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#that time we made the british empire look like the good guys
takemealivelh · 11 months
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you wanna wait till tonight? || l.h. (part two)
it’s 2018. after last night, luke and daisy deal with the consequences of their reckless and restless fucking. it all goes to shit when they hook up again.
tw: cheating. mild sexual content.  
i know i promised this a while ago. i hope the wait was worth it.
part one
2.6k FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED
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“can i have your number?”
“no.”
she leaves the hotel room with her shoes in her hands. legs too shaky to wear heels right now. fuck. that was hot. that was actually so fucking hot she can’t believe it happened only two minutes ago. she’s still trying to regulate her breathing. how can you treasure a moment in your memory in a way that you can experience the same body response every time over and over again? she waits for the elevator. alone. it’s 3:23 am and she needs to go to sleep. hadn’t intended to stay out so late, just a quick fuck to feel better about herself. but luke had been so relentless. for so long. and now she can’t wait to get a cab and go pass out on her bed.
luke lays on top of the white comforter, naked. he looks out the window and sees the empire state. what a gorgeous view. he can’t believe he didn’t get her number. alright, i’ll give you mine then. and now she has the upper hand. his stay in nyc doesn’t end for another three days. he hopes she calls. or texts. maybe he can ask around. someone from the crew must’ve brought her to the party. but who?
they both sleep, thinking about the other. the body heat and the moans in the room. it would’ve been cool if he’d gone down on her. he seems like he’d know what to do.  why didn’t she give him her number? he really wants to see her again before flying back to la.
sun is shining through the window. it’s 8 am and his phone is going off. fuck quickly, luke picks up. “what?” he’s rather annoyed. “hey man,” michael sounds tired too. “car’s here in twenty. we’re having breakfast downstairs.” “right, right. give me five.”
what the fuck do i do with this number? she doesn’t want to just throw it away. but she can’t call him, can she? he’s a rockstar. it’s probably the number to a chinese place. and she can’t humiliate herself like that. not again. his name was sam. he was british and was playing gigs, trying to make it in america. she never really found out if he’d made it or not. she kinda just moved on really quickly.  she only goes to bed with rockstars she’s not that familiar with. maybe she’s heard them on a spotify playlist. 5 seconds of summer was an intriguing name but she didn’t really explore much further into their discography other than that song youngblood and that killer queen cover from the freddie mercury biopic. they were good, and their set was tight. she saw the show from the last row of the left gallery. hypnotized by how whiny the frontman’s seemingly perfect voice sounded, she decided she was gonna fuck that rock god that night. and she did. it’s called manifesting. 
after a quick shower, luke puts on pants when his phone rings again. he figures it’s another one of his bandmates, wondering where he is. it hasn’t even been that long, he rolls his eyes in silence. the ring insists and he checks the screen name. “hi love,” his voice is a little raspy and he clears his throat. “show was great. wish you were here,” he smiles into the sentence as he runs his fingers through his damp curls.
“where did you disappear to last night?”  “uh... was just tired, really.” luke shrugs off the question and reaches for a tall glass of orange juice. no one says anything and he looks at the three of them as he drinks. they avoid eye contact with him, he notices. “you’re awfully quiet today.” it’s uncharacteristic of them to not be chaotic at every meal. luke sets the glass down, “what’s up?” “nothing man, we just thought this was, like, a guys trip,” michael starts complaining and shrugging his shoulders to show his disappointment. calum sets his fork down and pats his friend’s back, trying to comfort him as he looks at his other friend. the one who bailed on them last night. “now you’ve made mikey upset.” ”don’t call me that.” luke frowns, kind of not understanding what’s going on. they know he still fools around on tour, don’t they? this is the second encounter of the american leg. did they seriously not know? “you need to get your shit together, man.” ashton cleans his glasses on his shirt and puts them back on. he hates that luke does this. his girlfriend doesn’t deserve it but it’s not his place to tell her anything. so, he keeps his mouth shut around her. but it’s gonna be real fucking hard once they go back to la because luke has been a stupid motherfucker since the european leg of tour. ashton sighs. there’s a family having pancakes on the table next to them. the little boy makes a mess with the syrup. his mother wipes his face clean with a napkin while his father talks business on the phone. “we need to get going,” michael finally breaks the silence that’s been reigning for the past three minutes. “interview’s in an hour.”
12.14 pm breakfast has been on his head ever since. he wasn’t really concentrated in the questions the radio host was asking them. luke could only ask himself two things. why do they care? why hasn’t she texted? it hits him like a flash. the small talk they had in the cab on the way to the hotel. “you liked the show?” she nodded. “and i liked the way you move.” a small smirk on her lips, making him blush a little. “thank you guys. we’re off the air.” luke followed his bandmates out of the studio and into the dressing room. “you okay?” ashton pats his back. “yeah.” he checks his phone as michael gets a bottle of water from the mini fridge and the other two sit on the couch. why hasn’t she texted? it’s not like they’d had a meaningful connection, not really. it had been mind-blowing sex, of course. but that’s not enough to know someone, is it? did he learn anything about her as she sucked him off? he knows she’s daring, she’s spontaneous and confident. and he likes that. he also knows real life will eventually happen in a few days. but he just wants to stay in the fantasy a little longer. he’s been with his girlfriend for a year and things are hard between them. at least with daisy, this new york girl, things seemed to be easy. until she left. and now he’s wondering if he misinterpreted the whole thing. “hey, dude,” michael greets the crew guy that walks in with the new itinerary. he hands a copy to each band member. “did you have fun last night?” the guy shrugs his shoulders. “remember i told you i’d gotten a date outside the venue? well, she ditched me. probably left with someone else.” luke’s eyes burn the screen to avoid the man’s stare. did he steal his date? “shit,” calum pats the cigarette pack in his pocket. “was she the one who sang love is a battlefield at the bar afterwards?” “nah.” luke’s heart pounds in his ear. “she was wearing this over-the-top makeup. like, orange eyeshadow and shit.” he remembered that hue well. it was a glossy finish that glistened under the moonlight. he appreciated when she closed her eyes, because he could admire her freedom of expression. his stomach sinks. he feels so bad.
daisy gets back to work from lunch. she’s a broadcast technician in z100 new york radio. when she walks past the dressing rooms on her way to the studio, she hears a familiar voice. the door is half open and the sign reads 5 seconds of summer. “fuck,” she curses under her breath, picking up the pace and refusing to look inside.  “hey layla,” she sets her bag on the chair next to the broadcast console. “is teddy done editing?” the other woman nods her head as she chews on gum. “he said he’d drop the script by on his way to lunch.” 12.45 pm “alright,” she sighs and runs a hand through her long, wavy, brown hair. sitting down in front of the mixer, she opens up the radio software and starts setting it up for the next transmission in fifteen minutes. “you should’ve come here earlier, though.” “why’s that?” “this band, 5sos they call it... like, those guys are fit as fuck. like damn.” daisy tries to fake a laugh, “did they leave already?” as soon as the words leave her mouth, teddy -a man in his fifties, and the producer of the show- walks in with a binder and hands it over to the girls “so, the frank ocean interview fell through. and rick called in sick, so we’re gonna just play singles for the rest of the day. you girls can go home if you want. i can take it from here.” bubblegum pops in layla’s mouth. “don’t have to tell me twice.” “oh, before i forget. daisy,” teddy points back to the dressing rooms. “luke is asking for you.” the woman frowns in confusion. layla widens her eyes as she looks at her co-worker. the man doesn’t seem to notice the awkwardness in her body, and so he leaves. “who’s luke?” “shut up.”
the door is half open and he sees her walk by. how couldn’t he when her boots made such a squeaky noise? he remembers that spongebob squarepants episode and he smiles, and then hates himself for it. she looks like a diamond, jeans and a green tank top. he wonders what her eye makeup looks like. he sits on the couch with ashton and calum. they don’t talk to him. haven’t uttered a work since teddy came by and luke asked about her.  a knock on the door. the blond springs up in half a second. he clears his throat as michael rolls his eyes and brings his stare back to his phone.  “uh, hi,” daisy’s voice is cautious when she peeks her head inside, immediately focusing on luke’s tired smile. his leather jacket makes his shoulders look ridiculously broad and she tries her best to keep the composure. if no one else was in the room, she probably would’ve jumped him. burying her hands on his perfect curls. their lips biting each other’s. the rest of the band eye her. she won’t come in and ashton immediately picks up the dynamic. she’s the girl. she’s the girl luke cheated on his girlfriend with. at least one of them. he’d interfere, but his friend looks like there are no thoughts in his brain. just the face of the girl in front of them.  “the producer said you were asking for me?” “um, yeah.” he nods imperceptibly, feeling his hands go cold all of the sudden. the tension in the room is too much. the rest of the band hates him, he just wants that woman in a bed. wants that pretty blue on her eyelids to glisten. “can we talk outside? i wanted to ask you something about the interview.”  worst excuse ever. “oh, okay.” her head disappears and luke walks out of the room. he stands close to her, close enough to smell her shampoo. she shoves her hands in her pockets and looks around.  “you didn’t text.” daisy shrugs, “i didn’t think you’d show up at my work.” “i didn’t know either.” they fall silent for a few seconds before layla shows up with her purse in her hand. “you ready?” peeling her eyes off luke’s, daisy nods her head.  “we gotta go,” she tells the man. “meeting,” she lies. “um... alright. can you... i mean, if you want we could... i mean, like...” layla looks up at her taller friend. she can tell the man wants her to himself. “actually, molly cancelled the meeting,” she chimes in, putting a hand on daisy’s shoulder. “this one’s free.” daisy calls layla a motherfucker in her head.  “we have soundcheck for tonight’s show actually.” luke looks for daisy’s eyes. “i was wondering if you wanted to check it out.”
she’s not sure how she ends up in a car with him, but it doesn’t matter anyway. his hand is on her thigh, dangerously close to where she’s throbbing. she breaks a small sweat and looks out the window. luke wonders if he’s pushing it too far, and he’s about to remove his hand when daisy closes her eyes, rests her head on the back of the carseat and parts her legs a bit wider so luke can grab her flesh. a smirk on his lips.  “calm down,” she chuckles, feeling his eyes burning her body. the man has electricity running through his veins. she’s a shot of adrenaline. a boost of serotonin and dopamine. every good drug he’s ever done, he’s as intoxicated with her, completely lucid. “i want to fuck you tonight,” he murmurs close to her ear. the driver doesn’t seem to listen to whatever the two are doing. daisy chuckles softly. that small laugh that makes her lips curve into a devastating smile. “you wanna wait till tonight?” she whispers back, looking at him through thick eyelashes and so much lustful energy. his knees are weak.
the band walks up onstage. ashton tries out the kick, calum plugs in his bass, michael adjusts his pedals and luke grabs the mic. he looks up at the balcony in front, daisy waves at him. the venue is a thousand-seats club in manhattan, and when she found out they were going to play at the irving plaza, she got even more excited. she’s always wanted to come here for a show. the place really is beautiful. “one, two... hello we’re 5 seconds of summer,” luke speaks into the microphone and the whole place resonates with his voice. “should we start with want you back?” he asks his bandmates. none of them says a word, but ashton nods and counts a one two three four with his drumsticks. can't help but wondering if this is the last time that I'll see your face? luke’s eyes focus on daisy and he sings those first two lines as if they were directed at her. 
it’s all kissing and grinding against the wall of the bathroom. they’d locked it.  there are no words in the air, just the faint sound of their heavy breathing. lips on lips on skin on lips. he doesn’t wanna talk, just needs to eat her whole. it’s the only thing that keeps his racing mind shut down. the whole thing with the band, it guilt-tripped him. the judgy looks and the ambiguous sarcasms they’d given him, it all fades to nothing when he is as intoxicated by her lips and her skin and the way she drags him closer by his shirt.  daisy can’t help it, she knows he’s leaving and this might be a bad idea, because she can’t get attached to someone so good leaving so soon. but his hot breath against her neck before he licks the spot that makes her skin bristle, they have her stupid. just the thought of how big he is against her leg. she reaches down to palm it and luke moans a bit louder in her ear. “you like this?” she whispers, feeling his thigh tightening against her core. she’s wet. and the natural lubricant makes it easier to roll her pelvis against his pants.  it’s hot. it’s wrong. it’s a forbidden passion. none of them want to stop. because if they do, they’ll know they’re fucking up. and why feel shitty when you can feel this good?
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agentnico · 13 days
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The Gentlemen - season 1 (2024) review
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Alright, alright, alright….. wait, McConaughey is not in this one? Oh, well that’s not alright, alright, alright…
Plot: When aristocratic Eddie inherits the family estate, he discovers that it's home to an enormous weed empire, and its proprietors aren't going anywhere.
Guy Ritchie is honestly great. Since way back when he made Lock, Stock and Snatch, he’s consistently churned out top quality entertainment, except maybe the Aladdin remake. I mean I totally get he probably got a superb pay check out of it, but honestly what in the heavens did Guy Ritchie have to do with blue genies I will never know. Regardless, where the man really excels at is when it comes to the British gangster genre. The guy can make swearing sound so poetic and melodic - it’s honestly mad how something so otherwise rude can come off utterly beautiful and delightful like a song. Especially in his 2019 film The Gentlemen, the writing in that movie was so good!! Naturally Netflix caught onto this too as we now how a spin-off series.
Going into the show I was looking forward to it but also cautious, as I was aware this new show was missing the star power of the original film. I mean can you blame me? The movie had the likes of Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell and Hugh Grant to name a few. That’s a solid load of A-listers huddled together. As for the show, the names like Theo James or Kaya Scodelario didn’t instil heavy excitement, especially with James as honestly, I always thought he was a bit of a prick. Granted this may be due to when he played the dickhead in The Inbetweeners movie, and gosh do I feel old with that reference, but he just has that face of a guy that’s so full up his own arse. Again, I’ve never met the chap, he’s probably a lovely human being, but I’ve made this prejudgment in my head and as such when I found out he was the lead of this series I naturally rolled my eyes. That being said I give Netflix props as they hired the original film director Guy Ritchie to create this spin-off and even direct some of the episodes and do a lot of the writing, so of course I was going to check this show out.
Never doubt the Guy should be a new cinematic rule. I’m proud to report that the new The Gentlemen series is a fantastic watch. It’s not the most original show, yet it plays out more-so like a Guy Ritchie’s greatest hits, as it’s got his visual flare and style, with the super cool and smooth fashion choices - honestly Scodelario has a wardrobe change every other scene and each time it felt like she was walking out of a Tom Ford fashion exhibit, and then also all the men wearing their gentlemanly suits dripping with swagger and smoking their cigars and drinking their whiskeys - the whole thing is simply infused with that signature upper-class British gangster feel. Ritchie’s signature syllable-heavy dialogue that just rolls of the tongue is also more than ever present here, and whoever decided to cast Giancarlo Esposito in this show deserves a pay rise, as Esposito’s soft-spoken melodic tone proclaiming the colourful lines of Ritchie’s rich exposition was music to the ears.
The cast here too are super game. Theo James was actually solid as the lead young duke, as he had that manly prowess and was very believable as someone who gets shit done. Kaya Scodelario I thought at first was trying too hard to mimic Michelle Dockery from the original movie, but eventually she made the role her own, and she gave enough mystery to her performance to make us feel uncertain of her true motivations. Daniel Ings as the duke loser-cocaine-addicted-brother Freddy was a lot of fun, however I would say his character became a bit overbearing and annoying in the end, as he constantly made so many mistakes throughout that I honestly kind of wanted him to get killed. It’s as if whenever the show needed an excuse for something bad to happen, they’d just get Freddy to fuck up again. Apologies for my language, I don’t usually swear in my reviews, but also this is a Guy Ritchie project we’re talking about, and he uses the F word every other sentence. So fuck it. In regards to other notable cast members, Pearce Quigley as Gospel John, a leader of a religious gang was oddly creepy yet entertaining, especially when he’d randomly scream certain lines for absolutely no reason. Pure psycho. Peter Serafinowicz and Guz Khan have amusing turns. Lastly we have two British gangster alumni Vinnie Jones and Ray Winstone. These two of course were on a different level to everyone else. Of course Vinnie Jones can be quite cheesy when it comes to acting. One can fondly remember his delivery of the line “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”. But when it comes to Guy Ritchie, Jones and him have always been a great pairing. Here as the duke estates’ caretaker, Vinnie is super reserved yet again super cool. I think cool is a word that can be used and abused when it comes to this show. It’s all so cool! Then Ray Winstone as the leader of the crime family… I mean it’s Ray Winstone as the leader of the crime family! He got that Godfather-level gravitas, only more Cockney, and it was great watching him do his thing.
When it comes to the story, this show is standalone to the original film. You can definitely see the inspiration though with certain narrative beats and story choices being very reflective/similar to what occurred in the film, and then the hidden weed farm under the estate looked like exactly the same set as from the film. But overall this is completely its own thing, and each episode brings more fun crime shenanigans for the characters to deal and navigate through, and it was consistently entertaining. My only complaint is that I’d say the finale a tad anti-climactic. I think with all the roughness and toughness that the characters go through, the ending tied everything up a bit too conveniently and neatly. I get I’m not to expect the most realistic thing as this is Guy Ritchie’s world, but I did want things to get a bit more messy, especially due to the build up. That being said this is a major win for Netflix, and I’m expecting a season 2 to be green-lit soon, as this is a winning package.
Overall score: 7/10
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spider-xan · 8 months
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Actually, between re-watching the LXG (2003) film and how some of the critical discussion of the Oppenheimer film has started veering into 'making up a guy who doesn't exist' territory instead of critiquing what was actually in the film, I'm thinking again about the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comics where like, look, I have plenty of issues and criticisms with the choices Moore and O'Neill made and have written before about how the attempt at satire failed at times by replicating the bigotry it set out to critique instead of critiquing it, but it's often frustrating trying to engage in discussion and analysis about it bc like the Oppenheimer situation, rather than criticizing the many existing problems, people end up railing against things that never happened or claim it supports X when it doesn't?
To give an example, for all of its faults, the Oppenheimer film is very obviously anti-nuclear weapons and paints the man himself as a moral coward with zero convictions, yet people will claim it's a USA! USA! jingoistic film that frames atomic bombs as super cool awesome weapons and Oppenheimer as a badass hero; it reminds me of when the League comics are explicitly anti-British Empire - the opening line that frames the first volume is about how the British Empire cannot differentiate between its heroes and monsters, and we see that in who gets recruited and what the League does in the name of queen and empire - yet it's not uncommon to see people claim that Moore and the comics are pro-imperialism bc the heroes ('heroes', again, see the earlier quote about heroes and monsters) work for them and do bad things; again, I have written many times before about the failure of nailing this satire and critique bc of the racism, sexism, etc. that just plays it straight, but there are also times where it does get it right - and come to think of it, similar to Oppenheimer, there is blatant critique of weapons of mass destruction being deployed on civilians for an alleged 'greater good' as a great evil in Volume 2, yet that gets interpreted as the narrative being pro-mass murder bc the protagonist was involved and anything the protagonists do must be something the writer agrees with.
Anyway, this is just rambling late-night thoughts and not a formal essay, though maybe I'll have more organized thoughts later.
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beardedmrbean · 9 days
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Shit got detour, but for gun magic
Now I absolutely 100% understand why Rowling avoided such a idea given it’s was already a bitch to do magical stuff for kids thanks to parent groups AND all the discourse around that time
But if I was to make gun magic, I would say that early development of it did exist in the ancient past like with China. And the European wizard improved it but in the end it was considered a niche as I check wands been in use in the potter since the BC era. So magical guns were a niche in the old world that got heavily developed in the new world for multiple reasons.
🤔
What tribes folklore giants we didn’t wipeout completely in the Wild West we can use? Like here a joke
The native wizard: Pale one, perhaps we can use our magic to create certain guns?
The cowboy wizard: Why?
The giant monster in the distance: GROOOOORA!
Cowboy:…I got a idea
Oh oh oh! UFO sightings in Nevada and areas actually just wizard flying around?
Of course American wizards use wands since they were acknowledged since book 4 and we saw them in fantastic beasts though I heard Ilvermorny kids can’t take their wands homes and have to leave it at school until the age of 17
Oh yeah that totally going to work with a lot of Americans wizards
(They probably have more bootleg magical items than all the prohibiton bootleg liquor and poor black person bootleg dvd collections…not that I may or may not have my own or know a guy)
Also one thing, Rowling (and people who try to copy her) often forget that Harry Potter Wizarding setting worked because she combined and modernize it. And used Britain existing folklore. She also had the Roman republic/empire to fall back to as a the Roman’s established a lot of trades routes in Western Europe thus many wizards from different parts of it could interacted and merge.
Maybe because she is British, Rowling can’t or don’t understand how diverse everything is. Like I can see the magical Congress she made try to keep the American Wizard society in check. But so vast
I mean look at the Midwest, Midwest wizards probably got a lot of good farming magic. But we also probably very innovative
Hmm as a Chicagoan…should I say the Midwestern wizards made a magical Tommy gun? Much pay homage to the infamous Al Capone
Also not to mention the LOCAL native tribes that still exist. I mean western tribes would definitely have their own desert magic vs the forest eastern ones.
Of course she mention the European wizards…but we should also have a huge change when the Chinese and other Asians wizards immigrated to America. Maybe martial art magic is an extra curriculum and such.
Am I making sense, yeah the American wizards guns is funny because we would make some of the most powerful magic bullets that would be consider heresy
But a joke if Voldemort won and attacked America
Voldemort: You disgusted mutts, the blood of the must powerful wizards runs in your veins yet also the blood of steer rats
The current head of the magical Congress(been around since Teddy and look like an America navy officer around that time): Ah voldy mort! Welcome to America!
V: You dare talk to me like a commoner!
American Wizard: I would say you can go to Asia as their Wizard got skin magic that can make you look handsome
V: Enough, my dear eaters would rule this filthy country! You thought it was foolish enough to leave all your items in Massachusetts?!
AW: (Holy shit they took the bait), hmm Mr snake Sidious
V: Who?
AW: Nevermind, but heard about an infamous writer called HP lovecraft?
V: That foolish man? Yes
AW: Well his stories were real since those asses couldn’t shut up around the time and we ask him who was probe by them often to infamous the No-Maj about such creature
V: those stories are true!
AW: Kinda, but check this bowl
Voldemort then saw visions of his death eaters ripping each other faces off, screaming around like mad, and being eaten by horrific monsters
V: W-Why I was never told this?!
AW: Because your a racist inbreed jackaas that could barely tolerate fellow English man much less America
V: I will have my revenge!
AW: Man those southern wizards are good with illusions *snap his fingers*
The room dissolved and Voldemort say they were in a purple cosmos realm. He then heard giant creepy laughing
AW: All your’s Kulu
Voldemort turn around and saw it was the infamous old one Cthulhu. Despite having the master wand and use all three forgivable curses. The old one laugh and grabbed the dark lord
V: NOOOOOO I CAN NOT DIED I CAN NOT-proceed to be eaten
AW: Ugh good, now take you little nap kulu *pic up an old telephone* Yeah operation “help mother Britain” is a go. Well at least he did go to Mexico, those wizards would have gut him harder than a fish
Now I absolutely 100% understand why Rowling avoided such a idea given it’s was already a bitch to do magical stuff for kids thanks to parent groups AND all the discourse around that time
Post on here was just something about a exchange student from America at the battle of Hogwarts pulling out a handgun, I think that was what it was, faster than magic since you don't need to say words and do something with your wand.
I cast glock, pulls out a gun boom dead.
UFO's are golden snitches that made their way too far away from the quidditch pitch.
The current head of the magical Congress(been around since Teddy and look like an America navy officer around that time): Ah voldy mort! Welcome to America!
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Admiral of the Navy George Dewy work as a model for you, he was in charge of the fleet in the Spanish American war so perfect for TR.
The conversation there was brilliant BTW, funny stuff.
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ainomica · 4 months
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Ah thank you for your explanation, you know I thought uk just treat India like how they treat the US. A unruly group of colonists that fought against them and act obnoxious once a year about their independence.
Nope, UK seem to be the abusive ex that constantly stalk India despite violating all restraining orders.
What Ghandi did-
Oh
Oooooh
And they said the USA being lying about our creation myth. Who started the lionization of Ghandi and made him the representative of Indians? I want to learn more about India. Like it’s ancient times? Can I say Ancient India, or its there another term for the era. Like you guys get suspiciously over looked during ancient history compare to Greece, Rome, Egypt, and China.
Sorry but there so much to unpack about my perception of India and it cultures.
Hehe no worries, Ancient India works , we also divide our History according aka Indus Valley, Vedic Age, the Delhi Sultanate, Chola Empire, Mughals, British, Pre Independence, Post Independence etc The best way to know about India has to be to read about its history from books like General Studies Manual or India that is Bharat by Sai Deepak . Good books for starters. Our colonization is vastly different from the one which British did with USA aka for one their colonization was both economical which was :justified: via cultural destruction aka they have to construct a narrative that a "power" like them can never be "inferior" in terms of heritage and the world cannot know, so they used education to brainwash everyone. Just google Max Muller.
In terms of listening you can follow Abhijeet Iyer Mitra and Carvaka Podcasts to learn stuff in oral format, AIM is a great orator of history not just about us but also other countries as well whether it be Israel, Syria, Iran, Japan etc
EDIT: As for who started lionization of Gandhi? One can say it was corraborative effort of British and our own political party INC. See during pre Independence struggle INC aka Indian National Congress was one of the few political party which was making a pan Indian recognition ( we had MANY but this one was BIG) and many of our prominent freedom fighters are members and especially were President of the Party at one point or another. What really made INC even more prominent was sudden popularity of this nobody British stooge lawyer from nowhere South Africa who finally got the taste of the boot that other less fortunate Indians were getting , which he somehow managed to evade as son of a wealthy Gujarati merchant!
As one can see, Mohandas Karamchanda has always had high sense of his self despite his mediocre talents.
That showed by the way he used to threaten the INC party whose informal member he was and yet never was President off, and still had huge sway over its decision. Ofc the party let him because he brought on the masses. Gandhi's many famous movements like Non co-operation, Swadeshi, Quit India were failures but at least they kept the masses in INC. On seeing this an opportunist Kashmiri Pandit "Brown Saheb" by the name of Motilal Nehru pushed his son Jawaharlal to become Gandhi's loyal right hand man. So enamored by the elite Nehru's backing was Gandhi that he even opposed Netaji S Bose's ascension as INC President too by threatening to fast onto death! if he didn't step off for favor of HIS CHOSEN candidate( one can see where Nehru learned his dictatorial attitude from)
So INC after Independence became a Nehru- Gandhi( not M K Gandhi just a changed surname) dynasty by power of Gandhi always supporting Nehru even when people kept voting for anyone but Nehru to become President of INC and eventually PM of India. Gandhi died, but he succeeded in putting Nehru as PM against everyone's wish and Nehru then proceeded to turn INC into his own family cult ( which the party still holds on to this day!)
Nehru was a shrewd and selfish person when it came to power and he knew if he has any hope of keep the power concentrated in his and eventually his daughter's hand, he has to use Gandhi's name as a crutch ALL his life. He forced his daughter's husband to change his surname to Gandhi when she married him against his wish, and used his term as PM to lionize Gandhi as a "Sant Mahatma" aka a concept from Hinduism of an enlightened soul. So ofc he has to have characteristics of peace and no violence and these characteristics were pushed down via Education curricula as PARAMOUNT to our Independence aka INC AKA HE THE DISCIPLE OF GANDHIAN PRINCPLE is paramount to their Independence ( Vote for me! *wink*)
Nehru was also somewhat of a "Brown Saheb" aka he was one of those Oxford educated rich Indian who came back to the country well and truly brainwashed to believe that British should be treated with some benevolence and courtesy and sense of superiority for they are inferior beings. Nehru even called himself "English Inside" and felt Southern Indian culture was scary and alienating to him ( region of India which succeeded most in preserving itself from colonialism destruction , FIGURES) . So British were more than happy to lend a hand to him to promote his power narrative of being a Gandhian disciple of Non violence. It helped that it showed British as some benevolent power who appreciate peace and rationality who were never :cruel: to Indians. 'See? they protested peacefully and we left!?"
That never happened. What happened was they drained India so dry by second world war they had to subsidize us from 1911 onwards, they couldn't control the Army in India because they were wholeheartedly dedicated to Subhash C Bose who unfortunately died in Aircraft crash , and his officers REVOLTED and instigated the remaining to do it as well. British couldn't hold on to India any longer and all credit goes to Subhash C Bose and other :extremist: INC and non INC leaders whose credit Nehru-Gandhi dynasty either stole or went out of their way to subdue hence forth.
I recommend this channel. Honestly it did tremendous research and taught me things even my history books couldn't
youtube
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farchanter · 1 year
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R.F. Kuang: The Poppy War
Power dictates acceptability.
As I wrapped up The Poppy War, I couldn't help but think of how different my opinion of this story would have been if it had been written by anyone other than Rebecca Kuang.
The story ends with a deus ex machina. If we look at the book from a macroscopic perspective, from the traditional elevated perspective of fantasy, that ending might feel forced, abrupt, and unsatisfying.
For Kuang, and for us as the reader, we are instead focused on the microscopic version of The Poppy War— the deep inner conflict of Fang Runin. The conclusion of The Poppy War is the conclusion of Rin's intense tightrope walk across inner evil. Far from abrupt, it is the climax of a booklong build of emotional tension.
This is a dark, dark book. It is, broadly, about cycles of hate, fear, grief, pain, and death, each iteration more awful than the last. There are frank, graphic depictions of murder, rape, genocide, self-harm, and drug abuse. That is also my greatest caution about the book: if you're sensitive to those topics, particularly laid as bare as The Poppy War presents them, this is not the book for you. None of them is contextually inappropriate, but they are omnipresent.
This is not a "knights in shining armor ride out and vanquish evil" sort of fantasy. There are no "good guys" here. This is not a "defeated enemy vanishes in a puff of smoke" sort of fantasy, either. Its war, like real wars, can only ever be a terrible thing. The Poppy War is ugly and violent— by design. That brutality propels both the outer and inner conflicts.
Fang Runin is a peasant and a war orphan. To escape an arranged marriage, she makes a desperate bid: she tries to test into the most prestigious military academy of the Empire. When she makes it, against all odds, some crucial truths are told to her. Among these:
The third Poppy War could begin at any time.
When it does, the Empire will probably lose.
Rin is party to a strange power that could decide whether or not it does.
If I had to critique one thing, it would be that I couldn't quite square up the Academy scenes with the war scenes. They were both well-written in their own ways, but they didn't quite feel like they belonged in the same book together.
My particular edition of The Poppy War included some discussion questions (which, let me tell you, made my job much easier), and those questions brought up some good points that let me think about this incongruity a little more clearly. Kuang is a lifelong academic, and both facets of The Poppy War show that academia from different perspectives. The portions at the Academy clearly reflect her life as an academic, but the wartime sections are representations of her area of focus. Kuang studies China, including a current doctoral pursuit in East Asian Languages and Literatures. Kuang has said that The Poppy War and its sequels are inspired by the pains and revolutions of China, particularly the time British oppression during the time of the Opium Wars and through the Chinese Communist Revolution. That influence shows clearly, and that outline makes me very interested to see what comes next.
I'm excited to read the two sequels, The Dragon Republic and The Burning God. But, if I'm being honest? I'm also scared. I'm scared of what happens next to Fang Runin. I don't know where we're going, I can't stop reading it, but I do dread it.
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musewrangler · 2 years
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers (◠‿◠✿) (if you feel like it!!)
Oh very fun. I can manage a little introspection then. ;D
Admittedly, like most of us, I love all my stories, so this isn't as easy as it seems. I apparently operate under the impression that I can hurt the feelings of my fics so I will tread lightly. ;D
FIDELITY--I have had a lovely time creating the Empire Reimagined universe. I have another mapped out as we speak, waiting for summer so I can properly tackle it. But this courtroom drama fic is dear to my heart. It focuses very heavily on two sets of relationships---Anakin and his two senior officers and Luke and Leia as they strive to save those three. I loved delving deeply into loyalty and the nature of friendship, family and found family. Leia really comes into her own in this fic as well. It was great to brush off my legal brain for the court scenes and I had a fantastic time picturing Luke and Leia facing down several hundred storm troopers on their own too.
A STAR TO STEER BY---
My dear Piett decided he loved tall ships and who was I to deny him a story? So I placed all my favorite Star Wars characters into the Napoleonic period and had a great time letting them fight numerous battles ending with Trafalgar. [Essentially] This was the first fic I illustrated as well and it was delightful to play with period costume for all of our people. Let's face it---the British naval uniform of the period was pretty sharp. And our guys make it look good. I worked really hard to study naval practice and terms from the time. I'm not an expert, but I like a certain level of realism.
SHOWDOWN AT ALLIANCE RANCH---
I know this one was very off the reservation for most people. Star Wars as a Western? Really?
Yep. And I was ok with the niche appeal and small readership. It was such FUN to write! It was one of those stories that really almost wrote itself with all the appropriate tropes. Piett as the good hearted Sherrif. Veers as his faithful friend the Marshall. Leia the ranchowner with a tragic past. The vigilante Vader with his mysterious origins. Evil land baron Palpatine....yeah, I had a blast. The Lady is a horse in this one as is Artoo and the Falcon. No they're just horses, but I tried to get a bit of their personalities in there.
MIRJAHAAL--
A rather long story that began largely because I liked the idea of Piett adopting my OC Matthew Scraps from a young age and them having each other as we went into the original trilogy events [with some tinkering by me of course] It also features Luke and Leia being raised together on Alderaan knowing that their Father is Anakin Skywalker, but having to find out that he is Vader. Zevulon Veers gets to live as well and we follow them all growing up in the Rebellion. I loved the drama and action I got to play with in this story, but most of all I confess to LOVING Piett being a dad with Matt.
REBELLIONS ARE BUILT ON HOPE---
On the Dad theme....
This story was borne of a one shot I did where numerous possible realities showed up in Leia's visions. One of these was her being raised by Piett after the Organas were killed when she was eight. That muse didn't leave me alone and I eventually wrote this full length story. I loved elements like Veers and Piett meeting on the battlefield of Hoth, Vader's choices, and of course Leia being the adopted daughter of Firmus and their sweet relationship.
I also enjoyed adding Ahsoka and Rex more fully into my work for the first time in this story and placing all these characters together for this adventure made for a blast to write.
Thank you for the ask, dear Kanerallels. xxx
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the-firebird69 · 3 months
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The two of the same exact car just a different color. It's a snazzy car from the front and it does look like a mini and it's odd it's like a British car and it's a symbol and signed against us and the max want that and that's why they'd be invading and they think that we're easy prey took over all the companies like juveniles and they'll have power and ships and all sorts of stuff and that's what they're looking forward to but if you look close you notice the rear doors and that's what he wants. And he wants to be able to do side jobs and he wants to try and start some kind of a business and make cash and Ken has ideas already if you put the seats down in the back you can fit a ton of those balloon packages and even the tanks fit nicely and it's light duty but they're not that heavy each and he can lift one up and carry it off pretty good they are heavy though and he accepts help he and Ken lift it we can carry themselves and people think it's pretty cool and they try and it's heavy and he starts getting in shape doing it so it's a good idea and they're not dangerous they're low pressure and if he gets exposed it helps clear out some chemicals and actually that's one reason why to do it
This is a great car these cars are made well and Megan Merkel is making them in California they're also made all over the world but she's famous for starting it up again and making this model she said she's making him out of lawn mowers but she directs those two other people and there's tons of those shops a lot of them want the Lamborghini and he said I want a Lamborghini I want a Lamborghini since I do too and he says go find the kit and he found a mini and he put it on to the lawn mower by modifying it and he said thank you and he said you're welcome and he made a bunch of them and his friends drive them and it's awesome
These people race around in them but they're really not race cars they're not heavy duty but they do the job and they carry families groceries small construction companies and tile companies and places like that use them all the time delivery things for Auto parts delivery for you name it all sorts of food delivery they're perfect for it and he likes it too and it's used and he looked the prices and they're like $5,000 8, 000 for this particular vehicle. It started making the mini when he was telling them they should and they they made it before this but he came up with this idea later and before Meghan markle's time but she brought it back and it's making history with it and it's big time it's a big time name and our son knows it and daughter and it is related to the coach it looks a little like it and he likes that fact and Sarah revealed what it was and that's her job and they're going phones with it it's motivational to try and grab us and it's motivational to go against these pseudo empire and it's kind of like an act and they like doing Acts but it realizes they're kind of you know it shows her team but really they have a place if they have an act otherwise they just be talking to me and talk me and really it's good that our son pushed them they would just be dog meat otherwise and really it's good that he push them because you need to get all the code not necessarily to our son and daughter but you need to understand that they plan this and it's their play they're the playwright and they understand it now cuz they got through it and he doesn't really care too much and he just has something to do and he can try and counter the the empire and so they figured out that he pushed him to it that's not wrong and that they're fighting each other and they shouldn't be and they see why now it's going on since they're going to go through all tons of it
Thor Freya
It's really a blessing and he knows about it about the thought and how it works because he works for the two big guys who know all sorts of stuff and we have to catch up and go past the empire if we don't know what they're doing we won't be able to do anything about it we got really blindsided by this cavern stuff
Sarah
Olympus
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2022animalfarmg2 · 1 year
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Ham: the Crumble of an Empire
By: Eduardo Lessa & Rafael Auerbach
For quite a while, the animals learned to live with the inequality that reigned over the newly renamed Manor Farm. The pigs were now just like humans and life only got worse for the animals. The animals feared to admit it, but it was all just like in Jones' time – or maybe even worse. Now, they were abused and threatened everyday by their own 'old friends'.
Animalism, which had spread to other farms, was now taking over the British countryside. The Empire, as Napoleon liked to call it, had truly become a way of life.
However, it wasn't all good, as the empire had its problems. Indeed, the farms were extremely productive and profitable, but only a few could enjoy the pleasures and luxury that Animalism offered. Life was unfair at the Empire, as the other animals lived in situations of poverty, while only the pigs, led by selfish and tyrannical Napoleon, lived the best of life.  
One day, the animals woke up and felt something different. They sensed a weird and familiar presence. They couldn't hide the shock when Snowball called from outside the barn, gathering a meeting with some of the animals. Snowball was back? Snowball was back! They felt uneasy and scared. Because of the stories Napoleon had told them about that disgraceful traitor that was Snowball, they didn't know if they could trust him. Snowball looked different, almost unrecognizable, but the animals sure could distinguish the Snowball's unmistakable features behind all the dirt and bruises that covered him. The pig's body was entirely hurt and scratched, and his appearance showed that it had been long since he had taken a shower – which was now a daily habit among the pigs of Manor Farm.
"That’s Snowball!", screamed one of the sheep, "Run, and don’t listen to this traitor!". Some of the animals supported the idea and swore at Snowball for all the evil he had done. However, most of the animals were mind-blown by the old leader's return, and wished to hear what he had to say.
"Friend, you cannot trust everything you hear", said Snowball, in an older, tired voice. "I was never the traitor. It was evil Napoleon who betrayed Animal Farm and tried to destroy everything we had created. Now,", he continued, "you can see what he really sought. Power and wealth was all he ever wished for, and for that, he banished me from my beloved home, Animal Farm."
"No! Why should we trust you? Our beloved leader Napoleon told us all about you. Now, don’t even try to lie to us.", yelled one of the other sheep, terribly mad at Snowball.
"Sure, then I will tell you the truth about this farm, which you pretend you love! This whole system of Animalism was all just a lie, in order for us, pigs, to be in charge. I didn’t agree with this, as I thought it wasn’t fair to the other animals, and for that reason Napoleon chased me out of the Empire I created. Now, I will tell you guys all about my adventures during all this time I was gone, and help you understand why I didn’t come back before.."
"It all started when Napoleon made all the dogs chase me out of the farm. For a couple of days, I stayed outside, ruminating over that betrayal and planning my revenge. I couldn't believe I was getting kicked out of my own farm. I was angry, so angry, and I never, for even one day, forgot about how evil Napoleon had betrayed me. I tried to come back that same night, but I couldn't get in, not even if I tried, as there were dogs guarding every entrance.
"I, then, fled to Mr. Pilkington 's farm. There, I found an abandoned barn, went inside and crashed for the night. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind was racing, and I couldn’t understand. I only wanted the best for the animals, and now I was being punished for it? This didn’t make sense, it just didn’t! Don't you think it was easy for me to see Napoleon abuse his power and explore your ingenuity. It hurt me more than it did to you! And with that thought in mind, eventually I fell asleep."
“I woke up the next morning, and I was angrier, as my back hurt from sleeping on the hard floor like an uncivilized fool. I wanted to take back what was mine, so I started planning. Everyday from then on, I worked on my plan, and scouted possible entries of the farm. I couldn't find many breaches, as from the moment I was banished from the farm, the security system became a lot stricter.”
“As of now, after many months of planning, I am here! But I won't be for long, because any minute now your terrible leader Napoleon and his dogs will come after me. Don´t worry though, I´ll be back really soon! Meet me after the sunset near the barn if you wish to know the truth about this corrupt… Oh, ****, they´re coming!!”, Snowball exclaimed as the dogs came rushing after him."
Snowball was able to fled the farm, and went back to the abandoned barn at Mr. Pilkington's farm. Snowball was thinking a lot, about everything that had happened to him, which lit a fire of rage inside his heart. He wanted, more than anything, to take down Napoleon. Snowball´s plan was simple, yet effective: he would go back into the farm, dodging the dogs and would tell the animals the whole truth about the corrupt system of Animal Farm, and about the selfish and unfair Napoleon. And, if the animals didn't believe him, Snowball had a card under his sleeve, to really convince the animals. Snowball had kept some bills and checks from his time at Animal Farm, which proved that Napoleon was stealing from his own animals. “Certainly, they will believe me now,” Snowball thought. “This proves everything I've told them.
Napoleon, who was everything but a fool, noticed something was going on in his farm. He was shocked when he saw the dogs chasing the one and only Snowball.
Some time passed after that, and Snowball sneakily came back into the farm. He met some of the animals behind the barn, just like he planned. Snowball then showed them the bills that showed Napoleon and the other animals were buying things for themselves, instead of helping the other animals. He told them all the lies they had been told and the truth behind them. He explained how Napoleon stole his ideas and plotted to expel him from the farm. They were in disbelief as they found out that the leader they had learned to love was robbing them the whole time. They were angry, and this anger spread as more animals came to see what was going on. Meanwhile, Napoleon and the other pigs had no idea that a new revolution was about to start.
After more animals gathered and found out the truth, hell struck as animals started screaming, breaking stuff, and chanting insults against the pigs. "Traitors!", the animals yelled. The dogs came to the barn after they heard the chaos that was going on, and the other animals attacked them. Many died and got injured while fighting the dogs off, but eventually they killed them all. This battle was a bloodbath and the sight was horrible, but now the pigs were vulnerable, and after seeing what was going on from the big windows of the farm house, scared.
The animals marched to the farmhouse chanting “Four legs good, pigs bad.” The pigs were scared and were now gathering weapons to defend themselves, including Mr. Jones’s gun, which Napoleon had grabbed and was now loading bullets into. The animals weren’t scared though, they were determined to end this corrupt system and kill the pigs who lied to them for years. 
The farmhouse doors could only hold the animals for so long, and after they were broken down, chaos struck, as Napoleon shot any animal in front of him, the sheep jumped some of the pigs, the horses were kicking the pigs, and etc. The other animals were fighting any pig they saw, and the cows were lighting the farmhouse on fire.
Snowball sat calmly outside the house, watching as the society he and the other pigs had built come to an end. Just like that, all the time and effort put into the revolution of Animal Farm would crumble. The fire spread and started burning everyone inside, as the battle of the pigs came to an end. All pigs except for Napoleon were already dead, and burning inside the house, as Napoleon ran around the house escaping kicks and punches. Then, as he tried to run away through the back door of the house, Snowball, with Mr. Jones' rifle pointed to the door, was just waiting for him to come out. 
Napoleon begged for his life to his “old friend”, who came even closer and put the gun on Napoleon’s head. The BANG was heard across the entire farm, and as Napoleon fell on the floor, dead, Snowball sighed in relief.
There was not much to celebrate, though, as all the animals were dying inside the burning house. There were dead bodies spread throughout the fields and blood was in the air. Snowball finally had the whole farm for himself, but why did it matter?
Snowball broke down crying as he saw all the animals die. He felt like he had just finished his mission and it was all for nothing. He couldn’t take this pain and, after choosing “Long Live Animal Farm” as his last words, he took his own life – leaving the farm dead and abandoned.
A few days later, Mr. Jones heard of the news and came back to the farm. "I knew they couldn't survive without me!", he told everyone. He took back over and, for a couple of weeks, all he ate was bacon and ham.
#Animal farm #Revolution #War #Revenge #Anger #Violence.
Rated T
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eduardolessa · 1 year
Text
Ham: the Crumble of an Empire
By: Eduardo Lessa & Rafael Auerbach
For quite a while, the animals learned to live with the inequality that reigned over the newly renamed Manor Farm. The pigs were now just like humans and life only got worse for the animals. The animals feared to admit it, but it was all just like in Jones' time – or maybe even worse. Now, they were abused and threatened everyday by their own 'old friends'.
Animalism, which had spread to other farms, was now taking over the British countryside. The Empire, as Napoleon liked to call it, had truly become a way of life.
However, it wasn't all good, as the empire had its problems. Indeed, the farms were extremely productive and profitable, but only a few could enjoy the pleasures and luxury that Animalism offered. Life was unfair at the Empire, as the other animals lived in situations of poverty, while only the pigs, led by selfish and tyrannical Napoleon, lived the best of life.  
One day, the animals woke up and felt something different. They sensed a weird and familiar presence. They couldn't hide the shock when Snowball called from outside the barn, gathering a meeting with some of the animals. Snowball was back? Snowball was back! They felt uneasy and scared. Because of the stories Napoleon had told them about that disgraceful traitor that was Snowball, they didn't know if they could trust him. Snowball looked different, almost unrecognizable, but the animals sure could distinguish the Snowball's unmistakable features behind all the dirt and bruises that covered him. The pig's body was entirely hurt and scratched, and his appearance showed that it had been long since he had taken a shower – which was now a daily habit among the pigs of Manor Farm.
"That’s Snowball!", screamed one of the sheep, "Run, and don’t listen to this traitor!". Some of the animals supported the idea and swore at Snowball for all the evil he had done. However, most of the animals were mind-blown by the old leader's return, and wished to hear what he had to say.
"Friend, you cannot trust everything you hear", said Snowball, in an older, tired voice. "I was never the traitor. It was evil Napoleon who betrayed Animal Farm and tried to destroy everything we had created. Now,", he continued, "you can see what he really sought. Power and wealth was all he ever wished for, and for that, he banished me from my beloved home, Animal Farm."
"No! Why should we trust you? Our beloved leader Napoleon told us all about you. Now, don’t even try to lie to us.", yelled one of the other sheep, terribly mad at Snowball.
"Sure, then I will tell you the truth about this farm, which you pretend you love! This whole system of Animalism was all just a lie, in order for us, pigs, to be in charge. I didn’t agree with this, as I thought it wasn’t fair to the other animals, and for that reason Napoleon chased me out of the Empire I created. Now, I will tell you guys all about my adventures during all this time I was gone, and help you understand why I didn’t come back before.."
"It all started when Napoleon made all the dogs chase me out of the farm. For a couple of days, I stayed outside, ruminating over that betrayal and planning my revenge. I couldn't believe I was getting kicked out of my own farm. I was angry, so angry, and I never, for even one day, forgot about how evil Napoleon had betrayed me. I tried to come back that same night, but I couldn't get in, not even if I tried, as there were dogs guarding every entrance.
"I, then, fled to Mr. Pilkington 's farm. There, I found an abandoned barn, went inside and crashed for the night. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind was racing, and I couldn’t understand. I only wanted the best for the animals, and now I was being punished for it? This didn’t make sense, it just didn’t! Don't you think it was easy for me to see Napoleon abuse his power and explore your ingenuity. It hurt me more than it did to you! And with that thought in mind, eventually I fell asleep."
“I woke up the next morning, and I was angrier, as my back hurt from sleeping on the hard floor like an uncivilized fool. I wanted to take back what was mine, so I started planning. Everyday from then on, I worked on my plan, and scouted possible entries of the farm. I couldn't find many breaches, as from the moment I was banished from the farm, the security system became a lot stricter.”
“As of now, after many months of planning, I am here! But I won't be for long, because any minute now your terrible leader Napoleon and his dogs will come after me. Don´t worry though, I´ll be back really soon! Meet me after the sunset near the barn if you wish to know the truth about this corrupt… Oh, ****, they´re coming!!”, Snowball exclaimed as the dogs came rushing after him."
Snowball was able to fled the farm, and went back to the abandoned barn at Mr. Pilkington's farm. Snowball was thinking a lot, about everything that had happened to him, which lit a fire of rage inside his heart. He wanted, more than anything, to take down Napoleon. Snowball´s plan was simple, yet effective: he would go back into the farm, dodging the dogs and would tell the animals the whole truth about the corrupt system of Animal Farm, and about the selfish and unfair Napoleon. And, if the animals didn't believe him, Snowball had a card under his sleeve, to really convince the animals. Snowball had kept some bills and checks from his time at Animal Farm, which proved that Napoleon was stealing from his own animals. “Certainly, they will believe me now,” Snowball thought. “This proves everything I've told them.
Napoleon, who was everything but a fool, noticed something was going on in his farm. He was shocked when he saw the dogs chasing the one and only Snowball.
Some time passed after that, and Snowball sneakily came back into the farm. He met some of the animals behind the barn, just like he planned. Snowball then showed them the bills that showed Napoleon and the other animals were buying things for themselves, instead of helping the other animals. He told them all the lies they had been told and the truth behind them. He explained how Napoleon stole his ideas and plotted to expel him from the farm. They were in disbelief as they found out that the leader they had learned to love was robbing them the whole time. They were angry, and this anger spread as more animals came to see what was going on. Meanwhile, Napoleon and the other pigs had no idea that a new revolution was about to start.
After more animals gathered and found out the truth, hell struck as animals started screaming, breaking stuff, and chanting insults against the pigs. "Traitors!", the animals yelled. The dogs came to the barn after they heard the chaos that was going on, and the other animals attacked them. Many died and got injured while fighting the dogs off, but eventually they killed them all. This battle was a bloodbath and the sight was horrible, but now the pigs were vulnerable, and after seeing what was going on from the big windows of the farm house, scared.
The animals marched to the farmhouse chanting “Four legs good, pigs bad.” The pigs were scared and were now gathering weapons to defend themselves, including Mr. Jones’s gun, which Napoleon had grabbed and was now loading bullets into. The animals weren’t scared though, they were determined to end this corrupt system and kill the pigs who lied to them for years. 
The farmhouse doors could only hold the animals for so long, and after they were broken down, chaos struck, as Napoleon shot any animal in front of him, the sheep jumped some of the pigs, the horses were kicking the pigs, and etc. The other animals were fighting any pig they saw, and the cows were lighting the farmhouse on fire.
Snowball sat calmly outside the house, watching as the society he and the other pigs had built come to an end. Just like that, all the time and effort put into the revolution of Animal Farm would crumble. The fire spread and started burning everyone inside, as the battle of the pigs came to an end. All pigs except for Napoleon were already dead, and burning inside the house, as Napoleon ran around the house escaping kicks and punches. Then, as he tried to run away through the back door of the house, Snowball, with Mr. Jones' rifle pointed to the door, was just waiting for him to come out. 
Napoleon begged for his life to his “old friend”, who came even closer and put the gun on Napoleon’s head. The BANG was heard across the entire farm, and as Napoleon fell on the floor, dead, Snowball sighed in relief.
There was not much to celebrate, though, as all the animals were dying inside the burning house. There were dead bodies spread throughout the fields and blood was in the air. Snowball finally had the whole farm for himself, but why did it matter?
Snowball broke down crying as he saw all the animals die. He felt like he had just finished his mission and it was all for nothing. He couldn’t take this pain and, after choosing “Long Live Animal Farm” as his last words, he took his own life – leaving the farm dead and abandoned.
A few days later, Mr. Jones heard of the news and came back to the farm. "I knew they couldn't survive without me!", he told everyone. He took back over and, for a couple of weeks, all he ate was bacon and ham.
#AnimalFarm #Revolution #War #Revenge #Anger #Violence
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gorseflowers · 2 years
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okay wait i think in relation to that last post there’s definitely like. a strong trend of scottish people drawing that false colonisation comparison for a lot of reasons; to make us seem like the victims/good guys in contrast to england, to bolster the narrative around independence, etc etc.
and this is like utter speculation and very very influenced by my own limited life experience but i think it can also be something very attractive to latch on to when your connection to your culture is diminishing, or if it was never very strong in the first place. being able to point to the big evil empire and blame them as the reason you don’t speak scots/gaelic feels affirming. for a lot of people, the reason they don’t speak gaelic is because of the efforts england made to eradicate it -- but for a lot of other people, that’s just a more satisfying story to tell themselves.
i think because so much of what we really consider to be “scottish culture” in the past and in the modern day connects directly to rural communities and the working class, and the very street you grew up on can determine how closely connected you are, and how connected you stay, as chasing financial security often means reducing the strength of your accent and the like, there’s this disconnect between what’s marketed as scottish culture to tourists and what everyday scots are actually doing. whenever i see the picturesque, aestheticised version of scotland being advertised via blaze on this website, i think about the girl from my primary school who got to leave the inner city once on a school trip and cried looking out on the glen because she grew up in a council flat and had no idea the world could be that big. whenever i see people making fun of scottish accents, i think about how desperately i wished i could speak doric but how my mother didn’t want me to, because that’s the language of the financial hardship of her childhood and she wanted me to get somewhere in life. i think about the time when i was younger and went to see a children’s play in england, and the adults on stage made the joke “of course I cant count, i went to school in scotland!”, how scottish accents in film and tv are so often used for characters that are drunken, violent, stupid, barbaric, angry, unkempt, and this is all in good humour and not objectionable and definitely doesn’t contribute to any decline of scots language at all.
i think its hard to escape that sense of shame, and so it seems almost an easy way out to assign it to the british empire. but if you look at what we were encouraged to be proud of our nation and its people achieving, particularly in school, you get feats of invention that go hand in hand with feats of industrialisation, you get the “pristine natural landscape” that is truncated and exploited for the hunting industry, you get art and architecture bought and built with slave money. every year my primary school held a burns day celebration that never mentioned his stint as an overseer on a plantation in jamaica. my high school was founded with profits from slave labour. the biggest tourist draws in the city i grew up in were the properties of royal families past and current. my gran likes to tell me about how the oil money went straight through aberdeen and into the pockets of ceos, leaving the city a shell gutted by its own ambitions. so rarely in my own young life have i experienced any effort as a nation to celebrate our culture as it simply exists, rather than as a vehicle for profit, and once again this is utter conjecture but i think its a symptom of a different problem, one that has a lot more to do with class and culture than colonisation.
i remember once my dad telling me about the conditions his grandparents endured growing up, the squalor and starvation. i remember he said “back then aberdeen was like the third world”, and the comparison struck me, because it was shocking and it was meant to be shocking, in a way that said “that’s not meant to happen to us”. and like i don’t know exactly where this is going other than to say that the whole braveheart notion of an oppressed nation united in poetic rebellion seems like a very palatable alternative to the complicated and unsatisfying reality, of a nation containing many oppressed peoples, many of whom were and are more than ready to play a tangible and lasting role in the oppression of others if it means personal gain for them.
and i don’t really like people using the whole union of the crowns thing as a gotcha bc its not as if this was a democratic decision made by scotland as a nation rather than solely by its ruling class at the time, but the truth of it remains that it wasn’t a colonisation. it was more like a bad investment. and yeah i feel like maybe we need to put less blame on instances of violence and oppression that targeted specific groups and lauding them as the reason why any of us and all of us are disconnected from our culture and disjointed as a nation, and start looking more at our history of bad investments, with the intention to actually take responsibility for them
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clove-pinks · 2 years
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The "War of 1812 Scented Candle", complete with miniature White House near the wick, is, I cannot emphasise this enough, AN ACTUAL REAL PRODUCT THAT YOU CAN BUY (even if it's currently sold out back in stock??).
The candle is funny enough by itself, but the ad copy on the maker's website is gold (and surprisingly astute):
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It goes on to add:
We should also note that even though the British Army DID burn Washington, it was only after Americans had burned and looted the capital of Canada, as well as a bunch of other Canadian cities. But no one ever makes a candle about that! (Including us.)
THE BEST PART AND MOST 🔥🔥🔥 TAKE:
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MY DEAR WIFE. I DESIRE A SEQUEL TO THE JIMMY EMPIRE FIC. I MADE THIS TUMBLR ACCOUNT TO MAKE MY DEMANDS. NOW GO BE FREE. WRITE YOU FANTASTIC FANFIC WRITER YOU. -BEST SPOUSE, PURP <3
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this was a popular request LMAO :D
here’s the first part
The ringing of her communicator wakes Lizzie up late in the night. Blinking herself awake, she quickly answers it, speaking quietly so as to not awaken her sleeping fiance next to her. “Hello?”
“Lizzie, it’s Pixl,” comes the familiar British voice. “I’m so sorry to wake you.”
“It’s okay,” Lizzie says. “Is something wrong?”
“Something’s happened with Jimmy.”
Lizzie’s heart skips a beat. “Is he okay?”
“I’ll explain everything later but I could really use your help right now. Are you able to come to the Cod Empire?”
Momentarily forgetting that Pixl can’t see her, Lizzie nods. “Of course, I’ll come over right away.”
“Thanks so much, Lizzie,” says Pixl gratefully. “See you soon.”
“See you.”
Lizzie puts down her communicator and gets out of bed. Just as she’s finished changing, her fiance stirs in his bed and murmurs, “What’s going on? Who was that?”
“Pixl,” replies Lizzie softly, secretly glad he’s awake; she wouldn’t have woken him first. “Something’s happened to Jimmy, and Pixl needs me. You okay to come over to the Cod Empire with me?”
Joel sits up in his bed, immediately more awake. “Of course, of course. Let me get dressed.”
The two fly straight over to the Cod Empire and land outside Jimmy’s house. Pixl answers the door on the first knock. “Queen Lizzie, thank you for coming,” he says gratefully. “And King Joel.”
He leads them inside. Lizzie and Joel both gasp simultaneously as they spot Jimmy lying on the bed.
Joel freezes but Lizzie dashes to his side and grasps his hand, staring down in horror at the bruises covering Jimmy’s face. “Oh my goodness! What happened to him?! Is he okay?!”
Pixl joins her on Jimmy’s other side. “He’s recovering,” he responds grimly. “You know the demon Xornoth that’s shown their face around the server lately?”
“Heard of them.”
“fWhip and Sausage seem to be around the epicentre of the whole thing. They captured Jimmy, kept him in a cell for a whole day, beat him several times, then tried to sacrifice him to Xornoth. Scott and I managed to save him but he almost died from his injuries before Scott was able to heal him somewhat with magic.”
Lizzie gazes down at Jimmy with a worried expression, gently touching his face. He stirs slightly under her touch.
After a moment, she speaks again, her tone low and dangerous. “fWhip and Sausage, you said?”
Pixl nods. “Yeah. Scott and I chased them off but I’m a little worried about them returning to finish the job. That’s why I asked you over; I could do with some help protecting him. If that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay.” Lizzie retracts her hand and presses her fist into her palm. “Hell, if either of them show their faces around here, I’ll rip them apart with my bare hands.”
Now Joel moves closer to the bed, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “Poor Jimmy… I can’t imagine how terrified he must’ve been.”
As Pixl opens his mouth to respond, another knock at the door sounds. The three frown at each other, trying to work out who could possibly be at the door.
After a moment, Pixl heads back over to the door and answers it. His gaze darkens when he sees who’s standing there. “You’re not welcome here.”
Lizzie stiffens as she hears MythicalSausage’s voice: “I just wanted to ask how Jimmy is. And to… apologise.”
“Apologise?!” Lizzie bursts out.
Joel draws Pixl out of the way as Lizzie storms to the door and shoves Sausage backwards. “You TORTURED my friend and you think you can just walk over here and APOLOGISE?!”
Sausage scrambles back as a furious Lizzie bears down on him. “I had nothing to do with hurting him! That was all fWhip!”
“YOU THINK THAT MAKES IT BETTER?!” Lizzie bellows.
She flings out her arms and manipulates the ocean water into grabbing hold of Sausage and bringing him closer to her. “ACK!” Sausage chokes, struggling uselessly. “LIZZIE!”
“I’m going to kill you, Sausage,” growls Lizzie. “Would you rather be flung high into the air and fall to your death or drowned in salty ocean water?”
“N-Neither!”
A dark smile appears on Lizzie’s face. “Too bad. I’ve decided I’m gonna drown you.”
She lifts the water higher. His scream is abruptly cut off as the water envelopes his head, stopping him from breathing. She watches with satisfaction as his air slowly runs out.
But then Pixl’s voice comes from behind her: “Lizzie, he’s calling for you. He needs you.”
Lizzie pauses, weighing up her options. Eventually, she releases Sausage onto the dock, taking grim pleasure in the way he splutters and coughs up water. “You’re lucky this time, Sausage,” she says. She kneels down beside him and pushes her face close to Sausage’s with a menacing glare. “But if you ever, and I mean EVER, come near Jimmy again, you’re gonna wish you were never born. Do I make myself clear?”
“Y-Y-Yes!” gasps Sausage.
Lizzie steps back and lets Sausage flee, before rushing back inside and back to Jimmy’s side. Her ally is stirring, his eyelids fluttering. “L-Lizz...ie…”
“I’m here,” whispers Lizzie softly, holding his hand against her cheek to reassure him of her presence. “I’m here, Jimmy. Are you okay?”
Jimmy coughs weakly. “M-My wrists hurt.”
Frowning, Lizzie pushes down Jimmy’s sleeve, revealing the thick red marks. “Wh-What is this?!” she gasps. “Pixl?”
“It’s…” Pixl hesitates, knowing what his next words will likely cause. “They’re burn marks. He had his hands tied behind his back for most of the day in that cell.”
Joel glances sharply at his fiancee. “Uh oh.”
Thunder sounds overhead as dark clouds rapidly slide across the sky. Lizzie’s expression remains steady, but lightning flashes in her eyes. “I’ll be right back, Jimmy,” she says, her voice as steady as her expression. But it’s just an act for Jimmy’s benefit and both Pixl and Joel know it.
Neither Pixl nor Joel stop her as she storms out of the hut and takes off flying towards the Grimlands. She lands atop the outer wall, rain starting to fall from the sky.
“FWHIP!” she bellows, her voice rolling through the clouds and echoing across the land.
Seconds later, the count himself appears atop his tower, within audible distance despite the increasingly loud thunder overhead. “Queen Lizzie!” He spreads his arms wide. “How may I help you?”
A bolt of lightning strikes the very top of fWhip’s tower.
“Aha, what have I done to invoke the wrath of the Ocean Queen?” fWhip laughs.
Instead of replying verbally, Lizzie lifts her arms and summons a giant wave of water from the river, sending it crashing down like a tsunami over the Grimlands.
“NO!” fWhip yells. “My villagers! You’re gonna drown my villagers!”
“MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU TORTURED JIMMY AND TRIED TO MURDER HIM!” roars Lizzie.
fWhip stares at her for a moment as he finally remembers that Lizzie is one of Jimmy’s closest allies. “...oh…”
Shaking himself into action, fWhip dives down into his flooded village. Lizzie watches him, taking grim satisfaction in watching him flounder around in desperation. She doesn’t even realise how close he is to death until-
fWhip drowned
Lizzie quickly dissipates the flood and jumps down to look for fWhip’s items. As she’s starting to pick them up, fWhip reappears, so she retreats back to a safe distance.
“I’ll get my revenge for this, Ocean Queen,” growls fWhip. “I will not take the attempted murder of my villagers lying down.”
“I don’t give a crap,” Lizzie snaps back. “Don’t you dare think about going near Jimmy ever again, because if you do, I can promise you I will wipe your goddamn empire off the face of the world and I will NOT regret doing it.”
fWhip narrows his eyes. “You’re messing with the wrong empire. I too have the power to wipe an empire out of existence.”
“I live in the ocean. The bulk of my empire is underwater now. Your TNT will make a scratch at most.”
fWhip’s mouth opens, then closes again. After a moment, he looks away. “Fine.”
Lizzie raises an eyebrow. “Really? You’re backing down that easily?”
“I’m being smart. You’ve no idea what’s coming, Lizzie. I do. I need to prepare. I can’t afford to be dragged into another war right now.”
As fWhip turns, he finds Lizzie extremely close to him. She grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him close so that their faces are inches apart. “Then don’t start one,” she snarls. “Stay away from my allies.”
She shoves fWhip away and takes off again, flying back to the swamp. Part of her feels bad at the attack on fWhip’s innocent villagers but she pushes it aside. fWhip tortured Jimmy and was perfectly willing to slaughter him when he was tied up and defenceless.
Lizzie has no sympathy or mercy for a person like that.
When she gets back, Joel meets her at the door. “Lizzie, you’re back!” he gasps. “I saw the death message in chat.”
“Yes. fWhip needed to be told that I won’t tolerate him hurting my Jimmy.” Her gaze flickers from Joel to Pixl and back again. “Or any of you.”
Joel gazes at her with almost visible hearts in his eyes. “I love you so much, Lizzie.”
Lizzie can’t help a chuckle. “I love you too.”
“Guys, guys, come quick!” Pixl calls suddenly. “Guys!”
The two quickly rush to Jimmy’s beside but stop dead simultaneously when they see what Pixl is so panicked about.
A mark has appeared on Jimmy’s neck. It looks like some kind of rune, but what’s worrying about it is the fact that it’s glowing red.
“What is this?” Lizzie gasps. “What’s happening?”
“I don’t know! It just appeared!”
After a few seconds, the glowing dies down, leaving only the clear black mark.
“This has got to be something to do with the demon,” says Pixl shakily. “I don’t know what or how or why, but somehow, fWhip and Sausage’s attempted sacrifice of Jimmy must’ve caused this.”
“But what can we do about it?” Joel asks. “What can we do to help?”
Pixl has no answer to this.
Nobody does.
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prismatic-bell · 3 years
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@teashoesandhair since you have dragged me headfirst into this amusing Q-007 idea of yours, I want you to know I have come up with a plot.
The movie begins in near-darkness. We see Bond outside MI6 with a masked figure in black. There are sounds of a struggle. At last there’s a gadgety little beep and a door slides open.
BOND: you expect us to surrender?
HENCHMAN: No, Bond. We expect you to die.
A gun is raised, the trigger is cocked—and a phone rings. This phone turns out to belong to Q, who answers it with the charming “someone had better be dying, or you’re about to be” in the just-woke-up croak of a man still lying in bed with his eyes closed. A voice on the other end asks where he works. He asks “what time do you think it is, doing surveys before sunup?”
Bond’s voice comes on the line. It is EXTREMELY clear he’s reading from a script. He states the sins of the Empire can never be cleared, but they can be paid for. It’s quite clear from his voice that he’s in pain, although whether physical or emotional or both is up for question. Then in the same tone of voice he says “go left” and that is why Q rolls off the bed just in time for a bullet to go through it.
We cut to Q in power-walking down a hallway in MI6. He is wearing a polo shirt and looks deeply upset about this. A woman with a bun is jogging along beside him and apologizing because, she says, it’s the only shirt she still has from before. He stops, looks irritated, and says “M is dead. Her replacement just got kidnapped, the guy I’ve been seeing for the last three months was a plant, I almost got shot less than an hour ago, I’m reasonably sure someone is trying to assassinate the Queen, you and I are the only two people who made it to MI6 this morning, I’m freezing AND I STILL HAVEN’T HAD COFFEE.”
His coworker says they have to find Bond, who might have some information on what’s going on and, at the very least, is actually a 00 agent. She actually starts laying out a plan while Q finds a Keurig, brews a cup, and drains the whole thing in one go. She finally trails off while he gets to the bottom of a mug of genuinely alarming size. He plonks it on the counter, says he’s getting on his computer, and tells her to call the palace and ensure the Queen is under secure guard.
THE LADY WHO IS ABOUT TO BE 001 BECAUSE 001 IS POTENTIALLY KIA: someone took out all of MI6 in a night, including the 00 agents, and you’re going to trust a bunch of Beefeaters? Who all look the same in uniform? As though they couldn’t be impersonated?
Q: …..fuck.
Q, who is currently the closest thing MI6 has to a head of command, calls the palace in an official capacity to speak to the Queen directly. He announces he’ll be sending a 00 agent and under no circumstances should the Queen be without her. Outfits the new 001 with the usual—earpiece, fancy gun, IT toys—and, before he sends her off, says “give me your ID.” A minor argument ensues before he says “The only way to find all of MI6 is through the database. That means the reason they didn’t find you is because they were looking for a man, whose name would match with the one on your ID, now give it to me. The one time government backlog worked in your favor.”
She hands it over and asks what he’s going to do. To which he rolls his eyes so hard they might fall out of his head, and says: “I’m going to find Bond.”
The rest of the movie alternates between 001 and an action plot on her end, keeping the Queen out of danger and trying to gather intel from within the palace to see just how badly it’s been infiltrated, and Q first tracing a rogue computer signal and then sighing, grabbing a 00 kit, and taking off with something that looks like a cell phone but is actually a very tiny computer hooked into the MI6 mainframe.
This adventure proceeds much like a typical Bond outing, except that Q has to do it via backdoors and finding the nerdy interns and invisible staff of the high-powered people Bond would normally work with. He finds Bond, hacks him out of whatever mess he’s in, and they make for the exit in a firefight while Bond covers him and he ineffectually tries to assist. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to shoot a gun—it’s that previously, outside training, he has never NEEDED to, and he jammed the magazine. So as they go, he’s trying to fix the gun and keep an eye out for the door with the RFID scanner so he can get them the hell out of there. As they reach the door Bond runs out of bullets, Q finally gets his gun fixed, and as somebody aims to take off Bond’s head (complete with a laser sight, this guy’s not gonna miss), Q gets off his first shot for the entire scene and lays the guy out.
Q: ….fuck I just killed someone.
BOND: it comes with the job.
Q: it comes with YOUR job, I don’t have a 00 designation.
BOND: I’m promoting you.
Q: oh, thanks—WAIT—
(And then he shoots someone else. He still looks vaguely panicked about this. In all fairness to Q, he has had one HELL of a day and there’s been exactly one caffeinated beverage in it, and he still doesn’t have a cardigan.)
They get back to MI6 just in time for Q to pick up an errant GPS signal: missing agents! Four of them! That’s enough to make a skeleton recon team!
…but also, they’ve just gotten a phone call from the villain, congratulating Q on being SO clever…but not clever enough. The Queen is in imminent danger. 001 has evacuated her from the palace. “Ah, but London Bridge is falling down. Good day, Mr. Q,” says the villain, and hangs up.
From this, Q deduces that the Queen has been taken to St. Magnus-the-Martyr Church at London Bridge, and that it’s likely the villain means to blow it up. They need the extra manpower promised by that clutch of agents, but the villain made it sound like any moment the Queen would be dead. Bond announces he’s going after the agents.
Q: so that’s it then? We have to uphold the agency because England is about to plunge into chaos?
BOND: no. I’m going for the agents. You’re going to the church.
Which Q does, muttering under his breath the whole way. As he has been for most of this movie, actually. This is not the job he signed up for. But he goes, he gets in a very Bondish fight with his now-ex who is indeed a henchman for the villain, and just at the end when he COULD shoot him, he doesn’t:
Q: ….no. I’m not killing you. Give me my sweater.
HENCHMAN: …..sorry?
Q: my sweater. That’s my sweater, I’ve been freezing all day. Give me my sweater.
HENCHMAN: *extremely confused, but complies*
Q: *puts it on* better. Where were we again? Oh. *definitely shoots the henchman* Your Majesty. My apologies.
….to which the actual villain pops in with some sarcastic applause and an appropriate Bond Villain Speech(tm). Q realizes he has two bullets left and this asshole is staying just enough in the shadows that Q can’t accurately clock him.
There’s some sarcastic banter, during which 001 manages to get the Queen away again. The villain is pissed, but he’s like “that’s fine. You are, yourself, just a representative of corruption” and takes aim….
….just in time for the actual, original 001 to put a gun to the back of his head.
In the end:
1) The Queen is safe*
2) Bond is designated M
3) The lady Q designated as 001 is redesignated as Q. Also, in thanks for her service to the Crown, the Queen personally pushes through Lady Q’s ID with corrected gender on it.
4) The found MI6 agents begin seeking their counterparts, most of whom are alive and imprisoned rather than killed.
5) And, at the Queen’s suggestion—she’s shocked to find out all of this was masterminded by an IT tech, not a heavily-trained agent—Bond makes Q’s promotion official, and designates him 007.
ROLL CREDITS.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
*say what you want about the British monarchy and I’ll probably agree with you, but this is An Extremely British Franchise, so she’s got to live.
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write-like-wright · 2 years
Note
Oh my goodness, I simply LOVE your Herlock fics! Poor guy has virtually NO x reader fics and I'm desperate for more! Could I request a one shot of Herlock x reader, falling in love at first sight?
Thank you, anon! I'm here to quench the overwhelming Herlock thirst on this hellsite.
Pairing: Herlock Sholmes x gender neutral reader
Warnings: falling in love with Sholmes in spite of his human disaster status, fluff, Iris being babey
Word count: 1,005
Today by some blessed chance is one of those days when the sky is almost blue, the air almost clean and warm enough to be enjoyed without a coat. London autumns are rarely ever so kind to the inhabitants of the great city and you're absolutely determined not to waste the opportunity. You decide to take a stroll through your local park, a book in hand and some snacks carefully packed in your basket. Rarely do you get the chance to soak in some sun in the foggy capital of the British Empire, therefore every such occasion must be used to the fullest.
Unsurprisingly, the park is brimming with life. Young couples excitedly strolling through the grass hand in hand, children running around and laughing, even some elderly gentlemen who seem to have forgotten their beloved curmudgeonism for a day to enjoy the warmth. You settle down on a bench under the shade of a tree and open your book, hand digging through the basket for a snack to enjoy. Aha, a freshly baked cupcake with some pink strawberry frosting! You decide to take your time and enjoy your afternoon, nibbling on your delicious cupcake between paragraphs.
"Good afternoon!" A cheerful, high pitched voice pulls you out of your food-induced haze. It's a little girl standing before you, a wide smile on her face that reaches her bright blue eyes. "My name is Iris, Iris Wilson! I am ever so sorry to bother you, but the smell of those delicious looking cupcakes made me come over. I'm quite an avid baker myself, you see. Would you be so kind as to share your recipe with me?" How could you say no to that sweet little face?
The girl joins you on the bench and you give her the recipe and some of your cupcakes too, which she accepts eagerly. "Oh, thank you so much! They're ever so delicious! I'm sure Hurley would love them if he were here!" Hurley? Just then, an exasperated male voice reaches your ears. "There you are, Iris! Where in the devil did you wander off to?! We were meant to be playing hide and seek! I've been waiting in my ingenious hiding spot for a century now! There are thorns in my thigh, Iris!"
You are speechless. Is that her father? The resemblance is... certainly not there. "Hurley," Iris sighs, her head bowed. "We were meant to be playing catch... You just disappeared on me, so I assumed you got distracted by a case or such. I'm ever so sorry." Her eyes perk up then, "I've made a friend while waiting for you! How kind of them, to share some food and a recipe with me!"
"Oh." The man stills, as if only now noticing your presence. "How do you do, my dear? Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Herlock Sholmes. You've heard of me, no doubt?" Silence. "Well, how peculiar! I thought all the residents of our fair city knew my name!" He joins you on the bench through some bizarre twisting motion. "Nevertheless, I must admit, the sight of those cupcakes is making my mouth water. May I?"
You blink, utterly dumbfounded. "B-be my guest," you blurt out, offering him the sweet treat. He's an... interesting man, truth be told. His clothes are strange, odd trinkets hanging around his waist and... goggles? resting on his deerstalker hat. He certainly has a way with words you decide, listening to him blab on about his great accomplishments, Iris occasionally jumping in to correct or supplement his memory. "By God, what a pleasantly lovely day it is today, wouldn't you agree?" With that, he strips off his coat and hat, letting them rest over the back of the bench. He's quite handsome, you must admit. There is a certain boyishness to his look, face youthful but obviously not still a lad. His blonde curls are messy and falling into his blue eyes and he brushes them back with his gloved hand every once in a while. You just nod, hoping that you're not blushing and that he hadn't noticed you staring.
"I must say, my dear, as a connoisseur of all things sweet, you certainly know how to hit the spot!" You blink, definitely blushing at this point.
"E-excuse me?" He laughs, holding up his half-chewed dessert. "Why, these cupcakes of yours. Absolutely divine!"
"O-oh. Thank you, sir." You can't help but sound a bit disappointed. At the same time, you wonder what exactly is wrong with you.
"Quite welcome! Although I must admit, my dear Iris and I seem to have relieved you of quite a fair share of your food, yes. You must allow me to make up for it! Shall I treat you to some lunch? Perhaps dinner? I insist!"
You look at him, quite surprised by his boldness. Could he be... No, certainly not. "That sounds... lovely, Mr Sholmes. But really, I'm quite happy to share. You needn't concern yourself with paying me back or the like."
He laughs. "Nonsense, my dear! We won't take no for an answer. And please, call me Herlock, won't you?"
You smile then. "Well, in that case, I suppose I must accept. Thank you, Mr- Herlock." Mr Herlock. How foolish I must look, you think, the blush back in full force.
"Excellent, then! It's settled!" He looks around frantically for a piece of paper and something to write with. "Do stop by our address tonight at 8. I do quite look forward to seeing you." He adds, a bright smile gracing his youthful face.
I do? He does? Goodness gracious.
They bid you farewell soon after and walk off, the girl excitedly babbling about her new friend and the feast they must prepare. You stare at the back of the blond man, confused by the events that just transpired. As if feeling your gaze on him, he turns his head and shoots you a quick smile. You feel your cheeks burning.
Good lord, what a disaster I am.
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beanswrites · 2 years
Text
Ranking all Disney men based on how good of a guy they actually are Pt.2
Welcome back to this series, everyone! Even tho the last part was an absolute wreck, I promise this one is a bit better, since this part contains actually likable men.
Okay, fine, it's not that good-
But we are at least getting closer to the top!
Part 1 | Part 3
30. Woody, from "Toy Story"
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I've got a snake in my boot!
If you read the first part of this mini-series of mine, you know that even tho I love "Toy Story", I don't find anyone attractive there. But if I HAD to pick somebody..
don't look at me like that
I'm kidding. He's a great guy and I love him so much but my girl Bo Peep can have him.
Looks: 4/10 He's... As good as toys go?? I like his smile tho.
Personality: 6/10 Same as Buzz. Can be a little impulsive from a time to time, but all in all, Woody's good.
Overall score: 5/10
29. Roger Radcliffe, from "101 Dalmatians"
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Welp, as far as animated British men from the 60's go, I think Roger is actually pretty cute. Definitely a bit too old from me (he looks like he's in his thirties), but hey, who doesn't love a blonde musician who loves dogs??
I JUST GOOGLED IT AND IT TURNS OUT HE'S 22-23 YEARS OLD
Well that sure changes the looks department-
Looks: 4.25/10 I was about to give him a solid five but I just found out that he's actually 10 years younger (meaning he looks 10 years older) and it kinda ruined that.. All in all, still pretty decent!
Personality: 6/10 He's a good guy. A witty musician with a sense of humour and I can absolutely see what Anita sees in him.
Overall score: 5.12/10
28. Peter Pan, from "Peter Pan"
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Anybody who says that they never had a crush on Peter Pan is a dirty liar
Five-year-old me would be squealing right about now. He was my main crush when I was kindergarten, and my fav color back then was green only and just because of him. Now that I'm looking at him, he's not all that cute, but I think it was more of his carefree vibe that made me like him.
Looks: 4/10 Not as cute as I remember, but still pretty cute. Again, his personality is hot, not himself per se.
Personality: 7/10 I LOVE this guy. He was just a boy looking for fun and wanted somebody to read him bedtime stories. Also very brave and adventurous. Five-year-old me obviously had great taste.
Overall score: 5.5/10
26. Tarzan, from "Tarzan"
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He's got that cute, not really bright look on his face.. But c'mon, it's TARZAN!
I mean, he literately walks around shirtless (we aren't complaining)
Looks: 6/10 The only thing that's bothering me is his chin. Why is it so long and pointy?? (That's what she said) Everything else is fine
Personality: 5/10 I would have given him much more because he really is a great guy, but I can't since he doesn't talk all that much. Still a hero tho!
Overall score: 5.5/10
25. Milo Thatch, from "Atlantis: The Lost Empire"
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I couldn't find a better picture, but here is Milo anyway
Tbh Milo introduced us all to the "cute nerd" type of a guy
He really does have that charm. Sure, he's dorky, and can be pretty shy, but he's really cute and incredibly smart!
Looks: 5/10 Again, it's the chin. Why was Disney making such big chins? Otherwise, he has really sweet eyes.
Personality: 7/10 This guy is AMAZING. Nice, kind, polite, intelligent, interesting.. He can be a bit too curious and childish sometimes, but he's really nice!
Overall score: 6/10
24. Jim Hawkins, from "Treasure Planet"
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I have a confession to make.. I haven't actually seen "Treasure Planet", I just know this guy exists, and that people ship him with many characters from different movies, like Ariel
But he looks VERY handsome
and emo.
Looks: 6/10 I like his blue eyes, and I think that ponytail suits him! Also, heard his voice for the first time today, and it's pretty much what I expected.
I decided that I'm not gonna do his personality, since I don't know anything about him, and it wouldn't be fair. He does, indeed, look very emo tho, so can somebody please confirm or deny this in the comments?
Overall: 6/10
23. David Kawena, from "Lilo and Stitch"
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This man is THE BEST Disney boyfriend and there's nothing anybody could say or do that would change my mind.
He takes care of Nani and really listens to her, plays with and takes care of Lilo and Stitch, is super supportive and doesn't rush things!
Honestly we all want a boyfriend like David
Looks: 6.5 I'm honestly ALL for big guys who are nice and sensitive, plus his hair really is fancy. Plus, his fanart is one of the best I have seen for any Disney guy!
Personality: 7/10 He's the best Disney boyfriend, like I said, but I don't really remember this movie so the best I can give him is a 7
Overall score: 6.75/10
22. Phoebus, from "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"
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I'm just gonna say one thing: Esmeralda had a great taste
I know that the topic of him is pretty controversial (bc some people dislike him while other like him), but this man introduced me to the "I flirt by being a sarcastic ass" trope and honestly, I will love him forever for it
Looks: 6.5/10 Love the man, hate the beard. I'm sorry, but small chin beards are not for me.
Personality: 7/10 This man works as a single soldier, respects women, helps and fights for minorities and flirts by being a sarcastic jerk and you're telling me YOU DON"T LOVE HIM???
Overall score: 6.75/10
21. Beast, from "Beauty and The Beast"
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Because I saw some other people doing it, I'm gonna rate Beast and Prince Adam separately, even tho they technically are the same person. It's kind of understandable however, since his looks aren't the same at all.
This man walked so every other tsundere could run.
You call it being a jerk and then learning to not be one, I call it ✨character development✨
Seriously, I know that there are many topics of this movie being an example of Stockholm Syndrome, but it really isn't. Examples of Stockholm Syndrome in Disney are the relationship between Rapunzel and Mother Gothel, or the relationship between Frolo and Quasimodo. This movie is just about this big guy over here who learned to love with Belle's help.
Looks: 6.75/10 Idk what is it, but he's always been kind of attractive. His facial expressions with his blue eyes kill me. Not a fan of the horns tho.
Personality: 7/10 Chefs kiss. My weakness is people going from absolute jerks who don't care to warming up to a person and being soft. The song "Something there" where they both realize that the other might not be so bad is one of my favorites. Love him.
Overall score: 6.87/10
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That would be all for this one, everyone! We are getting much closer to the actual good ones, so follow me or stay tuned to see who's on top of this chart!
And yes, I know I promised Marvel men too, but I don't see how you expect them to be this low on the list since they are all so fine?? They are gonna be there in the next part, promise!
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