did this the other day. I already posted it but the quality goes to shit when it’s up so I deleted it, but idk how to fix it so whatever. It’s not good anyway. I was just bored.

I’ve applied for a bunch of jobs but I haven’t heard back yet except for one which I didn’t get. I don’t mind though, it’s quite far away so I’d have to get buses, and there weren’t many hours for it anyway. I hope I get something I’m so bored of sitting around. No one does anything. Or they do it with other people.

The weather has been so lovely since we got back from holiday, I just want to do stuff and not waste it. Matt and I have been out a lot obviously, but when he’s at work I drive myself nuts cause I just sit there for hours. Too much time to think.

I’ve played hockey a couple times, we won the last match of summer so that was cool.

Although I told one of them about all the stuff with the notes and the texts and the hacking etc, because my sister said a note came to moms house, and I told Matt and he said I need to tell someone about it. So I told Emily literally everything in the car after we played hockey cause I figured she’d know who to go to to like ‘officially’ talk to or whatever. She was kinda freaked I think. I mean obviously it’s a bit weird and extreme and fucked up. And she said she’d tell the right person and see what to do, and then she texted me later that she’d done that and now I have to go and talk to them tomorrow So they can like log it or whatever. Em said they wouldn’t be able to find out who it was short of telling literally everyone, which of course I don’t want, but I don’t care about who it is I’d just like it to stop. To be fair it hasn’t happened in ages but you never know what’s coming next. And i just don’t want mom to find out everything and go mental. I’m kind of glad I said something cause I mean it has been a year and a half now, but at the same time like she said they can’t stop it. I guess it’s just something to have it noted and recognised as an issue, but that’s all. Emily said she and they think i should go to the police and make a statement or something but I’m not doing that it’s so pointless. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. I don’t even care anymore about it, I’m so over it. It was upsetting and, frankly, petrifying before, but now it’s just either repeats of shit somebody said or straight up lies, so what’s the point in crying and being upset. It’s not going to change anything. I changed all my passwords and blocked everyone on everything and even matts got a different car and new job. The only thing they have I guess is our addresses and matts number maybe. Man this is still so weird to me. Even over a year on. Stalking and harassment and shit is so not something that I would’ve pinned to myself. Haha. Oh well.

Feel like I went on a tangent with all that considering I only wanted to post my poem thing. Oh well, it always happens. I’ve been meaning to stick some thoughts on here for a while but haven’t really been arsed up until now. I’ve made some edits and shit so I wanna post those but like i said just feels like i haven’t written in a hot minute.

In other news, I listened to Coasts for the first time in ages and ages, I totally forgot about them. And it made me sad cause they split up last year and I didn’t go to their farewell tour and now I can never get that back :( And also I’ve found loads of new music and bands recently and they’re never from round here, or even this country and it’s so annoying. Like OK Moon, it’s a new band that’s got Dustin Tebbutt in, and i love him and his music so so much, and they’ve put three singles out in the past couple of months and they’re so great. But they’re from Aus and they’re only touring in Aus so far and it’s so like frustrating.

I want to go and see Amber Run this year, Jaz said she’d come too cause she likes them but we haven’t got tickets or anything yet. I really really would love to see Cigs after Sex too, but I think I’d have to travel quite a way for that gig and idk if anyone would come too.

Tom Rosenthal is also doing some stand up in a few months and I desperately want to go to that but again I don’t think anyone will come. Erin is the only person I know who def would see him but she won’t want to pay for the train to get there. It’s totally understandable obviously but I wish someone would come. Ahhh. If I was ok with it I’d just go myself but I just couldn’t. You have to be a special kind of odd or a special kind of confident to go to a theatre to watch a stand up comedy gig on your own. And I am neither. Which sucks honestly.

Oh also holiday was amazing I wish we never had to come home.