i get so tired of overly nice people i know thats my own issue#another thing i hate is fake compliments. i really hate them. i never give shallow compliments to peoples work like a LOOKS GOOD not even#i ALWAYS take the time to consume the work and think about it before i give MEANINGFUL compliments. always#many MANY TIMES this person has like passed by my computer or whatever and WITHIN SECONDS said ‟woah that looks really good!‟#wh. n. you#you looked at it for nary a minute. id rather you said nothing at all#again. i KNOW im being dramatic you should know that i know this. i know theyre being polite and im being a baby#but. another. fucking semester. with this person#i really fucking cant#i was looking forward to the next semester because there would be new people since i didnt vibe with my class from this semester#lo and FUCKING behold. the worst person from this semester is going to be my classmate AGAIN#fuck fuck fuck i am so whiny i know i know i know i am. but FUCK dude college is stressful enough.#(... it helps that their art... doesnt look good aksjdhf but you didnt hear me say that)#weasel speaks#asks!
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brindz · 2 years
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have not and am not going to watch boruto but what i've gathered so far is that they maul naruto's character give that homosexual sasuke a wife and bulldoze over everything the original series took seven hundred chapters to build. got it
#naruto#i really do not get it how do you tear the characters you spent the majority of your life writing to shreds for more cash in your wallet.#id rather end my shit kishimoto is the bane of my existence sometimes#how do you make it abundantly clear that sasuke never cared for sakura throughout the whole series then you not only make them married#but you give them a whole child which sasuke straight up neglects?#do you really think after everything he went through sasuke would be so far up his own ass to have a child with a woman he doesnt love#and proceed to neglect said child. like after everything that happened to him#im not even mentioning naruto. [about to mention naruto]#this man spent his whole life trying to become hokage to [at first] be acknowledged by the village that ostracized him for so long#and then to reform the shinobi system that he himself acknowledges AT AGE TWELVE is deeply fucked up#and throughout the whole series he promises to change things from how they have been for hundreds of years#yet even when kishimoto makes naruto never going back on his word a major part of his character in boruto hes just. there?#not doing anything? complacent and useless like every other kage before him? that is so deeply out of character for him#youd think the LITERAL AUTHOR OF THE MANGA WOULD KNOW BETTER#naruto isnt the selfish moron hashirama was or the racist idiot tobirama was or the corrupt politician hiruzen was#or the send-insane-teenager-into-anbu knucklehead minato was or the alcoholic or the guy who doesnt even wanna be here#[as much as i love me some hashirama he was really a selfish bastard but that is an essay i will write some other day]#the logical conclusion to naruto's character would be him finally achieving hokage status#and actually going through and changing the system that he and Every Fucking One He Meets In The Show has suffered at the hands of#fucking hell even his right hand man shadow hokage [read: gay best friend] sasuke himself#from madara to izuna to his clan to itachi that man had every right to blow that place the fuck up but he chose to stay with naruto instead#and oh god the way they could have worked together. they couldve lead the village and the five nations#to the mantra of No More Child Soldiers everyones been chanting since the fucking sage was born#but kishimoto decided no...lets make him a bootlicker absent dad! i am completely correct in this decision im sure#and decided that the moral of the story was that old traditions die hard and you shouldnt speak ill of the dead#and the system is bad but you gotta endure yknow :/#and sasuke#sasuke middle name revolution uchiha#sasuke middle name change at any cost no one should keep living like this and the poeple that made them should pay uchiha#JUST FUCKING AGREED?
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kaijuno · 3 months
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When I was in rehab I had a roommate who was this little old black lady and she was completely blind. And I saw that and was like “anybody gonna be this lady’s guide?” And didn’t wait for an answer. I actually got in trouble for “perpetuating lesbianism” BECAUSE I WOULD LEAD HER BY THE FUCKIN HAND. And that was “”too gay for the program”” so I had to make sure she held my elbow instead and like. What really pissed me off is that she was not given aid whatsoever for her disability. It was fucking me doing her paperwork. I was able to help her sign her own name but I had to fill out all of her intake stuff and ask all these invasive ass demographic questions like don’t you motherfuckers have a guy for that??? I’m here trying to fucking recover too, not interrogate this poor woman with questions about whether or not she’s ever been raped or abused or whatever
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misslobotomite · 3 months
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realizing a pattern ...
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A while back, Neil Newbon confirmed on one of his streams that Astarion is Pansexual.
So this is why it bothers me seeing fandom say things like "Astarion just feels like a gay man!" and "I just can't picture Astarion with a woman" because like... Astarion is still a queer man. It's been outright confirmed by his voice actor. And his queerness and his attraction to men isn't diminished by the fact that he can also be romanced by female characters. Repeat after me: Pansexuality is an lgbt identity in it's own right and not just gay person lite.™
And I think an important aspect to Astarion's sexuality is the fact that the writers made his relationship with both men and women part of his backstory. It's a stark contrast to Dragon Age 2 back in 2011 where Ander's past relationship with Karl was completely omitted from his dialogue if he was romance by a female Hawke. The unfortunate implications here being that bioware didn't think their female player base would still wanna romance Anders if he had past relationship with men. That to make Anders palatable to a straight-girl audience, all traces of his bisexuality had to be erased.
Astarion's Pansexuality doesn't change depending of the player's gender. The language he uses for his past lovers is gender neutral, he'll still mention relationships with men regardless of who you are playing as.
There is no "Playersexual" about it. Astarion is Pansexual. And that matters.
Edit: I was just looking over the notes of this post after having it muted for months and it really reaffirmed my decision to mute it. Some of you are posting bad takes like you're in a bad take contest. Hope you recover from the trauma of having to acknowledge bisexuals and pansexuals. - Love my bisexual ass ❤️
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ladyloveandjustice · 8 months
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I saw a post in the My Adventures with Superman tag claiming that Lois "finally" has a character. I really like the show and it's version of Lois too, but I want to make this clear: Lois Lane has been around for over 80 years and she's always been a distinct, dynamic character with a lot going for her, every bit as admirable as Superman. This isn't a new thing!
Like any character Lois has had some bad adaptations, but she's been a great character from the beginning, and I wanted to show off some panels from comics over the years so anyone new to Superman lore can see why she's a beloved character and the MAWS portrayal is building on that, not starting from scratch.
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Lois in the golden age comics (1939 through the 1940's) was shown to be a career-driven woman who didn't take shit from anyone. This was an era where a lot of women were entering the workforce because men were serving in WWII and there was excitement and change in the air, and Lois was meant to be a reflection of that. She fought against the sexism of her boss sticking her with the advice and gossip columns because she was a woman, and she was go-getting reporter out to get a real story. From the beginning she was fearless (sometimes reckless), driven, and had no patience for Clark Kent's (feigned) cowardice (and was always full of sick burns). She never let anyone push her around.
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And she's been pretty consistently like this her entire run as a character. Of course, there were some bad writers, and there was a time in the 50s when all female characters had to be marriage obsessed (Lois wasn't the only one hit with this, Wonder Woman was too), but she reverted back to her firebrand self in the 60's and 70's, and when the 80's came along, characters started getting more filled in backstories, including her- this was where we started seeing stuff about her home life, her childhood moving around as a military brat, and her troubled relationship with her father and sister. She had an interior life, inner conflict- and she still kicked ass and always got the last word in. As someone invested in journalism, she is THE coolest fictional journalist to me.
This was also when comics started focusing on Clark being who Superman WAS rather than a pure act, and we got to see their relationship really grow and Lois fall for Clark, not Superman. So here, have some panels of Lois being great and see the scope of her own personality.
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Lois also has lots fun little quirks and hobbies comics readers know about- she takes her coffee a certain way, she doesn't cook much because she's so on the go (so Clark is the one who cooks in the fam), she likes to sit on Clark's desk when they're talking (this happens in other Superman media too), she REALLY likes monster trucks and Clark REALLY doesn't but will support her anyway:
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Also, she's always seen through to who Clark really is:
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Anyway. Have more of my favorite Lois panels because I have a lot:
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also this one because I'm gay:
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boxboxlewis · 1 month
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Daniel finds out about Max’s divorce from a Google alert.
“FORMER F1 CHAMPION NEWLY SINGLE, SEEN HITTING THE BARS IN MONACO.” Journalistic excellence from the Daily Mail, as always. But when actual newspapers start reporting on it, Daniel decides to reach out. He texts Max a cat meme. Subtext: sorry about your failed relationship, also I know you like cats. Max texts back Are you trying to cheer me up, and then 😂. It’s unclear if he’s 😂 at the cat or the notion of Daniel attempting to comfort. While Daniel is trying to figure this out a third text comes in. Stop reading stupid shit by dumb assholes who don’t know anything.
Nah it’s all good, I can’t read, Daniel replies. He hesitates, and then adds I am like. Sorry about stuff with kelly or whatever though.
Max thumbs-up reacts the message, and doesn’t reply.
Daniel figures Max’ll probably just start dating another exquisitely beautiful, exquisitely groomed woman with a disconcerting resemblance to his own mother. They’re ten a penny in Monaco, where Max still for some reason lives. 
He’s not prepared for the next tranche of articles his Google Alert brings him. “MAX VERSTAPPEN SEEN LEAVING GAY BAR.” “VERSTAPPEN REFUSES TO ADDRESS RUMOURS.” “VETTEL COMES TO VERSTAPPEN’S DEFENCE: ‘HE HAS A RIGHT TO A PRIVATE LIFE.’” Like… people go to gay bars sometimes, even if they’re straight. But do straight people let Seb Vettel defend their honour in the media?
Daniel opens his text thread with Max and types Hey, are you. You know. 
He deletes it, obviously. He’s got a lot going on in his own life. Brand ambassadorships out the ass, his film production company, his vineyard. He sends Max another dumb meme and calls it good. Max is just doing Max stuff. It’s some belated F1 champion rumspringa, probably, because when he was an actual teenager he was psychotically focussed on racing. He’ll settle down soon enough.
Daniel really isn’t expecting him to announce live on Dutch television that he has a boyfriend. The clip is in Dutch, obviously, but someone has added English captions, and Daniel watches over and over again. RIP his YouTube algorithm. It’s some daytime talk show, the kind of thing Max hates, the kind of thing he’d never do unless someone was twisting his arm about it. The host asks all sickly sweet if there’s a special someone in Max’s life. Max says, “Well yes of course there is my boyfriend.” The “of course” in Dutch sounds like naturally. Naturally, naturally. “And my family I am very close to, as well.” The camera dwells with voyeuristic glee on the talkshow host’s face as she tries and fails to pick her expression up from the floor. “Your boyfriend?” she manages. Max nods, impatient. Daniel rewinds the clip. Your boyfriend? Your boyfriend? Your boyfriend?
Daniel decides to visit Monaco. Not because of Max. It’s summer and the swing of the season is funnelling him that way, that’s all, towards the parties and the glittering people dancing on yachts, getting high, bright and beautiful, living that good life. He doesn’t have an apartment there anymore, but Max does, because Max never left: still has his custom penthouse with its views of the harbour. Unless—it’s a weird thought—unless Kelly kept it in the divorce. But when he texts Max to invite himself to stay, Max doesn’t mention anything about a new address. 
Max also doesn’t sound, like, super enthused, but that’s just how he is. It’s his natural Dutchness, most likely. Fine you can come then. You are lucky I don’t have plans is probably just the Dutch way of saying “Yeah sounds great, looking forward to reconnecting.” You are very annoying is probably how people from the Netherlands express affection. Daniel texts back Love you too my brother 🤘🤘
He gets his hair touched up before he goes, a little bit of tattooing at the roots in the front. He does a spray tan, and gets his face dermaplaned (not in that order). You can’t go to Monaco and not look good, that's all.
It always feels kind of weird, flying into Nice in a non-F1 context, first class instead of private, but Daniel fits, still: gets asked for his autograph at the airport, and then on the concourse, and when he stops to put petrol in his rental car (a sweet little Porsche, nice). He tosses his keys to the valet at Max’s building and the valet goggles. That’s right, baby: twelve-time Grand Prix winner Daniel Ricciardo is in town. Daniel winks and the valet turns gratifyingly mauve.
Max, when Daniel pushes into his apartment, is less enthusiastic. “Daniel. I really do not know why you’ve come.”
Daniel ignores him in favour of crouching down, trying to pet Jimmy or Sassy. “Hey, little guy,” he croons. “Or girl. What’s up? Do you remember Uncle Danny? Am I in town to show your daddy a good time? Yeah I am! That’s right. That’s right.” Jimmy or Sassy scowls at him and swipes with one needle-tipped paw. All right, drama queen. Daniel stands back up and grins at Max. “I mean, mostly I wanted to meet your boyfriend,” he says, for some reason. What the fuck, Ricciardo. He keeps grinning, styles it out. “Gotta give him the old shovel speech, right?”
Max is doing the blank-eyed stare Daniel remembers so well from their racing days. It’s wildly disconcerting coming from this Max, who looks. Different, that’s all. He’s thick, still fit and well-muscled but heavy with it now, t-shirt stretched over the layer of hard fat covering his abdomen, face softer. He’s a bear of a man, he could—he could do lots of things, obviously. It’s fine. It’s just that part of Daniel still expects him to be the gawky teenager Daniel loomed over.
Max says, “What do you want to say to my boyfriend about shovels,” and for a bewildering moment Daniel has no idea what he’s talking about. 
“Oh, no, it’s like—it’s a saying, or whatever, when someone starts dating someone. I mean, usually dads say it, I guess, but like—the idea is if he mistreats you I’ll…” Daniel trails off as he realises he’s not actually sure what “shovel speech” means. “Uh, hit him with a shovel? Or I guess potentially, like, use it to bury his corpse. Whiiiich is a joke! Not actually going to bury anyone.” No, weird comment, Daniel’s not actually going to bury anyone t-shirt is raising a lot of questions et cetera. Hastily, he adds “As long as he behaves!” and then stands there mentally kicking himself while Jimmy/Sassy yowls soulfully near his ankles. He's never like this, he never loses control of a conversation like this. It's agonising.
Max stares at him for a long moment, and then cracks up. “Daniel, you are still so weird,” he says. It sounds kind of affectionate. 
“You know it, baby,” Daniel says. “So, where’s the boyf?
Max’s cheeks go a little red, it looks like. Maybe Daniel’s imagining it. “Ricardo is at the gym,” he says.
Daniel has to have misheard that. “Sorry, what’s this dude’s name?”
“Ricardo,” Max says grumpily. “My boyfriend.”
“Right, yeah, of course.” Once again Daniel decides, against his better judgement, to style it out. “Uh, is he Australian, by any chance? And devastatingly charismatic?”
Max sighs, as if Daniel is being really annoying. “He is from Melbourne. And yeah, he is okay I think. Maybe you won’t like him though, because you like always to be the funniest one. Come on, I will show you to your guest room.”
Daniel manages a casual-sounding, “Haha, you got me.” They’re walking through the apartment, now, Max leading the way. For a moment Daniel just watches the sunburned back of his neck.
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One of the most frustrating things about being aromantic is the way without fail, every single time I say I'm never going to get married, I'm always met with some variation of "you'll change your mind". Every. Single. Time. No matter who I'm talking to, no matter how pro-LGBTQ+ or how feminist they claim to be, the idea of me not getting married is simply not a possibility in their minds, and they have to insist on telling me that it's not.
And this might not seem like a big deal, and like... Yeah, I will admit there's a lot worse things that I could be experiencing. But the thing is that 1. after a lifetime of dealing with this, it wears you down and 2. this isn't even exclusively an aromantic issue.
I mean most of the time I don't even tell people I'm aro. Sometimes they back down if I do (after yknow, explaining what that even means), but not always. (I distinctly remember an incident where someone was getting on my case about it, and my mentor kindly stepped in and was like "You know my son is gay, and there's a lot of people who would insist that surely someday he'll fall in love with a woman, but we know that's not a nice thing to say. Why say something like that about aromantics?") Point is, though, they say this shit without knowing my orientation. Which means they'd say it to anyone.
Shouldn't everyone have the right to define their own lives and desires? There's plenty of reasons someone might not want to get married. Why is this seen as unacceptable? Why don't you trust people's knowledge of themselves? And it's not a maturity thing, either- I'm 25, and I've known aros well into their 30s who still get told this. Not that it's a nice thing to say to a younger person either.
Like, imagine if your coworkers were talking about their dogs, and they asked you about yours, and you said you don't have one. So you say you don't, and they ask what kind of dog you will have, and you say you're not going to get a dog, and they all go "Oh, I used to say the same thing when I was your age! You'll change your mind! One day you'll just find that special pup and blah blah blah" and no matter what variation you tell them of I don't want a dog, I'm just not a dog person, I'm allergic to dogs, my apartment doesn't allow dogs, I don't have the lifestyle to support a dog they just keep insisting you're simply being immature, and that someday things will change. Wouldn't that be kinda fucked up?
I just don't get why people are seen as liars or idiots when they say they don't want to get married. It's fine for people to get married at 18 but god forbid a grown ass adult say they're not going to get married, then clearly they don't know what they're saying, right?
Shouldn't people be viewed as complete people on their own? Shouldn't we trust others to know their own lives? Can't y'all mind your own fucking business
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hanwiore · 7 months
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pls pls pls write one where a waiter keeps flirting with y/n and she ignores his advances and eren gets so proud that he takes her home and rewards her for being a good girl AHHHH!!
ughhhhh 😩😩
Eren decided to take you to a nice dinner on a Saturday evening, your hair freshly done, nails freshly done, eyelashes freshly did just during the morning and the afternoon just for this day, just for this date. You loved looking good with your man because he also looked good as well, he got fair compliments as well as you and maybe you even more so, i mean who wouldn’t like a woman like you with a body like that?
Your black dress sat nicely, pushing your boobs together with your gold chain on, ysl heels clicking against the marble like floor while you waited for your waitress to come. “I like the restaurant layout, it’s nice.” You hum, lips pouting with your chin in hand. Then you look at your man, hair down, face clear and lips pink spreading into a gentle smile. He also worn his gold chain, wanted to be like you, but his has your name.
Something about the way your necklace has no trance of Eren’s name but his do made butterflies form in his stomach, like you had him on a leash. Your eyes looks down at his black button up shirt, ironed and clean. You bit your glossed lips but was interrupted by your waiter. “Hello, i’m Nathan and i will be you guys waiter for today. May i start with your drinks…ma’am?” Eren side eyes the waiter like you guys weren’t here together so he should have suggested the drinks together.
He brushed it off as thinking it was some type of mannerism. “Mhm yes, i’d like a blueberry pomegranate lemonade. Whatd’ you want baby?” You smile and eren takes notice you also notice the mans attention towards you. “I’d like water, for now.” He hums, and the waiter stays there for a second, looking at you and then moves away. You go back simply looking through the menu humming along to the piano music in the back.
It wasn’t long before the man came back, with only one drink. And you would of known, it was only yours. “Hm, wheres the water?” You asked as you sat up, the man blushes and fidget on his toes. “Oh silly me, I must’ve forgotten, distracted by a beauty.” you frown and roll your eyes, “yes my boyfriend really is a beauty.” You laugh slightly and the man stands still giving eren a glance as he sits there smiling at the man. “O-oh im not gay i was t-talking about-,” you scoff and told him to go the water.
“It’s so hard being a sexy woman eren, im tired already.” You fake yawn. Eren bites his lip and nods a little. You almost thought eren was upset, thinking if you said anything that may have made the waiter think you were head over hills, but that was before you got home, before you even stepped foot through the door.
You were slammed against the wall behind the front door, wet lips kissing against your coco butter smelling neck. “O-oh gosh.” You breath, barely even understanding what just happened. “My pretty baby, so loyal and so fucking sexy.” He groans in your neck. Grabbing on your thick thighs and spreading them, your heels click against the floor when you almost stumble over. “H-ha t-thank you,” you moan when his hand goes and cups around your fat lips through your red laced panties.
“Had me hard in the restaurant baby, just f-for fuckin breathing.” He rubs two fingers on your swollen clit that throbbed, “wanna please you so good right now, for being such a good girl yea? you so pretty baby, tell me what you want. I swear to you i’ll do it.”
Thats what has you face down and ass in the air on the edge of the bed while Eren stands, fucking your sloppy pussy while both of your hands spread your ass cheeks, seeing your wetness all over his dick, he moves his dick out slowly only to thrust back in harshly, shoving every inch up in you just to hear you gasp and grip on your own ass. One of his hands move up your back and grip the back of your neck and his thrust turns faster, now hitting you all up in your spot that has your toes curling.
“R-right there daddy.” Your moans turn quiet, now only your mouth open and drool on your pillow. “Right there baby? It feels good right there?” He says it so sweetly and nice as he kept his pace up, spitting on your tight hole that never been touched and he circles his thumb right there, your pussy clenches around him and his moans, moving his hand from your neck just to smack your ass. He shoves the tip of his thumb in your hole and you moan loudly,
Moving back and forth on his thick dick, creaming on it, “D-daddy! m’cumming, pl-please ugh fuck.” Your crying now, you move one of your hands from your ass cheek to your clit and start rubbing furious circles on it, you felt your stomach feeling funny before the wetness begin to seek out of it through your finger tips. You sniffled and cried. “Yea mama, just like that. Such a good girl for me hm? Deserve the world pretty. mhm deserve it all.”
“I’m almost finished with you baby. 2 more.”
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marksbear · 1 year
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Heyyyy I always love you fics🤭🤭 I would like to request a Lip Gallagher X Top Male Reader. This is just if requests are open and if you have the time🤭
-💋
.Hiii Love! Thank you for loving my fics! I love lip with every single bone in my body let me tell you. Since day one I have loved that man. I'm making sfw and nsfw headcanons!
LIP GALLAGHER X TOP MALE READER
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-You are most definitely his bisexual awaking.
-He'll quit smoking and drinking if you just say the word. I mean he'll go completely sober and clean if you'd just ask.
-Meet you in the school bathrooms during randoms times in the days just to kiss/ makeout or just spend time together in there.
-Likes to ramble about you to Ian. He'll talk about you to him for hours on end until he can't even say anything about you anymore.
-Doing reckless shit together most of the time yall hangout.
-Gives you an extra key to the house.
-Likes to sneak inside your house even though he could have just knocked.
-Him not giving a shit about homophobic remarks people make about the two of you.
-Tries to keep you steer clear from Frank. I mean Frank already ruined his whole life he doesn't want him to ruin his love life now.
-Wouldn't mind leaving this place and starting a new one while having a family with you. Its something that he frequently dreams about and hopes to have with you one day.
-He cherishes the days when you two just lay in bed together not even talking or doing anything.
-Making out in the living room inside the Gallagher house while crazy shit just plays in the back. The two of you are just in your own little world while everything outside of it is just hell.
-While Lip was in college you'd two would be in his dorm room studying with each other. And having breaks here and there making out.
-He secretly loves it when you walk him home especially when it's night.
-Loves pda.
-Secretly to be treated like a prince or arm candy. He likes it when you brag and compliment him in front of your friends.
-If you have a job he'll be there waiting for you to be done working. Like he'll just walk around wherever you work or just follow you around as you work like a lost puppy.
-Tries to keep you out of the family Gallagher drama.
NSFW Headcanons!
-After the two of you first fucked he was completely shocked and satisfied in the same time.
-Loves it when you man handle him. It's just something about being thrown around that he loves.
-He absolutely loves sucking your dick. Hes infatuated with it and tries to suck it anytime. And especially during risky times.
-He's into a lot of things. Like degrading, thrill of being caught, size difference, choking and rough. I mean can you blame him.
-Tries to act dominant outside of the relationship. Tries to act like he's the man/ top of the relationship, but in reality he's a slut who likes to be used and treated like trash.
-Rides your cock like there's no tomorrow. He loves holding and grabbing onto your chest as he does it.
-VERY VOCAL.
-When hes with a woman hes mild he can be quiet and loud sometimes, but with you hes LOUD. He's moaning out every cuss word in the book as he screams about how good you make him feel.
-Very much into cigarette after sex or just smoking a blunt during it.
-While he smokes he'll just blow smoke on your dick as he is about to give you head.
-Loves to call you anything you'd like. Just tell him and hours later in bed hes moaning out the name like his life depends on it.
-Likes to say you took his gay virginity.
-He likes to grind his ass down on your cock whenever he can. He'll just do it out of nowhere.
-Likes to jerk you off during the most random and worst times. You two could just be in the train sitting down in the seats he'll randomly just move his hand to your crotch palming you through your pants.
-He loves facials.
-Loves kissing randomly during sex. Something about that just turns him on so much.
-He loves dirty talk. And especially just randomly at times. You just leaning over to him and whispering the most filthy dirtiest things in his ear.
-Loves it when you mark him. It can be bite marks, hickeys hand prints you name it he loves them with all his soul. Likes bragging about it and showing people like its nothing.
THE END
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zafirosreverie · 1 year
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Okay but Ajak still has my heart and my gay ass 💙💛
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victimsofyaoipoll · 5 months
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Finals
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Propaganda Under Cut
Sakura Haruno
Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.
My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 
What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.
Misa Amane
she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.
she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!
Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime
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piratefishmama · 7 months
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Finders Givers | Part 3
To call them out of place would be an understatement.
Neither of the two in the lobby looked like they belonged there. Eddie in his ratty, torn at the knee jeans, rings, chains, band tee, and leather jacket, and Chrissy… well, Chrissy could probably look like she belonged if she’d dressed up a little, but she’d pulled her cosiest sweater over her head, a comfortable, cream coloured, crocheted sweater, a house warming gift from Mrs Jablonski next door when they’d moved in during a real cold snap a few winters back, and she’d wiggled her butt into a pair of Eddie’s old jeans.
The ones with the paint on them from when they’d painted Eddie’s room against Carl’s wishes.
Their reasoning was that Carl would never know. No matter how many times his greasy ass hinted at coming in for ‘coffee’, he was never invited in.
Her last pair of jeans were in the dirty laundry pile. She’d been meaning to force Eddie into helping her do laundry that day but alas, they were now not doing that. She didn’t think he knew he’d gotten himself out doing of laundry, but somehow it was still funny that he’d managed it again.
But it didn’t matter, there was nobody really there besides the secretary and she’d offered them coffee and pastries. Rather than looking at them strangely she’d offered hospitality and kindness, so now they had coffee and pastries, because Eddie was not about to turn down fancy free food from a kindly mother type.
It’d been twenty minutes already. Their pastries and coffees were done and gone.
Eddie was about to call it and leave, loud in his objection of being ignored by the high ups, when Chrissy sat up straighter, her eyes zeroing in on what would undoubtedly be a mini-boss in a video game.
Or maybe the ‘sudden Latin choir’ version of the main boss, and she walked through the double doors, both swinging open like Aragon shoving his way through the doors at Helms Deep and Chrissy was so very unprepared to witness her very own Aragon that early after student night shots.
Woman’s cheekbones alone could probably kill them both.
Eddie said nothing, he just gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder, he figured she’d appreciate that. She reached up and patted the hand he’d left there in support. She appreciated it.
“Mr and… Mrs—?”
“Ew no.”
And the hand atop his own was gone, pulled away, Chrissy’s awed expression replaced with one that read ‘I’m offended’ better than any angry white suburban mother of four with her minivan, concave cut, and bad dye job could possibly verbalise. “That was quick.”
“I’m gay what do you want from me?” Eddie looked up at the boss lady with what he hoped to be a disarming grin “Eddie Munson, this is Chrissy, Chrissy Cunningham, my single best friend, and platonic life partner.” He slipped that single in there so smoothly, gave himself a mental pat on the back for it, so smooth. He was gonna ignore Chrissy glaring at him. Boss lady just smiled, stormy eyes flicking between them as he introduced her. She seemed nice, a little mysterious. “We’re uhm, we’re here about thee uh—”
Eddie Immediately wanted to turn her into an NPC, or an actual boss. Maybe a powerful, kindly mage. An ancient druid or—
“The apartment block, right? Claudia gave us the heads up. My name is Robin Buckley I’m uh… well… I don’t really have an official title, but you can probably just call me Mr Harrington’s business partner I guess.” It was an apt title, ‘boss man’s best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’ didn’t seem nearly as professional. “Why don’t you both come with me to my office, and I can try and answer any questions you might have.” Professional yet welcoming.
Almost felt like she’d worked in customer service before.
They both rose to their feet and Robin turned back toward the door, nodding in greeting to the secretary as she walked by, both Chrissy and Eddie copying her as they hurried on through after her, through corridor after corridor, then one quick zip up the elevator and they were there, Robin once again opening both doors as she entered her office.
It was clearly a personal preference to be as dramatic as possible, it was working for her.
“Please, take a seat” They both quickly took the only two chairs on the ‘guest’ side of the desk, while Robin rounded it and took the larger chair behind it. The office was. Large. Large and full of knick-knacks. Framed pictures of actual people instead of vague ‘hotel-esque’ art, trophies, several book shelves filled with folders and thick books, a filing cabinet or two, a few plants, and huge floor to ceiling windows behind her that showed pretty much the entire city skyline. So this was how the other half lived. “Okay, I’m sure you have several questions, so… go ahead, I’ll answer what I can.”
Eddie shared a look with Chrissy, silently communicating that they probably should have come prepared with a list of things to ask but honestly neither believed they’d get this far.
They both kind of assumed they’d be told they’ve had all the information they’re getting and to just wait for more. Having a private meeting with… what was essentially the second in command of this entire company well…
“When are these renovations supposed to start and end?” Eddie asked first
“What can we expect from them?” Chrissy added
“And do we really just… not pay rent for the whole period? That’s okay?” Eddie finished. Basics, they had the basics memorized at least. The important questions.
“Ooh-ooh, will rent be the same after the renovations!? Or will this be like, a getting rid of the poor people situation?”
“Good question, Chriss”
“Thank you, I read this thing online the other day about the gentrification of poorer city spaces and—” Chrissy paused, her eyes shooting to Robin’s expectant face and then back to Eddie again “it’s not important.” She finished, she finished before she could start rambling and embarrass herself.
“Oh it’s super important to know about these things” Robin spoke up with a toothy smile, earning both Chrissy’s bashful smile and Eddie’s respect. She was subtly supportive of Chrissy’s rambling. Eddie liked her. “Not many people do, it’s a concept that only gets brought up when it’s happened and not when it’s happening right under your feet, and it’s rare people get the other side of the story, y’know the one from the people who’ve been displaced? That’s not what’s happening here though, I’ve not seen anything that’d suggest Mr Harrington’s intentions are to raise the existing costs.” She’d seen him blatantly say he hadn’t really thought about making them pay again.
“Do you think that could become his intention though?” Eddie pressed
“Nope. He has a personal interest in the building is all, the only thing I know for sure is that we’re looking to remove the negative presence from the building, it doesn’t have the best reputation, we’re aware of at least three drug dealers operating from within it.” Oh nooo, his weed, couldn’t all be sunshine and roses then. “We’re looking to remove them as soon as possible as they have blatantly broken the law and the terms of their rental agreements by engaging in illegal behaviour from within their apartments, so that will free up a few of those apartments for better tenants to move in.”
“Better tenants?”
“Law abiding ones.” Sort of. Argyle would have a cooler tenancy agreement.
“…What about ones that have history with the law?”
“We’re not here to be discriminatory, Mr Munson, this company… we believe in second chances.” Munson… Munson… where did she know that name from? She knew that name, and he did look… familiar. She shook her head, not important. “If you’ve had criminal charges in the past then you’ve had criminal charges in the past, that’s the past, it’s history, it doesn’t affect the now. But to put your mind at ease, you’re not on our list of offenders, or you’d have been served an eviction notice by now.”
Chrissy sat up straighter, as if a lightbulb went off in her head. “Everyone on the second floor is okay, right? We know Mick an Dottie in seven are a little sketchy but—”
“Second floor is okay, we’re not evicting anyone from the second floor, it’s mainly the fourth floor we’re concerned about.” She was so lucky she’d memorized half the shit she’d received that morning. Got just enough in the old brain to appear confident in what she was saying. “As for your other questions, we don’t… actually know when the renovations are due to begin, we’re in negotiations with a few contractors right now to get the work started, once we confirm that, we’ll have a more solid timeline to communicate with you, it’ll be full renovations, kitchens, bathrooms, bedrooms, electrics, plumbing, the whole shebang. But yeah, no, we don’t expect you to pay any rent for the whole period.”
“…I feel like that’s a trap.” Eddie finally spoke up, a small frown on his face that robin mirrored “shit like that just doesn’t happen, man. It doesn’t. Big companies like this, they don’t just forgive the little guys debts, they hold em over your head until you’re drowning, then they tie cement to your feet to hold you there in the deep end.”
At least she looked sympathetic, her expression softening, she wasn’t taking offense. It almost felt like she understood his hesitation. “I was a little stumped myself, it’s… not the best business decision. I’m gonna be honest with you, I advised against the rent forgiveness, it’s a lot of money to just throw away” And they were just throwing it away “—given we don’t know how long these renovations are going to take, but… it’s the one thing Steve stuck to. Wouldn’t budge on it. Said we were disrupting your lives so you should at least be able to treat yourselves during the chaos” Nancy’s words maybe, but Steve agreed with them “and unfortunately for our bank balance… the decision is ultimately Steve’s to make, his office is above mine.”
She could sass him all she liked, Steve was in charge. If he wanted to make decisions and mistakes based on a depressing wallet and a crush well, that was Steve’s choice, his was the name on the company logo.
“And the rent will stay the same at $595 after the renovations?”
“Ye—”
“Absolutely!” And the doors burst open, startling all three people within the office, revealing probably the most beautiful human being Eddie had ever seen in his life dressed in clothes that'd probably cost more than they'd ever paid in rent combined. Could have sworn he’d seen him before though. One does not just forget a face that pretty.
“Steve, I thought I told you to knock!”
“I own the building, I can do what I want. Hello! I’m—” frozen, he was frozen, eyes wide as they took in the two other occupants in the room. The two guests from the apartment block. It could have been anyone, anyone in that block. “… Steve Harrington.” But it was him. “It’s uhm… it’s nice to meet you” said directly to Eddie, and then as if he remembered Chrissy was there, quickly added “both. Nice to meet you both, hello, hi.” Robin’s palm met her forehead in an echoing splat. “What was I saying?”
Her head met the desk. It all becoming painfully clear. Eddie Munson, Edward Munson, Thee Edward Joseph Munson. Owner of the most depressing wallet in the history of wallets.
Part 5
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Round 3
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Propaganda
Peter Nureyev (The Penumbra Podcast: Juno Steel):
His character is the reason the term "Homme Fatale" became a thing
Homme fatale, living by the mantra of be gay, do crime. V secretive and just the right amount of flirty. Also I love him
He’s a slutty master thief who slept with a detective he went on 1 date(murder case) with and then fell ass over tea kettle in love. Literally can’t think of anything sexier
Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats):
An extremely agoraphobic mortician of a local funeral home who has every disease. Nervous wreck. Makes noises when stressed. An artist at heart (her embalming fluid is imbued with the fragrance of cinnamon).
she's the goth gf of your dreams. she's an undertaker, a romance novelist, a hot air balloon pilot, and she has interiority for days
It's antigone or unfollow me
please, everyone, antigone deserves this. she ghost-wrote a wildly successful erotic novel and then faked the death of the fake author. she didn’t leave her house for 17 years except to go see horny french films every thursday. she accidentally ended up in a love triangle with a hot domme lesbian circus ringmaster and her own employee. she broke up with a doctor after one date because he didn’t respect her career (and also his parrot hated her). she experienced years of carnal yearning for her professional rival only to finally realize she was actually okay on her own. she drinks embalming fluid. she thinks of funerals as an art form. she was diagnosed with depression as an infant. she wanted to be a clown when she grew up. her hero is a historical female scientist who has a statue with her tits out. she’s been attacked by owls. a bunch of children thought she was a forest witch. the rest of the village thought she was dead. she has committed multiple counts of breaking and entering. she designed artisanal chocolates that put you in a temporary coma. she can’t eat her own chocolates because she’s allergic to everything. she attracts shadows like a magnet. she’s a woman in STEM. if you have any love in your heart for goth weirdgirls you’ll do the right thing. ANTIGONE SWEEP
GUYS PLEASE
PLEASE VOTE FOR ANTIGONE!!!!!
CMON DON’T LET MY GIRL “CANNONICALLY WANTED BY EVERYONE ON THIS ISLAND” LOSE!!!
Considering committing voter fraud for Antigone. My girl 😔
Vote Antigone because do you understand how narratively satisfying it would be if she won??? Season one? She could barely go outside her mortuary. Season four? Modeling for a sexy calendar. THE CHARACTER GROWTH!!!!!!! Nothing more sexy than that.
COME ON Y'ALL VOTE ANTIGONE. VOTE FOR MY HORNY GOTH QUEEN!!!!!
VOTE ANTIGONE OR DIE
IF YALL DONT VOTE ANTIGONE UR BLOCKED. This isn’t even a joke.
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bonetrousled · 2 years
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the TAPE WOMAN INCIDENT is as follows. under a cut because this is a LONG ass ride
okay so to preface i need u to understand two things
1) i live in the middle of nowhere. i personally live in the middle of a CORNFIELD and it takes me fifteen minutes to drive to where i work and even that location is pretty non-notable. i work on the weekends and it gets pretty dead past 6 pm
2) i had a coworker we’ll call Sheldon who was one of THE worst people i’ve ever met. the most unbearable obtuse cishet white gay guy you can imagine. like “lesbians get too much rep” kind of guy. would follow you around WHILE you did your job stocking shit and talk your ear off to hear his own voice .  beyond that he was super weirdly violent. he’d make up stories about himself to sound cool but instead of being like “yeah my dad works at minecraft” he’d make up stories abt himself beating the shit out of people and like. wrenching their hair out.
if anyone else said these things to me i’d be scared shitless but i knew i could take him in a fight but it was still fucking WEIRD. talked abt wanting to hurt a higher-ups kids and he STILL wasn’t fired for that (eventually got fired later thank god) but he constantly did things that were borderline like. budding serial killer behavior ON TOP OF being unbearable to work with and constantly stealing my sales to make my numbers look bad
so. one of my coworkers had to leave early bc she was sick and i was given an ultimatum. i could either A) close alone for the very first time and be by myself for like two hours with no prior warning OR B) have sheldon come and close with me. of course i picked the former with NO hesitation. i figure yeah this is a scary and sudden happenstance but also if i had to be around him any longer id freak the fuck out. plus im like it’s like what. 5pm already? it’s not gonna be bad. i can deal w this.
so i’m sitting in the back alone and relaxing and whatever. i did everything i needed to do for the rest of the night earlier and since nobody was in the store i was just new boot goofing. the only thing of note that happens is that these middle school age boys come in and buy perms and leave. they will be back later
i go back to the back room and i’m enjoying myself when i hear the door ding so i go up to the front. in comes the omen: a woman in a tank top, coated in orange spray tan, with a bedazzled cross necklace. she’s the normal amount of annoying for any given Customer Interaction. HOWEVER
i go to cash her out. and i’m waiting for her to press a button on the card scanner but i don’t get the chance to be like “hey you need to do this for me to even start scanning your shit” because she begins telling me about an experience she just had
she goes “well. just so you know, i saw a woman in this parking lot, and she was sort of peering around into people’s cars, and she came up to me- and her face was ALL taped up.” so at this point im thinking like. gauze?? medical tape??
and she continues- “and she wanted a ride. so i said, okay, and i let her into my car. and she wanted a smoothie”
 (i have to interject here to say there is NOWHERE to get a smoothie near me. i have no idea what she’s talking about)
“so i took her to the smoothie place. she also had a BIG bag of carrots, and she wanted them to put the carrots in there. so they did, but then she decided she wanted them to remake the drink because they touched the carrots. anyway, i decided that was too much, so i had to drop her off. i let her go at starbucks, so, you know. if you see her, BE CAREFUL.”
okay so let’s unpack this. FIRSTLY i have had a woman made up to me. this is completely unbelievable from start to finish. i have no fucking idea what she’s talking about . SECONDLY: BE CAREFUL??
so i’m just like. sure this might as well happen . and i’m just like “ooh. um. haha yeah okay” and finally get to scanning her shit. and she goes to leave and stops at the door and her face falls as she STARES at me and whispers:
“i don’t know if you believe in this sort of thing, but i think god is watching. ALL the time. and i think he really, really wanted me to give her that smoothie. but i just COULDN’T do it.”
and she fucking leaves . so i’m just left there like 🧍 and i go sit back in the back. and im chilling out back there when i hear the door ding, so i go up and i’m greeted by the perm boys. they forgot some stuff they needed, so i’m like. ok cool no prob, heres what you need. while i’m helping them i hear the door ding again, but i’m helping the perm boys, so i figure i’ll finish with them and then see who came in and what they need.
we go to walk up to the register and someone’s facing away from us in the aisle. so i’m like “oh um excuse me! just gotta sneak past ya” and the Person turns around.
the tape woman. imagine if you will a lady with her ENTIRE HEAD wrapped in duct tape like the INVISIBLE FUCKING MAN. with a hole cut out in the duct tape for her mouth but NONE FOR HER EYES . there’s a single tape hole right next to her nose that she’s using to look out at me and in order to see me she has to lean all the way back to look at me with it . ADDITIONALLY she is carrying a fucking DUFFEL BAG that’s OPENED and filled with LOOSE BABY CARROTS
so while my heart takes a fastpass route straight to my stomach i am faced with a MYRIAD of realizations:
FIRSTLY the tape woman is fucking real. the omen i was given not even an hour earlier had come to pass and she was now in my store. SECONDLY i am the only person working. i can’t even look at anyone and be like HEY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON because my only witnesses are the goddamn PERM BOYS and THIRDLY i have to act like her head is NOT in fact covered in duct tape because like. i dont know what the hell is going on i think if i react in any way i will be in danger
so the tape woman scoots out of the way and i check the perm boys out. and they BOOK IT out of the store . so i am now left alone with the tape woman
and i’m like <:)  ..... do you. um. need any help with finding anything? and the tape lady turns around and she points at a bottle and goes. “is this shampoo?” and i’m like “ohhh um no that’s color sealer. this is shampoo here” and like. despite looking 100% like she was going to axe murder me she was one of the nicest people i had dealt with all day. she was just like “oh okay! thank you”.
and she asks me how much is so i tell her and she’s like oh alright. i only have five bucks on me right now so i’m gonna go into the parking lot and see if i can find any money. and i felt bad because like. i was going to offer to pay but the registers don’t let you cash yourself out if you’re ringing on them so i was just like “oh! alright!”
so she leaves and comes back a minute or two later and she’s very nicely just like “oh um don’t worry about it, i’m not gonna get anything today. have a nice night” and im like oh you too! and she leaves. and i watch through the front window as she goes to leave and this guy gives her like 20 bucks . so i’m thinking “oh she’s gonna come back and buy it right”
she comes back into the door. and stops in the doorway and she says to me
“um, don’t worry about it, actually. i’m not gonna get that right now-“
and she lowers her voice before going:
“because i have to pray. and if the prayer turns out RIGHT. i will come back. and i will buy it.”
and she LEAVES without a second word. did not even see her in the PARKING LOT for the rest of the NIGHT . i have asked MULTIPLE PEOPLE who work in the same plaza if they encountered this lady and NOBODY HAS. i asked the people at STARBUCKS and they say they haven’t ever seen her. my ONLY witnesses are these middle schoolers trying to get perms. i have been thinking about this at least once a day since the event has happened. i haven’t even seen the first lady who warned me about her since. i think i was contacted by spirits or something
tldr two separate women channel god in a beauty supply store in the middle of country bumpkin nowhere at 7:30 pm while i closed alone
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