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#that i called my mom asking if its true
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people headcanoning swatch as feral-slash-a huge asshole is so funny to me because in my mind they are the direct opposite and its like looking at a celebrities before and after hard drugs photo
poor swatch got into the crack cocaine oh noooo they thought it was confectioners sugar
i mean yeah in my brain theyd kill a bitch but itd have to be under Circumstances
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lilgynt · 1 year
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okay i am hilarious for being the only kid to take up my moms threat of kicking us out as far as i know like cmon. cmonnnnnnnn.
#personal#not to brag but im bat shit. game plan was go missing for a week.#if this happened a day sooner i would have more than 5 bucks to my name#but not like missing for attention i was just kinda done with my whole family. not missing bc i also said ill still visit dad#but like seriously im still stuck like mom kicked me out and requested my phone what the fuck did anyone think would happen#like i did that and 'fucked off' the grid#thats not fucking off thats doing as i was asked. like oh yeah thats fucking crazy because it was a fucking crazy response to calling out#oh my god i made my argument for when i talk to my mom later#but anyway i am so funny for packing up most my stuff and couch surfing and going off the grid#in my defense alarming true feelings aside i did literally say im not gonna do anything#like i warned everyone hey im gonna be mia bc mom asked for the phone#anyway not a fun event and im pissed im spending my weekend doing this when i was just feeling unwell and wanted to sleep#this in fact the opposite of sleeping and resting#anyway when i talk to my mom later if nothing else its not all talk i guess?#i will most likely be talked into moving back in. my brother already started yesterday but im gonna talk to my mom about like#therapy maybe? but mainly emphasize that she shouldnt say thing she doesnt want#if you kick me out and take the phone shockingly that will will kick me out and no one will have anyway to contact me#if thats what you want thats fine. i have places i can stay and can get a phone plan#but if you want me to live here than dont do that. dont threaten it#i will leave and i will not come back#i dont want to turn this into a shit on my mom fest when i go talk to her but im a fucking adult women getting my moms equivalent of#grounding me for calling out with the hours. i have to negotiate hair cuts and get permission if i want another ear piercing#thats not fucking normal. at all. i pay my rent on time to her and have been doing nothing but helping with dad#almost all my work occurnaces are bc im helping with dad#like a few on me but most#i get shes going through it and she cant understand me calling out but that does not justify this at all.#like i would perfer to stay bc im a sicko but i cannot keep doing this. if she brings up the calling out im gonna tell her it#that it doesnt matte that i called out. frankly speaking. as long as i pay my rent thats all that should matter to her. and even without#that this issue isnt about me calling out this is about you kicking me out#those two? not comparable. in the least. in any world.
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theood · 1 year
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I've been making so many adult phone calls recently and now Im playing will my doctor fill my t prescription, they haven't gotten back to me I've been off T since the day after my one month mark, they needed PA for my insurance to cover it, "we'll get back to you in one to two business days" it's been much longer, the pharmacy wont tell me when PA is required leaving me to wait longer, I still don't have a job, I have to call my doctor tomorrow to ask whats going on. If I get told anything with my insurance is fucky, that the PA didn't go through, I have to pay out of pocket I can't afford my T. I was so fucking happy to start it, I was over the moon I FELT happier, I was so excited to wake up every day, I haven't felt like that in so long and it all got torn from under me and I am trying to hard to stay positive and that it will all be okay because it HAS to be okay because I chose to live, because I chose to keep going, because I want to be alive, but all of this really takes it toll and I am just tired. I am so tired of being the adult. I've been playing adult for so long I want to step back and I cant and I have to keep going because that's just life and I just want one stable thing again
I want to be on T again. I want to be happy. I want to be myself. I chose to be happy why is that so hard too keep
#elias.zip#I guess. im not going to lie I feel very fucking defeated. I got told I would get an email from a place I applied to tonight. I will give#her a couple days bfore I try calling again and hope they don't blacklist me. Im going to ask to switch to shots because I cant keep doing#this PA stuff. I cant. i just want to get my T at reasonable times and have it when I need it. Why does everyone else get to have it no pr#oblem and I dont? I am doinf my best to stay positive I am trying to change how I let my internal dialogue talk but man it feels so fucking#right to me that I should just give up. Starting T was a joke. Im never getting on it again. I'll be 30 and no ones going to know Elias be#cause he doesnt exist and im never going to hear my name said and I was never meant to be happy and I will rot in my room just like I did#when I was younger and I never really left my childhood home. and I never grew up#and tomorrow im going to get up and make another adult phonecall and ask nicely about my prescription and if I can switch or if switching#would negate the PA request I am not told about and I will have to scrounge for money and save every penny and tell the voices#thank you for helping and hang up and go on with my day where I do nothing because I am nothing and then I will smile at everyone and#say I love you#I dont even have any money for shots or for needles. sure my insurance says they cover shots and shots usually provide less trouble but w#hat about the needles. the disposal. a safe place to put those. i cant ask my mom and dad. im alone in this. i cant pay anyone back. no#place wants a deadbeat as a hire and thats all I am to any job no matter how hopeful I come in. no one wants to work with me. no one wants#to train me. my teacher was right on how I was going to grow up.#and yet. again. tomorrow im going to wake up and go 'this is fine' and im going to call and act like everything is ok and assure myself its#ok because it has to be. if I tell myself that enough it has to be true. thats how it works#fake it till you make it and all that#just. man all the adults in my life were right about me lol
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yanaromanov · 12 days
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my sweet assistant
- professor!natasha x lawyer!wanda x reader
part summary: you take a position in assisting professor romanoff after classes to make up for a missed assignment. your flustered state only continues as you’re forced to spend one-on-one time with her, even more so when her wife is introduced into the equation…
part warning(s): teacher/student relationship, age gap (r is of age), power dynamics, married wandanat (no cheating), pet names, mentions of anxiety, mentions of bad family relations, minor death, funeral etc. minors dni
authors note: this took me a bit longer to write and release than i would have liked thanks to my broken arm and writers block so apologies for that. but even tho i kinda hate it, it’s here now, so i hope you enjoy! :)
part two of the inescapable love series
inescapable love series
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・ 。゚*. 18+, minors DNI . * 。゚・
11.5K words
People say life comes with its ups and downs, something you had come to learn was rather true, but why did it always seem the downs came at the worst of times? A call from your mother was never really a good sign to begin with, usually her nagging being the only thing waiting on the other end of the line, but this time when you picked up and heard what she had to say, not good turned to terribly bad. It wasn’t the extent of the problem as such that worried you, more so the timing. Your Russian class had an assignment coming up, due in less than a week, and thinking you had enough time to get round to it, you still hadn’t started. Something that would have been totally fine if not for your mom’s name popping up on your phone last night and sharing news that would throw your entire schedule off.
The way your mom had picked up the phone had immediately informed you something was wrong, but a death announcement was certainly the last thing you had been expecting to hear on a Sunday night. It was your grandmother, on your dad’s side. She’d passed away over the weekend, finally giving up on the hospice care she’d been dependent on for months. The news itself hadn’t been too much of a shock, the old woman’s health deteriorating for years, and it didn’t much upset you either. You’d never really been close to your grandmother, your brother being the one favoured from your family, keeping you distanced whenever you visited her house. Your teenage self had already mourned for the relationship you had never had and that felt more painful than the actual loss in front of you now.
The main thing concerning your mind now was how you were going to complete your assignment. On the phone, your mom had told you she’d already booked the flights for you coming home, prepared for the funeral just that week, a quick turn around due the arrangements been made in advance from the anticipation of her death. It would see you in England the entirety of the week, leaving tomorrow afternoon and not returning until late Friday evening. Even with the extra days you had at home, the funeral tea and family gatherings would no doubt leave you no time at all to complete your assignment.
You knew what you had to do now, had done it many times before for other classes, but something about this time felt more intimidating. As you sat in the lecture theatre, watching your professor teach at the front of the class, your heart pounded in your chest at the thought of asking for the extension. More time alone would have to be spent with your Russian professor, the last time still lingering unwanted in your mind. The thought of speaking to her one on one once more was enough to send your anxious mind into a frenzy.
Desperately, you tried to cling on to the reality of things as your lesson continued. It was the day of the week where your class would practice your Russian speaking, conversing with one another whilst Professor Romanoff would walk around, listening in and correcting any mispronunciations. In the end, it would build up to the speaking exam the end of semester held, a private conversation that each student would have with your professor which was then graded alongside your written tests.
The girl sat beside you had claimed the spot as your partner when the first speaking lesson had started up, thankfully not the same girl who’d passed you dirty looks after your perfectly scored paper. The two of you worked through the worksheet in front of you, sounding out the words and building them up into a conversation. Your partner seemed slower than you to grasp the concepts, but you found you didn’t quite mind, allowing your thoughts the moments in between to plan exactly how you’d make your request to Professor Romanoff.
When the class had finally drawn to a close, everyone began packing up their things, worksheets handed back down towards the front. Professor Romanoff stood against her desk, collecting papers as she shouted out across the clamouring hall. “Remember your assignment is due on Friday everyone. Do not use google translate. I can tell!”
It seemed your class wasn’t paying her announcement much notice, instead focused on making it out of the double doors and out into the corridor. Like you had done before, you packed away your things slowly, lingering in the row of seats until almost everyone had left the room. Only when the last few stragglers were close to the door, did you begin your descent towards the central desk. Professor Romanoff stood wiping clean the board once again, back facing you. This time, however, you cleared your throat to make your presence known. The woman’s face was slightly bewildered as she turned, melting away immediately as she spied you standing across the way, a smile appearing on her lips instead. “Miss Y/L/N,” she said, wiping the chalk dust away from her hands and turning back to close the distance between you. “Is everything alright?”
"Uhm, yes," you said nervously, watching as the woman came to stand in front of you. "Well...no, but-" You shook your head, attempting to dispel the anxious thoughts that clouded your brain. Fingers began to fidget as you looked back up at your professor with a nervous smile. "I was wondering if I could possibly get an extension for the assignment?" The redhead in front of you raised a single brow, looking inquisitive to your scenario and hence, drawing more of and explanation from your chest. "It's just my grandma passed away and I have to fly back to England for her funeral this week. I'm not going to be back till Friday night and with all the travelling and family stuff and jet lag, I probably won't have enough time to do it." Your hands gestured about, trying to find anything else to do rather than anxiously pick at your nail beds. "I don't need a long extension, maybe just till Monday? I can get it done over the weekend when I'm back."
The spill of words finally fell short in the silent room, your blurting echoing ever so slightly in the emptiness of the hall. Professor Romanoff stood in front of you, today wearing a matching black skirt and blazer, a white shirt neatly tucked in. "I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother." Your gaze raised up to the pair of green eyes as she spoke, a soft expression held between her features. "Are you doing alright?"
The question had came unexpectedly. You shook your head as you answered. "Oh yeah, I'm fine." You smiled sheepishly, shrugging your shoulders. "We were never close."
"Well," Professor Romanoff replied, gaze softening further. "I'm still sorry to hear about her." She passed you a gentle smile as she stepped towards her desk, leaning against the front of it like it seemed she had a habit of doing. When she looked back up at you, her expression had changed. "As for an extension..." Her emerald stare met yours, always seemingly able to make you shy away. "You're a good student Y/N, so I'd really like to say yes, but unfortunately I have a policy against extensions."
Your memory fleeted back to the first day of class, suddenly recalling the rules your professor had set out. Extensions would only be given to those with medical absence, provided they had a document signed by a health professional. Only remembering that now, you felt entirely stupid for asking for the extension in the first place. "That's right," you blurted. "I'm so sorry, I totally forgot. Listen, forget I even said anything." You adjusted the straps of your backpack as you made to turn your body towards the door. "I'll try get it done on the plane or something. Thank you anyway."
You made it about three steps away before you heard your name being called out from behind you. Slowly, you turned your shoulders, looking back at the woman who still sat against her desk. "Yes, Miss Romanoff?" you called in response. A single manicured nail raised up, the finger curling to beckon you back in the direction you'd came. Biting down on the skin of your cheek, you turned fully, slowly closing the gap that had formed between you and your professor. When you stood in front of her again, you began to rub one of your arms nervously.
Professor Romanoff inclined her head towards you, a faint smile on her painted lips. "I can't give you an extension but I can offer you an alternative. Some extra credit that will cover the assignment, worth the same percentage of your grade. And I'll even give you the full marks."
Your head angled in both curiosity and uncertainty. The prospect of the extra credit sounded like just what you needed, but you couldn't quite grasp the notion that your professor was suggesting. "Full marks?" you asked. "As in, a hundred percent on the assignment?"
A painted smirk pulled at the corner of your professor's mouth, her body leaning ever so slightly closer to yours. "Don't act like it's such a miracle, sweetie. We both know what you're capable of, hm?"
As her words hit you, you could immediately feel the warmth they brought to your cheeks. Face feeling flushed, you tried to distract your brain, unfocusing on the perfect pair of lips still smirking in your direction. "What would I have to do for the extra credit?"
Professor Romanoff sighed, adjusting herself on the desk. You diverted your eyes as her arms crossed her body, once again pushing her slightly-revealed cleavage up against her chest. "Well, my assistant for this year pulled out on me last minute, which has left me just drowned in work." Green eyes met yours as a wide smile spread across the redhead's lips. "So, just give me a helping hand after class for a few weeks and the credit is all yours."
This proposal seemed almost too good to be true. Simply helping out your professor in turn for a perfect grade? It almost didn't seem fair. As you thought over her offer, the idea couldn't help but make you feel a little flustered. After all it would entail spending time alone with the red haired woman, something that seemed to leave you an oddly ruffled mess. But the entire thing sounded far too good to pass up, an opportunity practically laid out on a silver platter. Sounding easy enough to follow through with, you nodded your head with a smile. "Yeah, I can do that."
The smile on Professor Romanoff's face widened at your agreement. "Perfect," she said, green eyes glinting. "Can I see you back here next Monday? Say...three pm?"
You nodded once more. "Yeah. That works for me."
"Alright then," the redhead replied. She stood up from her desk, smiling down on you from the height accentuated by her heeled boots. "Don't you worry your pretty head about the assignment and I'll just see you here next week."
The words seemed to wash over you with a flush, something igniting inside that you couldn't quite put a finger on. Nervously, you looked to the floor, picking at the ends of your jumper while Professor Romanoff moved to stand behind her desk, seemingly unaware of your heightened nervousness. Before you could properly formulate a response, the other woman was already speaking once more. "Go on then. Don't want to be late for your next class do you?"
Her words seemed to shake you back to the present, that nervous little smile appearing on your face again. "Right," you said, adjusting your backpack. "Thank you, professor."
She smiled back at you. "It's no problem, honey. Now run along."
You found yourself nodding as you turned to leave, urged on by her commands. A few steps away she called out to you. "Take care of yourself, Y/N."
You looked back over your shoulder, flashing a small smile. "I will Miss Romanoff. Thank you." And with that, you were walking out the door, headed towards your next class with you mind focused on what exactly your assistant duties with Professor Romanoff may entail.
———
"When are you back again?"
"Friday night. About nine-ish?"
You passed the raven-haired girl a quick glance over your shoulder as you continued to fold the items of clothing in your hand. A loud sigh filled the space as you heard Kate roll over in her bed, rustling the top of her sheets. "That's four whole days of you leaving me completely alone."
As you placed the last of your clothes into the open suitcase, you swiveled around to look at Kate. Your brow furrowed as you noticed your best friend sprawled dramatically across the covers. "Kate, you do realised we have other friends?" you replied with a soft sigh.
But it seemed the girl took no notice, throwing her hand up to cover her eyes as another noise of discomfort slipped from her lips. "I'm gonna look like such a loser at breakfast." The truth was that the pair of you did have more friends at university, with whom Kate could definitely speak to while you were away, despite how the majority of the time it was always just the two of you. This could be down to the fact you were the only ones still sharing a dorm on campus, most of your friends having moved out to apartments around the city. You and Kate had looked into that option but your loan wasn't enough to cover the rent, so you'd both settled to remain in the on-campus accommodation, still sharing your meals in the wide dining hall.
You sighed again. "I'm sorry my grandma dying is such an inconvenience to you." At that, Kate shot up in bed, immediately looking less irritated and instead concerned. The way you smiled playfully back at her, however, made her brows drop ever so slightly, the fear of her actions hurting you slipping away. You'd already told her you weren't all that bothered by the passing, more so annoyed by the bother of it all, but it seemed despite how dramatic she could be, Kate was still worried about your feelings. "Relax Bishop," you said, a gentle smile tugging at your lips. "You know I'm kidding. I hate the fact I'm going just as much as you do." With all the hustle of trying to get through your work that day, you hadn't had much time to think about the reality of going home. Now packing your things, the dread of it all was beginning to settle on your shoulders. Still, you forced a smile on your lips as you walked across to Kate's bed, sitting yourself down next to her. "I'm sorry I'm leaving but I'll make it up to you, yeah?"
Just then, a spark seemed to light up in Kate's eyes. She turned to you, a wide smirk plastered on her lips. "Will you come to a party with me?" The proposal was one Kate often brought up, and one that was just as often shut down. Whenever Kate was getting ready to go out for a night, you were always cooped up in your textbooks, ignoring her complaints of how you studied too much and focusing instead on memorising every piece of material on the paper. For three years, your best friend has had to drag you to every party you'd ever been to, sometimes even snatching the book from your hands and then pleading you with puppy dog eyes. Those same eyes looked at you now, silently begging.
"Fine," you said finally, causing Kate to throw her hands up in the air. You raised your hand before her excitement could get out of hand. "But only one and not until after midterms."
The girl looked slightly disheartened but her smile still remained wide. "Fine," she replied, looking to already be planning the event she'd drag to you in a few weeks time. As Kate settled herself back in her bed, you stood to cross the room, returning to your almost-packed suitcase. You placed the last item in one side - a long black coat Kate had let you borrow to wear to the funeral - then zipped up the first half. All the other half was missing was your toiletries bag, of which would have to wait until the morning to be packed. As you were closing things up, you threw a comment to Kate over your shoulder. "I spoke to my Russian professor today about that extension for the assignment, remember?"
You heard Kate's head turn towards you, becoming distracted from her party planning. "Oh yeah, what'd she say?"
As the final zip on your suitcase closed, you turned back around to your best friend. "She doesn't really do extensions so she said I can help out after class instead to make up my grade."
Kate's brow furrowed. "What, like an assistant?"
"Yeah, exactly. Hers apparently dropped out so I'm filling in for a few weeks." You bent down to push your suitcase under your bed, ready to go tomorrow morning, then stood again, shrugging your shoulders. "She said she'll give me the equivalent of full marks for the assignment."
"Wait, what?" Kate shot up in bed, her jaw hanging slack. "You just help her plan a couple lessons and get a free ride to a perfect score?"
You breathed out a laugh, not only at Kate's theatric tone but also at the improbable truth of the scenario. It hadn't really hit you until now how easy you had it, an exceptional gateway to an easy 'A'. "Yeah," you giggled out, taking a seat on your bed. "I mean, she said I'm a good student so she expected me to do well anyway." You tried to ignore the strange tingle in your head as you recounted your professor's words, instead focusing on Kate who flung herself up in her bed.
"Dude," she said, looking at you incredulously. Her eyes shifted, looking down to the floor. "Maybe I should have taken Russian this year."
Another laugh spilled from your lips as you stood, closing the gap between you and your best friend. "I think you should focus on the classes you're already taking." Your hand reached out for Kate's pulling her up from her bed before she could get a chance to reply. "Now, let's go get dinner. I'm starving."
———
The setting sun streamed in through the wide windows of Natasha's office. The entire room was painted in a soft orange glow, guiding the redhead as she finally began to pack up for the night. Today had been a long day for her, her daily schedule packed and evening full of essay marking that needed to be completed by tomorrow. Finally, Natasha had managed to get finished up, closing her laptop and packing away her notes for the night. She tucked them away into her bag to bring to work the next day before shutting off the lamp inside the room and retiring from her office for the night.
Her feet padded across the wooden floors as she made her way out of the home office. The sun's glow followed her, let in by the expansive windows her and Wanda's house contained. When she reached the living room, Natasha spied her wife curled up on the corner of their sofa, a blanket draped over her legs and an open book sat in her hands. Her footsteps were silent as she made her way over to the other redhead. Though she imagined her wife had still felt her approach, as she didn't flinch when Nat's hands came down for a hug from behind. Natasha's arms wrapped around her wife, a small hum escaping her lips as she pressed a gentle kiss to the pulse point of her neck. "Baby," Natasha whispered, her voice low. Wanda simply hummed in response, her eyes still focused on her novel, her attention only slightly skewed when Natasha leaned in closer, pressing more kisses down the skin of her neck.
"I need to speak to you about something." Natasha's voice remained low, her words fanning out on to her wife's collar bones. She'd been waiting for this moment now for a while, anticipating just the right time to bring up her scenario to her wife. The thoughts had been circling her head for a small while now, perhaps longer than she liked to admit, but she found she couldn't wait any longer to share.
"What is it, moya lyubov?" Wanda's eyes finally raised from her book, head turning over her shoulder to look up at her wife. Though, this position didn't last long, as Natasha lifted her legs and swung herself over the back of the couch, landing in a position beside her wife. This was a habit Wanda hated, forever telling Natasha to 'use her legs like an adult', but this time she didn't have time to pester the redhead as she'd already began to speak. "Do you remember that student we spoke about? The one that got the perfect score."
The slight look of annoyance from Nat's behavior was quickly replaced by an inquisitive expression as Wanda furrowed her brow. The redhead finally closed her book on her lap, sliding a bookmark into place. "Yeah, I do. What was her name again?"
"Y/N Y/L/N."
Wanda hummed, a small smiling appearing on her lips. "That's it. Cute name. What about her?"
Natasha inhaled, her mind passing over the already scripted conversation she'd created. "I spoke with her again today. Came in asking for an extension for an assignment." The redhead smiled, remembering the interaction from that morning. She took another deep breath before she uttered the next words from her mouth. "I think I've maybe taking a liking to her."
"Oh?" Wanda's eyebrows raised, her expression changing to one of surprise. It wasn't new that the couple were searching for someone else in their relationship, the openness of the topic having been in circulation almost since the two had first got together. But the surprise came from the fact Nat had perhaps found someone she believed could slot into their duo, her and Wanda's standards usually far too rigid to find anyone to spend more than a night with. If Natasha was bringing up a girl like this, she must have seriously considered the possibility of a longer association, and that thoroughly intrigued Wanda.
"Now," Natasha continued. "Of course I don't want to do anything we don't both agree on, but..." She paused for just a moment, smiling a little up at her wife. "I would be lying if I said I hadn't already been playing around with her. Just a little bit." Natasha held up her fingers, signaling the small amount of teasing she'd subjected her prized student to. "You know, I didn't want to come asking your permission for a girl who turned out to be a bore."
The more Natasha continued to talk, the more Wanda became interested and invested by the conversation at hand. She slowly slipped her book to the couch beside her, leaning in closer towards her wife. "And is she?"
A wide smirk appeared on Natasha's lips as she relished in her wife's question. "Not in the slightest." Her expression only deepened as she recalled the little moments of you she'd been observing in class. "She's so fucking cute," she said, stating the obvious right off the bat. "She's always early for class and always paying so much attention. She shows up in the sweetest little outfits, like she doesn't even know how good she looks." The redhead smiled as she remembered the sight of you in your small summer dresses or slightly oversized sweaters. "Oh," she said, reminded of her favourite bit of all. "And she has this adorable little English accent."
With the last of her wife's words, a similar looking smirk began to appear on Wanda's own face. "Well now I'm intrigued.”
Natasha smiled back at her words as she shrugged a shoulder. "As I said, I played around a little bit and Wands..." The redhead had to suppress a sigh as she reached for her wife's hand. "I just know how much fun she'd be," she continued, her voice almost a whine. "I mean, she gets flustered so easily. One little pet name and she's already hiding away her flushed face."
Wanda's smirk deepened as Natasha continued to talk, stirred further by the slight desperation she could hear in the redhead's voice. She had to wonder just how long she'd been wondering about this one student and just how much fun she was getting to have without her... "Go ahead, malysh," Wanda replied finally, squeezing her wife's hand gently. "I trust your instincts. You'll just have to introduce me sometime soon."
Natasha's brows shot up. "You're sure?"
"Yeah," Wanda chuckled back slightly, amused by the excitement underlying Nat's voice. When she spoke again, her lips had formed a devilish smirk. "It'll be fun. It's been a while since we had somebody to play with."
———
The funeral was awful. Of course, one never expects such an event to be the epitome of joy, but this particular funeral was like your own personally curated hell. Your entire family was gathered in one place, meaning not only were your parents’ critiques breathed down your neck the entire time, but they were also joined by those more distant. Grandparents and judgmental aunts seemed to team up on you, all obsessing over your university career and what your future plans were. Many pestered the question of your singularity, claiming that ‘a pretty young thing like you should have been swept up by a man a long time ago’. Unfortunately, the almost-compliment that could be found in their talk, was quickly diminished by the discussion of how it must be something wrong with your personality rather than your face, comments all whispered from where they thought you couldn’t hear.
There was no escape from the constant berating, your schedule full of family meals and teas, and far too lengthy conversations around the fireplace, of which you could not be excused due to your mother’s abhorrence of anyone ever thinking of her children as rude. To make matters worse, you were exhausted from jet lag and the flight, something certainly not helped by the endless hours of socializing and pressing on a smile for your family.
Still, you pushed through like the perfect daughter you always tried to be. You sat politely at the funeral, wearing an old black dress and Kate’s coat, the perfume of your best friend aiding a little to your torturous discomfort. Though your family cried, your eyes remained dry, silently staring at your feet and trying not to draw any attention to yourself. At the funeral tea, you shook hands and smiled softly at family members, answering any questions they asked with the grace your mother had forced upon your shoulders at a young age. Of course, she found her usual pride in parading you and your brother around like a pair of trophies she’d spent hours shining. The entirety of every event was exhausting.
Even at the will reading, there was no break to be given. Your late grandmother had graciously scattered her belongings to her loved ones, though seemingly biased to those who she deemed more palatable. Your brother received a chunk of her money alongside her old ring, something the family gushed over due to the prospect of his long-term girlfriend who he could now finally pop the big question to. Your rolled your eyes as they pandered over him, all blatantly dismissive of the old bible you’d been left, with your grandmother’s handwriting inside with a note of how she wished for it to be read out of at your wedding when you finally found yourself a suitable husband. You had simply rolled your eyes and shoved it to the bottom of your bag.
All that being said, it was a huge relief to you when you finally made your way back to the airport. Though you’d had to spend the journey constantly criticized by your mother about your uni work, as soon as you stepped on to the plane, relief was flooding over your shoulders. As the sky came to fill the widow, clouds passing by, you were more than grateful to be heading back to the true place you thought of as home.
Kate came to pick you up from the airport, hugging you immediately and beginning to rant about the idiots she’d encountered in the car park as she pulled your case towards the exit. The pair of you went straight to a mcdonald’s drive thru, your hunger unquenched from the bad aeroplane food you’d been offered. Fries and hamburgers were shared in the front seat of the car as you relayed back your awful week to Kate, telling her everything that you hadn’t even had the chance to text her due to your family’s never-ending nagging.
That weekend was very stressful. Due to the packed schedule you had followed back in England, you’d had next to no time to complete any of your work from that week. So, from morning until night, you cooped yourself up at your desk and ground it all out. At times, Kate had to drag you down to the hall for some food or persistently remind you to even go to bathroom. In the end however, you managed to get it all finished. By eleven o’clock Sunday night, you were finally all caught up from your missed classes and had completed all your deadlines. The light in the room were low, only your small desk lamp lighting up the space. Kate slept in her bed, hair fanning out across the pillows. You were quiet as you cleaned your space, eyeing the untouched plate of food Kate had brought up for you after you’d refused to go down for dinner. It was long cold now and you felt a little guilty throwing it out, but you were far too tired now to think about eating. Instead, you simply turned off the light and slid yourself into your bed, finally letting your mind rest and prepare itself to return to your regularly scheduled classes the next morning.
———
"Alright everyone, that's all for today's lesson. Are there any questions?"
Like always, the bustle began began your professor could even finish his sentence. Everyone was already packing away their things, drowning out the teacher's voice with their own hustle to leave. It happened almost every class, and almost every time you felt bad, one of the only people who remained still until they had officially dismissed you. But today, you found yourself following the crowd more than you usually would have. See, your professor had droned on a bit too long that afternoon, moving into the passing period you had between classes. Most times that wouldn't have been a big deal seeing as it was your last class of the day, but today was the day you were supposed to meet Professor Romanoff and thanks to your English professor's extensive elaborations, you were left with only a few minutes until you'd be late. So today you put your cares aside and as the class packed up, so did you, stuffing everything into your backpack and throwing it over your shoulder before joining the crowd exiting the lecture hall.
Your English building was on the exact opposite side of campus as your destination, so your feet held a quick pace as you flitted between the crowds of students on your way. Pathways were held up by casually conversing people, all relaxed now their days were over. They all annoyed you severely as they slowed down your journey, obviously uncaring that you still had places to be. By the time you had reached the building in which your Russian class was held, the clock was already a few minutes passed the scheduled time. You almost burst in through the doors of the hall, ever so slightly out of breath from your fast paced journey across campus. As soon as you entered the room, you spied the redheaded professor sat at her desk, head buried into her laptop. She looked up to you as you walked across the floor, nervously adjusting the backpack straps on your shoulders. "Hi," you breathed out, trying your best to seem casual despite your racing lungs. "I'm sorry I'm a little late. My last lecture ran over a little."
A pair of perfectly white teeth smiled back in your direction, Professor Romanoff looking you over. "Y/N," she said, her gentle voice falling upon your ears. Something about it in that moment made you realize you had almost missed it over your break, but the rational part of your brain soon took over and told you you were being ridiculous. "Don't worry about being late, you're barely two minutes over." She smiled again as you closed the final distance between you, moving to stand by the edge of her desk. She stood as you did, displaying today a pair of grey slacks and a soft black jumper, all adorned with delicate gold jewelry. Her smiling face looked down at you, that forgotten odd feeling of warmth spreading through your gut. "It's good to see you again. How are you? How was your trip?"
You ignored the sensation in your stomach as you smiled back at her. "I'm good. The trip was fine. A little boring but fine." There were many worse words to describe your trip than ‘boring' but you decide to settle for that, not wanting to bother your professor with the complicated details of your family and more so, simply wanting to leave the entire week in the past and not think of it again.
“That’s good,” Professor Romanoff replied with that same easy smile. “I’m glad to hear you’re alright.” Her hands lifted from the pockets they hid in, reaching out to open a drawer of her desk. You wondered for a moment what she might be looking for before she pulled out a small stack of papers, extending them out towards you. “These are some extra notes from last week’s lectures.”
You smiled, slightly surprised. “Oh, thank you.” Most of your university work could be found online for both absence and revision purposes, but it never was quite the same as attending the classes themselves. Usually you hated using just the online notes to catch up, never grasping the material as well as you’d like, but this weekend you’d had to make do. That was, of course, until Professor Romanoff handed you the extra notes. “That’s very kind of you.”
“Well,” your professor replied. “I wouldn’t want my best student falling behind, would I?”
Her words worked to form that warm sensation across your cheeks, the given title heating up your insides with flustering pride. You were grateful the woman had started to busy herself at her desk with something else as you tried to brush off her compliments as smoothly as possible, attempting to hide the flush of your skin.
“You can grab a chair from the side. Bring it over.”
You nodded, almost snapping back to reality once more with Professor Romanoff’s words. You placed your backpack down beside her desk, quickly slotting the extra notes into the large pocket before moving to grab a spare chair from the edge of the room. When you returned, your professor had seemingly found what she was searching for, a large stack of papers now sat in the centre of the desk.
“Sit,” Romanoff beckons with a smile, gesturing her hand towards the front of her desk. You pull up your chair, positioning yourself across from her own seated position. “These are tests I need marked. They’re all multiple choice and there’s a marking scheme.” The redhead lifted a single piece of paper, handing it over your way. “So you’ll just have to see if the letters match up on both papers. That sound okay?”
You nodded once more, her instructions seeming simple enough. “Yeah, sounds fine.”
“Great.” With a smile, Professor Romanoff slid the pile of unmarked papers across the desk towards you. She explained that if you needed any help, just to ask, and that she’d just be busying herself on her laptop. You nodded again, reaching into your backpack quickly for a pen before you began to work away.
It was an easy job really, simply matching the circled letters on the quiz papers to that of the marking scheme. In truth, it was almost relaxing to have something to do that didn’t require much brain power. Professor Romanoff sat across from you, typing away on her laptop. Occasionally, you’d look up to take a glance at her, catching moments of concentration or boredom on her face, but your eyes would never linger long, too scared of getting caught looking her way. She’d turned on the radio to fill a bit of the silence, music humming softly from a black stereo on the edge of the desk. All in all, the endeavour was a blessing in disguise - much simpler and easier than the effort the equivalent assignment would have took.
“You getting on alright, milaya?”
The voice brought you from the almost trance you’d put yourself in as you marked the set of papers. Your head rose from them, more than half the stack already complete as you smiled back at your professor. “Yeah, all good.”
She nodded, smiling at you with her perpetually perfect red lips. Under her gaze, you felt your eyes drop back to the papers, for some reason feeling entirely too see every time she looked your way. She went to turn back towards her laptop, your hand reaching out to continue marking, but a lingering question had been vibrating in your head. You had been too afraid to ask before, to be the one to break the soft silence of the room, but now was your opportunity. “Are these law papers?”
Professor Romanoff looked back at you, her expression soft. “Yes,” she said, simply. “I also teach a beginners law class alongside my usual Russian.”
You felt your eyebrows raise, unexpecting of her answer but also rather impressed. Now it made sense why the papers you were marking were not at all taking about Russian vocabulary but instead legal terminology.
“I studied a law major at college,” the red haired woman continued. “It was going to be my career until I decided to teach instead.”
“Huh,” you hummed, interested by the new information you were discovering about your teacher. “Why’d you decide to switch?”
Romanoff shrugged a shoulder. “Honestly, I love teaching.” A small smirk then appeared on her lips as she leaned in closer across the table. “Besides, my wife is a lawyer and just between me and you, I’m not sure I’d like her as my boss. She can be a little scary sometimes.”
There was a playfulness to her tone that you easily pick up on, the entire interaction meant as a jest, but somehow it left you with a strange feeling in your chest. You listened to your professor’s words, but your mind seemed to stick on one. Wife. In that moment, you suddenly realised you hadn’t pictured her being married - not that you had pictured her at all, your mind chided in defence. Now you quickly realised that she was indeed with another person, and not just that, but with a woman. Suddenly you had to push your mother’s berating thoughts from your head.
“So what about you?”
“Sorry?” you replied, mind crashing back to the present moment. Professor Romanoff looked back at you with an almost playful looking smirk. It only added to that strange feeling inside your chest.
“What’s your major?” the redhead elaborated.
“Oh.” You sat up straighter, trying to adjust your jumper in an effort to conceal the fact you’d gotten lost in your thoughts once more. “I’m an English major.” Romanoff raised a brow, the smirk on her face widening to almost a smile. You sighed softly, throwing your head to the side. “You can make the joke if you want, everyone does.”
An English girl studying English. You’d heard almost every variation of the joke, mostly from drunk boys at frat parties that thought they were the pinnacle of humour. Shouldn’t you already be an expert at that? Wait, they don’t teach you English in England?
You were expecting some similar turn of phrase to escape your professors lips, following in the footsteps of everyone you’d had this conversation with before. But to your surprise, she simply shook her head, frowning ever so slightly. “I think I’ll refrain,” she said, frown turning into the same wide smirk. “I hate being unoriginal.”
A laugh bubbled up in your throat, pushing out through a smile and into the air. Your professor followed, chuckling with you. After a moment, she stilled, looking back at you curiously. “So, tell me,” she said, leaning in closer to the desk. “What does bring you all the way to America to study?”
Because I can’t stand being at home with my parents. “Experience, I guess,” you said with a shrug, hiding away the truth behind a smile. “And I got a full scholarship when I applied so…” Your words died down, not quite sure how to finish your explanation.
Thankfully, your professor seemed to pick up the conversation easily. “A very smart girl, hm?” Her lips met as she hummed and it seemed you could feel the vibrations running down your spine. Your eyes fell back to your lap, trying to hide the awkward smile her praise had brought. You were unsure of what exactly you should do, contemplating if her question was rhetoric or not, and praying the former due to your inability to think of a response. Blessedly, Professor Romanoff cut through your mind’s distress with another question. “You’re in fourth year, right?”
Your eyes picked back up, meeting hers. “Yeah.”
She smiled, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared back at you intently. “And what exactly lead a fourth year English student to my beginner’s Russian class?”
You were getting a little bit of deja vu of the conversation you’d had with Kate multiple times. This time, you settled on the short answer. “I thought it sounded interesting,” you said simply, smiling as you shrugged your shoulders.
Professor Romanoff seemed amused by your answer. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.”
You felt yourself smiling back in response. So am I, your brain mused, but your consciousness refused to let anything move past your lips. Instead, Romanoff was picking up the conversation once again. “What’s your plans for after?”
Your eyebrows raised, suddenly surprised by her question. “Sorry?”
The redhead chuckled. “Once you graduate, sweetheart,” she said, voice sounding slightly amused. “What do you plan to do with the rest of your life?”
“Oh right,” you fumbled. You felt a little stupid for thinking she ever meant anything other than that. “My, uh…my mum wants me to go to law school actually…”
A red brow raised in your direction. “Oh yeah?”
You nodded, reminiscent of your previous chatter with your professor. A funny little coincidence that you two may be following a similar path. Although in that moment, you couldn’t help but be a little jealous. She had eventually fallen away from law, moving to a career she was truly passionate for. You were unsure if you’d ever get that opportunity. It had taken months just to convince your mother to let you major in English, claiming it was good for getting into law school after college. And after three years, you still hadn’t been able to convince her away from that same dream of hers, now unsure if you ever would.
“And what to do you want to do?”
“What?” Your professor’s words took you by surprise. When you looked up, it felt as if her eyes had seen straight through you, like she’d been able to hear your every thought.
“Your mother wants you to go to law school,” Professor Romanoff reiterated. “What do you want to do after you graduate?”
Your voice was unsteady in your response. “Go to law school?”
Professor Romanoff raised a brow as she angled her head. “Are you asking me?” All you could muster was a shrug, feeling suddenly very small in the large hall. You didn’t much like talking about what you wanted to do in your life, haven forgone the gesture years ago due to your mother’s constant coercion. But then your professor leaned in slightly, a small smile crossing her lips. “You can tell me the truth, sweetheart,” she said. “I’m very good at keeping secrets.”
The endearment fell on your already blushed cheeks. Most times you wouldn’t have said anything at all, hidden behind the lies your mother had constructed about your person, but something about the redhead’s smile almost drew the words directly from your mouth. “I guess if I could do anything, I’d be a writer,” you said, playing at the sleeves of your sweater.
“A writer?” Romanoff repeated, raising a pair of curious brows.
You felt yourself nodding as a small smile crept on to your lips. “Yeah. I love books and writing, and I guess it’s what I’ve wanted to do ever since I was a little girl.”
“Why don’t you do it then?”
Her words came as a shock, your system unsure of how exactly to respond. You shrank back under the redhead’s gaze, reminded of the words you’d been told so many times they were engraved into your mind. “It’ll be good for me to go to law school. My mum says I’ll get a better job.”
“Maybe…” Professor Romanoff hummed. Then her expression changed to something you couldn’t quite understand as she leaned in closer, her emerald eyes trained on your face. “But do you know what my birth mother used to say about me? She used to tell me I was useless little piece of shit that wouldn’t get anywhere in life.” Your eyebrows raised slightly in shock as you heard her words, especially on the fact she’d cursed so easily and how oddly good it sounded coming from her lips. Then her expression shifted again, an almost smugness taking over that drew your attention away from your own thoughts. “Thirty years later I’m a professor at one of the most prestigious universities in America. I’m married to a very successful lawyer, and living quite frankly an amazing life with a pair of adoptive parents who love me very much.”
Professor Romanoff finished with a small smirk, seemingly unaware of how her words settled on your shoulders. The entire statement was so weighted, so much shared about her as a person in so few words. Something in you felt slightly honoured that she could be that vulnerable around you, or perhaps her story wasn’t one she kept bundled up in her chest like you did, like a weighted lock on your heart. Still, you felt a sense of solace in learning more about your professor, a sense of trust being built in up inside. Her smiling eyes met yours as she leaned in even further on the desk. “Don’t let people who don’t know the real you keep you from what you want. We only get one life, Y/N. Don’t waste it trying to be someone you’re not.”
Her words settled in your stomach with an odd sensation. Her reassurance felt like another brick added to that wall of trust, perhaps her intention to try and learn more of your story. But maybe that trust wasn’t quite strong enough yet.
You shied away, unwilling to share more of your story despite how open Romanoff had seemed, years of criticisms sitting heavy on your shoulders. “Maybe,” you said lowly, picking up your pen once again. But you knew you’d never truly be able to follow through with what she was proposing you should, knew your future fate was already sealed by the woman who’d brought you into this world. She’d have a perfect daughter with her perfect career and wouldn’t settle for less, no matter how it made you feel. For now, all Professor Romanoff’s words could provide was a little fuel to that already dying fire of a dream inside your heart.
The pair of you quickly fell back into the steady silence of your work after your conversation, you pen dotting over papers as your professor turned back to her laptop. The radio played quietly in the background as you tried to push whatever words lingered in your head, both from your mother and the redhead in front of you, too many feeling provoked from the subject to allow you to focus properly. Dispelling them from your mind, you trained your eyes on the marking schemes in front of you, though having some of the answers memorised by now, and continued to work away at the stack of tests on the desk.
Time passed quickly once more, your speed increasing as the papers became more familiar in your hands, easily noticing the same mistakes made over and over. Occasionally you heard Romanoff begin to hum along to a song on the radio, focusing momentarily on her soft voice before refocusing on your work. In your mind, you became determined to finish them as quickly as you could, absentmindedly hoping to impress the woman they were for.
You were almost finished your task, down to the very last paper when a shrill sound cut through the soft atmosphere of the room. Both you and your professor’s heads shot up from your work, eyes turning to your backpack from where the loud ringtone emanated. Shit, you thought, obviously accidentally turning on the ringer that you always kept silenced.
“I’m sorry,” you said, glancing over at your professor in slight fear of her reprimand. But in return, you were only met with a soft smile.
“Don’t worry, milaya,” Romanoff replied gently. “This isn’t class time. You can answer your phone.”
Relieved by her answer, you let out a soft sigh. Reaching over, you began to dig through your bag to find your mobile, the nonsensical tune still ringing out. With no suprise, when you found it, Kate’s name and profile picture covered your screen. Quietly, you apologised again before accepting the call, slightly turning away in your chair as you held your phone to your ear.
“Hello?”
“Y/N!” Kate’s voice replied back from the other end of the device. She sounded slightly off but you couldn’t quite tell why.
“Are you okay? What’s up?”
A small sigh sounded in your ear. “Okay, please don’t get mad at me again but-“
You were replying with a sigh of your own before Kate could even finish her sentence. “You forgot your key again, didn’t you?”
“I’m so sorry,” the girl on the end of the other phone pleaded.
You sighed again, shaking your head. “Kate, how many times-“
“I know! I know,” she cut off. “I’m the worst person ever. But I slept in this morning and just forgot to put it in my bag. I’m sorry.”
Your sigh turned less frustrated. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” At your core you weren’t a confrontational person. You could never stay mad at anyone for long, especially Kate.
“Well, I came back to the room and you’re not here,” your best friend continued through the phone. “I thought you were finished english at three?”
“I am,” you replied. “But I’m helping out Professor Romanoff, remember? I’m in her class right now.”
You could hear Kate’s realisation through the call. “Shit. I am so sorry.” There was a pause. You could picture Kate dancing on the heels of her feet, the same way she did every time she needed to ask you a favour. “Uhm, could I possibly swing by and pick up your key then? Please Y/N, I really need to finish my computing assignment. It’s due at five.”
If there was anyone who would leave their work until one hour before the deadline, it was Kate. Another soft sigh escaped your lips. “Fine.”
Kate’s smile could practically be heard through the phone. “Thank you! What room are you in?”
“Language building, room ML4.”
“Okay,” Kate replied. “I’ll be right there. You’re the best, I love you.”
You couldn’t help but smile a little as you responded. “Love you too.”
With that, Kate hung up the call. You pulled your phone away from your ear, switching it off and throwing it in your pocket as you turned back in your chair. “I’m so sorry,” you began, facing back to your professor. “It’s my roommate, Kate. She’s locked herself out again.”
Romanoff raised a curious glance. “Again?”
“Bad habit.” You smiled back sheepishly, shrugging your shoulder. “She’s just going to stop by and pick up my key, if that’s alright?”
The redhead smiled back at you. “Of course. That’s perfectly fine.” A small sigh of relief escaped your lips, glad that the encounter wouldn’t be a problem. “But I think we’re actually almost done here,” Romanoff continued. “How are you getting on with those papers.”
“Oh, yeah,” you replied, pulling yourself back towards the desk and the stack of papers sat atop of it. “I’m actually just on the last one.”
“Well if you just finish that up, you can run along with your friend when she gets here.”
“You’re sure?” you replied, looking up. You didn’t want Kate’s endeavour to disrupt any of the help your professor needed. But the redhead simply nodded in response.
“I’m sure, Y/N.”
“Okay then,” you responded, nodding your head softly. A small smile was passed between the two of you before you were grabbing your pen once more, reaching out to finish marking the final test in the stack. Your hand moved quickly as you corrected any of the mistakes, flicking through the sheets of paper at an impressive rate. It was just as you were marking the last question that the noise of the hall doors opening drew your attention.
Clamouring in, Kate appeared inside the hall, her backpack momentarily getting caught on the handle before she was able to free herself. She stood sheepishly inside the room, looking across the way and spying you and your professor sat at the desk. “Uhm, hello,” the girl announced. You could tell she was trying to play it cool but she had that same almost awkward look she got whenever a girl she liked try to talk to her. “I’m, uh, Kate Bishop. Y/N’s roommate.” Her finger pointed to you, as if trying to prove she hadn’t barged in for no apparent reason.
Professor Romanoff had stood from her desk as Kate had entered, her hands finding a place resting inside her pockets. Now, she smiled across at her. “Yeah, she mentioned.”
Kate gave that awkward little laugh of hers and you had to refrain from not giggling at her yourself. “Sorry to just barge in on you guys. Are you still…” Her hands gestured towards you and the desk, trying to gage where you were with the work.
But Romanoff simply shook her head in response with a short smile. “No worries, Miss Bishop. We were just finishing up.”
Kate’s eyebrows raised. “Great,” she replied, sticking one of her thumbs up.
You had to stifle your laughs at her awkwardness. Was this how she interacted with all of her professors, or just the ones she didn’t know? As you hid your smile, you tidied up the stack of papers on the desk, piling them up neatly before rising to your feet. “Okay, Miss Romanoff,” you said, slightly pushing them in her direction. “Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do for you?”
The woman turned back to you with her gentle smile, her voice soft. “That’ll be all for today, Y/N.”
“Okay,” you replied, adjusting your jumper as you reached down for your backpack, throwing it over one shoulder. “Well, thank you again for this.”
Romanoff smiled. “No, thank you. I’d be drowning in work without your helpful hands.” A smirk seemed to form on her lips as she sent an emerald wink your way.
The action left you suddenly stuttering for the right words, embarrassingly affected by such a simple action. “Right,” you finally managed, voice jumbled. “I’ll uh- see you on Wednesday?”
Thankfully Professor Romanoff didn’t seem too bothered by your flustering state, if anything you might have said she even looked amused. “I’ll see you in class, Y/N,” she said, smiling down at you.
You returned the gesture as you turned away, walking to close the distance between where you and Kate stood. As you met the raven-haired girl’s side, a voice called out to the both of you. “Have a nice night, ladies.”
You turned briefly to Romanoff, smiling as you and Kate hummed a thanks in unison. As you passed through the doors to the hall and exited into the corridor, you felt your shoulders loosen ever so slightly, that perfect emerald stare still lingering in your mind. You couldn’t quite understand why you left that class always feeling so worked up.
This time, however, there was little space for you to think about it, as merely a few steps down the hallway, Kate was grabbing hold of your upper arm. “Holy shit, that’s your Russian professor?”
You turned quickly to your best friend, both startled and shocked by her sudden comment. “What? Yeah?”
Kate breathed out a laugh. “Y/N, you never told me she was hot as shit.”
“What?” you stuttered, taken about by Kate’s choice of words. “She’s not- I mean -I-I never noticed.”
The girls hand shook your arm slightly as the pair of you continued to walk. “Never noticed? Y/N, you must be blind because that was one of the most attractive women I’ve ever seen.”
The words come as a bit of shock, not expecting Kate to think so highly of the woman you’d been spending the last weeks of lessons with. The raven-haired girl began to mumble on about how she should have taken Russian and how it was unfair how she always got the old, ugly professors. But in all honeslty you weren’t paying her much mind, instead focusing on the words that had spilled from Kate’s mouth previously. Sure, Professor Romanoff was a nice-looking woman, you’d noticed that the first time she’d walked into the room, but that didn’t mean you should be attracted to her. That was wrong, she was your teacher, she was married for god’s sake. You shouldn’t be thinking about her in that way. You weren’t thinking about her in that way. Sure, she made you blush every time she spoke to you, and her stare made a strange warmth pool in your stomach, but that didn’t mean you found her attractive. Right?
———
Term continued on with its usual snowballing effect. The next couple of weeks began to fill up with more and more work as you progressed further into the year. You and Kate spent many of your time outside of lessons bundled up in the library, spending hours revising for your upcoming midterms. The pair of you were also beginning to write your final dissertations, the main project that would lead to your graduation at the end of the year. You'd had your topic picked for months and had already started your research over the Summer, which left you room to help Kate find something she could write about, having struggled finding a topic she didn't find extremely boring.
Your usual meal time chatter turned away from mindless gossip and instead to lesson content, both of you complaining about how many assignments you had due. The carefree start of term was officially gone and the usual endless list of deadlines had crept back up on you just like it always did. Luckily for you, you'd managed to maintain the rigidness towards studying you'd possessed since doing your exams in secondary school. You could maintain focus for hours, staring at your laptop or notes until everything was photocopied into your mind. Sure, it sometimes meant you'd miss a meal or a few hours of sleep, but it was all worth it for the perfect grade you were determined to achieve in the end.
Your sessions with Professor Romanoff continued on over the next couple of weeks too, still just an hour after your final class on a Monday. You'd offered her more help if she'd needed it but the redhead had politely refused, claiming she didn't want you wasting your time when you had exams to study for. In fact, she told you that she'd only require your help for a few more weeks, just up until the midterm, then you were free to go with that easy 'A' tucked into your pocket. Surprisingly, when you heard the news, you found yourself feeling slightly saddened. Over the time you'd spent with Professor Romanoff, you'd rather enjoyed yourself. It wasn't that the work was particularly exhilarating or you two ever did much other than look at papers, but the small moments you'd been able to find in between had been rather pleasant. Whether it was the soft lull of the radio music that you both would hum along to, or the small conversations she'd have with you about your home or your studies, the time you spent with the redhead somehow always left you with a warmth in the pit of your stomach.
One particular rainy Monday afternoon, the pair of you were comfortably sat at her desk in your usual positions, your chair across the way from hers. As she often did, Romanoff typed away on her laptop, while you sat stapling together test papers for her advanced Russian class, having previously just photocopied the stack. The paper was still warm against your skin as you organised them into the correct order, the feeling almost soothing you into a trance-like state. You hadn't even noticed it at all until it was suddenly shattered by a soft sound echoing through the room.
Your head picked up, readjusting itself to the real world before turning to the right where the sound emanated from. The sight that befell upon you caused your brows to raise ever so slightly in surprise. As the door to the lecture hall swung closed, a tall, unfamiliar, but smartly-dressed woman entered through them. Her heels clicked confidently across the floor, eyes trained on your professor who sat at the desk. You watched as the redhead stood when the woman reached her, smiling softly. "Detka, hi." Romanoff placed a small kiss on the woman's cheek as they hugged briefly.
"I tried to call but it went straight to voicemail," the other woman replied. She stood a few inches taller than Professor Romanoff, her hair a lighter shade of red straightened almost perfectly down her back. She wore a deep copper suit with a crisp white shirt, a designer handbag thrown over one shoulder. In all honesty, you couldn't tell if she'd came straight from work or a catwalk. When her body turned to stand side by side with your professor, you noticed her eyes shimmered down at you with a soft olive green. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise you would still have company."
At that, you noticed Professor Romanoff turn towards you, as if she had just remembered you were there. She smiled as she gestured to the taller woman. "Y/N, this is my wife, Wanda."
Right, wife. The idea she'd slipped a few weeks ago had almost left your mind entirely. Now that said woman was standing directly in front of you, looking down with an expression you couldn't quite read. "So you're the star pupil my wife has been telling me about, hm?"
Her voice was playful when she spoke, but at the same time low and almost sultry. Everything about it, including her words, left you stuttering over what to say. Had Professor Romanoff really been speaking about you to her wife?
"This is she," the redhead replied, covering for your inability to form a full sentence. She looked back at you with that same easy-going smile that seemed to make you shift in your seat.
Wanda passed you a similar expression as she inclined her head towards you, smirking just slightly. "Well then, it's a pleasure to meet you."
Thankfully, in that moment, your ability to speak seemed to return. "It's nice to meet you too, miss."
A small chuckle escaped the older woman's lips as you spoke. She glanced at Natasha, the pair sharing a look you couldn't interpret, before her sparkling eyes were back on you. "Oh please, honey. You can just call me Wanda." Just then you realised it wasn't only your professor's use of nicknames that seemed to send a shiver down your spine, Wanda's words setting your nerves on edge as you felt the heat flush to your cheeks. You looked down to your lap in an attempt to hide it, not wanting either woman to see your embarrassed state. From the corner of your eye, however, you saw Wanda wasn't going to let you hide that easily. She sat herself on the edge of the desk, leaning in closer to you and the stack of papers close by. "Working hard, are we?"
You looked back up to meet her eye, the action seemingly stripping away your speech once more. Thankfully, your professor stood up to answer for you. "Just getting some papers organised for my lesson tomorrow," she said, sitting herself down at her chair once more. Her eyes met her wife's. "Sorry, I didn't realise we'd run so late." Just then, you assumed why Wanda had shown up so unnanounced. Professor Romanoff had mentioned in passing that her wife would sometimes meet her after work, meaning that your sessions couldn't run any later even if she did need the extra help you offered.
"No, need to apologise," Wanda replied with an easy smile. "I don't mind sticking around while you guys finish up. Especially when your little assistant is so cute." Her eyes turned to you, a smirk playing on her lips. The entire action seemed to freeze you in place, entirely unsure of what to say or do.
"Cat gets her tongue sometimes."
Your eyes flicked to your professor as she spoke, a very similar smirk appearing on her face to match her wife sitting next to her. The taller redhead hummed lowly at her comment, her gaze tracing over you. Sat in that chair, you felt entirely too seen. Your eyes darted around, unsure of where exactly to look while the pair of older women watched you. If there was something you were supposed to say, you mind could not conjure it. In that moment all you could do was sit awkwardly as two pairs of green eyes traced your every movement.
But then, a familiar tune rang out to your rescue. When before you'd cursed your forgetfulness to turn off your ringer, now you silently thanked yourself. Your eyes rushed to your backpack, then quickly back to your professor and her wife. "I'm sorry," you stuttered out. "Could I?"
"Go on, milaya."
You tried your best to ignore your professor's comment as you reached into your backpack for your phone, quickly holding it up to your ear. To no surprise, it was a familiar voice singing a familiar tune. Still, you found the situation grateful for its diversion from the stalemate conversation you'd been stuck in beforehand. As you hung up the call a minute later, you turned back to the desk with a sheepish smile. "It's Kate, she's locked herself out again."
Professor Romanoff raised a perfect brow. "That really is a bad habit of hers, hm?"
You fought back a small chuckle at her words, surprised she even remembered you'd said that. "Yeah," you smiled back, then dropped it into a small frown. "I am so sorry-"
Before you could even finish your sentence, the redhead was holding up her hand to stop you. "Don't worry about it, milaya. You can run along. I'll catch you in class on Wednesday."
Your eyebrows raised, not wanting to be an inconvenience to her yet again. "You're sure? I can easily-"
"I said it's fine, Y/N," Romanoff reiterated, her voice coming out more stern. It wasn't quite angry, just firm, but it was enough to shut your mouth right up. You looked back, eyes wide, afraid that you'd annoyed her by leaving early twice due to your roommates negligence. But at your response, the redhead simply smiled down softly at you angling her head towards the door. "Go on. I can handle the rest."
You found your head nodding almost on its own accord, directed by not only your professor's watchful eye but now that of her wife's too. Your words came out little and few, a mumbled thank you and another apology spilling from your lips as you packed up your bag and threw it over your shoulders. One last reassurance and smile sent you walking out the door, headed back to your dorm where Kate would be waiting for you. As you went, you were hyper aware of the two sets of eyes trained on your back, picturing the two redheaded woman still sitting at the desk watching you walk away. What you weren't exactly aware of was how their gaze dropped even lower, both staring at the short black skirt you'd decided to wear that day, watching how the material grazed lightly against the back of your tight-covered thighs. When you exited out the door, you couldn't see the way the taller redhead turned back to her wife, looking down at her from where she still sat on the desk, a wide smirk appearing on her face as she bit into a perfectly painted lip. You couldn't see the way the pair looked at each other, leaning closer in, nor hear the words Wanda uttered back to her wife before their lips met in a kiss.
"You're right, she is cute. Let's keep her."
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norris55s · 9 days
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the summer i turned pretty - charles leclerc & arthur leclerc
a reader x charles leclerc/arthur leclerc love triangle
warnings: intoxicated (but consensual) kissing
a/n: trying out a written piece/smau/texts weird hybrid but it was all i could come up with to get this idea across! i hope you all like it <3 (there will be a part 2)
also this was requested!! i'm so sorry anon i lost the ask but i hope u see it and like it anyways
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Day 1
France is a place that isn’t easy to forget, but having lived there your whole life made it seem ordinary. The country that saw me grow up, and that I was glad to call home, failed to impress me every day because I was used to it. The beautiful architecture, history, and tourist attractions weren’t as beautiful to me anymore; it was my day-to-day life.
That wasn’t true for the beach house in Nice. It wasn’t mine, or my family’s, but that place never failed to impress me, even if it was my day-to-day life every summer. The Leclerc summer home was my favorite place on Earth. From its blue and white facade, the soft beige interiors, the pool and beach view, the big dining room, and the incredible company, there’s no place I’d rather be in right now.
“Y/N L/N, you have arrived!” Charles Leclerc, the ultimate reason for this place’s beauty, yelled out to me.
“Charles Leclerc, I have arrived!” I replied blushing, and opening my arms into an embrace. As every time I hugged him, my body relaxed and tensed somehow at the same time, safe and nervous, loved and not loved back. But aren’t all childhood crushes like that?
“I’ve also arrived, pote. If you even care,” my wonderfully annoying older brother, Alexandre, interjected. Charles let me go to greet my brother, and I turned to find the youngest Leclerc, Arthur, on his way to hug me hello.
“Hi, chérie,” he said with a smile on his face, ruffling my hair affectionately.
“Hi, Arthur. Up to no good once again?”
“I’m always up to all good!”
Pascale Leclerc, the boys’ mother, greeted me with cheeks kisses and pinches. Everyone then swarmed my mom, Alice. Sometimes I think my friends love her more than they love me, but that was deserved.
As every year before, everyone finally felt at home. And as every year before, the inaugural pool party started.
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“Y/N L/N, will you do me the honor of joining me at the pool?” Charles exaggeratedly held out his hand, as if we were Royals in a ball. Antics that I was happy to oblige with. Too happy for my dignity to recover. 
As we made our way inside, and swam a couple laps playing around on who is faster, we wound up floating peacefully on a corner with the sun beginning to set. 
“I missed you,” Charles said out of nowhere, making my heart do a somersault. 
“I miss you too,” I managed to reply, feeling the blush on my cheeks. 
“I want to hear from you more often. I know I’m busy with racing, but I always can make time for you Y/N.”
The thing about unrequited love is any show of affection feels like a marriage proposal. But of course I could not deny his request. He was, above all else, one of my best friends and one that I needed to be there for. 
Hervé Leclerc passed away the year before, a couple months after the summer vacation. We didn’t know it would be the last time we spent with him, and I was worried about what this year’s vacation would be like with the boys’ father missing. 
“I’m always here for you,” I vowed and he gave me a quick, chaste kiss on my forehead. To make sure I wouldn’t forget my promise. 
As I looked at Charles’ glistening face against the darkening sun, I realized we would be okay. 
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Day 2
“Chérie,” was the first voice I heard as I woke up, with Arthur knocking on my door for show and letting himself in.
“Too early,” I whined back and hid under the covers, to have them ripped from me by the guy in my room.
“It’s time for the sunrise beach walk,” he replied and I knew he was right, so I let myself be dragged outside the house. I couldn’t say no, since the sunrise walk at least once during the vacation is also a tradition between Arthur and I.
It was also worth it; we silently agreed for that to be time to catch up, be honest, and be vulnerable ever since we began taking the walks. This one would be particularly hard too.
“I really, really miss my dad,” he said, putting his arm around my shoulders to walk side by side.
I didn’t know how to handle Hervé’s death with the boys. 
Enzo was older than me, even beyond his years, and there was nothing I could say that would be wiser, or better than what he had to say.
Arthur was quiet and reasonable, way more accepting of inevitables than me, more useful to himself than me.
Charles was passionate but closed, a master at compartmentalization, never letting me in even if I’d like to.
But Arthur, ever my closest friend, still needed my support.
“I know you do,” I replied softly and squeezed his hand. “It’s only normal, and I’m sorry you’ve been dealt these cards.”
Grief is a strange thing, but on the beach I hoped I let Arthur know that I would always be by his side, and that the sun will always rise again for him. With his steady breathing while leaning on me as we sat on the sand, I knew he understood.
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Day 3
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This was the third year Arthur and I were invited to parties that Alexandre and Charles went to. The promotion from little siblings to cool siblings opened up a new world in Nice. Especially one where I could ignore my schoolgirl crush on Charles through alcohol.
So I happily got ready, into a pink summer dress and into the car that would drive us all to an even bigger house filled with a bunch of privileged European kids ready to drink the night away.
The first drink came from Antoine, who sadly had a beautiful girl around his arms that indicated he wouldn’t be a good distraction. The second one came from Amelie, my Nice girlfriend, who was happy as ever to see me and catch up with me before she also found an arm candy and promptly left. The third one was on me, as I was forced to stare at Charles making out with a girl I learned was named Charlotte.
After that, I stopped counting and kept drinking, joining the dance floor to enjoy the numb feeling in my face, the new found careless attitude, and the music blasting in my ears.
Before I could process it, Arthur was in front of me, the blush on his face indicating he was also intoxicated. What started as a normal jumping around like one does at a party, progressed to a point where his hands were on my waist and my hands were on his neck.
I couldn’t even recognize the song anymore, too entranced on the way his eyes were on mine. There were no words, as was usual between him and I. We just knew.
I wouldn’t take the first step, but he would. Arthur’s lips met mine in a strong, messy kiss. I didn’t pull away. I did want it. And it wasn’t scary.
When we stopped to take a breath, I realized I wanted to kiss him again. As I was leaning in, taking the initiative myself now, another force pulled me away.
I walked by inertia, trying not to fall down in following who was leading me away from the crowd. When I looked up, I recognized it to be Charles.
I couldn’t breathe from the adrenaline of the kiss I just shared, but also from the touch of Charles’ hand on mine, even if it was to take me out of the party.
My reaction was all too slow, finally starting to protest.
“What are you doing? Let me go,” I defensively said, snatching my hand away from his. The butterflies didn’t leave anyways.
“You’re drunk, let’s go home,” Charles coldly replied and held my hand again on his way to the car.
“Why would I want to go home? I’m having fun,” I continued to protest and he continued to pay me no mind.
As he put me inside the vehicle, despite my clumsy attempts to fight it, and slammed the door, I continued to think about what this could possibly be about. Where was Charlotte? Where was Arthur? What was happening?
My head spun and he got in the driver’s seat, turning the ignition on.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“You’re drunk. You don’t kiss people when you’re drunk.”
“That makes no sense.”
“You don’t kiss people you haven’t kissed sober.”
“Its Arthur!”
“Exactly!”
The back and forth continued all the way to the house, my thoughts sobering up with every passing moment.
“If you don’t want me to be with your brother because you don’t think I’m good enough, that’s really not your choice,” I told him decisively, crossing my arms and pouting like a child throwing a tantrum.
That was the only explanation for what Charles just did. He didn’t think a Leclerc should be with someone like me, and was doing everything he could to prevent it.
When he started laughing, I wasn’t so convinced anymore.
“What’s so funny?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. I just made the biggest scene out of jealousy, and you’re saying I don’t think you’re good enough.”
Time froze and my mouth went dry. The confession made its way through my entire bloodstream, replacing the alcohol effects with pure shock. My head was spinning for entirely different reasons, and my brain couldn’t bring the words out. What would I even say?
I opened my mouth but nothing came out, and Charles put his face on his hands in frustration, before leaving the car. I still could only think what is happening?
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My dumbest TWST headcanons
Yuu: everyone has forgotten their name and preferred pronouns. No one is willing to ask after so long, hence everyone calling them 'prefect' all the time
Grim: he is the reason why no dorm has tried to get Yuu to transfer in. They simply do not want him and unfortunately they are a package deal
Riddle: cannot handle spice. He ate a bell pepper once and started sobbing incoherently. Bell peppers are notoriously non-spicy
Trey: has mom hands in that he can handle hot plates without even flinching because he has permanently ruined the nerve endings in his hands from all of the times he's handled hot baking trays without mitts
Cater: has only like 7 Magicam followers because, as fun as his tags are, they aren't great for the algorithm
Deuce: has been told "that's unfortunate" multiple times after introducing himself. Does not understand why. No one tell him.
Ace: the type to never wait for his food to finish cooling. He burns his tongue at least once a day. He will never learn. Nor will he ever actually taste anything he puts in his mouth. Uses this for bets ("bet you that I can eat *insert the most disgusting concoction ever*" "don't...")
Leona: the entire school has a group chat devoted to the most insane places they've found Leona sleeping. Nothing has managed to top the time someone spotted him curled up in a cauldron that the first years were about to use for Alchemy. (Ruggie has tried to bribe his way into this group chat multiple times but everyone is too scared of Leona to give it to him)
Ruggie: the type to dump trauma on you without realizing it's messed up. Jack asked him once "Where'd you get that" and pointed to a scar and Ruggie was like "oh yeah that's from the time a guy stabbed me" and Jack has never asked him anything since
Jack: complains constantly about how big his tail is because it keeps wagging and giving away his tsundere-ness. Wants a little tail he can stuff into his pant legs to hide it
Azul: his glasses are fake. He thinks they make him look intimidating
Jade: will make fun of people for yawning in front of him. ("Scandalous" "????") He refuses to explain
Floyd: bites people he likes. Moray eel bites can cause paralysis and even beyond that his teeth are wicked sharp. This has caused several misunderstandings in his life
Kalim: everyone know's he's coming because all of his jewelry clink against each other. Like a cat with a bell on its collar. There is a betting ring about whether Jamil planned for this or if it's just how Kalim is that has spread schoolwide
Jamil: has absolutely responded to Kalim saying "Treat spiders the way you want to be treated" with "Killed without hesitation". Unironically
Vil: has accidentally cursed his own food several times. Never anything serious, but you would think it was with the expression of utter horror on his face every time
Rook: is the one in class to deal with bugs. He will pull a hairband out of his pocket (saved for this very occasion, or in the horrible case that Vil's hair tie might snap) and snipe the bug out of midair
Epel: constantly tries to get away with breaking rules right under Vil's nose. Out of spite. He has yet to succeed, but insists he WILL. One day. He will not
Idia: has lamented sending his tablet to class several times because he can't play some of his favorite games when it's away. Does not seem to realize that he would not be able to play those games while in class anyways
Ortho: has programmed idle animations
Malleus: his horns constantly hit the top of doorways. The entire room will go very quiet when this happens because they're scared if they breathe they will laugh and they Can Not Laugh At Malleus Draconia
Lilia: upon finding out his true age, the first question he is always asked is how his cooking is seriously "like that"
Silver: will wake up, find a miscellaneous animal sleeping on him, and go back to sleep because he would rather die than wake up the poor thing
Sebek: banned from the school library. There is no librarian so it literally doesn't change anything there's no one to enforce it but he still won't go in on principle
Crowley: has submitted a tax form with simply the word "No" on it. Is not sure why it didn't work
Crewel: messed up a potion once in front of a class. Swore everyone to secrecy about it. It is the only secret that has not spread through the school
Trein: has been called by his cat's name more than once
Vargas: students are often late to things because "Coach Vargas is hunting students for sport again :( ughhhh"
Sam: will trip students he doesn't like over 'loose floorboards'
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hopeful-bat · 2 years
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im almost 80 percent certain that my pussy ass mother told my grandma to push stupid fucking weightloss scams on me. either that or my grandma is just Like That.
CAN MY FAMILY STOP ACTIVELY TRYING TO GET ME TO BE ANOREXIC!!!!!! IM SO FUCKING TIRED!!!!!
every day i have to remind myself that gaining weight is not something i care about, and yet im progressively loosing my appetite and can only eat in small intervals
its ESCPECIALLY rich coming from my grandma who is actively ignoring a diet the doctors gave to her… like ok bitch if u care so little about living then let me whip out my sure method of staying skinny (which is apparently the only thing this family wants from me) - CIGARETTES
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nevernonline · 4 months
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✧.* must love dogs; csc one shot.
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✧.* synopsis: after a breakup (three years ago) your friend finally attempts to get you back on the saddle by creating you a dating profile despite your protesting, hooking you up on dates with some of the eligible bachelors of their choice, none of which impressed you. until one day you met the boy with the dog.
part of my seventeen movie series.
paring: seungcheol x reader (y/n uses she/her pronouns.)
genre/s: fluff, strangers2lovers
warning/s: alcohol mentions, swearing, cigarette mentions, swearing, some pg-13 jokes.
word count: 3.7k
note: im notorious atp for not editing, pls. I hope you enjoy my lil must love dogs inspired fic, its one of my fav movies!! xo.
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“So how was bachelor number five?” 
With a roll of your eyes, you gazed at your friend Seungkwan resting his feet on top of your shared glass coffee table, ticking the tip of the city guide book and magazines rested on top. 
“Boring. He was nice or whatever, good looking, but he wouldn’t shut up about league of legends and his job. Other than that he asked me no questions about myself or what I do. A failure as most would call it.” 
“So I take it you wouldn’t want to go out with him again?” 
“God, whatever gave you that impression? I thought you could tell we were headed for marriage?” 
“Hey. I’m doing you a very nice thing, you don’t have to be so sarcastic about it.” 
“Look, I know. But just because Jun is getting married and I still haven’t moved on doesn’t mean I need to be dating all of the sudden.” 
The boy patted the seat next to him. Scooching over from his spot, making room for you on the couch. 
“ It’s been nearly three years since you ended it with him. At least fuck someone before you dry up.” 
“That’s fucking gross and what vibrators are for.” 
A small scream left your friend's mouth as he covered his ears trying to remove what he had just heard coming out of your mouth. 
“Y/n his wedding is in two months, we need to find someone to bring that’s not me. You don’t want to feel the embarrassment of his pity party and everyone feeling sorry for you.” 
“Why can’t you just be my date?” 
“Too obvious. Plus your whole family will be there, just do it or you know your parents will be in your case again. This ‘ secret man’ you’ve been seeing doesn’t exist and I think your Mom is starting to catch on.” 
He was right. Your parents come from a high status, as do your ex boyfriends, they were the reason you both had met and became friends in the first place. But, when your relationship ended you lied to them, it was working well until you got a call from your very upset mother telling you Jun showed up to your house with his family and a girl on his arm that wasn’t you. 
“Okay, then why can’t I choose my own date?” 
“The men you chose to quote on quote date are literally disturbing, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Like that one dude you brought here last time? Whatever the fuck his name was literally was wearing a necklace vial of his own blood and claimed drinking your own urine and reusing water is the only way we can save the planet.” 
“Okay, but he was nice.” 
“He literally didn’t flush the toilet because he only went number one. That’s fucked, no.” 
“Can I at least, like at the very least have some approval over the men you match me with then?” 
“Maybe.” 
“ Kwanie, please. Come on, don’t make me use the what goes around card, it’s my turn” 
“No, it's absolutely my turn.” 
“Not true, you wasted it two months ago when I had to bail you out of that strange house party orgy thing by saying your dog died and coming in crying to a bunch of naked strangers. You owe me.” 
“Valid.” 
“How did you not realize what that party was anyway?” 
“This is not currently about my life failures, but yours my beautiful friend.” 
Laughing at Seungkwan's major mishap, you forgot to greet your dog, Lucky. She was waiting and crying at your feet, finally waking up from her sweet slumber to greet you. 
“Hello my baby, do we have to go outside?” 
“She went for a walk this afternoon, but after her dinner she crashed so she probably wants a walk. I can go if you want to change or shower.” 
“No it’s alright, I can take her, you're already in your pj’s and after my date I need a distress, want anything from the mart?” 
“Ice cream?” 
With a small nod you jumped up, taking the small curly creature in your arms and grabbing her harness before heading back outside into the warm spring air. 
Ten minutes into your evening stroll, you decided to sit on the green wooden bench overlooking the water, the same bench your grandmother always spoke about when you asked her the same story about how she and your grandfather got engaged. The gold plaque with their names rubbing off sitting behind your back. 
Suddenly you heard a man yelling from behind you, running through the green grass lit up with fluorescent lights. 
“Hey, Kkuma, no come back.” 
A small white dog came up behind Lucky sniffing her and starting to play, you noticed her cute hairclip and ran your hands through her fur. 
“God, I’m sorry. She normally doesn’t run off like that.” 
“It’s okay my dog lov-“ 
As you turned around to look into the round eyes of the owner, you were stunned with how beautiful he was. 
His dark hair pushed under a cap, a white t-shirt too big for his frame sitting beautifully in his toned shoulders, and his red sweatpants matching his shoes. 
The unfamiliar man was bending down now petting your precious pet and his own at the same time talking to them in sweet baby voices. 
“This is Kkuma by the way, and you are?” 
“Y/N” 
“Hi y/n, you’re so cute, you and kkuma can be best friends if your mom lets you.”
You let out a roaring laugh realizing he thought you had introduced your pet and not yourself.
“Oh sorry, did I say something wrong?”
“No, no. It’s just I’m y/n this is Lucky sorry my fault.” 
“Oh god, cool. Sorry Lucky, I’m Seungcheol. You can call me Cheol and this is Kkuma.” 
“Nice to meet you Cheol and Kkuma.” 
“You too. Look I know I just met you and all, but I’m new to the area. I was wondering if you’d want to get coffee and let the girls hangout sometime?” 
“Oh. Yeah, of course. Let me give you my number.” 
Seungcheol handed you his cell phone with a new contact page pulled up giving you full reign to type your name and number into his list. 
Handing the device back to him your fingers touched, creating an electric shock, to not like you to believe in signs, but for some reason it felt like the universe trying to tell you something. 
“Thank you, I’ve actually got to get going, but if you're free tomorrow would you want to grab coffee and hangout at the dog park?” 
“Yeah, totally. Just text me a time, we can just meet here. What kind of coffee do you drink? There’s a good spot by my apartment. I can just pick it up for us.” 
“Wow, that’s so nice of you. Just a black americano is cool or a cold brew whichever.”
“No fun I see.”
“How would you know that? Just because I don’t like sugary drinks doesn’t mean I can’t have fun.” 
“I don’t know, we will see.” 
“We will. I’ll catch you tomorrow girls.” 
“Nice to meet you.” 
“You too!” 
Seungcheol left the same way he came running through the grass with Kkuma on his heels, following him all the way back to their home. 
Strolling back down the pathway back to your apartment, you could help but feel butterflies in your stomach, you knew nothing about the man you just met other than his name and his cute dog, but there was a lot of unknown. 
Smiling like a Cheshire Cat, you unlocked the front door and watched Lucky sprint back into Seungkwan lounging on the couch, eating for the ice cream you had forgotten. 
“Where’s the snacks? Also why are you smiling like an idiot you’re freaking me out.” 
“We met a guy with his dog, a very cute guy might I add, who actually asked for my number and wants to get coffee tomorrow.” 
“ What the fuck, it’s late tell me he doesn’t live in the park?” 
“No he said he just moved to the area, he was clearly not a park dweller he had keys, and smelt amazing actually.”
“Smelling strangers? A new low even for you”
“Oh my god, fuck off.” 
Seungkwan pulled his phone out and opened various social media apps preparing himself for best friend stalking duties. 
“What’s his name?”
“Seungcheol, not sure about his last name, but he goes by Cheol and his dog was Kkuma.” 
“Great.. okay, found him I assume?”
“What the fuck, how? Let me see.”
“Eager aren’t we?”
“Fuck off?” 
Grabbing Seungkwan's phone from his grip, you scroll quickly through the new faces' social media.
“Yeah, it’s him.” 
“Okay, let me see. Wait, he's actually hot AND seems to have his own business?” 
“Oh my god.”
“Here, look” 
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After the next few hours, you and your friend stumble on into your separate rooms preparing yourself for slumber, which never seems to reach you and before you know it dawn is creeping its way through your curtains, and your backup preparing yourself for a day with you and Lucky's new friends. 
Something about your energy was excitable and nearing frantic, you could wait to step outside into the fresh air with your pocket sized princess at your side, but it was still early. 
You had decided on pampering yourself for this morning, finding the need to make yourself up, you spread on your skin care with glee, drew perfect lines of eyeliner and strained your hair, pulling it up into a nice tight ponytail the hair tie matching the taupe tone of your sweat suit perfectly.  Before you knew it it was 9:45 a perfect time for you and Lucky to step outside the door. 
Placing her in her tote bag, you stepped inside of your favorite coffee shop, the light pink walls covered in photos and paintings, the smell of the espresso seemed sweeter. 
“Morning, y/n you look beautiful today. Would you like the usual?”
“Thank you, for me, yes. But can I also get a large americano, just black and he didn’t tell me iced or hot, so iced is good I think? Or maybe hot with a cup of ice on the side? If that’s okay?” 
“He? Did you finally start dating someone?” 
“Oh no, just a friend of mine. Seungkwan told you shit about me didn’t he?” 
“Yes. Sorry.”  
“No worries, can I actually get two of the plain croissants and two of the flower dog cookies too?” 
“No problem, it’ll be right out.” 
“Thank you.” 
Taking a seat next to the pick up counter you scrolled through the instagram of the boy you’re meant to be meeting, telling yourself it’s just to remember his face, but really it was to get a peek into what else he’s into or if he was single. 
“Y/N” 
“Oh shit, sorry. Thank you guys, see you tomorrow.” 
Picking up the paper coffee carrier and pastry bag, you waved goodbye to the baristas and briskly walked back to the bench you were at yesterday, your bench, spotting the back of Seungcheol’s head watching the water with his dog. 
“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” 
“Oh, no problem. I just got here.” 
Placing your items down on the bench, you freed her bag and greeted Kkuma alongside her before taking your seat. 
“Here’s your coffee, I wasn’t sure if you wanted hot or iced so I got you a cup of ice too just in case, a croissant, and a little treat for your girl too.” 
“Wow thank you so much, hot is fine actually. How are you?” 
“Good, nervous. I mean it’s not every day you meet a stranger for coffee.” 
Seungcheol laughed, tipping his head back slightly before taking a bite of his pastry. 
“Sorry. I know it’s weird, you just seemed like someone I wanted to get to know, and Kkuma liked you so I figured you’re good people.” 
“Well, thank you. You too. Lucky generally does not like men other than my friend Seungkwan, my dad, and my ex-boyfriend so consider yourself special.”
“I do.”
“So what brought you to this neighborhood? Work, a relationship?”
“No relationship, but actually my business partner is from here. We decided to open our warehouse and stuff here because it’s much better than doing it in the city. We have a spirit company and we’re planning on opening a brewery and bar, so that’s why I’ve been working late nights. I guess it served me well, I made a friend on my first day.”
“You’ve only been here for a full day? What the hell? You already know the best spot in town. What kind of stuff do you guys make?”
“Beer and soju mainly, we’ve been working on it for five years now and are finally at a spot to open up and start selling it to people, which is cool. But what about you? What do you do?” 
“I’m a medical student actually, my parents are both doctors, I used to really want to be one too, but I don’t know, I don’t really have the same passion for it as I used to.”
“Well what would you do if you had the choice?”
“I always wanted to design stuff for dogs, start a rescue, anything like that. I got so happy seeing Kkuma as an accessory girl.”
“Yeah, she’s very stylish. I think you should go for it, you know? Why waste time becoming something for someone else and risk being unhappy just for their sake?”
“Honestly I wouldn’t even know how to start a business on my own, let alone tell my parents.”
“Hey, I didn’t either and look where it’s gotten me.”
You turned back to the water, staring into the calm blue waters, trying not to go into your own head. 
“You’re oddly inspiring, I’ll give you that much.”
“Thank you, y/n. You’re oddly sassy, I’ll give you that.”
“Shut up, I’m not.”
“You already tried to clock me by saying I’m no fun because I drink black coffee and you said oddly inspiring like a back handed compliment. You definitely are, but I like it. 
“Good.”
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You had continued your twice weekly hangouts with Kkuma and her dad for two weeks now, getting excited whenever the days roll around to see the two of them again, but you haven’t hung out once without them around, which made you wonder if your friendship or crush rather on this boy was only due to your dogs being friends themselves. 
Seungkwan tried setting you up on more and more dates with more and more duds, he was starting to lose hope himself, knowing that the one person he could set you up with was Seungcheol but he didn’t want to overstep. 
Strolling home from another failed connection, you decide to stop and have a beer before going home to give the dirty details to Seungkwan about who you had just met. 
Pulling open the tab of one of your drinks from your six pack, you took a deep breath and sat down, feeling your eyes welling up with tears. 
Another can opened as you went to take the first sip. A hand comes on your shoulders, whispering a boo in your ears. 
“What the fuck!” 
Jumping up from your seat the hand on your shoulder belonged to Seungcheol, the look in his eyes went from happy to concerned as he saw the small streaks of tears on your cheeks, you top now dribbled with spots of beer. 
“I’m so sorry, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Want a beer?”
“Sure, thanks. I’m sorry I scared you, I thought you heard me behind you.”
“It’s alright, I was in my own world anyway. You look nice, where are you headed?”
“Soft opening for my bar actually, I texted you, but I figured you didn’t respond because you were busy.”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I would’ve loved to come. I was a bit preoccupied on an awful fucking date.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Worse.”
“Well the good news is you technically didn’t miss it, it doesn’t start for another twenty minutes and you’re dressed very nice. It worked out. 
“Fuck I wish I paid more attention, I could’ve got you some flowers or something.”
“Next time. Will your roommate be alright taking care of Lucky?”
“Yeah of course, he knew I would be out tonight. I’ll text him just to be sure.”
“Cheers to hanging out without our kids?”
“Definitely.”
With that suddenly your awful night and doubts about your relationship with the raven haired boy went out the window. 
“Shall we?”
“We shall.” 
Seungcheol lent his arm out for you to wrap your own around, and you both stayed out that way for a few moments, before discarding your cans and walking the way to his new venture. 
“Here it is, you ready?”
“When you told me you were opening this up I thought you hadn’t even started? But it looks like it’s fully ready.” 
“Ah, well we had planned to wait a bit, but we’re getting too antsy, so here we are.”
“It’s beautiful, holy shit.” 
“Thanks, sit here, I’ll be right back.”
You took a seat on the green leather booth, looking around and taking in the ambiance of the custom lighting and ribbon like wallpaper, when a blonde gentleman walked over sitting down across from you. 
“Y/n? Right?”
“Yeah, nice to meet you…”
“Jeonghan, I’m Cheol’s business partner.”
“Jeonghan, right. Nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot.”
“Likewise, you’re so much prettier than Cheol let on actually.”
“Oh?”
Without a chance to interrogate the new face further Seungcheol walked back over to your table, setting down a few bottles of various spirits for you to try, including a couple of cocktails. 
“He didn’t scare you too much did he?”
“Not at all, he was just telling me actually how much prettier I am than you alluded to.”
“Jeonghan, don’t do that to her, come on. You know very well I told you she was pretty, I even showed you her instagram, you agreed.”
“I know, I just wanted to make you tell her yourself and my job is done, see you around y/n.”
“Nice to meet you.”
As Jeonghan left the table you felt your cheeks growing with heat, unsure if it was the alcohol or the fact that Seungcheols friend made him confess he thought you were good looking. 
“Sorry about him, he’s a menace.”
“No need to be sorry, I have my own menace at home and I don’t mean my dog.”
Seungcheol laughed, pouring you a shot of his very own soju to taste, filling with anticipation hoping you enjoy the drink he’s serving you, looking for your approval became a big part of his mind lately. 
Lifting your glass up to his and clinking them together, the liquor poured down the back of your throat filling your mouth with sweetness and warmth. 
“Holy shit.”
“Good holy shit or bad holy shit?”
“No, very good. That’s actually delicious. It’s so clean and fresh.”
“That makes me so happy to hear.”
“I’m happy you’re happy.”
“Okay, beer next. This is just a standard sour, some lime and sea salt, sort of beach vibes.” 
“Sounds amazing, okay.”
Tipping your head back you sipped at the foamy top of the glass, savoring the flavors in your mouth. 
“I hate you so much.”
“What? Why?”
“Seungcheol, you're way too humble when you talk about your business, this shit is amazing. I said I hate you because I’m going to crave this shit and I’ll have to see you all the time.” 
“I thought you liked seeing me all the time?”
“You’re okay.”
“I have to say it’s cool to be here with you without the dogs, not that they distract too much, but they definitely take away giving you my full attention.”
“I mean how could they not, they’re cute as fuck,”
“So are you.”
“Wow, two drinks in Cheol and you’re already calling me cute? I wonder what else you’ll say the more you drink?"
“Technically we’re four drinks in, but I guess I remember the time I spent with you more than you do. Did those drinks on the bench mean nothing to you?”
“Oh fuck, I did forget. I guess technically I’m five drinks in then, catch up, bitch.”
You and Seungcheol spent the rest of the night being greeted by his friends, most of them already assuming who you were, letting you know that Seungcheol talks about you more than you realized. 
Feeling your blood alcohol content rising, you decided to take a step outside and refresh. 
The bell of the door opened up behind you, putting you face to face with his cherry lips once again, watching them light up a hand rolled cigarette to his lips. 
“Doing okay?”
“Yeah, just wanted to step out for a second. Are you good?”
“Very. Want a cig?”
“No, I’m good for now. Ask me again later.” 
“So will there be a later? You’re not ditching me now?”
“I’d never do that.”
“So, y/n does this maybe get me a chance to take you on a date? I’m kind of drunk so I’m feeling oddly bold.” 
“Is this not sort of a date?”
“I was hoping you thought so. Is that a yes?”
“Absolutely. I thought you’d never ask.”
“Before we go on our date though, y/n. I have one final question?” 
“Yes?” 
“Do you still think I’m boring?” 
“A little.” 
Seungcheol grabbed your waist and spun you around, causing his perfectly rolled tobacco to fall on the sidewalk. 
Blissfully you were giggling and laughing under the red led lights of his bar. 
“Take it back.” 
“Nope.” 
“Please.” 
You looked into his puppy dog eyes and did something out of your comfort zone. Wrapped your hands loosely around his neck, placing a deepened kiss onto his lips. 
His mouth tasted of cigarettes and salt with a hint of vanilla from the lip balm he always had on him. 
“Is that a good ‘sorry I called you boring’ kiss?” 
“It’ll do for now.” 
“Good. They’ll be more where that came from.” 
“Promise?” 
“Pinky promise.” 
You and Seungcheol unwrap from each other, finding Jeonghan standing and  cheering in the window watching the two of you. 
“Can’t believe I got a hot date and a sister for Kkuma all in one.” 
“You lucky dog.” 
600 notes · View notes
findmeinforks · 10 months
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Not Letting You Go Easy - Paul Lahote x Fem!Reader
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IM BACKKKKKKK!!! Wow I just checked my last fic and it's been TWO years. Does anyone even remember me? 🥹 I'm back on my twilight bs, this one is my longest ever! Let me know what you think! - 3.2K Words ❤️
*Second Person POV*
The sun poured on your face as you soaked in all the warmth it allowed. You missed the sun, watching the palm trees sway peacefully as the ocean tide rolls in. The goosebumps that arise on your skin as a strong breeze passes, the warmth blanketing back over them.
You keep your eyes shut as your mouth curls up in a smirk, listening faintly to your mom try and convince your sister to stay in Jacksonville. She could offer up the moon and all the stars...Bella would still choose Edward, every time. It's true that you were weary of the vampire, after she flew like a bat out of hell half way across the world to Italy to save him. But could you blame her?
If it wasn't for your sister stumbling her way into the supernatural world, it's possible you could have never met Paul. A blush crept up your cheeks as you crack a full smile, thinking back to the day you met the hot head.
~
There was absolutely zero hesitation when you followed behind Bella in the truck to go to Jacob's. You had been worried for weeks about your sister, who had been spiraling ever since she was ghosted a second time by someone she trusted. Not only did you care about your her, but Jacob too. He had been around your family for years, and this behavior...especially towards Bella...was concerning. So when she frantically barged in your room asking you to go with, you were out of the house in minutes.
You had taken off in a sprint to try and keep up with your sisters manic running towards the group of shirtless men in Jacob's backyard. You heard rumors of the so called "cult" that had formed in the recent weeks. Jacob's haircut and tattoo had confirmed that part. But seeing the others approach through his window, you knew this was going to be a bad idea. You barely had time to catch your breath before her hand came in contact with one of their faces. You let a gasp slip as you made it in time to yank her back by the elbow.
What had gotten into her!?
Not able to process why she would resort to slapping him in the first place, the man, who looked like a carbon copy of the other ones standing around, began to shake violently. The others were urging you both to get back while attempting to calm him down. Never in your life had you witnessed such immense anger. In seconds his shakes became tremors. It was as if he ripped apart, and in his place stood a massive grey wolf. Mirroring the emotions of the man before, the animal was growling, snarling at your sister with its teeth bared.
Your heart was beating out of your chest. You felt as if you were dreaming, blinking rapidly to make sure this was real. Not standing around to question the animal who could very well kill you, Bella grabbed your hand and you both booked it towards the house. The outburst must have woken Jacob, who was running towards the scene. Bellas blood curdling scream was telling him to go back, though he kept charging forward.
You both fell hands first onto the grass as Jacob launched over you both, shreds of clothes flying as yet another wolf emerged.
Now it was you who was shaking. The only thing that prevented you from having a panic attack was realizing that all the other men were calm, as if this happened all the time. You swallowed your fear as you accepted the hand of one of the younger men, who led you two back to the truck by the order of the oldest one.
As you walked into the cozy secluded home, your mind was running a million miles a minute. They were werewolves....as if after learning vampires existed wasnt a shock enough already.
The oldest one, fiancé, Emily, you had learned, helped ease some of the headache. Besides the scar she wore upon her face that made your stomach drop when you first saw her, she was the epitome of kindness. You could see when she was greeted by Sam that their love was far more deep rooted than the mark she wore. Only knowing her for an hour, you felt happy for the girl.
You vaguely registered Jacob returning, finally looking away from the couple when you heard an unfamiliar voice apologize to Bella. As he then turned your way, you both locked eyes. An electric current jolted through your body, through your veins as you held his stare. You felt a fuzzy warm feeling race its way all the way down to your toes. The feeling lasted what felt like forever, until Jacob's "no fucking way...." pulled you back to earth. It's as if you had been some other place. A place of immense happiness and love. You knew you looked as bright as a tomato when you realized all eyes were on the two of you, mortified they caught you staring.
You did a quick scan of the room, noticing they were paying more attention to the man rather than you, who, was still staring.
When you craned your neck to look at Bella behind you, you found relief in that she looked just as confused.
The man was slapped on the back by Embry, which snapped him out of his trance. He quietly introduced himself as Paul. You blushed hard when you quickly said your name back. As if to break the tension in the room, Jacob asked you both to go for a walk.
Before you left, you had sworn you heard Paul growl.
"Not now. She's been through too much today already." Sam lowly said to him. You furrowed your brows as you trailed behind your sister out of the house.
After a walk on the beach and many questions answered, you were able to take a deep breath. The world was getting scary for you, but Jacob seemed to ease your fears, promising he would always protect you both.
Before he dropped you both off at your house, he had mentioned going to a pack bonfire the following night. You couldn't help but get excited at the prospect of seeing Paul again. You both hadn't even spoke other than introductions, but there was some type of spark in your core when you both met.
Attempting to shove it away, you reminded yourself it was nothing but a crush.
~
You sat on a log by the fire, rubbing your hands together in front of it. Everyone was up gathering their food, but you were focused on the warmth as it was more than chilly outside. Nerves bubbled in you as Paul approached, asking to sit next to you. Your cheeks heated as he sat, only inches away.
"I just wanted to apologize about yesterday," he spoke, his voice gruff as he looked into the fire. "You could have gotten hurt and I let my anger get the best of me. I promise I'm not like that all the time, and I don't want you to be afraid of me."
Your heart melted at how softly he spoke. "It's really alright. My sister acts out of impulse, if you couldn't tell." This got him to laugh lightly. You laughed too, until a strong breeze made you break out into a shiver.
Paul immediately noticed, grabbing a blanket from the pile beside him. "Here," he said as he wrapped one around you. His warmth radiated off you as he had gotten closer to do so. Not even realizing what you were saying you spoke, "I bet your girlfriend never gets cold with you around." To your embarrassment but surprise he cracked a big smile. "I bet she would, if I had one." It was your turn to smile. "What about you?" You shook your head no as Paul let out a small breath that almost sounded like relief.
Before either of you could say something more, everyone gathered around the fire. The legends of the tribe had you captivated. So much history that you were never aware of, right under your nose. You could feel Paul glance at you every so often, gauging your reaction to everything that was said.
When the fire died down and Jacob's dad came to a stopping point, everyone quietly mingled until deciding to call it a night. You had talked to Paul the entire time, getting to know the basics. You had a lot more in common than you thought. The more you learned about him, the more you liked him. A lot. He followed you to Bella's truck, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"I had a really good time tonight" you spoke softly, now inches away from his face. You were so close you could feel his breath.
"I did too. I hope this won't be the last time I see you?" he questioned.
You glanced past him to see Bella and Jacob making their way up the hill.
"With everything going on, everything that's happening...I have a feeling we won't be going away anytime soon."
Paul smiled.
This is the part where he'll kiss me, you think. Your heart beats fast in anticipation.
But Paul just stands there. Staring. He stood there so long that you cleared your throat awkwardly.
"I'll see you around Paul." You tried to hide the disappointment on your face as you climbed into the truck and shut the door. He had let you, still standing there for a moment before turning around to walk back to the house.
Tears welled up in your eyes. How foolish were you, to think that a guy like Paul Lahote would just sweep you off your feet? Sure, a kiss might be moving fast for the first night, but he didn't even give you his number. You analyzed everything you had said to each other. Nothing was even romantic, so why on earth would you think he liked you back? Pathetic.
Bella said goodbye to Jacob and got in the truck. One thing you loved most about your sister was that she knew you better than anyone else. And if there was one thing you hated, it was when people asked if you were upset. One look in your direction and she didn't say a word, starting the truck and driving off. She knew when you were ready to talk, you would.
*Paul's POV*
I turned around, watching the truck drive away, getting smaller and smaller in the distance. I was frozen in place.
What is wrong with me?
"Everything go okay?" Sam approached, clearly sensing my distress.
"I'm never like this with women, Sam. I should have kissed her, but I didn't. I stood there, right in front of her with my mouth open like a fucking fish. I-I've never felt this way-" I rambled on.
"Dude it's alright" Sam interrupted, "Did you tell her that she's your imprint?"
I sighed. "I didn't even get that far. I don't, I don't want her to feel forced to like me like that right away. I want to treat it like a normal relationship....but I think I went ahead and screwed it up anyways." I huffed.
Sam placed his hand on my shoulder. "Deep breathes. You didn't screw anything up, you just met her. You can tell her about the imprinting when you're comfortable....as far as the kiss, well, it's never too late." Sam held up keys to his vehicle, putting them in my hand. "Only if you need them." He slapped me on the shoulder, winking, as he walked back to where Emily was.
I watched him sneak up behind her, she giggled as he peppered kisses on the back of her neck. I knew what he was doing. And it was working, as I made my way towards his car.
*Back to Second Person POV*
You sniffled, taking a deep breath. You were done crying over this man. This man you had literally just met. So what if he didn't like you? There is a million other people out there. Why did you care so much?
A knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. Charlie was gone over night on a hunting trip and Bella was fast asleep.
Another knock. It was almost damn near midnight. As you slowly approached the door, bat in hand, you looked through the peep hole.
It was Paul.
You flung open the door, ready to ask him what the hell him problem was, when he lunged forward. Grabbing you by the face, he kissed you feverishly. Your heart pounded in your chest as you melted into the kiss, tongues dancing together in perfect harmony. One hand held you by the hair as the other grabbed you by the waist, pulling you impossibly closer. When you both needed to breathe you pulled away, Paul's hand held tightly so you couldn't go too far. He leaned his forehead against yours, panting.
"I am so sorry I didn't do this when you left. You, you make me nervous. It's a feeling I've never really had before. When you left I- I didn't want to let you go that easy. I'm sorry." He said.
You leaned in to kiss him once, slowly, softly. "I've been waiting for you to do that," you smiled. "There's a lot more where that came from...if you'll have me." he said, his hand sliding down to interlock with yours, bringing back up to place a gentle kiss on the top.
"I couldn't imagine anything better." you grinned.
*Paul's POV*
Y/N guided me to the couch, asking to stay awhile. We held each other until the sun came up, just talking. It was as if everything right there had changed for me. She would be my number one priority, to have and protect. I vowed to myself that I would do anything she asked, that I will love her no matter the cost. Whatever makes her happy.
I had to leave before Charlie got home, but not without a heated make out session at the door. It took everything in me to pull away from her, both of us lingering. Despite her not letting go either, I could see the bags under her eyes forming.
"Get some sleep baby, text me when you wake up okay?" She nodded, and after a good 20 minutes of more kissing, I left.
I understood why Sam was always mopey without Emily around. As I drove away I could feel my heart ache like something was missing. This was a whole new feeling, and for the first time I thanked whatever spirits gave me her.
My imprint.
I bit my lip as I remembered I still had to tell her. I'm worried about how she'll take it, but there was something heavier on my mind.
Victoria.
Part Two Anyone? :)
1K notes · View notes
kaciidubs · 4 months
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24 to 25 [Merry Christmas] | 8 Days of SKZcember
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Prompt: meeting each other's family for the first time over the holidays
❣ Summary: There was a first for everything, and Christmas in Australia was definitely one of them. ❣  ❣ Word Count: 2.07k ❣ Warnings: Fluff, comfort, Chris is a doting boyfriend, slight humor, the whole Bang family is here ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Chan is referred to as Chris, Channie, and Baby, Reader is referred to as Baby, and Love, unedited, this was meant to be short, not over 2k words ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist ❣ SKZcember 2023
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Having family living in a different part of the world often meant having to visit whenever time off would allow; however, having a boyfriend in the industry whose family also lived in a different part of the world apart from your family meant those visits were even rarer.
“...and once again, we would like to thank you for flying with us this Christmas eve.”
Toying with your fingers subconsciously, you glanced out of the window of the plane at the vast expanse of land thousands of meters below, your stomach doing flips in the meantime.
“Baby?”
A soft touch brought you out of your thoughts, turning your head to see Chris’s hand covering yours with a gentle squeeze added for good measure.
“If you’re nervous about the landing just close your eyes - you can even close the blind if you want?”
Your heart fluttered and you had to stop yourself from swooning at how cute he was, squeezing his hand back with a small smile, “It’s not the landing that I’m nervous about, Channie - well, not entirely nervous about.” Looking down at your entwined hands, you deflated slightly in your seat, “I’m just worried they won’t… like me, you know?”
You were both currently on your way to Australia to visit Chris’ family for the holiday; the decision being made after a long winded debate and heavy consideration over you not wanting to take the opportunity away from his visiting home, and him not wanting you to sacrifice seeing your family just for him - the resolution resulting in two plane tickets and the promise of the next vacation dedicated to your hometown.
Chris scoffed your name lovingly, “You’re worried over that? You know my mom adores you, and my dad asks about you whenever he calls - and you already know how Hannah is, you guys basically talk everyday! Hell, even Lucas brings your name up, you know how rare that is?”
“Hannah doesn’t count cause I’ve already met her - but your mom, dad, and Lucas? We’ve only ever talked over the phone, it’s different from meeting in person - what if I’m not what they expected?”
“Love, look at me.”
Looking at him with a soft pout, he gave you a comforting smile, eyes shining with a fondness you’d fallen for time and time again.
“My family is going to love you, because I love you, okay? They’ve heard me talk about you so much that my mom actually started threatening me to bring you to visit!” When you cracked a smile at his confession, he felt a wave of relief wash over him, “Everything’s going to be fine, yeah?”
Giving him a small nod, you watched as he pressed a small kiss to your knuckles just as the seatbelt light turned on and the plane prepared for its final descent.
It wasn’t long until the plane touched down and you were both following the line of passengers toward baggage claim and car rentals, Chris claiming that having more than one car would be best this time around.
“Alright,” he clapped his hands, seat belt buckled and car running, “Hannah knows we’re on our way - apparently Dad’s busy grilling and Mom’s running around trying to make sure the house is in order.”
“And your brother?”
“Waiting to catch Mom’s reaction when we walk through the door, I’m sure.”
The time between the car pulling out of the rental lot and rolling down the familiar streets of Chris’ childhood neighborhood seemed too short to be true, and you found yourself fidgeting with the strap of your seatbelt as you looked through the window.
“Baby, you’re doing it again.”
Huffing out a short laugh, you shook your head, “I’m just excited - nervous, but excited. Don’t act like you wouldn’t be doing the same thing if you were meeting my parents!”
He puffed out his cheeks, “I wouldn’t!”
“Chris, you practiced talking on the phone for ten minutes before we video called my family for the first time.”
His silence was enough for you to laugh harder, cooing at the blush tinting his ears as he pulled the car into the driveway.
It didn’t take long for the two of you to gather your bags - or, rather, for Chris to gather the suitcases like the gentleman he was while you handled closing the trunk after - and make your way up the short path to the front door.
He looked at you with a glittering smile, tilting his head toward the entrance, “Ready?”
Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to quell the butterflies in your stomach and nodded, signaling him to ring the doorbell.
The sound of muffled barking soon followed suit, Berry readily alerting the home of their potential guests.
“Coming!”
No less than a second later, the door swung open to reveal a bright eyed Hannah, a wide smile stretching her lips as she practically flung herself into your arms with an excited squeal of your name.
“You made it! Oh my god, hi! Welcome to Australia!”
You hugged her back with a laugh, “Thank you! It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever!”
“I’m here too, you know.” Chris muttered, though the smile on his face betrayed any attempts of annoyance he tried conveying. “Your older brother? The person you grew up with?”
“Exactly, I grew up with you which means I’ve seen enough.”
“Hey!”
Breaking from the hug, she led you both into the house as she went to find the rest of the family, leaving you and Chris in the foyer with a very excited, yet curious Berry.
Your boyfriend wasted no time in crouching down, baby voice in full effect, “Hi, Berry! Berry! Hi! I missed you! I missed you so much!”
The king charles spaniel jumped onto his arms, panting happily before falling back down with a series of excited barks and tail wags, then turning her attention to you with similar gusto. 
Bending down, you offered your hand for her to sniff with a small smile, “Hi, Berry, it’s nice to meet you! Chris talked about you so much, part of me thought this trip was just to see you and no one else.” When her curious sniffing stopped, she ducked her head under your hand for you to pet her, which you graciously accepted, “Oh, aren’t you the cutest? You’re the best girl, aren’t you?”
The sound of footsteps broke you from your puppy praise break and you stood just in time to see his mom rushing around the corner with a bright smile on her face, “Oh my goodness!”
Taking the initiative, Chris stepped forward with an equally wide smile, an air of sheepishness surrounding him as if he were a teenager bringing home their first partner. “Hi, mom.”
She wasted no time in pulling him into a hug, holding him in her arms as much as she could despite how grown he had become - the epitome of a mother’s hug, always ready to cradle their child no matter how much they’ve changed.
Your heart swelled at the display, catching a few murmurs of how much she missed him and how big he’d gotten until she pulled away to look in your direction.
“I feel like I’ve heard so much about you already that I don’t even need an introduction,” she laughed, letting her son out of her arms to stand next to you, “but I’ll let him tell me anyways, I know he’s been practicing this moment.”
“Mom, really?”
“That’s hilarious,” Lucas snickered from the sidelines, which gave you the chance to notice him holding his phone, most likely recording for future memories.
Huffing lightly, Chris took your hand in his and you squeezed in earnest, watching him relax considerably. “Mom, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend,” he turned to you, a warm smile on his lips, “and this is my mom, the person responsible for giving me life.”
“And your good looks,” she teased, stepping forward to bring you into a hug similar to the one she gave him; welcoming, comforting, accepting. “It’s so nice to finally meet you - pictures do not do you justice!”
You could feel yourself melt in her embrace, your previous nervousness vanishing into thin air, “It’s an honor to meet you, Mrs. Bang.”
“Oh, please, it’s an honor finally meeting the person who’s responsible for my son being this happy,” holding you at arms length, she gazed at you with sparkling eyes, “I’m so happy you’re here.”
Just as you went to give another complement, the smell of grilled meat wafted through the air and Chris all but floated off of the ground; a weary sigh escaping him as he eagerly looked toward what you could only assume to be the kitchen.
“I missed dad’s grilling so much.”
“Good, cause he’s been at it all day,” Hannah shrugged, looking at you with a smirk, “He made one of everything - I’d like to think of it as pregaming Christmas dinner.”
Their mom let you go and headed through the hall, “I’ll go help with setting the table - Chris, your room is all set if you want to drop off your suitcases and give her a quick tour, other than that I’ll call when dinner’s ready.”
He gave her a short hum in response, sharing a quick hug with Lucas and a brief introduction between the two of you before guiding you to his old room - or, better known as the room you’ll be sharing for the next few days.
“If the bed’s too small, I can always camp out on the floor, you know.”
You scoffed out a laugh as you danced your fingers along the carefully laid out blanket, “You say that as if we don’t practically sleep under each other already - this is perfect, baby.”
You couldn’t help but take in the details of his old room, scanning over the posters and pictures that decorated the walls, and spotting the board of medals that laid propped against the floor - not that it was hard to miss considering the wide array it held. Before you could get entranced by any more trinkets and hidden gems, his hand gently grabbed yours and he pulled you into his space, trapping you in his arms with a careful gaze.
“How are you feeling so far? If you’re tired from the flight I can always ask my dad to save you a plate for later, he’ll understand and-”
“Baby, I’m okay!” Wrapping your arms around his waist, you smiled up at him, “I’m not tired, and I’m not worried anymore - meeting your mom made me realize I had nothing to be scared about, and just from smelling your dad’s food I know we’re going to get along just fine!” You narrowed your eyes slightly, tilting your head with a soft pout, “Are you okay? Not that I hate the sudden check in, but you seem stressed, Chris.”
Heaving a deep sigh, he ultimately relaxed in your arms, a tired smile falling on his lips, “I’m okay- more than okay, actually, I’m just…” He stared at you, brown eyes warm with love, “I guess I’m just excited over having you here with me, with my family - I want to make sure everything’s perfect and I’m not pushing you into things too soon.”
Cooing at his sentiment, you laid your head on his chest, surrounding yourself in his scent and warmth. “Channie, you’re not pushing me into anything, you hear me? I’m happy we decided to come here, and even if we haven't been here long, I already feel more than welcome.”
His hold on you tightened a bit more as he rested his cheek on the top of your head, grounding himself in the moment until his mother’s voice floated through the hall.
“Chris! Food’s ready!”
“Well,” pulling away from him, you shot him a teasing smile, “ready for your first family dinner featuring your extremely brave girlfriend?”
He chuckled at your antics, “My brave girl, for sure - I was born ready for this.”
As you led the way out of his room, his phone vibrated in his pocket and he snuck a glance at the screen to see a text from your mom; your family’s flight still on schedule to land tomorrow morning.
Biting back his grin, he sent a quick text in return before grabbing your hand and guiding you toward the dining room.
“Dad, there’s someone I’d like you to meet!”
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✧. ┊Tagged lovelies: @goblinracha, @having-an-internal-crisis-rn, @midnightfrog625, @anyhow-everything, @bangchanbabygirlx, @sweetracha, @j-onedrabbles, @happilydeepestwonderland, @nightimescapes, @caitlyn98s, @ch4nn13luv, @ihrtlix, @sometimesleeknows, @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997, @maximumkillshot, @y-ur--i, @acker-night, @dreamescapeswriting, @specialstay, @broken-glowsticks, @s00buwu, @dancerachaslut, @junglyric, @tinyelfperson, @jj-stay, @katsukis1wife, @inlovewithmusician, @keen-li, @armystay89, @main-character0, @vampcharxter, @ddyskz, @prettymiye0n, @bbgnyx, @ivyisnotokay
✧. ┊If your username is in bold italics that means tumblr won't let me tag you. If you’d like to be added to the taglist, fill out this form!
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burntb4bydoll · 10 months
Note
It's my first time requesting something on here, I am CRAVING for any Tokio Hotel member with a kind/sweet/obedient reader, I usually can't find stories/headcanons with them where the reader is a sweet and obedient girl, feel free to ignore this request if you want to.
Bae this is so me fr (for the most part😇)
Tokio Hotel with a sweet and obedient gf (slightly NSFW)
Bill Kaulitz
•hes completely infatuated with you. you could do anything you wanted to him and he would let you.
•he thinks that you are an absolute angel. He loves how sweet you are, it makes him so proud to be your bf
•would NEVER let people take advantage of you or your kindness. You don’t like disappointing people by saying ‘no’ but he has absolutely no problem doing it for you
• “sweetheart, you can’t do everything people ask you to. You are too sweet for your own good sometimes I swear.”
•he means that in a endearing way dw! He wouldn’t change a single thing about you
•he tries to test your obedience tbh. He’ll tell you to do something small then slowly start telling you to do more, but you never disobey him. And he makes sure to praise you very well for it
• “oh my, what a good girl. You listen so well, angel. Im so proud of you.”
•definitely is more of a soft dom with you, he can’t imagine being mean to his sweet girl🤭
Tom Kaulitz
•oh boy…
•you two are opposites. He’ll try to get you to do and say bad/mean things just to see if youll actually do it
•your hesitant because you dont wanna be mean, but you obey him and he immediately cant help but smirk to himself
•Bill always scolds him for it tho, you can’t escape mama Bill.
“Tom, Leave her alone! Y/n don’t listen to him, hes an idiot.” 😭
•he thinks its so cute watching you interact with his family. You’re just so sweet and they all love you so much. Hes so happy that they love you just as much as he does
•HIS MOM LOVES YOU. SHE TAKES SO MANY PICTURES OF YOU AND TOM AND SHOWS THEM TO EVERYONE. SHE CALLS YOU HER DAUGHTER TOO😭💗
•not to be a whore….but CORRUPTION KINK?? HELLO???
•LOVES pet names. He calls you princess, sweetheart, my love🤭🤭
Georg Listing
•LORD he is obsessed with you omfg
•you are absolutely everything to him. You’re his precious girl who could never EVER do anything wrong in his eyes
•literally refers to you as his ‘lovely girlfriend’ to people 😭
•his heart almost explodes whenever you do anything for him. Whether that be cooking him food, drawing/coloring a picture for him, or just giving him a small compliment, he’ll always be so so appreciative of it
•HES SO SOFT WITH YOU. He kisses youholds your face so gently while stroking your cheeks with his thumbs:(((
• “You’re such a sweetheart, you know that? I love you so much, my sweet girl.”
Gustav Schäfer
•hes also such a sweetheart, but he likes to pretend like hes all mean and unapproachable😭
•like babe, you are probably the cutest person here you’re not fooling anyone.
•you two are known for being the super lovey couple. He loves to show you off and you’re just happy to be there😇
•although you’re both sweet, you’re the only obedient one in the relationship. He such a brat and LOVES to push peoples buttons just to see how far he can go before someone actually gets mad😭
•BLUSHES SO SO HARD WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT HIM
•you guys are the embodiment of a praise kink. Neither of you can go 5 minutes without being and all nice and lovey dovey to each other
•dare i say….pleasure Dom Gustav…. GUYS IK I SAY IT ALL THE TIME BUT PLS YOU KNOW ITS TRUE
• “such a good girl for me, arent you?”
“Aww, you’re so cute, my baby.” Yes. HIS baby.😇
986 notes · View notes
aliaology · 6 months
Text
NOW THAT WE DONT TALK
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summary: jack realizes yns music is quite literally a call out, directed towards him, and his brothers egg it on. pt.3
series masterlist
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“i called my mom, she said ‘that it was for the best!’ remind myself the more i gave, you’d want me less”
jack could’ve hit his head against the counter ten more times and the song would still be ringing through his ears like a splinter that wouldn’t come out of his hand.
quinns hand made contact with the back of jacks head. “knock it off, jack.”
jack groaned, shoving his head into his arms. he groaned again, this time the noise being muffled due to the his arm. “she wrote a song about me, quinn.”
quinn rolled his eyes. “you don’t know its about you” he told.
jack scoffed, head shooting up. “she literally called me out. the parties, that stupid red sea reference, even the chorus. its so obviously me. and then her newer single that dropped thirty minutes ago?’
quinn shrugged, “could be about trevor”
jack rolled his eyes, “no way in hell, quinn. they never hooked up and her newer one is about some guy hooking up with her later on—“
“you sound obsessed, jack.” quinn told. jack looked down, embarrassed.
“whats jack obsessed with?” trevor asked, walking inside the kitchen. he stole a grape from jack and popped it into his mouth.
“y/n’s song” quinn spoke.
trevor scoffed, “why are you so hung up on it? its just music.” trevor shrugged.
“hes upset because hes getting called out.”
jack groaned again, head hitting the counter.
quinn rolled his eyes again. “you’ve gotta stop doing that dude. listen— she probably made these ages ago and just now got to releasing them.”
trevor popped another grape in his mouth. “not too sure about that, but i know she started writing them when you two broke up.”
luke slowly walks in. “seriously? you guys are torturing the man talking about his ex.”
jack nods, signifying lukes words to be true.. luke goes into the cupboard to grab a plate. “just ignore it.” he shrugged.
trevor snorted. jack sent the boy a glare, causing his laughter to abruptly stop. “how can i just ignore it? shes getting big and her music is everywhere already.” he asked.
quinn gave him a look. “then face it, jack. you can’t keep putting yourself in denial for something you caused.”
jack let out an exasperated groan for the 100th time. “gee, thanks quinn. way to make me feel better.”
“dont start giving him shit, jack.” luke spoke.
jack rolled his eyes. “whatever, im going to my room.” he got up and went for the stairs.
all three boys looked around at each other. silence fell through the room. suddenly, the sliding door opens. “whats going on?” cole asked.
“quinn picked his side of the argument.” trevor spoke, slightly glaring at quinn.
quinn gave one back, “dont act innocent, trevor. you screwed her over too. you and jack need to own up to it and stop cowering like little kids. you are both in your twenties for fucks sake. grow up.”
quinn went off to his room, leaving a wide eyed group of boys behind.
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jacks brows furrowed as he listened to the song in his earbuds. his girlfriend napped next to him as he sat up on the bed. he hates to admit it, but he kinda deserved this.
“lets fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later. if shes got blue eyes, i will surmise that you’ll probably date her. you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor, you search in every model—“
he stopped the song, taking his earbuds out and tossing them to the floor. he cheated, and now was dating the girl he cheated with. it was sad, really.
fiona, she was a woman who loved money. jack, was a man who loved attention. maybe that’s why they were together. but she wasn’t horrible like people said, right?
quietly, he went to tik tok and made a fake account, that way she knew he didn’t stalk her profile. i mean— she has no idea he even uses it still.
jack searched fionas name up, ultimately clicking on her profile. she had one video up. he clicked on it.
ick ick ick ick
she was lip syncing that really terrible audio that went ‘he chose me, he dont want you. he chose me’ and honestly, jack was appalled.
but before he could open the comments, she started to wake up. he swiped out of the app and deleted it, tossing his phone to the side afterwards.
“hey baby.” he smiled.
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now that we dont talk!
tags! @honethatty12 (if u want tags, just ask <3)
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hana-no-seiiki · 10 months
Note
HELLO??? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE??? especially the last line holy shit im scared yet excited at the same time 😬😬
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YANDERE! AQUAMARINE HOSHINO x REINCARNATED! READER x YANDERE! RUBY
Guess I gotta do a full fic about it huh. Here we go. Link to previous part in the ask!
tw/cw: yandere themes, gaslight tactics courtesy of aqua, girlkeep tactics courtesy of ruby, girlboss [y/n]. mentions of suicide. reader is gn but gets described as beautiful.
is this really a yandere fic when both the twins are canonically insane tho-
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IT WAS SAID THAT DURING THE NIGHT OF YOUR BIRTH THE SUN WAS AT ITS HIGHEST POINT AND FULLEST BLOOM.
Its rays buried humanity under a blanket of heat and devastation. Fortunetellers would wax on and on of the disasters you would soon bring upon the world.
That was your experience in your first life.
Many could only wish of being born to a worldwide pop-star, but to you it was a reality. You resented those that vied for your place. How could they romanticize such a life when every single day was torture for you. Some predicted you to be world-class singer before your first cry. People knew you before you could even speak to them. Everyone already idolized you, expected you to do great things before you’d even learn the alphabet.
The pressure had already been insurmountable the moment you took your first breath.
Your second life was terrifying to say the least. It didn’t matter that way you died before, just the thought of experiencing the same motions again frightened you to your bones.
And so you pretended. A shining star to a dim moon that barely reflected any light. Ever so meticulously making sure none knew of your so called genius. The last thing you wanted was to be labeled a prodigy even with the more lax nature of your new family.
But art will always call to you, a sunflower drawn to its source of energy.
You kept everything as lowkey as you could, reconnected with contacts you knew would keep their mouth shut, and even kept your identity away from prying eyes.
To the world you were just this masked musician that was oddly reminiscent of their previous luminescence.
You were satisfied with that life. Fame wasn’t something you agonized about or wished for. But now that veil had been taken away, it’s as if everything was crashing down yet again. Emails, messages and articles about your success as a young star was beginning to show its true weight. Stress began accumulating further and further as you had distanced yourself from your family and threw yourself to work as a distraction.
On one such ‘productive’ night, you were met with a face you didn’t expect.
“Aqua-niisama! Nice seeing you here. Thought you would be staying at that director’s place for the night—“
“Why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you promise to tell me everything? Don’t you trust me?”
Aquamarine had this knack of being utterly terrifying without meaning to. He had the talent to frighten at a glance. His beautiful sea-like eyes turn dull, murky. Capturing all the light, and drowning you in the same pressure your old family would throw you under repeatedly.
With his arms caging you between his form and the wall, you knew there was no escaping this. So in spite of the crippling anxiety, you gulp it do
“I wasn’t confident enough with my skills. Your mom is the Ai Hoshino and Ruby is so talented I—“
He lowered his face, nestled it right beside yours. You could swear he was breathing in your scent. “You looked anything but ‘not confident’ up on the stage.”
“Liar.” His hands then moved from the wall to encircle themselves around your body; his face to your the top of your head and nose between your hair. Yet even in this tight embrace you still felt chills down your spine. “I scare you don’t I? You were worried that I would stop you like I did with her.”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry. I’m a terrible brother.”
“No, I understand you. You just wanted to keep her safe and I—“
“Not for that.” He pushed himself away for a couple of moments, and for that short amount of time you were ashamed to say that you felt utterly relieved until— “This.”
— he kissed you.
You’ve seen Aqua kiss Akane before. Both on and out of camera. You respected their relationship despite knowing of how unhealthy it truly is. They’d eventually break up and things would go smoothly you thought.
Pfft, as if. You knew shit would hit the fan. You were just too much of a coward to get in his way. Akane could suffer for all you care, she chose to date your psychopath of an adoptive brother anyways.
But you didn’t expect him to fall for you.
He never seem interested. Despite your mother telling you time and time again that Aqua cared deeply about you, you just couldn’t see it.
He was the deep, dark ocean. You were at the highest point of the sky, sailing across the cosmic sea. There was no way you two could meet eye to eye much less love normally.
You did the only thing your body could muster at the moment and slapped him.
“You’re right. You are a horrid brother.”
As you ran away, sobbing, Aqua couldn’t help but feel aroused.
Oh, how charming you looked with tears streaking down your cheeks.
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It felt like hours when you first started crying nonstop. You never cried in your original life. You had no time or energy to. You never expected that your second, mundane life would be the one that shattered you.
And shattered you it did. You felt sorry for the future you who had to wash off all the tears and snot on your pillows and bedsheets, but it had to be done. You knew if you didn’t let it all out that day it’d happen sooner or later at a more inconvenient time.
Aqua only entered once to leave a tissue box and water bottle before he left. The sounds of typing outside of your room never ceased however, indicating he never actually went too far.
Ruby arrived far earlier than you expected as well. Her schedule that day should have had her busy til midnight but you had the feeling Aqua told her what he’d done.
“Ruby-nee—“
“Ssshhh…” Ruby silenced you with a kiss to the forehead.
“Why would he do that— he - he has a girlfriend.” You stuttered and hiccuped throughout your speech, still crying as hard as you did back then.
“Do you really think he loves her?”
“No.”
“But that isn’t what you’re worried about isn’t it?”
Ruby brought you up to her shoulder, massaging your back in a circular motion. “Trust me, nothing will change. He loves you very much. We both love you. I’m just sorry we didn’t make you feel comfortable enough to share your passion with us. You’re amazing [Y/N] in every shape, way or form. You don’t have to be the brightest to the world, you have no obligation to.”
“To us you’re already perfect.”
You never knew she had the capability to be this comforting in a mature sort of way. She always radiated a loud vibration; refreshing most of the time, though it did get tiring.
Never have you been afforded this kind of consolation. It was always you against the world. Being reminded that there are other stars in the sky beside you gave you a strange sense of solace. An odd variety of relief borne out of being insignificant in the sky.
“This incident just means he loves you in a different way alright?”
“But what about Aka-neesama?”
“I’ll talk to him about it.”
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“You should thank me. I left them all vulnerable for you.” Aqua spoke, his right hand quickly moved across his laptop’s keyboard and his left held a can of Monster.
“You felt it too didn’t you?” Ruby exhaled. It took a while to get you to lull you into sleep; a necessary step to have the conversation she was partaking in.
“Yeah. . . I did.” Aqua took a sip from his drink, his starry eyes laser focused on the recording of your performance. He had set up several fan accounts and gotten footage from all sorts of angles. He couldn’t wait for your next stage. May it be from sheer excitement or the caffeine in his blood, but the man was absolutely shaking all over over in anticipation. “We have a second chance, don’t mess things up.”
“I should be saying that to you. Break up with Akane by next week. And be careful with how forward you are with your feelings.”
“Already done.” Aqua held up his phone without breaking moving his head at all, in his phone were a few texts between him and a panicking Akane. “and no promises”
Ruby sighed one last time that night, leaning her head back to your bedroom door. “. . . You were right.”
“Hm?”
Both of her eye’s stars hard turn tar black, a blush covered her cheeks.
“[Y/N] does look enticing when they cry.”
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kedsandtubesocks · 2 months
Text
dance away your cowboy blues
Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader
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summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, modern/no outbreak AU & Joel has both his daughters, exes to lovers with eventual husband!Joel, angst followed up by good sweet fluff, concert venue, light drinking mention, Joel being stubborn & bad at feelings, hints of spice, fools in love, reader is addressed as ‘honey, darlin,’ use of song lyrics in fic, Pearl Jam & Taylor Swift song mentions, soft & heartbroken!Joel, lovesick!Joel
word count: 6k
a/n: here we are - the last installment in our ‘Let’s Rodeo’ series & I’m so incredibly grateful to finally make it here, also this is my mini tribute to our boy and his SAG award! The main song Joel sings is this one and I highly recommend! Thank you to my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you for letting me scream about plot holes & aiding my Joel brainrot, @tightjeansjavi for always being down to chat about Joel, and to @lowlights & @ahauntedcowboy for being my ever guiding forces for this series, thank you all… And finally to you reading this, thank you so much ♡
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A year ago, Joel broke up with you on a warm early spring morning.
He arrived at your apartment, sat you down and shattered your world. You felt every range of emotion as he simply stood there like a man of steel.
So upset and angry, you wanted to rip your heart out and throw it at him.
Then later that week you found out his record was officially getting picked up and you crumbled.
Ending your relationship simply because he was about to step into true proper fame - you never took Joel to be a man so somberly callous. However, you began wondering if that’s what fame sometimes did to people.
When curiosity gnawed too hard, you’d Google him or even check Spotify. Simply catching glimpses of how big he’s gotten sent you spiraling. Last Thanksgiving, your favorite aunt threatened to lock your phone away when she found you upset in the bathroom after discovering Joel was performing at the Dallas Cowboys holiday game.
From that point on you refused to even check any amount of social media or update on him.
A few clunky first dates and a couple of ghosting experiences later, you’ve now decided to simply work on yourself and embrace the selfcare of being single.
It’s why when your best friend called you earlier today eagerly explaining how her parents had extra tickets to the Rodeo tonight, she playfully teased how she knew you didn’t have anything planned for this Saturday night.
You almost hung up on her, but you excitedly scrambled to get ready.
Now the smell of fried foods, popcorn, and beer cloud the air. The fairgrounds hold a chaotic but controlled lively energy. You never knew so many cowboy hats could exist in one space.
Once you meet up with your best friends' parents, you’re transported to a whole new area you never believed could exist during a rodeo. Lux and cozy, the VIP lounge gleams with its elevated experience. You knew your best friend’s mom worked for the construction company managing the arena. You just didn’t realize how big of a hookup it was. The VIP tickets allowed for full premium dining along with a couple of free drinks.
More importantly - it came with the best concert seats.
“In the dirt” is how they’re described because the tickets are literally stationed on the floor, in the dirt of the rodeo stadium, right by the stage.
Ecstatic and bubby energy now fills you. The food being served is divine and you gladly enjoy the free various drinks.
“So wait, did we figure out who’s performing?” You ask curiously while you lounge taking advantage of the nice seating area.
“Uh, I think my dad said it’s that band named Midland is performing today.” Your friend answers but then is quickly pulled away to meet more of her mom’s coworkers.
You’ve never heard of the band, but for a free concert you’re open to enjoy some live music.
It’s a trait you gained from Joel.
Because of him you grew to love music performances, the energy that comes with hearing the band, being among the hum of the crowd. The trips around Austin seeing not just him perform, but enjoying other concerts with him, let you appreciate and admire live shows.
Waiting for the concert allows you to enjoy some of the actual rodeo event. But the main performance of the evening soon arrives.
“You kids go enjoy! We’re getting a little too old and are just gonna stay back and enjoy the free food.” Your best friend’s mom grins with a wink.
The ticket advertisement wasn’t joking when it said close to the stage. The ground level truly sits on the dirt floor. The arena swallows you whole surrounding you like a strange fishbowl. A small crowd already lines the front railing closest to the stage. However sneakily you find a nice open spot by the side that gives a clear sight to the stage.
Even if you don’t know the band, giddiness bubbles in you electric.
You take in the massive general admission floor section already packed full. The band must be popular. So you take plenty of pictures and happily enjoy the time with your dear friend.
The lights dim and excitement crackles in the air. The stage lights up. The large backdrop screens on the stage flutter to life beginning to showcase different picturesque black and white shots of Texas.
Midland, you remember, is a city in Texas so the images make sense. A low strum of a guitar begins playing. The melody dances soft but in a quick beat, a hypnotic tune trying to rev up the crowd.
The tune brews up its intended magic that you even get swept up in the anticipation. The sound gets faster and the strumming is rather simple but so striking.
Then the music stops. Suddenly the lights of the entire stadium shut off. Wild galvanized screams erupt.
The lights brilliantly dance forth back to light. They all focus now on the performer who, like magic, now appears on the stage with the rest of the band.
And the lead singer is Joel.
Your knees almost give out.
Dressed in the most dangerous plaid green button up, it so simple yet beautifully compliments him. More grays pepper his beard and highlight his tousled curls. The brilliant stage lights bask him in a heavenly glow.
Your soul momentarily leaves your body the minute his voice sings his first note.
Instantly your best friend whips towards you panicked. She rapidly screams asking if you’re okay as she apologizes over and over.
“My dad must have gotten the dates wrong! God I should’ve fucking doubled checked or some shit!” She cries deeply apologetic and hurt.
You earnestly tell her it’s not her fault and it’s alright. It was just an unfortunate mixup.
“Do you wanna leave?” Your friend leans closer to you. Her eyes shine understanding and considerate. “We didn’t pay for these tickets and I promise you my parents will completely understand. We can say fuck it and bounce.”
You haven’t even completely processed it’s Joel. It’s like your brain went cloudy and now blinking out of the fog, your eyes return to the stage.
Joel isn’t an extroverted man. He’s reserved, quietly charming, even holds a gruff but poised grace. But right now, he’s an absolute sun on the stage. He’s radiant, naturally swaying to the music while singing his soul soul.
Maybe it’s the piece of you still horribly in love with him, or just the curiosity to see how this goes, whatever it is - you shake your head no.
“We can stay.”
Your best friend’s eyes go wide as saucers hearing your answer.
“Are you sure?” She presses and you nod your head.
“Yeah, let’s stay. Afterwards we can laugh about how old he’s gotten.” You laugh bitterly about him looking more aged even after a year.
When truthfully the stronger wrinkles around his face, the vibrant grays, all of his aging only intensifies his striking looks.
A canyon wide sized hole rips through your heart.
The song flutters to an end and the crowd claps with a thunderous roar. With a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder your dear friend nods then turns back to the concert.
You pray this isn’t the worst decision you’ve ever made.
Then Joel speaks.
“Howdy everyone,” his voice is still so devilishly thick and smooth as a shot of moonshine. His accent does his home state proud. The crowd absolutely adores him, screaming loud just hearing him speak.
“Thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. I’m Joel Miller and m’here to sing y’all a few songs.” So simple, casually eased, and it’s so Joel.
His gruff southern charm made you fall in love with him so fast and now it’s a unique brand of magic charming everyone under his spell.
Joel strums a few notes, rapidly shifting the tune and transitions into the next song.
You now fully soak in Joel.
He seems otherworldly, a god of music reincarnated as a Texan cowboy. You think back to the days sitting in his living room and listening to him play. You were honored to see that side of him, to hear him strum to life so much magic.
During the holiday’s Joel’s daughters, Ellie and Sarah, would often pester him to sing silly songs. He’d grumpily obliged but you knew he basked in their attention and love.
He loved to sing. You always knew he was destined for the stage like it was woven into his veins.
You still remember the day one of Joel’s acoustic performances blew up online gaining so much attention. The excitement and absolute joy you felt then still lingers in the corners of your heart. Although, those feelings have been gathering cobwebs.
There’s of course a bitterness seeing him, but also, an unbearably small twinkling pride knowing he’s here living his dream. The song finishes and again the stadium rumbles in applause.
“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Joel asks and your heart jumps hearing his voice again.
The crowd cheers back at him.
“Good good, let’s keep it goin’.” He yells back and then strums the guitar sharp.
That’s when the stage slowly starts moving.
It’s slow but with the surprise purpose to look out to the entire crowd. For some reason you almost laugh thinking of that man, who couldn’t even remember how to FaceTime on his ipad, on a full rotating platform.
However, the lyrics start and you realize he’s singing a heartbreak ballad.
If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too…I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you…
It’s hard hearing him now with how exhilarated the crowd screams at the stage moving. But you try to hear how the rest of the song unfolds.
At the chorus, your throat tightens.
I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high… ‘cause when I close my eyes, I’m somewhere with you
The words sting every inch of you, but you believe it has to be just a simple heartbreak story and isn’t about you, isn’t directed at you. Yet the words feel like sharpened edges of a broken mirror that seem to reflect every moment of your time with him.
Then the stage rotates to your side of the floor.
There’s no way he can see you or will even spot you. There’s a whole crowd stretching before him. You’re just a fish in a sea of fans.
Joel continues strumming, allowing his voice to so beautifully carry the emotion.
The stage, in its slow movement, is now front and center to your line of sight. Some girls at the very direct front of the railing scream and wave frantically at him.
A small smile tugs at Joel’s lips as he waves back. Joel’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd -
And that’s when he spots you.
Quickly, you rationalize he could be staring out behind you at someone else alongside the side railing.
But Joel’s eyes even narrow trying to focus more. Your gaze stays on him, like something inside of you refuses to waiver.
His eyes flicker with realization then turn into full moons.
He knows it’s you.
Joel continues singing the chorus but emotions cloud his face. His brows are furrowed hard, almost confused like he’s trying to really comprehend what’s going on.
You understand. You’d be so confused too if you were in his position. You’re still even baffled as to why you stayed in the first place.
The stage starts shifting back to the main center direction
But Joel cranes his face to the side, refusing to have his eyes leave.
His focus stays on you.
It’s obvious enough that your best friend now shakes your body.
“Is he staring at you?!” She tries to whisper but she ends up partly screaming.
You think maybe it’s a hallucination.
Yet Joel’s deep inky eyes stubbornly stay locked on you as he sings now.
If you see out on the town and it looks like I’m burning it down, you won’t ask and I won’t say… but in my heart I’m always somewhere with you…
Your world twists warped, melting into a sea of so many emotions you can’t stay afloat.
Joel finishes his song and the crowd enthusiastically cheers. Yet, it sounds muffled as a numbness crawls over you like a thick soupy fog.
You should leave. You need to. But you’re here now. And decide to see the end of this. If he’s singing about someone lingering within him, then you might as well make true to those lyrics.
Joel lowers his face for a moment and shakes his head. The mic faintly picks up his cough of a disbelieving laugh and your heart sinks.
“Alright folks, let’s jam.” He announces composed and brings his guitar to life.
He’s beautiful walking around with it. Strums effortlessly until he shifts from one guitar, his classic, to a more sleek all black styled one.
Joel lets the music and band take over while he makes the switch. He also leans in to whisper something to the stage hand.
Then as if nothing, Joel steps back into the limelight and illuminates the stage.
He walks around freely now that the stage stopped rotating. The current song is lively with a great beat and you hate how badly you want to bounce around to its infectious sound and the way Joel’s voice elevates the tune.
Caught up in the melody, you don’t notice until it’s too late. Joel walks over to the side of the stage directly facing you.
The guitar carries a large piece of this song’s bridge allowing his eyes to flicker across the crowd.
Until they return to your gaze. Stuck in his stare, Joel suddenly cocks his chin towards you.
Most of the crowd around you screams at his simple action. Even your best friend yells out a loud ‘holy shit’ but you stay quiet.
Not knowing how to react, all you do is stupidly shrug.
It’s awful, not even the best reaction you can give.
But Joel barks a laugh, a true laugh that thankfully happens at the tail end of the song, but your knees go weak.
You made him laugh.
On stage.
Heartache finds its way back into your system fiercer than ever and it poisonously tastes of adoration as well.
Joel transitions into another song. This time moving around the stage more towards the other side.
Yet, either his eyes flicker back to you, or he ends up walking to your section.
A part of you wonders if he’s doing this now to mock you, almost showing off how good he is knowing you’re here. You don’t believe Joel would be that heartless, but you hate how that option still lingers.
“He’s been walking over here a lot.” Someone even behind you even notices.
“Well he is old.” Someone yells back. “Maybe he’s just trying to keep his joints in shape.”
You almost want to snap back that he’s looking damn good for his age and in good enough shape that he kept you bent like a pretzel for practically a whole weekend, but you swallow back the protective bite.
You simply go back to enjoying the show, and it’s fantastic. You can’t deny that. Joel is a performer, keeps the crowd focused and engaged. He isn’t showy or dramatic but takes control of his presence on stage.
You think of the days seeing him at small bars around town, sitting on a stool playing till his heart's content.
Then he booked Stubb’s in Austin and when you watched him own that stage - you knew this was meant for him.
You’re reminded of that so vividly tonight.
“Alright, gettin’ to the end here.” He announces and the crowd sounds heartbroken.
“I know, i know,” he coos back soft and low. “But just wanted to say y’all have been lovely.”
So many shrill shrieks crack in the room and you almost roll your eyes.
Your best friend snickers beside you. “Gotta give it to him, man can work a room.”
She’s right of course. Though it’s still so surprising for a man grumpily reserved and introverted at times.
“This next one I hope maybe some of y’all will know.”
He strums the cords to Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive.’
What gained Joel traction online was his renditions and covers of various songs. He added his own country twang and twist to all the songs he covered.
Pearl Jam happened to be one of Ellie’s favorite bands. A hollow nostalgia rip through you, thinking of the two girls you miss.
The crowd ignites recognizing the familiar rock ballad now turned into the tune of a country song by Joel’s touch. He owns the solo and his husky voice melts into the lyrics beautifully.
Under your breath you sing along. You used to sing along when you cooked breakfast at his place or during drives with him and the girls.
It’s a beautiful fondness, yet one still barbed and so aching.
The song ends with the intense but small burst of fireworks that has the stadium cheering. You even clap.
“Appreciate y’all.” He addresses the crowd. “That’s a one of my daughter’s favorites so always means a lot when I get to play it.”
A smile you can’t fight tugs at your lips at the mention of Ellie.
“Now my daughters, they’re like night ‘n day.” Joel continues and your heart fills up so overwhelming fast for those girls.
“One of them, like I said, loves some Pearl Jam. Now my other daughter…” Joel pauses.
“She’s a big fan of someone by the name of Taylor Swift.”
The crowd absolutely explodes and you think you even feel the arena shake. Sarah honestly was a big fan and Ellie loved to tease her about it so much.
“Normally for this next and final song, I’d play ‘‘shake it off.’” Joel had a few songs of hers that he covered. That one was a fan favorite.
“But tonight, I'm itchin’ to play somethin’ else.” He continues.
You even perk up curious.
“So let’s end this on a high note, yeah? Sing along if you know this one.” Joel concludes.
Then the drums begin and the song bursts to life.
The stadium swims in a dizzying frantic energy.
The way Joel sings, he’s pouring his heart out. He’s memorizing. Utterly heart wrenching.
This is the finale, the end of this strange unreal dream you’ve wandered into. You wonder if he feels it too.
The song’s chilling bridge comes and Joel walks to stare directly at you.
I thought I had you figured out, can’t breathe whenever you’re gone. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted…
His eyes never leave yours.
The lyrics sear through your heart. You think about screaming the song to back him. He’s the one who left, the one who’s ghost lives among your ribs.
Then Joel hits the final high note, lets his voice carry the powerful finale, and the crowd roars in earth shaking excitement.
It’s magical, magnetic and utterly devastating in both the best and worst ways. Another few sets of indoor fireworks go off and the show ends.
Joel wishes the crowd a beautiful night and you’re left in a tangled web of emotions.
Your best friend immediately turns to see if you’re okay. While the crowd starts leaving, you and her take a moment. Out of the edge of your focus, you notice a crew member of the arena approaching the side of the rail. You don’t think anything of it.
“Excuse me,” until that crew member stands in front of you on the other side of the barrier.
Blinking absolutely confused you turn towards the man.
“I’ve been asked to escort you backstage.” He explains and your best friend gasps.
You wonder if the ground opened below and dropped you into a free fall.
Quickly you stammer out that you couldn’t. There's no way. Maybe the man must’ve mistaken you for someone else.
“Mr. Miller said you’d say something like that.” The crew member says reaching into his pocket to hand you something.
It’s a keychain.
Not just any keychain, but the one you gave Joel.
It’s a cartoon armadillo, dressed up as a cowboy, holding a guitar. When you first saw it you immediately thought of Joel. His daughters got a kick over it, giggled at how cute it was, and your heart had bursted when you saw it constantly among his keys.
Now the worn little cowboy creature sits waiting for you. It’s sweet marble like eyes stare up at you like a day hasn’t gone by since you gave Joel this.
Your best friend gasps, maybe not fully recognizing the keychain but understanding the significance.
You ask the crew member if your friend can maybe accompany you backstage, but he shakes his head a sad no.
“Then I…I can’t.” You shakily breathe out.
“Yes you can!” She interjects. “You gotta at least hear him out!”
You turn to her and find determination fiercely burning in her eyes as she nods.
“But what about you? I don’t want you or your parents waiting around for me.” You urge.
“Don’t worry about me or especially about them!” She reassures, even offering to wait for as long as you need.
You’re grateful, unbearably so and embrace her tight.
“You call me if he gets stupid. I don’t care backstage or not, I’ll go get you.”
You laugh watery at her well meaning threat and thank her. With a quick sweet goodbye, you follow the crew member along the rails until exiting.
The walk out to the backstage area fills you with a hurricane of emotions. What else could Joel say to you? A part of you wonders if he’s going to be cruel about this, having you simply show up to his dressing room just to laugh so arrogant and smug about how wonderfully famous he is now.
No, Joel isn’t that type of man.
Or you hope fame hasn't warped him into that type of man. Arriving at the green room door, your heart races loud in your ears.
The crew member knocks and before you can compose yourself, Joel opens the door.
He’s bathed in the golden amber light of the backstage room. It highlights all those grays again but also illuminates more of the time passed on his face. More winkles line against his eyes and when he fully stares at you, you wonder how different you might look in his eyes.
A jackrabbit like urge rushes over you to maybe flee, call your best friend to come get you.
“Thanks for comin’,” he mutters out. “Was worried ya wouldn’t show.”
You want to bitterly joke that you didn’t want to, but the armadillo keychain you hang onto holds the truth.
The door closes leaving you and Joel alone. Awkward stale air chokes the space.
You simply keep your attention on examining the room. His classic weathered jacket rests thrown over the couch. The rider is stacked with so many classic Joel snacks like his favorite jerky, popcorn, and even a few familiar favorite treats his daughters love.
Then your eyes catch the mug on the counter and you grin softly.
It must be filled with Joel’s classic drink - chamomile and ginger tea with honey for his throat.
“It’s…yeah. That’s it.”
You didn’t even realize you said anything out loud until Joel replies casuing your heart to jump. Finally your eyes find his.
It's a curse that your greatest heartbreak is this handsome. Exhaustion weighs in you and feels ancient, like if you carry the sum of so many lifetimes before.
“So…You wanted to talk to me?” You speak first, trying to keep yourself strong.
“I…uh yeah.” Answering so cryptically, his shoulders deflate. “How ya been?”
“Good.” You answer simple, curt almost.
There’s too many things that could’ve slipped out if you said anything more. Like how you selfishly kept one of his shirts and hate that the smell of him on it has faded like a wistful memory. Or how you can barely listen to Dolly Parton or Johnny Cash anymore because you’re reminded of Joel singing along to their songs.
So you turn the conversation back to him.
You ask how the girls are and Joel perks up, eyes shimmering with fatherly pride.
“Good, yeah they’re good. Uh, Ellie’s playing softball for the school again ‘n Sarah’s busy with student council. They’re still just bossin’ me all around.”
“As usual.”
You both say the same line at the same time and it chokes you up.
Joel inhales and his lips press tight, a hard line. The air tightens. No one says anything and now annoyance, frustration and maybe even a bit of panic claw at you.
“Joel, why am I here?” You ask him again.
Sighing, so weary and tired, he looks down.
Feels like ages pass between you and him. The faint noise of the stadium leaks into the room muffled.
You think of your best friend waiting and of your own heart waiting to end this.
“Look, it was good to see you,” you half lie. “You did great, hope you and the girls take care”
You turn to walk out.
That’s when he blurts out your name and you stop.
“I miss you.” He exhales.
“Miss ya so g’damn much. Every fuckin’ day.” He mutters.
When you turn back around, he stares at you unwavering. You don’t know what to say.
“Seein’ ya out in the crowd…thought m’heart was gonna give out.” He barks a weak laugh.
“Almost stoppin’ the fuckin’ show just to make sure it was you… y’look beautiful as ever.” His eyes haze over slightly, almost nostalgic.
Suddenly a heated spark rips into your chest, jagged edged and angered.
“You broke up with me.” You snap, voice already raw.
“I know,” Joel nods. “Worst damn decision of m’life.”
Your lips tremble. Everything hurts like a live wire is burning up your veins.
“Then why? Why did you do it?” You croak. You want to scream, maybe even storm out and not even give him the chance to speak.
“What? Did Mr. Big Country Star hate having a partner that wasn’t famous too?” Venom leaks bitter and poisonous in your mouth, choking your throat.
“Y’know god damn well that ain’t it.” He snarls back hard.
“No actually I fucking don’t know Joel.” You reply with a fierce bite. “You so conveniently left out any real damn reason why you were breaking up with me.”
“I said our paths were going in separate directions.” He glares hard at you now.
“And that’s about it!” Your voice raises and you hate it.
The tears come quicker than you hoped for and you hate that more.
“No real explanation,” you exhale, wanting to stay as calm as you can. “You couldn’t even give me that…what else am I supposed to think?”
Even dabbing away your tears, your composure is slowly slipping.
“I couldn’t do this to you,” he breathes out and it’s broken. His eyes are shimmering obsidian pools.
“This life, all the fuckin’ mess that comes with dating someone in the limelight, I couldn’t just throw that on ya.” He explains and the truth rings out a quiet hum.
“And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?” You whisper out now hurt. “Joel, I thought we were a team.”
“We are- were.” He slips and corrects himself fast. “I just knew if we fuckin’ talked about it you wouldn’t have understood.”
“Understood what?” You’re frustrated and it leaks into your voice.
“That I didn’t want ya fuckin’ hatin’ me!” He finally screams the weighted truth.
Stunned quiet but still slightly confused, you ask Joel what he means.
Pain travels across Joel’s handsome face as his jaw clenches hard.
“This shit…it takes away a lot.” He croaks out. “Hell I’ve even missed things with the girls. Didn’t want ya sacrificin’ your life or wakin’ up one day and realizin’ how much you’ve lost ‘cause of me…couldn’t let myself do that to you.”
Your chest aches like a rocket got shot into you. You’re angry he took that chance for you to decide, but you understand.
Joel never wants to be the cause of pain to others, especially those he loves.
He agonizes so much over his decisions and how corrupting he believes he is. When in reality every action he takes you know simply stems from his endless deep devotion to keep those he loves safe.
His decision to end your relationship was him, in his own frustrating Joel way, trying to keep you safe. Even if it was from himself.
Your lips tremble and you cuss bitterly hard under your breath.
“You damn stupid man.” You hiccup. “I didn’t…I don’t care what life fame would’ve given me with you. I would never resent you. For better or worse I just wanted a life with you, that’s all I ever wanted.”
Through a few sobs, you wipe the tears fogging up your sight.
Before you can see it happening, strong sturdy arms suddenly wrap around you and shock you breathless. Curled in Joel’s arms, it’s like a sad coming home party and you cry even more.
“M’so sorry, my darlin’.” Joel whispers against your forehead.
“I hate you.” You don’t. Even on your hardest days, you never could.
“I know, hate my fuckin’ ass too.” Joel replies.
His arms squeeze you tighter.
“Never stopped lovin’ you. Never will.” His voice wavers and now your arms wrap around him.
“You left.” You whisper back so small while tears continue to prickle in your eyes.
“I know honeydew, ‘n I’ll never forgive myself for it.” He replies fiercely like a strike of lightning with its bright force. “Been a fuckin’ mess without ya. Tommy would be the first to agree and the girls too.”
You absorb his words, basking in the safe haven that is Joel. Hours, maybe days pass just in his arms.
“Please forgive me, baby.” He whispers hoarse against your head.
You nod a soft yes.
Because even the part of you that wants to yell and stubbornly say no knows the ultimate answer is, and always will be, him.
“Of course…I love you.” You mutter half dazed against his strong chest. “Love of my life.”
Pressed so close to him, you feel how hard he swallows and his arms squeeze you impossibly tighter against you.
He says your name and you hum out a soft noise.
“Marry me.”
Your eyes, which have sort of glazed over, snap open wide.
“What?” You mutter out, maybe think you misheard him.
“Marry me.” Joel repeats himself.
You practically squawk like a confused bird and scramble in his arms.
“Joel Miller, you can’t be serious?!” You shriek through the tears still lingering in your voice.
Your face snaps up to him. His face is composed, almost serene in a way as he look at you with molten eyes.
“Serious as that g’damn ring I bought ya.”
His words are a mumble but so soft and unwavering. Your soul leaves your body like you were thrown into a cold lake.
“You what?” You stammer out.
“Y’heard me.” He nudges his chin to you. “A ring. Bought it after you dropped everything to go take care of the girls when they got sick.”
Too many emotions overwhelm you and the tears return with a vengeance.
Joel, like a steady man in the storm, places his warm hand on your face to gather you back into his embrace. He places the softest kiss to the side of your head.
“We gotta have a chat about discussing your feelings with me more, Miller.” You manage to chide him through your tears.
“I know.” He mutters against your skin while he continues softly kissing you with utter tenderness. “‘N I’m not lettin’ ya go again.”
You squeeze him hard, trying to burn his memory into your arms worried you’re going to wake up and find this is just a heartbroken hallucination.
“Baby,” he begins.
“Hm?”
“Stay with me for the night.” He urges. “The bus got plenty of room-”
“Ooo, is this what you say to all your groupies, Mr. Miller?” You tease with a snort.
“Behave.” His hand playfully squeezes your hip but his underlying somber tone even with his chuckle ignites a familiar heat brewing in you of the times he’s reprimanded you like that before.
“No groupies.” Joel reassures you. “Only you sweetheart, only ever gonna be you.”
His words flutter into your heart and make a nest there.
Gently you draw back to stare at Joel. Your hand moves to his face, aching to just touch him. Even in his arms you’re waiting for him to vanish from your touch as if he’s a figment of your wrecked heart, a ghost of lovers past haunting you now.
But his stubble tickles against your palm. Running warm as usual, his face feels like a soft morning sun. Your thumb strokes his cheek and his eyes close, melting into your hold.
Gently you place a soft kiss against the corner of his lips.
Joel now tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss before you can even draw away.
It’s not a consuming passion that you expected. No frantic fierce clash of lips or an overflow from a year passed between you two.
Instead it’s a soft welcome home. It’s a kiss you’ve given him when he’s come home late or when you leave for work.
Because his blood, his soul, you believe are simply stitched into the very fabric of you. It’s like a piece of you is returning back to you, or maybe back to your other home with him.
“So you gonna stay with me?” He mumbles against your lips.
“I don’t know Miller, you haven’t even offered to sign anything for me. What kind of famous country singer are you?” You smirk against his lips.
He laughs, hearty, a true wild deep one sweeping you into its joy.
“Hell yeah I’ll fuckin’ sign something for ya, our marriage certificate.” He snaps in classic grumpy Joel fashion and you almost think about dragging him to a courthouse.
You text your friend a million apologies and even take pictures of all the signed merch you’re bringing back to her.
Now in the cocoon of Joel’s cozy bed on his tour bus, among the warmth sheets, you hold the ring up in the dim light inspecting it. Because of course your secretly romantic man kept the ring with him.
“You sure you weren’t keeping this around for someone else?” You ask.
“Fuck no.” He growls low. “S’yours…only yours.”
From behind his arms slide around you and you’re encompassed by his swallowing presence. His beard scrapes against your shoulder.
“If ya don’t like it, can get ya another one.” He mutters casually but hesitant softness peeks out from under his gruff tone.
“It’s perfect.” You reassure him.
It’s the ring Joel got you then and it’s the ring you want now and always will. You even tell him that.
The kisses places on your bare shoulder whispers of his devotion.
“Honey.” However, his voice now is hesitant and makes you pause on your ring inspecting.
“I gotta ask…but do ya have my armadillo keychain?” Joel asks with an utter somberness.
You burst out laughing and it shakes your body.
“Honeydew, I’m being serious!” He growls out. “Want that lil’ fella back!”
Wheezing with giggles you lean back against Joel, floating so blissfully floating in renewed adoration.
Twisting in his arms your lips find his.
“Tryin’ to distract me ‘cause you lost him, huh?” He mutters.
You snort, shaking your head.
“No I just love you so much, you dumb cowboy.” You tell him.
“Your dumb cowboy. For better or worse.” He vows, kissing you back firmer now.
“For better or worse,” you nod breathing into him.
In this carved out slightly cramped space it feels holy, sacred, chapel like. You’re even afraid it might be gone tomorrow morning. However, the ring on your finger is the steeled reassurance it isn’t going anywhere.
But, just in case, you gather this glory and Joel into your arms with the promise of never letting go.
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simpcityy · 2 months
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My Little Spawn Pt.3 (Dadstarion X Child!Reader)
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Summary: Astarion was finally free from Cazador after being kidnapped by a mindflayer but he was stuck with one annoying task, you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Baldur's Gate 3 or any of its characters.
Word Count: 2.1k
Warnings: Use of (Y/N), Cazador, language, violence, spoilers for those who haven't gone far in the game, mentions of blood, animal death...Uhhh...I think that is all.
Authors Note: Thank you all so much for the support! I am so glad you are all loving this series so far! As always please, like, reblog and comment if you are loving this series and hopefully others would like it as well. Also...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 500 FOLLOWERS. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. Since we reached this number, I would do another father figure series because I feel I'm much better at that than a romance x reader version. Who should it be? Gale? Wyll? Rolan? Gortash? So many choices!
  Astarion leans against the rocky wall watching you get swarm by the female druids and Tieflings coddling you from how adorable you are. He lets out a small smile seeing you pout as the ladies coo at you. He thinks back to the discovery he found out 2 nights ago. Dhampir, when has Cazador ever been involved with a human. More importantly which dumb female wants to be in a relationship with Cazador. He looks at you seeing you trying to squirm away from the ladies. He sudden thinks back how protective Cazador was with you. Never letting you step out of the palace even at night….no…he wasn’t protecting you but rather himself. He’s raising you as a spawn to conceal the reality of your powers. What a bastard but then again Astarion is not surprised, it’s Cazador after all.  
 You finally had enough of this ladies and burst out crying “Astarion!” You wail feeling overwhelmed. He sighs and walks over “Excuse me Ladies, I think the little one has enough and I hate for them to get cranky.” He picks you up walking away from the pouting ladies. “Now, now, there is no need to cry” He sighs and rubs your back as you whimper clinging on to his armor. “Don’t like the attention or what?” He asked as you only kept quiet whimpering a couple times laying your head on his shoulder trying to relax. He leans his head back trying to look at you, “Are…you okay, so odd of you to be quiet.” He mutters trying to find the group in the grove. “I just miss home…I miss papa…and everyone else…” You mutter. He sighs “there, there but you have me no?” He hums walking through the grove enjoying this simple conversation with you. “I want to go home…my clothes don’t fit much…it hurts me and I miss my toys!” You whine. Astarion lets out a chuckle “Oh what a spoiled little spawn…well creature…eh, you’ll always be a little spawn to me.” He puts you down looking at you, it was true, he did notice you were an inch taller than yesterday and your clothes did look a bit tight. “Oh you weren’t kidding…” He thinks looking around “Dhampir do grow faster and mature faster….” He mutters to himself before going to a trader seeing if they have anything in stock, fabric even. 
As he was busy, you stray from him as you spotted a few tiefling children playing. You ran over smiling “Can I play!” You stood in front of them. “Sure! You’re from Baldur’s gate aren’t you by the way you talk and dress?” One of them smiles, “What games do you play at home?” One asked. You think carefully. Games, well you play ball by yourself, Cazador has you learn reading and writing. “I…um…I don’t know…usually papa has me studying and sends his people to play with me.” You held your hands behind your back and kick your feet in a shy manner. “Oh…you’re those kinds…Um….I think I heard my mom calling” They quickly left as the others give other excuses and leave you alone. You only look down and grab the ball they dropped bouncing it on your own. “What’s the matter?” Gale walks over seeing the scene. You look up, eye glossy trying not to let tears fall down. “Making friends is hard…” You whisper “Back home there is no other children playing with me…” Gale looks at you thinking back to himself as a young child. “It is isn’t it?” He smiles gently grabbing the ball from you and tossing it to you playing. You smile giggling and toss it back to him. “I don’t have any friends at home to play with, papa never lets me leave the big castle…” You catch the ball as it was tossed back. “Is that so? I know how it feels to be lonely…how about this.” He catches the ball and placed it down as he squats to your height. “(Y/N) would you like to be my friend?” He smiles as your eyes widen gasping. “You mean it!” Your little body bouncing with excitement. Gale nods waiting for your response. “Yes!” You bounce happily “ I have to tell Astarion!” You ran off to find the pale elf. Gale chuckles watching run off to bother Astarion with a big smile on your face.  
The next day You were told to stay in the grove. Shadowheart chuckles watching you pouting away eating whatever was given to you. “I want to go out too!” You look up at her. She only sighs “How do I deal with children…you want to go out you say? I guess we can outside the gates and collect some herbs. I know everyone is going to need healing after this battle.” Getting up, she held your hand and walked outside of the grove. You ran around happily collecting flowers for everyone. “What am I supposed to collect?” You asked her. She smiles fixing your hair “See this herb right there, that’s what we need.” She points as your eyes follow the direction she was pointing at. You ran over picking it up smiling and collected more. She only sits by the rock watching you over as you collected whatever caught your little eye. You hum the same tune Cazador would hum to you. Collecting flowers you stopped seeing a bunny hop around in the distance. Shadowheart was busy playing with the artifact like a rubik's cube only to look up hearing the poor bunny squeal in the distance. She panics not seeing you and gets up putting the artifact away. “(Y/N)!?” She follows the sound before going down a small path behind a rock wall seeing you drain the blood of the poor bunny. You look up at her blood soaking your shirt and your lips stained. “What…are you doing?” She slowly walks over to you and kneels by you. You look at him “I…I didn’t mean to…I wanted to play with the bunny but…” You began to wail feeling overwhelmed by these urges. “Oh please don’t cry.” Shadowheart panics looking around, not knowing what to do in this scenario. “Where is the Spawn when you need him…okay. Let’s clean you up and a nap will help” She holds your hand ignoring the blood and toss the rabbit on the side into a bush for a wolf or other animal to chow on. She walks to the river and makes you wash your hands. “Relax, everything is going to be okay.” She whispers as you whimper. She collects water into her palm and rubs off the blood from your shirt the best of her ability. She sighs seeing the shirt to be now discolored into the blood stain. “Your bag is in the grove….we can’t let them see you like this.” She wipes your cheeks clean as well. You look over hearing the bush rustle behind her. Shadowheart quickly picked you up and took out her mace. “Who goes there!” She glares. You cling to her only to tear up seeing Astarion walk out of the bush. 
“There you are, I thought I smelled blood near the gate.” He was out of breath and bruised from the battle they came back. His hair was all over the place and had a panicked look on his face. Shadowheart puts her mace away “Don’t scare me like that! I could’ve swing!” She scolds at him. He paid no attention to her as he walks over seeing your face stained in tears and a scared look. He noticed your clothes stained in blood. He took you from her arms and held you close, his hand on the back of your head. “What in the hells were you thinking?! I thought it was your blood I smelled all the way from the gates! I thought you got hurt!” He yells but not loudly knowing how much you hate it. You only laid your little head on his shoulder crying into his shoulder, your fist clinging on to him. He softens a bit feeling your little shoulders shake, you were scared. “What happened?” He looks at Shadowheart ready to pin this on her. “What did you do to them!” He glares at her. Hearing the commotion, Tav found them along with the others following. “What’s going on? Why is (Y/N) crying?” Tav walks over ready to stop Astarion seeing the murderous glare at the young woman. “What did you do!” He repeats to her, holding you close. “Their Dhampir side came out…” Shadowheart looks at him, feeling a bit speechless seeing him get this overprotective. She snaps out of it and points to the bunny in the bush. Gale walks over but turns around quickly “If you have a weak stomach…I suggest not looking” He covers his mouth. Tav walks over and looks at the bunny. “Gods…its in pieces….” They whisper. Hearing their comments made you tear up. They think your a monster, they won’t be your friends anymore…they won’t take you to see your home and papa anymore. You only hide your face more, letting out choked sobs. “Enough! Think before you speak.” Astarion held you close “We just hide the damn bunny and do our best to cheer them up…they are feeling overwhelmed and not themselves…gods do you people ever use your brain?” He walks off holding you close. 
  Night fell, you were in Astarion tent, in the corner. The pale elf walks in holding food, “Your still human…you need to eat this….we can start implementing human foods more than blood to control that urge.” He sits by you. You only look at the plate, hugging your knees and shake your head no. “(Y/N)...it was okay what you did…it’s in your nature…and I know your scared…I was too…when I first became a spawn….” He whispers softly and scoots closer only for you to scoot away. “ No…I don’t want to you…or anyone…like I did to Mr.Bunny..” You tear up. “Is that why mommy didn’t want me…am I a monster…they…probably won’t be my friends anymore” You whispers thinking back their reaction to the bunny. Astarion looks at you before grabbing your arm, you gasp and try to wiggle away, scared to hurt him only to feel a warm embrace. Astarion held you close, planting a kiss on the top of your head. “By hells, you are speaking nonsense little spawn.” He rubbed your back. “If they thought of us as monster, we wouldn’t be here now…they…are odd in their own ways you know so no one is perfect.” He grabbed the plate “Now eat up” He feed you a piece of fish and sat you on his lap, making sure you ate. You happily munched feeling slightly better. 
  After finishing your food, you laid your little head on Astarions chest as he held you close in one arm while the other was busy reading a book about Dhampir’s he found in a box. Your little doe eyes look up seeing everyone walk to Astarion’s tent. You cling to him feeling anxious only to calm down as Astarion rubs your little arm, “Relax, they come bearing gifts” He hums. Gale was the first one to talk “(Y/N), it was rude of me to…you know…having a weak stomach but you have nothing to worry about, I will always be your friend.” He smiles and leans down leaving down a purple wrapped gift on the ground for you smiling. He rubs your head “Sleep well” He whispers before being pushed back by Karlach, “Hey little soldier! Look what I got you” She smiles placing the small stuff bear in your arms which you happily accepted. “Thank you” You whisper shyly hugging the bear. Shadowheart smiles as it was her turn. “I got you some pretty flowers and made a couple of bracelets, we both have one. “ She shows off hers and place the other next to Gale’s gift. Tav walks over smiling and crouched next to you and Astarion. “Mine…you’ll have to wait because I promise…I will take you back home” They pat your head. Upon hearing this, you gasp. “You mean it! I get to see my papa soon!” You sat up. 
Astarion leans back watching you interact happily with everyone, that fear gone. He chuckles seeing you yawn and rub your eyes. “Alright little spawn time for sleep.” He looks at the others shooing them away from his tent and picks you up, fixing the bedroll and lays down, holding you close. He wasn’t going to let you go through this alone, not on his watch. You’re his little spawn after all.
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crazyk-imagine · 3 months
Text
Mean
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Pairing: Paul Lahote x Fem!reader
Characters: Fem!reader, Paul Lahote, Sam Uley, Emily Young, Jared Cameron, Embray Call, Tiny Tim (made up)
Warnings: Reader knows about the supernatural, implications of dead parent, ex's inspire people, Sam and Emily are adorable, am I making them my favorites bc of the way I write them lol, Paul and Reader are adorable, Paul is a little shit, so is Embry and Jared, no one can act normal around a sassy person
Word Count: 1,231
A/N: Was I listening to Mean by Taylor Swift? You can't prove anything
I've had this ready for a week, but shit kept happening at work man ughhhhhh
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It was meant to be, or so you thought.
You blink, staring at the ceiling not sure why your ex came to mind.
He was partial to the reason for your move the gloomy town (which you enjoyed more than the sunny state you were in) but not the entire reason.
If only your mom could see you now, working hard and still keeping true to who you are.
You push yourself out of bed, needing to get started on your day.
-
You finish up and jot down another line, knowing it's slowly turned into a "revenge" song.
You exit your place and hop in your truck, heading down to your favorite person's place.
"Emily, your other honey is home."
Sam lets out a dry laugh. "Funny as always."
"I know, it's one of the perks of being my friend."
"Are going to do..." You snatch a muffin from the tray. "Sam things?"
The couple glance at one another, curious if you know.
"Yeah, we won't be back till later-" He doesn't finish as the boys burst through the door. Almost all ignore you, not aware of your presence.
You mumble, "now I know why you're ready to feed an army."
The boys freeze, all conversations stopping. "Uh-"
"Who's the girl?" Jared asks, snaking a muffin.
You raise a brow, picking at the muffin, breaking it into bite size pieces. "What a question."
"Who's the sassy girl?" The same guy asks.
"How do you deal with idiots?"
Emily snickers, scanning over the pack for their expressions.
"Good thing Paul's not here or else he'd flip a lid," Embry mutters.
You push yourself off the stool and grab your bag. "Later, Em. Bye bye, Sammy."
You wave them off before glancing at the group. "Such an interesting... gang you have here."
You spin around, smirking to yourself, not wanting to let the cat (wolf) out of its bag. "I heard there's going to be a full moon tonight."
Or maybe you don't care if they know you know.
"Does she-"
The door slams shut.
You shake your head, smirking to yourself, proud of your teasing. You bump into a body, not entirely paying attention. "Sorry." You pass by the person and hop in your car, not realizing the electricity he felt in that simple touch.
You look up after putting your keys in the ignition, only to find a dark pair of eyes on yours.
The subtle feeling through your body alerts you.
"Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap." You have to force your gaze away from his. "Please don't be able to read lips. Oh, crap. They can hear." You start pulling out and make it back to your house.
-
Weeks go by and you screen another one of Emily's calls.
"I'll call her when this passes," you mutter, writing another line. You slam your pencil down, "who am I kidding? It's never going to stop."
You don't want to answer her and send another lie.
Boo Thang #2 &lt;;3
'Sorry, not feeling good. Will text later.' 2:59pm Sent Read
A knock on your door surprises you.
You carefully make your way to the door, scanning through the peephole. Your back's flat against the door. "Why the hell is he here?"
"We need to talk."
"I don't think so."
"You know more than you let on."
"So?"
"We need to talk."
"Can I just call you?"
"No, Emily's been trying for days, and it hasn't worked. Let me in."
You scoff, "not with that attitude."
He growls under his breath, "fine. Please let me in?"
"No."
"You're testing my patience."
"Go test it out with someone else."
"That's not what I meant, and you know it."
"You gotta be more specific bud."
"I don't like that name."
"Bud?"
"Stop it."
You smirk, "bud."
He knocks on your door with more force, trying to get one of your neighbors to come out so they can tell him to stop and make you let him in.
You snarl as the door swings open, "stop it you, idiot." You yank him in, earning a confident smirk from him.
"I don't like this look on you. You think you've won."
"Who says I haven't?"
"Me. I am the one who decides since this is my place."
"Living here alone? Really?"
You shrug, "parents died."
"Oh," he clears his throat, "sorry."
"It's fine. Not your fault."
"So, uh- what do you know?"
"I used to visit when I was a kid and heard the stories because of my cousin."
"You know?"
"That we happen to be united forever essentially, kind of hard not to, not gonna lie."
"Are you upset?"
You furrow your brows, "what do you mean?"
"Your imprints with the hothead. The one with "anger" issues. The list goes on." His brows furrow in annoyance, the pout on his lip making him look... cute.
"Who?"
He shocked you don't know who he is. "Lahote?"
"Paul?" You ask, not entirely sure if you got the right name or not.
"Oh, so you do know."
He sighs, "great."
"Barely, I just remember your guy's names from the elders at the meetings."
"How long has it been since you were in town?"
You shrug, "few years. I haven't been out of the house as much since my life went to crap," you offer a sarcastic smile.
"I feel like I've brought the mood down, do you- do you want to go out? I know this one place with uh- with decent music." He tells you the name and it takes all of you to not smile.
"Let's go, but we take my car."
He lets out a dramatic sigh, "fine."
-
You two arrive half an hour before you have to go on stage.
You make up an excuse and say you're going to be right back, needing to use the little girl's room.
"Next up, is one of our favorites," the mc, Tiny Tim (your favorite guy there) announces.
You walk across stage, confusing Paul but not Emily and Sam (who told him to take you there if he got far enough). They cheer you on while listening to your song.
All you are is mean And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
You make it back to your seat beside your wolf.
"Where'd you learn to do that?"
You shrug, not liking the attention on you.
"That was- that was amazing."
"It was nothing."
"No- no, that was really good." Emily sneaks up behind you. "And that's saying something, Paul doesn't like to use his words to express his emotions."
The man frowns. "We get it. We get it."
You roll your eyes, "stop it, you two."
-
You two make it back your place. "I should at least drop you off."
He shakes his head, "I'm not that far from you."
"I don't know if I believe that."
"Then believe ne when I say I can run and not get tired."
You narrow your eyes before turning your head to hide your chuckle. "Get out of here, you idiot."
You hear him close the door and stare into the woods, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
The only wolf standing between the path of trees sticks out and you know it's him.
You shake your head, going into your home. "Idiot."
You swear you hear him huff.
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